#anyway i try to enjoy dd's work in spite of it

[baronessblixen]

This may be controversial, so if you choose to not post it, I completely understand. I’m not trying to open this controversial line of discussion. I just feel like you may being sort of on the same page.

I fell down the MP and DD rabbit hole today. I find that when I do that, which isn’t often, it taints my view of DD. It makes me like him, Fox Mulder, and The X Files just a little bit less. It may stem from jealousy, but when I think of the possibility of DD and GA, I don’t get that feeling. 🤷‍♀️

I'm sure it's controversial, but so be it. I know what you mean. When it was clear that they are a couple, I struggled so much with enjoying the show. Season 11 was the worst but even early seasons made it difficult. I'd watch an episode from season 1 and my brain would go, his girlfriend was an infant when they filmed this.

I wish I could completely ignore their relationship but I can't. I envy people who just don't give a shit. Wish that could be me. But it just isn't me so I need to find ways to work around that.

I hope you don't fall down that rabbit hole too often. Enjoy the show. Enjoy Mulder. He's such a great character. Try to see DD as a Mulder vessel and a Mulder vessel only. Maybe it'll work for you ❤

#lovely anons #thank you for this ask #i can relate anon #it's difficult to navigate #i don't think this relationship will ever not make me feel uncomfortable #she's not even as old as their age gap #anyway i try to enjoy dd's work in spite of it #some days it works better than others #i hope you can find a way for yourself too

[the-warmest-hands]

stMarysW6

monday: joyce wasn’t there, so i did trash at st mary’s, then trash at holly and watering infield at holly and watering bocana, then mobile route, then returned to st mary’s and hedged the salvia out front. looks acceptable. if i really wanted to fix it i would have to like, cut it back real real hard so that it could grow normally cuz right now it’s incredibly dense in one section probably because it was reaching for sun and it’s under the cedar

LM - 6 IRR - 2 (coso water)

went home on oshaughnessy worked on arch homework

tuesday: i called out cuz there was the all-staff and i didn’t care and also i had to finish my homework for arch100 also it was a depression day but i picked myself up off the ground (easier to say that now that i’ve picked myself up) because they told me that both bv and harding had 0 openings and i went into freakout mode because i tend to overreact to bad news and i just spiraled real hard into “why do i do anything if i can never have the things i want” hahahahahah sounds funny only in hindsight. when it’s happening it’s not funny.

anyway then i finished my presentation in the midst of all this angst, and it was a terrible presentation, and biked to class in spite of my depression, and printed out my stupid project three times because i had the wrong settings twice, but which actually looked kinda legit due to the terrible print job, and gave a terrible presentation and then biked home feeling better because class was kinda fun and i enjoyed other people’s presentations and the discussion we had.

also then it was time to go to potato’s birthday dinner with potato and xo which was fun because despite all my resistance to seeing others when i’m depressed, i always have fun with people i love, and i truly love potato and xo even if i think that i don’t want to see them we ate pretty good food (amazing bread-items, butter, bone marrow, broccolini, and pork ribs, mediocre beef tartare and fried chicken) at wayfare tavern, and i biked there in a tank top and black jeans and heels (ie my “i feel hot and im going out” look) so i felt pretty good. also i rode like the wind on the gangster which also felt good. and i went up california until fillmore and then i went up bush and then i went over on polk back to california which was a dumb idea because after larkin is that fuckin downhill with tram tracks and it’s scary so i got off at like, taylor and walked myself down like a chump but that’s ok because safety first. and i wuz not gonna footbrake in these heels. and i could not skid because. idk. fear. fear’s the only reason u can’t do things. i really believe this.

wednesday: kendra wasn’t there; mobile route by myself! and then line trimming the CPA, and then irrigation with stan which was fun. stan is like the fun brother i never had. everyone i like is like the fun brother i never had. also when i was trashwalking, i saw hellllllla raccoon damage and i was like ok we needa investigate station 1, and then when i was line trimming the CPA i saw a random nozzle in a mound of dirt and i was like hmm what is going on here why’s there a mound of dirt and i touched the nozzle and it just came out of the head so i was like welp gotta investigate and maybe replace and i thought i was mad slick for identifying irrigation problems that had to be dealt with then at the end of the day i saw that kendra had already identified those and wrote them down on the todo list she wrote for us that i failed to look at carefully

maaaaan

LM - 2 IRR - 6

then i biked home on oshaughnessy and did my article report real fast and then class was canceled so i went to dd to ask about stem and show off my 1x centurion but also i’m not that stoked on it so now i’m like why did i try to get into road bikes again when every time i know i don’t want it

thursday: AAD at botanical i thought i would be like “idgaf get me outta here” but actually it was awesome HAHAHAH and the more i think about it, the more awesome i remember it in my head also how could it ever be bad working with jason

LM - 8

also here’s my search history from the past week; it made me laugh even though it’s not funny

friday: mobile route chill finished at 8:42, then put everything away (i forgot my pickup stick at prentiss because i set it on the ground to wash it and then was in a rush to leave because moped man whose moped that i parked next to told me that his wife was about to leave and needed me to move slightly forward because i was blocking the garage and i got all flustered and jumped in the truck and drove outta there) but uh. that’s. lost forever. maybe. most likely. i’m sorry. i forgot about it until i returned to st. mary’s and then i didn’t want to go back for it because. i’m sorry. i should have. after that i went to holly and pushed back the rosa banksiae and berberis wilsoniae(?) and ceanothus...weeping form... on the sides of murray entrance. it was good. i think it looks much more open. joyce said it’ll grow back within a week. after that we returned to st. mary’s and i hedged the small salvia cube in front of the rec center and also the ivy because that was on the to-do list. i did not plan my debris pickup well so i kept having to drive back and forth to the truck to dump my burlap out because bad at planning, and then stan jumped in to help me because i guess he was getting anxious about putting the toro away and also i was being inefficient.

LM - 6 IRR - 2 (coso)

after work i biked home via oshaughnessy because that’s what i do now also listening to mozart all day today ate some peanut butter and chocolate and then kale hardboiled egg (perfectly done; no greengray) quinoa ROASTED PEPPERS a million cups of milktea then rode out to race to reg via california to post (my old consulate commute) to kearny to sansome race to reg - allegedly came in 2nd women but who knows how many overall. somewhere between 20 and 30 most likely lol

now i sleep cuz i am tired

saturday: qcr