#anyway i will go cry myself to sleep now

[keep-dreaming-killjoys]

I just want to have this on my blog <33

#i will never be normal about this. #izzy. pls let me pin you to a corkboard 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 #anyway. stunning performance. gonna go and cry myself to sleep now #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 spoilers #ofmd

[demigod-of-the-agni]

A thing for @breakfastatmiles' dtyis challenge on instagram :)

Been a while since I drew the world's most favourite boy (like. almost a year ago???? uh woops) I wanted to draw something for Percy's birthday but alas I had no idea what to draw :'') consider this late Percy Jackson b'day art

Variants under the cut

#also stop i literally just realised one of the texture images i used has the fucking “stock photo” in it im literally gonna cry #praying to every god that yall never find it. and if you do.... exclusive pictures of dino agni :) #anyway i spent probably the whole day on this. my anatomy exam is tomorrow and i know jackshit #(convincing myself that it's okay i was using anatomy knowledge to draw percy lol haha hashtag in denial and sleep deprived) #i guess now i have to go back to finishing assignments.. #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson fanart #pjo fanart #pjo #myart #artoftheagni

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the picnic table scene

#this isnt going to make sense to literally any of you for a long time and im sorry about that #but FUCK was i writing this morning #man. man man man man Man the motivation Hit #this fic might get done after all... #i need. to go sleep. OUASGAHSAKJSNCADCLSKDVMS; #THEY MAKE ME INSANE THEY MAKE ME INSANE #YALL ALREADY KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT #THEY MAKE ME CRAZY AGH AGH AGH #ok. ok. ill sleep. and we'll see if the scene holds up when my brain is Refreshed #absolutely unprompted #throwing myself to the ground and howling #who do i need to BITE #oh 7 am me we're really in it now #literally getting myself too worked up. im. Emotional. i almost feel like tearing up #if that was something i could do lmao #fortunately crying does not come easily to me but in my heart im like. idk. Sobbing #anyway in order to calm down im gonna go think about something that makes me equally insane #which is the OG reason i designed a butterfly look for howdy. yass!howdy's origins <3 #slamming my face through drywall ok bye im off to crazyville where i can catch a layover to sleepytown

[slutdge]

Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.

#can anyone provide me guidance on this? ill bring it up with my therapist but i dont see her for another week #anyways im making myself cry late at night whats new lol ive been processing a lot this week #ok eta: and theyll always make you feel bad for this!!!!! #theyll be like ''ok so everyone has to bend to your commie regime to have a relationship with you 🙄'' #like yeah actually you do #if you really loved me like you claim to you wouldnt be FUCKING VOTING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY #yes you do have to respect my rights if you want to have a relationship with me that is completely reasonable #whats ACTUALLY unreasonable is you asking me to ''just get over'' the fact that yall support people who think i shouldnt have human rights #right wingers will try to gaslight you into believing basic human decency is an unattainable and torturous request #then when you get upset theyll be like ''god the left is so emotional 🙄'' #like yeah. i am. and you should be emotional too about human rights violations. the fact that youre not is pure evil. #anyways ill go cry myself to sleep like a faggot now #it just breaks my heart that i dont have any immediate family members who dont blatantly hate me for being queer/first nations

[falldogbombsthemoon]

Yall haha, my dad made it so I have wifi access for one hour a day. which I can use from like 14 to 21 german time. So once my mobile data is dead, I will not be active that much ig. So please dont think I'm abandoning yall.

#vent following #its fucking ridiculous. im not a fucking child. neither is my brother #no idea what my dad wants to achieve through that. “so you can relaxe more” yeah no. being on the internet is my fucking coping mechanism. #there is nothing about relaxation there. also he did that so we'll to go sleep earlier. if it really was about that. #he would need to force me to sleep. you cant just change my sleep schedule by that #anyway its fucking ridiculous as i was on a good way of getting to sleep more early but if imma do that now he will think like #“wow. im such a good dad. i fixed all the problems my child could possibly have.” which is absolutely not the case #yk. ive always fucking struggled with feeling like people cant trust me. #and him not trusting my abilities to be responsible for myself is not helping #and then boom. im feeling shitty but wait haha my coping mechanism is currently set offline. #and like also im in extra stress atm bc school is fucking with me #not only are like a bunch of tests on the way but my fucking anxiety in school is getting so bad. #i cant sit in that facility without feeling like imma have a panic attack any minute #i am in need of fucking professional mental help. and at least one diagnosis. i dont want to do shit to myself. #but in this house hold. emotions are not talked about. feelings are suppressed and mental health is an illusion #i NEED to see a fucking psychiatrist. but i dont feel like i can to my parents about that. and technically i could go without them knowing #but someone needs to educate them. and i mentally cant be that someone #and guess whos sitting in their room crying and writing about that rn. not studying for their tests tomorrow and the day after. #i bet if my parents wouldnt have done that shit with my wifi i would be studying rn #quinns daily yapping post #rather #quinns personal hell

[imperpetuallylost]

kinda crazy but…

im gay for you

:o no way i’m also gay for u <3

#also i’m fucking exhausted it was a long ass day of robot #i broke down crying for no reason in the middle of my last tech interview for drama #because i was so fucking stressed abt hosting the robotics comp this weekend and waiting on college decisions #and also two of my friends were like in the hospital at the time #one bc they hadn’t eaten in like a week because of an ed and we’re doing really badly #and the other because they had to get stitches bc of sh #but i couldn’t really explain alllll of that to my drama teacher #anyway #i did hear back from one of the schools tho!!!!! and i got in!!!!!! #but they didn’t give me as much money as i would have needed to commit there #so like i probably won’t end up going even tho i really loved the school and it’s kinda my top choice #and also the accepted students days all conflict and i ended up signing up for one that would mean id miss the end of district champs #for robotics if we qualify #which my hopes are vaguely high this year #but now i’m gonna have to miss part of it if we do :///// #and the other more competitive one i’m waiting on hearing from some time this weekend i’ve been checking the portal like every twenty minute #it’s really bad #anyway i’m gonna go take a shower and then go to sleep before i drive myself to another breakdown #idk why the tags of this ask was my place to say all of this but it sure was

[miallurk]

In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!

#i am losing my sanity day by day #drowning myself in the nearby lake seems better and better every day #why am i even writing this i have literally no mutuals or even people who'd care about #don't mind me crying myself to sleep haha #ooooh look at this pathetic baby. sitting in their little bed crying stupid tears. i should at least get tissues now while my crying isn't #fuck history fuck school and fuck me i quess #am i gonna start treating this as an actual blog and make a sideblog for reblogs? who knows! certainly not me; stay tuned for the story! #i'm gonna go and just let it all out into a pillow #vent ig #my mom is blasting holiday music in the other room lol #nice to have a whatever the fuck im having while “jingle bells” plays #at least i'm not hearing mariah carey ig #anyway i've probably hadn't been taking care of myself lately it has been worse despite me promoting it to everyone who needs #when i vented last time and it wasn't taken seriously so woop #anyway imma go try to calm myself and back to my notes i go #please gods what did i do to deserve thi s shit. fuck you #i hate it here i really do. i hate when these people talk to me i hate them. i at least can be sorta accquaitances with one but they just. #all stare and laugh? i actually can't. like i'm some fucking clown and laughing stock. just kill me at this point. i have been enduring this #for YEARS and suddenly i'm being a little bitch about it?? what the fuck. why am i so mushy all of a sudden. being shown an ounce of respect #and care made me expect it more? fuck #i'm just setting myself up for failure. i am just a giant loser and failure of a person. #everything seems so fucking hard. and pointless. i am tearing my rotten little heart apart with this. i am once again grieving things #long ago and things i never had. my everything has to be pleasing to an outsider #my value is my suffering. am i breaking enough? is this beautiful to look at #at my self destruction? i hate myself. i treat others so cruelly. i am a horrible fucking person. #my problems are not their burden - i forced it on them. wept like a baby because she left me. and what happened in the end? my paranoia got #to me. i left them. i fucking. i fid the thing i was afraid of being done to me. #this is showing so many issues. #so many things wrong with me. i shouldn't even be alive by this point - i wasn't supposed to survive past 12 #i am being forced to do this every day. someone please just end my fu king suffering

[sleepy4ever33]

My lights are broken :(

#not to be dramatic but if something else surprise messes up my plans this week I will riot (read: cry) #anyways tomorrow no classes so I get to sleep in!!! :D #Also I left today at 8pm to hang out with friends and I got back to my dorm at 2 am lmao #gonna go back to obsessively making lists to comfort myself now

[justablah56]

damn I miss playing wolves in my friend's back yard .... rb to play wolves with your mutuals in their back yard<3

#just blahs #i dont really think this needs any other tags sbhsjsjs #but i am going to kinda vent in the tags still feel free to rb this tho :] #i miss my friend tbh #she was my best and only real friend for like 3 years and then she moved away and now we only talk 2-3 times a year #and i dont.... know how to change that #i just want my best friend back #but i dont want to seem clingly because what if shes moved on ? #what if shes gone and shes doing just fine where she is now and she doesn't miss me like i miss her #what if shes perfectly content with me just being someone that she talks to a few times a year #meanwhile i have nights that i literally cry myself to sleep because i cant just go see her #she doesnt know that i want so badly to turn 18 just so that i can move to the same state and maybe live near enough that i could see her #and i dont think i can tell her that because what if she doesn't care that much. #what if im being ridiculous and i should be over our friendship that should have ended the moment she moved years ago #that i should have just moved on and it's weird that i haven't #anyways sorry for the vent in the tags of my silly goofy post #mutuals come play wolves with me in my backyard <3

[warriorsatthedisco]

Man I used to sympathize people with chronic illness, but now I can really empathize. This shit sucks and it has the worst snowball effect too.

#helped my friend with her art booth at a con this weekend and it wasn’t even like a ton of work but it fucking exhausted me so much #I think I pushed myself too far because I also got sick and now I feel like shit and I’m so so so tired #and of course this is with steroids. like the drug that gives you energy to do shit and I’m barely functioning at work #I’m going to up my dose to 30mg bc the doctor said I could. cause even at 20 I’m still getting crohns symptoms #nothing like picking up groceries and feeling sudden impending doom where you have to get to a toilet as soon as possible #and then being so tired from just picking up groceries that you don’t have energy to make food #so you just lay in bed but you can’t sleep because you’re in pain and it’s hard to breathe from this stupid cold #this cold shouldn’t be kicking my ass but of course my steroids are immunosuppressants so it’s like I have fucking Covid #(I don’t have Covid) #and then crying because even on the steroids I still have to follow this stupid miserable diet because apparently #my body just fucking hates all good food #including goddamn rice #RICE! #not to mention the fact that prednisone can make your vision bad and it’s been making it hard for me to read even with my glasses on #and the foot cramps. idk what that’s about but I’m drinking so much water and taking supplements #anyways. rant over. hope I can work tomorrow. I accidentally slept thru my alarm today and was an hour late #personal

[yanankim]

#unirevival week 1: the moment you got into pentagon

↳ Pentagon explaining the five pillars of a pentagon on Before School Club :)

#pentagon #unirevival #uninet #kflopc #kpopccc #kpopco #maleidols #ray.gif #10 #i cant even think abt tagging rn bc im absolutely sobbing my eyes out #mommmmmmm i miss themmmmmm :(((((((((( #this was THE first video of them i saw iirc and i was immediately smitten #like i used to watch asc for jamie but they just stole my heart in those short 7 minutes #i had to look them up after the show and i was enamoured with their entire album i was obsessed right away #and this was before i knew any korean whatsoever so the fact that they were able to hook me in like that is a testament their power #anyways im gonna go cry myself to sleep now

[madeimpact]

Younger Noct: I'd rather warp directly into the ocean than be sincere about my feelings

The Crystal business meeting with Bahamut: hi

Noct:

Noct: Never mind I need these guys to know how much I love them and I need them to know right fucking now.

#dude i can't even go back and rewatch the last camp scene to check myself #and make sure i'm not writing noct too mushy at this point #because I WILL BUST LIKE A FUCKING DAM!!!! #IT'S STILL FRESH FOR ME LOL #the moral of the story is to always tell the homies u love them #anyway i'm gonna cry myself to sleep now that i've reinflicted the ending pain on myself LOOOOOL /LH #❛ ooc: shut up neg.

[mountinez]

i won't let anyone complain about what i post here once i had to see 16252736 posts praising and celebrating man city this weekend and i didn't say a thing or complained about anyone. so... just for you to know.

#and don't get me started on the ships i despise and i'm always seeing on my dash because moots >> shipping #but anyway idk how long i'll be this nice honestly #i'm so mad lately and soft blocking quite easily #i see something that triggers me enough and boom sb #not interested in numbers it was never my thing here #ok now i'm going because i need to rewatch grave of the fireflies and cry myself to sleep

[iero]

Let it be known that one of my absolute worst flaws is I am a huge, HUGE homebody... At 29 years old... 

#personal #Rant in the tags but I just feel like letting this out... #I'm home for only the next eight hours and then I'm heading out for Pittsburgh. #And I'm already feeling like... homesick almost even though I'm still here in my house? #It's like... My body is SOO used to the normalcy of how I live that now that I'm breaking it I'm just NERVOUS. #I was so excited up until today when it went and hit me that it's tomorrow that my fight or flight kicked in. #It also doesn't help that I haven't left my area since the My Chem shows last September and that ended badly... #<- That's not to say I think this will but I just... have not gotten out since last year. #Like again I'm so used to my 'work go home eat sleep' routine that I literally won't let myself have fun LMAOO #And when I say 'let myself have fun' I mean travel to anywhere too far. #And I do want to reiterate that I live in PA. Like I live four hours away from Pitt and that's not even that bad... #I'm like such a recluse it's pathetic... #And my mom called me 30 minutes ago because her and her boyfriend are going on THEIR vacation next week to the beach and I literally just #like... started crying after she hung up from telling me to have fun this weekend. #Anyway it's the Mental Illness innit? Like there is something seriously wrong with me El-m-ayy-ooo

[sensitivegoblin]

Damn I need to get teased within an inch of my life so that the stress can leak out of me please

#ramble #vent #gimmetag #I'm very very tense and stressed and need a hug #I'll try answering dms and anons I've missed I'm truly sorry that I suck so bad at that #I'm just tired but I'm too afraid to sleep #I'm being melodramatic but the statement stems from truth #I feel like such a loser but tickling/sex and Fortnite are literally the only things that make me feel better #I'm too depressed to do anjghing else my dad sucks all of my energy #I need to fall into a hug and sleep pls hmu volunteers😭 #I like sleeping around awake people that's when I sleep my best #YouTube videos used to fill that hole but now I just can't stop thinking of myself as such a loser #mt dad turned 60 and hes depressed and he thinks out loud so I'm hearing really depressing stuff #and nothing I do helps so I just have to soak up his pain and somehow wanna live to see 60???? #if you heard the carousal of stuff he repeats every breath that im with him you'd go crazy too #anyway im trying to get out of my frozen state so o can take pills and masturbate and cry lmao #FUCK I NEED A REAL HUG😭

[catastrxblues]

good morning it is now 4 am and i have just finished watching atonement good night

#atonement #next tags are just going to be personal rants ignore that #i couldn’t sleep at all so i tried reading s&b and then fanfics and then the bell jar but it just didn’t hit #so then i tried writing but i just kept crying so i thought i’d watch a romance movie because yes #should’ve gone for four weddings and a funeral or pride and prejudice because what the hell is this #i didn’t know anything about this movie i just remember having it on my watchlist and saw ONE clip so i picked that help #and yes i ended up crying and the tears are still here but i’m also starting to think that that’s not entirely because of the movie at all #i stripped my bed off its sheets because the bright color annoyed me and it was already peeling off anyway and i was too lazy to put it rig #and when i pulled back from the screen after the movie finished and just look at how bare my bed is and how i’m in the middle of them #i just started crying again #and my legs are aching and i hate myself and i think i want to take a shower but maybe i’ll wait later on #i don’t think i’ll sleep at all honestly i’m not sleepy anymore #besides i’m thinking of going outside today just at the park i don’t know doing something #i always sleep really really late lately because my parents are out of country right now and no one is keeping me checked and i apparently #still can’t take care of myself. cried about that too it was something. why am the eldest daughter i’m so not fit for it #and then i always wake up at like 9 am and it’s already too late by then that i just never do anything productive #and it’s like i’ve been living in a simulation and i’m kinda going crazy and insane but it’s okay because today is going to be better #i hope because i’m not getting any sleep and i can finally go outside at 7 in the morning instead when it’s already way too hot #damn this is supposed to be one of the best years of my life??????? fuck off #also i can hear the azan subuh from the mosque by the neighborhood and i miss praying honestly #it’s so funny because i was happy to get my period because that meant i wouldn’t have to wake up so very early on in the morning #but i miss it now #hopefully my period will end soon #nadirants