#anyway i'm enjoying saber

[mmikmmik]

Mei fought for her life to give Luna a personality. she was in the trenches. she swam upstream for a mile. Mei was asking her about herself. she was asking about her interests. she was asking about her motivations and desires. Mei tried to drag a personality out of Luna with her bare hands and then the writers turned Luna into a book. smh!!!!!!

#what if women were real. i believe #anyway i really enjoyed saber and i'm glad i watched it #saber is truly a misshapen freak of nature but it stumbled across the finish line without ever fully stopping <3 #the themes never really cohered but there were some truly awesome scenes and the characters were really likeable. + there was so much angst #AND THERE WAS DESAST!!!! #my tokusatsu tag

[spicymancer]

So just wanted you to know, "yellow" is a common slur against Asian Americans and so Huang Feng, being a Bruce Lee (whos an Asian man) clone and all could raise some eyebrows to your intentions. And before i get accused of white knighting, i am Asian

Thanks for reaching out! This is honestly something that might be important to discuss and I appreciate your attempt at broaching the subject delicately. More after the jump.

So to start. I am also Asian. Specifically Chinese American.

As an American born Chinese, I have a weird relationship with my Asian heritage. I have a bad accent when I speak Chinese and most of my upbringing and cultural understanding is very American and western-centric. So I have certain biases at play here that I fully acknowledge. My experience is not universal. But these characters are drawn from that experience.

Huang Feng is a reference to Bruce Lee's performance as Kato in the Green Hornet. Dà Huángfēng being a Chinese term for a hornet.

The character is also narratively implied to be a secret moonlighting identity for the Yellow Ranger in my made-up sentai team. (Who, due to my own decision to always refer to the characters by their Ranger color, is literally just called Yellow by the other members of the cast.)

This is also a reference. Specifically to one of my greatest inspirations, Thuy Trang (Rest in Peace), who played the original Mighty Morphin Yellow Ranger. She was one of the first "Cool Asian Characters" that I encountered in media targeted at me as a child, problematic color choice aside. I sincerely adored her and her giant robot Saber-Toothed Tiger.

To be honest I have a complicated relationship with "Asian Themed" characters in media. So often saddled with cliché stereotypes: Martial Arts, dumplings, nunchucks, etc etc.

But the thing is, even as I roll my eyes whenever I see the Fighting Game character that is The Chinese One who wears a rice hat and a qipao. Or when one is literally just Bruce Lee. I do also immediately main that character. It's a bit of a guilty pleasure. Taking what representation I can get with mixed feelings. Similar to my enjoyment of sexy anime girl art even though it's all rooted in pretty uncomfortable sexist and objectifying aesthetics. A lot of my work comes from a place of exploring my own sexuality/identity. These characters are, partly, my own attempt to explore Asian themes and ideas for myself.

I would love to say that I'm trying to "reclaim" the term or something but I'm just some internet artist drawing cute anime girls and monster smut. For me, playing with these clichés is just another way of being self-indulgent.

Not really defending these creative choices so much as explaining my perspective on them. I totally understand if all this turns folks off! I fully respect those who don't vibe with my work and wish them all the best. It's a big internet and I'm sure they can find something super great to enjoy elsewhere!

Anyway, sorry for the long rambly post. Despite the fact that I'm posting this on Tumblr, I am not super mentally equipped to engage in Discourse, so forgive me if I don't respond to the tags on this.

So I'll just leave y'all with a neat article by Kat Chow discussing the history and usage of the color Yellow in regards to Asian Identity.

#oc questions #discourse cw #I love and appreciate all of you

[brailsthesmolgurl]

1 YOU, 1 ME

This is a one-shot request by one of the lovely readers of mine, enjoy this one :) Although I must say, this brings me back to the days when I used to be suicidal, so the experiences of mine are translated into the form of reader's POV so that you would get to take a trip of what I had dealt with as well. Just as my other one-shot Delirious, I do not take mental health as to be a joke. I am here for you if you needed someone to talk to, just like how I know you would be supportive of my works. I would do my best to cater to you as well because YOU MATTER <3.

Warnings: Deals with HEAVY Topics, Depression Mentions, Heavy Angst but yes to fluff. Please please please refrain if you are easily influenced by such topics.

XAVIER

When you had arrived at HQ today, Captain Jenna had approached you, handing you a file and informing you about the location of the wanderer as per usual. You studied the file, the wanderer looking like a saber-tooth, with fangs that could definitely pierced through skin like paper. "Good morning." You directed your head upwards and your partner stood by the side of your desk, a smile on his handsome features as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Good morning Xavier." You handed the blue file to him and he took it, opening up the page and started reading through the details just like you did. "This should be a relatively easy mission. You ready for it?" He gently placed the file onto your desk and he waited for you to get up, before walking at the same pace as you to get to the basement parking.

Xavier is wearing his white suit today, the silverish-blue garters an accessory that also serves as a tool. You can tell that he had a good sleep last night given that his blazer was pressed and there is barely a crease on it. Regardless, crumpling of clothings would be normal anyways given the dynamic range of movements hunters have to do to kill a wanderer.

The mission had ended early just like every other time. Your pairing is known to be the best due to the compatibility of Xavier's light evol and your Resonance evol, hence it is an added advantage when it comes to dealing with wanderers. Him dealing damage to one of the wanderers and your evol resonates the same act of his, inflicting damage upon other wanderers without you touching them.

"Shall we go and get something to eat?" Xavier asked you, readjusting his garter and wiping off some of the dried crusts of a wanderer's bodily fluids off of his shoulders.

You flicked your hand, your weapon disappearing on call and you looked over to him. "It's alright. I am a little tired. I'm just gonna head home for the night." You turned and started heading towards the direction of your parked motorcycle, the moonlight only being your source of lighting.

"Wait, don't wander around alone." His warned, footsteps catching up to yours effortlessly. "You might get lost in this forest you know."

Your lack of comeback made him ran his palm across the back of his neck out of embarassment. If only you are still interested in his facial features, then you might just be able to catch sight of him blushing bashfully. "My bike's here. I'm gonna head off. Enjoy your meal." You did not give him any time to revert the same to you. You just hiked up onto your bike and rode off into the night.

The same situation happened for a couple more times, till he got used to it. You would appear for missions, complete it and then you would leave. Just like how he did last time when you first met him but now the tables have seemingly turned. He watched you as you tried to control your breath after the wanderer was defeated. This time it was a huge creature, with a large tail lined with huge spikes that could kill with one swipe and it took the both of you a bit more time than usual to defeat it.

"Hey, y/n, do you---" He walked closer to you, leaning down to get a better view of your hidden face. The long hair of yours a brunette curtain.

"No Xavier, I am fine." You assumed he was going to ask you out for dinner but you were quick to reject, not wanting to add on to anymore complications. "I just needed some time to myself."

"I was meaning to ask, if you are okay?" He stopped for a tad bit. "Is everything alright?"

Your nod was curt but his frown is becoming more prominent by every added minute. "I can tell something is wrong y/n."

"Perhaps I have not been getting enough sleep recently." You dismissed him, walking towards your bike with him following behind you in quickened footsteps. "But I can assure you I am fine."

"But, you barely come to HQ and you have been excusing yourself from dinner with me after missions. Your reason for the past few times have only been 'I am fine' and 'I am tired' which is what's concerning me." He came up to you, obstructing you from getting onto your motorbike.

"Xavier." Your voice lowered. "I just want to go home and rest." With your tone, the blondie gave up, sighing and stepping aside to let you get onto your bike and he watched as you revved your engine and darted off into the embrace of the darkness.

┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✧

The rings of your doorbell beckoned you to get up and off of your couch, the drama on your television turning into white noise in the back. Not that you were actually watching it anyways, the screen was on but your mind was floating elsewhere. This time however, you did not falter into your state of guilt, rendering you a chance to actually sit in still silence. You are admittedly taken aback at the sound of your doorbell ringing as you do not have any visitors checking in anytime soon including Tara. You took your time to get to the door, not even bothering to check the peephole and you swung open your door.

Here he is now, in front of your door, looking down at you from his towering height, with a casual outfit and a pizza box in his hands. Yes, he did pretended he was the pizza man just to get you to open up the door for him. Now he also knows that the peephole is just a decoration for your door.

The sight of you however, made his jaw dropped mentally. Your arm was littered in cut marks, in different shapes and depth, but the crusting of the scabs tells him that this had happened a couple of days ago. You nervously pulled your sleeves down to hide your scars, making intense eye contact with the ground. It did not hit you for you to cover your scars as to a stranger, they would care less of what happens behind your doors. But maybe much of a dismay towards Xavier. He occupied himself within your door frame and you staggered backwards.

"What's wrong?" He placed the pizza box onto the shelf next to him and he gently took your arm, pushing the sleeve up. Your hiss made him halted his actions, eyeing you for a further reaction before he spoke. "Why did you do this?"

"I..." You could not make up any words, tears gathering at the back of your eyes. The guilt flowing its way through your system instantly. It was like you lost all of your control and succumbed to your emotions. The emotions that you were so scared of showing to anyone. Especially to Xavier. With him being your partner, and your crush. You did not want him to report this to the team, and you certainly do not want him to think differently about you. "I...I was scared..." Your fist tightening. "I didn't want to lose anyone else like how I lost Tara."

Ever since that day you found out about Tara's death, you got lost. Blaming yourself was the only viable way for you to forgive yourself. She was stuck with some rookie to go and defeat a wanderer on the day you had called in sick. It was that specific mission with the inexperience rookie that got both her and the rookie killed.

Yes, it has nothing to do with you but it also has EVERYTHING to do with you. What if you did not report in sick that day? Maybe things would have had a better turn? And maybe, just maybe Tara would be able to pull through till you arrived on the scene? You remembered, the way she stared at you as she laid on the battlefield, blood oozing out of all of her orifices. Her eyes a window to her soul, opened but lifeless. As if she died hoping you could have arrived on time.

Xavier said nothing, his breaths slow and steady. Approaching you, the blond haired man pulled you in by your waist, his grip solid. You had sunken into the hole of self-blame, rotating around a death circle and at this point, Xavier could do nothing but to tell you that he is here for you, through his actions. "It's not your fault that she lost her life, y/n. Please don't blame it on yourself. I am sure Tara would not want you to do this to yourself either." He slowly lifted your arm up, analysing the wounds. They are skin deep but not deep enough to damage your skin permanently but he had to wash this and wrap this up quickly before it evolves into a nasty infection.

"I just couldn't stop myself Xavier. It hurts so much in my head that physical pain is the only way to relief it." You croaked with your dry throat. "I just felt so sad you know. Like it really hurts my heart. I don't know what is this feeling." After the first few hours of you losing Tara, you experienced nausea and headaches. Then comes the crying and the grief and then to the self-blame. You had read up about mental pain being able to manifest itself into physical pain but you were too ignorant of how severe this may be. So severe to the point that you had to result to self-harm to remind yourself of the pain you had to go through because of your carelessness. Leading you towards the bathroom, the boy was careful in his words and steps. "I believe this is what one would call grief. It hurts so much mentally that it hurts you physically as well. In this case, you have to hurt yourself to relieve the pain and I think it is time for you to meet a psychiatrist y/n." He sat you down onto the toilet seat and took out the medical kit from your cabinet. His words gave you the confirmation of what you had read about being factual. Kneeling down, he seeked for your confirmation with an alcohol pad in his hand.

When you nodded, he dabbed the pad across your arm and you bit onto your lips harshly to stop yourself from screaming out in agony. You do not deserve to scream as you had done this to yourself. His pause made you look at him. "You do not have to hold back. If it hurts, you can scream. If it hurts, you can cry. If it hurts still, you can talk to me." His eyes were sincere, the cerulean orbs a vast ocean, inviting you to be within his embrace as he opened up his arms to you.

And you fell, straight onto your knees and you grabbed onto his shirt, the blood crusts on your sleeve staining his shirt in the progress but the both of you could care less. You needed a good cry while he knows that you needed comfort. "It's alright y/n, I am here for you. I will always be here for you." His fingers ran through your hair, tucking some stray strands behind your ear, your body shook with every sob you took. "I just need you to know that regardless what happens, you can always tell me. I will never leave you alone, I can't bear to see you in this state because I love you." His sudden confession halted your cries for a moment, staring up at him with the ugliest look you got.

At this moment, you really wished that you could take any other days to hear his confession rather than hearing it from him when you are in such a vulnerable state. Seriously, who would want to get a confession when they are having a break down and they have tears and snot streaked on their face as part of their 'makeup'?

"You are saying this because you pity me, don't you?" You were ready to pull back, a slither of embarassment passed your expressions. "I do not need your pity."

"I do not pity you, y/n. In fact, I had always been admiring you for the things you do. You had uphold yourself well despite you are struggling so much. I really do like you and no matter what I will always be here for you." He reinstated his point and you grabbed hold onto his neck, crying even louder, strained voice echoed through your bathroom.

"I thought, I really thought I would have to deal with this all by myself. I can't, I never know that I am this weak." Your cries a reflection of your sadness and your relief, knowing that you can finally put your heart at rest, not having to deal with the grief all alone like how you always done it to yourself. Xavier placed his hand under your chin again and you looked up into his eyes of blue, with him leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips. The death cycle shall come to an end.

ZAYNE

You tapped your feet onto the tiled floor impatiently. Clack, clack, clack. If anyone were to be within your vicinity now, your tapping against the floor would definitely be another added on frustration towards their state. Eyes darting everywhere, focusing on one thing to another. The door in front of you still remained tightly shut. The smell of antiseptic a constant fragrance within the hospital and you were about to get a headache.

You are up for your monthly routine check-up and meeting Zayne has always been nerve-wrecking, not because your heart is desperately trying to jump its way out of your chest and to give Zayne a hug, but it is also because you would like him to examine your brain as well. You figured something has been wrong with you mentally recently, after Tara's death to be exact. You get hot flashes at night, waking up at ungodly hours and sometimes, just sometimes, you would just want to lie in bed all day and not wanting to do anything, let alone eating.

You could not pinpoint exactly what was going wrong until the day you woke up from a nightmare, your chest tightened in a way you had never experienced before. Your breaths short and rushed, but no air was going into your lungs. Your throat had constricted airflow as well, choking you till your tears are being squeezed out of your eye sockets. It was until you had to scratch your arm till you bleed then you only regained consciousness, your breathing slowed, airways opening to welcome the fresh breaths of air that you were restrained from. You thought it was an allergy reaction for a moment but you were sure none of the allergies would get you to paw through your arm, breaking the skin barrier and seeing crimson red to replace the pain you had felt a while ago. Something is clearly wrong.

You had chose to wear a loose sweater today, not wanting to reveal your so-called battle scar to random strangers. Not wanting them to judge you for 'Im so emo, I hurt myself to be cool and I preach that battle scars are a sign for me fighting for my life in everyday society'. You can hear that in your own head, slowly succumbing into a state of blurred vision as you lowered your head, your vision darkening. "It's your turn." The familiar voice brought you out of your own reverie. Another shadow loomed over your hunched body, with straight shoulders and what seemed to be an outline of a long coat, you knew it was Zayne.

"Yeah." You stood up slowly and followed behind the cardiologist into his room. As usual, you took a seat next to his desk, the padded seat warm to your bum. A knob twisting, in suit with a locking sound, it marks the start for your checkup session. The room was filled with tension, as Zayne ran his stethoscope down your back, listening cautiously to your heartbeat as you took in deep breaths. The man's eyebrows were furrowed, eyes narrowed as if your heartbeat had an arrythmia. "What is it?" You asked, noticing that the listening session of his is unusually longer then usual.

"It seems like your heartbeat is slower. And there were slight staggers of arrhythmia on your right atrium. I should run some bloodtests and perhaps get an MRI scan on your heart as well." He retracted the stethoscope away from your back and walked to the front of you, fingers scooped your chin up and you looked at the man in front of you now. Standing tall, with broad shoulders that could be spotted underneath the bulky medical coat of his. He is in his blue scrubs today, perhaps a surgery aligned earlier on and he did not have much time to change out of it.

He took a small flashlight the shape of a pen out of his coat and he leaned down, a waft of his cologne hitting your nose. Minty fresh with a mix of antiseptic, that is what he smells like on the days he has a full schedule ahead. You peeled open you eyes wider and he flashed the light into your pupils, his hazel green orbs in an uncalled staring competition with you. "Pupils are functioning well as usual, but I do realise some redness at your whites. Have you been getting enough sleep?" A slight hint of him caring for your quality of sleep went away as fast as it arrived.

"I...Actually..." Your lips froze, words forming at the tip of your tongue but you could not roll out any of them. It was like your brain was subconsciously begging you not to tell Zayne, in order to not ruin his impressions of you being a healthy individual. He is a doctor, what harm would that cause if you were to tell him that you had been experiencing some mental issues these past few days? Perhaps he would just throw you some medical facts, ask you to drink more water and you should feel better in a day or two.

Then you recalled when your grandmother had passed, he did not show any bits of sympathy towards you other than passing on the box that was left behind by your late grandmother. He did not even ask if you were doing alright when you sat right here in his office, trying so hard to hold those choked sobs back. The thought of him not showing any sympathy towards you during the loss of your grandmother gave you the ultimate decision that you will not reveal anything to him. "I had been sleeping late these days because of paperwork."

The doctor sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, the glasses sat comfortably at the bump he has on his nose. "If its so, try not to procrastinate in the afternoon and actually do your paperwork instead of rushing them all at once in the middle of the night." His sound advice not a bit helpful to your fib. "You wearing a long sleeved sweater in the middle of summer would cause you to get a heat stroke, which would directly affect your heart as well. So I would advice you to keep cool whenever you can." He sat down in his chair, picking up a pen and started scribbling away on the prescription tab. "As for now, take these medications for your arrhythmia. Once the MRI is scheduled I will get the nurse to contact you to come in for the scan."

┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✧

"Y/n." Tap tap tap. "Y/n wake up." An oddly familiar voice drowned your hearing, your body lifted off of the floor by a force. "Y/n. Please wake up." The smell of antiseptic filled your nose and your eyes slowly opened up, the blinding lights above made it hard for you to adjust to your surroundings. Your name was called out again and you turned your head a little, catching sight of Zayne, his eyes slightly widened. He was staring at you as if he had seen a ghost. You could barely remember what happened. Ringing in your heads made you winced and the man pulled you tighter within his arms. Your face now against his hard torso. "What happened?"

You blinked your eyes a couple more times and you looked down. Blood pooled on your wooden floors, the wax layered on top of it preventing the liquid from seeping through. Your arms were streaked in red, the evidence clear as daylight underneath your fingernails. It probably happened again, did it? "I...I don't know." You responded weakly, your lips equivalent to sandpaper. "I don't know what happened."

Zayne pushed you back a little and he held your arm up by your wrist, eyeing over all of the bloody and deep scratches to search for a sign of infection. Perhaps, a sign for why would you do this to yourself as well. Zayne decided to come by your abode when you had missed out on your MRI appointment, him knowing that you would not purposely miss out on any medical appointments and even if you have to, you would at least have the decency to make a call to inform.

That day when you left the room, he noticed your charm was lacking, your retorts were non-existent, and your face was ghoulish. You struggling to tell him a piece of your mind, only to retract back and say that you fell asleep late due to paper work caught the doctor off-guard as well. But he is not the type to intrude, to ask you questions that you would not want to answer.

He came by, searching under your potted plants for the key and it was slotted right beneath the jasmine pot that he had given you as a congratulatory present when you got accepted into Unicorn. His heart inexplicably felt warm at the thought of you still caring for the jasmine till this day. He twisted the key into the doorknob and it clicked open, slotting himself right into your doorway and he looked through your apartment. It looked neat, but the lights were not turned on. He heard a loud thud and his footsteps reacted to it, carrying him across your living room and towards your bedroom.

Another thud, this time louder, echoed through your room and he opened the door hastily, immediately catching sight of your body, laying on the floor, jolting as if you were shocked by an invisible electric current. You are having a seizure, in a pool of blood that he could only assume belonging to you. He took three long strides and he was shocked to his core. Your arms were littered with long and narrow open wounds, the culprit being your blood stained fingers. Your eyes were flipped to the back of your head, veins popped out of your neck as one of your hand latched itself onto your forearm and yo dug deeper into your wounds. "Y/n!" He shouted, unbuttoning his sleeves and pushing them up his forearm and he dived down onto his knees to heave you towards him, away from the wall.

He immediately started doing CPR, going according to the beat as he switched between pumping your chest and blowing air into your mouth. The effectivity of the CPR started kicking in when your convulsions started to calm down, your body going from tensing to limp and you laid unmoving on the floor. He leaned down to get a good hearing of your heart. It is beating in a normal rhythm, a good sign that you are still alive. The arrhythmia is gone now but the soon-to-be scars on your arms is the next thing he worries about.

He did not understand, none of the theories he had studied about one's physicality applied. The heart arrhythmia, the sight of you convulsing on the floor, the hearings of your choked breaths as he watched you, the skin deep lacerations inflicted upon yourself only with the use of your fingernails. None of the symptoms matched any of his medical theories. i am not a doctor, pls dont chew me on this :,)

Unless it has something to do out of his field, which is the mental aspect. Zayne being a doctor, although succeeded at a relatively young age, but his expertise has always been within the field of cardiology. Of course he has friends within the psychological field, but it never struck him that you would end up with a mental illness. You had always been fit as a fiddle in his eyes, both mentally and physically. But all it takes is for two accidents in a row to trigger the mental illness for you. If its so, why did you not tell him anything about it? Why did you keep it all to yourself? He knew he should have said something, he should have stayed by your side when he found out about Tara's death. It was too short of a timeframe for you to be dealing with two deaths within a few months' gap.

"It's alright, you will be okay. Everything will be alright." He only remembered during one of the mental illness campaigns he was asked to attend, they taught of ways to identify individuals experiencing mental illness and very little was talked about how can one deal with someone who is having an episode. The speaker said something about acceptance, comfort and validation. And that is to the extent of what Zayne knows.

"Y/n, I need you to take in deep breaths, I need you to calm down." He could not treat her just like any other patient in this damn moment. This vulnerability of hers is new territory for him, but it shows that she is not as strong as she portrays herself to be and this part of her provoked him to want to be there for her even more than before.

"I don't know...I don't know why I am like this." You trembled in his arms, your head spinning and you felt like you were about to taste bile anytime.

"And it is not your fault, y/n." His voice is calm, soothing to your ears. You could feel his hot breath against the shell of your ear and you looked up at him, the lights above him forming an angelic halo. "It shall never be your fault." He pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I am sorry that I was never there for you. From now on, let me be there for you." Other than the kiss on your forehead being a shock factor, the fact he wanted to be involved in your life and your 'journey-to-recovery' made your heart skipped an extra beat. "I promise you, from now on, I will always be by your side, only when you want me to."

You lifted your hand up to touch his cheeks, your palm cold to the touch on his warm face. You swore you saw him blushed for a mere second. "Of course I would want you to be by my side Zayne." And he gave you a comforting smile. The man then slowly inched down, eyes looking between your eyes and lips. When you tilt your head upwards, he took it as your consent and you both shared the first kiss.

RAFAYEL

"Do you want that?" Rafayel asked you, index finger pointed right at a banana boat plushie. Two 'flavours' to be picked from, one with the usual chocolate, vanilla and strawberry theme while the other has a caramel, vanilla and banana theme. You were about to pick for the latter but the man standing beside you was quicker in calling out shots. "I think the original one would fit you better. The colour theme just looks more harmonious than the other."

You watched as he picked up the dart and aimed it towards the target. He pulled his wrist back and with a flick, the dart landed onto the target's bullseye. The stall owner did not look a bit amused, probably thinking that he could scam Rafayel enough money for a meal. Walking over to the banana boat plushie, the guy took it down and handed it to Rafayel over the counter. "Thanks." You smiled, hugging the plushie when he gave it to you.

"Where is my hug?" Rafayel looked betrayed, the signature pout of his surfacing. "I was the one who scored you Mr.Babana here." Yes, he called it Babana. Smiling, you went over to him, arms opened wide and you hugged him, your head settling right into his chest. He smelled of grapefruit and white wood, with a splash of peach as the base. You thought he only used one perfume for all types of events as he has voiced his dislike for strong smelling scents but you were clearly wrong. Musky smelling ones for when he attends interviews, fresh smelling ones for when he attends events, and sweet smelling ones are only reserved for his outings with you.

His chin was propped right above the top of your head, and he smells fresh shampoo. You nagging him about how sakura composites are good for the hair recently is enough for him to know what shampoo you are currently using. To Rafayel, you are not that hard to decipher. In fact, you may be one of the most uncomplicated character he had ever met in his life. Your genuine emotions and expressions a direct reflection to your conscience and that is exactly why he likes you.

"Thank you for the Mr.Babana." You chuckled, pulling away from the hug but his arms remained on your shoulder, he would have opted to hold your waist but he wanted to make sure that you would not be uncomfortable in this situation.

"My pleasure of course." He mimicked your smile and this time, the both of you took a step back from each other and then walked down the path together. The cobblestones beneath your shoe reflecting the lights from the parade, painting them in all sorts of colours that offers more variety than a rainbow. "Y/n, I have to travel abroad tomorrow to attend one of my exhibitions. So, I was wondering once I am back from my business trip, would you like to go out with me again?"

Him informing you about the business trip made you hesitant to answer him. Not because you did not want to go out on a date with him again. You just did not want to be alone. Not when you had just lost a friend to a wanderer. All of the smiles you had presented today are genuine, but deep down, you were worried your remorse would eat you up and ruin the whole date for today. The last thing you want is for Rafayel to be on the receiving end for your breakdowns.

"I am waiting for a yes." You jolted at how close he is to your face, you could practically feel his breath against your skin. He smirked, taking a step back to give you some breathing space, hands tucked into the pockets of his black jeans. The young man today adorned a fitted black tshirt with a pair of jeans, pairing over it is a jean jacket. Simple outfit but definitely looks amazing on him.

"Y...yeah, of course we can Rafayel." You looked down, nervously trying to calm your hyped heartbeats. With that, the date between you two came to an end, with Rafayel fetching you home safely and making sure you got into your home before he drove off.

┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✧

Rafayel had left for his business trip for the past two days. And for the past two days, it can only be described as hellish for you. Jerking yourself off of your bed, you sat straight, eyes widened as cold sweat trickled down the back of your neck. Yet another nightmare, the same one every night. With the sight of Tara laying on the traylike bed in the morgue, awaiting for you to identify her. She was as pale as the walls surrounding her, her body laid rigid, and her eyes closed. It almost seemed like she was asleep but you knew right then and there, she would not be able to open her eyes anymore.

She had a wound the size of a bullet in between her eyebrows. They called it a fatality spot as anything that is sharp enough to penetrate that area and passing the skull would be guaranteed an instant death. Just like what Tara had gone through. The wound however, according to autopsy, was inflicted by something biological, so bullets are out of the question and the only answer you could think of is the act of a berserk wanderer. You kept trying to blink, assuming that if you blinked hard enough, Tara would be able to rise again and everything would be back to how it was like. But, that's not the case most of the time.

Instead of accepting her death, you chose to deny it. Ironic, your identification process of Tara in the morgue is validated but you yourself chose to not accept the reality of her death. You even refused to go to her funeral the day after tomorrow, claiming to yourself that it would only make you hate yourself more than anything else. You were not there when it happened as you were sent onto another mission, a much tougher one that involves civillians. So, Tara was assigned this mission, just to deal with a bunch of wanderers. Or so you heard, but her wound says otherwise. Whatever wanderer she had been dealing with is certainly way beyond what she could handle.

The date between you and Rafayel took place the day after her funeral so the wounds of your grief still remained fresh. With that stated analogy, the first few days of your denial marks the start of your wounds, freshly cut opened, breaking off the surface of the skin barrier but still not deep enough to leave a scar. Now you are in phase two, where blood starts seeping through the wound as it has broken through the skin barrier, cutting deeper. This is where the nightmares become more and more revolting, more and more realistic that you have a hard time differentiating between your trance and reality.

You buried your face into Mr.Babana and you cried like there is no tomorrow. You had to get it out somehow, and the best way you could think of is to cry yourself to sleep again and pray hard so that you would not have a continuation of the nauseating nightmare. When you opened your eyes again, you were met with the warmth of the sunlight peeking in through your window. Sunlight in general, is known to promote energy boosting for one's body but right now, it only did the opposite for you.

Your phone rang, drowning out the sounds of your ugly cries. Shimmying towards you bedside, you held up your phone and you saw the contact name 'Your Favourite Fishie'. You specifically recalled that you had saved his name under Rafayel, but when did it got changed? Maybe it was during that time when he was playing on your phone while his was charging and he seized the opportunity to change his name into something so ridiculous like this. You sniffled, trying to calm your breathing the best possible and you answered the call. "Hello." You croaked out. Shit.

"Hey, y/n. Did I happen to wake you up?" His voice came through the other side of the call. He sounded borderline concern.

"No, you didn't don't worry. I woke up to use the washroom." You spoke, if he were to be in front of you right now, he would be nagging you to speak up but thank goodness your phone has a good microphone to pick up your small volume. "How is your exhibition going?"

"Boooring." You can tell he was rolling his eyes to the back of his head. "That's why I am already on my way back. I will arrive in probably half an hour. So would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

Contemplating, you knew that if you were to meet him in 30 minutes, your puffy face would lead to a telltale sign that you had just cried. Then, you assumed that Rafayel would be disappointed with you. You see, Rafayel had never been the type to submit towards pressure, instead, he is a notorious rebel towards it. It is like he has something personal against stress. With your current status, you immediately felt like you are not worthy to be spending your time with him. Let alone having to have a huge crush on him. What makes you think that he would like you back if he found out about your current state of distress? He would definitely not want to deal with such an issue.

"Actually, today I am not free. I have stuffs to do." You gnawed onto your lip.

Pouting, the purple haired man crossed his legs nonchalantly, sitting himself comfortably in his luxurious car as Thomas drove it. "Like what stuffs?"

You panicked, eyes watery and you sniffled. "I have to go to the doctors. I am having a flu and I don't want to infect you."

Rafayel heard that sniffle of yours and he immediately replied. "Oh, alright. Then you rest well okay? There will always be some other day that I can bring you out for a nice dinner so you owe me that alright?"

"Yeah okay." And the call ended with him saying 'bye and take care'. Hanging up the phone, your lips quivered, chills ran down your spine as you started hesitating about whether you should still stay in contact with Rafayel. You could not possibly land him to be your boyfriend, where did the confidence come from? "I am just not worth it." Your cries then came back.

The next hour went by and you were laying in your bed the whole time, no will to move, no appetite, no will to even meet anyone. You just wanted to succumb to your loneliness, the sound of the fan is the only voice you can hear. The only company you have for now. You had just calmed down from your break down, your eyes full on puffy now and you are experiencing after-cries hiccups. Your mind had a constant voice, reminding you of just how useless you are not only at your job, but also your incapability to keep your emotions in check. Feeling overwhelmed, you curled into a ball and just allow the tears to flow.

The door to your room creaked open but it did not faze you. You were too caught up with the voices in your head but Rafayel's voice made you covered your ears. You are delusional now, great. Until a hand touched your shoulder then you snapped your head towards the source, met with purplish-blue eyes that were filled with utmost concern for you. "Hey, hey what happened?" He climbed onto your bed and sat right in front of you, his large hands cupping your small face, his thumb drew over your cheeks, dismissing your tears. "Why are you crying y/n? Did someone hurt you?"

Your silence marks the end of his questioning and he pulled you into his chest. His solid torso cushioning your head as he laid down with you in his arms, on top of him. "Shh, it's alright." Rafayel held you close to him. "I know things have been tough for you."

"We should stop meeting." Your desolating suggestion made him pulled back in shock, his eyes scanning your face for any smiles or hints of it being a joke but he did not find any at all. "I like you Rafayel, and I think this is not healthy for you."

"Who are you? The moral police? Who are you to determine what is healthy or not for me?" His eyebrows are furrowed in frustration. "Even if you want to push me away, you can't because I am in love with you y/n. I am so madly in love with you that I kept thinking about you everyday, everything that I see reminds me of you, every artwork that I inspect at the exhibition only related to you. So, you can't push me away, no matter how hard you try."

"But, whatever I am experiencing now, it makes me think I am not worth---" His finger silenced you, pressing it against your lips to ask you to shut up politely.

"Do not speak for me y/n. As much as I like to hear your voice, I do not want to hear such unflattering ideas from your pretty head okay?" He ran his hand down the sides of your cheek, his gaze loving. "I want you to know that, I will never let you cry alone, ever again. Do not worry about me being stressed out or anything about you not being able to be in control of your emotions. I am sure I can handle anything when it comes to you, for I had waited a long time for someone like you y/n. Annnnd I will not let something as simple as you going through a period of depression push me away. So, why don't you do me a favour and tell me what is going on in that pretty head of yours?"

His confession surely warmed your heart, with you staring at him in disbelief. You know he had always been showing signs of him being interested in you, but you never thought you would be able to catch sight of him being empathetic towards you. Your sobs came again, this time much more stronger and you leaned into him, spending the day telling him about everything that you had went through and ended up sleeping next to him. Rafayel propped himself up on his elbow and he watched your features, puffy and reddish but you did not lack your beauty amidst all of the chaos you have to go through. He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips, a promise to you that he would stay with you forever.

This is the end of this one-shot and sorry my lovelies, this will not be getting an extra episode or anything. It shall only be ending here :,)

P.S: These are part and parcel of my actual experiences, hence I do not downplay or look down on anyone who are struggling with mental illness. As I know it is very tough to get over it. The part where Rafayel had spoken to reader, where he would be by his side blah blah, was actually what my boyfriend told me when I was having a terrible panic attack. So please my girlies, do not settle for the bare minimum and lower your standards for a guy/gurl who could not be better for you. Because you all deserve happiness oki.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #rafayel love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #xavier love and deepspace #lnds #rafayel x reader #xavier x reader #zayne x reader

[shuttershocky]

Based on my (limited) experiences following the Type Moon fandom, it seems like there's such a wall between the fans of the "OG stuff" (mostly Mahoyo, Tsukihime, Kara no Kyoukai, FSN) and people who started with/also enjoy Grand Order, it looks like such a one sided thing where the fans of the older stuff tend to hate on FGO's writing and whatever it might have done to have done to Type Moon and Nasu's priorities, while the FGO fans just seem to enjoy the story while still being happy enough to support the OG stuff (Mahoyo/TsukiRe english release for example)

That incoherent wall of text is basically set up for me to ask what *you* think of FGO as someone who I imagine came from the older works. I'm curious about how you feel about the writing and stories in particular, from the arcs where Nasu started to be more involved (I haven't played them, but I believe it's Camelot?) since that's where I heard they started to get more elaborate. Do they live up to the experiences you've had with TM's other works?

Sorry for the long question, and I hope you have a great day!

Wow. I've been here for an incredibly long time if people no longer know about how much I used to play FGO.

Anyway, I would say what really sets FGO apart, not just from the rest of Type-Moon but even from other Fate works, is its scale, both in terms of the storytelling and its real life commercial value.

The hate you see many non-FGO playing TM fans have toward FGO is resentment towards how much it has simply taken up Type-Moon as a whole. The Tsukihime Remake was announced all the way back in 2008 and released in 2021 for example, partly because FGO taking off the way it did in 2015 meant it took up all their time and effort. They could not focus on anything else.

As their biggest moneymaker, it also began to warp the production of other works around it, as FGO had now become the main way by which people got into Type-Moon. Therefore, all things had to appeal to FGO fans in order to sell whether that was Fate/Extella Link pulling in FGO cast members like Scathach and Arjuna into the game, or Fate/Apocrypha's anime adaptation including as many FGO cameos as possible like Medea Lily (what was she even doing there lmao).

Of course, just adding FGO references doesn't automatically make something bad. Fate/Samurai Remnant for example has made fantastic use of FGO characters while mixing them in with new ones. However, you also get stuff like Melty Blood Type-Lumina having Saber, Ushiwakamaru, Dantes, and Mash all in the game while old fan favorite Melty Blood characters like Sion and Len are nowhere to be seen. You know that "Wi-fi is okay if you're close to the router" Melty Blood meme? That character Nanaya Shiki isn't even playable in the latest Melty Blood. When you see that and see not one, not two, but THREE FGO characters taking their place (Saber's a free pass), you'd see why there's a lot of resentment built up towards FGO by older Type-Moon fans.

As I said before, the difference isn't just in its commercial scale, but also in its creative one. Even in the most outlandish of settings, Type-Moon works are almost always smaller scale, character-centric pieces. Fate/Extra took place inside a supercomputer on the Moon, but it was about a glitch making an AI fight in a death battle between humans, and how that formerly blank AI feeling danger and wanting to live blurred the lines between what is human and what isn't. Tsuki No Sango (Coral of the Moon) was about a world 3000 years in the future, but the entire thing was a little space man in the palm of a girl's hand, listening to a love story about a man and a computer on the Moon.

For all its many similarities to previous TM works, FGO is still ultimately a save the world type of story. It starts with a demon destroying all of time, and then turns into a death game between entire timelines. It's big, it's bombastic, and it's instantly accessible, the kind of story structure you want to be able to fit the gacha format of an endless stream of new characters while keeping the ship steady with an overarching plot that lets you keep meeting an endless stream of new characters.

That's not really what I'm a TM fan for. I played FGO for its first 3 years, and once they brought out the Lostbelts I realized I was already satisfied and did not want to read yet another big world saving adventure plot all over again. I was pretty happy with how the first arc ended already, so my interest in continuing FGO shriveled up soon after.

Quality wise I'd say FGO is a very mixed bag, inevitable when FGO itself is a mix of very different writers (who themselves can be pretty inconsistent, Nasu included). Plenty of FGO chapters have also been cursed with subpar adaptations (looking at you, Camelot and Babylonia), further muddying the perceived quality of the stories.

I will say when FGO is bad, it's really bad (and often pretty racist), but when it's good, it's really good. For what I consider to be a mediocre baseline, FGO has some incredibly high peaks that rival the best in Type-Moon, and even when something is just okay execution wise (like Shimousa), some of the characters, concepts, and story beats are just so damn cool that they become intensely emotional and impactive all the same and inspire superior adaptations and follow up works (like Shimousa).

That being said, my favorite stories in FGO were the ones that would use much smaller scale, isolated adventures with a far stronger focus on characterization and emotional arcs that follow its thematic ones. Aeaean Spring Breeze is one of the best examples, being a tiny event about helping Circe move on from having been rejected by Odysseus in life, with some incredibly solid character work and a great understanding of how to mix the needs of a light-hearted comedy event with making genuine, emotionally compelling moments from a character that almost never speaks from the heart.

#in case I haven't made it obvious yet read the Shimousa Manga

[rae-pss]

SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF WHB CHARACTERS BUT THEY'RE ALL LOVE SONGS

masterlist

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . the poll i did in my other blog got majority of "yes", so here we're. damn, two of the songs are in spanish because i tend to listen more to them lately (🫠).

〔 SATAN 〕

nothing's gonna hurt you baby, cigarettes after sex

❝whispered something in your ear

it was a perverted thing to say

but i said it anyway

made you smile and look away❞

❝nothing's gonna hurt you baby

as long as you're with me you'll be just fine❞

〔 LERAYE 〕

so damn into you, vlad holiday

❝it started with a bang

don't know how you got me so messed up

but baby, i won't ever get enough, no❞

❝you're thunder filled with sexual tragedy❞

〔 ASTAROTH 〕

enjoy the silence, depeche mode

❝words like violence

break the silence❞

❝all i ever wanted

all i ever needed

is here in my arms❞

〔 LEVIATHAN 〕

una canción de amor, los rodriguez

❝estoy tratando de decirte que

me desespero de esperarte❞

❝no corras si te llamo de repente

o te vayas si te grito "¡piérdete!"❞

❝a menudo los labios más urgentes

no tienen prisa dos besos después❞

〔 BEELZEBUB 〕

sin documentos, los rodriguez

❝quiero ser el único que te muerda la boca

quiero saber que la vida contigo no va a terminar❞

❝déjame que te cierre esta noche los ojos

y mañana vendré con un cigarro a la cama❞

〔 ANDREALPHUS 〕

light shower, melanie martinez

❝you are the light i've been searchin' for forever

feels like, man, i've really never felt the rain❞

❝you cranked the heat up, i was cold, my past grew mold around my heart

and all my anger, sadness, regret, disappeared❞

❝i never once was treated right, you're what i'm missin' in my life❞

#— thoughts. #— what in “hell” is bad? #spanish language my beloved (🫶) #what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad? #whb #whb x reader #what in hell is bad x reader #whb leraye #leraye whb #what in hell is bad leraye #beelzebub whb #what in hell is bad beelzebub #whb beelzebub #beelzebub what in hell is bad #whb leviathan #leviathan whb #leviathan what in hell is bad #what in hell is bad leviathan #andrealphus whb #whb andrealphus #what in hell is bad andrealphus #andrealphus what in hell is bad #what in hell is bad astaroth #astaroth whb #whb astaroth #astaroth what in hell is bad #satan whb #whb satan #satan what in hell is bad

[blingblong55]

I HAVE A TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF IDEA WITH KÖNIG! a very shmol (like 4'6) y/n dancing to O Sol e a Lua (the sun proposed to the moon). Starts with könig finding y/n softly singing and dancing to it, the song coming from a speaker, and they drag könig into the room their in and dancing with him to it. Ends with one of the 141 boys finding them and recording it. PLEASE DO THIS I NEED IT DEEP IN MY SOUL! Also I'm feeling better, the fix you write helped alot. Love ya 💋💋

omg omg im in LOVE with this!!!I'm really glad my last one did some help...lots of love<333333 (translation at the end.)

this is what I think when I write abt sunshine reader and König.

gn! reader, fluff! König

Today was just a normal day at base. You were assigned to clean some of the equipment your team had been using. A few soldiers felt just..happy. So they asked around and eventually put music on. You happy sang along, as the low volumed song played around the room. König had his gun in hand, that's until he walked in and admired a scene I'm sure few in life get to experience. König and you being the few.

"O sol pediu a lua em casamento, E a lua, disse, Não sei, não sei, não sei, Me dá um tempo"

R/n quietly sang, their voice echoed around the room. By that point König had leaned against the door frame. Some soldier started dancing to your rhythm. You eventually looked up and smiled.

"Mas o astro rei, Com todos os seus planetas, Cometas, asteroides, Terra, marte, vênus, netúnos e urânos, Foi se apaixonar justo por ela, Que o despreza e o deixa esperar"

you happily continued, stopping what you were doing and danced around. Your eyes soon met König, who if it wasn't for his mask, his cheeky smile and red face would have told what words couldn't describe.

You started to dance his way, he put his hands up, "don't dance" he said, but you shook your head. Your small frame and his much bigger one complimented each other. "Join me big guy" you whispered. After very little struggle, you pulled him into the room. Your body and his dancing to the rhythm.

Your eyes looking up to his. This is the moment poets write about, he swore.

How jealous would they be, that me and r/n get to experience this, he thought.

"O sol sem saber mais o que fazer, Tanto amor pra dar, E começou a chorar, E a derreter, Começou a chover, e a molhar, E a escurecer" the speakers surrounded you two with its addicting words.

"Este é o nosso momento König" you softly spoke.

"isso é liebling" he responded. (yes...he understood and spoke Portuguese)

From afar, Soap captured the moment he swore the gentle giant of König and the kind hearted soul of r/n met, and had promised to not let go.

----

A/N: I have to admit I have now found a new favorite song...anyways I really do hope you enjoyed this depiction of my best requester<3

Tags: @g4y-gr3ml1n

Translation:

O sol pediu a lua em casamento E a lua, disse Não sei, não sei, não sei Me dá um tempo

(The sun asked the moon to marry him And the moon said I don't know, I don't know, I don't know Give me some time)

Mas o astro rei Com todos os seus planetas Cometas, asteroides Terra, marte, vênus, netúnos e urânos Foi se apaixonar justo por ela Que o despreza e o deixa esperar

(But the star king With all your planets comets, asteroids Earth, Mars, Venus, Neptunes and Uranus It was just falling in love with her Who despises him and lets him wait)

O sol sem saber mais o que fazer Tanto amor pra dar E começou a chorar E a derreter Começou a chover, e a molhar E a escurecer

(The sun without knowing what else to do So much love to give And started to cry and melting It started to rain and get wet and getting dark)

Este é o nosso momento König (This is our moment König)

isso é liebling (it is, darling)

REQUEST ARE OPEN

#könig #könig x y/n #konig mw2 #könig cod #könig modern warfare #könig mw2 #141 x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #cod x reader #x reader #request #cod 141 #cod #cod mw2 #mw2 #mwii #call of duty mwii #soap call of duty #soap x reader #soap x you #soap modern warfare #john soap mactavish #task force 141 #mw2 141 #141 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #modern warfare #call of duty

[marshmallowdarling]

heyyy uhh

I dont know how many reqs you have so I'll keep it short, dw! but darth vader (actually Vader; most ppl i've seen tag it as darth vader when its not, yk?😅) "reuniting" w/ a gn friend of his, but the reunion is them being captive 😀👍. like maybe the friend was captured bcuz he was hunting for jedis, or they were helping ppl escape and that backfired on them.

you're free to choose how his friend got captured cuz im just throwin ideas. so many scenarios lmao 😆😆😆

I'm finally back!!

So sorry for being away for so long and so sorry for taking so long to get to this request, I stopped writing it half way through the first bit and realised I might have fucked up the request but kept going anyways lol so sorry if it wasn't how you imagined!!

I tried making it a little more yandere at the end but I will 100% write a few head canons or more one shots after about how life would be after this if anyones interested!! :D

Remember my request are still open!!

✧3735 words ✧ Vader x Reader ✧ Sher/Her pronouns

Hope you enjoy bubs!

~Mwah!

(Y/N) never wanted to be a jedi, not really. She wanted to help people of course but did she really want this life?

Her question was answered after her dear friend Anakin died; no, she didn’t want this life.

She wanted a life of her own, to not have to train every day with multiple weapons, to not have to stress about every movement she makes. 

She wanted a life where she could sleep in, where she could just breathe and live and do mundane things, where she could make connections and love. 

But the force works in mysterious ways and after (Y/N) had grown up, settling down in a small town and having a small shop that she adored as it played into her hobby, she was yanked back into the life she had left behind.

Obi wan had reached out to get her to help the resistance, she was apprehensive at first but after seeing him come back to her shop a bloody mess with her childhood friend Ahsoka, she had reluctantly agreed to help him just to help people escape the empire. 

“I thought you said there wouldn’t be any troopers here.” (Y/N) hisses, using the force to yank a metal box towards three troopers and slam them into the wall. She barely misses the blaster shot as she jerks her body behind another crate.

Crouching down to cover herself, she fumbles to get her (borrowed) blaster from her thigh holster before peeking out and taking a few bad shots. 

Ahsoka uses the distraction to take down the last two troopers before looking down at (Y/N) and extending her hand. “It wasn’t a part of the plan.” They both grunt as she hauls her friend up. 

“When does anything ever go according to plan” (Y/N) grumbles as she dusts herself off. 

Ahsoka just chuckles before looking around they alley way they were forced into. “Master Kenobi said the captured Jedi’s are around here, we already made a scene so we should just go without him. If they caught us off guard, we should probably assume he’s not doing well on his end either.” 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Come on this way.” (Y/N) whispers to an injured Jedi as she helps them walk in the cover of the night. “We’re almost there, just hold on a little bit more.” Her eyes glance at the wound at their side, blood already seeping through the fabric she had ripped from her outfit and used as a makeshift bandage. 

Panic shoots up her spine as (Y/N) throws herself and the Jedi to the side just barely missing the swipe of a saber. 

Rolling over to push herself up by her arms she doesn’t miss the boot that slams into her stomach, a silent scream creeps up her throat as her mouth widens at the blunt pain. 

She had never seen him in the flesh, but anyone could figure out who that black booted foot belongs too. 

Darth Vader.

Gritting her teeth in pain she grabs his ankle to haul her body up slightly as her other hand comes and pushes behind his knee to make him drop. 

‘GO! GET TO THE OTHERS AND GET THE KRIFF OUT OF HERE!’ She yells to the Jedi using the force as Vader swings his arm and lands a right hook. 

(Y/N) says good bye to her life as she focuses everything on just making sure Vader is distracted enough to let the injured Jedi and the rest escape. She sees them start to crawl to the wall to haul their body up in their peripheral, but she just elbows Vader’s chin making his helmet covered face tilt up. 

 This is the first time she had seen him; she can see a hazy reflection of herself in the black metal of his armour, but she gets flown back and slammed into the ground as he reaches out his hand and uses the force to pin her down. 

Her torso gets the brunt of the attack and she flicks her wrist to get a few scattered rocks and stones thrown at him. They don’t do much damage as his armour takes the brunt of it, but it throws him off enough to let her grab her blaster and take a few shots making him release his force. 

Two hit his chest head on, his armour taking the shots as he remained unharmed, whilst the others miss pathetically. 

“You’re a pathetic excuse for a Jedi.” His voice booms out, modulated from his helmet but still unbelievably deep as he snarls. His arm extends to use the force again, but she takes a few more shots at his arm making him flinch back. 

“I am no Jedi.” She spits back, the hood covering her form starts to lift as the wind picks up but it manages to stay on. “You must not be as smart as they say you are if you really can’t see my plan.” 

Finally seeing that the Jedi is out of sight, (Y/N) throws all her force at him. Vader gets thrown back a few inches but stays strong to the rest as he swipes his arm out and knocks her off her feet, his raises his arm and moves her around like a rag doll in the air before he slams her down into the ground, keeping her pinned there. 

She can barely move her fingers this time, not even a twitch as she sees his figure start to walk towards her. Pressure starts enclosing around her throat, blocking her air supply as she tries to rip her arms away, but they just lay there helplessly. She gasps, gritting her teeth to try and do anything but all she can manage is to kick her feet as the wind finally rips away her hood, instantly slapping her face with the cold chilling air. 

Her vision starts to bleed in and out as her head spins from the lack of oxygen, (Y/N) manages to see Vader now looming over her figure and she thinks she sees him recoil back once he finally gets a look at her face. 

The invisible hand around her throat and pinning her limbs down let go almost instantly. She flings her body up and immediately gulps down air and coughs, everything hurts and throbs in pain, but she can’t think about anything as her hands come up to cradle her throat as she tries to fight off unconsciousness and steady her breathing. 

(Y/N)’s mind finally comes back to her as she cranes her neck up to see Vader just standing there. 

“Wh-What?” She manages to croak out as her throat screams in protest, tears she didn’t know were now spilling to coming down her chin. 

A weird crackling sound comes out and she thinks it’s his modulated breathing as he just stares. 

She wants to fight, to do anything but sit there on the ground pathetically but it takes everything in her just to loll her head up at him, her body feeling like lead as new bruises start to flourish with old ones. It had been days of fighting and running and healing injured Jedi without any rest.

(Y/N) was never the strongest and after years of not training or using any force, she had become weak. 

He says something, she thinks it’s a name, her name?

But her eyes finally close as her body falls to the side and her brain drags her to sleep. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

(Y/N) shuffles around a bit on the plush bed to get herself comfortable before her mind starts to darken again, the silk sheets feeling soft and light yet warm. 

Wait sheets? Bed?

Throwing her body up, the black sheets pool at her waist as she frantically looks around the room. 

It’s a room of some sorts, maybe on a ship? The walls are metal and the room’s big but bare with anything personalised. 

She remembers the fight with Vader, thinking she was going to die but he just let her go and then she passed out. 

The room spins as her vision finally clears its sleepy haze and the more she tries to focus the more the throbbing pain in her head hurts. Her body is so sore, and it feels like she has to use every piece of strength in her body to try and pick up her arm. 

Nausea creeps up her throat and she groans as she curls into herself. 

Hearing the door open, she forces her body up right as she watches Vader stride in, there’s no words exchanged as he closes the door and takes a few steps towards the bed.

They both stare at each other, (Y/N) staring into the eyes of his helmet to try and search for his eyes and Vader looking in those familiar (E/C) orbs he used to search comfort in. 

Slowly, he starts to lift his helmet off and (Y/N) goes to stop him but it dies in her throat when she sees his face. 

“Anakin?” Her voice is so soft he barely misses it, he wants to correct her and say that Anakin is dead but when he opens his mouth nothing comes out. 

(Y/N) doesn’t know what to do, she wants to swear at him, she wants to jump and scream and hug him so tight but… 

“You’re…. You’re not Anakin.” She says slowly. 

She can see the hurt flash in his eyes before he looks away and puts his helmet back on. They both return to silence before (Y/N) speaks again.

“What do you want from me? Why am I here? Why didn’t you just…” She trails off, her head pounding harder as she thinks about her childhood best friend ending her life. 

“Just what? Kill you?” His voice comes out sharp, but the ugly sound of his modulator crackling tells her his voice strained. 

(Y/N) pushes herself up by her arm to sit properly as he watches her through his visor. “You fought with Master Obi-Won and fought to kill. Why didn’t you do that to me once you saw who I was?” 

“That’s different” Vader’s voice comes out uncharacteristically high, but he calms himself before continuing. “You are in my bedroom and you will be here until I say so. I’ll go get you some medicine and food.”

His black cape flows as he turns around to leave but (Y/N) leans forward to try and make him stay. 

“Wait! Anakin-” 

“It’s Vader now!” He snaps cutting her off. “And don’t think of leaving this room, your injured and I have the door locked with guards stationed outside. Just sit down and do nothing, like you have done for years.” 

The last few words digs a knife into her heart but she doesn’t even have the time to properly react before he’s out of the room with the sound of the door sliding closed. 

(Y/N) stares blankly at the door as her head falls back to softly thunk against the bed post. 

Had her Anakin really turned into this? Into the monster that is Darth Vader? 

A few tears escape her eyes that she’s too exhausted to wipe away. “Oh Anakin, what did they do to you?” 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Like he had said, Vader came back into the room a few minutes later with a bowl of some sort of bone broth, a cup of water and some bacta patches. 

He straightens out the sheets at her lap before placing the tray down before giving her a once over and disappearing into what (Y/N) thinks is a connected refresher. 

Picking up the spoon, she swirls the bone broth a bit before taking a small tentative sip. It hits her tongue, and she has to stop herself from humming. Days on the run with limited bad tasting food made this simple broth taste divine on her tongue, but as soon as she swallows, she feels her stomach churn. 

(Y/N) drops the spoon back into the bowl, it makes a small splash that barely misses her clothes but she ignores it to sling one arm over her stomach. 

Hearing Vader return, she doesn’t have it in her to look up at him as she closes her eyes. 

“You need to eat.” It’s a command, his voice having no trace of the man it used to belong to. 

“Why am I here.” Her voice is so soft that even Vader’s helmet almost misses it, but he doesn’t, and he doesn’t know how to respond.

He hesitates before taking a few tentative steps closer to the bed. “Why didn’t you become a Jedi?” 

Opening her eyes to watch him, her eyes flash to show her Anakin, the one who was always curled into himself in the middle of the nights when he was caught up in the darkness of his mind. 

“Because it wasn’t the life for me.” She manages to say softly. “I wanted to love, to feel without any consequences. I wanted to help people, but I knew I wasn’t cut out to help people how Jedi’s do.”

“Then why did you come back?” He takes off his helmet again, placing it at the foot of the bed before slowly getting on his knees.

The scene must look comical to any outsider, the feared Darth Vader on his knees for some random girl.

(Y/N) has to physically restrain herself from reaching her hand out by hugging herself and tucks her hands in her pits. 

“This time I could help people properly. People were getting hurt and I could help them, why wouldn’t I?” 

She was always doing that, wasn’t she? Always helping people even if it meant she had to do things she didn’t want to. 

Vader wants to shake her shoulders, to shout at her that everyone’s selfish and just using her. To call her selfish for making him stay as a Jedi before leaving it all behind. But most of all, he wants to collapse in her arms and tell her everything, all the pain he endured and everything he had to do that he wouldn’t even think about telling anyone else. 

He doesn’t even realise he’s deep in thought before he sees her moving to place his helmet back on, now half sitting on the edge of the bed near him. 

“Va- Anakin.” She corrects herself before whispering whilst keeping her touch as delicate as possible. “I can see that you’re struggling to breathe.”

When his helmet finally does lock in place, Vader takes a few deep breaths. He had pressurised his room obviously, but he had to keep it just under his comfortable levels to make sure it didn’t affect (Y/N). 

The words slip out of her mouth before she can stop them. “What happened?” They come out soft, but he can feel the hurt behind them and it makes his blood boil. 

“How could you possibly ask that?” His modulator now booms his voice. “You saw how they were, they were the reason for her death and you even left!” 

The mention of Padmè squeezes (Y/N)’s heart but she just furrows her brows.

“So all of that just justifies you killing millions of innocent people?” Her voice raises as well but he crosses his large arms across his chest plate. 

“You don’t understand-”

“No, you don’t understand Anakin!” She cuts him off, now standing on wobbly legs. “You’re hurting people, people like me who just want to live!” 

Standing in-front of him now, yelling at him without listening, reminds Vader of Obi-wan and he snaps. 

“I AM VADER! ANAKIN IS DEAD!” His voice rattles the room and shocks (Y/N) to drop back down on the bed. “People like you? Don’t make me laugh.” A cackle gets cut off by his modulator, but it’s filled with coldness. “Your selfish, sitting around while people get hurt. You only care when they start to bother your own little world. Where were you when Padmè died? Where were you when I was getting hurt? You just want to help people to fill that pathetic hole in your chest, so don’t you dare think you can talk to me about any of this.” He sneers before turning on his heel and slamming the door behind him, leaving (Y/N) sitting their heart broken. 

Looking down at her (S/C) palms, her body shakes with her sobs. 

Anakin really is dead. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

A few days pass, maybe a week?

(Y/N) doesn’t kriffin know but she does know is that her body has finally recovered mostly, some wounds still need a few more days but there’s no risk of tearing anything open and she finally doesn’t feel nauseous and dizzy anymore.

Happy with her new found health, now the dreaded thoughts of what will happen to her finally sink in as her mind isn’t fogged up with pain.

Vader made it out like he hated her, he despised her life and even though she hadn’t seen him since that day, a storm trooper always came in with food and things she would need for the day.

It made no sense and she’s tired. 

She left this life because she couldn’t handle it and now, she’s forcefully thrusted back in only to be caught up in more stuff? 

(Y/N) never wanted this. 

Standing from the chair, she walks over to the sliding door that was always locked and started banging. Like always, the storm troopers stationed there at every hour and rotating depending on shifts, called back asking what she needed.

“I want to talk to Vader, now.” Her snappy voice makes them hesitate, they had strict rules to keep her in the room and not to talk more than necessary and there were no rules to state that she couldn’t ask for the black armoured man himself, but they had seen how angry he had barged out of the room. 

Finally giving into the demands, they look at each other before calling out they would send someone to fetch him and in a few minutes Vader himself was walking through the halls.

All troopers and anyone in the vicinity tense up and looks away but he ignores them before slamming the hatch open and locking it behind him. 

“What do you gain from keeping me here Vader? What do you want from me? This is the last time I’m asking this and if you don’t answer me, I will do everything in my power to leave.” (Y/N) usual voice is devoid of any fun or sarcasm or tenderness as she gets straight to the point, not letting him even acknowledge her.

Taking a few steps towards from the wall, he leaves decent space between them both but still enough to keep a comfortable conversation.

“Do you really not know why you are here?” His modulated voice still startles the female but the anger in her veins smooth over that. 

Crossing her arms, she leans onto her front leg. “How could I? You seem to hate my existence, yet you ordered for me to be taken cared of, but I’m not allowed to leave. You won’t even answer my questions.” Her arms come up and wave to emphasize her point but Vader just stares. He had forgotten how her little habits actually looked, he could never forget but the years apart had fogged up his imagery of the memories. 

Finally feeling as if there is no other way to express himself, he just simply states. “I love you, that’s why you are staying here.”

(Y/N)’s mind reels so hard that she stumbles back, her ass landing right on the chair she had left untucked. 

Shaking her head, (Y/N) feels like she’s dreaming because this couldn’t be real. “You- You can’t! You said it yourself, I’m selfish and horrible and you called me pathetic! You loved Padmé! How could you love me?” Tears start pouring down her face, but she doesn’t even realise as she looks through his armour and straight into his heart, trying to search for the Anakin she knew and, admittedly, loved, but she can’t find him and all she can see is a stranger. 

Vader winces at her tears, it feels like someone is physically ripping his heart out when he sees her cry, but he just takes a deep breath before striding over and crouching. 

“I’ve loved you since we were kids, but I didn’t realise until Padmé died that the love I felt for you and her are different.” His gloved hand comes up to wipe away a tear, a little rougher than he had wanted but he had never touched someone as delicately as he was touching her now. 

Hiccups and whimpers leave her throat as sobs wrack (Y/N) body before she abruptly stands up and shakes her head. “This- This ca-can’t be happening.” Her voice cracks slightly but Vader just stands up aswell and grabs her arm gently to make sure she doesn’t fall.

“This is real, the faster you accept that the faster you can acclimate to your new home.” Again, Vader is a bit harsher than he had wanted but he had never thought about anyone’s emotions other than his own for years. 

Ripping his arm off her, (Y/N) growls. “This isn’t my home, this will never be my home. You took me away from my home.” 

She moves to run to the door but she gets yanked back by her waist and gets thrown onto the bed, the plush surface doesn’t do any damage but the fast movement disorientates (Y/N) enough to let him pin her legs down with his own and restrain her wrists with one of his own. 

“It doesn’t matter if you tell yourself this isn’t your home because now it is.” The hiss that escapes his throat crackles horribly from his modulator, but he just presses her wrists down harder to make sure her (e/c) orbs focus on him. “You’re staying here weather you like it or not, so it’s best if you start faking it or the only person who’s going to be affected by your struggling is yourself.” 

Her hiccups and tears return as she started into the damned black visor, Anakin had really died and left behind this love sick monster hu?

Closing her eyes tightly to block out everything out as her legs stop trying to twist away, the last though in her mind rings out before she finally stops struggling.

‘I’m sorry Anakin.’ 

#tw yandere #soft!yandere #soft yandere #chubby reader #darling core #Yandere vader #yandere Darth vader #yandere anakin skywalker #yandere #ask #cw yandere #soft yandere Darth vader #dark!anakin

[sanjoongie]

Blast him!

A/N: Seonghwa is a sith (aka pretty darn evil) there is usage of force grip (choking) and force lightning (shocking) in this fic, and including !!! force fear (inducing fear or increasing the fear already there), force mind control (self explanatory), (all the red flags of a bad bad mans) anyways, happy may the forth be with you 🥰

☆Pairing: Sith! Park Seonghwa x Storm Trooper! Reader (f)

☆Genre: Smut

☆Au: sci-fi au, Star Wars au, s2l, slight e2l vibes?

☆Warnings: oral (m) receiving, degradation kink, i'm labelling this cnc just to be safe i don't want anyone triggered, power kink, fear kink, strength kink, choking kink, cum swallowing, m orgasm

Word count: 2,470

☆Warnings: 18+ MDNI

☆Dedication: @flurrys-creativity finally paying you back for Mummy!Hwa, @mejuii & @downtoamagicalland if only i didn't have you two to enable me, where would I be 😆

☆Synopsis: in which you're a storm trooper that can't hit a cow's arse with a banjo and Seonghwa is a short-tempered Sith whose Jedi nemesis just got away

“Prepare to die, Jedi scum,” Seonghwa spat, enabling his saber. The long line of red grew behind him from his stance with the saber held at his back, illuminating one side of his face.

“Seonghwa, you don’t have to do this!” Hongjoong protested. But he also enabled his lightsaber, the green light coming from his two handed stance in front of him.

Seonghwa grinned maniacally, “No, I don’t. But I’ll enjoy it.”

The two fought, whirling and jumping, the sharp sizzle of the lightsabers punctuating the night whenever they met. It seemed like Seonghwa had the upper hand until Hongjoong stopped Seonghwa’s downward swing with the Force.

“You won’t be killing your best friend today, Park Seonghwa,” Hongjoong vowed.

With a huge push, Seonghwa was bodily pushed backwards, far enough that even as he completed his swing, there was no Hongjoong within range to strike down. Hongjoong jumped, using the Force to go higher than his body could actually propel him. He began to get away using the architecture.

You, a Stormtrooper out on your rounds, were surprised when Hongjoong climbed up to the bridge that was high in the air. The jedi winked at you while you were caught in surprise and continued to run away.

Seonghwa was only a few milliclicks behind him. “Shoot him!” he bellowed.

You raised your blaster, but your training had been shoddy at best, and you missed all your shots. You sighed heavily. You had never been good at shooting practice. “Sorry, sir, looks like he--” Your speech was cut off as your feet left the ground.

Seonghwa, using the Force, was holding you aloft and was essentially choking you. “You let him get away!” He snarled.

You grasped at your throat with your hands. Your helmet had been lost when the Force slammed you against the wall. Your mouth opened and closed but you couldn't manage to bring in any bit of air into your lungs. Your legs flailed, and luckily for your clumsy antics, you managed to kick Seonghwa in the stomach when he came closer. You were released, collapsing to the floor. You gulped in the precious air that had been denied to you.

“Useless Stormtrooper,” Seonghwa muttered under his breath, eyes still flashing with rage. “What’s your operating number?”

“TZ-711,” You replied instantly, voice hoarse from being choked.

Seonghwa stood up, after being hunched over from the blow to his stomach. When his eyes met yours, slightly calmer, they widened upon seeing you. “A Woman?”

You rolled your eyes. “The voices are programmed to all sound the same. Or is that information below you, as a Sith?” The realization caught up with you that you had just bad-mouthed a man who could kill you by simply tossing you off the bridge you had been patrolling.

“I’ll be reporting you to your captain,” Seonghwa vowed.

You stood up shakily. “Yes, Sir.”

When you didn’t move, Seonghwa raised his eyebrows expectantly. “Now, Trooper.”

You grabbed your helmet and blaster off the ground and followed the Sith, albeit reluctantly. You were most likely going to experience shortened rations and the weekend pass to the local cantina revoked. There went your career most likely as well. If the Sith had anything to do with it, they might even--after a few wrong turns, you came out of your internal thoughts. This wasn’t the way to your captain's office.

"Sir," You squeaked.

"What?" He snarled, not even bothering to stop walking or turn his head to address you.

"This isn't the way."

"Of course it is!" Seonghwa insisted. "There's a turn up here!"

The two of you turned right down the corridor and were met with a dead end and a Mouse Droid. It bumped against Seonghwa’s foot, beeping at him. You didn't dare say a thing to the Sith as his anger began to radiate off of him once again.

"Don't you say a damn thing," Seonghwa said through gritted teeth.

You smiled awkwardly. "Sir? The Droid is excellent with directions."

"I don't need--!" Seonghwa cut off his shouting. "Just take me to my rooms!"

"But I thought--"

"Is it your job to think or to follow orders?" Seonghwa snarled.

You snapped to attention, turned around and began to backtrack. The only reason you knew where the Sith's rooms were was because Seonghwa was a bit of a legend amongst the Stormtroopers. You had heard your own battalion go on and on about him, whether in fear of his famous temper or in awe of his dashing good looks. You found the elevator that went to his rooms and waved your hand.

"There you go, Sir. I'll report myself to my captain's office immediately." You saluted and then moved to put your helmet back on.

Your helmet zoomed out of your grasp and straight into Seonghwa’s outstretched hand. "I don't think so."

Okay, this Sith was confusing the fuck out of you. "...Sir?"

"Follow me," Seonghwa commanded.

You didn't dare protest in fear of being choked again, so you entered the elevator with him. The ride was silent and uncomfortable. Perhaps the Sith wanted to communicate with your captain through comms in his room and he didn't want you to try to squeeze your way out of being reprimanded. Seonghwa did seem quite angry that the Jedi had gotten away.

“Sir, please don’t get me demoted. I will practice more with my aim, whatever it takes!” You pleaded as you left the elevator.

The Sith had a stark room, completely black and lacking any personal effects. You tugged at your ear nervously. “Sir?”

Seonghwa’s back was to you, arms clasped behind him. “You know, as you train to be a Jedi, they teach you not to form any attachments. They teach you feelings make you weak. I have spent most of my time as a Sith catching up on that.”

This was a sudden turn of conversation. Why did he sound so quiet and… suddenly more dangerous?

“Remove your armor, Trooper.”

You froze in fear but somehow found the will to speak. “I know you could crush me in it.”

The Sith smirked. “So you do have a brain in there.”

“Then why…?” You let the question hang in the air.

“You’ve been like a splinter under my thumbnail the minute you’ve appeared in front of me. I think it’s only fitting that I take my anger out on you. So instead of reporting to your captain, I’ll dole out your punishment.”

Suddenly, whatever you were thinking was the result of being punished by your captain seemed like a gentle dream to what the future might hold for you. Your mouth was dry immediately and you began to shake. You fell to your knees and bowed your head.

“Sir, I humbly beg for my life. I am but a lowly Stormtrooper, below your notice, but still, I ask that you spare me.”

It was completely silent until you saw Seonghwa’s feet appear in front of you. “Remove. Your. Armor,” He repeated, somewhat softer this time; in tone, certainly not in firmness.

“Sir,” You confirmed dejectedly.

You stood up and slowly began to remove the white armor. Once you stood in only your black suit, Seonghwa began to slowly walk around you. “That’s an improvement.”

…to??? You kept your ears and eyes open for when he activated his lightsaber but until then, he continued to circle you like you were an animal on display for him.

“He was one shot away, all you had to do was shoot him once to make him stumble and I would have had him,” Seonghwa growled.

“But Sir…” You swallowed nervously, “You’re the Sith. You have all the power at your disposal to stop the Jedi.”

Seonghwa shook his head. “Hongjoong is stronger than me in the Force. I have bettered him time and time again in combat but when it comes to the Force…” Seonghwa sneered, pure hatred painted over his handsome features. “Besides, we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you.”

“Yes, Sir,” You said miserably.

You smelt sulfur and then felt a sharp sting on your bottom. “I don’t like the tone of your voice, Trooper.”

“I’m sorry, Sir,” You squeaked.

You watched as a tiny bolt of lightning was created on his fingertips and then he sent the bolt to you, stinging you on your thigh this time. “Useless, you Stormtroopers are. I don’t know why the empire keeps you around.”

Because we’re cannon fodder, you thought but you didn’t dare interrupt Seonghwa again.

Seonghwa continued to demean you and sting you. Between the words and the pain, you felt your lower half throb. Seonghwa was right. You were useless. How could you be turned on at a time like this? You took your punishment with your head held low.

The usage of the Force, creating lightning to hurt you, was enough to create scorch marks all over your suit. Holes revealed your skin, which managed to remain unmarred.

Seonghwa looked pleased at his handiwork. “Pointless to keep that on any longer,” He ordered.

And just as you were about to discard the clothing, you heard a distinct rip. You watched as Seonghwa clenched his fist and with a jerk of his hand, your suit was off. You were left only in your underclothing, a simple band around your breasts to keep them flat in your suit and underwear.

“Sir,” You whimpered. Tears were stinging your eyes. You knew it was pointless to cry but you couldn't reign in your emotions any longer.

Seonghwa raised your head with a push of his fingers under your chin. “Do you think this punishment is enough? You let a prisoner get away, one of great importance. If Hongjoong hadn't gotten away, we would be lightyears ahead already. With his knowledge, and perhaps the chance to turn him to the dark side, we would be invincible. Do you think a few paltry words and pain is enough to wash away the wrong you’ve done today?”

You shook your head. “No, Sir.”

“I think you owe me, then.” His eyes became hooded at your half naked form.

“I’ve given my life to the Empire,” You said forlornly, “Your will is my life.”

Seonghwa cocked his head, “My will?” You nodded.

Seonghwa began to walk around you again. “And what if I told you that there were other actions forbidden as a Jedi but I would partake in now that I am a Sith.” His breath hit the back of your neck and it made you shiver.

If you told him that you wanted it…? If you told him that if he took you right here and right now, that you would rub one off to the scene for the rest of your life, would he take it away from you? Would he consider it a reward and not a punishment? You decided, in that moment, that you would do whatever it took to make it happen.

You raised your eyes, dared to anyway, widening them in worry. “I am not worthy. I am but a useless Stormtrooper. You shouldn’t--”

Seonghwa raised his hand and your breath was cut off. “Isn’t that for me to decide?”

You nodded quickly and he released you. Your heart was beating out of your chest in fear and anticipation. You watched him as he pushed off his Sith outer robes. Leaving him in a sleeveless inner robe and tight pants. He removed the inner robe and it dropped to the floor. The pants were all that was left.

“Kneel,” Seonghwa commanded.

You did so without question, feet tucked under your butt, hands remaining on the tops of your thighs.

“Open your mouth.”

You dropped your jaw. Seonghwa pushed his pants down, revealing his cock at half-mast. He rubbed himself for a moment, making himself harder and longer, before pushing his head against your lips and into your wet mouth. He fucked your mouth with a calm pace, pushing your cheek obscenely with his cockhead. He began to bite down on his lips when you raised your gaze to meet yours.

“You’re much prettier with your mouth full of me instead of questioning me every time you open your mouth,” Seonghwa admitted.

You swallowed at his backhanded compliment, making your tongue move underneath his cock thrusting into your mouth. He moaned wantonly and then became a bit more rough. His cock began to fuck your throat. You worked on timing your breathing with his thrusts but soon it became a game with Seonghwa to make you choke and to cut off your air when you least expected it. You’d claw at his hips, prominent and sharp against his skin, looking for release. But the only release found was Seonghwa’s own. Soon, he spent his seed down your throat, making you swallow a million and one times over to take everything he gave you. He didn’t make a sound, he simply wrinkled his nose as his orgasm took him.

When he released your head, you braced yourself against the ground. It was much akin to when he had used Force Grip to choke you in his anger. Air refilled your lungs and you thanked your lucky stars Seonghwa had come, just so that you could breathe again.

“Aren’t you better than that?” Seonghwa provoked you. “Is that all that you can take?”

You shook your head and pushed yourself off the floor, once again. “No. I’m a Stormtrooper. I’ve been through worse.”

Abducted as a child, set through a military regiment, a grim life painted for the good of the Empire. Surely you could take more than Seonghwa using your throat to fuck?

Seonghwa smirked crookedly. “Is that so?”

Your core ached, after being so thoroughly used. All you wanted was to be taken up against the wall and fucked into the last inch of your life. But that was not your future, for a Sith simply takes what he wants and doesn’t think past that.

“That’ll do,” Seonghwa dismissed you.

You stood there in shock for a moment before he sent a jolt of electricity to zap you, with a little bit more zing than previously. “You’ve been dismissed.”

With the finality in his voice, you gathered the tatters of your suit and donned your armor and helmet, throwing your blaster over your shoulder on its sling. Did you really think you could out-sly a Sith, pretending to not want something you wanted to desperately? Of course Seonghwa could sift through your thoughts easily and see this was all you wanted. So he dismissed you, knowing that the ache for him would only grow. Then, when you would be ripe for the picking, he’d summon you to his room again. That is, if you lived long enough. As a Stormtrooper, you really were that expendable.

tagging: @anyamaris @kpop-stories-21 @stardragongalaxy my fellow star wars lovers

#ateez smut #park seonghwa smut #seonghwa smut #atz smut #star wars au #sith!hwa #ღatz #topaz's work

[itsmissing]

how have you been enjoying the kamen riders!! which ones are you having a good time with

this is gonna be a long one, so i'm gonna put the full answer under a Read More!

so i actually have a spreadsheet i made to keep track of the series that i've completed and how i feel about each one as i finish them, but i'm definitely not gonna make that public.

since march of last year i've pretty much watched ALL of it, barring the original 1971 series (which i put down after like 20 episodes, intending to watch it Properly at a Later Date), Black, Black RX, Saber (which i could not, for the life of me, keep personal interest in), Zero One, and Gotchard (which i'm waiting to finish but have heard promising things about).

i think my general consensus is that as a franchise, Kamen Rider is 100% my jam and i hold it in my heart dearly, and is something that consistently rewards you for engaging with it earnestly, but a lot of the individual season are just kind of ok! even the "bad" seasons that i used to be constantly warned about ended up being just kinda boring to get through (like Wizard and Ghost), but i always found something to appreciate about them anyway. a lot of the "good" seasons that i always saw hyped also kinda fell flat for me (like Gaim and Build). the standout individual seasons that i really enjoyed were V3, Stronger, Kuuga, Blade, "that" half of Hibiki, and W - all of which i think are seasons that pay tribute to that original ideal i really like of the Kamen Rider being this tireless, incorruptible warrior of justice that fights for humanity. i think Kuuga in particular i super enjoyed having come from several other Heisei stuff first, since it was so surprisingly different and refreshing despite being like, the starting point for that era. that being said, i think after watching alla these seasons i'm realizing that the main enjoyment i get outta the franchise is just knowing who all these funny guys are more deeply having that pool of knowledge to draw from. all of it is just so fascinating to me, from pre-production stuff, to the individual actors and whether or not they'll ever reprise their roles again, to the actual meat of the narratives that usually have at least one thing i can appreciate, even if they don't always stick the landing. it's funny bug men slapping rubber suits together, but it's also so much more and i love it

#words words words #asks #rukafais #thanks for the ask! #as always i don't think i articulate things the best way but i really appreciate being asked about my Rider Opinions

[infoglitch]

Vanish

(before this even begins I am sorry. I have not watched volumes 5-9 so I am just gonna try my best and not accidentally cause a fuck up. And I am very sorry but I am terrible at characterization so don't be surprised if you're going to face palm. Now then I hope this won't be hot garbage anyway enjoy.. hopefully)

Jaunes breath was shallow as he, ren, Nora, and team rwby stood infront of cinder who sat on top of a Grimms corpse. Her gaze locked on ruby as she grinned.

Cinder: finally. I figured you would never show.

Her eye glowed as wind surrounded her. She stood and began floating in the air.

Cinder:I'm afraid I won't be letting you through. Now ruby be a dear and fight me. I still want to pluck out one those eyes you have.

Ruby reached for crescent rose before jaune stepped forward and grabbed ruby's shoulder.

Jaunes: ruby we don't have time to fight her. You need to get to Salem. I'll stall her.

Ruby looked at him confused before looking at cinder.

Jaune: ruby just get going. I can manage her.

Jaune smiled softly as Ruby sighed and grabbed his hand. Her staring at him.

Ruby: you Better be careful VB. I promised your sister I get you home.

Ruby let go as jaune removed his hand from her shoulder before stepping in front.

Jaune: hey ren, Nora. I got one last thing for you.

Jaune stared at the two as ren looked at him as he nodded. Jaune out stretched his hand as ren took it and the two shook hands.

Jaune: my last order is that you protect each other. And have a happy life together.

He and ren stopped the hand shake as Nora bear hugged him.

Nora:I'm gonna miss ya fearless leader. Good luck.

Jaune could feel his breath be squeezed out of him as Nora hugged him.

Jaune: Nora. can't. Breathe.

Nora: oh shit sorry.

She let go of him as the group proceeded to run towards the direction of Salem past cinder. Jaune took a deep breath as he took out crocea mors.

Jaune: Weiss.

Weiss turned and looked at him as he stared at her before a small blush crept on his face as he mouthed the words "I love you". Weiss smiled softly as she nodded before following the others. Jaune sighed as he began walking towards cinder.

Jaune: CINDER. I want a word with you.

Cinder stared at him as she scowled.

Cinder: you know me?

Jaune: ofcourse I know you. I'm a huntsmen. Our job it's to recognize and slaughter Grimm and other things and you are most definitely a thing.

Jaune pointed at her with his blade as cinder scoffed at him. Before she opened her hands as a obsidian saber formed.

Cinder: you must have guts of steal if you insult me. I wield the very season of fall. I am the fall maiden. I'm much more than a thing.

Jaune: no. Your only a thing. You may be a maiden but you don't do anything with that. All you do is plunder and destroy. Leaching off of others being a parasite.

Cinder:your just spewing insults. Get to the point.

Jaune: point is. Your a parasite.. we're parasites. It's time we vanish. To be forgotten by history and erase all the stains we left. It's time for us to go.

Cinder chuckled as she floated to the ground saber at the ready.

Cinder: and who's gonna make me go? You? With your pathetic sword and your mediocre semblance. Your going to die the same way that Nikos woman died. Peirced In the heart.

Jaune then ran towards her as she grinned and in a split moment their blade's clashed as jaune stared daggers at her before cinder raised her grimm arm and grabbed jaune by the face and began slamming him into the ground over and over again.

Jaune managed to stop himself from being slammed again as he slashed towards at cinders arm cutting it off. Cinder stepped as she roared in pain as she stared at her missing her before it regenerated as jaune got up and readied his sword and shield.

Cinder growled lowly as she shoved her sword into her Grimm arm as it absorbed it as it transformed into a massive bone cleaver. She immediately sliced for his head as he managed to raise his shield blocking the strike not noticing cinder shove her normal arm into his gut before summoning a gust of wind sending him backwards.

Jaune caught himself as cinder raised her grimm arm as grew in size before she slashed down as jaune rolled away as he got up panting.

Jaune then ran straight towards her slamming into her with his shield as he raised his sword and brought it down on cinder leaving a cut across cinders face before sent him fly with another gust of wind.

Jaune was sent good distance until he hit the ground HARD as he felt something crack as the wind was knocked out of him.

Jaune: ugh... and there goes my pelvis

He then saw cinder hunched over clutching her face as blood started to flow out.

Cinder: my.. my face.. my beautiful face... Your gonna be burned to ashes for that boy!

Cinder glared at him as flames as surrounded her. Jaune stood up and readied himself as suddenly cinders grim arm now in it s claw for shot at him through the flames as he blocked it with his shield before it grabbed the shield as he was pulled towards the flames. Jaune immediately released the shield as he landed and watched as his shield was incinerated by the flames. The a wave of fire was shot at him as he dived away from it. Jaune breathed a sigh of relief before cinder appeared infront of him, her eyes filled with infernal hatred as she immediately socked him in the sending him only for the grimm arm to stretch out to grab him before pulling him back before she threw him into the floor knocking the wind out of him as specs of blood escaped his mouth.

Cinder immediately started landing blow after blow on his face as jaune could due nothing but take the hits. Cinder kept punching before eventually stoping as she floated into the air as flames engulfed her grimm arm as it transformed into the gigantic cleaver.

Jaune tried to move but his body ached as cinder raised her cleaver arm as she started laughing.

Cinder:Your a stupid boy. You fought for your friends and you die. For. NOTHING!

She then brought down the cleaver as it seems to be the end. Jaune closed his eyes as he accepted he's.. he really was useless... Damnit.

But as jaune expected his flaming death nothing came but instead a cool breeze hit his face. He opened his eyes to see a dome of ice protecting him as he saw a large pair of glowing white wings flap as he saw her... The ice queen. Weiss schnee.

Weiss: by the gods you are hopeless arc. Just stay there as I put this mad bitch down.

She pointed her rapier myrtenaster towards cinder as the woman started at her as she removed her cleaver arm as it transformed back to its normal state. Cinder grabbed the corpse of the large Grimm as her arm started to absorb it as cinder was engulfed in flames

Weiss spun the revolver of myrtenaster until it landed on the red chamber as flames engulfed the blade.

Weiss: this is going to be so cathartic.

Cinder then ran at her with her grimm arm outstretched before Weiss stabs through the arms as fire erupted from it before Weiss spun the revolver until it landed of the blue chamber. Suddenly ice spread all over the arm as Weiss pulled away before kicking the arm as it SHATTERED with cinder screaming in pain as she was now left with only the nub of her old her arm.

Weiss: that arm was rather ugly and since your so obsessed with your appearance. I did a favor. No need to thank me.

Cinder stared at Weiss as she started roar in anger as winds Started picking along with flames surrounding as the heat immediately melted the ice dome jaune was protected by.

Cinder started floating as the heat dropped and so did the wind. Before cinder raised her only arm as fire, water, earth, air, and even lightning appeared and circling each other before turning into a sphere of pure energy.

Cinder:I AM THE FALL MAIDEN! I WILL NOT BE SLAIN BY CHILDREN.

The sphere was flying right towards the ground as Weiss and jaune went wide eyed. Weiss turned the revolver to the purple chamber before thrusting towards the spheres direction as the sphere stopped before being sent towards cinder as her eyes widened in fear as she could not escape as the sphere made contact with her and proceeded to ERUPT in a blast as Weiss turned to the blue chamber again and ran towards jaune as she formed a multi layered ice dome as the blast decimated. The entire field as the Dome was melt in the blast but managed to hold long enough for jaune and Weiss to survive.

Jaune stared out as everything on the battle field was gone.. just wiped in a blink of an eye. He breathed heavily before speaking in a Shakey voice.

Jaune: we.... We did it... We beat cinder ha.. HAHA!

jaune immediately hopped up ignoring the pain as threw his arms into the air as he shouted in victory.

Jaune: WOOHOO! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT CINDER?! I BEAT YOU! I... I... I didn't beat her.... Right.. you beat her Weiss.

Jaune turned to Weiss as he outstretched his hand.

Jaune:well done... You... You did one hell of a job.

Weiss smiled softly at him as she grabbed his hand and shook it.

Weiss: you atleast tried jaune. Now then.

Weiss immediately hugged him which caught jaune way off guard.

Weiss:never be that stupid again. Atleast ask Ren and Nora to help.

jaune chuckled awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Jaune: sorry.. I just wanted to make sure you all had as much back up as possible. I mean otherwise ruby would be toast

Jaune sat down as he groaned in pain.

Jaune: gods I'm gonna be on wheels for Abit.

Weiss: let me guess you got curb stomped.

Jaune noded as Weiss sighed before sitting on his lap.

Weiss: so. Now that, that's dealt with. I wanna talk for Abit.

Jaune: about what? You finally filing a restraining order.

Jaune laughed Abit as Weiss looked at him not amused. Jaune looked away as he rubbed the back of his neck before Weiss grabs his chin.

Weiss: let's get this clear dolt. For the past year you have made attempts to court me. All which may I add failed. But then this war came and ended the courting for obvious reasons.

Jaune: yeah. Man I was a dumbass maybe whenever I start trying to get a girlfriend again you can help me out by letting me know if I'm just not catching a hint.

Weiss sighed before lightly slapping him.

Weiss:there won't be any of that jaune. Because I'm feeling generous... I wanna give us a chance.

Weiss looked at him in the eyes as a soft blush crept on his face again.

Jaune: you mean your actually.. agreeing to a date?

Weiss nodded as jaune did a mental back flip as his face was bright red as a huge dopey grin was only face. Jaune then shook his head snapping and to reality.

Jaune: um... Thank you. Alot

(Ok. Very sorry that I most likely accidentally fucked up the characterization. I just wanted to add something to here and this is the only thing I could think of because I Can not draw for SHIT. Anyway hope you all atleast got to laugh at how bad this probably is.) (Also if you got the reference comment 🦇)

#rwby white knight #jaune arc #cinder fall #weiss schnee #rwby #rwby whiteknight #jaune x weiss

[count-doodoo]

dooku: jedi lost: part 3: liveblog part 1

ok. time for part 3!

god the snark is 10/10. a credit to her lineage.

side note the courage of star wars authors to describe weird gross slime aliens is beyond me.

IF I'M UNDERSTANDING THE SERIES OF EVENTS CORRECTLY YES KY. YES YOU DID FAIL HER. (you can just???? adopt a kid and take her into danger constantly without even notifying next of kin in case something happens to you????)

SERIOUSLY. WHAT HAPPENED KY. WHY. (especially since he keeps insisting that dooku is lying about the jedi abandoning him. which means, if this is really ky, that he abandoned the jedi. that he's the sole decision maker responsible for depriving asajj of a support system.) either way, 10/10 for asajj immediately picking up on making fun of yoda. she's gonna meet him for the first time and be like "do i need to uproot a tree for you??"

the icon we don't deserve honestly.

OLD FRIEND?????? YOU'RE SEVENTEEN SIFO.

(although i suppose when i was seventeen i also felt quite ancient. but i wasn't going around calling people "old friend" lmao. then again i didn't have any friends quite like dooku.)

ALSO 17 YO DOOKU HAS A DISTINGUISHED REGAL BEARD

y'all i love sifo the seer but. i was enjoying their stupid childhood shenanigans WITHOUT visions! let them run around breaking into library vaults ugh. and they were being so cute before!!!! sifo brought back a cute souvenir from his mission for doo!!!! and then he BROKE IT BECAUSE VISION??? I RESENT THE ANGST!!!!

if i were dooku here i would probably once again draw my saber on lene and be like SINCE HE LEARNED TO OPEN HIS MIND??? WHAT DID YOU DRUG HIM WITH

(seriously i feel like i see a lot more love for lene in fandom than i'm feeling for her here. maybe she'll grow on me by the end of the book? but right now it really feels like she's just dragging two bright eyed boys into stupid dark side shenanigans without real care for the consequences. or maybe i'm just crying because hindsight is 20/20 and DOOKSY DESERVED BETTER 2KFOREVA.)

now that i've judged lene's take on sifo's visions, it's time to judge yoda for his.

a WARNING would not go amiss sir??? like this isn't "my vision said to commission a bunch of clones" or "my vision said to murder this guy" or something like that. this is just "hey what if we warn them of a potential natural disaster so they can prepare". what's misleading there??? no you don't want to create unjustified panic but making sure emergency systems are in place is always good especially if you have any reason to believe they may be necessary. this is like straight up due diligence??

i am kind of fascinated by this bit. i have somewhat mixed feelings about it, tbh; not sure that i'm a fan of the "he's always been obsessed with fire and damnation" take on dooku. i mean it doesn't not work, such a serious kid probably would have a relatively detached and academic take on armageddon, but... idk. reveling feels a step too far?

anyways, the other side of the mixed feelings is that i really love that end bit. "i knew the universe would endure, and if it didn't, it wouldn't be because of gods or powers beyond our understanding" is such a banger line. i'm just not sure it feels like a line that belongs /here/ exactly yk??

DOO DOVE IN TO RESCUE SI!! SI INJURED HIMSELF IN A SEA OF BACTA!!! i'm not happy he's hurt it's just these boys are so fucking precious. and stupid. doo doo doo dum dums

THE OLD FASHIONED WAY IS JUMPING OUT A WINDOW. DOOKU IS A CHAOS GREMLIN. don't let him trick you into believing otherwise. he'll act like he's the most sensible one of the disaster lineage while he's the one who became a sith and is leading a separatist movement.

#star wars #dooku #dooku jedi lost spoilers #dooku jedi lost #djl liveblog

[e1dritchqueer]

All the silly mech media I've consumed so far to prepare for my beam saber game

(Ya'll I have gotten so autistic about mecha it's wild)

Okay for context I'm gonna join a Beam Saber (Narrative based mech ttrpg, it's really fucking cool) game soon and I realized that I don't know anything about mecha stuff so I decided to develop a hyperfixation (and I did!!! Luv me some gundam!!!) Anyways here's all the silly media I've gone through for both fun and research as to what "makes" the mecha genre/what the fantasy of mecha is

Underlined ones (EDIT underlines apparently don't work so I'll be putting italics and !!! next to each one I really really like) are ones I really really like and like if you're gonna play/watch anything I recommend those ones

Mobile Suit Gundam I The original Gundam series!!! Both this and the other ones are compilation films, so like yeah, some pacing stuff feels off.

Mobile Suit Gundam II

!!! Mobile Suit Gundam III !!! This one is real well done, worth going through the other two movies I think. The pacing is real tight, focuses on some fascinating ideas and themes, and yeah, I like this alot. Char and Amuro should kiss (also gahhhh frothing at the mouth at the ideas of mech rivals (and mech rivals kissing))

Titanfall 2 Is Titanfall campaign, is good

!!! War in the Pocket !!! The story about a young boy once fascinated by war and mechs until the terrifying reality of war arrives to his home. Love this one, it's real good and also a real good emotional gutpunch. Like.... yeah, I'm fond of this one

Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt: December Sky This is the only one I've seen so far that I DO NOT like. Yeah the animation is good and all but it felt too voyeuristic about war in a way that did not sit well with me.

!!! 08th MS Team !!! Gundam but with Vietnam war aesthetics? Love this one love it alot, the story is real good and the backgrounds are GORGEOUS. Out of all the ones I watched this one hit the nail on the head for thematically what I was looking for. Like, it's about a pilot becoming more and more disillusion by the fact they're a soldier and seeks to escape the war, I really really like it!!!

08th MS Team: Miller's Report This is a compilation film, but a weird one, taking place between episodes six and seven, personally I think you might get some enjoyment from watching it instead of those two episodes (at least episode 8, but I'm not sure, there are some moments that I really liked from the show that were cut) but idk.

08th MS Team: Battle In Three Dimensions Short little animation, lovely :), having watched it I think Michel and Sanders should kiss???

!!! The Witch from Mercury (Watching) !!! GAY ASS MECH MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Love me some mech lesbians. But like seriously this one is real good!!! It starts off in its own universe so really good for newcomers (just need to know that there is a difference between a Gundam and a mech within the fiction of the show) I like it alot, it's high school drama with the backdrop of corporate war and space capitalism and like... it's really well done!!!

Friends at the Table: Counter/Weight (Listening) What if an actual play podcast sat down and discussed critical worldbuilding and themes, that's Friends at the Table and it rules!! This one is a more noir focused game with mechs (the system they use is literally called MechNoir) and it's essentially a group of detectives in space Berlin! Real fond of Austin Walker's stuff and Friends at the Table rule, has really inspired me as to how I can run games and what I can do as a player.

Project Nimbus (Playing) Fast mech game, fun.

!!! Heaven Will be Mine (Playing) !!! This game raises the question of what if mech rivals kissed to 11, they are also lesbians, in space, with heavy themes and symbolism, and beautiful art. I really really like this game, finished it twice, trying to 100% it but it's real good, big big big mega fave

Zeta Gundam (Watching) Sequel series to MSG, not sure how I feel about it yet but tbh I'm enjoying it, genuinely love Kamille and I love how Char is in this

!!! Umurangi Generation (Playing) !!! What if you were a photographer at the end of the world and the way the world ended specifically was Evangellion? That's essentially Umurangi Generation and it's REAL good at that, I am extremely fond of this game

Zone of the Enders: The Second Runner (Playing) Like Project Nimbus but with a better feel and also made by the some of the same people who made Metal Gear Solid and Tokimeki Memorial, fun game also all the mechs are sexy????

Phew anyways thats the stuff and my thoughts on it, mech stuff real fucking cool!!! I'm quite fond of it!!! I have so many blorbos now

#char and amuro my beloveds #what's funny is most though not all was consumed in a period of two weeks #gundam #mobile suit gundam #ms team #08th ms team #zeta gundam #witch from mercury #g witch #friends at the table #heaven will be mine #umurangi generation #war in the pocket

[bronanlynch]

experimenting with different ways of organizing this post. shout out to bullet point lists. anyway once again I watched more television than doing anything else

listening (podcast):

new Palisade: very fun as usual! I love the Blue Channel crew so much and I am constantly so worried for them

Great Gundam Project: still very fun to hear how little they know about what is to come. also they got to the episode where Char comes back with a bunch of cool underwater robots and 1) god I miss Char I wish I too were watching an arc of Gundam that has Char in it and 2) shout out to the Gogg & Z'Gok, two of my fave suits in all of Gundam

Media Club Plus: once again they have good thoughts about Hunter x Hunter, truly cannot wait to hear Jack's reaction to the Illumi reveal

listening (music): Dance Apocalyptic by Janelle Monae because I'm stealing songs from my old Beam Saber campaign playlist to make a Partizan/Palisade playlist and that's on both

reading:

Imperial Uncle: got to a twist about halfway through that I was fully not expecting but it was very fun, and the story in now drastically different than I thought it would be when I started but I am still enjoying it a lot

The Death I Gave Him: one of the most interesting questions to me in any Hamlet adaptation/retelling is what to do with Gertrude, what her role in the murder was, etc, and I'm enjoying the way this novel handles that. shout out to unethical science milfs

watching:

TGCF: regarding last week's episode, since we watched it after last week's wednedsaypost: on one hand, beef of beefleaf fame! my beloved! they looked extremely good! ("op they were chained up & disheveled" yeah exactly) on the other, the racism and also the transmisogyny. not that any of this was surprising because it's in the novel too, but it sure sucks to have racist caricatures and also to repeatedly treat the gender shifting & crossdressing as a joke and/or with disgust. regarding this week's episode: rip to Hua Cheng :/ sorry your crush burned your house down :/ I don't remember this arc super well because it was kinda overshadowed (for me) by having Ghost City and then the start of book 2 on either side of it, and as primarily a beefleaf & Mu Qing main I have priorities

Bakeoff: so the technical was a shitshow in a way that is 100% on the judges for not giving them enough time like. sorry that's what it means when every single person underbakes it. however. I literally laughed so hard I was in physical pain when everyone was presenting their horrible liquid puddings so who could say if it was bad or not

Hunter x Hunter: I do love where Killua's arc goes but I also really enjoy this early bit where he's just incredibly competent & terrifying and kicks everyone's ass without breaking a sweat. good for him, sorry about what led you to this point tho

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: other things happened in the episodes that I watched but I will be honest, most of it is wiped away by the preview for next episode showing me an incredibly major character death. um. aside from that. I do like the battle sequences, I love when a show is a couple of guys in a room going "I think this is the enemy's plan, here's what we're going to do about it" and then you see some different guys in a different room going "this is our plan, I hope this is how they react to it" and so on. also I like the narrator as kind of like. a historical accounting of the events, both because I like stories about the narrative construction of history and also because it means everything happens on very specific dates and I love having clear ideas of timelines

ZZ Gundam: finished ZZ! in general I enjoyed it (though I still prefer Zeta) and there are some really fun moments, especially with the Gundam Team, and I like Haman a lot as an antagonist. I didn't realize how close we were to the end until we had like 4 episodes left because the pacing is. kind of interesting. lot more "going to a place and fucking around for a while" than I expected, and sometimes it works better than other times. most of my ~critiques are things I already said last week (the misogyny, the ways in which the critiques of western military intervention in Africa & southwest Asia fall flat due to the white saviorism & none of it really getting a chance to be developed properly, etc) so I'm not gonna go into all that again, but I am going to just mention one of the wildest things which is that they refer to Dublin as "a city in what used to be Britain" which is. a loaded thing to say in 2023 let alone in the 1980s. lmao

I'm in Love with the Villainess: a fun yuri isekai about someone with a shitty job who gets transported into the world of her favorite otome game except instead of giving a shit about any of the male love interests she just wants to spend all her time with the female antagonist. it's very light and silly, and we're watching it as a short break before diving into more Gundam. I do love it when there are lesbians and little hints of class conflict simmering just under the surface

playing:

Ace Attorney 5: some mixed feelings about what I've gotten through this week. I love to see Edgeworth and I'm so compelled by Aura & Simon (individually and also as siblings), but I don't like how Trucy continues to be incredibly sidelined, and whenever they talk about the "dark age of the law" I kind of feel like. ok. look. it is just factually incorrect that it's only now that people cheat in court and only care about winning, and also the idea that overturning one (1) false conviction will fix the problems of the legal system is laughable. especially considering 1) everything about Von Karma 2) Edgeworth's entire backstory and 3) the fact that Phoenix spent the 7 year gap inventing a new legal system that everyone forgot about I guess. anyway. I do love Aura a lot though

Blades in the Dark: finally was able to run another session in my Blades campaign, in which the party. checks notes. performed a reverse bank heist. and also a normal bank heist. sometimes you have to break into a bank to leave something in a specific vault and you steal some other stuff along the way

making: finished building Miorine, so she is no longer a disembodied head and can now stand on the shelf with her wife. I'm not a huge fan of some the proportions/posing of the model, she has. like. woman in a comic book proportions that she doesn't have in the actual show (Imo the worst of it is her arched spine which you can't see here but I was surprised because Suletta has just. a normal spine)

drinking: Down East's cider donut-flavored cider because, once again, I love a seasonal fun little drink. this one's not as dry as the equivalent Citizens Cider I posted about a couple of weeks ago but Down East's stuff does tend to be a little sweeter in general. extremely good though, to be clear

writing: I added a section to my wip doc for my Nirvana in Fire exchange fic and copied over my giftee's prompts but I have not started on it and other than that I've done no writing. oops.

#on one hand talking abt the things i do in a week makes me feel more like a real person who does things #on the other hand it's real depressing to have to say i didn't write at all #u win some u lose some i guess #dreaming.txt #weekly media roundup post

[taito-division]

Happy Halloween! 🎃

From Blade Maiden

Azusa - Knight

"I have to admire Fleuret's ancestors for being able to move as they did in this type of armor. Although it was meant to protect you, it certainly didn't leave much room for mobility. Of course, that may simply be due to the fact that I am not used to it. She wanted to include a helmet to complete the outfit, but if I wore that, I fear I wouldn't be able to see where I was going. Still, it does look fairly decent. I have to give my thanks to her. Ah, yes. Please take this and be safe on this Halloween night."

You received a treat!

Chocolate Sabers. A small longsword made out of pure milk chocolate. Upon entry into your mouth, the sword automatically melts, tasting somewhat like chocolate milk.

Fleuret - Viking

"I have to say, this axe certainly feels irregular in my hands. I know this was the primary weapon of choice for Eldrid's ancestors, the Vikings, but it still feels slightly off. And I doubt this armor will protect anyone if they should manage to penetrate though it. But from what I know of the Vikings, they had an inhuman ability to shrug off most pain as they worked themselves into a battle rage. That explains a lot about Eldrid's temperament. ...Oh, my apologies! I didn't notice you there. Please take this, and enjoy yourselves this Hollow's Eve!"

You received a treat!

Sour Vikings. Small chewy and gummy candy shaped liked Viking axes, helmets and longships. They are covered with sour sprinkles, making your lips and face pucker as you suck on them.

Eldrid - Onna-Bugeisha

"I gotta say, I think Azusa got the short end of the stick in this equation when she chose to dress up like a knight. Me, I'll taking dressing up like a Samurai any day of the week. But did female Samurai actually wear stuff like this? I'm not a history buff, but didn't some of them dress up like prostitutes to fool enemy leaders or something? ...Not that I'm complaining, of course! I'd rather wear stuff like this than that any day. Anyway, Happy Halloween and all that. Take this for your troubles."

You received a treat!

Halloween Onigiri. A couple of rice balls decorated to look like Halloween jack-o-lanterns. The rice is colored orange, the eyes and mouth are seaweed stock and the stem is a piece of cucumber.

Thanks to @saitama-division for the costumes!

#hypmic oc #hypnosis mic oc #hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypnosis microphone #azusa furukawa #fleuret oshiro #eldrid iwasaki #blade maiden #taito division #halloween event #halloween 2023 #happy halloween

[shuttershocky]

Hey shutters! While I overall enjoyed FF16, I agree that I wish Jill did more or spoke more. I feel like there was missed potential of having a relationship more like Saber and shirou, where they both have similar mindsets and trauma. Specifically, when it came to overusing their powers and having to face the crystals' curse being similar to how Shirou and Saber did not want the other to fight but how they both needed to.

I'm still in the middle of the game (after Titan's bossfight) but it feels like Jill was written by an Aerith fan that only knew the FF7 cast from fanworks, movies, and Kingdom Hearts rather than the actual FF7, so Tifa's the tough spunky girl and Aerith's the softie flower girl when their original personalities are actually switched lol

Out of all the characters in FF16 I've seen so far, Jill was written for a role the hardest. What I mean by that is that while someone like Benedikta's an extremely standard femme fatale villain type (the kind that Urobochi would strangle midway through the season to be replaced by the real, male villain), she at least gets to revel in it. She gets to kick dogs, lose her composure, she's got at least one loyal minion she's genuinely close to and trusts in when the archetype doesn't usually, all that stuff. She gets to have fun with the role.

Jill? Jill was written to be Clive's woman before she was written to be a character, and it feels so glaringly obvious from how she's treated. She almost never gets to talk to anyone else other than Clive despite having screentime second only to Clive, she doesn't challenge him in any way, all of the other people barely acknowledge she's even there!

Like half of the main quest dialogue is

Plot Person: Bugger me, these Imperials won't live and let live won't they Clive? Plot plot plot dialogue dialogue. We oughta plot plot plot plot and get 'em right in the arse!

Clive: Hmm. Agreed. Plot plot plot important characters plot. We'll ride at dawn.

Plot person: Righto! See you in hell then. *Nods* Lady Jill.

Jill: *smiles meekly*

And it's such a waste because when she's actually allowed to do anything she's fun! Her character design is my favorite in the game, she gets to swing a sword around, when Clive gets bowled over her AI often gets caught too so the two get thrown up into the air screaming and doing a quadruple flip and its funny as fuck, as soon as she's finally given time to express one damn wish she's like "Clive, this priest did unspeakable things to children. I call dibs on killing him." And Clive's all "Of course Jill you'll get to murder him as much as you want" and that's fun!

They're each other's enablers! That's supposed to be their dynamic. Clive was a rejected son and a failure of a bodyguard, Jill's entire life was spent being someone's hostage (of both Rosaria and the Iron Kingdom), so they're the only pillar of support the other has. You can see the intent of their dynamic plain as day when Cid's trying to talk them into joining his merry crew of outlaws and Clive and Jill subconsciously hold hands and squeeze when they're nervous.

But to DO that right Jill has to be allowed to be her own character. Even in the Iron Kingdom level where Clive and Jill go after the High Priest because killing him is what Jill wants, in the ensuing bossfight Jill primes as Shiva while Clive fails to prime, and then instead of Jill taking charge she protects Clive while he fights the boss.

Seriously? One of them is flying around with literal god powers and the other has a bad case of Eikonic Dysfunction and rather than crush the giant lava monster herself, Jill makes sure Clive still gets to fight it in his puny human form and be the big hero? Come on. I was surprised that Jill still ran the High Priest through with her sword, I genuinely expected the game to take that away from her too.

Anyway she's obviously my favorite part of 16 now. Somebody's gotta be in her corner.

[jinmukangwrites]

“Trust” (second list #5) with Cal and BD?

Don't cry, Ao3 is no longer down drabble prompts

So AO3 is back up! gonna keep doing prompts though, I'm enjoying these. Also NO I SWEAR IM NOT SKIPPING PROMPTS I JUST SAW ONE FOR JFO COME IN AND GOT EXCITED.

-o-o-o-o-

Cal hated flashbombs. There wasn't much he could ever do to prevent being effected by one. He couldn't block blinding light with his lightsaber, and Force pushing it away hardly mattered when it exploded like a second sun as it reached the air.

Usually, he'd just gotten very good at closing his eyes and turning away into the crook of his elbow; but this time, in the heat of battle, he had mistaken the flashbomb as a normal explosive. Mistakes happen, yeah, but when mistakes happen to Cal they're usually short of deadly.

His sight immediately became assaulted by searing white light, and he couldn't help but shout in pain. His body naturally tried to close his eyelids and turn away, but the damage had already been done. The white had already faded to black nothingness; one of his senses had been completely robbed.

He clenched his jaw, widening his stance and holding his saber out in front of his body to where the bounty hunter chuckled. He desperately reached out into the Force, scrambling for that child in him who had learned how to fight blind before, decades ago, with other unassigned younglings; one of Master Yoda's favorite lessons to teach. The Force was all around him, within him, if he just focused he could fight this guy as if he'd willingly closed his eyes.

BD-1 screamed out to him before the Force did, proof of his still damaged connection, but also proof of something else when he found himself reacting instinctively. BD-1 warned him of the danger, allowing him to focus on that warning and sense the blaster bolt. He brought up his saber, almost not quick enough, but managed to deflect the bolt before it could hit his shoulder.

He released a gasp, finding a grin spreading across his face.

"Ready to kick some butt, BD?" He asked.

BD-1 trilled, hooked feet pressing into his shoulder.

"You will fall here, Jedi scum!" The hunter shouted, which honestly just made Cal think Sorc Tomo should teach his hunters more catchphrases, these were getting old.

The battle continued, Cal closing his eyes and following every direction, warning, shout, that BD-1 gave him. He ducked, jumped, parried, and stroke in tune of the binary. Soon, it almost felt like his eyes were open anyways. All he needed was BD-1's voice, and the Force to fine-tune what he had to do.

The hunter jabbed an electro-baton toward his gut, and Cal responded by a final swing of his weapon, breaking the baton in half and driving the tip of his blade through the hunter's breastplate and into their chest-cavity. The reek of burning flesh hit his nostrils as BD-1 gave a long string of happy boops, and he pulled his saber back and out of the now dead hunter.

He panted, opening his eyes and turning off the saber. He still couldn't see much anything, but it was more spotty than nothing at all. Vague shadows and shapes he couldn't tell apart yet. He sat against a nearby cliff wall, catching his breath, and smiling as BD-1 climbed into his lap, beeping a storm.

"You did great, buddy," he praised, grinning and feeling for BD-1's head with his hands. The little droid complied, pressing his head into Cal's palms like an excitable puppy.

A few beeps and bops.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright. Just need a few minutes," he assured, petting BD-1's head. "I'm glad you're here, would have been screwed otherwise."

A series of trills.

"Yes, you're the best droid in the Galexy. A Jedi couldn't ask for better."

BD-1 gave a satisfied series of binary, nuzzling against Cal. Cal sat there with his best friend until colors returned. Everything was still blurry, but hey, could be worse. He glanced down at the dead bounty hunter as he stood up and corrected himself. Could have been way worse.

He truly couldn't be luckier to have BD-1 in his life. It wasn't very hard to conclude that there wasn't anyone he trusted more with his life.

Together, they continued on with their journey, Cal once again reassured that no matter what, BD-1 would always have his back.

#star wars #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #cal kestis #bd 1 #star wars jedi fallen order #star wars jedi survivor #fanfiction #jin writes