#anyway it was near midnight??? so i DEFINITELY wasn't allowed up

[awlwren-writes]

Thank you for indulging me!

Heartbreak for Amani, Fear for Maria, Guilt for Helen, Hide for Eliana, and Midnight for Alexander

<3

Sorry this has been so delayed; I kept forgetting I had them here! -.- I'm adding backstory so people who don't memorize all my OCs (how did I get so many?) won't be hopelessly lost.

Amani is my OC who is married to Pelna. She was a glaive, retired from active duty to be home more so she could be a mom (possibly also got some sort of TBI that had her out of the game for a while, which was a happy coincidence).

heartbreak: Have they ever had a relationship that ended badly? Experienced some other kind of heartbreak? What happened?

Because this is the angst asks, you get the full angst. Some of my backstories have Amani, Pelna, and Nyx in a relationship when the boys just joined, and all three of them were glaives. This continued until Nyx's spiralling guilt about Selena, etc (exacerbated by the first kiddo being born, and then the twins being on the way) was causing him to take truly stupid risks with himself and push everyone away. The three of them loved each other, but Nyx really wasn't getting better and Amani didn't want to deal with the heartache when Nyx got himself killed in the near future and gave him an ultimatum - shape up or get out now, so the kids don't remember you enough to miss you.

Nyx chose sacrifice, to no one's real surprise, and left, crashed with Libertus for a while, maybe did something stupid enough he realized he really did need help and to straighten things out. He didn't completely heal the trauma, of course, (though he maybe added some new trauma, as a treat), but he managed to recognize it and gain some tools for dealing with it, at least. Eventually, he became friends with them again, and is still pretty close to the family, but never romantically again. And then he fell in love with Cor, of course. He still thinks of all three kids as somewhere in the nibling to stepkid range.

Amani maybe was a little heavy handed with this; Pelna had agreed to an intervention, but not the ultimatum. It allowed Pelna to not be the bad guy, though, and still be able to support Nyx in the aftermath, so he wasn't completely cut off. In hindsight, Amani realizes there were definitely better ways to have handled it, but stubbornly insists it was necessary and the wake-up call Nyx needed, and refuses to apologize for saving Nyx's life. Things are still a little frosty between them, but they build a new friendship, even if they never fully trust each other, they can still enjoy each other's company sincerely.

Even if Amani sees Nyx's face in their daughter's face, and all three kids' gestures, and sometimes imagines "what if".

Maria

Maria is a member of the Kingsglaive who joined in the same class as Nyx, Libertus, Luche, Pelna, and my OC Helen (her girlfriend). She ends up becoming a mage, but also does some training as a scout, and uses a spear.

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

Maria is most afraid of being powerless. Of watching people and places she loves slip away and not being able to do a thing about it. She tends to get angry when she has to face it -- the whole reason she became a glaive was to not have to sit by again, after all, and she hates that it still didn't fix the problem completely.

She doesn't talk about it to everyone, but is fairly obvious to those who know her and whom she loves. "Don't make me watch you die" is a phrase she pretends is a light tease, and sometimes lets be as grave as it deserves, but they all know what's behind it, anyway. She keeps her brother's memory alive, and that includes talking about his death, and so by the time they know each other enough for her to know how much them getting hurt guts her, they know why it hits her harder than most.

It was particularly cruel of Drautos, then, to send Helen to die on a mission Maria wasn't allowed to go on, but made her own death on the battlefield two months later less of a surprise to everyone she loved. Maria did go down defending the rest of her baby mages, who did survive that battle, so at least she had that.

Helen

Helen is a member of the same class as Maria and the boys, ends up specializing as a scout. She dies on a solo mission following Niff movements on Ravatogh, and her daggers are the ones you find there.

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

Helen tends to feel a lot of guilt, in general, being a rather responsible person, but the most persistent feeling of guilt she has is one that she knows doesn't really make sense -- she's guilty for being Insomnian. She didn't have the childhood stress of Niffs breathing down her neck (for the most part), she didn't have a tragic backstory to make her join the Glaive, her family is safe within the city, and she doesn't deal with the discrimination the majority of her friends feel.

She knows it's dumb, and it's not like she can change any of that, and logically she doesn't want to. But it does make her feel like an outsider sometimes. Generally she deals with her guilt by working harder to prevent a repeat of the action, or talking to people directly, but that feels wrong for this kind of guilt. So mostly she ignores it, suppresses it, and does her best to be the token Insomnian friend to help her friends get to places or cut through BS. Occasionally she ends up overstepping and white knighting for them, and then kicking herself for it later.

Eliana

Eliana was a member of the Royal Guard before it became the Kingsglaive, and has known Drautos since he joined (she's 5-10 years older than him). She delights in being a foul-mouthed hardass, and is one of the primary trainers of the rookie Glaives.

hide: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it?

Eliana hides her trauma and how much it interferes in her life from everyone, but especially the baby glaives. Be cool, be funny, be tough, be an example of being the biggest, baddest bitch on the battlefield, and maybe she can whip them into shape well enough to survive longer. They just need to respect and fear her, after all, and then she can teach them efficiently.

Drautos knows, because it's the reason she's insisted on staying a trainer rather than being in the field. She still tries to hide it from him as much as she can because she doesn't trust him not to use it somehow. In her mind, he's spent too long in the political side of things without truly having to answer to anyone, and if she wants to be someone who can criticize him when he goes too far or not far enough, she has to be strong enough he can't fight back easily.

And she hides it from herself as much as she can. It doesn't fit her image of who she is.

Alexander

Alexander (it's his last name) is Cor's secretary. He's very good at his job, and very loyal to Cor. Many think he has a crush on Cor because he falls into gay stereotypes, but he just thinks Cor needs a minder.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

Alexander sees too much of Cor's workload to sleep well at night. He knows how badly things are going, and he does his best to do his part, but he knows everything that's happening is far far above his ability to change. He wonders sometimes if there is more that he could be doing, but he also knows his skills and limits and knows realistically this is the best he can do.

It's harder to accept that when he knows the doomsday clock is seconds from midnight, though, and all they are doing is delaying the end a little longer.

So when he gets too wound up about that, he goes and looks up ways to better take care of the plants that cover his apartment, or builds jigsaw puzzles. Things that he can do with his hands and see the fruit of. Sometimes even that's not enough, so he starts ordering food or distractions for the office and Cor, and blessing the ability to schedule emails for the morning.

Are you happy now? :P

#and get some answers #ask games #ffxv #garbria #speculative fiction #OCs #Amani Pherozes #Helen Anastasis #Maria Iterum #Alexander #Eliana #PelNyxMani #it's not always my backstory for them #but fairly common

[spynorth]

Random headcanons pt 1

he found out he was being released from prison and taken back to england half an hour after midnight on a saturday, which meant it was 9:30pm back home in england. Given the fact it took a bit to clean him up, find clothes, let him say goodbye to his friends (thats sarcasm) and that the direct flight time was just shy of 4 hours, followed by a short stint in the boot of a car ... he wasn't actually returned until in the early hours of sunday morning .. but 9:30 pm on the friday before remembrance sunday every year becomes a bit of a victory holiday in his mind. he always pauses for a moment, takes a deep breath, allows himself a single minute to grieve for the man that was .. and then continues on.

his decoration taste is very eclectic. there's not a lot of individual things besides just a few personal items, but the assortment of decorations, potted plans, etc etc are hilarious and don't match a cohesive theme at all. He has a tendency to just pick up random things like "oh this looks like it goes in a flat." and he takes it home. his favorite is a duck shaped plant holder.

he once gave ros a best friend bracelet as a joke. one of those where like one bracelet has half the heart and phrasing and the other bracelet has the other half. He never expected her to wear it, it was supposed to be a haha i'm so annoying, don't you want to kill me kind of joke. She rolled her eyes and snatched it and he thought he had won but the next day she showed up on the grid wearing it and she looked down at his bare wrist and said "oh". That was it. just a single word. and she didn't talk to him for the rest of the day and when he finally cracked and apologized for hurting her feelings, she laughed and took it off. So Ros won that one.

he's very cerebral. you have to be in order to successfully manipulate every aspect of your identity and life well enough to fool the security service, and when you think of his love of blake, the few other books you can see around his flat and the fact that he plays mahjong ... there's definitely a love of logic and reasoning there. as such, he gets a kick out of sodoku. doesn't do it himself but if he's near a colleague or friend he'll glance over at the page and anytime they seem stuck he'll give them the answers...and then keep going .. until they're finally like "what? do you want to do this?? am i keeping you from your fun?"

he hates sour things so in every verse, when he gets a bit edgy and feels any sort of anxiety/panic setting in, he pops something sour in his mouth. A candy, a fruit - it makes his jaw ache and sort of slams him back into reality. he will hoard them.

one of lucas' comforts foods is a banana slice sandwich made of wheat bread. Think little round circles of bananas, just between two slices of bread, sandwich style. no peanut butter. no mayonnaise. nothing else. just the bananas. barring that, he will also take an entire banana, split it in half, and roll up each half in a tortilla. wah-la! a banana wrap

when he returns from russia, one of the things that absolutely fucking messes with his head is the sudden prevalence of social media. he remembers when you really had to hunt for information and now people are just blatantly posting it on the web like 'hey here's my life story!'. It also makes him a bit uncomfortable because he sees the threat it poses towards a man like him. All it takes is one picture on social media to reach the right people and the jig is up. He is very careful to not be involved in any way and it helps that as an mi5 agent he's meant to be keeping a low profile anyways.

His blood type is O RhD - (or, O-)

His go to breakfast food if he's actually cooking for himself or others is scrambled eggs. They're not great, but they're passable. They tend to be a bit on the runnier side because he doesn't have much patience to sit there until they're perfect. He prefers something you can just pop into a microwave when he bothers to eat breakfast at all.

#* headcanon. betrayal is a cancer. let it eat your soul. not mine. #putting them on one post instead of various headcanon memes for organizational purposes. #long post //

[writing-nebula]

A Pinch of Christmas Fluff (Mer AU)

It wasn't that Kazuo disliked Christmas, really- it was just that the last several hadn't been any big deal.

There was the staff Christmas party at the school, plus whatever celebrations he had with his classes, and once he'd joined Akiko on the day itself, as her in-laws hadn't been able to come and Hikaru was in the hospital.

But otherwise- and other than that one year- he spent Christmas alone. 

So while he liked the season fine, enjoyed the festivities that came along with it, he wasn't planning much.

Of course, he never planned for Ryo.

They didn’t spend Thanksgiving together, as Ryo and Ginga went to their hometown- which apparently didn’t allow outsiders?- and Kazuo went home to his family, which ended up in him listening to his sisters curse Doji’s existence when he told them he’d run into the guy again.

But, as entertaining as that was, and as nice as it was to see everyone again, he was eager to see Ryo and Ginga again- a fact that his sisters teased him relentlessly about. By the time he got back into town, it was late, and though they were supposed to be back the day before him, he didn’t exactly want to bother them past midnight. So he went to bed, planning to get up bright and early to head over.

He woke up fairly early, just as wanted, but when he stretched over to shut off his alarm, and his tired gaze wandered around his room, he was suddenly shocked wide awake, pushing himself up on his arms to stare at the other person in his bedroom.

What the hell-

“Ryo??” he asked incredulously, and watched as the man scrambled to get up from where he sat on the floor, a bright grin lighting up his face that Kazuo was nowhere near prepared for this early in the morning.

“Morning, Kaz!” his boyfriend greeted him cheerfully, sitting on the edge of his bed now. “Did you have a good Thanksgiving? Get enough sleep?”

Kazuo stared at him in silence for a moment, trying to decide if this was a really vivid dream or not, but when Ryo tilted his head and gave him that curious puppy look he couldn’t help but chuckle, sitting up and running a hand through his messy hair. “Uh, yeah, it was good- and I slept pretty well, I think…?” “Great, fantastic-” Ryo leaned over to kiss his cheek, and Kazuo felt his face flush at the contact, a smile slipping onto his face. “Y-yeah, it’s great, but- Ryo, wh-what’re you doing here- how did you get in??”

“You… Gave me a key?” Ryo chuckled, raising an eyebrow at him. “Not long after we started dating, remember?”

Honestly, he’d completely forgotten- he’d given him the key, sure, but Ryo had never used it before, so he certainly hadn’t been expecting it now.

“Right, right…” Kazuo shook his head and scooted closer to the taller man, still a bit baffled by the whole situation, but happy to deal with it anyway. “Why are you here, then? I mean, you definitely won’t get a complaint from me, but…”

At that, Ryo grinned again, and took him by the hands as he stood up, pulling Kazuo to his feet as well and drawing a yelp from him. “Ginga and I finished decorating the store last night, and I went a little crazy on discount decorations last year so we had a bunch left over, so I figured we could bring them over here and help you decorate! The school doesn’t go back in for a few days, right?”

Kazuo stared at him uncomprehendingly, blinking as he tried to make sense of what was being said to him. “...Decorate?” he finally asked, wondering if his brain was still just muddled with sleep. “Uh- why?”

“For Christmas!”

Ryo squeezed his hands, practically buzzing with excitement. “It’s best to decorate early, really gets you in the spirit of things! If you have some of your own we can start with those, and I brought our extra artificial tree but if you prefer real ones we can wait on that-” Ah, he thought faintly, the realization hitting him in just that moment. I’m dating a Christmas fanatic, aren’t I?

And it turned out that was just the start of things.

Ryo made breakfast for him, and Ginga- who had been waiting in his living room, apparently- proudly presented him with an iced coffee they’d gotten along the way.

He was given time to eat, and process. And then he discovered that you could, in fact, spend an entire day decorating if you had enough things to do.

Ryo had more than enough things, that much was clear.

A lot more things became clear as they hit December proper, and Ryo really got into the swing of things.

The store was like Ryo had bought out a Christmas store, their own home much the same- and it looked great, he had to admit, couldn’t find a single thing to complain about, even when he came home to more color he’d ever had in his house at once.

The Haganes’ excitement over the holiday season was infectious, and Kazuo found himself bringing cookies to share with his class, because Ryo apparently tried to bake every cookie known to man this time of year and would always dump at least two dozen on him every other day.

He found himself using a few spare decorations to spruce up his office, smiling at handmade reindeer- from when Ginga was a child, evidently- and chuckling whenever he glanced up at the small snowflakes he’d hung from the ceiling.

He even found himself wearing a santa hat to work some days, much to the delight of his students, coworkers, and Ryo alike.

All this was done to Doji’s absolute hate, as well, which was just the cherry on top of the whole thing, and it maybe encouraged him more than it should’ve.

(He drew the line at brightly colored, light-up sweaters, though. Ryo could keep those all to himself.)

Kazuo found himself enjoying the season more than he had in years, probably the most he had since he was a kid, and seeing just how happy Ryo was this time of year, how excited he got as the day itself got closer? Absolutely wonderful. It made his day every time he saw his boyfriend smile like that.

For the first time in years, he was actively looking forward to Christmas.

On Christmas Eve, he stayed at the Hagane’s house, watched so many movies he lost track of them all, had more sweets than was any kind of healthy, and stayed up way too late playing a game of Monopoly that ended in Ryo tripping and falling into the tree when he stood up in mock outrage.

(Ginga had been the winner. Kazuo was inclined to believe Ginga had stolen from the bank a few times when Ryo was distracting him with kisses) In the end, he fell asleep tucked against Ryo’s chest, both of them bundled up in the pile of blankets Ryo had dumped on the couch, with Christmas music and a YouTube video of a fireplace playing quietly in the background.

Kazuo was pretty sure he didn’t stop smiling for the entire night.

He woke slowly, nothing but cozy warmth surrounding him, and at first he was confused, because this didn’t seem like his place, and though he was comfortable, whatever he was laying on was definitely not his bed.

Then there was a chuckle from somewhere above him, quiet but rumbling around him, and a hand carded gently through his hair, the combined sensations nearly sending him right back to sleep without a single care to where he was.

“You awake, seashell?” The voice was rumbly too, but this time he recognized it, and Kazuo found himself smiling again as the night before came back to him, all the way up to when he finally drifted off in Ryo’s arms.

Am I really so lucky?

“A little…” he mumbled sleepily, nuzzling more into the warmth that he’d now remembered to be his lovely, warm, wonderful boyfriend. “You’re comfy…” He called me seashell-

Ryo chuckled again, and Kazuo was sure he was grinning like an absolute fool at the sound, starting to wake up more. “Yeah, I thought so- you wouldn’t even let me get up to bring in the presents earlier,” Ryo murmured back, fingers running through his hair again. “But I just couldn’t bear to wake you up…”

“Sorry…” Kazuo yawned as he apologized, nuzzling into the touch.

"No you're not," Ryo rumbled out another laugh, leaning in to kiss his head, and Kazuo could've just melted.

"Fake apologies aside, though, I do need to get up now, seashell- I need to put the presents out before Ginga wakes up."

Kazuo summoned all his theatrical prowess to sigh dramatically, but reluctantly untangled himself from his boyfriend and slid down to sit on the floor, watching as Ryo unfolded himself from the couch and hurried off.

I never thought I'd be so happy, but now I don't know what I'd do without them… 

Soon Ryo emerged again with several bags of presents, which he carefully arranged around the tree for the unsuspecting teen still asleep in his room.

Then he bent down to give Kazuo another kiss, which he happily returned, and this time when Ryo walked off to the kitchen, Kazuo followed- after adding a few presents of his own to the pile, of course- and the two started to make breakfast together, exchanging little giggles at their own rumpled appearances and trading brief kisses back and forth while trying to stay quiet.

Personally, Kazuo was almost hoping that the morning would never end, that they'd stay in this soft coziness forever- where he didn't have to worry about being seen when he shouldn't, or about the gaudily-dressed shark roaming around his workplace.

But all good moments must come to an end- lucky for him, though, it was replaced with one just as good, if… a bit louder. 

Ginga announced his consciousness by sprinting down the hall and bursting into the kitchen, tackling his dad with an excited yell of "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" that Kazuo definitely did not startle back from, and Ryo nearly knocked over the skillet when he laughed and spun the kid around.

Kazuo promptly shoved them both out of the kitchen, announcing they should start on presents so neither of them set anything on fire, and busied himself with finishing up the meal, content to listen to Ginga's excited exclamations from the room over.

He grinned when the book about seahorses was discovered, and laughed when he heard Ginga find the plush- the awed gasp and instant announcement of "HIS NAME IS PEGASUS" made that pretty clear, even if the spikey-haired head poking into the room and thanking him repeatedly didn't.

Finally he brought plates of food out and sat down to join them, sliding a couple more wrapped packages from his bags over to Ryo while Ginga dug some out from… Behind the couch, apparently? They were certainly hidden well, based on Ryo's baffled expression, and Kazuo laughed around a forkful of eggs as the presents were all dumped in the other man's lap, Ginga grinning victoriously.

Yeah, I wouldn't expect anything less. 

"No way-" 

Ryo barked out a laugh as he unwrapped the softest package and lifted the contents up so he could see. "Kaz-"

He peered past the sweater to look at Kazuo, eyes shining and a huge grin on his face and Kazuo couldn't help but smile back even as he rolled his eyes.

"You wouldn't stop talking about them, and I know you don't have one like this."

"God, Kaz, I love you-"

Ryo said it so simply, the words coming out so easily that Kazuo almost missed it, only having time to freeze up as Ryo leaned in to give him yet another kiss on top of countless others.

He loves me.

Is it really so easy for him…? Is it just… that simple?

He loves me?

…Let's have that crisis later.

They went through the rest of the presents more slowly, chatting and eating between them- and with Kazuo maybe tearing up at the sheer number of things Ginga had made for him, he had to hug the kid for a solid few minutes after he was done- and when there didn't seem to be any wrapping paper intact, and Ginga was already buried in his book about seahorses, Kazuo snuggled back up in Ryo's arms, sighing happily and letting his eyes fall shut.

"Merry Christmas, angelfish," he heard Ryo murmur, and suppressed an eye roll at the nickname, instead just smiling and pressing in closer.

"Merry Christmas, sunshine," he replied quietly, and took great joy in the way Ryo's breath audibly caught before another kiss was dropped onto his head, the taller man carefully angling them back until they were laying down right there on the floor, arms wrapped around each other.

A hand started carding through Kazuo's hair again, and he could've purred, feeling nothing but warm and happy and loved. 

He loves me.

…And I love him. 

#beyblade metal saga #beyblade au #beyblade oc #ryo hagane #ginga hagane

[fckwritersblock]

Act 1: While We’re Young

Chapter 5

Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens x Black OC

(Unedited.)

Tuesday

January 10th 2005

Last night was the only night I'm allowing myself to cry over him and his 'return'. What good would it do me? No, I was gonna take Erik and whatever he had to throw at me by storm.

Waking up the next day, I feel refreshed. Like a brand new person with a more positive mindset. Today I had 3 classes and I'm determined to have a good Erik free day.

That whole Erik free thing went out the window as soon as I got to my first class.

Double O Computer Programming 1 was a junior class, however I'd taken it during the summer during my first year at UC Berkeley. DOCP 2 wouldn't be available until next semester but I needed to have a class since this was my first year on the actual campus. Thankfully Miss Hill really needed a T.A and the fact that I could help with an algorithm that tied into thermal nuclear astrophysics had her sold.

Right after I finished taking attendance, she barely got a word out before the door swung open revealing Erik as our late comer. I quickly glanced at the sheet in front of me, scanning for his name. I was so use to calling him N’dajaka when we were kids, I completely skipped over ‘Erik Stevens’. I huffed rolling my eyes, arms crossed over my chest. His timbs were the only thing heard shuffling across the room making hid way toward the front of the class. Wordlessly he handed Miss Hill before his eyes were on me. They scanned me from top to bottom, before locking with me a smug grin on his lips.

"Hey Lona," my jaw dropped.

Before I could get out a word, Miss Hill opened her mouth, looking up from the paper he handed her.

"Welcome Erik, sorry for the confusion."

"It's all good," he shrugged.

"Im Miss Hill, and I see you already know my aid. As I explained to the class prior to taking attendance, If I'm unavailable feel free to email or call her during the hours listed on the sheet." She is then took a sheet from me and handed him to me. "Other than that, find a seat."

He nodded pretending look over the sheet before averting his gaze back on me.

"I'm definitely gon do that."

Fuck my life right?

Well, Erik just so happened to be in the Calculus class I skipped two days ago. I thank God my record was squeaky clean and Mr. Kennedy accepted my poor excuse before I was quickly reminded the man upstairs has a sense of humor as the only available seat was next to Erik.

"The person next to you will be your partner for the remainder of the semester so let's take the next 15 minutes getting know one another hmm?." Mr. Kennedy instructed.

I couldn't suppress the groan that slipped as Erik casually leaned back in his chair, examining me.

"You heard the man, get to know me."

"I know all I need this know about you Erik."

"Oh so I'm Erik now? Like that?" He spoke cool, calm, and collected like our exchanged was normal.

I gripped my pencils tight, my knee bouncing up and down my body tense.

"Let me set things straight now. We don't need to talk to one another. If it doesn't have anything to do with any of the classes we take together, don't want to hear it. When you see me act like you don't know me. We clear?"

The expression on his face was unreadable before his lip twitched slight him responding.

"Crystal."

Wednesday

January 24th, 2005

It had been two weeks since Erik showed up here.

Ok that's a lie.

Apparently this man has been here. And to top it off, this mans name was in every bitch mouth like the second coming of Jesus Christ. From what I've observed though, he doesn't say much, or gives any of these broads much attention. He don't say much in general actually, he's really good at blending in. He got that laid back, mysterious, bad boy vibe going for him and these females out here hella into that.

But when he opens his mouth, that cocky bastard sure knows how to disrupt my entire soul at least while we're in class.

Outside of class though, he acts like I'm invisible.

It was like he never knew me. And honestly, I don't know how to feel about it. I know that's what I said I wanted but it bothers me just the same.

Today in particular though, he argued me down during our Calculus class. We had one problem to figure out before we could leave class today. You and your partner were supposed agree on the answer, and heaven forbid he just agree with me so we can get out of here. Math was always my subject when we were kids, nothing has changed. I was damn near about to say fuck it when he started laughing.

What in the entire fuck it so funny?" I was fuming.

"You," he shook his head. "You really hella mad."

"Um, YES!" I damn near shouted fed up. "You literally been tryna convince me it's 5 when it's-"

"Chill. I know the answer is 3 girl. C'mon, let's go." So smoothly he closed the book, grabbed his bag and headed to the front.

I was so upset, I had to let him do all the talking when it came to explain to the teacher I'll answer and how we got there. I know I open my mouth I wasn't going to say anything nice.

"Girl what crawled up your ass and died?" Donise questioned with a stank look as we sat at one of the benches outside of the library.

"Yeah What did Erik do now," I could hear teasing in Tatiana's tone so I flipped her off.

Only giving a brief explanation, I went on a mini rant about what happened in class 20 minutes ago. Donise's thought it was funny, while Tati just shook her head.

"I still can't believe it him," Tatianna glanced as a group of guys from across the quad headed our way, Erik included.

"Yes, and I wish it wasn't."

Tatianna was the first real friend I made in a while. I was actually tutoring her online for a while before she found out I was 4 years younger than her. Our friendship started off as a trade. I was her tutor and she both convinced and enrolled in a mentor program to help me with my social skills. I didn't speak to anyone much when Erik left, but I got into a lot of fights. According to the school counselor I was taking out my anger and abandonment issues on.I have meds to tame the anger, and while I haven't had to take them in a while Eric definitely bring that anger out of me.

"Girl that's just sexual tension. You got to fuck all that out." Ashley put in her unwanted two cents.

"Trust me when I tell you on God it isn't."

"Well if you out to holla, then trust and believe I will." She tossed her hair over her shoulder

I didn't really mess with Ashley like that, but she was Tati's frat sister which made them 'friends'. That little thot pocket will screw anything with legs, D, and a pulse and I'm not bout that life. Plus she messy as fuck and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

"I don't doubt it," I smirked as Donise said exactly what I was thinking.

Donise was coo' though, I meet her when I first got here 2 months ago. Believe It or not she was apart of the welcome comity for MIT and turned out her and Tatiana were already friends. Once she figured out  who I was, I was shot to the front line during registration and everything.

"Anyways, y'all going Ant and them party tomorrow?" Ashley questioned probably tryna bum a ride.

"What party?"

"The Que's," Donise answered. "The dudes with Erik are frat."

Now this was news to me. I met most of them before but I had no idea there were in a sorority. Examining them, I guess it all made sense. Most in the clique sported some sort of purple and yellow lanyard either around their neck or on their keychain that hung from their jean pocket as if  they wanted everybody to know who they were. Which I wouldn't doubt.

"Ladies! What we chattin about?" Moses questions every bit of his thick English accent tapering off every word.

"Our plans for mañana," Tati answered l

"Word. Y'all coming to the party tomorrow?" Jay spoke playing with a few strands of Donise's curls.

"Tomorrow? It's Thursday." I said confused. "Ain't there class the next day?"

"What's the matter, you can't hang?" I glared at Jay, knowing he was only chastising me because him and Erik were close, according to Tati.

I swear to God men gossip more than women do. Rolling my eyes I spared Erik a glance and he looked like he was waiting on me to respond.

"Oh, I can definitely hang."

I couldn't hang.

Around midnight I was  in the bathroom throwing up everything, damn near hug in the toilet as my surrounding looks so blurry and I can barely function. Im not sure when I'd finally finished, but I could feel someone picks me up and out the bathroom and soon everything goes blurry and then black.

Tag list: @kitesatforestp @xsweetdellzx @justgetitoverwith0 @letsshamelessqueen-m @cmkcolove @readingaddict1290

#black!reader #black panther killmonger #erik killmonger series #erik stevens x reader #erik stevens #killmonger x black!reader #black writer #killmomger x oc #killmonger imagine #marvel imagine #marvel #black panther imagine #black panther #wakanda forever #tchalla

[poliel]

hey so you know how when beffica brings up the chewed on bones and says there's something out there PRESENT TENSE that has teeth and chews on grumpus bones and triffany's like "she's not wrong"? what if, while some of those bones had been chewed on long ago (there's snakmatter that wasn't part of a bugsnak preserved in the stomach area of some of those skeletons - had to be snakified body parts), the culprit for the others was a sleepwalking gramble? he's asleep he doesnt know thats people bones

It's been a long while since I got this ask that give me the idea for this fic. I don't know if it was worth the wait and it was definitely funnier in my head, though that's par for the course when it comes to funny stuff, but here it finally is.

A Different Kind of Midnight Snack

The sight of Gramble sleep walking was a common one at this time of night. Most often he patrolled around Snaxburg but occasionally he did wonder off his usual path and out of town. It was probably a bit morally questionable to stalk him on such occasions, instead they should wake him and send him back to bed, but Buddy didn’t care enough to do so. The curiosity of where he might be going was too much ignore. So instead of going to the closest vacant bed to sleep in as would’ve been wise given the time of night and how long they’d been awake for, they set off to follow Gramble into the Scorched Gorge.

While they’d caught him wondering out of the desert a few times, they’d never caught him going in. So this ought to be interesting given this was a place he went fairly often. Though it could just be a coincidence; he might not go anywhere in particular and might instead just wonder around and just randomly happened to end going into the desert more than other places. If that was the case it’d be disappointing but in the end wouldn’t matter much. At least Buddy would know that and not have to wonder about it anymore.

At the fork in the path he turned right, towards Triffany’s dig site. Not wanting to risk waking him, Buddy hung back. But stayed close enough that if he wondered into any kind of danger like an angry spuddy or something, they could hop in to save him or yell loud enough to wake him and warn him hopefully before he got hurt.

The dig site did indeed seem to be his destination as upon reaching it, he clambered down into the excavation itself and out of Buddy’s line of sight. They paused, waiting to see if he’d come up out the other side. But no, several seconds went by and…

A cracking sound broke the night’s silence. Not particularly loud but still sudden enough to make Budden flinch a little. Shaking it off, they crept closer to the excavation because that’s where it had originated.

Gramble sat in the middle of it, his eyes fluttering, indicating he was still asleep. He held a fossilized thigh bone in his paws. Which wouldn’t have been all that strange if one end of it wasn’t also in his mouth! He was chewing on it! Not hard but enough that it had visibly cracked which explained the sound but… what the fuck?

Buddy took a breath to yell him to stop but bit back on it, even clapping their paws over their mouth to make sure no sound came out. While chewing on/eating fossilized grumpuses was not something any sane grumpus would want to be doing as long as Gramble was asleep he didn’t know. Burdening him with that knowledge would only upset him and thus was not necessary.

Instead they carefully crept down to his level and grabbed the bone. As they pulled it away, he resisted but thankfully not enough to make it a real struggle which likely would’ve ended with him waking up. Once it was no longer in his grasp, they carefully lay it on the ground and took him by the paw to pull him gently to his feet.

He mumbled and whimpered but didn’t wake as they started guiding him back towards Snaxburg and his barn. This at least explained why so many of the fossils had teeth marks and occasionally went missing or showed up broken or splintered. So at least Buddy had solved that mystery. Too bad they couldn’t tell anyone though.

~

Over the next few days they thought about Gramble chewing on and eating fossils a lot. It was a still a rather uncomfortable thought and probably technically cannibalism but also… what did they taste like? While not meant to be eaten, Gramble had to have taken to doing so anyway out of partial starvation, right? Did they help with that any? He certainly didn’t seem quite as unhealthy as one would’ve thought after how long he’d been living off mostly just sauce. But what did Buddy really know about that kind of thing?

At the same time though, the fossils were solid. After how long Buddy had been living off sauce the thought of eating something solid even if it was only partially edible was tempting. And while it was a grumpus skeleton, whoever it had once belonged to was long dead, as was anyone who’d known them. So… trying it just once couldn’t hurt, could it? It certainly wouldn’t be the worst thing Buddy had ever done in their life and thus also not the first thing they’d done that they’d need to keep secret for forever.

***

The worst thing about insomnia was that getting any real work done was harder when it was dark. Back on the mainland, there’d been electricity to help with that. Out here though all Floofty had to light their workspace in the middle of the night were candles. Which they were starting to get close to running out of. Making more was difficult due to the lack of real bees on the island and thus no beeswax to make them from. Floofty would have to figure something out an alternative soon. It certainly wasn’t going to happen tonight though.

With an annoyed sigh they turned away. Instead of working they would just go stand by the unlit campfire until they were bored enough to try sleep again or until the sun rose, allowing them to see their work properly again. Whichever came first would be fine with them.

Before they could step out of the research tent, they paused to watch Buddy go by. Not unusual to see them up and about at this time. What was odd though was their lack of backpack; typically they were only without it when staying in town which they certainly weren’t doing right now as they headed in the direction of the desert. Still not really strange enough to be anything more than mildly noteworthy. At the same time though Floofty had nothing better to do so why not investigate and see if anything strange was up?

They didn’t bother trying to be all that sneaky. If Buddy caught them, they caught them, no big deal. But as they followed them into the Scorched Gorge, Buddy didn’t seem at all inclined to look back for potential followers. They beelined for Triffany’s dig site.

At its edge they crouched down to pull out of the dirt; a fossil. They glanced around as if nervous but not far enough to spot Floofty. Then after a few seconds of obvious hesitation, they lifted the bone to their mouth and… bit it with a loud crunch. Which they swallowed?! Another bite and it was gone. They’d eaten it! Next they bent down for another. Without even hesitating this time, they took bite.

“What are you doing?”

Floofty hadn’t spoken all that loud but Buddy still visibly flinched and made a startled squeaking noise as they snapped around to face Floofty. They quickly swallowed the bite they’d already taken and hid the remaining fossil behind their back. “Uh… it’s not what it looks like?”

Floofty strode closer. “It looked like you were eating fossils.” Which was odd even by Floofty’s standards.

“Uh… um….” Buddy glanced all around, their guilt so plain on their face even Floofty could read it with ease. “I’m just… really hungry, okay? Please don’t tell anyone.” They spoke so fast they garbled the words into near incomprehensibility as they bent down to grab one more bone before turning and sprinting off into the darkness.

Even if Floofty had been inclined to try to follow there was no way they’d be able to keep up; speed was not their strong suit. So instead, they watched as Buddy quickly disappeared into the darkness.

Floofty would’ve liked to ask why Buddy was eating fossils – they were just ‘really hungry’ wasn’t a very good explanation – but oh well. It wasn’t really that important and they’d undoubtedly get a chance to ask later because there was no way they wouldn’t be seeing Buddy again, the island was too small. They wouldn’t tell anyone though, as Buddy had requested, not that there was anyone they could’ve told anyway.

#my writing #bugsnax #the journalist #gramble gigglefunny #floofty fizzlebean

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hey there -- i wanted to ask you about something i suspect may be trauma

tw: ed, potential abuse?

so when i was younger, i used to just, have a really healthy body image. i didn't care about what i looked like or how i looked, i dressed how i wanted and didn't care about my body fat in the slightest.

when i was around 10-12, my dad started to tell me that i needed to avoid being fat "like him." in all fairness, he does have a decent amount of belly fat, but i've... never really had any more than the bare minimum???

around 12 or so, i was told by my father that i was gaining belly fat, and to watch myself. now, 12-year-old me took this to mean that i was doing something wrong. i hadn't really thought that i gained belly fat by not exercising as much as recommended -- because i'd been doing that for most of my life, and still do. so naturally, i took it then as "i was eating too much."

i was okay with eating for maybe a year or two, and then september 2020 hit. my mental state started to spiral downwards, but it didn't really get bad until november-december 2020.

when covid hit and we went into lockdown, i started forgetting to eat. i'd spend all my time online with my friends on discord, and i just... kept forgetting to eat. i don't know how it started but somewhere along the way i became even more conscious of my belly fat and started to loathe it. i started to purposefully engage myself in activities that i knew would allow me to forget to eat for long periods of time (9-12 hours, sometimes more). however, i would always eat once or twice a day, since as much as i wanted to lose that belly fat, i didn't want any physical symptoms of not eating (e.g. physical weakness, low energy). unbeknownst to me, i was already experiencing low energy. because i wasn't moving around a lot, i didn't really expend much energy at all.

fast forward to september 2021. my dad decided we were going to move, since cps was called. (that's a long story and i won't get into it)

i started going to a new school, and quickly realised that my poor eating habits weren't going to work as well. so i started to eat lunch again, but that didn't last long. not too long ago, i fell back into my bad eating habits. i barely eat lunch, and throw out what i don't eat so my dad doesn't suspect anything, and sometimes i'll eat after school and sometimes i wait until near midnight to eat.

...and to think it all stemmed from one comment my dad made. i loathe the idea of weighing over 100 pounds and i loathe the fat that protects my uterus from the outside world and... in general, i kind of really hate myself.

anyways, getting to the point. i just... was wondering if the comments my dad made is abuse/trauma? and if it is, could that possibly lead to an ed? i've been struggling with eating food for a long time now, and i feel guilty if i eat more than 1000 calories in a day, and then tell myself that i just have to eat less tomorrow, that i just won't eat as much throughout the day tomorrow, to make up for all the food that i ate.

i've taken the mha national screening test for ed multiple times now, and they always come back positive for potential to develop an ed. do you think that's what this is? is it maybe possible to try and change my thoughts, to try and heal from this?

...it's long, i'm sorry. but yeah.

Hey there,

Body shaming and fatphobic comments can definitely be traumatizing. Just because this kind of bullying/abuse is normalized doesn't mean it's okay or not harmful. I'm so sorry your dad made those comments and that his own poor body image was projected onto you. You deserve to feel comfortable, safe, and happy in your body, no matter what it looks like. An environment like that could definitely foster an eating disorder.

You definitely engage in disordered eating. A mental health professional would be able to diagnose you and give you more info. The amount you're eating would put any human into starvation mode, which includes low energy, difficulty with problem solving, losing muscle, acne, thinning hair, easily-breaking fingernails, low blood glucose, weakening immune system, difficult with emotion regulation, feeling cold, constipation, and more. Not eating enough has serious consequences.

You can absolutely change your thoughts and recover from this. Many people have had success with treating their eating disorder. It's not easy, but it's incredibly important. You deserve to be healthy and happy. It's a wonderful sign that you're acknowledging that you don't have a healthy relationship with food and that this may stem from your father's attitude toward food.

It could help to combat the beliefs your dad has imposed on you with body positive statements. Follow body positive bloggers, even just one to start, and notice how you feel about their posts. Try to take in the ones that encourage appreciating your body, acknowledging all it does for you, and focus on opposing the kinds of ideas your dad has.

I know you can do it. Please know that you are so incredibly valuable and worthy. You deserve to have a healthy body image and relationship with food. It is possible for you to accept your body, as it is.

Here, here, here, and here are some resources to get started.

How to foster positive body image.

Take care.

- Mod Misa

#trauma talks #mod misa #tw abuse #tw cps mention #tw child abuse #tw neglect #tw ed #tw eating disorders #tw eating disorder #tw fatphobia

[tiredbiostudent]

Abbey... I'm taking a road trip to Northern Norway next summer (if covid allows), and I was just wondering... if it would be too much to ask you for your fave places to visit there. I'm a biologist, so feel free to geek out in that respect if necessary. Thank you so much if you do take the time to answer, if not, no worries <3 happy new year!

hii that sounds so exciting!!! and you'll get to be there during the midnight sun :') I can recommend some places I visited and some I didn't- sadly I was only spent time in troms & senja when I was there and I was only there for 4 days. I'll include my answer under the cut bc I'm rambly and want to add pictures too :D

some places I really wanted to visit but never got a chance to in northern norway were lofoten (this one is at the top, I'm still heartbroken I never got to go and am very much thinking about another trip to norway just to visit), nordkapp, the lyngen alps, kvaloya, and svalbard (NORTH north!!! lol). but those are just broad areas and there is sooooo much else, esp tiny little magical places, to explore. specifically for northern norway I have to recommend looking at Helenemoo on instagram, she's one of my favourite accounts and she currently lives in lofoten so definitely check her travel/adventure/hiking stuff out!!! planning wise: some things I did as a slightly neurotic type A virgo organization freak to plan my trips were go through the location tag on instagram + search tons of different websites about places to visit + possibly the most genius/over the top thing I did was literally go onto google maps and just click random spots to see what pictures pop up. eg if you see a little town at the edge of a fjord click it and see if it looks nice! then for my trips I would put every location pin into a new google map, colour code it for days, etc. and then it's super easy to follow when you're travelling and you can also see what places are nearby! biology -wise when I was there in the winter there wasn't too much going on but in the summer it'll be so cool to see the landscape and the plants and animals (reindeer !) and birds and whales !!!!! ahhh you will have to fill me in :) you could try downloading an app like merlin to see what birds will be around when you're there and then seeing how many you can spot.

ok now onto the boring stuff, here are the places I visited & loved in northern norway weoooo sorry in advance for not including accents etc in the place names I'm on my laptop and don't have the letter shortcuts and am too lazy to copy paste them oops. also tragically I'm limited to 10 pictures here </3

tromso- such a beautiful city, I wish I got to spend more time exploring! also wish I could've hiked up mt floya but we were there during a snowstorm so gondola it was. when I tell you I see these mountains in my dreams......

honestly not really a place but just driving around up there is so surreal ! if you can't tell, before I lived in norway I had like never seen a proper mountain in my life bc every time I saw one there I was just :000000000

my airbnb was in maselv so two days we went cross country skiing and snowshoeing and it was sosososososo fun. when I tell you this was one of the best days of my life I am not joking. not sure how feasible that'll be in the summer but I have to include it anyways >:)

senja my beloved. unfortunately we were a bit limited by daylight and could only really drive through the national route that runs through but ohhhh man it was indescribable anyways. and if you're there in the summer you'll actually get to hike!!!! so cool

I hope you have the best time ever and you'll have to let me know how it goes so I can live vicariously through you! ps where are you starting your roadtrip from? I did a lot more travelling in the south of norway and can definitely recommend even more places if you're starting near bergen or somewhere on the west coast :-)

#asks #norway

[wizardcattcc]

11/11/2020

I really miss just being around him you know?

Long, emotional post incoming

God I just feel so pathetic about these dumb feelings I have for a man who literally doesn't care about me anymore. I wanna stop bothering my friends about it because it started as a joke ("lol, 《my name》 has a crush on D, how silly!) but it's become so much more than that and frankly I'm ashamed of myself. Like, he's fucking married. So to my irl friend who follows my blog and may be reading: I love you and sorry for STILL going on about him. ANYWAYS

I haven't seen D for about 9 months? And it's been 17 months since he was even my teacher (yes I'm counting, yes it's pathetic).

When he stopped being my teacher last september and I got Ms. S instead, I was obviously bummed out because I wouldn't see him (at least) 4 hours a week anymore. To be honest, I hadn't heard many great things about Ms. S either so I definitely wasn't thrilled to spend those 4 hours with her instead. Aside from that I was still pretty hopeful since I'd just go bother him in his classroom after hours, that's when we could actually talk anyway.

March approached way too quickly and before I knew it, it was already the week of our 'last 100 days celebration (for those who haven't read my other posts: where I live highschool seniors celebrate their last 100 days of school by dressing up, partying and pranking their peers/teachers). We decided to dine out with the entire senior year and every teacher who wanted to join.

I will honestly never forget that evening. Ofcourse there had been drama througout the year but for a couple of hours it seemed like we were all just happy and nice to eachother. I laughed the night away with my friends, D and our other teacher F. I felt so happy in that moment, but then at the end of the night everyone began getting the news that our country would go into lockdown for 5 weeks starting the next day at midnight. So D and I said our goodbyes, I wished him a happy lockdown and that was that.

5 weeks eventually turned into two months. When we were finally allowed to go back to school in May, we were only allowed to go in small class groups of 8 people for like maximum 5 hours a day and one day per week. The last time I 'spoke' to him was through an e-mail.

I still remember him telling me "stay safe, see you in October.'

Ofcourse I knew deep down that covid wouldn't have disappeared by then, but the entire summer I clung to the hope that I might still see him. At the beginning of lockdown I mainly missed the more 'physical' aspects of him, if that's the right term, like just talking to and laughing with him. Eventually I started missing his little mannerisms: the way he punches my arm when he doesn't know what else to do, his cheeky fucking smile, the boyish look in his eyes when he makes a vulgar joke.

Now? I miss simply being near him.

I miss walking down the halls with him

I miss catching his eye in the split second we pass eachother in the hallway.

I miss standing at the bus stop waiting to see if he passes by.

And I will never be able to experience any of that ever again. It's really sinking in that it's over now.

#tcc #tc #tc community #teacher crush #crush on teacher #tcc blog #tcc feelings #tc crush #male teacher crush #male tc #Spotify

[jessica-doom]

Draco had trust issues. He was prone to jealousy and could be, admittedly, a bit psychotic. He was definitely also a clueless git. He had issues believing anyone could love him for the person he was. He had issues. That was the plain and simple of it. And those issues caused likely irreparable problems.

"Do you ever even listen to me?"

It wasn't the shouting or raised voice that caused Draco to flinch. It wasn't the fact that his eardrums were ringing or that spit flecked his face. It was the words. It was the pure hate hiding behind them. It was the way they made him feel deep in that crevice where the jealousy and the issues and the problems lived. He flinched because he felt those words hit him right at the center of everything. And he felt that center feasting on the one good thing he had left in his life – tainting it until it was something he no longer recognized.

It wasn't until he registered the slamming of the front door that Draco fully realized he'd lost the fight. And, potentially, more. With that door closed so resolutely between them, he'd lost the chance to plead his case. To defend himself and swear up and down that he did listen. Of course he listened.

How could he not listen when passion laced every breath Harry Potter ever spoke? How could he not want to train his eyes on those lips, memorizing every syllable that passed through them? Even when the words were nothing but drunken babble, they were still laced with everything Amortentia smelled like.

There really was no telling if Harry was ever going to come back. He had no real reason to.

One of his jumpers was still in Draco's wardrobe, but that was something he could probably live without. Even if Draco couldn't because it reminded him of the night they both slipped on ice while coming home from the market. It reminded him of the deep red blush on Harry's face as they watched cans of soup roll out into traffic. It reminded him of the dopey smile on that man's face as he tried to gather the rest of the food, shoving it in the pockets of the jumper. It reminded him of that deep-bellied laugh Draco earned when he tried to 'help' by loading up the hood with now-bruised apples.

Harry had a toothbrush by the bathroom sink, as well. It was green – an intentional choice made by Draco. The green of the man's eyes was ingrained behind his own closed lids like a permanent background to his everyday thoughts. The bristles of the brush were fanning out, flattening from vigilant use. At first Draco had found it insulting that Harry would always go for the toothbrush after they'd been intimate. It felt like he was trying to scrub clean some sort of dirty feeling Draco left within him. But the longer time stretched on and the more he saw the ritual, the more comfort it instilled within him personally. He would lie back in his bed, fresh with their mingled musk, watching it unfold through the open door while his mouth watered for the minty kiss that would soon follow when Harry climbed back in beside him. Nuzzling into him like there was nowhere else he would rather be.

The only other notable thing Harry left in the small, cramped flat was the ghost of himself. Every crack and corner of Draco's home was filled with the memory of the man he had come to love more than anything he could remember even dreaming for his life. Memories of where he'd sat, where they'd shagged, where they'd sunk to the floor in the kitchen and just…talked about absolutely nothing and everything all at once. Draco couldn't even grab a mug from the cupboard without some wanton thought pushing its way into his mind.

Draco didn't know if Harry was ever coming back. He didn't know if he was ever going to get a second chance. And he would rightly deserve it if he didn't. He had always been and would likely always be at least a bit of a prick. It was coded into his genetics. But he was trying. He was trying so. Damn. Hard. He'd never tried harder at anything he'd ever done than to be the kind of person Harry Potter could be proud of.

"He's probably not coming back," Draco muttered. The universe had been hanging in a precarious balance since the two of them even thought about dating. Just tipped enough to allow a glimpse into a reality that should never exist. Just enough for a taste. Just enough for Draco to get his fill of 'what if's and 'maybe's. Just enough for him to taste it and crave more.

All before everything tilted back to normal and everything he'd grown comfortable in was ripped from his grasp.

"For Salazar's sake, Malfoy, stop being so dramatic," he countered with and pushed up from his collapsed state on the sofa. "If he comes back then fine. Fine. If he doesn't…. You'll deal with it. But if he comes back…." If Harry Potter decided Draco Malfoy was miraculously still worth his time, Draco wanted to show him everything. Everything. And he wanted it to be perfect. So to fill that growing, consuming void inside, Draco set himself to work.

It was nearing on midnight when Draco finally heard the knock on his door. The weight of an entire bottle of merlot made him reluctant to answer at all. But his hard work nagged at him and he honestly didn't know if he would get another chance if he screwed this one up. Swaying just a bit, he pulled the door open and tried to very casually lean in the doorway. The wine in his bloodstream, however, skewed his execution. Instead of leaning, he practically fell against the frame. Massaging his shoulder with a mild blush, he found it rather difficult to meet Harry's waiting eyes.

"You're drunk."

With mild confidence and a bitten back smirk, Draco pulled in the familiar stench of Canadian whisky. "As are you…." With just the inkling of an upturned lip, Draco chanced a glance upward. Harry wasn't smiling and a second later neither was he. "Why'd you come back?"

Harry shrugged, his body language matching his fixed frown. "We didn't finish our fight."

"You finished," Draco said slowly, stepping back to allow the other entrance into his flat. "Will you allow me the chance to have my say?" Neither of them would have been humbled enough to allow this sober. That was likely a red flag they were both pointedly ignoring. But since they were both rather gone, Harry stepped in with a proud nod and Draco slowly closed the door behind him. His nerves were dancing, even though he had been working towards this moment for hours. "It took several warming charms, but I think everything is still ready," he muttered, trying to funnel Harry toward the dining table.

"I'm…I'm not really hungry?" Harry replied, looking absolutely confused even as he settled into a chair. On the table were no less than ten plates of food all covered in magical bubbles. "Your side of our fights doesn't usually come with a menu."

Sitting as far across the table from Harry as possible, Draco reached into the center and poked the bubble covering one of the dishes. It dissipated with a flashy billow of smoke, filling the room with the butteriness of hot water crust pastry. "I'm not fighting. Not really. The only fighting I plan to do is for you, I suppose…." Again, if he had been sober, such corny words would never have come out of his mouth. "Pie and mash from Broadway Market."

For a moment, Harry merely blinked. His mouth flapped open and closed, but he didn't take his eyes from the platter. "Why?" was all he could say and even that barely squeaked out through obvious emotion.

Draco's merlot-slicked lips finally quirked into a comfortable smile. "Because I listen, Potter. When you were young, your aunt and uncle couldn't get anyone to watch you for one of their long weekend trips to London, so they had to take you along. For lunch one of those days, you all went to Broadway Market and as a joke, your cousin made you eat pie and mash without telling you what it was. You ended up being allergic to eel. It was an eventful trip, to say the least."

"So you listened to one of my sad childhood stories. Am I supposed to give you some sort of prize for that?"

With how badly he'd messed up, Draco wasn't really expecting it to be that easy. But the crass way in which Harry spoke still stung. Sighing softly, he reached out and popped another bubble. "Treacle tart."

"Everybody knows it's my favorite dessert."

"But does everybody know you ate two entire tarts on your twentieth birthday? Or that you vomited it all up after getting sloshed on shit vodka?" Harry stayed silent, probably running through his mind whether that was public knowledge or not. Taking advantage of the silence, Draco continued on as he continued to pop more bubbles. "I know you don't like peanut butter because it gives you gas. And I know you think the white parts of candy canes taste better for some reason. I know you lost your virginity to the little Weasette shortly after she graduated and afterward you cried in the bathroom with an entire pack of Walker's because that was supposed to be the one easy thing in your life and even that wasn't right. I know your favorite foods and your favorite brand of toilet tissue. And I know you hate the Prophet with your life even though you still read it every morning – but only because I pay for a subscription anyway.

"I knew about your promotion. And I knew about the ceremony. I know you wanted me to be there. I also know that absolutely everyone who is important at the Ministry was also going to be there. And that all of those people do not like me or the fact that we're dating. I know all of this because I listen to you. And I know…that if I had gone to that ceremony, everything would have become about me…when it should have been about you. So that's why I didn't go. Not because I don't listen to you, Harry, but because I was trying to be…nice. Or considerate.

"I listen to you. It's important to me that you know that."

Harry's face remained stoic. He didn't flinch past the initial confusion and Draco was honestly certain he might not care. That his being here might just be a matter of drunken circumstance. Their whole relationship started off as such. Harry never would have given Draco a chance in the first place if it hadn't been for the pliant effects of alcohol. It only seemed fitting that alcohol should be there for the end of them, too.

The silence stretched on too long. Long enough that Draco just didn't think he could stand it any longer. And that was humiliating. Deciding to call it – his grand gesture being nothing more than a fruitless effort – he stood, chair legs screeching on the wood floor and echoing the turmoil he wanted to scream out. He couldn't find the words any longer. All he could muster was the will to walk past Harry, saying goodbye to the best thing in his life with a casual swipe of his fingers through the man's ever-messy hair.

"I love you, too, Draco."

That happy smile pushed itself back onto Draco's face before he could even think about stopping it. And all he wanted for the rest of his life was to listen to this man say those words over and over again.

#pretty sure i forgot to post this #drarry #drarry fanfiction #drarry drabble #drarry ficlet #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter drabble #harry potter ficlet #draco malfoy #i love you #jessica doom #domestic drarry #jealousy #draco #jealous draco #asshole draco #draco being a slytherin because duh #slytherin #drarry fanfic