#anyway its all good i treat it like im the centre of attention at a gay brunch and im telling one of my girls The Gossip

[kindaorangey]

therapy is wild man u gotta be as honest about yourself as possible except you're also paying them to tell you why you're wrong

#my brain while im talking about my problems: AM I DOING THIS WRONG???? AM I??????? #anyway its all good i treat it like im the centre of attention at a gay brunch and im telling one of my girls The Gossip #thunder rambles #ok to rb but why would you

[ofcowardiceandkings]

I think you mentioned listening to podcasts? Do you have any favorites to reccommend? I've run out of content :(

that i do !

im not entirely sure what kind of podcast you'd be interested in but i'll throw out a few of the goodies in my huge library of stuff , i'll miss out a few of the HUGE podcasts that have been all over tumblr though

a LOT of it is true crime or human interest stuff , or history because im nerd ,, and a few of these dont have nearly enough attention so [shrug] i'll try to keep this short i guess lol this isnt EVERYTHING ive got in my library or listened series' by any measure

i AM gonna pop a shout to both Stuff You Missed in History Class and Stuff You Should Know from iHeartRadio because their HUGE archives have kept me from losing my mind many times over , and they cover a wide range of both important and wacky topics

BomBARDed (ongoing) this is the only fiction podcast i have happening right now really but its DAMN GOOD ONE .... it's an actual-play D&D 5E podcast in the DMs own musically-inspired world, focussed on a group of multiclass bards going to music school !! and all players (+DM) are members of the Texas band Lindby !! and they actually use and play music in the show with one original song an episode !! Kyle's worldbuilding and storycraft are truly incredible, and (Nick) Goodrich, (also Nick) Spurrier, and Ali's characters are in depth and interesting as well as an absolute powerhouse :') i actually made a piece for its first fanzine, Bardic Dreaming, which published earlier this year and is free to view now, all the players and the community are super wholesome its just very good overall 💙

History & Humans;

Fall of Civilisations (ongoing) legit one of my favourite podcast finds, im so glad my youtube autoplayed one of these ... it took me like 2 hours to realise it was 1) not the same as what was playing before and 2) had been on for 2 hours and wasnt near finished lmao. anyway, this is a series by historical fiction writer Paul Cooper, and is honest to all thats good one of the best documentary series ive encountered in years - and ive consumed a LOT of documentaries. it covered the downfall of various civilisations through history, and the episodes run from an hour to FOUR hours depending on the topic. its so chill to listen to and just get done, but over the pandemic all of the episodes have been given full movie-quality video versions too on youtube if youre more of a visual person.

Casting Lots: A Survival Cannibalism Podcast (on series break) yeah that says that lol ... its a SUPER niche topic but its very interesting and treated very well despite being kind of comical at times, the hosts are just naturally funny lol ... it delves around from the history of cannibalism in whole regions to specific incidents as recently as the 1970s, and of course the first episode is about the Donner Party, and it covers things ive never heard of despite being kind of important ?? anyway Alix and Carmella are good eggs

Sawbones (ongoing) i probably dont need to mention much here other than say that Justin and Sydnee saved me from being SO BORED sooo often, the history of medicine is wacky as hell and its what most of my history GCSE was on so [shrugs]

Cautionary Tales (on series break) this was a wild-card find lol ... it's by Tim Harford "the undercover economist" who writes for the Financial Times, and its topics kind of weave modern topics and science with how to learn from historical errors ... its a bit weird but well worth a go, also each series has a few celebrity guest voice actors which is pretty awesome

Ephemeral (ongoing) this is a very strange but thought provoking series about sounds and other things just barely saved. topics include the last castrato, the hello girls, hand-stamped records, the spread of kīkā kila music, and acoustic fossils of wild places.

Neat! The Boozecast (ongoing) history and bartending whats not to like lol ... hosted by Teylor Smirl and now their dad Tommy, they're just digging around in how important booze is to human culture

True Crime (white collar and weirdness);

Swindled (ongoing) this is an amazing show full stop. A Concerned Citizen details some of the most impactful and unruly things to happen in white collar and corporate crime. very factually accurate but given the sheer bullshit of the topics the deadpan snarking is [chefs kiss] absolutely warranted ..

American Scandal (on series break) this one is a series within a series type, and spends a few episodes at a time poking holes in some of America's biggest scandals, from a dramatised but fact-based point of view. such as what the hell was going on with Enron, how big tobacco was forced to own up to covering its own ass, how Iran-Contra happened, etc. it also now has a sister show called British Scandal, which does the same thing for British cases but with a slightly different format.

Missing in Alaska (finished) this was a fascinating series, a deep dive into what happened to two US government officials who disappeared on a small chartered flight in Alaska in 1972. it goes some really strange places, but it actually turned up a lot of previously unknown information through the audience. John Walczak's new series in a new feed is Missing on 9/11 which looks into what happened to Dr Sneha Philip.

Pretend (ongoing) Host Javier Leiva holds interviews with anyone living a lie, or who have been touched by them. con artists, snake oil salesmen, former cult members, catfishing victims, anyone and everyone.

Power: The Maxwells (finished) hosted by journalist Tara Palmeri, the story of media tycoon Robert Maxwell from nothing to empire to mysterious death and the scandals uncovered after he was gone.

Lets Talk About Sects (ongoing) Sarah Steele covering cults from around the world, in particular those in Australia - where she is from. She often has former members on the show to share their stories, and share knowledge of how they left. each story has the relevant content warnings at the start of each episode.

Brainwashed (finished) investigation of the CIA's covert mind control experiments, centred on the experiments performed at a hospital in Montreal, and its cultural impact.

Dr Death (2 series finished) two series investigating huge cases of fraud and medical malpractice, and how they were brought to a stop. series 1 covers Dr Duntsch and his horribly butchered neurosurgery, series 2 covers Dr Fata and his fraudulent cancer clinic

The Immaculate Deception (finished) untangling the weird and disturbing fertility fraud of Dr Jan Karbaat, who fathered children himself through his fertility clinic, and the impact of his deception. later episodes also touch on other similar cases.

True Crime (Violent/General);

The Casual Criminalist (ongoing) Simon Whistler of-the-many-youtube-channels cold reads a script about the case of the day, with some of his daft commentary thrown in.

Southern Fried True Crime (ongoing) Crimes from the American South hosted by Erica Kelley, she puts all the facts out there but refreshingly for true crime she doesnt hesitate to tell you if she thinks someone is human garbage lol

They Walk Among Us (ongoing) probably one of the most popular UK crime podcasts, very measured and well put together, not weird or annoying about it either.

All Crime No Cattle (ongoing, feed slowed down for now) specifically about crimes from Texas, hosted by Erin and Shay, they're very sensitive hosts and a lot of the cases they cover shed light on why the Texas criminal system is how it is or show an impact at a national level

Canadian True Crime (ongoing) Canadian crime from an Aussie who's lived there for a decade, Kristi is again a sensitive and measured host covering some important topics

True Crime (Violent/Deep Dive);

Hitman (finished) journalist Jasmyn Morris digs around in the sticky tangle around a book published by fringe publisher Paladin Press, and its apparent use as a blueprint in the killing of a mother, her friend and her 8 year old boy for financial gain.

Camp Hell: Anneewakee (ongoing) this series is exploring how a wilderness camp "correctional facility" was endorsed by the Georgia care and juvenile reform system, despite widespread abuses and shady practices the whole time. warning for csa and child cruelty throughout.

True Crime Bullshit (on series break) this one is a huge huge rabbithole but a very interesting one where the host Josh Hallmark has spent years digging into the life and potential crimes of Israel Keyes. Keyes is often mentioned as a serial killer with no pattern, but in picking it apart thats not quite true, and has sparked some re-evaluations of missing persons cases and stumbling upon information the FBI has redacted organically. there's also a series in the middle looking into the crimes of Kelly Cochran

Forgotten: Women of Juárez (finished) this series looks into the huge numbers of missing women of Ciudad Juárez, the strange circumstances surrounding them, and the potential cover-ups and corruptions on both sides of the border, trying to give a voice to all of the forgotten women and girls and their families without answers. the series itself is finished, but a spanish language edition is being released every week now.

aaaaaand i'll call it there before i list everything lol, i hope you find something to plug your boredom hole with !!

#audio #rory's ramblings #podcasts #asks #anon #long post

[godsofhumanity]

Iapetus 30 day HCs

Hi its tumblr noob anon with *gasp* EARLY 30 DAY HCs on iapetus?? Wow what is this character development anyway im free now so i'll do iapetus's HCs early. You're welcome iapetus

- i think iapetus would have short golden blonde hair, but styled in a short(?) and not so spiky mohawk LOLOL. I'm really influenced by vans' iapetus and general titan HCs (omg legit man vans ur titan hcs are *chef's kiss* legit they give me so much serotonin <3 <3 <3) so i think this would fit iapetus's street smart and prankster personality. I think he would be around average height and his eyes would be either blue or golden

- iapetus and cronus were the terror twins and always gave oceanus a hard time, but i HC that iapetus was the chief troublemaker of the two. Cronus mostly preferred to plan pranks and be less of the centre of attention than iapetus, while iapetus was always his executioner or right hand man, which fits nicely with his epithet "the piercer". Also sometimes rhea would join in too. I also HC that iapetus really likes rap and hip hop (or whatever equivalent they had back in the day) and would have solo rap performances (sometimes with rhea beatboxing) whether his family liked it or not. I really like this rockstar HC i have of iapetus LOL it really fits with his epithet "the piercer" lol u go iapetus u punk rockstar. Anyway another thing "the piercer" reminds me of is prozd's archibald skit where he's like "i think the enemy got THE POINT" while thrusting his spear at the enemy its really funny guys y'all should check it out 

- iapetus's defining characteristic is his loyalty. He's like a highly ranked and beloved gang member (lol), utterly devoted to his baby brother cronus and his cause (although he treats cronus like a big brother LOL). He's cronus's right hand man and will always be by his side and stick by him no matter what. Iapetus also was not ambitious at all, and was content to stay at his brother's side, working for and with him. It brought him the most happiness and contentment. I think out of all of the titans, he was the one who truly believed in the concept of a family the most. Although he sometimes didn't get along with some of his family members such as themis and mnemosyne, he truly believed that families should stick together through thick and thin and support each other no matter what. To him, betrayal was the worst crime anyone could commit.

- iapetus's wife is asia/clymene, an oceanid. I think bcos he's so family-oriented, he couldnt see his siblings as anything other than his brothers and sisters so he had to marry someone outside of his family LOL. Anyway I HC that maybe one day iapetus was hanging by some river or lake or something or swimming in the water and clymene was like what are u doing here this is my home get ur dirty ass out of my house (get out of my swamp LOLOLOL) and then iapetus starting rapping and singing and it really charmed clymene LOL and so they got together. Good for clymene tho bcos i think out of all the (male) titans, iapetus would probably be the best father out of the lot

- regarding his kids, iapetus and clymene loved all of them dearly. Iapetus would definitely instill them to be loyal, especially to their friends and family, while also teaching them street smarts and craftiness to get out of tight spots. Clymene, however, would teach them to be their own person and instead of blindly following someone, they should be able to decide things for themselves and choose who or what cause they wanted to follow or devote themselves to or not at all.

- now we get to the depressing part... the titanomachy. Of course iapetus supports cronus with all his heart and strength and might. He's his brother, he's family, and most of all, he's his best friend. Iapetus probably doesn't agree with cronus's methods of devouring his children, especially now that he has his own kids, he can't imagine doing that to his own children, but he can definitely respect, admire and feel immense gratitude to cronus for the sacrifices that he made for them, the titans. Cronus had always been a natural born leader, and iapetus could not help but feel an immense respect, love and adoration for him, bcos although he did horrible things, he did those terrible things for them. This is why iapetus chooses to fight for, with and alongside cronus even until the end, and even though they would eventually lose and get thrown into tartarus, he would always do it again and again for his family and for his brother. (this is like achilles and patrocles but without the homoerotic subtext. Move aside homoerotic achillesXpatrocles, purely philia and storge iapetus+cronus coming through. LOLOL but honestly we need more purely intensely intimate platonic or familial relationships in media)

- although some of iapetus's children (atlas and menoetius) fought for cronus with him, his other children (prometheus and epimetheus) would instead fight for zeus. Iapetus would have felt incredibly hurt and betrayed by prometheus and epimetheus, especially prometheus as they both share the same craftiness and iapetus knows that prometheus would have planned this betrayal for a long time. Iapetus would have been so taken aback and horrified. How could his children, whom he has loved and cherished and taught all he knew, turn his backs on him and their family? How could they be disloyal? I think the disappointment, grief, shock and anger would have torn iapetus apart. He would have probably expelled prometheus and epimetheus violently, and would have very nearly disowned them (thankfully he just stopped short of disowning them though, but in that moment, his entire world came crashing down in a shower of rage, betrayal, pain and despair)

- the truth was that prometheus was actually the best blend of his parents. He inherited iapetus's loyalty, cunning and craftiness, but he also took clymene's teachings to think for himself to heart. In the end, prometheus became a noble trickster who was loyal to his own cause, similar to hermes (which is why he becomes so big of a threat to zeus later when he acts on his own accord and defies zeus by stealing fire) (by the way, i'm not sure if clymene supported cronus or zeus, but i think she would have mostly remained neutral, and mostly just tried to reduce the punishments for her children and husband (although that didnt really work too well, but atlas got to hold up the celestial sphere, so maybe that's better than being thrown into tartarus for all eternity)

- anyway, after reflecting in tartarus for some time, iapetus would eventually forgive prometheus and epimetheus. He would come to realise that although he himself would forever be loyal to cronus no matter what, you cannot force loyalty and he cannot make his children devote themselves to cronus's cause. He understands that just as iapetus feels so much love and loyalty to cronus and always consciously chose to follow him (iapetus never blindly followed cronus, he always made his own decisions and always chose cronus), his children would find their own things that they would love and devote themselves to and be loyal towards. He cannot force his children to be devoted towards the same things that he is. In this way, iapetus comes to forgive his children.

- overall, i think iapetus emerges from the tragedy that is the titanomachy with his personality traits largely unchanged, but more mellowed and with a greater understanding and acceptance of his children.

- (i'm mostly done, but i have this one HC that i think would be cool) I HC that iapetus, being his charming self, would play with cerberus and be kind to him, eventually winning cerberus's trust. This would lead to iapetus eventually winning over hades's favour, leading to iapetus being able to secure monthly(?) visits from his wife and unpunished children (and maybe even the other titans who went free). I think that iapetus made up with prometheus and epimetheus before prometheus got punished by zeus (big L). When iapetus got wind of his son's cruel punishment, he raged and campaigned so hard for his son's freedom to hades that hades told zeus, who eventually gave heracles permission to set him free during his 12 labours.

WOW IM ACTUALLY DONE NOW. i think that iapetus has really become my favourite (male) titan, together with mnemosyne (whom i developed some interesting HCs for last night. Lets hope i will remember them by the time mnemosyne's 30 day HCs roll around). Honestly i really feel that iapetus is really an all-around great guy. If only cronus hadnt wrecked all of that (goddammit cronus u really either die a hero, or u live long enough to see urself become the villain). But ultimately, cronus and iapetus are really blessed to have each other for company in tartarus, especially cronus. U really don't deserve iapetus man

#submission #reading this was so trippy because some of ur ideas are literally exactly the same as me and the way you write ''lololol'' is literally me #so i keep thinking i'm the one who wrote this LOL #i love you anon ur so great and so committed to these ideas < #*<3 #when u wrote about iapetus being loyal to kronos till the end it made me think about my AU #i wrote about kronos actually confessing that he ate his kids to iapetus but instead of being horrified #iapetus is more just amazed at how committed his brother has been to the titans #and he feels like there's nothing he can do except pledge his loyalty to this invincible and unrelenting god of gods #so iapetus actually doesn't get angry with kronos. he thanks him and at that point iapetus knows he'll never leave kronos' side #and then the boys have a maniacal laugh about it like the psychos they are #and rhea's standing outside unbeknownst to them and she hears the whole thing #and she's horrified about iapetus' reaction and she's just like ''yep. i'm going to die here'' #anyways.. i love that scene a lot because i love the kronos-iapetus brotp #i think they're such complex characters and it's so interesting to explore their backgrounds and their stories #i have some different thoughts to you about him being in tartarus but i definitely agree with iapetus being loyal 4 eva to kronos. #30 day hc #anon #anonymous

[taezhu]

soccer player!Johnny

johnny seo has a reputation around him which isn’t the best

its probably because he’s friends with Jaehyun and is a fan of posting pictures on instagram with almost 1k likes now

he’s a fuck boy, so everyone thinks

you’re stuck with that opinion when you get caught in a lecture with him and you unknowingly sit on his row 

he’s minding his own business and doesn’t even notice you, but when you catch a glimpse of his face

oh my god that’s johnny?

he’s actually more attractive in real life than instagram

the fact he acts like he's nothing around everyone makes you think he’s even more of a fuck boy

I mean, he seems like he’s so used to having girls stare at him that he doesn’t notice

really he was trying to help lucas out with his coursework so was concentrated on that

anyway, he notices you when the lecturer gets a bit boring and he starts people watching 

he realises you must be from one of the other classes that are joining his one today cause he thinks he would have remembered your face 

Johnny isn’t that shy, he can be, but he knows he has to make an effort with people so he ignores it

and after waiting the twenty minutes for the class to end he finally approaches you with a smile on his face and hand out for you to shake

which you just awkwardly look at like.. what?

“hi, im Johnny. do you study history?”

he has a really nice voice, soft but firm etc

you tell him you don’t and his suspicions are confirmed, and you both end up walking out of the class together making small talk

well, you think it’s just small talk but you learn a lot about him

he’s a bit of an.. oversharer you guess, he tells you a lot

you’ve known him all of about ten minutes and he’s telling you that his friend he lives with has just got a girlfriend and they’re annoying 

and that his friend also plays on the soccer team with him as striker

“oh, me? I'm the goalkeeper. Good at catching stuff rather than shooting them. uh.. yeah, that’s jaehyun’s job”

he’s actually so shy and awkward and you can tell

you live near to each other actually and you’re both done so you end up walking home together 

and to your surprise he invites you to come into his for a while 

for coffee, he says, but you think differently 

somehow despite how awkward he is you still think of him in that fuck boy persona and convince yourself he’s gonna make a move on you

so you decline and just go home, exchanging your number instead when you feel bad for ditching him

apparently he didn’t want to be alone with jaehyun and his girlfriend, he tells you later

so you feel extra bad

and to make it up to him you say you’ll go to one of his games 

since he’s never actually had someone outside his group of friends come to support him

again, he’s an oversharer and tells you literally anything that comes to his mind

and he texts you basically all the time so you’re his best friend now

that’s what Lucas says about it, though he thinks Johnny has a crush on you because he always smiles when he talks about you

and Johnny isn’t happy with that assumption 

“we’ve only known each other for like two weeks, what is wrong with you?”

so you go to his home match a few weeks later

and gone is the majority of the fuck boy vibes you got from him, just until he walks out onto the pitch and is smirking left right and centre

he’s hot and he definitely knows it!

the boy is like a different person altogether on that pitch and it sucks, because you really liked the other side to him

he told you no one has come to watch him before but there’s a group of girls nearer to him chanting his surname 

who are his fan club, Lucas tells you when he finds you in the stands and sits with you

the fan club that are loyal to johnny and make sure they come to every game in order to try and get his attention

Johnny has never been that interested though

Lucas says he barely even notices them in the corner

further emphasised when Johnny gives you a big smile and waves just before the game is about to start 

he’s a good keeper actually, he’s the tallest one there so he literally stands out anyway

but he’s a lot better than the other keeper who can’t catch anything jaehyun puts towards him

anyway, Johnny comes and finds you and Lucas after the game happy that you’re getting along

and also really excited that you actually came 

he’d be such a cutie when you tell him how good you thought he was and he’d have this blush all over his cheeks

he doesn't take compliments well especially when they’re from you

and Lucas is still convinced Johnny has a crush on you

which he doesn’t tell you, and instead tells their entire group of friends who needed some drama in their lives

so suddenly you’re being harassed, I mean spoken to, by all these guys who are interested in the first person Johnny has ever seemed to like 

Lucas is bad but mark is worse, he literally texts you every day to ask if you’ve seen Johnny 

but it’s Lucas that breaks it to you that Johnny likes you

to be fair to Johnny, he keeps it pretty secret around you. he treats you like he treats his friends and you would never have guessed anything 

you and Johnny went to the library together the day before and that night Johnny wouldn’t shut up about you

and since jaehyun was doing the same thing about his girlfriend with Lucas, the boy snapped

he came and found you in the language building and he looked like he was ready to explode

“I can’t take it any more. all I hear is how much he loves you. just ask him out and stop this all”

“what do I mean? Johnny is basically in love with you and you wouldn’t have a clue!”

it takes you by surprise yes

mostly because what? he kept this a secret for this long?

but also it’s cute because that explains why he would get shy when he accidentally brushed your hand and then he would stare at you

oh.. thats what Lucas means

it was kind of obvious actually 

so you find Johnny later that day and he’s tucked away in the computer lab since he’s doing some research 

you kind of don't want to approach him about it but you also have to just say it

so you take the chair next to him and he complete ignores you and you realise he’s got his earphones in 

It gives you a second to compose yourself and you come up with a whole speech to give to him

and you tap his shoulder, which surprises him, but the second he takes out his earbuds and asks if you’re okay

with that damn smile.. please let us live Johnny we are weak beings

you just say you like me

??

it’s really quiet 

...

and he just sighs and looks down to the table

“I do, i’m sorry and I should have told you but I completely understand if you don’t want anything to come from it and I'll stop liking you and... I'm not making it better?”

rolling your eyes probably wasn’t the best idea

but you tell him that he doesn’t have to apologise for having feelings and he hums 

“yeah but I have a crush on you... how stupid is that?”

“it’s stupid because it’s you and it’s wishful thinking because why would you.. like me?”

and it’s true, you’ve never really returned his feelings so you tell him straight 

and he looks a little disappointed until you tell him that you want to go on a date with him 

cause you treat me like I’m on your team and if that wasn’t the case I wouldn’t look at you like any of the others 

that date: a success

Johnny goes all out and he shows up at your door with roses, a shirt on and a reservation at a really nice restaurant that you always saw cute couples in

and it’s the first time you’ve started to see Johnny as more than one of the bros

probably because when you go back to yours after he asks to kiss you 

which makes butterflies fill you everywhere

and when he does kiss you it’s the best thing ever

he’s so soft and cute and sweet, and every date gets you closer to him

until after the fourth date, which is watching a movie at his by the way

he turns to you half way through and he is smiling absently until you meet his eyes and ask him whats on his mind 

and that’s how he becomes your boyfriend ~

#johnny seo scenario #johnny scenarios #nctwriters #johnny scenario #johnny seo reaction #johnny reaction #nct scenarios #nct reaction #nct reactions #nct smut #Johnny smut #Johnny seo smut

[dahniwitchoflight]

Alrighty, So I got through the beginning prologue of the epilogue and through the first 5 pages of Meat. 

Even though I did stream my stream of conciousness on twitch, im probbaly not gonna be posting that on youtube

Instead what I’ll be doing is writing down my thoughts and notes on tumblr after I stream each time

Speaking of, the next time I will be streaming is tomorrow April 29 at about 8pm EST for about an Hour again here: https://www.twitch.tv/dahnimae

the way my life schedule is now is I can probably do this for about an hour a day after work, so I think I can get through the epilogues quickly in nice digestible chunks

At least for Monday and Tuesday anyway, after that Ill have to make sure im not doing anything else

but anyways, here are the rough thoughts I had during the epilogue, up to the first 5 Pages of Meat:

First off, I got some thoughts from Rose about how the Heroic versus Just death system for immortals is apparently derived from an emotional value of what is “Good” or “Bad”, what is good or what is bad ultimately being derived from what someone or something “feels” is good or bad, so theres some subjectivity in that judgement, which makes sense considering how individuals are able to affect that judgement in homestuck canon, Aranea proposing her own individual morality onto the clock, as well as Caliborn just destroying the clock/idea of dividing things into good or bad

because Rose describes the system of describing what is canon or not canon or outside canon as being less emotional in nature than that of the of the god tier death clock

her exact words are “Good and bad are words that don’t mean anything, beyond a certain threshold of mortal consideration.” its not said outright but its basically implied

Speaking of, so Canon is made up of three “Pillars”

Truth

Relevance

Essentiality

now, truth is easy to distinguish from the other two, it’s the idea of reality. If something is true, that means it really happened. If something is a lie, that means it didn’t happen, or it wouldn’t happen, it does not exist.

Basically an idea of Hope versus Rage

Relevance and Essentiality are a little harder to seperate, and Rose doesn’t do much to seperate them either

but Relevance is tied to an idea of Context, it’s something that has meaning or importance to what is “currently” happening, the idea of the present conversation one is having, the current thoughts someone is thinking about, the object they are currently looking at or viewing, or just the exact point of focus of the current moment in time

something that is irrelevant is something were not looking at currently, something were not focusing on, or something that’s just not improtant or meaningful right now

basically an idea of Light versus Void

Essentiality is then an idea of a “must”, and idea, no matter when or where or how it happened. It Must have happened or it Must happen in the future. Its the one most closely tied to an idea of destiny, fate, or prerequisites for a more down to earth definition. In order to grow a plant, you MUST plant the seed.

The planting of the seed is essential to the plant ever growing in that spot, if no one plants the seed, the seed will never grow, and the plant will never exist. The plant’s entire existence depends upon that seed being planted.

something that is non essential, can still be true and relevant, the plant is a rosebush, or a tree with apples, or has green leaves versus purple leaves etc but if that exact property were to change into a different one, the core requisites of it’s existence does not change, it’s seed was still planted, it still grew into a plant. (within reason of course, but how essential something is does depend upon the context for why its essential, if its essential because its roots hold the ground together in the future allowing another event to happen, then it must be a plant with strong and deep earth fastening roots, what it is and why, is relevant to its essentiality, so the two are interwoven in a sense)

Basically an idea of Time and Space, but Rose doesn’t seperate them as neatly from Light and Void (she could have easily glossed them over into a single “importance” factor, but she didn’t)

it may be that the distinction itself is needed, but not necessarily a requisite to getting John to understand what she meant.

Essential, but not entirely Relevant to her current circumstances :)

but then she goes onto describe the different combinations of those three pillars and what they are and do

Inside Canon = It is True, it is somewhat Relevant, It is somewhat Essential

Relevance and Essentiality being treated as like percentages from 0-100%, inside canon requiring nonzero amounts for both, while Truth is more black or white, it either is True or is not True

Outside Canon = True

so the amount of relevance and essentiality can be nothing, or essentiality zero, but is must be True

and then Not Canon sort of overlaps what might have been two other categories, I guess the distinction of which doesn’t really matter for now, since were dealing with what is canon, not what isn’t canon

Not Canon = Untrue, with varying percentages of essentiality/relevance

I have my own ideas of what happens to other combos within the Homestuck mythos, theyre not complete but basically as follows:

True, Essential, Relevant (Canon Homestuck)

True, Not Essential, Relevant (Paradox Space Comics)

True, Essential, Not Relevant (Hiveswap)

True, Not Essential, Not Relevant (Outside of Canon)

Not True, Essential, Relevant (”Not Canon” = The Epilogues)

Not True, Not Essential, Relevant (”Not Canon” = Fanfiction/Audience Generated Content)

Not True, Essential, Not Relevant (”Not Canon” =  FriendSims)

Not True, Not Essential, Not Relevant (Not Homestuck)

That’s basically how I’m divvying up the majority of distinguishable homestuck aligned content into those three pillars anyway

Rose did also Call Truth the foundation for which Relevance and Essentiality can do their thing, and that did go into how in order for the Friendsims to flip from being not canon to really canon (Hiveswap) it just needs to flip the switch into True

same for Fanfiction of Homestuck/Audience generated content in general, flipping the switch into True makes the Paradox Space content, which is essentially ascended Fanfiction content

and then for things Outside of Canon, they have a tenuous position, because while as long as they remain True, they are still Canon, their Truth value remains conditional upon their values of Relevance and Essentiality, since the closer they dip into zero or negative values, the closer they drag True from flipping to Untrue.

To remain true, or better yet, to integrate into Canon proper, they need to prop up their Relevance and Essentiality values

They need to become the centre of attention, the point of current focus, and they need to have some impact on events in other parts of canon

and all who understand this also understand that characters inside the story don’t get to decide directly how relevant or essential they are to the story, the Audience (and the Author) do

Rose has the idea that the answer lies in the Audience and their expectations, and the audience’s expectations for any story boils down to: the Hero must defeat the Villain.

John is the Hero, Lord English is the Villain. John must defeat Lord English for those outside of Canon to become Canon once again. It’s self explanatory in both ways.

sidenote though, the way John must defeat Lord English is also hilariously self explanatory in both ways.

John will use the cursor Juju to defeat Lord English since it is the only thing that can defeat him. John won’t have to think about how to use it or when or where. Since the cursor Juju is essentially just a plot hole that John fills suddenly out of nowhere perfectly and with ease and immediately will solve the problem no real effort needed. 

John will defeat Lord English using the power of a literal Deus Ex Machina. (but a Deux Ex Machina that’s been symbolically hinted at being the secret weapon all along and which the audience is entirely aware will be the thing used to defeat LE it was more a matter of when then How, making it actually a Chekov’s Deus Ex Machina. And I guess the opposite nature of those two things equals out pretty nicely, The Deus Ex Machina is exactly that, an easy and simply solution to all of canon’s ills, but it feels earned instead of handed out randomly like a Chekov’s Gun would feel earned, while simply losing the difficulty of properly using a well set up Checkov’s Gun. Best of both worlds, worst of none)

But,

Different characters seem to have different thoughts on how best to solve the problem. Characters like Dirk it seems

Dirk seems to be operating under a sort of opposite position to Rose, that instead of propping up the audience’s expectations of the Hero, Dirk wants to prop up expectations of a Villain.

Though I’ve only gotten to page 5 of Meat, it seems pretty clear that Dirk’s intentions are to make either himself or Jane a Villainous character.

The reason being is because he may be aware that people can stick to stories for various reasons, including, either liking the villain a lot, or wanting the villain to Go Down. 

lots of people like Game of Thrones because of how much they hated Joffrey, I know I was that.

and so far, Lord English hasn’t actually been that much of passionately hated villain? Like that’s pretty clear to the story and characters themselves, why even go fight him? Oh because its technically necessary okay fine whatever I guess

Meanwhile, we have a figure in Homestuck that’s already a pretty untapped source of Passionate Villainy, that covers quite a lot of the bases of canon and not canon, Paradox Space, Hiveswap, Homestuck, Fanfiction, Friendsims (and I wouldn’t be passed saying probably these epilogues as well)

Doc Scratch. 

And Doc Scratch is pretty much a parallel of villainy of Lord English

Because where Lord English seems to physically embody certain characters, Doc Scratch seems to mentally embody them.

Caliborn, Equius, Gamzee and Dirk. 

and with all this talk of Ultimate Selves already happening, what happens when one small part of your ultimate self is tainted by this kind of existence? This being, this apparent ultimate villain, tainted by villainous desires, something you know should be rejected

Do you embrace it fully, and see no difference between this being and yourself, internally incorporating it into your ultimate self (Caliborn)

Do you submit that part of yourself to it? Essentially, “giving up” that part of yourself, excizing that slice of your ultimate self as “someone else’s ultimate self” and therefore cutting off it’s influence “Here have it, it’s yours if you want it”? (Equius)

Does your Soul get torn through it’s middle, split like a broken piece of glass? Half on one side, half on the other. A mirthful broken pair of ultimates. Dissociated from eachother enough to be considered seperate yet two halves of the whole, inseperable yet divided. (Gamzee)

Or do you allow “yourself” to be entirely overwritten by the other? Does one bad apple spoil the bunch? Does it infest and infect, slowly, piece by piece, cell by cell, like a virus spreading, changing, overlapping, until everything that was You, your ultimate self, your essential Being, is no longer what is was.

Will your Heart be Broken Dirk?

You make jokes about cutting pieces off yourself before it’s too late, like it’s the only solution. That piece of you is gone, it’s rotting, and it’s spreading fast. 

But you need someone else to do it for you now. Somehow, right now, you’re not building up the resolve to cut off your own head like you might have done before. Have their insidious roots taken hold in you that deeply? 

Destroy “Yourself” or be Destroyed by Yourself Dirk

But I guess it’s different when you’re just cutting off a piece of flesh representing “you” 

Are you more hesitant to cultivate or destroy your ultimate self itself? To suddenly force yourself to decide what kind of person you are? How does a computer program itself while it’s running? 

Ignorant of that fact that everyone is constantly doing that to themselves all the time with the choices they make, what they choose to do, or the kinds of people they decide to be?

People decide who they ultimately are with their own choices, they may not have access to directly fiddle with their ultimate selves as if it were a physical being under a microscope, but what most people do or what Dirk has the ability to do are functionally identical. He’s just overthinking it and getting too caught up in the pretentious philosophy of it all

#Homestuck #Meat or Candy #Epilogues #UPD8 #Dirk Strider

[mediatorofnone]

A reflection

I dont know how many of you will see this. But i just wanted somewhere to unload my thoughts, rather than let them eat myself up or twist into something else. Plus the end of the year always has me review myself.

The year was....hard....a friend gave up on me, i couldnt find a job, i moved into a house alone, i had my heart broken with my trust and i fell head over heels again only to know they will never return that emotion and i have a growing, lingering paranoia that people are forgetting about me and leaving me out of things despite constantly attempting to remind myself people have their own lives. Lets go over each

Regarding the friend thing. I was asking for too much. I vented about menial things but if i tried to make any comment it became a joke to them that it ended up annoying them. Granted i see it was a mistake now to come to them to talk about problems. Theres only so much negativity one person can take. I left them alone since they didnt want to talk. What really fucked me well off is when they dropped by a good couple of days later to tell me how they enjoyed the silence and not talking to me....imagine thinking someones your best friend and they tell you how great it is they havent had to talk to you. Felt like a spit in the face. I just. Up and outed. What point is there being friends with someone who says that? Thats being a bad friend. If i had to see things from his end maybe he just enjoyed the fact i hadnt come to him with complaints about my life(be it games or life) and worded it in the worst possible way. I wont know. All i know is i wont get an honest sorry. Dont think ive ever heard him say it tbh. The one fallout with that is that he was imo a central peice of the squadTM so its hard to join parties and such. As i know if i drink ill only get angry drunk and very loud and sarcastic with him. Ive yet to find a proper solution other than singular visits from people.

Job front. Its hard. Ive joined a group to help find me a job. Hopes are high but right now thanks to this end of year period the market is quiet. Ball is probably going to be running thanks to new year however. Alot of my applications are just being ignored. Ive tested alot of rewrites and at this point im considering lying about various experiences just to get somewhere. Never a call centre though, never again.

So i moved into a new smaller house too. My dad moved in with me but he practically lives with his girlfriend back in moira. I plan to takeover rent fully when i have a job. Theres no point in him paying when he doesnt stay. If im lucky maybe i could get a roommate. Never had one. But selection list is rather sparse. Everyone i know is shacking up with a significant other.

Speaking of siginificant others. The short and sweet is. I was into someone. They were into me. They lied about alot of shit. Important shit. Trust busted. Took me a while to get over it. Met someone else. They dont see me that way. Still enjoy their company. Still hurts that i cant be seen that way and im probably going to have to aggressively kill that emotion so i dont constantly set myself up for a fall. Im just worried that ill link into my paranoia and once i get my life back on track that people would have an interest in me only because of my said shit being together.

Speaking of paranoia ya boi has developed anxiety that people are turning against and leaving him out of shit and that if i try to talk about it, im only being attention seeking and complaining ans thus being annoying. Vicious cycle. But i feel ignored alot. Passed over. Like ive nothing to offer and not worth the time. It hurts and know its a pain im only making myself and its generating a venomous spite along with it. Im scared ill turn on everyone instead, being untrusting and such.

When it comes to my own mental health i dont know. Some days i feel like getting better. Others i wonder why im not dead. I wont kill myself because i no theres zero profit in it. I wouldnt feel any relief i think kd get. I would only hurts others. Theres nothing gained. People can rest easy on that part. It just leaves me feeling trapped. I cant harm myself either. Cant bring myself to. Instead i think i subconciously treat myself poorly in other ways since i cant. Anyway. Point being. Suicide isnt an option for me.

I hope 2019 is better. It has to be. Only i can make it better. When im better. I wonder who will crawl out of the woodwork. Id have to be careful. If you made it this far. Wow. You listened. Thanks. Happy new year to you and i hope it all goes well.

Stu

#personal #me #tw #i guess

[alicedoessurveys]

165 Questions

(this took a couple days to complete so I don't know if the answers will even make sense haha)

did you pay attention to anything you were being taught in health class?   we didn't really have a ‘health class’ at our school. we had a whole day once a term where our usual lessons were cancelled and we were all split off into different groups to learn all that shit. i used to stay home on those days because the routine change sent my anxiety sky high

what are your feelings regarding shopping?   i like it when I'm in the right mood

do you think people have any misconceptions about you? i think people sometimes mistake me for being rude or stuck up when its actually that I'm quite shy

have you ever worn fishnets? Nope

do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? my sister’s house

do you believe prayer really works? i do, especially after this week

do you have one best friend who is always there for you? kind of

describe one of your most emotional farewells. not really had any emotional farewells

have you ever been tied up? eh, nope.. well not in a serious way :’)

how many times have you been cussed out? i dont think i really have been in a genuine way, only ever jokingly

does it bother you when people ask personal questions? not really, if it did i wouldn't have a tumblr just for surveys haha

do you know anyone who’s been in jail? dont think so nope

have you ever considered acupuncture? Nope i cant do needles

have you ever watched the same sex undress? only when it happens in films/tv but never watched a guy get fully naked aha

have you ever seen the last person you kissed cry? Nope

have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Yeah, but only a handful of times

do you enjoy mario games? not really played Mario games tbh

do you think that necessities should be free? (ex. food, toilet paper) not sure

does it bother you when dogs lick you? i love my dogs but i don't really like being licked, i don't like the feeling of it especially on my face or feet

do you feed your pets human food? Occasionally, but we always double check before that its nothing poisonous or anything

which is worse: being sexist or racist? dont even get me started. They're both as bad as each other. The thing about racism is that its never picked up on when it happens to a white person. We experience it too, but for some reason it doesn't count if you're white.. Racism is NEVER okay and it affects ALL races. White people, black people and every skin colour in between.

do you think suicide is selfish? Only if the way you do it affects someone else. for example, jumping in front of a train or car, or throwing yourself of the top floor of a busy shopping centre in front of loads of people. thats when it gets selfish because youre forcing other people to witness something that could be potentially traumatising and could disturb them for the rest of their lives. Especially when it involves jumping in front of a vehicle because that driver has to live their life knowing that someone died because they hit them with whatever they were driving. personally, if someone jumped in front of my car and ended up dying i would never drive again and it would ruin my life. so yeah, thats when suicide is selfish, and this was a long answer haha

would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? No

what are the most embarrassing songs in your itunes library? probably glee songs

how picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? seems I'm not fussy enough from past experience :’)

do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? i wouldn't know

in your opinion, is it ever okay to get back with an ex? depends on the situation and why you broke up

what’s the first animal you go to see at the zoo? Whichever is closest to the entrance. we always need a system when we go to the zoo so we see everything haha

what’s the strangest or rarest creature you’ve seen at a zoo? when i went to australia zoo there were loads of creatures i didn't even know existed and i cant remember any of the names

what animal is at a zoo that really, in your opinion, shouldn’t be? im not sure. i think as long as the animals have a good way of life, are treated right and are happy then theres no reason why they shouldn't be at the zoo. and if being there means they're protected and can help the species not to go extinct then thats awesome!

do you like zoos or aren’t you bothered? i like the a trip to the zoo :) I'm gonna love taking a foster kid to the zoo

i offer you a cigarette, you say… no, and do not smoke anywhere near me

why do you think you were put on this earth? i haven't quite figured it out yet

is it ever okay to hit a child? when is this? it is never okay to hit a child

do you think violence in video/computer games influences the nation also? Maybe slightly, i think it can de-sensitise us and make us see violence as more normal. BUT saying that, i play gta and it doesn't make me want to go round punching/shooting people so it depends on the person i guess..

are you in any shape or form, racist? No. i don't understand it at all. at the end of the day, we’re all humans no matter where were born, what our nationality is, skin colour is. It doesn't matter. A person is a person.

are you in any shape or form, sexist? again it doesn't matter what gender you are, you're still a human being

how do you think the world will end? as a christian, i believe it ends when God decides it will end.

what natural phenomenon do you find the most beautiful? Aurora borealis or however you spell it

would you kill someone who killed a child? how about YOUR child? i dont think i could ever kill someone.

what is your favorite cover of a song? pretty much everything Pentatonix does. I LOVE their cover of ‘Hallelujah'

have you ever been in love with someone who was fatally ill? neve been in love

have you ever received or given a make-over? Yup, received a few. given a few, my male best friend was the best because he let us do a photoshoot of him in full make up and i still have the pictures :’)

do you know anyone who is HIV+? not that i know of

have you ever been to a desert? no, i was supposed to go riding camels in the desert while on holiday but i got sick and spent two days stuck in the hotel in bed

do you know any trans* people? Nope

what is your favorite beatles song? let it be.. is that them? Idk

what is the poorest you have ever been? Teenage years when i got £70 to last a month but it basically all went on my gym membership and bills.

i’m sure you know of the gamer fad on youtube. who’s your favorite? dont really follow any gamers, i like watching pointless blog play sims though

is there something written on your shirt right now? nope, its a plain black shirt

what is your favorite song to play on guitar hero or rock band? i dont play either of those

where do you find the surveys you take? i follow a load of survey Tumblrs and steal ‘em of there

what’s one weird/annoying thing your pet(s) tend to do? Sit at the door and bark every time they see a squirrel. or a bird. or a shadow. Literally anything and one of them will bark, then they all start barking and having four dogs barking its an absolute headache.

what’s your favorite song by your favorite artist?   oh i cant answer that, i have too many favourites.

do you have an “original character?” i dont really get the question

what about a persona/fursona?   wut..?

do you ever MAKE your own surveys? nope im not very original

why’s it the woman who have to give birth anyway if the man is physically stronger in most cases? first of all, rude. secondly, its all Eve’s fault.. read the bible

do you get good internet where you live? yeah its alright most of the time

ever had a cavity? how many? Never

ever broken a tooth? Nope

what did you do on the playground at your school as a child? i liked playing make believe. me and my friend in primary school came up with our own pretend kids tv show called witches and fairies where she played a witch, i played a fairy and we had adventures :’)

are you into comics? a bit

did you ever have computer disc games you played as a kid? Sims!! Rollercoaster tycoon & zoo tycoon.

what do you think of people who have therapists? Brave. I've had a few therapists during school/college so i know how difficult it is and i gave up on therapy so i really admire people who stick with it

do you have any of those adult coloring books? i have a few, my favourite is one full of the original Alice in wonderland artwork. ALSO i found out the other day theres a fantastic beasts one and i rally want it

ever ridden an elephant?   Nope

deserts: dreary or beautiful?   i think they can look beautiful in pictures but i imagine they'd be dreary irl

ever seen a panda?   only in pictures

what kind a camera do you have?   my phone is my main camera. i do own a Sony a290 dslr that i have to buy for college but i don't use it anymore

do you have stretch marks? where? don’t be shy, they’re tiger stripes! i do, on my thighs

lobsters: cool or scary? Scary

opposoms: total vermin or cute? i dont know what they are

what tv channel dominated your childhood?   Cbbc

ever actually seen a snake in the wild? dont think i have nope

have you ever had a PET snake? what kind? NO! Snakes scare me

ever had an encounter with a snapping turtle? they’re scary! i have not nope

do you like oatmeal? Nope

wherever you live, have you ever seen your national bird? does England have a national bird?!

ever had a reptile as a pet that you had to feed crickets? Nope. i would like a bearded dragon, but having to feed it live bugs freaks me out. even just the thought of having the bugs in my house i cant even

ever play hearthstone? dont know what that is..

ever gone hunting? biggest thing you’ve ever shot?   No. and I'm disgusted by people who do hunt

how about fishing? biggest thing you’ve ever caught?   i used to fish with my grandad when i was a kid, but i only ever caught small ones

coolest place you’ve ever been fishing?   Idk I've only ever been to lakes on camp sites

which is cooler: african or asian elephant? i didn't know there was a difference

craziest thing you’ve ever eaten? i dont eat crazy stuff, I'm too scared of eating crazy stuff

what’s in a camel’s back? Idk ask the camel

steve irwin: foolish for messing around with animals or brave for teaching us? Brave. i love Steve irwin, i think he did great work and its a shame he died. I've been to his zoo in australia and I’ve never seen happier animals in a zoo. we spent at least half an hour watching the tigers play in the water with the zoo keepers and you could tell there was a genuine love between them.

what do you think of people who put their whole life on social media? If thats what they want to do then fine.

don’t you think it’s a bit deceptive to wear a push-up bra?   nope. if wearing a push up bra makes you feel better about yourself and gives you confidence then you do it!

do you truly believe we came from chimps? No

well, what do you think of extra bones and even organs in our bodies? why do we have them?   Idk

if you could choose anyone to be your father, who would it be? my dad

weirdest video game you’ve ever played? i dont think I've played any weird games tbh

we’re having a pig-pickin’! whatcha eating? a what?

ever been on a scary hay ride? no I'm a chicken

ever been to a castle?   Yuppie live like half an hour away from Warwick castle so I've been there a lot in my life

what’s your favorite kind of penguin? rockhopper- we had to make penguin masks in college for one of the shows the actors were doing so i made a mask of a rockhopper penguin

whales. should they be allowed in sea world? if they're treated right then yeah

ever seen an albino? whether it be human or animal?   yeah there was someone in my school who was albino

what do you think of the song “miss jackson” by panic! at the disco? Don't think I've heard it

what is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? it used to be a picture of me and him but i don't know if he's changed it

do you feel comfortable singing in front of others? No

do you like using big words when you talk? No I tend to say words wrong and make a fool of myself

do you EVER use caps lock? Rarely. i cant read things very well if they're written in capitals

are you loud when you’re having sex?  Doubt it

have you ever wanted to drop out of school? yes, i hated school but in England you're not allowed to just drop out

when was the last time you watched south park? dont think I've ever watched it

are you italian? nope

are you interested in photography at all? Yes i enjoy taking photos and used to be super into it but when i studied it in college i had such an awful time it kinda ruined it

any survey takers that annoy you on tumblr? nope

do you like bob marley? hes alright, I've not really listened to his music much so i don't really have an opinion

can you talk to your parents about anything without them judging or bickering at you? my mom, pretty much yeah. dad, not so much.

are you interested in art? a bit, not a lot though

don’t you think we’re spending too much money on exploring the mere theory of climate change? no i think were not spending enough. we should all be way more concerned with global warming than we are

everyone always wants to know your favorite animal. what’s your SECOND favorite? i dont have a first favourite so i cant have a second favourite. i just have a big list of favourites

who’s your favorite disney character? again, i don't have a favourite there are too many. i tend to like the sidekicks in the movies more than the main characters like Sven & Olaf from frozen, Pascal & Maximus from Tangled etc

have you ever taken the eharmony personality quiz? Nope

do you take vitamins? if so, what kinds? Vitamin C

how much was your prom dress? what’s the most you’d spend? my prom dress wasn't very expensive, I can't remember exactly how much it was. I still have it in my wardrobe but I don't like it 

would you marry someone of a different religion? Possibly, if i loved them enough. and if they understood i wouldn't change my religion

how did you learn the word “fuck”? probably at school

if you could make one of your enemies your best friend, who would it be? i dont have enemies so idk

what is the last movie you saw in theaters? Passengers

have you ever got into a wreck?   not a serious one nope

do you think you are an argumentative person? Not really, unless its something I'm passionate about or if I'm hurt by something

can you admit when you’re wrong?   Yeah

are you easily confused? very :’)

do you think you would make a good wife/husband?   i think i would

have you ever caught a butterfly?   not on purpose.

have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? nope i dont drink so i wouldn't try make anyone else

do you like being kissed on the neck? no, it feels gross

favorite song by the band the offspring? never heard of them

how many times each morning do you press the snooze button? i dont set an alarm often and when i do i don't press snooze

when you go out to eat, what sides do your order with your food? normally fries

what video game or computer game are you best at? sims

how do you normally come across new music? listening to the radio, or when ads or videos use a song i like the sound of i find out what it is

what subject in school do you feel is the least necessary? English, I've never had to analyse a book or poem in my life since leaving school

do you enjoy power outages or do you get annoyed? no they're annoying

are you pretty politically correct? idk probably

have you ever behaved like a stalker?   probably online yeah :’)

do you appreciate other people’s opinions?   depends what its about

if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be?   pet name for myself or for an actual pet..? I've already decided when i get my own dog i want to call it moose

do you care what’s going on in the world? i care, but i don't make an effort to find out cause its usually all depressing stuff

how many partners is too many? at one time or like in a lifetime..? lifetime it doesn't matter but if you have more than one parter at once then thats too many

do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose?   nope

do you prefer boys to shave down there?   Idk

how much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)?   she knows its non existent

are any of your siblings married? what are their spouse’s names?   Nope ut she lived with her partner Tom

have you ever had a pet bird?   Yeah, we used to own to cockatoos called bobby and beauty

how many times have you moved in your lifetime? 2

if you could get one piercing and one tattoo, where would you want them?   dont want any piecrings. i have a tattoo already but i want another one on my ankle/foot of a lighthouse

would you consider yourself to be adventurous?   Nope

has any part of your house ever been flooded?   dont think so

is there anyone that you’re worried about right now? who and why? our foster baby, he's two weeks old tomorrow but he's still in hospital with drug withdrawals so he cant come home yet

if you won a lot of money, would you donate any of it? to what organization would you donate it?                                                                                              I would donate to dogs home or a mental health charity

describe the best friend you’ve ever had, or the best person you’ve ever known.   I cab right now 

have you ever adopted a stray animal?   We've adopted a few dogs in my lifetime but none recently

what time did you wake up this morning?   about 9am

ever wonder if you’re someone’s everything?   yeah, i cant see anyone getting to know me and being like ‘shes perfect for me’ like srsly I'm too much of a mess

would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde?   not platinum nope

what is your mom’s middle name?   Anne

do you know the color of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend’s eyes? n/a

have you had your wisdom teeth out?   Nope

your appendix?   yeah, mine burst when i was two years old and tried to kill me haha

#survey #long