#anyway no negativity for me today that's enough of that

[vimbry]

in a constant fight between "yes it's sad to say you will romanticize, all the things you've known before, it was not not not so great" and "call me sentimental, but I want to go back, and commemorate the place with a historical plaque"

#tmbg #I guess in a way both ''puppet head'' and ''canajoharie'' are about viewing negative experiences in hindsight #but ''puppet head'' is being close enough to still approach the memories without rose-tinted glasses and be glad you're beyond them #because there's only better things ahead. but also savvy enough to know that nostalgia catches up with everyone and to try and avoid it #''canajoharie'' may be about a possibly misplaced fondness for a terrible time that strikes an emotional chord of longing with you #perhaps because the experience is mixed up in positive memories and still shaped who you are today #that's what I get out of ''where a rocket ship experiment went awry. when the prototype exploded on the launching site'' anyway #to me it sounds like a metaphor about a formative/coming-of-age moment that didn't pan out as well as the narrator hoped #but it's part of their life regardless

[orcelito]

Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,

I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.

#speculation nation #this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off. #to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one #but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time. #my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here. #the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years #my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most. #im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession. #it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous. #but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole. #maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth. #that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing. #idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death #to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole? #i dont fucking think so! #yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight #even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death #whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life. #it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!! #and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this #bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about. #but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger... #and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol #anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes. #but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen... #negative/ #i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.

[rubiesintherough]

.

#(( ooc. )) #venting tw #negativity tw #i know ive been bitching about this a lot lately but just let a girl vent pls #husband just got home and said 'you look tired you should go lie down ' #and i told him i cant. i have too much housework to do. 'well lay down after that ' #cant. because then i have more housework after that. #and he got all huffy at me like i was being dramatic #and he said 'how am i supposed to snuggle up with you if you arent laying down? c #and i shot back ' who's going to do the housework if i dont ' #and he rolled his eyes. straight up rolled his eyes. #this is the man that is constantly telling me to just ask him for more help. just make a list #yelled at me and stormed out of the house whej i told him to pls just use his eyes #bc i dont have time to make him a list of chores #and also the man who if i do ask him to do smth it doesnt get done #examples just from today. he was heading into town and i asked him to please bring the recycling with him. he didnt. #he yells at me for doing the cat litter bc its bad for my asthma. but then leaves it until its bad enough i have to do it #bc its unfair to the cats to expect them to use a litter box that bad. and then he gets mad at me for not just asking him to do it #like. its in the bathroom. right next to the toilet. he has to look at it when hes taking a shit every day. and youre telling me #he doesnt notice it? i have to remind him??? #and then i get yelled at and reprimanded for just doing it myself #' ASK FOR HELP DAMMIT! ' #i do. i do all the fucking time. i ask you to empty the garbage bc bending over makes my back scream. but you dont #and i have to power through and do it. #i ask you to bring the recycling into town to drop off. and as soon as you leave i find out you didnt even gather it up. #i ask you to please clear out the bathtub drain. for two weeks. and you brush it off until the day i decide to #do it myself and you get so passive aggressive about it and ' no ILL DO IT. the tool is back in my mom's room #guess I'll just go WAKE HER UP FROM HER NAP so i can grab it since you need it done! ' #im so tired of asking and then just being disappointed anyway. #if im gonna get yelled at anyway id rather just do it all myself so at least its done. and not sit there and beg for help and do it anyway

[natsmagi]

It's incredibly tough because we no longer have social media that's suitable for fandom interactions the way livejournal was. Individual journals + interest communities which could be easily locked/unlocked as you wanted. People had to search out what they wanted etc. Twitter and tumblr just can't do it (and let's not even mention tiktok)

ITS KIND OF SAD......... i was never really on livejournal when i was younger bc i was like 10 and did not know what the internet was capable of offering but even just being on deviantart in the early 2010s gave me a strong sense of community and support...... just a bunch of hobbyists doing their own little things and joining those groups deviantart had was alot of fun for lil kid me!

the best substitute we've got for livejournal these days is like. discord. but thats so annoying especially when theyre specifically locking content behind a discord invite since many of us may not even know if we vibe there!! and its intimidating to be thrown into a group chat with people who already have established bonds ONTOP of not even knowing if youll get along😭

while i think tumblr is relatively good for fandom posting and such i definitely wouldnt call it the best place to make friends with similar interests...... since its hard to really like. have actual conversations with people on here since the ask feature is pretty one-sided, tags arent meant to be responded to a majority of the time, the comments feature barely gets used and the dms system is wonky as hell. and twitter is just a cesspool of reactionary people who dont think before they tweet and are just waiting to make their next callout post, but god is it a good place to hold a conversation and bond with people................ you just cant win these days huh

#proud of myself for not being a tiktok user also #ask #anyone else think todays internet is strangely lonely #like obv i have internet friends that i hang out with frequently and love #but it just feels like it used to be so much easier to make friends ??? but maybe im just getting old and out of touch ???? #idk!!!! its so hard finding people to relate to these days for me!!!!! #because it doesnt feel like people care as much for just sharing their love for things anymore....... #either because people are so fixated on the negatives or theyre just drawing whats popular #and not drawing what they wanna draw #which is a bit sad but i get it. capitalism fucking sucks and u gotta do what u gotta do to get by but man. it just sucks #again though. i could just be getting old #BUT ANYWAY. THATS ENOUGH LETTING PEOPLE KNOW IM A REAL HUMAN WITH REAL FEELINGS FOR THE DAY #LOVE OVERSHARING ON THE INTERNET #IM DRAWING HALF-NAKED GIRLS RN THERES NO TIME TO GET EXISTENTIAL #I FEEL DIZZY

[bugsbenefit]

.

#killing myself and everyone else my grandma who we're taking care of was smart enough to go visit someone at the hospital #without putting a mask on #so she gave my mom covid for christmas 😑🎉 #pack it up everybody christmas is canceled #time for my immunocompromised dad and me to hole up in our rooms for the next week and pray to fuck he didn't catch it too #this is funnier if you're european btw because christmas is on the 24th not the 25th. so she literally got covid on christmas. nice #if it didn't cancel the whole holiday for us it'd be funnily impressive she managed to get it on the exact date #bc she tested yesterday and was still negative #also my grandma came over to us today. while still sick. to bring us a pan. and she was surprised we didn't want to talk to her at the door #...wow #anyways. christmas over for me this year #i usually only celebrate with my mom dad and grandparents and none of us are religious at all #but this blows so much christmas to new years is usually the only time everyone has time to see each other :( #anyways time to wait and see if my dad and i will get it too i guess #i rarely do the good old tag vent tumblr staple so lets shake it up for the holidays

[burke-juliet]

shadow and bone netflix killing off david before he got to marry genya and be part of the triumvirate is my villain origin story

#finally finished sab2 #hello???? what the fuck???? #i was like it can't be already but apparently so??? #at first i thought if there's no body i refuse to believe he's already dead #but the more i think about it the more it doesn't make sense that he's nowhere to be found after the darkling died #are you fucking serious?? isn't it bad enough that he has to die and now they just decided to speed up the thing? #it's already bad enough that they changed so much of the story but i draw the line at killing david so soon #i really hope they surprise me and he's somehow still alive but honestly the bar is on the floor at this point #anyway. sorry for the rant and negativity i know there's also many other things to focus on but #they REALLY didn't have to #there was literally no reason for them to do that #shadow and bone #david kostyk #grishaverse #jess.txt #this entry is really like dear diary today a bitch tested me #also if they pull something like this with matthias too i swear to god

[toastsnaffler]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game' #fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!! #i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all #literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt #if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i. #all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion #i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!! #dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle #i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool #and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it #i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!! #why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add #and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3 #man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk- #to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want #ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever. #might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go #.vent #listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing

[hecckyeah]

.

#just feeling very. emotional about a swimsuit #this is all about body image etc so if that’s not your cup of tea just scroll along <3 #so #I bought a new swimsuit today and it’s in a larger size than I’ve ever needed bc ya girl is going through some weird stuff #that’s been making me gain weight again #after I lost a ton in 2020 #but anyways #I haven’t needed a new swimsuit in a while so I went conservative/practical and got a one piece #and usually. trying on anything over a women’s XL and realizing it fits #would start me panicking. a lot #but I…..didn’t??? #it’s not the best #it’s kind of cheap and the chesticle area is a bit saggy and it definitely highlights things i didn’t want it to #but my reaction to the mirror wasn’t anything negative #it was just like. oh. okay #that’s a swimsuit and it’s sturdy enough so I can go tubing with my friends and it has spaghetti straps so I can tan #because honestly. who cares??? #I’ve been so perceptive of the way I process how other people look that it spilled over into how I view myself #because if a girl shows up at the beach with belly rolls my first thought is. NOTHING #I don’t think about it #I don’t think hurray I don’t think yuck I just. she exists #and so do i #and I want to be healthy for my own purposes so that I’m not winded by walking a couple miles #so that I can run and enjoy it #not to look skinny #and when I tell you this is REVOLUTIONARY for me #aka it’s only changed in the last 2-3 MONTHS #idk. #I just am happy finally and it’s not gonna be easy but I think I feel better than I ever have about my appearance #call it body neutrality if you will

[possiblytracker]

pick one commission option (entirely theoretical just help me decide)

sketch page - several loose sketches of character expressions, poses etc. on one canvas with optional colour, amount you get scales with price

"grab bag" - give a character, pwyw over a certain price and ill draw one or several random pieces of art depending on value. allows for a small amount of specification (i.e. avoiding certain types of art, styles, etc) but otherwise i get to have fun with it

#whats up i spent a chunk of the early afternoon organising my art to-do list i know what im doing now #starting to think abt comms already since the only thing between me and opening them now is the backlog #and uuhhhh my bank account is in the negatives!!!!! wahoo!!!!! #along with a bunch of other shit but i digress #will post more about The Circumstances when i finally scrape a post together but until then help me out... #i feel like offering both of these might get overwhelming so im trying to narrow my options #the Other things on my docket so far are regular fullbodies (ofc) binary brush minis and icons (pride themed for june) #ANYWAY enough thinking abt drawing i gotta actually get started for today dfkhDH

[loyalhorror]

tonight on "I feel like shit at 3am": I feel like shit and it's 3am

#rat.exe #I'm not going to get into it because I don't need anyone worrying about me. I have enough to deal with. #(You will note that I'm prioritising my own mental health there and not someone else's.) #(This isn't a 'if people worry about me I did something wrong' thing it's 'if people worry about me I have to deal with it') #But anyway I've felt shit for hours and I'm too restless to sleep. #And I keep relapsing today which is fucking annoying and is going to make therapy tedious on Monday unless I lie. #A lot of us were cofronting earlier and it left me super flat and washed out and I just haven't perked up since. #And now I'm awake and thinking about how goddamn unfair it all is. How anyone could have died but it had to be them. #How I can't remember them at will. #How I don't cry until I do and even then I couldn't tell you what I'm feeling. #And how if I keep on living the price will be losing people. I am always going to lose more people. #And I wonder what the point is. And I wonder if the point is worth it. #And I wonder how stupid it is to talk about this somewhere anyone can see. #negative// #depression// #self harm tw // #suicidal ideation //

[orcelito]

So I found out upon checking my email this morning that the therapy appointment isn't in the health building like I thought, but rather in the basement of a boy's only dorm further north

Which brings up two problems: that's even further away than I'd accounted for, and I find it SUPREMELY uncomfortable to go to a boy's only dorm for therapy, even if the office is in one of the general areas.

I'd already been conceding on the matter of agreeing to talk to a man, since I'm generally uncomfortable with talking to men I don't know, but it was the soonest appointment I could get... so I agreed to it, but finding out it's in the boy's only dorm is just Too Much. Not only would it make it even harder to get there, but my skin just kinda crawls thinking about baring my fuckin heart in a place so thoroughly meant for guys. Like it's a place I don't belong, which REALLY does not help give the comfort kinda required of such an appointment.

I called the office asking if the appointment could be set up on zoom (bc it mentioned it in the email), but the therapist was staunch on it being in-person, so I rescheduled with a different person for the 13th. Bc if this dude isn't gonna be understanding with my discomfort with the location, like fuckin hell I'm gonna let myself be emotionally vulnerable with him. Bet he was thinking I was being too picky like "Oh it's a stupid Girl who can't handle being around Men" like sorry I have a healthy fear of guys I don't know 😋😋😋😋😋 if U have a problem with it then change society so talking to unknown men doesn't feel like walking in a minefield. Thanks.

#speculation nation #so. no appointment today. i asked the receptionist just to be Sure of the location for the one next week #and yeah it's not gonna be in a fucking boy's only dorm #genuinely why the hell did they schedule me with someone there. ugh. #bit of a bummer but i do feel like i dodged a bullet #bc if the dude isnt gonna be understanding about this. why would he be understanding about other things? #bc ultimately this comes down to an accomodation for anxiety. he may think it's senseless but it's real to me. #being around men i dont know is just so uncomfortable. makes me so nervous. and Especially at a boy's college dorm... #if the guy cant concede to that then i cant trust him to be understanding of my other Issues. so it's better like this. #really fuckin annoying though. but i cant say i'm disappointed to have the extra time in my morning. #so it's... fine. i'll manage. im just vaguely disgruntled by it all. #negative/ #Probs. im certainly complaining enough. #& pls dont come at me with the 'not all men' shtick. i Know majority of men are just normal people #but even among normal men i sometimes just feel like a hunk of meat to them #once i know a man & know hes not gonna try to hit on me or be creepy to me then i'm just fine #but unknown men. anything could happen. even an okay man could make me uncomfortable if he's overly friendly or hits on me #this is just basic self preservation ok. if youre a small 'girl' you learn very young to be careful with these things. ok. #anyways so that's My morning lol. ugh

[tafadhali]

On the one hand testing positive for flu made me feel slightly less idiotic about wasting so much time going to the doctor today

On the other hand it’s unclear if I have flu now or had flu when I was last sick a month ago and am just still testing positive… but either way there is absolutely nothing to do about it!

So it’s feeling kind of like a net zero in terms of actionable information

#i have basically never had a useful sick visit as an adult #I did want to rule out COVID given that my roommate just started testing negative #so that’s good #I have no respiratory or sinus symptoms just like the last two times I was sick #which just makes me feel completely unsure if I’m sick at all #but I do have a sore throat and earache along with all the headaches and fatigue #and was kind of hoping that no matter how mild I had ANYTHING treatable by antiobiotics #so that I wasn’t just facing the next nine straight days of working feeling vaguely like shit #my boss is at the doctor today for her second or third sinus infection and earache this month #so it seemed worth checking out #anyway i feel like the last time i was sick was enough weeks ago that it's safer to assume that i actively have flu now

[strangerblurbs]

A story in which an author projects her OCD onto Eddie Munson. Featuring Steve being a helpful [boy]friend.

Sometimes words just stuck with him. Eddie wasn't always aware of when it happened, and no one else really caught on either. Often he'd hear a word, and repeat it over and over in his head. Sometimes, he'd hum it until the melody of the word left him. Most commonly, he would find himself writing out the word with his finger. He didn't always realize he was doing it, and it wasn't always noticeable until his nail accidentally dug into his skin. He'd trace words—letter by letter—, using the tip of his right index finger as a pen on the canvas of the pad of his thumb.

It wasn't typically an issue. Sure, it got annoying when his brain kept a word on loop. It hindered his thinking and focus, but he figured he kept up well enough that it wasn't an issue to share with others. The writing wasn't a social hindrance in the slightest, so he really never felt compelled to point it out to anyone. If anything, it made him feel more like he was paying attention, because he was hearing the words and writing them down. He's pretty sure he remembered a teacher once telling him writing down information would help him retain it better.

Eddie wasn't sure what to make of his habit. He wasn't usually aware of when he was doing it, only noticing when he looked down at his hand or needed to use his hand for something. He couldn't quite pinpoint why he did it either. It just happened. On several occasions when he was a little younger, he would try to pay attention to when he did the writing. He still couldn't decipher a common theme among the words or pacing. It just happened, and at this point he accepted that. He also couldn't recall doing it as a young child. It just began one day in his adolescence, and he couldn't seem to shut it off.

Steve caught him in a trance. He heard the word "freak" earlier. It wasn't in relation to him, but it was enough of a reminder of the times it had been. The word looped is his mind. Eddie's brows were furrowed, and his expression worried. He sat on the couch, legs pulled into himself, one hand under his chin, the other loosely near his face. He jolted when Steve waved his hand in his face to pull his attention. "Hey man. Where's your head at?" Steve watched as Eddie's right hand began to fidget. Not that Steve could tell, but Eddie had fixated on the word "where". Upon closer look, Steve noticed only Eddie's index finger was moving, but the motion was so quick that it caused his entire hand to shake. At the same time, Eddie acknowledged Steve's presence. "Oh, hey. Sorry. I was just thinking." He blinked a few times, lightly shaking his head as if his brain was clearing the thoughts like an Etch A Sketch.

Once Eddie looked more settled, Steve sat down beside him. Eddie couldn't figure out why Steve had such a look of concern on his face. "You do that a lot, you know. The whole stuck in your head thing. It's not bad to think, but after what you've been through—after what we've all been through—I worry when I see someone too in their head. Are you okay, man? Your hand is all fidgety, and you do that a lot too. Is that a nervous tick or something?" Eddie just stared at him for a second. After dealing with the Upside Down together, he'd learned to not trust his perception of Steve. He still hadn't expected the guy to be so caring, so perceptive.

"Uh yeah, man. I'm okay. I, uh, I was just remembering some stuff, and the thoughts wouldn't stop coming. I'm good now though." His brain ejected the word "freak", but his hand caught it. He began to write it. At this point, he knew what he was doing, but he wanted to focus on his conversation with Steve. It would be too much effort to assess the action and make himself stop, so he ignored it and continued. Steve didn't look convinced. They looked at each other for a moment before Steve began to hum. Eddie recognized it as Queen's Somebody To Love. He was going to question it until he felt warmth on his hand. The movement of his index finger stopped as he adjusted his hand to link with Steve's.

He knew the song choice was likely because Queen was one of the bands they both enthusiastically had in common, and that was nice in itself. Eddie knew Steve wouldn't understand just how perfect of a choice it was. Music had always been an outlet for Eddie, but it wasn't until the last few years that he'd realized how much the repetition of lyrics calmed him. He relaxed, unfolding his legs and leaning into Steve. As the song came to an end, he found himself humming along to the outro. His brain was still on a loop, but the song lyrics were soothing. It was a good distraction for the time being, and Eddie tried hard to stay in that moment for as long as he could.

#I'm not sure this will make sense to anyone but I needed to write it #I read a couple really poor portrayals of OCD today and considered making a post on my main blog #instead I channeled my frustration into inspiration to write #this is entirely based in my own experience #I do this frequently #I don't have a word for it and no one really has an explanation for it but I've seen online forums of people saying they do the same #I and most people attribute it to OCD #part of why I included the line about Eddie not doing it as a child is because OCD symptoms often do not appear until later in adolescence #personally I've had OCD symptoms including the finger writing since I was very young but for Eddie I wanted to write it as a development #I also didn't want to write it as an entirely negative thing #finger writing doesn't really impact my life. no one I'm around ever notices it or if they do it's not important enough to mention #I genuinely think it helps me memorize information because I'm hearing it and writing it #the repeating thoughts suck #especially when it's a bad word I'm stuck on #but I prefer word loops to the dark intrusive thoughts I also get #anyway OCD is a struggle. it is time consuming. it is energy consuming. it is tiring. #it is also extremely misunderstood and misrepresented in media #it is a real mental disorder and there many more symptoms than just the stereotype of cleaning and organization #not everyone experiences those and not every clean or organized person has OCD #do your research if you portray a mental illness you don't have and don't make generalizations #I will get off my soap box now #this piece of work is more of a vent than anything and Eddie is my outlet of projection #this made me feel better to write though #also Steddie as Queen fans supremacy #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson

[awkward-smirks]

.

#not to be negative bc life is finally ok for once #but i broke my glasses today which brings on the whole issue of getting new ones under my own healthcare plan now #and this stress is on top of my whole dilemma of 'are my friends distancing themselves from me? do they even want to be friends anymore??' #and idk this has been bottling up for months(???) now #and then work is like.... giving me so much anxiety bc idk what i'm doing and i feel so so stupid... :( #and my team has been so kind to me but my anxiety is like 'but they'll get tired of u eventually' #like..... it's their job to train me and i'm trying my best but holyyyyyy fck man i'm not good enough for this role #like i'm SO SO LUCKY AND GRATEFUL to have this job right out of college but ohhhh my god i have never felt dumber #i miss my life where i could just fit in w my friends' schedules bc i was free but now idk if i'm worth it to fit into theirs now #god talk about third world problems #anyways my glasses breaking was just the last straw for me lmfaooooooo im going to go cry now #im so :// #anyways nighty night !! #sandy rambling

[peribirb]

late night / early morning ramble

#hi sorry for all the mental breakdowns on main lately I've been going through it. i think maybe the Prozac isn't working #anyways this one's less dramatic: #i really don't know why catching feelings is tearing me up like this this time like #i can usually handle it but I'm just beating myself up about it now #I'm fluctuating between feeling like a creep for thinking that way #and then immediately hitting myself with the negative self image shit #“how dare you think that. you're not good enough for [REDACTED] you're not good enough to be in anybody's life like that” #and then surprisingly all that accomplishes is making me feel worse about it lol #ugh. i really gotta work on that self image shit. i gotta work on myself in a lotta ways. #step one is trying to get weed today and determining whether or not that fixes all my problems instantly #vent #delete later #i should really start journaling or some shit so i stop dumping everything here lmao

[rnaryjune]

happy for all of you who were able to make therapy work but i dont think it'll be for me, thanks

#personal #i tried my first therapy appt today #i kept getting interrupted and i dont think she was actually listening because she went off base a few times with her questions #i got fed up and disconnected the call #and it sucked and i dont wanna do that again #apparently she got enough out of me to say i have GAD so. there's that. idk how reasonably you can assess that in <20 mins #whatever #it would be great to get some help for my bullshit but realistically im a lost cause anyway if im being honest #it's why i can never do the things i've said i would do #i can't commit #anyway #it's whatever #negative