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saltymongoose · 2 years

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Hi, are your requests still open?? Or I'll even pay you to write something too.

If they are, can I request fic with Deimos, Hank, 2B, and Sanford protecting and comforting a FTM(not transitioned yet) reader that is their partner. They protect him from an abusive family member? If that's not okay then maybe just comforting them on a really really bad dysphoria day?

I'm dealing with major family issues rn on top of my HEDS/POTS flair ups and I'm just breaking down and need some comfort from my boys that would def hug me and kiss me and tell me im okay and tell my family members to "Fuck off cuz I am a real man." I'm trying to draw some art too... but I have major art block art.. but your writing Is amazing and inspirational. I always look forward to everything you do. You are my hero and I wish I could write like you. Thank you for everything you do and please take care of yourself! Drink and eat pls!!❤️❤️❤️

Also this is the first time I'm asking something and I'm to nervous to come of anon so I guess you could call me...Kai? Thanks and sorry if this is too much yiu can ignore it

I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been going through Kai, it's beyond awful to have family members who're so unsupportive and damaging. :( I'd be more than happy to provide some comfort and protection from the boys for you, and as always, free of charge. <3 (Thank you so so much for your kind words as well, they're awfully sweet of you to say and reading them made me pretty emotional haha. I'm glad you like my work so much, it's readers like yourself that make writing so fulfilling for me, so thank you for that as well. And please take care of yourself too, of course. :)) 💕

[Part 1] They Protect a Transmasc!Reader from their Abusive Family ft. Hank & Sanford

(TW: Transphobia, Verbal Abuse, Violence (they're not yandere but still, it's Madcom), ft. Transmasc!Reader) //- {PART 2 HERE <3} -//

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Anyone who knows of your significance to Hank would realize that it’s not exactly a good idea to try anything against you, whether it be trying to make you uncomfortable or attacking you physically.

Your partner is the most wanted man in Nevada, and he has absolutely no patience when it comes to anyone or anything threatening you, period. It doesn’t matter if it’s some random grunt on the street, or some agent Doc insists he works with, or even if they’re an Employer. If they hurt you in any way, shape, or form, he’s paying them back for it tenfold.

It’s only right since you’re likely a target simply for your relationship with him and he considers it his “job” to protect the people he loves. And by that, just you, really. He can’t even remember the names of the other SQ members he works with 90% of the time, so you’re it for him. Although this just means all of his protective instincts are centered on a single person, which if anything would be more of a deterrent. (For mildly intelligent people, at least.)

However, while he never expected your family of all groups to be added to his “blacklist”, he isn’t averse to going after them the same way he does all your other persecutors. Hank genuinely couldn’t care less about their blood relation with you or any history you have with them; he solves nearly all his problems with violence anyway, so another set of bodies means very little to him in the long run. (Bear in mind, he won’t outright kill them in front of you, you don’t need to see that.)

Though because you’d generally prefer not to have to deal with organizing a funeral or explaining why your significant other gunned down your family (to your other family members who you'd prefer not to speak to), you made him swear not to kill them. A shame since they more than deserved it to him, but you're one of the few people Hank actually listens to, so he'll go along with it.

However, you never told him that he couldn't be violent with his protectiveness, even if they didn't end up dead.

So when he happens to be accompanying you to your family’s place to fetch some of your things and someone decides to make a little unwelcome comment about you (something about how you’re “never gonna be a real man”, whatever that means), he bristles when he hears the words. The look of discomfort and sadness on your face immediately drives him to physically threaten them; he's quick to invade the offending family member's space, anger coursing through his veins as a hand reaches for one of his knives.

It doesn’t take long for whoever made the comment to be thrown to their knees, a blade at their throat before you’re able to stop him. He's always been impulsive, and what they've just done to you would be enough to warrant murder if it were from anyone else. (They should consider themselves lucky you were more merciful than he was.)

He can only think of the look of your frowning visage as he grabs their jaw harshly, almost driving the knife into them as they jolt in his grasp. He usually doesn't care about insults, but if they're against you and targeting something so intrinsic to who you are, it's enough to piss him off immensely on your behalf, to say the least.

"Newsflash, asshole. Nobody asked for your dogshit opinion," he hisses, jostling your terrified family member before forcefully turning them to look in your direction. "See him? He's a real man. If you're too stupid to understand that, that's on you. But if you say anything like that to my boyfriend again, I'll fucking kill you, understand, dipshit?"

You know it's more of a bluff than a genuine promise, given the fact that you've been over this with him before. (Or at least you think so.) You ignore your family member's pleading for Hank to let them go, as well as the other people in the house who've come to watch, still feeling hurt at their comment. Having your partner there made it better, but it still didn't lessen the sting of the words themselves.

Hank notices this of course and will drop the offending individual to the floor (paying no mind to how their skull painfully hits the concrete below them, whoops) so he can pick you up protectively and remove you from the situation entirely. You let him, of course, silently eyeing your family from over his bicep as you snuggle into his arms, relaxing a little for once that evening.

The complete juxtaposition in Hank's behavior the moment you two exit through the front door is honestly amusing to you in retrospect, but in your sickened feelings at what just happened you don't notice it. He holds you tighter to himself as he walks, leaning down to press his forehead to yours and nuzzle into your temple. You told him once that his purring was comforting for you, so he'll do it here, and loudly too. He's relieved when he feels you sink into his grasp more at all his affection, but he can tell what just happened is still weighing on you.

Despite excelling at dealing with matters physically, Hank is very inept at anything concerning emotions (and to his credit, he knows it very well). He'll still try though since you need the encouragement and he hates seeing that despondent look on you. (He also just loves you and wants you to be alright, but that's hardly anything new.)

"You okay?" He rasps lowly, almost whispering to you, and you give a strained half smile in response. He tilts his head in concern and you sigh, reaching up to cup his cheek and watching as he leans into your hand absentmindedly.

"Not really, no, that was…a lot. I will be though, eventually…Thanks for that, by the way," you say, voice small as you rest your head on his chest. It’s funny, you were only there for forty-five minutes and you’re exhausted. This only makes you doubly grateful for your partner being willing to carry you and comfort you physically, even when you don’t feel like talking.

You could feel him nod resolutely against your hand, the only reply you’ll get from him on this matter. His silence is fine with you; you were so close that you didn’t need words to understand his view anyway. Especially not with how he makes sure to hold you as close to him as possible on the way back, wrapping you up tightly in his arms as if to protect you from the rest of the world as he takes you back home, where you’ll be safe from everything else.

Hank’s type of care is a strange one. Filled with gentle touches and harsh protectiveness, Nevada’s most infamous mass murderer is nothing if not soft around you. You were a point of vulnerability for him, but one that he welcomed with open arms. He’d rather die than let something happen to you (and he’d be very willing to if it came down t it). Even if the threat isn’t incredibly violent, his main priority is your well-being, whether that be your physical or mental health. Perhaps this is why you feel comfortable enough to fall asleep in his arms, content that he’d keep you safe as you went home. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you and you knew it. After all, he loves you beyond belief, just as you do him.

- [SANFORD] -

As one of the few people in Nevada who actually has a semi-intact family in his life, Sanford knows the true value of having close relationships with your parents and/or siblings. However, he realizes that your family is also the people who can cause you the most suffering. They know every little button to press to get a reaction, and it's only elevated to a more painful level if they don’t accept you for who you truly are.

In all likelihood, you’ve confided to him before about your familial situation, and what he heard both depressed and angered him. How anyone could be so awful to you is just beyond him; you’re one of the nicest people he’s had the pleasure of coming across and he wouldn’t trade you for everything, why would your family do you so much harm purposefully?

The feeling of disgust only festers with each time you tell him about another one of your family's abusive actions towards you, and he honestly considers just suggesting you cut them off. They don't deserve to have someone like you around them, just as you don't deserve to be mistreated for something as simple as your gender identity. You don't need to justify who you are to them, and the fact that they badger you about it and degrade you is enough to make his blood boil.

You probably don't see your family that often anyway, cause once you two got together he was fully willing to just get a place with you away from anywhere having to do with them. The further the better. (The last thing he wanted to happen was for them to encounter you when you went out for groceries or ran errands. More distance meant more safety from them, after all.)

It's not that he wants to isolate you or anything like that, and really you're free to do what you want, he just doesn't want to run the risk of them hurting you more than they have already. As such, he’s hesitant to even drive you to visit them, to be completely honest. You don’t deserve to be put in a potentially abusive situation, but if you have to be around your family for whatever reason, he insists on accompanying you.

He holds your hand the entire way there, throwing you soft looks to gauge your mood and running a thumb over your knuckles when he sees your nervous posturing. He hopes that his reassurance will help in some way, even if he's also dreading encountering your family.

He's tense at your side the moment you both walk through the door to your family's home, putting himself between you and any family members as he oversees your interactions. Most would feel threatened by his posturing; it’d be quite obvious that he’s acting as sort of a sentinel for you, and having someone like him as a protector should be a deterrent to any awful behavior. Lest they end up suffering some harsh consequences for their actions.

But of course, this doesn’t stop some people. Perhaps they just walked in and saw you, thinking you were on your own and taking it as an opportunity to slew some abuse at you, completely oblivious to the fact that your partner was just across the room. Or maybe they were just ignorant enough to believe your partner wouldn’t protect you from them.

However, they’ll notice and realize the reality of the situation soon enough. It’s impossible not to when they open their mouth to make a disparaging comment about you and are met with a painfully tight grip on their shoulder and the broad form of your boyfriend looming over them.

You'll notice that their abusive remark is cut off by a sharp squeak, and turn to see them looking almost sickly with fear at your boyfriend. The same whose glare seems to darken when they have the nerve to send a pleading glance towards you to make him stop, as if they're not the one who tried to verbally attack you in the first place.

No matter, he'll helpfully twist them around so he's all they see instead. (Quickly too, since he hated the way you seemed to freeze when they tried to make eye contact with you.) The perpetrator is terrified to their core since they know very well about who he is, but the short apologies they try to stammer out don't quell any of Sanford's anger at them. It's not him they should be apologizing to.

He'd even consider forcing them to right that moment if he couldn't read you as well as he does. He knows from your shaky motions and quick glances back at him that having any prolonged contact with them would probably just risk upsetting you more, and besides, what kind of a partner would he be if he brought his boyfriend's abuser closer to him?

Despite this, he won't let go of them. He's almost like a guard dog that's latched onto someone, unwilling to let them move a mere inch away as you go about your business. While you're distracted, he'll even lean down to get uncomfortably close to your family member to give them a bit of a warning, silently delighting in how they jump at his sudden movements.

"You aren't gonna say another fucking word to him, understand?" He hisses, "None of this shit about you not understanding that he's a man - cause that's what he is, dumbass. You can fuck off if you think I'll just let you insult him like that, or I'll make you wish you knew better."

They nod frantically, and he gives them a sardonic, if not outright threatening grin. Just in time too, as you turn back to them with some personal belongings gathered in your arms. You don't look at your family member when you approach, but Sanford's quick to disregard them as well once you're a meter or two from them. (He doesn't want you to have to be too close to them, anyway).

He gives their shoulder one last squeeze, threatening to pierce their skin with his claws before he lets go and returns to your side. You find it slightly amusing that he insists on wiping his hand off on his pants before he holds yours again, and as you exit the building he makes a joke about not wanting any "filth" to touch you. It makes you smile a bit, which relieves him.

He has a thoughtful look on his face as he helps you into his truck, one he always seems to get whenever the topic of your family comes up. You give him a few questioning glances, silently prodding at what's eating away at him as he seems to mull over something for a moment. He then turns to you, giving you a warm smile.

“I’m really proud of you, you know? I don't know how I'd be if my family pulled something like that with me," he remarks, giving you a playful glare when you shrug and avert your eyes, already beginning to formulate some sort of retort to his praise.

"I mean, I didn't do very much-"

"Not this time, I guess, at least not physically. But you've dealt with their shit for years, so I'd say you're stronger than you think you are." He states simply, a tone of finality in his words. Under no circumstance would he let you downplay or disregard your own feelings and role in this; so what if you didn't want to get in their face as he would? Physical confrontations aren't everything, especially when he's half sure those pigheaded people in your family wouldn't change with or without them. The point was that you're perfect just as you are, and you don't need some dumbasses who don't know anything to make you doubt that.

You understand as much when he leans over to give you a quick kiss on your temple, whispering so before leaving another peck on your cheek and pulling back. For that simple moment, your anxiety is quelled. Funny, how something as common as Sanford giving you affection could calm you down so much. The love he has for you is pure and nearly overwhelming sometimes; it fills you with a warmth so comforting, and a feeling of gentle reassurance you don't know how you went without before. And you knew it was the same for him.

For now, though, Sanford thinks he's got a bit of a solution to this issue (if you could call it one). He's been thinking about it for a while, but now that he's seen firsthand the quality (or lack thereof) of people in your family, he doesn't think it's going too fast. At least, he hopes you won't think so either.

Your attention is caught again when he mutters your name, and you look over to see him staring down at the dashboard, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he nervously clears his throat. It's weird to see him so nervous, but it's cute; it reminds you of when you first started dating and he was so anxious about being with someone seriously, least of all someone he admired so much.

"I know this might be too fast, but..you could, well, "join" my family, if you want. My mom's been asking about you, and they just really want to meet you, to be honest. Probably because of how I don't shut up about you," he laughs a little awkwardly, and you smile at how bashful he looks, brow quirking at the question. "They're not...like yours, and I know they won't screw with you like that. So..would you want to?" He looks hopeful as he eyes you, and you can see the slightest bit of apprehension in the way he shifts his hands against the wheel as he waits for your answer.

You hum in thought, genuinely considering the offer. Sanford's without a doubt the nicest guy you've ever met, and you don't think his family would be spoken about so highly by him if they weren't the same. Besides, there's no harm in meeting your boyfriend's family. However, there's a little something about the way he worded it that made you curious.

"Yeah, I'm down for that. All this talk about me joining your family is pre-tty interesting though, babe," you begin, a teasing lilt to your voice as you lean over the console to perch your chin on his shoulder. "You thinking about proposing?"

He sputters, face going red as you chuckle at him. He's quick to make a recovery though, nudging his elbow at you as he shakes his head to himself (he can't hide his own grin, despite this). You feel relaxed as you lean back into your seat, grateful for the distraction in light of everything else that happened that day.

Although, you don't make it entirely back to your seat before Sanford reaches out for your hand again. His larger hand returns to hold yours just as it was on the way to your family's place, and you can see a slight blush tinge his cheeks when you turn yours over to interlace your fingers. He only has a single real response to your teasing, but it's enough to make you double-take.

"That depends, would you say yes?"

#tw: violence #tw: transphobia #tw: verbal abuse #you're so sweet omg I cannot take it #I've never written anything like this so I hope these are alright #BUT if not please lmk so I can try putting together something else or altering them for ya.#I don't mind at all given the seriousness of this scenario <3 :)#transmasc reader #male reader #sanford x reader #hank j. wimbleton x reader #sanford #hank j. wimbleton #madness combat x reader #madcom x reader #my writing

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bitter-sweet-coffee · 9 months

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day 2 of trying to piss off the sonic fandom so i either get blacklisted or blocked by as many people as possible:

the people who turn rouge into “the bestist lesbian big sister to shadow for ever and ever” are not as progressive as they’d like to think they are.

congratulations, you are reducing a female character to the bettering of a more popular male character, focusing exclusively on one dimension of her personality and rejecting the rest to make it wholesome and cute.

doesn’t seem so different from the people who would only focus on her sexuality in the 2000’s, does it?

listen. you can have your lesbian big sister rouge just like people can have their sex symbol rouge. they can also coexist. HOWEVER. do not pretend like this fanon interpretation does any justice to the nuanced layers of her character.

what about her selfishness? her commitment issues? her self preservation disguised as brashness? her lack of moral stability since she always puts herself first? ignoring the total disregard for her femme fatale disposition, the people who reduce her to a sibling dynamic are completely disregarding how canonically horrible at this she would be. her and shadow are coworkers, yes, and it’s evident she cares about him (in whichever way you choose to interpret that) but she is far from responsible for him. even if she wanted to be, episode shadow proves he completely disobeys orders and doesn’t regard her as a support system lol.

in case anyone is questioning why i keep including lesbian in my description, it’s because of the shipping can of worms. self admittedly, my rouge is bisexual, but that’s besides the point. the reason why the whole “lesbian rouge, gay shadow” makes me raise an eyebrow is because it is almost ALWAYS to eliminate any possibility of them having romantic feelings for each other, and additionally, so shadow’s big sister is also in a gay relationship because clearly he is gay and only gay and therefore rouge is a lesbian. since we need her to be in a gay relationship too we’re gonna ship her with wave, who is a lesbian as well because she wears pants and is mean, and that means we have a scapegoat wlw ship for the REAL focus— shadow and his boyfriend.

do you see what i’m insinuating here? do you see the fanon trend (which is not exclusive to sonic) and are you getting the bigger picture here? i’ll elaborate more on this when i dedicate a day to dissecting amy rose as a character but for now, let’s brush past this sexuality business and onto one more teeny tiny point

hey. so. a lot of people consider rouge to be racially coded as black. now, does anyone see a potential problem of having a black coded female character be this strong, independent, tough, maternal/sisterly caretaker for people? no? nothing historically bad about the caricature of older black women being “no nonsense” babysitters for people? or black women being strong and independent who don’t cry or have softer vulnerable sides? hm? any pancake products coming to mind? and before someone says i’m reading too much into this, i’m not calling anyone outwardly racist. i just think that it is unfair to women but especially black women to not only reduce a coded female character to a caretaker for the male main characters, but especially in the ways which people go about this. ANYWAYS

yeah. do whatever you want with rouge, but don’t think i haven’t had my eye on the ways in which she’s mischaracterized almost exclusively for shadow’s own character development. stop using female characters as tools or resources for male characters. i don’t care if it’s through gender or race or sexuality, there is some serious bastardization going on here and i am appalled when people who scoff at sexy rouge go on to do shit like this thinking they’re “saving” her character from everyone else. no. i actually think you’re just as bad as them, fight me i guess

note: i’m not attacking anyone as a person, i’m attacking the general fanon phenomenon. this isn’t about a particular creator or their work, this is about the way rouge is treated by the fandom as a whole. people can make whatever they want, and in the same vein, i can call it fucking stupid. if you’re offended or think i’m an asshole though, even if it’s just for doing this and you’re not involved with fanon rouge, block me. please. i’m actively trying to get rid of people and this helps.

#bsc joker arc #tempted to put this in the character tag but tbh i want slowburn so i won’t #i bet if i went INTO the character tag though it would be filled with the very thing i’m criticizing lmao just saying

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maddsmallow · 7 months

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hi im gonna complain about people seeing hank and connor as father and son under the break so if you see them like that maybe dont read. like you do you but if this is gonna upset you then. dont fuckin read it lmao

if tumblr puts this in the fucking tags even tho i didnt tag it 1) im sorry, and 2) im gonna be fucking pissed im just trying to vent on my own got dang blog

cropped out the person who made these tags because i dont even know them and also im not a fucking asshole thats gonna put someone on blast like that but. this is the EXACT problem i have with hank and connor as father/son. i dont even mind connor seeing hank as a mentor or something like that (even tho i personally disagree with using the term "father figure"), but it's the "connor is like a new chance for hank to be a dad" that fucking gets me. do you not see all the different CANON reasons why that works completely against hank's character, and takes away connor's say in the whole situation?? hank IS a dad. he's a dad to a dead boy. basically his whole fuckin personality is him mourning over the loss of cole because he loves him SO much. you think he's gonna cling to the first mentee he's had since cole's death and immediately have him replace his dead fucking child? that's like, making hank give into some kind of fucked up delusion. that's mentol illness luv. imagine misunderstanding a character THAT badly.

and that isnt even getting into the whole "you're taking away all of connor's agency as a fully grown adult man" thing. he's not a child. he's an android that was activated only a few months ago, sure, but he was literally created to be like 27-33 or something. he deals with guns. he looks at pole dancers at the eden club. he works with murder scenes. you literally ARE taking away all of his agency as an adult man by seeing him as some little puppyboy that needs a dad to take care of him.

i mean of course you can take these characters and do whatever you want with them outside of canon, they're basically just barbie dolls lmao. but to claim that it's CANON that hank would think of connor as his own literal son, that he thinks that before the game's even over?? absolutely fucking not. those jokes of hank being like "who's my son?" and connor answering "me:)" and hank's relationship bar goes up, it's cute i guess but if that happened in the game? if that was a real choice in the game? hank would've shot connor without a second fucking thought. hell no hank would've thought connor was anything CLOSE to what cole was to him. hank straight up would've murdered the real connor and not even been upset about it when sixty told him so. david cage can eat my entire ass for agreeing that they're father and son, he just said that because he's a homophobic piece of shit, and that's literally the ONLY thing ever to point at them having that sort of relationship.

and i'm not gonna sit here and be like "but anyways here's all the reasons hank and connor are TOTALLY in love" because i dont actually think that's canon either. i'm just playing with them like barbie dolls lmao. my problem is people taking subtext that doesnt fucking exist of them being "like father and son" and claiming it's the be all end all of their whole relationship. their view of them as father and son is the ONLY way to see them. which is just not fucking true. there's NOTHING in canon to support them as being anything but close friends or enemies. that's it. and then they come onto these posts about hankcon, which obviously have NOTHING to do with them since they dont ship it, and tell the OP who ships them "fuck you." like?? you could have just scrolled. you could have just kept fucking scrolling. you fool. you moron. what happened to ship and let ship. just fucking move on, jesus christ. stop taking the time and effort out of your day to go out of your way to 1) make yourself upset by seeing this content and not just blacklisting it and blocking the posters, and 2) making someone else upset that you took the time to be a shithead on something that obviously wasn't even meant for you but made THEM happy. just stop !!! log off!! touch grass!! and this goes for hankcon shippers who do the same!! what the fuck is wrong with you!! we're all just here to vibe and love on these dork ass characters!!!!! fuck !!!!!!!!!!!

also it's super cringe when bryan dechart is playing the game and you're all screaming "wow best father son duo everrrrr" in the chat as if that also doesnt make bryan uncomfortable because he's gotta be super fucking careful about how he fuckin speaks about his character to everyone and not piss off all the rabid father-sonners by insinuating they're only friends. just. shut the fuck up. hankcon shippers who try to shove it in other people's faces also need to shut the fuck up. jesus fucking christ

IN OTHER WORDS. old man yells at cloud is basically me rn

^actual pic of me

anyways here's a cookie 🍪

#the blogger says words

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nxiispire · 1 year

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I hope this doesn't come across as rude, but you do know you don't have to censor words on Tumblr right .. it honestly makes it incredibly hard to read 😔 (and admittedly also a bit hard to take serious bc my brain just zooms in onto the numbers and i don't absorb much of the actual writing lol,,,)

From what I've seen you mostly use it for content description which is IG not a problem in of itself but for anything regarding triggers it stops any blacklisting tools from picking them up which i feel might be important to know too 🙏

Anyway, always nice to see more people in the tags, i hope you'll have a great morning/day/evening/night!!

Hii the reason i censor words above the cut on my posts is actually because i recently had to move blogs because my last blog was flagged as ‘explicit’ and shadow banned, despite only posting my writing.

The reason some nsfw ff blogs are getting flagged is because of the recent update introducing community tags and if mature content is not under the mature content community tag it can get flagged

The reason i don’t just use the community labels is because on ios tumblr automatically blocks posts tagged as mature content therefore majority of people who read my content won’t be able to see it if it’s tagged as mature content.

As for the censored words avoiding blacklist triggers ty for letting me know, i think from now on i will add another set of tags at the bottom of my posts so people who have the words blocked won’t see the posts. i hope you understand my reasoning for continuing to censor words above the cuts on my post :)

#𖦹 asks!

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crescendo-system · 2 years

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(Venting/vaguing, tw for passing medical abuse ment (the asylum concept specifically) )

This does count as vaguing which we try to avoid but. People out here getting mad at T.S4nders for 'misrepresenting systems' when he makes it clear it's not that and avoids using terms the community uses, while someone else wholeheartedly has something called 'the h34dspace', where the group running it is called 'the system' and it's like. Edgier due to it being for coping and venting (which I respect) but also includes paralleling a misapplied prescription as being excessively abused in an insane asylum and. I'm not gonna be like 'hey you can't do that' bc maybe they have experiences there that ofc they aren't gonna share online!

But what really gets my goat is someone on anon asked if they could take inspiration and op was like 'yeah feel free to make your own systems/headspaces' and I'm just. Hrm.

(And yes they cited s4nder's sides as an example of what they're doing is like/possibly inspiration so if you want to say it's still his fault ultimately, fine but. This is a HUGE difference in behavior and treatment of the setup and for us is the defining factor on why his is ok and theirs very much is not.)

Idk just. I know the difference is popularity in that he had a huge influence on the internet before even making his series while this person doesn't. But this feels even worse than the 'good/evil personality split' trope because it's using terminology that directly ties it to systems proper without actually being anything to do with them!

And I can sit here and be like 'well maybe they're covert themselves and they said this is for coping/venting so it's edgier and-' but my problem is they're clearly technically misapplying terms AND encouraging others to do this same premise.

I will say if you know who this is/ask for name, don't harass them. If you want to set the record straight be polite and do it via dm but if you can't do that just block them. It's just frustrating to me that this goes under the radar exclusively due to a more limited sphere of influence despite having the potential of being so much more actively harmful.

(Also to be clear, the point here isn't "this is why you should be fine with SS actually". It's more just... SS as things go is like. In a grey area at worst bc it's not handled nearly as badly as most singlet media does, and we personally find it comforting and helpful bc it's geared towards working through issues in a healthy manner. So we get frustrated by the reputation and flak and this situation puts a whole new light on Why we're upset at how people blacklist it so aggressively. We understand systems being uncomfortable and respect that but not the whole crusade to drag his name through the mud for a project that he's not doing direct harm with, even if you argue it gives singlets ideas to do projects like this bc tbh they'll get the idea from Somewhere anyways, personification is man's best friend. Just. Ugh. Yeah.)

#uggggh #ramblingonandon #vent.txt #ask to tag re T.S4nders bc I know people dont wanna read him being put on a pedestal #but also after a lot of thought im v pro T.S4nders so maybe just block me instead of reading the post ykno

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butterflyinthewell · 3 years

Text

Fandom antis want every proshipper to be Marion Zimmer Bradley and it shows.

She wrote The Mists of Avalon, which has every cliche fandom antis HATE with all their pathetic little souls.

She also aided and abetted a child molester and abused her kids.

Yeah. Fandom antis think all proshippers are like that.

Fandom antis want proshippers to harm kids so they can feel justified in abusing them. 👈🏻 Read that again. And again.

Proship literally means “I won’t harass someone for creating content I find upsetting, gross, triggering or immoral. I’m not going to assume their real world morals based on fiction they engage in or create. I look at real life actions to judge that.”

There are proshippers who don’t like adult/minor ships. (I don’t pay super close attention to character ages and have been known to make them up! Btw I’m SessKag trash. Most of my ships are all adults and some have huge age gaps. *cough* Whouffaldi, Optimus/Mikaela…😋)

There are proshippers who don’t like incest ships. (Hello, I’m one!)

There are proshippers who don’t like ships with unhealthy relationships. (I write Optimus and Mikaela as pretty healthy, but one of my WIPs is Hannigram and it’s kinda problematic!)

There are proshippers who make nothing but wholesome safe for work content. (I have sfw content, but a lot is nsfw.)

Guess what else I don’t like? Lolisho! It weirds me out, but my “weirded out” reaction is nothing like the rage, dread and disgust I felt when I had to report actual CSEM. My rage goes through the roof when people harm real kids. I will never see lolisho as on the same level as CSEM, ever.

Being proship isn’t about what you ship, it’s your behavior towards and around shipping.

I don’t care how shitty someone treats fictional characters in fanwork. I can scroll away and not click it. I care how real people treat other real people and fandom antis hurt real people over fictional characters.

Fandom antis think they’re so slick with their “I’m anti-what?” bullshit when nothing they do is protecting real kids from real abusers.

They claim there’s a difference between engaging dark media and glorifying it, yet they treat any depiction as glorifying. Then they’ll go watch a media that’s as problematic as some fanworks and be fine with it. There are fandom antis who watch nbc Hannibal and throw homophobic slurs at Bryan Fuller, the gay show runner, because he agrees that fiction isn’t the same as reality and doesn’t have to follow the same rules as reality.

They think seeing it will make someone think it’s okay when it’s usually a predator grooming someone into believing it’s okay…and the blame is always on the predator.

They claim the media can be used to groom. But anything can be used to groom.

Kids need to stay out of adult spaces and learn to blacklist and mute tags. I can write something gross and tag it to shit and back, but that’s useless if people ignore the tags, click anyway and spread it to audiences it isn’t meant for.

Fandom antis abuse real people over fictional content they can choose to avoid. They’re some of the nastiest bullies I’ve encountered anywhere. Their disingenuous behavior disgusts me so much. They’re little wannabe fascists who drank TERF juice and now they think they’re warriors out to protect people from something that most wouldn’t see if it wasn’t shoved in their face by fandom antis.

And guess who gets hurt the most by fandom antis?

Marginalized creators.

Oh, fandom antis will claim they’re part of that minority as if that absolves them of harm, but it doesn’t and never will.

They’re bullies and abuse apologists. There is nothing good about them.

I hate every single fandom anti. There is no excuse for their behavior and when I see them I block on sight.

If fiction affected reality as much as fandom antis claim, society would be completely unlivable.

Are there problems with how things are portrayed that need addressing? Yes, absolutely! Things like poor disability rep, poor queer rep, the sexualization of children in Hollywood, etc, that needs addressing.

Screaming at someone because their Inucest fanfic or their BakuDeku doujinshi grossed you out isn’t going to address the issue at all.

Web 2.0 was a mistake.

#antis #proship #proshipper #Tay don’t look #fandom discourse #shipping discourse #swearing #rant #proship safe

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rpbetter · 3 years

Note

"writes dubcon therefore is a freak who should be bullied off the site" ho boy i'm fed up with people acting as if consenting adults writing [insert "problematic" fictional thing here] is the worst thing in the world. seen way too many people justifying harrassment of REAL PEOPLE by "they write thing that triggers me". ok, and? mute the tags or don't follow! "it triggers someone" is not a valid reason to ban a topic. piano music triggers me yet i don't go around demanding everyone stop playing the piano.

Anon, not only is everything you said absolutely valid, but also, thank you for demonstrating that triggers are incredibly varied and as such, we cannot predict everyone's triggers. Making the entire "point" of banning for possible triggers invalidated as hell.

We should be aware of things like the most commonly occurring phobias (things like arachnophobia and coulrophobia that are, additionally, easily triggered by imagery) and tag them. We should be aware of very obvious triggers, that are, again, easily set off by imagery, like blood, eye trauma, and depictions of domestic violence. And we should always read and be aware of our writing partners' stated triggers so that we can tag them appropriately or even decide that it isn't going to work because our muse, canon story, or interests are going to present an unfair situation in this partnership.

But triggers can be highly unusual, as well as activated differently (even at different times) for everyone. I'm not triggered by seeing hotel rooms in pictures or movies, I'm not triggered by writing scenes that take place in them, but I'm triggered to some degree by being in one. It's outrageous oversimplification to act like all triggers are the same, they all display the same way, they're all going to trigger someone on the same basis, everyone's going to react the same to their triggers. There is absolutely no way to prevent 100% of possible triggers for 100% of the population, 100% of the time.

Add to this that way too many people trivialize triggers by throwing around that term to justify the banning of something that makes them uncomfortable or that they take a personal, moral issue with. "I don't like this" and "I'm grossed out by this" and "this makes me feel uncomfortable" is not being triggered. It's just a good way to weaponize the better nature of other people so that they comply.

Most people legitimately do not want to trigger someone, especially if they have triggers and know what it's like. Just like no one wants to be accused of cruelty towards trauma survivors in general, or be designated a pedo, rape apologist, or fascist. They're all things to weaponize in order to isolate, shame, and control. And that's really fucking gross. These are serious, real things that have no business being trivialized to police content, win internet arguments, or garner popularity.

The potential for someone to be triggered isn't a reason to ban anything; we have tags, we have blacklist.

While I'll be the first to say that tumblr's blacklisting can be as shitty as everything else on the site, the primary issue with running into content you don't want to see comes down to two factors: no one tagging/tagging correctly and actively exposing yourself to that content. Going through people's properly done tags and blog warnings about their content in order to "call it out" is actively exposing yourself by choice. You actual walnuts.

Calling people on on their "problematic" content is bringing those topics to the attention of other people. That's the whole point of this gross behavior: look at the freak pedo abuse apologist I found, they write dubcon!! Don't look if you'll be triggered uwu

Buddy, pal, my guy...you just put that on blast for anyone to run across. Maybe their blacklist catches those words in your callout post, maybe it doesn't. Maybe they think you're a safe space because you promote yourself that way, so they click it anyway. Point is, you just willfully and irresponsibly exposed people because it's more important to you to demonize a rando on tumblr RPing something you take issue with. Good job!

Furthermore, dubcon itself is such a hilarious issue to take. Do they realize that isn't always sexual, or? Not? I'm thinking not. Funnily enough, one of the oldest posts I've been working on for this blog is about exactly this topic, the myriad situations that are dubious consent. That doesn't have to be sexual, and neither does it have to be intentionally predatory. You can come up with some amazing character development with a lot of muses in the RPC with dubcon because almost everyone's muse has some manner of trauma that might negate their perception of their own consent...and what do you do then? Is it removing more agency from that muse to shut them down, or is that always the better option? Can you separate your opinion as the mun from your muse's natural reactions? How does this impact the muses involved not just that moment but the next year?

Point is, dubcon isn't always some rapey situation. Even if it was, even if someone is writing it that way, it's literally not your business or your problem.

There's one mutual-in-law on my RP blog that really bothers me. They write things that I find fetishizing, incredibly rapey, all around shit that bothers me. I don't want to see it, some of the things they write makes my damn skin crawl. This person doesn't know it, we certainly don't speak and I don't think they like me very much, but I've repeatedly defended their right, specifically their right as a person with some long-term callouts on them, to write what they want to. I have them blocked and their urls blacklisted so I never have to see my mutual reblogging their threads. It's not a problem because I don't click "show anyway." Why would I, if it genuinely bothers me so much?

That's how you handle things that bother you; you use the tools available to not interact even by accident. Not by launching a morality crusade.

If any of us want to write what we enjoy, we have to allow others that same freedom. It's always a matter of time before this policing grows to include more and more topics, it's been used multiple times to get well-meaning people who don't fall into the general demographics to police queer, BIPOC, and other marginalized groups off of platforms. We've been fortunate in most of the RPC that it implodes on itself before it gets all the way there, but even so, you can see it.

It starts with things that produce a visceral reaction in the great majority of people, positions this with a repeatedly condemned idea presented as solid fact that fiction is reality, and you've got the start of something awful. Today it's something you don't like, maybe even something that triggers you, so you either support it or you quietly allow it to happen. Who needs to write that "freak shit" anyway, can't they just be gross privately? Six months from now, it's something "problematic" that you enjoy like violence that's canon-typical for your muse, or your OTP because they're gay and that's fetishizing, they're cis male and female but one or both is bi and that's bad representation, or they canonically have a rocky relationship so that's romanticizing toxic/abusive relationships.

If you can't care for any other reason, you really should care about how it is going to impact you sooner or later. In an environment like this, you can stay in your space, put warnings on your blog, and tag properly and you're still going to get a callout if the wrong person finds your blog. Just takes a single person with more time, energy, and skewed ideas of justice than they have reading comprehension or common sense.

Again, I cannot encourage people enough to give warnings, but it's difficult to ignore why those warnings are slipping; they're a way to be found, designated as a Problem, and called out. Look, it's another reason why callouts actually make things worse, not better! People put that shit in their rules so you can avoid content, they're being responsible and interested in promoting a safe RPC. Let them do it, damn.

You can't tag everything, and if you've never experienced what a giant series of repetitive tags is like on a screenreader you probably should before you tag seven paragraphs of possible issues. You can tag for visuals, you can tag for the obvious things, and you can tag for what's in the rules you agreed to when you followed/followed back. But you should also warn people that you write "dark topics" on the tin, and expand on that in your rules for specific things like graphic violence, toxic relationships, dubon, and addiction.

That's how responsible adults, not over-aged children, make better decisions about their mental health and general comfort. Not by appointing themselves the watchdogs of the damn RPC, here to protect you whether you want to be or not, find that incredibly insulting or not when you're in one of their categories of people who must be protected, by forcibly banning Problematic Everything. Problematic, of course, being entirely in the eye of the content police.

It's fiction. No one and nothing real was harmed. It's great that you are so invested in the fictional world and people that make you happy, but take a fucking big step back into reality. The real people you're harming with your bullshit had every right to peaceably exist. If what they're writing is triggering to you, stay. away. from. it.

Without any coincidence whatsoever, that's how you get from the base-point of Problematic Material to Problematic Mun. Yeah, it's just fiction, it's just RP, but I also took something out of context OOC or was upset by their tone on their own blog or couldn't exercise the minimal adult logic to remove myself from their presence OOC as well. So, now, you've got OOC behavior being added to the callout, if it wasn't already. Everyone is now ableist, transphobic, racist, and a misogynist because it lends that visceral reaction to the callout and ups the game from just being "y'all so gross you aged up a cartoon character to ship" to "this is REAL and it won't be tolerated! OP is actually a pedophile, they told a sexual joke in a discord server with a minor present and I have the receipts!"

What are the most storied callouts in the entire RPC? I'm absolutely certain the same names came to mind no matter what fandoms you're in, and one of them was "Matt." Another was probably "Ares/Snow". They're all successful and keep being brought up out of the closet anytime people are bored enough because their primary punch is the mun themselves being a predatory threat to the community. The mun is verified to be a bad person. Well, of course, that's got to be repeated, it worked. (Even if it did not, at all, work and only made it harder for people to avoid any of these muns.)

Are there people in the RPC who are legitimately a problem? Absolutely, yes. We're all supposed to be adults, however. Part of being an adult is having and acting upon one's agency. If someone is coercing you into things you are not comfortable with, shut it down. If you have difficulties being certain of those situations, run it by a trusted, honest friend or available, impartial source in the RPC for a second opinion. If you can't handle any manner of confrontation, there really are situations in which it's perfectly alright to block someone without any discussion. It's just the internet, you're in control of your space. Own it.

Minors are a whole other can of fucked up worms I'm not even getting into right now except to say that because a minor exists in a space they were told to stay out of does not mean we ban all topics inappropriate for their consumption.

tl;dr: banning shit doesn't work anyway, the whole idea is predicated upon some incredibly problematic takes IRL, and no, there's no justification for it outside of intense personal problems with one's own importance. That energy would be infinitely better spent volunteering one's time to help real people in crisis or after surviving one, or even oneself in developing some healthier approaches and thought patterns.

#hey what if we all start saying we're triggered by callout culture is that bannable then lmao #vespertine #drama cw #bsnf #callout culture #tumblr rpc #rp problems #also thank you again anon I hope you're having a great day!

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whumperooni · 3 years

Note

I'd love to be mutuals with you but now really sure how to approach you off-anon.

I've been holding off on answering this one because I'm not quite sure how to respond without coming off as rude or bitchy or grouchy or stuck up or just straight up ridiculous

So pretty please take this as a general answer for everyone wanting to be moots and not just you, okay? I promise it's nothing personal (specially since you're a nonny and idk who you are anyways)

tldr; I'm a bad moot and if you wanna be a moot it has to happen naturally

But

I'm a terrible mutual, tbh. My online presence is flaky at best and I rarely look at my dash. I'm happy to chat with my moots if they reach out and I'm happy to interact with them...but I don't really approach them and I go through long periods of time where I miss their content because a) I'm too busy to be on tumblr, b) my fixations have shifted and I don't wanna interact with stuff that's not centered on them, c) I'm feeling particularly tired and/or angry and I'm off tumblr because I know I'm going to lose my temper and lash out at someone.

I try to be nice to people and I try to keep an open mind and I really try to let people do their own thing even if it bothers me. But the thing is?

I'm not a super nice person. I have a minimal tolerance for bullshit and I have a problem with general fandom fuckery. (Like across all fandoms- not just here)

I get angry at fandom and I get angry at my dash and I get angry at myself and, honestly, my presence in fandom is more like a stray cat that wanders in when they're bored or hungry and leaves when I grow bored or irritated by whatever drama is going on that day. I'm selfish and standoffish and, honestly, jealous of a lot of things and people too.

They're not awesome qualities to have in a moot. They're not awesome qualities to have as a person. I try my best to maintain a more positive vibe but, really, it's not always strictly genuine.

And the thing is? It gets tiring trying to pretend that I'm not rolling my eyes at every post on my dash. I'm too old and tired to pretend to like people that get on my nerves. I don't follow those people. I try not to interact with them. I blacklist their tags and I'll block them if they really get under my skin.

I monitor my circle and I do it in a way that's strictly selfish. I refuse to follow someone who sends me into a rant every other day and I'll absolutely dump a mutual if seeing their posts starts to get under my skin. I've done that before and, honestly, it hurt to do that because I did enjoy their content a lot and I thought that we could actually be good friends....I just didn't enjoy them or entertain those daydreams anymore once they decided to dump me like a hot potato.

I've been on all the sides of being a moot- bestie moots, enemies to friends to moots and back to enemies, casual headcanon exchanging moots, the moot that's been dropped because the other found more popular friends + more clout, and the moot that's dropped the other because they started shit talking about things that are Extremely Personal to me and I wasn't about to deal with that.

It sucks being a moot with someone only to find out they've dumped you. And, honestly? That's a veryyyyyyyyy likely possibility when it comes to being moots with me? Which I hate because people don't deserve that and hurt feelings suck and I don't want to upset anyone if I don't have to. But the thing is? I have to monitor my experience on tumblr or I will spiral and become miserable and nuke my chances of being welcome in fandom during an inevitable, public meltdown.

And that means....well that means that things just have to happen naturally?

(God, I'm so sorry I'm rambling but I'm trying so hard to explain myself)

Like. If you come to me and you're like "I wanna be mutuals with you. I wanna be friends" then I'm going to recoil- especially if we've never interacted before. For one, something like that is supremely uncomfortable to me. How can I say no without coming off as a bitch? It feels like a trap- even if it isn't, even if it's purely just enthusiastic and sincere- and I'm a prickly, hermetic person by nature who literally talks to one person irl on a daily basis...who also happens to live with me and is my boyfriend.

I don't seek out friends. I don't seek out relationships. I don't try to make something happen when it comes to people? It just...idk man I have to let it happen naturally or eventually it's gonna blow up in my face because I will feel restless and trapped and resentful. (Even if you literally do nothing wrong. Please understand that I'm a kinda shitty person, I work two jobs and I'm always stressed, and I'm bipolar and unmedicated. Please understand that I try and I'm not using these as excuses but just stating facts- my mental and emotional state are often shit and I lash out at people once my stress becomes too much...which is often these days. That this has happened to me before and I know myself and I'm trying to be truthful and not set up any rosy expectations just to disappoint anyone)

Like...if you still wanna be a moot, all I can say is to just...interact with me? Maybe I'll check out your blog and vibe with what I see????

But there are layers and layers of why I'm Not a good moot and there are layers and layers of reasons I'm not going to follow just anybody just because I'm asked.

I...I don't know. I don't know how to end this and I don't know if this makes any sense at all or if it's too much explanation or not but...

Just...don't have any expectations when it comes to me. I'm making no promises to anyone and I'm trying to be transparent.

I won't be mutuals with someone just because they want me to be. It's gotta happen naturally or it won't happen at all.

And I am sincerely sorry if it causes hurt feelings or if it comes off as rude or mean or bitchy or something. Rejection fucking sucks, you know?

But I have to look out for my mental and emotional health and, unfortunately, that means setting boundaries and limits and monitoring my experience very carefully.

So...yeah.

I'm sorry. I know this is probably super unsatisfying and I'm deeply apologetic over it.

But...yeah. That's that and I'm going to shut up now.

(Sorry)

#uh sorry about this answer #and sorry if it doesn't make sense #please don't hate me #i'm really just trying to be honest

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flamediel · 3 years

Text

About me

ok, so I figure it was finally time for me to make one of these since i’ve been here for a bit and I hate how disorganized tumblr is. Hi, I’m Nadia, I’m 19, and this is my CNCO blog. I’m a mixed black muslim bisexual who uses they/them pronouns and I’m studying law. Other random facts about me are I box, make my own clothes, paddleboard, and love dogs. My aesthetic is all over the place and so is my brain so while typing this out i decided to make a moodboard that’s ✨my aesthetic✨ so here lol:

Was that necessary? no. did I do it anyway? yes. Moving on..

so what will you find on this blog?

Primarily, CNCO. This is a side blog so I tend to stay pretty on brand with the content I post. I tend to answer asks here, be it about fandom tea or random stuff relating to the boys, but when inspiration strikes I’ll write fics, make moodboards, or even pull together random uquizzes and zodiac interpretations no one asked for. I host a lot of events on here too like to celebrate their albums or band anniversaries, so stay tuned for that as well. As you can see we do a little bit of everything here, so feel free to stop by for a chat whenever.

Where can I find your writing?

All my fics can be found under the ‘#my writing’ tag on my blog, so check them out there! anything tagged minors dni (or cnco smut for older posts) is 18+

What writing do you have coming up?

Chris sex tape smut

Boxdiel smut

Sub!Richard Smut

Zabdiel + Power Play

The boys while you’re pregnant (Minus Chris since it’s already up)

Richard pampering you

a ton of songfics I have half finished

And if you want anything else, I am taking requests! Keep in mind they may take a while though, I tend to write when inspired and I haven’t had the time at all lately with work. Also, if you remember requesting something that isn’t here, it’s because I likely haven’t gotten to starting it. once I do, I’ll add it here.

Where can I find your moodboards?

These will be under the ‘#cnco moodboard’ tag on my blog! Requests for moodboards are open (and will probably be fulfilled MUCH more quickly).

UQuizzes?

Which CNCO member are you?

Which CNCO hookup are you?

Where are your CNCO Zodiac interpretations?

I’m only doing full chart readings for the boys once we get their birth times, since I don’t like how inaccurate readings can be without houses and such (ie, Chris’s Sagittarius energy doesn’t make sense until you realize it’s all in the fourth house). That means I’ll be analyzing Joel and then Chris’s birth charts in detail for now, and when we get the rest of the info I may do the others’. This is gonna take a while since these are long and take a ton of research, sorry about that

Joel: Part 1 (part 2 coming soon)

Chris: (TBD)

Management vs record label analysis

You've done some analyses of cncos team from a legal perspective, where are they?

Joel leaving the band timeline/contract renegotiation explanation

Who owns cncos trademark

Why are some of your posts tagged minors dni?

Why didn’t you answer my ask?

personally, I don’t feel comfortable with minors interacting with any explicit content on my blog. I tag it that way for people to be able to blacklist these posts (including adults who don’t want to see them). I know minors look at this content anyway, I’m not dumb, but this gives them the opportunity to be responsible without me having to make this whole blog nsfw, andit also provides a clear warning. Minors I find repeatedly interacting with my NSFW posts are getting blocked. You’re violating my consent and disrespecting the rules I put in place on my blog, and I don’t want you around if you cant understand that.

my inbox is almost always full and it takes me a while to get to stuff! I will though, i promise, and if it takes a while maybe resend it since tumblr doesn’t like to work sometimes.

Why do certain anons have symbols/emojis?

It’s like a signature so I can tell which anon it is. if you want one just ask!

can you tell me about X cnco thing?

usually, yes. but also, keep in mind I don’t know everything, and most of what I say is my opinion, as with everyone else here. don’t take it too seriously please. I will also sometimes answer asks sarcastically or jokingly and entertain dumb stuff, if you have a problem w that just send smth in about that instead of fighting, no need to get disrespectful over tumblr shit I swear it’s unnecessary.

Why wont you answer dms?

I am. so so bad at checking dms. so bad. it gives me anxiety and i WILL leave people on read. honestly if you’re not my mom you should not be expecting quick replies from me. if you want to talk more and we’re mutuals, message and ask for my snap. I tend to be more active on there

Why aren’t you following me/liking my posts/in my notes?

I probably am, this is a side blog, I interact from my main @imbrium-mare

Any other important notes?

A couple. First, something light. info about me is in my ‘#about me’ tag, and if you care what i look like check the ‘#my face’ tag, I tend to delete those every now and then so you might not find anything.

Secondly, more heavy. Like most active cnco blogs, I’ve dealt with my fair share of “anon” hate. Most of the time, I can figure out who you are pretty easily. Yall aint slick at allll, and I am more than happy to expose anyone who thinks online bullying is okay. casual reminder, using racial and homophobic slurs is not cute. I will not tolerate it, you’ll be blocked. the fact people think this is ok to do over a BOYBAND of all things? tragic.

And finally, since this will now be my permanent pinned post, any events I host or new things I write will be linked in a reblog of this post and pinned, rather than pinning the actual post with it. That way this information is all still accessible. That’s it! have fun, and I hope you enjoy your time here xx

#about me #pinned post

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shadowfae · 3 years

Note

As someone who is a survivor, I find that, yes, it's fiction, but there's also a certain level of romanticization with it. Exploring darker topics in fiction is absolutely fine, but if those topics are displayed in a context where it's not deemed as wrong it personally rubs me the wrong way. I'm not trying to judge you as a human being because you genuinely seem very caring, but I guess I'm just explaining why the concept of your writing could be seen in such a negative way

Aight, then don’t read it, it’s not for you.

It personally rubs you the wrong way. It doesn’t rub me the wrong way. You know what does rub me the wrong way? Trans men being pregnant. It fills me with such dysphoria it takes me a good fifteen minutes of forced, counted breathing to not want to throw up, and it can still ruin my day.

Does that mean other trans men shouldn’t be allowed to talk about wanting to get pregnant, how to do so safely, and all the fancy stuff that comes with it? Hell the fuck no. And it is incredibly rude to me to ask anything more of them but maybe ‘can you tag that so I can block that?’. And even then, they are not required to say yes! They can say ‘nah sorry I don’t want to’, and that’s fine. Then I unfollow and that’s that.

Because ultimately... People need to learn boundaries, and deal with their own disgust. I know that I can’t wish away my dysphoria, if I could I would. I can’t make you magically stop having trauma, I’d do that too if I could. But I’m not going to hide my self-expression for fear it may upset someone who I ultimately don’t know and don’t see any need to account for. I tag it. Before you open up the works, you have to agree that you are willing to see the content, because it’s marked as explicit. You probably also read the tags.

If you don’t like those tags, the works don’t interest you, or really any other reason, then just don’t click on it.

Could it hurt you if you read it? Maybe. I’m not you, I’m not psychic, I have no way of guaranteeing that. But it can’t hurt you if you just don’t read it. Maybe your reaction is “Ew why would anyone write that” and then you move on. But if your reaction to the tags themselves is full on panic, then there is not a damn thing I can do about it. If I removed the tags, then you wouldn’t know what the work contains, you’d start reading, and then you��d have to deal with the graphic scenes that are probably much worse for you.

I get why people would be disgusted by it. I’m not an idiot. I just also know that it isn’t my problem, and that calling me a pedophile or someone who consumes child porn when nothing I do is even remotely similar is not only uncalled for and super rude, but majorly fucking queerphobic. (You know queer folks for DECADES have been called pedophiles and freaks and then demonized and imprisoned and killed over almost-always-false accusations of pedophilia? You know that, right? You studied your queer history? And you’re willing to call some guy on the internet who does everything he can to ensure folks can make their own choices about the media they engage with can do so with informed consent? Bad hill to die on.)

Worst fic I’ve ever read that actually damaged me the most was a rape fic of my favourite character. It was on ff.net, untagged, and it took me years to undo the SWERF rhetoric it caused me. Had it been tagged, I never would’ve clicked on it, and I wouldn’t have been dealt that damage.

The tags are warnings and invitations and signposts and they mean “This is what is ahead. Now you know. If you walk the path anyway, that’s on you, not on me, you know what you’re doing.” If the tags are too much, then walk away, deal with your disgust and panic, and accept that it’s a really good thing someone bothered to warn you instead of letting you walk into something that would hurt you without at least trying to let you know what’s ahead.

I’m sorry you went through what you did, truly I am. But I have done more than my fair share to ensure that all those who read my fics can make their own choices on what they’re willing to engage with. If you don’t want to engage with it, don’t click on the fic. Blacklist the word ‘shipcourse’ and you’ll never see these posts from me again.

But I can’t magically make you okay with content not everyone is okay with. And I am not going to stop writing things for me, that I graciously share with the world, because someone else was bothered by it. I wouldn’t ask my fellow trans men to never get pregnant again because it bothers me. I don’t get pissy about other people’s donuts because I’m on a diet or celiac or whathaveyou.

Let people do what they want if its existence doesn’t mean someone got hurt in the making of it. Past that, it’s on the reader, not the writer.

#asks #anonymous #on shipcourse #Anonymous

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

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I'm gonna ask you a difficult question probably. Just because I trust you. ❤️❤️

I was involved with a big fandom (not sherlock related), things happened and now I'm not really active in it anymore. I still watch the show, I still like it and I'm pretty much happy with my fandom life now. The thing is: I don't want to be involved with the private lives of the actors/actress anymore because I really don't like some of the choices they've made in the past. AND I KNOW IT'S NOT MY PLACE TO JUDGE!!! That's why I don't wanna talk and read about it (gossip/speculations) anymore but omg why is it so difficult??????? I literally can't stop??????? Their life it's not my business. I perfectly know it. I never talked about it here or twitter or whatever because the probabilities are low but they can always find posts from Tumblr, but I still gossip OFTEN with my friends in private chats. And I hate it because it's wrong and it hurts me so much to think about those things. Of course I blacklisted, blocked every source of news but I still find a way to read them anyway. I swear I feel like a junkie LMAOOOO please Steph help HOW CAN I STOP THIS ADDICTION 😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭 ~ KAY

Hey Lovely! *hugs*

Honestly, this ask worries me a bit, and all I want is for you to be happy and healthy. *HUGS* Please note, as per usual disclaimer, I am not a professional and only am stating my thoughts and opinions, and take it all with a grain of salt.

I’m glad you recognize that this is a problem; and it is one that I think can pass if you limit your consumption of media sources for awhile. Uninstall Twitter and Facebook and whatever from your phone to help you curb it, and just honestly get off of social media for awhile. It’s okay to admire celebrities, and it’s fine to gossip, but know that there are limits to everything. Internet addiction is a thing, and with the internet and gossip rags now more than ever intruding on the personal lives of people, it’s becoming a problem for many such as yourself.

Take a break from social media and gossip sites. Let your friends know that you have a problem and would appreciate their help in not helping you feed that addiction. I know it’s hard, but it’s a place to start to see how bad your addiction is. You may find that you have other interests, like crochet, writing, or art. My sister discovered, after she got off Tumblr (which was an addiction that was feeding into her poor mental health) that she loves crochet. She now makes the cutest little crochet animals. I’m so happy for her, and she seems to be better mentally now. Obviously that’s one case over a billion trillion, but it doesn’t hurt to just try to quit cold-turkey and try something different.

And, if you find you can’t stop, you may need to seek some professional help; you might actually find you have hyperfixation, which can be a symptom of ADHD. A professional will be able to diagnose you, help you refocus your attention, and reduce the urges. And I think you will feel better too.

Again, I am not a professional, so please do what you need to do to take care of yourself <3

If anyone has any suggestions / coping mechanisms they can offer, please do <3

Take care, Kay, and let us know how you are <3

#steph replies #my advice #i am not a professional #my thoughts #chatting with lovelies #mental health #Anonymous

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deadcherpblog · 3 years

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A legitimate suggestion for solving the ‘mentions of’ issue, please feel free to chime in with criticism or improvements:

Split the warnings box into two boxes; a ‘main content’ box and a ‘mentions of’ box.

If something potentially triggering comes up in the prompt or is expected to come up in the roleplay, put it in the main warnings box as usual. If something is only mentioned, and will not come up in the roleplay other than being further mentioned, you put it in the mentions of warning box.

The mods have often said that if someone wants to not see any prompts with Trigger X, they don’t want to see any prompts that even just mention this. This premise is clearly untrue; there are people complaining about how they want to filter more granularly. However, the problem of increased granularity is it increases the number of tags in use, and thus those people who do want to avoid even seeing mention of a triggering subject have a harder time and worse experience finding those offending tags out to blacklist them.

This doesn’t totally solve this problem but it does address the seemingly most common desired granularity, without meaningfully increasing the burden for people wanting to blacklist mentions.

Want to blacklist something only if it’s a focus of the roleplay, or occurs on-screen, or is intended to (possibly) occur? Put the tag in the main warning blacklist section.

Want to blacklist something even if it’s so much as mentioned as having had happened offscreen? Put the exact same tag, but in the ‘mentions of’ warning blacklist section.

Upon implemention, set the ‘mentions of’ blacklist section to a duplicate of the main warnings blacklist section, for all users, inform them of the change, and let those who want to adjust take advantage of granularity. Going forward, people blacklist as desired.

I don’t know how feasible this would actually be to implement (and of course it would have to wait for an adjustment of the tagging system code, though as I understand it that’s intended to happen eventually?) but I think it might be a decent baseline for how to crack this problem.

It’s possible there’s a better way to split things than content/mentions of, but that seems the clear one to me (if in need of better wording than I gave it). It’s also possible I’m overestimating users and people would abuse or ignore this system, but I don’t think it would make anything worse? And might incentivise people to lie and omit tertiary warnings less, by having there be less (at least perceived) penalty of getting skipped over for the warnings before getting to context.

I also think the way the bigotry tags work, where “[Form of bigotry]” is a tag and “Sexualized [Form of bigotry]” is also a tag, and the former must be tagged alongside the latter, could possibly be expanded? Like, expecting people to know the generalized fetish term for something isn’t terribly user-unfriendly, but over enough subjects to kinkify it’s a little bit much. But if it’s as simple as “Character Death” and “Sexualized Character Death”, I think that could increase granularity with only negligible cost of people not knowing how to block what they want to block or properly tag what they have to tag. But this system wouldn’t be perfect, as uh... all the prompts tagged “Sexualized X” without “X” will tell you. (Unless that got solved when I wasn’t looking, which would be pretty cool, actually. It feels like something auto-including parent warnings can solve pretty easily, anyways.)

Edit: (And to be clear, in my idea, putting something in the mentions box blacklist hides any prompt that has it in the mentions or content warning boxes. I guess it could also work selectively, but that mainly helps people who want to search for tag X and only get prompts really about warning X; but under this system, they just use the content warning field in their search and be peachy. Though if that’s not feasible with the blacklist section as written, having to have a copy of your mentions blacklist in your main warnings blacklist isn’t very hard to do, if it can be communicated to users clearly enough that you do have to do it.)

#cherp

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