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gb-fics · 3 years

Text

Unprovable

Fanfiction:

Kiryuuin Shou x Kyan Yutaka (Golden Bomber)

Note: This fic is set in 2003, so before the official foundation of Golden Bomber, when Shou was still trying to become a comedian. They watch a movie and if you know it, you get what I’m talking about, but it’s perfectly understandable without having seen it as well (^-^) Oh, and it does get a little sexual, just so you know.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed on a certain musician in this fic are solely those of the characters and in no way reflect those of the author!

“Here, make yourself comfortable”, Shou offered and threw two pillows onto the futon he had just rolled out on the floor.

There was no other place to sit. Even laying out the futon had proven difficult enough and there wasn’t enough space for even a single chair in the apartment.

Yutaka sat down on the futon, propping up one of the pillows against the wall, so he could rest his back against it. He looked around the apartment. He had visited Shou before, but usually it was just to pick him up. The one-room apartment was too small to welcome several guests at once. Due to the size and probably also due to monetary issues, Shou hardly owned furniture. He kept his place a lot cleaner than you would expect of a 19-year-old single guy, though.

“I’m so excited”, Shou said, fumbling with the laptop while keeping his back on Yutaka. “I’m sure the movie will be amazing. Gackt is so cool! Did you realize his character is also named Shou in the movie? It’s like we have a connection!”

Yutaka watched his hunched back. Shou had the ability to remain standing still while also moving around too much. Sometimes, Yutaka thought he just seemed to be brimming with energy.

“Ph, Gackt”, he muttered, partly because he really didn’t understand why Shou liked him so much, and partly to make a point. “I’m sure Hyde will steal the show.”

Even if he didn’t like Gackt much, he was still oddly happy that he was in the movie. Shou loved Gackt and Yutaka loved Hyde. It was obvious they both wanted to see Moon Child as soon as it came out, so it was only logical they did so together. None of their friends had wanted to watch with them.

While Yutaka was grateful for that, it also made him nervous. They hung out with a group of friends often, but he rarely spent time alone with Shou. The movie offered the perfect excuse to do just that.

Being alone with him at his apartment made Yutaka feel giddy.

It was true, that Shou didn’t look like much at first glance, but Yutaka had realized just how charismatic he was quite early on anyway. Shou was funny and witty, and he had a way of looking at you when you spoke, that really made you feel listened to. He was just the type of guy, whom you didn’t want to let down. In his presence, Yutaka wanted to be interesting to make his attentive listening worth it. He wanted to be funny and make him laugh, because he didn’t want to fall short next to him, and because there was something about his laughter, that made you feel all warm and queasy inside.

Yutaka hadn’t noticed any of the other guys going out of their way that much to appeal to Shou, but he was sure, that it was universal. He was such a unique guy that it was impossible to not want to be liked by him. Even after knowing him for years now, Yutaka still felt nervous around him, because he wanted to be Shou’s friend so badly.

“Yeah, I mean, Hyde is pretty and all that. But Gackt is cool, in a manly way. He is so tall and handsome. He is all that a man should be.”

Yutaka’s face started to feel hot.

“Well, I for one prefer pretty over manly, homo”, he teased, though he was aware it was a problematic statement. It implied he liked Hyde after all, who was also a man – even if he was small. He also didn’t want Shou to feel like he thought it was weird to think of another man as handsome. His face still felt hot. He was uncomfortable, but couldn’t explain why.

“Please”, Shou said lightly and finally turned around, carrying the laptop over to the futon. “It’s not gay, as long as you are topping or if it’s Gackt.”

He uttered it with such confidence, that Yutaka snorted with laughter.

“Are you sure you’d sleep with him?”, he asked, but he was also relieved that Shou acted so casual about the matter. For some reason, Yutaka thought it was nice that he didn’t seem to worry if he sounded ambiguous about his sexuality.

“Absolutely”, Shou confirmed and put the disc into the drive of the laptop. They had pre-ordered the movie together at the rental store.

Yutaka smirked. They both knew that Shou meant it and that it was a lie nonetheless. He probably didn’t mind the thought, but in reality, he’d chicken out for sure. But it was not like Gackt would ever offer himself, so he’d never be proven wrong either. It was an unprovable truth only.

“I mean, Hyde is really good looking …”, Yutaka said, trying not to be a bore. He didn’t want Shou to think of him as prudish. “Hell, he’s definitely prettier than the girls at my school.”

Shou gave a quiet hum, but turned away to search for something.

Yutaka cursed himself for bringing up girls. He knew that it was a matter Shou didn’t enjoy talking about, because it made him insecure, although he got his fair share of confessions as well. He acted like he was ugly, when really, he was reasonably handsome and the bleached hair drew attention to him easily. Moreover, even if he was somewhat bowlegged, his thighs and butt looked great in tight jeans.

He had also forgotten how quiet Shou could get in private. There were people, who were shy in large groups, but livened up once you met them one-on-one. With Shou it was exactly the opposite. When they met with friends, he always had to be the centre of attention. He seemed to thrive on making everyone laugh and entertaining them. But when they were alone, his introverted side showed more clearly. Shou wasn’t going to reply to Yutaka’s comment on the girls, but he would probably overthink it all by himself. Yutaka wished he was more practiced at dealing with this private version of Shou. He wanted to change the topic somehow, but he didn’t know what to say.

Shou turned back and held up a pair of earphones.

“Here”, he announced and plugged them into the laptop. “We’ll need to share them.”

“Why don’t we listen to it out loud?”, Yutaka asked, although he kind of liked the thought of sharing headphones with Shou. There was something intimate about knowing it was only them hearing the same things at the same time when no one else could.

Shou pointed to the wall.

“The neighbours”, he explained. “The walls are so thin, otherwise they’ll hear every word. I don’t want to torture them with an entire movie.”

Yutaka rolled his eyes.

“Your place really is a dump”, he muttered.

“We could have watched it at your place, too”, Shou said dryly. “In case your parents wanted to join us.”

Yutaka felt very hot all over again.

“I’ll move out in a couple of months when I start college”, he defended himself. It was important to him that Shou didn’t think of him as a lame loser. He had only moved out himself recently, but Yutaka still thought he was cool – living all by himself, performing on various stages, being talented. He didn’t want Shou to view him as some kind of stupid high school kid.

Although it wasn’t like Yutaka had a plan for when he finished school. He had this vague idea of moving out and studying, but he hadn’t started looking for apartments, he hadn’t settled for a course of study yet and he couldn’t bring himself to study for his final exams either. He felt like the last year had just passed by without getting him emotionally involved in anything. He hated himself for that somehow, for just drifting through his own life without taking control of it. He hadn’t achieved anything in the last months, he hadn’t paid much attention in class. The only thing he remembered clearly were Shou’s public appearances, of which he hadn’t missed a single one and listening to him talk about music and the new haircut he had gotten about two months ago and that suited him immensely.

With everything going on in Yutaka’s life currently and all the changes he had to worry about, his mind seemed unable to focus on anything but his friend. It was like he was so busy with running his private fanclub, that he didn’t have time for anything else. If his parents knew, they’d ground him until he was 30. They were nagging him enough as it was. They also didn’t like Shou.

Shou grabbed the second pillow and made himself comfortable next to Yutaka.

He kept the laptop on his lap but turned it towards Yutaka, so both of them got a good look at the screen. They had to sit awfully close this way. Shou’s leg was touching Yutaka’s leg all the way down.

Shou grabbed the earphones and held the right one out to Yutaka.

“Thanks”, Yutaka said quietly and took it. Their fingertips brushed against each other, although Yutaka was trying to avoid the touch.

He put the earphone into his ear and stared onto the screen. Shou was sitting too close to look at him properly and he didn’t know what else to focus on.

“Ready?”, Shou asked, his fingertip lingering over the play button.

“Yeah”, Yutaka said. He sounded a little hoarse, as if he hadn’t spoken in quite a while already.

Shou pressed play and settled down next to him. Both of them were wearing short-sleeved shirts and their bare lower arms were touching ever so lightly.

Yutaka concentrated on the screen, where the opening credits started playing. He felt excited and he tried to focus on the joy of getting to watch a movie starring Hyde now.

The video quality was surprisingly good.

“Why do you own such a high-end laptop anyway? Your apartment looks like you are dirt poor”, he asked, instinctively lowering his voice, although nothing exciting was happening yet.

“Porn”, Shou said.

Yutaka laughed.

“Pervert”, he said. He knew Shou’s former living conditions though and not having to share a room for the first time in his life must have opened up plenty of opportunities for him. If Yutaka was honest, he was probably going to masturbate all the time as soon as he moved out as well.

He focused back on the screen.

Hyde was looking great, although Yutaka preferred his formerly long hair over the short blonde hairstyle he cultivated currently. Still, his features were even in a way that still baffled him and his proportions seemed to match so well. Where Yutaka’s fingers just looked short, Hyde’s looked delicate.

Shou’s fingers were long, slender and strong.

“They are both so handsome”, Yutaka said, only because he still felt like he had to compensate for something. He felt like he had made a mistake earlier without quite being able to name it.

Shou didn’t reply, which Yutaka took as a sign that he didn’t want to talk during the movie.

He was probably right to pay attention, because the plot seemed somewhat confusing. It didn’t seem exactly good, either. Hyde and Gackt were looking cool on screen. They weren’t professional actors, though. Yutaka wondered, if thinking that made him a bad fan. It was fun to see their interaction, though.

Next to him Shou shifted his weight.

He adjusted the laptop on his knees, but didn’t move away from Yutaka. Their lower arms were still touching. A very warm feeling was creeping through Yutaka’s body from the point where their skin was touching. His chest felt warm with happiness.

What made the touch feel so good was that Shou wasn’t exactly the type for physical contact. Of course, he horsed around with the rest of them and even clapped people on the back and the shoulders a lot. But Yutaka had noticed, that the touch usually had to take place on Shou’s terms. He only touched his friends when he was able to pull back again. Leaning into someone was something Yutaka hadn’t even observed him doing with the girls he had been into. The fact that he was able to let his body rest against Yutaka so casually proved that Shou had to feel very much at ease around him. The thought made Yutaka feel giddy and proud and even made his stomach clench a bit, just because it meant he was special.

The sensation of Shou’s arm had distracted him from the dialogue on screen for a moment and he felt like they had already lost him. Somehow, the whole plot was confusing. The only thing he knew for certain was that Hyde and Gackt were acting weird around each other. There were too many gazes and too much touching. Not that male friends couldn’t touch each other without it being weird, but something was off in this case. If one of them had been a woman, Yutaka would have assumed they were in love. But the fact that they were both men made it more confusing. Technically, he knew that men could be in love with other men, but it just wasn’t part of his personal lifeworld, so he wasn’t sure if he was reading the signs correctly.

He wondered, if Shou was noting anything weird about the direction the movie was taking, too. If so, Yutaka should probably address it. It would be weird, if they just sat here together, alone at Shou’s apartment with no one else around, watching a gay movie. God knew how explicit the movie might get. He didn’t want to sit here in silence with Shou, watching two men kiss. If he pointed it out, though, they could laugh at it and it would no longer be an issue.

On the other hand, if Yutaka did point to it and he was just imaging the tension, it would make him look really weird. It would make him look like he wanted Hyde and Gackt to be gay, like he was fantasizing about them.

He tried to picture what it would be like, if they actually started to make out on screen. The thought made him grow hot all over. It wasn’t an appalling image. Did that mean there was something wrong with him? They had joked about it earlier. But that had been an unprovable truth. If Shou thought Yutaka was wishing for the movie to include some explicitly gay scenes, that would be a true truth. It was something entirely different.

Yutaka figured, that the safest thing was to pretend he didn’t notice anything. He didn’t even know why it bothered him so much. Just something about the idea, that those two men they admired so much could be openly gay for each other in a movie, made his heart beat very quickly. He felt like he was running. Why was he being so weird about this?

The scene changed. Yutaka wasn’t really able to follow the plot. He just knew that the next scene was somehow suggestive as well.

“God”, Shou groaned next to him. “Just kiss him already, dude.”

For a moment, Yutaka felt completely irritated, then he burst out laughing. It was a high, nervous laughter that resulted mostly from relief.

“Right?”, he agreed hastily. He was glad Shou had put it out there. He was glad it wasn’t just him. “The sexual tension in this is ridiculous.”

“Just do us all a favour and get it on already! It’s painful to watch!”, Shou accused the laptop passionately.

Yutaka continued chuckling. Once again, he had to admire Shou for how easily he addressed the subject. He didn’t seem uncomfortable at all to admit he would prefer getting a proper love scene, just like he hadn’t been shy to admit that his attraction towards Gackt at least didn’t outright exclude a sexual perspective. It was refreshing.

“Yeah, they should be doing it properly or not at all”, Yutaka agreed. “They’re both handsome after all. No one could blame them.”

“Exactly”, Shou said. “With their looks, it’s no wonder they want to fuck each other.”

Yutaka’s mouth felt dry. He licked his lips as if that would actually help.

He was irritated that Shou had put it that plainly. He agreed with him, obviously. He couldn’t blame any man for being attracted to Hyde. He hadn’t exactly pictured them having sex, though. At least when it came to the kind of stuff people did in porn, Shou was a lot more urbane than him. Once again, he felt like a silly child, although he knew that he was in fact more experienced than Shou. The few times he had had sex with his ex-girlfriend didn’t really make him feel like an expert, though. Since their breakup about a year ago, he hadn’t even dated anyone at all. He told himself that he just hadn’t met any girl that sparked his interest meanwhile and not that he had lost his mojo.

“Right”, he said.

For a while, they just watched in silence. Yutaka tried to picture Hyde and Gackt having sex. Somehow, he couldn’t.

“How …?” He broke off, because he had to gather all of his courage for the question. He didn’t want Shou to think of him as stupid and immature, but he was too curious to keep to himself. “How do you think they would do it? The fucking, I mean.”

He wasn’t just genuinely wondering about the technical aspect. What he was really curious about was rather if Shou had actually thought about it that much. He wanted to know if he had an answer to the question more than he wanted to hear the answer. He also wondered, what Shou’s real opinion was on the gay sex matter. The true truth, not one that was unprovable.

“I’m pretty sure Gackt would go on top”, Shou said matter-of-factly.

Yutaka burst out laughing, but rather with surprise, because Shou had obviously thought it through so much already, that he had missed the basicness of the question. Yutaka felt embarrassed to clarify, but somehow Shou’s self-assured answer also put him at ease.

“No, I mean. Doesn’t it hurt? I just can’t imagine it to be very pleasant to have something shoved up your ass like that.”

They were both still looking at the screen without bothering to pause the movie. At least right now, Yutaka was pretty glad he didn’t have to meet Shou’s eyes.

“Well, they always seem to enjoy anal in AVs”, Shou said. He paused. “I mean, the women. The women seem to enjoy it. I don’t watch gay porn.”

For the first time today, he sounded insecure, almost stuttering as if he finally worried about Yutaka getting the wrong idea. Eventually, he cleared his throat.

“Plus, gay men also have sex. I assume they wouldn’t, if it didn’t feel good.” He said that a lot more confidently, as if he was glad to have found a reasonable answer to Yutaka’s question that should have been obvious all along. Yutaka felt silly for not taking that into consideration right away. He just hadn’t thought about it before. Sex was something you did with girls. There was just no reason to think about sex with guys.

“And I guess if it’s just the kissing and stuff, it doesn’t really make a difference anyway”, Yutaka added. He wanted to prove that he could also be openminded.

Shou stayed silent instead of answering right away.

“You want to try?”, he finally asked.

“Kissing?”, Yutaka assured. His voice came out high and thin. He sounded ridiculous.

“Yeah”, Shou said, like it wasn’t a big deal at all.

“Sure”, Yutaka said. He tried to match Shou’s indifferent tone of voice, but he didn’t feel calm at all. He wasn’t even sure why he agreed to it, except he didn’t want Shou to think of him as a prudish bore. Sure, Yutaka could kiss guys. When it came to Shou, he always tried to act tougher than he really was.

Shou paused the movie. Somehow, that made it feel very official.

Slowly Yutaka turned his head. Shou was already facing him.

Yutaka realized that he didn’t mind the thought of kissing Shou at all. He was cool and handsome and looking at his plum lips made Yutaka’s stomach take somersaults.

“Have you ever kissed a guy before?”, Shou asked.

Although he was facing Yutaka, he kept his eyes cast down.

Briefly Yutaka considered lying to make himself look more experienced. He wondered, if Shou had ever kissed one of their common friends before.

“No”, he said softly.

“Me neither”, Shou admitted.

Yutaka felt all warm and somehow fluffy inside. Like someone was bloating pink cotton candy on his inside.

So, this was something only he was allowed to do. It would bring him closer to Shou than all of their other friends. For some reason, Yutaka wanted to be his number one.

“Cool”, Yutaka said, although it didn’t really make sense in this context.

He turned some more, but the position remained awkward. Shou shifted too, but he didn’t take the laptop down from his legs either. Yutaka had never understood how you were supposed to kiss properly when sitting next to each other. No matter how much he turned, his shoulder still seemed to get in the way. He also didn’t know where to put his arm. He considered putting his hand on Shou’s neck or his shoulder, but than a touch like that would have felt too invasive. He didn’t want to seem too into the kiss. They were just trying for fun after all, like boys did.

He leaned in further, hesitantly bringing his face closer to Shou. He kept his head tilted and closed his eyes. A nasty voice at the back of his head asked what would happen, if he missed Shou’s lips, because he wasn’t able to navigate properly in this position and how embarrassing that would be. He had never worried about this with girls before, although he had kissed them in similarly awkward positions.

His mouth was so close to Shou, that he could sense his breath. Yutaka could feel his own heartbeat in his temples.

He paused for a moment, but realized Shou wouldn’t close the distance between them. He had suggested it, but he didn’t have the courage to take the first step. He was probably overthinking right now.

Yutaka leaned in and kissed him on the lips gently. Shou’s lips were soft and dry, resting against his own briefly.

Then Yutaka pulled back, but only for a few centimetres. So, he had kissed Shou. And it had felt nice. Very nice indeed, but he wasn’t sure if they were done yet. They had agreed on kissing, but he didn’t know what that entailed. Their kiss just now had felt almost chaste. Maybe Shou had expected more, but Yutaka also didn’t want to force it on him. He had taken the first step, now he was waiting for Shou’s decision.

A few seconds passed and Yutaka thought that time had never felt this slow to him before.

Then Shou leaned in and kissed Yutaka back. His lips were still gentle but a little more urging than Yutaka had dared to be. Under the pressure, Yutaka hesitantly parted his lips just a bit to test out where they were going. He sensed Shou’s tongue sliding in between his lips and lifted his own to meet him. It wasn’t heated but entirely hesitant. The tips of their tongues brushed against each other somewhere between Yutaka’s parted lips.

A shudder went through Yutaka’s body violently the moment he sensed Shou’s wet tongue against his own. It felt surprisingly rough and so alive and so completely different from any other sensation than kissing that it was hard to compare it to anything in the first place.

The sheer intensity took Yutaka by surprise, though. He didn’t have any specific thoughts, but a hot sensation shot through his spine as if his body was reacting completely on its own. Blood rushed downwards and then Yutaka realized that he had a sudden, unwarranted boner just from feeling Shou’s tongue against his own.

Shou pulled back, for good this time. Their tongues hadn’t been entangled. They had merely brushed each other.

Yutaka shifted his weight, desperately hoping he would be able to hide his pants tenting this way.

He wondered, if Shou had also gotten aroused by their kiss. A part of him hoped so, because it would make him less weird and it would also be less embarrassing in case Shou happened to notice. But at the same time, he also hoped that it was just him, because if both of them were turned on by it, it would put a weird pressure on them to continue.

Maybe Yutaka really hadn’t kissed a girl in far too long already.

He looked at Shou, who was still avoiding to meet his eyes directly. Red dots were showing on his cheeks, the fair hair was falling onto his forehead and he was smiling shyly. Yutaka thought that Shou’s shy smile was nothing but gorgeous. It gave him a very strange dimple and his lips looked puffy and he wasn’t hiding his teeth nor displaying them; they were just part of his beautiful, embarrassed smile.

Maybe Yutaka just liked kissing him, though.

“Not so bad”, Shou observed. He kept his eyes cast down.

Yutaka kept staring at him.

“Stop looking at me like that”, Shou said.

“Like what?”, Yutaka asked.

“Like you’ve never seen me before”, Shou mumbled and turned his head away.

“It’s just …” Yutaka broke off. He didn’t know how to explain that he had indeed never seen Shou before, at least not as someone you could kiss. “You’re cute.”

“No need to sound so surprised”, Shou huffed. He turned away completely, facing the laptop again. The gesture clearly signalled that they were done here.

“Well, it really wasn’t bad”, Yutaka said and turned as well. He let his arms slide down to his lap to make sure he covered the bulge at his crotch. “That means it really doesn’t make a difference. Or you just kiss like a girl.”

He had meant to joke it off that way, but as soon as the words were out, they just sounded weird to him. Even Yutaka couldn’t tell how he had meant them.

Shou scoffed and adjusted the laptop on his knees before pressing play again. The movie continued as if nothing had happened.

Yutaka’s mind was spinning.

It felt like his whole world had just changed and Shou just brushed it off. You could kiss guys like you could kiss girls. And if Yutaka had wanted to kiss any of his male friends, it would have been Shou all along. Because he was so funny and talented and kind and sweet and smart and his lips were so soft. But if it felt this good and if both of them had liked it, why did they stop?

Yutaka stared at the screen and couldn’t help resenting the movie a little. He wanted to kiss Shou again.

The dialogue still felt like a lame excuse to film suggestive scenes between Hyde and Gackt only. If anything, it suddenly seemed worse.

Yutaka looked at Hyde with new eyes. He was really pretty. He thought of kissing him. This time, he imagined it easily. Kissing him must feel great. Yutaka pictured him with the long dark hair he had cut off by now. He imagined entangling his fingers in it to pull him close while they kissed. Hyde seemed so fragile, holding him in his arms wouldn’t feel that different from holding a girl. Shou was built differently. He was small, too, but stouter. Running his hands down Shou’s chest would certainly feel different, more solid.

Yutaka swallowed and tried to focus on Hyde again.

Hyde was objectively more handsome. It was normal to have somewhat of a guy crush on him. Shou might be the coolest person in his friend group, but obviously he couldn’t compare to a handsome rockstar like Hyde.

Shou moved and his lower arm came to rest against Yutaka’s again. His skin felt so warm. Yutaka’s body felt strange, almost feverish. The touch also felt nice, though.

Maybe if he just shifted his weight a little, their upper arms would touch, too. Yutaka shuffled a little closer to Shou, trying to make it seem like he was only adjusting his position.

Shou sat very still.

Their arms were touching from their shoulders down to their elbows now. That weird cotton candy feeling filled Yutaka’s stomach again.

He tilted his head ever so slightly to bring it closer to Shou.

He could smell his shampoo. It smelled strongly, pungent and of chemistry. It smelled like Shou had started buying the cheapest soap he could find since he had moved out. But underneath that, there was the faintest hint of something else, something like warm skin and a note that was just Shou.

Yutaka’s dick grew a little harder.

Now, this was ridiculous. Getting aroused by a kiss was one thing. But his dick really had no business reacting to Shou’s body odour like this.

“What are you doing?”

Yutaka startled. That was probably his own fault for sniffing his friend like this.

“You, uh, smell nice”, he said dumbfoundedly and backed off while being careful not to break their touch.

“Okay”, Shou said slowly.

It could have sounded sarcastic, but the fact that he kept looking at the laptop so deliberately made him seem tense instead.

Yutaka licked his lips and tried to focus on the movie again. Maybe Shou would want to discuss the story afterwards. It would be pretty embarrassing if it turned out he hadn’t followed the plot at all. From what he gathered, there was some kind of gang war going on, Hyde was a vampire and there was a lot of badly concealed sexual attraction going on. It was all very confusing. The current scene took place in someone’s bedroom. Gackt was upset for some reason Yutaka had missed entirely.

Shou moved his hand. The back of it fell against the back of Yutaka’s hand.

Yutaka’s pulse was rushing through his ears so loudly, it was drowning out Gackt’s voice.

During a regular movie date with a girl, this would have been a clear sign. And Shou wasn’t one, who just allowed body contact to happen. With him, it was usually choreographed.

His mouth felt incredible dry as Yutaka hesitantly started to move his fingers to rub them against the back of Shou’s hand.

He had to use his entire concentration on it. It was supposed to feel casual, so that he could play it off as an accidental touch, if Shou pulled back. Yet it was meant to be sensual enough to be understood as an invitation, if Shou wanted it to be.

Yutaka’s heart was beating violently as he kept hoping that Shou wouldn’t pull back.

Very hesitantly Shou’s fingers started to move against his own. It was an incredibly light, playful caress. Yutaka no longer paid attention to the movie at all. He didn’t pay attention to the room around them nor to the rest of his body. It was like his entire being was concentrated only in his hand and where Shou’s fingers stroked his own was the only point where he could feel at all.

He was breathing so heavily, that he was scared Shou could hear it. Hell, he was scared Shou’s neighbour could hear it.

He slipped his fingers in between Shou’s, which was weird, because their hands were still back-to-back. Shou allowed it to happen without looking away from the screen.

Yutaka knew that he could no longer take it. There was no way he would sit through another hour of this movie, when all he could think of was kissing Shou again.

He swallowed soundly. Shou could definitely hear that.

He realized that he had never had to make a move at someone before while being this insecure about their reaction. Yutaka had been with quite a number of girls already, at least when it came to kissing. But their meetings in private only ever took place after the confession.

Yutaka didn’t know, if Shou wanted to be kissed. He didn’t seem to mind awkwardly holding hands during a movie, but that didn’t mean he was up for making out with Yutaka. Maybe he would be taken aback. Maybe holding hands was only his truth as long as he didn’t have to prove it any further. It might all just be a joke to him, a hesitant kiss alright, but that would change, as soon as Yutaka came on too strongly.

Yutaka had no way of foretelling his reaction. But he also knew that he didn’t have the patience to just wait it out.

With an almost violent motion he leaned in and kissed Shou on the cheek, because it was the only part of his face which he could access easily without risking to throw over the laptop. He had gone in too violently and he almost clashed into Shou, but he made sure he couldn’t miss his intention.

“Yutaka, don’t”, Shou protested and flinched back immediately, pulling away his hand as well.

Yutaka went cold.

“Sorry”, he stuttered. So, he had misread the signals. And Shou would think he was weird. Shou would think Yutaka was a weird homo. He would tell all their friends, but even worse, he would feel uncomfortable in Yutaka’s presence from now on, and they would never meet in private again and Shou would keep his distance when they met in a group and Yutaka would lose him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it weird. I …”

Shou stopped the movie. It paused at an irritating still where Hyde seemed to cradle Gackt’s head.

“It’s not that”, Shou said and raised his hand. He seemed insecure whenever to wave it off or if he wanted to cup his cheek where Yutaka had kissed him. “I just can’t. I’m …” He broke off. “I’m so inexperienced.” He was nearly whispering. “I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

Yutaka furrowed his brow.

He didn’t know what Shou thought he wanted to do to him. He knew for certain that Shou had kissed girls before. He assumed that most of the touching so far had taken place fully dressed for him admittedly, but it wasn’t like Shou had never dated anyone before.

“You won’t”, Yutaka said soothingly, but he felt insecure, because he didn’t have anything else to say. He couldn’t give Shou any good reason why he wouldn’t. He didn’t even understand his worry in the first place.

But oddly enough, just that seemed to be enough for Shou.

He nodded and then took the laptop off his legs with slow, deliberate motions. He placed it on the floor awkwardly and it felt almost like a ceremony. For some reason Yutaka’s dick took that as a cue to bring itself back to attention. Probably because it knew what was supposed to happen next.

“Maybe you could …?”, Yutaka suggested and gestured towards the futon shyly. He didn’t want to make this feel even more formal than it already did, but sitting was just not a good position for kissing.

Shou chuckled and Yutaka noticed his cheeks colouring again. His blush always showed easily, probably because he was so pale.

“Yeah, I know”, he agreed and let himself sink onto his back, looking up at Yutaka expectedly.

Yutaka’s heart was racing again. Shou was spread out on the futon, all blushing and waiting for him. It looked like a kinky fantasy he had never dared to have. He couldn’t believe he was really allowed to kiss Shou. The Shou, whom he admired so much. Yutaka had felt nervous and eager to even be his friend and now he was allowed to get so much closer to him. Yutaka got excited at the prospect of being allowed to kiss him, but even more did he get excited by the knowledge, that Shou trusted him, that he wanted to kiss Yutaka, that Yutaka got the opportunity to prove he could make him feel good.

Awkwardly Yutaka bent over Shou. Lying on his back didn’t seem like the perfect position any longer. It was almost impossible to get on top of him without touching him everywhere. But Yutaka didn’t know what their agreement included. Was it just kissing? Was it touching, too? Soft caresses above waistline? Heatedly pressing their bodies together from head to toe?

He knelt down sideways, not daring to straddle Shou, and bent down. He had to place his hand next to Shou’s head to support his weight and not tumble down on top of him. He was careful not to touch his shoulder, though. He lingered over Shou, going out of his way to not let their bodies touch anywhere.

Carefully he lowered himself, stopping halfway through the motion.

Was he really just supposed to kiss Shou? He wished they would have talked about it either less or more beforehand. It would be better, if it had happened more naturally, with both of them getting carried away by the heat of the moment. Or alternatively, if they had agreed on what both of them expected from this more explicitly. But the way it was, Yutaka wasn’t sure how to get started at all.

He was about to sit up again to voice his doubts, when Shou reached up and grabbed his neck.

His fingers were strong and bony and felt very warm. He pulled Yutaka down with a firm grip and then his lips were on Shou’s again.

Shou pressed up into the kiss and this time, Yutaka parted his lips right away. Shou slipped his tongue into his mouth and Yutaka realized, that his former hesitation hadn’t been due to his insecurity about the kissing, but only because of his worry regarding Yutaka’s reaction.

He let himself sink into the kiss, suddenly caring a whole lot less if their bodies were touching or not.

Shou’s hand ran up his neck to the back of his head, entangling in his hair. It felt like he was trying to hold on to him for dear life and his grip was secure yet he refrained from pulling Yutaka’s hair. He managed to be oddly possessive and considerate at once, and his lips were demanding and soft.

Yutaka felt dizzy and he wasn’t sure if he was even breathing properly. He figured they were catching their breath in between, but their lips never parted for long enough for him to notice, or maybe he was only ever aware of his own lips as long as they were kissing Shou.

He put his hand on Shou’s shoulder, trailing down the side of his body. Although he wasn’t outright exercising, Shou stayed fit somehow and his body felt as solid and firm as Yutaka had imagined it would. He paused at his waist and even there he could sense the muscles shifting, because Shou kept squirming underneath him as if he didn’t know what to do with all his energy or how to get closer to Yutaka.

Yutaka came up, finally gasping for air.

“I like this”, he said.

“Huh?” Shou looked flushed and his eyes kept trailing off past Yutaka. He was still holding on to the back of his head.

“I like the way you kiss me. And how you cup my head”, Yutaka explained, his voice trailing off, because it suddenly dawned on him, that it was a stupid thing to say. Shou had seemed so insecure earlier that he had thought it would be nice to let him know just how amazing he made Yutaka feel, but it was weird and he should have kept shut.

“Thanks”, Shou whispered and finally looked at him.

Yutaka realized that it was the first time today Shou actually met his eyes and that probably meant he had done something right. His eyes were naturally dark, but right now they seemed practically black. They still managed to look warm somehow and Yutaka thought that he had never felt this seen before. His heart took a small leap.

Then Shou pulled him down again and they were back to kissing.

Without breaking the touch Yutaka let himself sink backwards, pulling Shou with him, who met his motions uncharacteristically fluently. They were both lying on their sides now, their bodies not quite touching except for their mouths and hands.

Shou let go of Yutaka’s hair, running his hand down his back, nearly wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

Yutaka trailed his hand across Shou’s hips. Even with the clothes covering his skin, the outline of his body alone felt new and exciting already.

This time it was Shou who pulled back. He was still so close it was hard to get a good look at his face, though.

Yutaka realized that his lips felt sore and swollen, but he didn’t mind at all. He just wanted to go back to kissing Shou.

“Can I …?”, Shou whispered. He said something else too, but his voice turned so quiet, that Yutaka could not understand him. He was creating so little noise that he was basically just mouthing the words with a soft exhale.

“What?”, Yutaka said. His voice sounded too loud in his own ears in comparison.

Shou chuckled, but it sounded a little helpless.

He pushed himself up, bringing his lips close to Yutaka’s ear. He had to bent over him for that.

“Can I touch your dick?”, Shou whispered very quietly, his warm breath tickling Yutaka’s ear.

Yutaka felt surprised that Shou would be so embarrassed about the question that he could only whisper it. He might be insecure, but it wasn’t the same as being shy, which he usually wasn’t.

Shou pulled back and nodded over to the wall next to them.

“The neighbours”, he whispered.

Yutaka understood and chuckled in return. Of course, the walls of Shou’s apartment were so thin, they had to keep quiet. Somehow, that made it even more exciting. Yutaka felt like giggling, but he wasn’t sure if it was because they had to keep what they were doing secret, or because he felt all bubbly inside and overflowing with happiness in general.

He nodded, although the proposal made him a little nervous. His cock was throbbing by now, but he did not longer feel embarrassed for being fully hard already. If Shou had just slipped his hand down his body, he wouldn’t have minded, but knowing he was going to do it in advance made him nervous, even if he didn’t think Shou would be shocked by the state he was in.

“I want to know what it feels like”, Shou whispered. He was far better at keeping his voice down than Yutaka was. His voice was barely audible, yet Yutaka understood every word. As close as he felt to Shou right now, he was almost inclined to believe in telepathy.

He sensed Shou’s hand travelling down his body, dancing down his chest so lightly, that he was hardly touching him at all.

Yutaka realized he was tensing up, nervous about what would happen next. He wasn’t sure where exactly they were going with this, but he also knew that as long as it was Shou, he wouldn’t be able to deny him anything.

Shou’s hand found his crotch and his touch turned from playful to firm fast. He didn’t need to fumble around as if he had known where he was going all along.

Yutaka gasped when he sensed Shou cupping his hard cock through his pants, realizing too late he was supposed to keep his voice down. Just saying that he felt the touch didn’t do it enough justice.

“It feels good”, he whispered breathlessly.

Shou laughed very quietly. His suppressed giggle was endearing.

“I knew it would feel good for you, idiot”, he scolded under his breath, slowly starting to rub Yutaka through his pants.

His moans came out in a small whimper, because he tried to keep his voice down so desperately.

“I was wondering if I would enjoy touching you like this”, Shou clarified.

It occurred to Yutaka that this was his cue to ask if he did, but he didn’t dare to get the words out. If Shou realized he was taken aback by his dick, that might mean he would stop kissing Yutaka too, and he was by no means prepared for that.

Obviously, he didn’t need to worry about that though, because Shou leaned in again and kissed him with full force, as if he wanted to swallow up the small signs escaping from Yutaka’s lips. But not only that; moreover, did Shou’s hand crawl upwards and Yutaka sensed him nestling with the button of his jeans. Shou seemingly wasn’t done with exploring new territory yet.

It made Yutaka realized, that he was, in fact, curious as well. The thought of Shou’s hard cock got him surprisingly excited. He didn’t dare to just reach down, though. Shou had asked for permission first after all. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it either.

He shifted his weight, trying to slip his leg in between Shou’s thighs.

Shou seemed to understand what he was getting at, because he lifted his leg, throwing it over Yutaka’s body. Almost instinctively, Yutaka rolled back, his arm still around Shou’s waist, pulling him along.

Suddenly, he was the one on his back, Shou somehow half on top of him. His left leg was draped across Yutaka, and against his thigh, he could sense Shou’s erection pressing into him though their clothes.

His body reacted to the sensation with new, surprising intensity. His brain didn’t even register it as something unexpectedly arousing, when his own dick was already twitching in his pants. He couldn’t recall if his first physical intimacy with a girl had been this intense as well. But then - even if it made him feel like a horrible jerk – he had never thought as highly of any of his ex-girlfriends as he thought of Shou.

He inhaled deeply, trying to savour Shou’s smell underneath that violent stench of cheap soap.

Their kiss had been broken for a second, but Shou found his lips again quickly. His weight was on Yutaka’s chest, which was uncomfortable but he didn’t care enough to adjust their position. He was too greedy to keep kissing Shou and run his hand down his body, so he didn’t want to break their touch for even a second.

His left arm was buried underneath Shou, so he couldn’t use it and it was moreover starting to fall asleep. The right hand, that had rested on Shou’s waist before, was roaming his thigh now. Yutaka had allowed himself to trail the curve of Shou’s fine ass down to where his leg was resting on Yutaka’s lap. He stroked up and down his thigh, which had always been one of his favourite body parts about Shou. It felt so surreal, that he was just allowed to touch it so freely in a tender, sexual way, he had to reassure that it was actually there under his palm and wouldn’t suddenly disappear. The fabric of his jeans felt rough and was warming up under his hand. Yutaka had no idea, if it was Shou’s increasing body heat seeping through the cloth, or if he was awkwardly rubbing it warm.

Shou moaned into his mouth, grinding himself against Yutaka’s thigh. Even just his voice caught between their lips was an arousing sensation somehow.

Shou was finally done with unbuttoning Yutaka’s pants and he shuddered, as he sensed his warm fingers brush against a line of bare skin on his abdomen.

He gave a small protesting sound, that was meant to indicate that maybe they should slow down, but also that he wanted Shou to slow down by no means. Shou shushed him with another kiss.

Yutaka thought that it was weird they were just rushing into this. He would have liked for them to take off their shirts at least first. He would have liked to run his hands all over Shou’s bare chest, to play with his nipples, that seemed to be just a little too close together. He would have liked to kiss down his neck, that was weirdly wide to carry his enormous head, and to softly bite into his funnily folded ears. He knew all those parts of Shou’s anatomy from watching them just a little too closely as he realized only now. But all that he had kissed so far were Shou’s lips and the only bit of skin he had touched was on Shou’s lower arms. It would be better if they slowed down and explored each other’s bodies properly.

Yet all the same, his cock was begging to be touched and he really had no intention to talk Shou out of doing so.

He sensed him fumbling with the waistband of his boxers kind of clumsily and unable to get a good angle to slip his hand underneath. His movements seemed to turn more frantic, possibly with impatience.

Yutaka chuckled into their kiss. His lips curled up and it made kissing feel weird and giddy, but he noted surprised, that it was possible to keep kissing even when you were laughing.

Shou joined in with his laughter, making their teeth click together and the whole kiss turned sloppy and awkward and it wasn’t so much a kiss anymore as just their mouths staying linked together and Yutaka thought that it would be nice to stay like this always, breathing, laughing, talking through the kiss, just so they would never have to part.

Along with his laughter, Shou’s movements slowed down as well and his fingers finally managed to slip in under the waistband.

Yutaka’s chest heaved violently as Shou’s fingers touched his dick. He moaned into Shou’s lips and for a moment, Shou broke the kiss as if he couldn’t resist the urge to hear Yutaka’s voice.

Since he had reached into his pants from above and Yutaka was still fully dressed, it was hard for him to get a proper grip on his erection. He managed to nestle his fingers around the base though and caress him with small strokes, for which he was forced to jerk his arm rather than just flick his wrist in this position. It was clear that he was still searching for a good angle, just testing the feeling of Yutaka’s cock under his hand for now rather than intending to get him off yet.

Yutaka felt guilty for not being able to keep his voice down, but Shou’s touch felt so good, it made him lose control of his vocal cords. His whole body felt strange and feverish like it was possessed by a force that didn’t belong to himself.

Shou kissed his cheek sloppily, but Yutaka wasn’t sure, if he was meaning to caress his face or had just missed his lips, either way he didn’t seem to care. He turned his head further and then Shou’s cheek was against his own and Yutaka could hear his breath in his ear loud and clear. Shou was panting as aroused as if it was him getting touched and Yutaka thought it was the sexiest thing he had ever heard and then he was already flooded with bliss.

He spilled himself right into his pants, before Shou had even figured out how to take him into his hand properly.

For a moment, he felt amazing and white stars seemed to sparkle behind his eyelids. Then he realized what had happened and his eyes felt burning hot. He was scared he was going to cry with embarrassment.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry”, he whispered. “I wasn’t meaning to … ah, shit.”

“Hey”, Shou said gently and pulled his hand back from Yutaka’s pants, sitting up. Instead of sliding off him, he climbed on his lap properly and leaned over to reach for something behind Yutaka.

He pulled up a box of tissues that he kept suspiciously close to where he was usually sleeping.

He grabbed a tissue and started to wipe off his hand as if it was the most natural matter in the world. He didn’t seem exactly bothered by what had just happened.

Yutaka was sure that his face was bright red.

“Sorry”, he repeated sheepishly, although he wasn’t even sure what he was apologizing for. That he had dirtied Shou? That he hadn’t given him a warning? That he had ended it, before they had even gotten started properly?

He decided that it was probably the latter. He was scared that this was it now. Maybe Shou had sated his curiosity and Yutaka had wasted his only chance of ever exploring his body properly by getting too excited.

“No worries”, Shou said and bent down, placing a light kiss on Yutaka’s lips. It was tender this time, and reminded Yutaka of just how sore and swollen his lips felt from all the kissing.

The short peck filled him with relief, though. It meant they weren’t done with kissing entirely yet.

Awkwardly, Shou climbed off Yutaka’s lap, scrambling to his knees besides him. He gestured towards Yutaka’s lower body region.

“You might want to clean yourself up in the bathroom, though, before it stains.”

Irritated Yutaka nodded and sat up a bit too hastily. He still felt silly, cumming too quickly and now needing a reminder like this. Shou really had to think of him as young and inexperienced, although it was Yutaka, who had actually had sex before. He was dizzy anyway. Shou made him feel like a complete beginner, nervous and clumsy and overly excited.

“Yes, sure, you’re right”, he stuttered and got up, entering Shou’s bathroom. It was one of those tiny ones, where you had to fold in the sink to even use the toilet at all.

Yutaka shut the door behind himself, although it felt pointless. In the small apartment, Shou would be able to hear the water running and everything anyway. He just craved a moment of privacy to collect himself.

He checked on his reflection in the mirror briefly. His hair was tousled. He’d been growing it for quite a while now, claiming he wanted to look more like a bandman, although they weren’t even playing in a band currently and he had pretty much given up on practicing the guitar altogether. It was just, that Shou always wore his hair long and liked the kind of artists who did and somehow, Yutaka had wanted to live up to his ideas of a cool guy.

His lips looked swollen. Licking them slowly, they felt puffy and vulnerable under his tongue. He had hoped they would taste like Shou, but honestly, they tasted like nothing at all.

Yutaka averted his eyes. He was too annoyed with himself to keep looking at his reflection.

Instead, he pulled down his pants and started wiping himself clean with some toilet paper. He wished he had taken the softer tissues with him, because of course, Shou only owned the cheapest kind of toilet paper.

He looked down on the remaining stains on the fabric of his boxers. Luckily, a lot of his load had went onto Shou’s hand, but that was only a small comfort.

He decided that it was to no avail and stripped down completely from the waist down. He felt ridiculous standing in Shou’s tiny bathroom like this.

He started cleaning his boxers in the sink, careful not to wet more of the fabric than was necessary, because he would have to put them back on. He considered just going without underwear, but that would feel weird as well. He could ask Shou to lend him something, but his pride wouldn’t allow that.

“Fuck”, he whispered, quite sure that Shou wouldn’t be able to hear his voice over the running water. “Fuck!”

He should have been cooler. He should have seduced Shou. He should have stayed on top and kissed him from head to toe. He should have made sure Shou felt so good, he moaned Yutaka’s name without caring if the neighbours heard. He should have been the one to touch Shou first. He should just have done better.

Instead, he had gotten as excited as a thirteen-year-old feeling up his first girlfriend. He couldn’t imagine how lowly Shou must think of him now.

He turned off the water and stood there waiting, as if the fabric would just dry within a minute.

He knew that he made it worse the longer he waited. He desperately hoped Shou would wait for him. That he was sprawled out on the futon, his lips still kiss-swollen, possibly naked and ready for Yutaka to return, so he could make up for what he had gotten wrong before. This time, he would kiss him all over and make him moan and Shou would forget how embarrassedly unskilled Yutaka had acted before.

But more likely, Shou would have changed his mind in the meantime and ask him to leave as soon as he left the bathroom. The chances for that rose the longer he hid in here, giving Shou the opportunity to come to his senses.

It still felt like a mistake that he had kissed Yutaka in the first place. Shou must have fallen for his tough act and thought that Yutaka was someone he was not. He couldn’t imagine someone as interesting and charming as Shou would even think of kissing him otherwise, even if it was just for fun. And now Yutaka had been exposed. Shou would not want to kiss him ever again.

He wondered why it even mattered so much, since he had never thought of kissing Shou before today either. But he had always wanted to be liked by him and he felt like a huge disappointment now.

Since he couldn’t hide forever, he started getting dressed again, though. The underwear stuck to his skin somewhat damp, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as he had expected.

Once more he checked himself in the mirror, straightening out his hair to make sure he looked decent.

Then he opened the door and stepped back into the room. He didn’t know what to expect and braced himself for the worst.

Shou had been lying on the futon, but shot into a sitting position once Yutaka entered. He was nestling with his pants. It took Yutaka a moment to realize he was buttoning up.

His eyes fell on the second tissue crumpled on the floor.

“Did you …?”, he started, the sheer disbelief making him sound ruder than he had intended. “Did you just finish by yourself?”

Shou peeked up at him through his bangs.

“Yeah”, he owned up. “I wasn’t sure if you would still … Is that weird? Was that a weird thing to do?”

He was speaking so quietly and sounded so insecure that it threw Yutaka off for a second.

“Kind of, yes”, he said. “I didn’t think you would just continue without me.”

He tried to speak less harsh this time, but he still felt irritated. It would have been normal for Shou to wait for Yutaka one way or another. If he hadn’t enjoyed their making out, he could have sent him away. But the fact, that he had just jerked off indicated that he had indeed enjoyed himself. So, why hadn’t he just waited for Yutaka to return?

“I’m sorry”, Shou stuttered. “I’m really bad it this. I just didn’t know if you would still be in the mood after finishing yourself. Or if you would even want to touch me in the first place. And if you wanted to, I was sure to get so excited, I wouldn’t … I thought I’d embarrass myself either way, so it would be better to just get it out of the way, before you returned. I didn’t mean to be weird. I’m sorry.”

Shou was talking so fast, his words tumbled into each other until they were barely understandable.

It was strange to see him like this, after he had seemed so secure all day. He had suggested their kissing casually, he had touched Yutaka like he knew what he wanted. He had been the active one and Yutaka had just thought him to be surer than he seemingly was.

He crouched down next to Shou, putting his hand on his shoulder hesitantly.

“It’s okay”, he said soothingly. “You saw how excited I got when you touched me, so let’s just ignore what actually happened and pretend we both acted like professional AV actors instead.”

He expected Shou to laugh at the comment, but instead he sniffled quietly.

“So, you’re not mad at me?”, he made sure.

Yutaka sensed a tightening in his chest. He couldn’t believe Shou would actually be scared of that.

“Of course I’m not mad”, he said softly. “It’s only your loss. If you had waited up for me, I would have taken you in my mouth.”

This time, Shou chuckled.

“Dang it”, he whispered.

They both knew that it was an unprovable truth only, something that was easily said after it was already too late. Yutaka doubted he would have found the courage to go down on Shou when even their kisses still felt so new. He did realize that he was not taken aback by the thought of sucking Shou’s cock, though. In fact, it was rather thrilling.

“Can I …?”, Yutaka asked insecurely and extended his arms.

Shou hesitated, but then he nodded.

Yutaka sat down on the futon and pulled Shou in for a hug. Just like before, the position felt somewhat awkward and like they didn’t really know where to place their limbs. But sensing Shou’s warm body against himself was enough to make Yutaka comfortable.

His eyes fell on the laptop that was still standing where Shou had placed it earlier. The screen showed the still of Hyde holding on to Gackt’s head, at which they had paused the movie.

Yutaka thought how unambiguous that pose would feel, if one of them was a woman. They would easily be identified as lovers by the audience. But since they were both men, it left you with a hint of doubt and some strange unaddressed sexual tension.

And Yutaka wondered, how he would feel, if Shou was a woman. How he would explain the warm feeling he got just from holding him in his arms. All the complicated emotions exploding in his body when Shou had wanted to kiss him. How giddy and nervous and happy he felt in his presence. How he always wanted to be around him and wanted to impress him, and how he thought he was the coolest, funniest, smartest, handsomest and most interesting person he had ever met.

If Shou had been a woman, Yutaka wouldn’t have doubted for a second, that he was in love with him, deeper and more irrevocable than he had ever been in love with anyone else before. But it hadn’t occurred to him before, although it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world.

“Shou?”, he asked quietly. “I think I like you. Like, for real.” He sounded as surprised as he felt about that revelation.

Shou laughed, his body trembling against Yutaka. His head was resting on Yutaka’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I also think you like me”, he agreed.

“Oi!”, Yutaka protested and pinched his arm. He wasn’t sure what answer he had expected. He hadn’t said it out loud so Shou would say it back. He didn’t know if Shou liked him in the same way, or if he had indeed just been curious and horny today. But his answer seemed rude regardless.

“No, I mean, you agreed to kissing me right away”, Shou explained. “Although you’re so clearly out of my league. That means you have to like me.”

“I’m not out of your league!”, Yutaka said immediately. It was weird, that Shou would think that, when it was so very clearly the other way around.

Shou laughed again.

“See, only someone who really likes me would think that.”

“Stupid”, Yutaka scolded and ran his hand through Shou’s hair to ruffle it as punishment.

“Seriously, though. I kind of thought you might, because you’re just always … there.”

Yutaka wasn’t sure what Shou was referring to. That he never missed one of his shows? That he always agreed to hang out with friends, if only he knew Shou would be there? That he had agreed to be in his band right away, even if he didn’t have a musical bone in his body? And that he had not complained when Shou broke up the band to become a comedian instead, but supported him, because he just genuinely wanted Shou to succeed at whatever he chose to attempt?

“Otherwise, I would never have dared to suggest it”, Shou added.

“It seemed quite spontaneous when you suggested the kissing”, Yutaka pointed out.

Shou snorted.

“It wasn’t.”

Yutaka didn’t quite know what to do with that information.

“So, you like me, too?”, he asked.

Shou shrugged and freed himself from Yutaka’s embrace. It seemed as if he wanted to get a better look at him, but he kept staring down into his lap nonetheless.

“I honestly don’t know”, he confessed quietly. “I’m sorry. I’m just bad at this. I only know that I go crazy around you. It’s like I can’t think of anything but touching you when we’re in the same room. I don’t feel that way about anyone else. So, maybe I like you. But maybe we just have the same pheromone wavelength or something and it’s chemistry driving me this crazy. How am I supposed to know, if I like you or if I’m just attracted to you?”

Yutaka smirked and shook his head. He was always baffled at what was going on inside this big head. He knew Shou could be moody and difficult and caught up in his own thoughts, but his mind always remained fascinating. Yutaka didn’t mind, that sometimes, he got tangled up in it.

“That’s fine, too”, he said. “You don’t have to be sure right away. We can just focus on the physical part and see where it goes, if that is what you want.”

Yutaka thought that he would be fine with that. Knowing that Shou liked him at all was great already. Seeing him this insecure put him at ease. At least, he could stop trying to look cool in front of him so hard. Shou obviously didn’t have it together either.

Deliberately Shou shook his head.

“I don’t just want us to make out whenever we meet alone. I mean, I do want that. But I also don’t want you do to it with anyone else. And I want you to keep supporting me and always be at my shows, but not so I can impress you, but so I know there is one person in the crowd who I feel safe with. And when we meet with friends, I want you to always chose to sit next to me. Not so we can steal hidden touches, but because it’s the natural thing to do. I want us to text each other before going to sleep without thinking about it. I don’t know.”

“That sounds a whole lot as if you like me”, Yutaka teased lightly. He couldn’t deny that he felt all warm and cotton candy like inside again.

“I’m just really worried that I’ll ruin it”, Shou owned up. “That I’ll embarrass myself, because I’m just not good at this dating stuff. I’ve never really known how to do it, how to make someone feel appreciated. I can never figure out how to deal with other people. Like just now when I touched myself instead of waiting for you. That was weird. You think I’m cool and talented and all that, that’s why you want to be with me. But once we get closer, you’ll realize that I’m not and that liking me was just a mistake. It scares me.”

“You know what?”, Yutaka asked and reached out to nudge Shou’s chin lightly. He was even more impressed Shou had found the courage to come on to him at all, and moreover this nonchalantly, when he was worrying about all that stuff.

“I don’t think either of us is especially cool. Maybe we should stop trying to pretend.” Yutaka paused. “So, do you want to be my boyfriend, weirdo?”

It felt weird to ask, like they were back in middle school, but then Yutaka hadn’t even considered Shou could be his boyfriend before, so it felt appropriate to put the word out there, just to make sure.

Shou sniffled again and then nodded eagerly.

“You have to promise to meet my eyes at least sometimes, though”, Yutaka joked, because Shou kept staring down into his lap. He really wasn’t good at making eye contact.

“Okay”, Shou mumbled and Yutaka leaned in to place a quick kiss on his lips.

Doing that so casually still felt unfamiliar, but also pretty amazing. He still couldn’t quite believe this extra-ordinary, complicated, gorgeous little creature really wanted to be with him.

He pulled back and Shou smiled that cute, shy smile of his again, with the dimple and the teeth and the slight blush on his cheeks. He met Yutaka’s eyes hesitantly, but looked away again quickly. He seemed happy, though.

“You want to finish that movie?”, Yutaka changed the topic and nodded towards the laptop.

He felt like it might be good for them to get a break from all the emotions between them to sort out their minds for a while.

“Yeah”, Shou agreed, who seemed to feel the same.

He crawled over to grab the laptop and nearly fell over while trying to reach past Yutaka’s legs. It was awkward and pretty adorable.

Yutaka propped up the pillows again and made himself comfortable, creating space for Shou to snuggle up to him.

This time, it was him who took the laptop on his knees and Shou curled up against him and it did no longer feel tense at all.

“Not to sound like the porn addict I am”, Shou mumbled. “But I really hope they’ll bone.”

Yutaka laughed and kissed the top of Shou’s head, before starting the movie again.

He looked at Hyde and Gackt continuing their little charade and he thought, that they seemed very cool and somehow polished. He could imagine them making out on camera and it would look hot and natural. They would undress each other without getting entangled in their clothes and their hair would look tousled but still perfect somehow afterwards. Their position would never be so awkward that someone’s arm fell asleep and no one would cum in their pants. They wouldn’t embarrass themselves and they wouldn’t be weird.

He didn’t envy them.

Absent-mindedly he ran his hand through Shou’s hair. He wondered, what it would be like to be his boyfriend. If it would be more complicated than dating a girl. If they would really manage to just switch from being friends to being lovers this smoothly. If they would have to keep it secret from their friends or if they would be open about it.

They obviously both wanted to be with each other, but alone at Shou’s apartment when they still felt happy and excited, it might just be the easy thing to want. Maybe it was only true for them right now and right here, but wouldn’t hold up in the outside world, when their relationship actually needed to prove itself.

Yutaka inhaled the chemical smell of Shou’s shampoo.

Or maybe, some truths were just so simple that they didn’t need proving at all.

#Golden Bomber #Kiryuuin Shou #Kyan Yutaka #kirikyan #fanfiction #fanfic

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autistic-stedebonnet · 3 years

Text

Mako’s Journey in Learning to Love Theater Kids

chapter 1

Chapter 3/?

In which Mako doesn’t cry, and that’s not necessarily a good thing

Mako did not like Wu one bit. He did not like how Wu would blow his curls up when they got in his face, in fact, he despised Wu’s curls and how soft they looked. He hated that Wu’s smile was almost blinding, and that his laugh was big and jovial and nothing like what he’d expect from someone who was clearly very wealthy and well-raised. Nope. Wu was obnoxious and loud and way too...touchy. There was not a single flutter in his stomach when Wu grabbed his bicep to show him something. And he did not feel suspiciously similar around Wu to how he’d felt when he first met Korra.

“You and Wu seemed to hit it off.”

Mako whipped his head around in horror to face a smirking Bolin. “What?! We didn’t- he just- he wouldn’t leave me alone!”

Bolin’s face softened and he lay a hand on Mako’s shoulder. “Hey. You know I’ll love you no matter what, right?”

“Bolin-”

“Seriously. If you like Wu, it’s fine Mako. There’s nothing wrong with-”

“I don’t!” Mako cried, trying to ignore his heart sitting at the bottom of his stomach. “Like Wu. I don’t like him. I’m…” No, he was not going to cry. Mako did not cry, or get confused, or falter on anything. Mako was composed and strong. “I’m straight.” He’d made an attempt to sound content and unwavering, but his voice cracked on the last word and his eyes burned. Stop it Mako, this is stupid.

Bolin dropped it and the car ride home was silent. --- Mako had been to the Earth Kingdom once. A little over a year before his parents were killed, his family had taken a trip to Ba Sing Se. Apparently his father had to do some work there, but Mako didn’t really remember that part. He wished he did. Anyway, Mako kinda hated the city. Everything was so rigid and divided and there was something unsettling in the very air, something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. He was only 7, but he knew it was wrong, separating people like this. He hated it and he wanted to go home.

About a week into the vacation, he’d gotten lost while out in the busy shopping center of the middle ring (his family wasn’t rich, but they were well off enough to afford a hotel room in the middle ring.) Practical even at 7 years old, Mako had planted himself at the front of a little tea shop and held his head high to try and seem intimidating. He’d tugged on the sleeve of the shop owner and asked in his most mature voice if the man could use the loudspeaker to report Mako’s location so his family could find him. And he waited.

He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but it wasn’t his fault that they people at the table near him were talking so loudly.

“...hear what happened in the fire nation last month?”

“Yes! It’s revolting.”

Mako strained his ears, he wanted to know what was revolting!

“The fire nation citizens are practically rejoicing, the poor souls can’t even recognize how unnatural it is.”

“Legalizing same sex marriage.” The person had scoffed very loudly. “Next thing we know they’ll be letting us marry furniture.”

Mako’s parents, and Bolin had walked in after that, hugging Mako in relief and scolding him for wandering off. Mako took it all in stride, like any 7 year old would, and went right back to his trip. But that overheard conversation stuck with him, whether he entirely realized it or not. It stuck with him at 8 when he found himself thinking that boy in his class was pretty, and at 13 when he found himself wanting to run his hands through the hair of a boy that he and Bolin hung around for a brief time. Even after those old-fashioned, bigoted notions had been set right, and after he saw Korra and Asami so happy together, it stuck with him. Maybe not in the way that made him actively hate gay people, but certainly in the way that made him sub-consciously hate himself. --- Bolin’s selfless act of dropping the subject didn’t last very long, nor did it stay very private, as he announced over breakfast the next morning: “So, Mako, I’ve decided to invite Wu over today. To, y’know hang out.”

Mako promptly choked on his moon peach and turned to his brother in dismay, still coughing violently. “You- why???” He cried.

“Well, he’s my friend!” Bolin replied grinning horrifyingly large.

“No he’s- Bolin you hate him!”

Lin, who had been sitting at the end of the table quietly, raised an eyebrow and Mako was sure that she was once again, wondering what possessed her to take them in 3 years ago. “Isn’t Wu that annoying little shit that paid his way into the advanced theater class?”

“He didn’t-”

“That’s the one,” Bolin replied, shoving the remainder of his food in his mouth.

Lin groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine, but keep Mako’s little boyfriend out of my way.”

“Lin!” Mako shouted. “He’s not- I just met him- I’m-”

“You’re straight, yup, I said the same thing when I was your age.” She clapped Mako on the shoulder and smiled in the same strange way she did when she was about to try and fail to give him advice. Like someone had pinned boulders to each of her feet and was threatening to kill her if she didn’t smile. --- Mako didn’t give a fuck what he was wearing that day. He had not picked out that one shirt that he’d accidentally crashed into a perfume barrel while wearing that one time because it still smelled like jasmine. Well, not on purpose anyway. In his defense, it was a nice shirt; a soft, black button up with red stitching and buttons that he’d been given as a gift last year. He adjusted the collar, which had a habit of sticking out in all the wrong ways, and debated on whether or not to tuck it into his loose, grey jeans. The ones he’d bought right after receiving his first ever paycheck working at Narook’s. They weren’t much, but they were durable and- what? Why is he thinking about his clothes? He’s not trying to impress anyone, spirits! Mako groaned and buried his face in his hands. Stupid, Mako, you have no reason to dress up… Maybe do slip on that nice red coat though- no! He stopped himself before kicking a hole in the wall, deciding on a simple sigh of defeat and sinking to the ground fighting back tears that were pricking threateningly at the corners of his eyes. This was absurd. He didn’t like Wu, hell he could hardly tolerate him. That was a lie, that was a lie and he knew it. But hey, internalized homophobia will do that to you, won’t it?

Mako wiped furiously at his eyes, gritting his teeth, because this was ridiculous! I’m straight, I’m straight, I’m straight, I’m straight, I’m… He shut his eyes as tight as he could manage, locking his thoughts away neatly in a box, like he did with all significant emotions. If it wasn’t about school or survival it was unimportant, trivial. He locked it away with his anxieties about Lin getting tired of him and kicking him out, his memories from before it all went to shit, and everything else. He was not having a sexuality crisis, nope!

“Mako?” Bolin knocked gently on the door, but as was customary with them, it was more of a warning than a question. He walked in and upon seeing Mako curled up in the corner, sat beside him. “Mako-”

“I don’t wanna talk.”

“Mako that’s what you always say when you really need to talk but don’t know how,”

“No it’s not.”

“Yea, it is, dude. C’mon, you know I’ve just been messing with you.”

“Yea.”

“Mako!” Bolin’s face was crunched up exactly how it always was when Mako got like this. “I don’t see why you can’t just talk to me! Do you think I’m gonna judge you for whatever emotions you’re failing at hiding?”

“Bolin…” Mako’s mouth hung open, but he couldn’t make the words come out. “It’s just.” He hardened his jaw and breathed in slowly, steadily. “It’s…”

“I know. Well actually, technically I don’t, but uh… I can try, I guess.” He sighed as if searching for the right words. “Look Mako, I have no idea what you’re going through right now, but we’re brothers. You can talk to me. I understand not telling Lin, cause she’s not exactly Ms. Advice, but you can tell me things.”

“I know,” Mako whispered, but his tone was stiff. He wasn’t gonna talk about it, not yet at least. But it was nice, knowing for sure that no one was gonna hate him when he finally was ready to talk. Not that he didn’t know that before, but…

“I’m gonna go, and… uh, Wu couldn’t make it, by the way. He’s busy. But I didn’t think you’d wanna have anyone over right now… anyway.”

Mako watched as the door shut behind Bolin and he leaned back until his head rested on the cold wall. He wondered if he might get stuck there if he stayed still for long enough. He also wondered how long it would take for his brain to sort things out. Lastly, he wondered if it was possible to go to Ba Sing Se to find those people that had single-handedly ignited a flame in his mind that over the years, had grown into a fire large enough to seep into all his thoughts and emotions and burn them to ash. He wanted to hit those people. He wanted to cry full on, big, ugly tears and not feel guilty about it. He wanted to stop feeling guilty about everything, blaming it all on himself because it was easier to carry the burden of everyone’s mistakes than to face his own demons that couldn’t seem to shut the fuck up. --- “You heard from that Lee girl recently?”

“Nope. Not since she started running numbers for the Agni Kais.”

“The Agni Kais? But isn’t she…”

A soft, almost mournful chuckle rang through the alley. Mako pressed himself further against the crates. He’d just come to get some food for Bolin, he hadn’t meant to run straight into Triple Threat Triad territory. But this conversation didn’t seem threatening at all. It seemed sad.

“Yea, she was. I heard they didn’t take too kindly to it. Don’t know why she joined to begin with. ‘S no secret the Agni Kais won’t hesitate to strike down anyone like her.”

“Desperate for money, the girl was almost starved.”

“Probably. I would’ve given her somethin’.”

“You…”

“Don’t go ‘round telling people, but I got a soft spot for the kid. She was smart, that little girlfriend of hers too.”

Mako’s heart was spiraling in his chest. Strike down people like her, little girlfriend… he felt like he was gonna be sick. He knew Lee. She was just a couple years older than him, had only been on the streets for two months after he parents had kicked her out. She was the only homeless kid he knew that had a phone, and she’d let him play games on it when he got overwhelmed. And she was gone. They’d done what? Killed her just cause she liked girls. They hurt people like her. They hurt people like that. They… he curled in on himself, biting his lip to stop the tears. They hurt people like him. --- Mako hadn’t smoked since he was 15. He’d picked up the habit when he was young and stupid and so so scared. It’d helped with the emotions that were too big and too complicated. But a couple years ago, Lin had found his cigarette stash and fake ID. She confiscated it all, saying that she may have no clue what she was doing, but she sure as hell knew that 15 year olds weren’t supposed to be smoking. That was the end of it. It was easier anyway, to not smoke. It was easier when he had a roof over his head and a guaranteed meal every night.

It wasn’t hard to get more, he knew that Lin kept some stashed away for when her sister came to visit and she needed an excuse to go outside, away from everyone. Su said it was a disgusting habit, and Lin would point out that Su hadn’t thought that when she was 16. Mako always tuned out the argument right about then.

The smoke plumed around him and he began to remember how he got addicted to this stuff. There was ash, sparks in his throat and he wondered if he would breathe fire when he exhaled. Wondered if a flame licking at his throat would make him feel alive in the way that didn’t terrify him.

He had planted himself on the roof of the apartment building, knowing that he could easily lean back the wrong way and go tumbling off. He considered it for a moment, then took another drag on his cigarette. It was cold and he’d left his coat inside. He brought the withering cigarette up to his hand, almost leaving a burn mark on his palm, desperate for warmth. Maybe if he stayed out here long enough, the smoke would consume him until he was ash in the wind. Maybe that would be easier.

---

chapter 4

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beetlebitchywitch · 4 years

Note

Ya know what I’m horny on main for? Angry!Beej. I have this constant fantasy of coming home much later than I said I would, a lil bit tipsy, having walked home in the dark and Beej fucking railing me against the wall for worrying him so much.

UGH ok y’all really got me going with these and I for real cannot complain at all

Also, let it be known now that I typically write from a cis!female perspective, given that I am a cis female. I would be willing to write from a more gender neutral perspective if asked, but I’m hesitant to write Beej with a cis!male, not because I wouldn’t want to, but because I wouldn’t want to contribute to the fetishization that MLM couples so often go through. Not to say that any other female writers that write Beej with a male are doing so, I just had a major problem with that back in the day when I first started writing fanfiction and I don’t ever want to do that again, because fetishizing gay couples simply for being gay isn’t cool my dudes.

CW: Name calling, light BDSM, general dirty things!

It was a coworker’s birthday at work on Friday, so you were all invited out for drinks to celebrate. Beetlejuice, of course, wanted to go with you. “To protect you from creeps,” he said, but really it was to keep a hand on your hip, ready to make it very clear to all in the club that you were spoken for, if only you’d say his name.

As much as you’d love to take Beetlejuice with you, you somehow think that being dragged away from any hopeful suitor by an unseen specter would not go over well. So, you begged him to let you go out on your own, promising to be home by 10, untouched and unharmed. Reluctantly, he agreed, so long as you wore his tie with your outfit- if he couldn’t go with you, he wanted his mark on you while you were gone.

You chuckled in amusement and slipped off to your bedroom to find an outfit to pair well with his striped tie, which you washed a few times in the sink for good measure given its…hygienic state. You eventually met Beej once more in your living room, a white button up and tight black skirt paired with his tie and the glittering sandworm bracelet he had made for you in the Netherworld.

Dear sweet God/Satan, you looked fucking delectable. He wanted to tear that fucking skirt, if you could even call that measly piece of fabric a skirt, off of your thighs and leave his mark on every inch of that smooth, delicious skin. But he knew how much you wanted to get out and enjoy some time with your friends, so he reluctantly attempted to shoo away his impending hard-on and stood up to greet you, whistling lowly.

“Damn, sweetness, you look good enough to eat,” he drawled, leering at you darkly. “And with my tie, mmm, fucking impeccable. Now, are you gonna behave for me while you’re gone, doll?”

You nod with a sweet smile, understanding how much stress this was likely to put your boyfriend under. You appreciated his willingness to fight his insecurities so you could have time with your friends- and you wanted to make sure he knew.

“I’ll keep to myself, I promise, babe,” you say, drawing your fingertips down the side of his face. “Until I get home, of course. Then I’m all yours, as a thank you for what you’re doing for me tonight.”

The tips of his hair flashed pink as he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly shy. “No need to thank me, babes. Just…don’t make me wait up. I want you to come back to me, safe and sound, alright?”

You answered with a simple kiss, rubbing your thumb over his cheek before pulling away and rushing out the front door with a wave. He sighed happily, drunk on even the softest of your kisses. God dammit, he was whipped…and he fucking loved it, damn you, you and your soft eyes and your warm smile and your beating heart. He stared after you for a moment before sighing and plopping down on your couch, already counting the seconds until your return.

2:00 AM, 5 hours later

Too many seconds. Too many fucking seconds. You were supposed to be home 4 fucking hours ago and he wasn’t sure if he should be worried for your safety, worried about your relationship, or angry at your lack of care for your promises. He’d spent the last hour debating on finding whatever bar you’d gone to and checking up on you, but the deep voice of anxiety in his mind warning him that he might find you in the midst of breaking his heart kept him glued to the couch, watching the front door anxiously. The minute he heard the knob turn, the pit of his stomach filled with a slurry of emotions.

You stumbled into your living room, reeking of alcohol and sweat and…who the fuck got close enough to you to leave their scent in your hair, on your skin, on your clothes? Beetlejuice rose from the couch, arms crossed with eyes of cold steel. You freeze- fuck, what time is it anyway?

“Where. Have you. Been?” he asked coldly, slowly, as if a perfect storm was brewing inside his lungs and ready to explode past his fanged teeth and lips worried raw.

“Baby, I’m sorry, fuck, what time even is it? I had too much to drink-” Without another word from you, Beetlejuice snaps his fingers, and you feel the intoxication flee from your brain, your senses coming back to you as your body voids itself of the remnants of your night out. Suddenly, it’s all clear- he’s been waiting 4 hours longer than you promised he would, all alone, thinking God knows what about what you were up to. “Oh…oh my God. Beej, honey, please, I’m so sorry-”

“Whose scent is on you right now?” he growled, crimson beginning to crawl his way from root to tip in his hair, his eyes flashing dangerously with barely-restrained rage. “Who the fuck did you let close enough to you that I can smell him from here?”

Oh fuck. You were in for it, and you knew it. Despite the constant coldness of his body, you could feel heat radiating from him, as if the anger was truly burning deep inside him. But there was something else- the tips of his hair were a deep, rich blue. He wasn’t just angry- he was sad.

“Baby, it was no one, I swear. There’s not much room in bars, people are pressed up against each other all the time! No one touched me like that, nothing happened.” God, you just wanted to fix this.

“Nothing happened, huh? Then where the hell have you been?” he yelled, his fists clenching at his sides. “You promised me you would be home at 10, yet here you are, dragging yourself in at 2 AM, and you don’t smell like me anymore, you just smell like booze and other men and all the fun you had without me. Tell me, babes, did you have fun without me?” His voice broke a little at the very end of his sentence, his eyes trailed on the ground. God fucking dammit, you fucked up so badly- he was willing to challenge his insecurities for you, willing to let you go out on your own despite how scared it made him, and you took that trust and you practically spit on it.

“Beej, please, I’m so sorry. Just…let me make it up to you,” you plead. Those last few words make his ears perk up, as if they’ve sparked an idea in his mind. Suddenly, he shoots you a snarling sneer, his hair deepened with streaks of magenta and his eyes locked on his tie around your neck.

“Oh, sweetness…trust me. You will.” In an instant, he has you pinned against the wall, lips crashing against yours, all teeth and tongue and wet heat. He hoisted you against the wall, his hands clutching your hips so tightly you knew you’d have bruises in the morning. You kissed him back ferociously, letting your hands drape over his shoulder and clutch at his suit jacket as your guilt is muddled with lust. He pulled away, smirking darkly at you. “I’ll tell you what’s about to happen, baby. You’re going to take my cock, nice and deep, and I’m gonna fuck you against this wall until the scent of whatever ugly breather got too close to you is gone. And if that takes all night? Well, I hope you’ve got it in you to cum more than once, because I’m not stopping, not unless you safeword. Is that fucking clear, or do I need to repeat myself?”

You gulped, feeling your panties grow wetter and wetter as he growled against your lips. Dear fucking Jesus, you still felt bad for what you did, but if it led to this…no, you weren’t gonna justify how you hurt him, but you were certainly gonna catalog this little escapade away for future exploration. You nodded feverishly, trying to lean in for another kiss, but he fisted his hand in your hair and held your head firmly against the wall.

“Stay still, Little Red, before the big bad wolf comes knockin’,” he drawled, placing your feet on the floor before tearing your skirt and your panties from your body. He whistled lowly, letting his fingers dip between your folds and gather your wetness on his finger tips. “Damn, darlin’, maybe you want the big bad wolf to come eat you up. Tell me, is that what you want? You want my mouth on you?”

A whine built in the back of your throat as you nod, biting your lips as his fingertip circles your swollen clit. “Fuck, Beej, please-”

“Oh no, I’m not your Beej tonight,” he snarled, letting his hand smack harshly against your ass. “Try again.”

“Fuck…Sir, please, please, your mouth!” you cried out. He chuckled darkly, gripping both of your thighs in his hands.

“Good girl, babycakes,” he said, letting his tongue trace along your folds, dipping in to circle your clit and reveling in the way your thighs trembled under his fingers. Your breathing quickened, your hands scrambling to find purchase in his hair as he tortured you with light traces of his tongue on your clit and down to your entrance. He let two fingers slip inside you as he sucked on your clit, growing harder at the sound of the long, deep moan it drew from you. When he felt you were properly prepared for him, he pulled away, despite your babbling protest. He unzipped his trousers, letting his cock spring out as he hoisted you back up against the wall, the swollen head dragging against your already sensitive pussy.

“Sir, please, I’ll be good, I promise, just please fuck me-” and oh was it good when he slid into you in one smooth thrust, his face buried in the crook of your neck and inhaling your scent. He growled, giving you a quick, deep thrust.

“You still smell like him,” he snarled. “Beg me, slut. Beg me to show you who you belong to, beg me to make you mine.”

“You, Sir, I belong to you, please, God, show me!” you cried out, grinding your hips down onto him. Something in him clearly snapped as he began to thrust into you wildly, his teeth sinking into your neck. You threw your head back against the wall, seeing stars and not giving anything even close to a shit because he felt so good, so warm, so strong. His cock hit that special spot inside you that made you clench around him, a hoarse scream wrenched from your lips.

“Yeah, right there? Right fucking there? Tell me, slut, that does that feel good?” he growled.

“Fuck yes, fuck, fuck, I’m so close, please please let me cum!”

“My, ngh, sweet little slut, you can beg harder than that can’t you? Fuck, you’re so fucking tight, so wet around my cock baby,” he groaned, pounding into you with such intensity that you weren’t sure how much longer you could wait for his permission.

“Sir, please, fuck, I’ll be so good for you, I’ll never come home late again, I need to cum, holy shit, fuck, harder, let me cum!” you cried, your nails scratching down his shoulders in ecstasy. He laughed, taking pity on you and he reached down to play with your clit, and one, two, three thrusts later you were cumming around him, arching your back away from the wall as he too spilled inside you with a quiet groan into your neck. Finally, you slid to the floor in his arms, both sweaty and spent and high on adrenaline and dopamine and whatever other chemicals your love triggered inside you. After catching your breath, you opened your eyes to see him staring back at you, with his vibrant pink hair drooping down over his forehead. You smiled softly, shyly, and ran your fingers through it.

“Beetlejuice, I mean it. I am so, so sorry that I came home so late. I knew how big of a challenge this was going to be for you, and yet I was entirely careless and that wasn’t fair to you. And as absolutely mind-blowing as that sex was, I don’t want this conversation to end there. You deserve better than that. I want to know how you’re feeling,” you murmured, pulling him next to you against a wall and laying your head on his shoulder. You felt him heave a heavy sigh.

“I’m better now that you don’t smell like some fucking sweaty ass breather,” he said. “But…I was questioning everything. I wanted to come find you, make sure you weren’t hurt or worse, but I just…I thought maybe you’d decided you didn’t want me, met someone else that made you happier, and that if I came to find you, I’d just see that it was all true.”

Fuck it all if that didn’t stab you right in the gut. You can see the tips of Beej’s hair fading to a soft blue, tinged with sadness, and you can’t resist the urge to lean up and leave soft, loving kisses across his face.

“There is no one that can make me happier than you do, Beej,” you asserted, meeting his gaze intently. “You really think some random asshole in a bar could ever live up to you? I mean, you’re the Ghost with the Most, you rock my world, you hold me steady when I’m weak, you make me laugh when I want to cry, I just…no one-night-stand in a bar would ever be worth losing your love, losing you. I love you, Beetlejuice. I love you more than you know, and that’s OK. I understand your fear, and I promise, I’m going to be more cognizant of how my actions affect you from now on. And if I mess up…well, sometimes naughty sluts need punishing, hm?” You added that last bit with a less-than-innocent wink, pulling a laugh from Beetlejuice’s lips despite the tears shimmering in his eyes.

“I love you too, babes, you know that? I never thought some fragile, living girl could ever hold me down, but I don’t regret it for a second. You’re mine, and I’m yours, and I know I don’t remember that a lot but…I’m tryin’, babes. You know I’m tryin, right?” he asked, unsure. You smile, leaning forward for one final kiss before pulling him to his feet and towards your bedroom- a very long cuddle session is in order.

“Yeah, Beej. I know.”

AAAAAAAH I really need to go to sleep but W O W

Also I know I got a little possessive!beetlejuice going in there but come on, can you blame me?

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice hc #beetlejuice headcanon #beetlejuice headcanons #beetlejuice/reader #beetlejuice x reader #beej #beej hc #beej headcanon

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cruezins · 4 years

Text

☣ ; ( KIM TAEHYUNG , 24 , HE/HIM ) coming up next on rebel radio is OPAUL by FREDDIE DREDD . this tune goes out to SIWON RYU . rumor has it they just rolled into town and are fightin’ for the GHOULS . they’re AFFABLE , INQUISITIVE but also AIMLESS , MERCURIAL so watch your backs out there . we wish them the best of luck here in our golded city of light . stay vigilant , stay dirty rock ‘n rollers and we’ll catch you for the next one .

𝐎𝐎𝐂 : hello ! i’m deni and i don’t know what editing is . i use she/her pronouns and live in the gmt+9 timezone . i’m terrible with ooc chats and half the time just want to vibe a connection or plot idea , so please don’t hesitate to throw a half-formed thought at me because i swear i’ll do the same . my discord is gay fairy#6371 . anyway , here is siwon , someone i’ve been work-shopping for a while ! looking forward to writing with you ♡

☣ ; 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐇 .

cw : drug mentions ; stop me if you’ve heard this one before------

his dad’s a junkie and he hasn’t seen his mom since some fatcats bought their restaurant for a steal a few years before , but that’s the way of life for a lot of people in the underground . young , bored , and desperate to hear and smell anything that wasn’t the rottenness of his own childhood home , siwon found himself on the streets more nights than not , spray paint in one hand , painting nights in greens and purples until reds and blues chased him away . makes his first steal before he can tie his shoes . creates alliances with the neighborhood kids , sneaks around to watch how the haves live with their pretty , pretty screens and their ugly , ugly words . school isn’t anything special , either , and while siwon can’t remember shit that he reads from a page he can work with his hands . fast and efficient , nimble fingers whether they’re flying across a keyboard or fucking around with some screws . you can make something of yourself , some of his teachers tell him while others can’t stop bitching about homework or tardiness or the way he falls asleep in the middle of class . but what’s siwon supposed to make ? he and his ragtag group of weirdos he calls friends . when he gets older and nights get hungrier , siwon learns to stop relying on the benevolence of neighbors and finds a job --- he’s fast , after all , with a sweet face and wide eyes , makes a helluva getaway after years and years of running .

thieving’s a natural grift . he’d been training for this his whole life . then he catches the eyes of a boss man who isn’t nearly as mad as he should be catching some kid with his wallet in his hands . courier comes next , ferrying messages from a bunch of suits all over the city . siwon never opened the packages , never second guesses the credits that start bloating his account . desperate , he does what he’s told and does it well ------ and that’s the real kicker , isn’t it ? that after a year and some-odd months of dedicated service they leave him high and dry with some bullshit he doesn’t have any involvement with . after years of running , boys in blue finally catch him and he’s left to take the fall of some dumb fuckery , man , and he’s pissed . steaming in jail , it’s a wonder some other gang didn’t get to him first . the longer he sat and talked with that ghoul member , the more he grew to despise the rich , the ones who left him to rot after all the shit he did for them . what was even the point anymore ? dog eat dog kind of bullshit , no sense of loyalty or shit anywhere . the law and all that money was out to get him from the beginning and siwon had enough of it . a few months locked up but he learned and leaned and learned , only able to get out on a technicality . the second he stepped back out into the sun , siwon followed the map given to him and signed up for the ghouls . city of light be damned . the only lights he wants to see are flames eating this hellhole alive .

☣ ; 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 .

➤ full name. ryu si-won ➤ date of birth. january 29th ➤ hometown. city of light ➤ gender. cis male ➤ affiliation. ghouls ➤ primary occupation. drug runner , pickpocket ➤ secondary occupation. network manager at an internet cafe

➤ sexual attraction. pansexual ➤ romantic attraction. panromantic ➤ character alignment. chaotic neutral ➤ personality type. enfp ➤ temperament. sanguine ➤ wants. power , family

stands around 5′11 . broad shoulders , slim hips . floppy , messy hair and sun browned skin . half legs . a few pieces of silver in his ears and a small hoop on his bottom lip . dresses somewhere between a washed up rockstar , your college weed dealer , and a miami vice reject . style’s a whim with a closet’s chaotic mix of anything he thrifts or patches together . most of the time he’s sporting cuffed jeans , vintage blouse , a denim jacket or tweed blazer and thick ass boots . keeps all that hair back with a bandanna or a headband , hair ties on his wrist . nothing in his closet’s technically new and he loves looking for a bargain steal —— or simply just a steal . likes colors just as much as he likes his neutrals . wears a black air filtration mask and fingerless gloves . considers his floral button-up shirts fancy material and his trousers cut off at the ankles . likes the smell of old leather and the breathing of fringe on a jacket , the weight of heavy rings on his fingers and sunglasses swooped low on his nose . wears a monocle because he can’t be fucked with reading glasses . his hair’s been every color of the rainbow and he’s always changing it up thanks to temporary dye .

☣ ; 𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐍𝐄 .

hustles at arcade halls , scarfs down ramen and burritos like they’re gonna disappear , looks as comfortable in a dark , dirty alley as he does standing under all those lights in the neon district . pockets full of candy and a lollipop between his lips . likes cheap beer and cigarettes , fast talking and smooth smiles . gets up when the sun goes down . who knows if he ever gets a full night’s sleep , but you can find him taking a nap just about anywhere . seems to live for the dark hours and stays busy as a bee , at the internet cafe one moment and grabbing fried cheese sticks in the next before crossing the bridge to watch the street races and venturing to the tunnels for the fighting rings . complains about being broke but puts down bets faster than anyone . lives for the feeling of wind in his hair so the window of his top-floor one bedroom shit hole stays open all the time . feels the rain on his skin , plays with matches . learned how to assemble a gun in less than sixty seconds and stays packing nowadays though he can’t really shoot for shit . spray paints boobs on the sides of government buildings and dicks on malls . looks like an angel under all those holographic lights .

rides a motorbike and his skateboard . can do crazy math in his head and spot fake bills with incredible accuracy . can barely stand to sit still , always moving except when there’s a computer screen in front of him . gets addicted to things so easily it’s scary --- people , food , liquor , feelings . craves that intimacy , craves that closeness that’s always been denied to him . has a loud as fuck laugh and a love for sneaking into places where he doesn’t belong . catches extra cash on the side by fixing up broken-down machines and can figure his way around a motor with a bit of elbow grease . still sees his family . not as much as a good son would , but he sends cash when he can and looks after his younger sister , makes sure she stays well and clean . they don’t know half of what he’s gotten up to since he was let out of prison , but they might have some idea --- after all , who’d pay a crooked boy with a record as well as he seems to be ? when the sun starts to come up and he crashes into bed , siwon stares out the window and thinks about how in another world , or in another time he probably could’ve been something . could’ve made something great . but for now he’s just got a whole lot of anger , raw like a fresh wound he can’t stop picking at .

☣ ; 𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐓 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ?

➤ bonds. my loyalty to my friends is unwavering ; i owe everything to my mentor --- a horrible person who’s rotting in jail somewhere ; i fleeced the wrong person and must work to ensure this individual never crosses paths with me . ➤ flaws. once i pick a goal , i become obsessed with it to the detriment of everything else in my life ; when I see something valuable , i can't think about anything but how to steal it ; i have a weakness for the vices of the city .

he’s friendly , but he doesn’t make friends easily --- the ones that he has made , he’d do anything for . because that’s how he’s gotten this far , right ? all those people who looked after him when others tried to stomp him out . he’s still close with his teen friends who threw a few grifts with him , gaming buddies that he knows only through a screen . little escapes from all the other bullshit going on in the world . even though he isn’t a club guy , he runs into more than a few faces on his rounds . maybe they’re bad influences or sweethearts who help that touch starved affliction that comes from living in a city so wired . on the flip side , there’s some enemies --- competitors in the runner world , antagonists he meets at the races or rings for whatever reason ( insane bets make tempers run hot , who knows when they’ll flare for good and siwon’s learning the hard way how to keep his mouth shut ) . he’s fixed up a few cars or weapons for people recently because he misses working with his hands . y’know , making nice . then there’s people he’s caught in a crossfire with , where they’ve met something nasty one too many times before over turf , territory and clients . a newer face to the ghouls , he’s bugged someone into mentoring him , and gone on a few runs with someone he loves to call a coworker .

eager to prove himself as more than a green kid with a keyboard and an eye for detail , find him cutting deals and making trades in smokey barbecue houses , hole-in-the wall ramen shops or by taco tents . a full bellied class of clients are happy clients in his opinion , and siwon isn’t above not making deals with the other groups who’s names aren’t violent delights . speaking of which --- there are definitely some skeletons there he aims to confront , some old demons to fight from that class of people that fucked him over . there’s an ex lover in there somewhere , probably met in that pre-prison childhood phase when he mingled past class lines more ( ~1.5-2 years ago ) . someone he’s healthily fearful of for whatever reason , and maybe a vendetta against the family that scammed his parents out of their business and basically sent his life spiraling . there’s someone who isn’t what they seem --- he doesn’t know who they really are , and maybe they don’t know who he is , either . they’ll learn eventually . someone he’s protective over , someone who protects him in ways he doesn’t even know , and those he looks after because they grew up on the same side . desperate for connection , desperate for a place , he finds it all in heaven and hell .

#neongraves:intro #. 𝐒𝐈𝐖𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐘𝐔 ➤ DEVELOPMENT .#this is A Lot #but i had so many notes for myself #let's see how this pans #chaos reigns always

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hoodoo12 · 5 years

Text

The Old College Try

Barkeep has her sights on Tailor Rick. Spoiler alert: she’s got her work cut out for her. Extra thanks to @porkchop-ao3 for letting me play with her character! Due to some references made in my story, it is set after her great Charlie Foxtrot (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7). Mature.

⁂

It was a hopping busy night. You ran back and forth between patrons, supplying fresh drinks, clearing empty glasses, making small talk and filling server’s orders nonstop. Something major must have happened on the Citadel, because there were more Ricks patronizing the place than normal, and more of them than not were focused on getting plastered. But when that uppity Rick who’d burst into the Bar months ago, the one who’d wrecked your chances with Ice Cream Rick, you vowed to yourself to spend some time with him.

He was as well-put together as the time you’d seen him before: a smartly fitted teal suit, an equally fitted shirt with the faintest hint of a baroque pattern woven into it, an expertly knotted tie, and--here you leaned over the bar to look--the same leather wingtips polished to a high shine. You also didn’t miss how well his trousers fit. They had to be tailored, to support and emphasize the bulge at his crotch.

The color of his suit didn’t do much for you, but the way his blue eyes seemed to dismiss most of his surroundings did, and you grinned to yourself at the challenge he was going to be. It’d be an extra sweet victory to get him into your bed.

He moved smoothly through the crowd, twisting so he didn’t touch any of the other patrons. He steadfastly ignored them too, whether they cursed him when there was an accidental bump or called to him in recognition. It was obvious his goal was a seat along the table built into the side wall, where he’d be able to look over the crowd, but someone else slid into it before he could get there.

Knowing you were going to regret saying this, you called, “Rick!” just over the buzz of the bar.

The noise level dropped immediately as so many of them swiveled their heads to you. Pointedly you ignored them but kept your gaze directly on your target. He grimaced. Not exactly the response you were hoping for, but you smiled at him anyway and tapped the bar in front of a lone stool.

With a resigned sigh that you could almost hear, he made his way over.

Normal sounds of the bar--the crack of pool balls, bragging, laughter--started up again as he sat down.

“Hey,” you said in greeting, setting a napkin in front of him. “Nice to see you again, Rick.”

“Don’t call me that,” he said, looking over the crowd instead of at you.

Even though he grumbled, he sounded sophisticated. You hadn’t forgotten he was one of the only Ricks you’d met with a British accent.

It was on the tip of your tongue to point out that “Rick” got his attention a moment ago, but you let it slide. “Okay. What do you prefer? Richard? Mr. Sanchez? Daddy?”

That got his attention even faster. He spun around with a startled expression that melted into a snarl of distaste when he saw you grinning at him.

“Did I get one of them right?”

He ground out, “I’m called Tailor,” in a definitive tone.

You shrugged. “Whatever you’d like. I would have expected Mr. Sanchez. Or maybe Sir Richard Sanchez, habadasher to the Queen--”

You cut yourself off with a chuckle.

“Your mirth is misplaced, since you obviously have no clue that word has different meanings in England versus the Colonies,” he interrupted coldly. “I do more than simply sell clothing. I design and create high fashion for men and women. Therefore, Tailor. Not that I expected you to be familiar with even that word . . .”

He finished by making a show of looking you over, taking in your standard work outfit: a tank top and jeans. He couldn’t see your feet, thank god; he’d probably have a heart attack if he saw you wearing clunky server’s shoes! With the least amount of self-consciousness you could manage, you slipped your thumb under your bra strap--it had slipped!--to situate it properly on your shoulder and under the strap of your tank again.

He waited expectantly for your reply.

You narrowed your eyes and decided you couldn’t wait to fuck him. You’d win when you both were yanking each other clothes off. You decided maybe you’d keep one of his jacket’s buttons as a souvenir.

Laughing out loud, you said, “Tailor, I like you. Let me buy you a drink! What’ll it be?”

Tailor didn’t return your laughter. He simply told you he wanted a whisky on the rocks. You made it a double in a more expensive brand, and let your fingers linger on his as he accepted it from you.

He didn’t jerk back or scowl again, so you figured that was a chink in his armor.

Leaving him be for the moment, you decided round one was yours.

⁂

There were plenty more Ricks to flirt with; just because you had your eyes on someone specific tonight didn’t mean you wanted to close the door on others who may be back later. Most seemed more interested in drinking steadily, but some flirted back. Any other night you’d have taken one (or two, or three) home, but your sights were set on Tailor.

You kept him plied with drink and tried to carry on a conversation with him when you had a free moment. His answers were curt at first, but looser after a few glasses. You got out of him that the correct name for the color of his suit was Caribbean Blue, not teal; that he had designed gowns for the Queen and several other Royals as well; that his assistant was a nice woman but much too smitten with someone he called Mr. Whippy; that he usually didn’t come to places like this but he’d been in the neighborhood and--

Tailor, who’d not once given you full attention even as he tipsily spilled some of his guts, broke off his own sentence. Glancing in the direction he was looking, you saw a few members of the Council of Ricks enter the Bar: Riq IV, Maximums Rickimus, and Zeta Alpha Rick. The door almost closed again when Rick Prime came through as well. They were easily recognizable, even in new outfits you’d never seen before.

Tailor threw back the remainder of his drink and asked for another without turning to you.

He wasn’t the only Rick who’d stopped and stared at the Council members as they came in. For the second time tonight, the Bar fell oddly quiet.

“Where’s the rest of the Council, assholes?” someone shouted. “Too afraid to show their faces after that farce?”

“Suck my dick!” Riq IV spit back indiscriminately to all the patrons. Then, reverting more to the politician he was, his gaze seemed to meet every single person’s--including yours--in the place, like he was talking to everyone personally. “Our ruling stands. If you don’t like it, fucking run for Council yourself. For everyone else who’s not a complete fucking idiot, a round of drinks on me.”

A cheer went up. Whatever went down on the Citadel, free alcohol could smooth things over. You called a couple of servers over to help pull taps for the crowd, while you poured another double for Tailor and set up a vodka martini for Riq IV, who accepted it from you with a nod before heading to the table the other Council members had taken over.

You carried the new drink to Tailor, who was staring hard at the Council.

“Some Ricks seem a little anti-Council tonight,” you said conversationally.

“They better not get sloppy in those suits,” he groused, not taking his eyes from them, and not in the least replying to your statement.

Your gaze drifted to them again. You had to admit their new outfits were less obnoxious than the previous ones; they still declared “official” and “high-standing” but with subtlety, without the over-the-top gild and frippery that you were accustomed seeing on them. Or in the case of Riq, on your bedroom floor.

“What are they thinking, wearing those here? They could have worn burlap sacks and everyone would still know who they are! That fabric is hand woven and bloody expensive! If they fucking spill beer on it, who’s going to be the one getting the call to have it cleaned properly? Goddamn me, that’s who!”

It dawned on you that Tailor was muttering angrily to himself.

“So those are your designs?” you asked.

He shot you a look that advertised he couldn’t believe how stupid you were. “Of course they are! I’ve been after them to allow me to redesign those horrors they’d been wearing--they finally let me, and now they’re parading them around in a shit hole like this?!”

You took a second, then said, “I like them. They’re not so ugly. And it looks like the fabric is more substantial. Those other ones were pretty thin.”

“Yes they fucking were--” Tailor replied automatically, then cut himself off to appraise you with a keen eye. “How do you know the weight of the fabric from their old monstrosities?”

“Oh, you know. Just a guess,” you answered mildly, waving your hand. You knew you had a reputation among Ricks, but you weren’t sure if this particular Rick would be more disgusted than eager about it.

“You know them?” he asked sharply.

You nodded. “I’ve met a couple.”

“You’ve met a couple, and were able to feel how thin their robes were,” he said, as a statement of fact.

You shrugged and smiled, but didn’t elaborate.

Calculations were going on in Tailor’s head. You could tell. You had no idea what they may be, but you were called away again before he could say anything more. You hoped whatever it was burned him up, and he’d be more excited when you returned.

⁂

Typically with a Rick that you had your sights on, you’d flirt, you’d play up your cleavage. You’d joke and flatter; Ricks tended to eat that up. Occasionally, you’d be more up-front, but with your reputation and Ricks’ standard willingness to get down and dirty that wasn’t common. This Rick, however--

Tailor was either obtuse or a eunuch. Those were the only two explanations you could come up with for him repeatedly brushing you off. You dismissed the idea he may be gay; you supposed it could be possible but you’d never met a Rick that didn’t swing at least a little bit both ways.

So you turned on the charm. You were flattering, you were witty, you continued to ply him with doubles and made sure to lean far enough over the wooden bar to display your boobs whenever possible. He remained steadfastly annoyed with you.

The rest of the patrons seemed to loosen up regarding the Council being there--free booze helped--but Tailor continued to stare them down with laser-like intensity. The Council themselves seemed to be having a grand time laughing and swaggering. Several times Riq IV caught your eye; he raised his eyebrows and smirked at Tailor too. He also elbowed the Council members near him and made it obvious he was talking about the Rick at the bar. Each time that happened you noticed Tailor scowled and took a bigger mouthful of alcohol.

You decided to try and use whatever hatred Tailor was feeling towards them to your advantage, and once more struck up a conversation with him when work slowed down a little.

“So those new Council outfits. Tell me about them.”

He replied with only an eyeroll, to demonstrate how little he thought of your attempt to engage him.

Undeterred, you continued, “Did you have to take individual measurements, or could you just work from one of them?”

That ridiculous ice-breaker of a question made him pause and gulp for some reason. You thought maybe he didn’t hear you, or you didn’t phrase it correctly.

“I don’t know much about sewing,” you continued. “I thought that for tailored clothing all these measurements had to be taken, to get all the seams or whatever right. With Ricks, though, most of them are pretty much the same body type, so maybe it’s different? You could even just take measurements of yourself and work from it, right?”

Tailor closed his eyes for longer than a blink and his lips moved a little. You swear he was counting to ten. When he finally turned back to you, you could tell he was trying to keep his cool.

“Working from a mannequin or my own personal measurements doesn’t take into account variations of individuals. Yes, we’re all Ricks, but we’re not all the same. I’m sure you’ve been able to note the differences between the multitudes?”

It was meant to be a stinging shut down, and truthfully, it did hurt a bit. But eyes on the prize! It wasn’t enough to make you wilt.

“I have,” you admitted, leaning in close. “So you’ve had your hands on at least the Ricks that make up the Council members. Wanna go back to my place and compare notes?”

In the middle of a dismissive sip of whisky, Tailor choked. You laughed while passing him a handful of napkins, plus a glass of water; you always liked to be able to catch Ricks off their guard. You rubbed his shoulder soothingly as he caught his breath.

The slight commotion he caused made a few other patrons, including the Council, look your way.

“You okay?”

Even though his eyes were watering, Tailor managed to pull himself together and radiate distain. He slapped your hand away, not caring he was in front of an audience.

“I-I-I’m fine,” he stuttered in a croak.

There was an aura around him now, something dark and angry and it dawned on you there was a line you weren’t aware of but crossed. You get the sense he wanted to storm away, make a scene, but with people still looking over he cleared his throat and slipped off the barstool with a grace you knew he had to fight for due to how much he drank. Once standing, he pulled at his jacket to straighten it, and tossed a handful of folded bills on the bar.

“Good day,” he told you, barely moving his lips, in a tone that inferred the opposite.

He grabbed his tumbler and stalked away.

“Huh,” you said out loud, mostly to yourself.

Apparently it was loud enough for some co-workers behind you to hear; they were twittering, and more than one of them lay a hand in mock sympathy on your shoulder. Bruce, the bouncer with a mouth as full of teeth and wide as a shark’s--you couldn’t pronounce his real name in whatever his native language was; you just nicknamed him Bruce after the mechanical shark in the movie Jaws--even came over to whisper how disappointed he was you didn’t take Tailor home. He had money riding on you that you’d succeed.

You knocked him in the shoulder. Even a light punch made your knuckles ache.

Oh well. They can’t all be winners, you consoled yourself. Licking your wounds, you continued to flirt with the increasingly drunk Ricks still seated at the Bar, but none of them were going to be good companions for the rest of the evening.

As the night wore down, the Bar started leaking patrons. Maximums Rickimus--whom you had a hard time talking to after how your evening ended with him the last time you took him and Riq home--left. Other Council members peeled off their original group to speak to other people. You caught sight of Tailor sidling up to and chatting with a Council member you only knew by name. Rick Prime. You watched him straighten the other Rick’s jacket across the shoulders and swipe his hands down the other man’s back to smooth the fabric. You didn’t miss him giving a subtle squeeze to Rick Prime’s ass, and it all became clear to you why you couldn’t close the deal with Tailor.

Growling obscenities to and at yourself, mindless that there was still a bit of time till last call, you set yourself up a gimlet and drank half of it in one go.

“Not just downing a s-shot?”

“This is classier,” you snapped at Riq, who’d made his way to the bar. “And it’s bigger than a shot, so I get two swallows out of it.”

You proved yourself right by finishing it off with one more drink.

“Much classier,” he remarked drily. “Get me-set me up another vodka martini, so you don’t have to drink alone.”

Grumbling, but quietly, you complied. You didn’t give Riq his glass until your next gimlet was prepared. When you finally passed his over, he lifted it in a silent cheers to you, and took a sip. You took another large mouthful of gin and lime, staring daggers at Tailor and Rick Prime, who seemed to be sharing a private joke at the moment. Tailor hadn’t taken his hand from Rick Prime’s lower back.

Riq’s eyes slid over to the object of your attention, and he grinned.

“Ah,” he said in what sounded like sudden understanding.

With that one syllable it suddenly struck you that Riq had watched you all evening trying your damnedest to get with Tailor! You dragged your gaze away from Tailor back to him, and you exclaimed,

“You knew all along! You knew I was wasting my time!”

Riq’s grin widened, and he agreed easily, “Yes.”

“Goddamn it!’ you pouted, but it was more towards yourself than him. He heard that.

In faux sympathy, he put his gloved hand over yours. “I’m sorry you struck out with Tailor. I would have been happy to tell you he only hooks up with other Ricks, and that he’s been itching to get Rick Prime in bed . . . but what fun would that have been?”

“Oh, you’re a prick.”

“I’ll drink to-to that. Let me buy you another, and I’ll fill you in on all the shit that hit the fan today on the Citadel.”

Whatever victory it was that put him in a chatty, generous mood, it was fine by you. Anything to take away the anger at yourself for not realizing you were barking way up the wrong tree with the British Rick known as Tailor.

fin.

#fan fic #Rick/reader #Tailor Rick #Council of Ricks #the bar at the end of the universe series

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sofreakinmanyfandoms · 5 years

Text

Rebound - Chapter 4

@cryforfandoms, I know I have you beta-ing this, but it’s time to post it and I literally just finished writing it five minutes ago. I promise to have the next chapter done early enough for you to read it in advance.

That said...this has literally no editing because I got sucked into a Stony A/B/O fic and I’m dying to get back to it. I almost didn’t get the chapter done because I couldn’t pull myself away.

Why did writing this take so long? Because I hate totally BSing things, and that’s what I did. The farm is a real place in Queens, and some of this is stuff they have listed on their events page, but I’ve never been that far north on the east coast so I’m basing pretty much everything off of my experiences on the mid-western farms I visited while in college.

Word count: 1338

Warnings: Alcoholism starts to rear its ugly head. There are many thirsty thoughts. I mean, reader is spending the day with Steve, of course there are thirsty thoughts.

------------------------------

Was this a date? If it was, what were you supposed to wear? Heck, if it wasn’t, what were you supposed to wear? You stood in front of your closet mirror, a frown etched into your brow. With a sigh, you finally settled on your favorite sweater and some soft leggings. At least you could be somewhat comfortable physically if not mentally.

A knock on the apartment door brought you out of your admittedly less-than-productive thoughts. Opening it, you found Steve standing there in the same jacket he’d been wearing earlier, though he’d changed into a light blue button-down and… good grief, were those leather motorcycle pants? Either the man knew exactly how to make himself look his most attractive or he was completely oblivious to the effect he had on the straight female and gay male populations. You suspected it was the latter, which somehow made him even more attractive, and you almost hated him for it.

“Any recommendations for what jacket I wear?” you asked him, motioning him into the apartment. “You know, since I have no idea what to dress for?”

“Um, something fairly warm,” he said shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. The man would kill you with how oblivious he was before the day was over. “It’s a little chilly out and we’ll be taking my bike. Oh, and shoes you can walk in.”

That caught your attention. Mr. Innocent’s leather pants were functional, not aesthetical. “You have a bike?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “bought her in high school and fixed her up when I got back from the war. I’ve found that just riding for a stretch of time on the highway helps clear my head pretty well.”

“Okay, then.” You grabbed one of Clint’s leather jackets from the closet (might as well wear something that would protect you if the hunk of masculine perfection turned out to be a bad driver) and slipped into your most comfortable pair of boots. “Lead the way.”

Your eyes widened at the two of you exited the building and your eyes fell on the sleek black Harley.

“When you said you had a bike, you really meant you had a bike. She’s a beauty.”

“Thanks,” he beamed, a hint of pride coming through. “I try to keep her nice.”

“You’re doing a great job from what I can tell.”

You mounted the bike behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. Even through his clothing you could feel the flex of his abs when he shifted his weight for turns. How had you not noticed those muscles when you woke up this morning? If you couldn’t have alcohol to distract you, at least you had this specimen to keep your mind occupied.

Though you hadn’t asked where you were going, the ride was longer than you had expected. It was almost 40 minutes before Steve slowed and pulled into… a dirt parking lot. It wasn’t even gravel; it was straight up dirt with grass growing where it hadn’t been worn down by people driving over it.

“Well,” Steve said as the two of you dismounted, “we’re here.”

The sign said “Queen’s County Farm Museum,” and you fought back the urge to groan. What kind of date was this supposed to be?

“I, uh, wasn’t sure what sort of thing you’d like,” Steve said, seemly sensing your lack of enthusiasm, “but they’re doing a fall festival today. Haunted house, hayrides, live music, petting zoo – they’re even keeping their corn maze open late so people can do it in the dark.”

A fall festival with Halloween-type stuff? That… actually sounded kind of fun. You gave him a smile and linked your arm in his.

“It’s perfect. Lead the way, Steve.”

----------

Face painting. They’d even had face painting. You laughed as you looked at Steve, his face painted like an orange striped kitten. Your own panda design was getting itchy as it dried, but you didn’t mind. You hadn’t felt this light since the early days of dating Brock.

You’d started with the hayride. A lovely elderly couple had sat next to you and the lady had told you how she and her husband had met on a hayride nearly sixty years ago. They tried to go on one every year in memory of that first meeting. It had been a really sweet story, even if her implication for you and Steve had made the two of you blush.

The pumpkin patch had been next. You’d found a pumpkin small enough you could carry it back with you, but round enough that it would still make a good jack-o-lantern. It had taken almost an hour and Steve had looked ready to smash the next pumpkin you rejected before you saw it. He’d been so relieved you’d found one that he’d almost tripped over five others on the way to pay for it.

Then you’d found the face painting, followed by a trip into the haunted house. It was geared towards kids so you didn’t think it was very scary, but Steve had definitely jumped and grabbed your hand a few times. It had been that much funnier with his face paint on.

You’d probably never admit it, but the petting zoo had been your favorite. There were two baby goats that were just the cutest things you’d ever seen and a foal that seemed to really want to eat Steve’s shirt.

Now it was almost 9 pm and the two of you had just made it out of the corn maze. Steve was slightly freaking out because he’d stuck his hand in a spider’s web and couldn’t quite get it all off. The farm was closing for the night, so the two of you made your way back to his bike. You subtly reached out and brushed a spider off the back of his shoulder. He probably shouldn’t ever find out it was there.

The ride back was as peaceful as the wind down a highway on a bike surrounded by traffic could be. You kept your pumpkin tucked carefully under one arm, and Steve was careful around corners since you only had the other arm around his waist. At least, that’s what you assumed. (He was actually doing it because your grip tighten around him on the turns, and he was trying to draw out the time he could feel you pressed that much closer to him.)

He dropped you off with a smile and a request to see you tomorrow evening whether Clint let you back in The Archer or not. Why not? After all, he was practically a Greek sculpture of a man and you needed something to distract you anyway.

But even as distracting as the day had been, once you were alone in your apartment the images and emotions all came back. You needed a drink and you needed it now. With a sigh, you grabbed a coat and slipped your boots back on. It was too late to buy any hard liquor, but the convenience store at the corner had beer. That would have to do.

----------

Clint came home after a long day at the bar, ready to collapse in bed and sleep until the sun was high tomorrow. What he wasn’t ready for was the sight of you passed out on the couch, surrounded by a dozen beer bottles.

He tried to unclench his jaw as he pulled out his phone and dialed Steve’s number.

“Hello?” Steve sounded like Clint had woken him up.

“The point of not letting her in the bar tonight was so she’d have a night of not drinking.”

“Huh?” The man sounded genuinely confused. “What are you talking about, Clint?”

“Y/N. I thought you were taking her out so she could have a non-alcoholic distraction?”

“I did,” Steve insisted, suddenly sounding much more awake. “There was no alcohol involved, I promise. We went to a fall festival. It was a family thing, there wasn’t even hard cider.”

Uh oh. Clint sighed. “Then we have a problem…”

#rebound #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #reader #x reader #modern!au #au #queens county farm museum #date #date?#alcohol #addiction #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #masterlist #i still suck at tagging

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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Searching, Waiting, Looking -Ch02- (Trixya) - Pichitinha

A/N: it took me 84 years but I’m back with a second chapter. This is as cliche as the first one, a little bit longer and overall gay. It’s also on AO3 and I’m here on tumblr as @pichitinha

Chapter 2 - We’re all patiently impatient

Trixie makes absolutely sure that she’ll be at least fifteen minutes early to their agreed coffee meeting because the first time she’d met Katya had been the first time she’d been late to anything in ages and she already hates that that’s the first impression she caused. Granted, Katya hardly looks like the type of person that would hold it against her, but that was a fluke, it’s not who she is, and it’s important for her that Katya knows that. So she’ll be her usual Trixie early, ready for anything with her entire schedule planned out for her - both in her brain and in her little planning book where her whole life is stored, really - and wait for Katya if she has to. She doesn’t mind waiting, she’s used to it, but she wants Katya to know what kind of professional - what kind of person - she is.

As she’s crossing the street to the little café they agreed to meet at, though, she can see Katya turning the corner and arriving at the same time. Maybe she also likes to be early to everything. That’s a quality Trixie loves in people, especially those she has to work with, so she hopes it’s true. Katya looks serene, a bit lost in her thoughts, and it tugs a smile to Trixie’s face.

“Katya, hey!” She waves as she’s crossing once she and Katya are close enough that she doesn’t have to shout. Her outfit today is more tasteful - well, it’s less horrific, more normal and fitting for an afternoon out in a coffee shop, but the pattern is still troublesome and Trixie’s really curious as to how she always makes her looks work when they’re actually are super ugly. Maybe she’s just really naturally pretty.

“Oh, hey! You’re early.” Katya hugs her quickly, more of a squeeze with one arm than an embrace, and Trixie can faintly gather the smell of her shampoo, something light and breezy that she can’t really place but that makes Trixie think of dandelions flying in slow motion and that somehow matches the way Katya’s hair dances in the light wind that’s hitting them on the sidewalk. It’s poetic, almost, and it widens her smile a little.

“I usually am, yesterday was a complete rare event, I swear.” Trixie feels the need to explain herself, for some reason she really wants Katya to be assured of her personal qualities.

Katya merely raises both her hands as if in surrender. “Hey, I’m not the time police. It’s fine. Let’s go in, I really need a coffee.”

They find an empty square table at the back of the café where the light isn’t great - which explains why most of the students in the place are crowded at the tables at the entrance where the sun is peeking through the window - but it’s quiet and there’s space to spread sheets on the surface and it’s not on the way to anything so there shouldn’t be people walking by. Katya orders a black coffee, Trixie sticks with a tea, and soon they’re seated in silence and Trixie wonders where the hell one starts planning a wedding.

(She’d googled it, of course, for hours the previous night. She’s still lost, though. She has no idea what she’s doing. But she’s doing it anyway.)

“So,” Katya looks just as lost as she is, but she’s still very joyful. “How about we play a bit at our actual jobs of pressing a button in a camera and throwing flowers around in a room before we dive into, you know, planning an entire wedding from beginning to end with zero experience?” She places both her elbows at the table as she speaks, rests her head on her hands and opens a very large but clearly dry smile as she finishes her sentence, and Trixie can’t help the laugh - or rather scream, as her friends have complained she does - that escapes her throat. She looks very cute like that, younger somehow with the two pigtails she has adorning her face, and Trixie can see in the hollows of her cheeks the coat of foundation she’s wearing.

“Yeah, ok, that’d be good.” She smiles and settles comfortably into her chair. Katya is as easy to talk to as Sasha had mentioned. “I do more than throw flowers around a room though, sometimes there are ribbons.”

“Oh my, how could I forget the ribbons!”

They laugh together and both start digging papers and photos out of their portfolio bags. They turn to each other, each with a huge stack of things at hand, and both giggle again.

“You go,” Trixie offers, settles her things on the empty chair next to her and watches as Katya spreads a few simple wedding pictures on the table.

Trixie’s barely glanced at them but her jaw drops immediately.

“Ok, so these are some weddings I did where the theme was like fall, which is kinda boring if you ask me, but anyway. So each was with a different decorator and idea, of course, but this is a type of photo I always like to get with the couple no matter what type of wedding it is and I think it translates well, no matter what’s going on around them. What do you think?”

Katya has her eyes on the photos as she speaks, her eyes fidgeting over them as if she is nervous, but now as she asks Trixie the question she can feel her eyes on her, questioning. She doesn’t look at them, though, can’t tear her own eyes away from the raw emotion that’s displayed on the photographs on the table. The scenery is different for all of them, the colors matching in the pastel and hazel fall setting but different in every other aspect, and the poses each couple is in also differs - there’s a man and a woman locked on an embrace, their faces almost touching but their eyes closed, expression serene, and there’s one with two men, one hugging the other from behind with his head buried on his neck, their eyes also closed and happy little smiles, and the others all follow the embrace and eyes closed pattern, but in different ways, different expressions, different everything.

Except for the feeling. Trixie isn’t sure how she does that - how she gets the couple to portray exactly what she has in mind, even - but she feels pure and unadulterated contentment when looking at each and every one of them. She feels calm, in peace, and a little bit in love herself - with what she doesn’t know, but she feels it.

Sasha wasn’t lying when she praised Katya’s work. She has no words.

“I… these are phenomenal, Katya. Like, truly magnificent.”

“Oh, please.” Katya waves her hand, makes light of the situation, but a quick glance is enough for Trixie to notice the faint blush on her cheeks. It’s adorable, really.

“I’m serious, there’s so much emotion in these. How do you do that?”

Katya shrugs sheepishly, lets her fingers roam the pictures as if she’s reminiscing.. “I don’t know. I just… that’s why I became a photographer, you know? It was never about photographing something but rather what that photograph would mean. Does that make sense?”

Weirdly, it makes all the sense in the world to Trixie. That’s why she never sold herself as a wedding decorator per se but ended up doing those almost exclusively. She doesn’t know the couples, doesn’t follow their lives afterwards to know if it worked of if they got divorced the week after, but there’s just something when she’s decorating a room for a wedding, when she knows that the day will be important, even if briefly, even if only then, that the people in there will be at their happiest for a couple of hours at least, it just severely beats down decorating a room for a company fifteen year anniversary.

“It does.” Trixie sighs. “It really does.”

They spend another half hour looking over Katya’s pictures, Trixie’s intent on analyzing every single one carefully resulting in several minutes spent in every set of new photos that Katya displays. Trixie can’t help it, really, she’s beyond amazed with Katya’s talent. And she doesn’t seem bothered, on contrary, seems flattered and even a bit embarrassed at Trixie’s clear awe when looking at the pictures. She keeps pointing out details, describing what feelings she gets from each, and every time Katya seems a bit surprised at how well Trixie reads what she meant to show. Trixie’s proud of herself, if she’s honest.

“We make a great pair,” Katya mentions lightly at yet another one of Trixie’s observations, this time on the last set of photos she has to show, and Trixie feels the corners of her lips tugging into a grin before she can even process it. The words sound nice.

“I’m not saying we don’t, but your pictures are so clear. You’re really talented, anyone would get what your goals are.”

Katya shakes her head, but doesn’t let her smile disappear completely. She looks so pleased and Trixie’s a little pleased with her own self for it. “You’d be surprised.”

Trixie can’t picture anyone looking at what she just looked and not being completely awestruck. Katya’s talent is clear in every colors she uses and to think that people might not see that is mindblowing. “Some people are really dumb.”

“Ugh, stop with the complimenting already, it’s gross!” Katya swats Trixie’s hands away as she jokes, her eyes shining as she gathers her things to put them back in her bag. Trixie laughs at the cute grump face she makes and moves to get her own pictures. Katya seems absurdly interested. “Yes, show me your talents now.”

“Before you see anything you should know that I have unfortunately never had a photographer that could capture my ideas as I wanted them to be captured so don’t judge me too hard.”

Trixie isn’t usually shy about her work - she’s a good decorator and she knows it - but now that it’s her time to share her work her brain is haunting her with everything Katya just showed her - beautiful, amazing works of art -, and it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed.

Katya merely looks at her like she’s grown an extra head. “Uh, I’m a photographer? I’ll be able to tell that the photographer did a bad job, don’t worry.”

Trixie’s heart swells with her plain confidence that whatever she sees will be the photographer’s fault, and Trixie hopes briefly that she’s right, that none of the photos she brought - although chosen very carefully to share her talent - have any of her mediocre decorations, where the time was too little, or the theme too strict, or the couple too unhelping.

Trixie starts with her outdoor wedding photos, knows it’s a bit irrelevant given Shea and Sasha actually have a closed hall, but she loves them and their simplicity and the fact that her decorations have to match the existing nature; and she really wants Katya to see what she’s capable of - what she knows she’s capable of. After what she’s seen of Katya’s work, she wants her to think she’s a worthy partner. She knows she is, she just needs to prove it.

Katya grabs the first one off the table and puts it weirdly close to her face, her eyes squinting and roaming through the entirety of the picture, searching. Trixie is oddly uncomfortable, loves the wedding she’s currently scrutinizing and really hopes she doesn’t hate it because if she does, Trixie doesn’t think she’ll have anything else better to save herself.

“That was such a poor choice of lightning for this photo. They totally missed how a color gradient could have formed with the flowers and the sunset in the back.”

Katya moves to show her, places her finger on the middle of the frame where the intersection between the flowers and the sky is, but Trixie doesn’t look, she doesn’t have to. She had placed those flowers there strategically, had known that the sun setting in the back would create the perfect colors to follow the line of the flowers if taken from the right angle from the ground at the beginning of the carpet. She’d told the photographer that, several times, up until the point he had outright told her he went to school for this and she didn’t. He never did take the picture she wanted, never immortalized the image she envisioned, and the crappy photo she took on her personal phone is the only proof she has of that.

Now Katya’s pointing that out, after maybe staring at the picture for thirty seconds, and she seems sad at the missed opportunity. Trixie’s heart aches for a moment, because that’s a particular event she’s never really forgotten, was never able to replicate again, and she’s part sad by the confirmation that what she wanted was indeed possible, but mostly happy because Katya gets it. She wasn’t there, she didn’t see it, but she gets it.

“Trixie?” Katya asks with arched eyebrows and Trixie notices she’s been staring at her the whole time, mouth probably agape.

“Sorry, I just- hold on.” She takes her phone out of her pocket and frantically looks for the picture she took that day. She had an older phone, then, but she’s saved it through all the months and always has it in her gallery. “Bare in mind that I am not a photographer and this was taken with an old iPhone, ok?”

Katya nods even though she seems lost, and takes Trixie’s phone.

“Oh!” Katya stares at the phone for several long seconds, and then the right side of her lips tugs into a cute side smile, content. Trixie’s heart soars. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean. That was wicked smart, Trixie.”

Trixie can feel herself blushing, readjusts a bit on her chair as she feels warmth spreading all over her face and chest in pride. She never realized how much she wanted to be recognized for that feature that’d been gone unnoticed. “Thanks. I’ll never forgive the photographer for not capturing it.”

Katya nods in agreement, eyes still on the crappy picture on her phone. “It truly is a shame. Maybe next time you do something like this you can invite me to take pictures?”

“Yes!” Trixie finds herself nodding before Katya has even finished speaking, her reply perhaps more enthusiastic than necessary. “I think you’re right, we make a great pair.”

Katya finally gives her back the phone, stares at her again like her entire focus and attention are on Trixie and she can practically feel the weight of it. “We do.”

“Ok, so that’s basically it, right?” Katya asks staring up and down the page on her notepad where she and Trixie made a list of everything they have to do for the wedding - well, everything they think they have to do. They looked at several websites and discussed each item to see its real relevance and added a few of their own - are there oddly specific photography and decoration items? Yes - and currently they have an entire written page consisting of no less than seventy-four items.

“Basically,” Trixie snorts. “Yeah, I guess that’s basically it.”

Katya smiles and gives a little laugh, puts down the notebook with a sigh as she leans back on her chair and stretches. Trixie can see a tiny part of her stomach, then, and it’s lighter than her arms but tanner than her face and it’s fully toned. She averts her gaze when Katya speaks again, “So where do we start?”

“By moving to Mexico and pretending we never agreed to any of this?”

Katya’s laugh is loud this time and it fills the entire room and it is undeniably adorable. Trixie can’t help but smile in return. “Good plan,” Katya replies when she manages to stop, leans on the table still completely focused on Trixie. She hasn’t stopped smiling yet. Trixie wouldn’t ever stop smiling if she had her teeth, she thinks.

“I don’t know, there are definitely lots of things to do and we don’t even know the date they’ll get yet. Which, of course, is number one on the list. We don’t have a lot to work on right now.”

“Let’s discuss the couple then, maybe we’ll get some ideas. Tell me about you and Shea, how long have you known each other?”

Trixie feels her smile dropping for a second before she puts it right back on. She loves Shea, she’s been her best friend for years, but she doesn’t like discussing their friendship, especially with someone she just met, no matter how fast and easily they hit it off, even if they’re someone who knows and loves Shea as well.

“I met Shea back when we both still lived in Chicago. When I decided to move there from Milwaukee my friend Kim told me she had a spare room that she and her roommate needed to rent, so there I went. Her roommate was Shea and we became friends very fast. The three of us were inseparable.”

Katya raises her eyebrows, seems weary. “What happened to the third friend?”

“Oh, she’s fine. She still lives in Chicago so we don’t see each other all that much. But we talk everyday, I’m sure she’ll be the maid of honor.”

Trixie stops talking then, feels like she’s given pretty much all of the important details - what else could she say? Katya is still looking at her like she expects more though, and there’s a few uncomfortable silent seconds where neither says anything and both look uncertain.

But Katya recovers quickly, clears her throat and takes it upon herself to share. “So, I’m Russian.”

“Oh?” Trixie isn’t sure where she’s going with this, but she’s glad for the change of subject.

“Yeah. I mean, technically. I was born there but my parents moved to Boston soon after that. But anyway, I met Sasha in Russian 101 in college.”

“Why would you take Russian? Why would Sasha take Russian?”

“She didn’t, she was the TA. I did because I figured it would be an easy A. It was, but that’s neither here nor there.” She makes a dismissive motion with her hand and Trixie laughs at her sly grin.

“You cheated, you mean.”

“They never said a fluent person couldn’t take the entire language curriculum. French and Russian awarded me with an honors degree, thank you very much.”

“Cheating,” Trixie insists.

“Loophole,” Katya replies, a giggly sound marking her sentence. Trixie giggles with her. “But, anyway, we’ve been friends ever since.”

“Was she stupid smart at school, too?” Trixie asks, has always wondered what Sasha was like in college. If she was anything like she pictures, effortlessly good at everything and often praised, Trixie thinks she would have been impossibly jealous had they studied together.

“I don’t think Sasha knows how to be anything other than stupid smart, honestly.”

Trixie chuckles, nods for lack of what to do. “Yeah, I figured.”

There are a few seconds of silence in which they each finish their now cold beverages and Katya takes the opportunity to change her expression to completely serious for the first time.

“Do you… hm, do you like Sasha? Like as a partner for your best friend?”

Trixie feels her jaw dropping instantly, sits up straighter at the shock of the words - or rather her tone. She sounds convinced the answer is actually no. Granted, Trixie has several unresolved personal issues that may or may not have a side effect on how she thinks of Sasha sometimes, but at the end of the day Sasha has been a constant presence in her life for the past three years and she’s been a really good friend and a perfect match for Shea. Trixie genuinely loves her and she really hopes that she doesn’t give off the wrong vibe.

“Oh my god, yes! I adore her. Did she say something? Does she think I don’t?”

“No, no, no! Sorry, Sasha likes you a lot. You just made a face, just now. I thought… I misinterpreted, sorry.”

“Oh.” Trixie doesn’t know how to explain it. She can’t find the proper words when she herself isn’t sure yet of why she sometimes feels the way she does. So she takes the easy road. “Single’s jealousy, I guess.”

“A wedding decorator who wants to get married? Groundbreaking.”

Trixie scream laughs again, swats Katya’s arm lightly. “Shut up!”

“So, is she mad as a hatter or what?”

Trixie and Shea are seated as comfortably as it’s possible on Shea’s ridiculously old couch, the one she’s been saying for over a year she was going to replace and now she won’t because she and Sasha will buy a new one when they move in together after the wedding. They each have a box of chinese food and they are halfway through them when Shea asks about her meeting with Katya.

“She most definitely is. We actually hit it off pretty well.”

“You did?” She raises her eyebrows, seems surprised at that.

“Yeah? Why? I wouldn’t peg her as someone difficult.”

“Oh, she isn’t. I’m surprised by you.”

Trixie kicks her on the shin as she scream laughs. “You bitch!”

Shea laughs out loud, throws her head back for good measure, and Trixie cuckles to herself. She wonders briefly how it’ll be between them once Shea gets married. She wonders if the next however many months they’ll have before the wedding will be like a countdown of last moments like this. The thought leaves a lump on her throat and she tries really hard to force it down with her wine.

“I’m kidding, I’m glad you hit it off. She’s a good friend to have, she’s the most selfless person you’ll ever meet and I’m marrying Sasha.”

“Wow. Is it a Russian thing? It doesn’t sound Russian. She’s as selfless as a Russian. Nah.”

Shea smiles mischievously and places her empty container on the table, picks up her glass of wine. “Wow, you already know she’s Russian? It took me three months.”

Trixie rolls her eyes, is not surprised at all by Shea’s comment and has no doubt about where she’s going: there’s nothing Shea likes more than trying to set Trixie up. Anyone, anytime, anywhere.

“We were discussing how we met you guys. Because we’re planning your wedding. We’re business partners.”

“Sounds kinky.”

Trixie gets up then, fake exasperation. “Oh my god.”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m joking!” Shea laughs and moves to grab Trixie’s arm, pulls her back to sit on the couch. “She’s a catch though, if you’re interested. And she’s gay.”

“Much better than last time when you tried to set me up with your straight coworker, I’ll give you that.”

“She’s not straight, she’s pressured by society’s heteronormativity and she’ll realize that soon enough, give it a year!”

Trixie rolls her eyes. “You’re impossible.”

“Ok,ok!” She surrenders with a motion of her arms, light smile on her lips. “Tell me about my wedding then. Did you plan it all already? Can we do it this Saturday?”

“Yep, in fact we have already reserved the dumpster down the street.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely. How-” Shea stops talking when her phone lights up on the coffee table, Sasha’s name and photo on the screen. “Uh, sorry.”

Trixie dismisses her. “Go ahead.”

Shea gets up to answer the phone on the other room and Trixie takes these few minutes to breathe. She finishes her wine, makes the last sip turn to three as she stares at the apartment that Shea’s lived in since she moved to California a few months after Trixie. It’s familiar to her, like in sitcoms where it’s always the apartment of one of the friends that becomes the point. Kim always stays there when she’s visiting and so does Trannika even if she visits less. Pearl is there constantly and she always has Violet with her and no one is sure why they go to Shea’s place when it’s the furthest and not the biggest, but it’s their thing now, she guesses.

She doesn’t want to be that friend, the best friend in the Bridesmaids movie that gets jealous and bitter and ruins everything because she can’t get a hold of her emotions, but it’s hard when it feels like the last solid thing she’s managed to maintain is going to fall apart. Shea’s friendship is the one thing she managed to keep after all the turmoils in her life - leaving her family in Wisconsin, leaving her friends in Chicago, leaving a string of relationships that she wasn’t able to save everywhere she went. All her friends are married or in a relationship or some even happily single and Trixie still struggles with the ghosts of all her past girlfriends haunting her. She’s not old but she is getting older, and she hates the feeling that she’s stuck while everyone else passes her by. While life passes her by.

She gets up from the couch and grabs all the boxes and dishes to clean the place a little bit, tries to ground herself to the reality of the now and to convince herself that she’s overreacting and things will be fine. Kim lives almost on the other side of the country and their friendship is still one of the strongest bonds Trixie has. She’ll be fine with Shea having a wife. A wife that Trixie knows and likes and is friends with.

Shea is happy and that’s all that matters. It is.

“So Katya thinks you’re ‘one of the most talented people I’ve ever met’, quote, and seems very infatuated by you, says Sasha.” Shea says when she enters the kitchen and finds Trixie pouring herself some more wine, leaving just enough on the bottle for Shea to get half a glass.

“Sasha did not say that.”

“Ok, that’s my interpretation of what Sasha said.”

Trixie rolls her eyes. “You can’t expect me to date every single person you’ve ever met, Shea.”

“I wouldn’t keep trying if you dated one! You’ve been single for like five hundred years, Trixie, you gotta get out there!”

“It’s been like less than a year.”

“Potato, potahto. But anyway, she seemed really impressed with your work, Sasha says she’s looking forward to working with you.”

There’s still some sort of innuendo in Shea’s voice, but Trixie ignores it in lieu of the compliment, smiles despite herself. She can’t help the giddy feeling in her chest at the praise. She loves what she does and she loved Katya’s work and she doesn’t necessarily need validation but she loves that she got it, especially from her. “Me too! Her photos were mindblowing, she’s amazing. Your wedding’s gonna be, like, the best wedding ever made.”

Shea smiles back, seems happy at the prospect, but then she sighs a little. “I know that you’ll be the best decorator in the seven realms and that my wedding is gonna be the most beautiful in all of the lands, but I’m still sad you won’t be my maid of honor.”

Trixie sips on her wine at that, tries to find the right words to reply.

She’s sad too. But it’s better this way.

“You’ll forget about that as soon as you see how magnificent the hall will look.”

“I can’t wait. We’ve decided on a date, by the way. It’ll be in six months.”

“Oh.” Trixie’s not sure how to respond. Six months isn’t that close but she kind of thought they might wait for another year or so. “Already?”

“I know it’s a bit tight for the planning, but you know we don’t want anything too big, right? We’ll make it work, don’t worry.”

Trixie nods, smiles a bit as she pours a tiny bit more wine. The planning. Right. That’s why she’s surprised, because the closer it is the less time she has to plan.

“Of course we will, I’m amazing at what I do.”

“You are a conceited little country gal, that’s what you are.”

Trixie shrugs and grins into her glass. Her insecurities be damned, she’ll focus on the now. “Maybe.”

#trixya #pichitinha #searching waiting looking #lesbian au #romance #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #rpdr fanfiction #background sashea #shea x trixie

28 notes · View notes

roads-like-roses · 6 years

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Just Give Me A Smile (17)

Pairing: Jimin x Jungkook Summary: Jungkook sucked at human relationships. There were many things he ignored: how to talk to people, what to say, what not to say. Therefore, he was inclined to believe that being alone was his destiny. Oh, how unaware he was of how much a smile with a crooked tooth would mean to him. He didn’t know he could express himself and release his emotions through dancing either. But all it took was a flash of pink hair for that so called destiny to change. Masterlist

Jungkook stared at his phone silently, his face barely illuminated by the screen’s light. He was nestled on his bed while he was debating whether he should be the first one to call or not.

Clearly, Jimin wasn’t doing any of it for himself, so it was normal to believe that he would expect the guys to reach out to him. Still, doubt was eating him up and he needed to decide what to do, as soon as possible. He thought about calling Taehyung, but he had been clear the last time they spoke:

-I do not know what you are planning nor how will it turn out, but my gut is telling me ‘no-no’.

-Taetae, it will be fine, I’ll find a way to help him. - Jungkook had replied, wishing to sooth his friend’s concerns (maybe even his own).

-The only thing you will do is manage to get you both hurt. To be honest, I trust you more than I trust Jimin. Sometimes he acts like a child. - Taehyung had averted his eyes and played with the hem of his shirt, a clear sign that he was nervous. - But you are technically younger than him and, in some ways, as sensible as him. You cannot stop me from being worried.

Jungkook knew that his friend disliked the idea; his face when he had explained the basics to him and Yoongi back in the café had been enlightening enough. Still, Jungkook was not backing off. For the first time since things had gone downhill, he envisioned a bright future, which may be due to his idealistic head, but he couldn’t help but be hopeful. After wondering what had gone wrong, asking himself, asking his friends; worrying about Jimin and hating him, then hating himself, after such a long and tiresome process, he was finally doing something about the situation. The first step towards a different outcome, one that didn’t involve regret.

Well, that given that he could actually make the phone call that would put his unplanned plan to work.

-It cannot go wrong if I never start. - He said to himself, crossing his legs on the bed. From the outside he might look like a teenager about to call his crush and though the situation wasn’t far from requesting a date and he wasn’t much older than a teen, there was much more at risk this time. Jimin’s happiness. And Taehyung’s.

A deep breath wasn’t useful to take his mind away from ugly thoughts, so he threw himself against the mattress. He opened his chatrooms with with each and every one of his friends and assessed whether they would be able to help him or not. Jungkook was unsure of how many times he had checked and rechecked every contact in his phone until a message arrived, startling him. It was Yoongi.

From Yoongi:

Stop staring at you phone screen, i feel like you are looking into my soul.

Jungkook blanked for a second, not sure how Yoongi knew what he was doing. He turned his head from right to left, checking if he was alone and indeed there was nobody else in his room. A chill ran down his spine.

To Yoongi:

Wtf.

To Yoongi:

How do you even know what i’m doing

To Yoongi:

You perv.

A couple of second waiting for the Yoongi is typing… to become a message.

From Yoongi:

I saw you were online for half an hour, realized you probably overreacting with the jimin situation.

No sooner he arrived to the café the other day and explained the story to them, Yoongi declared that they had a “Jimin situation” and apparently he was going to use the term from that moment on. Jungkook exhaled a breath, trying to get rid of the weird feeling in his stomach caused by his friend’s spying skills.

To Yoongi:

…

To Yoongi:

Then…

To Yoongi:

Shouldn’t I be the one weirded out…

To Yoongi:

When you are the one

To Yoongi:

SPYING me

To Yoongi:

? :)

To Yoongi:

You still have the nerve to act offended and all huh.

From Yoongi:

I’m not spying you, brat. But one of the skills your friendship has taught me was how to read your mind when you are not talking to us. Very helpful, if you ask me.

From Yoongi:

Before you even think about it, don’t roll your eyes. If the wind changes, your eyes will freeze in the spot.

Before Jungkook was even able to start typing (or roll his eyes, because he was certainly going to do so), another message appeared in his phone.

From Yoongi:

Don’t try to correct me, I know how the phrase goes, but same logic, right? Anyways, back to the jiminie thing, aren’t you going to text him?

Jungkook knew that Yoongi didn’t like calls very much, but still he needed to hear his raspy voice to calm himself because even after the somehow relaxing exchange of messages, his heart was pounding heavily in his chest. Yoongi would answer, he didn’t even consider the other option, so he pressed the call button.

-It’s just that I’m not sure if I should call him or what am I even supposed to do. - He whined to the phone immediately after the call went through.

-Knowing you, you already know the answer and are only trying to waste time because you are too scared. -Came the husky yet pleasing voice of his friend. A little smile creeped on his mouth. - Just do it, Kook, he is only doing this because you asked, it’s logical you would have make the first move.

-I know, but…

-Plus, - He interrupted with a soft tone, as if he were talking to a kid and Jungkook cringed thinking that Yoongi probably thought of him as a child. - You are just acting as if you’re hiding the fact that you are gay and seeking some pleasure in Jimin, so why would you even bother to worry about small details such as who calls who first? That would certainly make Jimin suspect something’s going on.

He was right, according to what Taehyung had told him, the kind of men that approached Jimin weren’t the ones to worry about the romantic or sentimental aspects of a relationship, they were just looking for some pleasure or some kind of relief. Something that would make them feel better, without caring for Jimin. But still it was hard for him to let go of something that came so naturally to him. He was awkward, a bit shy and easily flustered whenever he met a person for the first time. When he was dating someone, he was able to put on an act of bravery, probably due to the excitement of liking somebody that sometimes make people valiant, but this was Jimin.

One of the first persons whom he was not afraid to show his true self, and yet, the first one to let him down so painfully. The first one who have really scarred him. Now, after so many years, he had to face that same person - who looked exactly the same yet felt oddly different from the one he got to admire - and pretend like it wasn’t a big deal. His body couldn’t shake the idea that he could be himself with Jimin, he needn’t have to pretend he was brave and not nervous, but in the situation he was in… that couldn’t be allowed. He had to be braver and bolder than ever. A huff on the other side of the line woke him from his deep thoughts.

-Jungkook, the longer you take to make the call, the more will Jimin question your choice. And himself; he has this amazing mind that immediately turns everything into something negative about himself, I still don’t understand him… Whatever, my point is, call him if you want things to work out.

Yoongi took a pause and hummed slightly and strangely, it made Jungkook’s frantic ideas suddenly stop, like responding to an involuntary command from the older guy. Jungkook was grateful for the momentary peace.

-I know you are having second thoughts. - He stated. - But if you think this needs to be done, do it before you have time to question your choices. That’s how you’ve always managed to get shit done, right?

A short snicker escaped from his lips and he could feel Yoongi’s grin even if he wasn’t seeing it.

-Just try not to get hurt in the process. Don’t overwork yourself to help somebody else… okay?

He sounded dubious, nervous even, but still Jungkook replied firmly: - Okay.

Such a thing couldn’t be promised, it was inevitable. Yoongi knew it couldn’t be avoided, but still he prayed that things would work out and both of his friends would get out of this one without suffering.

-Well. - Yoongi says after a short imperceptible sight. - Go call him now…

Good luck, he wanted to add, but what use will it have? They both knew that calling was only necessary to set up the place and time, no luck was needed for that. Still, he felt like luck would be much needed in the future.

Jimin had suggested meeting in the café where he had last been with his two other friends; Jungkook, still too afraid to encounter the scary dude whom he had punched, decided to change the location to the bakery that had witnessed their heated exchanged. As it was placed in a small, barely crowded street, it deemed the perfect place for a fake date.

Jungkook kept repeating in his head that it was a fake date in order to believe it, but his nerves weren’t easy to convince. He knew Jimin, he knew it was not serious, but his body didn’t understand that and it was extremely frustrating because he was sure that none of the guys Jimin was used to hooking up with would feel an ounce of the anxiety he was feeling, and he had to pretend to be like one of them.

The thought made his stomach churn; he did not want to be like any of those men, ever.

-Pretend is the key word, Jungkook. - He reminded himself when he stumbled upon the shop’s glass door. Knowing he was different from them will have to be enough for the moment.

Jimin was already inside and when the warmth from the room hit his face, he was glad that the other was not dealing with the cold weather that had suddenly struck the city.

He sat down in the available chair in front of Jimin and displayed a beam so big it was probably exaggerated, but by that point his nerves had taken over. Jimin replied with a similar smile, though clearly it was only a polite gesture, one made to please. He was still a long way from his goal, but this was only the first step.

-Have you ordered something already? - He inquired after a couple of seconds of only looking at each other. Jimin shaked his head slowly and raised his arm to draw the waiter’s attention to them.

-I was waiting until you arrived.

He ordered a caramel latte and a small banana cupcake, the appearance of which was mouthwatering; the younger’s mind was too distracted to check for what he was ordering, and ended up requesting for the first thing written in the menu. They then sat there in an awkward silence, waiting for their food to arrive.

Jimin did not drop his eyes from his companion’s face, but nothing could be discerned by his posture. He was probably judging Jungkook, though, why else would his stare not leave the younger? Jungkook’s eyes darted from one place to the other, desperately searching for something to talk about.

-How… is uni going? - He attempted. He was genuinely interested, but somehow after the words left his mouth, he found them rather inappropriate. Jimin snorted and the expression in his face was kind of smug, so Jungkook dropped his gaze so he wouldn't see it anymore.

-Fine, I guess. - Their coffees were placed in the table and with a sweet smile to the waiter, Jungkook inwardly thanked the interruption.

-Oh, that cupcake looks delicious, right? - He tried again, slowly turning his attention to his own order.

-Yeah. - Jimin confirmed, without much interest in the topic, at least until he took a glance to Jungkook’s steaming cup. - That seems… tasty.

A subtle teasing tone could be appreciated in his tone but Jungkook was too busy looking at his beverage. A huge white cup was staring mockingly at him from the table, as if scolding and laughing at him at the same time for ordering without paying attention.

-Why is it green? - He murmured, not particularly talking to Jimin, but actually wondering aloud. Jimin snickered in front of him, not bothering to pretend it wasn’t funny.

-You ordered the Irish Coffee of the week, I guess that besides the whisky it has food colouring?

Jungkook was not a big fan of adding alcohol to the coffee (why would somebody even come up with such an idea in the first place?) but he refrained from making a comment and tried it out. He instinctively wrinkled his nose, the smell strong even though there was a huge amount of green whipped cream floating on the liquid.

-Is this really drinkable? - He asked, trying to at least turn his surprise into a conversation. - Cuz I don’t know about you, but green cream is making my hair stand on end.

-Yeah, just drink it.

No further words were added and Jungkook sighed, bringing the mug to his lips. It tasted awful, but thankfully the cream was normal cream despite it’s colour, so the sweetness neutralized the bitter alcohol mixed with the coffee. He was so discouraged that it didn’t even occur to him to add some sugar to it. When he had managed to gulp about half of the amount, Jimin’s loud exhalation caught his attention. After minutes of silence, it was the first sound he had made. He pushed his latte towards Jungkook and before he was able to realize what he was doing, the ravenette had taken his own cup between his hands. He furrowed his brow in confusion while Jimin opened the sugar packet and dropped it’s contents inside the still hot coffee. He started sipping from it immediately after, cheeks puffed out after every little sip which was probably due to the strong taste, but Jungkook couldn’t help but find the action cute. Jimin’s eyes were slightly rounded when his face was expressionless which only served to make him look softer. Jungkook smiled behind his new cup, which was too, half drunk.

-You didn’t have to do that. - He mentioned, seemingly more relaxed. He was not able to perceived Jimin’s lip twitch, that could precede a grin had it not been stopped right away.

Instead of answering, he shrugged and kept drinking until there was no more weird beverage left. If he didn’t like it, he didn’t show. It was Jungkook’s time to huff, exasperated under the lack of response, but luckily Jimin seem to caught on his emotion.

-You are weird. - He announced. Jungkook’s confusion was only increased. - Sometimes you won’t shut up, and now you cannot even come up with a decent topic.

-It’s not like you’re making an effort to help me there. - He protested, offended that he was being blamed of the absense of conversation. Jimin hummed while his hand reached for the cupcake yet to be eaten.

-That’s not my job. - Was his only answer. Jungkook closed his eyes. He kept forgetting that.

Jungkook shut his mouth slowly, wishing to erase his previous words. Jimin’s face softened barely imperceptible, but Jungkook noticed. The older pushed the now empty mug to the center of the table in order to do something with his hands. He wasn’t nervous, still he wasn't completely unstressed.

-Are you nervous? - He asked, almost scared to do it, but it was Jungkook whom he was talking to. He knew - hoped - he did not have something to be afraid of. Jungkook didn’t lift his eyes.

-Happens to the best of us. - He muttered.

Jimin was convinced that the boy he had met once wasn’t there anymore, after all, the man in front of him was not only physically changed but his aura… An entirely different vibe surrounded him and it was so easy to perceive the changes, the improvements. Yet him… he was still the same old Jimin, unaltered. He fisted his hand and dug his nails into his palm, immediately using his hand to rest his head so he could hide the reaction.

-Why would you be nervous, though? Usually that’s my roll. - Jimin commented with a smile trying to appease his companion, but the effect was quite the opposite.

It was funny, why would he need to be nervous when Jimin was basically there for him? Jungkook was the one who made the rules, but Jimin guessed that maybe he didn’t understand how things worked with him. He still had to explain a lot, but usually the guys assumed things and Jimin resigned himself to follow. Jungkook, though, appeared to be different; he was… Taehyung’s friend, right? If that was the case. then the younger must be nice and soft and loveable, the kind of people Taehyung always kept close.

His nails dug in deeper. Fake, fake, fake. It was fake, Jungkook may be a good person, may be the nicest person, but he had something in common with all of them. He was scared of being himself and so he resorted to Jimin, like they all did. Fear made people do things they wouldn’t normally do and most of the times, Jimin was their haven, their experiment or whatever they wanted him to be. Jungkook was different because he wasn’t yet comfortable enough around Jimin; he would eventually loosen up and things would be normal again.

While he pondered, Jungkook kept his eyes on him to evaluate his expression. He couldn’t get much out of it, it was mostly blank. Why should Jimin have to be need to be nervous? What was he unconsciously scared of? Jungkook was scared of many things because there was just so much at risk for him, but Jimin? He shouldn’t have to be nervous.

Suddenly, it dawned on him that he might have experienced something that drove him to wait for the meetings with anxiety and the sole thought almost made him puke.

-Is there something else you would like to order? - The same waiter from before approached them and interrupted a staring contest.

They both came down to earth after so many minutes lost in thought. They had been intently staring at one another, too focused to noticed that the other was doing the same. They paid without buying anything else, Jungkook’s head was somehow in a daze and one green irish coffee had been enough of a mistake for the day.

They were basically - yet kindly - kicked out of the bakery that was about to close for the day and it was then when they found out that the sun had already set; it was dark outside, the street lamps turned on and the sky dark blue. They had inadvertently let time slip away, wasting the minutes - hours - thinking and staring at each other. It was for the better, in Jimin’s opinion. Jungkook cleared his throat and caught his attention. Covered by the light shone on him by the lamp under which they were standing, Jungkook was gorgeous, almost mystical, which left Jimin awestruck for a second. He recovered soon enough thanks to the boy, - man, Jungkook was a man now, - who dared to grab his hand.

He seemed to have done it unconsciously because he flinch no sooner had their skin made contact, but he didn’t let go. Instead, his warm hand - how could his hands be warm if it was so freakingly cold outside? - surrounded Jimin’s until he was able to separate his fingers from his palm. He hadn’t noticed but his skin was tore because he wouldn't stop digging his nails into it. Jungkook did and so he draped his warm hand over Jimin’s cold one, refraining him from hurting himself anymore. For the millionth time that day, Jimin was left dazedly contemplating the other’s actions. He tried, but he couldn’t redirect his eyes to Jungkook’s face.

- When should I call you? - He was inquired. Jimin blinked.

-You can call me whenever you want, that’s up to you. - He explained, though he forced himself to smear his tone with sarcasm so he would appear unaffected. - I will tell you if I’m free.

Jungkook hummed and silently rubbed his thumb over Jimin’s skin, most definitely still a little lost in his own mind. That’s what Jimin repeated in his head until Jungkook gently slipped his hand away and started to turn around to leave, displaying a faint yet sweet smile instead of saying goodbye.

-Where are you going? - Jimin stretched his arm to firmly hold the younger so he wouldn’t escape. He could’ve aimed for his wrist, but Jungkook’s palm was warm and smooth and so their hand met again. - Isn’t there something else you want from me?

Jungkook’s gaze darkened slightly; Jimin forced himself to not get intimidated. That was the same expression they all displayed before requesting something, though Jungkook surprised him: - It’s our first date, let’s leave it at that.

He attempted to tug his hand away, but Jimin pulled harder and brought him into his arms, both of which carefully surrounded Jungkook as to not frighten him with the sudden action. Grabbing him by the neck, he narrowed the distance between them. He had not carried the vanilla lip balm in his pocket all day only for Jungkook not to kiss him. The street was empty, he had had to learn to check because these guys trusted him, he needed to protect them and the consequences of a mistake sometimes were… he didn’t want to experience it again.

He focused on his lips. He knew they were soft and it was already an established fact that Jungkook went nuts over the vainilla taste, so it wasn’t unexpected when he kissed back. It wasn’t rough though and that threw Jimin off balance for a moment, until he was able to figure out what Jungkook wanted. His arms had slipped around his waist and were holding him tightly, however, his mouth was moving slowly, almost sweetly so Jimin guessed he probably wanted to take things easy, he wasn’t the first one. Some guys had romantic aspirations for their encounters and Jimin did his best to comply, even if he was more used to the ones who only wanted their pleasure satisfied. They were easier to deal with, somehow.

His tongue tenderly rubbed against Jungkook’s lip, but he retreated it immediately after, giving him space to choose what to do. His own bottom lip was caught between Jungkook’s for a second. He was sure the other wanted to bite it and was refraining from doing so for an unknown reason, but Jimin didn’t doubt the power that his plump lips had. He emitted a content hum when he felt Jungkook’s tongue hovered over his mouth, encouraging him to continue, but it was over sooner than expected.

He had to hide his pout, Jungkook was a good kisser and he had no problem admitting it. He looked troubled, so Jimin sighed.

-You can demand whatever you want, I will gladly comply. Don’t hesitate to ask.

Jungkook looked at him intently for a moment. Demand? He thought, but said nothing about it. The only reason why he hasn't opposed was because he was sure Jimin would suspect something was off if he did. After all, his “services” included pleasing everybody, right? Why would somebody require them if they didn’t seek pleasure?

-It didn’t seem appropriate. - He couldn’t help but clarify, because it truly didn’t.

-Whatever you want from me is appropriate. - Was what he received as a reply. Eyes confident, not a single ounce of doubt in his words. Jimin’s phone buzzed and the conversation was over. - Oh, it’s already this late. I need to go. Call me.

Just like that, he readjusted his jacket and left Jungkook alone. Another date? Probably. He ignored how busy Jimin actually was, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He sighed heavily and turned around, making his way back home.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #jimin x jungkook #jungkook x jimin #park jimin #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #Jung HoSeok #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #BTS au #Kookmin #jikook #BTS jungkook #BTS jimin #jeon jungkook

19 notes · View notes

singingpuddle · 6 years

Text

My commentary whilst watching Buzzfeedblue’s “The Captive Spirits Of Eastern State Penitentiary”

You would think I would have finished the Commentary on part 2 of “3 Horrifying Cases”. But no, so... here we are.

Warning:

1. I ship them, if you don’t that’s cool with me.

2. This post is super long

3. I long for the day I no longer have to cross out the boy in boyfriend when it comes to these two. this will be abundantly clear by the amount of times i do

4. After a little bit i will stop putting full names, so just know.

5.I recommend watching the video along with or before going through this post, because if you haven’t seen it you will be lost.

R=Ryan and S=Shane

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Me: I see you and your matching outfits.

R: We are not wearing matching outfits.

Me: From where im standing it seems like you are.

R: Well, we arent.

Me: We shall see...

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R: See, not matching.

Me: Okay, yeah. Shane... did you get a haircut just for this?

S: Maybe...

Me: and is that shirt... freshly ironed?

S: Maybe...

Me: Is this a... date?

S: May-

R: No.

Me: But I remember you saying you always wanted to go there.

R: Yeah and?

Me: I dont know man... Sounds like a date to me.

R: Its not.

Me & S: sure...

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(+1 for cinematography)

(+one for matching outfits)

R: THEY ARE NOT MATCHING OUTFITS.

S: You do realize she ids now doing it for the sole purpose of annoying you. Also our jackets do kinda match.

R: *Long suffering sigh*

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(+1 for cinematography)

(+1 for matching outfits)

R: I give up.

Me: Good, because im probab;ly going to be commenting on the matching Heterosexual Beige™ jackets alot.

R: Wait... if there Heterosexual Beige™ then how is it gay?

Me: I never said it was gay...

S: But it is gay... because theyre matching

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Me: Oh shit... Ass-Bat™ gon come for ya asses

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Me: Domesticity™

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Me: Ok... sound like a solid plan. Where did they fuck up?

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Me: ああ、そですか。

Me: So when they said solitude, the ment “total and utter isolation form the outside world” not “go in this cell and think about what youve done”.

Me: So that’s how they fucked up.

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Me: look my dude, I look ugly as shit when im at the gym, so this sounds nice.

R: Wait... this place sounds nice to you.

Me: Oh hell no. this place is shady as shit. I was just saying i hate people seeing me work out.

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Me: ... Rye...

R: What?

Me: You steal Shane's food?

S: Of course he does hes an asshole.

Me: Oh?

S: He is also my Ghoulfriend™ thus he belives he has the right to.

Me: You gave him the title, not me man.

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Me: Damn, I guess you could say they where... in the dark about everything.

R: *laughing* Oh, shut up.

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Me: Dango Bro.. you better only be putting murderers in there.

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Me: A++ boyfriending there my bro.

S: What did I do?

Me: Its not about what you have done yet, its about what i think your going to do.

S: That’s not fair.

Me: We’ll see.

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Me: As I was saying Shane, A++ boyfriending there my dude.

S: Come on Ari, Its solitary, thus you must experience it alone. Plus You know i’ll go in right after.

Me: and leave him alone in the creepy penitentiary. S: Yeah?

Me: *coughs* A++

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Me: Okay... Nah. Fuck dat shit. Who let this happen?

Me: Probably not in those exact words, or in a shitty Australian accent, but yeah.

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Me: Look at Ryan’s Totally hetero™ geeking over his boyfriend’s accent.

R: I’m not geeking.

Me: *looking Ryan right in the eyes* sure...

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Me: Kinky? Okay... this isnt fun anymore. Imma take a break form this sadistically depressing shit and watch Animatics for some Jux de Postion.

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Me: “ Sincerely, Me” from Dear Evan Hanson is a fucking Bop. (link here)

R: This is entirely off topic its not even the same video.

Me: Look, I need a break, you need a break, we all need a break. Plus my girlfriend got me into this stuff so... blame her.

S: Just let her do this, If People want to skip it they can.

R: Fine.

Me: Domesticity™

R: sHut uP

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Me: Okie dokie. Im back.

R: Then lets get this show on the road.

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Me: Idk what you say this is Jigsaw’s Orgin story.

R: But you’ve never even seen it.

Me: Fight me Bergara, I dare you.

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Me: Look at Shane’s Totally hetero™ geeking over his boyfriend’s Jigsaw impression.

S: Im not even gonna lie, It was kinda hot cool.

Me: You know hot and cool are antonyms right?

S: I didnt say hot.

Me: sure...

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Me: What did I say Shane.

S: Ugh

Me: Welp, The Shookening™ begins.

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Me: Ryan, You’re doing that stupid thing that gets people in horror movies killed... Please Refrain.

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Me: Oh shit Rye Bread, You and Shanesquatch are really in the thick of it now

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Me: SHANE HEARD IT, WITH HIS OWN EARS. Boi... not that im not happy that your ghosty ventures are going well but... Leave before you die please.

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Me: Not to distract from the real topic here but, Shane.

S: Yeah.

Me: Might I say, you're looking mighty fine and kinda twinkish in this video.

S: Thanks.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: ... Did Shane just get possesed?

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Me: Dont make fun of our brave boyo.

S: I wouldn't if it wasn't so goddamn easy.

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Me: Shane.

S: Yes?

Me: There is a thin line between the “I wanna suck your dick” look and the “fuck you talkin bout” look.

S: Yeah?

Me: You are right on that line right now.

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Me: I think Ghostie is done with your shit. Like he sounds like hes been thought this 100 to many times.

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R: TAKE A FUCKING SIP BABES, Its a ghost.

S: Nah, idk man.

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S: Crank it up baby!

Me: *starts thinking of the song twist and shout*

*starts thinking of the fan fiction twist and shout*

*having mild war flashbacks because i refused to finish it but know how it ends anyway*

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Me: This Ghost is done with your shit, he stabbed a dude, let him be.

(+1 for shane looking like a twink)

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Me: *Laughing my ass off* He is done with you. Just fuckin leave.

R: *Shook*

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R: *Finds buttons in creepy haunted place* Imma just press these because nothing bad can happen if i do.

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R: At this moment ou-

R: At this Moment our Audio recoder picked up- Wait

Me & R: *High-fiving viciously*

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Me: Ryan Stop teasing your boyfriend.

R: I would if it wasn't so goddamn easy.

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Me: Unpopular opinion but Al Capone has an adorably squishy looking face.

S: *Lauging* Now im just imagingin you walking up to Infamous Mobster Al Capone and squishing his cheeks

R: And Baby talking.

Me & S & R: *Indistinct baby talking*

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Me: *Still baby talking* Whos a busy wittle mob boss? You are, Oh yes you are.

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Me: Not to shabby, its at least moderately survivable.

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(+1 for Shane calling Ryan Baby again)

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Me: Capone said no man, No means no.

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Me: Ya’ll seem to not get the fact these ghosts are just through with your shit. Also its Al Capone, you don’t wanna fuck with him.

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R: *Shook*

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Me: Boi.. He aint a fuckin child, he understands you. Now go away.

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Me: Yo Al is pissed bro, leave

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Me: Booooiiii, leave.

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Me: Correction Al, darling, They are Hetrosexual Beige™. But Brown and white is a close enough answer for a ghost so, you win I guess.

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Me: The Shaniacs are fucking QUAKING.

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Me: They are gay as shit right Al.

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Me: Boi, i hear that sentence one more time in this fucking episode i’m flipping my shit.

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Me: You okay Rye?

****************************************************************************************************

Me: The Glory Hole?

R: Nope just The Hole.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Shane, Its a eupamism. He wants your hole, or wants you in his hole... You get the idea.

****************************************************************************************************

S: Its a hole, what else can you do except hop right in.

Me: Boi, that’s gay.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Come on Ry, you know you don’t want Shane's head to smash.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Look at him Squat, Look at him gooooooooooo.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Ryan “Worried Boyfriend” Bergara

****************************************************************************************************

Me: He is trying to comfort you, don’t be an ass.

R: But its hard.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: Are you Possessed? Because the way you’re standing is making me uneasy.

****************************************************************************************************

Me: You have a Flashlight

****************************************************************************************************

Me: your eyes look interesting in night vision.

****************************************************************************************************

R: *Booping his way out this haunted ass shit*

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(+1 for cinematography)

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This long ass post brought to you by:

This

Link to video here

Link to Masterpost here

#buzzfeed #buzzfeedblue #buzzfeed unsolved #UNSOLVED MYSTERIES #ryan bergara #ryan x shane #shane madej #shyan

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shions-heart · 7 years

Note

Kuroken prompts: - Photographer trying to get photos of a masked Vigilante. - Kenma and Kuroo camp outside on a sidewalk while waiting for the release of a game. - They meet (for the first time) as adults at a fancy dinner party.

that second one stuck with me all this time so i decided to finally write it (so sorry for the long wait ;;;)

Kenma presses his back into the building behind him. He slouches against it, eyes on the screen of his PSP. The sun is starting to set behind the buildings around them, and beside him, Kuro squints through his glasses at the book in his hands. After a moment, he sighs and sets it down.

“Feh, it’s getting too dark to read,” he complains.

“Should’ve brought a flashlight,” Kenma says absently.

“Reading by flashlight puts too much strain on your eyes.” He pauses. “As does playing video games in the dark. And being on your phone in the dark. One of these days, you’re going to go blind.”

Kenma ignores this and continues pressing his thumbs rapidly against the buttons on his device. Kuro stretches his arms over his head. The sleeping bags underneath him rustle with the movement.

“When does the store open?” he asks, settling back down.

“Six.”

Kuro glances at his watch and grimaces. “It’s only 19:30 now.”

Kenma doesn’t reply. Every time they sit outside a game store to wait for the release of a game Kenma’s been looking forward to, Kuro complains. But he always comes anyway. He sits beside Kenma throughout the night, dozing mostly, but he stays. Kenma can endure a little complaining for his presence.

“I’m just glad we remembered to bring more blankets. Last time my ass fell asleep after two hours.” Kuro wiggles on the sleeping bags, making them rustle again. Knowing he’s just talking to talk, Kenma continues to ignore him, focused on the game in his hands. Beside him are some energy drinks and snacks. He’s ready for the long night.

A couple seats down some girls start whispering and giggling. At first Kenma pays them no mind, lost in the world of his game. But then he hears,

“You should totally ask him out. Just look at him!”

“The hair could use some work, but look at those legs!”

“Mm, and the glasses.”

“I didn’t know bad boys could be megane, too.”

They erupt into giggles again, and Kenma feels his blood run cold.

They’re talking about Kuro.

Kenma curls his fingers tighter around his PSP, gripping it until his fingers ache. The girls start goading each other again, each one telling the other to approach Kuro. Kenma’s chest seizes.

“Kuro,” he murmurs.

“Yeah?” Kuro looks up from his phone, which he’d apparently taken out despite his earlier concern.

“I’m hungry. Go get us something.”

Kuro smirks, pocketing his phone. “Is that how you get what you want?”

Kenma frowns. “Please.”

Kuro pats his head condescendingly. Kenma ducks away. With a laugh, Kuro unfolds himself to stand. “You want the usual?” he asks, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Kenma nods. He watches as Kuro walks away, his frown deepening as he hears the girls sighing. He glances over. Two of them are fairly cute, he supposes, though the third one is downright beautiful. With long dark hair and a beauty mark near her eye, she looks just like Kuro’s type. At least, she looks like one of those girls in those stupid dramas Kuro watches and raves about. She’s blushing, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, as she watches Kuro leave. The other two girls nudge her with knowing grins.

Kenma wants to hurl.

He realizes he has two options. He can ignore them and hope Kuro doesn’t notice their interest. Or he can go over and tell them …

Tell them what? That Kuro is taken? He’s not, and if they ask him about it Kenma doesn’t think Kuro will lie.

That he’s gay? That might work; Kenma suspects Kuro has a thing for guys too, though it’s never been confirmed.

No matter what he says, though, he’d be leaving his spot in line. He’s close to the front. It’s a really good spot.

The girls move on to a different topic, however, so Kenma relaxes. He turns back to his game, but he finds himself wondering why he’s so bothered in the first place. Kuro is his best friend, sure, but it’s not as though he has any claim on him other than that.

Girls should be able to flirt with Kuro.

So why does the thought make Kenma feel sick to his stomach?

He’s so caught up in wondering that he doesn’t realize Kuro’s returned until he hears the giggling again. He looks up in time to see Kuro suddenly cornered by the three girls. He gives them a faint grin, and they say something Kenma can’t make out with their backs to him. Kuro rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. He always does that when he’s embarrassed. What are they saying to him?

Turning off his PSP, Kenma shoves it into his hoodie pocket and stands. This shouldn’t take long. His place in line will be fine.

He makes his way over to the small group, appearing at Kuro’s elbow silent as a shadow. The girls don’t even notice him. They’re too busy smiling up at Kuro. Kenma stares at them, thinking as hard as he can,

Go away. Go away. Go away.

“We don’t really see many guys like you at places like this,” one of the girls is saying, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Guys like me?” Kuro asks with a quizzical half-smirk.

“So … sexy,” the second girl says, before giggling.

Kuro looks bewildered, but he takes it in stride, laughing. “Ah, thanks, I think?”

Kenma stares harder, wondering if he’ll actually have to say something. But the girl closest to him suddenly notices him. She jumps slightly in surprise.

“Oh! Who’s that?”

Kuro looks down, his eyes widening slightly. Kenma frowns. Had he really not noticed him there? He always notices …

“This is my best friend, Kenma,” Kuro says, draping his arm across Kenma’s shoulder. “Kenma, this is … ah, sorry. I didn’t catch your names.”

“Did you get the stuff?” Kenma asks, before any of the girls can speak.

“Oh, yeah here,” Kuro says, handing Kenma the bag in his other hand. “I had one already on the way back here.”

Kenma stares at the corner of Kuro’s mouth, where he can see a tiny glisten of apple pie sauce lingering. Before thinking better of it, he grabs the back of Kuro’s head, pulling him down as he rises on his toes to lick the spot.

Kuro freezes, the girls in front of them freeze, and Kenma lowers back down, his face burning. He licks his lips, though, and nods.

“Missed some,” he says, as casually as he can.

Kuro blinks down at him blankly.

“Um!” the long-haired girl squeaks. “We should head back to our spot …”

The other two agree and they scurry away. Kenma can’t help but feel some satisfaction, despite his embarrassment. He turns to head back to his own spot, when Kuro grabs his arm.

“What was that?” he chokes.

Kenma looks to the ground. “Nothing.”

“Kenma, you can’t just–”

“Did you like it?”

Kuro’s thrown off by the question, and his grip on Kenma’s arm loosens. “I … what?”

Kenma pulls his arm away and turns back to their place in line. “Never mind.”

He walks over to sit down, pulling his knees up to his chest in an attempt to look as small as possible. His heart is hammering in his chest, and as he looks at the bag in his hands, he can’t bring himself to eat. The knot in his stomach is too big.

It takes a moment for Kuro to sit beside him. Kenma keeps his eyes on the bag.

“I didn’t … not like it,” Kuro breaks the silence with a quiet voice.

Kenma bites his lip.

“But Kenma, it’s not … you can’t just do stuff like that. It might not mean anything to you, but to me …”

Kenma glances sidelong at him. What is he saying?

Kuro’s staring down at his legs, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. Kenma reaches over to cover his free hand with his. Kuro’s gaze slides over before lifting to look Kenma in the eyes.

“I did it cuz those girls were flirting with you,” Kenma admits, looking away after a moment, as his neck feels warm. “I didn’t like it.”

He can feel Kuro staring at him. He lifts his shoulders self-consciously, having no idea what to expect next.

“We should talk about this not on the ground in the middle of the night in front of a ton of people.”

Kenma nods. Yes, that would be preferable.

“But … for the record, I wasn’t flirting with those girls. At least, I wasn’t trying to. If it looked like I was, I’m sorry.”

Kenma frowns. “Why are you sorry?”

He glances over to catch Kuro grinning at him. “Because I like you too, obviously.”

Kenma snatches his hand away, slouching further down the building wall. “I never said I liked you.”

“You didn’t have to.” Kuro’s smirking now. How infuriating.

Kenma punches his arm quickly. Kuro yelps rubbing the spot.

“What was that for?!”

“For being too good looking.”

“I can’t help that!”

“You should make yourself look uglier.”

Kuro sputters. “Uglier? You just said I was good looking!”

Kenma wrinkles his nose. “No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did!”

“I didn’t.

“You did!”

“Didn’t.”

“Did.”

Kenma reaches into the bag to pull out the slice of apple pie. He bites into it, keeping his eyes on the bag as he chews with conviction. Kuro laughs beside him.

“You’re cute when you pout.”

Kenma crumples up the paper bag and throws it at his face. Despite the embarrassment, however, he can’t help but feel warm, the tension in his chest loosening.

He’s not going to lose Kuro.

He takes the next bite with a tiny smile.

#kuroken #kuroken fic #kuroo tetsurou #kozume kenma #kuroo x kenma #my writings #Anonymous #talk at me!#sydrabbles

98 notes · View notes

dreadhaus-literature · 5 years

Text

{A/N}

I~ truthfully don’t know why I came to write. I’ve just been kinda doing my own thing tonight, gave myself a manicure (would have done a pedicure too but it’s cold and I have sockies on) and otherwise was messing about in my closet. Having one of those rare restless moods where I don’t really want to do anything, but y’all know me. I can’t not do something.

So here I am. Doing something.

Uh, well first I suppose I oughta address I hyped up coming out of hiatus today and then, lmao, didn’t. I opened a document to write initially but I just wasn’t feeling FL was connected, so I went to talk to Monica about how things are going. No sense beating a dead horse, we all know what goes with FL and why stuff gets the way it does. So at this point, I’ve just set my pen down until I’m told to pick it up again. Not going to put the blog in hiatus, just don’t expect regular updates anymore, I guess? I’m finding I get discouraged trying to do this alone, so if I can’t do it with my partner, I won’t be doing it at all--and that’s coming from a place of support.

FL isn’t FL without Monica, nor should it be.

I’ll give it a few months and if things keep stagnating or I haven’t gotten a chance to write for FL anymore, I’ll take a look at other stuff to write. I don’t want to not write through 2019 like I did the past three years, I meant what I said at the start of the year.

My whole inspiration for what was going to be today’s prompt was Carol, actually--because I watched the red carpet premiere for Captain Marvel earlier tonight when it was live. Haha, I cried three fucking times. Three! First time was watching everyone SO hype for Carol, like the little girl in me could not handle seeing so many people so excited about someone I’ve loved since I was a kid. I’ve said it before, several times, but I never thought I’d get to see Carol on the big screen. Now, I get so excited I cry, lmao.

The second time I cried was when the youngest actress (who plays Carol as a little girl) was doing an interview and she said how important and special the movie was for her--again, the little girl in me could relate plus Mama Bear was all aflutter at seeing this little angel talk about how excited she was to see another female superhero get her own movie. I remember she said something, “Now every little girl in the world knows she’s special!”

Sweet Christ I’m about to get teary again remembering that. THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT MOVIE. 😤

...And I cried when Brie came out, lmao. I was not ready. She wore a dress full of sunbursts/stars, for Carol’s insignia. 💖💖💖

I could not handle that, like one of Brie’s first lines during her red carpet interview was that Carol changed her life, and my heart about shattered. You can tell Brie is proud to play Carol, and she worked her ass off to be able to do so--and I have so much respect for actors who commit to these roles like that. These characters mean the world to me and I love when the actor who plays them takes that seriously. You can tell, listening to Brie, she does. It was genuine, and I have renewed respect for her and I sincerely hope she knows how much support she has for this movie, despite all the fuckhead trolls out there.

So yeah, I cried for like, an hour? Haha, no, that’s an exaggeration and even if it wasn’t, it was all happy tears. I’m just so excited about this movie and to be somewhere I never thought I’d be. It isn’t to diminish, like, Tony or Peter or Logan but I always knew there’d be Iron Man or Spider-Man or X-Men movies--but there are others, like Thor or T’Challa or Carol, who I never anticipated seeing on the big screen and it’s so huge to be here.

I’m so grateful that we are here.

I’ve kinda just been all over the comicverse today, actually, looking at stuff--well, haha, in the two biggest backyards, rather. I only really stray outside of Marvel and DC to visit Anung & Co, but y’all know me. I’ve got my faves and I stick to my familiars--which up until very recently just included Marvel, lmao. But DC’s in there now, obviously, so I do wander about there from time to time. I feel like I visit a new school or some shit every time I do this, because I recognize some folks now but I run into others and I’m just like, yeah, i have no fucking idea who you are, haha. My DC coloring book came and it was vastly different from flipping through my Marvel book; I could name every single person for my Marvel book but I think I can count on my fingers and toes the DC folks I know. BUT I AM TRYING. Haha, I am learning, and it’s fun for a lot of reasons. Say this all the time but I am grateful to Monica for getting me to stop staring down my nose at the lot of them. I was missing out.

But I uh, well I’m noticing that a lot of what I like...not a lot of other DC fans do, lmao. And I’m not going to be tooting my own horn over here--or Avery’s rather, because I gave that back to her--but I just mean, I was taken aback by how, uh, upset some DC fangirls are about things that I liked or enjoyed? And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, it happens on the Marvel side too. People are opinionated and I usually fall to the counter-culture side of arguments. I guess because I’m a wide-eyed newbie to the DCverse, I wasn’t thinking about it. Okay, like, for example--

My first unpopular opinion is that Arthur Curry looks better in the comics than the DCEU.

“Whaaaaaat?! BUT DOT, ARE YOU SAYING JASON MOMOA ISN’T HOT?!”

I’m not here to say Jason isn’t attractive or that he doesn’t do Arthur justice--but I’mma stand here and on the same hand say Tony Stark looks better in the comics than in the MCU. One, because I’m a huge gigantic lesbian, and two, because I always think the comics look better. Like, you will never hear me say otherwise, in terms of looks. Real life cannot compete with fantasy; characters can be drawn perfectly and try as we might to emulate that in real life, we never can.

It has nothing to do with the actors, nothing to do with Jason or RDJ, it’s all about the comic character they play--which a lot of fangirls seem to forget when it comes to these live-action portrayals, might I add.

And so uh, when I wanna look at Arthur, like everyone else in the comics, I’d rather see his comic iteration. And ain’t nobody here for comic Aquaman for some reason. I never see him around and it sucks. I guess I shouldn’t judge but I do a little. Like, y’all been sleepin’ on Arthur or mocking him for fucking years and even I knew that, from my DC-hating lawn chair. But now that Jason plays him, now he’s acceptable? Now he’s okay?

Arthur is literally in the same boat as Loki, like if you don’t love them at their comicverse then you don’t get to love them in the movies. Ya don’t love Arthur, you love Jason. And I just don’t get that. Jason’s a beefcake and y’all know I’m here for some bulk but if we’re comparing looks comic Arthur is who I’m diving into the briny deep for every single day of the year.

^ LIKE THIS GIF IS SAVED IN MY PHONE LIBRARY, I LOVE IT SO MUCH how do you not find this sexy, like I am a gay woman and he could part me like the Red Sea.

Anyway.

My 2nd apparent unpopular opinion is that Edward Nygma, Mr. Riddler, looks super scrumptious in the Batman, War of Jokes and Riddles arc. I went to look at him for...reasons, earlier tonight, and I was expecting others to agree with me and was pretty stunned that everyone in the tag was making fun of him. I felt like Peter, like I went, “Riddle me this, how hot is Edward in this arc, guys, amirite?” And I held up my hand for a high five and got left hanging by the entire rest of the fandom--Monica not included because she’s above the fandom on her lofty angel cloud.

And I don’t give a shit, y’all know I hate popular things and I’m not complaining about this, I’m talking about it because I’m still not over my surprise. I’m aware I don’t like conventionally attractive types, I have this thing with unique bone structure or just unique appearances to begin with but I didn’t think Edward fell into that. I just thought he was handsome, like...at the risk of embarrassing myself but I found myself staring at him a lot during the arc when Monica was reading it to me because it was the kind of attractive that kept catching my eye. And so to hear so many people saying how ugly he looked or how they hated that iteration of him and I was like...lmao, am I missing something?? There’s every chance I am, I am very new to this party.

But I’m not new to the general premise of finding someone attractive so to look me in my retinas and tell me this--

This is not an entire look? Y’all seriously gonna hit the pass button on this particular Nygma?

This--

This is ugly, to you?

??????????

I’M NOT JUST USING QUESTION MARKS BECAUSE IT’S EDWARD I’M BEING SERIOUS, I am seriously confused by this. I see people posting photo sets of him in this arc and I wanna reblog them but they’re being shitty/sarcastic/mean about his appearance and i can’t delete OP’s unnecessary commentary.

I just can’t believe people think he looks ugly here. 😗 I can’t believe this particular opinion is an unpopular one...but whatever it’s my opinion and I’ll just sit on this island with my giant cardboard cutout of him. I don’t need y’all.

Man, and I thoroughly enjoyed that arc and so many people hated it, lmao. It may be because I’m new--actually, no. I’m not giving the fandom the benefit of the doubt for that one. Monica and I read that arc and while I didn’t have a ton of Batman history to base it on, it was solid writing and it was enjoyable to read. I think it comes down to that everyone is so quick to shit all over anything, anymore. Everyone is so fucking miserable, lmao, like it’s so chic to hate everything that’s put in front of you. It reminds me of trying to serve a toddler lunch. I can still remember trying to appease my little sister’s picky ass tummy when she was a baby, even things I knew for a fact she oughta like or that she did like, she’d smack off her high chair and cry about wanting something else--so she could repeat it when I set something new down. It’s the same fucking thing. As someone who is pretty happy with pretty much anything, it makes me anxious, like I worry everyone hating everything is gonna make content creators stop doing things. Why should they keep on, all you wanna do is bitch about anything they do? I wouldn’t write if I got that many complaints about my perfectly good stories. It’s...aggravating, why people can’t just be happy.

Which~ brings me to my third unpopular opinion, that I know Monica shares with me--BatCat sucks. Like, it’s a crappy pairing. It’s in the same boat as Peter & MJ, or Matt & Karen, or Tony & Pepper--I am not writing their dumbass ship name. I only wrote BatCat because the ship name is cute and that’s 90% because it has cat in it and I love kitties.

Anyway.

I see...so much support for this pairing and I’m like...y’all know she left him at the altar, right? Broke his heart? I really don’t care why she did it, there’s not going to be a single reason she could give that would make it okay in my book. I don’t know Selina all that well and I don’t actually dislike her like I do MJ or Karen or Pepper but I do dislike that I’ve been told she does this to him all the time. Everyone knows I have trust issues and someone flaking or betraying me constantly would drive me...haha, batty.

It’s 8AM leave me alone.

In all seriousness, it really makes me question the sort of girlfriend some girls think they are. I’m a feminist through and fucking through but that doesn’t mean I have to support shit-ass behavior and I don’t tolerate foolishness. As I said above, she could show up in a few issues and say there was some reason why she did it, some noble reason to do with Bane (seriously what the hell is he doing, I know he’s up to some shit) but you let your man know. You let your partner know, you don’t leave them hurting. There’s no fucking excuse for that. I’m a sensitive bitch and I’m 100% fine to admit that and admit that is where I’m coming from but I get so tired of women being selfish in comics, like why do you think it’s acceptable to act like this? I don’t know the nuances of Bruce and Selina’s relationship very well but like I said, I know she betrays him or leaves him a lot and that flaky shit gonna turn me off just as fast as when I saw Joker uncaring about Harley’s love. There are some things I just can’t truck with and that’s one of them.

I shouldn’t be surprised there’s so much love for this pairing, so many people are pushing for them to be married and I shouldn’t be shocked--Tony/Pepper and Peter/MJ is super fucking popular but that doesn’t...make them good pairings. You don’t treat your partner the way these women do. You just...don’t. I used to hate Bruce, h-a-t-e him, but it’s polar opposite at this point. He about did me in, initiating all those “I love yous,” and she broke his heart and I just...fwah. The fastest way to make me love you is to give me a reason to take care of you, I have learned.

Shit like these unsupportive relationships for people who give and give until they literally bleed flares my Mama Bear up bad.

I went from hating Bruce to this--

AND THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT, WHAT’S DONE IS DONE. Bruce can protect Gotham, that’s fine, but I guess my black ass finna be there when he gets home to protect him.

THIS IS WHERE WE ARE NOW.

My poor future children are fin’ta be smothered.

So yeah, I kinda went off on a tangent there and I initially...didn’t mean to, lmao. I’m sure there’s other shit I’m missing in terms of my opinions on DC, and I could go on for sixteen years about my Marvel shit, but I’ve...rambled on long enough.

Good night, my loves~♥

#{A/N} : commentary

0 notes

mina-van1104 · 5 years

Text

🎉Happy New Year!! 2019!! 🎉

Wish I could post something happier.

•So I just want to start out my family has been living in the same house for 29 years. We’ve never had any problems with any of our neighbors until last year... •

•

Last year, I simply reported one of the neighbors (who are caucasians) who lives ACROSS from us like 3 doors down to our left of our house (1 storey house grey colored house) because one of their kids trespassed our property harassing us on our property being very discriminating to us & being very disturbing on our property caught on one of our cameras and vandalized our stuff in the past. I simply told the police to tell them to stop trespassing- not a big deal. •

•

Their family who are very racist got offended & starting retaliating & harassing us every single day during the holiday break for 2 weeks last year in 2017. Had to call police several times last year because this family is not a “normal” family. Apparently their kid told that family something untrue and bizarre about us in order for them to hate us that much. The family in the 1 storey grey house is very racist. They have a lot of family with teenagers & little kids as well. •

•

We didn’t do anything wrong. And that was 1 year ago. I noticed around December 21st a few weeks ago that they started harassing us again every single day with their family & friends from out of town. They totally made up things about us. They are being very disturbing behind my backyard there is a main street. They drive by yelling threatening things every single day directed at us & even in my front yard.

•

• Anyways these neighbors really need to get a life. They’ve been disturbing us driving by yelling threatening things on the main street behind my back yard & driving by in front of my yard. Yes I know they are racist & obviously jealous but my intention is NOT to make people jealous. I decorated our house for my family to look at & for us to enjoy. It’s for our happiness. Our house is not a show and it’s NOT for other people to look at. If you don’t like us; simply don’t look at us- don’t look at our house. •

•

•Last year I did hire a private investigator- he said he did hear some voices outside my front yard & backyard but didn’t know exactly where the device was coming from. He did a sweep. It was highly suspected someone probably threw over one of those spying devices that have microphone speaker in them to harass us in some way.

•He told me the device could be as small as a button. The private investigator taught me a lot of things that I didn’t know were possible. These neighbors are very tech-savvy people.Changed my wifi password frequently. They were able to hack into phone devices. My backyard is on the side of a main street so maybe someone else some other suspect threw over the device. •

•The private investigator also said it was weird that 2 satellite dishes were facing towards my window. We thought it was suspicious when they put it up a few years ago around 2012. He told me those might be spying devices called parabolas- listening devices... I didn’t even know these existed. 2012 was the year my older sister Catherine was locally famous on KOLO 8 News Now. •

•My sister has stopped by at our house before with her KOLO 8 car before in 2012, but she already moved out of our house, so I was thinking maybe one of the neighbors or SOMEBODY wanted some information about us...little did I know about that until 2017.•

•

• I knew something was suspicious about those satellite dishes because that neighbor that moved out had another satellite dish in front of their house. Why did they have 3 satellite dishes and 2 satellite dishes in a row facing our windows. The private investigator took those satellite dishes out from that next door neighbors’ house when they moved out 1 week before he took those dishes out.

•

Anyways, this current year we just had- 2018 still currently we still don’t know where the spying speaker devices is coming from...But it’s highly suspected we know who which neighbor threw it over on our yard. Maybe there might be other suspects that’s not related to the neighbors..

•That neighbor is being openly very disturbing to us & obviously very racist. Funny thing is that the particular caucasian family from that house one of their kids said that we were “racist.” No WE ARE NOT RACIST. They obviously are the ones who are. We simply didn’t want anyone trespassing our property & vandalizing our stuff-& they took it offensively. Their kids are just making stuff up including their family. Their kids made up something bizarre into letting their family thinking we’re the “bad” ones & them being racist made them extra angry at us. •

•

They’ve been driving by being very disturbing everyday yelling at us being very threatening. One thing they yelled out was “We’re not jealous of you, you guys are ugly!”- I never even said to them directly that they were jealous of us, but deep down, I know they really are jealous that’s why they keep harassing us. •

•

To be honest, & it’s a fact & not an opinion, my family is very beautiful. Insulting other people will not make you look any better. They also keep yelling that we’re “Psychotic!” “Pathetic!” “Misfits” But really they were telling everyone & making them think that we had a “mental problem” but realistically deep down we know THEY really have a “mental problem” not us. Also we are obviously not “pathetic” they are, not us.•

•

• They also yelled at the back of my back yard on the main street “ To go back to your country!” “You’re not even American- Go die!”For your information my older sister & I were BORN here in Nevada. I lived here all our lives. We’re American born. My family & I are all Americans here legally.

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They also yelled out loud that we were “fake, wannabes, not real, and that I didn’t graduate college, and was never a Nurse Assistant or a Phlebotomist, we were just acting, and yelling at us misfits”- No WE are seriously NOT FAKE, all my accomplishments are real & already all accomplished including all my older sister’s accomplishments- all accomplished. No we don’t need to act. We’re good singers but we don’t act about our accomplishments. We may seem fake or look fake to you neighbor, but my family & and my personalities & everything is REAL. To some of the neighbors, You guys wish we were fake, but we’re not. We just have one of the better looking houses and that neighbor is obviously jealous.

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That neighbor seriously needs to get a life. Their teenage kids I noticed are on Winter break and that’s when I noticed what they’ve been doing since December 21st every single day behind our house on the main street. You guys constantly harassing us WILL NOT solve your own problems. To that neighbor insulting us giving us death threats, will not solve your problems. Whether you believe in Karma or not Karma will come back to you & I don’t have to do anything. You guys are going to have A LOT of bad luck in your life & you guys are going to wonder why & THIS is why. •

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I HAVE A LIFE! I have a lot of new & old goals & plans for this year I don’t want to be dealing with this USELESS bullsh*t again because that neighbor (the whole family including their friends they’re spreading lies to about us to them.) obviously seriously they have NO LIFE.

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I’ve always loved kids and still do but I DO NOT like DELINQUINT/ trouble making kids like their kids. Those kids do not deserve to have winterbreak; only GOOD kids deserve winterbreak. •

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When my older sister & I were kids living in that neighborhood & hung out with our neighbor kids who were majority also white as well as hispanic, we would be normal crazy kids but we would never go on peoples’ properties or vandalize their stuff or yell insulting things to people. We were good kids. We are not racist. I love people of ALL races and I would NEVER judge you for being different or looking different.

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My family has been living in & OWNED (not rent) our house for almost 29 years & was first newly built almost 29 years ago before I was been born (& all paid off 2 decades ago). Been living at this same house since I was born- been saving up for myself for years to move & buy my own house that is brand new & newly built as well- different priorities in life- saving up a lot. My family will always live at this house/will never move & never sell; still & will always love this house- full of good memories-very heartwarming home where my grandma once lived in too.💙•

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• Also those neighbors in the 1 storey grey house has only lived there for a few years & their house is only a rental... we own the house. They yelled at us, that we were getting “Evicted!” And they told us to “Move!” Well little did they know my family lived in the same house for almost 30 years when it was first built. We OWN the house. So yeah... & you guys just moved in only a few years ago and you guys are just renting...so yeah, we’re not getting evicted plus we never did anything to anyone. They just starting hating on us due to discrimination and deep down their jealousy.

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One of their daughters yelled at me and called me “gay!” Well I’m straight- not gay but even if I really was gay- there is nothing wrong with that. To that neighbor, I’m sorry that you were raised to be such judgmental, racist, intolerant, pricks.

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•Their kids also yelling at me the other day that I had a “ Disabilty!” Well I do not have a disability- at least not a mental disability. And even if I did have a disability, you guys shouldn’t even be saying that to anyone. That is deeply really disrespectful! People shouldn’t look down on people who have a disabilty- eventhough I do not have a disability, people shouldn’t judge others due to a difference of how they are or how they look. •

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The delinquint kids seriously need to be arrested including their whole family. Some people should really not have kids- if you don’t know how to raise them right- don’t have kids otherwise the whole world would be filled with criminals & that’s exactly what they are or will become one day.

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Also I heard a rumor in the neighborhood saying I got arrested. No, I have NEVER been arrested before in my life. None of us have ever stolen anything & we would never steal ever. I have no criminal records. None of my family members have ANY criminal records. So you guys should just shove it up your face! Somebody did think I did something wrong around 2010 & some people thought I got arrested but I did not do anything wrong. I did NOT get arrested. When Police came to our house a few days ago, some guy on our street yelled “Go arrest them!” Excuse me, I’m the one reporting some people. We’re not the “bad” ones.

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Just so you all remember, someone notified me last year my Facebook did get catfished in 2017 someone using my photos pretending to me messaging everyone online, but that really was not me. This is my only Facebook. My emails still got hacked, if you get weird comments or messages from me & we don’t really talk, it’s not really from me. Changed all my passwords & wifi passwords.

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•Also we have 3 different houses that have hispanic people living in them. They’ve been saying insulting things to us even though they just moved in 1-2 years ago. One of their 5 year old hispanic boys went on my property and threw rocks at my sensor lights & shattered part of the lights last month. The 2 other kids who are caucasian involved live in the same one storey grey house whose family & friends are harassing us. •

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The 2 kids made the 5 year old hispanic boy throw rocks and tried to break my lights. All caught on my security camera. I know all of them are deeply jealous. We got cute, picket fencing around our house recently & some of the newer hispanic neighbors & the neighbor living in the 1-storey grey house started insulting us for no reason. Just to say again, my intention is not to make people jealous, it’s just to make me & my family happy. •

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My house is not a show; it’s for my family to see. You don’t like us- then move on- look away and shut your mouth! The fencing was mainly made to get the kids to stop coming on to our property and vandalizing our stuff... not for you guys to see or insult us with. If I have ever said anything that seemed offensive it’s because I was DEFENDING myself & my family. I am not racist. I love all people of all ethnicity & races. That’s why you kids in our neighborhood need to shut up & watch what you say when you’re in public. Because the things they say are very offensive. •

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I filed it to police last year about that neighbor last year but they kept rejecting my report... One of the police thought I was making this up. So a year has passed & here we are again...I thought they would stop this year.😡•

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The kids are on Winterbreak and the disturbance started on December 21st & still happening now. Highly suspected there are other people in this town who might be not be related to these neighbors in on this.•

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I Let the police know but didn’t see any police around our area... are you serious?! If you don’t take my reports seriously, this is what has been happening and the family/friends mostly the teens related to the 1 storey house to the grey house to our left side across from us. Those are the main neighbors harassing us & discriminating us. There might be some of the newer hispanic neighbors that moved in our neighborhood who’s harassing us as well because I recently reported them. •

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They keep yelling at us from the main street in my backyard that we’re going to get evicted out of the house. Like I said, little did they know my family literally lived here for almost 30 years. We OWN the house-all paid off many years ago. We never did anything wrong. Discrimination and the constant harassing needs to stop!

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That neighbor all their family/ friends harassing us from the grey house 1-storey house are very disturbing and obviously need to GET A LIFE. They totally made stuff up about us for them to hate us even more. My family will never move from our house & that’s obviously what they want. What they’re doing is a hate crime. They seriously need to be arrested!•

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If the police are not going to do anything. I really hope after the kids go back to school, the neighbor disturbing us hopefully will end.

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I have a life! Stop messing with us! I have a lot of plans & goals this year & wanted to have a peaceful holiday but that neighbor living in the grey house 1-storey house 3 doors to the left ACCROSS our house needs to stop. Any family or friends related to them in town or out of town- they're the main culprit if anything happens to us, since police aren’t really doing anything...the others we recently reported were the Neighbor who are hispanic & moved in 1-2 years ago & any family or friends of them are main culprit. This is seriously a hate crime & it’s very disturbing. I am not acting. This is serious.

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•Little did they know I have a lot of family & close friends in this town. Our family is mixed with white people and I have friends that are white and all different ethnicities. Those newer neighbors harassing us, they don’t know anything about us. •

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Any negative rumors you hear in town that might sound untrue about us is most likely untrue. Also note if you get inappropriate messages from me on Instagram or Facebook, or any other emails or social medias & we barely talk, it’s not really from me; please let me know. I only have 1 Facebook and 1 Instagram and 1 of each social medias. Anyone else who uses my pictures pretending to me to add you online it’s not really me. This is my only Facebook. I have heard weird rumors from my coworkers at work in the past so I hope you don’t believe the negative things they have made about me or my family.

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We used to have the sweetest neighbors including elderly people with many childhood neighbor friends and then 4 very sweet elderly neighbors who lived in different houses had passed away. The other neighbors moved.

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One of our favorite neighbors who’s white who was our next door neighbor who would give us presents for Christmas every year and we cooked each other delicious food had passed away in 2013. We’ve known them and were childhood neighbor friends with her grandchildren since my older sister and I were kids. (My older sister who’s a News Reporter and was our Famous Local Nevada News Reporter for years on TV). Both of us College graduates: me graduating from UNiversity of Nevada, Reno & my older sister graduated from Gonzaga Univeristy. •

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Again my intention is to not make people jealous, I like putting up my accomplishments up because it makes me & my family happy. It’s not a show. I’m proud of all our accomplishments. They make me happy. If you don’t want to look at that at my house. Then simply don’t come here & harass us or insult us.The discrimination & neighbor disturbing our house needs to stop- it’s a hate crime. I just want peace. So get a life. To those kids & the teenagers & their family in my neighborhood in that grey house -they are delinquent kids. •

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Those neighbors really need to teach their kids not to say certain things in public outside. You could talk crap about us inside your house not outside our house. Stop harassing us outside our back yard on the main street & in our front yard. I want peace. I’m not jealous of people who insult other people. I’m jealous of people who inspire me. We’re not losers like that racist neighbor yelled at us. Only real losers are the ones who insult others first. I’m just only defending myself if you ever hear anything that might seem offensive. Strong people don’t put others down they lift others up. That’s why those delinquent neighbors need to shut their mouth when they’re outside. That family keeps harassing us behind our house driving by. If anything bad happens. They’re the main culprit as well as their family/ friends from out of town.

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Hoping the neighbor harassing us will stop soon. Trying to enjoy my New Years & holidays. My family will never move out of that house: almost 30 years living there, still love the house but not a particular neighbor.

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I got many old & new plans for this new year that I was/ still so excited about. Trying to stay positive now because of the neighbor still harassing us by the main neighbor lives.

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Since police didn’t really do anything or if they’re not taking this seriously, just letting you guys know that this has been happening since December 21st still happening today. The MAIN neighbor harassing us (caucasians) lives on 2225 Rockdale Dr with their friends/family from out of town & other suspects as well. Other suspects newer neighbors (1-2years) : Hispanic- as well live on 2235, 2236,2245 Rockdale Dr. Other suspects from other areas highly suspected related or even not related to them. There’s literally like 5 or more different cars that have been disturbing us. They keep driving past Sparks BLVD behind my house directed at me at my street.•

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Also thank you to one of our awesome neighbors who live near our house who happen to be caucasian and lived in our neighborhood for a decade for giving us the cute holiday card & Sparkling Cider on New Years Eve. We don’t really know each other, but Thank you! ❤️ Also, I gave them back a cute card today with colorful flower bouquets. Hope for humanity. Trying to spread love & peace to the world this year & doing more good deeds.

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