#anyway so like. this is after the ‘this simple feeling’ and after theyve already made up

[voidimp]

i know i made a post like this before but i cant find it. how do you write image descriptions for art of ocs?

(as a quick note, if youre reading this in a reblog i recommend clicking back to the original post just in case ive edited it to add or clarify anything)

describing a character is like A Whole Thing. like there is a lot to describe about a person, before even getting into whatever theyre doing in the picture. am i just supposed to put the whole description on every piece i draw? i feel like that would get annoying after the first few times once someone is already a little familiar.

does the description of the character go at the beginning? i feel like that makes the most sense bc it seems odd to know what the person is doing before u know what they look like, but again if its a picture of a character someone has seen before its probably annoying to have to go through the same description theyve already read, & putting it at the end would probably make it easier to skip, but also idk how screen readers handle paragraph breaks anyway so maybe its not? (can you skip just single paragraphs at a time?) or is it better to have the character and image ids combined, describing the characters as you describe what theyre doing? i feel like that still comes back to it getting very repetitive though.

is it ok to label the parts with character ids as such instead of grouping them in with image ids so that its easier to know what to skip? like having one block that says "character id/end character id" & one that says "image id/end image id"?

is it ok to just put a simple description of the character and link to an optional more detailed description? how are links handled with screen readers? if i put a link like this, will the person know that it goes to crouton.net before clicking on it? how does it read it out, does it interrupt the flow to do it that way or is it better to just do a plain link?

and also just like... what kind of details about a character are important to include? like, again, it feels like it would be clunky & annoying to have to read all the same details every time so what is actually important about a person? like a lot of little details i give to my ocs are very deliberate, but how do i know which ones people actually need to know? im sure people looking at the image probably dont focus or pick up on every little thing either, but its hard as the person that put those details there to know which ones people dont actually need to know about.

please feel free to reblog this because i would really like to get some input on this!

#also as a side note does my lack of apostrophes fuck up how screen readers read things?? i feel like capitalization shouldnt #but apostrophes might. if thats the case i will start using them again

[kirksfattitties]

licherally why did they cut this scene from tmp

#spirk #video #tmp #sorry for the shitty quality of the video #anyway so like. this is after the ‘this simple feeling’ and after theyve already made up #so jim turns around and expects spock to immediately answer him like he always does and always did. but spock doesnt. so he gets worried... #...and walks over to spocks station and spock turns around and hes *crying* which is something that jims only seen when he was under the... #...influence of a disease or parmen or whatever that telepathic dudes name was #and jim turns to bones (who like. magically appears) and bones doesnt even make fun of him because this is serious #and jim IMMEDIATELY understands why spock is crying. he words ‘not for us’ in a way that spock doesnt have to answer if he doesnt want to. #and im pretty sure this is one of the only (if not the only) time that spock calls jim ‘captain’ because hes technically an admiral. #spock literally says that he was empty. and incomplete. and searching. when he first came aboard. and that didnt change after he melded... #...with v’ger. spock only changed after the ‘this simple feeling’ discussion with kirk. spock is LITERALLY saying that he’s whole now... #..that him and jim are back together. that jim was literally the answer he’s been searching for #‘logic and knowledge are not enough’ AND JIM GIVES A LITTLE SMILE. he *knows* that hes spocks answer and hes glad because spock is his... #...answer too. jim was a wreckless dangerous asshole before spock showed up and then when spock got there he was soft again. but then... #...spock was being an asshole so jim was angy again. but then ‘this simple feeling’ happened and everything is back to normal #and bones asks (without malice because he knows how much this means to jim and spock) if spock found what he needed -> referring to the... #...scene in sickbay. and he asks if vger needs fhe same thing spock did #and poor decker. he wasnt there for ‘this simple feeling’ so he doesnt understand that vger needs a partner. vger needs love. and hope... #...and emotion. vger needs something only a human can provide. (cough cough like jim to spock) #and in spocks lil mini speech right there hes like ‘a father. a brother............. a god.’ like that pause was meant for something else... #...like a lover maybe? but whatever. #‘why am i here? what am i meant to be?’ he explains what vger wants. but he doesnt explain his purpose. because both him and jim know his... #...purpose. spock is here for jim. hes meant to be by jims side. his purpose is to be with jim #and jim repeats the questions that spock asked in sickbay and nods. because he knows spocks purpose and he knows that his purpose is the... #...same. him and spock are destined to be together. destined to be commanding together. they work well together in every way and theyre... #...the best at what they do because they do it together. #and decker doesnt say anything else but i think he knows whats going on between kirk and spock (and im sure hes heard the rumors) and... #...i think this is the moment decker decides he needs to be with ilia.

[furiosity-wills-the-cat]

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!

#no mercy #as a warning tag #chara undertale #napstablook undertale #fic tag #meta #analysis #crack theroy #undertale #i didnt edit this very much #so if there are any major typos or parts that didnt make sense #or were illegible #feel free to let me know so i can clarify

[heyitsyn]

White Carnation

Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing

huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista

anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi

ong this finna be painful

so

its always been the three of you

with living across the oikawas came great perks

even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime

hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug

iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

yep thats really how it went

and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(

while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside

you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun

iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets

they liked you because you were like them

you were like one of the bois

but that kinda hurt you in the future

as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things

like you started to have crushes

specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime

thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister

but unfortunately, iwa did too

every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you

‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’

was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats

tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt

‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’

no, they werent old

they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented

but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute

your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him

your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you

‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’

god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead

why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?

‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’

oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you

‘she looks the same’

he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips

‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’

oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room

he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain

‘what the-’

‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’

he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side

‘OI KUSOKA-’

‘so whos winning?’

your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees

your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago

there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen

‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’

he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look

‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’

thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down

‘haji-kun, im fine’

you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off

now iwa was confused

you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over 

not frown and act so coldly

‘oi, y/n, what-’

‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’

oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise

he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions

‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’

omg oikawa is a real one 🥺

oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded

‘uh-eung! yea!’

that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing

except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him

ofc iwa was a loyal friend

he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything

tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!

it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other

maybe thats why,,,

he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between

maybe thats why,,,

he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him

maybe thats why,,,

he was no longer your friend 

iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall

it happened around the 2nd year of middle school

you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant

basically strangers

the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough

he was no longer him

before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa

like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru

you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns

you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped

because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was

he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl

even if that girl,,,

was you

thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen

your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this

you think he didnt know?

you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?

you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?

and oikawa was also worried

he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much

he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you

but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(

he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts

one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away 

no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand

‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’

god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence

you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way

anyways

you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen 

but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you

your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food

iwa wasnt surprised

he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house

it all makes sense

BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

‘h-how are you’

he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit

you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary

‘oh, now you see me?’

you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said

he winced

‘listen, im-’

‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows

you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing

‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’

you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie

‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’

i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time 

he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him

‘kay kay’

you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go

you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body

all while iwa was watching

maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost  a year

so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine

but yea he definitely forgot your smile

he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that

god he hated it

but no, he was doing this for tooru

he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him

but dear god why did it hurt

iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice

he could easily handle you two dating

right?

maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you

the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you

you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair

no that wasnt you

you were different

you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants

you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too

you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability

god you were so different

what if you liked him instead?

iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice

tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy

iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation

you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room

oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa

‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’

he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you

but you did and lordie did you hate it

from then on,,,

iwa was just seeing you everywhere

iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside 

he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes

those moments made him laugh

the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice

oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him

you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that

YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER

so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name

his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door

‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’

he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you

‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’

you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout

iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle

if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him

he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach

but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries

oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime

your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors

unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone

‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’

after that 

iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him

bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?

literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?

what kinda unfairness-

but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore

that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class

thats totally not creepy iwa lol

he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions

but the worst was when he got caught

you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back 

it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together

iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with

can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks

oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around

poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?

like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features

how was that possible?

‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’

he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes

‘hm?’

‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’

oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement

but makki chuckled and leaned in

‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′

okay iwa was angry

was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?

was it because you were part of this list?

was it because his own friend said you were pretty?

why did he even care anyways?!

oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more

‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’

the meme duo shared a confused look

‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’

oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two

so he did an oikawa move

‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’

okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch

iwa shook

you,,, had a what on who?!

a crush on him?!

is he the brute?!

so it wasnt oikawa?

it was to him?

then why did you act like that?

why did you both act like that?

‘what’

iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze

‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’

iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair

your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately

‘what the hell do you want’

you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back

‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’

his meek voice made you look up in confusion

‘what are you talking-’

‘you chose me instead him’

then it was like a click that you realized what he said

‘how did you know’

‘i-i’

he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat

the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks

OH GOD HE TOLD HIM

after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy 

‘how could you?! why did you tell-’

‘lets talk, y/n? please?’

iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away

oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,

‘get your girl’

the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now

no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side

‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’

you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes

‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’

he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff

‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’

‘hey y/n lets date’

you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped

‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’

you shrieked

‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’

iwa did the only thing he thought of

he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips

he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way

and it worked

bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy

you was the whole range of emotions in one second

‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’

iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again

tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl

‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’

you seethed when you pulled away

but iwa held your hands

‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’

and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him 

but iwa also

during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked

‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’

you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt

he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere

‘please accept me, y/n!’

he shouted while holding out the single white carnation

your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly

‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’

you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process

you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’

of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both

like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future

‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’

you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars

‘gojira’

he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest

‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’

iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them

‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’

you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport

‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’

you pouted

iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head

‘oi, y/n’

he started and you looked at him

‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’

you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile

‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’

iwa’s face contorted to disgust

‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’

‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’

your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING

like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up

you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands

like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast

‘ew, its the settling down for me’

‘its the flatness of the ass for me’

you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml

you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year

as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position

like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’

you smiled and blinked confusingly

‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’

he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows

‘baka, stop calling me that’

you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest

‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’

you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk

‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’

you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him

iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing

‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’

‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’

‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’

‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’

sure enough you were at the gym after school

the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job

ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants

the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-

‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’

you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well

the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building

‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’

‘shes so pretty’

‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’

yea you get the gist

the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him

‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’

you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately

‘why else do you think i offered it brat’

oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out

‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’

but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic

you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way

in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??

like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come

one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together

he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking

and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring

he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine

but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused

like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out

‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’

you blinked and shook your head

‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’

more important things?!

more important than showering you with love?

more important than even spending a second with him?

now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend

he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities

but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist

and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend

you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent

you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down

‘haji? whats wrong?’

his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry

‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’

you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside

‘hajime, what are you on about?’

you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended

‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’

his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up 

‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’

but he scoffed

‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’

youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa

okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that

and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river

except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million

and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose

when iwaizumi hajime was angry,  you really done it

you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you

‘h-hajime,,,’

you started and he looked at you expectantly

‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’

there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious

‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’

‘but what about me, y/n?’

he tiredly asked

‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’

despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate

so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you

‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’

you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there

‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’

you slightly let go and cupped his face

‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’

you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer

‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’

SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭

tbh that was really your only big fight

even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other

HOWEVER

when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision

you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh

which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision

in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao

tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved

BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS

you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field

that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier

and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club

so that meant,,,

no time for iwa

and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you

even weekends were like that

eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls

and that strained your former strong relationship

and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses

‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’

‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’

like that type of bull

you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone

your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream

‘hey? y/n? you okay?’

she gently asked and you blinked before nodding

‘mhm. just,,, thinking’

but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering

‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’

kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend

at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible

the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls

now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler

so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females

so that didnt really bother you 

but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered

just,,, blank

not even pushing away or feeding into their actions

just,,, standing there

‘haji?’

you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you

‘y/n’

he breathed out and you smiled gently

iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately

the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly

‘how-how are you?’

you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you

‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’

you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive

‘haji,, please understand’

you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him

iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks

‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’

he snipped and you sniffed

‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’

‘dont you think i know that?!’

he cut you off harshly

your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands

‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’

iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw

‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’

‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’

‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’

‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’

you shrieked

‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’

he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell

your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms

‘ha-hajime,, don-’

‘should we break up?’

was he asking you this right now? 

seriously?

‘what?’

you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes

‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’

he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events

‘t-tuesday?’

that seemed to snap his patience 

with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands

‘damn it, y/n’

he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries

then it clicked

anniversary

it was your 2nd anniversary

and you completely missed it

completely forgotten

you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries

‘ha-haji-’

you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up

‘y/n lets break up’

iwa requested with a cracked smile

your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear

‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’

‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’

your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it

it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it

‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’

‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’

you hiccuped and continued to sob

but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him

‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’

he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms

-------

iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you

even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over

like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other

the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school

it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air

it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying

you continued like that for years until you reached your third year

you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager

the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio

‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’

you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry

he looked up and recognized you as his former manager

‘l/n-senpai!’

he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug

‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’

you teased and ruffled his hair

‘uh-you know him, y/n?’

suga asked and you nodded

‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’

‘she was friends with iwa-’

ope

something flashed in your eyes 

kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years

‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’

she sang out and you perked up

‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’

you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape

kageyama shrugged and continued on training

he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you

and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there

‘its fine, y/n, i got you’

but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high

ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go

you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other

you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare

you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you

‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’

noya growled

‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’

ofc hinata echoed

the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away

‘oi! dont do that, boke!’

kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head

hinata whined and glared at him

‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’

‘boke-’

‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’

you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice

‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’

tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock

the famous seijoh ace dated you?!

this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!

‘yall didnt know that?’

kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him

‘how do you know’

‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’

he simply replied and continued filing his nails

you looked up and smiled

‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’

‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’

‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’

the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair

‘then go out there and make me proud’

but we know how this goes

they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata

‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’

you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly

once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home

you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it

a single white carnation

and a small ripped piece of paper that said,

‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime imagines #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi hajime angst #iwaizumi hajime fluff #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi fluff #haikyuu angst #iwa chan #iwaizumi hajime fanfic #haikyuu fanfic #iwaizumi fanfic #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! #haikyuu!! angst

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

[normal-thoughts-official]

Umm teenage malec au where Magnus is a chem-genius and Alec is a secret superhero in need of a Chem-genius...

i smell shenanigans???? mayhaps a secret identity drama??????? mutual pining???? do i hear the sounds of cliché drama 2nite?

really tho. call me cliché and uninspired but. Alec knows Magnus from uni. Magnus is still majoring in chemistry but hes clearly so talented and smart he already has made some incredible discoveries and is working and studying in like doctorate level classes. he's a genius, and he's creative, and he wants to use his knowledge to create good and accessible stuff. hes also beautiful and fine maybe Alec has a crush on him.

"sue me" - Alec, probably

but hes never really had,,,, the Opportunity to talk to him? theyve done a few group projects together and they got along fine but Magnus is always busy with his research and his thousands of groups and studies you know

anyway Alec is like.... an unwilling superhero because his sister is fucking crazy but also he loves her and ain't gonna let her deal with criminals™ alone so now he's her sidekick. his superhero persona is even grumpier than his usual persona and that is definitely saying something

anyway, they need magnus' help with some shit, i dont know, identifying some supervillain who leaves these weird substances behind? dude i dont know

so naturally Alec is like "well we could get magnus' help... you know.... hes smart...... and right there...... and hes nice hed probably help us" and izzy is like "yes Alec you should totally ask him out" and Alec is like "shut up"

so he goes to magnus as his superhero persona and asks him for help? and of course it isnt as simple as it looks so they need to come to magnus for help A Lot and him (as his superhero persona) and Magnus become pretty good friends and ah yes fuck this crush is starting to grow

magnus becomes kind of an honorary member of their little team after that and helps them with most cases. theres always something he can help them with. even when its not chemistry-related, hes smart and good at profiling and reading people. and he helps Alec relax. you know. and that makes it easier for everyone. right? yea

but look, look. he needs to keep his distance. its dangerous enough as it is and if magnus gets too involved that's gonna put him in danger. the last thing he wanted was to get another person he loved liked knew in danger. and if Magnus knew about their secret identities that would compromise izzy and he cant do that. not even their little brother Max knows!! so like, distance. totally

except he sucks, of course, and finds himself talking to Magnus for hours on end instead of actually doing his thing more often than not. and he totally falls in love. like completely. fuck

and on magnus' end........ well, hes hurt, because hes falling for this grumpy little weirdo whos so attached to rules and yet is willing to throw them out of the window to protect his little sister, who is genuinely interest in magnus' babble that only the other chem guys listen to (but are too busy trying to prove theyre better than him to actually have a nice, interesting conversation), who cares for his interest, cares for him. asks how hes doing and demands that he sleeps well and listens to his complaints. you know. he likes the both of them a lot, and for the first times he feels not only like he belongs, but like he's allowed to be. not to mention wanted and cared for.

but they dont trust him. which, look - its stupid. they dont owe him anything! and they are friends. they do tell him stuff that matters. he knows everything about their lifes but their names and the names of the people in their lives. and they have a lot at stake! and Magnus is an eccentric weirdo anyway. its good enough that theyre friends! really!

but hes pining, because theres this guy whom Magnus doesnt even know the appearance of, and who likes him, but doesnt trust him. he knows if it were up to the sister theyd have told him by now and it hurts that he doesnt trust him.

but it makes sense, too, again, Magnus shouldn't be demanding him that. but fuck hes fallen in love with him and he doesnt even trust magnus in return

it just hurts

and theres lots and lots of mutual pining and issues and Magnus not voicing his concerns because its fine!!! and he has no right to be upset!! and hes being stupid anyway and theyre right not to tell him

and he closes off in that way he does - by always being extra smooth and casual and using that as armor. and Alec is hurt, too, because he knows Magnus is closing off, but who the fuck is him to ask? Magnus just thinks their whole superhero thing is interesting. and he cant really demand anything out of Magnus when he cant be open with Magnus, either, and anyway he deserves better than this mess

anyway theres lots of drama for a while until eventually of course the dam breaks somehow. idk, i like to think Alec decided to tell him rather than him finding out on accident, but i dont know what exactly would lead him to do that. maybe he just gets tired of it and snaps. maybe he just shows up at Magnus' in civilian clothes like "hello it is me". maybe he just gets tired one night and it's like. hes already tired of lying and hiding and Magnus is already in too deep anyway, and hes thinking it over, he is, hes gonna tell him... and then something happens that would mean it would be slightly inconveniencing for him to turn around so as to not reveal his identity (like, idk, he needs to look at something but he cant see right with the mask lol) and hes like "fuck it [removes mask] my names Alec btw" and Magnus is like "woah ur the hot guy from that group project????"

anyway because im really slowburning today that doesn't mean they tell each other how they feel, of course. Magnus is still convinced Alec isnt into him (hes just told Magnus who he is! really, this is more than enough) and Alec is still an idiot. but it does have the upside of them getting to talk during the day and stuff! which is great, except awful because now they can Pine at any time of the day

anyway i dont even know how this gets solved tbh irhejdndkd its already too long, i dont wanna go the "Magnus is kidnapped and Alec realizes life is short" route because this is cliché enough but. uhh i dont know Magnus gets some prize on his research on uuuhhhhh clean energy? fuck if i know. and Alec attends and hes just so proud of him and so happy for him he kind of does the whole "i love you" thing and Magnus is like "you do??" and Alec is like "Magnus. Of course" and they kiss the end

#ask #pastaownsmylife #long post #malec #malec au #malec ficlet #someone should write this cuz it wont be me #malec prompt #a long one but eh #sh #magnus bane #alec lightwood

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Time Around Scars Part 2

Warnings: Angst, Tae being a bit of a dick, alcohol as a coping mechanism

Word Count: 1,785

It had been a week since Taehyung had seen you at the quad, drunk and pathetic, and he'd gone to spend a few days with his sister to get his mind off things.

He knew he wouldn't drink as much there, would have less time to stalk you on social media, panicked every time he got a notification from you, worried it would be a cute selfie of you and your new boyfriend.

So far, you hadn't indicated you were in a relationship, despite what you'd told him. The thought made his stomach roll, that you'd replaced him already, that you might be cuddled in another man's bed while Taehyung last awake, thinking about what went wrong and how he might fix it.

He half hoped that you'd been lying when you said you had moved on.

He arrived back on campus the night of his good friend Min Yoongi's graduation party, and he mentally reminded himself to drink no more than two beers. He'd been feeling better after spending some time away, his head clearer.

He wasn't sure if he was excited or anxious to see that you'd accepted Yoongi's invite on Facebook.

He'd dressed up, too, felt more like himself in a Gucci leather jacket with gold leaves appliqued on the shoulders, a black tshirt and jeans.

Taehyung walked into Yoongi's apartment with confidence and only a bit of anxiety. After all, if you did show up, maybe he'd be able to charm you a little.

He met Namjoon at the door, and his friend's eyes widened at the sight of him.

"Oh shit, Tae- I thought you were still with your noona?"

Taehyung smiled, shaking his head and looking around. Trying to appear casual, he asked Namjoon if you were there.

Namjoon hesitated for a moment, but Taehyung didn't think of being suspicious. He was too busy scanning the small crowd for you.

"Y-yeah. I think she's out on the balcony."

Taehyung barely noticed Namjoon biting his lip or his hand on his arm in a weak attempt to stop him.

He stopped by the keg for a beer to calm his nerves before he headed toward the back of the house.

His mood brightened further when he saw you through the sliding glass door, dressed in a simple, formfitting sundress and stilettos, facing the view with your elbows resting on the railing.

Red Solo cup in hand, he had his hand on the door about to slide it open when his greeting died in his throat.

You had turned to talk to Jimin, laughing at something he'd said, and a tall, dark haired man stepped behind you, sliding an arm around your waist casually.

You leaned backward to give him access to hug you, resting the back of your head on his shoulder, looking comfortable there, and Taehyung felt something pull in his chest, as if something were breaking inside him.

He felt as if he had been punched in the stomach, had the wind knocked out of him. His vision blurred with sudden tears, and from far away he heard someone calling his name.

He looked up and realized he'd crushed the cup of beer in his hand, foam all over his Gucci jacket.

Jungkook's was standing next to him, looking alarmed. "Tae, your jacket!"

Taehyung couldn't help but chuckle, blinking away the tears in his eyes. That would've been something he might have thrown a fit about a few months ago, spilling beer on an expensive jacket, but the blow to his wallet had nothing on how he felt watching you leaned up to kiss the tall man, looking as if it were as natural as breathing to do so.

There's a bitter taste in his mouth as Taehyung tears his eyes away.

A wild smile crosses his face. He claps Jungkook on the shoulder. "Need something stronger than this anyway, pal."

Jungkook had finally realized you were outside and not alone, and his eyes widened.

Taehyung shrugged. "I'm sure I can find someone to drink with me, Kook. Don't worry so much. I'm fine."

Jungkook looked at him warily. "Are you sure? Last week-"

"Last week I got too drunk and maudlin. Remember that time you drunk dialed your first girlfriend when we were at Spring Break?"

Jungkook flushed at the memory, and the distraction allowed him to make his way into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of whiskey with a splash of coke.

Yoongi raised an eyebrow at him, but Taehyung ignored him, raising his glass to toast Yoongi.

"Congrats, hyung!"

Yoongi obliged the toast but kept his eyebrow raised. "She's here, huh?'

Taehyung kept a fake smile plastered on his face. "Yup."

"New boyfriend, too?"

Taeyhyung's smile faded. "Yup," he said, drinking a long swig of his drink, wincing a little at the burn in his throat.

Yoongi clapped him on the shoulder and Taehyung looked down at his whiskey, tears threatening again. Yoongi had been there after the breakup.

Yoongi and Taehyung had roomed together freshman year, in a tiny apartment. Taehyung had answered an ad on Craigslist, and they'd become fast friends, both Music majors. Yoongi ironically had introduced you to Taehyung at a house party, so he'd been there for the beginning and end.

The night of the breakup, you'd left and Taehyung didn't stop you. When he'd gone to the sink for a glass of water, shellshocked, he'd seen your pink skull coffee mug, freshly cleaned and sitting by the sink, and something broke in him, finally. Crying, he'd broken every piece of china in the apartment, the crash of the plates and glasses the only thing that seemed comforting.

Taehyung didn't know how Yoongi had known, but he'd showed up, asked him what the hell he thought he was doing, and when Taehyung hung his head, ashamed of his display of emotion in front of the always stoic Yoongi, he'd heard the tinkling of glass on the floor.

Yoongi had thrown down a wine glass. Without words, he helped Taehyung destroy what was left of the kitchen, and later, to help to clean it up.

"Get drunk if you need to, but don't be mean to her, Taehyung. She is the one that called me that night, you know."

Taehyung looked up at him, shocked.

Yoongi nodded. "She does love you. She always has. She just needs some time."

"Time to fuck around, I guess," Taehyung mumbled, and instantly felt ashamed for saying it.

Yoongi shrugged. "Maybe he helps her heal," he said, and Taeyhyung's chest tightened further.

Before he could speak, heels click on the kitchen tile, and he hears your voice.

"Yoongi, the man of the hour! I wanted to introduce you to-"

Your voice faltered as Taehyung looked up at you, faking another smile.

"Hey, beautiful."

He was surprised at how clear his voice sounded. He took a sip of his drink, hoping it would help fill the void in his chest.

"Oh. Tae, hi-"

You were cut off again by the tall man coming up behind you.

"Jagi, I was wondering where you got off to," he said easily, chuckling, and Taehyung felt as if someone had speared him in the gut at the sound of his pet name for you coming out of someone else's mouth.

He took a long swig and held out his hand, hoping his face was neutral. "I'm Taehyung. You're the lucky guy who's been seeing our y/n, right?

He was trying not to grit his teeth.

For his part, your boyfriend didn't let on that he knew Taehyung was your ex, giving him a firm handshake and a smile.

When Taehyung smiled at you, your face relaxed and you seemed relieved, which made his chest ache.

Maybe you had moved on. Maybe you were happy. The thought made him feel empty and hopeless, and he drained his drink, praying that the alcohol would lessen the feeling.

"I'm Chanyeol," he said, smiling. "And yes, I am very lucky indeed."

Chanyeol slid an arm around your waist and Taehyung forced his eyes away, trying to take a deep breath despite the rock in his gut.

You put your hand on Taeyhyung's arm to get his attention, and when he looked at you, your eyes were achingly soft.

"How's the family?"

"Good. Everyone asked about you."

Now, Taehyung noticed a quizzical look on Chanyeol's face, and he cleared his throat, regretting his words. the last thing he needed was for your new boyfriend to feel sorry for him.

"Ah, that's right, you met his family when you were together, right?"

You flushed and nodded, and Taehyung was a bit shocked.

"I'm so glad you were able to remain friendly," Chanyeol said, seemingly unaffected.

Yoongi, speechless the whole time, thankfully interrupted to introduce himself, and Taehyung was able to sneak away, going by the keg to get a beer.

He took in deep breaths, trying to calm himself, and he met Jungkook out on the balcony.

The whiskey was finally working, relaxing him a bit.

"Hey, Kook." He said easily.

Jungkook nodded toward the kitchen. "You meet him?"

Taehyung nodded, drinking a long swig of his beer. He shrugged. "Seems nice."

"He's really tall," Jungkook commented. "I guess theyve been together a few months now."

Taeyhyung's head jerked at that comment. "Months?"

Realizing his mistake, Jungkook's eyes widened. "Like two months, hyung, I didn't mean-"

But it was too late. Taehyung drained his beer and chucked it off the balcony, heading back inside.

The chaos of seeing you with someone tonight and the alcohol in his blood made him impulsive, and his head was spinning.

He caught you alone for once, standing in the corner with a cup of beer, and you flinched whenever he slammed his hand on the wall behind you, leaning in close.

"Tae, hey..." You said, looking uncomfortable, but he couldn't stop.

"Months?" He hissed. "You've been seeing him for months? That's why you left, isn't it?"

You set your jaw, pushing his chest. He stumbled backward.

"If you could ever think that I cheated on you or left you for another man, you never loved me at all, Kim Taehyung."

Your eyes are flashing and Taehyung regrets everything, but it's too late. You stalk over to Chanyeol, grab his arm, and pull him towards the door.

You're gone before his head stops spinning, and everyone is looking at him.

His chest is heaving, something clawing inside of him, and he roars, "What the fuck are you all looking at?"

Jungkook and Namjoon are heading over, but Taehyung manages to grab the bottle of expensive whiskey and head out the door.

The rest of the night is a blur.

#bts #bangtan boys #bangtan #bts angst #kim taehyung x you #kim namjoon #min yoongi #part two #exboyfriend!taehyung #goodbro!namjoon #goodbro!yoongi #newboyfriend!chanyeol #park chanyeol #exo #college au #bts fake texts #social media au #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts v #bts jungkook #bts suga #bts rm #exo chanyeol #kim taehyung #kim taehyung angst #The Time Around Scars #part 2 #alcohol tw

[eyeless-cunt]

OkAy sO (this is ab the Toby Rogers thingy someone asked me ab)

I re read the story,, and i have my thoughts and theories

Toby obviously had slender sickness, or at least a light case of it.

He blacked out, he was extremely dizzy, and he lost bits and pieces of his memory all the time. He got extremely irritable too (although that may not have been slender sickness i mean, if i was him i would have been pretty fuckin irritable too)

Those are sOme symptoms of slender sickness ^

Also,, he was getting stalked by slender and experienced paranoia, bUT it was from his dead sister showing up in his dreams and not from slender stalking him. He felt no paranoia about the weird man who was “two feet shorter” than the streetlight outside, and after he witnessed him, its like he never thought of him again eXcEpt for when he had that had dream about his dead sister and an army of weird ass dead kids cornering him in his hall.

He only mentioned him once again when checking to see if there was ANythiNg outside his window, and he was not specifically looking for slender.

I honestly don’t think slender had that much control over him. I dont think that the nightmare was planted by him either, i think that it was Tobys mind acting up after a hard hitting loss of someone he loved. It’s extremely natural to have disturbing nightmares of someone you loved after theyve died, and it’s especially normal for Toby bc of how much trauma this boy has experienced.

This 17 year old boy is also getting physically and emotionally abused by his father, and his mother (while he does love her, just not as much as his sister) is practically enabling it. She has plenty of opportunities to kick the father out, or take her kids and leave him. (Which seems like the better option seeing as it mentioned that she got physically abused by her husband) It mentions her sister that she goes to live with after all the incidents and the fire, so its not like she has nowhere to go.

And its not like the father doesnt let them leave or anything either. He’s not controlling in that aspect at all. Toby and his sister had been in a car going wherever and having a fine and dandy time w/o their father. Hell, Connie (Tobys mom) and Toby are in a DAMN CAR at the beginning of the story!! They could have not came back after the hospital visit. It had said that the abuse had started before all this shit happened, before the car accident. Which means the mother willingy drove back home to an abuser, her husband, endangering her already damaged son.

Again, Tobys got some traumatic moments in his back pocket

So I personally don’t believe the voices in his head were slender. I think slender may have planted the seeds, by appearing at the worst and lowest point of his life, but the voices were just Tobys lack of mental wellness.

HOWEVER,,

Before the voices popped in his head, he had no intention of killing anyone, including his asshole father that he clearly hated. When the voices told him to kill his father he denyed the voices, saying that he could never kill anyone, ever.

Until the voices took control of him, and he killed his dad anyways.

I think that the voices were definitely made worse by slender, but are genuinely and originally just planted by his own mind as maybe somthing as simple as a coping mechanism, as odd and destructive as it may be. Or it could be something more, maybe another mental illness??

Unless its canon by the creator that those voices were slender i wont believe it bc the facts are there and ive presented them.

These voices are the pusher, theyre the ones behind his killer actions. He was already fucked up in the beginning, but these voices gave him the push to end up killing his father. Once he ended up killing his father it was like a switch flipped and allowed the slender sickness to perhaps spread ? Or maybe slender doesnt have any control at all ? Maybe the voices are the ones with the real control.

W/o the voices he wouldn’t have killed in the first place and in his lucid moments I definitely think that he feels remorse for his killings, or maybe its been so long that he doesnt even need the voices anymore, he’s desensitized to the killings and kills as he pleases.

Again though, i wont believe the voices are slender controlling him unless its canon whoops

These are just my thoughts though, feel free to formulate your own opinions!!!

I hope i answered your question :)))

If I didn’t, let me know pls !! Ily bb <3

#send me your thoughts #creepypasta #ticci toby #nn/ #thoughts #slenderman proxy #proxy

[krpk-remaking]

Dr Sex Epic Character - maxx @maxxeruz

Leorio Paladinight is easily one of the most underrated hxh characters, both within the fandom, merch and the manga itself, because he really is the most normal out of the main four and i really think he should be appreciated more because hes a great character!

Once again, shoutout to Mags @senritsus for helping with this! Go follow him!!

Im gonna be talking about Leorios Character, where his arc will go, and his connection with Kurapika. This is gonna be a little harder than writing Kurapika meta, since theres (sadly) a lot less Leorio content and we know a lot less about his background but ill try my best! Leorio deserves it.

Reading my Kurapika meta might make this a little more enjoyable, since i touched on Leorios and Kurapikas relationship more in depth there but you can read this post without reading it!

1 . Leorios Personality And His Past

When we first meet Leorio, hes introduced as a stupid, greedy and quick to anger Pervert, not an uncommon trope for a comedic relief character in anime. Those comedic relief characters often lack personality beyond that, a fact that is actually commented on by Kurapika.

But thanks to Kurapika, about seven chapters in, we learn more about Leorio and his motivations and as the manga goes on, it becomes obvious that there is way more to Leorio than just someone whos there for comedic relief.

Leorio grew up in (presumably extreme) poverty, loosing a friend due to their lack of money, motivating him to want to become a doctor whos able to help people for free.

"I'm a simple guy. Figured I'd become a doctor... so I could cure some kid with the same disease, tell his parents they owed me nothing! Me... A doctor! Now there's a joke!! Do you know how much it costs to even try to become a doctor? The mind boggles!! It's always about money! Always!! That's why I want it!"

Knowing this, Leorios character already gains a lot of depth. Sadly, the manga doesnt mention when exactly his friend died but the 2011 Anime follows the manga more closely so ill go with the fact that his friend died when they were younger. Most of Leorios actions can be explained with the guilt he feels over the death of his friend, how useless he often feels and the way his upbringing in poverty affected him, for example at the very beginning, the fight he picks with Kurapika stems from the fact that Kurapika didnt respect him and was acting as if he was better than him.

Leorio absolutely hates feeling like hes at a disadvantage, or like someone is looking down on him, probably due to getting little respect during his childhood due to his poverty. This also just might be the reason for him to constantly dress in a suit, something that rich, important people often wear. He often overplays his pride, puts up a facade and the way he presents himself really just screams overcompensation in so many ways

Here, he gets upset at Killua because he feels disadvantaged once again. This feeling of inferiority is often the reason for the fights Leorio has with Kurapika and in this instance Killua, he absolutely hates being looked down on. The Other reason he fights with someone early on is, because they dont value life in his eyes, for example the old woman who was asking them to choose between two human lives, toying with them per say, and not valuing them.

Leorio values human life, especially those of his friends over everything else and has a strong sense of Morality, since he did acknowledge he was in the wrong and apologized to the old lady.

When Hisoka was playing with the lives of the others during the hunter exam, as well as Leorios and his friends, Leorio got upset once again and, knowing just how powerful Hisoka was attacked him anyways with no regard for his safety.

He mentions “being toyed with” twice, something people do with people they look down on/are stronger than, where Leorios hate of feeling inferior once again comes back to show.

But, While Leorio absolutely hates being regarded worse than everyone, he also dislikes being viewed as someone whos better than everyone and gets very embarassed everytime someone compliments him/shows him positive attention. This is either due to the fact that he isnt used to it, or that he doesnt think he deserves it (note how hes always drawn with an embarassed blush).

Leorio is a very selfless man, whos ready to do everything in his power to help his friends because he doesnt want to ever lose another friend again. During the election arc, he focuses his entire speech around wanting to help Gon and uses his power to call for everyone to try and help Gon,

when Illumi manipulates Killua into killing during the hunter exam arc, Leorio is ready to give up his hunter licence for Killua,

And, being well aware of what Illumi was capable of, refused to let him through the door to protect Gon.

reassured Killua, showing his intense care for his friends (and little kids since Killua had actually not even been that nice to him),

When Killua had to fight against the serial killer, before they knew about his real strength, Leorio assured him that he wouldnt have to fight,

he willingly risked his life and let hundreds of snakes bite him just to warn Kurapika and Gon and to assure their chances of success, and before that tried to disband their team so they could still advance if he failed,

and, without any fear, they couldve sense that, stared down and yelled at the phantom troupe.

Leorio hates feeling useless and despite that, often does. He felt useless when his friend died and thus decided to become a doctor to cope with this guilt, he felt useless when Gon was sick, like his friend, and he couldnt do anything once again and he feels useless when Kurapika wont let him help him and wont let him reach out but despite that he keeps trying, to fight his guilt, to make sure that Kurapika is safe and to do his best to help.

He describes studying to become a doctor as something he does for himself, he doesnt see that notion, becoming a doctor to help people for free, as something selfless that should be admired.

He doesnt see becoming a doctor as something that he should brag with or that people should know. When he first meets Gon and Kurapika he puts up the front of wanting money to buy cars, mansions, wine, etc, all things one usually would want with money, when he really wanted the money to study so he could help people. Leorio thinks hes useless and good for nothing while everyone else fights and he just “selfishly” studies, but hes not useless at all and obviously studying to become a doctor to help the poor isnt something thats selfish at all. Maybe his motivations, to deal with his guilt over losing a friend, are a little selfish but the fact that he even blames himself and that he copes by trying to protect and value life wherever he can show that Leorio himself isnt a selfish person, hes someone whos ready to put his life on the line for his friends and others any day, despite being less reckless than the other three.

He sees Kurapikas quest for revenge as something noble, while he thinks very little of himself. Even during the election arc, after he had come into second and third place multiple times he was still convinced, somehow, that no one was gonna vote for him.

Even Ging a very experienced and talented hunter, though he is a terrible person, thinks highly of Leorio,

even copying the punch he threw at him, which Leorio, as Ging theorizes, mightve developed to get rid of tumors that are unreachable with operation, showing just how smart Leorio really is.

Leorio is someone whos been alone a lot and, while hes the least reckless and best at selfcare out of all four protagonists, had little regard for himself in especially the first arc, where he just kept jumping into dangerous situation. An explanation for that could be, that he had no one to care about and no one that cared about him before he went to take the hunter exam since weve never actually heard about any family he had or has. He could possibly be an orphan, explaining the missing mention of any family and the extreme attachment he has to Gon, Killua and Kurapika.

Him being orphaned would also perfectly fit into hunter x hunters theme of finding new family after losing another, Kurapika losing his entire clan, Gon losing his father, Killua losing his entire family except Alluka since his family is terrible and as good as dead to him and Leorio just never having really had one. So, the reason he becomes a little more responsible in arcs after the hunter exam is probably, that he finally had people to care about again, that also cared about him so now he doesnt feel like no one would miss him if he died anymore.

In short, Leorio, while being extremely selfless, caring, fearless, moral and empathic, thinks very little of himself and often feels useless and selfish. He cares most about the well being of his friends and has deep rooted feelings of guilt about the death of his friend, even though it was out of his control and he doesnt believe that his goal to be a doctor or really just he himself is deserving of any praise.

His wish to be a doctor is a mix of that extreme internalized guilt from “letting” his friend die, his selflessness that just got pushed up by the guilt and the empathy he gained by growing up in poverty and the first hand experience on why exactly free healthcare is needed.

2. Leorios Relationship With Kurapika, His Guilt, And How His Arc Could End

I wont go in depth about them here, since i already have one that multiple times but they truly are so, so important to eachother and are in many ways two sides of the same coin. Both of them have lost people close to them and theyve dealt with it in such different ways. It made Leorio want to protect life and heal people, focusing his nen around helping others (see: the punch he used being something he actually developed to deal with tumors) and it made Kurapika want to destroy life and kill people, taking revenge and destroying himself in the process, mirrored within his nen ability too (as it literally kills him to use emperor time, one hour of his life for every second). So this set-up, combined with the guilt Leorio feels over not being able to help his friend or Gon, combined with how important they are to eachother, combined with how the current arc has the both together on that boat, I feel like it would really make sense for Leorio to finally be able to save someone, furthering his character arc in a very satisfying way and also helping Kurapikas arc, letting him accept help from others and becoming less self destructive.

“Leorio is an unabashedly selfless character who very deliberately centered his life around helping others and the thought that he cant do that with Kurapika is definitely something he tries to take blame for.” (directly quoted from mags @senritsus <3) If something were to happen to Kurapika while Leorio is near and on top of that on doctor duty, where helping people is his only job, i couldnt imagine the guilt Leorio would feel. Hes always been looking out for Kurapika since they became close friends (and maybe the nearest thing to a best friend either had had in years) during the hunter exam and Kurapika did always try to be someone who calmed Leorio and helped him be more rational, though that changed when he began his down spiral after killing his first person and they drifted further apart and Leorio took on the job of calming down Kurapika.

Kurapika calming Leorio VS

Leorio calming Kurapika

Kurapika is in desperate need of saving and having Leorio be that person to save him would be so perfect for both of their arcs.

This arc already set up the tension in their relationship at the very beginning, or atleast before the succession war began and i do believe it has to be resolved (relatively) soon, especially because of this (once again my favorite) panel, showing Leorio as one of the four people Kurapika cares most about.

And, to quote my Kurapika meta post about this panel, Hes thinking about moments where they made him happy/made him care about them, Gon and Killua with their food fight in the park where they cheered him up and Leorio on the phone. Its him calling to check up on Kurapika. Kurapika really did appreciate it so much, even if he doesnt show it, even if he keeps pushing Leorio away. And he does care about them, even if he doesnt want to! The way Leorio expresses care for his friends, which is very vocal and direct, is so good for Kurapika because even if he still cant really believe or accept it, its still something he appreciates, somehow. I am not (!) saying that they will definitely end up with eachother but they are definitely incredibly important to the others character development and i dont think Togashi will forget about that.

If youve read all this, thank you so so much i really appreciate it! Leorio is an incredible Character that deserves more love and i hope everything i wrote here is coherrent!! If i made any mistakes or if you just have any thoughts youd like to share on this topic please send me an ask! <3

#i love leorio: the masterpost #strawberrymeta #leorio paladiknight #hxh #hunter x hunter #leopika

[soulsdyke]

hey y'all i really don't want to be negative, buuuuut...

i kinda hated spop season 3. the last half, at least. mostly what they did with catra.

here's a stream of consciousness list of reasons why the season sucks and maybe where i would have taken it instead:

catra literally has been more genuinely evil on screen than hordak. HORDAK is more redeemable, at this point, than catra. and if he becomes irredeemable, it'll be BECAUSE of catra's manipulation, which is Super fucked up

because of 1, they're seriously digging a hole that'll be tough to bring catra back from. imo, when catra manipulated hordak, it was over for me. i was already leaning toward scorptra over catradora because scorpia seemed to be better for catra but at this point i cant justify shipping catra with anyone because she's so abusive

they seriously needed to redeem catra, at least partially. they SHOULD have had catra learn that she isn't defined by shadow weaver or adora and that she can grow and be happy. as someone who has an abusive mother, i think its Extremely fucked up that the abuse catra has been through is just fueling her hatred and she's close to if not completely irredeemable because of it. it stinks of "suffering abuse makes you abusive" and makes me feel like shit ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING

SHADOW WEAVER gets to work with the good guys. i wouldnt say that theyve redeemed her, which THEY SHOULD NEVER FUCKING DO, but they've CERTAINLY painted her in a better fucking light which makes me EXTREMELY angry considering point 3. catra's ABUSER is being treated as less evil than her. what the FUCK.

personally, i would have made one simple change: catra doesn't go back to the horde after capturing adora. she and scorpia stay in the crimson waste and become a third faction that's at odds with both the horde and the rebellion. obviously, this would completely change the finale.

maybe bow and glimmer assume catra is still with the horde, like they do in canon, but now they're wrong. they go to the fright zone to rescue her but...OH no, she's not even there! hordak could pretend they have her somewhere to keep the team off balance, and entrapta is super confused because she knows they don't have adora (causing funny antics btwn her and hordak). bow would talk to entrapta, instead of adora, which i think would be a lot more interesting because of the dynamic btwn bow and entrapta. i also would have had shadow weaver betray them somehow, maybe put everyone in danger so she can kill hordak, to keep her motivation for working with them at all as revenge against him.

while thats going on, maybe adora is escaping from catra, completely alone. showcase how capable she is on her own, if she isn't taken by surprise. there can be a fight btwn her and scorpia where scorpia talks about how much she hates adora ("what kind of name is adora anyway? like yeah i get it, eeeeveryone loves you blah blah"), and maybe adora finally gets it in her head that she hasn't treated catra great or ever really understood her.

it could end with the gang in the fright zone defeated, but escaped and in one piece. adora escaped, but now she's stranded in the middle of the crimson waste alone.

#spop s3 #spop spoilers #catra #long post #adora

[sheencko]

mr. moreau

an unfinished scrap of a novel i am not sure ill continue

i can see it its a diamond with the crossroads its white borders from my cracked window up here

i ‘ave to get that fixed)—  just below the fog (the fog is low today)

—and its on top of the street that was just painted

oh yesterday or maybe the day before that

or something,

i think

black as my genevieve’s ‘air

two bodies crisscrossed atop of each other and splattered like paint on a black canvas, a pollack of angry reds and i cant see their face cause theyve been ravaged by the hard concrete and im so high up looking down like a dreamer into a field of rye and i shudder because oh, how painful is that but i also suppose,

when youre fallin i guess you only feel the woosh of the wind under you and maybe your soul leaves your body before your body breaks into a million teeny tiny pieces and everything inside you that youve ever dreamed flows out of you like a bucket tipping over onto a tile floor—maybe

maybe its a perpetual fear and youre trapped inside a perpetual cycle of mind numbing terror because youre falling to your doom and you regret that your feet left the edge in the first place and maybe, maybe you shoulda called your mom and then told her that you loved her one last time or apologized to the man that you bumped into while you were hurrying home yesterday and the tears are flying from your face ‘cause you can see them surrounding your grave wearin nothing but black and your father is silent but a kind of silent youve never seen before and in that second you can just SEE him taking the same path you are and then

maybe the fear grips your limbs like god coming down and punishing you but all you feel is a childish sort of aversion an “i dont wanna” cause you dont wanna—you dont wanna die cause you have so so much to live for and youre cryin to some big fat man up in the sky but whats he gonna do? he cant stop you

but i wouldn’ know but i took the elevator and went down to look at the scene anyway cause we’re all drawn to the misfortune of others anyway like nothing more than moths having an orgy on a blue flame

mr. steinway was next to me in the elevator; he lived on the 13th floor and i on the 12th i saw him smoking up on the roof sometimes. he was a gentleman by any other name, except the part where his wife left him cause hed been caught with a particularly young mistress but i suppose that didnt matter because he played ravel’s jeux d’eau like no one else in the world could and maybe he played her body like that homonymous six figure grand he has, who knows

his face was wrinkled and ugly but the melodies he played were smooth and beautiful so who cared about his damn visage i guess

“oh, mister moreau,” and for that matter, his voice wasnt particularly musical either

“steinway, are you heading down to see what happened?”

“arent we all,” he chuckled like the deaths were a funny little joke he had made up,

“i think i’ll stop by the grocery store”

“is that so?” he spoke like a conductor introducing a symphony to an ignorant audience and he was just trying to find a way to relive his days of performing inside carnegie hall’s stern auditorium because all he performed in now was his empty apartment, we around ‘im the unwilling listeners. he silently watched the floor numbers count down on the bar above the elevator doors 10 9 8 7 “i ‘aven’t been there lately.” he finally said like he had wondered how to talk without being offensive while still showing his pockets were full of gold.

dick, i thought 4 5

and waited and 2 1 and the doors opened.

our doorman greeted us. he was a fine fellow and i talked with him when it was too awkward for silence. he had a prized son about to head off to columbia on some scholarship or another and his younger daughter was expected to follow in his shoes. his mother was bedridden his dad dead and apparently he made a great deal of money working as a valet for the most expensive hotel in the city on the weekends. he liked the color orange and his ties were sometimes tied with a different knot because his daughter liked to practice on him. for lunch he preferred a simple tomato and mozzarella panini from the cafe a few blocks away but occasionally he partook in the pita bread and hummus that mrs. tomadakis on the fourth floor gave him and he always always despised it when someone moved the rug in front of the door. i didnt know his name.

“another suicide, huh?” he gave me a warm smile and mr. steinway a slightly cooler one

he said ‘another’ because it had been the eighth one this month and we were only fourteen days into it and silently, slowly we found ourselves heading towards a point of numb disassociation—when one person committed suicide it was all over the news like mr. steinway’s scandal and you learned their birthday, their name, their age,

every tiny detail of they had been, the sorrow of their friends and family,

and everything that happened between the day that they they came into the world and the day they left

and the people reacted with horror, the parents apologized to their kids and the kids to their parents, and the grief counselors opened their doors to those who had lost someone in a similar fashion and had to relive the memory through someone else’s eyes and maybe a wide-eyed girl holdin the blade to her small wrist told herself not today, not today

but of course, thats me being optimistic

sometime after the third suicide all that popped up was a name and a vague somethingorother reason they lit themselves on fire or shot themselves in the ‘ead or something and then a frown from the casters, maybe a tinge of sympathy entered their tone but then 10 seconds passed and they forgot because this was all part of a trend that would end. the people talked about the suicides in hushed tones but now the conservations were turning into a more questioning again? and a response of yeses and then it tended to be never discussed again because hey it didnt involve us anyhow

so the nameless bodies started to pile up one on top of each other and i knew the faces and names of maybe three or four but no more.

i nodded to him. “troubling,” i said, because what else could i say

“yes, definitely. my wife had me turn off the news last night because she was so… distressed at all the incidents lately” the doorman replied and there was a hint of something unknown when he said it. nonetheless he turned to the man next to me because his priorities were his own “I heard your playing the other day, mr. steinway. marvelous as always,” he said, voice turned slick because steinway gave good tips. he couldn’t hear anything from all the way on the 1st floor of course

mr. steinway looked chuffed, a prizewinning cock who fought with all the other roosters. “the debussy or the khachaturian?”

“the khachaturian, of course. i always find myself partial to the contemporary—“ the doorman said in an inviting tone to begin an conversation that would undoubtedly net him a few more dollars or maybe a lot more next week—

“interesting!” steinway murmured in that hushed tone since discussion of classical music was clearly some covert operation that no one was supposed to know about. i walked outside into the cool fall air knowing that they would be stuck there for a good ten minutes or more and noticed that the crowd around the two corpses in the middle was gone already and the first thing i wondered was not who they were but rather if dear genevieve had heard the news

there is a photographer standing by the bodies with her big old camera snap snap and she looks up and stares at me staring at her she stands up and i notice that the bottom of her pants have been scuffed by the road she smiles at me without dusting herself off,

“hello!” she was too cheery for the death in front of her “do you live here?” she is the only one out here and the world feels strangely empty

“yes, i” i pointed to the clean, modern building to the left “live just over there,”

she looked at me up and down up and down “you wouldn’t know these people would you?” no i wouldnt

“no” her face fell but then it rose again as she stuffed a card into my clammy hand and the bracelets on her hand jangled and she grinned at me with white teeth but the front two were crooked as if someone ‘ad taken a pair of pliers to them and her brown ‘air was messy, her skin lighter than mine—“i was just wondering since no one seems to know who they are” (she spoke in a rush like she was breathless) and i finally start to wonder indeed, who they are because even as corpses their hands are entwined together “i’m” and now that im down here i can see the fine details in their “photographer, i” faces and the one on the left has that dead fish look in their dark eyes and the eyes are wide open and theyre staring into “crime scenes” my very soul and i wonder if theyre blaming me for my being complicit in their deaths because i too heard the news and did nothing but “ive been in the news” my hands are shaking and i think i couldnt have done anything because i didnt know but something jabs me — a maybe i did know because i too heard the news and passed by disinterested “but i also do” and im staring back at them and theyre staring back at me in a staring contest that i know i will lose “family portraits, anything you need basically” and the one on the rights eyes are closed and the part of their face that isnt all burst open and spilling onto the floor has a tender charm and their lips are fixed in what seems like a peaceful smile but im thinking no there is no way that could be peaceful and oh “call the number if” their ‘ands are all so small if i could just have grabbed those before they jumped maybe id be staring at an empty black canvas instead of a grotesque exhibit of all that we ‘ave done wrong

work title:

artist:

medium: human on concrete

[boonesfarmsangria]

I finally saw fleet foxes last night and the show was so good. They played pretty non stop for almost two hours and played basically everything you would want to hear them play. Live they are so much more solid sounding. The instrumentation is really layered and thick. And with the new songs they definitely rocked out more. Obviously the harmonies are a strong point for them but it didnt feel like that was the main point and the new songs blended into the old and made them less simple sounding along with this newer direction in playing.. it just fattened them up in a really nice way but also maintained their identity in ways that didnt feel like the vibe of the song was abandoned or mistakeable. (Their old songs are amazing, some of my favorite songs ever, but they are relatively straightforward) Robin sounded really good and I wondered how his voice would translate live. Its better, prettier, fuller. He said they had had a weird show the night before and complimented the crowd a few times. (We were all singing alot and there was a lot of the general screaming) He didnt wear his in-ears so there was some people yelling things to him that he could hear and he interracted and responded to, which was cool since hes not a big onstage talker. He was smiling alot and looked like he was really having a good time and enjoying the atmosphere. The other guys werent displaying much outwardly (i dont think they really do normally) but it felt like they were really into it. And towards the end they were kinda joking a lil amongst themselves. It was just a really good space. Robin sang a few songs by himself and those were pretty special and showed how talented he is. Felt like it could as easily been just him up there and would have been entertainment enough. Not to take away from the rest of the guys at all because they are insanely talented..all of them at many points switching among multiple instruments throughout the set and generally doin the damn thing…just thats how good Robin sounds with his voice and a guitar. (I would never want that im just saying hes really somethin) The list of songs they played is crazy. Like outside of saying you like every single one of their songs equally i really cant see how this could have been better. I guess they could have played keep time on me and dropped a fleet foxes song but thats not what most people would want id guess. So even though i love LOVE their old songs and didnt think id love their new as much i really did and their set is dialed tf in. They are just so good. I was trying to think who they kinda remind me off and theres the general 70s band vibe and the beach boys harmonies but these new songs and the way theyve blended the set kinda had a jazzy feel to it. Kinda a weather report thing going on. So good. My pictures, as i always deliver, are less than great. I couldnt get a pic of all of them together cuz i was too close (ha real sad huh) Someone threw a bouquet of roses onstage after the main and when they came back for the encore robin had tucked one in his hair. Pretty damn cute and endearing. Anyway there wasnt really a highlight song for me because i really was so in love with it all from start to finish. I just wanted to hear all of those songs so to do so for the first time it just… it was perfect. Im so excited to see them again!!!!! They are now on my would travel out of state to see list.

Just wanna add I love Robin and think he is one of the coolest band dudes out there for a bunch of different reasons that I wont go into cuz this is really long already but he is a good person. A sweetie. Go see Fleet Foxes if they are near you and you like good music. Its worth the ticket price.

#2017 shows #mitv #fleet foxes #ff #mine #the opener was the most boring band ive seen in a long long long time #however chill this reads know that the show was heaven and i loved every second of it and im hype af on ff rn

[mortallyburningobservation]

Serena meets a vampire

First, Id like to introduce myself.My name is Serena and Im a witch.I know what youre thinking and the answer is no.Im not the kind a witch that worships the elements or practices Wicca.Im the real kind.I can cast real spells which really work.

Given I look very human I blend in with the rest of you, therefore you wouldnt know that Im a witch by looking at me.I eat, drink, and sleep - and when I fly Im a passenger in a plane and not on a broom.

Incidentally, Im nearly two hundred years old.

Relax!I dont look that old.In fact, I physically turned fifteen years old last July.Confused?Id be.

Now, where should I start?I guess everything stems from a Halloween Party that I attended eleven years ago.I just love Halloween Parties.

Huh…?Hang on a second my mom is calling me.

Okay, Im back.My Mom wanted to remind me that Charmed is on television tonight.Its a Halloween Special.Theres something about a show filled with hot witches that turns me on.Anyway, in my family we all sit around the television to watch this show.

Whats that?

Oh yes.Im the only witch in my family and they havent a clue.

Did I mention its Halloween in a couple of days?Ive been, like, invited to a really kewl party.A couple of my girlfriends are trying to set me up with Damien.Hes in my algebra class and really cute, but to be honest, I have my sights on someone else.But Ill get to that later.

Halloween night is a very special night for me.It was midnight on this date, two hundred years ago, that I was conceived.In fact, its the only night of the year that a witch can get pregnant.It certainly makes for some interesting parties.Anyway, on a certain Halloween night there was another significant event, and like I mentioned before, this happened eleven years ago.Ill never forget about it because Im reminded of it several times a day.All I have to do is look in the mirror.

No, Im not hideous.In fact, Im a very pretty girl.I mean, really pretty.Im even pretty enough to be a model.Anyway, eleven years ago, I was a very beautiful 28 year-old woman, who stood about 58 and weighed about 115lbs.I was extremely fit and firm, not to mention incredibly curvy.My most prominent feature back then was my tits, which I contributed to my biological mom, who was pretty healthy herself, and a growth spell that I cast on them during countless hours in front of my vanity mirror.If I had worn a bra back then, I probably would have needed a 35DD-cup.

I guess I should get going with what happened to me but before I do let me go over some facts.In order for a witch, or a warlock for that matter, to stay young, they have to steal age from humans.I know this sounds mean, but in most cases, you humans arent even aware it is happening.Did you ever notice how some people look much older than their age?For example, some girls who are 14 look more like 20!You know the kind - trust me - theyve been tampered with.

You will also be happy to know that the nicer witches outnumber the evil ones, so when a nice witch steals age, they usually steal a little at a time.The victims never know.By the way, Im one of the nice witches and have never intentionally stolen more than 3 months from the same human.Evil witches are another matter and can be very dangerous.Id recommend that you stay clear of them but chances are you wouldnt know one if you met one.If they did do something to you, theyd probably cover their tracks and tamper with your short-term memory as well.

Just to shine some light on how serious stealing age can be, let me share a very sad story with you.It happened about thirty or forty years ago.Im sorry, when you lived as long as I have; trying to pinpoint a time frame is difficult.What I do remember is my cover, because I enjoyed some of my most memorable experiences during this time frame.I was physically 21 at the time and portraying myself as a rich girl attending a prestigious college in the Northeast.I laugh now at my motivation for attending this specific college, for this Institution is female exclusive.

I remember renting a small house in a quaint little suburban area.I even grew a friendship with my neighbors, and the young couple had the most adorable little girl.Every day she would stop by and visit me after school and I loved listening to her talk.She would say some of the silliest things.

Anyway, just to stay in the loop of my true nature, I would occasionally attend a Coven party, and it was at this party that I toyed around with a warlock.The guy was a creep, and had a reputation for playing the witches.I thought it was about time someone paid him back in spades.I knew he wouldnt try any spells on me for it was against the code, and to be truthful, Im pretty powerful so I seriously doubt his powers would have been a match for my own.Well, by the end of the party, the warlock realized he wasnt getting any from me and he became outright belligerent.I was relieved to see him leave the party.

One Friday afternoon returning home from an afternoon lecture, he showed up unexpectedly.I was shocked.He said that he decided to forgive me and surprise me with a weekend getaway.Of course I told him I wasnt interested.I remember thinking; doesnt this warlock get the hint?Anyway, I told him that what he was doing was called harassment and I threatened him with a formal complaint to the Warlock & Witches Council.

Well, this only made him angrier.If you hadnt guessed it by now, Im a lesbian.Well, at least I was then and I never disclosed this to the warlock during the party.But even if I were into men back then, this guy wouldnt have had a chance.He was a creep - plain and simple.

Anyway, the warlock asked me if it was due to our age difference.His body was that of a man in his mid thirties, so he must have assumed that I preferred younger men.I again asked him to leave, and it was about then that my little friend came through the door.You know - the little girl.Now, stealing age doesnt take that long and can be accomplished in a matter of seconds.The warlock spotted the girl, grabbed her arm, and before I could react, he applied the age transformation spell.He stole the girls childhood right before my eyes!

I stood there in utter shock.How someone could be cruel enough to do this to a little girl was beyond me.I looked at the warlock, who now looked in his early 20s and then looked back at the little girl, who was no longer little.In fact, the girl was now a stunningly beautiful young woman!Given her clothes were torn to shreds from her transformation, she stood there near naked and looking like she was about to cry.If I recall, her name was Christina.

Anyway, Christina was now wearing a body of a young woman about 19 or 20, but she was still mentally a child!Once a witch or a warlock performs this age transformation spell, its final… at least to the best of my knowledge.

I quickly led Christina over to the couch and placed a sleep spell on her.Then I turned back to the warlock.He stood there thinking he was gods gift to women and I screamed a bunch of profanities at him.I would have loved to cast a curse on him, but the laws prevented me.Anyway, he told me to go fuck myself and walked out the door.

So, there I was, faced with a 10-year-old girl inside a 20-year-old body.I knelt down by Christina and cried.It was my fault.10 years of this girls life was gone and shed never get it back.How was I going to explain this to her parents?How was Christina going to adapt?As all these things ran through my mind, I kept on staring at the girl and I admit she was starting to make me feel horny.The girls 20-year-old body was breathtaking and like I already told you I was a lesbian.Christina looked so sweet and obviously she was innocent.I hope you dont think the worse of me for my bodys reaction, but it isnt something that I could control.

Think about it.Im staring down at a young, innocent, very vulnerable woman, who was incredibly beautiful and near naked.I would have given anything to make love to her, but I restrained myself.I didnt go there!I wanted too, but I didnt!Instead, I spent the rest of that day and night casting various spells.I did what was best for her and her parents, but what I did is another story and I need to get back to this one.

Like I had mention earlier, at 28 years of physical age, I was a knock out and believe me when I say I draw my share of attention.My hair is blonde and I kept it long.So long it actually tickled my butt when naked.Incidentally, Id appreciate it if you hold back the blonde jokes.

Anyway, here I am at this party and thinking that I was all that and having no idea what was in store for me.All I knew is that I love Halloween parties and despite this experience, I always will.I love the fact that people dress up in costumes and hide their inhibitions underneath a mask.I myself tend to be more daring.

Oh, let me tell you what I was wearing.My costume was the one I always wore.Remember that old television show from the sixties?Bewitched was the name.Remember the blonde cartoon at the shows introduction.I looked like her, but even sexier.I wore a black short skirt, black top, black sexy hat, which set off my long blonde flowing hair.Thats what I looked like, except for my tits were much bigger.

Anyway, the black outfit I wore was form fitting and showcased every curvaceous attribute I possessed.So, I was attracting all kinds of attention.I was out on the prowl and feeling very horny.Oh… did you know that in my two hundred years that almost all my sexual relationships only lasted a week?Although there was Cassandra North, who I shared the same bed with for a much longer period of time, but Cassandras another story for a different time.

As the party progressed I settled on a cute hottie dressed as Super Girl.She looked college age and I looked forward to my favorite part of the evening, the seduction.Most girls were virgin to female sex and this made it all the more erotic for me.Dont get me wrong, there are plenty enough hot looking lipstick lesbians out there, but I prefer my girls pure and innocent to lesbian sex.I absolutely love how confused they become when theyre suddenly aroused for another girl.

Super Girl was petite, and possessed shoulder length auburn hair.She looked very sexy in her mini and cape.If I remember correctly, I think her name was either Lisa or Lana... or something that started with an L.Everything about the girl was perfect, except maybe her breasts.I really did feel shed look far sexier with a bigger pair, but then again Im partial to bigger breasts proven by how much time I spent perfecting my own.I had the girl approach me using a compulsion spell and found she was here with her roommate.Apparently, the girls were friends of the host, but since I crashed the party, I had no idea who the host was.

The girls roommate was dressed as Batgirl.The girls attended the local community college and I immediately got wet thinking about a threesome with them.I mean, if Batgirl looked half as hot as Super Girl, how could I resist?

As Super Girl and I talked about various interests, I decided it was time to make my move.So, I cast one of my favorite spells on her.

Just to let you know, there are over one hundred different spells to choose from when it comes to seducing a girl.My favorite is the arousal spell.Now, I know youre thinking why would a girl that looks like me need to resort to using magic.Excuse me.Hello...?The girl Im seducing is heterosexual, remember?Just because Im all that doesnt mean that a girl that likes dick is suddenly going to want to lick pussy.So, even witches that are knock outs have to resort to witchcraft every now and then.

The arousal spell I used transmitted a stronger version of my own arousal inside the girl.The hornier I become for the girl, the hornier she would become for me, but I made sure to amplify her arousal almost five fold.I also decided to do something about her breasts, and ended up using a time delayed growth spell on them.Im usually pretty good at measurements and decided to go with an increase of three additional cup sizes.I wasnt completely sure what size bra she wore, but she didnt look bigger than a B cup.Not wanting her boobs to be painfully entrapped in her bra, I made it where the spell would trigger the second she slipped it off.Super Girl would go from a 34B cup to Double Ds!I also made it where her breasts would be extra sensitive to sexual stimulation, and then tied the stimulation of her nipples directly to her clit.

Well, it wasnt long before Lisa started to fidget.She was soooo adorable as she tried denying her desire for me.She mentioned more than once how hot it was and I saw her discreetly touch herself.She blushed when I caught her staring at my boobs.

I then looked around for Batgirl, but unfortunately she was still nowhere to be found.I decided I was too horny to wait any longer, so I invited Super Girl to come upstairs with me.But just as I was about to take her hand I noticed a man.

Now, that in it self should have set off some alarm bells.Simply put – I never notice men.They notice me and I ignore them.What bugged me about this man was that he was so damn good looking.My eyes were glued to him.What was it about him that hit me with those powerful vibes?

Then the mans eyes locked on my eyes and suddenly I felt a strange tug inside my mind.I also felt suddenly weak with an overwhelming desire to spread my legs for him.Here I was a lesbian and feeling heterosexual desire for the first time in my life.Im not sure how I was able to look away but I did and quickly shook off the feelings and composed myself.I then turned back to my pet super heroine and could see from her heavy breathing that she was ready.Hell, I could smell her.

I leaned over and copped a feel of her lovely ass and as I did I made sure to slide my hand underneath her sexy mini.I pressed my middle and index fingers against her pussy and she nearly came right then and there.Gasping and blushing, she pressed her ass down against her fingers in hopes that I would enter her.I so loved teasing my conquests.

As I was about to lead her away, the man that had so captivated me a few moments ago now stood boldly in front of me.Had I really forgotten about him?He had this huge grin on his face, gave Super Girl a quick once over with his eyes, and then returned his attention to me.

The guy oozed virility and was on the tall side.He wore black, but if he were trying to pass himself off as a vampire, I thought he failed miserably.I was about to tell him that he was intruding on something private but Super Girl suddenly announced that she had to go home.

Impossible!I could still smell the girls arousal for me!How could she be putty in my hands one second and then be leaving the next?I was about to throw a get lost spell at the man when he suddenly caught my gaze again.

His eyes were soooooooo hypnotic.Soooooooooo deep.Soooooooooo incredibly beautiful and it no longer bothered me that Super Girl was leaving.

The man started to make small talk with me and I felt compelled to respond.Strangely enough, I even found the conversation enjoyable, and boy did I want him.Im not sure how the topic landed on immortality, but it did.

It has always been my contention that warlocks and witches should not be classified as immortal because if we chose not to steal age, we wouldnt stay young.Ive certainly had my share of debates on this subject, not to mention some really heated ones, and this guy was no different.I remember becoming really angry at his smug smile.I mean… who the hell did this guy think he was?

I was really getting pissed and declared that witches can die of old age - just like humans and therefore this in itself proved their mortality.

Witches choose whether to live or die.Only immortals have this choice, the guy responded, just as angry.

Youre wrong!Witches need to steal their youth in order to survive.How can you be so ignorant not to see this and besides, what makes you such an authority on the subject?

It sounds to me like youve had this argument before.Maybe if you were less a bitch and more a witch, youd be as attractive on the inside as you clearly are on the outside, the man replied, smiling.

I was fuming!How dare this guy talk to me like this!How dare he call me a bitch!I was about to let him have it when he simply stared into my eyes again.Those damn eyes!I lost myself in them.They were big, beautiful, dark, deep, and ever so gorgeous.It wasnt until that very moment that I realized I had lost my will in them.Whoever this guy was, he had successfully hypnotized me.I was powerless to do or say anything.I remembered desperately trying to break eye contact with him but found I couldnt.Not until he asked me a question was I able to say something, and even then it was only to answer him specifically.

Whats your name and your true age, the man asked me.

Serena Templer.Im one hundred and eighty-eight years old, I whispered in response.

Youre very pretty for someone so old.It must be immortality that keeps you looking so young, huh? he responded with a smile.

Yes, I whispered.

I couldnt help it!This man had mentally forced me to admit that I was wrong in my definition of immortality.I turned beet red from embarrassment.

Let me introduce myself, Serena.My name is Michael Anthony Lexington and Im what you would consider a vampire.Not an every day run of the mill vampire, but Im an ancient one and have been undead for nearly a thousand years.Now, follow me, witch.

If I were allowed, I would have panicked, but instead I found myself following the vampire through the crowd of partygoers and out the back door.Damn me to hell – I saw Batgirl on the way and she was just as hot as her roommate.Anyway, when we got outside we went another fifty feet until we were alone in a back ally.We stopped next to a black limo that was parked on the side of the street.It was obviously his.

Tell me, my pretty little witch.Have you ever made it with a vampire before?

Yes, Cassandra North… we were lovers for a decade.

Ah yes, Cassandra North… Im aware of her.Im curious about something.Were you always a lesbian witch or did Cassandra turn you?

I... I... I dont understand.Ive always been a lesbian, I responded, suddenly very confused.

Cassandra could have easily altered your sexual preference when she drank your blood.I swear… you witches are as helpless as these humans.Have you ever been with a male before?

No.I mean... not really, I whispered in response, suddenly remembering an incident that happened a long time ago.

Explain.

I... I had sex when I was real young.The boy got me drunk and took advantage of me.

And your witchcraft didnt protect you?

I was too young.

I see...Well, did you get revenge when you turned sixteen?

Yes... I... I cursed him, I replied, wondering how he knew about my witchcraft kicking in when I turned 16.I cursed him where he would only feel sexually aroused from the act of masturbation.

Hmmm… interesting, he responded, smiling.

I stood there like a statue as the vampire approached me.When he stood inches from me, he brought his hands up to cup my chin.Im not small, and usually I dont have to look that far up at someone, but with him I had to look up... and I felt very small.Weak, too!Another thing I was feeling was that strong sexual desire Id been feeling before for him… but this time it was about five times stronger!

Please, I begged, needing him.

The vampire brought his mouth down to my mouth and we kissed, and then I wanted him more than anyone else before in my life!I wanted him to fuck me!I desperately wanted him to fuck me!I remember my huge breasts bouncing up and down with each heavy breath I took and feeling wetter than I ever felt before in my life.Never had I wanted to be with anyone more than this vampire and that included Cassandra.If he wanted my neck, I would have begged for him to drink from me.If he wanted my life, I would have begged for him to take it.

As he kissed me, I continued to kiss him back, harder and with more passion than ever before.I blush to this day at the memory and did I mention he left me with a vivid recollection?My only thought was how desperately I wanted him to bend me over the hood of his car and outright fuck me.

Then suddenly, he broke away from me which left me gasping.My eyes pleaded for more and if I had control over my actions, I would have dropped down to my knees and begged him.

Tell me, Serena... what would you like more than anything else in the world?

I... I want you to fuck me, I replied, honestly.

Strip for me - slowly.

The fact that we were outside... didnt matter.All I remember caring about was undressing, but undressing slow enough to look my sexiest.I forced myself to go slower than I would have preferred, but I knew how important it was to please him.After I stripped completely, I stood submissively naked before him.Damn did I ever need him, and I knew my eyes represented this.Id been reduced to his sex slave and he made me crave it!

You still want to be fucked, Serena?

Yesssssss… pleeaaaassssssseee, I whimpered and begged.

Go ahead and lean yourself over the hood of the limo, he commanded me.

I eagerly turned around and did as I was told... spreading my legs with anticipation.

Im going to give you a taste of what youve been missing all these years.

As the vampire moved behind me, I felt myself getting hotter and hotter between my legs.Waves and waves of arousal crashed down on me and my knees nearly buckled when I heard him lower his zipper.

Uuuuunnnnngggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh, I cried out as he penetrated me.

Never in my 200 years had I felt more pleasure from a single act.As the vampire thrust into my dripping wet hot cunt, I cried out in ecstasy and wished he would never stop.Every time the vampire pulled back, I cried in fear that he was withdrawing, and then screamed out louder as he plunged back into me.I know I was loud, but I couldnt help it.If someone was outside in a couple block radius they would have heard me.By the time he was done, I had lost count at how many times I came and eventually passed out.

Im not sure how long I was out cold, but when I woke, I was still leaning over the hood of his limo.I must have presented quite a sight with my legs spread eagled and my naked ass on display.I also remember how incredibly satisfied I felt.

I heard the vampire tell me to turn around and as I did, I noted the soreness inside my pussy.He smiled as if he knew what I was thinking.Was this a reminder of my first fuck?

When I looked down and saw that the vampire had put his cock away, I felt a rush of disappointment.Apparently, he was done fucking me.Then I noticed the teenagers standing by the side… a boy and a girl who didnt look much older than fifteen or sixteen.My first thought was to cover my nudity, but my arms remained at my sides and my sexy costume remained on the ground by my feet.

Serena… I must tell you that this was one of the finer fucks Ive had in a very long time.You were not only hot, but tight as well.

I blushed at his comment, but I also felt proud... and I had no idea why.

Now, let me introduce you to Jeremy and Connie.My chauffeur selected them.He found them while you were taking a nap.Youve been sleeping in that position for more than an hour and Ill tell you this much, both Jeremy and Connie couldnt get over how hot you looked in that position.Yes, even Connie, who had never looked at another girl sexually before in her life, thought you looked hot.Anyway, theres another thing that the three of us did while you were sleeping.We talked about the future.Your future, their future, and how you will all be one happy family.

I just stood there wondering what he was talking about.More sex…?I could feel myself becoming aroused again.

Incidentally, it seems like Jeremy and Connie are just friends.Jeremy has always had a crush on Connie but Connie never felt anything other than a friendship towards him.Theyre both virgins.Apparently, she has a boyfriend and although she hasnt gone all the way she has done everything else.

I watched the Vampire walk over to Jeremy and Connie and stand directly in front of them.Both kids faced forward apparently in some sort of trance.

I have plans for them… and you.First, let me make some adjustments to them.

The vampire stood silent, alternating his gaze back and forth between them.It seemed like a long time but it was probably less than a minute.I only did what I was allowed to do... watch.

All set with the first phase.When they come out of their trance, they will have a real passion and love for one another, but of course, Connies sexual desire for Jeremy will be much stronger and she will be more passive when it comes to their relationship.This way Jeremy has the power to keep her in line.

The vampire then walked over to me.

I could simply make you believe that you no longer want to live.As a result, you would grow old and die, but where would the fun be in proving you right regarding our earlier discussion?

I stood there in silence.

So, what do I do?How about I make you my own personal sex slave?Based on your response a little while ago, you obviously enjoyed it.Im sure you would look hot crawling around on your hands and knees to me… begging me to make use of you.I could make it where you want it so much that your pretty little pussy would be perpetually creaming.

I stood there, envisioning life as this vampires sex slave and I could feel myself growing aroused from it.I knew he was putting the image there, but I responded anyway.My desire for this overwhelmed me and my intellect took a back seat.

Or I could provide you an opportunity to start over.Of course, the big advantage of starting over is grooming you to be much more compliant.Wouldnt you like that?

I wanted to shout no but I still stood there silent.

Yes Serena, youll be much more docile and passive around everybody… the way you should have been the first time around.This way your big mouth wont take away from that beauty of yours like it did tonight.

I looked at him, not wanting to understand where he was going with this.

Youve also been much to obsessed with one type of sex when a girl that looks like you should indulge in a whole variety.Of course, youll have to wait a spell before this happens.

Ill leave your memories alone - especially tonights because I wouldnt want you forgetting our time together… every thrust of it.

If I could have looked alarmed I would have, but I continued to stand still like a statue.I watched the vampire walk over to the boy and lead him over to me.I still wasnt sure exactly what he had in mind and felt fear when I heard him tell the boy to strip.Within seconds, the boy was completely naked.He had an erection and I wondered if he was going to force the boy to have sex with me.I tried moving, but still wasnt able until he instructed me to take the boys hand.I reached out my hand and did so.The kid must have still been in a trance because he didnt seem to notice that we were both completely naked - nor what he was doing.

Alright Serena - take twelve years from him.

The command stunned me, but there was no hesitation in my action.I just did it.I couldnt refuse because I was nothing more than a puppet, and the vampire held the strings.I performed the age transformation spell and within seconds the boy was no longer a boy.He was a man.In fact, a good looking man!He looked mid to late twenties and possessed a huge erection.I gasped at the sight of him and felt myself grow damp.I wanted him!Then it hit me!If the boy was a man - that made me...

Serena, you may look at yourself, but you cannot move your feet nor talk above a whisper.

I quickly looked down at my body and cried.What I saw shocked me.I was sixteen again!During every age regression I performed on myself, I never ever went below the age of 18.I now had some baby fat added to my curves and instead of being a beautiful adult I was sixteen year old.Yes, I was still great looking, but with enough baby fat to make me more cute than beautiful.I felt heavier in my ass and hips, and for good reason.I wanted to look behind me to check my ass out, but felt too embarrassed.My breasts shrunk but only a little due to the growth spell I had placed on them.I dropped maybe a cup.My face would obviously give proof to the fact that I was sixteen.Then another realization hit me.Good thing he didnt go back any further because if he had I would have lost my witchcraft.

I looked back at the boy – now a man.Our age difference was reversed and I wanted him!I looked down at his erection and the sexual desire flooding my body made me feel weak in the knees.Only if I could move!I wanted to be fucked by that big pole sticking straight out at me!

The vampire walked over to the girl and whispered something in her ear.She then proceeded to strip.My mind was racing.Why was he doing this?Did he want us to be a threesome?The girl was a doll and with every article of clothing she took off, I found myself feeling more and more aroused.Despite her young age... hell, we were physically the same age now.I wanted her… and wanted him… I wanted them both!If the vampire allowed it, I would have cried out with joy!

Alright Serena...what Ive done is give you a taste of what you will look like in about twelve years.Ive been kind enough to let you enjoy both sexes.Instead of a lesbian, Ive made you bisexual.Now, take twelve years from Connie.

NO!!!You cant do this to me!I shouted in a whisper, but again I was merely a passenger as my hand reached over and took a hold of Connies hand.She, like the boy, had no idea what was happening.I performed the age transformation spell, and within seconds, the girl was no longer a girl, but a woman.God, what she ever tall!She was a beauty as well.She even rivaled my previous form!Her breasts had grown from a B cup to a DD cup, and she had curves in all the right places!Her hair, which had been long to start with, grew down past her very rounded buttocks and WAIT!As much as I appreciated her very beautiful looks I realized I felt absolutely no arousal!

I felt absolutely nothing for this lady and then remembered why.I started to cry… really cry.I was a child.Actually more like a toddler.Four years old if that.No breasts!No patch of... nothing!Just a little toddler…

Why?Why make me little girl? I asked in my new high pitched voice.

I still maintained my intellect and my memories but my words came out like the little girl I looked like.

To teach you respect, little witch, and oh yeah - no more witchcraft.Not until you reach sixteen... almost twelve years from now.Tell me Serena, what do you want right now?

I want my mommy, I replied, sobbing.

Remember Serena - never engage in a debate with a vampire… especially one as old as me.

The vampire walked before the naked couple and stared at them for a few moments.He then knelt down in front of me and as I looked into his eyes - it became so clear.I could move again and I ran into my pretty mommys arms as she lifted me up.

Mommy, mommy! I screamed with happiness, loving as my pretty mommy hugged me tight.I heard her whisper… Yes, my precious Serena - what is it dear?

Can we go home, I sleepy... pleeeaassee, I replied.

Well – thats my story.Like I said, Im fifteen now and in nine months Ill be sixteen again.More importantly, Ill be a full fledged witch again.Unlike the last time, I remember a lot more about my childhood.As you kind of figured out, the vampire had turned Jeremy and Connie into my parents.They love each other - and as far as they are concerned, Im their first child.

My Mom and Dad are constantly making love.Its hard not to hear them with my mom being so loud.Theyve been at it ever since that special Halloween night.

I have six younger sisters and another one on the way.No brothers.I remember the vampire telling them to have ten children, so my Mom has two more pregnancies to go unless she has twins.

The vampire also did a few things to me.I have a passive personality.Its like I have this burning desire to please everyone and I feel weak during confrontations.Ive never been in an argument.Some of the boys in school have picked up on my submissive nature.I even found myself allowing a boy to grope my tits during in the movie theatre.I couldnt believe how horny I got.Not because he attracted me so much, but because I felt so damn helpless while he was doing it.Im hoping I turn sixteen before the boys start really taking advantage of me.

This leads me to tell you about Jason and Jessica.Theyre twins at my school and they turned fifteen last summer.They look older than they are and Im almost tempted to believe a witch or warlock got a hold of them.Im constantly thinking of them.Jason is really cute and Jessica is very pretty.Theyre going to be at the Halloween Party Im going to and I cant wait!

Like I said, childhood was a lot different this time around… much easier.Modern technology is a little like magic because it makes life easier.I also play soccer and that keeps me busy.Im pretty good at it and play the striker position.The coach calls me her secret weapon.I think she has lesbian tendencies because I catch her stealing glances at me.Shes attractive and I have a feeling if she tried to seduce me, there would be very little resistance on my part.I just hope Im sixteen before she tries.

My breasts have been getting bigger lately.Maybe Im not ready for a C cup but it should be soon.Of course, when Im sixteen, I can simply make my tits as big and shapely as I want them to be.Jessicas are already big.I stole a glance at her bra size in the girls locker room.She wears a ‘D cup.Its hard for me not to look at her when we take showers.

Lately, Ive been masturbating while fantasizing about the two of them.God, they make me so horny.Im really looking forward to getting my powers back.Right now, Im only a casual friend of Jessicas and Jason is too preoccupied with sports to recognize girls.But thats going to change.Love spells are the easiest type of spell and nine months from now theyll both be feeling the affects.

Hang on...

My Mom is calling me...Charmed is on.Dont you think Alyssa Milano is a hottie?Yes, I have a crush on her.Every time I watch the show I think of how kewl it is being the real life version of a witch.Maybe when I regain my witchcraft, Ill go visit the set of Charmed.

Oh... I havent seen Michael Lexington since that night.You remember him - the Vampire.Maybe one day Ill meet him again.God I hope so...

Talk to you later…

[hopperehxpxamqkz-blog]

Talking Point: What Are You Playing This Christmas? (Special Edition)

As regular readers will know, each Saturday we all get together to discuss our weekend gaming plans and see what our fellow community members are up to. This week is a little different, however, with many of us taking a little time away to celebrate the holidays and enjoy time with friends or family, or even taking some much-needed alone time for a bit of peace and quiet. As such, this week's 'What Are You Playing?' feature is dedicated to the holidays, all wrapped up in a super-special bumper edition. Feel free to read through the Nintendo Life team's entries, and then tell us about your own plans via the poll and comments below. Enjoy! Alex Olney, video producer Christmas eh? What's all that about? Well, for me it'll be mostly tucking into some lovely Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, but since it's that time of year when my family gets together, you can be sure I'll be making an exception for something. That something is the N64. It's not the first console I or my brother (Simon) owned, that honour goes to the SEGA Master System, but the N64 was what we primarily grew up with after Si won it in a competition in the Beano. I mean, I was the one told him that there were actually 30 Party Rings and not 29 like he thought, but it's not like I'm going to bang on about it on a public article or anything. So we'll be hooking up the old beast and no doubt playing the snot out of things like Mario Kart 64, and perhaps even something like Wetrix, all in gloriously bad 50Hz on a modern flatscreen with significant input lag on composite devices. What else says 'Christmas' more than that? Speaking of which, here's hoping you all have the most splendid times imaginable this season! Whatever you celebrate, whenever you celebrate it, make it a cracking one for me all right? Darren Calvert, operations director As Christmas is a time for spending with the family, Im sure Ill be having lots of games of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate with my munchkins aged 7 and 10. Theyve been practising tirelessly since it came out on the Switch earlier this month, so Im sure I will get beaten mercilessly as I resort to button-mashing to survive. When the wider family come over, Im sure well be having a few games of Super Mario Party to pass the time with the kids. Its a lot more fun than Monopoly anyway. Im hoping we can find time for lots of races together in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe also, Im quietly confident of holding my own in Mario Kart still. After a few laps of Sherbet Land well all be in the festive mood. Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas! Dom Reseigh-Lincoln, reviewer This Christmas I'll be taking a well-earned break, but that doesn't mean I won't be catching up or completing some of the games I've missed on Nintendo Switch. So I'll be finishing up Manticore: Galaxy on Fire, Attack on Titan 2 and Armello. I'll likely be returning to my two portable loves - Paladins and Warframe - while continuing to shoot hoops and grind for VC in NBA 2K19. I'm nothing if not productive. Merry Christmas, all! [embedded content]Gavin Lane, contributing writer Christmas used to be a time to sit down with something shiny and new, but now its my chance to flush the backlog and catch up with things I missed throughout the year Switch has made that list quite substantial in 2018! So, while Ill be dipping into Overcooked 2s free DLC with the family, Ill hopefully get to chill the beans with Firewatch and ABZU once everyone is snoozing after overindulging on mince pies. Im also determined to start Wolfenstein II so I can polish off those spoiler-filled GOTY podcasts that have been languishing unplayed on my phone since 2017 before tucking into this years editions! Have a great one everybody! Glen Fox, guides editor So I haven't had much chance to play my Switch the past few months, as I've been an absolute heathen and have been mildly addicted to Black Ops 4, Elder Scrolls Online, and Guild Wars 2. I'm going away for Christmas though, so will have my trusty Switch to keep me company. I've missed a couple of gems that I'd like to dig into, like Pokmon: Let's Go, Warframe, and Hollow Knight. No, I simply don't like Smash Bros. so I won't be playing that it's just the way it is. No doubt I'll double-dip into Splatoon 2 and stuff like that too. This is also my last one of these as I'm leaving Nintendo Life in January to pursue a different line of work. I'd like to say a huge thank you to the supportive and lovely staff, and to the readers who make this site and community as awesome as it is. It's been a pleasure writing for you all and I'm sure you'll see my name crop up occasionally as freelance. Merry Christmas and a happy new year! [embedded content]Gonalo Lopes, contributing writer As 2018 comes to an end, you will find me doing the most clich possible Nintendo thing one would expect: plugging in my SNES Classic and enjoying some sweet retro-gaming sessions for the holidays. The Super Nintendo reminds me of simpler times, exquisite memories, family and friends who are no longer among us. I honour all of those with a big smile from ear to ear you will rarely find among adults nowadays, caused by such simple pleasures as completing The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, finishing F-Zero on Master difficulty, enjoying the soundtrack in Secret of Mana, turning Dracula do dust in Super Castlevania IV or just replaying the ice levels of Donkey Kong Country over and over again. Oh yes, I will also re-watch Die Hard between SNES gaming sessions! Maybe this time Hans gets away with it... This was yet another incredible year as part of the Nintendo Life crew, one I could never have imagined in my wildest optimistic expectations. I do not know what the future holds in 2019 (hopefully a new F-Zero to go along with Metroid Prime 4), so allow me to take this opportunity to wish YOU, fellow gamer reading these humble words: Happy Holidays, tons of awesome video games, and all the joys this life has to offer. Liam Doolan, news reporter This Christmas I intend to play a lot of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and Pokmon: Lets Go, Pikachu!. When I'm not in either of these games, Ill be attempting to wrap up multiple other titles before 2018 comes to an end. This includes Diablo III: Eternal Collection, Katamari Damacy Reroll and my most recent eShop purchase, Shantae: Half-Genie Hero. As none of these games are actually Christmas-themed, Ill have to go elsewhere for my appropriately-themed fix. Maybe Rocket Leagues Frosty Fest will be able to help me out. Else Ill build a snowman in Minecraft. [embedded content]Ryan Craddock, staff writer As horrifying as the concept sounds, I'll likely be spending the majority of my Christmas break away from games for once - even working here at the Nintendo Life Factory of Dreams and Magic can take its toll after a while. Having said that, I have been working towards unlocking as many Super Smash Bros. Ultimate characters as possible for any potential games with family when I go to visit, so I doubt my gaming break will last for long. Similarly, I've already planned to pack Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Super Mario Party, and maybe even Pokmon, Let's Go, Eevee! for the odd multiplayer session (or in Pokmon's case, just to show off my collection). Now that I think about it, it doesn't sound like I'm having a break from gaming at all, does it? Ah well... Happy holidays, everyone! Steve Bowling, US editor The holiday means we have a long break ahead and things will be a little quieter than usual. For me, that means it's time to sink my teeth into some of the Switch's more time-consuming games. Over the holiday I'll be playing Octopath Traveler and Valkyria Chronicles 4. I've been curious about Octopath since its reveal and have somehow managed to remain spoiler free so far, but I have a feeling I'll be working on both of these games well into the new year. Which games are you playing over Christmas? (883 votes)Super Smash Bros. Ultimate24% Super Mario Party5% Mario Kart 8 Deluxe9% Manticore: Galaxy on Fire 0% Attack on Titan 2 0% Armello 0% Paladins 0% Warframe2% NBA 2K19 0% Overcooked 22% Firewatch1% ABZU 0% Wolfenstein II1% Pokmon: Let's Go, Pikachu! and Let's Go, Eevee!8% Hollow Knight3% Splatoon 25% The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past2% Secret of Mana1% Super Castlevania IV1% Donkey Kong Country2% Diablo III: Eternal Collection6% Katamari Damacy Reroll2% Shantae: Half-Genie Hero1% Rocket League2% Minecraft1% Octopath Traveler5% Valkyria Chronicles 42% Something else (comment below)14% Please login to vote in this poll. As always, thanks for reading! Make sure to leave a vote in the poll above and a comment below with your gaming choices over the holidays. Whatever you plan to do this year, we hope you have a wonderful time!

[thebrightestringaroundthemoon]

anyway time to use this blog for what i created it for i guess and type out a big long thing about how im a worthless piece of shit and should pour myself a nice big glass of creamer, sugar, and clorox. i literally serve like? no purpose? in life? at all? im a completely directionless failure that operates with about the complexity of a fucking roomba, running into the same goddamn couch over and over again and slightly redirecting. if i get lucky, i run into a different couch, but nothing fucking changes. i do the exact same thing over and over again: surround myself with wonderful, fantastic people, fuck it up and make them hate me, and then spiral into a pit of my own pointless fucking despair until i realize im such a fucking failure of a person i cant even muster the energy it takes to fucking die so i just get up again in the morning and go again. rinse and fucking repeat. and its not like i have some horrible life or anything, im just profoundly unfit to exist on this planet. i have wonderful friends who actually, honest to god care about me and its evidently not good enough for me?? so i just respond to everything by assuming the worst, spiralling, and being too much of a dumb bitch to fucking talk to A N Y B O D Y about A N Y T H I N G cuz i guess i’d rather make a dumb edgy tumblr blog named after the lyrics to a fucking asia song than actually solve any of my problems. i guess its too much to solve a problem when the fundamental core of who you are as a person is the fucking problem. i mean, there is a solution, but ive already covered why nobody needs to be worried about me doing that! bnobody needs to be worried about me doing anytuhing! accomplishing anything! ever becoming anything! ever managing to do much more than drag myself out of bed in the morning and inspire a profoundly sad mixture of pity and annoyance in everyone iv’e ever come into fucking contact with! im sitting here debating fixing the fucking apostrophe in the last sentence and its driving me fucking mad while real people have real fucking problems and my cardboard cutout ass bad edgy teen novel stupid bitch excuse for a person ass is sitting here doing THIS with my fucking time. I have things i shuold be doing, could be doing, but this is legitimately all i can bring myself to fucking contribute to society at this point. the surest sign that the people around me are fucking saints is that theyve stuck around this fucking long but honestly i dont fucking undeerstand. i guess thats the whole point of shit like saints, you arent supposed to be able to understand, its superhuman compassion, even for those who dont fucking deserve it. or maybe its just because i fundamentally dont work. i dont have any sort of actual power when it comes to my life. these are the idle musings of a bewildered spectator, the one person who comes to the party, stays sober, and sits on the sidelines and watches the fucking idiocy unfold. except instead of drunkenly stumbling around and telling my friends how much i love them, im stone cold sober and sitting on the sidelines watching myself fail to take even the most basic fucking steps towards fixing literally any problem that im dealing with. broken. non functional. i dunno if i was born a failure, though. i think that might be giving myself a little too much credit. other people were dealt infinitely worse hands than i was and they turned out fucking wonderful. i know a couple of them. no, i think im the way i am because of me. i probably had all the chances i needed to become something resembling a human being, and instead im whatever i am now. how can i be excited about some sort of future for myself when i can barely manage a relatively privliged day to day existance? i have friends, im not starving, im in college, i have an apartment. im far from rich but im able to afford to go to college. that should be enough. why the fuck isnt that enmough. why cant i just be fucking satisfied why cant i muster some sort of positive fucking emotions why does joy last a few moments why can i do this so much easier than writing anything positive about my life why does this flow like it does like a fucking river why cant i stop my hands why why what the fuck why why am i like this why was i born why am i who i am it flows so easily it just comes out but i cant tell anyone and i cant rely on anyone because im not anyone in noone im the fucking nobody that people keep around them to make themselves feel better and the only reason i have the slightest bit of doubt about that is that i love my friends too much to ever accuse them of something like that but then again does it fucking count when its someone like me do i qualify as a fucking person does it count as hurting someone’s feelings or using them when that someone isn’t a someone is just an empty fucking shell that was only gifted with the capacity to retain HURT thats all i can fucking remember thats all that sticks with me HURT i cant fucking be rid of it and its not some sort of innate inherent biological failing its who i am as a person i did this to myself i do this to myself i dont know that i will ever stop doing this to myself. all i can hope for is that one day i gain the strrength the fucking self esteem and self respect to kill myself. maybe it isnt self respect i need for that but respect for my friends. its selfish to put them through me. the pain they’d feel from my death would last a short time if at all. it would be so much better than forcing them to know me for however long this failing fucking body will carry my empty shell of a spirit onwards thjrough a world that i dont deserve to fucking inhabit. my inner monologyue put on paper sounds like a fucking evanescence song and i hate myself for it so much jesus fucking christ. i fundamentally do not like myself. as a person. on any level. i do not like myself. i wouldnt be friends with me, and ironically i hate myself for that too. but who would? who the fuck would? why does anyone? do they? maybe thats my one fucking talent. convincing people im likable. worming my way into their fucking lives until they trust me only to realize that i am not a human being. im an empty shell, a fucking roomba of a person. i can tell when ive run into something and back up so i can run into it again. i cannot solve my own problems. i cannot even conceptualize them. im something below a human cursed with the fucking ability to think at the level of one. my ocd is really really desperately trying to get me to scroll up and fix all the spelling and grammar errors but i dont know if itll hurt more to ignore them or to have to read the dumb ashit i just wrote. earlier i said that i wanted this to flow less easily and here we are i guess. though earlier i meant it in the context of only being able to properly conceptualize negative feelings and never being abkle to hold onto anything piositive i feel, and that hasn’t been magically fixed or anything, im just having trouble feeling anything at all now. im a completely blank slate. i havent even cried once troday. i cant. i cant care about my own fucking inadequacy and failure as a very basic human being enough to even fucking cry. i cried about an anime a couple nuights ago. i can muster emotion for that. but as soon as i look inwards i dont see ahyuthing thEres NOTHING FUICKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM BROKEN I AM EMPTY I AM A {PLAGUE ON WHOEVER HAS THE PURE FUCKING MISFORTUNE TO BE A GOOD ENOUGH PERSON TO TAKE PITY ON ME i dont want to die, even. too many steps, too much feeling, too much. i just want to stop. to end. i want to no longer be. ill lock tghat away with all the other things id love to happen but know never will. that ones at the forefront though. it always will be. until i grow the fucking compassion to put others out of my misery. my roomate just texted me an innocuous questiona nd i texte d bacjk normally emojis and all im normal dont you see everyone im normal nothings wrong with me. oh sure sometimes i have a bad day but im fine everybody IM FINE you aren’t you have to put up with me ill fucking worm my way into your life and convince you im a real human being you can hold a congersation with only to snatch the fucking rug out from under you as soon as you actually attempt to engage with me on any level and i just end up eiother hurting you or revealing accidently that there is no such thing as luna thats not a fucking person its a name assigned to a loose collections of disorders, bad habits, and a gaping emotional black hoile from which nothing can fucking escape, jammed into an ugly broken body thats going to kill me early and doesnt even compensate by making me hot. wHEE. and of course, unable to be happy with anything, i will simultaneously complain about my own impending death due to horrific nutrition, subastance abuse (just the fun kinds so people dont realize anything is wrong WHEEEE) and some fucky illness that ive now gone and stopped medicating because im a stupid worthless bitch, AND I WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS WHILE SIMULATENOUSLY WANTING TO DIE what do i want? who the fuck knows! not me! that’s a redundant statement, of course “me” doing know bercause thats not a thing im not a person! id love to blame it on my complete and total internal faliure as a person that i always end up hurting people, but honestly its probably because i dont put enough fucking effort in. even right now,. literally hours after a good friend of mine ostaroted feeling like shit in a way that is almost for sure my fucking fault, im doing THIS instead of trying to right the situation (to b fair she made a point of not inviting me but inviting the rest of the group?) or did she am i just reading into this? who knows! who the fuck knows! everyone but “me”! ejveryone else knows! becayuse its probably REALALLY FUCKING SIMPLE BUT NOOOOO I CANT EVEN MANAGE THAT CAN I I CANNNOT EVEN FUCKING MANMAGE TO MANAGE THAT CAN I thats too much for lil ol me! i am aggressively pointless! i am the single least important collection of fucking atoms on this planet! every last fucking rock i stepped on walking to and from the class that i skipped half of today is more important and has contribtued more to the grand scheme of things than i ever have or ever will, and thats jkust the inanimate fucking objects on the ground. lets not even get started on all the actual people whose time my existance waste, who i am a fucking affront to  by sheer virtue of being in any way associated with them at any point in time ever. i guess this is it, this is what i get when my entire personlaity is a loosely cobbled together collection of self deprecating jokes and a fake ego, desperately attempting to patch over an interior that has holes in it less than it just is one giant fucking hole. i was, am, and will be nothing, not even enough to earn the use of “I” at the beginning of the sentence. dinner is in 15 minutes. my friends will be there. im paralyzed. i belive every word i wrote above so why

would i inflict myself upon them but i 

i cant not

i so deeply want to

to go sit in uncharacteristic silence and hope somebnody notices and asks me whats up so i can give them a dumb, abridged, mostly fake version and get the sad pity looks and then feel bad about exploiting them and then

rinse

repeat

because i am not a person

[haeroniel-doliet]

i need more money to buy little art

honestly tho feeling like for that ideal goal existence i’ll try get to someday, i’ll needa be making proper money comfortable and good so i can spend all i like on society 6 and other to buy shirts and bags and just everything to a house all in different art prints (mostly florals) bc just those pictures are  like everything i want but just so expensive. i’m trying to sum down like 10 to stickers, bc i wanna do up my laptop, but dedicating to a single decal (thats like 25 ON SALE) is too much esp since i love so much. so ive kinda decided to get a hard cover for the laptop just in case i break it, and just in case i do break my laptop that i can keep the stickers on the hard case and dont lose them to replaced parts. idk seems smart. ill probs buy a kinda shady cover off of ebay for 5 or 6 pound and then spend 20 on stickers for it :] since theyre on sale till 8 am today and its 3 am im probs just gonna settle and order them. might order cover tomorrow w my dad bc i need trust assurance. hes not all on board on the stickers so im just gonna go for it. theyre gonna be like my post cards. i buy so many every place. and no. not trashy postcards. i want art. i have so many postcards of paintings in galleries and so many from comic con art valleys (guess who wants to get so much more and 100% will) i love original art the most when its pretty to me and like everyone who sees it. simples okay but i prefer soft and detailed. excited now i can go to con and also be looking for stickers bc maybe ill get a few cool ones that wont cost me as much as the society 6 ones do. and then my laptop can replicate my walls, displaying all the art ive loved that ive been able to take with me (bc theres so much i obviously dont have on my walls) anyway im looking at these and making some small bc i suddenly realise this laptops got realestate. and the saddest thing w stickers (literally why i had one of those waxy paged sticker books as a child) is that i cant dedicate stickers to a single spot. its so much dedication. what if i buy a bigger sticker and it wont fit? what if i get the perfect sticker for that spot and it wont fit? (over lap i guess) how can i be sure i put them in the right spots to start with? augh i dont really wanna cover just half of it and obviously leave space bc that puts pressure on finding stickers and i might get ones i dont love. i cant get sick of any one bc itll be there  (joy of having multiple mean theres less getting sick of anything). anyway i think im happy w the sizes of these 10 stickers and can work w them (also for now i think im just gonna be going around the edges and leaving the apple logo as it is, esp bc it glows and theres already this shitty old smiley face sticker from my old psych teacher and i kinda dont wanna get rid of it, i just wanna add things around it so it doesnt look so: clean (actually dirty) laptop that a child marked as their own) 

anyway society 6 has random discounts all the time which is p rad and maybe the day im ready to invest in my own living space and dont feel obliged to check w my parents about just about any purchase, i’ll then subscribe to something thatll tell me what discount is on. that in mind, i think i’ll only get the 9 now, that hopefully wont cost too much, and leave a bunch in my wishlist, bc there’ll be another discount (this is 20% off everything)  and maybe that’ll be like 50% off stickers and boy then when my collection is underway you bet ill go for it. and like maxx sticks on their sketch book, if i dedicate to a new book maybe ill get more for that and have a pretty thing to keep and reminisce over (tho knowing me, ill not use it much bc i have a need for pretty things to stay perfect and presentable, and i have a need for everything that i might show to others to be like near perfect otherwise its sucks and ill feel bad bc i dont wanna show it off to people. like my art book, sure i couldve made it all experimental and crap and then edited the real pages together on the computer. but no. i needed everypage to be presentable and pretty and handwritten and creative. and they must go page after page, its so awkward showing someone something and then going “oh wait now these few are empty sorry yeah heres the next page” so i baasically have  a book with mhmmm 20-26 pages of beautiful spreads that im quite proud of inside beautiful covers ( i knew id want to be presenting it for years to come) and the back pages are just...empty. and theyll probably stay that way bc i no longer have projects to be doing to fill them with. maybe one day ill grow into myself and grow out the fear of ruining what ive achieved and fill some with new projects to please myself and be an indepenednt artist not just a teacher pleaser. you know its like that with my work too, like it has to have a direction and a plan that will be achieved, and its terribly frustrating when that vision doesnt happen. but i think thats the same with everyone. 

anyway on a side note, dont you guys think its so fun and cool how ive not done my post labs that were due last friday? how every night ends up being 3-4 am until i go... mhmmmm yeah i guess nothing is happening. like i hope id bloom and do work at that 11pm-3am window and then i get here, suddenly having lost all track and sense of time and just sigh. its wasted, its basically tuesday already. have to keep telling myself dates bc it moves so weird. i planned on getting shit done two days ago. here we are regardless. and the most ill get done is get those stickers ordered bc that is i guess what ive been half focused on for mhmmm5 hrs. then ill save my 7 dollars or whatever, have stickers on the way, tomorrow order the case and thats one insignificant thing done. then the question will be have i looked at summer jobs? no of course not ive looked at ballet courses. shush. i havent showered for days bc theyve just slipped by too laying in bed, maybe tomorrow ill take a shower and pick up all the trash and tissues on the ground. maybe i will. i know i wont get real work done tonight, and already ill be sleepy till 1 pm and by then mom will be again on me abt sleeping to latesoo... yeah no point. and here i thought id make a quick totes relatable short post about how i need more money to buy stickers and maybe a brief my ideal life is to have enough money to spend on art being in every part of my life and all this  being unique so people love coming to my house and go wow its so original and cool. and that turned into a word vent thats so far taken me over half an hour. hi my batterys dying. 

lng story short, i’ll order the stickers currently in my basket after so much though, suck it up and do it and know that i have a bunch over in my wishlist for that next maybe even better sale when it happens. the only thing is im taking all the rest as transparent which for sure dulls them down (yeah white background looks sick but for some its just more classy w transparent, then theres this one bear i’m 100% naming wojtek thats in white bc i feel it’ll be best for him, and i guess having him in white will set that theres no clear rules to follow and worst case if it doesnt fit he can come chill on the keyboard side next to my mouse pad thing) honestly i cant tell if i should be getting them all in white and just hope that theyll look gorgeous no matter what. yikes 3 dollar shipping for stickers, ok itll actually be 19.62 pound and using euro card 22.50 in  euros.... am i dumb? maybe. and tho im supposed to be saving money up so i have some, i also did get birthday money sorta recently soo... birthday gift from them. first set of stickers. deep breaths ok. my parents told me when i bugged them that i just have to make a decision and not ask them all the time, and he said to get 3 stickers i told him id pick 12 so i think getting 9 is reasonable. also oh shit realising that the delivery time is 1-3 weeks and im staying here only 1 and a half more so i should really order it to scotland even tho it might get ther ebefore i do bc my parents might not rly want to send them up to me. idk ok order to scotland, thank f at least one of my flat mates is staying and tbh i should really bring her some chocolate... shes done me faavours. 

#another thought trail rant #this time on buying art in form of post cards and now stickers for the first time and being unsure about everything #when am i sure tho