#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

[blairaptor]

Crosshair and Echo acting like me with my brother

#the bad batch #tbb echo #tbb crosshair #arc trooper echo #crosshair #my art #i kept messing with this but i need to catch just-post-it disease because i need to just post things aaaa #i like starting in my sketchbook because it has a messy and lively quality #so i have to stop myself from “cleaning” the drawing until it's stiff #anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk #this was a fun drawing fr :)

[that-really-dungeons-my-dragons]

I can not explain how obsessed I am with Chip's first subclass feature being Fancy Footwork and how it ties into his character. I've talked about it before, but just...

It fits him so well. He's a character who survives by compartmentalizing a lot. If something is hard to deal with, or inconvenient, or scary to him, he just puts it in a box and leaves it there. He evades. He avoids.

The reality of his appearance now as an undead? Don't want to think about that too seriously. Stick a magic bandana on that shit and cover it up!

The likelihood of Arlin being either dead or Worse? He literally can't process that thought. Stick it in a box and bury it with false optimism and hope that even he's not sure he really believes.

Accidental marriage he doesn't want to be a part of? He will be faking his death and fleeing and then denying it being real at every opportunity.

Best friend gives him the best kiss of his life? He will be shutting down any subsequent attempt to talk about it and pretending it never happened, thank you!

Like this is just a handful of examples, there are many more. He has to be really pushed, either by other characters or the circumstances, to confront things like this. So the concept of his go-to move being about getting out of Situations like that is just so... it fits him. Like yeah, that's Chip. I want to tear my own hair out at how well he's been crafted to blend his mechanics with his roleplay flavor.

#jrwi riptide #chip jrwi #as the resident rules lawyer i am obsessed with the way more roleplay oriented players manage to make their class choices inform their rp #it's something i am not as strong at so i notice when people are good at it because i am Studying how they pull it off #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

[haventacluewhatimdoing]

Okay, okay, so hear me out: asexual Wilson.

He's not repulsed by sex, clearly, as seen in canon. But is he ever ACTUALLY sexually attracted to someone? From what we can tell (and what House keeps pushing), Wilson accidentally falls into relationships with people he has some form of emotional connection with. And then the sex follows, because that's what you do in a relationship, right?

Bonnie said that he was an amazing partner in bed because he always pleased the other person. Now, this could just be a continuation of Wilson's 'I would give a kidney to a stranger' level of people-pleasing, but I think it's more than that. I think that, while he doesn't MIND having sex, he mainly does it to please his partner, rather than from any attraction to them himself.

And I think that's why he has so many affairs as well. Because he sees someone, has some emotional connection with them, and goes 'well this must be that sexual attraction that everyone is talking about'. And he thinks that maybe THIS time, he will get something out of it too, because it's got to happen eventually. Doesn't it?

And then I think this all comes to a head in that episode with the asexual couple (which I am still seething about btw). He reads an article on asexuality. Then another. Then he searches for every single blog post, article, tweet, ANYTHING, on asexuality, because 'hey, isn't that just what everyone feels like though?'. He discovers the difference between aethestic, sensual and sexual attraction, and that asexual people may still have sex, and...

Oh. Oh shit. He's asexual.

#cue the 'house will fucking ridicule me so i must keep this secret' #and then house finding out #and i would hope and pray that house wouldn't be a dick about it #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #house md #james wilson #asexual #asexuality #i need to write this up into a proper fic

[bitchthefuck1]

Six of Crows fans start treating Kaz's cane like a mobility aid and not a quirky accessory challenge

#why are you as a person making 'au where Kaz's cane is [insert item that can't support a person's weight or help them walk]' posts in the #year of our lord 2023 #also 'omg au where/what if kaz [insert scenario that ignores the fact that Kaz has a physical disability]' posts #it's not cute its not funny #this was inspired by one specific post i saw recently (not going to elaborate bc it feels mean spirited) but its been a problem basically #since the books came out #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #six of crows #soc #kaz brekker #shadow and bone

[multi-fandom-bi]

I have to go on a rant here for a second.

I think we all know that "I would have come for you" speech that Kaz gives to Inej in Crooked Kingdom, right?

Except, that isn't the quote.

The actual quote says "I would come for you" and the only reason everyone remebers the "would have come for you" is because Freddy read it wrong when he read it on his IG story.

The problem with this is that the way Freddy said the quote changes the original meaning.

The original meaning to the quote is that Kaz said that he "would come for her" meaning that he would always come for her. Meaning he would also come for her in the future, in a way (a very Kaz-way) trying to reasure Inej that even in the future he would be there by her side.

Now, the way Freddy read it is "I would have come for you" saying that Kaz would have come for her then, but not promising to do so in the future, not giving her any reasurence that he would be by her side.

In the original meaning Kaz is, in a way, laying down a piece of armour (albeit a small one) by saying that he would be there for her in the future, if she would let him. This meaning feels more personal, it gives the feeling that he said the whole speech with a hand on his hard, an oath of sorts.

In the quote that Freddy said, Kaz's whole speech is feeling like he is saying "I would do this only this time because you are needed in my scheme". It just doesn't make it sound as reasuring. From a grammar stand point this second speech feels more robotic more like "a thing I need to do" speech.

In case some of you need evidence that Freddy read the whole thing wrong, here you go:

#creds to @hopechulka on tiktok for pointing this out #what i said in this post is mainly taken from her video so please check it! #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #leigh bardugo #shadow and bone tv series #six of crows #grishaverse #six of crows duology #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej

[kingofanemptyworld]

Rin, identity issues, and the complications of being an isolated, alienated teenager

It feels sort of weird to say but I generally don’t head canon characters as having particular sexualities. Whatever people go for in fics is usually fine with me - gay, lesbian, bi, pan, something more general like queer. As long as it makes sense for the story they’ve built and the character they’ve shaped to fit it, I’m good. Unless you’re ignoring a canon LGBTQ+ sexuality, in which case, yeah, I’ll take issue with that.

But anyway. Rin.

I’ve got my personal ship for him (BonRin my beloved), but regardless of the pairing I see him as bisexual. He’s so open with his infatuation with Shiemi, and okay, sure, fandom likes to ignore the love interest in shounen for the most part because we’ve got gay ships to peddle. But I don’t see the point in that unless it really reads like it’s a front, or a result of a character suppressing themselves for one reason or another. And with Rin, I think it’s pretty clear his affection for Shiemi is sincere. You technically have the in-universe evidence of the demon that brought out his true desires to back that up, but even without it, Rin likes her. It’s complicated because of Yukio and Shiemi’s own inexperience with romance, and yet I never once doubt he really likes her.

That being said… he’s very appreciative of the guys in his life, too. (Peddling my gay ship here) Bon in particular, considering he’s often admiring how cool he thinks Bon is, that his haircut suits him whether it’s the blonde rooster look or the undercut. If you don’t want to see it as romantic interest, that’s your prerogative, but to me Rin comes across as seeing cool and cute as different traits he finds attractive (in Bon and Shiemi respectively).

I also think his bisexuality would fit neatly into his narrative struggles to “pass” throughout the early parts of the series. Rin has grown up as the neighborhood problem child, ostracized for being violent, and eventually he decides he’s fine with just his brother and his father — and the rest of the monastery, presumably — for company. (Except that’s absolutely not true and clearly he’s starved for friendship and support.) People looked at him and saw a monster, even before his demonic heritage made an appearance; why would he bother giving them even more ammunition when it comes to reasons to hate him? So no matter when he figured out his attraction to guys, he’s not going to lean into it, because he also likes girls, right? (Ignoring for a moment that bisexuality is a lot more nuanced than that.)

Rin likes girls, Rin is human — that’s what’s going to get people to like him, or at the very least tolerate him. That he likes guys, that he’s half demon, he can shove that shit down and pretend it doesn’t exist. Lock up any stray thoughts and keep the sword sheathed around anyone who doesn’t already know.

(Excuse me for being amused by Rin wielding his humanity and supposed heterosexuality as a sword and shield.)

The problem, of course, is that he can’t keep up the facade forever. The narrative won’t let him. Rin has to embrace his demonic side, because it’s the only way to move forward and to continue to help his loved ones. And once he’s moved past the issue of his friends being upset over the deception, when they understand he’s still Rin despite what he’d hidden from them, Rin is finally allowed to be himself. He uses his flames, he lets his tail move freely in the open around the Cram School kids. Rin still doesn’t like this side of himself — it’s inextricably tied to every moment of pain and isolation he’s dealt with his entire life, including the death of Father Fujimoto (and, y’know, his mom). But he is moving forward, he’s trying to adapt.

And isn’t that some great fucking subtext for his bisexuality, too?

#king’s court #blue exorcist #ao no exorcist #okumura rin #rin okumura #bonrin #because I love them #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #I probably made more sense in my head than I did writing everything out #but oh well #there’s a similar conversation to be had about yukio and his suppression/obsession that develops #but I am not qualified for that one #also I promised myself when I made this blog that I’d try to be engaged with the fandoms I got into #because the one I’d sunk a lot of time and effort into on my main no long brings me much joy and I miss interacting with people #so. uh. here I am I guess #god this is probably less compelling than my season 2 analysis of bnha seven years after it aired

[don1t1red]

I know that this is a very unpopular opinion but hear me out!

I think not enough people consider Corvo as an unreliable narrator. We see the story from his point of view and all we know about Jessamine Kaldwin comes from his perspective. So, to think on that, do we really know how good Jessamine was as the Empress? 

I know that she is usually portrayed as a good person if not a saint but what if it wasn't that way? A lot of people in the streets are indifferent towards her image, if not hostile; the situation with Delilah; how both Geoff Curnow and Corvo are treated because of their nationality; two hatters recalling how greatly Corvo dealt with workers uprising under her command  – a lot of things are a tell-tale signs that something is not quite right. 

And at this point I have to clarify that I'm not saying things like "boo no I hate Jessamine". No, it's actually quite the opposite, I love her character. But the way it is usually portrayed seems to be so dull and static. Let her not be a saint. 

Let her be manipulative. Let her tell Corvo that "he is not like other serkonans, he is sooo special and that's why he is where he is and not somewhere deep in the silver mine", while being (just as any nobility in Gristol) not very welcome to any outlanders. 

Let her be power-hungry and afraid to lose this power. Remember a bonecharm in her hidden room in the Tower? Who knows how it ended up here! Maybe she knew (or felt) that Delilah was coming, capable of overpowering and taking everything from her. Maybe Jessamine was so afraid to lose her posh life that she was ready to use some kind of a black magic! 

Let her be disloyal. Obviously, she and Corvo developed some kind of codependency. But along with that, she was the Empress so who could stop her from having an affair or two? And Corvo was just the safest option, with a way less unnecessary risks and questions. 

Let her be an imperfect person. 

Obviously, Jessamine could be easily born a perfect ruler and a perfect loving woman for her chosen one and her daughter. But maybe she had to learn it the hard way. 

Maybe she changed along with Corvo. Maybe the plague was a critical point for her character, maybe those months without Corvo made her rethink a lot of things. 

And isn't it tragic, finally understanding and becoming the Empress everyone wants to see in you, just to be killed the other day, because all those changes have been seen as a weakness? Have nothing but faith in your closest one, faith that these people will be more wise than she was? 

Give her some development, give her some motion! She could easily  be a saint, static point.  But in my opinion, she deserves to be not perfect but in constant motion. Trying and learning, understanding and making mistakes. She was too young when she became the Empress, she was a part of gristolian nobility, not so kind to anyone but themselves, she literally had no prerequisites to become a good person. And yet somehow she did. 

It's always so easy to be a "saint" from the very beginning. And it's always so hard to learn how to become one.

#dishonored #jessamine kaldwin #imo all women deserve to be evil #(as a treat) #and esp disho women #ngl i kinda feel as a great part of Emily criticism could be applied to Jess as well #which doesnt make either of them a bad character #just as a fact #oh and also - while im still there - its not a bad thing to write Dauds development as a reaction to her death #but i feel like it was rather a reaction to the *changes* that her death triggered #i understand that she is a “woman in the refrigerator” trope in canon but we all are better than this #so again imo but it would be better to concentrate Dauds character growth aroud those changes and leave this poor woman alone #i really want to write a separate post about him rn lol #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #dt (stands for doni talks)

[sleepyistinky]

Hey guys I also made the other batfam members I'm still working on making Duke and Bruce (crossing my fingers I'm able to make Selina and Alfred too) but I'm so happy with how they came out (esp Steph and Damian)

#dc comics #dc universe #dcu #jason todd #batfam #batman #damian wayne #damian al ghul #dick grayson #richard grayson #richard dick grayson #robin #nightwing #cassandra cain #orphan #black bat #stephanie brown #spoiler #timothy drake #tim drake #red robin #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #agent a #duke thomas #i love you duke thomas they could never make me hate you #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #what yall think? #are the fits fire? #hip as the youngins say? (im the youngins in question)

[saturnskyline]

bl people i desire carnally 💖

tagged by @loveable-sea-lemon and @sandrayy !! thanks for encouraging me to thirst on main (more than usual that is jfklsdfjd)

vegas (kinnporsche)

this gif is incredibly innocent looking but to be clear, i am just as attracted to him (if not more) when he is covered in blood <3 anyway starting this list off strong with my moral compass compromised by sexy lol. i have no excuses. let's carry on

tiffy (lovely writer)

ended the career of every bike-riding bisexual ever. her impact is unmatched, her beauty is unparalleled, and i am frankly not above groveling at her feet. we stan tiffy in this house

payu/phayu/wouldn't you like to know weather boy (love in the air)

honestly screw this guy. SCREW THIS GUY. even just making this post i fell down this most ridiculous rabbit hole of gifs bc he's literally too hot. bisexual menace get thee HENCE

tay (kinnporsche)

YOU'RE MY ANGEL BABYYY BABY YOU'RE MY ANGEL.... ahem. that is to say, tay my love, i would cherish you beyond belief. give me a chance i beg just one chance break up with your boyfriend i'm bored-

ink (bad buddy)

i mean look at her. "it's so gainful" changed my brain chemistry. what do you even say. simp is not a strong enough word to describe the feelings i have for her like. ma'am i would ride into battle for you just say the word

win (between us)

every second he was onscreen i was consumed with rage at the sheer attractiveness that this man has. mind you he is a main character so that's a lot of rage.... but yeah 👍 so glad to have found this gif specifically bc wow what a moment. bless boun noppanut 4ever

miw (3 will be free)

need her to roll her eyes at me. actually, i need her to stomp on me but the eye rolling is a good start sdfkjlsdfjs. angel darling queen of my life etc. etc. etc. (also pretty please let me join your polycule pleaseeee)

big (kinnporsche)

can't put too many kinnporsche characters on this list i'm ngl :') and i couldn't NOT include big like come on. he is the most babygirl ever. his angst levels and his beautiful hair have captivated me.... you get the point. justice for big

tagging @xxhappy-chickenxx @negrowhat @porschesbabydaddy @peachym00 @a-slut-for-vegaspete and anyone else that might want to do this! feel free to ignore this if you're not interested or you've already been tagged :)

#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #sincerely an unhinged bisexual #tag game

[disc0bandit]

Saw someone complaining about how so many people are shipping Dream with Hob when in canon they spend so little time together

Here's what I've got in my little pea brain:

By comparison there's a lot more in canon for other ships. DreamxCorinthian has a lot of good material, like a lot of actual stuff there about their relationship to each other. So does DreamxLucienne, So does DreamxLucifer. Not even gonna mention all the canon relationships Dream has.

What's different with Hob is that the actual relationship (whatever you infer that to be when you're watching the netflix version) doesn't start until after the end of the episode. It ends with Dream admitting that whatever this is can be friendship. They're not even friends yet. Hob OFFERS to be friends and Dream deciding to accept that offer is the end of the episode (we're not discussing the comics rn)

Everything before that is little snippets that could have so much story between them. Anything could happen.

So my diagnosis is that the suggestion of the amount of stories that could be there is the reason why so many people are writing those stories.

That episode is a collection of prompts in the shape of a meet-cute.

Of fucking course it spawned a ship. It's kinda asking to be elaborated upon

#that and they have chemistry #dreamling #dream x hob #dreamling meta #hob gadling #idk if i'm wrong feel free to tell me just don't be mean #or i'm stating the obvious #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

[piercethenix]

random little ramble but i absolutely love how tlou potrays ellies ptsd. as someone whos diagnosed with ptsd i think they did an amazing job showing what its really like. the way the stairs seemed never ending and how joel was screaming her name when he never actually did and her not being able to break down the door. the way something as small as a shovel falling or door slamming or pig squealing triggers flashbacks. and how in her attacks everything starts getting muffled but her heartbeat amplifies and ears ring. its truly a horrible thing to live with so i always appreciate when i see it potrayed really well in media. i wish we got more of it but i think the scenes in the lost levels make up for that a bit

#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #the last of us #tlou #ellie tlou #the last of us part 2 #ptsd #ptsd awareness #joel tlou #ellie williams #tlou lost levels

[gourmetbeef]

Watch out, Mr President’s son ;) 

#metaltango #kreon #Jack Krauser #leon s kennedy #re4 #au #sometimes i draw stuff like this and feel unhinged #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk

[creative-hanyou-girl]

I don't know if anyone else feels this way but I think a big reason why I'm so chill about the changes made to the PJO show from the books is because I kind of look at each other as their own seperate canon.

Like, I read a lot of anime and manga, and anime adaptations have a huge habit for changing plot points for various reasons, and as a fan of said anime and manga, I've found that I can enjoy both versions of the same story even with the differences when I look at them as their own universe or canon. That's not to say I don't want them to be faithful or true to the source material, but if a scene or situation plays out differently for a logical or entertaining reason, than I can still appreciate that deviation from the manga even if I still like the other original version of that part more. And I can even like the reversal way if I feel an anime does something better than even the manga. But if I want to, I can look at certain moments as more canon than others because I got 2 different versions of that same scene or moment.

And, I don't know, I kind of apply that reasoning to the PJO series as well, mainly with the books, the show, and even the musical (not the movies put that right back where it came from). So far I'm loving the TV show, and while I miss some of the things they changed (like the pink poodle), this adaptation really is doing a great job with staying true to the heart and spirit of the original book that I personally am not even really bothered by the changes, especially when I remember that the books will always still be there with it's own version, or canon, of events.

Like, I will say 1 thing I adore in the books that isn't really in the show is the fact that a lot of Percy and Annabeth's "rivalry" during TLT has more to do with the rivalry between Poseidon and Athena. I just really like on how this adds a level of "forbidden friendship/love" to their relationship 'cause I personally eat the forbidden relationship trope up, especially when it's done well like with Percabeth.

Yet, even if this isn't really the reason percabeth have beef with each other in the show, I can still appreciate and enjoy that according to the show's canon, they have issues because they genuinely have problems with each other as actual people rather than their parents' rivalry, because at the end of the day, that's the PJO TV show canon, and I can always turn to the books for that version of Percabeth's "rivalry", as that is the PJO book canon.

Same goes for the characters too. I will always have and love my dark haired Percy and blond haired Annabeth in the books, but I can also welcome and love Walker's Percy and Leah's Annabeth from the show. And so far, they along with Aryan are KILLING IT as those characters.

I can love both versions of the characters.

I can love both versions of the same story.

I can look at both versions as they own seperate canon or mix them together if I so wish too (especially since both versions of PJO are written by the same guy)

And that's ok. The adaptation doesn't have to be a complete copy of the books. It doesn't have to have things play out eactly the same way. The characters don't have to look exactly the way they are described as in the books. And that's ok. I will still always have the books to love and appreciate, but I can also start to love and appreciate the new adaptation for it's new spin and twists to the same story that sets it apart as it's own canon while still staying true to the spirit of its predecessor.

Anyway, sorry if I'm not making a lot of sense. I just think the people complaining about the changes in the show are looking at it all the wrong way. The show has it's own canon just as the books have their own canon, or even the musical. At the end of the day, isn't that kind of cool to have different versions of the same story and characters? Doesn't it give you so many more options to look at the story in different ways that you can prefer or choose from? Doesn't it give you new versions of canon that you choose from? And really, as long as the PJO adaptation, or any adaptation for that matter, stays true to the heart and spirit of the original story and characters, do the changes made really matter?

#anyway sorry for the long post #I've just been seeing a lot of people complaining about the PJO making changes from the books and I thought I give my 2 cents #& I thought about how the show dies make enough changes to certain events or plotpoints that you could look at it as its own seperate canon #and how that actually is kind of cool as it gives us another version of the same story and characters #it's actually really neat to have different versions of the same story ya know #its like. if I ever want the Percabeth that has more of a 'forbidden relationship' thing going on. there's always the book canon to fall on #likewise if I want the percabeth where they're rivals because they have genuine issues w/ eachother. there's the TV show. ya know? #and if I want the Athena that I can at least somewhat believe might actually care for Annabeth. there's the book canon #whereas if I want the Athena I straight up wanna strangle from the getgo. I now got the TV show for that😊 #same with the characters descriptions #I personally still imagine Percy and Annabeth as they are described in the books #but I am positvely loving Leah and Walker's portrayal of TV Percy and Annabeth so much. especially in these last few episodes. #and don't get me started on how much I love Aryan as Grover. he's the GOAT (literally🤭) #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #I just think its neat that Ive now got 2. even 3 versions of PJO canon that I can love together and individually at my disposal now #and I just think the people who are complaining about the show aren't seeing it that way and that's why they're whining about changes #like. chill guys. we still have the books. but now we also the show and musical to give us new versions of the same story and characters #and is that not amazing when you think about it? #percy jackson series #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson tv show #percy jackson #percy and annabeth #athena #annabeth chase #grover underwood #book vs show #percy jackson books #percy jackson musical #percabeth

[sparkleresthold]

Rabid

Sparkeater!BW Megs au

#kinda had this idea for an episode a la Gorilla Warfare where Megan is on the receiving end of one of Tarantulas experiments #which quickly devolves into Megs completely snapping and going feral while hunting down the Maximals during a snowstorm #survival horror shenanigans ensue #he'd eventually return to his regular self by the end of the night with little to no recollection of what happened #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #beast wars #bw megatron #maccadam #my art

[little-pup-pip]

Haii! This isn't really a request but i was wondering how you made the moodboards so lined up? I was also wondering if you had any tips? I really want to start making some ^^ /gen /nm /genq

This is a really good question!! And because I wanted to answer it thoroughly, this answer got really really long lol so the it's under the cut!

The short answer is that I crop all of my pictures manually! I usually do that in the gallery on my phone, but it can also be done here on Tumblr. The aspect ratio you're looking for is 1:1, which makes a perfect square!! If you scroll through the pictures on (most of) my moodboards, you'll see that they line up uniformly as squares, which lets me make perfect 3:3 grids! Also, I don't usually use gifs, but those need to be cropped by a third-party app or website most of the time if you plan on using those.

As for general tips, I gave some advice here! I don't have much advice on how to make moodboards because I think everyone has a unique style that they bring to their content. I'll tell you a few things that I do for my stuff, though!

I usually stick to about three main colors per moodboard, unless it's supposed to be colorful specifically!

I have a few go-to items that I put in my moodboards: blankets, stuffies, pacifiers, sweaters, books, and sometimes also lights!!

I add as many tags as I can think of to my stuff! That's how people discover new content!!

The last thing I can think of is I always try to make the theme of moodboard clear. Like, I ask myself 'if there was no title or request attached to it, would people still be able to guess what it's supposed to be?' This is easiest with characters because you can just put their face in there! Idk thinking about that helps me sometimes with sticking to a theme!!

That's all I got. I hope this helped at all!! If you have anymore questions feel free to ask! If that's all, I hope you have fun making stuff!

#this got so long #i'm sorry about that #i hope it at least helps you a little!! #I'm excited to see what you create! #Pip's barks #i think I'm going to make a commonly asked questions post #maybe that will help some people out #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #this was a fun question to answer!! #ps i hope this is what you meant by lined up #if not let me know and I'll try to help! #this wasn't edited there's probably grammatical errors

[notquitedeadpod]

sometimes i get caught in little brain loops about the mechanics of how vampires eat. i get lost in the sauce about how much blood they'd need, what the exact mechanism for that might be

then i have to be like 'no u gotta be more loosey goosey about this' bc in reality, blood is so nutritionally incomplete that vampire bats, the only mammal obligate blood-eaters, consume so much blood just to get enough nutrients to live that they sometimes can't take flight after a meal, and have to piss pretty much constantly in order to get rid of excess water weight to be able to fly

which isn't very sexy

#and it IS very important that the vampires are sexy #so they can't have 'normal' digestive tracts #that would be hilarious though #more power to people who want to write vampires who need to consume so much blood they have to just lay around all bloated #pissing themselves to deflate enough to move #it's also really hard for vampire bats to rear their young #like if you think about it #the blood has to provide not just nutrition for the mother but also be converted into milk to nourish the batlings #but blood is absolutely SHIT to use for this #so the babies take FOREVER to grow #anyway thanks for coming to my TED Talk #eira speaks