#anyway thats enough being sad on the internet for today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

an-angel-in-the-garden · 2 years

Note

hi hi im back again ~~ so i was thinking you know that joke/ question "would you still love me if i was a worm?" ok hear me out .... nnoitra, aizen, grimmjow, ulquiorra, kenpachi, and Szayelaporro have fun ~ ✾◕ ‿ ◕✾

I love this ask so much! I love the "will you love me if I were a worm" and I want to write so many people for it! More notes will be at the bottom. CW: Foul language, talking of gore and violence, talks of experimentation on people and OOC actions, Szayelaporro's part is leaning more into the toxic and unhealthy side of things so be warned

Nnoitra feat. Tesla

Honestly you're lucky he likes you so much had anyone else even tried to say something like that they wouldnt be living past it

Nnoitra is mean very mean and will tell right away that if you became a worm he would let you get crushed or eaten and not feel bad

If you want something slightly nice you need to get Tesla involved ask him if he would keep you safe as a worm and wait for Nnoitra to just need to one up him

Tesla plays along without any problems " Of course Y/N should you ever become a worm I will do my best to keep you safe until you go back to being you"

Nnoitra is not happy, not only because you seem so happy about that but also because it makes it seem like Nnoitra cant protect you

It takes nothing more for him to make a big deal about why HE would be the one to love you as fucking worm

Nnoitra seemed like he was in a good mood today after being gone for a few hours he came back boasting about the newest fight he'd won. As things were begining to calm down it seemed liked the perfect chance to ask the question I'd seen floating around the internet lately. " Hey Nnoitra" "Hmm" He glanced over " Would you still love me if I were a worm"? It's almost funny how fast his attention snaps to me " Are you being serious right now.... ya know what, doesnt matter if you were a worm I wouldnt have started loving you." " Nnoitraa thats mean" He scoffs " I bet Tesla would still care about me if I became a worm" I knew he could still hear me and I had to stifle my laugh at the obvious look of anger that comes over him. "Fine" He walks over wrapping his long arms around me " If you became a worm I would still love you but dont think I would just let something like that happen got it"? He's so easy sometimes~

Aizen

The most unamused look you've ever gotten from him, as long as you ask when he's in a good mood its just a huff and stare as he waits for you to explain further

Tell him why you want to know and understand that he needs a reason as to why you become a worm in the first if you want a good response say its because of Szayelaporro

If its captian Aizen you'll get a nice response anyway but blame Mayuri if you want to see a glimsp of the real him

Captain Aizen might say something along the lines of " You would never have to worry about my love for you fading I would simply find a way to help you"

Now if you involved the idea that someone did it to you no matter what side of him you know the reaction is far more agresssive

" If he's truly dumb enough to do something like be sure that I would not only get you back from that sad state I would make sure the pain he felt was worse then death" Now as a captain that might be more of a mumble but the real Aizen says it bluntly and its a soft as you can get from him

It's sometimes hard to believe that Aizen chose me to stand by his side to think someone like him could love, it still seems so odd. Maybe that's why I find it so fun to try and mess with him? " Oh lord Aizen! " Yes my love" He welcomes me immediately, opening his arms for me to sit with him upon the throne. " Would you still love me if I were a worm?" His warmth shields me from the cold of Las Noches, my arms draped on his shoulders and my body rests on his. " My what a strange question." He chuckles before placing a kiss to my forehead " No matter what happens my feeling for you will never waver you will always be My Love. Though should something like that ever happen I will stop at nothing to get you back and those who have crossed us shall suffer beyond what they thought possible" Thank you My King" Surrounded by warmth we bask in one another.

Grimmjow

Such a fast no. He laughs before putting his hand on your head and then gives a quick No

From here you have two choices one is just let it go asking again without a plan will just get you a rude answer back however if you want to wind him up just get pouty

Mention that Ichigo would be nicer to you or that it makes you sad to know he wouldnt care and watch him backtrack fast

" I'm not sayin I wouldnt care but.... Look I would never let you become a worm ok!"

He gets really huffy about it " Dont ask something so stupid okay"? he says with an arm wrapped around you

Will just brush it off after like you never brought it up and dont think to ask again because he will just ignore you

Grimmjow makes it so easy to tease him he gets red at the smallest hints of affection and all jumpy when it comes to being honest about his love for another perhaps that's why I wanted to ask. " Hey Grimmy would you love me if I were worm" Why would I" Hmm I should have gussed that well then time to up the ante" That's really mean Grimmjow so what you wouldnt care at all how crule" He scowls some " Hey thats not what I said" It kinda is" He pulls me to his side aggerssively nuzzling the top of my " Of course I would care if somethin happened to you but being a worm is just stupid alright….now dont pout like that." My lips meet his in a soft peck " Of course Grimmy~"

Ulquiorra

Gives it real thought and at first that seems nice but his answer wont be that kind....at first

A lot like with the others you almost have to coax a nicer answer unlike the others though its never that romantic with Ulquiorra but it can be nice-ish

Asking outright will get a blunt answer of " No. Should you become a worm I cant see why I would love you as such, however I will make sure you get back to your normal self"

He just wont care at first so a little push is needed if you want more then that and even then it wont be the sweetest thing but is much nicer

Once more blaming Szayelaporro is going to be your best choice here but not just in theory tell him it was a threat ( It probably was) and the answer in return is better as he becomes protective

" I would never allow him to do something like that to you but should that ever occur I will make sure you are well taken care of while he fixes it" While it might not be the most romatinc thing it is meaninful coming from him

Sometimes boredom is a person's worst enemy even more when you can't just leave to find something to do. In that quiet place however ideas can strike at any time and today that idea as many others before it involved Ulquiorra. Recently Szayelaporro had been talking about an experiment he'd been looking into and that was a wonderful place to start. " Ul-qui-or-ra'' Yes y/n" would you still love me if I were a worm." I hear the sigh before he looks at me " I would not, however I will make sure you are safe while the problem gets fixed" I should have guessed as much yet I couldn't help but want more " Well would you be upset? Or what if Szayelaporro turned me into a worm would that change anything?" Maybe it sounded desperate but is it wrong to want something more. " How silly" Silly? I mean sure the question is silly but my worries aren't. " If you must know, yes I think I would miss you. It becomes rather lonely when you're not here. However it's odd that you think I would even let that happen. You are under my care as my partner I will not allow any harm to come to you do you understand." Ulquiorra walked over to me resting his hand upon my head and if one looked closed enough you could see his lips curved in the smallest hint of a smile

Kenpachi feat Yachiru

Almost wont give you answer about it, wait a little and he will, it becomes an oddly sweet moment

Now its really easy to ask him as more often then not Kenpachi is happy to let you talk about or ask strange things since thats just you the best part is that Yachiru will join in on the fun

Though the question does throw him off he just shurgs it off to start after all this is a normal thing for you so he's not worried about giving you a staright answer

This is where Yachiru comes in. She also wants to know after all she know if she became a worm you and Kenny would keep her safe and Yachiru tells you she plans to make sure you live a good life as a worm so Kenny should tell you that too

After hearing that Kenpachi will give you an answer a very well thought out on for both you and Yachiru its going to be one the few times you get the sweetness

" I would do anything to keep ya safe Y/N no matter what or who I have to go through. If you became a worm nothing would stop me from getting ya back and making sure you're okay you got that. And Yachiru obviously I would keep ya safe till we could get you back worm or not"

With nothing else to do asking Kenpachi those odd questions in the back of my mind seemed like a good plan. Its not like he would be bothered by it so no harm done right? " Heyy Kenpachi if I were a worm would you still love me?" Nothing.... I guess it wouldnt shock me if he was napping but I was sure he should have heard me " Kenpachi answer me cmon" Again nothing he just shifted some turning his body to face my from where he was laying " You know silence is also an answer so I'll just take it as a no" I pout some turning my nose up and wait " Alright alright no need for that" His gruff voice calls out " Look at me first" For a guy as big as Kenpachi he's so quiet I hadn't even noticed he moved this close " Look I cant say I would love you if I met you AS a worm but if you ever became a worm I would stop at nothing to get you back" Even though I knew he had more to say it didnt stop me from throwing myself in his arms and all he did was laugh, pulling me in and resting me on his lap " No matter who or what I had to fight I would keep ya safe and sound with Yachiru's help and make sure you get back to being you so dont forget that " The feel of his lips on my head make me smile. Who would have thought my silly little question would get him to say so much.

Szayelaporro

Szayelaporro will laugh not in the same way Grimmjow does no this is far worse more evil and it makes you not want to ask why but thats to bad because he plans on telling you why

" Oh Sweet thing of course I wounldnt. If you became a worm its most likely that I was the reason for it."

He doesnt hold back for any reason and thus the only way to get him to be even alittle nice about it is to carry on with that conversation, to ask qustions about it

" Why you ask hahaha well its quite simple if I were willing to do something like that its because I no longer care you...However if something else where to do that to you I could fix it

He brushes by anything else you might say but expect him to be a tad more affectionate after this in a way he veiws this as you saying he hasnt been a good enough partner

Honestly he doesnt think much of it after that but its good little reminder that in some way he does care for you and this is a good way to find out just how much

It's hard to say what made me want to ask him something like this after all knowing Szayelaporro he wouldnt be happy to be asked something so childish. Maybe it was to see if he would care or maybe just because I wanted to know how far I could push him before he got sick of dealing with me, it's hard to say but that didnt stop me from asking. " Szayelaporro if I became a worm would you still love me?" He doesnt bother to stop with whatever he's doing " hahaha My sweet thing if you became a worm isnt it smarter to think I'm the one who did it" Well that doesnt answer my question" " If I did that you should know it means I dont love you, now are we done?" Of course I knew something like this would happen but it still hurts to hear in an odd way " So does that mean you love me now" I could feel the shake of my voice " I see so thats what this is about. I treat you well yes? I make sure to keep you safe from both my tests and the others that raom here, I spend my time with you and seek you out for things outside of work. This might not be love but I do care for you sweet thing" My face felt hot and I could feel the wetness slowing trailing from my eyes. I move before I think, burying my head in his chest I let myself collapse against him and to my shock he lets me, guiding me back to the couch and curling around me we sit in the silence together.

So a few things one I know most of this is so ooc and like thats to be expected but I want to say that I havent seen much on any of the Espada due to where I'm at in the anime and two I now know I love writing szayelaporro so much because I can be so mean with it but still give him some kindness towards his lover and thats fun. I hope you enjoyed thank you for waiting and HAPPY PRIDE!🌈💖 Also I'm gonna try real hard to get another thing out before June ends. - Lilly

#reader x #reader imagine #x reader #reader insert #bleach x reader #bleach imagines #grimmjow x reader #ulquiorra x reader #kenpachi x reader #szayelaporro x reader #aizen x reader #nnoitra x reader

547 notes · View notes

nytfythfhtyf · 3 years

Text

man i wish my brain would let me eat more kinds of food so im not a constant burden on my friends and family whenever the need to eat food comes up

#my family is used to it at this point #but whenever my friends start suggesting places to eat im like #shit awesome most of the things theyre listing are things i dont like i can either force everyone to get food im okay with #or let them get what they want and just deal with it #its not really like sucking it up and eating shit i dont like is an option #cause that will usually end in me getting physically sick and having a mental breakdown #if i bang my head against a wall enough will it remove the autism #every time i have to ask for certain food im like #if i do this one more god damn time all of my friends will break up with me #*trying not to cry* haha im so sorry can we get like mcdonalds or something haha #im doing a funny joke sad voice to cover up the fact that i feel like throwing myself off a cliff right now haha #anyway thats enough being sad on the internet for today #i say things

4 notes · View notes

amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 3 years

Text

Cheryl//this is me trying

Request: Can I request a season 1 cheryl x reader. Cheryl always protects reader from people and r is shy but falls in love with the redhead and some who’s accidentally tells her while she’s having a bad day but cheryl is quick to reassure her then they cuddle after going to pops or something and it’s just fluffy.

hey! happy valentines day gays! and get you, two imagines in one day, it must be the day of love. i hope you all like this because it’s really fluffy and i enjoyed writing this a lot!

Overnight, Riverdale became a shell of its former self. Two months since Kevin Keller and Moose Mason stumbled upon the body of Jason Blossom, and nobody has been the same since.

The town is riddled with secrets, they’re slowly destroying it like a disease. Nobody trusts anybody anymore, everyone is on high alert, and everyone is a suspect.

Cheryl usually loves being the centre of attention, she has done ever she was a kid. It’s something that comes naturally with being a twin, you share everything and as much as she loves loved the shared birthdays and friends, she has always loved being the centre of attention.

Now however, she hates it. Her life is a true crime documentary at the minute, and all she wants is for the killer to be caught so the crew can pack up and leave and she no longer has to stare down at the blinding lights being cast over her and her family.

The only thing that’s kept her sane over the past two months, is you. Despite everything happening, despite the murder and the secrets and the suspicion, you’ve stuck by her side. You were with her when they found the body, and you haven’t really left since.

The two of you are unlikely friends, she’s Cheryl. Bright and bold and never one to back down from confrontation. But you’re Y/n, sweet and shy and always the first to shrink away from any sort of attention directed at you.

She knows you hate the constant attention recently, it’s something you get used when you’re best friends with the victim’s sister, but not once have you complained.

You’ve being questioned by police, journalists and strangers on the internet. You’ve had camera’s shoved in your face on your walk back from school and been asked countless questions about what you know about the Blossom’s. And you’ve also been offered ridiculous amounts of money in order to talk. But no matter what happens, you always just rush past them and join Cheryl, who’s always waiting for you with a sad smile and warm hand.

Due to the constant hoard of vultures swarming Riverdale High, the two of you had to figure out somewhere else to meet after school so you could walk the long way home. It adds twenty minutes to your walk, but it’s not that well known around town, meaning people can’t bother you.

Plus, the extra twenty minutes that you get to spend with Cheryl isn’t the worst thing. It’s the opposite in fact. It’s the thing you look forward to, even if you are looking over your shoulder every so often

But today you’re not at your meeting spot.

When Cheryl pushes her way through the stares of her fellow students with you and only you on her mind and makes her way through the school basement, back up the stairs and out of the fire exit, you’re not waiting for her with a smile that makes her feel warm and a cold slice of pizza you snuck out of the cafe earlier.

The only thing waiting for her is a full bin and an empty field.

“Y/n?” She calls out and looks around the corner. She’s met with three seniors, all of which are smoking with absolutely no care for being caught.

“She’s not here.” One of them says, her blonde hair and large glasses cover half of her face and Cheryl forces a smile.

“Hey, Blossom.” A boy says and Cheryl freezes. Who knows what they want, but whatever it is, it probably won’t be nice. It’ll probably be something along the lines of ‘hey, did you kill your brother’ and no matter how many times she’s asked that, it doesn’t get any easier. “Maybe try the bleachers.” He says, ending his sentence with a sympathetic smile and Cheryl nods slowly, not really sure what to say.

“Thanks.” She forces and spins on her heel.

“We’re sorry about your brother, Cheryl.” The blonde one says and she turns around again. Each of them look sad, with matching frowns and sorrow swimming in their eyes.

Jason meant the world to Cheryl, but he also meant a hell of a lot to other people too. And that’s when it hits her. Of course you’re at the bleachers.

For some bizarre reason, only known by your father. You and your family used to come along every other week to watch the Bulldogs play. For a while you thought it was because your dad was trying to get you and your brother into football and this was a lot cheaper than the actual game, but the older you got the more you figured it was because he was just trying to relive his youth. For 90 minutes he could pretend that he was quarterback again and for those 90 minutes your dad would be the happiest he’d been all week.

Then one week, a redhead sat beside you. In clothes that were far too expensive to be worn to a high school football game. Her parents looked like they wanted to be there as much as she did, but then a boy with matching red hair ran out on to the pitch and you’d never seen a smile quite like it.

After that, you made sure to sit beside her at every game. And then one day she sat opposite you at lunch. The first few times she was alone, but then soon she began to appear with a group of other girls, but you were the only one she’d talk to.

Eventually lunch times and football games turned into group projects and sleepovers. You spend hours braiding her hair and listening to her tell you stories of other worlds and the creatures that live in them. You’d sneak down the dark and creepy halls of Thornhill in hopes of finding a midnight snack, and instead be met by Jason and your older brother in clown masks.

Eventually, you found a different way to get to the kitchen, one that Jason didn’t know about. And when he’d come looking for you, both of you would jump out and chase him around the house, much to the dismay of Penelope and Clifford.

Those bleachers are what started a whole friendship, not only between you and her, but also you and Jason. When you’re brother eventually made the team, thanks to a good word put in my Jason, despite him being a year younger. Him and Jason became as inseparable as you and Cheryl and so it wasn’t an uncommon occurrence to see the four of you hanging out. It also meant that if Cheryl was busy, you and Jason would hang out until she finished whatever she was doing.

Grief is a hell of a lonely thing, and sometimes Cheryl forgets that other people miss Jason too. With everything going on, she didn’t even think about how you were doing. With all the questions, accusations and crying that constantly fills Cheryl’s house. She never even asked how you were.

And now her legs can’t carry her quick enough to were she hopes your sat. Because she’s already lost her brother, she can’t lose you too. She wobbles as her heels dig into the dirt, kicking up dust and mud as she runs across the field. Her hair swings behind her, and she can feel the red scrunchie loosen the quicker she runs.

The bleachers have all sorts carved into them. Initials in hearts, some of them still there, some of them crossed out so aggressively that it’s a miracle they didn’t chop it in half. There’s inside jokes and ridiculous rumours. Codes and dates and everything in between.

But something new has been added in the past few days.

cheryl murdered jason

and y/n helped

The writing is small and barely legible, but it’s there and the more you run your fingers over it the more it carves itself into your heart.

“Y/n?” Cheryl pants breathlessly and you quickly pull yourself away from it. Instead you stand up properly and pull the sleeves of your sweater down over your hands. The y/f/c scrunchie remains still in your hair and Cheryl has to stare at it for a few seconds to calm herself down. “You weren’t at our spot.” She says quietly and you close your eyes.

You let her down. You let her down. You always let her down.

“Sorry Cheryl.” You sigh and sit down in the dirt. Cheryl looks around before sitting beside you. “I just wanted some space.” You add and force yourself to look at her.

The sun sits behind her, but even that doesn’t seem as bright as it used to be. Nothing is what it used to be. For the past two months, you’ve been told that thats a good thing. But what’s good about someone you loved being dead. What’s good about watching someone else you love go through life but not really live.

Cheryl just exists.

But she exists for you.

Because as lost as she would be without you, she knows you would be just as lost without her.

It’s an unspoken rule now, you always text each other when you wake up and before you go to sleep. It’s something you used to do anyway, but now you make a point not to forget. Because forgetting means that the worst could have happened, and that’s something neither of you can bare to deal with.

“I get it.” She nods. “I was just worried that’s all.” She adds, trying to sound as casual as she can. But on the inside she’s screaming. Because she thought you had died, she thought whoever had killed Jason had gotten to you too, and the whole reason you’re both dead is because she wronged the wrong person.

There’s a lot of people that don’t like Cheryl, being unliked comes naturally to her. But she doesn’t know how she’ll cope if she’s so unlikeable someone she loves died.

She has no idea why your friends with her to be honest. She saw you staring at her at a football game once. But it wasn’t a stare she was used to. It wasn’t cold like her mothers or jealous like her friends. No, this was nice. You were staring at her like you wanted to know about her, like when you looked at her, you saw a friend not someone to be feared.

And so Cheryl clung onto the tiny hint of friendship, the crack of a door into something that could happen, and she shoved herself through it. It worked, and now you’re the only person she’s nice to. She’s mean to everyone else, she calls them names and teases them, especially when they’re rude to you...but you stay. And she has no idea why, but she’s not going to wish it away.

“Shit, sorry Cheryl.” You drop your head into your hands and Cheryl looks at you confused. She looks around, not really sure of what to do. “I didn’t think, God knows what you thought had happened.” You ramble and she realizes you’re crying. Her eyes widen and you look at her, your eyes red and puffed and your lips pulls into frown.

“It’s okay.” She replies and wraps her arms around you. You bury your head into her neck, the smell of maple and cherries invade your senses and you let out a shaky breath.

It smells like home and happier times, and you want to crawl into those happy memories and never come back out. “I was just being ridiculous.” She tries to play it off, to make it seem like she couldn’t feel her heartbeat in her throat and the ringing in her ears. Pretend like it didn’t feel like someone had pulled her heart out and stamped on it.

“No, no you weren’t. I’m really sorry.” You sob and wrap your arms around her. She falls into your neck, surprised but not upset with how tight you’re holding her. She never wants you to let go. But of course she has to, and so however reluctant, she untangles herself from you and lets out a deep sigh.

“I’m sorry.” You sniffle. She hands you a tissue and you wipe your eyes with it before scrunching it up in your hand. “I’ve just had a rubbish day. Somebody shoved this in my locker.” You frown and pull a balled up piece of paper out of your pocket.

Cheryl’s eyebrows knit in confusion as she takes it from you, her fingers graze yours and you freeze for a few seconds.

who do you think did it?

cheryl __

y/n __

Jamie __

“Why is your brother on here?” Cheryl asks, her voice rising with each word and you rest your hand on top of hers to calm her down.

“I dunno.” You shrug. “Your parents are on there too.” You add and point further down the page.

“What a bunch of dicks.” She grumbles and crumples it up. “Do you know who it was?” You shrug and she sighs.

“I’ve just gotten tired of the staring and the whispers. So I thought I’d just have five minutes peace before going home and having to listen to Jamie cry in his room but pretend he’s okay. Or for my parents to walk on eggshells around both of us. Neither of them know what to say, and because of that they keep saying the wrong thing.” You ramble and she listens intently, trying her best to find a resolution to all of your problems.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t know the answer to everything, no matter what her mom says.

“I just thought five minutes by myself can’t be terrible. But then I came down here and someone carve-well it doesn’t matter what they wrote. What matters is that I made you worry at the worst possible time in your life. I hurt you, and I’m really sorry. Believe me, hurting you is the last thing I want to do you. I feel sick even just thinking about it. I never, ever want to hurt you. I love you too much. I love you more that I’ve ever loved anything or anyone ever. I just love yo-” Your eyes widen when you realize what you’ve just admitted to.

You don’t want to look at her, but she hasn’t said anything in a while and that’s strange for her. So you force yourself to look at her, expecting the worst. Expecting disgust, disappointment, betrayal. But it’s none of those.

Instead she’s smiling. And she looks actually happy. Something you haven’t seen in so long, something you’re glad to see, despite the circumstances.

Oh yeah, you’ve just told her you’re in love with her. What do you say after that?

“I-er-”

“Y/n?” She cuts you off before you get the chance to ruin the moment. She’s known you for long enough to know that when you get nervous, you ramble and when you ramble you say weird things.

You’re grateful for her cutting you off, usually if she talks over you, it annoys the hell out of you. But this time it’s welcomed and she stifles a small laugh and the sigh of relief you let out.

But the next thing she says is something that you weren’t expecting, but you’re sure as hell grateful for.

“Would you like to go on a date?”

---

The red lights from outside, illuminate Cheryl’s pale face in the night, painting her in a reddish hue and you find yourself staring at her for far longer than would be considered normal.

Lucky for you, she hasn’t noticed. She doesn’t seem to be paying attention to anything, not really anyway. Instead she stares down at her food, pushing a few fries around the plate and anxiety rises in your chest.

She’s already regretting doing this. She’s made a mistake and now she doesn’t know how to let you down gently.

She seems to sense you nerves because she’s looking at you quickly, a sad smile twitching at her lips.

“Sorry, I just. Jason always used to tease me about the two of us. It’s the only thing we’d take about sometimes. He’d constantly ask me if I’d asked you out yet. And every time I would say ‘no, we’re just friends’ but, well neither of us really believed that.” She says, a small laugh escapes her lips near the end, but she quickly shuts it off. It’s too soon for her to be laughing, too soon for her to be happy.

“Yeah.” You nod and finish your drink. “He used to tease me too. ‘if you don’t tell her, I’ll do it myself’.” You mimic his voice and a ghost of a smile twitches at her lips as she forces herself to look at you. “I am really glad you did ask me though.” Your voice shakes a little with nerves and Cheryl stares at you confused. “I do really like you Cheryl.”

“I really like you too.” She smiles softly and you stare at her lips. Sometimes you think the red lipstick has permanently stained her lips cherry red. Even when you guys are a sleepover, she still has bright red lips and the other part of you wonders if that’s just what they look like.

“Hey.” You start and a sly smile twitches at your lips as you remember an old memory. She leans forward, excited to know what you’re smiling about.

It could literally be anything, from a musty old book she let you borrow from the Thornhill archive, to a new tv show you started to watch. But whatever it is, she’s excited to hear you talk about it.

“Can you remember last year. It was Jamie’s 16th birthday and you and Jason were invited over. Jason was there because him and Jamie were planning on sneaking out later that night, and you tagged along so you could keep me company.” You start and she smiles at the memory.

The four of you sat in the living room, while your mom brought cake and your dad sang ‘happy birthday’. Cheryl remembers how happy she was, and she remembers talking to Jason afterwards, the two of them whispering and wondering if that was what a normal family was supposed to look like.

You, Cheryl and Jason had each pitched in for the record player he wanted. And even though you all knew that just Cheryl alone could have been able to buy him it if she really wanted, you knew they split it for you.

Jamie was ecstatic when he opened the box, and then all of the records you’d bought to go with it. He’d played it every single day since getting it, but now you haven’t heard it in months.

“Yeah.” She nods, a sad smiling taking over he face. “Can you remember when Jason pushed his face into the cake.” She adds making you snort a laugh.

The bell above Pop’s rings and Betty and Archie walk in. They send you a sympathetic smile before sitting at their own booth, and you and Cheryl share a look.

“Would you like another one?” You point at her milkshake and she nods, smiling shyly.

---

The walk home is over far too soon, and it’s only when you’re standing on your porch do you realize you took the normal way home by accident. Either the media has gone to sleep, or people are starting to forget about Jason and Riverdale.

That thought makes you frown and Cheryl watches your expression falter before you look back at her again.

“Thank you for walking me home.” You smile shyly and a nervous laugh escapes her lips.

“It’s no problem.” She shrugs and the two of you stare at each other for a few seconds longer than normal. She’s about to leave when you grab her hand and spin her around to face you.

She’s surprised for a second, until suddenly she feels a pair of lips on hers, and then the only thing she can feel is them. Everything else disappears, and though the kiss is short and a little awkward, it’s still perfect.

“Would you like to come in?” You ask and motion your head to large wooden door. The pain is chipped around the metal numbers, something your mom has nagged your dad about for the past 6 months. “We still have the rest of y/f/s to watch.”

“I’d love to.” She nods and the two of you grin at each other. “But seriously, how many times have you seen that now?”

“It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen it.” You unlock the front door, giving it a quick kick before you stumble through it. “What matters is that this is the first time you’re seeing it.” You add and she rolls her eyes but follows you up the stairs anyway.

The sun sets over another day in Riverdale and darkness floods the town. The streets are cold and scary, but wrapped in your duvet and Cheryl’s arms, you’ve never felt warmer.

#cheryl blossom #cheryl blossom imagine #cheryl blossom x reader #cheryl blossom x y/n #cheryl blossom x you #riverdale #riverdale imagine

183 notes · View notes

ghost--ranger · 3 years

Text

Lets lay out the two ways this can go.

1) They dont make supercorp canon and endgame.

They continue with the forced heteronormativity they fully know the majority of their remaining audience isnt here for and actively despises. Or, even worse, they bring back another disliked romance to make endgame. The best case scenario they can go with this route is leaving Kara single.

Any of these is the cowards way out.

So what'll happen if thats the outcome? They can expect MASSIVE fan backlash. Even though a lot of supercorps have accepted that theres a good chance it wont become canon, its not gonna matter. Once its confirmed, everyones gonna be angry.

Because everyone knows at this point, if it doesnt happen, the sole reason will be because of homophobia/lesbophobia somewhere behind the scenes.

So, what about after that calms down? Outside of being remembered for being one of the worst cases of queerbaiting in modern times, I imagine the show will just kind of fade into obscurity.

Think Once Upon a Time. Think Rizzoli and Isles. People don't really talk about these shows (on a mainstream scale anyway, i know these shows still have pockets of fans) today outside of the pairings they queerbaited.

And i dont really have faith the CW will carry on the shows legacy now that they have the super they always wanted.

2) Supercorp is made canon and endgame

Now I'll be the first to say that if they do make supercorp endgame, i highly doubt it'll be done well. It'll probably happen in the last few episodes of the show.

But. Thats enough.

Its sad, but its true. Expectations are so low that a hand hold in the last few moments will be enough to break the internet.

They'll get the normal homophobic and anti backlash, but that'll be minimal compared to the praise theyll get. From fans, media outlets, and even people outside of that.

I know for a fact that there will be droves of people that'll flock to the show if supercorp is made canon. From people returning, to entirely new people.

Think about the amount of people that went to watch She Ra or Legend of Korra after they saw the lead ended up with a woman. Hell, im one of those people.

Despite the rest of the issues plaguing this show, that will be enough to get people to wanna watch the show for years to come.

So, its up to them. Go with the "safe" choice, causing backlash followed by obscurity? Or do something revolutionary, that'll have benefits that far outweigh the initial phobic backlash.

We just have to wait and see which path they choose.

#supercorp #supergirl #supercorp endgame

65 notes · View notes

the-fiction-witch · 3 years

Text

Goo

REAL LIFE: SCANDAL COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: FUNNY + FLIRTY AF

"What are we doing today?" Thomas asks sat on his sofa sipping tea out of a mug shaped like the death star

"We are going to be nice to you" y/n smiled as she came from behind the camera with tea and a small packet of biscuits

"Are we?" he asks glaring at her a little confused and taking a biscuit from her

"Yes we are Thomas" she smiled fixing her hair

".... I am suspicious" he says trying to dip his biscuit in his mug however it was far to big to go into the mug "Ooh." He sighed sadness flooding his face apron discovering he couldn't dunk his biscuit before snapping it in half and dunking it

"Why?"

"Because why are you being nice to me?"

"I can't be nice?"

"Yes But it worry's me" he sighed

"we are going to make you lovely and relaxed" she smiled

"... You're not even going to comment on me being gross?" He asks eating his now tea soaked biscuit

"..... No I won't" she sighed sipping her tea "with your crunchy tea"

"I knew that wouldn't last long" He says

"I am not good at being nice"

"You are not" He sighed "What are we doing anyway?"

"Do You remember being a child?"

"Vaguely yes"

"Do you remember a advert that plaid on Tv when we where kids?"

"... I remember alot of ad's that plaid when we where kids"

"well we weren't really kids we would have been... teens"

"Teens? like pre teens or older teens?"

"Mid Teens"

".... ish, I remember little from that time. I spend most of it locked in my room"

"I remember you bassicly went in your bedroom as a pre teen who looked really fucking young and then came out when you where like nineteen where yeah you still looked young but you've voice had broke, you grew a bit, like you actually looked more like a teen" "I did, I didn't want anyone to see me at that time, especially you"

"why not me?"

"Because I had a crush on you at that point" "Did you?"

"Yeah? you didn't know that?"

"No"

"Yeah, I had a massive fucking crush on you at that age"

"I did Not know that" she giggles

"You knew, I've told you that before" he says "To be fair you where like a little poodle skirt girl who worked for your dad in a vintage car garage, that I also worked at. I was going to end up with a crush on you at some point"

"was the me being bi helping a bit with that?" "Yes! I watched you make out with Jake and then immediately go make out with linsey. that was amazing"

"Did you ever wanna see me naked?"

"I was seventeen? So.... yes" "The tits?" "Tits where making a very compelling argument at that age" "do they still?"

"Ehh" He shrugs "Kinda, it's less fun because I now know you don't give a shit"

"I really don't, there just breasts, I have boobs, you have boobs."

"You've very much okay with it"

"My logic is, you can lift your shirt up show your boobs and nips, I do It I get arrested and that's fucking mental"

"It is" he says "I would not complain about you taking your shirt off" "The face" she smiled rubbing his chin "shut it"

"Didn't you make out with my girlfriend at that point?"

"I did, your eighteenth birthday party"

"That was werid.... But very arousing" "What me and your then girlfriend making out in front of you?"

"Yeah, pretty sure I'd had a sex dream about that" He says sipping his tea

"Then or yesterday?" "Both" "Hey issy, how you doing, wanna come over and make out in front of thomas again" she waves

"We don't even date anymore"

"Still, just have like a party of all your old girlfreinds"

"Ohh god!"

"and I'll snog all of them"

"Even Gzi?"

"Especially Gzi, she's fucking hot"

"Yeah..."

"You fucked up"

"That I did" "I'm very off topic, anyway! The product that was on constantly like every other ad break, I will point out it was... On the verge of an infomercial, like if it had been a minuet longer it would be an infomercial not an ad" she explained

".... I remember two of them" "The one you where never allowed to have"

"........... Jelli bath!" He gasped

"Hold up! say that again"

"Jelli bath"

".... Thomas brodie Sangster you are from fucking south London don't you dare said bath in that way"

"what? it's what the product is called"

"The product?"

"Is Jelli BAth

"But on Sundays you have a ?"

"Bubble Bath"

"Thank you" she smiled "what was the other ad you remember?"

"The weird moulding gunk"

"Ohh yeah, what was that called?"

"No idea, I do not remember I just remember the kid in the ad putting the orange goo on the dinosaur skeleton and making it into a big dinosaur" he explained

"Yeah I remember that, But Jelli bath? you remember this?"

"I do"

"good"

"We are going to go bathe in it" he asks sipping his tea

"Yep"

".... are we bathing together?" He asks

"Yep"

"On camera?"

"Yep"

"We're gonna be naked?"

"Do you wanna be naked?"

".... Well of course I wanna be naked sweetie darling"

"Thomas! stop fueling the fire!"

"I'm sorry, are we gonna be naked in this stuff though?"

"No, we will have swimsuits on, becuase.... internet" she says "we as always will do a version where we are naked that will be on my porn hub channel as usual" " as usual? when have you filmed us naked?"

"When aren't I filming you naked?"

"that video's not on there is it?" he whispered

"what video?"

"Are you filming?"

"Uhh, No I pasued" she says touching the remote for her camera but it still filmed "what video?"

"THE Video"

"What video?"

"........ The Video" He says "You know the one I mean y/n"

"No I don't be more specific?"

"The sexy video we did the other month?"

"The sex toy one?"

"No"

"The linqure one?"

"No, you know the one I mean, sugar"

"we make a lot of sexy videos"

"The... one in my bedroom" he whispered

"Oh no, thats' saved on my hard drive"

"Ahhh good," he says

"Ohh I didn't pause the camera, it's fine sally will cut it" she says "Lets go make the bath up"

"Ooooohh.... bath time together"

"Oh shut up thomas"

"wait who's bathroom are we using?"

"yours"

"Oh no" he says "should I have cleaned it?"

"when did you clean it last?" she asks he simply sips his tea sheepishly "Thomas?"

It then cut to the bathroom with the bath already run the two in swimwear

"why did I agree to this?" He sighs

"Because I'm not ordering Pizza unless you do" "I'm an adult. I can buy my own Pizza"

"But do you wanna ring the man to order it?"

"..... Lets do this" He sighed

"throw in this bag of stuff" she says "Then wait for goo"

"Who's going in first" "You"

"why me?"

"You're bathroom"

"You're Idea"

"You're more naked then I am"

"You're video" "Get in the tub Thomas"

"You get in the tub"

"Fine! How clean is this bathtub?" she asks going to climb in

"Uuuuuuuuuhhhhh...."

"A day?"

"Uhhhh"

"A week?"

"Uuhhh"

"Have you jizzed in this tub recently enough It will be an issue for me Thomas!"

".... Maybe" he says "How long does it live?"

"Four days"

"No your good"

"are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure,"

"Okay" she says climbing in

"Just don't touch the bottle on the side" he says from off camera

"whoa whoa whoa what why!" she yelped

"No reason"

"No fucking tell me why can't I touch the bottle" "You'll be fine"

"Thomas.... answer the question"

".... just don't mess with it"

"Okay, Okay... I'm really freaked out now" she says as she sat in the water

"If you are that worried about getting into my bath because I might have done something, then why do you let me have sex with you?"

"Ughhh thomas!" she gasps

"You literally let me cum inside you like twenty minuets ago"

"Stop fuelling the shipping fire" she yelled throwing water at him "Shut the fuck up and get in the tub"

he sighed and climbed in the bath the other side of her "Hi"

"Hi"

"we're having a bath together" "yes we are" "This is a weird Thursday"

"It is... is this what you thought you would be doing when you woke up this morning thomas?"

".... No. But I've known you long enough to know better then to expect Normal days"

"Right lets throw in some goo" she says opening the packet and letting the powder drop into the bath

"Ooooh it's already getting thick"

"The water or your dick Thomas?"

".... both"

"Blue Gooo! It's called Blasting Bloo"

"I remember it being called bloo lagoon or something once"

"I think it was, but they must have changed it to be more friendly" "I think Blasting bloo is way more suggestive"

"that's just because we are sat in a bath together Thomas"

"Maybe"

"Ohhh I don't like this, It feels weird, I don't like want it on my butt and such"

"Nnnnnoooooooo" He complained as he felt the goo the water had now turned into "I hate this, I don't wanna be in this"

"I also don't like this but you know the deal"

"what deal!"

"We stay in this for ten minuets"

"or what?" "Or I'm filming sexy Halloween costumes with you"

"I will sit" he sighed bundling himself in the corner "do you wanna get out and go eat ice cream?"

"Yes, this shits gross"

10 notes · View notes

babyloniastreasure · 3 years

Text

right so i just got done crying on and off for the first three hours of my day and i think i deserve a bit of unloading into the internet about it

dont mind me i just,,,dont have a support system anymore lol and i need some kind of fuckin release. feel free to ignore

so the last week in particular has been extremely rough and today I almost asked to go to the hospital in the hopes of like, idk. getting some sort of help. I have never been this depressed or hopeless before in my life and I’ve never had so much nothing as I do now. I lost all of my friends and my only support. I don’t have anything to look forward to. I look at my projects and my art and I can’t stand them because everything has memories attached to people who hate me and want nothing to do with me. People who have ignored me for five fucking weeks after telling me “We want to fix this.”

i’m hardly sleeping. im constantly exhausted. im physically nauseous because i cant eat from the stress and anxiety, granted i remember to eat at all or have the energy to get up to get anything in the first place. emotionally im an absolute wreck. I can’t focus. nothing is enjoyable. there’s nothing TO enjoy, because everything i had before was everything they took away. I’ve been left in the dust after they told me they still cared. so clearly that was a lie. if they cared they wouldnt have left at the drop of a hat like that

Even my family has noticed that i’m not okay and they’re starting to ask questions. i feel bad every time i brush them off but I cant let them know how bad things really are. i cant tell them that every hour i have to fight the urge to hurt myself again. that every time i have a second of free thought i think, hey, wouldn’t it be so satisfying to make yourself bleed again? and yes! it would be satisfying! but that’s not a pit i want to fall into again. it had me for years and it took even more years to break. and even though I have the awareness to not go through with it and can recognize it’s not actually going to help in the long run, it’s so exhausting when that’s my first go-to solution. And like yeah I usually have those thoughts anyway but I’ve had such a great system of friends and people I love who love me also that it was easier to get past. There were people there for me who cared and because I knew they cared I could get through the rough patches. But now I don’t have those people. I don’t have any support. There’s nobody who cares about me. So then my loneliness gets to me and i get even more depressed and anxious and I keep spiraling, and those thoughts get worse and harder to fight off. it was those thoughts of intense “lets hurt ourselves really badly :D” that made me want to go to the hospital. I literally had the thought of “If I go to the hospital and they say I’m not severe enough to be admitted, I’ll just grab a pen and stab my leg to prove to them I need help.” Which is neither good nor healthy, but it would be so easy

instead i ended up crying for three hours and started thinking the circumstances that lead me here

and like. i will admit, and i have admitted dozens of times, hundreds of times to myself, that I made a mistake. I know that. I told them that. That was the first fucking thing I said. all i can think about is that singular, one, individual, tiny little blunder. and how despite me acknowledging it and coming clean with it and trying to talk about it, it was blown up and out of proportion and thrown in my face. they took my misstep and every single one of them twisted it and manipulated it into something far from the truth, something that painted me as a terrible person, as a secret asshole, as a huge toxic influence, as a deceitful and unappreciative person. They all threw out everything about our friendship in favor of ignoring what I’d said and assuming something far from the truth, the truth I laid out for them no less.

and then when i asked if i could clarify and communicate, they told me no. then blamed me for not communicating!!

thats all i ever tried to do! was communicate

From day one the group said hey if there’s a problem, be open with it and we’ll talk about it. we communicate to solve problems because we’re all friends and cherish each other.

what a load of shit.

i tried to communicate. I laid out my problem and then everybody else got involved, said I wasn’t allowed to talk about that with them, then they called me back like some kind of court and judge and jury and told me because I didn’t communicate, I was being kicked out. That’s not fair. I wasn’t treated fairly. I wasn’t even allowed to clarify whatever the hell they thought. They straight up told me no, you can’t talk about this with us. That’s not communication. That’s hypocritically shutting me down.

“Communicate with us Jask!”

“Okay I will send communication”

“Op! You’re not allowed :) We agreed you can’t talk to us :) You’re being kicked out :) Oh But Don’t Feel Unwelcome We Want To Fix This.” Then they all fuckin. moved into a space without me in it. That’s not welcoming. That’s exclusionary. That’s not communicating either. I’ve been handed a double standard that I can’t do anything about because I’m not allowed to even say hello to these people

How does anyone expect things to get better if I’m not being given the chance I was promised? its been. five. weeks. I’m ? so fucking tired and sad and alone, waiting every fucking day in the hopes that someone is going to actually talk to me again. then I finally pass out in near tears at 3am because another day has passed with none of them caring enough to even ask if im okay

and like. i desperately want to talk to them. i dont know what id say but. i dont know. i dont know. im not allowed to, for one. they made that crystal fucking clear. but again what would i even say?

do i say im sorry? i apologized dozens of times and it never made a difference, they ignored my apologies from the start and im certain they ignored the ones at the end too. and im terrified of saying sorry to the only person who really matters in this situation because im certain she’s going to cut me off if i even breathe in her direction

do I say that i miss them? what’s that going to do? it feels manipulative to say that. like hey pity me into talking to me again? i cant do that. im sure none of them miss me anyway so why would i put myself on the spot like that

do i admit im afraid to talk to them? again that also feels, bad, because the last time i admitted a feeling it drove them all away in an instant. and like also that feels like im backing them into a corner where they have to respond. and i dont want to force that. so it feels like talking is making the same mistake that made them kick me out. and like. what if...talking really does make it worse? what if talking is what ruins it even though talking is what they told me they want?

again there’s the double standard. be honest and communicate, but if you’re honest and communicate you’re rejected outright and made into the bad guy.

at this point its been so long

and i’ve deteriorated so much

i dont know if like. i just. i dont know...if more deterioration, if more waiting, and more dashed hope is worth it ?

i dont even know if they still want to repair things. what if they dont? what if they never did? what if they lied? what if they sit in their little group and talk poorly about me? what if they made bets about how long it’ll take me to leave or unfriend them like my isolation was some sort of game? what if they think i hate them? what if they really DO hate me? what if they moved on and want to forget about me? what if they regret knowing me at all? what if they wish they never knew me? what if they’re happy without me? what if

oh boy i started crying again

what if this entire month of waiting and crying and wishing and grieving and hoping and loneliness was a waste of time? what if this was all for nothing? what if i never get to talk to them again? i. man. i just. i really really really miss everyone. i miss them so much. i miss them so fucking much. i dont know what to do. I m. fuck. im miserable. i wish i hadn’t said anything i wish i had kept my mouth shut i wish i never tried i wish i never did any of that i wish i had my friends i wish i could go back i wish i could talk to them

if i didnt say anything at least i’d be happy and id have everything and i would have my best friends in the whole world and id, fuck man thats really it, id be happy. im so fucking awul

im so. i. i cant see the scvreen i need to go wash up and stop

#hello void its me ya boi #back again with a new hit single #It's Not A Relapse If You Recovered Six Years Ago #by fall out boy #tw/cw for people who are curious about this ramble #tw self harm #cw self harm #tw intrusive thoughts #cw intrusive thoughts #but also general self loathing and crippling loneliness

1 note · View note

yoon-kooks · 5 years

Text

Witch Hazel- Pt.4

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: FanficWriter!Jungkook, Idol!Reader, College!AU, Angst, Fluff

Summary: There are two students in your art class with a secret: you and the quiet Jeon Jungkook. You’re a problematic idol singer, infamous for your ice cold reputation and perpetual resting bitch face; he’s the artist and author behind the viral comic series based on a certain ice queen idol. After a blowup of destructive rumors, lost motivation and inevitable solitude, you stumble upon Jungkook’s comic and find a new and unexpected light.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: none

Parts: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // ?

A/N: my hope is that the idol industry can one day become a safer place for those who have dedicated their lives to making others happy ❤️

“Let me guess, you’re the type who needs to feel needed but also pushes people away?”

“How would you know that, Bunny Boy?”

“It’s my power.”

“You have powers too?” Snow blinks her pretty blue eyes. “Can you read minds?”

“I certainly can’t read minds,” Bunny Boy laughs. “But I am pretty good at reading hearts.”

“Oh yeah? What’s my heart feeling right now?”

“Well for starters, you seem to be annoyed by me prying too deep.”

“You are annoying.”

“And you also think I’m kinda cute.”

“I do not!”

You giggle into your phone screen for the hundredth time as you read through the latest Witch Hazel update. With the reveal of another character with secret powers, you wonder what Snow will make out of him. A friend? An ally? Or perhaps just someone who gets her.

Beneath the last comic panel of Snow rolling her eyes at the unofficially named Bunny Boy, you find cute little comments from the author.

“all i hope is for snow to take care of herself during this hiatus”

“even if it’s only a tiny amount, maybe witch hazel can help supplement as new snow content for now;;;;;;”

“ah i didnt mean to sound as if i were anywhere near snow’s level or anything;;;;;;”

“i just hope she knows she doesnt have to carry any burden all on her own”

“she has people on her side”

Your face doesn’t know whether to smile or shed tears, so you do a combination of both. It’s true, you’ve always felt alone. Always. No matter how many staff members it takes to produce an album or how many fans buy that album, you’ve never once felt that people could look beyond your idol music, your icy eyes, your mask.

But that’s exactly why you’re taking a break. You need to separate your worth from the music attached to your name. You need to prove to yourself that you’re more than what the critics and magazines say. And you’re only realizing it now that you can’t do it alone.

If only you had your own jk.seagull in your life. You’re sure the two of you would mesh well together.

“Where is that kid?” Taehyung pats the empty seat next to him before class starts. “He never skips class. I remember one time he literally rejected a date with a super cute girl because he ‘had to get to class’. Can you believe that?”

“Knowing Jungkook, I’d believe it,” you shrug. It does feel oddly empty without his presence, though.

“Oh really? You know all there is to know about the mysterious phenomenon that is Jeon Jungkook? It sounds like you guys got real acquainted on that date the other day.”

“It wasn’t a date, Taehyung. It was a meeting for a group project that you didn’t show up to.”

“Well it all evens out since Jungkook didn't show up today. Who knows, maybe you won’t show up tomorrow.”

“I’m sure he has a good reason for being absent. Unlike you.” You have to admit, it does worry you a little. Especially after the hints of doubt Jungkook expressed about his own beautiful art. You wish he knew how amazing of an artist he really is.

“What are you talking about? My reason was valid.”

“Having your cock sucked for five hours straight is not a valid reason, by the way.” You roll your eyes. “Let me guess, today you have a threesome scheduled after class and dinner date at 5?”

“Ouch, you don’t have to be so harsh, Y/N.” Taehyung pretends to be offended, but he doesn’t deny your comment either. “You’re really his type, you know.”

“I’m whose type?”

“Jungkook’s.”

“Where is this coming from all of a sudden?”

“I’ve said this before, but you’re a lot like Snow.”

“How?”

“In how you present yourself,” Taehyung says. “You and her both come across as cold and heartless, but somehow I don’t buy it.” He doesn’t buy what? That you’re just as much of a bitch on the inside too? Ha.

“Jungkook must have weird taste then,” you shrug. Because in your opinion, you’re not exactly an easy person to love.

“But-” Taehyung is cut off by the professor starting class. You don’t know what more he could’ve said to make you change your mind anyway.

“There won’t be any lecture for today’s class.” Your professor is busy typing away at her computer, perhaps trying to get caught up on paperwork and grading old assignments. “Instead, I want you all to take this time to work on your group projects. You may leave the classroom if you must, but remember to stay on task!”

With that, your classmates jam out of the room as if they were just freed from prison. You hear a couple of friends deciding which boba place to try out. Another group, the overachievers of the class, head somewhere outside to actually work on the project. Taehyung, too, looks as if there’s somewhere else he needs to be.

“So I-”

“Go ahead and get laid,” you sigh, shooing the boy away with your hand. “We’ll work next time when all three of us are here.”

“Thanks, Y/N! You get me,” Taehyung waves bye before dashing off.

You wave back as the hall clears out around you. It seems everyone else has found somewhere to go. Everyone except you.

But it’s fine. You’re fine.

Buzz! You jump at the sudden phone notification that seems to echo off the walls of the empty hall. Oh look, it’s a text from your only friend.

10:32AM jinnie❤️ “good morning ^O^// just checking in on you”

10:33AM jinnie❤️ “how are you holding up with everything?”

“I’m fine!” you mumble rather aggressively to yourself, sliding your ass down onto the filthy hallway floor before texting back. Your chunky guitar case sits in your lap like a baby so it doesn’t get dirty.

10:34AM Y/N “i miss seeing you at work everyday :((((”

10:34AM Y/N “lololololol jk”

10:35AM Y/N “fuck work, am i right”

10:36AM jinnie❤️ “Y/N”

10:37AM Y/N “😒”

10:37AM Y/N “im fine”

10:38AM jinnie❤️ “thats exactly what people say when theyre not fine”

But you are fine. You’re completely fine with sitting all alone in an empty hallway, texting your only friend who also happens to be your manager.

10:39AM jinnie❤️ “what are you doing now?”

You pick up your guitar and start walking away. Obviously, you can’t tell him what you were actually doing because it would worry him too much. But you can’t lie to him either.

10:41AM Y/N “if you really must know”

You wait until you arrive at your new location before answering Seokjin’s million-dollar question. You’ve found your place.

10:45AM Y/N “im practicing in the music room before my theory class starts”

He sends you the Surprised Pikachu meme but also a few supportive comments.

10:46AM jinnie❤️ “good luck!”

10:46AM jinnie❤️ “and if you ever need something, please reach out to me!”

10:47AM jinnie❤️ “ill be checking in on you every now and then, but please enjoy your time off~”

10:48AM Y/N “thank you seokjin”

With your manager off your back, you settle into the empty music classroom and pull your trusty guitar out of its case. The flat and out of tune strings remind you of how long it’s been since the last time you touched the guitar. Because despite carrying it around wherever you go, it’s all for show.

In all honesty, you’re too afraid to let others hear, and yet, part of you wants them to know. You want them to know you’re an artist in your own right—without the judgment. But that’s asking for too much from this cruel world. Especially when you know you aren’t there yet.

One by one, you turn the pegs on your guitar, fine tuning each string by ear. That’s always been your secret talent, and maybe that’s how you’ve never been off-key since the moment you said your first words. If there was one thing you had going for you as an idol, it was that.

Once all the strings are tuned, you just sit there, staring at your fingers curved naturally in the C chord position. The muscle memory is still very much ingrained in you, but so are the scars. The last time you actually held your guitar, you were told you weren’t good enough. So you ended up settling for something else.

Today, however, you want to change that. You shouldn’t let several people’s opinions determine what you can or can’t amount to just because they were the professionals of the industry who supposedly “knew” what they were doing. They didn’t know you then, and they certainly don’t know you now. They don’t even know your real name.

But that’s okay. Having a secret identity makes you feel as though you can someday become a true superhero, someone who makes the world a better place from behind the scenes. In that sense, you want to be someone like your current favorite person on the internet, jk.seagull. You don’t know him, nor do you know his real name.

All you know is that his craft makes you happy.

With the funny fanfic boy in mind, you glance up to make sure the coast is clear before taking your first strum. Despite the dullness of your old worn-out strings, what your ears hear is crisp and bright.

You aren’t sure how much time has passed since you began singing along to a melody only you know, but you’re suddenly pulled back into reality with a single mention of her from outside the classroom.

“What do you think about the Snow news?”

“It’s honestly sad.”

“With how little she contributes to her music, I really don’t think she deserves a break.”

“She should just keep going. How hard is it to sing a few songs? I hope she knows she’s letting a lot of people down just so she could relax.”

“Or better yet, she should just retire early.”

You set down your guitar on the piano bench. You’ve heard quite enough and you’re ready to slam the door on the noisy group passing by. But by the time you peek your head out from the crack, the group is already at the other end of the hall. You do, however, find a surprise sitting right outside the music room.

The boy who was supposedly too sick to come to class is too busy sketching away to notice you staring at him.

“How long have you been sitting out here?”

The tiny hairs on the back of the boy’s neck stand up as his drawing hand freezes at the sound of your voice. He turns around, looking up at you as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.

“Since I started sketching.” Jungkook shows you a simple yet pretty drawing of a flowery spring field. By his art standards, it couldn’t have taken him long to draw that one page.

But it isn’t until you start flipping through the rest of the pages in the sketchbook that you realize he’d been sitting there for quite a while. Each page is similar to the last with only slight differences in between. When you fly through the pages like a flipbook, you see the whole picture.

From the first sketch of spring flowers, snow slowly covers the field until only a single flower remains in a winter wonderland. If you go in reverse, you can watch as the snow melts away until that one flower disappears amongst its brethren.

“What kind of flower is that?” You point to the one that somehow managed to blossom through the thickness of the snow. Maybe if it were colored in, you’d have a better idea.

“A strong one?” Jungkook shrugs as if he’s not the artist who knows the the answer. You hate yourself for cackling along at his lousy joke. He closes his sketchbook as a way to change the subject. “Why aren’t you in class?”

“Funny you should ask. The professor dismissed our class to work on the group projects. And then Tae ditched to go do his usual skirt-chasing shenanigans because somebody in our group didn’t show up.”

“Sorry,” the boy bites his lower lip with a hint of regret. “I didn’t really feel well enough to sit in class today.”

“Then why didn’t you just stay at home?”

“I still had this project to turn in and finish for my other class.” He raises his sketchbook. “And besides, music is the best medicine.”

You feel your cheeks burning up. The last person you expected to catch you messing around with your guitar in the music department was the art student who was supposed to be out sick. “How much did you hear…?”

“All I heard was one song…” He assures you for a slight second before going in for the kill, “…that you kept replaying over and over and over-”

“I get it. You heard a lot,” you hiss. “You better not tell anyone! Not even Tae.”

“I won’t,” he promises, chuckling at your distress. It seems the kid’s gotten comfortable enough around you to start clowning you. “It’s a nice song, by the way.”

“Really?” You want to believe him, but you have a hard time doing so. When all you’ve heard was brutal criticism for the past few years, it’s difficult to accept any compliment without feeling like there’s ill intent behind it. It feels wrong to feel good about yourself.

Besides, maybe he’s just complimenting you out of obligation. Like he’s trying to be nice, even if he doesn’t actually feel that way about your song.

“I’ll burden the pain so you don’t have to,” he says.

“What?”

“That’s a line from the lyrics, right?”

You nod.

“It’s a very Y/N thing to say.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jungkook shrugs and swirls his Sailor Venus keychain around his index finger. “Just take it as a compliment, Y/N.”

If not for his soft teasing smile, your mind would still be filled with doubt. Instead, you accept the compliment and gain a tiny bit of confidence back.

“Come in for a second,” you start walking back inside the music room. “And close the door behind you.”

Jungkook does as he’s told, his eyes glued to your guitar as you pick it up off the piano bench. There, you do something you’ve never practiced but had always hoped to perform as Snow—your own acoustic version of one of your songs.

It doesn’t matter that you’ve never practiced or touched your guitar in years. You know the key, the chords, the strum pattern. And you know how to make it your own. Not Snow’s or anyone else’s.

When you’re done with your mini acoustic performance, the boy can’t help but chuckle. He’s about to clown you again. You can feel it.

“What??”

“It’s nothing.”

“Jungkook.”

“It’s seems like you don’t hate Snow as much as you lead on.”

“I was only trying to show how I would’ve done the song if I were her.”

“Ah, so you criticize Snow so much because you think you can do better?”

“Not necessarily better… just differently.” You hope that answer is enough to satisfy the boy. But it’s not. He only nods with an awfully suspicious smirk. “What now??”

“It’s cool that you want to be a songwriter.”

“I never said that I did,” you say with a slight pout and hmph. You’ve never once mentioned your true dreams to anyone besides maybe some random kid at camp when you were ten. You’d hate to announce your bold aspirations with the utmost confidence, only to flop and fail before achieving anything. You’d rather keep it a secret until you perhaps “pop-off” as the kids say.

“Sure.” He doesn’t believe you.

“Are you always this sassy when you’re sick?”

His long locks flow as he shakes his head. “I’m feeling better now, actually. Thanks to your medicine.”

Maybe the kid was faking his sickness all along. Then again, Taehyung did say Jungkook wasn’t the type to skip class under most circumstances. Perhaps there was something else that was bothering him.

“Wait, you weren’t upset about Snow’s hiatus, right?” You remember the gossip from the noisy group that had passed by earlier. The beating you took from their words still stings.

“To be honest, I was worried about her at first with everything that went on,” Jungkook says. “But I think she probably just needed some time away from all that.”

“Probably,” is all you say, doing your best to downplay the amount of relief his words gave you. He isn’t upset or let down; he just wishes the best for your well-being. And as an idol, that’s all you’ve ever asked for. “You know, you’re the nicest Snow fan I’ve ever met.”

“You know a lot of other Snow fans?” Jungkook tilts his head at your odd statement. Oh right. You’ve only really met other fans as Snow, not as Y/N. Now you sound suspicious.

“Oh yeah, for sure. My friend, Seokjin, reads Snow smut all the time,” you force out a laugh while making a mental apology to your manager. Then you decide it’s best to change the subject before you blow your cover. “Speaking of fanfiction, I need your opinion on Witch Hazel!”

“What about it?”

“The new bunny character.” You whip out your phone for direct reference of the comic. “He’s funny, right?”

“He’s good at teasing Snow,” Jungkook looks at your phone screen of the bunny saying that Snow thinks he’s cute. “I wonder if he’ll make her fall for him.”

“I want him to.” Your eyes light up without knowing. To have Snow fall in love is wishful thinking, but a large part of you craves romance deep down—even if it’s only for the fictional version of yourself. “But at the same time, he’s not Snow’s type.”

“What’s Snow’s type?”

“Huh?” You somehow managed to fuck up again, so you shrink yourself and hope to disappear. “I don’t know… Why would I know what Snow’s type is…? It’s probably not a playboy like the bunny, but I wouldn’t know that…!”

“So you think she’d like someone more… considerate?”

You nod. “Probably just someone who takes the time to get to know her.”

“I guess we’ll see in the upcoming chapters.”

“I’m looking forward to it.” You can’t quite hold back a smile. After all, your day always feels a lot better when it involves your favorite little comic.

Jungkook must’ve noticed your face because he makes a comment. “I am curious, though, as to why you like Witch Hazel so much when you clearly don’t care for Snow herself.”

“For me, it has nothing to do with Snow.” To mask your smile, you make a cute duck face instead. “Reading it just… makes me happy.” As much as you’d hate to admit it, it’s been a long time since anything has given you good vibes the way that one comic does.

“That’s good,” the boy says, gathering his things to head to his next class. “It’s the same for me with Snow’s music… in case you were wondering.” And with that, he leaves you with something to think about.

If Snow’s music is Jungkook’s medicine, Witch Hazel is yours.

By the time you get home from school, you’re still smiling like an idiot after what Jungkook had said. Snow’s music makes him happy, and the mere thought of that makes you happy. It’s in (very rare) times like this that you remember why you chose to become an idol in the first place. It’s why you endure the pain.

With your mind clouded in an unfamiliar wave of emotion, you pull out your phone and tap on Jungkook’s contact information. After changing his contact name to something cuter, you start composing a casual message just to say hi.

Jungkook. What if I told you a secret?

Delete. You’ve never deleted a message so quick. You don’t even know which secret you would’ve told the boy. That you’re his crush, Snow? Or that he’s yours? Not that you have a huge crush on him… You swear it’s just a tiny one!

Regardless, you shouldn’t be sharing any of your deepest secrets with him—at least not for now. It’s not that you don’t trust him. It’s just that it’s a tricky situation to be in.

Your eyes move from your guitar, to the stacks of handwritten sheet music beside it, to the album that won you your first award—where the pain all began. Even the most supportive fan could not imagine what you’ve given up to be the idol that you are, to be someone with a name.

The only thing you can do now is take it all back. And only then will you let Jungkook in. But until that time comes, you don’t belong to him or anyone else.

4:44PM Snow “Are you free to talk?”

4:46PM Jimin “Yeah”

#bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts angst #jungkook fanfic #btsboulangerie #bts fluff #bts imagines #jungkook x reader #bts college au #bts idol au #jungkook #bts #bangtan #witch hazel

215 notes · View notes

awesomewonderindafleshthings · 4 years

Text

so i made a tumblr account just for this and it may sound crazy but i just need to get this out there. so lately my parents have been real assholes and its not like this was new this is something they have constantly been doing and i’m sick and tired of it. its affecting me mentaly and emotionaly for example a few days ago i worked my ass off for 2 hours just cleaning the house and she came downstairs and forced me to go do exersise because in her own words i’m fat useless and stupid(said at differnt times hurtful none the less) i was super tired and all she was doing was sitting in her room watching netflix while i was working and i was like but i worked 2 hrs can i just take a break but all she did was yell at me insulting me saying i’m a fatass who needs to go outside and i’ve been kinda nervous about going outside cause of the rona and i was like can i just exersise inside but NOO she said i worry about the littilest things like i may just be a teenager but i care about my life i’m not ready to die just yet. and as if that wasnt enough for her i went into my room and started crying cause i was on my period and we i have quite the emotional baggage also she just insulted me so i think a crying sesh was needed but the thing is i dont cry alot its just not my thing i just go on the internet and look at memes its my coping mecanism(ps dont mind my spelling i’m terrible at spelling) then she came in my room and saw me crying then she was like why are u crying and i was like nothing then she was like WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY NOTHING U ARE OBVIOSLY CRYING WHY ARE YOU CRYING TELL ME NOW so i ended up not telling her but i just kept crying to spite her i mean she is making my life shit so what goes around comes around in this case the only time i would accept the coming around is if she dies and thats a tad to drastic.apperently my crying was making her uncomfortable and now i need a therapist to take care of the damge that they did(i only know this cause she kept yelling STOP CRYING YOU ARE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE) then my dad came in and they started yelling at me saing its because i’m mentally unstable and its because i stay in my room all the time so i kept crying they still dont know that the reason i was crying was because of them but they’ll learn. In the mean time i’m counting down the years till i go to university cause that means i wont have to see them. after all of this its no surprise that i hate my mom now lets talk about my dad he’s WAYYYYY better that my mom but there is some set backs e.g he has anger issues. now lets go back to the main problem MOTHER she is not only making my like miserable she’s making EVERYONE in our house miserable like my little bro who’s 6 almost 7 was crying and she just ignored him and today he was having a tantrum and screaming i’m not happy but all she sai was i dont care i mean WHAT so my brother when to lock himself in the hallway closet and i had to calm him down. so idk about everyone else but if someone accuses you of something you didnt do you defend yourself right? well not in my case if you did something wrong and ur parents say you did it youdid it because afterall they know best!!!! well thats exactly what happend and now my only coping mechanism is being taken away from me. what happend was MOTHER made soap and put in in molds and one would do she asked me to go get an item from the basement i went and didnt find the item fastforward a few hours later she went to go check on the soap there was a mess she blamed the mess on me and i was like sorry to break it to ya but i did not do that and apperntly that was rude? so um my laptop is being taken away which is why i’m doing this because i dont think this is fair it may just be me. also she said she was gona disown me curse me and take me back to my home country(i currently live in canada) apperntly the situation to deal with a misbehaving child is to take them back to worse condtions so thats nice. as for the disowning um i already beat her to it but i will gladly make it offical that she’s not MOTHER anymore. i could name a thousand more senarios like there was one were she was arguing with me or more like yelling and spitting in my face and my dad was siding with me then she barged into my room and accused me of trying to ruin her marriage and that she gave birth to me i mean idk if i’m the only one but the holds the fact that i was born over my head every single time she’s like do you have another mother somwhere and in my head i’m like i fucking wish i just serched up if i can put myself up for adoption and sadly i cant so thats sad i’ve been looking for ways to make money so i can save up enough so when i’m 18 i can hopefuly move out i’m planning on going to university so i might just live in a dorm but that shit is expensive. i just dont wanna live with her anymore everyone in our house if FED up like my dad has practicaly given up she is making everyone miserable and she does all this and more then she’s always yelling at me about being on my laptop all the time or being in my room all the time and its cause of them and they dont see anything wrong with what THEY are doing its what I’M doing. everything i say is disrespecful everything i DO i rude so what the fuck do they want me to do DIE? i mean she makes me want to do that anyway. SO that is all i wrote this because i wanted to and she is taking away my laptop like i said before and i wasnt gonna give up cause i lernt not to allow the things she said get to me i just ignore it and dance.

2 notes · View notes

ptony2009-blog · 4 years

Text

H2holbro22's Xanga Blog 1.1 7431748 H2holbro22's Xanga Site h2holbro22 [email protected] H2holbro22 H2holbro22 [email protected] H2holbro22 Thu, 29 Sep 2005 23:06:56 -04:00 Hey everyone! How is it goin? My day started off really bad because my favorite necklace fell off this morning and I didn't realize it... until I got on the bus of course. Luckily, I stepped on it when I got off the bus and now I'm wearing it lol. I can't just get another necklace like that becuz I got it as a gift from my friend when he went to another country. Today in ecology, we went outside and collected grasshoppers for a lab and we found 2 grasshoppers on top of each other lmao. Anyways, I'm just throwing my hackysack up in the air cuz I'm bored as hell and it's a school night. Btw, I think I'm getting some kind of "signs" becuz everytime i look at the clock, it's either 3:33, 5:55, or 12:34. It's really freaking me out. But regardless, at 12:00 tonight, it will be Monday, September 13th, 2005 and the new Trapt cd will come out!!! Yeah I'm definitly gonna get that tomorrow. I'm also gonna go over to Sarah's house and get sick with her lol! She's feeling sick so chances are, I will get sick too, but I don't care. I actually like being sick in a way... you get more attention, you get lots of soup, you can stay home from school, parents do whatever you say! Ugh but then there is that damn cough syrup Robitussin stuff that tastes like kerosene mixed with antifreeze . Oh yeah, I saw the worst thing when I was driving with my dad a few days ago. A squirrel got ran over by a car, but it was squirming around before it died and blood was going everywhere. It was pretty sad. So does anyone have the newest Good Charlotte cd? I've been listening to that lately and it's pretty good. I like a bunch of the songs and I even put "Predictable" in my stereo thing. Yeah enough of the randomness....

So on Friday, Sarah came over to my house and we went out to eat at O'Charley's and then we went to Pet Supplies Plus. The parrot was saying "hello" to us... at one point, I tried to make the parrot say "bitch" but it didnt work lol. After that, we hung out at my house and kinda watched Freddy Got Fingered.. wow thats a hilarious movie. Then on Saturday, I went to see The Exorcism of Emily Rose with Sarah and a few of the parts made me jump lol. Even though I knew something was gonna jump out. It wasn't that bad of a movie.. it was based on a true story too! After that, I went to visit my uncle in the hospital... he got ran over by a truck and now he is in a coma... I couldn't even look at him, it was pretty bad... but eventually we left the hospital and got home. Then I went over to Sarah's and we watched the OSU vs. Texas game. On Sunday, me and Joe played hackysack and Kart for a while. After that, me and Sarah saw The Cave and it wasn't really that great, so I wouldn't recommend seein it. It was boring at a lot of parts... it reminded me of one of the many repeated movies that they show on the Sci-Fi channel. But it was still fun because I got to be with Sarah! I can always have fun around Sarah, even if were just sitting on a concrete sidewalk doing nothing.

This part right here is for you Sarah, since it might seem like I never really take the time to say stuff... but even though I don't usually express my feelings through Xanga, yeah lol. SARAH YOU'RE AN AMAZING GIRLFRIEND AND I LOVE YOU!!! I don't know why it feels like I've known you for years, but I think its cuz I can talk to you about anything and everything... so you've become really close to me in such a short period of time.. 1 month and 8 days to be exact. You mean soo much to me, and I don't wanna lose you. I know I won't though because I totally trust you. You always know how to cheer me up, whether its in person, on the phone, through a text, or whatever else. Don't ever worry about losing me because the only way that would happen is if I died, or if you were to cheat on me or something like that (which you wouldn't lol). So I'm more likely to die than anything. But above anything, I love you soo much baby and don't EVER forget that!!!

Now for some pictures... I got a picture of my AWESOME drawings of a shoe and sunglasses and a picture of me attempting to BLIND my cat lol. Enjoy

Cya later everyone and please leave me some comments!

]]> 2005-09-12 22:17:49 2005-09-13 02:17:49 open Publish post 346791751 1 2005-09-12 22:22:00 2005-09-13 02:22:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 681123026 kinda watched the movie lol. ok well im going to get in the bed now. i love u so much baby! im gonna call u. XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOXO]]> 1 2005-09-12 22:24:00 2005-09-13 02:24:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 681128468 yay for shoes and crosseyed cats. i told you it would go crosseyed and it did. muahah. lol.

nice sandals today : )

]]> 1 2005-09-12 22:26:00 2005-09-13 02:26:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 681136291 chris!!! I never comment you anymore.. whats up with tha? lol. ill see ya around. lylab

muahz <3

]]> 1 2005-09-15 20:56:00 2005-09-16 00:56:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 686096226 ur drawings are sweet, wheres the shaver?]]> 1 2005-09-23 17:03:00 2005-09-23 21:03:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 699587982 1 2005-09-28 21:21:00 2005-09-29 01:21:00 lil_HunnyBunny [email protected] http://lil-hunnybunny.xanga.com/ 0 19957830 0 709456753 hey this hope. you dont know me but im heather's bestest best friend. i just wanted to say that you draw so fricken awsome!!!!!comment me back. cya

Hope

]]> 1 2005-10-21 20:37:00 2005-10-22 00:37:00 lil_HunnyBunny [email protected] http://lil-hunnybunny.xanga.com/ 0 19957830 0 751231697 Hey wats up random props

Peace <33Ashley

]]> 1 2006-07-30 21:46:00 2006-07-31 01:46:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 1154666342 Peace <33Ashley]]> 1 2006-08-10 12:42:00 2006-08-10 16:42:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 1165135698 H2holbro22 Thu, 08 Sep 2005 22:33:57 -04:00 Picture break!! Basically, Monica straightened my hair because we wanted to see what it would look like and it turned out looking pretty awesome. So heres just a few pics.. oh yea and my cat lol...

Not half bad. Yea leave some comments!

]]> 2005-09-08 22:33:57 2005-09-09 02:33:57 open Publish post 344126208 1 2005-09-09 15:13:00 2005-09-09 19:13:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 674699405 1 2005-09-09 20:36:00 2005-09-10 00:36:00 n1ckd33s [email protected] http://n1ckd33s.xanga.com/ 0 11164525 0 675254761 ok, enough of my "gay hairstylist specialist" attitudeIt rocks though, wear it like that more often, 'chicks 'ill dig it']]> 1 2005-09-09 23:08:00 2005-09-10 03:08:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 675505483 1 2005-09-10 10:02:00 2005-09-10 14:02:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 675994007 hey! thanks for the comment. actually i dont go to central anymore. im at north for career center for the semester. its kinda good though, i get to get away from everyone. but yeah, ill be back at central next semester which is pretty good <3 im so fucking happy we won last night! omg, it was just AWESOME you missed out on a PERFECT game, i dont know. we deserved to win so im happy about that, but illl talk to you later babe! IM me sometime -RUK ME HARDx3-]]> 1 2005-09-10 13:32:00 2005-09-10 17:32:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 676344488 1 2005-09-10 16:56:00 2005-09-10 20:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 676696691 I see you like Soccer and Chipotle me to..]]> 1 2005-10-25 22:37:00 2005-10-26 02:37:00 PyRoKiTtY14 [email protected] http://pyrokitty14.xanga.com/ 0 3592951 0 759118122 H2holbro22 Wed, 07 Sep 2005 23:35:28 -04:00 Hey peeps! Here i decided to fill out a survey that i got from my my baby, so just check it out. There are a few interesting answers here lol:

( ) Smoked a joint.( ) Crashed a car.( ) Stolen a car.(x) Been in love.( ) Had a threesome.(x) Been dumped.( ) Shoplifted.( ) Been fired.(x) Been in a fist fight.(x) Snuck out of the house.(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.( ) Been arrested.( ) Made out with a stranger.(x) Gone on a blind date.(x) Lied to a friend.( ) Had a crush on a teacher.( ) Been to Europe.(x) Skipped school.( ) Seen someone die.( ) Been to Canada.( ) Been to Mexico.(x) Been on a plane.( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.( ) Thrown up in a bar.( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire.(x) Eaten Sushi.(X) Been snowboarding(x) Met someone from the internet in person( ) Been moshing at a concert.( ) Been in an abusive relationship.(x) Taken painkillers.(x) Love someone or miss someone right now.(x) Laid and watched cloud shapes go by.(x) Made a snow angel.( ) Had a tea party.(x) Flown a kite.(x) Built a sand castle.(x) Gone puddle jumping.(x) Played dress up.(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves.(x) Gone sledding.(x) Cheated while playing a game.(x) Been lonely.(x) Fallen asleep at work/school( ) Used a fake ID.(x) Watched the sun set.( ) Felt an earthquake.(x) Touched a snake.( ) Slept beneath the stars.(x) Been tickled.( ) Been robbed.(x) Been misunderstood.(x) Pet a reindeer/goat.(x) Won a contest.( ) Run a red light.( ) Been suspended from school.(x) Been in a car accident.(x) Had braces.(x) Felt like an outcast.( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.(x) Had deja vu.( ) Danced in the moonlight.( ) Hated the way you look.(x) Witnessed a crime.( ) Pole danced.( ) Been obsessed with post-it notes.(x) Walked barefoot through the mud.(x) Been lost.( ) Been to the opposite side of the world.( ) Swam in the ocean.( ) Felt like dying.( )Cried yourself to sleep

(x) Played cops and robbers.(x)Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.(x)Sung karaoke(x) Paid for a meal with only coins.(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.(x) Made prank phone calls.(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.( ) Danced in the rain.(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus.(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe.( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about.(x) Blown bubbles.( ) Had a bonfire on the beach.( ) Crashed a party.(x) Gone rollerskating.(x) Had a wish come true.(x) Worn pearls.( ) Jumped off a bridge.( ) Screamed the word penis in public.( ) Ate dog/cat food.( ) Told a complete stranger you loved them.( ) Kissed a mirror.(x) Sang in the shower.( ) Owned a little black dress.(x) Had a dream that you married someone.(x) Glued your hand to something.( ) Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole.( ) Kissed a fish.(x) Worn the opposite sex's clothes.( ) Been a cheerleader.(x) Sat on a roof top.(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.( ) Done a one-handed cartwheel.(x) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours.(x) Stayed up all night.(x) Didn't take a shower for a week( ) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.(x) Climbed a tree.(x) Had a tree house.( ) Are scared to watch scary movies.( ) Believe in ghost.( ) Have more than 30 pairs of shoes.( ) Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say.( ) Gone streaking.(x) Played ding-dong-ditch.(x) Played chicken.(x) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on.(x) Been told you're hot by a complete stranger.( ) Broken a bone.(x) Been easily amused.(x) Caught a fish then ate it.(x) Caught a butterfly.(x) Laughed so hard you cried.( ) Cried so hard you laughed.(x) Mooned/flashed someone.(x) Had someone moon/flash you.(x) Cheated on a test(x) Forgotten someone's name.(x) Slept naked.( ) French braided someone's hair.( ) Grown a beard.( ) Belong to the KKK.( ) In love with an older person(x) Tired of this survey

Well leave some comments, cuz I know there are kool people that always do . Cya later guys!

]]> 2005-09-07 23:35:28 2005-09-08 03:35:28 open Publish post 343536649 hey honey.....when did u wittness a crime??

I LOVE YOU!!!!

]]> 1 2005-09-08 16:56:00 2005-09-08 20:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 673159705 H2holbro22 Tue, 06 Sep 2005 20:02:59 -04:00 Hi. How's it going? I'm gonna write in this while I'm waiting for dinner lol... I had to survive the day by eating a banana, a granola bar, and a Twix. So when i got home, i ate like everything (an entire bag of goldfish crackers, a sandwich, and a hot pocket). I just didnt feel too great today so i hardly ate. I'm getting really sick of hearing Yellowcard lol... that damn violin is getting annoying.

Alright well me and Sarah's 1 month was 2 days ago, how kool is that? We went to Mi Mexico II and hung out. Then yesterday we saw the Dukes of Hazzard and then went back to my house and watched Blue Streak (i love that movie) and then we walked over to Joe's house lol. After me and Sarah hung out, i went to Mejiers with Joe to buy his bro a b-day present. We chose a card out that said "a happy birthday to my favorite granddaughter" or sumthin lol. And we got him Reese Sticks cuz he used to be obsessed with those lol. Btw i got a dvd called Freddy Got Fingered lol. That movie is hilarious cuz Tom Green is in it haha.

Well its time for me to eat dinner! Damn I'm freakin hungry. I have a few more things to say before i go...

I get my drivers license in 4 days!!

Watch out for camels when you're driving around in the dark!

Leave me a lot of comments, thx guys! Cya later!!

]]> 2005-09-06 20:05:19 2005-09-07 00:05:19 open Publish post 342704024 1 2005-09-06 20:09:00 2005-09-07 00:09:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 670027136 1 2005-09-06 20:36:00 2005-09-07 00:36:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 670105393 <3

random comment

hows school?

]]> 1 2005-09-06 21:03:00 2005-09-07 01:03:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 670184335 you know when you get your liscense you're so driving me home sometimes. mhmm. because you love me that much. yes, admit that you do! haha. mmk. that's all i got. <3]]> 1 2005-09-06 21:45:00 2005-09-07 01:45:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 670318186 umm....HELL NO HE AINT DRIVIN U HOME!!!! My fucking boyfriend thank u very much!!! He will be driving ME home.....

im sorry to break it to u baby, but that movie SUX BALLZ!!

but i still fucking love you so much more than u will ever know!!!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

tell humphry i said wuts up!! lol

]]> 1 2005-09-07 20:20:00 2005-09-08 00:20:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 671902716 H2holbro22 Wed, 31 Aug 2005 22:25:14 -04:00 Hey everyone! First of all, I'm trying to figure out why i have all of these options at the top of this page... i can like change the colors and highlight my writing and stuff lol. Anyways, school has finally started and it's actually going pretty good. Most of my classes are pretty great. The only class that I don't like is algebra 2. It's pretty boring and were doing a lot of graphing calculator stuff. And my spanish name is based off of a very tasty food... NACHO! Yeah lol, lets see here.. I have a government project due on Friday too, and it's gay foreign policies. I dont really know what that is either. Wow this is gonna be a long year lol. Especially with my drawing class... I'm either gonna slack off the whole semester and complain about how my drawings are worse than everyone else's OR ill start to be really good at drawing and impress people with my pictures. It should all be fun tho!

Ok enough school lol! I've been listening to The Used a little and I also got the new Fall Out Boy cd a few days ago. I listen to the old Fall Out Boy cd as much as the new one... in fact, I think the old one is better than the new one! Cuz it has Grand Theft Autumn and Dead On Arrival and a whole bunch of other kickass songs. You should get the cd if you don't already have it.

I had my last in-car today and the damn instructor was 30 minutes late! She picked me up from school and she blamed me for being on the student pick-up side of the school. What a fuckin retard... she wanted to pick me up on the bus side of the school. Oh well, I'm tired so I'll stop here. Leave me some comments, cya!

]]> 2005-08-31 22:25:14 2005-09-01 02:25:14 open Publish post 338808565 i talked to you today while you were waiting for your in-car. but yeah, it was cool finally getting to talk to you for once since i only see you a couple times during the day. mhmm. i liked your shirt. just thought i would let you know. haha. i'm really random. it's like 12:30am. i should be sleeping, but i can't because i fell asleep when i came home from school. plus, i've still got some spanish homework to finish up.

haha your spanish name is nacho?! some kid in our class chose that & our teacher was like, if he picks that name, you have to promise not to laugh every time i say it. lol. it's dumb but yeah. my spanish name is catalina. how, hot? lol. but yeah.

i love you cristoffer! yes, that's how i want to spell your name so DEAL!

mmk. byee! <3

]]> 1 2005-09-01 00:33:00 2005-09-01 04:33:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 659836765 1 2005-09-01 14:46:00 2005-09-01 18:46:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 660412506 ]]> 1 2005-09-03 13:06:00 2005-09-03 17:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 663746757 1 2005-09-04 17:18:00 2005-09-04 21:18:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 665878093 I know I few people at Central. Who do you know at North?]]> 1 2005-09-05 11:23:00 2005-09-05 15:23:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 667148961 I know all of them... except the Amanda girl. From central I know Sara Frye, Jenny Yan, I knew Luke, and some others that went to my Middle School and stuff.]]> 1 2005-09-05 12:10:00 2005-09-05 16:10:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 667241044 1 2005-09-05 12:42:00 2005-09-05 16:42:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 667306392 1 2005-09-05 17:47:00 2005-09-05 21:47:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 667892819 uhh.. lauren stopped taking spanish. heh.

Donde esta mi pantalones?

Dos gatos in sus zapatos.

]]> 1 2005-09-06 19:18:00 2005-09-06 23:18:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 669885645 H2holbro22 Tue, 23 Aug 2005 23:11:33 -04:00 Hey everyone. Here's just a quick update to tell all of you my schedule becuz I'm getting tired of typing it out to everyone lol. So check it out and comment me if you have a class with me or something. Alright!SEMESTER 1

1- Spanish 3

2-US Government 2

3- Contemporary Lit.

4- Lunch

5-Algebra 2

6- Drawing 1

7- Ecology

8- Study Hall

SEMESTER 2

1- Spanish 3

2- Contemporary Lit.

3-Contemporary Lit. (again?)

4- Lunch

5- Algebra 2

6- Health

7- Ecology

8- US Government 1

Yeah my schedule is pretty screwed up. But anyways, comment me if you have a class with me... or better yet, lunch! Becuz most of my friends are in a different lunch period than me and it SUCKS! Cya later!

]]> 2005-08-23 22:39:06 2005-08-24 02:39:06 open Publish post 333393266 1 2005-08-23 23:05:00 2005-08-24 03:05:00 CrazzyRaz2007 [email protected] http://crazzyraz2007.xanga.com/ 0 18657764 0 644916663 nope.. lauren has 5th period lunch..

and easy classes.

]]> 1 2005-08-23 23:15:00 2005-08-24 03:15:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 644940129 ah! ill be at north for the first semester. and the second semester we have ONE thing together -FIRST PERIOD!-

and the class we do got together, we cant speak ENGLISH!! lmao.

]]> 1 2005-08-24 02:06:00 2005-08-24 06:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 645171399 Hey... random props, random comment. I was going thru the central blogring and came across your page. ((I'll be a freshman next year)).

Ha, love your taste in music, btw.

<333 Sydney

]]> 1 2005-08-24 13:19:00 2005-08-24 17:19:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 645614832 Even though things have been said and done w/e.Here for anyone out there who thinks I like chris just so you all know I dont.I DID think of him as my best friend and that was all.you can have feelings and love someone as nothing but a 100% awesome friend without it meaning anything but that...a friendship.Now that its no longer there those of you that wanted it like that can be happy.As for you chris thanks for standing by me in the times when you did.You were a great friend!]]> 1 2005-08-29 13:34:00 2005-08-29 17:34:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 654705009 1 2005-08-29 16:42:00 2005-08-29 20:42:00 Junsei_tsuraien [email protected] http://junsei-tsuraien.xanga.com/ 0 19118483 0 654964300 H2holbro22 Tue, 16 Aug 2005 00:36:41 -04:00 Hola everyone. It's update time! Well I'll give a summary of my past few days. Sarah came back from New York on Sunday so we went to the fair for a while. It felt so good to see her again! We didn't go on any rides becuz they were kinda lame lol, but we walked around inside this building that had like everything in it. It was pretty neat becuz they had lots of random "products" on display. This one lady even offered to make rub Sarah's feet lol . And I got myself a pimped out plastic sheriff badge! Oh yeah!! Yeah the fair was fun tho. Then today was pretty boring during the day, but later on during the night, I went to Sarah's house for like 2 hours then we went to BW3's for a while. There were like 10 people there that I didn't know, but I still had fun. One kid even ate 12 hot wings in less than 5 minutes and he won a T-shirt lol. I ordered 8 boneless wings and I ate 1 really hot wing.. my lips still burn after 2 hours lol. And best of all, NBC 4 was there and supposedly were gonna be on TV later. I think they were there becuz of the smoking bans in restaurants. I was only TV one time before that lol... I did a commercial for the Bowling Palace when I was in 3rd grade and they gave me a damn mini chocolate bowling pin for all of that! I hope their business goes into bankruptcy! After BW3's we went to Kroger so all of the Kroger people could check their schedules and mess around in the finger condom/KY jelly/laxitive isle lol. Yeahh..

Anyways, I guess school is right around the corner and I gotta get school supplies! I even convinced my mom that I'm gonna need an iPod b4 school starts lol, so I might get one tomorrow with this $160 voucher I have. I will have to find a way to cram all of my songs onto that thing lol. Ok well I'm to sleep or something right now cuz I'm really bored. Leave some comments! Cya later!

]]> 2005-08-16 00:36:41 2005-08-16 04:36:41 open Publish post 327918781 oh wow its chris!

golly gee its getting late...

wow im so bored.. umm. hi!

]]> 1 2005-08-16 04:04:00 2005-08-16 08:04:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 629800976 1 2005-08-16 16:22:00 2005-08-16 20:22:00 n1ckd33s [email protected] http://n1ckd33s.xanga.com/ 0 11164525 0 630590370 1 2005-08-17 15:46:00 2005-08-17 19:46:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 632558383 1 2005-08-18 17:43:00 2005-08-18 21:43:00 TraiIsMyName [email protected] http://traiismyname.xanga.com/ 0 15300814 0 634768991 1 2005-08-19 22:35:00 2005-08-20 02:35:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 637191636 1 2005-08-23 02:53:00 2005-08-23 06:53:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 643253581 H2holbro22 Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:52:31 -04:00 Hey everyone! So it's been about 6 days since I last updated.. i think. Right now I'm just eating bagel bites, listening to music, and writing in this lol. This week is going so damn slow. Sarah has been in New York for a week already... and she gets back on Sunday. It sucks to wait for so long...I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER! I wanna see her so badly... but were gonna go to the fair on Sunday, which is the last day. It will be awesome, but I hope it doesn't rain or something. I could've swore the fair was open until around the 20th.

Alright so basically I gotta get my temps renewed and then I can get my driver's license next month! After I take my tests of course. And I'm filling out an application for Pet Supplies Plus, yeahhh! I think it would be fun to work there.. i don't know why, but I really need a job. In fact, I went bowling yesterday and I didn't have enough cash so I had to count out a bunch of quarters to pay lol. It was pretty funny. Oh yeah, and I'm back in my workout routine so I'm not as bored anymore!

Ok.. STORY TIME!! Once upon a time, there were 3 kids... their names were Chris, Joe, and David. They got bored one day and decided to ride their bikes to Academy Park. They rode around on the dirt ramps for a while and then David had to go becuz he had work. Chris and Joe found a path shortly after that and followed it. While they were on the path, they spotted some hillybilly people swimming in the river . Their dog was with them and once the dog saw Chris and Joe, it got out of the water and jumped all over Chris with its muddy paws. Luckily, Chris and Joe escaped and continued on the path. Eventually, they ended up in a neighborhood and kept on going farther and farther until they reached Stygler Rd. They kept going until they saw a building that said "Huntington Banks". Then they realized that they were at the Huntington building in Easton! It took 2 hours for them to get that far so they decided to ride back home in amazement. On their ride home, they saw a girl who looked like Chubakah, so they really hurried home. They reached their own neighborhood in about 2 hours, but they were exhausted as hell so they went home. THE END!!

Ok well I made my xanga look a little kooler and I added about 5 songs to the stereo thing so CHECK THEM OUT!!! And I gotta go now so be sure to leave me some comments lol! Thx guys, cya later!

]]> 2005-08-11 15:52:31 2005-08-11 19:52:31 open Publish post 324806342 1 2005-08-12 11:56:00 2005-08-12 15:56:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622476004 1 2005-08-12 11:58:00 2005-08-12 15:58:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622479418 1 2005-08-13 19:31:00 2005-08-13 23:31:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 625068237 1 2005-08-13 21:06:00 2005-08-14 01:06:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 625210246 wow bout 3 of those entrys r from ur gf.. nice..lol hey man.. that story was off da chain lol well man im out.. call sumtime so we can fuckin hang out.. wanna play sum halo? yeah lets play sum halo.. WELL CMON .. OMG GGGGRRRR ARRGGG..lol my phone.. that was hillarious.. JASON HURRY THE FUCK UP WIT THAT SHIT..lmao good times bro.. aight after makin a huge fool of my self.. im gonna go.. later bro

David

]]> 1 2005-08-14 01:32:00 2005-08-14 05:32:00 WNHSgangsta22 [email protected] http://wnhsgangsta22.xanga.com/ 0 8985485 0 625709980 1 2005-08-15 03:08:00 2005-08-15 07:08:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 627652557 H2holbro22 Sat, 13 Aug 2005 15:14:47 -04:00 Hey guys! I'm updating this again, wow go me! Alright so basically the past two days have been pretty great. It all started yesterday night when I went to BW3's with David, Christina, and her friend Sarah. We just chilled there and had food... obviously lol. Then we rented Freddy Got Fingered and The Exorcist and went to Christina's house. Well, I liked Sarah ever since I first saw her and everything...she is really nice too! So then we all watched the movie lol. Freddy Got Fingered is one of the funniest movies ever omg, you guys gotta see it! Well we got half way thru the movie before we had to leave So then we all gave our goodbyes, then David drove me back to my house. After that, we all joined a chat room cuz Sarah was sleeping over at Christina's house and we all wanted to talk. At 3:00, David snuck out and we were planning on riding my sister's electric scooter around the block just for fun lol. But it wouldnt start so we went pegging around the block a few times.

Ok well anyways, we planned to go to the pool around noon the next day, so I had to wake up at 10:00... I don't know how I pulled it off lol. Well since I havent been swimming in forever, I forgot about how small my swimming trunks would be... wow, they went up about half a foot above my kneecap lol. So I gotta buy new swimming trunks lmao... and we didnt go to the pool so we all went over to Christina's house again, ordered pizza and I got to see Sarah! And this time, I knew Sarah liked me back so I felt so much more comfortable around her. Ok we watched the rest of Freddy Got Fingered, then some of The Exorcist (omg that movie sucked), we watched like 1/10 of The Notebook, then some of Mean Girls. Stupid chick flicks lol! But it wasnt that bad at all. After Christina's house, I went to Hometown Buffet with David's family and ate lots of food. Then me, David, Sarah, Christina, Brice, Hilary, and Kris went to BW3's after that. I couldn't eat anything there tho lol cuz i was already full. Here I'll just list the random events that happened here becuz it would take me forever to explain all of them lol.... Brice stuck celery up his nose, sneezed it out, and ate it! We were bothered by a drunk nurse in the parking lot! We drove around the plaza while Kris hung on the back of the van while riding on a skateboard! Those are the main weird things that happened lol. Then after that, David dropped Hilary off and then he was gonna drop me off after that. By that time, I liked Sarah so much that I asked her out before I went inside. And now we are going out... and I'm really really happy! She is going on a trip to New York 2morrow at 4:00 so were trying to go see a movie before she leaves... wow a whole week without seeing her will be hard to deal with lol. Ok well I'm gonna go cuz I wanna be able to wake up early 2morrow. Ill cya around ppl and please leave some comments guys!

]]> 2005-08-05 03:10:27 2005-08-05 07:10:27 open Publish post 320217501 im happy for you.

rawr.

]]> 1 2005-08-05 09:12:00 2005-08-05 13:12:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 608008544 <3]]> 1 2005-08-05 09:15:00 2005-08-05 13:15:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 608011249 1 2005-08-05 21:52:00 2005-08-06 01:52:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 609300599 1 2005-08-06 03:13:00 2005-08-06 07:13:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 609835131 well ttyl,~Trai "The MasterPiece" Brown~]]> 1 2005-08-06 03:51:00 2005-08-06 07:51:00 TraiIsMyName [email protected] http://traiismyname.xanga.com/ 0 15300814 0 609858648 1 2005-08-07 22:54:00 2005-08-08 02:54:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 612900203 1 2005-08-12 12:01:00 2005-08-12 16:01:00 sarahdollie15 [email protected] http://sarahdollie15.xanga.com/ 0 18600396 0 622484831 H2holbro22 Mon, 01 Aug 2005 01:23:25 -04:00 Hey guys! I know it takes me forever to update this thing, but you gotta understand that sometimes its boring to update lol. Well not much has changed here... yesterday was fun as hell tho. First of all, David's family was out of town so me and Joe stayed overnight there. Without parents... you can do ANYTHING! So thats what we did. We got some TP and tried to get one of our friends, but are plans got spoiled thanks to the fuckin dogs lol. Ok but David was driving us down Sunbury Rd and he is barely going over the speed limit when he passes a cop car lol... then we look in the rearview mirror and we see the cops lights start flashing! Luckily the left and right lanes were separated by concrete things. So we turned into a street and parked and then everything was fine. Basically we just messed around outside all night. In the morning around 10, we went to Krogers and got some waffles and whipped cream... has anyone had blueberry waffles w/ whipped cream? It's pretty good.

Friday sucked ass lol cuz my dad was moving and I had to help him move everything into a U-Haul truck and then take it to the new apartment. It wasn't hard at all, but I did it from 10:00 to 3:00 without eating anything. AND it was so damn boring. It was kinda funny though cuz my dad told me to watch my step while I was putting the coach in the truck and he hit his head on the top of the truck like 5 seconds later lol. And today, I fell asleep during the day!! And right when I fell asleep... my dad came over and woke me up and said "I need you to help me move some more things" blahh blah blah.. thats the worst way to wake up lol.

Yeah I made another mix cd with lots of kool songs including this techno remix to Yeah which is SO AWESOME!!! It has so much bass that you gotta hold on to the handles on the car just to sit still. If I ever find out how to upload music, then I'll put it on my xanga but I dont know how. PLEASE tell me if you know how. Speaking of music, I've been listening to the old Fall Out Boy cd and it's really awesome so everyone should listen to it! I'm gonna get the new one soon.. yeah. Ok that should be enough for now! LeAvE sOmE cOmMeNtS plzzzz!!

]]> 2005-08-01 01:23:25 2005-08-01 05:23:25 open Publish post 317185331 You didn't do it you dork!! I'm sad now! oh well ill be over it in like a sec....well im getting ready to go to practice so ill have to talk to you later

rachael mae

]]> 1 2005-08-01 09:24:00 2005-08-01 13:24:00 bananas_r_yummy [email protected] http://bananas-r-yummy.xanga.com/ 0 14989642 0 599453618 1 2005-08-02 03:03:00 2005-08-02 07:03:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 601413433 HEY CHRiS! i HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU iN FOREVER!!!!! WE NEED TO HANG OUT AGAiN! WELL COMMENT BACK iF YOU WANT!!!

<33 KATiE

]]> 1 2005-08-02 20:57:00 2005-08-03 00:57:00 kAtE0143 [email protected] http://kate0143.xanga.com/ 0 6045670 0 602853986 1 2005-08-04 21:33:00 2005-08-05 01:33:00 BestSisters22 [email protected] http://bestsisters22.xanga.com/ 0 15489530 0 607218648 1 2005-08-06 23:26:00 2005-08-07 03:26:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 611171248 H2holbro22 Fri, 22 Jul 2005 04:09:43 -04:00 YEAHHHH!! I fixed the damn comment thing so you can all send me comments again. I found out that the poll thing was causing the problem... I'll get it back eventually but not right now. Wow me and David just snuck out of the house and right when I walked out the door, we saw and heard the sirens of a cop car from behind 2 houses! It's bad enough that wre not allowed outside, but the cop car was speeding thru our neighborhood for some reason lol. Let's see... I'll talk a little about how things are goin now... well I started driving school 2 weeks ago and it's really boring. I have to go 2 days per week, 4 hours each day. Next week is my last week! Driver's ed isnt really that bad cuz I met some new peeps that I can talk to whenever. I went to Cedar Point again for 1 day too, this time it was for my dad's company picnic. Remember how Cedar Point was awesome for me last time? This time it was living hell lol. Hold on, lemme get my list of all the bad things... ok

1) I had 2 hours of sleep... thats my own fault i guess lol.

2) I had a headache that lasted from the night before thru the whole day.

3) It decided to rain nonstop the WHOLE time we were there.

4) The lines were packed to the edges so we didnt get to go on any rides at all.

5) The free food was disgusting.

6) We spent more time driving there and back than we spent in the park itself, so its basically a waste of time.

Lol thats mainly all. Wow I'm really lazy lol. That's why I wanna drive SOOO bad. And to kill some time and earn some money, I'm actually trying to get a job at Pet Supplies Plus!!!!!! Yes now doesnt that sound like a great place to work?? You get to move dog food and other things all day and its the only place hiring that is half decent lol. Well it's definitly 4 in the morning right now so I'm gonna get to bed. Me and Josh stayed up last night chilling so I'm really tired. Btw before I go, I have something for everyone who likes Trapt... theyre coming out with a new cd in September and they released 1 main song... its awesome and its called Stand Up. I tryed to find it EVERYWHERE, but the only place I can find it is http://www.trapt.com/ . You can listen to the song over and over if you stay on there. Yeah well with that, I'm out! I'm gonna take a new pic once I get my dad's camera too so that will be kool. Cya later everyone!!!

]]> 2005-07-22 04:09:43 2005-07-22 08:09:43 open Publish post 310298168 1 2005-07-23 20:25:00 2005-07-24 00:25:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 583261575 1 2005-07-24 00:13:00 2005-07-24 04:13:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 583635164 haha. ill c ya around. bye chris i heart u like a brother!!!!]]> 1 2005-07-24 00:45:00 2005-07-24 04:45:00 m2mizzle182 [email protected] http://m2mizzle182.xanga.com/ 0 6903196 0 583692433 hi chris.

sounds like a drag.

woo!

]]> 1 2005-07-25 10:18:00 2005-07-25 14:18:00 mylastgaspingbreath [email protected] http://mylastgaspingbreath.xanga.com/ 0 6269671 0 585795457 dude if you want a new awesome song check out WALKING DEAD by DJ Z TRIP and CHESTER BENNINGTON

Its my favorite song right now

and yeah my internet did fuck up for awhile, that sucked a ton of balls

]]> 1 2005-07-26 14:56:00 2005-07-26 18:56:00 Anonymous [email protected] 0 -1 0 588376996 1 2005-07-28 19:05:00 2005-07-28 23:05:00 Simplyclueless08 [email protected] http://simplyclueless08.xanga.com/ 0 12554444 0 593053176 hey chirs whats up nuttin here well just thought id leave you one ttyl

love you like friend

rachael mae

]]> 1 2005-08-01 00:49:00 2005-08-01 04:49:00 bananas_r_yummy [email protected] http://bananas-r-yummy.xanga.com/ 0 14989642 0 599124121 H2holbro22 Tue, 19 Jul 2005 14:52:50 -04:00 2005-07-19 14:52:50 2005-07-19 18:52:50 open Publish post 308366547 hey man heres a comment]]> 1 2005-07-22 03:23:00 2005-07-22 07:23:00 WNHSgangsta22 [email protected] http://wnhsgangsta22.xanga.com/ 0 8985485 0 580548276 H2holbro22 Mon, 11 Jul 2005 15:10:06 -04:00 Hey people! It's 2:22 right now and just woke up lol. Yeah I have a reason for going to bed so late last night. Ok listen up... I have a story to tell everyone lol. But remember... all of this is not to be told to anyone cuz it might cycle back to the victim. Ok well last night I'm just sitting on the computer listening to music and talking on AIM. Then David IMs me and tells me to meet him outside because Brian just got TPed. So I set everything up in the house to look like I'm asleep, grab the Cheezits, and then I sneak out. I walked down to Brian's house to see Brian and Joe in Joe's car. They told us that they found out who TPed him because they saw them drive away and yell something that obviously gave themselves away. Even though you need to be 18 to drive outside at 2:00, we got in Joe's car and decided to help Brian get revenge. We drove towards Kroger (I can't forget to mention the Rumpke truck that almost backed up into us. So we drove by him... Joe waved to him while I flicked him off lol). Once we were at Kroger, David and Brian ran inside and bought 48 rolls of TP. Ha you dont wanna know the excuse we had for buying all of that TP. Anyways, Joe drove to one of the kids houses (a kid that helped TP Brian) and we started throwing TP all over the trees and bushes. Me and David TPed the backyard while Joe and Brian TPed the front yard. Eventually, they came into the backyard and Brian was like, "Dude this isn't the right house... there isn't a basketball hoop in the front!" So were like damn...so we grabbed as much TP as possible from house and moved to the RIGHT house. That's where we seriously trashed the house up lol. We had a lot of spare TP so I even put some in their weeds. When we were done, it was like 3:15 and we weren't satisfied... so we got back in the car and drove to Meijer, and bought 48 more rolls of TP! By the way, the same kid who we TPed, called Brian's cell and asked him who the hell TPed his house. The kid got home right after we TPed him luckily lol... but Brian denied it anyways. Then we went to another kid's house and got ready to TP him. But thats when we noticed that the gas tank was empty...so we drove away and barely made it to a gas station. Since no1 else was on the road at that time, Joe turns the wrong way and starts driving on the complete wrong side of the road... it was hilarious. But then we go back to the kids house with a 1/4 tank of gas. This kid's house had so many trees so it was perfect to TP. So we TPed his house pretty bad and left. It was about 4 by this time so we decided to go back home before it got any later. Joe dropped everyone off at their houses, but I went to Joe's house for a sec so I could help him get out of trouble if his parent's were awake. Yeah and we also woke Ryan up so we could say Hi to him. After that, I left and ran home to my house and snuck back inside... my damn cat was meowing up a storm while I was opening the door tho. Basically, we got revenge x2 on them lol. But we also made some more targets that we are going after soon lol... so WATCH OUT!! nah j/k we usually only get people who go after us first. Well guys, I gotta go to an orthodontist appointment... I think I get to stop wearing my retainer! lol hopefully, but then after that I am starting my driving courses. So leave me some comments or something guys! Cya around!]]> 2005-07-11 15:10:06 2005-07-11 19:10:06 open Publish post 302630331 1 2005-07-11 20:09:00 2005-07-12 00:09:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 560685777 H2holbro22 Sun, 10 Jul 2005 00:19:53 -04:00 Hola! I know I never write in my xanga... sorry about that. And btw, there's no way in hell that I'm gonna write an entry as long as that last one ever again lol. Unless I go somewhere else and have a lot to say... but anyways, how is everyone doing? I haven't been doing much lately. I wish I could drive but I gotta wait until October to get my license. Fortunatly, I am starting my driving courses on Monday, so I can get that out of the way. I want to get a Tiburon too... its about $25k though so I may as well give it up lol. I also want to get a job and I cant get one because I can't drive there Oh well I guess I have a few more months to be lazy and do whatever else I want lol. I might even get to go to Cedar Point again on Friday because of my dad's company picnic.Usually they go to Wyandot Lake or King's Island, but Cedar Point is much better.

I really don't feel like writing, but I'll end this off with a fact... if you think you aren't afraid of anything, then try driving in the car with Joe! He made some awesome illegal turns and used a turning lane to pass up a car! Me and Joe can both be wreckless once I get my driver's license lol... I seem to forget about the speed limit from time to time. It's funny tho. Ok well I'm gonna go drink some more limeade lol. That stuff is really good and its better than lemonade. Cya later guys and girls!

BTW... THE GUYS CANT BE THE BEST PART ABOUT SUMMER!!! I cant believe the poll is getting taken over like that. Oh well, keep on voting and we will see what happens...

]]> 2005-07-10 00:20:26 2005-07-10 04:20:26 open Publish post 301539685 1 2005-07-10 00:29:00 2005-07-10 04:29:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 557453187 1 2005-07-10 18:03:00 2005-07-10 22:03:00 X_Her_LipXgloss_Poison_X [email protected] http://x-her-lipxgloss-poison-x.xanga.com/ 0 17113205 0 558446010

1 note · View note

julietteswiftie · 6 years

Photo

HEY T! Where do I start? Well first, my really poetic self is thanking you for the most 7 years of my life. Being in this fandom has brought me tears, of joy and sadness, so many friends that I got to meet at the show and so much more. Let’s go back in time, in summer 2011 I believe. I was in my cousin’s living room, back in Quebec, Canada, and my older cousin played You belong with me and as you may can tell, I fell in love with this 20 years old girl’s music. It was around this time that you came to Montreal for the Speak Now World Tour for the first time. At this point, I knew that I would follow you as I grow up for many years. Fast forward to 2012. Then, I changed school in 4th grade. I met these 2 girls, also fan of yours: Laurence and Maé. Actually, they became my two closest friends and they still are after 6 years. They also are the one who were willing to travel 8 hours to see you in Toronto. Anyways, I was quite shy at that time and didnt knew if they were nice or not. But Laurence quickly brought me into her group of friends wich another fan of yours was a part of: Marianne. She taught me A LOT about you ( Loft 89, the whole early 1989 era, etc). So, Laurence quickly convinced me to do the school talent show to perform one of your songs. In the middle of the Red Era, we hesitated between We are never ever getting back togheter or I knew you were trouble. She choosed WANEGBT because of the IKYWT goat meme HAHA. So for the next months following our inscriptions, I dreamed about seeing you on the Red Tour. But sadly, you didnt came to Montreal. But then the big day came and we performed in striped shirts, with sunglasses on and Keds, well, the whole Red look basically. We had this choreography the makeup the whole thing. We were four on stage: Laurence, Marianne, Rebecca and my 9 year old self. In between 4th and 6th, it was peaceful while listening to your music. Then, I stepped into 1989 era as one in the fandom. Shake it off came out and I LOVED IT. I couldnt wait for the whole album. Then, i started cheerleading and it was quite hard to keep up with everything going on. July 6th 2015, you came to Montreal for the 1989 World Tour. My two friends, Laurence and Marianne went but I couldnt due to the arena being sold outtoo fast. I was so sad and waited until the very early morning to see the pictures of the show on the news. A year later, I started highschool, wich means 7th grade for us haha. I was really naive and this is the moment I really related to every single song of yours due to break ups, feud with friends, all kind of problems an almost 13 year old has navigating into the teen world. One of them was The Story Of Us wich really represented this relationship I had that broke my heart for nothing. At the end of that year, wich troughout I made impressions of you during drama class, would be compared to you in everyday life, I started guitar lessons and songwriting. Oh and not to mention that July 7th 2016, I cut my hair like you. 8th grade was quite hard for me. My grades werent has good as I expected them to be, my relationship with this same guy kept getting complicated. On april 29th, I had my first drama show. I was playing this kinda jet set woman having an affair. When i was backstage, My stare came across the guy i loved staring at me. I turned my head to hide my tears floading my eyes and came back to the stage light, thanking the audience. A couple days later, may 3rd i believe. I was admitted to the hospital for wrist surgeries. I remember listening to your music before and after it. It juste made the pain go away. Then, i was at the point of my scolarity that you guys call Freshman year. Except that we dont change schools. So this year, it was pretty great but i had quite a lot of lows. During that summer, i madd a lot of internet friends and we talked about the trial and everything. I remember the last day, i opened Instagram and I saw this post that made me burst into tears: TAYLOR SWIFT HAS WON HER 1$ TRIAL AGAISNT ASSAULTER. Weeks later, your profiles are slowly deleting everything on them. Oh didnt i told you that i also bursted into tears into the Ikea parking when I saw this video of a snake tail on your empty profile. For the following weeks, rep announcement, look what you made me do release, i was LIVING FOR IT. Then this trailer that said ...ready for it on it during the football game came out and i was likeoh man this must be a NEW SINGLE kznddkxj. I was right wow. On october 28th, I injured my elbow during circus class and was rushed to two different hospitals. The next day, my life changed. I was in stuck in bed and decided to listen to stranger things for the first time. I soon realized that I trully wanted to become an actress AND a singer. For the next months, i tried my hardest to find a way to audition for the show but I didnt. I still do remember the cold feeling of my tears stained cheeks at night. Oh wait that could be a good lyric haha. But this woman, my idol, once said that you should never give up on the things you love. Oh and thats you if you didnt know. On November 10th 2017, this masterpiece came out and i died of love for this album. I remember being in my bed, at like 3 in the morning, hearing the last song off this record and bursting into tears. New years day was so undescribable. So in december, i bought tickets for the Reputation stadium tour with my two best friends Maé and Laurence for Toronto night two on August 4th 2018. Crazy that when I write this, its already July 31th. I will always remember chosing these seats 9-10-11 row 12 section 130 AR, close to the b stage. We planned this whole trip, did our costumes, everything to make this a lifetime experience. Our costumes are Heart Robbers. So basically we are stealing your broken hearts from past relationships off the hands of your ex lovers so you can be loved brand new by Joe. And lets be real, you guys are the cutest. Anyways, During the whole year, i developped my singing and acting skills a lot so i could realize my dreams and goals. I dont know if I will ever meet you saying from today. But i know some of my friends did and i couldnt be more thankful for it. You know Jessica Johnson right? She was invited to the Nashville SS and a couple of weeks earlier, I made this edit of her and you and she was crying looking at it then it became reality. The same for my friend Asya, you met her at pre show m&g this tour and i screenshotted the dm of me saying « this is the era you meet taylor ». It became real. I never got noticed but i once was on the same livestream as you before the delicate premiere and somehow it was amazing. I couldnt thank you enough for everything you know. For Clean being this song that I relate to the most, For Call it what you want, new years day and dancing with our hands tied ( sounds a lot like the 80s synth vibe and the stranger things theme) to being my faves and for just you being you, this dorky adorable cat lover baking queen who cares sooooo much about us while being this powerfull amazing slaying wig stealer women that will forever be my idol. I will love you forever and always. -Juliette xox

34 notes · View notes

positive-lesbian-vibes · 6 years

Text

Anyway I ramble a bit in this post but there is a moral at the end I promise lol

I dunno about yall but I know for internet dating is hard because like… I dunno like I find it hard to judge chemistry with someone over text or whatever and also I have a very hard time being direct enough to be like “Hi I saw your profile and think you’re cute I’m into you” which I think is part of the reason dating has been so hard for me because I don’t know many other wlw irl esp wlw that I’m not already friends with

and sometimes I feel bad about myself because being almost 20 and never having had a relationship before can feel really shitty. what if I’m just a gross person? what if I’m ugly? what if no one will ever really love me with all of my deep-seeded issues?

and I know I’m not alone in this because as unfortunate as it is feeling alone and isolated is often an experience so many lgbt people have. I don’t know if I’ve ever met another lgbt person who hasn’t felt alone, isolated, and scared at some point in the past. part of patriarchy is making sure women who love women think they are an anomaly, a freak of nature, in an attempt to coerce us into performing heterosexuality.

and while i think we are living in an age where meeting other lgbt people has perhaps never been easier (with apps like HER, tumblr, online chats, discord, etc.), I haven’t found that loneliness magically disappears and that all of those issues go away once I message enough girls on tinder. and then i feel guilty, because i have so much opportunity to surround myself with other lgbt people but i still find it so difficult

but i think its important for me to remember that I have spent so much of my life being terrified of the kind of openness dating requires. homophobia conditions us to believe that there is something wrong with us, that we cannot tell people what it is, and that our secret is so horrible that nobody else we love could ever love us back if they knew what it was.

and logically, its ridiculous to think that other wlw would be disgusted by being attracted to women. thats the one thing we all have in common, and its preposterous to think that a woman seeking out a relationship with another woman would be disgusted by women attracted to other women. but the feeling persists.

I know that my experience with being afraid of intimacy is not universal to all wlw, but i also know that I have spent my life struggling with the concept of visualizing myself in intimate relationships with other people, all stemming from internalized homophobia and an instinctual drive to protect myself. if i never let anyone in, then nobody has the power to hurt me anymore, as sad as that existence becomes.

in times like these, i remind myself to have compassion on myself. while i may feel like a preposterous failure because of my inability to handle emotional closeness, I grew up in a world that spent years conditioning me to fear that. The socialized fear I feel surrounding intimacy is not who I am, it is who I was raised to become. And although I am not done unlearning all that homophobia and the patriarchy has instilled in me (if one can ever be done with that sort of thing), I have made progress, and all hope is not lost. I have already overcome so much, and it would be ignorant to pretend I cannot overcome more.

Reminding myself that I am a work in progress, that it is okay to not be everything today and leave some work for tomorrow, that currently improving does not mean I am currently incomplete, that growth is a part of life, and all those other cliches helps me be at peace with who I am and who I want to be. And I think that sometimes seeing those pinterest “not all who wander are lost” type posts can be a little insulting, because its easy to become frustrated when progress stagnates and times get tough.

But remember all that you have already been through to get to where you are today. All of it, you survived. And through it all, you have progressed. Maybe not consistently, and perhaps there have been setbacks. But you are still a work in progress, and you do not end here. Have compassion and patience with yourself. You were strong enough to get here, and you will be strong enough to move on, even if it won’t happen overnight.

#lost post #i need a tag for these posts where i just kinda ramble a bit idk lol #mine #m rambles #not creative but u know

81 notes · View notes

alintheshitposter · 6 years

Text

Sooo...the dearest @writingaestheically tagged me in this and I'm now going to answer her 11 questions (note: thank you so much for tagging me, I feel kind of honoured to do this, idk why BUT I JUST DO THANK YOU ILY)

(another note: my answers are going to be boring as hell :p)

ANYWAYS let's get started :'))

So, these were the questions:

1. a person who you find annoying sometimes, but really endear?

- Basically everyone of my friends. Because I just like being alone and I'm antisocial af :p and I often get the feeling that they judge me for being like this or that they're sad because I don't like to go outside with them and they're nearly dragging me to [and that's what I find annoying because I really want to be alone :'(( ] BUT I ALSO LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY LIFE WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT THEM AND I HOPE THEY KNOW THAT

2. do you, on a nice day, prefer reading first or writing something first?

- Maybe reading something to get inspiration to write something?? But actually I can't manage to do either :p

3. favourite music genre?

- I don't really have a favourite music genre because I really listen to EVERYTHING as long as I like it. It really depends on every single song. If you want a more specific answer: I'm really into kpop and movie scores, there are many German and French musicians that I like. I like songs you can sing to well but I also enjoy instrumental pieces :p [yeah, I use that emoticon a lot :p]

4. best thing which happened today?

- I made my friends smile multiple times c:

5. did you smile today?

- Yes c: [I already told you my friends are the best]

6. DID YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT WHATEVER YOU’RE STRUGGLING WITH WILL FADE COMPLETELY SOON? THAT IT’S OKAY?

- I guess I do that everytime I struggle with myself [I make it worse :'))]

7. do you believe in soulmates?

- I don't have enough evidence. I really want to experience it by myself to say ,,I believe in soulmates,, but i guess something like that won't happen to me in the near future :'))

8. if you could live in an au, which one would it be?

- I wouldn't say no to any au if I was really about to meet the love of my life or have the time of my life. But I'd love to live in a kind of American Indian or pirate au because freedom and endlessness???

9. dancing more or singing more?

- Singing. You don't need anything but your voice, you can sing in any language, you can sing whenever and wherever you want. But not in front of other people of course :p [Also I desperately suck at dancing :p]

10. a place you want to visit?

- Literally everywhere I haven't been yet. I just want to drive and drive until I find a place that seems worthy, then stay there until I want to go further and then I'll drive and drive again without knowing where I'm heading to. ,,,just experiencing this planet, get to meet some awesome people and their cultures,,,

11. favourite fics/books you think are amazing but really underrated and more people should read it?

- For books it's The Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. It's so underrated and yet Soo beautiful. You should definitely give it read! There's also a movie of it. It turned out pretty good [it's nearly 3 hours long], the actors are awesome and the soundtrack is epic!! But even the film is underrated :(( Well...and for fics... I'm going to be honest. It's you. @writingaestheically I already told you multiple times that I really love your stories and your writing style and you seriously deserve so much better :(( your fics are breathtaking and they're my favourites in the whole internet I L Y

THATS IT. as you may have noticed I am quite boring. You wasted your time :p ANYWAYS. now it's my turn to write down some questions.

1. If you could bend one element, which one would it be and why?

2. What existed first, the hen or the egg?

3. What is a thing that you're really interested in and find fascinating but others think it's creepy? :p

4. Do you talk with yourself?

5. Have you ever been to the forest or a cemetery at night?

6. What does your perfect love story look like?

7. What do you do on lazy Sundays?

8. How good are your cooking skills?

9. What/Whom do you think about very often?

10. What is your favourite feeling? Can you describe it?

11. What is the most aesthetic things you've ever seen/ever done?

[Additional question nº 12: Are my questions weird?]

I'm not going to tag anyone because I don't really have that many followers and actually the only person who I chat with sometimes is Shreya :p

So, if you're seeing this feel free to answer my questions. [Don't forget to @ me then, I wanna know the answers]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION.

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAy

2 notes · View notes

l-o-v-e-l-e-t-t-e-r-s · 4 years

Text

I wanted to put some quotes here that I have accumulated over the years and kept in various random folders on my computer which I found helpful sometimes:

Waiting and not knowing is a large part of life.

Often, what we fear doesn’t happen in the end.

We all have our flaws; everyone is on a journey.

Expect to get things wrong and to mess things up at times.

A good and trusted friend truly is a gift and treasure.

Treat yourself and others with kindness and respect.

Be patient in your struggles as they teach important lessons.

Believe you have the grit to create the life you want.

Don't make someone your priority when you are just an option.

This year I’ve had a lot of criticisms and I’m quite sensitive and it made me always feel angry and offended, but it also made me doubt myself and my abilities and as a result felt caged and wasn’t moving forward in life. I’ve had to step back, and just do what I like, and not care about what others think of me. Whatever you do, people are always going to criticise, especially when it comes to the creative stuff and being yourself, let them complain into nothingness, because it doesn’t matter. I do what I love and its not for you.

What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t happened yet.

nostalgia is a liar. nothing was ever as good as you remember it to be. there’s a reason you don’t talk to that person anymore, there’s a reason you’re not part of each other’s lives. don’t trust nostalgia. grieve. reflect. move on.

when I see someone being a success, I think “that’s awesome” instead of “wish it were me

I think at the beginning everyone is scared and worried, it’s a natural feeling because you are putting something very personal on the internet, for everyone to see! I very much understand what you’re talking about because it was the same with me and sometimes I still feel that way, I am basically always worried about various things ahah! But I’d say, if you are forever blocked by your fears then you’d never achieve your dreams or goals, it might be difficult sometimes but most of the time I am sure you will enjoy creating something and trying to build your own brand or shop will be amazing <3 I hope you will overcome this and that you’ll start the adventure soon!

Life goes really quick and you’ll be dead soon. Don’t waste your time on this planet not wearing the clothes you want to wear, not doing the things you want to do, not eating the food you want to eat, not asking the people you’re crushing on out, not taking the job opportunities you want to take. Don’t waste your time comparing yourself to other people, don’t waste your time measuring your achievements against other people’s, don’t waste your time trying to live up to someone else’s expectations, stop caring about other people’s opinions, surround yourself with people who love you and make you feel the best about yourself, cut out all negativity remorselessly.

Do you feel out of touch with reality? Like you're just going through the motions of living but you dont feel like it is you living it? I call these my moments in the fog, I drive and get to my destination without even knowing how! It is a very very hard thing to overcome, if you dont keep some friends these feelings will get worse! You will pull away from reality more and more and thats not good! I know its hard but try to keep atleast a few friends some type of human contact. Or the reality fading will worsen for sure! So I agree with everyone that tells you to keep friends! The FOG will over take your life if you let it!

First, it’s never your place to take on someone else’s problems as your own. So accept the fact right now that you can’t save anyone from themselves. This isn’t a movie or a tv show, things don’t wrap up neatly at the end just because someone comes along to say the Right Thing.

Generally speaking, it's better to not force things that are clearly not working out. People grow apart sometimes, it's sad but it happens, and it's better to let go and move on than to hold on to a relationship that is drifting apart.

please remember that in a healthy, adult relationship (romantic or not), you should be able to talk about things that are bothering you. if you are bottling up your emotions and holding it against someone when you haven’t told them what is wrong, you’re not engaging in healthy behaviour. but also, if your friend/significant other makes you feel as though you can’t talk about what bothers you- i.e. has made you feel guilty/gotten extraordinarily angry when things were brought up in the past- they are not engaging in healthy behaviour.

I think you have a wrong view of those happy happy girls. Many people choose to stay positive in life eventhough they experience setbacks or simply live life with a happy mask. Everyone(!) experiences setbacks, problems and/or sadness in their lives. Sure some more than others but it's wrong to assume that girls who are seemingly happy don't have a care in the world. You don't know what happens behind closed doors, in their private lives. You don't know what they choose not to tell.

maybe it's best to sit down and analyze yourself, how you come off and who you attract as friends. Anyone who wants new friends should do this.

Part of kawaii culture is about embracing the style you like and going against the grind! It's important that you remind yourself that you will stand out from the crowd and you will get stares, but try to treat that as a positive thing- you are interesting, different and cute! You are showing you have the bravery to express yourself the way you want, and anybody that scorns you for doing so is not worth your time of day. The more confidence you have, the better you will look.

Ask yourself: “What was my part in it?”Were you insensitive, uncaring or not thinking? If you made a mistake, used bad judgment, or did something hurtful to a friend, do some soul searching. Reflecting on the error of your ways can bring much needed insight and thoughtfulness to the situation.

Make amends. The fastest way to stop a friendship from derailing is saying “I’m sorry.” Take responsibility for your part. Even if you think your friend is being irrational or oversensitive, don’t invalidate their feelings or get defensive. Take the high road and be the bigger person. Conversely, if YOU’VE been wronged, accept their apologies, and quickly get back to the business of being friends.

Let go. If you’ve apologized like hell and there are still hard feelings, then it’s time to walk away. Don’t hold grudges, don’t grovel, don’t wait. Just send your ex-friend off with love and move forward with the friends you already have. “I don’t get mad, I don’t get even, I don’t cross you off my list. I don’t give it energy. I just make the decision to walk away, and I don’t look back.”

I hate to use this tired cliche, but what will help is if you lower your expectations from not only others, but yourself as well. Expect others not to rob or kill you, but as far being understood completely by others that may never happen. At least the way you want it to. A lot of my problems, at the core anyway, was that I desperately wanted people to see things the way I saw them, because I certainly tried to do the same, and I am usually able to. But like us, most people fumble their way through life without ever understanding themselves why they are the way they are in the first place, so how can I ask from them what they can't even give themselves.I guess all I'm really saying is cut yourself and others some slack. Sometimes just having someone to talk and interact with is enough to get you through the day even if they have no idea what your talking about.

You have to accept that as humans we have no control over our past, but absolute control over our future. If you're uncomfortable with your past you're going to spend a lot of time running away from it, but running away from this kind of stuff is like running on a treadmill; you end up moving neither forward nor backward. You also need to try lying down, playing some nice ambient music or some shit and actually try confronting yourself about your past actions.

I get sick of tumblr’s version of self care, which 90% of the time threads into this beautifully: go pet a fuzzy cute animal! pile up your favorite blankets from childhood and watch disney movies! take a nap! play a game from this list of cute soothings games! More realistically: go take a shower because it’s been three days. Wash the dishes that have been in the sink since last Friday that you can smell as soon as you open your door because rotting food stinks. Pick all your clothes off the floor because that’s where your entire wardrobe is and you’ve already cried today because you tripped over a sweater and realized the cat puked on it. Call someone who can give you enough courage to pay that bill you’ve been ignoring. Put away the crackers because that’s all you’ve eaten for two days straight. Apologize to the friends who are worried sick about you, and if you can’t at least let them know you are ok and need space. One of the most empowering types of self-care is responsibility, but tumblr just wants to sit in a closet strung with fairy lights and read their favorite fic. “Cute” self-care for “cute” mental issues. That’s not reality.

Gray Rock is primarily a way of encouraging a psychopath, a stalker or other emotionally unbalanced person, to lose interest in you. It differs from No Contact in that you don’t overtly try to avoid contact with these emotional vampires. Instead, you allow contact but only give boring, monotonous responses so that the parasite must go elsewhere for his supply of drama. When contact with you is consistently unsatisfying for the psychopath, his mind is re-trained to expect boredom rather than drama. Psychopaths are addicted to drama and they can’t stand to be bored. With time, he will find a new person to provide drama and he will find himself drawn to you less and less often. Eventually, they just slither away to greener pastures. Gray Rock is a way of training the psychopath to view you as an unsatisfying pursuit — you bore him and he can’t stand boredom.

If there is anything that gives my cold, cynical heart comfort it's that in the grand scheme of things I don't matter, nothing matters, we're all just chaotic seconds in everlasting entropy.

#text

0 notes