#anyway this is a terrible way to write and i am tired and sad bc i have so so little progress | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jigujellee · 3 years

Text

AS LONG AS IT TAKES YOU -> how long will it take rosé to finally realize that protecting what you two have will only end up hurting the both of you in the end? [ request: pls do a rosé imagine where she keeps rejecting the reader then the reader just gets tired of her one day bc rosé kind of crossed the line with her words or sumn. nndjsiww i am a wh0re for these kind of stories and i haven't rlly seen any rosé version of this. happy ending for the reader tho,,, tysm ]

rosé x reader mainly angst?? (squint for fluff at the end) word count: 2.9k warnings: a bit of swearing but nothing excessive

a/n: even though my requests are closed, i really wanted to try this out. i'm fairly happy with it, i just think i need to work on my pacing hehe i also wanted to point out that i got the 5 times to ask you out thing from hospital playlist bc i thought it was cute. and yes, covid is present in this story but let's pretend it's not that bad. anyways, i hope you enjoy! (also i swear i'll write for other members/idols soon)

(please note that requests are still CLOSED for the time being)

your crush on chaeyoung wasn’t a secret to anyone. you knew you liked the blonde ever since she let you borrow her pororo eraser back in 1st grade, but what you didn’t know was that she also had feelings for you.

it was hard for chaeyoung not to fall in love with your smile, your touch, or with the way you remembered every little detail about her. however, she decided to keep her feelings to herself because she didn’t want to fuck up the friendship. she would rather keep what you two have now than take the risk of losing you completely.

which is why chaeyoung is staring at you in confusion and disbelief right now, because after nearly a decade, this is the first time you’re actually doing something about your feelings for her.

“you’re asking me out?”

“yeah, i want to take you to a movie and then grab dinner after. when are you free?”

despite knowing about your feelings for her, chaeyoung never knew how to respond to them.

“so we’re just like, hanging out right?”

“well, i saw it more like a date but if that’s how you see it, then that’s fine too i guess,” you replied with a hint of sadness in your voice, something that chaeyoung notices but chooses to ignore.

“then yeah, i can do tomorrow after school. meet me at the gates?”

“see you then chae”

---

you can’t really complain about the “date” being terrible because it wasn’t. everything went pretty smoothly but you just wished you could’ve held her hand or fed her some food like other couples were doing at the restaurant. however, you didn’t want chaeyoung to feel uncomfortable, so you refrained from initiating any type of contact.

after dinner, you walked chaeyoung to her doorstep to say goodnight.

“i had a lot of fun y/n, thank you for this”

“no worries. you think we could do this again sometime?”

“of course”, chaeyoung giggled. “you don’t have to ask me to hang out you know”

“no chae, i want it to be like a date instead of us hanging out. you know, like holding your hand and that kinda thing” you said, rubbing the back of your neck.

chaeyoung opened her mouth to say something but closed it right after. what should she say to that? why should we ruin what we have? things are fine the way they are, chaeyoung thought.

instead of replying to what you said, chaeyoung embraces you in a hug and wishes you goodnight before entering her home. you watched as the door closed before letting out a sigh.

you were determined to win chaeyoung over and told yourself you will do whatever it takes. you quickly pulled out your phone to call chaeyoung, and she answered while looking out her window to see you still on her driveway.

“y/n, are you okay? why are you-”

“i’m going to ask you out 5 times. i’ll count this date as the first one, so i really only have 4 chances left,” you declared, staring right at her from where you stood.

chaeyoung always admired your determination but she knew this would end up hurting you in the long run.

“you know i’m probably just gonna say no each time, right?”

“you never know. just give me a chance chae”

chaeyoung lets out a defeated sigh. “good luck”, she says before hanging up. with the green light to continue asking her out, you start making your way home while strategically thinking about what your next move was.

---

chaeyoung hasn’t heard from you since that night, so she started to wonder whether you had already given up. she knew that was very unlike you and that was soon proved when you showed up behind her locker door with two tickets in your hand, which ended up startling chaeyoung a bit.

“jesus, can’t you say hi or hello like a normal person?”

smiling, you say “lany is playing this weekend and keshi is opening. you love lany and i love keshi, so this is perfect”

“sorry y/n, but i have an event with the church that day. i’m sure someone else would love to go though”

“i thought the church cancelled that event because someone caught covid?”

shit that's right, it was broadcasted on the news that the event was cancelled, chaeyoung thought. she wasn’t really the best liar, and the fact that you could see right through her lies doesn’t really help.

“oh yes, that’s right, but um, my mom asked me to help her with something anyway. really sorry y/n”, chaeyoung hurriedly says before proceeding to her next class.

before you start heading to your own class, she calls on you and you turn your head.

“you still have 3 tries” she says with a smile before finally leaving your sight. your lips slightly turned upwards at what seems like an attempt to make you feel better.

but the next two tries were equally unsuccessful. after the tickets, you managed to get her a box of baked goods from the new bakery that everyone has been talking about. while it was a bit of a weaker try compared to the concert tickets, you thought it was worth a shot but she still turned you down. then, you tried making her a playlist with the song titles listed in the order of “will you go out with me”, but chaeyoung didn’t even notice it until you pointed it out.

you only had one chance left but you’re confident that this will definitely be the one to win her over.

in your hand, you held john mayer’s prs silver sky guitar in pink. you knew how much she loved the colour pink, and after listening to her sing slow dancing in a burning room when you went over to her place, you thought this guitar was the perfect gift for her. after days and nights of constant researching and messaging a bunch of different people, you managed to get your hands on one that even happened to be signed by john mayer himself.

you couldn’t wait to give it to her after school so you hid it in your locker for the majority of the day, making sure it stays safe. as the bell rang for lunch, you made your way towards chaeyoung to drag her to your locker and show her the gift, but you caught her with her three best friends jisoo, jennie, and lisa. you hid behind the vending machine in an attempt to surprise her, but you ended up eavesdropping on their conversation. what you heard next was completely uncalled for.

“how many times has y/n asked you out? and why won’t you just say yes already?” jennie asked.

“yeah, look at all the things she’s done for you. and even after turning her down so many times, she still hasn’t given up” jisoo added.

“it’s really nothing, she’s just being nice”

“being nice? chaeng, you know she likes you, hell everyone knows. she’s had the biggest crush on you since elementary school!” lisa pointed out while jisoo and jennie nodded their heads, agreeing with their youngest friend.

“look, it’s just, i don’t know, kind of annoying okay? all these gifts and gestures, it’s too much. I never asked for any of these. i could’ve easily gotten concert tickets or baked treats myself. it’s just i’ve never seen someone so clingy and so desperate to be with-”

“then why didn’t you just say that?” you came out from behind the vending machine, trying to fight the tears forming in your eyes. jisoo, jennie, and lisa all backed away to give you and chaeyoung some space.

when she turned around and looked at you, a mixture of regret and guilt was painted all over her face.

“you knew i liked you from the very beginning and you knew that i was going to ask you out 5 times. if you really didn’t want it, then why didn’t you say anything?”

“i knew you weren’t gonna take no for-”

“so now you get to call me clingy and desperate? i would’ve stopped if you just told me upfront chaeyoung” there was so much hurt and anger evident in your voice. before chaeyoung could even say anything, you ran the other way, wanting to get as far away from her as possible.

chaeyoung wished you didn’t have to hear what she said, because all of it was a lie and she knew that. she knew she liked you, she liked you so damn much it killed her to keep rejecting you. her decision of wanting to maintain the friendship just so she doesn’t have to lose you backfired on her and her biggest fear came true - she ended up losing you anyway.

---

you distanced yourself from anyone and everyone since you heard what chaeyoung had to say about you asking her out. your family and friends were calling and texting nonstop just to make sure you were alive, but you didn’t even bother replying to them and left them on read, still giving them some indication that you were in fact alive. you didn’t want anyone around you, not now and not for a while.

as you lay in the comfort of your bed, surrounded by darkness and the sound of rain hitting the window, you stare up at the ceiling and let the words “clingy and desperate” echo through your head. it still stung each time you thought about it. has chaeyoung felt like this the whole time? have i been nothing but a burden to her these past few weeks? these few years?

your thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of your own stomach growling. picking up your phone, it was already 12:45 and you haven’t even gotten out of bed yet. finally, you get up and the first thing you see is the guitar you were supposed to give chaeyoung that day.

“what a waste”, you groan before getting out of bed.

as you cook a pack of ramen, this one probably being the 6th pack in 2 days, your phone continues to vibrate. and most of the notifications are from the person you don’t want to hear from right now.

chaeyoung <3: y/n, have you eaten?

chaeyoung <3: please pick up

chaeyoung <3: even if you leave me on read, i just need to know you’re there please

chaeyoung <3: i’m really sorry y/n, can we please talk?

22 missed calls from chaeyoung <3

and i'm the clingy and desperate one, you thought.

little did you know that chaeyoung wasn’t doing the best either. she can’t remember the last time she ate a proper meal, and the bags under her eyes are becoming darker and much more prominent as time passes by. jisoo, jennie, and lisa have dropped by numerous times to check on her and tried to get her to eat, but all she cared about was trying to get a response from you.

the next day at school, students were looking at chaeyoung as she walked through the halls because well, she really looked like shit which is very unusual for her. but she didn’t care about any of that, what she was focused on was trying to find you. instead, she finds your best friend and musters up the courage to go up to her and ask about you.

“hi”, chaeyoung starts quietly. “um, you’re y/n’s best friend right?”

“hi, yes! i’m jihan. you must be chaeyoung!”, she smiled. her energy was something else despite it being a rainy monday morning.

“yeah, i was just wondering if you knew if she’s coming today? and if she’s alright?”

jihan’s smile slightly faded but it was still present.

“y/n’s not coming today, she said she doesn’t feel well”

“has she been eating?”

“i haven’t been able to see her in a while. she’s shutting everyone out, so i don’t think she wants anyone near her for the time being. sorry chaeyoung”, jihan sends an apologetic smile towards the girl.

“thank you. but um, you don’t hate me or anything?”

“what happened between you and y/n shouldn’t affect the way i see you. you’ve always been such a nice girl, so just because something happened between you and my best friend doesn’t mean i see you any different. yeah, you hurt y/n, but i know you’ll do what you can to make it right again because that’s the type of person you are” jihan says, before getting up to go to her homeroom.

chaeyoung started making her way to class and thought about what jihan said. while it cheered her up a little bit, she was still concerned about you. you were shutting everyone out, including your own best friend, so it was clear that you weren’t doing well and chaeyoung only blamed herself for your behaviour. but jihan was right, chaeyoung was gonna do what she could to fix things between you and her.

---

you finally decide to show up to school after a few days, but your state hasn’t improved one bit. if people thought chaeyoung looked bad, you definitely looked worse. your hair was tied into what looked like the messiest bun known to mankind (or was it a half ponytail? no one could tell), your eyes still puffy from all the crying you’ve done the previous nights, and the circles underneath them making it worse. jihan looked at you with sadness in her eyes knowing that even her energetic self couldn’t do anything to cheer you up.

“have you eaten breakfast y/n?”

“no, i’m still full from the ramen i ate last night”

“exactly how many ramen packs have you eaten these last few days?”

“let’s just say i need to restock on ramen this week,” you chuckled to yourself. jihan knew that making jokes is the only way for you to cope whenever you felt upset, so she just smiled along.

other than your teachers constantly asking you if you were okay and suggesting a visit to the nurse’s office, the day goes by fairly smoothly. you haven’t seen chaeyoung all day, which is a relief because the last thing you need is to start crying during school.

when you open your locker to grab your coat and umbrella to go home, your phone vibrates. you roll your eyes at the contact name but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about what she sent. you grab your things and make your way to the bus stop when you finally open the message.

chaeyoung <3: as long as it takes you, open.spotify.com

you took out your airpods and clicked on the link to listen to keshi’s amazing voice.

baby i’ll be

waiting here for

you to change your mind

i’ll be here as long as it takes you

so this is it

i never thought that you would

take your things and leave

i must admit

i’ve been a mess since then

i need you here with…

as the song continued to play, you received another thread of texts from chaeyoung.

chaeyoung <3: i know you love this song, it’s one of your favourites

chaeyoung: <3: i can’t help but think that this is how you felt the whole time while you were trying to ask me out

chaeyoung <3: and i’m sorry i didn’t say anything sooner

chaeyoung <3: i really am a mess without you y/n

chaeyoung <3: look up please

you failed to notice a red, teary eyed girl holding her phone right in front of you while being drenched in the rain. you pulled her into the waiting shed with you, but she was far too soaked already. then, you took off your own coat to wrap around her so she wouldn’t get cold.

“what the hell are you doing standing out there with no coat or umbrella?”

“i love you,” she finally cries out. now it was your turn to look at her in confusion.

“i’ve always loved you y/n..”

“so why reject me all this time?”

“because i was afraid of risking what we have now! i was afraid that i would lose you if something were to happen to us, that i’d lose my friend altogether. but i actually did lose you because of some dumb shit that i said, which wasn’t true at all. you’re not clingy or desperate, you’re none of that and i wish i didn’t say it, and i’m just so god damn sorry y/n!” chaeyoung cried, her face stained with both tears and raindrops falling from her head.

before you could say anything, chaeyoung places a finger on your mouth and continues.

“i’m going to make it up to you y/n. i’m going to ask you for forgiveness 5 times, no, 10 times, and if you still won’t forgive me then, i’ll disappear from your life forever!” she practically screams, causing people around you to look in your direction.

when you think chaeyoung is finally done speaking, you pull her into a hug, not caring if she was still wet from the rain. while it would take some time to fully forgive her, you were just happy that you had your friend back and that one day, you’ll be able to try and ask her out again. you pulled back slightly to look at her before wiping her tears (and/or rain, you couldn’t tell).

“that counts as the first one. you have nine chances left,” you say smiling, watching chaeyoung’s own smile grow on her face as she pulls you in for another hug.

#kpop scenarios #girl group scenarios #gg scenarios #blackpink scenarios #blackpink imagines #rosé #rosé scenarios #rosé angst #rosé fluff #rosé x reader #park chaeyoung

435 notes · View notes

princess-of-inarizaki · 3 years

Note

Heyheyhey!! Can i request manager birthday and the team forget about it for seijoh, inarizaki, and shiratorizawa bcs tomorrow ma birthday hahah. Thank youuu and i love you

Anon-chan!! This is SUCH an important birthday request and I am beyond honoured to write it for you :D 💖💖💖💖✨

Our birthdays are so close too👉👈 mine's next week. (Exactly ten days apart from yours!!)

Anyways, happy birthday Anon-chan!!I hope you have a beautiful day, filled with lots of happy things, and a wonderful year ahead. you're wonderful, and I hope you always remember that !! 💖💖💖✨ I love you so very much <3

The teams forgetting their manager's birthday

Characters: Seijoh, Shiratorizawa, and Inarizaki

Warnings: none

Oh btw!! since the type of manager is not specified, I'll go with my default fem manager :D she's cute and sweet (like you, Anon-chan 😺😆💖) and the boys adore her a ton. She's also very capable, smart, and confident, and she loves being physical with the boys, which constantly flusters them!

Seijoh

The Seijoh boys would be so busy practicing for an upcoming match, they kinda forget everything that's happening around them.

Lots of focus. You smile fondly, because that's what makes them such a good team. Their ability to focus on their goals and eliminate all distractions.

Until one day, Yahaba is just scrolling through his phone's calendar when he sees “Manager Chan's birthday, 19th November.”

And he's just so shocked and guilty. He immediately calls the rest of the team and tells them what he just realized.

The team feels so guilty and disappointed in themselves. They're a day late to wish you, and they desperately want to make it up to you.

You're their precious manager after all, the one who bandages their injuries with a smile and who always gives them the motivation to do better.

How could they possibly forget such a precious human being's birthday?

That same day, they create a group chat excluding you, and begin to plan something special for you.

They break themselves up into teams with specific tasks of getting things ready for an impromptu birthday party for you.

Iwa-chan is in charge of ensuring everything runs smoothly, and he makes sure to do it with zeal, hoping to make it the best birthday ever for you, eventhough it's a bit late.

The next day, you walk into the gym, and it's absolutely quiet and dark. The boys aren't there yet, which is pretty odd, considering practice should've started a few minutes ago.

You stand in front of the gym and dial Oikawa's number, because he's always quick to respond to your calls, but the number goes straight to voicemail. You're confused, and a little curious as to where they are.

Suddenly, you feel someone's hands covering your eyes, and Oikawa's voice saying “y/n-chan, don't be scared. We have a surprise for you.”

You laugh, realisation washing over you that the boys probably planned something because they forgot it was your birthday yesterday, and follow Oikawa as he guides you inside.

When he finally uncovers your eyes, you see the boys holding a huge, slightly odd looking cake, lit with candles.

Oikawa hugs you from behind and you pull him closer to you, snuggling in his embrace.

You then blow out your candles and make a silent wish. I wish to always be by their side

Iwa-chan is already hitting Oikawa for hugging you before the rest, so you hug Iwa too, then Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Yahaba, Kunimi, and even Kyotani, albeit him being slightly rigid.

“thanks guys, this is an amazing surprise!” you say softly, as your eyes tear up. It's obvious that they made the cake themselves, and eventhough it wasn't perfect, your boys, made it for you.

Your heart squeezed as you cut slices for everyone, and handed it to them, as they sat on the bleachers to enjoy it.

You sit next to Yahaba and leaned on his shoulder. “Thanks for remembering” you said softly.

He blushed. “how did you know?” you explained that Kunimi told you, and he smiled at you and ruffled your hair.

“We're sorry for not remembering sooner, Y/n-san. Thanks for being the best manager ever” said Iwaizumi. He seemed to be nonchalant about it, but his eyes and smile betrayed him. He was fond of you, and genuinely glad that you enjoyed the small celebration they had prepared.

You smiled and kissed his cheek as acknowledgement, which caused him to blush and Oikawa to throw a small tantrum.

You laughed as you looked at them bantering with each other, Hanamaki and Matsukawa teasing Kyotani, and Yahaba and Kunimi next to you. You really did love these boys.

Shiratorizawa

So I'm pretty sure it's exam week, and these boys are just so studious and hardworking, they're totally immersing themselves in their studies and books.

Until it's their calculus exam and Tendou just suddenly remembers “Oh my God, it was Y/N's birthday two days ago!!” as his pencil flies across the room, much to the sensei's disapproval (haha, miracle boy is so cute)

He pulls the other third years aside after the exam, like Ushijima, and Semi, and tells them what he just remembers.

Ushijima is just stoic, but internally he's like "how could I forget? I never forget important dates like these? Is something wrong with me?" And Semi's just so sad he wants to scoop you in his arms right away.

Tendou then proposes the idea of taking you somewhere after school to surprise you, and they agree, and run off to tell the rest of the team.

Goshiki is just close to tears he hates that he forgot his favourite senpai's birthday, especially when you remembered his (and the entire team's) and never failed to make it a special day for them.

So after school ends, you're getting ready to go back home, when Semi just scoops you into his arms and carries you to the rest of the team.

You're not all that shocked, since Semi does this pretty often, and so you let him. “where are we going?” you ask, and he just casually answers “to celebrate the end of exams”

You laugh silently. They're definitely planning more than that, but you decide to humour them, and smile at the team when Semi lets you down gently.

“let's go have udon” says Shirabu with a too-big smile. You and the team walk to an udon shop near the school, and enter quietly.

Goshiki sits next you, and he looks like he wants to say something, but can't, as he bites his lip. Ushijima sits in front of you, and rest of the team take their places and begin ordering.

You notice Tendou talking to the shop owner intently, with Shirabu next to him. Ushijima knows that you might suspect something, so he tries getting your attention by asking you about your exams.

Suddenly, Tendou brings a cake to the table and team begins singing happy birthday for you. You smile happily and wait for them to finish before making a wish and blowing off the candles.

You smile happily at the team and their hearts grow warm, seeing you so happy like that.

“We're sorry for not remembering sooner, y/n-senpai” says Goshiki in a sad voice. Your heart tugs at seeing him so sad, so you ruffle his hair and assure him that exams are tough on everyone, and that it was better to celebrate it after they ended anyways.

You and the team eat the cake after having udon, and talk about the week together. They start reminiscing about memories with you, as they talk about their first impressions, and cute memories with a soft smile on their faces.

Tendou retells the story of how you first came to the team and how much you've grown ever since then.

At some point, Semi sits in your place whilst you've gone to the ladies room, and pulls you to his lap when you come back.

The team laughs when they see you desperately refusing, worried that you'll be too heavy, whilst Semi reassures you that you won't.

Goshiki adoringly smiles at you, and Semi pulls you closer to him. Tendou feeds you small pieces of strawberry left from the cake, as Shirabu records everything, excitedly typing in a caption on his social media.

Meanwhile, Ushijima is just carefully adding in a small reminder in his phone calendar, so he'll never forget your birthday in the future ever again.

Inarizaki

My sweet little fox babies! I think they would be excitedly counting down for your birthday, you're their precious manager-chan after all (and I can't bring myself to say they forgot 😅��) when Atsumu suddenly sees a friend of yours post a "happy birthday y/n!!" on their Instagram story.

Atsumu immediately jumps on his brother's bed and wakes him up, whilst texting your friend. “Isn't y/n's birthday five days from now?”

Your friend replies. “no haha, it's today!” which cause the twins to desperately call Aran, Suna, Ginjima, and of course, captain Kita!

The boys are hurriedly awoken a few minutes after midnight, and absolutely frazzled! They had all planned something special, but now they would have to change the date, and some things (like the cake and venue) weren't ready so soon.

Osamu groggily got out of bed and began taking out eggs, butter, flour, and other baking ingredients. Eventhough it was extremely late, and he had a tiring day, nothing could compare to his love for you. And so, he started mixing the ingredients at one a.m.

Kita tried to remain calm, but internally freaks out. He and Suna are trying to brainstorm ideas of places they could take you to make your day enjoyable.

Atsumu was busy wrapping the gifts they had all got. He got way too many papercuts and had a bit of trouble, but it was for you, and the thought alone of you smiling was enough to motivate him.

Aran and Ginjima made their own preparations in their own homes for the next day, and Aran even facetimed Osamu to keep him company throughout the baking process.

They were determined to make your birthday a happy one, and genuinely wanted to let you know they loved and cared for you so much.

The next day, six terribly sleep deprived boys arrived at school, with the needed arrangements set. The cake was safely secured with Osamu, and Suna took the bag of gifts from Atsumu.

Kita went to go find you, and he saw you waiting by the entrance of school. “Y/n-san, let's go.” said Kita with a mysterious smile.

You were a bit confused. School was the other way and he was dragging you away from it, but you trusted Kita and followed him.

He led you to the rest of the team, and gently places his hand on your back. “Let's go, y/n-san. We're going to the beach.”

You were super confused. “but school?”. Suna gives you a sleepy smile. “Kita and me have already handled that. We told your teachers you'd be absent today, now c'mon.”

Atsumu gently holds your small hand in his and you guys walks to the subway. As you dig for your subway card in your pocket, the boys get seated. There's one less seat, so Atsumu pulls you to his lap, much to the rest of the team's disapproval.

They're all so jealous, Atsumu laughs silently, and pulls an oblivious you closer. Osamu just rolls his eyes, but internally seethes.

Two stops later, the team motions to exit, and Aran shyly comes closer to you, taking your hand this time. You smile at him and make your way to the small beach you sometimes spend time in, with the rest of the team.

Kita finds an empty picnic table and everyone sits down, placing the items they had brought with them down, and looking at you expectantly.

“Happy Birthday, y/n-chan.” they chorused together. Suna ruffled your hair from the right side of you, and Osamu begins lighting up the candles on your left.

You gratefully thank them for going to the trouble of bringing you here, the fresh beach air and breeze immediately putting you in a cheerier mood.

They then start singing you a happy birthday as you blush silently and blow the candles out, making a wish. I wish to be able to love these boys forever.

You lean over and kiss Osamu's cheek. He blushes red immediately. “Thank you for going to the trouble of baking this, Samu'” if only you knew, he thought silently, as flashbacks of him almost falling asleep in front of the oven came to mind.

Kita cuts the cake and gives you the biggest slice, much to your happiness. The boys all eat their cake and joke around about all the memories they've made with you.

“I can remember when y/n-chan just came. She was so small and sweet, Osamu said she reminded him of a macaroon” said Aran.

Kita fondly smiles as he gives you a pack off green tea from his grandmother.

Ginjima gives you the gifts the entire team had picked and you begin tearing up, much to everyone's dismay. You're just so grateful to have them.

Suddenly Atsumu leans over and swipes frosting from the cake on your face. The mood is once again lifted, as Suna takes a ton of pictures, and contributes to the frosting on your face too.

“hey that's enough now” says Kita. He looks firm, but his eyes betray him. The slight sparkle shows that he thinks it adorably hilarious how the boys are annoying you.

The water seems to be calling you, so you pull Suna to the shore and lean down to the water.

The rest of the day is just filled with the boys and you doing random things by the beach, like eating popsicles, and finding seashells. You're unable to actually get into the water, due to your school uniforms, but seeing an excited you gush over the seashells and smile happily over ice cream is enough for the boys.

At the end of the day, you and the team watch the sunset together, and swear to work extra hard for the upcoming nationals.

As they see you looking up at the sunset adoringly, their hearts squeeze in their chest, so grateful to be a part of your life.

Taglist: @osamusriceballs @k-sakusa-old

2K notes · View notes

shanitani · 3 years

Note

Hi! May I ask Todoroki accidentally forgetting his S/O's birthday, angst time until his S/O accept his apologies and he decided to spoil them (even tho their S/O does not want him to spend so much money on them... He still don't care lol) thanks! ♥️

contains : shoto x fem reader

includes: angst -> fluff

a: hi babe, ngl this made me get a bit sad bc I feel like he would Lowkey forget ur birthday but not to this extent yk like probably for the first hour of the day- anyways I’m rambling .. here you go <3

Feeling the crisp morning air hit your face, you smiled before even opening your eyes. Snuggled in what felt like your boyfriend, was in actuality just your throw blanket. You looked around for a sudden moment, stuck in the back of your mind that maybe, just maybe he forgot your birthday.

‘Maybe he’s just cooking breakfast’ You shook away your thoughts stretching out of bed to smell nothing. To see nothing but a flimsy note on the kitchen counter in scribbled drawn out writing “Had something come up at the agency, be back later - shoto”

You couldn’t say that you weren’t mad or that you didn’t feel a slight pull at your heartstrings, but Shoto was like this - he doesn’t show emotions well with language, more so physical touch. And, you knew what you were getting yourself into dating a pro hero. He let you know before hand how much he had to be gone no matter the instance, and you still stuck with him because he was one of a kind that you couldn’t just let pass up - that’s what made Shoto instantly fall in love with you.

So, you stuck to your promise of unconditional love no matter if he was wrapped in your arms, or messily throwing things in a suitcase to fly out for a emergency mission. You just wished the universe had been a little nice to you today, or at the least gotten an happy birthday at the end of the note.

Despite not being with your boyfriend, Mina had instantly hit you up asking to hang out at the bar later. So instead of sulking, you spent your afternoon with Mina - waiting patiently for your boyfriend to come home.

The afternoon passed, and he still wasn’t home. dropping you a quick message saying, “taking longer than expected, be home later tonight - don’t wait up.” don’t wait up.. was he forreal? or was this just he serious? you thought over and over again taking off the heels you were supposed to wear with Shoto to your birthday dinner.

You wanted to cry, but you didn’t. “Not on your birthday Y/N” you spoke out loud trying to surpass the tears fighting to come out. Instead, jumping in the shower to clear your mind from it all and sitting down on the couch and watch movies to pass the time.

Hours clicked by, 10pm it stated on the clock. Your birthday was over, and your boyfriend was nowhere to be found, tears fought angrily to come out - and you couldn’t do anything but let them force their way out. You choked out a sob on the couch, feeling hopeless and letting your mind get the best of you.

Was he seeing another woman? did he forget? does he even love me anymore? I wouldn’t blame him... Am I not good enough?

---

“Yeah thanks for helping me with the Mission today, I know it was last minute.” Midoriya nervously smiled rubbing the back of his neck before the bi colored boy shrugged picking up the last of his belongings. “Sorry again, I really do owe you.” the two boys walked out of the agency about to part ways as Todoroki stood confused at why Midoriya felt so sorry this week - this was usual for him to have to leave last minute.

“What for? this is what I signed up for.” Todoroki began to open his car door, shuffling his hair back into place, “Well I tried Bakugo and Kirishima but they had their own mission to fufill, and Denki wasn’t suited right for this job. Didn’t want to call you on your girlfriends birthday y’know? seemed rude.” Todoroki stopped in his tracks, trying to calculate what day it was. He fumbled with his phone trying to see the date, It can’t be today... its not, Midoriya’s just tired.. right? he silently prayed Midoriya was wrong - until he wasn’t.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’ve gotta go Midoriya okay?” The boy didn’t wait for response from the green haired boy, rushing home. ‘How can I be so fucking stupid’ he banged on the steering wheel, pushing on the gas pedal harder as he finally got to the shared apartment.

He opened the door, cringing at the bright heels he’s never seen before laying nicely by the door. Shoto rubbed his eyes with his hands - looking at the phone one more time. 11pm. the apartment was pitch black, slightly smelling like food you had previously cooked for you and your husband - that’s when guilt finally started to rush through his body, but he needed to see you - he couldn’t just not say anything.

He walked slowly through the living room door, hesitant on opening it and seeing a furious you. In the back of his mind he hoped you wouldn’t be so mad at him for this happening, but he knew the chances were slim. He opened the door only seeing more pitch black and static on the TV screen, his eyes softened to see you tugged closely onto the couch pillow.

He inched closer to you finally taking in your looks, you had a black silk dress that slightly rose up from you sleeping, you hair was a mess - frizzy at the top. And he could tell you’ve been crying, seeing your puffed out cheeks and calmer state. He felt terrible, trying to find out how to face you. All you’ve ever done for him was be supportive, and he couldn’t even take a day off from his hectic life to spend time with the person he loves the most.

Without thinking, he woke you up, inching you awake slowly to see you wake up in discomfort before looking at him. He smiled at you, teary eyed - but you couldn’t quite figure out why until it hit you that it was still the same day. “Hi baby, wake up we’re going somewhere.” “huh” you rubbed your eyes, feeling Shoto tug your arm up and into his arms

He leaned to your ear, whispering a small ‘i’m sorry, let me make it up to you.’ and before you could answer he opened the door, motioning you to come outside. You complied; seeing his emotional face look at you made your heart melt. He pulled you into the car, putting his hand on your thigh and starting the car. putting the radio on for background music there was a comfortable silence in the air.

You finally pulled into a driveway, the highest level that looked over the Japan city that you liked so much. He pulled you out urging you to come to the edge and breathe. He knew that after small breakdowns you would usually come out here to get your mind off things, so he thought this was the perfect place to bring you - at least just for tonight.

His head hung low trying to figure out the words to say to you, he didn’t know how to apologize, and he wouldn’t be surprised nor mad if you wouldn’t accept it. “I’m sorry. I’m a bad boyfriend.” he croaked out, with damp cheeks attempting to look into your eyes, he grabbed your hands subcontiously to stop his rapid heartbeat. You smiled at him, taking his head and putting it into your chest like he always liked.

“It’s alright baby, you’re an amazing boyfriend. always will be my hero.” you hummed stroking his hair softly. you didn’t care about the date or the gifts, you cared about his presence, and it was before 12am. So technically, you got what you’ve wanted.

“It’s not, and i’ll try harder to be with you more.” he looked into your eyes finally, cupping your cheek. You smiled, “best birthday ever.” you smiled, kissing his lips that you’ve longed for all day. He was scared to at first, but soon drowned into your mouth - comfortable with your taste. You pulled back, fully relaxed and content, “baby?” he hummed in response. “You still didn’t say happy birthday to me.” you teased grinning as he playfully pushed you away from him only to bring you back into his chest closer, “happy birthday sweetheart.”

BONUS BECAUSE I NEED TO:

You awoken to the smell of pancakes and bacon, the sun shining warmly on your face making you sit up. You were awoken to food, presents, and a beautiful card placed on the left of your bed. Standing over you was your boyfriend, with messy hair and sweatpants that sat nicely in the middle of his V line making your cheeks heat - he never failed to look so adorable.

“Good morning beautiful” he kissed your cheek, sitting on the edge of the bed near you, “Close your eyes.” you complied, feeling a small thin cold object grave over your neck, “Open.” you opened your eyes to see his phone handed to you to look at the object, it was a small gold necklace engraved to say “Todoroki” you smiled finding his eyes at yours, leaning in to kiss the boy.

“You’re already gonna have my last name, so for now this will do until I put a ring on that finger.” your cheeks grew incredibly hotter, “Thank you so much baby, it’s adorable.” you grinned placing down his phone and suffocating him once more in an endless amount of kisses to his face.

masterlist

354 notes · View notes

chrisevansgoodgirl · 4 years

Text

do you want more of this? isn't it glorious?

summary: requested: Imagine the victory sex after Andy wins a case. It’s a mix between the softest and most harried sex you’ve ever had, bc he’s so excited but he also wants to slow things down and just revel in the moment. also he feels guilty about working so late all the time and ignoring you for this case, so he of course has to make it up to you somehow

warnings: just smut. a lotta smut. pretty vanilla smut tho. it’s cute smut.

word count: around 5,000

pairing: andy barber x reader

a/n: so okay, if you’re upset with me that i haven’t been writing. i am guilty, definitely, but the real culprit is this story! (okay, it was technically me for being an idiot and editing a post ON tumblr instead of the word doc, but) i just got really attached to this writing and when i lost some of it, it was actually really sad and i could not make myself finish this request until literally two days ago even though i started working on it at the start of june. and plus also, i really am about to have to find a new song, running out of lyrics l o l

Andy wasn’t anything close to optimistic when he left that morning. He was exhausted because he’d crawled into bed at three in the morning. He was scattered, his keys in his office, his phone upstairs and uncharged, the files he’d been looking at the entire night either in the kitchen, living room, or his office. He was nervous, something you only knew because he asked you to tie his tie.

But Andy wasn’t some overly emotional man who needed your support to win a case. He relied on himself first, you second—and that was okay, that was what you signed up for. Andy loved taking care of you and there were some lines that that meant you weren’t able to cross.

You wanted to tell him that you knew he would do the best he could, you wanted to claim that that was all that mattered. It was bigger, though. It wasn’t him that had failed, it wasn’t even the evidence or the police. It was about politics, he had explained when you asked a few days prior. It was about a case that he had known was always going to be a long shot at best, and well, impossible otherwise.

So, you simply knotted the tie, smoothed your hand down it, and told him you loved him in gray. He scoffed. How could you not be tired of seeing him in gray at this point? Instead of giving him an answer that would make him blush, you kissed him.

He asked you about work and you told him it was just another day. Actually, you would be skipping work, not much to do anyway, and you knew that this case was important. You didn’t want to chance getting caught up in anything and making it home after him. You wished him luck on his way out and he kissed the top of your head and thanked you.

Nothing major, of course. Because he didn’t want you to know that he was worried about this. When you were just dating Andy, picking up on these signs was almost impossible. As soon as you were living together, he was completely and unintentionally transparent.

Sometimes, he would come home and it felt like he had a raincloud with him. Sometimes, he would just lay with you, hold you in his arms for hours, just wanting to hear you talk. Sometimes, he was too disappointed in himself and holed up in his office until you forced him out.

Other times, he was sunshine and full of happiness and pride. He would hold you all the same, but he would kiss you and tell you how much he loved you. He would want to celebrate, go out for dinner, plan a small vacation. You loved him always, wholly, but when he won, that was when you were happiest.

As mentioned, there wasn’t much you could do. Andy was big on little gestures. He didn’t need you to be some cheerleader waiting at his side and telling him that he was doing everything right. He needed to do this alone, win or lose on his own, and then come to you with the results. He wasn’t too keen on letting you be involved in the cases anyway, he didn’t want you worrying or hearing about those terrible details that had made him cancel the newspaper a long time ago.

So, it was a Friday, and if he lost or won, that meant that you would have the rest of the day, Saturday, and Sunday to react to it. You guys could stay home and eat terrible food, watch movies, and just be with one another. He’d told you several times that being with you was the only thing that could make him feel better after a loss.

You were baking cookies, his favorite. Oatmeal chocolate chip. You didn’t bake much, and cooking was fairly equal, so this was definitely a “special occasion” type of thing. He’d informed you of this preference on your first date. Then explained that if he had one chance to go back in time, it would be used to find the person who thought up oatmeal raisin cookies and help imprison them for the rest of their life.

It was one of those moments that you realized you would be just as crazy to let him go as you would be to keep him. If only because you knew you were going to fall so deeply in love with him. Clearly, you were right since your third anniversary was approaching.

It was four when he got home and you rushed out of the kitchen. Early. Too early. That normally wasn’t a good sign. He wasn’t smiling but he wasn’t frowning. When he looked at you, you were even more confused. There was something in his eyes, but you weren’t sure if you’d ever seen it.

You set your oven mitt on the counter. “Baby?”

He walked up to you, just watching. His eyes never left yours as he tossed his jacket onto the floor, loosened his tie, then unbuttoned the sleeves of his button-up.

“Andy?”

He took your shoulders, turning you away from him. “The wall, walk to it.”

“What?”

He kissed the top of your head, then whispered, “Come on, baby, be a good girl and do as I say.”

You turned up to him curiously. It was one of those days, you were not allowed to argue. You would say yes, and he would make it worth your while. Currently, he was trying to call your bluff, he wanted you to say no almost as much as he wanted you to just say yes.

Andy liked it when you fought a little. Sometimes. To an extent. But never when he lost, and you were too scared of that possibility. Maybe the trial was extended and the stress was getting to him. He could use you for the relief, it was one of the most flattering compliments you’d ever received. Besides, he offered you the same when you had a rough day at work.

You looked forward and made your way to the wall. Was it wrong that you were already wet? There was something about Andy. Something irresistible when he spoke to you this way, when he was in one of these moods. Something so sexy when he let you have no room to breathe, to compromise, to pull away from him at all. You were his completely and he was reminding you.

“Take your shirt off.”

You did so, attempting to hide that you were shaking. You weren’t scared, but the things you were anticipating were terrible. The way you wanted him to fuck you until you were incapable of thinking or speaking.

“Touch yourself?”

Your hands immediately went to your breasts, uncaring of how cold your skin was. Your wedding ring, especially, something that never failed to make you smile whenever it brushed your skin. You pulled on your nipples hard, letting your head fall back as you moaned.

It was a few minutes of nothing but the whimpers that came from you, before he said, “Your shorts.”

Again, you obliged. Only, this time you did so with less haste because you weren’t wearing any underwear. You expected sex, that was always a given regardless of win or loss, but you hadn’t thought it would work out so perfectly.

You hadn’t heard him move closer so when he grabbed your ass, you startled. You reached back for him, but he took your wrists in his hands and set them back to your sides.

“Keep them there. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“I love you, okay?”

“I know,” you promised. “I always know.”

“I know sometimes I don’t take care of you like I should…I get lost in a case because I believe that’s the only way I will win. But I want you to know that nothing is more important to me than you. I could win a million cases, but it doesn’t mean a thing if I can’t come home to you after every single one.”

“Andy, there’s never been a second that I’ve ever doubted it. And I love you. You know that? I don’t care about the cases, I don’t care that sometimes you come to bed late or sometimes you’re distracted, you’re the best man I know and you’re just trying to help people.”

“I know you do, baby.” His arms wrapped around your waist and he set his chin to your shoulder. “I was thinking about you the entire time today.”

You smiled. “What were you thinking?”

“How badly I wanted to be inside you.”

“Because last night wasn’t enough?” It had to be quick, it had to be a lot of things. It wasn’t disappointing, he never was, but it seemed like it only left both of you wanting so much more. Sometimes, you had to wonder if he did that as encouragement to speed up whatever he was doing.

“I will never get enough of you, my love. You know, I have this awful fantasy… Wanna hear about it?”

“Yes.”

“It’s whenever I feel like I’m losing…like I’ve just made a mistake, and all I want is you laid out on the table before me. I want to watch you fuck your fingers until you can’t move, until you’re shaking and crying, begging me to get you off because you can’t do it anymore.”

“You want them all to watch?” you wondered.

“Yeah, maybe… Maybe I want them to hear the way you scream my name, the way you beg me to fuck you harder, when you ask me to choke you. I want them to see how wet I can get your pussy without even touching it.”

“Then what?”

“Then I want to fill you up and watch my cum drip out of you.”

You sighed longingly. That was your favorite part of Saturday mornings. Most of them were spent fucking and he loved coming inside you, loved making you stand up so he could see it trail down your thighs, or getting you down to your knees so he could see it on the floor after he finished in your mouth.

“Like the sound of that?”

You nodded.

“Then I’ll make you clean it off the table with your tongue.”

You tried not to blush, clearing your throat quietly. “The end?”

“Of that one,” he confirmed.

You turned up to him, a pleading look on your face. Andy rarely ever told you about the weird shit he thought of. It was always a relaxed progression and sometimes, you felt like he was holding back.

He smirked. “If you’re a good girl, I’ll tell you some more.”

“I’ll be good,” you promised.

“I know,” he assured. “You always are.”

You nodded. “Always.”

“Okay, ‘always’ was an exaggeration,” he scoffed.

“No, always.”

He kissed the pout off your face and took your chin in his hand to face you forward again. His palm trailed up your cheekbone and into your hair. As he pressed you into the wall, he angled your face so that your cheek was pinned there.

You shuddered when you felt the first smack across your ass. It was very light, more noise than anything else, but it was enough for you.

“This is another one,” he informed. “The idea of people watching you get so needy to be spanked. The things you say, the way your body moves because you need it so bad, how you cry because you want more. I want to bend you over that table and spank you for hours until your entire ass is red.”

You made a small pleading noise, pressing your hips back more. He understood immediately and repeated the hit on the opposite side. “Andy,” you whimpered. “Please.”

You weren’t sure what you were asking for. You needed relief, you needed an answer. You had to know if he won or lost because you needed to act accordingly. You figured him not telling you in a straightforward way was just another way of either regaining or maintaining control.

You reached back without his permission, which you knew was pushing it, but you couldn’t stop yourself. Your hands found the button of his pants and you indelicately tore them open. You pressed your palm up and down the length of his cock.

It took him a moment to recover but he swatted your hands away and yanked his pants down. His hands closed around your upper arms and he pulled them back, propping your chest up as he used his own body to press you completely into the wall. It was cold enough that you tried to squirm away, but he gave you no room to move.

“Andy,” you whimpered. “Please, I need you inside me.”

He slipped his arm between both of yours and your back, you couldn’t move and that was exactly what he wanted. He used his other hand to tease you with the head of his cock. He slid up and down your soaking cunt several times and when he finally pressed in, even though it was just a little, you shuddered.

“Ask for it, baby.”

“Please,” you choked out. “Please, please fuck me. Andy, please, I need you.”

He pushed in the rest of the way and you both moaned. It was humiliating how badly you needed this. Though, last night was different. He was stressed, you spent most of the time on his lap until he couldn’t take not being in control anymore and threw you down on the coffee table.

He let you adjust around him, all the while kissing your shoulders and the back of your neck. When you turned your head back slightly, he kissed your cheek and nudged your attention back to the wall with his nose. He placed one hand on the wall for some balance, set his chin on your shoulder, and slowly pulled out.

You let your forehead rest against the wall. “Fuck, Andy.”

His hips bucked forward and yours slammed into the wall. Perhaps this was potentially dangerous, perhaps not the best investment for your hips in the far future, but fuck, this was too good to suggest that he be gentler. Last thing you wanted.

As he found a steady pace, pulling out almost completely, and pushing back in as deep as he could, you couldn’t stop moaning. He had found that spot inside you and didn’t shy away from it. There would be no teasing tonight, just him fucking you until you couldn’t stand.

His hand on the wall slid down, catching your attention. You were sure he was about to reach for your neck, but instead, he placed it over your mouth to stifle your screams.

“I want them all to hear this, too,” he muttered in your ear. “How absolutely wet your pussy is for my cock.” You had never heard anything more obscene than when he would thrust back in, to the point where his body was flush against yours, the wet sound echoed and your cheeks burned but Andy truly seemed to love it. “And this sound,” he pulled his hips back at an agonizingly slow pace, “when your pussy is desperately trying to lock me inside because you know there’s no better feeling than my cock.”

You felt as though you currently had no control over your body. It always did what it pleased in reaction to Andy, but when he decided to take advantage of the desire you felt for him, that was enough to make even you blush. It wasn’t like being married to Andy left any room for modesty or even tradition. He was a creative and demanding man who wanted to explore you in every way he could imagine.

He kept you as quiet as he could, all while grunting in your ear. Normally, you were much louder than him and you could barely hear the sounds he made, now it was all you could hear. And you had been under the impression you couldn’t get wetter, but those deep sounds that you felt from his chest where he was pressed against you and his hot breath against your skin did something to you that you couldn’t explain.

He chanted your name when he was close and it was enough to give you a completely numbing orgasm. You knew Andy loved you, but sometimes you got so lost in your own pleasure that you weren’t sure where he stood. Andy had the complex job of reassuring you that he physically wanted you just as badly as you wanted him, he didn’t seem to mind having to do so. Actually, it seemed he enjoyed the creativity that was required.

You were shaking as he continued to pound into you at this agonizingly slow pace. He was never slow because he simply couldn’t make himself hold back, but that was no longer the case. You felt the tension in his body, you could feel his muscles moving, struggling to hold onto that admirable restraint that first attracted you to him. He let his hand move to your jaw and you instantly began blurting out his name, how much you loved him, how you just needed him to keep going, and pleaded for him to fill you with his cum.

When he did, he pressed his body flat over yours. You paid no mind to how uncomfortable your arms felt trapped between your bodies or how some of your bones were digging into the wall, you simply reveled in the feeling of him finishing inside you and the moans that poured from his open mouth.

His breaths were short and his chest was moving quickly. He stayed inside you while he was coming down, chin still laid on your shoulder, head now angled to rest against your hair. He continued to hold your arms back and your jaw in his hand, and now his thumb and fingers were moving, rubbing these delicate shapes into your cheeks. “Tell me you love me.”

“I love you,” you echoed. It always gave you butterflies when he requested that. It was so simple, so sweet, so little. But his voice always told you that was all he needed. Andy was not a high maintenance husband, he just wanted to be loved wholeheartedly and unconditionally.

He pulled you from the wall and his hands roamed over every inch of your skin. He started with your hips, working up to your breasts where he grabbed them hard and pinched your nipples. He moved down your stomach to your pussy, spreading you with one hand when his other hand traced a soft, careful circle around your clit.

You rested back against him, sighing. “I love you.”

“Mhm,” he hummed in encouragement. He kept you against him even as he began to walk back from the wall.

“I love you,” you repeated. “I love you.”

He turned you both around, moving toward the table while you continued to say it. It was awkward trying to walk with him still inside you and would have been impossible if not for his impressive length.

You had assumed he was going to bend you over and fuck you. That he would pull your hair, spank you, make you tell him how bad you wanted it. Nope, he wasn’t feeling predictable. It wasn’t like you ever minded Andy’s predictability, he still made your toes curl. In fact, you liked the stability of how he made love to you. You liked that he made the world outside just disappear with his insistence on taking care of you and letting you take care of him. However, that didn’t mean you would turn down anything else. You were always humiliatingly eager for whatever Andy wanted you to have.

He pulled out and took your arms once more, turning you to face him before he pushed you back onto the table. “Lie down.”

You were careful as you obliged, trying to keep the cum from dripping out of you. You gasped when he took your waist and yanked you down to the edge of the table.

He angled your hips up and you set your calves on top of his shoulders. He pushed in and then pulled out inch by inch, watching the entire time. His cock was covered in cum that he would have much preferred to see on you, so he took himself in his hand and spread what he could over your pussy and your thighs.

“Andy,” you said quietly.

His eyes flit up for a moment before his hand pressed down between your legs and his gaze followed.

“Andrew,” you huffed.

He lifted an eyebrow at you. “Y/N?”

“What happened? With the case?” After what he just did, you would spend the rest of the night on your knees with your mouth around him if he wanted it. Normally, when he lost, he did.

“Number one rule, baby. We don’t talk about work here.”

“The table?”

“Well, we said the bedroom—”

“You said the bedroom—”

“But I’m fucking you here, so it still counts.” Before you could protest, he leaned over and kissed the center of your stomach.

You snorted, rolling your eyes. “What are you doing?”

He didn’t respond verbally, he merely kissed up the middle of your torso, between your breasts before veering off to the side. He gently kissed around your nipple, then swiped his tongue over it.

Your eyes fluttered shut and your hand came up to tangle in his hair.

He repeated the same on the opposite breast before trailing up to your mouth. You loved kissing Andy. Sometimes, you would both spend the entire morning in bed just kissing. Hours. Just pressed against each other. Smiling. Laughing. Whispering against the other’s lips. It was also Andy’s favorite recovery activity. The quickest way to get him hard again.

He was resting on his forearm, opposite hand touching your face as his lips moved with yours. His kisses were long and breath-taking, just like the first time he kissed you and how he had been kissing you ever since. Sure, there were the chaste goodbye kisses, the moments when a kiss like this would result in both of you not wanting to separate even if the world was ending so you would have to keep them short and innocent, but most of the time, Andy acted like his job was to pour as much love into every kiss he gave you.

He broke away to touch his lips to your cheek, your jaw, your forehead, your nose. That was always how he liked to end it as he was stroking himself until he was ready to fuck you again.

He stood as he pressed into your asshole, eyes fixed on where your bodies connected.

Your back arched as your arms shot out to grab to the edges of the table. He was slow about it, you would even say cruel. He watched you with unconcealed smugness, a truly animalistic part of Andy enjoyed how much you enjoyed him fucking your ass. It was the noises you made, the tears that would fill your eyes because it was so good, the way you would press your body back further, wordlessly pleading for more. When he wouldn’t give in, you became impatient and bratty, and he loved having to put you back in your place.

He wouldn’t do it this time, however. He could tell you were too tired, too focused on him and the case. His hand found your center again where he rubbed your clit with just the tips of his fingers.

You were whimpering, your hips jumped, your legs pulled him in closer where they were still draped over his shoulders, you clawed at the table, possibly left some marks. This was always his goal, to get you so mindless and dependent on the things only he could make you feel, and it was an exhausting process, but you wouldn’t want anything else.

He grabbed one of your hands and brought it to your clit. “Don’t stop unless I tell you to.”

With two fingers pressed flat, you began tracing sloppy circles over your pussy. You didn’t have the muscle control to focus on one small area at this point, but you caught your clit enough times to get yourself close.

He leaned over you, hands pressing down on either side of you as his hips picked up speed. His eyes were locked on yours, desperate to see that overly loving look you gave him every time he made you orgasm.

You let your legs fall from his shoulders, wrapping them around his torso. He couldn’t be slow anymore or even remotely controlled. His hands pushed you up the table as he crawled onto it as well. He practically collapsed on top of you, his hips driving into you so hard the table was starting to move just a little.

You pulled your hand away even though he didn’t tell you that you could and grabbed his shoulders. He pressed his body flat against yours so that his pelvis would rub against your clit with every thrust.

It had been so long since you left scratches on his back. He liked them, but you were sure they had to hurt, so you attempted to find other coping mechanisms. But then, it had been so long since he was this uncontrolled, and as your nails dragged down his skin, that only encouraged him.

The table squeaked against the hardwood floor, skin slapped skin, and moans and curses fell from his mouth. You were breathless, a scream caught in your throat while he coaxed you closer to a finish. Anywhere you touched him, you could feel his muscles moving, his back, his ass, his thighs.

He fucked you without his usual concern of possibly being too rough, he simply did not care in that moment. He grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked your head back. He kissed and bit over the parts of your breasts he could reach. His hands moved along your sides, fingers digging into your hips or pressing your thighs up further to open your body even more for him.

When you informed him you were close, he leveled himself to see your face. His brow was furrowed and it was fascinating to see the way the blue of his eyes moved. Not to sound like such a cliché, but it reminded you of waves in the ocean.

“Come on,” he panted, “I want to hear you begging.”

“Please, please, please.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling yourself just a little closer to him. “Please, I want to feel you come inside me.”

“Yeah?” he cooed. “In your ass?”

You nodded frantically. “Please. Please come in my ass.”

His head dropped to the bend of your neck where he bit down rather hard to drown out the sound that followed his orgasm. You didn’t mind even though you knew there would be a mark, even though you knew your coworkers would eye you. No one was surprised anymore, they had this image of your husband as the sex-crazed lawyer, and in reality, were they wrong? Not exactly.

You were just seconds after him, wrapping yourself around him as tight as you could. You sobbed his name and about a million other incoherent things while he kissed around that tender spot that his teeth had just been, whispering how much he loved you and how good you were.

He pulled out and kissed you after you whimpered. He rolled over, lying flat on the table and bringing you up to his side. His fingers brushed through your hair and you both attempted to get your breathing back to normal.

You were silent, reveling in the feeling of his cum slipping from your ass down the back of your thighs. Your skin was sticky and you were sweating, your hair was sticking to your forehead and your back. You couldn’t have looked beautiful, but Andy still kissed the top of your head and claimed otherwise.

You turned your head up to him after you had both settled. “Did you lose?”

He scoffed. “You have such faith in me.”

“You’re the only person I have faith in. The jury? Well, any time you lose, they’re morons.”

He smiled. “I guess they were smart this time.”

You lifted yourself onto your forearms. “You won? Baby, you should have told me! I baked a billion cookies, but…we should celebrate! I can make a reservation, we could go—”

He took a handful of your hair and pulled your mouth against his for a slow kiss. He was the one who broke away, just to see that dumb look on your face whenever he surprised you with a kiss. “We did just celebrate.”

“No, I want to do something special for you.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Well, I have a few ideas.”

You realized exactly where his mind was going, the last place you had suspected. Really, you should know better by now. “What other boxes do you want to check? You’ve tied me up. You’ve bent me over a Paris balcony. You’ve fucked me everywhere in this house. You’ve fucked me in the car. My childhood bedroom in my parent’s house.”

“I have a long list of all the things I still want to do to you.”

“So, tell me what you want.”

He leaned up and kissed your nose. “Let’s clean up and order some food, I’ll think about it.”

You rolled your eyes as you watched him get off the table. “And was ‘list’, like, a figure of speech? Or do you have a physical list?”

He hesitated a moment before glancing back at you.

It was totally an existing list that he had hidden somewhere and suddenly, you wanted it more than anything else in the world. “I will burn this house to the ground if that’s what I need to do to find that list, Andrew.”

He snorted. “Well, good luck because you will never find it.”

#andy barber x reader #always accepting andy requests just fyi #my writing

153 notes · View notes

zevlors-tail · 4 years

Text

Lonely With You

Pairing: ProHero!Izuku x GN ProHero!Reader

Warnings: Self doubt, self deprecating thoughts/words, cursing, reader is very angry in the beginning and throws something if that’s a trigger for anyone (doesn’t throw it directly at anything or anything in particular), lots of crying on reader’s part, song fic, tooth rotting fluff at the end. <3

A/N: Song fic! Sports by Beach Bunny. I said I couldn’t write shit but here we are. I just one shotted this thing in the span of like 3 hours and in 3 more hours, I have to go into work with no sleep. :’) But really it’s fine bc I had motivation and I DID THE THING. I wrote something I kind of liked! I am obsessed with this song right now, so suffer with me I guess.

The second you stormed into the house and slammed the door shut behind you, Izuku could tell something was off. Sure, you had your bad days, but somehow this was different.

“Hi, love! How was your da-” Before he could even finish, you cut him off with an angry look and a short response.

“Fucking awful. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Izuku knew better than to take your short response personally, though he would be lying if he said it didn’t irk him in the slightest. However, you didn’t curse often, and using the “F” word usually meant you were at your wits end with whatever situation you were dealing with. He watched you as you strode past the kitchen with blind rage and threw down your headpiece to your hero costume. A piece of it actually busted off from how hard you had chucked it across the room, nearly missing his eye as it flew past him and making him visibly flinch.

Upon seeing his reaction, you immediately stopped in your tracks and snapped out of your fit of anger, concern for your partner taking over you instead. “Shit-! Izu, I’m so sorry, are you alright!?” Tears welled in your eyes as you panicked and checked his face over for any collateral damage, and when you could find none, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“I’m fine, Y/N. Are...you okay? I know you said you didn’t want to talk about it, but you look really...upset.” He struggled to find the right words for a moment. You looked upset, sure, but it was more than that. There was a foreign look in your eyes he hadn’t seen before, something heavy and dark lurking behind your usually bright orbs. His heart couldn’t help but ache for the look you gave him.

If you feel lonely, I could be lonely with you. Tell me baby, why do you seem so blue?

You broke down in tears within seconds, cries of frustration and anguish clawing their way up from your ribcage to your throat. Today had drained you for all your worth and made you feel utterly exhausted. But if you were being honest, this had been going on much longer than just a day. It just so happened that today’s events had been the last straw for you and left you feeling defeated. Months of self doubt and anxieties were finally catching up to you, and now you were paying the price.

Izuku wrapped his arms around you tightly and held your head to his chest as you hiccuped. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” He nuzzled his face into your hair before pressing a sweet kiss to your crown, his hand sliding to your back to rub comforting circles.

“I’m no good,” you managed between sobs. “I’m a terrible hero, and I should just quit while I’m ahead. I’ll never amount to anything useful. All I do is get in the way and cause problems for others!” You continued to cry while Izuku let you vent, although it took everything he had in him not to interject that all of those things couldn’t be further from the truth.

Why are we so complicated? Maybe love is overrated...

“I’m a failure. I failed my mission and if it wasn’t for Uravity...” You let out a strangled cry as you admitted what was weighing you down so heavily. “They almost died! They almost died, and it would have been all my fault! If I had just pushed myself harder, if I had done more, then- then- then none of this would have happened!”

“Oh, love...no.”

“I should just do everyone a favor and stop being a Pro. My manager did always say I was better as a sidekick, anyway,” you laughed bitterly at the memory, distracted only for a moment before returning to crying, albeit a little quieter. “I’m ready to give up. Everything I do is wrong... I don’t think I’m cut out for this anymore.”

I’m tired of waiting! I was never good at sports; save the games for the girls on the tennis courts.

Izuku sighed softly before cupping your face in his hands and gazing intently at you. “Y/N Y/L/N, you are not a failure. You are the light of my life and the best thing to have ever happened to me. Do you know that?”

You hesitated a minute while you sniffled and rubbed at your eyes. “Are you sure about that? Because I feel like I’m failing at everything... At being a hero, at being a friend, and at being your partner. I’ve been so stressed out lately that I’ve barely been able to pay attention to you. I’m so sorry, Izuku...” Fresh tears pooled at the corners of your eyes as your self doubt ate at you.

Say you need me, but lately you feel unsure.

“You didn’t let me finish.”

“Ah, I’m sorry-”

“Nope! No more apologizing, especially when you didn’t do anything wrong.” A small smile found it’s way to his lips as he spoke, “I’ve watched you grow from a student in the hero course with me into the wonderful person and amazing hero you are now, and I want you to know I’m proud of who you’ve become. You’ve been nothing but nice to Uraraka, Iida, and Todoroki, and you’ve done everything you can to support me and be there for me when I need you to be. You cheered me on and pushed me to do better when I felt like giving in so many times. Without you, I wouldn’t be the hero I am today.”

“That’s really flattering, but I think All Might was mostly responsible for making you the hero you are now.”

Come on to me, come on to me...I need more!

Izuku laughed a little as you smiled at your comment, though the pain remained behind your eyes still and his gaze was just as intense as before. He quickly regained composure and continued. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit, love. I was watching the live feed from home while you were on your mission, and from one hero to another, you did all you could with the hand you were dealt in that situation. You can’t place unnecessary blame on yourself for something that’s not your fault. You weren’t a hinder to them, and you didn’t cause them any further problems. I mean, unless you were the one who set the building on fire, but that’s not likely, right?” His teasing tone was meant to lighten the situation, but it seemed to have no affect against the worry and anxiety radiating from you. “Y/N.”

“Hm?” At some point you realized you had zoned out and starting daydreaming about all the possible ways the situation could have gone wrong. Izuku’s voice pulled you back to reality and away from your twisted reverie.

“I love you. It’s okay to feel upset and angry about today, about yesterday, about last month- and especially about that comment your manager made. Which, by the way, we need a new manager for you now, but that’s not the point. I want you to know that I will always be here to support and love you like you’ve supported and loved me. Your friends love you and support you also, you know. Uraraka was just asking me about you yesterday, actually...said you looked a little blue. Oh, and Todoroki wanted me to pass on a message. Something about an angry pomeranian? Are you two making fun of Kaachan again?” He gave you a pointed look.

“Well...yes and no?” You sheepishly grinned and laughed while he just rolled his eyes.

“Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is that you are worth so much more than you think. Your friends love you, I love you, and your fans also love you. You’re more than just a sidekick. You’re an amazing hero and an even better partner to me, and you are not and will never be a failure at any point in time. You did all you could to save those people, and if you hadn’t stepped in when you did, Uravity might not have been able to get to them after all. If you don’t want to be a hero anymore, then of course I’ll support you no matter what, but that’s not really what you want to do, is it?”

Deep down, you knew Izuku was right. There was no way you could step down from being a hero; you loved helping people almost as much as he did. Being a hero was just as much a part of you as your nose or your eyes or your lips. It was a second nature, something you couldn’t just give up on so easily.

“I want to help people and be a hero. I just...lately, I just don’t feel like I’m good enough.”

You sounded so sad and dejected still, and it absolutely broke his heart. Izuku silently promised himself to do everything in his power to make you believe in yourself again before racking his brain for ideas on how to further cheer you up. When you had bad days, there were certain things he did to comfort you and help you relax, but this seemed to be a bit more serious, and thus, required a more elaborate solution than the normal hot bath and back massage. Maybe...yes, that was perfect! It probably wouldn’t fix the problem long term, but it would be a good start.

“You are good enough, and I will always be here to remind you of that.” He leaned in and gave you a soft kiss. “Come on, let’s go relax in bed. I’ll even give you a ride there if you want.”

Your eyes immediately lit up as he turned around and crouched down so you could climb on to his back. As goofy as he was, you absolutely adored him. “Yes! You’re the best!” You squealed as he lifted you up with ease and locked his arms around the back of your legs to keep you nice and secure while he strode to the bedroom. Once there, he set you down on the bed before putting his plan into motion.

At the foot of your bed, you had a night sky projector that would cast the image of stars and planets onto your ceiling. Izuku had gotten it for you for your last birthday, and you loved it dearly. It made you feel content and relaxed when you were restless. Often times, you used it while you were in the bath or right before bed when you were having a rough night. It was perfect for occasions like this. Choosing the setting with the purple colored lights, Izuku powered it on and the two of you watched as your bedroom lit up all over. It was like you were really in space.

He made his way back to bed where you were currently snuggling into the giant comforter you both shared, a blissful smile on his face at the sight of you. You seemed to be feeling better already; you cuddled up to him as the little spoon as soon as he slid under the covers with you. He made sure to find a comfortable position for the both of you, and with the ambience set, there was only one last thing to do.

“If you feel broken, promise I won’t break your heart. If you shatter, I won’t let you fall apart. Why are we so complicated? Love’s a word I’ve always hated...”

You listened to him sing softly, the words falling from his lips effortlessly as he serenaded you with your favorite melody.

“I’m tired of waiting! I was never good at sports; save the games for the girls on the tennis court. Say you need me, but lately you feel unsure. Come on to me, come on to me, I need more...”

You closed your eyes and slowly drifted away from your worries as he sang. If every night could end like this, then maybe everything would be okay after all.

“It always feel like I need more... Jesus Christ, you’re so confusing! If we keep score, bet my money that I’m losing...”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“No, I love you more.”

You felt his laugh reverberate through his chest as he snuggled closer.

“Go to bed, Y/N.”

“Mmn...”

“If you feel lonely, I could be lonely with you... Tell me, baby, why do you seem so blue?”

#izuku x reader #izuku midoriya #izuku #midoriya #izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya x reader #bnha #mha #bhna x reader #bnha midoriya #bnha izuku #izuku x reader fluff #izuku x reader angst

150 notes · View notes

taerrorize · 3 years

Note

Can you tell me the songs that express Shinee's style through the years ? PS: I'm sure your week will end up well !! All the love xxxxx

Anon u rly have me googling “SHINee discrography in order” on my work computer rn lmao

I’m gonna try to do 1 title track + 1 bside per year and see where that takes me lmao but I’m only going to do Korean releases bc if I added Japanese songs into the mix I’d simply explode it’s too much

2008:

Replay (obviously) is just pure SHINee essence at its finest in my opinion. Sweet and cute and catchy all at once. Timeless.

Love Should Go On it’s kinda funky, lots of minkey rapping which is just *chef’s kiss* but also the added plus of baby Taemin rapping as well, plus jongyu’s beautiful vocals. Idk there’s just something about this song that I’ve always adored. Maybe because it features all five members’ voices in ways that worked for them, which wasn’t super typical in the earlier albums since Taemin’s voice was still developing. Adorable.

2009:

Ring Ding Dong (yes I’m picking it over Juliette it was a rough decision but I did it) it’s just such typical SHINee in the sense that it’s a timeless bop, everyone knows it, everyone remembers it. Everyone knows NEVER to listen to it before an exam (which I learned the hard way in college bc I thought it was fake as fuck but then haha middle of a history final mumbling ringadingdingding elastic fantastic in my gotdamn head it’s a miracle I passed that exam lmao)

Romeo+Juliette it’s not like a super popular song I don’t think? But again, there’s just something about it that’s so purely SHINee. The beat, the way they sing so well together, the way their voices just match & compliment each other’s so well? It’s a little slower paced, but you could definitely still dance along to it. Kinda sensual I guess? A good teeny bopper song by a teeny bopper band of teeny bopper boys. Was my absolute favorite song all through high school lmao the way jonnghyun’s voice is so soft yet powerful at the same time? Spectacular.

2010:

Lucifer I mean it’s just obvious again like Replay, it’s what dragged me into the pits of Kpop hell. Everyone knows Lucifer. It’s quintessential Kpop at this point. Taemin’s dang stripey shirt hypnotized me in that dance practice Istg.

A-Yo is sweet and funny and silly and still so so good all at the same time. Taemin essentially calls you a dumbass in the first like 45 seconds but manages to do it sounding sweet as could be. Really uplifting. Catchy. Easy to sing along to. Listen to it whenever you’re sad and I’m telling you it’s instant happiness. Minho actually gets to sing in it and his voice is just lovely I adore this song with my whole heart. It’s lighthearted and fun. SHINee to me had always just been a group that’s uplifting and comforting, and this song is, in my opinion, the greatest example of that.

2011 (they didn’t have any Korean releases in 2011 so bonus songs from earlier years!)

The SHINee World (Doo-Bop) [2008] I mean I feel like this is self explanatory. Dibidibidiss my name is Minho.

Jo Jo [2009] again, SHINee’s just good at happy fun sweet songs. Jo Jo is always fun to sing along to.

Electric Heart [2010] is a bit darker in the way it feels. Very sensual. Breathy voices and all that. I was super obsessed with this song in high school as well idk. A nice look at SHINee transitioning into a bit more of a mature group, breaking away from the typical teeny bopper boyband vibe. Still funky fresh tho.

2012:

Sherlock aside from being the only title track from 2012 lmao SHINee have often mentioned this was when they felt like they really started acting like a Team and relying on each other more heavily. This was also when the Cold War took place but I personally don’t remember seeing any of it, so to me, Sherlock was just a cool song with a cool dance and Taemin having a terrible weave (and I got in trouble during an after school religion class bc I showed my friend Taemin’s shirtless promo pic and the Youth Leader thought it was porn lmao)

Honesty was a song that really felt personal, idk why. Like the members singing directly to us. Soft and sweet and still so meaningful. Like I’m gonna cry just thinking abt it lmao

2013:

Everybody so 2013 is so hard bc so many good songs came out that year. Like I genuinely am having a hard time deciding, but I think Everybody is a good pick because it shows how SHINee has never been afraid to experiment with their sound. It sounds totally different than anything else they had ever put out, but it still was so SHINee. It’s powerful and it makes you pay attention and like lmao god I’m not quiet abt loving a man in uniform so the wardrobe rly did it for me. But also wow all of their vocals are so good in this song THE LONG HIGH NOTES love it love to see it.

Beautiful just seems like a good pick. Again, 2013 is jam packed with amazing songs, it’s difficult to narrow it down. But beautiful was a song that was always super comforting as well. Their high notes and the way they sing together. Idk. I adore this song.

No Korean releases in 2014 and I’m getting tired lmao so no bonuses

2015:

View of course. Still the best summer bop in existence. We really see the members start to get more involved in this song specifically, from Taemin choosing the choreographer, Jonghyun writing lyrics as always, and Key picking the wardrobe. It’s a fun lighthearted song. I still listen to it when I drive by the beach because that’s just the vibe. Definitely a turning point for them, in my opinion, because this is when I think they really become more mature? Idk how to explain it. They don’t seem like a “boyband” anymore at this point to me, they’re just a band.

An Encore genuinely brings me to tears anytime I listen to it. It’s a SHINee ballad, and a really soul crushing one at that lmao. Idk why it’s soul crushing, necessarily, it just is.

2016:

1 of 1 is funky and fun and goofy and just so so SHINee. It’s not that other groups wouldn’t be able to perform a song like 1 of 1, it’s that SHINee performed it in a way that no other group could do it. They take every song they’re given and make it theirs, really. They own it.

Beautiful Life is another song that just makes you happy. It’s a ballad and it’s sweet and Jinki wrote the lyrics why am I only just finding this out now??! It’s a beautiful life. SHINee will always remind you of why life is worth living, tbh. Minho’s voice is beautiful in this song just a fun fact.

No korean releases in 2017

2018:

Good Evening 2018 is really hard for me to pick tbh. But Good Evening is a song that’s so heartfelt and emotional and soul crushing while still being fun? Maybe I’m projecting my own feelings from the time it was released to the song itself, but whatever. Good Evening is a bop. Love it. Makes me cry literally every gotdamn time I listen to it love that love crying on the freeway blasting this song it’s great.

Undercover was a personal favorite. Tbh a lot of the songs released in 2018 were very hard for me to listen to, and I still haven’t listened to all of them. I just can’t do it yet. But Undercover was fun and funky and idk, that’s just what SHINee is all about.

No releases in 2019 or 2020

2021:

Atlantis listen, this is also a hard decision. Don’t Call Me is quintessential SHINee in the way that it strays from the norm, it’s them trying something entirely new to them, but Atlantis feels like coming home after being away for a long time. It’s not that it’s the same kind of song they usually do, but there’s just something about that’s so familiar and comfortable.

Area is a song I cannot listen to without crying my eyes out. Doesn’t matter how many times I listen to it, doesn’t matter what time of day it is, doesn’t matter what I’m doing. It’s a beautiful song written by Minho and we all know it’s for Jonghyun. And that’s what SHINee is all about, too. It’s about the five of them being together, working together, being a team. The song makes me cry, sure, but it’s a good kind of cry. Also their voices are so beautiful as always.

HONORABLE MENTION

I fucking love Body Rhythm [2021] we all know I love Body Rhythm I feel personally victimized by Minho for promising a Body Rhythm performance and NOT FOLLOWING THROUGH I still nag him abt it on bubble idgaf. Anyways it’s sexy and horny and makes me wanna dance with someone while drinking a vodka cranberry and wearing skimpy clothes and red lipstick WHERES MY BODY RHYTHM PERFORMANCE CHOI MINHO YOU ABSOLUTE T E A S E

#anon #shinee #this was fucking Difficult #their discography is too much I have a headache this was too much lmao

18 notes · View notes

tomspancakes · 4 years

Text

This Way: Part 2

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: none

Summary: Yours and Tom’s past come in bringing a bit of tension.

Part 1

A/N: AHH I’m so glad people liked part 1! I don’t have a set schedule for posting bc I still have school atm, but I’m gonna try to stay consistent, cause writing this is so fun :))) If you have any suggestions of improvement for my writing or if you’re enjoying this please lmk! If you want to be added to the tag list don’t hesitate to ask! Enjoy Part 2 <3

“Harry, oh my god that was so awkward. I hated that, it will replay in my head for the next week.” You groaned flopping on his bed. “I am a bad bitch I’m fine, I’m fine” you reminded yourself.

He laughed at you and sat next to you, “You are a bad bitch. And yes that was painfully awkward, I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks for pulling me away though. Not gonna lie, I felt like Allana was plotting something in her head when she saw me. Did you get any vibe that she didn’t seem happy?” You asked, nervous.

“Eh wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t happy, she bosses Tom around. She tried to use me as her photographer once, but I was busy and couldn’t, but she somehow made Tom clear my schedule so that I could take pictures of her. I do not trust her in all honesty, so her plotting something wouldn’t be new..” You gasped at the story.

“Dang I will not get in her way then…” Harry laughed and asked, “What do you feel like eating tonight, love?”

“Uhmmm, oh I haven’t had nandos since the last time I was here.” You said and he nodded.

After the Nandos was dropped off at the house you all gathered around the table.

“I think I can make food like Nandos.” Harrison said and everyone started laughing, “Hey I seriously think I can. Just watch.”

“I think you can too, Harrison, I’ll be your sous chef if you want.” He smiled at your encouragement and stuck his tongue out at everyone else and Allana rolled her eyes. Oof. “Tommy, do you have spinach? I have a photoshoot tomorrow because one of the models cancelled. I can’t eat the side dishes. I’ll make myself a salad or something.” Allana said.

Harry scoffed and joked, “We don’t have rabbit food here, love.” Tuwaine and Harrison laughed, but you felt bad they were ganging up on her.

“Hey don’t make fun of her. It’s harder for us girls to stay fit whereas you boys can eat like shit and still be fit.” You said to the boys and Allana looked at you a bit surprised and pleased, “Allana, I think I saw some lettuce in the fridge. I can go grab it for you and a bowl. Gotta start getting used to the things around here anyway.” You smiled at her.

Her expression went back to being unimpressed, “Uhm no thanks. I’ll just go eat at home, I have to leave in a bit anyway.” She said and pushed the utensils away.

“Darling, you need to eat a little something, you haven’t eaten one thing since you’ve gotten here.” Tom said. Your heart clenched a bit when he called her darling.

“Tommy, god, I said I’d eat later. Don’t you ever listen?” She said everyone stared in silence until Harrison broke it, “Someone’s a little hangry…”

“Harrison shut up!” Tom said snapping his head toward Haz.

Allana was turning red, “That’s it! I’m tired of your friends treating me like this. I’m leaving, Tommy, will you come with me?” Tom got up and glared at Harrison as he helped Allana out.

“As if she doesn’t treat us badly.” Tuwaine said, rolling his eyes, Harry and Harrison nodding in response.

“Ok, but I still felt bad for her. That was a little uncalled for guys.” You said continuing to eat.

“Y/n, she literally shot you down when you were trying to be helpful.” Harrison stated.

“Ok true, but I didn’t mind, she seemed to mind when you all ganged up on her.” The boys nodded.

“Not even 3 hours here and you’re already being our mother.” Harry said laughing.

“Oh shut up, you boys love me. I’m just using the bad bitch energy Harry gave me earlier.” You all laughed.

After dinner you and the boys watched funny videos on Harry’s laptop and then headed your separate ways to go to sleep. You did your night routine and pulled on pj shorts and tank top since the boys put the heater on.

You stirred in bed trying to sleep, but the jet lag got the best of you and you decided to put your clothes in the drawers and closet. Before starting to clean you decided to grab a snack and water.

While waiting for the popcorn to finish popping in the microwave you heard the front door unlock and a tired looking Tom walked in.

“Tom? Oh my god why’re you getting home now it’s 2 am, you should’ve stayed with Allana. It’s so late!”

“Oh, y/n? And we were talking then she kicked me out, something about being alone in bed is better for her aura the night before a photoshoot. Why’re you up?” Tom stammered and you scoffed at the story.

“Jet lag. I decided to organize my room, but also wanted a snack.” He nodded sitting in front of you at the counter, “Why don’t you go to sleep now you look like shit.” You joked. He put his hand over his heart pretending to be hurt.

“Tsss ouch, y/n, but I kinda wanted to talk to you. You know, catch up.” He said looking at you with his head resting on his hand now. Your heart sped up and sighed trying to stay calm.

“Alright, what do you wanna know?” You pulled the popcorn out of the microwave and set it between you and Tom. He started eating with you.

“How’re you and Mr. Gavin Leatherwood?” His question surprised you because one; that was a very straightforward question and two; you never confirmed anything/ went public with Gavin except for paps photos of you two holding hands and only Zendaya, your family, and Harry knew and swore not to tell Tom.

“Uhm we mutually broke up two weeks ago...” You said looking up at Tom fiddling with your fingers. Tom’s eyes widened a bit and he tried to hide his joy,

“Oh I’m sorry about that y/n.” he said genuinely, “I always thought there was something off about him.” You rolled your eyes getting annoyed thinking back to the past,

“Tom nothing was wrong with him. Like I said it was a mutual break up. He’s a sweet guy, you just never gave him a chance.” You rolled your eyes. He put his arms up in defense,

“Sorry, love, chill. I was trying to make you feel better by implying you deserved better.” You scoffed knowing he was only being half truthful.

“Mhm sure, we both know that you just hated him.” Tom looked at the bowl of popcorn in defeat.

“Thanks for sticking up for Allana by the way. I know she doesn’t seem like the nicest person at first, but when you get to know her she’s a sweetheart.”

“Oh ya I bet.” You joked.

“What? ‘Not gonna give her a chance’, love?” He mocked your American accent and put air quotes in when he said that. You gave him a displeased look,

“Really, Tom? Really? Are seriously going to say that to me when you never stood up for Gavin and was actually the meanest to him?”

“Oh my god,” he groaned, “it was a joke, love. I see you still get butt hurt easily.” He said putting his head in his hands. That was it,

“Ok good catching up with you Tom. Good night, asshole.” You took the popcorn and water to your room.

Tom sat there with his eyes never leaving your beautiful figure. He groaned, beating himself up mentally for fucking things up and for checking you out.

You woke up around 7 a.m. groaning because jet lag got to you really bad. You changed into leggings and a crop top ready to go on a light jog knowing you wouldn’t go back to sleep.

When you walked down you saw that Tom fell asleep on the couch. Your heart melted at the sight, but you tried to ignore how cute and cuddly he looked. You were about to walk out, but gave in and decided to put a blanket over Tom.

“Oh mornin’ y/n, you’re up early,” You heard Harrison as he walked down in shorts and a tshit-shirt, “Going on a run too?”

“Yup, light one though. I’ve got a lot of work to do today.” You said putting your hair up in a ponytail.

“Sick, I’ll run with you for a bit then.” You smiled and waited outside for him.

When you started running it was a little silent until he spoke, “So did you put that blanket over Tom?”

“Maybe” you chuckled a bit, it was quiet again.

“Fuck it I’m just gonna say it,” you raised your eyebrow at him, “I shouldn’t be saying thihs, but he hasn’t gotten over you. I think Allana is here just to keep him on his toes. And plus he-”

“Sorry, Harrison, can we not talk about this now? I’m still trying to forget about my past with him since I’m living in his house and all.” You said breathing hard.

“You know you don’t have to do that. As his best friend I know he’d hate for you to pretend like nothing ever happened between you two.”

“Alright then, but if something bad happens because of past events I’m blaming you.” You said jokingly and Harrison laughed, “So what are all the things you need to catch me up on, I’ll let you talk now, I already can’t breathe.” Harrison laughed and started updating you on everything.

“Wait are you serious? That sounds terrible.” You said, Harrison was telling you how he face planted when he was trying to impress a girl.

“Oh my god it was so embarrassing, she was so quiet when she helped me up and took her number out of my phone!” You started dying of laughter.

“I’m so sorry that’s so sad. I can’t help, but to laugh though. She’s missing out though you’re a good looking guy.” He turned red with embarrassment.

“Aw thanks y/n. Also I can’t believe you ended up running the whole time with me.” You shrugged like it was nothing, but your legs were actually aching. You two stepped into the house to the smell of bacon.

“Oh hell yeah... wait is that Tom cooking?” Harrison asked, very surprised.

“Yes, I can cook you div.” Tom said.

You noticed he changed into sweats and he was shirtless.

“Bro the last time you cooked was when-”

Tom turned surprised to see you up, you stared at him a bit too long. He cut Haz off before he can spill anymore beans,

“Morning, love, like what you see?” You scoffed,

“Actually no, just waiting for you to burn your nipples or something since your frying bacon without a shirt.” You went to pour a glass of water and as if on cue Tom yelped in pain.

“Fuck, I burned myself.” Tom hissed and you were gonna laugh at him until you saw his side.

“Oh my god Tom! What the hell how’d you manage to burn your side?” You rushed to his side with an ice pack in a dish towel.

“Haha Tom I thought you said you could cook!” Harrison said dying of laughter.

“Harrison can you go get toothpaste?”

“What the fuck toothpaste?” Harrison and Tom asked at the same time.

“Yes, trust me.” With that Harrison scurried off to get toothpaste.

“Told you being shirtless was a bad idea.” You scolded him.

“You liked it though, don’t deny it,” you pressed the ice pack to his side and he winced, “ouch, love, I was joking.” You giggled a bit at his reaction,

“How hard is it to find toothpaste? Harrison where are you?” You yelled. You looked back at Tom, seemed like something was on his mind.

“You uh look good, y/n.” He stammered, your face heating up more and your heartbeat quickening,

“Tom don’t.”

“What I can’t say my friend looks good? You told Harrison he’s good looking.” You raised your brow. Was he jealous? How the hell did he hear that from inside?

“You’re something else, Holland. Plus you have a girlfriend, don’t think she’d like to hear you say that. Especially when I’m your ex.” For some reason it pained both of you when you said that.

You sat across from him still waiting for Harrison. Tom nudged your foot with his and said, “Y/n, I wanted to say I was sorry about last night. I was tired and being a complete div.”

You looked up at him, “It’s alright, sorry for overreacting and walking out.”

“No no you had every right to.” He sighed and was about to continue, but Haz ran in,

“I got the toothpaste!” Harrison said breathless.

“Why the hell did you take so long?” You asked as Harrison handed you the tube and winked at Tom, he rolled his eyes then face palmed.

“Oh my god, Harrison.” Tom groaned. You caught on real quick, Harrison was giving you two alone time.

“You’re not slick at all Osterfield, you literally suck.” You said as he laughed.

You removed the ice pack from Tom’s side, “Alright, Tom, this is gonna sting a bit.” You warned and spread the paste on his burn he groaned in pain.

“Whoa, Harry cover your innocent eyes!” Tuwaine exclaimed covering his face when he and Harry walked in.

“Really guys having sex in the kitchen?” Harry said.

“Oh shut up you dickheads. I burnt myself and y/n is helping me out.” Tom said, still moaning.

“Tom you’re such a baby. Harry we’re no longer best friends anymore.” You stated. Harry laughed as you rolled your eyes.

“Harrison here to save the day with better bacon than Tom’s bacon!” Harrison sang. Tom slapped Harrison’s leg. You laughed excited for how the next few months would turn out because of how eventful this morning already was.

After a very crazy morning and a facetime meeting with your manager you had to go to the table read for the movie you were shooting. Your phone began to ring, it was Harry.

“Hello?”

“Hey, y/n, I’m really sorry Sam and I are still filming right now. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pick you up in time to drop you off at your table read. Can you have one of the boys at home take you?” You began to stress a bit, but you knew that Harry was working on something really important to him.

“Yes of course. Let me know how filming goes later!”

“Thanks so much for understanding. I’ll tell you everything when I pick you up for dinner with my family! Bye, love.” You said goodbye and hung up, also completely forgetting about dinner with the Hollands tonight.

You walked to Harrison’s room and asked, “Hey are you gonna be busy in like the next hour or so?”

“Sorry, y/n, I’m about to meet up with some friends for lunch. What’d you need?” He asked frantically pacing looking for something.

“Oh, Harry can’t take me to my tableread anymore, I need a ride.”

“Hmm, oh found it!” Harrison pulled out a watch from his drawer, “Well Tuwaine is leaving with me, so I’m afraid your only options are Tom or the tube.”

“Really Harrison?” you groaned and he put his hands up in defense, “Ok have fun at lunch.”

You walked over to Tom’s room to see it empty, “He’s outside!” Tuwaine yelled from across Tom’s room. You thanked him and rushed outside to see Tom still shirtless. He was doing push-ups and the toothpaste looked glittery on his right side in the sunlight. His triceps and biceps enlarged every time he pushed his body up.

“You just can’t keep your eyes off me can you, y/n?” He said grunting while finishing his last few reps. You were at a loss for words because he did look really hot at the moment. You blushed and fumbled with your words,

“Oh uh sorry,” He turned and smirked at you, “I need another favor, Harry can’t take me to the tableread and Harrison and Tuwaine are going out for lunch.” He began walking closer to you making your heart skip a beat. What the hell was he doing? “I uh would take myself, but I’ve never driven here before and-” He was inches away from you he reached out and grabbed your shoulder chuckling,

“Alright alright, shut up I’ll take you.” You stared into each other's eyes not breaking eye contact and he reached over to slide the door open wider and he walked past you. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and rolled your eyes, you can’t let him get to you, he has a girlfriend! “We need to go in 45 minutes, thanks, Tom!” you yelled and he held a thumbs up.

“Z, I swear I cannot live in this house. Tom is acting like he’s some fuck boy and I swear he really is trying to pull something and he has a girlfriend! Did you know that?” You were rambling

“Uhmmm maybe…” She said awkwardly.

“Z! What the hell? Both you and Harry didn’t tell me.”

“What? Didn't think you’d care, cause you’re a ‘badddd bitchhh’.” You laughed at her mocking you.

“Fine, you and Harry said the exact same thing, weird… anyways what the hell do I do?” You said with your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you looked through your closet for something decent to wear at the Holland house.

“Well, I think you should just focus on what you're doing right now and focus on your growth. Sis, you just broke up with someone, be free for now. It’s time to focus on you and your work.” Zendaya was right, you needed some time to self evaluate and grow, “But also maybe look super hot tonight at the dinner, you know, take his breath away.” She started laughing.

“Z, no! You just said not to worry about boys and he has a girlfriend…”

“But…” she said, waiting for you to carry on.

“But… ok I’ll dress cute, it’s always fun doing that.” You both laughed and she told you what to wear.

“Ok I’m gonna get ready for the tableread, I’ll text you. Love ya!” You said and she said it back and you guys hung up.

“Y/n can we actually leave in 5 minutes? I want to grab lunch, my treat!” Tom said from down the hall.

“Yeah sure.” You grabbed your purse and a bag with extra clothes. You walked out and ran into Tom with a thump he held your shoulders keeping you steady.

“Oops sorry, love. Was just going to tell you to not forget there’s dinner with my family tonight.”

“Yep, got the extra clothes in here.” You said holding up the bag to show him, he smiled and took his hands off your shoulders to take the bag from you and put it over his shoulder, “I could’ve carried it but thanks, bud.” You patted his shoulder and walked off. Tom’s heart dropped when you called him, “bud.”

Tom pulled up to a small cafe that seemed oddly familiar. As soon as he opened the door for you you remembered.

Tom brought back a tray with two burgers, fries, and waters.

“This place has the best burgers in town. Closest thing we have to in-n-out burgers.” he said handing you the second tray. You told Tom you were starting to feel homesick and said he might know how to cheer you up. You smiled taking a huge bite into the burger, Tom looked at you waiting for your reaction,

“Oh my god. Absolutely amazing!” Your eyes lit up and Tom’s heart jolted at the joy on your face. He continued to watch you eat the burger that was somewhat making you less homesick, “Hey, Holland, it’s rude to stare. Eat your burger before I eat it.” You joked and he laughed while taking a bite. His heart began to race as he debated whether or not he should tell you how he feels, then he thought ‘fuck it’.

“Y/n, darling?” You hummed in response.

Here goes nothing, “I like you, y/n. I have for a while now.”

Your thoughts went back to what Zendaya was saying, “don’t worry about boys right now.” You took a deep breath and moved up in the line with Tom. “Tom is that you?” Someone asked from behind the counter.

“Oh, Ms. Sheila! It’s lovely seeing you again.” He said warmly and she came over to give him a hug.

“It’s been so long, and I see you’ve brought this lovely girl back. Is she your girlfriend now?” You widen your eyes and blush.

“Oh my uh no no. We’re just friends, Ms. Sheila.”

“Isn’t this the girl you confessed your feelings to, dear? Then you never came back after that, well only once and that was still ages ago.”

“Oh, that was a while ago Ms. Sheila. Tom and I are just friends now.” You said before Tom.

“Oh well that’s a shame you two would make a lovely couple. Anywho what can I get for you two today?” She asked as you followed her to her side of the counter.

“Two of the usuals please.” Tom asked. She nodded and brought the order out within 5 minutes.

“Now, Tom, I hope you come back more often. Your brothers still come in every now and then.” Tom smiled and promised Ms. Sheila that he’d come back more.

“How’d she know what your usual is if you haven’t been here in so long?” You asked as you both walked to a booth.

“I’d come here to get breakfast with my family on Saturdays and would usually hang out here with my mates after school. This place is really special to me, I’ve made a lot of memories here.” He said picking at his fries, only making it more obvious what memory he was thinking about. You two ate in silence for a while not knowing what to say because of what went down the last time you were both here.

“Alright, ready to go to set, love?” He asked, you nodded as you finished your last bit of the burger and he ate the last of your fries. You and Tom said goodbye to Ms. Sheila and said you’d come back again soon.

“Thanks, Tom, I owe you big time.” You said looking at him with a smile.

“No problem, but what for?” He asked, glancing at you then back at the road.

“For the meal, taking me to set, and letting me stay at your lovely house.”

“Oh it’s no big deal. You helped me heal my burn,” he paused and cleared his throat, “Uhm b-besides, Harry literally begged me to let you stay, and I’ll be gone next week to film Uncharted. So I’ll uh be out of your hair” He joked and your heart dropped. Harry told you Tom is the one that suggested you stay at their house. Now you sat there confused about who to believe. Regardless you were definitely going to have a chat with Harry about all of this.

Tag list: @averyfosterthoughts @thollandx @mrsjeffwittek @panicattheeverywherekid @racewife2004 @greatpizzascissorstaco @witchything @wheelertozier @runway-to-my-aid

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland series #tom holland x famous! reader #tom holland x actress! reader #tom holland x actor! reader #tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fandom

221 notes · View notes

enter-the-phantom · 4 years

Text

A few words on the selfship community that probably will and should make you mad (rant incoming from an angry sick person who loves their small blog friends and hates elitism)

The selfship community actually really sucks. I’m saying it, because I haven’t seen anyone else say it. I don’t care that this post is going to piss people off. I’m saying it anyway bc I’ve had a lot of meds, bad medical news, I’m pissed, and I’m tired of seeing all the sadness on my homepage from our community and I’m saying something about it. This post may get a little angry and accusatory, so if you don’t like that, keep scrolling, because I’m saying what I want to say and what needs to be said. It’s totally okay to reblog though as long as you’re not trying to fight me on this. I’m not arguing about this post. I know it will rub some folks the wrong way and I’m okay with that.

I’ve seen so many people upset and feeling invalidated bc they’re constantly ignored no matter how hard they try to participate and be included. And then I see other people, the “selfshipping elite”, if you will, who are elite often for no reason other than the “high quality” content they post or their number of followers, receive tons and tons of unprompted letters, art, etc every day and I’m just like...we can see that people are being left out and hurt. Can you maybe back off the selfship celebrities and spend some of that time supporting the new people and the small blogs? Leave a nice comment. Send a kind ask. Maybe don’t draw your fifth piece of gift art for a huge celebrity blog and send a doodle to someone who’s sad about feeling invalidated and forgotten.

You don’t have to know their chosen characters. It isn’t hard to leave a sincere comment or a kind reblog about how cute and wonderful they are together, because they are and they deserve your support. You don’t have to spend hours on a fancy art piece for them, you don’t have to flood your blog with reblogs of other ships if you don’t want to. Likes and kind comments and sincerely interested asks are fast, easy, and they cost you nothing. This community is about supporting one another. If you don’t want to participate and prefer to selfship on your own, that’s totally fine! This is NOT directed at people who prefer to ship in a solitary way. But if you do and your participation is focused on one or two blogs with hundreds of followers and notes per post, who you know has a large support system, try sharing that love with someone who needs it. (I’m not talking about ignoring your bff blog for a stranger. I’m talking about sharing your time with those in our community who feel lonely and left out.)

And don’t even get me started on the events that reward massive blogs and force small blogs to the back. I personally know at least seven people, not including myself, who have dropped out of participating in the takeover events and Letters to my S/I because they are ignored and cast aside no matter what they do and how hard they try. They send letters, they make promos, and they get nothing. They watch other blogs receive 10+ letters from their f/o’s, and don’t receive a single one. Clearly people feel comfortable writing for their favs because they’re doing it over and over and over again for the big blogs. Fuck that. And then there’s the elitist nature of how we lift up the blogs and people who create “better” and “more advanced” art and content and ignore the less experienced artists bc they’re “not as pretty” for your blog to reblog. Don’t pretend we don’t do it, because we do. The validity of someone’s feelings and ships is not proportionate to how well they write or how pretty their pictures are. It is not proportionate to how developed their ship is.

I get that this community is BIG and people will inevitably somehow be left out simply bc of the sheer size. But we can alleviate that with small, easy acts of kindness that take seconds your time. You don’t have to spend all day looking for small blogs to send love to. But you see someone on your dashboard with single digit notes, talking about their faves or posting art or writing or anything at all, tapping the like button takes less than a second. Saying something pointed and sincere and kind is so, so fast and easy. A lot of you are spending that time worshipping blogs who you think will reward you somehow for it anyway, so there’s no excuse.

The thing with selfshipping is that we, like it or not, do not receive validation from the people we love bc they cannot physically do it. They’re not in our plane of existence, they’re not “real”. And many of us use this is a coping mechanism because we do not feel loved and seen in our own outside lives. It is a terrible feeling to find a community you believe will see you, will help you feel loved and validated, and to be ignored over and over again, through no fault of your own. It messes with you, because you have not progressed to the point where you can rely on your f/o to help you feel seen, and no one will tell you that your f/o sees you. Many of us, especially those with low self esteem who are still learning to love ourselves, cannot rely on our f/o’s for that love and validation. It has to come from outside of us, from the community. And too many members of our community are not receiving that, for no good reason other than we’re too busy sending it to others who already have it.

We’re giving hundred dollar bills to some people while others are begging for pennies. Split the difference. It isn’t hard.

This community is not as supportive and wonderful as we act like we are and I’m getting real fucking sick of it.

Reblog this, get mad, tell me I’m bitter. I don’t care. I didn’t write this to be nice. I didn’t even write it about me. My relationship with my f/o’s is solid enough to where relative silence on my blog doesn’t bother me too much anymore (although to be bitter for a second here, I am baffled that I have 500+ followers and average about 5 notes per post involving selfshipping. I mean...thanks for following me. But the only people who interact with me here are maybe two or three people I know fairly well. Which is confusing. I’m more confused over that than I am bitter or upset though, I promise). I wrote this for all the other folks I’ve seen who are still learning how to believe in their f/o’s love, and aren’t being encouraged on that journey.

#negative #im sorry guys but its true #this isnt even about me im sick of scrolling through my feed seeing sad shippers bc youre all focused on like ten people #im gonna say it and wont apologise #selfshipping #selfshipping community #im learning to be more honest and open with people about whats actually bothering me and this community bothers me #oh and while im being controversial and pissing people off #STOP SHIPPING WITH REAL PEOPLE. its nonconsenual and not okay.#this is totally okay to reblog btw

354 notes · View notes

majesticartax · 4 years

Text

HELLO EVERYONE!

i am indeed alive :D i had to take a bit of a break from social media and writing to get a handle on myself and my emotions and mental and physical health. WAY TMI beneath the cut :3

Early last month I was called some very terrible things by some people in the hq fandom - it was only a couple ppl and no one I knew or had interacted with before, but it was enough to leave me shaken and terribly sad and feeling betrayed, unsure of whether I really wanted to be a part of the fandom anymore, and with quarantine still ongoing and now the protests and my country again proving that it as a whole doesn’t give a shit about civil rights or human lives, i’m just...spent. the month of May is already triggering and a difficult time of year for me as well (bc trauma) and to top it all off my physical health has been utter garbage for a while and my doctor has been less than helpful. so i’ve been taking a break from everything and trying to take more time for myself and exercise as much as my body allows, but it has been a struggle. i’m tired all the time, i can’t think well most days, my memory is terrible, i HURT, i have episodes where i can’t get enough air, i recently had a sudden weight gain that goes against the body shape i’ve had since i grew into a human, and last but not least, a couple weeks ago my thyroid was swollen to the point where it became hard to swallow. so yeah. something obviously has been very wrong with me. I’ve always been a physically healthy person, so everything that’s been happening has been wearing away at me for a very long time and I just figured that feeling this way was something I’d have to accept and live with from now on.

BUT!! just this week i was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. FUCKINNNNG SKJSHSHDKSJAG FINALLY. i was so relieved and happy that i teared up when I read my blood labs. i started meds yesterday and i can’t wait to finally feel right again after TWO YEARS of weird symptoms that my doctor just shrugged her shoulders at. i know that i’m finally going to feel better and like myself again. Every. Single. Symptom. That has been killing me points to a thyroid disorder. What the fuuuuuck ahhhhh I’m so so so happy 😭😭😭😭

so anyway. that’s what’s been going on for the past month. i haven’t quit writing! i still think about it every day, but honestly it has become a source of anxiety for me since i know people are waiting for updates. no one has been unkind and i appreciate every single ask and comment and message i get, but, shit, i want updates too!! it’s been extremely exhausting and distressing to sit down to write and have all these ideas but not be able to coax them out of me, not being able to think clearly enough to string two sentences together and being on the verge of tears thinking that i lost the ability to write.

but i can already feel the fog lifting - just knowing that i’ll be okay again after years of unpleasantness and feeling like a nuisance and a disappointment has done wonders for my headspace. i already have a healthy lifestyle so all i have to do is wait for my meds to start working and i’m PUMPED. i’m not going to give an exact date as to when i’ll start updating my fics again because it’s been hugely depressing for me not being able to hit that deadline just because my brain won’t operate, and i’m sick of letting myself and my readers down, so I don’t want to jump the gun and get all jazzed when I still might have some residual brain fog to kick.

but seriously, don’t worry i’m not going to stop writing! thank you to everyone who’s shown me kindness and concern over the last few weeks, to those of you who have asked if I’m okay 💕 and ENDLESS thank-yous to everyone for your patience :))

I’m going to start working on replying personally to asks and messages in a day or so (they’ve been piling up for so long i’m so sorry 😫) but i figured you guys deserved an explanation for my quasi-disappearance. I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe, and I look forward to joining you all again very soon ❤️

62 notes · View notes

junietc · 4 years

Text

being the youngest avenger and taking care of everyone when they had nightmares would include...

nightmares

pairings: avengers x reader, peter parker x reader

a/n: this was honestly so much fun and a lot of writing surprisingly, if you have any requests don’t be scared to ask! also i’ll be trying to post and write some more so stay tuned for more works my loves<3

word count: 1436

~~~~

no matter how tough and strong each avenger said they were, they all had encountered their fair share of nightmares and bad dreams, whether it be of the past or made up scenarios, they all got them

there was at least one scream every night

even if you were the youngest avenger, only sixteen, you basically made it your job to comfort them as most as you could

no matter what time it was, you were there though it wasn’t that hard since you refused to go to bed saying it was “for the weak”

though on the odd occasions you were asleep, you were alerted by F.R.I.D.A.Y (whom you got to shout at you if anyone was awake in the middle of the night)

bucky was the one you visited the most

he was also the first person you had tried to comfort

he constantly had dreams of his ex-hydra days which taunted him as much as they could

it was a pretty regular day, but you had to study for a final coming up, so you stayed up until probably 2 or 3 am

that was when you heard his screams

how no one else heard them was out of your explanation

you had rushed over to his room wondering what was happening and saw him breathing heavily, aggressively pulling on his hair and murmuring to himself

obviously, you went to try and comfort him

sitting next to him on the bed, you kinda sat there awkwardly for a bit, bc well, what were you supposed to do, there really wasn’t much you could do on your end because you didn’t know all that much about him enough to comfort him like steve did, but then you eventually kinda just latched on to him and hugged him

you both kinda sat there, bucky’s sobbing being the only noise at the ungodly hour

you hugged him tightly from the side and leaned your head on his shoulder

soft whispers of “it’s okay, it’s just the past” and “don’t worry”

after sitting still for a while, bucky breathed heavily and hugged you back, his tears dampening your old t-shirt

his crying was muffled in your shirt as your small figure hugged him ferociously. the both of you held each other for another minute or so until bucky pulled away, with a faint smile on his face

“thanks kid, that actually really helped”

it was from that awkward, sad and tired smile that you swore to be there for him, and everyone else of course

you would grin brightly “of course, do you want to get a snack?”

that was probably your favourite way of helping, by distracting them and getting their minds of the bad memories

from then on, you kind of just did that with all of the avengers, hugged em tight and loved them

you can remember that one night that you heard nat’s screams echoing across the tower

it was maybe 1 am and you were still up, of course, watching bad romcoms on the television and had rushed as quickly as possible to her room

she was in cold sweat, clutching on to her bed sheets forcefully, shaking when you had walked in. she noticed you at the doorframe and wiped away her tears

“hey, y/n. everything okay? could you not sleep or – ”

so you ran up and hugged her

surprised, she sat there before hugging you back and stroking your hair

“i love you nat”

you feel her chest vibrate with laughter as she sniffles, “i love you too kiddo”

you smile before pointing towards the compound, “do you wanna watch bad romcoms with me?”

“fuck yeah”

you had your special connections with everyone and special ways to get them to feel better

with steve it was a lot of trying to get him to crack a smile, maybe trying to show him memes or even just make fun of riverdale with him. sometimes you would go to the kitchen and try to bake (but really it was just an excuse for you to ramble about dumb shit and force steve to make you cookies but it made for a great distraction) or sometimes steve would tell you about life back in the 40s

with tony, you would go to the lab with him and try and build but really all that you were doing was making a mess and trying to get him to listen to songs other than acdc. you would also try and drag him to play pool with you and end up just rolling the balls into the pockets since you were shit, which really shocked you since you were so good at game pigeon 8 ball

with clint and sam you��d enjoy distracting them by going outside to the park nearby, not giving a single fuck that it was late at night/early in the morning and dancing, trying bad tricks and shouting and just having fun

sometimes you’d have gossip sessions with carol and wanda and shit about people you knew at school, the rest of the team and learn about them and their past

other times you would try and give wanda a manicure only for it to go terribly wrong and somehow you both got nail polish on your legs

you and nat would always have tea and talk about boys and gossip about missions, which included talking shit about the team and how bad they all are at lying

with bruce, you get something from the kitchens and go to the lab and try to learn, but really you were just playing with different chemicals and seeing what they would do, also having competitions of who could make the prettiest colour which often resulted in creating extremely dangerous chemicals but hey that was the prettiest shade of purple you ever saw

whenever your boyfriend peter stayed at the tower, you would hug him and cuddle as he talked about his dream and then maybe go and be kids and build a pillow fort and gossip and just bond over being the youngest and maybe makeout a little bit but like whatever

peter is always the most fun to hang out with but you guys tend to make the most noise and since neither of you are adults you get scowled at for being awake it’s definitely only by steve but you gotta love him for it he just wants you both to grow

this of course has gotten peter to use his peter tingles to sense whenever anyone is coming so you both can “fall asleep” on the couch

everyone hears you both though

your giggling is obnoxiously loud

on the rare occasion that thor was over and had nightmares, you would sit there and listen to him speak about asgard and all that jazz and then go around the tower and play stupid games like “guess the name of this” which was really just you teaching him about female makeup products

there were even times when some of them would go to your room instead and just ask for a hug

you were always there to accept them and then go and do something fun after

it’s not like anyone at the tower slept all that much anyways

yeah sometimes they’d try and force you to go back to bed because you were young and “still growing” but whatever

but what you always did was hug them and tell them you love them, because you really did. the avengers were your family, maybe a little fucked up and emotionally unstable but still, your loving and hilarious family

you were basically known to have the best hugs

but of course, you had your fair share of nightmares, now of course yours weren’t as terrifying but they kept you up at times

usually you never managed to wake someone up considering the fact that you didn’t scream instead turned to holding in your tears and aggressively doing the renegade to distract yourself

of course, there was that one time that you had a terrifying dream

you had walked around the compound and everyone was on the floor dead, their blood somehow all over your hands

you woke up, sweaty and couldn’t stop the heavy tears coming from your eyes

you cried loudly, somehow waking up the entire compound, who all came rushing to you

they ran into your room and made their way to you

bucky was the first to react, who immediately hugged you, which surprised everyone seeing as he never really was the touchy-feely kind of guy

one after another they all came and sat on your bed hugging you, whispering sweet words and i love you’s just as you had when they all had their nightmares

they all tried to have their own time to hug you

“bUt iT’s mY tUrN tO hUg y/n”

then they all decided it would be a perfect time, at four in the morning, to play monopoly together, or at least in teams since monopoly was for six players but that didn’t stop you

but yeah, so basically you give great hugs, and everything is great

44 notes · View notes

hufflautia · 4 years

Note

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them. my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help.

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

13 notes · View notes

coyotescove · 3 years

Note

ello how nene doing !!! me is very much great but im writing like shit bc brain aint workin good but anyways how you doing how was your day??

I'm doing okay-ish, could definitely be better.. Glad you're doing well though!!

What's going on with me plus a little big vent—

//Warning- I'm feeling strong emotions right now so this might not be the easiest to read.. Sorry in advance. Tw repetitive words, depressive thoughts, and overall not feeling great//

Today I found out that one of my youth group leaders (who got suspended for a year from attending meetings because he got [and ignored] several warnings) has now been banned and we are not allowed to be in contact with him at all and (more importantly) that he possibly had illicit affairs with a minor (the girl in question was either 17 or 18 at the time, we're not sure).

This hits especially hard because he was one of the few people I (and two of my other friends) felt like I could fully be myself around and that I could talk to and seek advice about the hardships of my life.

I feel terrible, not only because he possibly did something illegal and really bad, but because I thought I could trust him.

This feels like a repeat of when I found out my mother (who has been in prison most of my life) was wanted by the police for being a con artist and had lied about basically everything she told me.

That action completely shattered my ability to trust people for a while, and I've only recently gotten comfortable enough to trust some of my friends again.

It probably doesn't help anything that he (my youth leader) was one of my only reasons I kept going.. He was, in a way, my comfort person..

Fuck- It's really starting to sink in.. I really hope that he is fine.. I don't want someone I trusted with my life to completely go away like that.. I don't want him to be a bad person.. I just want things to go back the way they were..

Why is this making me so sad? At least I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow.. Then I can tell her about how shitty my day has been..

I feel guilty.. Selfish.. I knew he was doing stuff he shouldn't be, and I just kept quiet.. I wanted so badly for things to stay the same.. I just wanted to have a person I could turn to that I know would have my back and be a shoulder to cry on when I needed it..

Why am I so damn needy? Why am I the type of person who would rather die than let someone else get hurt or even minorly inconvenienced.. I want to be strong and put on a happy face but I can't even smile right now without feeling like I'm going to puke..

Why why why why why why why why why-

Fuck..

I'm just so tired..

So tired of trusting people..

So tired of them turning out to be bad or dangerous..

So tired of breathing..

So tired of everything..

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Don't worry- I'm not going to hurt myself or anyone around me.. I'm quite that bad..

I'm just sick of it..

Sick of feeling useless..

Sick of getting people I admire into trouble..

I feel sick..

Why does it hurt?

Why do I feel empty?

I'm not okay..

What's the point?

I'm not okay..

But that's fine..

It'll be fine..

I'll be fine..

...

Eventually..

2 notes · View notes

sumeshi-t · 4 years

Text

the idea of making hc’s of children is sosososo cute. i’ll follow ur steps chloe @akaashit-baeji lolol this is gonna be really self-indulgent buuut my excuse is that it’s my birthday so here it goes... i'm writing the last half of this with a hangover and a bad case of dysmenorrhea... sucks 2 be me

Oikawa Teru (及川輝)

his name “輝“ means “bright”, and this boi lives up to it because, let’s face it, he’s gonna be like his dad. he embodies this “brightness”, in a way that he’s smart, and he makes sure he and his team’s (or whichever team he’s going to be in) will shine on the court

wavy/curly hair and a victim of my and his dad’s astigmatism. always has this cheeky smile, and he gets my brimming energy so he’s really approachable and charming

very good with words; it’s like he always knows what to say

when he plays he also wears contact lenses

but don’t be fooled. in their generation, it’s him who has to put iwaizumi’s son in check. he knows everything about his teammates too, he knows more than what he lets on (which sometimes, they find creepy, but they all know he means well)

anyway, unlike his dad, he doesn’t really mind having geniuses around. instead, he watches them very closely; something like “mutualism”. he knows what he lacks and he knows he can learn from them too, vice versa.

is into horror games. in his free time, he and his sister take turns playing. and they decide it by seeing who can last the longest without flinching/screaming. he’s annoyed because his sister’s better at it

has fans, ngl. i mean look at him. however, the female fans especially, are pretty on guard. he’s approachable, but anytime they see him with his sister... they back out. he doesn’t mind, he loves his sister and it actually amuses him. he’s the same when it comes to the boys who hang around her too!

basically protective siblings who are always there for eo

is very neat. can’t concentrate when something is out of place. he keeps his nails short, has a somewhat flowery scent. yes, he uses female perfumes because he despises strong smells.

bug-catching was his childhood hobby just like mine’s was. used to sneak beetles in iwaizumi’s son’s backpack back then

he will never admit it but he actually asks his sister for fashion tips because his taste sucks ass so bad

basically his major problem or issue in life is getting compared to his father (he’s also a setter). he hates that so much, being hidden in the shadow of his dad, and when people just recognize him for being oikawa tooru’s son.

something he and ushijima’s child relate to so strongly. they’re friendly rivals; might end up being teammates in their career hmm

so when he’s the one stressed, he skips practice for a day just so he could recollect his thoughts. usually stays in the library to read books he picked up based on the titles; might either open up to iwa or his sister later on, it depends. then when he’s okay, he doubles the amount of training

Oikawa Rie (及川麗恵) it’s /ri-ye/ oki

so the kanjis are: "麗" meaning, beautiful and "恵" is blessed. tooru thought of this name obviously

also has curly hair like mine. has that tiny mole below her eye just like i do. actually has lots of moles over her body; one time she fell asleep on the couch her brother drew connecting lines between the moles on her arm and called them constellations. it was nice she thought but still, the next day, teru had to wear a band-aid over his nose bridge.

she’s just a year younger. is less “vibrant” than her brother, a bit more serious. has a resting bitch face and she’s not even sorry about it and i love her for that

she’s actually relieved she looks like that, or else she knows the girls in her class would flock to her just to get in her brother’s pants. usually brushes them off with “ask him, not me” or “do you think that’s any of my concern?”

her tongue her words damn never get to this baby girl’s bad side she’s gonna burn you alive. like fr when she’s angry, oh she’s gonna show you that she’s angry. but tbh she's very sweet, leaves little notes or little gifts to her friends every now and then

she just doesn’t want her brother’s heart to be broken (she’s heard stories from her mom about her dad’s many hs exes), and she knows teru’s struggles

therefore

doesn’t really like volleyball that much. it’s because she didn’t get to grow up with her dad around, she felt like it separated her from him. she’s not mad at him though. she’s very supportive of him and her brother.

used to play vb though when they were kids. but that’s all it was for her

she’s the team’s honorary manager lol the occasional “i brought you guys sumn” or “something-kun, a girl from my class says she likes you so do your best” etc

the team’s lil sister how bout that

despite being tolerant of horror games, this girl is vvvv squeamish. she cries at the sight of internal organs or blood. biology lab was the worst time of her life

when she dug up my hs videos she was shook to discover i once did theater. and thus begins her interest in theater too

and??? baby girl is actually???? really really good????

the girls she used to shut down nicknamed her “prima”, short for “prima donna” she hates it. hates it more when her closest theater buddy was the one who spread that around

immediately went to the gym to spike some balls from her brother. baby girl was crying because she was just so pissed.

she was given ice cream and sweets afterwards. ugh it’s so cute idk she’s baby to the team skksksk they protecc

in that upcoming play, her first ever performance, the whole team got front row seats and howled when she came on during curtain call; it was vvv sweet and memorable even if the guys were kinda reprimanded afterwards lmao

which is why, in return, boiis also have a hard time approaching her because damn??? the vb team as your knights???? excuse me???

oh have i mentioned she has a sweet tooth? mygod. she has a stash of sweets in her room. teru has had to sneak some away because she might get tooth aches or diabetes

her pastel nail polish is arranged by shade, her body clock is fucked up lmao she hates the mornings; has succulents by her window which she names after various characters from books/plays etc she’s for sure gonna be a theater actress tho

asks help from iwa’s son for math. even her brother’s 0% help. teru is smart but a terrible teacher. she’s an above-average student and that’s all that matters for her. she can leave the spotlight to her brother because she only craves one type of spotlight

Miya Seiichi (宮聖一) and Miya Seiji (宮聖二)

their names literally mean “聖” sacred then “一” is one, and “二” is two

atsumu thought it was funny. when they were kids, seiichi’s nickname was “juan” and seiji’s was “tutu” (i gave them the nicknames)

when the twins discovered the meaning behind the nicknames, they hated it. especially seiji, he despises it vvv much

so when they were hs, seiichi = chi, seiji = ji for the people they're close with

as we can see here, the twins unfortunately got my curls. seiichi likes his hair as is. he doesn’t like the thought of dyeing his hair just to be differentiated from his twin. in fact he enjoys twin jokes, enjoys tripping people up about it. seiji on the other hand, grew tired of his brother’s jokes and by the time hs started, he sacrifices his soft hair.

between the two, seiji is the one who has my ugly eyesight. add to the fact that he reads a lot (once he starts he can’t put it down. so he reads in the dark, in a moving car etc)

the piercings was a thing that happened between them, and their cousins (which were also twins wtf)–it was a 2v2 vb thing and they lost

surprisingly, the cousins weren't pleased bc atsumu didn't scold them for getting piercings (but for playing half-heartedly). seiichi wanted the piercings tho tbh it was the perfect excuse. ngl, seiji also wanted them.

first let's talk abt seiichi, aside from the fact he also got my mole (he feels it makes him look cuter tho)

seiichi's into vb, but not a setter. he's the ace. may or may not push through with it as a career. he hasn't decided yet. is actually a bit sad that seiji didn't join the vb club in hs, he wanted them to be like his dad and uncle.

seiichi doesn't have any uh, quirks like shutting the whole cheer squad up like his dad does. but he usually dribbles the ball five times before any serve (this is something i did before) and he likes the 'ooooh hey' thing the crowd does when he goes for a serve

his side of the room doesn't have much stuff going on except workout equipment. he follows what exercise plan i give him as da PT mom that i am, and he is very strict with his diet and with what he eats–he's close to not needing a calorie counter anymore; but not a picky eater. he loves his uncle's cooking very much and he is jealous he can't cook even if he tries

he can do beatboxing, he learned it through youtube lmao his spotify playlists are da bombest; he learns a lot in youtube tho in his free time. his current interest is magic tricks and french (he thinks he can use it to woo that girl from class 4)

he hates insects, and hates mess. he has had to scold his twin about it that it escalated to them having this imaginary line in the middle of the room

anyway, he's straightforward. but not rude. he just doesn't like any pretenses so he says what he thinks or feels is right. may or may not have led to some misunderstandings, but he owns up to his mistakes if he crossed a line

next, seiji

even if he looks like a nerd with his glasses tbh he is not he actually hates studying. you can love reading without having to love studying right? he's that dude

the only time that he regrets dyeing his hair was when he realizes couldn't change identities so his brother could take his exam for him

his side of the room is littered with his sketches, notes from books, pencils everywhere – he drew a bunch of ants one time on a paper and made it look like they're real ass ants and placed it on seiichi's pillow

to solve this problem, atsumu has planned to give him a tablet for his next birthday

quits vb in hs because he kinda lost interest? he still finds it fun but he doesn't wanna be put under the pressure that his dad and uncle left for them lmao

he's in art clubs tho

he designs banners/posters for the team anyway. they use his strategic mind from the shit he's read for any plays and stuff so when he's not drawing, he's thinking

he might look like he has no emotions, but tbh he is more emotional and empathetic than his brother. he cries easily over the simplest things, like those grandparents vids, or rescuing animals and stuff

and thats why he doesn't let people in too much bc he knows he'll be hurt (dw seiichi knows this vvv well, and even if they do have arguments, he loves his lil bro and helps him about this)

has once begged to have a cat at home–seiichi didn't want bc he knows his twin is gonna leave him for clean up lmao

he can cook period.

he's gonna either be an architect or an animator, still hasn't decided.

his music taste sucks lmao. his youtube recents are filled with cooking stuff; in constant conversation with his uncle abt cooking lol it be cute sometimes atsumu is jealous bc he feels his son is closer to his brother than with him

he is forgetful that's why his stuff is messy lol he keeps misplacing stuff, sometimes it's literally in front of him and he's just 'where????'

but remembers dates well, remembers plays well. he's good at nitpicking tiny nearly insignificant details. just anything outside studying? he's good. dw he passes his classes but he hates giving effort for that shit lololol

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #saleeta

10 notes · View notes

stateofirrelevancy · 4 years

Text

CALM First Listen Impressions

I’ve been doing these since SGFG and imma keep doing it till the day i die!!

Red Desert - OOF harmonies okay I see you !! Intro is hella soulful don’t tell me I’m about to cry ALREADY guys… okay that bass in the bg is thicccc and I’m living for it OOF AND THEN THE CHORUS HITS AND THOSE DRUMS BITCH THIS SONG IS SO GOOD ON JUST THE FIRST LISTEN Y’ALL AHHHHH and then that TRANSITION from chorus to second verse my mans ashton did not disappoint !! Guys I’m really feeling this song holy shit it’s so good. Bitch this RED in the bridge is rly TEASING ME like bitch KEEP GOING!!!!!!!!!! Low key this song sounds like it’s 90% saying “red desert” over and over but I’m not complaining issa bop and a half !!! AHHH THAT ENDING AND THEY REALLY WENT TO A LOWER NOTE THAT WAS SO GOOD if that ain’t my fave song on the album i’ll be hella shook. Rating: 10/10 obviously

No Shame - I’ve liked this song since the very first time I heard it it’s actually such a bop. I can’t wait to drive around with this song blasting in my car. I LOVE when Luke says “Go on and plaAaAaAce me” it’s so pretty!!! Rating: 9/10 I just wish the bridge had something different I’m not a big fan of sos ALWAYS doing slowed down choruses for bridges and once you notice it it’s hard to stop lol

Old Me - I wasn’t a huge fan of this song the first time I heard it and genuinely didn’t think it’d grow on me AT ALL, but even after the second listen I really liked it, and I’ve really come to appreciate, like, the fan service message behind it? And that music video just made me love it more. The thing I didn’t like initially and still am not a huge fan of is how autotune-y the song sounds. I know everyone uses autotune, but imo it’s way too noticeable in the song to the point where it sounds a little unpleasant once you catch it. Rating: 8/10

Easier - Okay to be honest, I hate this song LMAO like one time I was crying in the shower while I was listening to my music on shuffle and this song came on and I literally stopped crying to change the song and then went back to crying daskjfkaljl Honestly the verses are really catchy and I like the prechorus but god I DETEST the chorus so fucking much it’s so fucking annoying and that’s low key like most of the song,,, I don’t even wanna finish the song but imma force myself to lmaooooo Rating: 3/10

Teeth - I love the bass at the beginning I’m such a slut for thicccc basses. I also like how crisp? Luke’s voice sound initially idk if that’s like a weird thing to say lol. I also hate the chorus here but not as much as Easier and the other parts of the song def make up for it. Rating: 6.5/10

Wildflower - This song was also like Old Me to me where I didn’t really love it at first but really liked it the second time. It’s definitely not gonna be a favorite of the album or a song I’m probs gonna remember forever but I bet it’s gonna be a BOP at concerts which is always appreciated. PLUS I love that Calum is singing he has a very unique voice I think. Also side note I justopened the livestream and it’s a hot mess lmaooo Ash rly fucking fucked up and needed to move it onto Cal lmaoo here I thought I was in sync with everyone smh. Rating: 7.5/10 with room to grow with more listens i’m assuming

Best Years - Anyways moving on from the livestream mess from these kids who don’t know technology,,, oof first impressions: sounds like same vibes as ghost of you?? I love the line “I’ll build a house out of the mess” or whatever. The part where he sings “best yeeaaarrs” is uhhh kinda weird? I thought that when Luke sang this on live but I thought it might sound better on the track but lmao nah I still think it sounds awkward tbh. But the verses are cute. Oof that instrumental was so long I legit stopped paying attention dafkdasjlk OOF OOF OOF THAT PART WHEN THE INSTRUMENTS KICKED IN okay I live for that. Song is kinda short so it gives me vibes of Lie To Me + Ghost Of You in terms of vibe (not lyrics). Rating: 6/10

Side note: I open the stream and they’re?? Just talking abt the album???? What happened to group listen lmaoo okay I guess gotta do everything in isolation around here smh

Not in the Same Way - woah okay start right away I guess !! “You say go I won’t leave” oof I don’t like that lyric cause a bitch has dealt with it and it’s terrible!! Omg when they said “NOT IN THE SAME WAY” in unison I legit live for the boys singing in unison okay OMG WE FUCK WE FIGHT AFDKAKLDJKL he really just gets more blatant every album w these swears huh fdskjkl OOF THAT DRUM BUILD UP SOUNDED SO GOOD Okay this is def a song to bop to live I can’t wait !! “I’m sick of sadness you’re sick of sadness” oof these lyrics bitch…. okay this song is kinda repetitive which is making me kinda tired BUT it’s not the worst thing and I like the parts that they’re repeating i guess LOL oh WOAH that “eh eh ehh” part is kinda interesting OMG IS THAT AN ORIGINAL BRIDGE/THIRD VERSE? From *MY* 5sos?????????? OKAY I SEE YOU,,, Okay the repetitiveness is kinda rly annoying now but it’s okay I still enjoy the song for now but can see myself maybe not listening to this song much later bc of it (Rating: 7/10)

Lover of Mine - Okay acoustic song of the album icu icu “Butterfly lies chase them away” interesting I like that “dance around the living room” 👀 oof this pre-chorus is really good I’m such a slut for good prechoruses !! Luke’s voice sounds so soothing and smooth but the drums in the background in the second half are a little? Much? I don’t know maybe they’ll grow on me… I really like the lyrics of this song, I didn’t focus completely on everything but,, dare I say,,,, it might be some of their strongest writing yet??!? Omg I love love love these instrumentals near the end esp the piano sounds so beautiful and kind of reminded me of the interlude after San Francisco. Overall I think this song was honestly very beautiful. Rating: 8/10

Thin White Lies - more bass yessss it sounds so good,, are these lyrics about depression? Ehhh not feeling this chorus at all, too much going on and it’s just not a bop and that’s my only criteria for liking songs lmaoo. This song is giving me Empty Wallets + Babylon vibes kind of? Which isn’t rly my favorite vibe in songs tbh it’s just not for me, I don’t think it’s a bad song, though. “I don’t really like me anymore” :((((( mood Rating: 6/10

Lonely Heart - That one two three was so hot ngl,,, ANOTHER acoustic song?? Okay okay interesting. WOAH WHEN THEY CAME IN together god I love that and this OH OH OH part sooo catchy yesss okay also smth I’ve noticed 5sos doing a lot: quiet beginning (or quiet verses) and loud/bop-y choruses… that’s like half the album look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong !! It’s the equivalent of YB being mostly normal guitar verses and then instrumental pre-choruses lmao at least this I like a lot more WOAH THAT BRIDGE???????? WHO IS SINGING THAT IS THAT MICHAEL? I literally don’t recognize whose voice that is has it been that long since I heard his voice am I tripping?? But either way that was really cool. The song overall was pretty? Plain but not at all bad and it’ll definitely grow on me with more listens. Rating: 7/10

High - last song im so sad ahhh oof that sound it sounded like Michael? And it was umm very ear orgasmic lmao weird to put two songs that start like that one after the other tho but whatever. Woah the way Luke sang “highly” was so angelic !!! This is very acoustic-y too, but it seems like it’s truly mostly the same vibe throughout. Oof Calum’s harmonies sound so good. I also like the background “Ah”s this song sounds very angelic and pretty. I really like the way he sings the lyrics like “I hope you think of me high… think of me highly” and the part after that kind of mirrors that line. Not a huge fan of the lyric saying your friends just want you to yourself oof friends don’t like imma be honest that line was kinda cringy lmaoo But this song was very pretty, though honestly I doubt I’ll listen to it much or remember it just cause slow songs aren’t my cup of tea, but I can really appreciate the song for what it is and it was enjoyable to listen to. Rating: 8/10

Unrelated: I like that the album isn’t crazy long like every other album of theirs. I much prefer concentrating on 12 great songs than making 16-20 and then inevitably them hating/ignoring a few of them cause they’re like,, way worse than the rest of the album

Average rating: Okay technically 7.1/10 BUT if you take out Easier, then it’s a solid 7.5/10

I liked a lot of the songs and I’m sure I’ll like them even more with more listens, but the only ones I really LOVED were Red Desert and No Shame. It’s honestly a fantastic album, I just don’t think it fits my personal vibe. I’m very proud of the boys!! I really think it’s some of their best work. (Besides Easier,,, she can choke 💀💀)

#also idk music terms so if any were wrong pls dont come for me lol #forgot to mention this but i like the album a lot better than yb #i'd rate them sgfg > calm > yb > self titled #calm #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos thoughts

17 notes · View notes