#anyway this is why my irl relationships never work out! because people feel i don't invest enough!

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbtq community #queer #queerplatonic #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aromantism #asexuality #omnisexual

[rainbowsky]

Dear Rainbow Sky,

I was the one who asked u the earlier question anonymously. I wish to send my heartfelt thanks to you for taking time to respond so fast even though I posted anonymously. Sorry for the long essay.

I did not know what is the right etiquette as I am new to tumblr (i created this account just so I could read your blog which I really enjoyed reading.) and IRL, I am just a middle aged asian lady who is not too internet savvy, stumbling into this, and honestly a little confused why I feel so emotionally invested in this, as you say!! (Sorry new turtle)

Wishing you a great weekend ahead! My thanks once again!!

🙏🙏🙏

This is in reference to a previous post.

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛

I have some advice for new turtles, so let's dig in.

Thank you for writing back, kaijumama, it is nice to be able to put a name to the message! No need to apologize or feel you've done anything wrong. I know I can come off as brusque sometimes, but I've gotten a lot of a certain tone of message lately and I'm trying to set some boundaries around what ends up in my inbox.

Anyway, I know what it feels like to be emotionally invested in GG and DD and their relationship. It is a difficult thing to explain to anyone who's outside of the fandom, but it's a feeling and a connection that builds, and sometimes it can become very emotional or feel very personal.

All I can tell you is, take your time, relax and find a region of turtledom that feels soothing and warm, and everything will rapidly improve for you.

When you are a new turtle it can feel like everything has a lot of significance. It can feel like everything is either proof they are together or proof they've broken up or never were together in the first place. I think a lot of turtles go through that phase and it can be a roller coaster.

It's important for all new turtles to realize that if a claim or narrative you're being told about GGDD or something relating to them makes you feel horrible about yourself and about being a turtle, chances are really good that it was intentionally crafted for that purpose by haters. Avoid, block and ignore.

Usually that experience becomes a lot more stable and relaxed as time goes by and you become more familiar with the fandom and with the various ideas and theories and bits of information we base our beliefs on, but getting there can be a struggle emotionally for people who are very invested.

All I can say to that is:

Enjoy GG and DD and their works. That should always be our main focus as fans. It has the added bonus of being very enjoyable and enriching to our lives.

Take your time to get to know other turtles, get familiar with relevant social media accounts, and get to know the core turtle content and theories.

Avoid and ignore anti messages (and if a message makes you feel like a bad person or like being a turtle is bad, it's an anti message - yes, even if it seems friendly. A lot of antis phrase things in a concen-trolling kind of way to get under people's radar). Block and ignore.

Exercise patience and restraint around new information and claims that seem unsettling. Don't immediately freak out. Take your time to learn more. Trust that if experienced turtles are not freaking out, tearing out their hair and crying, then everything's probably just fine. It's so easy to get sucked into despair and confusion as a new turtle because you don't yet know the significance or lack of significance of something. Experienced turtles do.

Use your feelings as a signal about where you should be. If you feel really bad and stressed out, you're probably in the wrong area or among the wrong people. Find a corner of turtledom that makes you happy and avoid the ones that don't.

Stick to turtle spaces at all times - especially if you're a new turtle. This is for your own well-being, so you won't get misled and abused by antis. That means staying away from all hashtags on Twitter (even bjyx and yizhan ones, because antis frequently post to those), this includes staying away from hashtags of GG and DD's individual names (staying off Twitter entirely, IMHO). Avoid all solo spaces, including GG and DD's individual supertopics and fan clubs. More on that here.

Do not engage in fan wars or arguments, especially if you're new. You'll get eaten alive, and nothing will be resolved. You're not going to change anyone's mind.

Understand that we will likely never be directly, clearly acknowledged or thanked by GG and DD as fans in a clear, unambiguous way. Quite the contrary, GG and DD will sometimes have to distance themselves from us for the good of their careers and to mollify solos. GG and DD give us what they can, but there's never going to be a grand public declaration of support and appreciation for us. The situation will never allow for that. GG and DD will always have to cater to solos above us, and that will always lead to solos feeling superior and being dicks to us. That's just the way things are.

Realize that part of being a turtle is being marginalized and hated. There are so many groups that will be out to get us. Homophobes, GG's solo fans, DD's solo fans, people who are against what they view as 'shipping real people' (I don't 'ship' anyone, I believe GG and DD are in a real relationship), people who think we are delusional creepy weirdos, people who are against fandom in general, people who hate celebrities and fan culture, people who hate GG and DD, people in our daily lives who 'don't get it' and feel annoyed by our fixation, etc. etc. It just goes with the territory.

Embrace uncertainty. This is not a fandom of knowns and for sures. GG and DD will almost certainly never come out and confirm their relationship. Most of the theories we have will never be confirmed or factually fully substantiated. We will likely always have to deal with a certain measure of doubt and uncertainty. That's just the nature of this fandom.

Remember turtles have shells. Build yours, because you're going to need it. Being a turtle is not for the faint of heart.

One important thing I can say to you and all new turtles:

Almost nothing we see about GG and DD will be significant to their relationship.

A lot of new turtles try to evaluate every bit of info about GG and DD through the lens of whether it proves they're together, or whether it proves they're not. In reality, almost none of the information we see will have any significance or connection to their relationship either way. Viewing things through such a lens is unnecessarily stressful and frankly a bit foolish.

They're both individuals first and foremost, so while it's nice to hunt for candy sometimes, it's also important to keep perspective and remember them as individuals who have their own lives. The vast majority of things we see/hear about have absolutely nothing to do with them as a couple. More on that toward the end of this post.

It's best to avoid seeing/interpreting everything through the lens of whether they're a couple or not. Most joy/pain extremes can be avoided that way. Just enjoy them and their works, and the rest will follow over time.

You might also find my fandom survival guide helpful.

As a new turtle you might also find my masterlist post helpful. A lot of older topics, common questions and background can be found there.

Here are a few posts I recommend for new turtles:

BXG Glossary

BXG Calendar

About Kadian

GG and DD’s projects

Is YiZhan real?

Which do you love more?

Proof they’re still together?

Fandom Survival Guide

BXG Fandom Etiquette

Why so much hate from solos?

“I came across a nasty rumor about them online”

#bjyx #yizhan #bxg perspectives #baby turtle #fandom reflections #ask

[suzukiblu]

It feels a little weird and awkward to say this but thank you? For doing so much accidental baby acquisition/baby acquisition stuff in general? Its kinds always been my favourite thing to both read and write (has consistently been for over 10 years now) but people seem to majorly have a thing against it (especially when the parents are teens, which like, kinda fair because thats not SUPPOSED to happen irl, but thats also what makes it so interesting to explore in fiction yknow? Especially as a teen pregnancy baby myself) so I always feel very discouraged from writing that stuff. People go on and on about "kids not being a mandatory life step that everyone wants to do, stop giving these characters kids" and I'm just sitting here, absolutely certain I'll never want kids myself, wanting to explore the topic in fiction, and feeling super hurt by that. Why cant those people just leave it alone if they don't like it? What happened to dont like dont read? Why do they have to pick on people who write these topics?

That got a little venty, sorry

Anyways, I just really want to thank you for writing kidfics so often, as weird as that is. I've only been following you for a month but its already made me start feeling better about my own writing and favourite tropes. Its dumb to let assholes get to me, but they do start wearing you down after 10 years yknow?

Thank you, I'm so glad you're liking my stuff! And don't sweat it on the venting, I get it, lol. Sometimes you just gotta vent some.

Honestly I was kinda meh on kidfic/baby acquisition fics when I was younger and tended to go the "don't like/don't read" route on them myself, but these days it's just kinda helpful to be able to get out some of my feels about both how I was parented and how I'm very unlikely to ever BE a parent despite having previously wanted to, so like, accidental baby acquisition especially has just been REALLY vibing with me as a genre. Like--in the sense of if I ever end up with a kid myself, it almost definitely will BE unplanned and accidental, and also in the sense of my feelings about the idea of making a very deliberate Choice about being a parent, as opposed to just kinda doing it as another checklist item on the list of expected things you just do as you go through life.

Also I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about your writing, it's nice to hear I could help with something like that. ❤ I've been very lucky with the reception I've gotten for my stuff, generally speaking my readers either just don't engage with what they're not into or tell me "hey I'm not even into this, but actually I really enjoyed the way you did it once I tried it". So like, usually I prescribe to the theory of writing about things I care about and trying to be honest and not self-censor too much about the feelings and thoughts I have on those topics, and just try to let my audience find me via tags and word of mouth. If there's people who aren't into my preferred genres, then they can just go play in their own corner of the sandbox and I'll play in mine.

Plus fuck it, man, I just like writing cute kids and also working out personal trauma and helping other people just, like, get the catharsis of reading a healthy parent-child relationship. It just feels good, y'know?

#anonymous #rintalk

[acacia-may]

Acacia's Definitive Defense of Langris x Finesse

No one asked about this pairing, but I'm going to ramble about them anyway... especially since I realized I don't think I've ever actually written a proper post about them as this has been sitting in my drafts for over a year (A/N: Yikes! Sorry friends. I completely forgot I wrote this until today when I tried to find that post I was absolutely certain I had made about Langris x Finesse only to find it buried in my unposted drafts 😅🙈 But I'm posting it now to coincide with the ship ask game so it kind of works...? Maybe? I have no excuses...).

Anyways, dear goodness do I have thoughts about this ship. I’m not sure I can even wrangle them all, but I am going to try my best.

I’m sure it’s pretty clear from my blog that I have a deep love for my spatial mage boys and want good things for them which is one of the main reasons why I have a lot of concerns about the whole House Vaude soap opera. A friend of mine (irl) and I once discussed that plotline for literally 6 hours so I could go on and on about this for ages, but I have tried my best to be brief. That didn't really happen so I apologize in advance for all of the rambling.

I've tried to keep the focus of this post on Langris and Finesse's relationship, so please check out this post if you want to hear my many thoughts on the House Vaude succession drama as whole and in general. To keep things organized, I've divided this discussion into 2 main subsections for clarity under the cut!

(Warnings: Black Clover spoilers and discussion of some heavier topics such as childhood trauma and abuse. Arranged marriage is also mentioned)

Why I Think Langris and Finesse Genuinely Love Each Other (not necessarily in a romantic way but definitely in a selfless care and concern kind of way)

One of my most basic premises for my personal interpretation of Langris' character really comes down to the fact that I think what Langris actually wants more than anything else is unconditional love and to be accepted for who he is (rather than what he does/his accomplishments). He wants to have people who love him, a family—but he'd never admit this because he is convinced he'll never get it. He is convinced that love needs to be earned and he can't earn it, and his relationship with Lady Finesse is a perfect example of this, I think.

It hurts Langris that she is just the kindest person ever and she doesn't like/love him (or such is the reality in Langris' mind anyway given the fact that he has carried around that one time she complimented Finral as "she hates me" for literal years in the canon. But I digress). Langris doesn't like games he can't see a possibility of winning. He closes himself off from love and building meaningful relationships because he doesn't think he'll "win" people's love in the end. He's very cynical and jaded in this way, but more than that, he's wounded. It comes from a place of being denied love without strings attached, without conditions for his entire life and of being told his by his parents that love has to be earned and being convinced that he can't earn it, that nothing he does will ever be good enough and that he will never deserve the love he so desperately craves. And in that way, it comes from a fear of being hurt and rejected. When you care about someone, you give them the power to hurt you—and Langris doesn't want that kind of vulnerability. So I think he just completely counts himself out of the running when it comes to Finesse and defers to his brother—assuming (probably correctly) that she’d choose Finral if she was given a choice between the two of them.

All of that said, he can't quite stop himself from caring for her with a genuine love and respect (not necessarily in a romantic sense but he does care for her)—it’s just sealed off somewhere and not something he really thinks about or allows himself to feel (let alone label) until his brother "declaring war" on him brings all of that to the surface and he kind of has to reconcile how much he wants to be the Head of House Vaude (what he’s worked for his entire life) with how much he wants Lady Finesse to be happy. I love how in that scene there is actually a moment (at least in the anime) in which "the camera" turns and we're watching the scene unfold from Langris' eyes/perspective immediately before he gets involved and tells Finral to clean up his act.

(A/N: If you listen very carefully you can hear the sound of Langris' entire world falling apart...)

Okay, bad jokes aside, this is a huge moment for Langris. It takes him all of five seconds to decide that Lady Finesse's happiness is far more important to him than House Vaude, than his title, his future, his own dreams and aspirations that he has worked for literally his entire life and, ultimately, is more important than everything he has looked to for his own self-worth and fulfillment up unto that point (which causes him to have a bit of an existential crisis as he tries to figure out who he is without those things, without being the next Head of House Vaude, but I digress again). It is an incredible act of love to set aside what someone wants for themselves in order to make another person happy—to choose what is best for another person even at great personal sacrifice. Regardless of how you want to qualify that love (romantic or platonic), it does not diminish the gravity of Langris' sacrifice and the willingness he shows to choose Finesse's happiness over the things that are (seemingly) the most important to him in the world.

Up until this point, Langris is this incredibly goal-oriented character who is set on becoming the best, the strongest, and eventually the head of House Vaude which comes off as self-interested and a little ruthless in his willingness to do whatever it takes to achieve his goals, but suddenly, here he is, ready to give all of that up so that Lady Finesse can have the chance to be happy. It's almost like he is saying (honestly, far louder and clearer than any words possibly could), "I love you more than all of that."

Why else would he be helping his brother take over as heir to House Vaude when that actually seems to be something Langris wants for himself? (I know the poll I ran examined some different ideas and interpretations but that's always been my personal take on it). It’s almost like in that moment, Langris has realized that he can’t make Lady Finesse happy (even if he wants to), but he thinks that Finral can so he wants to make Finral into the best he can be for her.

Once Langris is reasonably sure that Finral is at a place that he can make Finesse happy and has become a man "worthy of her," I could definitely see him stepping aside so that his brother could take over their House and marry her—purely out of concern for Finesse’s happiness, and there is something incredibly selfless and very beautiful about that.

I think Finesse's side of things is much more practical. The fact of the matter is that Finesse is royalty in a medieval society where she will inevitably be married off for a political alliance and/or to produce children, and she has probably always known that she needs to marry out of duty/responsibility, so I can’t really see her as that much of a hopeless romantic given the circumstances. If she allows herself anything, it is the hope that she will get to spend her life with someone who does care for her and who she can be content with. I don't think throughout most of Finesse's life and certainly not throughout this whole arranged marriage business that anyone has ever really asked her what she wanted or ever really cared about her wishes before, but Langris seems to have a genuine interest in her wishes and her happiness more so than anyone else. And I think she does care for him (again, not necessarily in a romantic way but it is a genuine care and concern of at least friendship).

As I discussed in this post, when Langris has all that elf-business and the King threatens to dissolve the betrothal and punish the Vaudes, it is Finesse who comes to their defense rather than taking what is quite possibly her only chance at an "out." And it is an informed, free choice on her part. I love her line in the English dub that she "knows Lord Langris and has no misgivings about him" and therefore essentially begs her uncle not to "judge him too harshly." I think there is something very strong and very courageous in her decision to believe in the good in Langris even when he is at his worst, and her concern is truly and completely focused on what is best for him. I'm especially thinking of that moment when she begs him to stop before he does something he will regret. She's worried about him: his hurt and his guilt. She really wants what's best for him, and it's this love for him and this belief in him that really brings out the best in Langris.

My absolute favorite thing about this ship (besides how selfless they are towards each other) is really that Finesse has this way of bringing out this softer, gentler side of Langris that, I think, very few people have actually seen. Langris himself is so insistent on hiding this (probably a learned response from growing up in an environment where any hint of emotion and any sensitivity is viewed as a weakness), but really he has such a deep capacity for love and given the opportunity would be fiercely loyal.

Langris may not care about a lot of people, but the ones he chooses to care about he will love forever. He's just such a tsun about it, I think, so it can be very hard for anyone (and especially for those with preconceived notions of him as a snotty stick-in-the-mud) to see that he's really very sweet and awkward as heck about his feelings. Langris' love might be quiet—it's not very flashy and usually shows itself in doing little, everyday things for the people he loves—but still waters run very, very deep and he has shown that he would do just about anything to protect the people he loves most and make them happy, no matter what that means for himself. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he would die for Finesse if it came down to it.

Ultimately, I can imagine a lot of different outcomes for this relationship (some of which never, ever cross over into that romantic place). I really just want them both to be happy whether that means they end up together or not, but yes, I could see them happy with each other in a romantic sense under very specific circumstances since they do have such a selfless love for each other (but I think that is probably a discussion for another time because this is already super, super long so I'm cutting myself off in favor of the next section...).

Why I personally think Langris rather than Finral is better suited for Finesse

As much I don't like pitting ships against each other, I don't think it's avoidable in this case since she is going to be in arranged marriage with one of them. To paraphrase a favorite musical of mine, it's not a matter of "if" but which one. And I think it's best for me to just start off by saying that while I do genuinely like and appreciate Finesse and Finral as a ship as well, I personally think that Langris and Finesse are better suited for one another in the long term.

I will admit upfront that this is in part because of my own personal experiences of having a chronic illness (and needless to say that is a personal bias that colors my opinions, so please just keep that in mind), but I think it's important to talk about the fact that Finesse is chronically ill because it's not something I've ever really seen discussed when talking about ships for her and I really think it should be taken into account. Like Finesse, I have been sick for most of my life, and I can really relate to the kind of difficulties and limitations that Finesse likely experiences due to being chronically ill and the realities of the less active and much more slower-paced life she would lead and, by proxy, the life anyone who married her would have to lead. Again, I am not saying that I don’t like or couldn’t imagine her & Finral together (I do genuinely like that ship too), but I almost think Langris is better suited for her in that he actually wants (or seems to want) the slower-paced life they’d probably have together. For instance, there are likely to be frequent situations that would arise in which Finesse is too ill or too tired to go out and her husband would then be “forced” to stay home with her. With Langris, I think, there would never really need to be much of that feeling of guilt on Finesse’s part or the fear that she is taking away something from Langris or being a burden, because Langris isn’t super sociable and would just want to stay home anyway. In fact, let’s be honest here, he’d probably, actually feel kind of relieved that he has gotten out of unwanted socializing. Whereas Finral is a much more lively and sociable person (rather than an "old soul" like Langris), and though Finral would never, ever want Finesse to feel like a burden or to feel guilty about being sick, I could imagine there is more of that feeling (at least from Finesse’s side) that he has given up a lot more to be with her since his active social life would drastically change as soon as they married.

There's also the matter of the panic Finral would probably have whenever Finesse was ill or having a flare of symptoms. Of course, Langris would be worried as well, but I think because of his personality, he is better able to shelve that and help in a crisis rather than Finral who gets really worked up and then just sort of shuts down. Obviously this is something that can be learned over time, but I just worry that it would be a constant source of stress for Finral which would ultimately make Finesse very worried about him and upset that he is upset on her account. I think Finesse would have a lot of fear that the life she could give a lively, busy, & social person like Finral would be holding him back in some way. The question there is really: will what Finral wants out of life ever gel with the limitations Finesse has to live with? Whereas I don't think that question is as much of an issue with Langris since he is an old soul and incredibly steady, very unlike his more restless, adventurous, and high-energy brother.

I think Langris and Finesse are alike in this way. Though they have many differences in their personalities (and a really nice balance there), they have a lot of similarities in worldview and their attitudes towards life and their life goals—being more traditional, formal, and proper ‘old souls.' Whereas I think she and Finral have more similarities in personality (despite him being much more lively), they’re both incredibly kind, gentle & easy-going people who aren’t particularly ambitious and often make decisions based on what will make other people happy and "keep the peace." But worldview wise he seems much more modern and less traditional than her which I could see causing some tensions since I think they want different things out of life, in a way. It’s almost more important to be alike in life goals/worldview than personality, I think.

I also think Finesse and Langris share common interests and genuinely enjoy each other's company (as we get these glimpses of in the anime where they're just having a quiet, comfortable tea parties together for instance). Even if it started off as an obligation to spend time together because of this arranged marriage they were going to be in, I like to think that eventually Langris and Finesse actually became fairly good friends and came to genuinely enjoy each other's company. I guess it’s a bit unfair to Finral to bring this up since we haven’t seen him spend a lot of time with Finesse so we can't say that they don’t enjoy each other’s company but I just don’t see them having the same shared interests that she would have with Langris.

There is a lot more I could say about these two and their relationship, but I think that's enough ramblings for now. If you read this all the way through to the end, bless you. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Cheers!! 💖

#i love them so so so much #langris vaude #finesse calmreich #langris vaude x finesse calmreich #finesse calmreich x langris vaude #finesse x langris #langris x finesse #i can't believe i never posted this (what is wrong with me?)

[amuhav]

All the odd questions of the Edgy/misc OC ask meme for Loch please.

What memory would your OC rather just forget?

His one-night stand with Ash. Because Amir was right, Loch wasn't some stupid confused teenager anymore. He was a grown man who even drunk knew it was a bad idea, knew he wasn't in the right headspace to give more than that, knew he was in a rebound friend's-with-benefits thing with Alice only because he'd just got out of another relationship and questioning his sexuality and whether he was even capable of being a person in a relationship, with anyone. He knew all that, and still got drunk and did it anyway. He convinced himself they both knew what they were doing and one brief moment of pleasure would be fine, when it really cost his already spiralling mental health, and the trust and mental health of Asher. And even though they're good (mostly) now, he knows he can never take it back, and he can never change that it put Ash in that vulnerable position for someone like Finn to swoop in.

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Not communicating honestly with people. Not just Ash, but really anyone. He rarely lets anyone know his actual wants and needs, I guess because growing up they didn't really matter.

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

I mean, depends. We know Loch has very specific lines he won't cross, but... he is still a Karaish, and all of them have a sort of built-in "the rules don't apply to me" kind of mentality lol.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Loch was supposed to AroAce which is honestly hilarious to me now. I mean, he is very much not asexual at all lmao, but he is kinda still on the aromantic spectrum. He knows he's never felt any romantic inclination towards any women, but he's not sure how that applies to men, though to be honest, he's at a point now where it doesn't really matter. If it's not Asher, it's no one. I really don't think he'd ever have actually been with someone legitimately if it weren't Ash.

What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

His words, and absolutely lol. It comes out more when he's drunk, but even sober push him enough and his tongue turns vicious.

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

Absodamnlutely lmao. Mainly because we're pretty alike, but also because it reminds me of the catty banter relationships I have with my friend's IRL, or some of my old work friends. Extra yes because he's a guy I could have that kind of friendship with knowing he wouldn't be catching feelings too so I wouldn't have to worry about it lol.

Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?

Noooooope. All of Gen 3 happened before I really knew of the concept of face claims lmao.

What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

Made his parents emotionally absent af whilst still being physically present lmao. Like, there's so many specific events in his life I could point to instead, but him stepping in to parent his younger sibs is like, the root cause of most of his issues. But his parents weren't ever abusive, or even truly neglectful, and in their own way they are still loving parents. So it's kinda... complicated? Like, he loves them and can't hate them, and he feels any bitterness towards them isn't really worth addressing, and it's not like they can do anything about it now anyway. Like, it's not going to change what it did to him. It made him the person he is and that can't be undone, so why ruin that relationship now?

How does your OC behave when enraged?

He usually either gets bitchy or he lashes out, depending on the specifics.

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

~anxiety~. for which he currently takes meds and has been through a course of CBT.

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Vulnerability. He hates feeling it, and hates showing it. So he runs from it, or twists it into something else, like anger.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

He's a lil bitch and honestly, I ~vibe~ with it lol. Especially now he's making that petty, bitchy side of himself more public. Like, there's a lot about him that drives me fuckin insane, but his cattiness definitely isn't one of them lmao.

#ask my characters #Loch Karaish #dandylion240 #🎵He's a BITCH. but I love him.🎵 to the tune of He's a Tramp lmao

[hearteyes-for-killmonger]

Could you possibly write a Michael x Tessa story where they are a married couple wanting to have a threesome with Y/N?

A/N: *Disclaimer* I don't typically write shipping two actual people especially if they're friends irl because my thinking is if they ever see it, it could be awkward for them. However! I feel like Mike and Tessa would be fine since they're on-screen love interests anyway. So, moving on!

After years of being close friends and working together on camera, Mike and Tessa decided to give it a real shot. The chemistry was there, the attraction was there, the love was there, so why not try? It's not like they'd stop being friends if things didn't work out.

At first, to Tessa, it felt like making out with her brother. She had to learn to blend feelings she'd compartmentalized and lean into those sexual thoughts. Mike, on the other hand, was easy. The same day they'd agreed, he was ready to jump her bones.

The familial barrier that still existed between them took patience, consistency, and getting to know each other in a new way to overcome. Then, one day, it broke. After dating in private, Tessa decided to tap his thigh, indicating her desire to escalate. They were at an event, but that tap meant that he should get his ass up and follow her to a private place so that they could fool around. She was private but bold. To her pleasure, he was becoming the same way.

It took an entire two years of dating and a private marriage for the both of them to go public about their relationship. Life became easier with no need to hide. However, Mike's Instagram liking never ended. He still had roaming eyes as well as urges that Tessa wasn't blind to. Tessa had eyes as well, and Mike's tastes weren't always bad. Also, if she were honest, having sex with Mike day in and day out was a little boring. There was no variety.

Many couples would split at this point. Some would would develop disdain. Mike and Tessa weren't the type. They had an honest conversation. Mike wanted a hall pass. He wanted agency to sleep with other women, explaining that it was purely sexual. Still, he wouldn't step out without her permission. Tessa wanted freedom as well. She wanted to date other people, have sex with other people, and connect with other people. Mike was only one man.

It was agreed. They'd remain married but open the relationship. That way, they'd both be happy. That was when they met you. You were an extra on the Creed 5 movie set, but Tessa gravitated first.

You were excited to speak to her. Her personality matched your expectations. She is calm and relaxed, bold and verbal, quirky and interesting, down to earth, and majorly gorgeous. She seemed so kitchy, posh, and in control. You could see yourself getting drinks together, hunting through an old country shop, or getting massages.

It was after you connected with Tessa that Mike approached you. He'd never done that before. He was never rude, just focused. Suddenly, he was starting a conversation and interested in kicking it on set. You were amazed that both of them would actually enjoy your conversation.

Then it escalated. You were asked if you'd like to join the two of them at an easy-going first-time viewing of one of Tessa's projects. Of course, you jumped at the opportunity. You attended, and you watched, giving an honest review. Tessa smiled, flattered.

"Hey, you should hang out with us a little longer," she suggested. Her seductive qualities were subtle. You didn't know if she intended to give you that vibe, but you were very much interested either way. You knew Tessa was queer. You knew you too were queer. You knew you were attracted to her. If she wanted you to stick around, you would. You followed her small flirtatious cues all the way to one of their homes. It was only you, Tessa, and Michael, and Tessa was giving you signs.

Her speech became less cryptic and more forward. She began to ask you questions regarding your sexuality, your sexual interests, and your availability to engage in sexual activity. You were single as far as she was concerned, and Tessa-sexual, willing to blow her mind further than Mike did or was ever was capable of doing. It only took her unbutttoning her designer blouse and turning her back to you, removing and dramatically dropping her bra as she climbed the stairs, holding an arm across her boobs. You followed her up and sat on the boho-themed white bedding, removing your own clothes in a slow tease.

You were pleased to find Tessa's eyes on your body through each move. To know that you could seduce her with your eyes, your curling fingers, your curves, and your slow movements... you were drunk on your own feminine power and luring her in.

Under cover, your bodies tangled and tribbed on the cool white sheets. They were so comfortable, and Tessa's skin was soft, smelling amazing. Her hair smelled amazing. She was simply a joy. You rocked with her knee between your thighs, her coochie on your leg. She was hairless except for a small close-cut designer patch. You looked at it for so long that you had to eat it.

That's when Michael came up before you anticipated. You stopped immediately. You'd all but forgotten that he may discover the two of you and fire you. Honestly, you didn't care. You were in bed with Tessa! Tessa didn't seem as surprised when Michael entered the room. They began small talk and Michael sat on the edge of the bed.

"Oh," Tessa smiled, looking at your confused face. "We have an arrangement."

It didn't take much for you to understand that they did this type of thing often. You could sort of tell by her lack of reaction. Still, she looked hesitant to ask you something. You looked to Mike. He was waiting for her to ask. You could guess what it was from the context.

Moving the white blanket from the two of your bodies, you bared yourself in silent invitation. Mike pulled off his shirt and stripped down layer by layer, showing off every muscle gain. He also had condoms galore. He was Donnie in the flesh, sexy, and you felt wonderful being in the mix of a Donnie and Bianca love scene. He started on his wife while you watched them kiss up close, Tessa's hand still making contact with you. He rolled over to give you room to follow up. Suddenly, Tessa was a bit more aggressive in her lust while Mike watched.

He found his way in, pulling his wife's hips, seeking a warm and wet hole. He wasn't disappointed. You straddled Tessa to kiss Mike, getting a shot of the power in this lips on yours and on your body. You'd always wondered what it would feel like. When he slid out of Tessa, you were positioned to delight in a taste, sucking him liberally. Of course, he just had to taste his wife from your lips.

You changed position, face to face, in a passionate liplock with Tessa as Mike switched back and forth, digging out his wife, then you with a nice sized dick. Every time he pulled out, you felt the emptiness, but he'd come back 15 seconds later to finish the job.

It was a good time and you'd enjoyed it. Mike left the room after a strong orgasm to take a shower. You took one after him and redressed with a driver to take you home. It was pleasant, and they didn't switch up once the night was over, which really impressed you. The three of you continued to casually interact once they saw that you could be private and respectful of what you all did in private. It was no one else's business if you had a threesome. At the end of the day, you were just three normal people.

@dashhoney25 @lettidarawest @soufcakmistress @ljstraightnochaser @princessstevens-blog @eye-raq @thiccdaddy-mbaku @destinio1 @iamrheaspeaks @hidden-treasures21 @bidibidibombaclaat @forbeautyandlife @blowmymbackout @misspooh @thotyana-in-this-hoe @purplehairgawdess @thegucciwaffle @goddessofthundathighs @theegoldenchild @thadelightfulone @sultanabby @mysticalblackhottie @baekhyunbabybunni @fd-writes @richonne4life @tgigoldie @thehomierobbstark @capswife @blackpinup22 @harleycativy @lishabaybee @playgurlxoxo @sunshine-flower

[buckybarnesss]

agree with you when it comes to misogyny in the fandom (and in general lol) and shipping etc and I wanted to dump this here because it's been bugging me and I have nobody to talk to about it irl that hasn't heard me muttering about it before but why do people seem so anti-romance in general? I see 'Star Wars doesn't need romance or a love story' all the time and I can't help but feel like it falls into the misogyny category a little because romance is seen as something inherently feminine or 'for the girls' ig so people think it's an unnecessary addition to a plot but it can actually affect a character and how they act/think etc so much whether that's for good or bad, hope that makes sense?

obviously not every character needs a great romantic love and Din-doesn't-need-or-want-love enjoyers do your thing but even in the first season he clearly considers Omera and seems open to the idea at least, so people being against Bo just doesn't make sense to me? has she done bad things? well yeah but what character hasn't in Star Wars? and even if it's not Bo I still see it thrown around that Star Wars doesn't need a love story but why? what's wrong with romantic love? there are other shows that they're making/have made that yeah shoehorning in a romance would've made no sense (i.e. Kenobi, I mean I've not watched it but I can't imagine a love story working in that) but the Mandalorian hasn't set itself up to be a show like that?

I hope this has made sense but I basically wanted to air that out and it just came to me reading your answers to other questions that it's probably at least a little misogyny that plays a part in that anti-romance feeling going around or that makes sense in my head anyway

(also Jyn and Cassian soulmates truther here so if people wanna beef about them pls consider not doing that or I'll cry, they're basically built to be perfect for each other so???)

i wanted to publish this before tonight's episode (i just woke up for work 😂).

i agree. it's always when there is some prospect of romance for these kinds of female characters that the "we don't need romance" brigade comes out. like, there's nothing inherently wrong with romance nor is there anything wrong with not wanting romance. it's preference. but c'mon it's not star wars even has a lot of it on screen for major characters. at least healthy relationships or ones that don't end in untimely death.

i can name the actual romances on one hand probably and further discussion is going under a read more out of sake for length and because some minor spoilers for clone wars and rebels.

padme amidala and anakin skywalker ends in tragedy, the eradication of the jedi order and the fall of the republic. anakin turns into darth vader.

hera syndulla and kanan jarrus again ends in tragedy. he sacrifices himself to save hera, sabine and ezra.

bail and breha oranga perish in the destruction of alderaan.

obi-wan kenobi and satine kryze never officially get together as she's dutchess of mandalore and he's a jedi knight. she's murdered by maul to spite him.

vel sartha and cinta kaz external circumstances and cinta's devotion to The Cause of the Rebellion put them on shaky ground.

han solo and leia organa are depicted as a kind of volatile relationship and we never actually really see them be a couple on screen besides some crumbs. by the sequels they are separated.

cassian andor and jyn erso dead before they could really have a relationship.

galen and lyra erso ends in lyra being murdered in front of galen.

owen and beru lars seem to be a relatively normal married couple but than they get brutally murdered by the empire so.

so where's the over abundance of romantic relationships in star wars?

i'd like one couple in star wars that doesn't end in a tragic demise or a "casualties: everyone in the local vicinity" type of scenario.

besides a "strong female character" doesn't have be devoid of romance.

allison argent still says it best "can't i be strong and go to prom?"

#my blog #dinbo #the mandalorian

[welcometomyoasis]

idk but like my standard is on thE GROUND so. anyone willing to understand me and still love me and give me cuddles and know like the basics abt me and im like gone. and this is gonna get really deep and shi but like honestly do you belive in like true romantic love? because i thought i did but i dont, because divorce and SA rates are at their peak and like yeah. :( thats why i love reading romance and watching romcoms. i can never do angst cuz there's enough angst in life so yk

sorry for the deep talk but idk you seem like a really cool person and it feels easy to talk to you!! but!!! i do believe in platonic love so!!! youre doing great!!!

-🌱

hello my dear 🌱 anon, my full reply under the cut because it's very long 😅 and also because warnings: talks about SA and toxic relationships.

same? because i'm so introverted that i really don't talk to anyone irl. it's just the fact that a person might be remotely interested and i'm just completely infatuated with them. really a terrible way of liking someone... just saying from personal experience...

honestly, i'm not sure if true romantic love exists. i used to think that it did, but now i'm kind of on the fence about it. you see, like you said, there's divorce and the SA rates are sky high, though i do believe that there are a whole bunch of other different factors that lead to those things besides love. eg. right time, wrong person or right person, wrong time. then there's toxic relationships and situations where people mistake love for obsession? and ofc there's that whole thing about lust vs love. like did you love the person because they made you happy physically? or did you love the person in their entirety.

in my opinion love (in general) is just a very complex thing. so on the other hand, when it comes to true romantic love, there might be very rare cases where it does exist. in those cases, to me there's a need to really pinpoint and distinguish what is it about the person that you love. and i do believe that true romantic love comes with selfless/ unconditional love, love that comes with the acceptance that you will need to make certain compromises and sacrifices. there's a need to just accept the other, flaws and all. it's not necessarily about pushing their flaws to one side and disregarding them? rather it's taking that those flaws are part of who they are and addressing them when necessary. that kind of love comes with being vulnerable with each other, revealing the aspects of yourself that you are most uncomfortable with. it shows how deep the trust is. it's also about working through whatever comes your way. idk whether this makes sense haha. but yea, that's my opinion of it.

i get you on liking the romcoms and stuff. i do prefer angst (in fact i'm writing angst right now haha) but yea, sometimes all we need is fluffy love stories to drown out whatever angst there is in real life.

ALSO PLEASE. I LOVE DEEP TALKS. you can talk to me anytime you want. 🤭 i'm literally smiling so much rn thank you for thinking of me. it's really easy to talk to you too! i have so many opinions on love honestly... idk... are you peaking into my drafts because i was looking into the 7 types of greek love for a fic...

side note: i absolutely believe in platonic love as well. i think the greek word for it is philia? yea i had a whole conversation about it with my friend the other day... it's about deep genuine connections and love between friends. people always confuse it with eros and stuff but that's a whole other problem.

anyway. YOU'RE ALSO DOING GREAT MY LOVELY 🌱 ANON! ILY!

#letters for shu ✏༝༚༝༚ #anons ✮⋆˙ #🌱 anon ✮⋆˙

[morgana-ren]

I have sent you a truly embarrassing number of anon asks over the last two months and you have been so creative and kind in every one of your answers. I found your blog and it really means a lot to know that there are other people out there with a similarly f'd up relationship to sex. Makes me feel a bit less like a broken freak. You don't need to respond to this if you don't want to, I just wanted to let you know.

Honestly, I love it. That's the trouble with OCs is there isn't a fandom or like.. somewhere you can turn to when you want to indulge. The entire thing rests on people who know them and are interested in them. If I want to read about Reaver, I can (sorta, anyway, because his fandom is dead and all the stories are mostly long gone) but it's not my Reaver. Ilya and Corvus just have nothing but what me and my friend write. Astarion is currently being dissected by the fandom and it's vastly different than what I'm looking for (even as I love doing that too.)

What I'm saying is I love the questions. It's a lot of fun to think about them and these specific scenarios and I got really lucky that I have people who take an interest. I genuinely want to get to all of the questions at some point, and I'm running through them with love. I genuinely have a lot of fun answering them and I love seeing questions about them. I think it's really cool and fun that people care and enjoy them like we do! It's fantastic to see because sometimes a new hyperfixation or character is a fuckin' lifesaver and I will never turn down making new content when my head isn't working to make it originally.

I've known I was 'busted' since I was really young, and in a way, it's the healthiest thing about me. I've had time to break it down. I recognize where these desires come from, why I feel them, and where they're initially stemming from, and I know it is absolutely not something you put up with irl. I know that me liking people like this isn't some grand statement on me as a whole, but a fantasy that stems out from my experiences. I accept it. I don't feel bad about it or really feel a need to explain it. People can think it's gross or unhealthy or whatever else have you if it makes them feel better, but I am sure of myself and know it doesn't make me a bad person. It just is. It's never something we have to justify. Most people who grill you or are cruel to you have legitimately no idea what they're talking about. I've been a darkfic author for long enough to see the ridiculous fandom wars that arise over dumb shit like this where people sling shit baselessly despite knowing nothing.

I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm saying it because I have seen what people have to say about the matter and like, from a psychological standpoint, they are completely incorrect. I went to school for this. It was my dream career for a long time. Most people just say shit but don't actually understand the processes behind it. They operate on gut instinct and that gut instinct is immediately "Disgust" if they cannot relate. But instead of having compassion and trying to be supportive or trying to understand or just leaving us alone, they lash out because they are physically incapable of putting themselves in our shoes and feel they have 'morality' on their side, and that allows them to act like amoral twats towards other human beings, ironically enough.

It has a way of making us feel broken or bad or just not like a good person. When you're beset on all sides and you know your interests are strange or that something isn't quite healthy, it's easy to fall into that pit. But nothing is ever so simple, especially with the human brain and growing and learning and becoming a person. It hasn't bothered me in a long time and honestly, it is so, so freeing. I'm totally fine with it. I don't feel guilt or shame. It just is. Other people can think it's odd, but I've always been odd. No big shocker there.

Sex is complicated! It can have a remarkable impact on the brain! Humans are fragile while also being incredibly resilient. Sometimes things scar us, and that's okay. Sometimes we develop strange desires. Sometimes we end up with warped ideas. It's normal and okay, and really, there isn't any 100 percent sure fire healthy way to deal with things. For some, it's fantasy. For others, complete abstinence. Some people choose to never unpack it at all. The important thing is knowing your boundaries and the ways you should be treated in real life. Never letting someone hurt you or step on you or disrespect you. Your body and your desires are your own entirely and what others have to say means nothing. They will treat you with respect or you have all rights to completely cut them out and off.

Knowing the difference between fantasy and reality is the biggest thing, and it's a line I see people blurring or incapable of seeing every day and that is legitimately scary. It's important to look at things and understand yourself. Know that it's okay. You're just you, and that's not wrong or broken or disgusting. People have a very hard time understanding other people's perspectives and they really like to make that everyone else's problem. Don't let it get you down.

There's tons of us out there. It isn't nearly as uncommon as they'd have you believe. Hell, it's not even as unhealthy as they'd have you think. It's okay to be okay with it. It's okay to embrace it as long as you are putting boundaries up in your every day life and are good to yourself. That is what is truly important.

Thank you so much and I appreciate every single message you send. I haven't gotten a single inbox I've disliked or didn't find fascinating and they're always a pleasure to answer. Always feel free to send me anything!

#morgana and friends

[kwmnsfw]

My personal opinions on each Trigun ship IK of

VashWood: In regards to the manga and 98 continuities, this is the OTP. I love it platonically, romantically and/or sexually, but there's too much OOC stuff of them out there. Then again, that's normally the case with the most popular ship of any given fandom (I feel the exact same way with NoriTaro/JotaKak in the JJBA fandom, albeit not as a sexual relationship for obvious reasons). I'm not so keen on Stampede VashWood as it's currently unclear if WW is actually an adult like his counterparts are

VashMeryl: Same as manga/98 VashWood, but I don't see nearly as much OOC content due to the fact that there's less content of this ship in general

MilFwood: Adore this ship, despite being aware it only really exists because of the 98 anime's comphet. Would love to see more content of this ship

MerylMilly: workplace relations are in. They're made for each other - literally!

StryfeWood: I didn't initially see what others saw in this ship, but it's grown on me quite a bit

VashMilly: I somehow can't see these two in a romantic relationship? Is it because they're too alike imo?

Polygun/MAshWood/any other combination of the above ships: I think I'd prefer to be in a monogamous relationship if I were to be in one IRL, but in fiction polycules make everything better IMO

MillionSummers: the manga really sours the idea of the ship when you learn that Knives met Legato when the latter was a preteen. If anything, the ship works best one-sided on Legato's end - Knives gives big aroace vibes to me, and probably sees Legato more as a son or protege if anything (even then, I headcanon Legato as being incapable of most sexual activities nowadays due to genital mutilation, not to mention he almost certainly lost any proper sensation from the neck down after the Fifth Moon incident in the manga anyway...)

KnivesMeryl: I don't ship it (again, aroace Knives), but I don't dislike it either. It's fine

KnivesMilly: *poke* HYAH! (iykyk, if not - it's in the Roman Album artbook for the 98 anime, but I can't find a currently available translation for that particular segment ever since TriCord went down) In all seriousness, this is the same to me as KnivesMeryl

LRWood: I don't mind people that do ship it, but it's not my thing since I see these 3 as brothers moreso than lovers (same with anyone from the orphanage)

LR/Milly: I really like the idea of this pairing platonically. I also headcanon that LR 'fathered' a child Milly would have post-TriMax, but serve moreso as uncles to her rather than dads.

LR/Vash: I can only really see this as a rebound on Vash's end - it wouldn't unfortunately last very long

LR/Knives: I don't mind other people shipping this, but I don't really get it.

CrimsonFang: not normally big on enemies-to-lovers, but I can see why people ship it. The sexual tension in their fight is palpable.

Vash/Legato: the foodplay would be insane, but I doubt Vash would willingly consent to that. And considering his history, I think Legato would respect that. So basically, fun idea but it wouldn't happen.

Legato/Midvalley: It's a neat ship, don't see it around a lot though. Guess most people either don't care for the hornfreak (understandable) or prefer their relationship as simple coworkers instead

Midvalley/Wolfwood: Same story as CrimsonFang, except I don't care as much for Midvalley as I do LR or Elendira (or especially Wolfwood) so...

BDN/Vash: destroy that twunk's holes.

Gasback/Vash, Gasback/Wolfwood and Gasback/Vash/Wolfwood: again, destroy those twunks' holes. Whoever said Gasback and Vash probably fucked in a pub's bathroom stall and never spoke to each other afterwards (events of BLR nonwithstanding) is so right.

Vash/Amelia: NO. Did we watch the same movie?

Wolfwood/Amelia: Works best as a close friendship, Amelia gives huge lesbian vibes to me anyway.

Any ship involving Roberto: I don't get it, sorry.

Self-ships: fuck yeah go get that bread! People that think self-ships are cringe need to find some whimsy in their lives

that ship: stay the fuck away from me if you like this. In fact, stay away from me if you're a Stampede Kni stan at all. I do not trust you.

#this goes here instead of main since I mention sex occasionally and don't want the kiddos who follow me to see that #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun stampede #trigun 98 #trigun badlands rumble #vashwood #vashmeryl #stryfewood #insurance girlfriends #mashwood #polygun

[mostlikelytofangirl]

This is maybe a bit personal but I can tell you from personal experience that abusive behavior doesn't necessarily come from a place of strategy. Abusive tendencies can come from places like:

"I need someone to blame (because the real culprit is inaccessible)"

"Make it stop make it stop make it STOP" <- the other person is providing some kind of trigger or stressor unintentionally and without malice, but the result is still that it's hurting you. So you will do anything to make it stop.

"You disagreeing with me (opinion) is you disagreeing with Me (identity)" <-sense of self is dependent upon 'winning'

"You can't leave. I can't be alone." <- fear of abandonment and loneliness

The difference between abusive tendencies and being an 'abuser' is merely habit. Sure, some people would rather find a convenient punching bag than try to actually deal with their issues and break those habits if given a choice, but not everyone is self aware enough to know that there is a choice. And some people who are still fuck it up. Every choice you tell yourself will be Just This Once can easily become a slippery slope to bad habits.

I've seen plenty of relationships go sour or fall apart because of the above. It sure sucks empathizing with both the abuser and the victims when you are supposed to believe the the abuser is one of Them, while you are one of Us, and you could never be Them.

Anyway, I've read fics of a lot of characters I love being abusive/abusers and liked them because their potential to be their Worst doesn't cancel out their potential to be their Best. We are multifaceted creatures with no true self constantly affected by the impermanence of nature ect ect.

Sorry for the long ask about abuse haha. None of these are even textbook, just observations. Reminding myself it's okay to disagree.

– Regular Anon

Hello again anon! Once again, sorry for the late reply ^^;

First of all, I just want to say that I'm sorry you went through this and I in no way try to invalidate it. You are fully entitled to how to experience your fandoming through the lense of your own life circumstances.

About the topic of abusers and abusive behavior, it is indeed much more complex than just "bad person does bad thing to another one". Maybe the way I expressed myself in the other reply could have suggested otherwise, but I didn't mean to imply that all abusers are these masterminds that know exactly what they are doing and plan everything. That's just the pattern of behavior they developed through their own circumstances for whatever reason it might be.

However, that's one heavy and delicate topic I'm not equiped to tackle, and honestly, neither do I have the mental and emotional energy to deep dive into orz.

I was just exposing my point of view about why I PERSONALLY and very BIASEDLY think that in JGY's case in particular, him being an abuser doesn't work for me, starting with the fact that FOR ME he is not a villain to begin with.

That was the core of your question, so that was what I focused on in a way that explained where I come from with my opinion. I can't in no humanly possible way account for every instance in which my opinion doesn't fit this or that other experience. This my own personal interpretation of this fictional guy in a fictional story, and neither should it serve as a sample of how I feel about real life abuse or any other irl situation (or we would start playing into antis' rethoric tbh, only able to enjoy pure media or putting disclaimers everywhere about how we don't condone this Bad Action from this Bad Character)

I think it's obivous that we stand on different sides on this issue and that's totally ok! I have no intention of trying to change your mind, I merely offer my opinion that your question requested ^^.

There's a lot of diversity in the fandom and always a fic for every need, so if you find that this portrayal of JGY is in-character for you, then all the power to you, I fully mean it! You are clearly the target audience the writers are trying to reach :D

For me tho, it doesn't, so I just don't engage with it bc fandom is a great place for exploration and meta, but also for unwinding after a long day and just have fun.

#replies #mdzs #jin guangyao #I'm sure there are more eloquent metas about this subject #I just can't get more physolophical rn #fandom in where I go to unplug my brain from the mess that's real life #and at the end of the day I'm just gonna focus on what's fun for me #if I want my problematic fave to be a happy flower shop owner then that's the extense of my psychological deep dive ^^; #maybe after this entire shitshow that I'm going through passes I'll be able to give deeper answers orz

[queenlyregent]

some thouhts on a thing that's been getting on my nerves recently:

shipping wars are so weird. I don't know if it's always been like this because usually I try to avoid them but sometimes I come across them anyway and end up amazed at the discussions people have.

like, in any fandom that has a love triangle or multiple popular ships involving the same character, people (including myself) are gonna pick sides. they point out and debate about their reasoning for why they find a particular dynamic compelling or even more compelling than the other option(s), which again, is to be expected.

to me, the weird part sets in when they then try to argue based on morality, as in my experience, the arguments become riddled with hypocrisy, disregard for the actual source material and attacks on those who disagree with them; for example: my ship is inherently morally superior to yours because character a once did a bad thing! (completely ignoring character b also doing bad things/ the moral system of the story being different/past or possible future character growth and development/the action not being objectively bad but maybe coming off as such based on own personal experience/people finding relationships in fictional work interesting that they wouldn't approve of irl/literally any other nuance)

like, it's okay to have a personal preference. you can just say that. it's completely fine to like one ship better than the other because of your individual feelings on the character(s) involved. that doesn't make you somehow morally superior to others who have a different preference tho.

(all of this is not to say that there are never situations where one relationship is objectively toxic and the other isn't - even then, policing what people enjoy in fiction is weird, most of the time - but I am talking about situations where these discussions are entirely benign. a big one that always annoys me is the kataang vs zutara debate (no, you are not a pedophile if you like the former and pro colonisation if you prefer the latter).

I love shipping and having a normal, healthy discussion about which ship is "better" can be fun and further your own engagement with and understanding of the fictional characters involved, let's he happy we have entire online communities of others so invested in the source material to have them, and let's also remember that in the end, it usually comes down to personal preference and that's okay.

#never have i ever #I know this is probably not a very original take lol #but I really felt the need to state this #ship wars #shipping #zutara #kataang #recently read ya series 'the hawthorne legacy' and as we're awaiting the final installment this energy has been strong #grayson x avery #jameson x avery #also recently watched netflix's and this energy is strong in the love triangle debates as well lol #daxton #benvi

[pooopopop]

I've seen nearly all of J2M's panels, interviews, posts, read articles about them and their own provided works etc. I find them all observationally fascinating and approach trying to understand them and their different life experiences with an open mind and can acknowledge that certain situations aren't always going to equal the whole truth of a famous someone because I will never know them personally and therefore cannot ask directly. Conventions/panels, for instance: they're for entertainment purposes, part humor and sarcasm, part truth. Stories, interactions, are often going to be embellished.

Whilst none of them are perfect — literally no one is! — and of course I don't know them on an intimate, personal level, I still feel very confident in saying that they're inherently good people, based on the conclusions I've reached from my own research. That doesn't mean I'm incapable of scrutinising certain behavior or thinking critically just because I'm not agreeing with your opinions.

I could continue to refute a lot of your points individually by offering a different perspective (and draw attention to where your so-called facts are simply incorrect) but I don't think persisting with circular arguments is a worthwhile use of time. You're entitled to feel differently about these things and clearly have made firm decisions based on the "evidence" you've gathered about Misha in particular. I rest assured knowing your POV is not the majority. ✌️

I mean you’ve been sending me long anons for days already and I’ve gone to the trouble of providing sources for all my claims for *you*, I don’t know why you couldn’t do the same if you’re already invested in talking to me anyways. If there’s individual claims I made that you take issue with because you don’t think they’re credible and I didn’t supply my sources, please be specific, and I’ll provide what I can to show either what I’m referring to or how it brought me to having my opinion. I think people just make excuses and justify questionable behavior in order to keep their attachments to them. Even if you think you’re looking at them critically and from a distance, you’re still fostering a parasocial relationship, and nobody is “inherently good”, least of which are rich celebrities. That doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy them. I enjoy Norm Macdonald, the IASIP cast, and a lot of other people without needing to make sure I’m weighing their every sin and good deed on a scale, in order to keep enjoying them.

The difference is that these people constantly go to conventions and everybody besides J2 is pretty accessible. Misha in particular has gone out of his way to foster this environment where he knows the happenings in the fandom and recognizes fangirls, acknowledges them, responds to them on social media, sometimes meets up with them IRL, and has had things like Gish and his community phone number where he’s been even MORE accessible and uses terms of endearments with everybody. The last part feels especially suspect to me because it proves he’s speaking to an audience of fangirls (and people of whatever adjacent gender who are attracted to men, obviously, but we’ll still refer to them as fangirls for brevity’s sake and because I think calling them “minions” is stupid infighting shit that aligns me with J2ers).

I’m speaking to people on here because tumblr is a historically horny and obsessive fandom space and people are joining this fandom all the time and they are only made aware of whatever the circle jerk tells them first. Not only does it foster a bad relationship with middle aged men that you don’t know, and if you did know then it’s because they met you as someone who is a fan of them, it also fosters a bad community environment. People end up having whole friendship networks that depend on unquestionable loyalty to these men, and a hierarchy is created based on who proves themselves to be more devout; in their determination to defend these men, defend the people that they surround themselves with, defend their beliefs, and their every action big OR small. From Misha supporting ICE, the Clintons, the predatory advice in the threesome’s handbook, to the dumbest little things like how he made a Threads account and positioned it as a better alternative to Twitter. This fandom routinely cannibalizes itself and purges the whistleblowers out.

and I got triggered by that karla gif set the other day lol. SailorSally joined the fandom after November 5th and knows nothing but praise for the man, and while I didn’t send those anons to her I can sympathize with them. The cockles fandom can be the worst sometimes because they really push the narrative that he’s queer (and gay for jensen) because they think it’s a testament to his character and therefore it discredits a lot of the shit I’m complaining about. Even if they’re not tinhatters, then they think it positions Misha’s virtues above Jensen, because I guess he’s supposed to be like a bullied gay kid who is still so loving and affectionate in the face of Jensen’s Toxic Masculinity and Homophobia, or something, despite Jensen having gay gossip rags and magazines profiling him as a closeted cutie for way longer with a lot more persistence. Tbh

#Misha collins #jensen ackles #cockles

[bolontiku]

Hi!

Hope I’m not coming across as a party pooper but I’m a former med student (dropped out in 4th/final year before residency for reasons that would require a long explanation, but feel free to ask if you are really curious haha) and I just want to caution you against getting into anything with that doctor.

Whether he’s a resident or has a permanent position there, he could land in some pretty hot water for getting involved with a patient. I’m Canadian so not sure how things work in the States, but the stuff that goes on in shows like Grey’s or House would absolutely not happen irl, and if it did, people would get fired or have a black mark in the record.

I mean, all of the consequences would be for him, of course, so you don’t have to worry about any repercussions (unless you are also planning to enter the medical field lol), but he knows what’s at stake, and probably isn’t going to risk it for a relationship (esp, since the tuition for you guys is like triple what ours is, so he likely has more student debt to pay off and residents don’t make much).

I’ve just seen a lot of behind the scenes stuff and how careful we are told to be, even as med students in terms of our social media accounts, etc. so whatever vibes this guy is giving you, just be careful.

If you want to have a fling or something I guess there’s no real harm in that haha, but just don’t hope for a relationship or anything. Sorry if this sounds rude or condescending, it’s just the reality of him meeting you as a patient is unfortunate in terms of relationship potential :(

I mean it does happen, like I’m not going to say a doctor has never hooked up with a patient or even gone on to have a long term relationship with them, but the odds are stacked against it. And again this is from a Canadian perspective so take it with a grain of salt.

Anyway, hope this wasn’t a day ruiner of a message, and I don’t want to imply that he’s skeevy or anything lmao, he could just be a friendly person and that’s honestly great because a lot of docs literally don’t give a shit about their patients, and won’t even do you the courtesy of pretending to care🫠

Nawww, don't worry about it lol. The chances of anyone being remotely interested in me is like 0% haha. Like not even on the Grey's anatomy chance. 🤣🤣 in Grey's world I wouldn't even be a patient, I'd be like one of those people that are at best blurry in the background, shown on screen for like a split second. 🤣🤣

Which is why I haven't been a dunce and outted his name or location or anything like that. It's all in good fun- reason why I said it's fanfic/novella fodder. I like to pretend others might be interested in me when I know it's more likely a man would walk on the sun before ever wanting to be in a relationship or even a situationship with me.

I'm like this horrifyingly toxic person irl. Just the worst my friend. I have no real friends and I tell people this and they still like having me around sometimes... 🤔

Poor guy he's so nice.

I forget that not everyone knows what a joke I am and that I would never take anything like this seriously. Thank you for being kind enough to reach out and warn me, I promise I am not a delusional person that thinks someone would actually be interested in me. It's all in good humor. Maybe I will put a disclaimer on any future posts...

#chaos journal #tiku answers #no one would ever be interested in tiku #lol