#anyway time travel my dear heart!! i have missed u <3

[tartglias]

diluc, kaeya, albedo and childe when they’re in love

“ahh ok i just discovered ur blog and this is my very first ever request to a blog. so uhm can i req diluc, kaeya, albedo & childe headcanons on what they'll do when they're in love? like, will their attitude change when they're around the reader HAHAHA it's ok if u remove a character <3 if u don't want to write it feel free to ignore hehe”

Diluc

Even though you both decided to keep the relationship away from the public eye, it’s not shocking that certain people come and ask if you can deliver a message to Diluc. It tends to be Kaeya or even Jean, whenever the Knights of Favonius are too busy to handle something a little too dangerous. Sometimes it’s even Venti, trying to persuade you to convince Diluc to lower the dandelion wine price.

Whoever the person is, they come to you because they know that Diluc has a soft spot for you. If something catches your eye, expect it on your doorstep the following day. He loves to spoil you, to the point in which you have to tell him to stop gifting you things, and that his love is and will always be enough.

And obviously, they know that if someone can convince him of doing something, that someone is you. It’s amusing how the normal situation switches when it comes to you. If Kaeya approaches him and asks for a favor, expect a very angry Diluc rolling his eyes and turning around, completely dismissing him while trying to not make a scene in front of you and the other costumers at the tavern. But, if it’s you who delivers the message, he just sighs and meditates it, eventually giving in. You see him smile slightly once you quickly kiss his cheek and thank him.

“Why do you always decline these requests but accept them once I ask you?” You once asked, looking up to face him as you cuddled him in bed. His hair was messy and untied, but he still looked beautiful, specially under the moon light.

“Because you’re not annoying” he simply said, caressing your cheek. You stared at him, unconvinced. This earned you a soft laugh from the man beneath you.

“I don’t know, I just can’t say no to you. Which is funny because now everyone knows you’re my weakness” He said.

It was then and there that he understood how much you meant to him. You could ask him to pick up every single Cecilia flower in Mondstadt and he would not hesitate to do it. It was dangerous, and he knew that, but his feelings were too strong.

“Kaeya will definitely use this for-“ “I love you” he said, interrupting you. Your eyes widened and a small gasp left your lips. It was the first time he said the big “L” word, maybe the first time in his life.

“I love you too” you whispered, still in awe from his previous confession.

He kissed you deeper than ever before, transmitting every single feeling he had into the kiss. You meant the world to him. He was in love.

The rest of the night was filled with quiet “I love you”s and cuddles, eventually falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

Kaeya

One thing that helped him understand his feelings for you was that he could just be himself.

His past forced him to wake up and put on a facade as the flirty Cavalry Captain that had every person in Mondstadt wrapped around his finger. But you were different. When he was with you, he was Kaeya. No fancy titles, no social etiquette. Just Kaeya. Not only he felt comfortable enough to be himself around you, but you also seemed to like his true self as well. And that’s how he realized.

After long days filled with commissions and some paperwork, he would come home exhausted only to find you already waiting for him. Without need for words, he would wrap his arms around your waist and hide his face on your neck after leaving a small trace of kisses.

“Long day?” you asked as you gently hugged him, untied his hair and started brushing it with your fingers. He would reply with a small “hm” before looking up and kissing your lips.

This sight could confuse an outsider, since Kaeya, with his oh so flirty social title, is usually the one calling out for you or keeping his hands on you at any moment. Kaeya is not afraid to show his love to the world, and he makes that very clear in public. Yet, this sight made him look vulnerable, and that was something he reserved just for your eyes. You made his walls fall down, you made him vulnerable in the best way possible. He felt at peace when he was with you, and that feeling used to be so foreign to him due to the secrets of his past. But here he was, in your arms as he rambled about his day without care in the world.

His attitude towards you in public never changed much, always finding his way to make you swoon and fluster you. He loves to let everyone know that he is yours and you are his. But, once the doors close behind him, he would let his guard down completely with you. He would cling to your body as he seeks for advice or talk about his worries.

“I think that it’s best to ignore Pallad from now on since he always gets-“ you started saying, but noticing how Kaeya was looking at you made you lose your trail of thoughts. “Wh- Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You make me feel better about myself” Kaeya said, snuggling closer to you. He let out a chuckle when he heard you mutter a “huh?”

“You make me feel at peace, and I haven’t felt like that in a long while”

Albedo

Relationships were kind of new to Albedo, he wasn’t certain about the right way to show affection. But one thing he was sure about was that every time you came to visit him in his research room he felt funny inside. Funny in a good way, he felt a sudden urge to hold your hand or make you smile. 

To understand this feeling more, he started doing research on couples in Mondstadt. Was he the only one that felt this way at the sight of someone he cherished? Or was this the beginning of him becoming a monster and destroying the city of freedom at last? Lucky for him, he realized that it was considered normal to smile whenever you see your s/o. 

While he was doing his research, Klee appeared holding one of her treasures. She wanted to show Albedo her newest creation, but instead she found him staring at some old couple sitting by a fountain. She thought it was a strange sight. “What are you doing?” she asked, startling him. “Research” he simply said. “On old people? Why don’t you do a research on me? I’m young! And I have treasures!” “I don’t think you can be of use in this research” he said, sighing. 

It took Klee a while to understand what was happening, but when she did she started giggling uncontrollably. Albedo just stared at her wondering what was wrong with the child. “Albedo are you in love?”

Love, such a strange concept. He read about it, and now that Klee mentioned it, he realized that it made sense. He felt funny every time he managed to make you smile or laugh, and even more when he saw the blush on your face after complimenting you. He realized that the “funny” feeling happened because he loves you. He loves when you visit him, he loves when you ask him questions about his research and when you offer to help him. He loves you.

He immediately started searching for you, he felt the sudden urge to see and tell you about this discovery. Once he found you, he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face. You looked beautiful, and you weren’t even trying. You just came back from a commission and your hair was messy, and he noticed that your clothes were a bit dirty too. Yet you looked mesmerizing to him. 

“Albedo! I was on my way to visit you!” You greeted him once you saw him, kissing his cheek. 

“I made a new discovery today, dear.” He said, taking your hands in his. “I discovered that I’m in love with you”

Childe

If there’s something Childe is gonna do, is spoil you to no end. Similar to Diluc, if he noticed that something caught your eye for more than 3 seconds, expect it by your doorstep soon. And don’t even try to stop him, he just won’t listen.

Since he has to go away for weeks due to his line of work, he wants to spoil you so you don’t forget him. Not that you could anyways, you always thought of him and even prayed for his safe return. When he comes back, expect little souvenirs from his travels and stories he may or may not exaggerate a tiny bit.

He loves whenever you wear things he gifted you, and loves to tease you about it. “May I know who got you that beautiful necklace dear?” he would ask with a smirk on his face. “You, Childe” “That’s right, the best for my favorite person in the world”

But his love doesn’t come in material things only, he also loves to spend time with you. There are times that he has to go away for long periods of time, and after a few weeks he starts missing you so much he just has to send someone to pick you up and bring you to him. On those occasions he makes sure to do everything he has to do in the morning so he could spend the afternoon exploring with you.

His line of work is dangerous, and you know that. There are times in which you’re exploring some ruins with him and treasure hoarders appear. In those cases he asks you to close your eyes, and only open them when he tells you to. Under no circumstance he wants you to witness this side of him he tries so much to hide.

Once it’s over, he would reach to you gently and tell you to open your eyes. When you do, the sight in front of you breaks your heart. He was alright, not a single scratch on him, but his face was filled with worry and fear. “I’m sorry” he would say, closing his eyes and taking your hand. “Why are you apologizing?” “I’m a monster” he said, not daring to look at you.

It would take you a few minutes to convince him that he actually is not a monster. Those treasure hoarders appeared out of nowhere, and threatened you. He was just protecting you. “This is what I do all the time, how are you not scared of me?” He asked. You hugged him very tight, not wanting to let go of him until every drop of fear and guilt leaves his body. “I know you would never hurt me”

He knew you were right, he could never hurt you. He may think he is a monster unworthy of your love, but he knew that he could never lay a finger on you. And as you hugged him tight in front of some random ruins you were exploring, he realized he was in love and swore to himself he would do anything to protect you.

#genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #albedo x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #diluc headcanons #diluc scenarios #genshin impct scenario #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact headcanons #diluc imagines #childe scenarios #childe headcanons #childe imagines #kaeya headcanons #kaeya scenarios #kaeya imagines #albedo imagines #albedo headcanons #albedo scenarios

[4haechie]

right here, right now

pairing: lee donghyuck x reader

genre: fluff, idol au, established relationship au

words: 1,782

warnings: the usual swear words here n there

a/n: this was such a cute request, thank u so much! i hope u like it, anon <3 and sorry it took a while :(

hey

come over

i miss you

you smile to yourself, reading the text your boyfriend sent you a billion times, before thinking of something to reply with.

babe we hung out just a couple of hours ago

or did u already forget about our 5yearaversary exclusive movie marathon

you sit up on your bed, phone clutched tightly in your hand, waiting for his answer.

gonna ignore the fact that u just said “5yearaversary”

and i know i know

but the members r all out

so it’s just me... and u 😉

you roll your eyes.

hmm......

i think i’ll pass ❤️

you giggle when he replies almost immediately, his frustration and annoyance miraculously but perfectly being conveyed through his texts.

Y/NNNNNNNNNNN

pretty please ☹️

alright, fine! i’ll be there in 10 minutes, you type and hit send, quickly getting ready before grabbing your bag and heading out the door.

/

“hi,” donghyuck greets you at his dorm’s front door with a big, dazzling smile and a wink.

you scoff at his flirtatious greeting, and step into the familiar living room, then turning around to face your boyfriend. “how is it possible that nobody’s home? not even doyoung?”

donghyuck shakes his head, “i told them to give us a few hours. they’re all out doing their own thing–but i think doyoung hyung went to hang out with renjun at the dreamies’ dorm. they’re practically best friends now.”

you laugh at his comment, walking over to the kitchen and leaning against their dining table. donghyuck follows you, gently holding you in his arms. you’re now pressed against him, chest to chest, breathing him in, savouring this intimate moment.

“why did you tell them to leave?” you ask.

donghyuck pulls away a little to look at you. “our anniversary isn’t over yet, baby,” he raises an eyebrow.

“it’s so weird. we’ve been together five whole years now, but the boys still tease us–doesn’t matter if we’re holding hands, looking at each other or making out, ” you say.

donghyuck laughs, “i know, right? but anyway, we have almost the entire evening to ourselves. what do you wanna do?”

you think for a moment before answering, “why don’t we just spend the rest of the day cuddling in bed? i barely see you these days,” you pause and tip-toe, giving his cute nose a small kiss, “and i miss you.”

donghyuck sighs sadly, “baby, i miss you too, more than you’ll ever know.” he suddenly pulls away completely, bending down slightly to lift you, an arm holding you firm just under your shoulder and the other hooked under your knees. you yelp as your feet get lifted off the ground without warning, so you cling onto his neck for dear life.

“donghyuck, what the fuck!” you exclaim as he leads you into his room, carefully placing you on his bed. he laughs as you huff out a breath, “give me a heads up next time.” donghyuck laughs again and climbs on top of the bed, hovering over you.

for a moment, it’s silent. you’re staring deep into donghyuck’s chocolate eyes and he’s staring into yours. he places his left hand on your waist while the other caresses your cheek, thumb softly tracing your skin. “i love you so much.”

you almost melt right then and there, but looking at your lover’s deep brown eyes keeps you grounded. “i love you so much...too.” you say with sparkly eyes and a dazzling smile. it’s his turn to try and not melt now.

donghyuck lets out a beautiful, melodious laugh and plops down right beside you, pulling you close and completely engulfing you in his embrace. “i’ve always wanted to spend the day with you, cuddling in bed while the members are out,” he says into your neck.

“oh, really? and why’s that?”

“because...the members never, ever, stop teasing me about you.”

you chuckle, turning your body and propping yourself up by your elbow. “i’m kinda hungry. do you have any food?”

donghyuck sits up on the bed, pulling you up as well. “we might have some chips? i’m not sure. wait here, i’ll be right back!” he kisses the top of your head and scurries off to get snacks.

/

he’s back minutes later, hands holding various food items. “alright, we’ve got chips–sour cream and onion, two soda cans and lollipops.” he proudly presents his findings to you and you chuckle fondly.

“better than nothing, right?” you tell him, gesturing at him to sit next to you.

“wait!”

“what’s wrong?”

donghyuck tosses the snacks and goodies on the bed, before rushing to his desk and bringing out a...camera? he walks back over to you and presents it to you. “i wanna record all of tonight–you know, for memories? i can make a copy and give it to you, so when i’m away you can watch it and so can i. so we’ll be together no matter what,” he laughs at the cheesiness of his words. “we’ll be taken back to today, right here, right now, whenever we want.”

you feel your heart swell at his beautiful words, and tears glisten at the corner of your eyes. you inhale, exhale, and stand up to walk over to him. you don’t say anything, just increase the proximity between the two of you by connecting your lips in a soft, slow kiss. donghyuck places the camera on his bed and pulls you closer by the waist. his hands travel up and down your back, causing the material of your shirt to ride up a little, sending a shiver down your spine. his hands feel warm, his lips are plump and sweet, his warmth is comforting and swallows you a whole.

you pull away, “i love you. i don’t deserve you.”

donghyuck looks at you with nothing but love in his eyes, his fingers brushing through your hair now, “why is it that you always say the words i’m thinking of? i love you so, so much. it’s me who doesn’t deserve you, y/n.”

your tears dare to spill any moment now, “god, i promised myself i wouldn’t cry on our anniversary. fuck you, donghyuck,” you say with a small laugh, but you intertwine your fingers and mirror his look of pure love and adoration. 

“i though you wanted to cuddle?” donghyuck gives you a quizzical look.

it takes you a second to realise what he meant. “shut up!” you say, punching his chest lightly. 

/

“smile for the camera, y/n,” donghyuck sing-songs, filming you.

you stick your tongue out playfully before eating a handful of chips. you lick your lips, “sing for me and then we’ll see.”

donghyuck bites the inside of his cheek, “what do you want me to sing?”

“hm...something cheesy.”

donghyuck thinks for a moment and hands you the camera. you’re filming him now, eagerly waiting to see what song he picked. he takes your free hand in his, brings it to his heart and gives it a light squeeze. the gesture makes your heart hammer against your chest rapidly.

five years and he still has the same effect on you as he did on your first ever date.

he takes a sip of water, clears his throat, and begins singing.

can you imagine?

what would happen?

if we could have any dream

i’d wish this moment

was ours to own it

and that it would never leave

then i would thank that star

that made our wish come true

‘cause he knows that

came true, oh yeah

where you are

is where i should be too

he sings from within, with his all; his eyes are closed, his hand is on his heart. there’s no music, it’s just his voice, him, you, and the camera. donghyuck’s voice is so beautiful, so mesmerising, it takes you someplace far, far away. it makes you feel like you’re casually drifting between fluffy clouds in the sky. it’s a blessing, a godsend. donghyuck’s voice is magical, capable of such brilliant things–things you’re still unaware of, even after five years of being with him. 

right here, right now

i’m looking at you

and my heart loves the view

‘cause you mean everything

right here, i’ll promise you somehow

that tomorrow can wait

for some other day to be, to be

but right now there’s you and me

he sings his heart out, sings like his life depends on it. donghyuck’s voice touches your heart, holds it close, tucks it into safety and comfort. it’s a warm blanket on a stormy night. it’s smooth like honey and soft like a feather. but it’s also powerful, confident.

donghyuck never sings off-key, never, ever gets off-pitch or sings off-tune. he’s a professional. right now, in front of you, when he’s singing to you and you only, he sings like there’s no tomorrow. the words seem to come straight from his heart. the camera isn’t designed to capture all of his emotions–sure, it records his voice and all of his facial expressions, but it’s not accustomed to film what he feels inside. that’s something only you–the witness–can do.

you don’t know what’s so intimate, so emotional and raw about him singing to you, but it strikes you. you wipe your eyes with your free hand, causing the camera to shake a little, just as he finishes singing.

donghyuck opens his eyes finally to look at you–not the camera lens. “baby, why are you crying?”

you let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and meet his gaze. “i don’t know...there’s something about your voice, i guess.”

“you guess?”

you really laugh this time, which makes butterflies fly around in donghyuck’s stomach. “there it is,” he says with a smirk.

a bashful smile forms on your lips, and he takes the camera from you, pointing it at you again. “so, y/n, will you smile for the camera now?”

you push your hair back and playfully think for a moment. “why should i?”

“aw, c’mon! i sang for you like you wanted me to!” donghyuck protests.

you let out a chuckle and give the camera a toothy grin, even holding up a peace sign to satisfy donghyuck. his lips curl up in content and a hand reaches your face to stroke your cheek gingerly. you lean into his touch, feeling the same kind of warmth from before.

“happy anniversary, y/n.” donghyuck tucks a piece of hair behind your ear.

you smile again, but this time your grin is directed at the cameraman. “happy anniversary, donghyuck.”

( “what do you wanna do for our next anniversary?”

you ponder a little before replying, “we could go to the arcade?”

“this is why you’re the love of my life.” )

#haechan fluff #haechan imagines #haechan drabbles #haechan x reader #donghyuck fluff #donghyuck imagines #donghyuck drabbles #donghyuck x reader #lee haechan #lee donghyuck #nct haechan #nct donghyuck #mine #req

[astro-pioneer]

hey I love ur work also Idk if ur taking request at this time but I was wondering if u had time that if u could maybe make a second part to the red string fic about childe cause wow 😩angst is so good

In Another, Maybe 『Childe』

➽ Part two of Broken String | Taking care of Teucer wasn't something (Y/N) had on their schedule for the day, but with the begging golden eyes of the traveller and hopeful blue eyes of the child, who were they to refuse? If only they were informed on who Teucer was related to before making a promise. | Small spoilers for Childe's story quest | The beginning sounds like a platonic Teucer story but we need development so sorry </3

Hi hi anon! I almost cried when I saw your request oml. I'm so glad you like what I write and thank you for the support!! My requests are indeed open (I call them new expeditions in my bio) but I'm glad you asked about it :D I hope this is what you expected but if not send me a message and I can possibly do a third part with an alternate ending.

The child looked familiar, that much (Y/N) knew, but couldn't pinpoint where from. What they didn't know was how the traveller knew where they lived. "Uh, hello?" Right away they knew trouble was in their future. Aether's nervous smile said it all. Teucer knew them just like he knew who the traveller was, especially when his big sister Tonia fawned after reading that part of the letter.

"Hi (Y/N)! We're sorry to bother you, but Zhongli told us you weren't busy and that you could help us!" Ah, so that's how the trio found them. They loved Zhongli dearly, don't get them wrong, but sometimes he shares a little too much information to the ones he trusts. "He told us you're really good with kids, and we usually see you playing pirates with a group on some days."

(Y/N) sighed, seeing that there was no way out of this situation, and almost stepped back in to grab some Mora before the child (who still has yet to be introduced) stopped them. "Oh, it's okay! My big brother already gave us money to spend. Now, come on!" The tiny hands latched onto a bigger right one, the pulling of the limb making the tied string sway lightly.

The nod was small but seen nonetheless, making Paimon sigh in relief. Teucer dragged (Y/N) away before they could close their front door, making the travelling duo do it. Aether cringed at the quick glance inside. It was so cold and depressingly empty. "Maybe it's because they're usually out?" Not even Paimon herself sounded sure about her reasoning.

"Anyway, my name's Teucer! I came from Sneznhaya! What about you?"

The older person blinked, not expecting the kid to not even know their name (even after Paimon said it). "Oh, I'm (Y/N), and I moved to Liyue from Inazuma." He awed; it was very easy to amaze the child, they mused. A small gasp came from Teucer before they were dragged away, the traveller struggling to keep up with the excited kid.

"Oooh, c'mon (Y/N)! Let's go to the wharf! I was never able to see it when I got here! You too, Mr. Nice Guy!" Their right hand was finally released and the string touched the ground once more. The kid ran off but was always in the watchful sight of the trio as they caught up to him.

"Teucer, please try not to run off anymore."

He didn't respond, too amazed with the view and size of the wharf to care. "Woah! Look at the waves! Do they ever freeze?" Aether and Paimon stood back from (Y/N) and Teucer, talking amongt themselves.

"Is it just Paimon, or does it feel like we're just awkward third wheels?" Seeing the nod from her companion, Paimon nodded with crossed arms in satisfaction before floating over after seeing the kid go to the anchor. "This is an anchor. Ships use it to stop the wind from blowing them away."

Teucer pondered for a bit before nodding, 'An anchor...got it. I might get it confused with Commodore Hook though..." The three echoed the name in confusion, prompting him to explain. "My brother always sends me a big present for my birthday. Commodore Hook, Blacksteel Jack, Iron Tony, they all stay in our backyard!"

(Y/N) kept their shock hidden well. "That's very kind of your brother. Are they as big as the anchor?" He nodded as an answer before seeing the stall selling fish, running off yet again. An acquaintance from their work waved in greeting, (Y/N) reciprocating the action with their right hand. The string no longer brushed the ground.

They came back to the group, hearing Uncle Gao, the owner of the fish stall, get mad at Teucer for innocently comparing the fish in Liyue to what he's used to back in his homeland. "That's no way to talk to a child now, is it, sir? There's no reason to get worked up over regional differences." Their face was passive but anyone with a keen enough eye could see the threat behind their façade. Paimon herself even got angry at the stall owner.

"There's legends about these big fish back at home! I told my brother about it and a few days later, he came back with a big fish slung over his shoulder!" He exaggerated 'big' to get his point across, which was cute. "Mr. Nice Guy, (Y/N), let's go see the boats." He grabbed both of their hands this time.

The quick walk ended when they reached a small but intricately designed boat. Teucer signed dejectedly. "I miss my brother..." His palms pressed to his eyes. Paimon was shocked, pointing out the fact that they (minus (Y/N)) just saw him. "That doesn't count! It was for such a short time! Take me to see my brother, I don't want to play anymore!"

The trip to Qingxu Pool's nearby river was a long distance away, especially in Teucer's eyes. Not even halfway through did he ask (Y/N) to give him a piggyback ride, who just sighed and accepted the request. The incline as well as Aether and Paimon blocked their view of Teucer's brother, but they paused at Paimon's declaration. "Found him! There's Childe! Wait..." Teucer didn't notice the faltered step.

Shimmying off their back, Teucer ran toward the taller ginger. Oh, dear. If (Y/N) knew who Teucer's brother was, they would've stayed home and completed upcoming paperwork. Their eyes quickly looked to his left hand, the matching, dull string also tied to his pinkie. At the mention of selling toys, (Y/N) looked at their soulmate suspiciously. "Fatui scum don't sell toys though..." They kept their mouth shut at the pleading eyes of the travelling duo.

The trio stood back, watching the scene unfold in front of them concerning Childe's "toy selling business", as Teucer called it. Another Fatui member, a subordinate, appeared right after, informing the ginger about new recruits. The blond then turned to (Y/N). "Also, Mr. Zhongli asked me to inform you about an urgent matter that he didn't go into details about. However, he requests that you make haste to meet him." They clicked their tongue, still hating how the Fatui are still associates of the funeral parlour.

"Aw, really? Both of you are leaving? Do you have to?" The small smile make Childe's heart squeeze.

"Apologies Teucer, but I know I speak for both your brother and I when I say that it's important for us to keep working. You're always welcome to find me when you want to though, alright?" A nod was shared between the two broken soulmates before (Y/N) turned, heading back to the harbour.

Aether didn't miss the longing stare Childe had before he snapped out of it, answering Teucer's question his own way, laced with lies that'll only harm himself in the end. Paimon didn't miss it either, but she was more vocal until he covered her mouth.

The next time (Y/N) saw Teucer and Co. was when they came barging into their office. "We're going to the Institute of Toy Research! Come.on, I want you to come with us!" They had no choice but to go. Watching the lengths Childe would go just to make his brother happy struck something inside of them. Not deep enough to make them love him but to see him in a new light.

(Y/N) got to the worn down harbinger before anyone else, squatting down in front of him. "I wish we met under different circumstances, Mr. Soulmate." He cracked a grin.

"I'd ask if there would be any chance where we could change the outcome, but-" he raised his left hand, where the string was nothing but the knot, "-seems as though it's a little too late, huh?"

They shared sad smiles to each other, (Y/N) giving the traveller a signal to get Teucer's attention for a while. "Possibly... In another life, maybe we could've been together. In this run, however, it was sadly not meant to be." They linked their tied hands together, both witnessing the last piece of their connection as soulmates diminish away before their eyes. "I'm glad to have been able to witness that you're more than just a mindless pawn to the Tsaritsa... Hearing what you do for your siblings and even now proved that."

Aether and Paimon came over after (Y/N) stood up, going back to Teucer as they talked. "Did you find your brother yet?" They played along with the "game" of hide and seek. But yet, their thoughts were far away, thinking of an alternative time where the two of them met under different circumstances. What would've happened to the soulmates if they never met in Liyue and witnessed what happened with their beloved? No one knows, not even the gods themselves...

#✎ expedition #✩ neptune #childe x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #tartagalia x reader

[isthatovid]

tag meme: list 3-5 pieces of literature/media that live in your head rent-free to the point where you have them memorized; write them down from memory, no cheating allowed! tagged by @olreid, this is your fault, you made this happen 😈

i have so much of angels in america committed to memory just because i’ve seen it so many times and pretty much constantly re-visit it. but the first lou & prior scene always sticks in my head. PRIOR: poor louis, i’m sorry that your grandma is dead. LOU: tiny coffin, huh?... i’m sorry that i didn’t introduce you to everyone. i just get so— closet-y at these family things— PRIOR: butch. you get butch. “cousin doris! you don’t remember me, i’m lou, rachel’s boy, lou”. not louis, cause if you say louis, they’ll hear the sibilant s. LOU: i don’t have— PRIOR: i don’t blame you. it continues but i don’t remember the rest of this bit until LOU: you’re in a pissy mood, the cat still missing? PRIOR: not a furball in sight. and it’s your fault. call an animal little sheba and you can’t expect it to stick around. besides, it’s a dog’s name. LOU: well i wanted a dog in the first place. (he continues on) also of course but still. still. bless me anyway. i want more life. i cant help myself. i do. and HARPER: when you pray, what do you pray for? JOE: i pray for god to crush me, break me up into little pieces and start all over again. and on a good day i can recite the tell me some more about justice scene but not today <3 

an embarrassing amount of bits from glee including no! i don’t want it to get better. i want it to be better, like, right now from the michael jackson episode (audience sighs) and also BLAINE: god, roxy music makes me want to build a time machine just so i can go back to the 70s and give brian ferry a high-five. KURT: do you think i’m boring? BLAINE: are you crazy? you’re the single most interesting kid in all of ohio. (please keep in mind that blaine is dancing to roxy music during this entire conversation) KURT: i mean like... sexually. we are playing it very safe by not granting our hands visas to travel south of the equator. BLAINE: (he’s still dancing) i thought that’s what we wanted? KURT: it is. i’m just wondering, have you ever had the urge just to rip off each others’ clothes and get dirty? BLAINE: uh yeah. but that’s why they invented masturbation (here he does jazz hands) KURT: it’s so hot in this room, can we open up a window? this is what’s going on in my head at any given time. one half of me is having a crisis in a leopard print sweater and the other half is just dancing to fucking roxy music

anything that feeds into an inside joke i have with @itsmydime: in your orange shirt you look like a better, happier saint sebastian (having a coke with you by frank o’hara) take heed, dear friends to the promptings of love and truth in your heart (advices and queries 1 from quaker faith and practice) INTERVIEWER: does elmo have ears? ELMO: say whaaa? INTERVIEWER: does elmo have ears? ELMO: no. INTERVIEWER: does elmo have a last name? ELMO: elmo monster! naturally! (from the sesame street wired autocomplete interview) 

BOY: hey, justin! wanna suck me off? BRIAN: no! but i’ll kick your tight little virgin ass so hard you wont sit down for a week! from the first episode of queer as folk US. iconic! 

also anything i have memorised for class including the entire first section of msteif’s the raven king chapter 59 for a speech & drama exam about 3 years ago which i will not write out, a million bible quotations (deuteronomy 6.4-9, proverbs 3.3 and matthew 21.12 are my favourites) and a lot of random shakespeare bits... the very mercy of the law cries out / most audible, even from his proper tongue, / ‘an angelo for claudio, death for death!’ / haste still pays haste, and leisure answers leisure, / like doth quit like and measure still for measure (measure for measure) for saints have hands that pilgrims hands do touch / and palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss (romeo & juliet) 

my brain is truly full of mush! @itsmydime @rainist @queerbucky @minecraftparrish @saoirseronanlynch @wooners @warcotuj & anyone else do this if u want to but u don’t have to tehehehe 

#there is so much i could have written out... all of the movie wild child and about 4 poems as well as every critical analysis quotation i #memorised for english class #but emma you had to know i would mention <3 joe pitt <3 #tag games #issy.txt

[sovonight]

also for the dating sim, i originally wrote a final final date for ford back in september 2017, when i still had the energy to entertain a longer farewell.

this got cut, of course, and honestly it’s more suited for the last day of an entire summer with ford instead of the last day of 2-3 weeks, but it happened in my heart:

The week is coming to its end, and with it, your time in Gravity Falls. You can't help but feel uncertain about the end; will it come with a sense of promise, or finality?

<<<<<<<<<

This really began w the abducted by aliens bad ending idea but. the extended train of thought im goin for is:

ford takes u to see the ufo as a dual "sending u off w a grand sight" & "trying to convince you that gravity falls is worth coming back to-- and he is worth coming back to, too"

ford seems to show the place off to ppl particularly close to him so. rite of passage lol

TBH i dont know what ford would possibly have to show you that’s just This but it’s like one of the more mindblowing gf things and the most visually impressive location even if it is just a husk of its former self

if u did badly & continue to do badly then you call this alien stuff stupid and underwhelming and press a dead button or two to demonstrate and summon an alien prison bot thing. ford tries to keep u calm but too late, ur gone, whoops. BAD END: you rot in ancient unused alien prison

THAT SAID i'm probably gonna keep tossing ideas out and seeing where things can fit, not totally sold on this one

<<<<<<<<<

Last evening, you had lingered with Ford after dinner, having found another rare moment in which to enjoy his company. He'd asked to show you something, if you woke before dawn to accompany him there.

(PERFECT) (look up sunrise times) You wake before dawn, of course, the sky outside still dark. It is another few moments while you get dressed, and just as you finish putting on your shoes you hear the familiar weight of Ford's footsteps.

You open the door just as Ford's hand is poised to knock, and surprise crosses his face before it is replaced by a steady smile.

ford "I see you're eager. All set to go?"

(OKAY) KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

You wake groggily to a couple hard knocks at the door, and sit up on the mattress in vague confusion for a few moments. You hear a door-muffled voice that you recognize, at length, as Ford's.

ford "[playername]? Are you ready?"

Oh. Oh, right! You were supposed to be going with Ford on some morning walk or other. You look down at your rumpled blankets and sleeping attire, and realize you have about five minutes to pull this off. You call out towards the door.

player "Almost! Just give me five minutes!"

You get dressed in record time, all as you imagine Ford impatiently checking his watch outside. You'd planned to wake up earlier, you really had, but things just didn't work out that way.

You open the door to a Ford who looks patient but perhaps a little exasperated. Oh, no-- that was way more than five minutes, then, wasn't it? Ford folds his hands behind his back, but you see his watch peeking out over the cuff of his sweater sleeve.

ford "All set to go?"

(BAD) You wake up at your usual mid-morning time to a sense of having forgotten something. You can't imagine what it could've been, but as you walk out to get breakfast, something slowly comes back to you.

Oh. Oh, no.... You were supposed to wake up early to join Ford for a walk. It can't be too late, can it? You don't see Ford anywhere, though, and as you look you run into Stan, who looks..a little disapproving.

stan "Lookin' for Ford? He left for one of his loner thinking spots in the forest."

stan "I don't know where it is, so don't bother asking."

The day is open to you now, but you're not sure how you feel about having stood Ford up.

<gen end>

player "Well, I'm dressed, but I wasn't sure what to bring."

ford "Just bring yourself. I've made preparations for the both of us, don't worry."

He offers his hand to you, and you take it.

Ford leads you out of the shack, and though the steps are as familiar as that first day you accompanied him on his search for Mothman, the warmth of his hand in yours brings an elation to your heart that you can't explain. You only realize you're smiling when Ford comes to a stop and looks back to you with a chuckle.

ford "I don't think I've ever seen someone so happy to be up so early."

ford "Here-- where we're going is usually a two day scenic hike, but I found a shortcut last summer that brings the journey down to a matter of hours."

player "How is that possible?"

ford "I don't know! Not yet, anyway. I have a hypothesis on how it works, but haven't had the time to devise an appropriate experiment. You see..."

"Ford continues talking as he leads you deeper into the forest, the faint path underfoot fading into the underbrush the further you walk. He holds onto your hand the entire way, a touching gesture that seems to become a necessity as the alternating sunlight and shadow crowd into your vision."

"There is a weight, and an emptiness, and a confusion, in the depths of the blur of the foliage you pass through. You think that if Ford hadn't been holding on to you, you would've lost him."

ford "Still with me?"

"You find that Ford has led you to a sunny, open space upon a cliff, with a view of the entire town."

player "..Yes. Yes, I think so."

ford "Good! Any thoughts on my hypothesis now that you've experienced the phenomenon yourself?"

"What? Oh no-- you'd been too preoccupied with the sensation of passing incorrectly through time and space to remember what he'd said! Time for a change of subject."

player "This view of the town is amazing! Were we going to watch the sunrise from here?"

ford "What? Oh-- Ah, the /sunrise/. Because it's before dawn. No, I just consider this the best time to travel."

ford "Though if you'd like to, nothing else I have planned is time-sensitive."

menu:

"Watch the sunrise together":

watch sunrise

"Let Ford lead on":

lead on

watch sunrise

"You move to sit on a conspicuous rock just a short distance away, and Ford joins you, a small smile playing on his face."

<he's amused 'cause now his ufo introduction can be even better>

"A comfortable quiet settles in, and though it might just be the early morning chill, all you can focus on is Ford's constant warmth by your side. Your gaze lingers, for a moment, watching him watch the sky, until you find his eyes meeting yours."

"You turn your gaze quickly back towards a view of the sky, where it belongs. At your left, Ford chuckles."

ford "You can look, you know."

"You know you should feel a little more shame at being caught, but what grows in your heart is a bright, tentative excitement."

player "And miss the sunrise?"

ford "[playername], there are plenty of sunrises left for you and I. But moments like these? They only come once in a while."

ford "It doesn't hurt to cherish them, while they last."

menu:

""You and I"?":

"Ford seems to catch himself, cheeks reddening in the brightening light of the early sunrise."

ford "I mean to say, we'll both see many more sunrises in our lives. Separately..or not."

"There's a lot of potential in that "or not"."

"(Kiss him)":

<you kiss him and it's great i guess? not really the best choice>

"I wish this moment could last forever."

ford "The earth would have to stop spinning, my dear, and then we'd be flung across the earth at the speed of its rotation."

"...The moment just ended."

"The sun comes up over the horizon, <something beautiful about its pink orange hues>"

ford "Now. Ready to see what I wanted to show you?"

"You nod, and accept the hand he offers to pull you up."

player "Is it further ahead?"

ford "Try below your feet. Stand aside, now--"

"He pushes the rock aside with ease, and you can't help but marvel at the strength he holds. He must be dedicated to his exercise regimen, whatever it might be."

<ufo section happens, ford pulls out the magnet gun the one invention that brought the two of you together in the first place, proceed on cool abandoned tech tour, he stops in one particular room for its echo sound properties, he’s like i actually scavenged-- i mean re-purposed-- parts from here>

ford "Together, we've tracked down a cryptid, battled through fictional dungeons, and faced Mabel's matchmaking. I thought having one more adventure together would be a good way to send you off."

ford "And..."

ford "I was hoping this would show you there's still more to discover about Gravity Falls than you might think. That perhaps you'd find that this place is worth coming back to, someday...even with all its faults, and weirdness."

menu:

"So you brought me to this husk of a place? It's a dump!":

""

"Oh, Ford...":

"Ford gives you that familiar warm smile, though the look in his eyes remains tentative."

""

"Consider me convinced!":

"Before you realize it Ford's swept you up into an embrace, lifting you off the ground for a joyous spin before returning you to it. He holds you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, grinning."

ford "--But wait, you understood the metaphor, right? The town as a metaphor for--"

player "Yes, Ford, I'd want to come back to see you."

"Ford laughs in relief."

ford "Did you know that the concept of a metaphor doesn't exist in some dimensions? It's ridiculous! Nonsensical! Who came up with those things?"

"His joy is infectious, you can’t stop smiling yourself."

player "Those dimensions, you mean?"

ford "Yes! I have some choice words for whatever cosmic events laid out {i}those{/i} plans."

#i just constantly operate on the assumption of a solid established relationship and that was my main weakness here really #sovo writes

[goldenscript]

neighbor!jennie

author’s note: this is in the same universe as neighbor!monsta x <3

the friend crush (turned actual crush) candidate neighbor

in other words, she’s that girl you’re dying to befriend and to get to know and all that wonder stuff

she’s pretty, sweet from what you can see in your comfortable nook beside her home, and she definitely sounds like a blast to be around

minus the times where you can practically hear her and her screeching at each other for only god knows what

last you remembered it was over the last eggo waffle but you’re not gonna judge bc waffles are pretty damn good

you know she’s also a very attentive roommate to her roomie considering she’s always buying groceries and staying up to wait for her roomie too

which also brings up the mention that the walls between the apartment spaces are so damn thin, you can literally hear everything so it’s no brainer than you’ve learned all these things abt jennie by observation than actual talking

ofc you’d love to talk to her!!! you’ve been dying to for so damn long that it actually feels painful whenever you see chances to bc you don’t take them

like

at

all

your friend taehyung’s been nagging you to do it and even your roommate jiwoo who’s been nothing but an observer of you observing jennie and to say the least the two of them just want you to come out of your shell just to say hey bc that doesn’t hurt

right?

well it doesn’t but it does hurt ur pride when jiwoo purposefully locks you out of the apartment for reasons unbeknownst to you (lmao lbr u kno why but ur in denial bC YOUR ROOMIE WOULDN’T DO THT TO U RIGHT?????,,,,,,,,,,,,,)

absolutely, postively incorrect

bc she does and ur stuck in the hallway wondering if she’s actually asleep or if she’s punking you bc you forgot milk tht one time sophomore year (mind you, y’all are third years rn n you rlly wouldn’t b surprised if jiwoo did that ‘cuz of milk tbh she’s that typa person)

and you’re abt to call taehyung and ask if you can stay at his place when you hear a voice that isn’t warbled from a thin wall and is actually directed at u

“ummmm,,, are u ok?”

you actually fumble with ur phone and that causes her to giggle and wow it just sounds so freakin’ nice but holy shit is she really talking to you rn??? is that really happening???????

you’re absolutely baffled but u manage to nod and tell her that your roommate locked u out and she actually pouts on ur behalf and ur actually starstruck a lil’

it’s one thing to hear and observe these actions from jennie but it’s a complete game changer when she’s performing such actions,,,in front,,, of you,,,, and ,,,, for,,, u,,,,,,,,,,,,, FOR YOU

all u can focus on is ur heart pounding incessantly and u swear it’s ur nerves bc hey friend crushes can still make u nervous y’know n ur so engrossed in this tht u don’t even notice that jennie’s grabbed a hold of ur hand and is leading u back to her place

aND UR BRAIIN IS SUDDENLY LIKE !!! bc holy fuck is that really happening???

you squeak out a ,,, “what”

and she just giggles at you n says “it’s no biggie, my roomie’s out with her bf n i can’t just leave a pretty face like yours out! someone might snatch u y’know??”

“t-thank u,,,,”

“jennie” she smiles tho u kno her name n u kno it well tht it actually makes u super happy that she even knows urs bc after u say it she just grins at u and says “i know”

and basically at her apartment, u see how neat and nice it is with all the black and pink decor on her end w/ roses n these really gnarly looking motorcycles tht she winks at u abt bc her baby’s still in the shop rn and she even offers to take u on a joyride somewhere bc you’ve never once been on a motorcycle but u wouldn’t mind going on one

it’s a first for her but it actually makes her light up to see someone showing interest in something that she adores!!!

u eventually find out tht next to motorcycles she actually rlly loves event planning n that’s why she’s doing communications as a major bc one day she’d like to be in her own pr firm n showcase new and vibrant things that’ll benefit others bc next tht she loves helping others so if what she does can helps others then she’ll feel fulfilled in life

it explains a lot considering she’s always helping people,,, like always

from making sure her roomie’s fed to volunteering at homeless shelters to even tutoring young children, she’s even trying to get into a peer mentor program at the local middle school (a lot of it happens at different times in the year but she has no issues with any of it bc it makes her happy)

srsly she works to the point of overwork and even her roomie has to drag her out by the ear just to get the girl to relax

and evidently this is one of those days where she is relaxing (by helping u lolol) but also she rlly appreciates the attention and attentiveness you’re showing her bc you love listening to her talk and explain what certain things are and it makes her so so so so happy ok

at first it’s miniscule things that make her happy from those little hang outs you two will do now that the ice has been broken to even the times you’ll actually accompany her to a few of her volunteering tasks and she’s so certain she’s found a great new friend, a wonderful friend even tho u can honestly say that the friend crush has become more bc holy shit ??? jennie’s amazing how could u not see her as something more y’know?

and even tho ur certain she doesn’t feel the same and jiwoo calls bullshit like every chance she gets with u, the ultimate game changer happens,,, The Sludge

so two doors down are Changkyun and Jooheon, the resident rappers who have had the notoriety of suffering from the horrific gross substance tht no one can rlly label to a T but to say the least it’s Terrible and Nasty and just N O

so even tho those two were struck with it bc of their lack of pay in the water bills, that gross stuff is just traveling all around the floor - even kihyun and hyunwoo and other residents have suffered thru it so on a very unfortunate day it struck jennie and her roomie’s

fortunately her roomie got a place with changkyun meanwhile jennie was kinda left without,,,, n on tht day u actually see her outside of ur apartment door looking v torn n ur like “jennie???”

her eyes go wide and she manages a wave n u ask what happened n she just deadpans n says “The Sludge” so you understand

and instead of waiting for her to ask bc you kno a part of her wants to but the other part that hates being a burden is lingering so you just invite her to stay n u give jiwoo a heads up and tht blonde roomie of urs is like “w/e she’s staying in ur room”

which she does cuz u force her to bc it won’t hurt u to stay on the couch esp when there’s a guest

she’s pretty begrudging abt it but she manages to deal n she actually enjoys the way you’ve decorated everything and notes just how nice it all is and ngl but she doesn’t miss the photo of u n her on ur bulletin board of ppl you care abt n it makes her feels so warm and touched,,,, it’s like the first instance of her becoming certain of her feelings for u

it’s all small ofc but the more she stays with u, the more ur on her mind n the more she enjoys her times at ur place (which ur loving btw bc she’s a wonderful roommate who will help cook n does grocery shopping bc the damn Sludge is still infesting their apartment)

she does what she can to help and jiwoo loves it and you love having her around so much

in this close proximity you’re able to really see those little things abt jennie like how she loves milk ice cream, how she’s very meticulous in the way things are placed, and how she copes with her stress by organizing even if it can be a bit of an issue

like lisa and jisoo have had their entire desktops cleaned n organized to an utter t after jennie’s done with it (jisoo: “there’s srsly never a simple sleepover with her man”)

but for some reason, she won’t do that to your stuff? like ok she doesn’t organize stuff just cuz she wants t disrespect the owner; most of the time it’s ‘cuz they gave her permission but with you??? she’s not sure and she hasn’t asked

it’s different cuz with her friends they let anyone touch their stuff

but you?? she doesn’t wanna just be anyone to you anymore

she wants to go on motorcycles rides with you and take you to her favorite beach when everything’s too much

she wants to take care of you and show you how much she cares and how much she loves those little things abt u even if u hate those beauty marks and “blemishes” and all that other stuff

she wants to hear you talk about ur favorite book and why then watch the movies to talk abt how lame they were or how you loved a movie and why

she just wants to do anything and everything with you and it’s really just eating at her bc this isn’t another event to plan or really something she can just organize away

hell she can’t even ride her motorcycle away bc all she can think abt is the way you practically lit up when she offered to give u a ride n she decides to just take a risk and stop you after one of your classes

you’re a little confused but you go with it bc she seems pretty distracted by something n u need a break from stats anyway so when she hands u her helmet u take it and watch her put on her space

she tells u to hold on and u do for dear life even if ur screaming at ur heart to shut up bc this is the first time you’ve been this close to her and it makes u tighten ur grip bc you dont want her to disappear

funnily enough, she doesn’t want u to either and she just relishes in ur touch

and so you both wind up at that beach and it’s so beautiful n ur in awe bc holy fuck tht ride was amazing and this,,, T H I S is amazing!!!!

she finds you so adorable and she’s just like “yeah,,, yeah this is.....”

n you look at her in confusion, sitting beside her on the shore even if the cool sand clings to ur legs, “what’s wrong? you seem off lately?”

and she shrugs, looking torn once again bc she’s thinking back to how you accepted her in, always offered a hand to her whenever she needed it whether it was helping her carry a box of event programs or even tutoring her in a class, like,,,, she never realized how much she enjoyed you taking care of her bc she’s constantly taking care of others

so she just blurts out “i like you” she goes for it bc why the hell not??? it’s better to get an answer this way

you’re shocked ofc but eventually you’re like “fuck, me too”

bc having her there? so goddamn close???? those feelings really bloomed and it’s silly and cliche but you can’t help but smile and say “jennie i like you too”

and lemme tell ya rn, she couldn’t be happier,,,,even when you both later find out that the Sludge was fixed nearly two weeks ago bc her roomie promised she’d get her back ,,,,, she just brings u close into her arms and u two watch the waves in ease and in this nice mutual satisfaction and rlly that’s all you both could ever ask for~

#blackpinknet #jennie kim scenarios #jennie scenarios #blackpink scenarios #blackpink fluff #blackpink fanfic #jennie kim x reader #jennie x reader #emswriting #blackpink headcanons #girl group scenarios

[b00bstone]

All the even numbers!

thats a lot. and 72 was repeated twice but i had to renumber them since i copied and pasted adn forgot it was repeated. but anyway. 

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

mostly shy i think but i can be outgoing if im comfortable. 

4 Are you easy to get along with?

not really. i can be quite moody. and i unfortunately have a short temper (which im trying to work on) and im depressed adn suicidal so i think the answer is no. 

6 What kind of people are you attracted to?

smart funny ones. 

8Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my friend the nerd because i was talking to them and my friend rabbit earlier. 

10Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist since we talked just earlier today.

12What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

1.awkward by hailey knox

2 beautiful girl by sara barielles 

3. plot twist by sigrid

4 waving through a window from dear evan hansen 

and 5. dissapear also from dear evan hansen.

14Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yeah but my luck is shitty and miracles happen to other people. so basically yes but not for me lmao

16Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yeah. if she were down. but like shes really straight. so i doubt she would be.

18Do you still talk to your first crush?

occasionally. hes a dick now tho. fraternity guy. and voted for trump.

20Do you like your neighbors?

well the ones i know are pretty cool. 

22Where would you like to travel?

narnia. one of those planets they discovered that are super far away but similar to earth. but like on this planet? probs travel around europe. 

24Favorite part of your daily routine?

going to bed. 

26What do you do when you wake up?

lie there and try to go back to sleep. 

28Who are you most comfortable around?

probs my friend rabbit.

30Do you ever want to get married?

one day yeah. but only if i find the right person u know. 

32Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

oohhhh ummm hmmm. chris pratt. aubrey plaza and john boyega. i feel like aubrey would bring a sarcastic element which would help with the pressure and nervousness and john and chris. well u can just see in their eyes that theyre really gentle people that will treat u right. 

34do you play sports? What sports?

hahaha no. ive always wanted to dance and/or be on a swimteam. but my lungs hate me

36Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

i think ive only told like 1 or 2 people that ive liked that i liked them. and ive liked a lot of people so yes. i have hidden that i liked someone before. many many times.

38Describe your dream girl/guy?

theyre taller than me. i dunno why but ive always liked wavy/curly hair. not blonde. or brunette. so that leaves unnatural hair color or black or red. good bone structure. theyre really smart. like they know lots of stuff academically but theyre also just generally smart u know. and they know lots of lil random facts about random things. really nice. but not in like a sugar nice way but more like sun beams when it feels like theyre warming u from the inside kinda nice. kind eyes. color doesnt really matter since i keep changing my mind. strong. but not necessarily muscular. i want them to be able to pick me up and twirl me around but not like theyve got a sixpack or anything. sixpacks are kinda weird looking tbh. wed have to have most of the same values. not too talkative but not like ALWAYS quiet. theyd prefer staying in most weekend and watchng shows but dont mind the occassional night out. theyd like the beach. because what kind of crazy person doesnt like the beach (people that dont beach right thats who). theyd also like biking and hiking and swimming. very much an animal person. not lazy. good listener. intuitive. would understand that some days i just cant fucking stand physical touch. and others i crave it in a way ive never craved anything before. and other days its kinda meh whatever. people that take interest in what im interested in because im interested in it. and whose interests are cool. because i love to take interest in things my friends are interested in but sometimes its so boring. nothing particular comes to mind. but im sure its happened. someone who doesnt check up on me when im crying. because tbh i hate it when people do that. unless its through texting or a phone call. but like people in person asking “are u ok?” while im sobbing my eyes out? fuck no go away. someone who understands that im really fucking bad with words. and sometimes me trying to say something will take a while and it may not make sense. theyd be patient. they wouldnt mock me. or be manipulative. and i think this list is long enough.

40What do you want to do after high school?

travel the world and end up famous, but not like papparazzi following me famous. famous like i appear on snl every once in a while and drop bangers or rad filsm or whatever i do and thats all.  what will i probs end up doing? crying a lot and going to community college. and applying to as many colleges as i have the energy to. 

42If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

it might mean im busy. or just listening. or really pissed off. or upset. or just have nothing to say. 

44Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

space. 

46What are you paranoid about?

everything

48Have you ever been drunk?

not yet. but sometimes i want to be

50What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

blue i think?

52 One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

everything. but like one specific thing? id like to get rid of my depression, fears, and this brain fog that haunts me

.54 Favourite store?

trader joes or target

56Favourite color?

yellow

58 Last thing you ate?

well rn im eating plain potato chips and mayo (please dont judge me. i know its disgusting)

60Ever won a competition? For what?

i used to do mma i won like one or two of those. i also run a riding competition once. 

62Been arrested? For what?

not yet. but im sure one day i will be.

64tell us the story of your first kiss?

we were in her parents bathroom and were 7. thats all i remember. havent kissed anyone since. which isnt for lack of wanting to.

68Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i dont really have any tumblr friends that arent my real friends yet? so like i cant answer that.

70 Twitter or Tumblr?

well i spend all my time here and not on twitter so lets go with tumblr. altho i do have a twitter im never on

72Names of your best friends?

adi, heather, rabecca, joaquin, celestine. 

74What colour are your towels?

blue, red and white. and theres some hawaiin print ones and a yellow one. 

76How many pillows do you sleep with?

3... 

78How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like 40? dont judge. i kept asking as a kid and my parents kept giving them to me for christmas and my birthday. they should have stopped. 

80What colour is your underwear?

rn its grey. but its not the only color i have

82Favourite ice cream flavor?

fuck. ummmmm coffee?

84What colour pants?

rn theyre black. but on the front of the thighs they have zebra striping. 

86Favourite movie?

thats not an easy question to answer. im gonna say bringing up baby just because. 

90Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

both? i mean i prefer mean girls a lil more bu 21 jumpstreet isnt bad either

92 Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory. we are both scatterbrained. 

94Last person you talked to today?

adi. but like in person? rabbit and the nerd. 

96Name a person you love?

celestine. (not romantically)

98In a fight with someone?

not as far as i know. but i always kinda feel like im in a fight with monkey. 

100How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 4? i know i know i dont have very many. 

102Favourite actress?

aubrey plaza. 

104Do you tan a lot?

nope. i try at least once every summer. but my skin either stays as pale as snow or i burn really bad then my skin shift to a slightly more offwhite shade of snow. 

106. How are you feeling?

blergh. potato chips and mayo are really gross. and im tired and sick of people telling me shit. 

108Do you regret anything from your past?

i regret everything ive ever done. 

110Do you miss anyone from your past?

well there is this one guy i used to talk to but i miss the attention and not him so that doesnt count. i kinda miss a friend of mine named shannon from elementary school sunday school

112Ever broken someone’s heart?

i dont think so. 

114What should you be doing?

school. but ive given up on that. so. 

.116 Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

oh yeah. ive liked 2 peoplethat much. altho i barely knew the first person and it was more me projecting my ideals of the prefect person onto them. 

118Who was the last person you cried in front of?

probs my therapist. 

120Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah. i was just in virginia last week. i live in california so id say thats definitely out of state. 

122Are you listening to music right now?

nope. 

124Do you like Chinese food?

americanized or traditional? americanized: yessss that shit i shte bomb. traditional? i dont know ive never had it. 

126Are you afraid of the dark?

yes. very. i need a light source or i start to panic. 

.128 Is cheating ever okay?

like on a partner or on a test or something? on a partner? no way. u should never do that. like thatll really fuck them up and make them mistrustful for the rest of their life. on a test? if its necessary sure go for it. i dont care. im not ur teacher. 

130Do you believe in love at first sight?

yeah. but its not something thatll ever happen to me lmao.

132. Are you currently bored?

im always bored. 

134 Would you change your name?

last name? yes 100% absolutely. first name? maybe. 

136Do you like subway?

like the sandwich shop? fuck no! the first time i ate it i threw up. the second time was ok. and thei third time i got serious stomach cramps afterwards. it was these awful sharp shooting pains all through my stomach. 

138Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probs my therapist. 

140Can you count to one million?

theoretically? yes. but will i? no 

142Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed! my closet freaks me out but the office across from my bedroom freaks me out more. and also like i dont want cats walking on my face. or to wake up at 7 am and find that my dog has taken up the very middle of the bed. 

144Curly or Straight hair?

rn? mostly straight. but when it gets longer it kinda curls a  lil. 

146Summer or Winter?

yes. i like both. dont make me choose. 

148 Favourite month?

july. thats when im born so it has to be my fav. 

150Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

152Was today a good day?

no. 

154What’s your favourite quote?

in the beginning the universe was created a lot of people regard t as a bad move. and i messed that quote up. but yeah. 

156Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

the terms braided and woven refer to the structure of the elastic. 

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching The Husbands of River Song for the first time

(When I started writing the post I messed up my typing and the title said “Watchgin the Husnabds of REierv Sogn for the fitrst time”)

-Oh dear, one episode closer to catching up to the show, and one step clser to a yet unknown source of heartbreak.

tf is this flying dish

Wait, they’re celebrating Christmas in 5343?

-Wow Jesus looks like you’ve really outdone yourself

-TARDIS

-TARDEEEEHS

Why is the music all doom-y and scary like this is something bad That is the best note ever

-HEEEEyyyyy it’s the bald guy from the Series 10 trailer!!

-He looks like he’d be a mouse or a hamster if he was an animal

“Is there anything on my head?”

-YES THERE IS

-OH GOSH

IT’S CONTAGIOUS

-I MUST RUN BEFORE RED CHRISTMAS RUDOLPH ANTLERS SPROUT UP ON MY HEAD

-well hello alien santa under the hood

-RIVEEEEEEER

-WTF

-WHAT THE FAAAAAAAAQ

-wait why is she so pissed-- OHHHHHH

-IT’S BEFORE SHE wait hold on a minute

-This is the first time she’s seeing his twelfth incarnation in-show, yes? No?

-*checks Wikipedia* Yes I’m right but...

-I think I’ll have to watch more before jumping to conclusions

-By the way, this.

A time travelling alien as old as time and also a fluffy grinning cat.

-”My husband is dying.”  Doctor: wtf is going on am i about to cross my own timestream or what

-”wtf river”

-Ah yes, flurry snow in the middle of a bajillion cogwheels, brilliant intro.

-Oh shit it’s Moffat

-Poor Twelve must be confused so much.

-River looks like she’s faking though. She’s not the kind of person who coos at people like that.

(unfortunately I could not find a stock photo of a cat looking exactly like this. pity.)

-No, seriously. Look at this cate.

-Anyway who the fuck is that guy in that disproportionately large armor, like, where in the actual sarlacc butthole did he come from

-River Song’s Drama has increased by 100!

-uhhh lemme see I think that’s a mix of Megaman, the old Transformers cartoon and ahh what’s that one videogame I swear there are videogames with people wearing hulky armor like that

-DAMN TWELVE DROPPIN IT

-I don’t even

-I don’t even know what I’m watching

-And yet there’s this lingering fear in the back of my mind that’s still scared of the text “Written by Steven Moffat”

-Wait, if she’s talking to the people in the little screens and they react accordingly to her gestures, then it means they’re watching her too, but where’s the camera?

-Doctor: “the fuck”

-”Do you recognize me?”  “No”  So the Doctor said no because of something unrelated but I swear a part of him just wanted to get back at River

-HE’S WHITE DIAMOND, GEMS HAVE GENDER, WHITE DIAMOND CONFIR-- nevermind wrong show

-”You’re talking about murdering someone!”  “No I’m not, I’m actually murdering someone.”

-”Do you know who you remind me of?”   “Yes, probably of a chap with a big-” (he means big chin, don’t get any ideas)   “My second wife!”

-The dialogue is top notch in this episode

-Oh no, it’s the robot king who doesn’t look like he can eat his enemies very efficiently and his legion of...

...sword-wielding Jawas.

-Heck, they even sound like Jawas.

-what the effing head

-”I wondered why we didn’t share a bathroom”

-Well for me it explains the nonsense body proportions

-”Decision overruled. Recommendation: Chill.”

-I love how the robot suit says “Chill”, it’s just so.. chill. It’s actually chilling out. It’s the chillest robot in robot history.

I have paused at just the right moment

They’re nerding out together

-Aw the Doctor’s laughing

-He’s having so much fun

-”I haven’t laughed in a long, long time.”  There. All the more merrier because of that.

-Oh god

-Okay how many people are River Song gonna hang around with in this episode

-”He only has twelve faces” OHHHHH BECAUSE RIVER DOESN’T KNOW THAT THE TIMELORDS GAVE HIM A NEW REGENERATION CYCLE DOES SHE

‘Little do they know the BBC wanted to continue the show for another fifty years.’

-noooo not the bald guy nuuuuu

-What a cynical robot

-DOCTOR JUST TELL HER THAT IT’S YOUR TARDIS

-Poor Doc

-”Oh yeah I’m SURE I’ll get SOOOO surprised”

-”It’s my girl.”

-The sarcasm is strong with this one.

-”Oh it’s BIGGER on the INSIDE how SURPRISING because I’ve NEVER seen one beFORE”

I’M DYING ASDGSDJSA;;

-”Wait, my Tardis had a fridge?”

-Sooooo when River was with Eleven she was the better driver (in terms of comfort; no offense to Eleven’s Timelording skills in general) but now Twelve is probably the calmest drver so far and River’s, well... not so much.

-”Of course I’m NOT getting frustrated by you doing everything wrong and trying to give you instructions because it’s CLEARLY not my Tardis how can you even SUGGEST such a thing”

-”Yes thank you I am a quick learner and NOTHING else, NOTHING like I’ve flown this Tardis countless times before”

-So if the Tardis can’t take off while someone’s both in and out, then this wouldn’t work, huh.

(From one of the Bunny Suicides books)

-”What sort of medical school did you go to?”

-A king does not unnecessarily endanger the lives of his people... Unless he is cross.

-LOGIC

-OH SHIT THAT GUY’S HEAD GOT CHOPPED OFF TOO

-”Death initiated.”

-The fuck kind of Star Wars cantina did they walk into

-”They’re still digesting their mother.”

-”--I will rip you open and devour you--”    “It’s my stomach.”

-Even the guy whose wife got eaten by his kids is going ‘wtf’

-The fuck kind of CGI was that

-”This is where genocide comes to kick back and relax.”    Oh boy, that’s gonna get on the Doctor’s nerves.

-”Why are you frowning?”   “How’d you know?”   “It’s audible.”

-”The man who gave me this was the sort of man who’d know exaclty how a long a diary you’re going to need.”  “Oh yeah that’s definitely not me”

-I SAW THAT EYEBROW RAISE, RIVER SONG, YOU CHEEKY LITTLE TIME TRAVELLER

-Annnnd River’s supposed to be paid by a Voldemort with a nose.

-WHAT THE FUCK HIS HEAD OPENS UP

-JEEZ!

-YOU HAVE A JAWBREAKER IN YOUR HEAD??!?

-OH MY FUCKING GOD EVERYONE HAS CRACKED UP HEADS

-For some reason, Credits seems to be the common term for whatever currency is used vaguely in scifi universes. They have Credits in Star Wars too!

-Whoever is playing that pale guy is going to have a royally sore throat by the end of the episode.

-”Hail Hydra”

-You should probably just give him the head...

-To be fair you crackhead guys did creep them out

-The thing.

-Did the head just run away or something, why are the Doctor and River so uneasy, do they really just don’t want to witness a brain surgery or am I missing something here

-Dang it Doctor.

-”The skyyyy shall crrrrrack”

-Well the head is there...

-what. the. fuck. is. happening.

-”At last I am whole again”  Well I wouldn’t really call it whole if your body’s a robot but...

-Okay.... that happened.

-*hastily muffled Steven Universy screeching*

-SCREW YOU CATFISH BUG MAN

-Why do his eyebrows make a squeak sound

-”A picnic at Asgard...”  MARVEL/DOCTOR WHO CROSSOVER CONFI-- nevermind

-jesus christ why is that guy so intent on reading River’s diary out loud

-’The Angels Take Manhattan’ was three seasons ago. And yes, that episode was written by Moffat too.

-”An infinite number of faces”   Well, I wouldn’t say it’s infinite per se...

-Besides, if there’s only the head left, wouldn’t that kind of hinder the regeneration, if not stop it altogether?

-Wait, since when was the robot the king and not the head?

-I don’t like the catfish bug guy with the French mustache. In fact, I am liking him less and less by the second.

-WHOA WAIT THAT ROBOT COULD STORE MULTIPLE HEADS IN IT? I THOUGHT IT JUST TOOK ONE OFF AND PUT ON ANOTHER

-Dammit River why would you want to hurt him like that HE IS RIGHT THERE  ;_;

-;_;

-*CRYING EMOJI INTENSIFIES*

-”Two hearts, stupid clothes--”  Well the latter changed a bit.

-MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

-DAMMIT MOFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

-HE IS RIGHT THERE

-DAMMIT MOFFAT

FUCK YOU MOFFAT

-TAKE MY HEART AND RIP IT APART SOME MORE WHY DON’T YOU

-”I’m an archaeologist from the future.  I dug you up.”

-DAMN

-”What do you think of my new body”  “I’ll let you know, I’ve only seen the face”  Okay it’s either me or Moffat that isn’t aware that this is a family show.

-She caught it in her f-cking boobs

-HER BOOBS

-FAMILY SHOW

-”FAMILY SHOW”

-”So, King Hydroflax?”  (idk how tf it’s spelled)  “I married the diamond!”  (”wE ARE THE CRYSTAL--””SHUT UP!!”)  “So you say.”  “Elizabeth the First.”  “Ramone.”  “Marilyn Monroe!”  “Stephen Fry!”  “Cleopatra!”  “Same thing!”

-IF YOU HAVEN’T GUESSED ALREADY, I’M DYING

Glowing cables.

-”Crashing spaceships, that’s my job.”  I feel like I should write a sentence that rhymes with this, but unfortunately I can’t.

-OH THE TOP PART OF HIS SCREWDRIVER ROTATES

-”I’ve been doing it longer!”  “I do it better!”  Like how you drive the Tardis, for example.  (I can also see the above dialogue used in a very, very, wrong, scenario, but I’ll just keep quiet and hope that it wasn’t Moffat’s intention.)

-river u ok?

-k

Looks like one of those audio equipment machines.

-Reminds me of the ‘Profit’ memes.

-1. Crash ship  2. Look outside  3. FIRE  4. Nope the fuck outta there and travel forward in time  5. ??  6. Profit

-1. Visit some yet-to-be tour spot  2. Give money to a random guy and tell him to set up a restaurant  3. Travel forward in time  4. ???  5. Profit

-River why aren’t you closing the Tardis door

-THE GOD DAMN BOT

-Oh look Nardole’s alive too

-”Now that, my dear, is a suit.”  Gotta agree.

HOLE-LEE SHEE-EHT

-THAT’S THE SCREWDRIVER FROM ‘SILENCE IN THE LIBRARY’

-THAT WAS SEASON FOUR

-MOFFAT

-YOU’VE CONSTRUCTED A PLOT STRING THAT SPANS FIVE SEASONS YOU BIG ASSHOLE GENIUS SPIDER

(Screencap of webpage http://www.chakoteya.net/DoctorWho/30-9.htm)

-HOLY FLUKES HOW DARE YOU

-”Are you crying?”

-i-- yes yes i am  blame moffat not me

-”There are stories about us, you know.”  “Oh, I dread to think.”  Been looking around AO3, have you River?

-m o f f a t   y o u   m o t h e r f u c k e r

-asdflsdhglljfhslhHSAHG

-ASJDAFLHGLASDJHGFALSDF

-sglsdhgflWEGyglhsghsgFLH;;1 LDG lJHGJLHAGLJhglhgljhglhHS DFHS5134 GLHFGLSDHFGh 454123gshdHFJHgjGSJDFL

-$^B&C%TB#%*&#BWKUWURH#$VB&*#B*:#V:B&*$&*B#&VBBBEYBYEBYFF

Moffat you deceitful fuck, I won’t trust you until the very end

-But thank you for sparing us from saying goodbye to her face

You forgot to say ‘forever’

-Please just let them stay together happily for those 24 years

HA I spelled it right

-Overall one of the best Christmas specials in my personal opinion, and top-notch acting by Capaldi. Really, top, notch.

#watching for the first time #doctor who #dw series 9 #the husbands of river song #twelfth doctor #river song #peter capaldi #alex kingston #doctor who christmas special #reaction #review #whovian #long post #nardole #moffat #fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck #king hydroflax

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙||HOPE #4; ||You Know My Name, Not My Story||🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙

🌙🌙🔥🔥facebook, this is part of my life story, this is in the past. Im in no way a harm to myself and others. Thank u. PART FOUR!!!🌟🌟🥀🥀 *SatanslashGod; im gonna pray, i think God is calling me to fufill His duties. I was homeless for the 13th time. I walked the streets for days. I got possessed by God. And i acted out bizarrely insanely dangerously, abnormally, like an animal. I stayed up for 3 days straight. And taking extra of my medication. I had a full blown physcotic break. I didnt kniw my name. I was talking like a baby, waving my arms in the air. I lost all my senses. I forgot how to function. I got admitted to Loma Linda ER, and they took me in right away. I was like nonresponsive. I was an animal, a vegetable. I was dysfunctional. And then they transferred me to Loma Linda BMC. Mental hospital. While i was there i acted out. They put me on concervertaship, i had a hearing, and i saw the judge. It was my over 200th mental hospital. And the judge almost sent me to an institution but i lied, and i got off. Ive been concervered over 5 times. I gor diagnosed with ovee 10+ mental illnesses. Critically/Clinically Insane && The Most High Maitnence Case In The System. When i was 12 i sold my soul to the devil. And i became a bully. And multiple places and people told me that i had a serial killers personality, that she looked into my eyes and said "theres nothing in there" "your untreatable" "your too high maintenance for us to treat" my therapist Thea said ahe waz one step away from conserving me and taken to a state institution. And she said they probably couldn't treat me. Ive been to 215 mental hospitals. And ive been thru it all. I cant tell the difference between God and satan, when i get commands i cant tell the difference. *Richard Enxxellia/Puppoi/Three 7s/SeventyThree6's/UglyBitterSky; Richard gives me paranormal activities. Qualities, which he possesses me to act out dangerously. One example is when i get homoscidal. He decodes the devil into me. He moves certain objects and living things to make me use my 10 senses. As i dissociate to many alternate universes. The darkness takes over me. He decodes demons into me. Decoding me, i have codes, we all do. In NXSP. Rascal/Raskal is my therapy dog. Whos dying of cancer. I hallucinate him everywhere. But i see him as if he was real. And people tell me itz all in my head. Like i have a full blown convo or im playing with him. But my mom and bro tells me hes not in here. Three 7s is where my mania gets out of control. Like i feel like im famous, for the right or wrong reasons. Its all a delusional world. I go out of reality now 100% of the day. And thats not normal. *Bad Mommy-Good Mommy/Duplicates Of People/TwentyStepsForward; __::::TSF was a demon that Johnny hated, but somehow was connected too. So after Me/I, Izzy "Ace 8/Spizey/MsSweetInsanityyx" (Me/I/M3/iii) killed him. The reason why Lily "Dancing Fire" was so mad at Izzy was because TSF turned to ashes after Johnny died, (was killed by Izzy) and that made Lily wanna send Izzy to The Ends more, as she tried to follow thru with that plan, but failed. Ever since i killed Johnny, Dancing Fire has become a bigger and more dangerous demon in my head, becoming worse and telling Alvaro to possess me more. So Alvaro && Dancing Fire have gotten worse. After i killed Johnny. __::::Bad Mommy/Good Mommy take toll of my mind. When i was in my drug and alcohol addiction, Bad Mommy got worse, she wears a scar on her face. She abuses me, (in real life she did abuse me mentally and very rarely physically, but this was before i got back into my addiction) after i tried to come home after she kicked me out *again* (while i was homeless for the 13th time) i was on cocaine, meth. Acid, pills, heroin etc etc. I came home and she slammed me against a wall, and called me a whore. Then she "switched" and forgot about it later, it scared me, and she won my trust and forgiveness back by giving me brownies. This went on for awhile. In reality tho. She did call me really offensive names. But she didn't slam me against the wall. I was scared of her and on multiple occasions didn't wanna come home from school. Anyways i dont wanna elaborate on that. __::::Duplicates of people really fucked me up. This waz after me coming home in 2018. I saw duplicates of people i do and don't know. And it scares me. Now it only happens with my therapy dog, Rascal *Cones/Wesley "Presley" Garcia/Mr.OutOfDate; |__::::????::::__| XX_XX __::::????::::__ | | Cones;____Guide me in the right direction. Master Cone. Controlling your slaves and servants. Your fucking with my head, your make me follow your path, as u soar strangely thru the air. Trying to show me a new reality, the Cones are ahead of the other flying objects. Its like your all dancing around me and my reality of a dreamland, a dreamland like reality. You opened my eyes, but also made me more insane. Therez all sorts of shapes, dancing strangly. You made me dissociate more than usual. As i traveled all the universes and galaxies. You did both harm and good for me. Thank u, for opening up my eyes, as im developing my 11th sense, i already have 10 senses. You traumatized me and u saved me. Thank u. Cones and Objects. For becoming a part of me. Cones are non living transitioning to living. But only i can see them. I appreciate you all. All the different breeds and kinds of objects. Theres millions of them. And im glad we crossed paths. I love u my Cone Family🖤🥀🌙🔥 Wesley "Presley" Garcia;____ Dear, Wesley/Presley, Did u Wanna get away, why did u make Johnny so bad, i know u were his master. And i know after u died, Johnny took your place, but i had to kill him, he tortured me and all of NXSP, i just wanna ask, why are u so fucked up? We did nothing to deserve this torture. Thank u for trying ur best with Johnny, but i just wanna let u know, even if u tortured us (made Johnny do it) im still here for u, cus i jyst found out that you didn't torture Johnny. Lily lied. And i should have known. Johnny tortured u, and no one knew, so i apologize for blaming u. Johnny also made up stories about you, that u tortured him. And i just put the pieces together and i realized Johnny started all this. NOT ERIN! Lily is just as bad as Johnny and Alvaro. All 3 of them fucked and traumatized all of us. If there is anything i can do to help. Plz let me know. I wanna save NXSP. Not destroy it. I know ur dead, but i miss u. And i realized you tried to pull/put NXSP back together, now its just pure darkness. Do u mind (&& u dont have to if ur not comfortable with it) send us angels to protect us from harm. Like what Constance used to do. I love u hun, keep fighting, soldier, Sincerely, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez/Ace 8/Spizey/Ms_SweetInsanityyx && im also speaking for my family at NXSP. I love u. Hope u get this message.🖤🥀🌙🔥 Mr.OutOfDate;____ You give me reoccurring dreams and visions of my mom dying. && u made me live thru hell itself. Literally, and u bring me closer and more content with death. I feel like im dying everyday, like literally. I feel my body being tortured by my demons and Satan. Who ive met thru traveling the galaxies and universes. Why? I wanna live, not die. Heres a lil thing i wrote about this. "I wanna become content with living But i feel closer that death My mom is the only thing i have Without her i would already be dead I check her breathing while shes asleep on her bed I just wanna be dead No words left unsaid I feel closer to death everyday And i feel myself fading away Still happens to this day Losing levels of sanity more each day Losing my mind and i cant stay awake Ive been thru hell and torture Trauma, pain and darkness Do we know all the answers? Do we all get possessed by the devil Do we all lose control by the hour Dont die Mom Plz dont go Your my sun Plz dont go Your my reason I sold my soul to the darkness But i cant let my mom go Its hard to explain the love i have for her Its easy to explain why i love her Im becoming closer to death Got this fire in my heart Got this fire in my soul Im not whole, im not ok Maybe ill be ok one day I love u mom, Mr.OutOfDate, Youve come way to date You brought me and made me live thru hell Ive lived thru hell itself. Goodnight my beautiful sunshine Aint nobody dying tonight."-written by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez Were all strangers to ourselves. Its hard to say i love myself, cuz im broken and damaged. I love u mom, ur my everything. Your my sunshine my sunrise and my nighttime. If u die i die. Goodnight. 🖤🥀🌙🔥 *Visions&Hallucinations of Past&Future/ObjectsHavingAForceOnMe; Dancing Fire cordinates it. All 100% of my past flashes in my head at random times. And i cant control it. Id be in a completely different reality. And i use all my 10 intensitied senses for every part of my past. Like i was there again. CODE 203 J REPEAT CODE 203 THIS IS SYSTEM SHUTDOWN X FOLLOW ALL GIVEN PROCATIONS. Lily you need to get the fuck outta here with that shit. SHUT UP CHARLOTTE! Homie, you better back up. Im talking to u, Lily. Well Charlotte imma show Izzy her past right now. OHHHH IS THAT IT LILY THATS WHY UR SHUTTING EVERYTHING DOWN! I miss u Lily, the old u.. Im not feeling to good Lily. Im sorry Lily. IM DONE! When objects look at me, its like im looking in a mirror, and there using codes to take over me && they scare me, for example i can look at a door knob, a window. A sky, a cieling, and i feel like it has a force on me. Like there trying to get inside me. Like i see a chair and i scream cuz its looking right thru me. Heres a lil poem i wrote: "Dont talk to the ceiling It might talk back Taking over me Can u see me Can u hear me Do u get that peculiar feeling Of all the hell im dealing Leave me alone I dont have a stable home I look into ur eyes The pretty silver sky Its looking right thru me Its posessing oh its controlling me Got that strange feeling Are these the Aces that im dealing Your looking right thru me Dont listen to the walls They dont think when they talk Dont run away from fear Dont draw the devil nearer There decoding you my darling There breathing how non living objects should Cuz non living things are just as important As living things, your being cornered Breathe my friend In and out Breathe and shout Theres no way out There surrounding me Im inside my TV This is all a game And i declare you insane Smiles on everybody Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors Smiles on my little baby Nobody needs to ser what goes on behind closed doors. Take control dont let it control you Why are u so blue? Are u in the flumes Ace 8 Break It Down Theres No Way Out Im In The Dark Now Im Just Hellbound The more u try to fight it The stronger it gets I would take my life to save yours Trauma occurring 24/7 From 2001-2018 Over 10+ mental illnesses They say your insane Well they did diagnose me critically/clinically insane So play your game, Satan Torture me, im waiting So play your Ace, Aint nobody dying tonight Not in this place Your known as the girl with no face Your pointing me towards my dog days Who am i, good question Fuck me torture me, my new obsession Im used to hell and trauma I know rock bottom Im used to pain and darkness Were all in it for the torture There controlling me There possessing me They arnt living Sonetimes non living things Are more alive than the living Smiles on, everybody Shut them system down Smiles on, everyone Were not going down without a fight."-written by me. Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez Sometimes non living are more living than the living. I deal with this everyday. Stay strong yo. *Flying Objects/DemonsPosssesingMe; **||||** Flying Objects: objects that are non living but act like there living. All non living objects float around and talk and act like the living. Like the taxis, or the furniture or anything thats an object. Starts using there senses, they have more senses than us. Heres a lil thing i wrote about that.;;;; "You take control Sweet little ceiling A dangerous feeling Are we really dreaming Your magic head got me screaming You are demons inside of objects As the tables fly As the staircase sighs Its like a labrynth Were all sentenced Were in a fantasy This isnt reality Wake up. Wake up Torture me plz dont stop Wake up wake up All non living things are living All non living things are living Dont be drifting Dont be living Cuz ur not living No not at all They all have faces They all have bodies They all have senses Dont be scared my love Dont runaway my love Im an animal in a cage I got blinding rage I got bad and good days The chairs are all wrong Smiley is coming back Am i wrong? Am i right? Police on the search for me There not gonna catch me These flying objects are very living They will protect me They will seduce me. Flying objects flying round They dont make a single sound Take me far away"-written by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez **||||** Demons Possessing Me; ??????Different Species if demons come and literallt possess me. I start raising hell ans becoming the demon thats controlling my body. I literally "snap into DeZanity" which is 100% worse than Insanity. I become dangerous, act out strangely unsafely dangerously etc etc. I become worse than satan himself. I walk thru and live thru hell itself. Ive seen hell. Ive literally lived in hell. I become darkness itself. Heres a lil thing i wrote about this; "Falling down to rock bottom Lived inside hell, oh pardon? Did u possess me last night the devil fucked me in the dark light I dont kno what to do Why u feelin blue, My darling my darling They say im acting strange Out of character as u say They say i went completely insane Out of character as they say The darkness controlling me Demons possessing me Im dangerous, im dangerous This aint fun Im always on the run I snapped into DeZanity I lost all my senses Ive died many times Im just fucking senseless As all the species of demons Come inside of me Im a dysfunctional animal Im a dysfunctional animal Who am i, my mind is worse than hell itself The devil puts himself up on the shelf Hes not powerful enough to enter Tryna make these dreams centered Tryna make reality my bitch Dont try. Do, win lose Dont do. Try, lose win Either way. There out to get me Lets change the codes Weve already killed ourselves. So far away from home Im feeling so alone. Im feeling cold Flying around the universes There aint no reverses Imma tell u a secret I am more powerful than the devil Are u gonna run and hide Were committing suicide My name is Izzy, Ace 8 My name is Tyler, Ms_SweetInsanityyx Lets fuck this place up Im here to save and help all non living And living things, im here to save the world I help, care. Love support be there Im by there side no matter what When u fall ill lift u up I help everyone and everything obsessivly Im on the battlefield fighting by yo side Im not in the sidelines Lets get ready to snap back Izzys out for the attack. Goodnight, Drearyyx"-written by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez _____________||||____________ *Dancing Rooms/Past In Vivid Movie-LikeForm; ||||_||||Dancing Rooms; dont talk to the ceiling it might talk back. Im in a dreamscape, traveling thru the galaxies, doors all over the walls, all the stair cases are going in many directions, they keep moving. They dont stop. Each room is something new. Im walking over the stars 🌟 , i see all of these different galaxies. Were midnight racing. Its like im in a Lo-Fi setting. All my dreams turned reality. Im in a wild place. Im soaring thru space. U ever seen the movie Labrynth with David Bowie its like that. I feel so free, racing cars over the stars. Im not in reality. Im escaping. Its like im flying, always flying. Im traveling everywhere. You saved me. Dancing Room. Its like a good trip. Like were in a movie, many kinds of movies. Its a new reality. Im escaping earth. So many colors. So much to see. Im sitting on the sunrise. I turn on Lo-Fi radio (the app is purple) and i do meditation to it. I go to extraordinary places. Thank u Dancing Rooms. ||||_|||| Past In Vivid Like Movie Form; so u kno ive had brutal trauma. Hell, pain, torture, bad experiences occurring 24/7 since 2001-2018, and u read part of my life story. Well theres sone parts u dont kknow, Dancing Fire flashes my past in more than just flashbacksx its in vivid movie form frok beginning to end. But its everyday. And even when im happy i get reminded that it constantly, Dancing Fire aka Lileth "Lily" Ramos-Garcia. Tortures me with it. The more i try to escape it or "put my past in the past" i get reminded of it everyday, from beginning to end. Its not ok. And i also get nightmares everynight that makes me not wanna sleep. Like i could be doing my thing, and out of fucking nowhere here comes the show (vivid movie like form of my past from beginning to end) and i cant escape. People say "leave ur past in the past" uh how am i supposed to do that if i get constantly reminded of it every day. ?? But yet i help care love support fix save be there for everyone and everything obsessivly. And i dont stop. I love helping others, i wanna save and fix all non living and living things. That's what keeps me alive. Someone asks me "what's wrong Izzy. U havent been yourself lately?" i tell them an excuse like "im fine" so imagine this: _Having over 10+ Mental illnesses _Having trauma occurred 24/7 from 2001-2018 _being constantly reminded of ur past daily _having 22+ mental breakdowns a day, every day _trying to remain sane _dealing with the present. _never escaping the past _everything combined together times 10+ working all at once _and trying to describe what ur feeling/whats going on/what's wrong, cus u don't know how to explain it _Constantly having demons fuck with ur head _hating myself _having an eating disorder/autism _not kniwing what ur feeling _feeling unwanted and unloved _being tortured, abused, raped most of ur life _not knowing who u are _having no home from 2011-2018 _having no hope _having severe brain damage _being critically/clinically insane _Been thru/experienced mostly every traumatic thing _not wanting pity sympathy or attention _after 2018, the hell never ending, getting worse mentally physically and emotionally _being insecure _dealing and drug addiction/alcoholism (im over 1 year sober _being the blacksheep _being LBGTQ _not wanting to date ever again/hating sex _cant go in public without breaking down _dissociating 99% of the day _explaining yourself to people _my mom being sick. My dogs having cancer _my mom and bro not wanting me home _thinking ur worth nothing _being a prisoner to ur mind _not knowing who u are _Alvaro possessing me _not feeling like ur in ur body/being possessed _paranioa/objects having a force on u _being confused/delusional _everything youve read/heard in all of this story applied to u everyday _acting like ur okay _trying to save. Fix. Love. Care, support, help, be there for everyone and everything obsessivly but not feeling like its good enough _missing my unbio son, Anthony everyday. _not wanting to cry or show emotions _avoiding feeling feelings/being so used to the bad that u cant process the good _not processing things _wanting to end ur life on a daily basis _wanting to self harm/act out on a daily basis _just hating yourself/having trust and anger issues _the rest i cant explain 🌟🔥🌙Hey this is Izzy here, thank u for breathing, for being alive. Im proud of u. Thank u for coming to my TED TALK.🌙🔥 **Another One Of My Suicide Attempts (i was on the online news); My brother and i got into a huge fight. Cuz we were playing pranks on eachother, but around that time i got raped *again* my mom still isnt aware that it. My whole past flashed by in my head vividly. My mom and brother told me they didnt want me home. And i felt like a failure. I was walking on the side of the street and the highway. I self harmed really bad. But i got home and everything else was a blackout. I had 33 breakdowns that day. We were at Farmer Boys. And my mom kept asking if i was "okay" i told her "yes" but i was lying. I had dreams of my granpa dying (hes deceas3d now) and my monmm dying. My mental health got 10 times worse. Leading up to my attempt i got raped again* by 10 people one by one torture, abusing and raping me for about 2 hours. I still havnt told my mom. I came home and i tried to have a "silent suicide attempt" i took 2 bottles of Gabapentin (one of my medications, this ones for anxiety) and they were big bottles, and i took every pill in there. I started fading out and u heard a voice in my head, trying to stop me from dying. I called 911 and told them that i overdosed, they got all my info and told me to stay where i was. There were fire trucks. Ambulances, police cars. They made me drink Charcoal, instead of pumping my stomach. My mom came out && was talking to the officers/AMRs etc. They did there normal procedures and transported me to Corona Regional Medical Center (aka CRC). I had a sitter, or a 1:1, they did their hospital procedures and i got transferred to "The Willows Mental Hospital" (Still CRC but not emergency, just psychiatric) my brother told me i was on the Corona Newspage, descibing my attempt. But not using any names of people. But it showed my house. I stayed on a 52/50 hold. I cant remember clearly exactly how the whole thing happened but im doing the best i can. ________________________________________ 🌙🔥🌟🥀hey its izzy, if anyone needs a prayer lemme know ok. This is something i just wrote, its from my heart. Stay True!!! Keep sharing your story, cuz it matters you matter your life matters YOU MATTER. , thank u for breathing, for continuing and being alive. Ur all Angels, you are a work of art, you just gotta put the peices together. U gotta creaate your art, your story. It doesnt end here tho. Id give my life if it meant all of u become painless, im not a saint. I just wanna be the person to save care love be there for living and non living things. Yea ive had trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018, but its 2020 in a month. All i want for Christmas is for all yall to be safe and happy. If any of yall need anything, ill be here. Ill be fighting by ur side on the battlegrounds. Im sitting here crying cuz idk how to fix this world. Im proud of u. Even if u didnt wanna be alive today, youve made it another day and youve made it this far. Your doing the best u can. You all make me wanna cry cuz of how amazing u are and how beautiful ur soul is. If ur thinking about taking ur life tonight trust me ive been there. Put ur hand on ur heart, feel that? That's purpose. Your life is a mess right now. Keep looking up. Your someones reason. I wanna save ur life tonight/today. Thank u for ecsisting. I know its dark out, you grow stronger every second. Take ur time. Slow down, take a moment or a few moments. Relax ur whole body, ur gonna be ok. Ur gonna keep fighting. For everyone but mainly for yourself. Im proud of u. Trust me im far from ok. But id do anything if it means everyone else can ok. U are a broken soul. But we will fight, we will win. We will stick together x im here for all yall. Dont go. Its not ur time. I kno it may seem cliche. Bit ur voice matters ur story matters your message matters. YOU MATTER YOUR IMPORTANT YOU HAVE A PURPOSE YOUR ENOUGH YOUR WORTH IT. ! Thank u for being u. This is Izzy here. Keep fighting, soldier. Keep going. Your destiny is inside of u. I love u all. Message me if anything. Stay true stay u. Live u my warriors my angels xx----Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me)🖤🥀🖤🥀