#anyway to make this clear what's happening here is that welsknight is worried about how xisuma is handling how ex treated him in season 8.

[theminecraftbee]

When Wels stops speaking, Xisuma is quiet for a while.

“Isn’t that from like, twelve-step programs? I’m not sure how it’s relevant,” Xisuma says, finally.

“X,” Wels says.

“I mean, and also, I don’t even know if I believe in any kind of god. I mean, I know the universe, and it says it loves us, but beyond that, who’s to say? It’s a philosophical question, mostly. I’ve thought about it a lot before. But really, does it apply if I don’t know any higher being? Other than us, I guess. We’re higher beings. We change the universe. Gosh, that’s a lot.”

“X,” Wels says again, a little more insistently.

“And besides, isn’t it - isn’t it all just an aphorism? A... no, that’s not the right word, a... a truism! Something that says a lot but sort of means nothing? A platitude. I mean -”

“X,” Wels says again, and Xisuma stops talking. He looks down. “X, I’m worried about you, and it’s helped me before. That’s all. I’m worried. I thought you could use... I don’t know, some serenity.”

“So you told me the serenity prayer.”

“I think... I think you could use reminding that sometimes, how someone treats you, that isn’t your fault. And you couldn’t have changed it. And you need to...”

“I mean, personally -” Xisuma starts, but he stops when he sees the pained, hopeless expression on Welsknight’s face.

“I just - you won’t say the words. I’m trying to give you them,” Wels says. “I can’t say that I - it’s different with me and him, but. I just.”

“The serenity to accept that which I can’t change,” Xisuma says, after a moment.

“The strength to change what you can. The wisdom to know the difference,” Wels finishes. “Just. Think about it. It wasn’t -”

“Okay. Okay, I’ll think about it,” Xisuma says easily. “Okay.”

“Alright. And talk to us slightly more than you have been.”

“I’m being social! Or at least, as much as I ever am?”

“I know, X. Just... humor me a little. It’s not the same, but I know...”

Xisuma sighs. “Okay. I will.” He’s not sure what words will be the right ones, or if he’ll be okay when he does, but he supposes he must, if Wels is really worried about him after everything that had happened in the Evil Empire. He supposes he must.

#hermitcraft #welsknight #xisuma #religious mentions #(if there's a better tag for that let me know) #a bee fic #there is some VERY oblique references made to abuse here but you already have to know what i'm talking about to understand #anyway. welsknight was telling xisuma a prayer here my mother told me once while i was in a panic spiral #it... didn't really help. but the principle of 'so change what you can' stuck with me #even if i think that's maybe not what the principle is meant to be. #so this is me thinking about some of those emotions #one day i will write the longer fic about xisuma dealing with all of this. one day. #anyway to make this clear what's happening here is that welsknight is worried about how xisuma is handling how ex treated him in season 8.