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crystalflygeo · 1 year

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Sinful voice pt.2 ft “Morax”/Prof!Zhongli + fem!reader (modern AU)

cw/tags: Voice kink, daddy kink, dirty talk, female masturbation, oral and fingering implied but like it's just fantasizing?? petnames (sweetheart, babygirl, dear) Reader is DOWN BAD LMAO and suffers second hand embarrasment.

notes: EVERYBODY SAY THANK YOU @localplaguenurse!!They gave me a F A N T A S T I C idea that just inspired me to continue this wip and ended up not even being featured here yet but HEY... future p3!! //winkwink. That said I did NOT expect how much this would blow up and how ppl loved it and wanted more, y'all gonna make me giddy and/or cry pls (consider checking some of my other stuff too mayhaps? <3) Anyway I REALLY hope this delivers bc boi am I afraid of not meeting expectations vcgvhjbnjnmklal

Weeks had passed since your ‘big discovery’ and you still weren’t quite sure what to do with this information.

At first you chalked it up to just your imagination because… there was no way, right? Your new professor could just have a… similar voice… yeah… that was it.

Except the more you listened to his long-winded explanations the more you picked up certain words and intonations here and there and you knew you were just fooling yourself.

A lot had happened in these last few weeks, from organizing your new living space, to meeting your roommates, to grocery shopping, classes, and you had even considered the idea of maybe getting a part time job somewhere close by. There were plenty of small shops and places around the college campus neighborhood that not only offered valuable services to poor college students but also the opportunity to make a bit of money to help them out.

It had all been rather exhausting and stressing, exams, essays and projects were already starting too…

Lying back in bed you sigh and roll over, feeling the familiar faint throb of desire pooling between your legs, one you’d never really managed to sate with a person so much as with fantasies. But tonight, as you lay awake in bed aching for your usual touch, you feel conflicted.

Ever since that very first day you just couldn’t bring yourself to open up Morax’s website again. Hell, a new month had rolled over and you’d dutifully paid the subscription along with your other usual bills.

Part of you was itching for it, curious, frustrated.

And very very horny.

Thing is, your fantasies had often featured a faceless man, strong, imposing and dominating, taking you like a blushing maiden and making you beg for the pleasure he’d give, allowing him to do anything he wanted with your heated body. Now that man had a face… your history professor Mr. Zhongli.

You used to get off to imaginings of Morax tying you up and having his way with you, teasing you, fucking you into the mattress and making you cum over and over. Now it was Mr. Zhongli. Polite and courteous Mr. Zhongli with his refined gestures and well-mannered demeanor.

You wanted to cum, to reach that high and come undone and let out all the pent-up stress and frustration until you melted into a puddle and didn’t have to think about classes or money or life anymore, but the second your fingers began to rub at your clit, Mr. Zhongli’s voice would hit you with that even tone he used when scolding someone for gossiping during his lecture.

“Disgraceful behavior…”

A hot flash of shame burned at your face but for whatever reason it just turned you on more. You wanted to get fucked so bad you felt like you were going insane. You wanted that man to pin you up against a wall and thrust inside you until you turned into an incoherent moaning mess. You wanted to get bent over at his desk and filled up with cum until you were left gaping and oozing and told what a good girl you are. You wanted to get fucked on your hands and knees squirming and crying from overstimulation.

Lying in bed, you squeezed a pillow against your face and screamed.

You wanted to fuck your handsome history professor Mr. Zhongli.

-------------------------------------

It’s barely first period and you couldn’t concentrate.

You were sleepy, hungry and overall, in a bad mood. Standing in line at the cafeteria for a much-needed morning coffee and some snack you yawn and browse around your phone. Math. Gods you hated math.

At least you didn’t have history today. That was a whole other can of worms.

You figured you’d eventually have to get over it but it was just… so bizarre. Mr. Zhongli was quite the popular teacher, you’d learned. Extremely knowledgeable in various topics, a strict but kind and just teacher and good looking on top of all.

No wonder the upperclassmen flocked around him, probably half the campus lowkey had a crush on him, male and female students alike. It was genuinely a miracle he was not married or even had a significant other apparently.

And he was also Morax. Sensual dominating Morax who would just not leave your head-

“Good morning, how may I help you?” The cashier called out cheerfully and you pulled out of your thoughts.

“Morn-”

“Good morning.”

You gasp so sharply you almost launch into a coughing fit; your eyes widen and whole body tenses and oh shit-

Somehow you manage to trip and fall in the clumsiest, stupidest way possible.

“Woah-!”

“Miss?!”

Except you don’t actually fall, but someone manages to hold you, a hand grabbing your arm and the other pressed against your back steadying you as your poor brain goes into overdrive.

That voice!

It’s him!

Too close!

What is he doing here?!

Way too close!!

The seconds it takes for you to react feel like ages as you stare up at Mr. Zhongli like a deer caught in the headlights.

His hands are warm…

His cologne smells soooo good.

His eyes are gorgeous!

He’s so hot!!

“Are you alright Miss l/n?”

“I’M FINE! I-I’m fine!” You yelp, way louder than intended (or normal) and quickly scoot back to put some distance between yourself and the handsome professor. He picks up his dropped bag and dusts it a little, as well as his clothes, still pristine as ever. “I… think I got a little dizzy s-sorry I haven’t eaten yet and… yeah…” You chuckle nervously.

You see him frown slightly. “Going without food for long periods of time can be quite dangerous.” He states, obviously concerned. “Maybe you should head to the infirmary see Dr Baizhu, you look quite pale and the dizziness could be a symptom of low blood pressure. Do you have anything sugary to eat or drink?”

“I w-was about to buy something…”

“It might be best for you to sit down for the moment.” He nods, resolute. “Allow me.”

…And that’s how you end up sitting at one of the nearby small tables with a little glazed donut and a bottle of water, courtesy of your dear history professor.

You stare at the little treat in your hands, half eaten already as he insisted, at least your hands stopped shaking and some color returned to your face. Mr. Zhongli seemed content enough, sitting across from you.

“T-Thank you.” You mumble, refusing to meet his gaze. “How much was it? I’ll pay you back I have som-”

He sees you rummaging through you bag and raises a hand. “None of that, you needed it. I’m glad to see you’re looking a little better, please take care of yourself, health is very important.”

“Um, ok.”

Then he smiles, and it’s gentle, soft. “You’re Miss l/n, right? One of the new students from my history class?”

Huh?

“You didn’t do very well on the essay assignment…”

Ack. You sigh and take another bite of the small donut. “History is just… not my strong suit. Too many dates and names to remember.”

He chuckles and oh God who gave him the right to make that sound? Your skin tingles.

“Fair enough. I know my classes can be a little daunting, I’m very particular about certain topics and tend to ramble sometimes. But I can tell you really put effort into classes and pay attention to my lectures.” He looks pensive for a moment. “Let me propose something. I usually impart some private tutoring sessions to students on more advanced levels, but I could make an exception for you. If you have time available it could help lift your grades.”

You stare up at him in surprise, grateful to not have a mouthful of donut or you would have probably choked again like an idiot. Did you hear that right? A private tutoring session after hours at his office?!

Now that sounded like a title for one of Morax’s audios: Hot professor bangs his stu-NOPE.

“I-I’ll think about it! Sure.”

He nods and gets up, sparing a glance at his watch. “I have to leave now, please do consider it. And do try to eat at more regular intervals and take better care of yourself, you look quite tired.”

A polite way of saying you had marked eyebags, yep.

“I’ll try.” You mumble. Suddenly a little sad to see him go. “Professor… thank you.”

There’s that smile again, you could melt. “You’re welcome, my dear.”

----------------------------------

And yet that night, you’re once again rolling in bed unable to sleep.

My dear.

You couldn’t stop thinking on the whole incident, you’d certainly made a fool of yourself but the memory of his strong arms holding you, touch firm but gentle. The scent of his cologne that you wish had clung more on your clothes.

You really were down bad, this is ridiculous…

You bite your lip.

You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t.

Oh but you will, just one wouldn’t hurt.

Quite the opposite actually…

Unable to contain yourself (or your horniness) you take no time to pop in your earbuds and start scrolling. Hmm… there had been a couple new additions in these last weeks.

You can’t help but wonder why he does these. When. How. You never really considered or thought on it before, Morax has quite a lot of patrons (not a surprise) and thought you know nothing about sound and video recording or editing technically he’s making money just by using that honeyed velvet voice of his. That had to bring in some cash, right?

But then again, if you knew anything about these types of subscriptions it was that they required constancy and that meant hard work and dedication. Did he enjoy these? He really puts in the effort given the amazing quality…

You can’t help but picture your handsome professor unwinding a little after a long day, casual clothes, a cup of that tea he loves and setting up to record those dirty words and sinful moans.

Did he sometimes get worked up about these too? Did he also touch himself during or after recording a particular scenario? Sitting back slightly sprawled on the chair, brow slightly furrowed, stroking his co-

Aaahhhh you needed to stop thinking on him.

…

Yeah right.

“Daddy eats you out and prepares you for his big cock.”

Well, this looks promising.

The audio starts like many others, with some dialogue from him and setting the scene and oh… you had kind of missed the playful teasing tilt of Morax’s voice. You can’t help but chuckle lightly, this scene is so domestic. He calls you “sweetheart”, “babygirl” and there are the kissy noises.

You wish you could kiss him…

“Hmmm… daddy’s gonna get you nice and ready. Spread your legs for me.” Oh, you certainly do. “Daddy’s gonna get down here between them.”

You rub at your tights slowly, sensual, remembering his larger hands.

“Oh your little pussy is already so wet and swollen.” Morax coos, voice soft and airy. “You think it’s already ready I know.” He chuckles. “But you know daddy’s cock is big, yeah, your little pussy’s gonna need to stretch a little bit hm?” A kiss.

You whine.

“Shhh daddy’s gonna make you feel so good sweetheart.”

Lewd wet noises invade your ears and you waste no time starting to stroke yourself, slow and tender. He groans and sighs and you whimper, hips jolting from the bed.

Gods how was he so…

“Yeah… nice and gentle hmm, we’re gonna have so much fun.”

His words were a complete 180 from the long lectures about politics and wars, and yet, his voice…

“D-Daddy…” You sigh. “Please!”

“Oh I love how sensitive your little clit is… you like that babygirl?”

You rub and stroke at the little bundle of nerves and see stars already.

You were so pent up, so needy. Your orgasm was already building too quickly, mewling and whining at his words, his noises, trying to match the pace and follow his instructions.

“That’s a good girl.”

“F-Fuck-”

Your eyebrows furrow, your body trembles and you bit your lip to contain your noises. Morax warns you when he adds a finger, and after a few seconds another, chuckling low at how you clench, praising you, coaxing out your pleasure.

You can only picture him at the end of the bed, licking and sucking obscenely at your juices, pumping those slender fingers in and out, in and out…

That tantalizing voice teasing you, your fingers knotting that dark brown hair tipped amber, golden eyes staring up at you half-lidded but feral and fascinated. Focusing on you. Only you.

“A-Ah! Mhmm…”

“Now I want you to cum babygirl come on, in five… four…”

You stroke and pump faster, frantic, lost in that rapidly approaching high.

“Three… two…”

You cry out, a spark cursing through your veins.

“One… hmmm that’s it my dear.”

“Z-Zhongli…!”

He ushers you out of your release with soft words before saying something else, but your mind is floating and hazy. Your take off the earbuds and place them away catching your breath for a moment, arm draped over your face, the audio still has a long way to go but you’re drowsy and sleepy so you decide to call it a night.

It is only a little later, once you’re done with a quick cleaning and putting everything away, curled up under the covers and dozing off that you realize…

Shit.

You’d called not for Morax but Zhongli.

#genshin smut #zhongli smut #genshin x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact smut #crys writes #fem reader #professor zhongli #man I really hope this doesn't feel rushed or forced vghbjnk pls I tried my best OTL I know the scene jumps are jarring but #fun fact 1 when I was in uni there was this one beautiful amazing french teacher that half the campus had a crush on #literally everyone loved her she was amazing she was not my bi awakening but boi she CEMENTED it #and it's funny bc literally like ??? girls and boys crushing HARD on her and she was bi and SINGLE and so kind and cool and around our age #anyway that's zhongli 1000%#fun fact 2 I once almost fainted at uni bc I had. in fact. not eaten breakfast or dinner the night before #and my blood pressure just dropped also bc the heat didn't help so rip I got better with a coca cola tho

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sir-yeehaw-paws · 4 months

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Big Boss: What Happened?

Big Boss: Info Dump Request

@qoppybirdie requested:

This is my attempt at fulfilling that, with my own take on it. And probably a whole lot longer than OP wanted. But here we are.

Google Doc version. NOW ACCEESIBLE (Opened Access)

As a quick aside, I personally consider Portable Ops canon to the timeline and lore. Not everyone does, but in this I will be using examples from Portable Ops, as to me, it’s canon. I’m aware this is debated, so I’m putting it out there first and foremost.

Here we go!

“Politics are a living thing. They change along with the times. Today’s good may be tomorrow's evil.”-The Boss, to Big Boss (then Naked Snake) during the Virtuous Mission, 1964.

Big Boss, known as John/Jack, was born in the USA in 1935. Almost nothing of his life is known until the age of 15/16, when he met The Boss in 1950, becoming her apprentice. The Boss served as his mentor, and remains one of the most defining figures in his life, up until his death in 2014. Soon after meeting The Boss, John fought in the Korean War, and was part of nuclear testing in Bikini Atoll, in 1954.

This puts the FOX unit in jeopardy, and at risk of execution unless they can prove America wasn’t involved, with Big Boss given the task of rescuing Dr. Sokolov for a second time, assassinating the Boss, and as they put it “if possible, Colonel Volgin”. Volgin happens to have a metal gear, but that’s secondary to this story believe it or not.

This is the Operation where he also meets Ocelot, and Eva. Both of whom we’ll get back to later.

Cue Operation Snake Eater, and what is arguably the start of a nearly 60 year downfall for Big Boss. Big Boss defeats the Shagohod Metal Gear and Volgin, (does not manage to save Sokolov) and kills The Boss. When he returns to the United States, he’s given a medal for his service, and is left with a feeling of emptiness, grief and a whole lot of unanswered questions.

Whenever I think about the spiral of Big Boss, I tend to come back to the moment here, (and the one later, when he’s at the Boss’ grave). It can be argued that he never, ever recovers from this. While it takes him a lifetime to understand it, by the time of his death in 2014,he has fallen so far from the man he once was that it’s only at death he can acknowledge what he’s become, to his clone son Solid Snake,(Dave).

“Boss, you only need one Snake now..no, the world would be better without Snake’s.” Big Boss (at the Boss’ grave to Solid Snake, in 2014)

I could almost end this here, on the notion that he was used by the military to kill someone he loved and cared about, and lost all sense of what he believed in, and himself, in doing so. That the next 60ish years are just him going through the motions, attempting to come to a conclusion that doesn’t exist.

Why was he used? Why was he the one that needed to pull the trigger? Big Boss wasn’t exactly what I’d call an ‘idealist’ before that, but he did hold certain preconceived beliefs about his place in the world, and what he was meant to do with it. And that he had all of them wiped aside in an instant, all to save face for a country that would discard him at a moment's notice.

Before she was assassinated, the Boss was legendary as a soldier, and an American. She was idolised by her country and the people she served and worked with. When we find out later that her defection was part of a mission, and that it was jeopardised by Volgin behaving in a way nobody saw coming, it took nothing for them to discard her. When Big Boss is being awarded a service medal and the president attempts to shake his hand, I can imagine those are the thoughts playing on loop in his head.

They honour him now, in the moment. Yet a week before he was almost going to be executed by that same government and country, and his mentor, someone so beloved by the USA, was given that exact fate

He realizes here that his role, his personhood means nothing in the greater scope of war, and he’s supposed to just stand there, accept a handshake and pretend this total farce is a good thing?

Just like she told him, “Today's enemy, tomorrow’s friend.” That was a lesson the Boss understood before he did, and it’s one that he grasps all too well afterwards..to a degree. Big Boss we come to see is betrayed again and again by the people around him, because up to a certain point, he allows people into his life. In the same need for human connection and meaning all people have. Something that is abused countless times by the people close to him.

It takes years, but at some point, he does eventually give up. As we’ll see.

Following Operation Snake Eater, Big Boss leaves the military for a bit. He works at various jobs like hunting guides, only to go back to fighting and meet and rescue Frank Jaeger during the Mozambican War of Independence in 1966, but ultimately ends up doing mercenary work. In 1970, he’s captured via drugging by another rogue FOX unit, headed by a rogue agent known as GENE in what became the San Hieronymo Incident.

Gene had an idea, a nation of soldier’s. Made by soldier’s for soldiers.

This will sound extremely familiar, as it is almost verbatim to what Big Boss ends up creating himself later on. Outer Heaven. Even though the San Hieronymo Incident ends in Gene’s defeat, and with Big Boss returning to the USA and forming The Patriots with his former commander, Major Zero and members of the unit in Operation Snake Eater. Such as SIGINT (Donald Anderson), Para-Medic, Ocelot and Eva. Using some of the Philosopher’s Legacy, (money), The Patriots started out as an attempt to unify the world, but expanded and corrupted far beyond that original goal.

Big Boss himself leaves the Patriots in 1972, after facing the second major betrayal via the creation of Les Enfants Terribles (aka, ‘The Terrible Children), under Para-Medic’s care. Without telling Big Boss, or asking his consent, LET was undergone using Big Boss’ DNA, with an unnamed egg donor and Eva as the surrogate to make his clone sons, Solid Snake and Liquid Snake (Eli). As well as the ‘perfect clone’ Solidus Snake, (George). (He was not surrogated by Eva, however).

“They’re no sons of mine.” “Just a bunch of cells grown in a lab?”

“What they are is much sicker than that.”- John and Ocelot discussing the clone sons, in 1984.

LET existed because Zero and Para-Medic wanted to ensure the continuation of Big Boss’ genes and soldier capabilities. He saw them as an abomination and betrayal. After learning of LET, Big Boss leaves the Patriots, and the United States. Working again as a mercenary for higher.

No matter what he does, he cannot get himself out of warzones.

“The Boss and I may have gone down different paths, but we were trapped in the same cage.”- Big Boss to Solid Snake, in 2014

Really quick, the definition of a mercenary according to Merriam Webster is; ‘one that serves merely for wages’. They mostly find themselves in warzones, but they are not fighting on behalf of a country. They are not conscripted or drafted. The gain is purely financial. But most specifically, a mercenary is hired ‘for foreign conflicts’ in particular. This is largely because a country may want to get involved in a certain conflict, or mission, but are unable to legally, or without raising suspicions. Thus, they hire a non-related mercenary, for pay, to do what they cannot.

This is the sort of environment Big Boss finds himself operating in more often than not. He’s fresh off a second betrayal, mistrustful and hurt, and finds himself on the lam and a gun for hire in Columbia, eventually ending up hired by the Colombian government to work with their army. I can imagine his attitude in Columbia being one that is grieving, disillusioned and bitter. It’s here that he comes upon a guerilla squad commanded by Kazuhira Miller, and wipes them out. Except for Miller. Who he ‘recruits’ under the idea of it being non-negotiable. Kaz is the only survivor, and if he doesn’t stay with Big Boss, he’ll be executed. (Instead, Big Boss blackmails a commander who could be responsible for it, in order to keep Kaz off the chopping block). Which is a nice little fact to hang over Kaz’s head, should he choose to escape.

Heiwa to Kazuhira no Blues (the Peace Walker audio drama) expands on this a great deal. His ‘recruitment’ is no simple thing, and Big Boss also puts Kaz through a number of rigged trials he knows Kaz can’t win, in order to further cement his place under him. Combining that in conjunction with the fact that Kaz will be executed should he not ally with Big Boss (and I’ll point out here that yes, Kaz does try to blow himself and Big Boss up with a grenade but does he really want to die?) it’s something of a hopeless situation and somewhat one-sided.

The entire relationship and scenario with Kaz is complicated enough on its own. Kaz isn’t a fully innocent victim either, but it is at this point and time that one can see a significant shift happening in Big Boss’ mindset. There’s a sinister element to the trials he puts Kaz through, and yet, there’s still a part of him that clings to the idea of companionship. He’s edging closer to the dark end of grey in his climbing scale, but he has not yet crossed that point.

Kaz spearfishing during one of the trials (art by Yoji Shinkawa)

Defeated, Kaz joins Big Boss, and as his subcommander they form one of the first ever PMC’s (or, Private Military Company)-Militaires Sans Frontières (Army without Borders, or MSF). The concept of the PMC later takes over in the world (and the disastrous environment Solid Snake finds himself dealing with come 2014). While in MSF, Big Boss finds himself in Costa Rica to deal with the Peace Walker incident, and becomes allied there with some revolutionaries from the Sandinista National Liberation Front, who are under the command of Amanda Valenciano Libre, after the death of her father (the original commander). And via Amanda, Big Boss meets her brother, Ricardo Valenciano Libre, or. Chico.

Chico is where this gets complicated. Chico is around 12 years old at the time, and one of the key elements to where we see Big Boss’ mindset shifting fully. While he’s still somewhat optimistic, even a little goofy at times (the way we see him in Snake Eater), Chico’s situation is a mixed bag. On the one hand, it’s easy to argue that Chico being part of the MSF is one of the only alternatives he could have at the time. He’s in the middle of a warzone with his sister. If he’s not under Big Boss, where else can he go? What else can he reasonably do?

-What makes discussing Big Boss so tricky, I think-and why I believe it’s almost impossible to say he had some sort of ‘turning point’, is that it is completely possible to look at everything he does, everything that happens, and find a way to excuse or come up with a justification, or even logic for it. This is not me saying that he is right, or a good person. Metal Gear cannot just be boxed into ‘good’ or ‘evil’ it is grey. It is supposed to be grey. It centres around people and themes that do not have such simplistic barriers to work with. That is the point.-

-The downfall of Big Boss does not happen overnight. It is a slow burning wreck that expands and grows. It is the make-up and conclusion of many factors, incidents and events. It happens slowly, and sometimes it happens below the surface.-

For all intents and purposes, Chico is a child soldier. But is that Big Boss’ fault? Children are as wrapped up in war as any other. War does not care if you’re a child, or an adult. Did Chico truly have anywhere else to go?

I don’t really have an answer to that. And I’m going to admit it out right. What I will say is that early on in Chico’s recruitment, Big Boss rescues Chico, but he doesn’t want to go back with him because he’s ashamed of giving up information (link should be time stamped for access) about the others to the enemy.

There are MANY ways to interpret this moment. I’ve seen various interpretations of it myself, but here’s how I’m going to explain it. As per how I see it. Again, this is a complicated story and scenario-and people’s view on it is going to differ a lot. One of the points I really want to stress in this far-too-long essay here is that none of what we see comes with the easiest answers. It’s all layered. How you view a moment may differ from how someone else views it.

Anyway, to me, I’m going to put it like this. Big Boss knows that Chico doesn’t mean that. What I can’t say for sure is if he’d have really shot him or not (I don’t think he would’ve, not only because he promised Amanda he’d bring Chico back, and if nothing else Big Boss will usually complete his missions. But that as far as we know, he never outright executes a child in the series). But Chico does not know this. Big Boss is, essentially, showing Chico that no, he doesn't want to die, come on now. And that breaking under the situation isn’t something he needs to feel guilty about. Nor, is it worth dying for.

WE can assume that Big Boss isn’t going to hurt him. WE can realise that but there is no way for Chico to hold the same understanding here.

But Chico isn’t a man. Chico is a child. When Chico dies in 1975, Skullface says something very similar. Negating the fact that at the end of the day, this is no adult.

“No more wargames, you’re a real man now, soldier”.-Skullface (to Chico when he’s a tortured prisoner in Camp Omega, 1975)

Here, Big Boss is visibly (I can assume anyway) attempting to encourage Chico. Prove to him that he doesn’t want to die, and that he doesn’t need to die for the infraction he believes himself to have made. (None of Chico’s compatriots blame him for giving up information, and why would they? He is a kid).

But did he? Big Boss can think that the ‘child’ died, and he became a man. But is any of that really true? Is Chico not as much a child now as he is when he dies a year later?

I find it very significant that the artist, Ashley Wood, has Big Boss completely in shadow here. It says a lot about what Chico must be feeling, and how we (the audience) might be meant to interpret him. There is none of the silly dork we know Big Boss to have been a decade prior. There is none of the innocence and even almost child-like awkwardness he was so beholden to. So much of his optimism, his original outlook and hope, is eradicated by this point.

Chico, I’ll note really quick is never seen off-radio. He is kept ‘safe’ (if you can call it that) on the MSF base itself. And working as radio support. I’ll note too that Chico always wants to be seen as an ‘adult’ by the people around him. But, come on. I’m sure we all remember being 13. I’m sure everyone had that ‘I am desperate to be mature and taken seriously’ awkward teen phase. That doesn’t change the fact that he’s still a child, who is stealing Amanda’s cigarettes one moment, and laughing about his favourite monsters and cryptids the next.

It’s no more justified (in my opinion) than Huey Emmerich is when he uses the absolutely pathetic reasoning behind letting a 4-year-old Hal pilot Sahelanthropus.

“He (Hal) wanted to get in!”-Huey Emmerich to Revolver Ocelot under torture. 1984.

What Hal may have wanted is irrelevant to the fact that you don’t let a kid touch a hot stove because they want to. It is on the adults around them to make sure they don’t do things they can’t control. Granted, Chico is old enough in Peace Walker to have very valid feelings about what he might want, and more than old enough for personal agency, but still young enough to where adults around him should be protecting him.

And I know that in war, the rules are not the same. I understand that. Later on we see a 12 year old Liquid Snake and child soldiers in situations no child should be in, but does that mean they still didn’t need protection? In any case, I’m too close to getting off topic here, so let’s keep going.

We will see him goofing off a bit more in Peace Walker. But it is important to note that by its end, Big Boss’ ideology, and his view on the world has shifted a lot.

He also comes to find out that Kaz was employed by Zero (now going by ‘Cipher’) and working as a spy. Marking the third time Big Boss is betrayed by someone close to him. In this, I’m sort of torn. My personal interpretation of the ‘spy Kaz’ bit is extensive and doesn’t quite belong here, but I’ll note that it’s another way in which Big Boss comes to find that he can’t trust anyone that it doesn’t matter how close someone is to him, they are going to find a way to stab him in the back.

He’s already become more and more cynical around this point, and it is not aided by finding out the truth about Kaz either. The cloud around Big Boss darkens all the more.

By the end of Peace Walker, Big Boss has come to learn what he thinks is the truth about the Boss. When she put down her gun (stopped fighting) she (in his mind) betrayed the ideology and beliefs that he feels she taught him, and when Big Boss ‘let’s go’ of her (in disgust, as he takes this to be an example of her betraying the will of the soldier, and him). I don’t fully grasp how he comes to this conclusion, but in letting the Boss ‘go’ (by removing her bandana) he shifts again, willingly keeping a nuke on Mother Base in the MSF (at Kaz’s suggestion, I’ll note) To Big Boss, I guess he might see this as the fourth betrayal.

With another metal gear defeated, Big Boss declares the following to the MSF:

"We have no nation, no philosophy, no ideology. We go where we're needed, fighting not for country, not for government, but for ourselves. We need no reason to fight. We fight because we are needed. We will be the deterrent for those with no other recourse. We are soldiers without borders, our purpose defined by the era we live in."-Big Boss to the MSF, after the Metal Gear ZEKE battle.

But this is not where that speech ends. Big Boss is under few illusions about the sort of man he’s become, and he tells his men much the same.

Fairly self explanatory, in my opinion.

Thus, the MSF becomes a nuclear power. And this is the mindset that Big Boss has when he goes into the Ground Zeroes mission at Camp Omega. Chico has escaped to go rescue Paz and Skullface has planned an attack on Mother Base while they’re gone. The inspection approved by Huey Emmerich (who didn’t ask Big Boss or Kaz first, and was apparently under the belief it was legitimate..and I don’t know if it’s true or not, I can never fully come to a conclusion there).

The base explodes, and while Kaz is seething and raging, Big Boss is left so shell shocked all he can do is sit motionless while Kaz shakes him repeatedly. Attempting to get any sort of answer from him. Answers Big Boss doesn’t give, nor does he have. After all, it’s not his fault the base went up in flames. The end result is the death of Paz and Chico, and the start of a 9-year- coma for Big Boss.

And, for the medic on that chopper, whom Ocelot and Zero turn into Venom Snake. Big Boss’ phantom and living body-double. Fully hypnotized, brainwashed and made into another man, all without his consent.

The creation of Venom alone is gregarious enough, but Big Boss didn’t sign off on Venom. He was already made by the time he wakes up in 1984. But aside from a moment of protesting it, Big Boss embraces it. Allowing Venom to wake up in a hospital that’s largely blown to shreds and turned into a massacre under XOF (Skullface’s unit), all so he and Venom can escape under cover. Countless people die in that hospital, and Big Boss has become arrogant and callous enough to where it doesn’t matter to him.

Ocelot is also the only one aware of the truth. (Someone Big Boss doesn’t seem to mind having that right, since up to this point, and the rest of his life, Ocelot is one of the few people who doesn’t betray him). Kaz, by contrast, has been completely abandoned and cast aside by him. And not told about Venom being a different man (until later). Which has a real element of cruelty in it, in my opinion. Especially since it’s Venom who saves Kaz after he’s been a POW for a while. But that’s another post in it’s own way.

Big Boss wakes up a new man, with a new (stolen) identity, and with his body double firmly in place and Ocelot pleasantly self-hypnotized to carry it out, he leaves to go begin the formation of Outer Heaven. Free to let others do his dirty work, while he continues to operate by himself.

Putting aside the fact that he looks damn good here-that isn’t the face of a guy with a whole lot of humanity left in him.

Remember Zero? Let’s go back to him for a quick moment. Because it’s at this point in the timeline that Big Boss begins to embrace a concept that was originally propagated by Zero when they were still all working together as the Patriots. By the early 1970’s, Big Boss had a pretty good reputation behind him as legendary soldier. And Zero believed it would be a good call to emphasise that narrative. It was beneficial to have Big Boss’ legend spread throughout, and continued. It’s also important to note that Big Boss himself rejected being called ‘Big Boss’ as he believed the title should only belong to the Boss.

In San Hieronymo, he’s called ‘Snake’ (much like his original codename, Naked Snake) and in Peace Walker the sandinistas often call him ‘Vic Boss’ as they compare him to Che Guevara (as does Kaz). The comparisons to Guevara do not end there, as historically, Guevara was most known for having several jobs under his belt, and being a key figure in the Cuban Revolution. Until his execution by the CIA in 1965. Personal opinions of Guevara are extensive and far beyond the scope of what I’m going to cover here, and will undoubtedly vary by person. Thus, I’ve left it as a link. He was a radical revolutionary in his lifetime, and is mentioned periodically in conjunction with Naked Snake, which paints a suggested idea of how some characters in-series viewed Big Boss as a person.

This being a good or bad thing, is again up to personal interpretation.

Either way, it’s notable (for me and I guess for the purpose of this essay) that up until the end of Peace Walker, Big Boss largely rejects the idea of being a figurehead, a martyr or particularly legendary. That is no longer the case in the 80’s. Where he is fully ‘Big Boss’ as we know him, and absolutely fine with leaving people in the line of fire (consent or otherwise) after a long coma, one too many betrayals, and the full disillusionment of his original beliefs at the hands of a lot of hurt, and years of pain and complicated warfare.

I don’t know that I’d consider Big Boss was ever a ‘humble’ sort of man. In the very beginning of his first mission we see him doing (the Halo Jump into the Virtuous Mission) he’s arrogantly smoking and ignoring the man telling him to put on his mask. But by the end of the 80’s he’s gone completely into the beast he and others created, arrogant and without care.

While Venom is working on the Diamond Dogs (who are also later transferred to Outer Heaven, while Big Boss himself operates Foxhound), he’s (at some point) reuniting with Frank Jaeger (now Gray Fox, at some point rescues and recruits Sniper Wolf, and building up Zanzibarland). By the 1990’s, Big Boss is kidnapping scientists, building metal gears, has children he saved on his base, and is nothing like the man we saw in the mid 60’s.

Hey, speaking of kidnapping, let’s go over how soldiers get ‘recruited’ to the MSF, Diamond Dogs (again yes I know that’s Venom), Outer Heaven, etc. Starting with the MSF, (but there was a taste of it in the San Hieronymo Incident), soldiers are knocked out and dragged back to the base. They’re left in the brig for a little bit, and come out completely and utterly loyal to Big Boss.

How loyal?

“We live and die by your order, Boss!”-Diamond Dogs infected with the Vocal Cord Parasite mutation, just before being mercy executed by Venom Snake.

That loyal.(Again, it’s best to operate when talking about Venom Snake in this specific case as if he and Big Boss are one in the same, because it’s not exactly about the man, but the situation, the cult for lack of a better word, of Big Boss). To these soldiers, who they are as people doesn’t matter as much as what the Boss demands. It’s that same energy, that mindset, that had Venom Snake (then the Medic) throw himself in front of a flaming chopper to save Big Boss’ life.

And where Big Boss might’ve questioned that sort of thing beforehand, by the time of Diamond Dogs, Outer Heaven etc, it is fully embraced. It’s fine that he’s got another man doing plenty of his dirty work (without his consent). It’s fine that he left Kaz because Kaz hurt him and betrayed him and he doesn’t deserve to hear otherwise. It’s fine that thousands die in a burning hospital to save his own life.

And then it’s later ‘fine’ when a young Solid Snake (who doesn’t know he’s Big Boss’ son) is sent into Outer Heaven during Operation Intrude N313, to kill who he thinks is Big Boss, but is actually Venom Snake.

Venom Snake, who has now spent 11 years as Big Boss himself, who has one last mission to die. As Big Boss for Big Boss. Again. The tape to Venom is Big Boss at what I believe is one of his most arrogant moments yet. In it, he thanks Venom *sort of* for his work, and how he’s helped him build up their shared legend. A legend that later Big Boss takes all the credit for. Because Outer Heaven explodes, and the man is all but erased from memory. Absorbed back into Big Boss yet again.

For a man that wanted to create a nation where soldiers mean something, and are revered, Venom’s discarded pretty quick (and he never agreed to be there to begin with). I cannot say if the Medic would’ve agreed to become Big Boss if he’d even been able to, but I can say that it is hard to deny that he’s used as much as any other soldier. Because at this moment, Big Boss now believes that dying on a battlefield is the only way to go, and Venom should be honoured to be him. Or ‘them’ as Big Boss puts it.

“I am you, and you are me.This story, this legend, it’s ours. I cheated death thanks to you.”-Big Boss to Venom Snake.

And then Venom dies, all but forgotten. His purpose has been served. His job is done. He’s no longer needed. Him, nor any of the soldiers who die in Outer Heaven. With Solid mostly oblivious to the secondary layers happening below. (Big Boss has absolutely no issue using Solid, either. He’s past the point of caring). I can imagine someone telling Solid, “This guy used to laugh about eating glowing mushrooms that recharge his batteries” and being unable to believe it.

When Solid Snake faces down Big Boss for the second time in 1999, he is past the point of caring about anything that isn’t war. His speech to Solid in Zanzibarland before Solid defeats him is infamous, and sums up his general view of the world in a nice, succinct fashion for Solid (and the audience).

This is the culmination of decades of hurt, betrayals and the knowledge that he is a man built and bred for the war machine. Big Boss has come to a point where he’s suffered enough, experienced enough, that war is all he can understand. War is all that he can possibly care about. He has stopped being able to feel, to connect with people. He is hollowed out, hardened and fully embracing the man he’s turned himself into.

These are not excuses. Big Boss can be a victim of his fate and the war machine, and still not be in the right here. The two can and in this case I’d argue, do very much co-exist. As I said above, his ‘downfall’ was not a matter of tripping down some steps. It was a slow, consistent decline that eventually accumulated. Despite this, Solid does defeat him, and Big Boss is put in stasis for the next few years. Left quite literally on ice. Conscious, but trapped in his body.

Don’t YOU make your clone son kill your body double and use him almost as badly as others used you? No? (Solid Snake and Big Boss, Metal Gear Solid 2, Yoji Shinkawa)

“I never saw you as a son. But as a man, a soldier.”-Big Boss to Solid Snake, 2014

We know how this story ends. Big Boss spends a bunch of time on ice, gets re-fitted with body parts taken from Solidus’ and dies of the new Foxdie virus (which also kills Eva and Ocelot, just like it did Liquid before) in the same cemetery where most of it started. Leaning up against the Boss’ grave. Aware that he spent decades misunderstanding her will, and that he never quite got it right in life.

How then, would I wrap this up? Well, I guess you could say that I’ve cheated a little. Because I never truly answer the question, “how does Big Boss become evil”, did I? I suppose some of it’s because, as I summed up earlier, I just don’t see it as such a simple case. I do believe that we’re all meant to have our own interpretation, at the end of the day, and the easiest way to summarise it might be that a man becomes so enmeshed in the war machine, that he turns into the very machine himself.

Big Boss had child soldiers (but did the kids fight?). Big Boss used, and abused many people (and was used and abused himself). Big Boss created PMC’s (with help). Big Boss had nukes (at the suggestion of others).

Etc, etc.

At the end of the day, I’ll conclude this long, rambling spiral of thoughts to say that the moment Big Boss ‘turns’ is up to interpretation. Which may seem like a cowards way out, but is it not true? Whenever I pose the question, I see many different answers and responses out in the wild.

This, therefore, is my own take on it. My attempt. And I know I’ve probably forgotten something (or many something’s) but I personally, will end here.

If you made it this far, congratulations! I cannot believe how long this got, and thanks for coming along with me.

By,

Nate

#big boss #character posts: big boss #mgs #request posts #user: qoppybirdie #thoughts posts #nates headcanons #this is 23 pages long send HELP #i knew id ramble but CHRIST #anyway i feel slightly mad but hey least my uni skills go somewhere fun

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