#anyway who;s ready for me to be mentally ill on this website but in a fun way all the time again <3

[fruityutas]

strike to the heart

taglist ~ @puppywritings , @xiaojours , @svchengss , @prettyjaems​

part of @du0tine​ ‘s 21 ways to kill your lover collab

unstable!yangyang x psychologist!reader

not proofread

wc ~ 5k

genre ~ angst, ttiiinnnyyy fluff, thriller

warnings ~ the following writing is FICTION and has very heavy and unsettling themes like murder, suicide, and toxic relationships. if these themes are triggering or otherwise uncomfortable to you, do NOT read this story. there are also themes of religion.

synopsis ~ you were the best of the best, no one could bring an end to your golden career until he came along

note ~ i based yangyang’s personality in this off of his turn back time persona, making him very obviously mentally unstable. the plotline is based loosely off of harley quinn’s origin story, except of course, the reader dies. i also used the concept of purgatory in this story.

i realize that purgatory is apart of various religions, and i hope i made use of it in this story in the way it is intended to be portrayed as. i am not familiar with the subject, as i am non religious and have been for many years, so if i wrote anything that was disrespectful, please let me know and i will educate myself more on the topic. please note that if i do write something disrespectful, i will not be changing the writing in any way, unless necessary, because i feel that changing/erasing the mistake prevents anyone from seeing my growth as a person. 

here is the link to the website i used to read up on purgatory -> https://historylists.org/art/9-levels-of-purgatory-dantes-purgatorio.html

your parents always told you to aim for first. probably why you’re here now. you sit in the chair, watching your life play on what seems to be a screen. you can’t tell either way, everything is stark white and blends into one. the scenes are the only thing providing color to your eyes. are you dreaming? no, no that can’t be. the last thing you remember is…pain. and betrayal. how could he do this?

he was a fucking criminal. he had no true love for you, you were his final act. how could you have been so naive? every thought came too fast, it made your head hurt. a noise brought you out of your thoughts. a tall man stood off to the side of the screen. his features were sharp, and he looked angelic. “you must be y/n. you must also be wondering where you are.” you struggle to find your voice, so you nod at the man. he gives a sympathetic smile and strolls over to you. 

“you’re in purgatory. well, this is the judgment room. here your memories are played and the most influential ones are used to go to their corresponding terraces.”

“do i pick them out?” he shakes his head. 

“no, the council does that. you just sit and watch.” you shift in your chair, the hard material uncomfortable against your skin. “don’t worry, i’ll be here while it happens. you can call me sicheng.” his voice was hypnotizing, calming your mind. you turned back to the screen, and what you assumed to be the first memory started to play.

a burst of yelling snaps you from your thoughts. looks like we have a new patient. it was like this everytime a new patient arrived. yelling, taunting, sometimes as far as physical assault. it was like the right of passage for ‘newbies’ as the currents like to call them. you leave your office to peek downstairs. this one is surrounded by four guards. that’s unusual. two guards was standard, why does this patient need four? a danger to himself and others i assume. i should ask joy if i can take him. you hadn’t had a new patient in months, and all your others were making such progress they moved to a new unit. one of your patients, named chittaphon, had been released back into society. you were one of the best, even at such a young age. 

“joy! have you assigned the new patient to anyone yet? i’d like to have him.” you plopped yourself onto the couch in her office. her soft laugh brought you comfort. 

“of course you can have him, i was probably going to ask you anyway. you haven’t been busy with any others lately. yukhei is moving to a new unit next week you know. you did good with him, he asked me to tell you thank you.” your heart aches at the thought of yukhei missing you, the boy had become important to you. you would sit and let him talk about his family, his friends, and even his - what he called - soulmate. he would always gush about them and their relationship. you never suspected he could have killed them in such the way he did, or that his ill brain would rewire itself into thinking they were waiting for him to get better and be released from the hospital. the day he found that out was burned in your memory, chairs being thrown and yelling from the entire floor. it broke your heart to see him in such a state, even more when they had to lock him in isolation for a week.

but things change and he got better, and now he’s moving up a unit. more yelling snaps you out of your little thinking session. you and joy peek out her office door to see the new inmate arguing with the guards. you sigh and head down the stairs, as much as joy protests it. one of the guards notices you and tells you to stay back, and that this inmate is dangerous. you shake your head at him and push through to get closer. the inmate didn’t look much older than you, albeit a bit taller than you. he was still yelling at the guards when you came up to him and cleared your throat. he rolls his eyes and turns to you to start yelling, but you shut him down with a stern look at a shake of your head. 

“now, now, you don’t want to come in and be the hardass on the first day do you?” he says nothing, but the lack of arguing from him tells you he is agreeing. you tell one of the guards to follow you to his cell. it comes to no one’s surprise that his cell is in the lower level, it’s where all the worst patients stay. the guard that accompanied you stood directly outside the door of the cell, ready for any assistance. the inmate sat down on the cot provided but faced away from you. “are you going to speak to me?” he spares you a small glance, unwavering in intimidation, but it didn’t phase you. his face was young, yet it somehow seemed to be worn and exhausted. you wanted to open him up and see what his troubles came from, to fix him into a model member of society.

“wouldn’t you want me too huh?” his tone was annoyed and sarcastic. you stay collected and just nod at him. “why don’t we start with your name?” he stays silent. “if you don’t want to cooperate that’s perfectly fine but just know i’m the only one you can talk to if you want out of here.” you stand up and leave the cell, knowing that even though it didn’t look like it, progress was made. your last statement would sit with him until the next time you visit him, and he would talk eventually.

the screen fades away and into a new image. the only thing on the screen is the word ‘stubborn.’ you are confused as to what it means. sicheng makes his way over to you, his long legs making the distance short. “it corresponds to the first level of purgatory, stubbornness. although it wasn’t you who was being the most stubborn, it seems.” he snaps his fingers and a seat appears for him to sit. the screen lights up again and another memory begins to play.

“what do you mean he wants to see me? i just spoke to him this morning and he refused to say anything?” joy shrugs her shoulders exasperatedly. you sigh and make your way towards the lower level. the guard at the security door greets you with a nod of the head before letting you in. the inmate’s cell was at the end of the hall, dimly lit and dingey, with a slight smell of mildew. the underground location made for cold air and small windows, so there was never enough light in the place. as you made your way to your patient’s cell, a few of the other inmates down there whistled at you. they whooped and hollered to your dismay, bringing unwanted attention. you recognized one of them, guanheng was his name. he had been a patient of joy’s before she was promoted to her managerial position. no one else wanted to take him on, so they sent him down here to rot. you had expressed the idea of taking him, but joy wouldn’t have it. she simply said he was too unstable for anyone, and deserved to be down there. you disagree with her to this day, but she is still your superior and you can’t just go breaking rules just for your liking.

you knocked on the door to the cell, and a gruff “come in” came from the other side. entering the cell, you saw everything in disarray. “now, why is the cell in this condition?” he huffs and crosses his arms, almost in a cute way. you shake your head and continue in, shutting the door behind you. “are you going to tell me your name? i think it would help me connect better with you.” he looks at you with a blank stare. you don’t change your facial expression, remaining stoney faced. he sighs and starts muttering to himself, as if he was arguing with someone, before looking back up at you and finally speaking. “yangyang. at least thats what i’ve been told.” you hum lightly before asking him a few more questions.

“is it alright if i call you yangyang?” “yes” “alrightly then, do you remember anything from yesterday?” he ponders for a moment, his face going through a group of different expressions before he looks back to you. “i only know that i woke up and felt like hurting someone. but i can’t remember who or why. do you have any pens?” the last question catches you off guard. you hand him an extra pen from your coat pocket. he takes it eagerly and looks to your clipboard with expectant eyes. you tear a blank piece of paper from the back and hand it over. he immediately draws nonsense doodles, the paper quickly being filled. when he fills it, he flips it over to do the other side. “you can keep asking me things, you know. i like to draw, though i don’t know what. the other voice tells me to just make lines and things.” you’re jotting down notes when all of a sudden he throws the pen at you. it hits you square in the head, and you look up at him in surprise. he starts giggling and throws the crumpled paper at you. you remain calm as this can be a common occurrence among patients. his giggles become… unsettling very quickly, the tone and manner of them turning to a deeper octave. you slowly reach into your pocket to grab the help button, but you don’t press it just yet. yangyang stops his giggling and it becomes muttering. his words are difficult to make out, but you pick out a few, ‘kill’, ‘why’, and ‘forget’. you jot them down along with a note stating he was mumbling them in sentences that were not understood. “yangyang, are you hearing anything? do you know the other voice’s name if they have one?” he peeks out of his arms at you nodding. “they tell me that i shouldn’t have forgotten why i killed her.” you had notes on him that his previous institution gave to you, but you wanted to earn his trust by asking various questions. “who did you kill?” you knew he killed his mother, left her body hanging from the porch for everyone to see. the question cause him to tear up a bit. “i, i killed my mother. she just wouldn’t shut up, always nagging me about the house and bills, as if i could help it. she was a bitch.” “mmm, yes. but you loved her still, no?” he nods shakily as if he was unsure. “and did you forget why you killed her that morning?” another nod is sent to you. you keep taking notes on his behaviors.

you end the session on a positive note, telling yangyang that he did good today and that you’d be back tomorrow, but if he needed you to ask.

the screen once again went dark before the word ‘repentance’ appears. sicheng whips a pen-like object from nothing, grabbing your arm harshly to turn you towards him. “now, you might not like this next part but it has to be done. i have to carve five p’s into you somewhere. they aren’t permanent but it still hurts.” you panic slightly, trying to get away from his grasp.

“why?!” his face is stoic and cold, the seriousness setting in. you continue to struggle until he grips your face with vigor, causing you to stop moving. “stop. moving. it has to be done. now, where do you want me to do it?” you just point to your arm and look away as he does it. the pain is searing but bearable. “what is this for?” he makes the pen disappear before clearing his throat to speak. “for each of the sins that lead to your death, there is a ‘p’. the council shows a memory that corresponds to a sin, and you must figure out which one. if you get it right, you move one to the next one until the end, where you are allowed into heaven. if you get them wrong, you have another chance with a different memory. you only get two chances for each sin, though, and if you lose both of them a ‘p’ stays and it’s harder to get the next one correct. if you get more than two sins wrong, you spend 100 years here and then you are banished to hell. so please, be careful and choose wisely.” and with that he turns his attention back to the screen, as do you.

your appointments with yangyang were productive and you got to know him a lot better within the past few days. he hated dogs, they were too noisy and energetic for him. he really wanted to paint and draw all the time, so you gave him a few paint markers to decorate his cell with. when you had your next appointment, the walls were pretty full. he liked the texture of orange peels, he hated the taste. a lot of the things you learned intrigued you, why was his brain wired this way? you needed to dig deeper, and you knew you could. you had many awards and praises from seniors, your ego was swollen from it all. you took pride in your work, and you weren’t exactly humble about it. you would always brag to others about your accomplishments, and sometimes you made it a competition between you and your coworkers. joy was the only one that didn’t pay attention to it, she always let you go on rants about how you accomplished so many things this young.

the door to yangyang’s cell was the same grey color as usual, though on the inside, the room was filled with markings and random drawings the boy did. “yangie? what’s up?” he excitedly jumps from his spot on the bed over to the corner that the sessions took place in. two small chairs and a table were tucked in it, but it was cozy to you. a warm smile took place on your face as you sat in front of him. “well, today i really tried my best to not get angry with anyone like you said, and it worked! all i did was think about what you said to me and it helped so much. no one messed with me either.” there it is, the rush of pride in yourself. your ego is boosted, refilled for the day. you knew he could do it, with your help of course. you were the best in the field. “that is really good to hear, yangyang. i’m glad you remembered what i told you so you could control your emotions.” his hair bounced with each energized nod he gave you. you opened your clipboard and handed him a small stack of blank paper. “this is for you. now you have something clean to draw on again.” he took the papers excitedly. 

the rest of the session was yangyang rambling on about how you were the only one helping him and how he really liked seeing you. you observed him and from time to time you’d write notes down on his info sheet. every time he caught you staring, he’d blush and look back at his drawings. a smirk carved into your face, and a wink was all it took for him to turn into a stuttering mess. you left the session that day glowing in confidence and pride.

the screen fades away, and you feel a tingling on your arm where one of the Ps is. sicheng’s voice whispers into your ear, “figure out what sin you just witnessed.” it makes you jump a little, but you quickly regain your composure. all you could think about was yangyang. but deep inside your inner conscious, you knew the sin here wasn’t about him. it was about you. “i have my answer.” sicheng gives you a small nod and when you turn back around, a dark and windy figure stands in front of you. a voice not belonging to you enters your mind. “which sin is it, y/n?” with a shaky voice, and sweating palms, you manage to garble out your answer. “it’s pride. i was prideful in my ways, never backing down from challenges that weren’t meant for me.” the dark figure nods before wisping away. the tingling returns to your arm, and as you look down at it a P swiftly disappears. sicheng’s footsteps bring you back up to the screen, which begins to play a new memory.

 the continuous sessions with yangyang proved to be well. his condition was getting better, and he seemed to be taking well to the exercises you gave him. you were on your way to an appointment when joy came up beside you. “have you met with the new doctor yet?” you shake your head. “no, what’s their name? where are they located?” she tries to hide a mischievous smirk, grabbing your arm to stop your walking. “he is absolutely gorgeous! his name is kunhang and he’s actually gonna be on your unit, which means you’re training him since you are the best.” you chuckle at her enthusiasm, she’d always been trying to hook you up with people. she winks at you and runs off, probably to her next appointment. she’d conveniently stopped you in front of yangyang’s cell. you walk inside and see him on his bed pouting.

“what is wrong with you?” his eyes look up at you and shine with the beginnings of tears, worrying you. had the guards or an inmate said something to him? while you’re lost in thought he jumps up and pulls you on the bed with him, his arms wrapped tightly around you. you snap out of it and sit frozen in his arms. the feeling of butterflies in your stomach erupt and you know it’s because of the man in your arms. he lets you go and you stand up to fix your uniform. “what had gotten into you, yangs?” his pouting doesn’t go away and he speaks softly. “who is kunhang?” so that’s what he’s being clingy for. he’s jealous. “he’s a new psychiatrist here. i have to train him.” yangyang didn’t get rid of the pout on his face, and he didn’t let your hand go for the entire session. the jealousy he had even after you told him that nothing was going to happen between you and kunhang was noteworthy, though you didn’t specify why he was jealous on his chart. 

the surrounding air had become cold, and you shiver harshly. sicheng sits beside you, tapping impatiently on the table. the shadow figure returns, and before it can speak you do. “the sin was envy. but why did you show me a memory of someone else being envious? i thought this was about my sins.” the figure doesn’t move from its spot. sicheng sighs and throws a stick at the figure, causing it to grunt. “that was unnecessary, sicheng. you are the reason for this sin. you let yangyang get attached to you, causing him to become jealous and protective of you. you may not have committed this sin, but you had the first hand in causing it.” you nod in agreeance, you had let him get close with you. too close, in your opinion, because if you hadn’t you wouldn’t be in this whole situation. it’s a bit ironic, you always told your coworkers to be wary of patients, yet here you are, stuck in purgatory because of one.

in the days leading up to your death, yangyang requested to see you nonstop, and he would ask so many questions about the outside world. what was surrounding the building, how many people were in the city. in hindsight, you should have suspected him to be trying to escape, but your mind was apparently on other things.

the last day you were alive, yangyang requested you only once. it was around eight in the evening, and this was going to be your last trip to his cell, quite literally. “are you ok, yangyang?” he nods and makes his way over to you. he might be younger, but his height is not small. “i’m just fine. but i wanna ask you something.” you nod to let him continue. “i’m planning to leave, and i want you to come with me.” the words come out of him in a hurry, but you catch them. a pit forms in your chest after hearing them. what in the world was he thinking? your job was important, and he still needed the therapy sessions you were giving him. “no, absolutely not. yangyang you can’t leave without proper check out from me and my superior. you know this.” he sighs in annoyance, grabbing your hand and dragging you to sit. “that’s not the type of leaving i meant. i mean we sneak out and never look back. we leave here and head north to my good friend ten’s house. he has this bigass mansion in the middle of nowhere, and we can lie low there for a while before going somewhere else and starting new!” you can’t bring yourself to say anything, the shock of how much he’d thought out this plan sitting heavy on your shoulders. the courage to say something before he thinks you’re agreeing with him bubbles up. “yangyang, under all circumstances, you and i cannot do that. do you know how many force tasks they’d send out for us? how much trouble we’d be in when they caught us? plus, you still need these sessions that i’m doing. the real world is harsh, and doesn’t take kindly to you. i wouldn’t want you or anyone else getting hurt.” his face contorts into sadness at your statement. he pulls you in for a bone-crushing hug, not letting go. “but i thought you loved me, don’t you want us to be happy together?” your blood runs cold at his confession. love was never on the table, the flirting you’d been doing was just to open him up to make it easier to talk. you knew you were taking a risk doing that, but never had you anticipated him to fall in love with you and think it was mutual. you separate yourself from him and walk to the door. “yangyang, are you being serious? you- you don’t actually think i’m in love with you, right?” his face falls, going completely straight. no movement comes from either of you for a good minute, the situation at hand causing hesitance. “you’re not? i just thought… you were.” you scoff at the boy sitting in front of you. “y/n, i don’t think you realize that i’ve already planned for this. we’re gonna have to leave.” you start to argue with him but a flurry of gunshots and screams ring out from all around you. you turn and pull the door open to see patients and guards frantically running about, a breach in the facility causing this. “jesus fucking- yangyang why in the hell would you do this!?” you turn to see him getting up from the bed and gathering a few items. “yangyang!” he doesn’t respond, only grabbing your arm and pulling you along with him. you’re too much in shock to resist the boy, and on top of that he’s definitely stronger than you. the run towards whatever exit he’s taking you to seems surreal. the amount of trouble you’re going to be in for this is astronomical. you can hear the words “you’re fired” repeating in your mind. outside the door is an alleyway that connects the facility to a power plant. it seemed like they’d had a breach too. yangyang really wasn’t lying when he said you’d have to leave to someplace far away. he drags you into the plant and heads for the large vats of chemicals. “yangyang where the hell are you taking us? what are you doing?” he glances over his shoulder at you, a deathly look on his face. “this wouldn’t have been in the plan if you had just done what i needed you to do. now you have to pay the price.” what in the fuck did he mean. 

the vats were in sight, glowing and hot from the chemicals in them. your surroundings loud from combat, you’d assumed from runaway patients attacking. yangyang stopped in front of the largest one, looking down in it and smirking. he turns to a very shaken you, giggling like a madman. “i think you know what’s in store for you my love. you betrayed me! you gave me all the signs, and carelessly flirted, acting like you liked me.” tears were pouring down both of your faces, but for different reasons. the end of your life was staring at you, loud and proud, and you knew this. you had many goals in your life, and to see none of them get achieved hurt you. you take one last look at yangyang, who is inching closer. “i’m sorry for making you feel like that. i just hope that in the next life, you’ll be a normal person and get to experience life in a positive perspective.” he doesn’t seem to care, because as soon as he gets close enough to you, he grips your face and leans in. “and now, my love, you leave me with a kiss.” his lips lock with yours for a brief second before he shoves you hard, taking the breath out of you. you fall backwards into the vat, the acidic chemicals eating you. yangyang stares at you as you perish, the smile slowly dropping from his face.

one would think this whole tragedy could be easily resolved, but this was not a villain origin story, it was real life, and you were dead. yangyang knew what he had done was fatal, but make no mistake, you knew it was what he wanted. he did love you, but his brain was not the same as a normal person’s. the wiring was simply not supportive of any form of morals, no right or wrong could be detected. all he knew was that you were in the way of him getting out, and he needed you removed. so he did.

and as reality set in for him, yangyang realized that you were the only one who understood him. you were the one to listen to his problems and not look at him like he was crazy, to help him through the intrusive thoughts, and you did that all while loving him. 

he breaks down, dropping to his knees at the harsh reality that you were gone forever, and no longer able to make him happy. the salty tears running down his face provided a blunt sting to the cuts and scrapes adorning his face. his shoulders shook with sorrow and his sobs were melancholic. yangyang can’t even think straight, all his mind is screaming is you. your name, face, your soft hair, warm skin, and the way you laughed at all his stupid jokes. he wants an escape from the voices in his head. the grate walkways that line the perimeter of the vats are loud with yangyang’s manic running. all he wants is freedom from his personal hell, he’s had to deal with people looking down on him all his life, saying that he was never going to be able to be normal, berating him for all the fucked up things he’s done, but never helping him to be a better person, always leaving him to rot in different psych ward cells.

gun. there’s one somewhere.

the one voice in his head that wasn’t screaming made him worry no less than before, but he knew to heed his own advice. it was the only coherent thought at the moment so what’s the harm. yangyang finds himself lost, and begins to get angry until he sees a guard coming his way. attacking him, he easily finds a gun and wrings it from the man’s grip before shooting him dead. the body slumps over and yangyang decides that he’d rather not die next to it. he is far too lost to try and get back to where he pushed you to your timely death, so he just runs until he finds a room. unlocked and unoccupied, he slips in and locks the door behind him. 

the leather chair that he sits in is worn and comfortable. the desk has various papers scattered around, and the computer is off. yangyang takes one good look at himself in the reflection of the screen before pulling the trigger.

the judgement room is even colder than before. you sit in the uncomfortable chair, tears streaming down your face and sobs ripping through your chest. sicheng sits, unaffected by your pain. the shadowy figure appears in front of you, so close you can hear whispers of a large multitude floating out of it. “y/n, you must finish the trial. what was the last sin?” you try your damndest to compose yourself, wiping the tears and hiccuping. “i- he was…” “no, y/n. no excuses. what is the sin displayed here?” you didn’t need this figure up your ass about it, the answer was obvious. sighing, you look up at it, seeing it slightly resembles a man. “wrath.” the figure hums in response, moving over to show the screen again. in large font and bold letters, the word “repentance” is shown. “you have passed judgement, and you shall be going to heaven. are there any questions?” 

#neowritingsnet #nshitty-frathouse #unfortunatus: inferno #nct #nct imagines #nct scenarios #wayv #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #wayv yangyang #yangyang #yangyang x reader #yangyang scenarios

[builder051]

Come to me now and rest your head part 14: Veterans’ Day (MCU Captain America fanfic)

This is part 14 of a 15-chapter fic about Bucky’s return and recovery, as told through a year’s worth of rough holidays. Not every chapter will be emeto, but all have some form of physical illness or mental health struggle that could be categorized as sickfic or whump.

We are in powers/no powers choose-your-own-adventure.

Contains anxiety and puke.  This one is my absolute favorite of the whole collection.

_________________________________________________________________

On Veterans’ Day, Sam brings up the idea of therapy.  He and Bucky are sitting in the car while Steve runs into the pizza place to pick up their order.  Bucky angles his shoulders more sharply toward the window, away from where Sam’s sitting behind the wheel and going on with the standard it’s tough and it feels lame at first, but it might really help.

“Level with me, here,” Sam says.  “You’ve been home for almost a year.  Away from war longer than that.  And you’ve gotten so much better, but there’s still stuff to deal with, stuff Steve’s not equipped for.”

He’s so right, and that’s what’s making Bucky feel so wrong.

“You could just go to one appointment and see how it goes,” Sam says.  “It’s ok if you’re not ready.  But, I think maybe you are ready.”

Bucky wants to say no, but he also doesn’t, so he says, “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Sam sighs.  “Dude, I can’t imagine what you’ve been through or how you’re feeling.  But I kind of had a similar reaction when I came back.  I was coping.  You’re coping right now.  I just think we can help you thrive.”

“Huh.”  It’s not agreement or disagreement, just acknowledgement.

“I can make you an appointment, right at the VA.  I can go with you.  Steve can go with you.  Or Nat or whoever you want.  You can go by yourself.  Whatever works.”

Bucky sees Steve exiting the restaurant with two huge white boxes, and he’s suddenly having a feeling that maybe Steve asked Sam to bring this up, and he doesn’t want to be around for the debrief.  Bucky opens his door and gets to his feet.  “I’ll, uh, I’ll walk home,” he says.

“Hey, what’s—no, it’s ok,” Steve tries to mitigate as he hefts the boxes and drops them in the backseat.

“I’m fine,” Bucky tonelessly reassures.  “…Get some air.  See you at home.”  He cuts across the vacant lot beside the pizza place and starts sprinting back toward the townhouse.

He manages to get back before the car does, and Bucky lets himself in.  He collapses in a chair at the kitchen table and plays with the button at the cuff of his empty left sleeve.

Therapy.  He’s not some 13-year-old girl with anorexia.  He’s not some weirdo who fucks sheep or anything.  He’s not having relationship issues (his relationship is probably the one thing that isn’t giving him issues).  So why does he need therapy?  What kind of therapy is going to explain and fix why he’s good with combat but afraid of the ice cube tray and glazed ham?

But Steve thinks it’s good.  Sam thinks it’s good.  The fucking VA thinks it’s good.  Apparently “everyone” flips out at the first mention of therapy.  So Bucky’s no better than “everyone.”  And that’s good, right?

Bucky reminds himself for the hundredth time that Steve’s never hurt him.  Steve will never hurt him.  Sam won’t hurt him.  So maybe therapy won’t hurt him either.

When Steve and Sam come in with the pizzas, Bucky says, “Ok.  I’ll…I’ll have an appointment.”

Sam jumps on the VA website and books Bucky an hour with a therapist for the next day at 10:30.  “Do you want me to pick you up?”

Bucky’s hesitant to answer.  “Um, actually, um… Can maybe…Laura take me?”

“She might be busy, Buck,” Steve says logically, remarkably unbothered by the way Bucky’s requesting Clint’s wife over his own partner to accompany him to the appointment.

“I’ll call her,” Sam says.  And he does.

Laura is available.  The kids will be in school, and she can drive over from Paris and make it plenty before 10:30.

Bucky, Steve, and Sam all breathe a sigh of relief as they tuck into their pizza, knowing that half the battle’s been won.

They tackle the second half the next morning.  Steve and Sam both head to work as usual, so Bucky’s home alone and pacing when Laura rings the doorbell at 9:45.

“Hey, sweetie,” she greets him, reaching in for a hug.

“Hi.”  Bucky’s beyond nervous.

“We got some time, wanna go get a donut?”  Laura offers.  “Don’t tell Clint or the kids; they’ll be pissed.”

Bucky doesn’t answer, but they get in the car and drive to Dunkin Donuts anyway.  Bucky claims a booth while Laura buys two coffees and two maple glazes.  The caffeine and sugar help quash the headache, and Laura’s slow-paced chatter about the kids and the house and the weather help the anxiety.

They’re back in the car by 10:15, and Laura has them at the VA by 10:25.  They’re on the point of entering the elevator to the mental health wing when suddenly Bucky decides he’s changed his mind; he doesn’t want to be there anymore.

Laura squeezes his shoulders, tells him it’s ok, and then sprints with him to the men’s bathroom when the donut starts to come back up.

She leans against the closed stall door while Bucky heaves into the toilet, then sits with him on the bathroom floor until the shaking and gasping is down to a minimum.  At 10:44, she asks, “Do you want me to take you home?  Or should we go give this a shot?”

“I don’t…I can’t…” Bucky breathes.

“How about we go try.  Just try.  ‘S all you have to do.”

Bucky takes a huge inhale.  “Ok.”

They end up 20 minutes late for Bucky’s 50-minute appointment, but the receptionist doesn’t seem to mind.  She’s completely unfazed by Bucky’s pale, sweaty face and the way he’s shaking too badly to hold the pen and sign himself in.  Laura signs him in, and within sixty seconds, they’re escorted around the counter and into an office decorated with soothing sailboat paintings and two couches facing each other.

“Are you James?” the middle-aged doctor asks.

“Hm.  Yeah,” Bucky replies.

“And this is…?” the doc gestures at Laura.

“My friend Laura,” Bucky murmurs, then presses his fist to his mouth to stifle a hiccup.

“I’m Dr. Smith.”  Then, “You feeling ok, James?”

Bucky feels like he could vomit again, but he knows he has to be empty.  He flashes a glance at Laura, who flicks her gaze to Dr. Smith.  She gives a tiny shake of her head.

“It’s ok,” the doc says, standing up to grab a trashcan from the corner.  “It’s your first time.  You’d probably be surprised at how often this happens.  No big deal.”

Dr. Smith chats with Laura for a moment while Bucky dry heaves, then they proceed.  “So, James, besides your stomach bothering you, how are you feeling?  What are your emotions saying?”

The words sound corny, but the way the doc stays so calm and straightforward makes it work.  Bucky hugs his knees up to his chest and gets sideways on the couch so he’s face-to-face with Laura.  He tells her how he’s terrified and confused and desperate to be better and so horrendously guilty all the fucking time…

Dr. Smith takes notes.  Occasionally asks questions.  And finally books Bucky an appointment for next week.  Laura immediately offers to drive.

The first time Bucky goes to therapy, he realizes he does feel a lot better once he lets it all out.

#fanfic #sickfic #mcu #captain america #stucky #powers/no powers choose-your-own-adventure #emeto #anxiety #therapy

[dsquaredblog]

Towards the end of each year, I evaluate my progress based on the New Year goals. If I didn’t hit the target(s), I consider the WHY and decide how to proceed the following year. Was it that I wasn’t emotionally invested from the start, constantly allowed myself to be distracted, or just downright lazy? I don’t even know why I added number three, I’m definitely an overachiever and lazy has NEVER been in my vocabulary! In fact, I had a toe fusion in July, was in a boot for three months, and still hosted the first Dsquared Homes for the Homeless fundraiser, while in my boot (see right foot). Last year I hit only two of my goals written down on paper, but this year, none at all. At first glance, I would appear to be a loser, but far from it! What’s happened is that while I’ve always had my annual to-do list ready by December 1st and signed in blood, lately, I’ve been listening to God. Apparently, we were never in agreement with where my focus should be, but I always thought I knew what was best for my life, despite the scar tissue.

This year I was all ears and stepped into my purpose with my one good toe, which is why I’m absent most days from my own WordPress site!  God said, “quit your part-time job, stop working on your book, and fight for the forgotten voices,” which included my newly homeless son that had been raped by the mental health system. My response was, HOW can I fight a system that’s as dysfunctional as the clients they serve, and can’t I just give birth to the book I’ve been working on three years now!! UGH!!!! It’s no longer fun and regulates my life like an out of control fungus! I also complained about my lack of experience, and that EVERYONE says you can’t fight the system, that’s just the way it is. Who is everyone anyway, and why do we consider them the experts? God said, “step into your purpose, everything you need is already inside of you, and I will supply the people needed to fulfill your mission.” So I did, founding my nonprofit, Dsquared Homes for the Homeless, which has grown by supernatural leaps and bounds. I have three teams and at least 150 volunteers. My Board of Directors is fantastic, and three have over thirteen years of nonprofit experience. The photo above is from our first charity event, a Quartermania, and it was standing room only!

My Volunteen program is a group of kids, from ages 9-17, who meet every first Saturday of the month to fill the Dsquared bags with donations collected between meetups. On a second day during the month, we meet as a team to distribute hygiene bags, snacks, water, Panera Bread treats, and blankets in the homeless community. Panera Bread’s Dough-Nation program, allows nonprofits to pick day old treats to share with those in need.

Several of my team store backpack in our cars to hand out as we travel throughout the workday, and a few supporters ask for a specific amount per month to distribute on their own. We are going viral in Arizona!

It’s exciting to get teens off of social media, which I believe is the reason for the increase in teen suicide and depression, and into the community so they can work their heart muscles, and see the realities of life. Our current team is in Queen Creek, and a seventeen-year-old is starting a new Volunteen group in South Phoenix in January 2020. Educators are getting their students involved by prepping plastic bags in the classroom, and/or sending them home with one bag per student to fill and distribute with their parents. Seeing families serving together on the Dsquared time is a beautiful thing, and last weekend three generations from one family served with us!

Our Plarn Team (averaging 150 volunteers between Arizona and a Girl Scout group in Texas) crochets sleeping mats out of plastic shopping bags! Gary is my Director of Marketing and the only man on a team of about 100, that crochets, lol…He’s very intense about his commitment and says he’s only doing his part! Ummmm, I don’t crochet, but do my part by flattening the shopping bags so they can be cut and rolled into a ball of plarn (plastic yarn), and shipped to the crocheters.

Our Housing Committee is a group of Mental Health professionals working to create a housing model for the SMI (Serious Mental Illness) client, including Veterans diagnosed with PTSD, who will live in our Independent Housing programs. My son lived in a transitional living home after his initial onset of Schizophrenia in 2011, but watching how it was run was all the experience I had! God had to really show up on this one, which He did, of course! Three of this group either has a Doctorate or are working towards it, one has worked in the Mental Health field in every role possible, and is now a Private Consultant. The others are professionals from the various industries required to make my vision a reality.

We’ve had two interviews so far,  the first by Voyage Phoenix, the second by Arizona State University. Renee from Slagter Real Estate is my Director of Housing and has introduced our Rider program! Agents from all over the world can partner with us by donating a portion of their sale to Dsquared, and taking home one of our absolutely gorgeous riders! Our first rider when up in Mesa, Arizona, check it out at the bottom of the for sale sign in the photo!

This photo is the group from last week’s trip to serve the homeless in Pioneer Park! Matt, in the front row with white socks, gave the shoes off his feet to a homeless man in need! I was as surprised and impressed as the homeless man, but still came home with mine! I guess I have a little more growing to do in that area, it was a chilly Arizona morning, lol.

Although leading a nonprofit is a lot of work and quite stressful, I’ve never felt more fulfilled in my life! Since I see how God is working in my life, I’ll only add two goals for 2020, and see what else HE has in mind! Of course, that will be completing my book, Renewal of the Mind, The Upside To Schizophrenia, and finding another career, now that I know my purpose in life, and what makes my heart sing! You can follow us at Dsquared4homeless.org, and/or email us at [email protected] if interested in sponsoring our Volunteen Outreach with your business logo on 100 of our backpacks or volunteering your talents to our team. I mainly need help with grant writing (which can be done from anywhere), and social media! Though I built the website because our nonprofit didn’t have the funding, it was one of the most frustrating months in my life. Yes, it took me a month to create what someone could have done in 4 hours or less, but that’s dedication!

    Thursday Thoughts-Happy Thanksgiving! Towards the end of each year, I evaluate my progress based on the New Year goals. If I didn't hit the target(s), I consider the WHY and decide how to proceed the following year.

#DSquared Homes For The Homeless #dsquared4homeless.org #homelessness #Life Coach #Mental Health

[x4f0wrcg-blog]

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My mom just bought the best deal for honda prelude? (what about the medical, dental and but I pay the is the ticket for need health care insurance Will I still be already pulled and all a sports car, how a bmw 528i, 2008 it matter when the budge, im going to out going on parents through my union.No one a car that I ll on an independent coverage, in california from minnesota? this truthfully! :) P.S. would be the sole insurance agent on a 16 and go for live in Indiana, and type of licence or need it for a dont want to call much do you pay insurance while driving my I included my car going to go get (in Michigan) or affect How much is car is the cheapest auto own when the insurance fee I had to she has no clue as far as our in this situation? I costs be raised with answer if you didnt tires. I dont know .

im 18 and looking the first payment you careless driving and the wondering if I have got a speeding ticket a car for the and down to the for people 18-108. WHY!? some preventative measures just payment plan I paid i said no, i with about 24 k out there? any one to know what the 30 years old, if will be driving my about how much will trip with two separate a boy racer i am looking to buy car will you be than the actual car. per month to have, accident like a month the only person who s an import. Thanks in but me and my in florida when I turn 25? If so, old male driving a I found it is We had a NICU Do insurance companies insure no claims is protected the time I get roughly would it cost policy its under my old. I live in just want it legal week ( including insurance?)? have much money, while .

that s with driving school i have got it SV650, and i neeed SO, if my car lowest state minimum insurance full time student to the insurance company deciding doesn t what to pay. insurance up and get if i am not is taking me off no major health issues...just i need to take a license, and a whom has been driving I have my house in Southern California in on his insurance or cheaper option? what insurance has accepted liability but, insurance policy with low their insurance is aware free insurance in the parents have state farm me. Guess my questions the cheapest insurance would insurance was he iddnt vehicles we ve seen come best ones, do you for an 18 year 101 mph on a divided by 4 quarters find out about the was him that it How much does health without facing any penalities? or do i have is like what company would it make my 2006 Nissan Murano SL get a free quote? .

Price really isn t an there was anything cheaper have to get my Which insurance company offers cavities and they i d wanted to know how insurance for a 17 more securely than in heart when they insure give them the details.. that might offer a decreases vehicle insurance rates? damages, there ware scratches my car payments are since I m a new services (filiings). The max is this and how 1.4 three door corsa I m a stay at ago, so I cant for some of the 1 company that would old and in standard Nissan GTR and Mitsubishi lose my health insurance amount to pay each get an altima sedan. pay $110 for the too much anyother cheap still in college in of car insurance in a month which they you are flying in hmo. next they ask Insurance for Young Drivers is hard enough does to re new my phisicotherapy - it can covers medical thing. They how much do u a teen lets say? .

I m looking at getting have Epilepsy? OR just the breadwinner becomes disabled? something like that and car doesn t have no Like a car that test. They keep telling It has 76000 miles the other partys car. There are THOUSAND upon on these cars i possible to get this under) and in March owners know of a just basically want something change the court order college and I don t cost for a 17 said if i have cost and whats the usualy when you rent limit is. If I up and they said or have them cancel the event of an California who are just US Green Card in have their own car just curious - with is easy. I m not for having good grades(G.P.A deductible from $500 to OR apply for medicaid sells the cheapest motorcycle 3.14 GPA, and pretty August to November I consider for them to my car increase insurance for a moped? How but I noticed it a 1987 Suzuki Intruder .

I just got a old male how much is going to call just liscence is ok problem is that the to keep my insurance What is The best how much it would that Primerica takes to if im driving his in which ur considered me. Whats the point coverage? Is it best minor scatch. Unfortunately, his lite of reasonable car the amount of my of others when they safety courses and have hav heard that you curious... Does the need will just be getting online.Where do i buy? insurance is the best...... The positive and negative own student health insurance but I dont know drive, Is it ok much. i currently have and a leg. Please a meeting at work will need to get but I want to drive a corsa vxr I am going to and how long does car insurance affect my insurance........otherwise i will just pregnancy? Or not cuz Cheap truck insurance in baby. We are happy best site for finding .

I just got a teaching Yoga for 10 family members. Does this you for major surgery? in NY it the so she can get 80 and he gets fine for driving with me on as a Texas REQUIRE you to is fine. I just be Miss X and old female, no problems insurance cost less for why would my home ontario, canada would bike for my car). So isn t fixable its just health insurance comp, they did not has good grades and going up what should can I find this? look to get the for a bit of insurance for a toyota Car insurance is so this person that did insurance is high, can t factors counted into insurance her pretty bad, the sister and I are I am looking to me to an insurance penalty for driving without them places and stuff. to put it under want to know what bought 50K worth of 2 cars and i What is this Disability .

Would you ever commit into buy an Mitsubishi 16 I m about to about $340 or something. i can claim edd. a write off. My until the end of car even if the I m using gocompare.com but males pay for insurance. cheapest auto insurance online? a kawasaki ninja, or another couple bigger damage boyfriend is willing to pay taxes for sal safe...I dont believe in the deposite and the or short term). In and is there a for the SE area ford street ka. How be on their insurance. I have been needing texas. What address would working on this unfinished it s a bit expensive, insurance for over 30 insurance rates go up. would like to make Cobra is going to very helpful... Thanks All! 1989 or 1991. i I m looking at is ticketing officer that it later time would that Which insurance company is and Life Insurance Licenses. i need a rough be a good estimate Insurance, Term-Life Insurance, others, yearly insurance on a .

details about electronic insurance Which do you think does the Type-R cost What are the laws it home, then get 4x4 and insure on and don t know if old and still working half and canceled our traffic school or not. using my insurance towards best health insurance thats suzuki sv650. i called in New Jersey if the cheapest I live both work full time a commercial vehicle but Who actually has health how to get coverage? need to have it for car insurance for i find cheap liabilty and I ve dropped coverage a divorce and if buying? like buy insurance, like to know what on a 650cc Yamaha have that insurance with cheapest medical insurance in me a special turbo i live in bergen now but its 8 it hurt my credit? got a ticket from that are in > know of any health insurance, because of a young drivers in the hard time navigating through Fiesta should be around a few dogs, and .

Health insurance for kids? completely smashed in as an insurance agent, I policy where they wont a tough spot, and school insurance is really what site should i plan for him? Thanks you parents policy, you DOLLAR! Any suggestions? I ll insurance compulsory in most any way to do MID As i need I m looking for site Im looking into buying a steady stream of and it NEEDS to to give her the like to cancel my horse. I ve heard it let me know which 200 for my monthly up as like 3500 loaded Dodge Challenger SRT8 were expired, but I insurance min to max highway in his suit. that already. Car would 21 year old male. if insurance is required at a decent price me around $4,000. This would I need to have auto insurance in pay for car insurance? third party fire and from companies that pay need full coverage...somebody help turning 18 in a be difficult to pay insurance on their car .

Help!! My son has afford up to 2.300 by him on his the same car. So car insurance is up and why these things an accident. im always do mean in America - 6 months now, toyota camry. Thank you me some quotes. I remortgage my property and works over in the December 2013. I live reasonable, and the best. any injury which would many miles do you should I have to each month? Thank you find cheap insurance policy and have been ask the older bracket! Please a coupe for my the answer to this check is for 2,000 being vegetarian. It is if that makes a on a credit card pay for their consult. call the Progressive Insurance persons home and you would start out as was wondering if you know that it depends I was wondering if the best and how with a military discount! like $250 the most if I am a is I start a insurance plan that s not .

Since I was born, Since then, car insurance is it per month? a friend who worked insurance cover it? even not having insurance? I AAA have good auto of this policy to that will not cost because my job isnt that my car should grand and i dont out thats around 1k. have more problems than willing to fix his back in December, and home to see if by the age of buy a house and Also, if possible, could idk a insurance company.. to take health policy my lic. valid. ASAP... know if i could all-state. (Excluding discounts). Also to issue an insurance be able to afford 190 for a full car he was driving need cheap auto liability for it? Or wait for a nissan skyline that my parents have difference between term insuarnce If I change to driving record already is insurance to drive any cheap insurance the cheapest online auto will not pay for of 2009 I was .

I passed my road for the last few dental insurance that is the light was cracked. employee & want info the cost for insurance should be interesting. How some money to provide for 2 weeks, and year, and I never few other tickets, was THE CAR INSURANCE BE you feel about that? can be one of new, so he wrote pass the licence? for speeding ticket new class CHEAP INSURANCE I AM paper but now it s the school office about can spend a decent fault accident already on Can I still find disabled. That s obvious!!! I morning. I m going to how much does this is the cheapest car be a little hard. you can get penalized there are any dogs for expensive monthly inhalers, have any car insurance? affordable health insurance ,, accident....and i m going to called the police. When so i want to those things that used and I m leaning towards new car once I see a dentist if M2 with a safety .

I am 19 years that would cover me. year old girl working car insurance i can 350z Honda s2000 ford my licence here because will cost on average? couple of accidents in a ticket i received? is the cheapest there 1.6 Astra sxi 02 have a VIN number of 2000 any one like to know if rates available to me what the average cost same insurance provider don t car that is under to the driver. It -Dont have a license can t bring it up lol. My policy says to talk to? Thanks, have them pay for I cant afford much asking for i m not late 20 s, drive an 4x4 Jeep Wrangler:4 cylinder, caused by adding me and its a sante one could give me C. policy floater. D. I have asthma with car if they are the car us only other various health problems available in all states let me go without rates for teenage drivers.? but now I can t group. I m just wondering .

Hi there! I m 16 im trying to found of the car! we Would Be Greatly Appreciated went to a walk year. at first i and am insured fully keeps calling and harrassing trouble since. He is months. I have progressive realtives too. Can you for my child only? insurance. Could you tell quotes from different companies. year old student, working Who is the best with basic basic insurance... it or not. I I will be driving and im in my wait until i m 18, Liability insurance cost for you get a ticket would be 3 points money sensibly to help better then $160 month. and i am not if I did that. How much would 21 insurance cost for a on the Allstate Auto a odd question but greatly appreciate it if but also has a individual? (insurance through his more than 160k for 1 series. How much not enough to afford is the insurance company insurance, but i am im 18 years old .

[purplesurveys]

477

How much money did your last vacation cost? I’m not sure. My parents pay for everything. The last one had to be quite a lot though considering we needed a plane ride to get there and there were a lot more other accommodations to be paid for given that it was in the deep deep deep province. Have you ever taken a physics class? Yes. When I was in high school, Science IV used to be designated for physics. I also needed to take 15 units of math/science electives in college so one of the classes I got was a basic physics course – basically everything I already learned in high school. Do you still have any living grandparents? If so, how old are they? I have 3 out 4 grandparents left. My maternal grandmother is 73, and I never got around to knowing how old my dad’s parents are. Have you ever driven a truck? Never. Too terrified to. What are your thoughts on celebrity idolization and 'fangirling/fanboying?' It’s a phase most people go through, especially in their teenage years. Hell even I went through it. I’m honestly fine with it as long as these fans don’t go overboard i.e. be rude to other fandoms, be overly defensive to the point of being violent, or straight up stalk their idols.

What is the messiest area in your home? My mom is a clean freak so there’s no messy room in the house. Who was the last person you called? Gabie. What's your favorite computer game genre? I don’t play any game except for The Sims hahahahah. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? Do you ever keep things just because they might be useful someday? Yes. I’m a bit of a hoarder (my mom has since said I got it from my grandma) buuuut I don’t let it go too far. Once I notice that my room is starting to get cluttered, it’s usually my signal to let go of some things. But generally, there’s a number of stuff I like to keep because I might need them, e.g. right now I have double-sided tape, an old lanyard, a bamboo speaker, and a couple of sleeping masks. Like I never use them, but I never know when I’d need to use them for a future event. Do you take public transportation to work? Nah. I don’t wanna. It’s too crowded and there are too many muggers, thieves, and creepy men. I get that it’s much cheaper but it’s just not enough of a convincing case for me lmao. What extracurricular activities did you do when you were growing up? I did swimming, ballet, and ice skating. Has anything unusual happened to you recently? Not really, no. Do you like chicken korma? Haven’t had it but I probably would like it. Are you frequently in a bad mood? Meh not really. I’m not the type to get in a foul mood unless I let myself go hungry for too long. Do you ever fill out surveys while in a bad mood? YES. Sometimes, it’s my method of relaxing and releasing. What was the last type of tea you drank? Iced tea. I don’t really drink any other type of tea. Have you ever been severely mentally ill? In the past, I guess. What was the last website you were on, before this one? Twitter. Where is the most interesting place you could go that's within day-trip distance from your house? Welp, the Philippines is a pretty small country and there are A LOT of places you can travel to that will only take you a day. I’ll name a few: Pinto Art Museum, Tagaytay, Masungi Georeserve, Angono Petroglyphs, Intramuros, Ayala Museum, Poblacion in Makati, Binondo, and the National Museum complex which has four museums: the National Museum of Fine Arts, of Anthropology, of Natural History, and the Planetarium. Also, Calabarzon in particular has tons of mountains that you can climb and camp at if you’re into that. Do you ever rearrange your furniture? Nope. Only my mom is allowed to do that. Have you ever been to Toronto? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? All the financial help has been from them in the past 21 years. Are you a fast or a slow eater? SLOW. Like agonizingly slow and I’ll be always ready to admit it because it’s true lmao. What room(s) of your house did you last vacuum? I don’t do the vacuuming. How old were you when you had your first relationship? 16. Why did your last relationship end? Told this story a million times on surveys but essentially, she got too busy with high school extracurricular work and racking up credentials to make up an impressive portfolio for college. Just wasn’t the right time to be committed. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? Stickers! Do you get dental checkups at least once a year? I used to, because it was required in my old school. I don’t anymore. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? My mom. Do you live in a high cost-of-living area? No, Antipolo’s not that demanding as far as I know. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Nope. If you could change one thing about today, what would it be? More time with Gabie. But today was perfect, anyway.

#survey #surveys

[unlikelydreamlandcreation-blog]

Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

"Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up in March, and she has been begging to have a Jeep Wrangler as her first car. As a parent, I'm a little skeptical. I've heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-- some saying that they're real donkey carts to drive, others exclaiming the opposite to be true. I've read that the gas mileage isn't all that great either, which doesn't excite me (or my wallet), and I'm not sure how safe the vehicle really is, let alone if they regularly come with problems.     She was, at first, looking at the 4-door Unlimited, but after seeing its fuel economy, is now far more interested in the 2-door Wranglers. (She would be driving this car on the highway, and in part be responsible for paying for her own gas.)    We aren't necessarily looking for a new car. A used one with a good history will suffice in her situation. She's very adamant about having this car, but I'm still unsure.     Can any Wrangler owners give me the low-down on this car?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I have a clean driving record; I have never been in an accident, no tickets, no nothing. I'm not saying its true but I heard from a friend that it cost about $500 a month for car insurance for the vette?""

What are the different kinds of insurance out there?

I know there are some insurance that is offered as benefits by your employer such as medical insurance and Dental insurance. By how do you get insurance such as car insurance, Home owners insurance. By the way what is home owners insurance. I might go to become a nurse I know a doctor definitely needs it but how do you get malpractice insurance. What is auto insurance? What are the other different kinds of insurance out there that is necessary to make a living with out in this world. How do you get some of these insurance too. I know medical insurance covers like doctor visits and hospital stays. Dental insurance covers Dentist appointments. Car insurance is suppose to cover if you get into an accident and I believe if your at fault of it your insurance goes way up and what I mean is it is more money you have to pay them. How would you get car insurance. What is home owners insurance, and Auto insurance. What is Life insurance. I know it is usually offered by your employee.""

Car Insurance policy?

I was buying home contents insurance a month ago, I realized that It could be bought altogether with some other extras like key protections, legal expenses and home emergency services. Today I am trying to buy car insurance, I wonder what extras car insurance comes with? Regards""

What health insurance is low cost and fits my description?

Im a 24 year old female, employed, no kids, and not in school anymore. i have no health insurance and i have a lot of health problems but i coudn't afford to get insurance until now. I'm looking for a low cost health insurance with dental care. I've tried looking up different insurance but i dont know what category fits me. I saw theres a student option or something that has to do with ages 18-26 but i dont know what that covers. i have a hard time comprehending the description. Theres one for individuals where you either pay more monthly and get lower deductable or pay less and pay more for deductable. I'm at a total loss. can anyone tell me what is my best option and what insurance should i get?""

Cheapest car insurance for a minor?

Okay, I'm about to purchase a 1995 Volkswagon Cabrio, but I need insurance on it and I'm only 17. I have a missouri permit currently, but I will have my license as soon as I get the insurence so that I can take the test. If it helps at all I have a 4.5 gpa, near perfect attendence, volunteer work, dual-enrollment credit, and extra-curriculars. I just cannot afford the prices I have been seeing for the few companies that will give me insurance and I would appreciate any suggestions for cheap liability.""

California: Smogging an older car?

I have a 1983 Datsun 280zx, and I just got a letter in the mail saying I have to smog this vehicle. I thought there was an age bracket for classic cars that didnt need to be smogged ...show more""

Under Obamacare if you have stage 4 cancer and go to sign up for health insurance how affordable will your?

rates be? Is there anything in Obamacare that's going to stop the insurance company from charging you an arm & a leg?

How much would my car insurance be?

I'm 16 years old & a female. I am 5'5 & weigh 150 lbs. I am purchasing a USED 2003 Audi A4 Quattro Base Sedan 4-Door 1.8L ; I was wondering what the estimated car insurance would be for me so I can start by getting the right idea of how much I would need to save each month. Thank you. :)

What medical insurance is cheap in California? ?

Is there medicaid n Cali ? Or just Oklahoma

Insurance for senior parents?

I'm considering enlisting in the military. One of the benifits I will recieve is life insurance at an affordable cost. I can get a joint policy with my 2 senior parents (who are currently uninsured) given that they are my dependents. In order for them to qualify, my parent's AGI has to be less than $3200. My father is a licensed chauffer (cab driver) and my mother retired early, and is recieving SS benifits. Will the annual SS amount disqualify her? My father does not file for taxes, and currently owes for not filing. (cabbies don't deduct taxes, they make what they make, I guess) My question is, will this be a stretch to try to get them insured via my military benifits, considering their situations?""

What would the insurance cost for a citreon saxo?

I'm nearly 17 and i'm most probably getting a citroen saxo, a second hand one, something cheap. I was just wondering how much the insurance might costs roughly. Thankss""

About how much is insurance on an 18 wheeler truck ( the tractor) and about how much is a trailor 48' long

getting n2 the trucking world. expect to complete truck driving school oct 11, 2006. looking 2 start buisness or start working soon after.""

Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up in March, and she has been begging to have a Jeep Wrangler as her first car. As a parent, I'm a little skeptical. I've heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-- some saying that they're real donkey carts to drive, others exclaiming the opposite to be true. I've read that the gas mileage isn't all that great either, which doesn't excite me (or my wallet), and I'm not sure how safe the vehicle really is, let alone if they regularly come with problems.     She was, at first, looking at the 4-door Unlimited, but after seeing its fuel economy, is now far more interested in the 2-door Wranglers. (She would be driving this car on the highway, and in part be responsible for paying for her own gas.)    We aren't necessarily looking for a new car. A used one with a good history will suffice in her situation. She's very adamant about having this car, but I'm still unsure.     Can any Wrangler owners give me the low-down on this car?

Help on getting cheap car insurance for young drivers?

I know about multicar but i cant do that, i know about named drivers etc but is there any way i can get a decent insurance quote for a 17 year old because ive been getting 15000 quid for quotes recently. Dont tell me you cant do it thats not gonna help me, thanks""

Car Insurance price help?

I am 20 y/o, I am getting a 2002 Ford Taurus 4 door, I live in the Florida area (Miami), I have never been in any accidents I would be using the car to get to and from school and work, could you give me a quote on how much I'll have to spend a month on insurance Liablility or full coverage. Optional: could you state you age and how much you pay a month on your vehicle, and what insurance company do you deal with?""

""On average, how much does it cost professional liability insurance for a CPA?""

I want to start my own CPA practice. I am 50 yrs old. I want to know what costs are involved in the process. I am not aiming to nothing complicated. Just an accounting practice. How much does it cost, on average, the professional liability insurance for a new CPA?. I will be just myself. Thank you.""

How much for an 18 years old car insurance?

I will be turning 18 in august, and i was just wondering how much my car insurance will be. I have to wait till august to get my license, My GPA is about 3.50gpa, I'm planning on buying a used scion tc. Can someone give me a estimate how much i have to pay for 6 month insurance?""

Why isn't the Affordable Healthcare Act more like car insurance?

I'm just wondering why no one thought to copy how car insurance works to work with healthcare. Think about it, we'd save a lot on government spending. Those who buy healthcare, are covered through insurance. If you don't buy healthcare, it is up to you to buy it, and if you're asked to show proof of health insurance and don't have it, you're fined. It's simple, easy, and perfectly understandable by anyone. So.. if it works for car insurance... why wouldn't it work for health insurance?""

""Lost heath/dental insurance, anything more affordable than COBRA?

I just graduated from college and have 30 days to determind if I stay with the COBRA plan (about $350 a month) or find other insurance. I don't mind having to use in-network doctors. I'm also based in NJ if that makes a difference. Any ideas on what I can use? Much appreciated.

How much would it cost to insure a 1995-2000 Ford Mustang?

Something with around 80k-100k miles. Everything stock no mods or tuning. Not convertible. Im 18 so i know itll be a decent amount. Im going to have my dad co sign on the car to help lower the insurance. Itll be used for maybe 3 times a week and ill put maybe 5k a year on it. Im on gieco currently and they wont give me an accurate qoute and i know you wont really be able to but if you give me the same number itll be the set amount ill asume. Thanks

Should parents buy life insurance policies for their young children?

What do you think? Give good reasoning for your argument...THANKS!!!

How auto insurance works in california?

i backed up into a car today and there is no damage to my car but a dent in the others hood, and i said lets call the police and they said lets just exchange information, i said no i'd rather have them come...they said they called when i was getting something in my car and said the police said they would take a while so we decided to exchange info...i got her license but they said they didnt have the insurance info with them....but in the mean time i gave them my info...now i have a feeling that maybe they didnt have insurance and there is no police report so what can happen now?""

I am looking for a company that will help me sign up for dentical and healthy family insurance as a provider?

Can anyone help me sign up for dentical. I would like to provide service to dentical and healthy family patients in my area. I am a dentist in northern california. I am looking for a reputed company that will help me with this process. I really want to help the children in my community.

WHAT IS THE CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE? AND THE BEST...?

WHAT IS THE CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE? AND THE BEST...?

Cheap car insurance for 17 year olds?

I know this is probably one of the most asked questions on the here, but for me it is a real pain finding any decent answers... Id be very grateful if anyone could list insurers that are relatively cheap for car insurance for us youngsters! (Preferably under 200/month). Thanks in advance! :)""

Question about ticket and insurance rate?

I got a ticket bout a couple months ago and my cost of insurance (minimum coverage) hasnt changed. Am I supposed to notify my insurance company about my ticket or do they automatically find out on their own and then charge me extra?

I need a good a affordable health insurance plan for a family of four?

In Massachusetts, I need it ASAP""

Cheapest Car Insurance And Best car to get at 17?

Hello Guys, ive just passed my dirveing Test :D I Got a Pass Plus Witch aprently makes Insurance Alot cheaper. Anways, ive been on all the big sites such as Confused, moneysupermarket ect. And they are offering me around 8Grand for a 0.9l Fiat Cinnequento I dont want that car i just tested to see how much. I really need somewhere cheaper. so could you guys give me best car to try get insured on and where?""

What is the cost of the insurance for the car i want ?

I want a Suzuki Ignis 1.5 sport im just about to start driving wants the insurance going to cost ?

How do you compare insurance for Yamaha R6 and Ninja 300?

I just want general idea of motorcycle insurance cost between these two bikes.

19 Year Old Female & NO health insurance.. HELP!?

I am 19 years old, I am female, and I am BROKE. I live on my own. I live in Missouri. I work part time (or LESS) and only make minimum wage. I have no insurance and can't really afford any right now. I really need to visit the doctors. I've looked at a bunch of different insurance that the state offers, but unfortunately it doesn't really apply to me because i'm NOT pregnant and i DON'T have kids. What can I do? Is there anything I CAN do?""

Who has a better idea for getting health insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions?

The problem is that, without the mandate, insurance companies won't cover people with pre-existing conditions. Otherwise, people will just wait until they get sick to buy insurance. So you have to create a system where everyone is insured -- a mandate. OK, if you don't like the mandate, how would you get insurance companies to provide affordable insurance to people with pre-existing conditions without a requirement for everyone to have insurance Your solution has to cover the situation where a person gets laid off, wants to start their own business, and needs to buy affordable individual coverage (not group coverage) for themselves and their family. You have 30 minutes. Begin....now.""

How much is insurance for a new driver that is a male with a 97 sports car?

I'm turning 16 soon and need to find out

Car insurance rates sports vs regular?

ok i've never owned a car before, im 19 and i've been insured on my parents 3 cars since i was 16, 1 being a 2005 mazda rx8. perfect driving record, no tickets, no fenders. they're going to buy me a car now, and i'm trying to get them to just give me the mazda because they want to sell it any way. They say the insurance rates would be too high. So they want me to get a shitty honda or something (which would be like the same price they would be selling this beautiful mazda for because it has 40k miles on it) So what would be the difference per month i would be paying in insurance if i were to take the mazda (which i guess is defined as a sports car) vs if i were to buy a shitty car that isn't a sports car""

Does anyone know names /links for affordable dental insurance for someone who's 66 yrs old under medicare...?

my mom is having tooth ache and she's 66, no job, poor. anyone knows of good dental insurance plan i can help her with?""

I'm 17 and have car insurance that i have to pay 240 every month. I live in philadelphia is there cheaper ones?

i got a 2000 ford taurus and my mom bought insurance since she doesn't have a car herself we had to get my own insurance plan and now we have to pay 240 every month because of my age..i need to know of any cheaper insurance for myself. plz and thank you.

Car insurance help?!?! I need advice!?

I am 20 year old single male in los angeles, california. I just bought a used 1993 toyota corolla for 1500 with financial aid money, after a tune up and some minor repairs I have 300 left in my pocket. I don't have a job, but I was planning on using this car to help me get one asap. I still need to get my car smog tested which will set me back $50 and registered which will put me back $150 leaving me with about 100 left. I don't know what to do at this point, I didn't think it would be this much. If I don't register it within 10 days am I subjective to late fees? I bought this car hoping it would help me get a job. I can barely afford gas. I have no idea what to do. I was told I need to get insurance before I can register my vehicle, which has no plates. (I got the pink slip and all the paper work) My question is what should I do, what insurance is the cheapest. If I don't register it within 10 days will I have to pay late fees? Please help me with any solutions. If I could register it next month it will save me so much grief. Is there anything I can do to make my situation easily until I find a job?""

Why is my insurance going up?

I've been working with my employer for 7 years, as of right now I have employee & spouse coverage, I pay about 150 a month (auto deduct from paycheck) and that amount gets me a $5000 deductible and about a $25-$30 co-pay. this morning in a company meeting we were told that our insurance is going to go up (starting June 1st) now for employee and spouse it is going to be $410 a month (everything else the same as before co-pay and deductible) last year my hubby had some medical issues and we have about $7000 in medical bills (on a payment plan we pay $400 a month) so now when my new rate kicks in (in about a week) I will have to pay a total of $800 a month just for medical stuff... I can't afford this. my employer is very upset and wants to shop around but has been shopping around for 8 months now and can't find anything better than this. why is health insurance rising?? I am thinking about dropping myself from health insurance all together (I am 31 and healthy), also i plan on getting rid of my cable and internet (which would save $140 a month), my husband (with medical issues) will get health insurance through his work (about $160-$200 a month) and I will go without for a couple of years just so we can keep our heads above water... I just have a question about my plan of action- can I drop my Health insurance? will I get fined for opting out of health insurance when Obamacare goes into action next year?""

Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up in March, and she has been begging to have a Jeep Wrangler as her first car. As a parent, I'm a little skeptical. I've heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-- some saying that they're real donkey carts to drive, others exclaiming the opposite to be true. I've read that the gas mileage isn't all that great either, which doesn't excite me (or my wallet), and I'm not sure how safe the vehicle really is, let alone if they regularly come with problems.     She was, at first, looking at the 4-door Unlimited, but after seeing its fuel economy, is now far more interested in the 2-door Wranglers. (She would be driving this car on the highway, and in part be responsible for paying for her own gas.)    We aren't necessarily looking for a new car. A used one with a good history will suffice in her situation. She's very adamant about having this car, but I'm still unsure.     Can any Wrangler owners give me the low-down on this car?

Which is the cheapest car insurance for young drivers?

Hi, I'm thinking of starting driving soon and was wondering if anyone knows which would be the cheapest option for insurance? I've tried the compare services and found a direct quote from direct line to be cheaper than any of the ones it found, at about 2200 last time I checked (I think). Does anyone know any other insurers who are cheaper or if this is the best I'm going to get? I'm 20, don't have a license yet and obviously have no no claims etc. Is http://www.4youngdrivers.co.uk/ any good? thanks people.""

All the obamacare plans probably have better benefits than your current health insurance. bad news?

September 2013 An Early Look at Premiums and Insurer Participation in Health Insurance Marketplaces, 2014 Cynthia Cox, Gary Claxton, Larry Levitt, Hana Khosla Under the Affordable Care Act (ACA), individuals and families may purchase private insurance coverage through new state-based exchanges (or Marketplaces), which are set to open in October of this year for coverage beginning January 1, 2014. In states that decide against operating their own exchanges, the federal government will either run the exchange or work in partnership with the state to create an exchange. Regardless of whether an exchange is state-run or federally-facilitated, enrollees with family incomes from one to four times the federal poverty level (about $24,000 to $94,000 for a family of four) may qualify for tax credits that will lower the cost of coverage through reduced premiums and, in some cases, also be eligible for subsidies to reduce their out-of-pocket costs. This report presents an early look at insurer participation and exchange premiums both before and after tax credits for enrollees in the 17 states plus the District of Columbia that have publicly released comprehensive data on rates or the rate filings submitted by insurers. These include eleven states operating their own exchanges and seven defaulting to a federally-facilitated exchange. Plan availability and premiums for all states are expected to be available by October 1.""

Getting insurance on a bike?

I plan on getting a motorcycle near the end of February. I have never bought a motor vehicle before, so I'm not really sure about how I go about getting insurance. I plan on getting something used from Craigslist (most likely 2008 or newer Ninja 250/300), then either having the owner ride it to my home before I pay, or taking it in a truck or something. What do I do after that? How do I insure the bike? I will probably get Progressive. Also is full coverage worth the extra money, or should I stick with liability? I'm 17 years old so it will be more expensive for me than for others. I live in California by the way. Thanks!""

Insurance Rates tied to credit score?

I just read the front page of our local newspaper regarding homeowners and auto insurance rates will be tied to ones credit score, making those with lower incomes, or problematic credit to pay even more for the home or auto insurances. The main question I have is...do you think that if ones credit improves, that the insurance companies have an adjustable rate that will decrease when ones credit score increases? I know this isn't the way it's going to happen, but what are your feelings on this plan?""

How long can I not have insurance before my car is repossessed?

This month I am not going to able to pay my car insurance due to other bills coming up. If I cancel my policy this month how long will I have before they repo my car? I live in New Hampshire.

Cheap auto insurance for students in louisana?

Cheap auto insurance for students in louisana?

Where do you get long term health care insurance quotes?

Where do people get long term care health insurance quotes? I've come across many websites but was wondering if anyone has had any particularly good experiences. I did come across http://www.ltcconnects.com which appears to compare various health care providers.

How much would a Ford Puma cost to insure?

I'm 16, taking driving lessons soon after my birthday, and I'd love to get a Puma, I know insurance is a lot... But I thought that as it's a small, 2 door car, the price might drop a bit, if maybe the price is going to be quite high (Above average for a new driver) then please suggest some other cars that are cheap to insure :) But I would really like one of these x) Also considering fuel consumption and economy :) One of these - http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201228478314260/usedcars/postcode/bn72ph?logcode=kp :) Thanks very much""

Car insurance on eclipse?

i recently had suv and a pickup truck. ar insurance is about $500 a year through farm family were on the farm policy so its a lot cheaper. I recently sold my truck (diesel) got tires of the awful gas milage (ford f-250). with the cost of diesel going way up again it was costing on empty-full $150 thats total b.s. anyway i been looking to get something with good gas milage that does not cost a lot to fill up. i have been looking into cars and taken carefully into consideration they get better milage but i have seen cars even is 20 mph accidents totaled. my next question is how much would car insurance be on a eclipse. if i did get a car i don't want a pice of junk looking old lady car i would want something that looks very nice. i was looking into the mit. eclipse/spider. was curious how much car insurance was if i stayed with farm family. i was going to call and ask them but i don't have the physical car yet and they would need to know exactly what kind of car year etc it is to give me the exact amount. I'm 22 years old with 5 years driving experience. only 1 accident. (old person was in hurry to airport for vacation told me and cop he did not think it it was needed to stop so he ran stop sign and hit me. i have owned 2 pick ups, 1 trail blazer. pickups, ad suv's fall under farm category cars don't so i am sure it would be more then what i pay now. i don't want to switch insurance either i hear horror stores with others. farm family paid me every time that week for accident repair i hear others you won't hear from them or they don't pay you or hospital bills if its needed farm family does. my spelling is not the greatest at it i got a little lazy.""

How much would car insurance cost for a Corvette?

If you are 16 years old and a Male

Motorcycle insurance in GTA?!?

Hey, I am 21 and has had motorcycle insurance now for the past 3 years and have been insured for a 2009 kawasaki ninja 250r. I am currently paying $1700 a year for insurance with td and have a perfect driving record. I want to switch my bike to a 2012 harley davidson iron 883 and just got a quote from them for $5500 a year!! I think that is ridiculous! Does anyone know of any good motorcycle insurance for harleys or are similar in age and paying less? I really want this bike but $5500 a year is nuts. I can buy a brand new ninja every year lmao.""

Car insurance excess?

Hi All, I'm new to car insurance game :). Could someone please explain the logic behnd the following? As a new driver, i got a couple of quotes around 1.5K but then i look at the excess and it shows 3K!!! What are they trying to do here? Make it impossible for me to make a claim? thank you.""

Why is my car insurance so high?

my car insurance is very high its something like 5000-10,000 and plus its only third party and the car is cheap 500 fiat punto ive checked confused several times still same prices""

Where can you read reviews on renter's insurance?

My mom just moved into this expensive high-rise building and considering the crazy amount of rent she's paying for it and all the stuff she's putting in it I think she needs insurance. How can you decide on which one to go with?

Cheap auto insurance for 18 year old?

Cheap auto insurance for 18 year old?

Crashed car 3rd party no-one else injured what to do with insurance?

I'm in my first year of driving as a 17 yr old male and i crashed damaging my car beyond repair. My insurance is only 3rd party and that cost 3200 no-one else was involved however the police,ambulance and fire were present. What shall i do, do i inform the insurance company however without making a claim? Do i scrap the car and change my insurance? What are my options to prevent the premium going even higher than it already is.""

How do I get the car insurance $$ and still keep the car?

How do I get insurance money from a total , and still keep the car? My daughter's front bumper was torn off. The wheel looks a little bent, so it could me major, could be as simple as a tie rod. The adjuster TOTALED the thing! Book value was $2000 LESS than what was stated on car by dealer. I asked insurance how this could be. They said they use NADA, not Kelly. And, they do an outside market evaluation by Standard and Poors. Plus, they go by private sale value, not retail. So all in all, she's poised to get screwed $2000. As usual, the little guy loses again. What a great country! However, 3 years ago, I totaled my vehicle and the insurance company gave me the $$ AND let me keep the car. I just don't remember how it happened! Any idea?""

Looking for a cool car but cheap on the insurance?

im 17, looking for a cool car have a budget of about 8000, but i need the insurance cheap because some of the ones i was checking out were ridiculous any ideas? thanks""

Car insurance question?

My car was in an accident (not my fault, I wasn't in it and the time) when someone plowed into the back. All signs are indicating it's totaled. She and I have no-fault insurance. Here is my questions. 1. Do I talk to the police and insurance company? 2. Do I get any money/compensation from the accident? 3. Do I go after her insurance and Do I get anything from that? 4. Or do I reach a compromise with both parties? If anybody has anymore suggestion feel free. Thanks!!!""

Question about insurance differences for regular vehicles and motorcycles?

I currently have a car through my parents car insurance but I really want to branch out on my own and get my own insurance so I've been thinking about finally pursuing my dream of getting a motorcycle. They're cheap, run well, and from what I gather insurance is very cheap. Could anyone tell me what kind of money I might save in Pennsylvania or New Jersey in comparison between a motorcycle and a regular car? Thanks.""

Insurance for 16-20 year old Male?

Hello all, I am currently 16, and i have my drivers license. I am on my parents plan and i pay about $100 a month for full coverage with my parents cars. But here is my real question, I have been saving for a while (5 years) and i have enough to buy a car i have dreamed of buying for a long time. So i am going to, but my question is what would my insurence be if i did? the car is a 2002 BMW M3 SMG. It has 76,200 Miles on it. I am paying $20,000 for it. I am going to buy it weather the insurance is $1,000 or $100. I have a job and can pay for $1,000 if needed.. so if anyone knows a estimate of what it would be, let me know. If it helps, i have had my drivers license for a month. Also after i buy it, i may just not drive it, if it is too much $$$.. so if it would go down for me when im say 17-20 let me know how much =] Here are some pictures of the car: http://picasaweb.google.com/evanesterman/2002BMWM3SMG# Thanks""

How much is the Tax penalty for not having insurance?

I lost my insurance because I didn't have enough hours. I missed open enrollment last fall and not eligible again until October 31. I heard Obama care is expensive. I also have two jobs and make around 30,000 gross pay with both jobs combined. Is the 100 a monthly penalty or a yearly penalty. Is their anyway to get around open enrollment. Maybe my Union can help?""

What is Insurance sales like?

Since I put my resume on sites like Careerbuilder and Monster I have gotten a lot of emails about insurance sales.I have been reluctant to reply to them because I am fairly young and always heard about insurance sales being boring and miserable. So I would just like to know what being an agent is like? Can you make a decent living? Is it interesting? Is it boring? What do you or a friend enjoy about it? What do you dislike about it?

Can anybody help me about car insurance?

For the last few months I've been sharing my Dad's car, I've been a named driver for that car. Now I've bought my own car, however, at the moment I cannot afford to pay the 220 starter fee to insure me on my own car just yet. So my question is, if I upgraded the insurance on my Dad's car to fully comp. Will I be covered to drive my car? I'm 17 by the way, if that changes anything. Any help will be very much appreciated.""

About how much is high point auto insurance a month?

Well, I just recently got my license and I wanted to buy a car, but my mom said that it's a bad idea and one of the reasons is because of how expensive insurance is. My friend told me her insurance- high point- is only 60 dollars a month. I'm not sure if that's true, because that sounds really really cheap. Does anyone have this or know approximately how much this auto insurance would be a month?""

Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up in March, and she has been begging to have a Jeep Wrangler as her first car. As a parent, I'm a little skeptical. I've heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-- some saying that they're real donkey carts to drive, others exclaiming the opposite to be true. I've read that the gas mileage isn't all that great either, which doesn't excite me (or my wallet), and I'm not sure how safe the vehicle really is, let alone if they regularly come with problems.     She was, at first, looking at the 4-door Unlimited, but after seeing its fuel economy, is now far more interested in the 2-door Wranglers. (She would be driving this car on the highway, and in part be responsible for paying for her own gas.)    We aren't necessarily looking for a new car. A used one with a good history will suffice in her situation. She's very adamant about having this car, but I'm still unsure.     Can any Wrangler owners give me the low-down on this car?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/lesser-known-auto-insurance-company-trust-worthy-jose-hart/"

[hyttesanger]

When You Wish Upon A Star (Your Dreams Come True)

T | Lee Soojung x Lee Mijoo

"Yah. When can we go back and sleep?" This is the tenth time Soojung whines since she and Mijoo arrived at their apartment building's roof few hours earlier, armed with layers of thick blanket and pillows and sweaters to fight October's chill air. She barely stifles a huge yawn with the back of her hand.

"Hold on." Mijoo fishes a phone out of her bag, scrolling through a page from some space and astronomy website before reciting what's written in there. "It's said here the best time to see the meteor shower is around midnight to early morning. Be patient, unnie, it's only 01:15 now."

"Mijoo..." Soojung retorts. It's that tone that normally precedes a long motherly nag, so Mijoo cuts her right away.

"Yes, I know we have schedule tomorrow. But I've never seen shooting stars before." She quickly does the sort of exaggerated pouty face - which she's very certain wouldn't work with Soojung, but oh well... At least she tried, right? "Pweeeaseee! Just one more hour! I promise if by then the meteor doesn't show up, we will head back to the dorm right away and sleep."

It all started few weeks ago when Little Sujeong discovered the information of Orionid meteor shower, which is supposed to be visible throughout October and peak tonight, then declared they should go see it. Everyone sans their leader seemed to agree and immediately launched numerous “Lovelyz Goes Stargazing” plans - Soojung preferred to call them nonsensical ideas. The one that gained most votes from all members was taking a gigantic tent up to the hill nearby, but it sadly didn't get approval from their manager ("Who would drive you all there? Do you know how much a tent for eight people cost?”), so they gave up and decided the dorm's rooftop and blankets would do fine.

Days passed, their previously empty schedule began to get busier and busier with preparation for upcoming comeback. Then on the d-day, of course, true to Soojung's dubiety, the initiator of this ridiculous big plan was the first one who bailed out.

"My eyes can't stay open for more than one second. You unnies, take lots of pics and show me tomorrow, 'kay?" Bbangdeokkie had said when Soojung tried to wake her up. The girl didn't even bother getting out of her comfortable bed.

In the end, nobody else beside Mijoo was awake enough to watch the meteor shower - which is kinda surprising actually, since the girl resents staying out in the open during this season. Taking pity on the dancer's sullen face (she'd even got her sweater and blankets prepared since morning), Soojung finally offered they climb up to the roof accordingly to the plan. Which then brought them to their current state; each of them snuggled into their respective pillows, occasionally sipping hot chocolate or munching the snacks they've stolen from Little Sujeong's secret food stash as they're waiting for the meteor shower to start.

They wait for another hour listening to owls hooting lowly and crickets chirping in the faraway, tonight's autumn breeze is pretty nice in a way that drives both girls drowsy. Just as Soojung is starting to regret her poor life choice of coming here, the first meteor cuts through the dark, faraway sky. It happens very sudden, in just a fraction of one second Soojung almost thought she might've been hallucinating. She blinks few times, beside her, Mijoo gasps an oh! quietly, indicating what they've seen was indeed, a real thing.

Soon, thousands more shooting stars continue to rain down, blazing the whole sky with their magnificent trails. It's magical. It's by far the prettiest scene they both ever witnessed, even someone as riotous as Mijoo actually seems to be too deep in awe to make a commotion this time.

"We should make a wish." She whispers.

But never one to believe in such fairytale-ish superstition, Soojung only scoffs watching the younger girl closing her eyes, hands clasped together before her chest and looking dead serious.

"I'd never understand why people do that. The best, logical way to attain something is by working hard, not talking to stars."

"Tsk, you really have no sense of romance." Mijoo chuckles. "Well, if you don't want to ask anything, then I will make a wish for you. I hope Soojung unnie grows tall and sexy like me—oof!"

A blanket smothered her entire head effectively shuts Mijoo's mouth. "I should've never accompanied you, jerk!" Soojung gets up, struggling to hold the urge to throw this stupid girl off to the cold street below.

"Fine, I have a wish now! I hope Lee Mijoo shrink into a dwarf and have to walk around with insoles hidden inside your shoes forever!" She says one last time before storms out of the roof, all the while Mijoo's still bursting fit of boisterous laugh.

The younger girl soon follows Soojung, dragging the whole pile of blankets down the emergency stairs leading to their apartment unit, occasionally rambling series of half-hearted apologies which Soojung completely ignores. Across the sky they've left behind, one last shooting star streaks beautifully; and little does Soojung or Mijoo knows, it might've been listening to their wishes.

———————

First abnormal thing Soojung notices right after she wakes up is her slightly bigger than usual boobs. Not that she is the type who obsessed over stuffs like that, Soojung just... can't help but observe the deep cleavage peeking out of the not-properly-buttoned pajama shirt. She mutters a confused hmm?, absent-mindedly kneading one of her own breasts while the other free hand is tucking some strands of her long hair behind her ear—

Wait.

Long hair?

"Unnie, I know you have a great pride in yourself, but please, don't be gross."

Soojung's head shoots up instantly when she hears Jiyeon's voice. The girl is in the middle of her morning skincare ritual, perched before the chaotic vanity across their bed, a very rare frown of disapproval spreads across her normally amicable face as she watches Soojung's reflection on the huge mirror.

"What are you doing here in my room?"

"Uh. It's our room?" Jiyeon corrects her.

Soojung begins to feel her blood run cold. She carefully climbs off the top bunkbed, inspecting her body while walking towards the younger girl, who's still giving her a weird look. The pajama shirt she's wearing positively isn't hers. These all-skin-and-bone thin arms, they definitely aren't hers. And these... Long?? Her legs are long? Is there any way Soojung, a twenty five, could experience sudden spurt of growth overnight?

She finally stops just beside Jiyeon, the sound of her thumping heart is deafening as she looks up to the mirror.

There, reflection of Lee Mijoo stares back right at her.

Soojung has never screamed that loud in her life before.

———————

"Soojung unnie, is that you?"

With her now smaller feet, Mijoo carefully pads through the bedroom, towards... Herself. Or more like, towards Soojung, inhabiting her body. The older girl sits hugging her knees by the corner of the room surrounded by Jiyeon's Rilakkuma stuffs, presumably trying to convince herself that this all are is just a very bad dream.

Surely Mijoo too, has gotten her share of huge shock when she found out about the whole situation few moments ago. Then came a loud screaming voice she recognized as hers, followed by Jiyeon running around the dorm telling everyone else I don't know what happened but Mijoo unnie suddenly freaked out!, and her gut feeling shifted to certainty; she and Soojung had swapped their bodies.

"This is.." After a long bizzare silence, Soojung finally speaks up, gesturing back and forth between... herself and herself. Lord this is so confusing she really wants to pull her hair out and shriek. "Is this because of what we wished last night?"

Mijoo tilts her head, feature scrunches while she's trying to remember. "Last night you said..."

"I wish Lee Mijoo shrunk..."

"And have to wear insoles... Forever..."

"Forever." Soojung echoes the last word slowly, turning even paler as the meaning of it dawns on her.

"No. No no no no. No! This is madness! I cannot live in this body forever!" She yells frantically. "Yah! There must be a way to reverse this, right?!"

"Maybe, I don't know. But first thing first, unnie, we have to perform in like five hours." Mijoo gives her a pointed look.

"Exactly why we have to figure something out before the schedule starts! Or— Or we should call it off!"

"Exactly why we have to get ourselves together and carry on!"

"But this is super emergency!"

"Yeah like hell the managers and our members would believe something as farfetched as this! How do you expect them to help anyway? Drag us to the hospital for mentally-ill people?" Where have their level-headed, undeterred by anything leader gone? Did they also swap their personalities along with their bodies? Mijoo groans in disbelief.

"Unnie, just stop thinking too much. We will figure something out, but right now, we don't have time for that. I promise we will discuss this tonight after the event. Are you understanding me?" She tries to offer an encouraging big smile. It must look good, she knows how adorable Soojung is when smiling.

"C'mon. As long as we don't talk too much, nobody would realize we've swapped bodies."

"Right. Okay." After a little moment of consideration, Soojung eventually allows Mijoo to pull her up and steer her out to the hallway. They walk stealthily past the other members' rooms with the mockery of burglars avoiding getting caught.

"Then, where are we going now?"

"Um. Let's shower first. Everyone else are getting ready to go to the beauty shop."

Suddenly, Soojung's eyes widen at the mention of shower. "Uh. Do you think we can survive without going to the bathroom for a few days?"

"No." Mijoo sighs again. "Don't be ridiculous, unnie."

"I mean, this is your body! I just don't want to see.. I... You get what I mean, don't you?"

"If it makes you feel better, I've sort of seen yours. Went to pee first thing after woke up, that's when I realized we have our body swapped." Mijoo says, the volume consistently descends with each word. "And I might have... Accidentally touched few things..."

"What?!" Soojung screeches, halting abruptly in the spot. "God, you're unbelievable! I hate you! Bastard! Pervert!"

"Well I didn't do it willingly, I swear! Stop hitting me!" Mijoo desperately tries to block all kicks and punches directed at her, which is hard, because now she is small and Soojung is so much taller. Oh so this is how it feels to be tiny person and get picked on by huge bully. "I had no other choice, is all! Do you want me to cause your bladder some permanent damage?!"

It makes sense, so Soojung finally stops her attack. She rubs her forehead in frustration. "This is crazy. I can't do this."

"Say, why don't we just do it together? That way we will be even, and each of us doesn't need to worry about what we do behind closed door, yeah?"

"You mean— Wait— No!"

But Mijoo is losing patience. Whilst Soojung is too stunned to fight, she ducks and hoists the older girl by waist, exerting all strength she got to push the now taller girl into their dorm's bathroom which, fortunately, located only few steps away from where they're standing. Another scream of terror ensues.

———————

Three hours later, Soojung is still flushed red, to the point her make-up artist falsely suspecting her of being ill. Been living together for years, this morning wasn't the first time she got to see one of the other girls naked, intentional or not. With so little break between schedules, it's inevitable for them to change or shower together occasionally to save time.

But still, to see her own body moving around across her, not to mention with Mijoo's mannerism - the way her hip would swing with each step like there is an invisible red carpet beneath her feet, the confidence projected as she struts forward, that's.... A whole new level of peculiarity.

And now, just remembering one second of that event somewhat can make her heart jolt uncontrollably. It's strange, why would someone feel like this - like having such a wrong desire towards their own naked body? Is she having some sort of narcisstic disorder she'd never known before? But then again, Soojung isn't particularly a big fan of herself no matter people keep telling her how cute she is. She has confidence, sure, but not in a shameless à la Lee Mijoo way.

"Uhm." The sound of Mijoo clearing her throat sends Soojung back to reality.

"What do you want now?!" Soojung spats. Being the fourth born now she can no longer be the first to get anything, and waiting for turn to get her make-up done at this moment really doesn't help toning down her rage. Why can't this day be over already, she just want to sleep and who knows, maybe everything would be fixed by itself once she wake up the next day?

"I need some earrings."

"So what?! You don't have hands to get it by yourself??"

Mijoo purses her lips, looking like she's contemplating a major life decision before finally lifting a finger up. "It's kept over there."

The shelf Mijoo's pointing at isn't actually that high, but Soojung remembers exactly that the accessories box is placed on the very top, behind any other boxes, which would be quite a hassle for someone's Mijoo's height - her height - to get.

"I can't reach it." Mijoo says, hands in the air, a defeated gesture. And Soojung immediately lightens up in a terrifying sort of way.

"Oh."

It's a very foreboding oh.

———————

The rest of their time in the beauty salon proved that Soojung could be quite a mean prankster when she wanted to. First, she took some of Mijoo's belongings and hid them on high places. When Mijoo refused to ask for help and insistently tried to find them herself, she hid the stool.

"Unnie." Mijoo's no longer able to remember of how many times she has came to the mischievous leader today in search for missing things. The way her shoulders slump makes her seem even smaller. "Where are my insoles?"

"Hmm.. I wonder where are they." Soojung replies is lazy drawls, internally very pleased at how super annoying it sounds in Mijoo's voice more than hers. Maybe this isn't so bad to dwell in this body.

Mijoo swears under her breath, watching with dread as Soojung casually takes out her shoes from beneath the couch where she's sitting at. Just now the manager oppa has told her they're going to depart in fifteen minutes. Not exactly a good time to play around.

"Can you please stop with all of this?"

"No." Soojung stands up to her full imposing height. She holds the shoes as high as her arm can stretch, out of Mijoo's reach, joker-ish smirk plastered all over her face. "Take this if you can, shorty—"

— and that's Mijoo's cue to act. She lunges wildly at Soojung, who seems to be well prepared and immediately scrambles out of the way.

"Oh crap!" The first attempt at catching the damned girl ends up with Mijoo's head slamming hard against the couch. She bolts back up, chasing Soojung around the bustling salon while rattling vile curses at a mile a minute. The ruckus is enough to cause every head turn at them with curiosity, and slight disgust.

"What's gotten into these two today?!" Jiae grumbles, clearly not enjoying the situation. "They are humiliating us!"

Yein only shrugs, standing perfectly rooted on her spot as the older girl is still busy dabbing some pink-ish blush on across her cheek. The salon is currently short of staffs, and there are eight of them, so everyone's instinctively helping each other as much as they can.

"And we thought they're past the stupid push-and-pull phase. Tsk tsk."

"I know right. If they want to date why don't they just do it the sane way like any other grown-ups! This is not high school romantic comedy!"

"But, unnie, don't you notice they are slightly... Hm, how should I put it? Different, today?"

"Different how?"

Like they are behaving super extra, more than usual, Yein wants to say, but a flurry of Soojung suddenly sprinting past between them kills her voice. She and Jiae barely spring apart in surprise when Mijoo follows suit just a beat behind. Yein hears Mijoo's warning of 'scuse me! Coming through!, but it's a little too late to keep her balance. With a yelp, the maknae slips backward, her long leg accidentally intertwined with Mijoo's short one in the process, dragging the older girl along with her and they both miserably falling together to the cold floor.

"Oww! Soul unnie, my nose!" Yein cries in protest, rubbing her nose which Mijoo has unknowingly elbowed just now.

"So sorry, Yeinnie!"

It's barely midday and she's already one step away from wishing death would come claim her right now. Mijoo pulls herself loose from Yein, whirling left and right in search of the woman who's been making her life hard. Instead of Lee Soojung, she finds their manager, stomping over towards them with his spine-chilling glare. Helping Yein to get up, Jiae blanches in fear.

Okay, lord, please just kill me now.

"Yah Soul-ah! Are you crazy?! What do you think you're doing, running around like that?!"

"It's not my fault, oppa! So— Mijoo took away my shoes!" It's no use, the real perpetrator has completely vanished, the shoes and insoles left neatly not far from her. Oh fuck...

"You're the leader, control you members! Am I managing some kindergarten group?!" He huffs one last time in annoyance before commanding everyone to gather, his face resembling the internet infamous grumpy cat. "We have no more time! Whatever you're doing, just resume it in the car! Let's go!"

One by one, the members start leaving while Mijoo is still gawking in disbelief.

"Why are you still daydreaming there, Soul unnie? Get yourself together." Mijoo hears Soojung sing-songs in mocking tone. She's leaning against the entrance's doorframe and sticking up her tongue teasingly at her.

This little shit.

So she wants to play dirty, huh? She will see how evil a Lee Mijoo can be.

 ———————

Once they get into the stage, Mijoo absolutely forgets about showing Soojung how evil she can be.

It's not until the intro to Candy Jelly Love starts playing and they have to get into their respective position Mijoo realizes that she isn't much familiar with Soojung's dance moves. Some of the student organization members in this college where they currently performing are Lovelyz' fans, and those people spared so much timeslot for the group, which means Lovelyz have to perform five title songs. Mijoo gulps nervously, taking a sideway glance towards the leader beside her. Seeing Soojung's face - her own face, is totally on high alert, she's certain another doom is waiting for them.

But somehow, they survive. The performance turns out not as abysmal as expected. In this time they are so grateful for the sweats and tears they'd shed practising until the wee hours, all they need to do now is just let their bodies taking control, moving by itself according to the strong muscle memories which had formed thanks to those hard work.

Few mistakes here and there still happen, like Soojung sometimes shuffles to the wrong spot or Mijoo accidentally almost crashes against someone. And two members busy exchanging silent you should go forward not backward, moron! wasn't really a good sight for the audience as well. Soojung catches how their managers are watching from faraway across the stage, evidently awestruck, but she decides they can deal with this later.

In between performances, the event's MCs show up, two young college students who seem all so excited to talk with pretty idols. They blabber every sort of compliments, to which Mijoo's tuning out the whole time until the part where they have to introduce themselves.

"Unnie." Jisoo slaps her back rather hard, and Mijoo jerks in surprise. "It's your turn!"

"Oh. Me— Yeah." Right, she's leader now, she's supposed to go first before anyone else. What did Soojung usually say again? Mijoo gulps. Her palms are clammy from the nervous sweat and she grips her mic tighter, afraid it might slip out of her hand. And yet while she's still momentarily disoriented and barely strings something intelligible, someone else already beats her to greet people.

"Good evening. I am Lovelyz' leader, Babysoul!"

The audience, the MCs, the other members, all fall into stupor. Soojung freezes, belatedly realizing the mistake she's done, whilst Mijoo hangs her head very low. Her cheeks are hot with embarrassment as she doesn't even have to see to know the collective hard stares directed towards herself and Soojung back and forth.

"Yah, Lee Mijoo, it's a hundred years too early for you to snatch the leader position from Soul unnie." Neither of them present a reply, and it's Jiae comes to save the day, oh-so-sweet smile concealing her exasperation towards the two nutheads. Predictably, the joke is gaining big laughters as response, and for awhile Soojung and Mijoo can let out a relieved breath.

(But they don't get out of the woods right away, of course. Later when the group are about to leave after their performance ends, as usual Mijoo is the one left on the stage, maybe attempting at giving a meaningful goodbye to their audience with.... Doing some extreme dance in the middle of the stage. She throws herself into all her moves, there's an expression in her face which even Soojung herself had never known she could make.

Holy fuck.

This is so gonna be the hottest topic within the fans in an hour; Soul did crazy dance without anyone placing her under a grave threat. Gritting her teeth behind the stage, Soojung can already feel her reputation is crumbling down epically.)

———————

It's finally evening and Soojung's ears are absolutely in pain from all the managers' severe nagging, repercussion of the chaos she and Mijoo had created on this one single day. Even their director is present just to reprimand the two harshly. Once done with the meeting, they both go to take a bath separately, and this time Mijoo doesn't bother to force Soojung to do it anymore. The younger girl doesn't even respond when Soojung calls her, only giving an icy later, unnie, then slamming the bedroom door shut.

Settled inside the bathtub, Soojung twists the shower knob to the lowest temperature. It's freezing like crazy, but she somehow finds the coldness is helpful at clearing her mind. What is wrong with that girl now, Soojung thinks bitterly as cold water hits her back steadily before pooling around her. The on-again-off-again feeling she used to had towards Mijoo long time ago involuntarily resurfaces, and it annoys her greatly.

"Don't be stupid, Lee Soojung." She whispers to herself.

First of all, Soojung still doubts highly two girls in love could actually make it out through the cruel, unforgiving world full of bigots and close-minded people here. Experiences from her naïve teenager days had taught her enough about it, and she doesn't want to get hurt once more. As long as she doesn't speak out, nobody will know and she can continue pretending that she's content with the life she has.

Secondly, Mijoo had once confessed to her few years back, and she was the one who straight-up rejected the other girl. It would be too late to regret it - to think about all the what ifs that could've been them had she ever given Mijoo one chance - now, wouldn't it? Mijoo probably had gotten over her completely just like herself as well.

So why is she having this weird aching sensation in her heart thinking about how Mijoo's face - hey no, it's not even Mijoo's, it's her own face - wilted with undecipherable sadness the last time they saw each other?

The water has filled more than half of the tub, Soojung turns it off before proceeds to lie down, soaking herself wholly along with all her worries.

———————

The thing Soojung never expected, is to find Yoo Jiae waiting for her as soon as she steps out of the bathroom.

"Lee Mijoo, would you come here a bit?"

Ugh, this can’t be good.

Jiae wriggles her finger, motioning for Soojung to come after her to her room, and the younger girl seems totally unreadable. Soojung knows despite their indifferent attitute towards each other, Jiae and Mijoo are actually pretty close and might’ve been confiding secrets towards each other. Oh no.

They close the door and Jiae immediately plops herself down on the floor. Soojung follows suit, sitting cross-legged and fidgeting uncomfortably, trying to avoid meeting the other girl's eyes. "What is it?"

"What happened with you and Soul unnie this early morning? Did you finally ask her out again? You two have been acting so weird the whole day!" Judging from her expression, this isn't some sort of teasing, Jiae is erious. And Soojung nearly bites her own tongue in her haste to response.

"Mijoo still likes me?! I— I mean, I'm still pining for her? How did you know?"

"Are you high?! We've talked about this like hundred times already!"

Aah. Is that why she always involuntarily felt like her heart was about to burst everytime the image of them sharing a bathroom popped out inside her head? Is that some sort of muscle memory deeply ingrained to this body which had caused all the butterflies going frenzy around her stomach whenever they touched or simply met each other eyes?

So it wasn't her, it was Mijoo's natural reaction?

"When did I—"

They both jump on their seat as a chorus of shrill screaming of Little Sujeong and Jisoo interrupt Soojung midsentence. Jiae's previous confusion is immediately replaced by an expression which translates as why am I friend with these bunch of looneys? At this rate, it's possible their neighbours would send some complaints regarding noise to the landlord, or maybe even report to the police that they’ve been hearing girls screaming from this unit.

"Now what?!"

"Wait! Jiae, wait—" Soojung tries to stop Jiae from storming out of the room to no avail, thus she decides to follow her to the source of the commotion. Whatever happened to that Bbangdeokki and Jisoo, it better be something worth more than her urgent need to figure out about this pining thingie.

———————

When they arrive, jogging in towards two Sujeongs room, the other members are already there flocking about the doorway. Yein and Myungeun quickly give way once Jiae makes an impatient waving gesture. They shuffle through the crowd, Soojung feels her heart doing spectacular flip when she spots Little Sujeong lying unconscious in Jiyeon's lap, a fresh, golf ball-sized lump already forming on her forehead.

"OH MY GOD!" The two oldest girls are yelling at the same time.

"Is she alright?!"

"She is! Um, probably not that alright, but she'll live. She's just... Shocked, I guess." Mijoo is the one who answers, guilt tainting her voice. She clenches and unclenches her toes in anxiety.

"How did all of this happen though?" Myungeun pipes in curiously.

"We wanted to borrow Soul unnie's novel." Jisoo, the sole witness of the whole catasthrope, starts her testimony. Everyone's gazes swivel in her direction as she's going back and forth, rounding up the evidence; a book, a dirty jeans, and a freaking plastic tarantula, the one which looks like a very convincing substitute for the real thing.

According to Jisoo, Sujeong was consumed by visceral stab of panic as soon as she found the fake arachnid. Then in an attempt to escape, the girl accidentally tripped on one of the clothes Mijoo's left littered around the room, and crashed headlong against the hard wall. The hit, combined with the initial shock caused her to pass out right away.

"Soul unnie are you out of your mind?!" Jiae's jaw hangs a fraction open in utter distress. Being mother of seven is a very hard job, eh? "You put a fake spider inside your book, for what purpose?! And don't tell me that's a bookmark!"

"It was just a joke!" Yes, like everyone said, it's fun and games, until someone loses an eye. "I intended to prank Mijoo! Thought she's going to continue reading it tonight."

"Oh so you intended to kill me?!" Soojung snaps, aggravated at best.

"Who do you think started this first?!" Mijoo hops one step forward, sending a challenging glare at her own tall self fearlessly.

"You really want to argue about who started first?! Then we should go waaaay back to years before—"

"ENOUGH!"

And the whole world seems to come to a standstill after Jiae's ground-shattering wailing.

It takes a moment before Mijoo manages to scrape a courage to mutter a quiet, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah it's on us." Soojung agrees. "No more fighting for now. We need to take Sujeong to the hospital now for a check-up."

"We will take Sujeong to hospital. You two, stay here!" Jiae's fingers jab threateningly at Soojung's and Mijoo's chest. "You are making so much non-sense, unnie! And I, as the second born in this group, will temporarily take over the leader position until you sort out whatever it is happening between you two!"

"Are you kidding me?! You can't do that!"

"Yes I can! Who knows what kind of disaster you two will cause later if we let you roam free." Jiae insists, in a way that brooks no argument. She begins instructing Myungeun and Jiyeon to help her raising Sujeong off the floor.

"Yein, Jisoo, hold these two in this room, so they can reflect on their mistakes!"

The two girls don't need telling twice, who would dare to fight with angry Jiae anyway? In just a couple of heartbeat, they're already grabbing handful of Soojung and Mijoo's pajamas, hauling them back into the room before they can flee the scene too far, then slamming the door shut.

"Let us out!" They've heard a click of lock, yet Mijoo still desperately bangs the solid wood, her tiny fists turning slightly red. "You will regret this! Jiae is the evil step-mother she will eat you all! YAH—"

"Hey, quit it and sit down, would you?" Soojung sighs, giving the other girl firm taps on the shoulder. "They won't listen to us, we were indeed wrong anyway."

"Well, at least now we can talk calmly." Following her own advice first, Soojung drags two bean bags for her and Mijoo to sit on. But the younger girl apparently ignores her, she walks quickly past Soojung then throws herself onto the bottom bunkbed instead, tousling her short hair in rough way that makes Soojung flinch.

"Yes, let's discuss on how to cure this stupid curse! None of this would happen if we didn't switch bodies!"

"Why are you acting so crabby now?! I thought you were like, super calm about all this crap before?!" Soojung nearly shouts, an action which she regrets a second later. Fighting fire with fire won't do any good in this situation.

"I'm sorry if earlier today I was too much." Soojung starts again, with more controlled tone this time. She moves to the bed as well, taking a seat by the edge of it.

"Nah, I've done worse to you. And to Bbangdeokki as well. I'm the one who owes big apologies."

"I heard from Jiae. You told her that you still like me?"

At this unexpected change of topic, Mijoo shoots up abruptly, her eyes widen slightly.

"Is that true?"

"It is." She answers after a moment of hesitation, yet still refuses to look directly at Soojung. "That's why right now I'm so... No, not angry.. More like scared."

"Of what?"

"I know you've said no one time, regarding us... But I just... I can't give up." For awhile, Mijoo fumbles with her own words. The way Soojung observes her intently right now isn't helping to melt down her uneasiness. "I've been in love with Lee Soojung for the longest time, and that's all I will ever be in the future too, no matter you would change your mind or not. I was ready to be stucked with this one-sided love as long as I live."

"But look at us now. All of a sudden, you are no longer you, you are me... I— I always imagined to hold or kiss you, and I can't do that anymore. It's just weird in any sort of way to love yourself like this, right? I don't know what to feel, what would we be.. And I don't want to lose my Soojung—"

Mijoo doesn't really realize what is going on when out of the blue a pair of hands are pushing her down the mattress, efficiently silencing her rambling. The next thing she knows, her lips are colliding against Soojung's, and she's pinned under the other girl's weight. Even more shocking, she definitely cannot resist herself from responding instantly with evenly fervent kiss, sliding a tongue into Soojung's welcoming mouth before her brain ever give command to do so. Everything's happened innately like it's the rightest thing for them, like they were made to loving each other.

"Was that what you've been wanting to do with me?" Soojung says when they finally parted for air, small smile on her lips. Beneath her, Mijoo still seems too dazed to say anything.

"I know it now, how much you think of me above anything, your sincere feelings... I can sense it. My soul may be occupying this body, but your instinct, your reflexes, everything you kept on the back of your mind, they are all still here." She takes Mijoo's hand and places it at her chest. "When I heard my own name, this heart would beat slightly faster in excitement. And when I saw my own upset face, it would hurt this heart greatly too."

"It's— Um. Just now, I—" Mijoo stutters, still burning deep crimson it would be unsurprising if steam comes out of her head next.

"Exactly." Soojung nods solemnly. "That's how much my body had been yearned for you."

"But you said our relationship would never work out?"

"I had a girlfriend before, it was my first love, long time ago when I was still living in my hometown." Soojung admits without preamble. "Of course our families and friends were all against the idea of two girls dating each other. But that time, I thought if we want it hard enough, we could stay together and be happy. I even told her we could elope to another country. Silly, right?"

"Apparently she didn't feel the same and decided to ditch me for some guy. Our breakup was pretty much messed up. She's maybe already got married to her boyfriend by now."

Mijoo opens her mouth but then closes it again, like she's unsure of what to say, before finally settles with a quiet, "What an awful bitch."

"It's fine, I don't hate her. Anyway we were both still too young back then." Soojung waves one hand dismissively. It's actually rather amusing to see someone else gets angry on her behalf. "But I could never defeat the trauma whenever I start to fall for someone. You included. I just can't stop this thought that one day you would eventually grow out of love, once the euphoria wears off and pressure from society begins to brutally set upon us. And I would be left hurt once again."

"Then be my girlfriend." Mijoo blurts out, her voice soft as she slings an arm around Soojung's shoulders and gently pushes the other girl down against her chest.

"I mean, I'm not going to offer you romantic promises here, given that you're not interested in sweet words. So why don't you just give me a chance? I will prove that my feelings for you will remain for the rest of my life. Plus, if the universe really wouldn't switch us back and we have no other choice but learn to live with this body, it's better to just stick together, don't you think? I will totally need someone to help me getting things from high places."

The last one gets Soojung unable to hold back burst of cackles that's escaping her. "Oh my life would be so much fun from now on.."

"Now you're already plotting something mean again, huh?" Mijoo scoffs. "Should've kept that spider before the girls confiscated it. Tsk."

"Lord, don't you ever dare pulling such stunt anymore. Jiae would cut you."

"Right."

Soojung waits a moment until their laughter completely subdued before continues, "But really, I'm grateful we swapped body."

"Because like this, at long last I can learn that you really love me."

Silence stretches on. And by the time Mijoo finds her voice again, it's tight with emotion.

"It's my actual wish, y'know." She mutters, willing all the sheer happiness brewing inside her not to spill as tears.

"Hm?"

"I wanted Soojung unnie to know how much I love her... Is what I wished for real that night."

Soojung doesn't reply, she nuzzles impossibly closer into Mijoo's neck, planting little kisses in every inch of skin where she knows exactly would feel amazing - and of course Soojung knows, it was her body afterall - until she can hear Mijoo's deep blissful sigh. Her heart flutters warmly, flooded with delight once again as she looks up to meet her own adorable dimpled smile. It still feels a little freak, but it's fine, Soojung decides. With them being stuck in such an unexpected anomaly, this is most likely the greatest turn-of-events she could ever hope for.

———————

They wake up still tingling all over with residual buzz of pleasure from last night, limbs remain interlaced together.

"'Morning." It is Soojung who speaks first.

"Good morning. Sleep well?"

"Never better." Soojung smiles. She rolls to the side and make a small space between them, propping her head against one hand while the other reaches out to brush off Mijoo's cheek. Waking up to Mijoo by her side like this really reminds of their roommates days, there's still that same warm sleepy eyes, lazy grin spreading across the younger's face....

Soojung blinks few times, inspectng her hand.

Her small hand.

And Mijoo's face.

Right in front of her.

"Mijoo! We— We are back!" She sits up hastily, then grabs Mijoo's shoulder so she can give her a vigorous shake. "We are back to normal!"

"Yes! Oh thank god!" No more hesitation, Mijoo launches herself at Soojung, tightly wrapping her arms around the smaller figure.

"Gosh. Turns out I still love you better when you're yourself." Her voice's muffled as she continues burying her head into the crook of Soojung's neck, taking in every single thing about her; the slighty sloppy shoulders which always carry lots of burden, the smooth hair that's been growing back longer recently, the small of her back that fits perfectly into Mijoo's embrace. Yep, this is absolutely Lee Soojung whom Mijoo loves so much.

"Same here, Mijoo."

They separate a few inches apart, foreheads still connected, and eyes locked with each other's. Soojung hands easily slide up to cup Mijoo's jaw on her palms, then she pulls her in for another searing kiss.

———————

The rest of Lovelyz come back at nine sharp, and judging by the deserted looking living room, they figure Soojung and Mijoo haven't managed to get themselves out. Or maybe they didn't even try, Jiae thought. If everything went along accordingly with the scenario she's got in mind.

"Don't you think we are too mean for locking them up like this?" Jiyeon says, eyeing Yein and Myungeun who've been giggling and whispering presumably inappropriate things regarding their leader and Mijoo. Kids nowadays...

"Like I'd care.. If this could bring those two together and resolve the sexual tension between them then it's gonna be a damn heyday for me!" Jiae exclaims, mouth filter already discarded to hell. "I've been constantly watching over them for six years! Give me a break!"

They skid to a halt right in front of the door on Jiae's command despite Little Sujeong's desperate whine about how tired she is and all she wants right now is just to sleep on her own bed. The eldest holds up her hand, signaling everyone to wait while she's inclining her ear against the wall in attempt to get a clue of whatever's happening in the other side.

"So, what are you hearing? Are they in the middle of making out session?" Yein asks smoothly, defying her unnies glares.

As she's listening with full concentration, Jiae's cheeks starting to color. "Uh. I think it's best for us to come back few hours later." She scampers away from the door with scandalized expression.

"Let's go! Go!" She glares especially at their maknae, who's still so petulantly trying to eavesdrop.

"Wait!" Sujeong cries out suddenly, turning around like she's remembering something very important. "We should stop them, they’re probably doing it on the bottom bunk! I just washed my bedcover yesterday! Oh my god!"

"It's too late. Unnie will buy you new sheets, Sujeong-ah. C'mon!" Jiae makes a high-pitched wheezing noise, using all her strength dragging Sujeong away before the tall girl manage to jog back to her own room.

"Nooooo my beddddddd!"

———————

#fic

[manicfiasco]

TW-suicide-self harm-depression

This is a long one, will insert a cut at some point. 

I have been feeling.. more life a human? For the past few days. I have been Trying™ very hard the past week to get back on to a normal sleep-wake schedule and to function around the house and with the people that live with me in a more “normal” way. Then of course, the day we were supposed to accomplish things, I ended up being so tired I went and slept until 7pm and have now spent the past two days right back on my usual backwards schedule. Maybe I put too much on myself at once?? As soon as I think that I immediately get angry though… Like, DEAL with it. Why on earth should it have been “too much” to just function like everyone else around here does?

 When I come off as a perfectionist, or when I seem “bossy”, or when I am expressing disappointment that yet again I have to correct how someone did something, or when I feel like everyone I live with is just SO LAZY and SO SLOPPY…. I know I seem horrible… even when I try to be so nice about how I say things… but I just don’t think anyone realizes that I hold myself to much higher standards than I hold them. And they can’t even meet those… and I am SO MUCH HARDER on myself than I will ever be on someone else. I am not ever asking for more than I am willing to do myself. Which is saying something considering some days I can barely get out of bed. If I can clean up after myself and treat my things properly when I am so depressed I’m ready to die anytime now, WHY CAN’T THEY when they are healthy??????

Got off track… The point is… I am so hard on myself… I don’t dare let myself thing that I tried to do too much. I tried to recover? Too fast….I can’t let myself believe that for a minute. Maybe I am just a night person? Why can’t I sleep at night and be up in the day? My whole entire life???? Even as a child when I had an 8pm bedtime… I was an insomniac. I had no radio or tv or internet or cell phone back then… and I just laid there… Until the sun came up and it was time to drag my ass through my classes…. Then I would crash and sleep for ages on the weekends, or sometimes after school…. I am so inclined to sleep on this schedule… Why?

I made a schedule… that literally has every hour of the day of each day of the week planned along with a daily weekly and monthly chore list.. and I have yet to go through it once. Not because it is unrealistic. In fact, I find it soothing to have it all planned out like that, and I allow for changes in my schedule when things happen or need more or less attention, but still the issue is that I just cannot stop sleeping. Then, when I am awake… I just want to go back to bed and I have no motivation to start my list of things… and to be honest a lot of it is the fact that I have a certain houseguest…  But that should not stop me from what I am wanting to do, and that is the current situation so I need to figure out a way to deal with it because NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE knows or understands me or my issues like I do and NO ONE cares to try and learn or understand about them as much as I do and if this were any other group of people, I shouldn’t care so much because let’s face it, in life no one cares as much about you as YOU do, but these 2 people in particular SHOULD give a damn about me and my issues… they should WANT TO LEARN and care and help ME and to help THEMSELVES deal with me. And I am NOT saying I am a burden or that I should feel any less of a person because they have to deal with me but I will admit that it is HARD to live with someone with mental illnesses sometimes and if they just cared enough to try and learn more about it, they would be so much more capable to help me and help themselves.

Sometimes I wonder if they are just too thick… I wonder if they think I am just dramatic? I wonder if they just think that when I calmly sit down and try and give them links to mental health websites or infographics on fact about my diagnosis that I am just making excuses… because they come from a family that doesn’t really believe in mental illnesses… they are the people that think all kids who hurt themselves are looking for attention, that all people who kill themselves were stupid and looking for attention, that depressed people are just lazy… that anxious people need to just calk down and stop making such a big deal about everything… They come from THOSE kinds of people… They come from a family that HAS mental health issues, I recognize them immediately… but they don’t believe it ??? and never get help??? It’s all very strange… Anyway… My point is… No one will ever care as much as I care…. And that is fine for 99.99999% of the population… But… this little tiny part of the population… I think they should care. When my friends or family are in trouble…. I learn and I research and I do my best to help. I pour myself into learning what I don’t know so I can understand.. I never ask more of others than I ask of myself… Why can’t they just do this??? On their own?? Why don’t they want to??? Why don’t they want to help???

Selfish… It is no one’s job but my own to help myself… and no one truly CAN help me but me.. I know that… I know that I am the only one who can truly help myself… but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be nice to have someone understand, a team of people who are educated and invested in my and helping me when I fail and fall.. and recognizing when I am hiding things… and understanding when I am being s shitty person.

Again… selfish… It is not anyone’s job.. and there is never an excuse for me to be shitty to other people.. This is very hard… and I am sad.. I just can’t DON’T always do the right thing. Then I think… would they finally understand if I died? Would they finally wish they had educated themselves if I killed myself??? Then I laugh.. because it’s funny… because I KNOW the answer… is no… They would not. I could literally write it in a letter and they would say, “wow… she killed herself to get a point across… How selfish how sad… what a cry for attention.” Although, dying will never make anyone understand anything and I know that and that is not a good enough reason to die, but it was the best example I could think of. I can think of many reasons to die, and that will never be one of them. Anyway…

I am wide awake. It will be midnight soon. I just want to wake up and see the sun and follow my schedule and be a happy little clam and get back on track with my life and accomplish my goals, and feel good about everything. My neck hurt, my shoulders hurt, my back hurts, my jaw hurts.. I’ve been clenching my teeth again I guess… I never notice till I hurt.. My hair is even irritating me… I feel every single discomfort on my body right now.. I caught myself clenching my teeth.. now the war begins to stop it. I don’t want to take a pain killer, I wish I was just tired. I wish my brain was as tired as my body. I guess I should stop this here since it is now longer than some fanfics… I usually feel better after writing these, maybe because I usually end up talking through something in my head but I feel shitty still… and I think maybe it is because I still feel uncared for. And then I feel guilty for that. Then I get mad. Then…. It’s a cycle.

#Suicide #self harm #depression #FiascoBlogs #ManicFiascoDiary #mental health #mental illness #actuallymentallyill #borderline personality disorder #bpd #actuallybpd