#anyways I’m not writing tonight

[flowercrowngods]

based on this concept of steve and mike coming out to each other

🤍 also on ao3

The sun is setting in beautiful hues of pink and purple, tinging the town of Hawkins, Indiana, in a light of serenity and beauty it doesn’t really deserve. Steve’s hands are gripped tight around the steering wheel as he carefully scans the road and the houses he passes.

He almost misses the bike where it’s lying on the curb, carelessly discarded by the looks of it, and a tinge of worry shadows his frown. Worry that doesn’t quite dissipate when he spots the figure sitting on the roof, almost black against the lilac colour of the sky, but he breathes a sigh of relief. He considers grabbing the radio to let the others know he found Mike, but decides against it. Something tells him that maybe they’ll take a while. Something tells him there’s more to Will’s stunned silence and Mike’s sudden departure from where they were all hanging out at Steve’s after another successful Hellfire session. 

With a sigh, Steve cuts the engine and gets out of the car, keeping his eyes on Mike the whole time — ready for him to take off again, ready to go sit a while and wait for him to come back. But Mike doesn’t move, even after he shuts the door and approaches the Wheelers’ house. He doesn’t acknowledge Steve when he pulls himself up to the roof, easier this time than the first time he did this. 

There’s a snide comment in the air between them, a version of Mike that would have lashed out at him, made fun of and insulted him. But this one just sits there, hands in his lap, frown on his face, and stares ahead. 

“What do you want,” he asks eventually, though it doesn’t have the kind of heat that Steve expects. He barely even sounds like a teenager. Just sort of… dejected. Steve aches for him; just a little bit. 

“Just making sure you’re alright,” Steve says, shrugging, looking ahead as well so Mike doesn’t feel watched. Or seen, maybe. 

Because the thing is, Steve does see him. He sees the way he looks at Will sometimes, and the way his eyes fill with something that can only be described as yearning, or aching, followed by regret and fear. Which always, always turn into anger. Into frustration. Into snide comments and rolled eyes and walls that keep getting an inch added to them each day. It’s never directed at Will, that anger, and rarely at the rest of the Party, but Steve still sees it. Gets the worst of it and takes it, because he knows something about how that feels. 

He knows something about looking at someone like that, about feeling that fear, that regret, that worry that come with it. He knows something about never really daring to meet someone’s eyes for fear of what they would see. 

“I’m alright,” Mike says, sounding anything but. There’s a bitterness in his voice. Frustration in the way his thumb is picking at the skin of his fingers. Confusion in the tension of his shoulders, and Steve feels like he only needs to make one wrong move, say one wrong word, make a single sound that’s off key to the melody of this moment, and Mike will jump off the roof and take off again with his bike. 

So all he says, after a moment’s consideration, is, “Cool.” Like he believes him. Giving Mike room to breathe, room to pretend. He knows something about that, too. 

He knows and he sees and he feels. 

And suddenly he wants to say something he’s never said before, something he didn’t even get to tell Robin because she knew and saw and felt, too, taking something from him that he hasn’t yet been ready to reclaim for himself. 

And maybe it’s because he sees something of himself in the way Mike holds himself, in the way he snaps at anyone willing to listen, in the way he frowns in regret and barely meets anyone’s eyes except when it’s in challenge — and, most of all, in the way he never, never meets Will’s eyes. In the way he looks away when the other boy turns to him, and in the way his eyes will snap back and take in everything about his best friend when he’s not aware of it. 

Maybe it’s because the sky is pink and lilac and purple above them, allowing for a certain magic to happen, allowing for a bravery that doesn’t come easy to him; but as he sits on the roof next to Mike Wheeler, the only one of the Party he never really connected with, he closes his eyes against the breeze that catches in his hair and opens his jacket a little further, slithering beneath the fabric as if in a brief embrace, a nudge, a sign to take this leap, and takes a deep breath. 

His heart is picking up its pace inside his chest, taking this leap along wit him, and pulls up one of his legs to wrap his hands around it — just to have something to hold onto. 

He opens his mouth once, twice, three times, but the words never really come out. They don’t know how, and he’s beginning to tremble a little with it, tension building in his chest where the words are still locked away, hidden among layers of truth. 

Mike looks over with a frown and eyes him warily. It makes Steve want to laugh, this sudden change of pace, but he just keeps staring ahead; even when Mike asks, “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” Steve says. And then then dam is broken and breaking further, and with another deep breath, still not meeting Mike’s eyes, instead focusing on the tree tops in the distance that shine in hues of purple, he finally says, “I’m kind of dating Eddie Munson.” 

And just like that, it’s out. He’s out. 

He doesn’t know if the world still spins, if time still passes, if he still breathes, because for a moment there is only silence. Mike stops picking at the skin of his fingers, Steve stops trembling, and neither of them moves. 

It’s both anticlimactic and momentous, this silence between them when their eyes meet. When the words unfold and grow wings, when Mike understands, his eyes growing big with something that Steve can’t quite read with how tense he is despite his best efforts. 

The silence stretches between them, surpassing comfort and overstaying its welcome, and suddenly it’s Steve who feels like he’s about to take off if Mike so much as twitches his brows. 

“You… What?” 

Forget it, Steve wants to say. Nothing. 

But also, I’m in love with Eddie Munson. And I used to be in love with Nancy. And that’s okay. Both of that, it’s okay. 

He ends up repeating his words, though, because they know what it’s like to be spoken now. “Eddie. I’m kind of dating Eddie.” 

“But…” It’s Mike now whose mouth is opening and closing without saying anything. Mike who’s blinking, trembling a little, twitching, picking at his skin again, moving further along his hand this time to pinch the skin between his thumb and pointer finger. Steve almost reaches out to stop him, but he doesn’t really dare to. 

“But?” he prompts after a while, not quite comfortable with this loaded kind of silence. 

“Eddie’s a boy.” 

But Tammy Thompson is a girl. 

“I know,” Steve says, his tone carefully neutral, wanting to see, to wait where Mike takes this, to hear what’s on his mind, to watch the wheels turn and the gears shift. He feels awfully raw and open, vulnerable with someone who hasn’t been treating that with care yet. But there’s something about this moment that feels bigger than his own fears, bigger than the light nausea settling in his gut; far more important than the way he wants to run and hide, away from the scrutiny. 

“And…” Mike continues, still battling the words inside his head. Steve wonders if there are too many or none at all. “But you… You loved Nancy.” 

Ah. Smart boy. “I did,” Steve says with a small smile. “And it was never a lie. But I found that… Yeah, I can kinda like boys, too, y’know? And that’s, like, okay.”

A beat. A frown. A confused, hopeful, small, “It is?” 

Steve just nods, smiling in reassurance and relief at equal measures. Silence settles once more, now that the sky has darkened into a deeper, darker blue; but it’s not as loaded this time, not as tense. It’s an invitation. An offering. A promise of I’m here, I’m with you, you can take as long as you need. To get down from the roof, to come back, to come out of wherever you think you need to hide from the world. 

Mike takes it. He stays, pulling up his leg, too, mirroring Steve’s pose and staring ahead, but not as far away. He seems alert, seems to be thinking rather than dwelling, seems to be gearing up for something. Steve watches and sees and knows, remaining patient beside him, his chin resting on his knee as Mike learns to deal with this new world that has been presented to him. This new world that comes with opportunities and chances and possibilities that are scary and big and difficult to make. 

“Y’know,” Mike starts at last, interrupting the silence, playing with it, his voice hushed and quiet to keep it from disappearing completely. “Lucas, when he had that championship game? He told us, Dustin and me, that we didn’t have to be the losers this time. The nerds. The outcasts. Different. And all I wanted was to scream at him, because…” 

Mike swallows his words, keeping them from tumbling out of his mouth, and Steve aches for him again. He wants to reach out, wants to say it’s okay, tell him it’s alright, to take his time. But he waits in silence, lets Mike find the bravery he needs on his own, and waits. 

“Because how could he say that, you know? How could he, when… Will wasn’t there. And all I did, all I ever did anymore, was miss him. And I loved El, I knew I did. And she was gone, too, but…” 

He trails off again, and this time Steve picks it up. To let him know he’s not alone. To let Mike know he understands what he’s saying. He understands. “But she’s not Will. You needed Will.” 

“But I shouldn’t!” Mike explodes suddenly, riled up because Steve adds fuel to the fire, because Steve has that same fire, too; and because they are so, so similar when they want to be. “And now he’s back and it should be fine, I shouldn’t be feeling like this, it doesn’t even make sense! How can I…” 

Steve looks at him, at his expression that is nothing but lost — completely and utterly. He’s seen it on the bathroom floor at the mall; high out of his mind as he was, he’ll never forget the way Robin looked at him, the sheer crestfallen expression. All that confusion, all that fear and frustration and, in the end, resignation. He’s seen it in the mirror, and he’s seen it in those pretty brown eyes that he just can’t get out of his head anymore. 

He offers, gently, “How can you need him when he’s right there? How can you love him when a year ago you loved El?”

And Mike just looks at him before he deflates completely, his shoulders falling along with his face. He nods. Shrugs. Looks away and hides his face behind his leg. 

Steve sighs softly, watching the boy and speaking the words he wants to say the sixteen year-old version of himself. “I don’t know,” he says truthfully. “I really don’t, and it sucks sometimes, having this need to, like, decide. Or understand. Or stop and be like the rest of them.” Like Robin and Eddie, or like the rest of the world. “But I like to think, sometimes, that maybe it’s a good thing. That there’s just… I don’t know, it sounds corny as hell, but like, there’s just so much love to give, we can’t even stick to only boys or girls, y’know.” 

“That does sound real corny as fuck, man,” Mike says, and back is that long suffering tone of his, back is that eye roll and the twitching elbow, ready to nudge Steve in the side. It’s still tinged with that vulnerability, not quite Mike yet, but it’s an offering.

One of many tonight, it seems.

Steve grins, a bit lopsided and raw, shoving Mike gently as he remembers something he overheard once. “Sorry, mister Heart of our group, but I don’t think you have any leg to stand on here.”

That makes Mike freeze, though, and he stares at Steve wide-eyed; caught. Exposed. Reminded.

“What did you say?”

“Uh,” Steve falters, not sure where he went wrong — or if he went wrong at all. “I overheard Will calling you that, talking about you to, uhm. Someone. I don’t know. Why, what’s— What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Mike says, way too quickly, pulling away again with everything he has, hiding behind those walls once more, and Steve feels whiplash from it.

“Mike,” he says, his voice quiet and gentle as he turns to face him completely.

“No.”

“It’s okay,” Steve says. Promises, as much as he can.

“Shut up!”

“You’re not wrong or bad or broken. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“I said, shut up, Steve.”

“You should see the way he looks at you, too. You should go talk to him. You—“

Mike lashes out, finally coming out from behind those walls again, only to shove at Steve, to push him away — hard enough for him to lose his balance and almost fall off the roof, clenching one hand on the edge, the other in the rainwater gutter with a bitten-off curse.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” Mike reaches for him immediately, snapping out of whatever anger Steve caused, and pulling him back until he’s safe again, apologising over and over, dead to Steve’s promises that it’s alright. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Steve, I’m so—“

He pulls Mike against his chest, finally reaching out to hold the boy who always pushes people away when they get too close — quite literally, too.

But he doesn’t shove this time, doesn’t move out of Steve’s grasp as the mumbled apologies become heaving sobs.

“It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re so okay, Mike,” Steve tells him over and over as he holds him. The sky above is almost black now and Steve lets Mike cry into his chest.

It takes a while for Mike to calm down, but Steve just holds him through it, ready to let go whenever Mike wants to pull back and snap out of it again — but he never does, and Steve feels a certain kind of affection for the boy that is usually reserved for Lucas or Dustin.

At last, when he’s calmed down, Mike pulls back a little. “Do you really… Does it… Is it really okay?”

Can it be okay? Can I really like both? Is that not just me, being broken and wrong and bad? Will I get the chance to not be alone?

Steve swallows hard, and his voice is hoarse when he says, “Yeah. It’s really okay. ‘N’ I’m with you, yeah? If someone gives you shit for it. Or if you need a reminder.”

And Mike — puffy eyed, snotty nosed, so, so young — looks at him with those trusting eyes and nods, like he believes Steve. Like he trusts him. Like he hopes.

“Just don’t fucking shove me off your roof again.”

Ans just like that, the spell is broken, the tension is lifted, and silence has left them, as Mike almost chokes on a laugh and shoves at him again, lightly this time, before jumping off the roof so Steve can’t retaliate.

“Asshole,” he mutters, shaking his head as he, too, jumps off the roof, dusting off his pants as he watches Mike grabbing his bike. “Hey, Micycle,” he calls, cackling when Mike flips him the bird. “You want a ride back?”

Mike stops, considering as Steve casually flicks his keys into the air and catches them expertly. “What kinda music do you got?”

“The Clash, ‘cause Eddie hates them.”

“Yeah, that’s because they suck!”

Steve snorts, opening the driver’s side door. “Y’know, they’re one of Will’s favourites, actually.”

He watches Mike freeze with a grin on his face, knowing there’s no way the boy would take the bike.

“You’re so annoying,” Mike sighs as he brings his bike close to the garage and carefully lays it on the grass this time before hurrying over to Steve, getting in on the front, rolling his eyes when Steve cackles. “I don’t know why Eddie would date you—“

His words are drowned out when Steve turns up Train in Vain, drumming along on the steering wheel with a shit eating grin. Though the atmosphere is wildly different now, the spell broken and the bubble burst, it’s undeniable that something happened between them. Something big, something important.

Something that makes Mike’s annoyed, long-suffering expression be broken by the smile he’s trying to hide. It makes Steve laugh, elated and feeling something that’s much, much bigger than he himself ever could be.

It’s going to be okay. So, so okay.

Before they know it, they’re pulling up to Steve’s and he turns off the car, is about to get out when Mike makes him still again.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Hm?”

“I think it’s cool. You and Eddie.”

He smiles, relief and fondness washing over him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” He reaches over and ruffles Mike’s hair — a wild mane these days, but they could make it work with some care and some products. “Now go get your man, lover boy.”

“God, you suck so much, you’re so annoying!”

Steve’s cackling again when the passenger door slams shut and Mike lets himself into his house.

He spots a figure in the dark, their face lighting up when they take a drag of a cigarette — and Steve’s heart stumbles in his chest. He scrambles to get out, attempting to look calm and collected, even though Eddie always manages to see right through him.

“Hello, stranger,” he says, leaning against the wall beside Eddie, hiding away in the dark, where the world won’t see their shoulders touch, or their fingers tentatively playing with each other before they can’t take it no longer and lace their hands, holding on tight.

“Hi,” Eddie breathes. “How’d it go?”

“Fine, I think. But, uhm… I told him. About me. About us. That, uh. That okay?”

Even in the dark, Steve can feel eyes on him, but he just stares ahead, opting instead to give his warm hand a squeeze. He smiles when Eddie’s thumb begins to draw patterns on his palm.

“Hmm. Very. You think they’ll be okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve breathes, stealing Eddie’s cigarette from his mouth and pulling it between his own lips. “Yeah, I think they will be.”

#steve & mike #steve harrington #mike wheeler #steddie #byler #pre-relationship byler #real hesitant to use the pairing tags tho 🥺😭 #this kinda ran away from me i feel like i’m gonna have to try again with better words but here’s what i got for a first try #i write this whole 3.2k words thing tonight it is 2am i should proofread this but i have a lecture early in the morning i get 5h of sleep #(but only if i fall asleep right this instant which. ain’t happening chief. anyway uh depression era words? #dio words #and yes the bisexual light of this whole scene is important thanks for asking

[thevioletcaptain]

i make a nickel / boss makes a buck / so at work i write fic / where the characters fuck

idk is this anything?

#fanfic #fandom #cass writes fic #also i just saw i have a few messages here will get to them after work #but the general answer to most of them is that i’m gonna update tonight #the next chapter got…. large #like 19k oops #anyway better stop sneakyposting under the counter #and get back to sneakywriting under the counter

[padfootastic]

if you’re writing james & sirius in a way that atleast one person doesn’t ask ‘are those two dating’ then sorry but that’s actually two random OCs with familiar names

#sirius black #james potter #i am having all the thoughts tonight aren’t i #but this is just canon tbh #i’m reading a james/remus fic where r asks j if him and s are together #and it hit me. how right thwt felt. #every new person (and some old) need to do that #bc u never know #bc they’re closer than actual partners #but yeah #this is a litmus test for writing accurate james & sirius #if u care ab that sort of thing ofc #if not—go wild but use the ooc tag #mighty helpful that one #anyway yeah i’ll take my leave now #pen’s notes #edit: just saw that the fic is from 2015 and suddenly it all makes sense

[crybaby-bkg]

wanna teach virgin Bakugou how to kiss and watch the confused scrunch of his eyebrow when he suddenly cums in his pants after sucking on his tongue and licking up the leftover spit sliding down his chin 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

#I was gonna write tonight #but my eyes burn BC IM SO SLEEPY #but refuse to sleep rn bc I’m too invested in shipping p*rn on twt lol #anyway I love this man #and vow to finish my therapist reader fic for him tomorrow (possible lie) #wish me some inspiration #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #bakugou treats! 🍬

[m1d-45]

Let it be known that I love writing fluff, and I listen to character audios sometimes. SO! I came up with a cute idea for sagau imposter au. I heard somewhere that Xiao's adeptus form is a bird, so I wonder, what kind of bird? And that got me thinking. Xiao being a little song bird, or perhaps even a cardinal.

Now imagine: while looking for the imposter, Xiao stumbles upon them sitting beneath a tree, just feeding some birds. Said birds are absolutely loving the attention since the creator of Teyvat is giving them food and love!

Xiao watches, rather curious. The creator he knows hates birds, because they always dive and cause problems for them. But now... these little birds have completely abandoned any fear they may hold for human beings, happily landing on the hands and shoulders of this supposed imposter.

So he decides to test something.

Xiao turns into a small bird and approaches cautiously. In his smaller form, he's vulnerable to attack. But the person before him doesn't try to hurt him. Rather, they smile and call him "little friend" as they offer food to him. In his distrust, he bites them with his sharp beak.

His heart shatters when he sees divine blood spilling from the wound.

He's about to fly away, get as far away from here as he can. He found the true creator, and instead of worshipping them, he bit them! He caused them to bleed, he shouldn't even be near them-!

His mind stills when they pet his feathered head.

They murmur kind words to him, apologizing to him. They believed that they had startled him, that he bit to protect himself. They forgave him, they felt no hatred towards him, no anger or disappointment. Instead, they offered some chopped almonds, hoping he'd prefer that over bird seed.

He sang for them as he perched on their shoulder.

After that, he did his best to secretly protect the creator he'd harmed. He would adopt his smaller form and sing for them when they felt sad, and he'd use his human form to guard them from a distance. Yes, it made his chest ache whenever they looked at him with fear when they saw his more human form, but the yaksha only shook it off. It only made sense that you'd be scared. He was a frightening person, one that had tried to harm you before. He refused to try and change your feelings towards him. He didn't have the right.

He would be content to sing for you as a harmless bird.

-sibling anon (sorry if this is out of character for him I just like the idea)

oh….. he’s so soft…..

xiao hovering near the edge of the crowd, at first, drawing your attention since he doesn’t seem to be eating any of the seed you’d passed out.

when he finally hops within arms reach, you reach to nudge some of the food next to him closer, only to quickly whip your hand back. the birds around (on) you all flutter at the sudden movement, but you inspect your finger, the blue blood of teyvat welling up. your instinct is to stick it in your mouth, but that doesn’t seem safe considering a bird bit it, so you dab at it with a napkin.

the bird cries and flaps his wings, distraught, and your heart hurts. poor guy, you probably scared him, moving so quickly.

you pull out some chopped almonds from your pocket. the plan was to have them as a snack, but now… you put a few in your palm and close your hand around it, reaching forward to gently run two fingers over the birds back.

the other birds in the area seemed receptive to that, and this one does too, calming down considerably.

you take your hand back, opening your palm to drop the almonds on the floor, nudging them close before backing off.

“there you go,” you murmur, as the bird dips down to inspect the food. “i won’t hurt you.”

you allow yourself a silent cheer when it eats one of the almond pieces.

you see the small bird fluttering around you often, always on the edge of your vision. it’s easy to identify, the purple patch of feathers on its forehead easily standing out, and you’re always certain to push some food over to it. almonds, not birdseed.

the bird is a dark blue-teal, the underside of its wings a softer blue. it’s like no other bird you’ve seen in liyue, something that quickly catches your attention.

you brush some dirt off you as you stand, noting the way the bird immediately looks up from its food, unlike the others, to flap up into the tree you were sitting under.

you crack a smile, carefully reaching a finger for it. you’re slower this time, cautious of its skittish nature, but it lets you approach. when you carefully pet over its head, the birds eyes close.

your smile grows, and you try not to laugh at how confused the bird seems when you pull your hand away.

“i have to go,” you explain. “the millelith… they’re getting too close again. i won’t be able to see you again, little friend.”

the bird chirps, nearly indignant, and you do laugh this time. putting a small piece of almond on the branch in front of it, you wave goodbye to the other birds, seeing the blue one hadn’t touched the almond.

you frown. hopefully it’ll be alright….

xiao watches you until you’re out of sight, and even then, he stays on the branch.

you…. he’d forgotten you were being hunted by the millelith. he’d forgotten the order to look out for you. he’d forgotten the qixing called you a criminal.

who could blame him? it was easy to forget everything at your side, when you carefully ran your fingers over his feathers, scratching at his jaw with the edge of your nail. yes, he was vulnerable as a bird, but it was easy to be vulnerable with you. it was easy to be open, to sing as best he could in this form, to allow himself close enough to see the way your eyes lit up whenever another bird landed on your outstretched finger.

xiao dropped to the ground, morphing back into his human form. predictably, the birds cawed and flew away quickly. he watched them go, his mind contrasting it with how readily they flocked to you.

you…

he turned to the branch he was on, to the small almond piece left behind. the small symbol of your care, of how you recognized that he didn’t touch the birdseed and instead offered him your own food to eat. normally he wouldn’t lower himself to eating off the ground at all, let along bird food, but almonds weren’t awful and you seemed so happy when he ate..

xiao looked back to where you’d gone, to the sandbearer trees swaying in a soft wind.

he allowed his form to fall away and spread his wings, taking flight on the same breeze that urged you along.

perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little while longer, if it meant he could spend that time with you.

perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little longer, if it meant he’d get to spend that time with you.

#m1d : [chats] #m1d : [secrets] #sibling anon #bird!xiao shenanigans #btw he’s pretty in character #you can add a dash of a ‘mysterious calm in the air’ if you wanna be certain but he’s oretty pretty good as is #also! let it be known that i too like fluff!! #< been meaning to write a piece based on hugs ppl would give for a while now #dilucs near the top of the list which is kinda funny considering the shit i’m (hopefully) gonna pot tonight #post* whoop #post-valentines day sadness #this got WAY too long #forgive the old format i wasn’t gonna try n find more photos of liyue than i already have #writing this was hell. thanks tumblr. i really appreciate you glitching out my drafts. #i’m trying to save my writer energy to wrap up dilucs piece COME ON I DONT NEED THIS #had to write this on the website version of tumblr ugh. dislike. #anyway debating adding this to the masterlist bc it’s… so nice… #the vibes….. immaculate…. #TUMBLR DELETED HALF MY FUCKING WRITING WHEN IT HIT POST WHAT THE FUCK #THIS IS WHY I WRITE ELSEWHERE THEN COPY PASTE TO THIS HELL #FUCK. IT WAS SO GOOD. WHY. #the last half of xiao’s part at the end is the bad shittier version of what i had written originally #i am bitter. but i guess i’ll have to die mad abt it. #ugh. #it cut off the last paragraph AGAIN WHY #hate. >:( #also mushroom anon send help one of my mutuals is doing a letter event in celebration of his 1k what do i do #ok it’s his 800 celebration but STILL HELP #whatever fuck it i’m done trying to get this to work #fuck it we ball

[gaylittleguys]

ok I know people have written/talked about Ginger Snaps (2000) as a trans allegory from Ginger’s perspective but when I first watched it I read it as a trans-allegory horror from Brigitte’s perspective. More along the vein of being a transmasc teenager and seeing female puberty and the transformations that come from that as horrifying, and fearing that happening to you too.

#go read Logan Ashley Kisners why did you feed the wolf #its writing is really good go read his work anyways #idk why this is on my mind tonight it’s been a while since I’ve watched the movie #I’m not being coherent but. #the vibes are there #I’ve got more thoughts on this but I’ve tried writing this out and I just repeat myself so #trust me bro I know #ginger snaps #horror #.doc #werewolves

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ok so i’m technically done w the fic but :’3 i feel very… unsure…. abt it…….. so i think i might get some sleep for now and look over it properly tmrw before posting……

next week i’ll post a fic early though!!!!! mindless sugu hurt/comfort time >:3

#rem if you see this i’m hugging you so tightly ily T—T #i think i’m so wired to the idea that i can only post on weekends that i . Forget. that i’m physically capable of waiting a day #you rlly snapped me out of it like actually. the effect my mutuals have on me needs to be studied i think #but aaaaa i just. really need to get better at taking my time with fics </3 #usually i end up writing them all under the span of like. a day/night. which is very bad and the fics deserve better #hhh but i do feel very bad abt not writing much lately :((( next week it’ll just be a selfindulgent argument fic phdjddhdh #anyway anyway…. to whoever sees this. i hope you have the sweetest dreams tonight!! #mwah mwah mwah!!!! #ari noises ✩

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

💌 just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who’s left such lovely feedback on my latest chapter of four walls. it’s been a weird and emotionally draining week for me, and getting to come back after a long day and read all your kind words has been such a solace. it’s truly hard to put into words how much it means when people connect with something you’ve created (and i’m far too exhausted to even attempt it tonight), but trust me when i say nothing grounds me and keeps me writing through all the difficult stuff more than knowing that what i’m creating means something to people other than just me. thank you so much for your generosity in sharing that with me via your lovely comments and feedback 💌

#friendly reminder to leave comments on the fics you enjoy #it means the world to all of us writing them 💜 #also sorry if this is totally incoherent #i’m so exhausted and overwhelmed tonight i feel like i could fall into bed and sleep for the next 48 hours #but i just wanted to share this because it’s been something i’ve been so thankful for all week 💗 #i can’t wait to get stuck into finishing the next chapter for posting this weekend #i know there’s been a lot of slow build but… well #what it’s building to is very close now #and i’m so excited to share it with you!! #anyway i’ll stop rambling now #i’m going to drink tea and watch hannibal and try and have an early night #thank you and sorry to anyone who’s read through all of this nonsense 😅 #i need to stop posting on tumblr when i should probably just go to sleep lol #four walls #lulu posts

[catastrxblues]

ajsjdkssjdjdnsnxjxjjxdkdksksndndndjxjxjuxhdhdenekekwkeowodkdmdkseiejnddnwkwoqisyxysjsjsjsjsjsjsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsmsmkssjnenwnwwjejeueieiekwkwkwkekememenendjdjdj

#so many things #this is one my ways to let it out <3 #i have a chem thing tomorrow and i’m screaming inside (1) #i have to review and practice lots of the material because i’m still very much BAD at it all in one night :TONIGHT (2) #i dread the moment next week starts when i’m back in my normal schedule of classes again because wooho look what i’ve reaped from those fiv #days of dispensation!!!! absolutely nothing. (3) #anyways. i also. have started liking on an actual real life person again for some reason and it’s been a torture #but i’ve been trying not to think about it (lie) (i think about it way too much & actually have started writing about it & it’s eughh) (4) #i have plenty of regret playing in my head over and over (5) #i’m pretty sure a certain person dislikes me and that it’s actually justified because oh my godd :/ (6) #okay goodbye 🫶🏽 #chem tag #got lovestruck went straight to my head #nadirants #OH AND ALSO #i already feel nostalgic about the people i have just become close with this week ://///(7)

[elliesbelle]

okay fine. i’ll write smut again.

#partly cause why not lol it could work in this fic i’m writing rn #but partly y’all only engage in our stuff when there’s smut in it it seems :/ #anyway lemme see if i can finish this one shot tonight #belle speaks

[dollsuguru]

you know what

#me @ me bc i keep deleting everything i write/just Stare at my drafts w/o writing anything and i need to just get over it and WRITE #like i keep thinking that it has to be somewhat decent the first time but i read somewhere and it’s just now popped into my mind that -> #it’s better to write roughly/shittily and then go back to it later to spruce up bc at least then you WROTE something #the definition of something is better than nothing #i’m gonna do that now otherwise these drabbles will never see the light of day #and i DO like the things i inputted (like the acts of smut they’re gonna do) #and i like my visuals :3 so it NEEDS 2 see the light of day 😪 #yeah fuck it before i sleep tonight i’m just gonna stream of consciousness write no matter how ugly or how much it doesn’t make sense #and just go for it!!!!! #it’s just practice anyways :3 think abt it like that @ me #personal

[tvrningout]

what if i did some surprise meme spams… are we okay with those 👀

#sometimes i don’t want to make an inbox call bc pressure kills me at times but i do wanna bug people #and i’m gonna send the asks i owe tonight before i do any writing so maaaaybe #i’ll visit some extra inboxes uvu #anyway i hope y’all are having a good day!! i ran errands and then played some bg3 hehe #trying to keep things relaxed and balanced so i don’t overwhelm myself or burn out so if i’m not around as much #it’s just bc i’m avoiding being here bc i ‘should’ be rather than being here when i wanna be #if that makes sense uvu #that being said i’ll see you nerds after dinner 💜 mwah! #get ready to ramble | ooc

[sexynetra]

Okay, I have been so busy this week but I am finally getting around to the posts I was tagged in <33333 thanks for the tag my beloved @thecollectionsof (and anyone else who tagged me in this that I might have missed during my brain vacation)

💖 A WLW ship that’s your go to for when you need to read some shameless smut

Y’all already know it’s goodecox <333 @aqpippin is the GODDESS of writing lesbian porn

❤️ Tropes in WLW fics/media that give you life

Call me problematic but I love coming out stories and stories dealing with homophobia 🤭 mutual pining ofc, drunken shenanigans. Uhhhhhh the other problematic fav of angst no comfort and someone dying because I love to be in pain

🧡 A song that heals your feels about that angsty WLW ship of yours

Uhhhhh I mean I have my whole rawnsyf playlist it’s hard to pick one 😂 recently I’ve been listening to 19 by madisenxoxo so much though

💛 A WLW writer who deserves their time in the sun (author spotlight)

I’ll be real I have not read any fic in a hot minute 😭 but you know my go to ride or dies are @thecollectionsof and @aqpippin ! Also @goodemethyd and @themetaluna write such cool stuff all the time I am in awe :)

💚 A picture of one of your fave WLW ships in nature, or in their natural habitat

(If you mention my battery percentage you’re homophobic)

🩵 Recommend a WLW fic that you think more people should read

Once again I am directing you all to bodyguard au!!!! It’s literally what made me start writing fic!!! Whoever wrote it I pray at your altar you changed my life and also I could only dream of writing something that good if I could print and bind this fic to keep on my bookshelf I would

🩵 Three colors that remind you of your OTP

💜 Thoughts on soulmates in fiction

Love :)

#I’m assuming everyone has already been tagged but feel free to do it if you haven’t :) #anyways this was fun!!! #still have mixed Marcia feelings but I’ve written too much anarcia to give up on them fully :) #tag game #tags #also hi gi I love you dearly #also everyone who put my fics on this for your posts I am kissing you with tongue!!!! #I will write more tonight so I have something to post for wip Wednesday tomorrow :) #fanfic asks #fanfic game

[chrollohearttags]

working on a couple stories right now for the faves and omg why do they make me so emotional?? hate them so bad!! 😭

#like I say I’m writing smut and now I got a whole backstory and angst #like this lil stupid drabble got me snotting #musician x influencer au #eren x black fem!reader #also why I’ll never let a bitch play on my top like I’m over here writing some shallow ass fic #aot x black reader #anyways imma finish it and might post it tonight #it’s so dumb but #they mean sum to me goddamnit

[moonlightdancer26]

Me when “Always”:

Me when “It’s you who needs me tonight”:

#‘‘it’s you who needs me tonight’’ = my happiness flying away #i’m about to sob bro they didn’t deserve their ending 😭</33 #i need to know what went through jkr’s mind while writing in their deaths #like actually what made this hoebag think she can destroy our hearts like that?? #harry potter #remadora #remus lupin #also ‘‘always’’ still makes me cry dw guys i just sob a million times more with remadora #remadora solos what can i say #anyway #i need to read remadora before i go to bed #enjoy the rest of your night y’all #nymphadora tonks #hp

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

holly black for real writes books like they’re mid movies from 2008 and it is sincerely one of the most beautiful and real things ever. the cruel prince trilogy excluded from this sentiment because i haven’t read and wouldn’t know if that’s its vibe. well that’s not true i read the cruel prince but NOT in the booktok way i read the first book when it came out when i was in high school and then i entered my illiteracy era and never read the next two. i have them, one’s even a signed copy i just haven’t had the time to get around to them and also i’m lowkey prejudiced against them because of their booktok popularity. those annoying ass people don’t even know my friends hazel and ben evans. who btw would have slayed in a low budget fantasy action comedy rated pg made in 2006 released direct to dvd with the ugliest and most captivating cgi you’ve ever seen in your life. starring some dude who was not famous at the time but became so in 2011 as the faerie prince. god i can see it now. actually to be fair this could never have been a film in 2006 because there’s gay people. if it was about two sisters tho instead of a sister and brother it would have. and nothing else about it would change and i would have watched it so many times i scratched the dvd. but well that is not the world we live in we live in the world where it’s just a book nobody has read but me by an author who’s popular for other stuff. and you know the worst part about the cruel prince getting booktok-ified? ben is literally in that book and i know none of those bitches even knew or cared. holly sets all her faerie stuff in the same universe (which is ambiguously also the same universe cassandra clare writes in. hard to explain the nuances to a fuckin newbie you had to be there) anyway. i was a holly black girl before it was cool. i was literally made fun of for reading her books and then suddenly in like 2020 faerie romance became “in” and frankly i’ve never felt more betrayed by the trend cycle as i was then. ok i was there in 2017 getting bullied by my older cousin for reading about gay faeries (lady midnight) when i was 15 and now adult women are allowed to log on to tiktok and talk about their literal fantasy porn series every day. is anything fair holy shit…

#my point was originally just meant to be that holly’s writing is culturally trapped in 2008. or it was. i don’t remember tcp being that way #anyway does anyone wanna know what i did tonight. well i’ve been cleaning but specifically something i did was take out an old box i wrote #my name on in sharpie when i was like 8 and i decided to take off the sharpie with nail polish remover. it’s a metal box so i figured it’d #work. and i did that. and then immediately felt like i had just desecrated a historical site and almost cried #and then i got out a blue sharpie and traced back over the faint outline of the letters #so. i’m doing okay 👍 #beth.txt