#anyways don't call me kid don't call me baby

[watermelonlovershigh]

i seen a trend online where the girl pretends to have a tampon stuck in her and asks her boyfriend if he's get it out. do you think you could write something like that with harry in it?

-🌼

TikTok Prank on Harry /blurb/

AN: i think that trend is very telling on what kind of partner these women have lol. love that trend but some of them i feel are staged. anyways i hope you enjoyed this and make sure to leave your feedback.

This story contains: mentions of a stuck tampon, mentions of blood, fluff, inuidos of sex at the end

{ husband!harry - softrry - no kids - current harry era }

word count: 662

You decide to do the viral tiktok trend on Harry where you tell him you got your tampon stuck and need his help removing it to see his reaction.

"Harry," you call from the bathroom, "can you come here for a second?" You'd seen this trend on TikTok where these women were pranking their boyfriends or husbands into thinking they got a tampon stuck inside of them to see if their partner would help them retrieve it or not. So of course you had to try this prank out on your husband.

A minute later the bathroom door creaks open and Harry asks, "Yeah?" once he steps fully inside. His view is of you wrapped in a towel, sitting on the closed toilet seat because you were about to take a shower. He thinks you look beautiful right now, but you'd be even more beautiful without that white fluffy towel you have wrapped around your torso.

Looking up innocently at your sweet, sweet husband, you fib, "So um, I kinda have a problem. You see, before my shower I was gonna remove my old tampon but I can't find it."

Harry looks at you with a confused expression. "What'd you mean you can't find it?"

Dragging the lie on, you continue, "The string, Harry. I went to pull it out but the string is gone. It must have went up too far inside me or something."

Now looking concerned, Harry starts, "So...." He's still slightly confused as to what you're needing him to do about your situation.

Huffing out of fake annoyance, you finally ask, "Can you help me? Like see if you can pull it out?" You're not gonna lie, you are kind of scared to know his reaction. He could be one of the sweet and generous partners you see in those videos where he's fully up for helping. Or he could be one of those partners who is disgusted by the idea of helping with that problem.

Without second thoughts, Harry steps closer to you and says, "Oh yeah, of course. Just gonna need you to tell me how far I need to reach my fingers up there." Okay, its confirmed. You did marry the perfect man. He begins to kneel in front of you and pulls his right sleeve up because he really thinks he's needing to help fish out your bloody tampon.

"Baby, baby, baby." you repeat over and over again, looking down with love in your eyes. You've got to stop the lie before it goes too far.

"What? M'gonna help you but you're gonna need to drop the towel and spread your legs." Though it sounds dirty out of context, you know Harry meant that with pure and innocent intent.

You reach forward and place your hands on his shoulders. "Baby, I was kidding. It was a prank. I don't actually have a tampon stuck inside me. I just wanted to tell you that to see if you'd actually help me if I really did have one stuck or not."

Relief washes over Harry's features because though he'd help you in a flash, he also wasn't excited about having to pull out your lost, bloody tampon. "Well of course I would've helped, love. How else would you've gotten it out, besides a trip to the doctors. I'd do anything for you."

You lean over and press a kiss to his lips which accidently makes your towel fall off your body. Harry grabs your hips to stabilize his squatting position and once the kiss turns into something more heated, you pull away and request, "Come get in the shower with me. I'm not actually on my period either."

Without much thinking, Harry quickly stands up and starts to shed his clothes off. He's never gonna pass up the offer of showering with his wife. "My love, I would have gotten in the shower with you even if you were on your period, you know." And when he's fully naked, you stand up from the toilet seat and walk hand in hand into the walk-in shower where your heated kisses continue and much, much more begins.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe140  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran

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______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

#harry styles #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fic rec #husband!harry #husbandrry #soft!harry #softrry #harry x reader #fluff #harry styles fluff #harry styles tiktok prank #tiktok prank #harry styles blurb #blurb

[authenticaussie]

Alright so I just finished Batman:TAS recently and started watching Superman:TAS and it delights me that the first episode is literally just: superman??? Who dat. This is aliens :)) (even if Brainiac does say "human error, Jor-el"). So obviously I do now have aus. Obviously <3 shout-out to @midnightluck for the Justice League, @cer-rata for Terry and @suzukiblu for Jordan + putting up with the initial ramble

So anyway Brianiac's satellite upload gets fucked up by Jor-el either in petty revenge or as an accident, and a part of Brainiac ends up on Clark's ship. The vague explanation I have is that Brainiac is the AI for everything and in TAS, Jor-el also does not realise he is "evil" and thus still uses his help as a navigator for Clark's ship while he is initially building it. The ship, however, is offline to prevent the Kryptoninan council from finding out about it, and thus, that section of Brainiac does not get taken back into the satellite upload.

As it is BARELY the 90's when the Kents find Clark after the crash, Brainiac is summarily useless thanks to the current lack of wifi, but manages to mostly teach himself English and Kal kryptonian, and decides that. >:( since they're BOTH there, they can BOTH be vestibules of kryptonian knowledge. And also Kal can get him more earth knowledge. The vibes entirely are: "Weird aspects of kryptonian culture taught by an unbodied dickhead historian" and while the argument is "but brainiac is evil!" Main brainiac is. But this is a subsection of Brainiac :) he learnt more stuff + Clark loves him soooo much.

Unfortunately. That is His baby now. He is not impressed with his baby. His baby bought him a growing chick the other day, with big sad eyes, and said the kryptonian word for fluffy!!! in such a mournful tone that Brainiac resigned himself to teaching kal about how growing up worked and that the chicken needed feathers to fly. This explanation ends with Clark collecting feathers and trying to jump off the barn roof, and he thus resolves to extend further co-parenting issues to the Kents. For his own personal convenience, of course.

It does of course ALSO mean that Brainiac, who has a loose definition of the words "surveillance state" absolutely gets in at the ground floor when the internet first starts up. Clark's influence relegates him to the background, but he is good at hiding ! So they don't realise they have an AI in the wifi! But ohhhh boy does brainiac scare a few people at first. Potentially tries to do his "i am helpful" schtick before realising he is not useful in this because he's basically just. Seems completely like a troll? He's some random person who's invaded the internet!!

However he is also the inspiration for google 😂 and calls it his younger, stupider sibling. It is also funny to me to think about earth compsci engineers having NO idea why sometimes the internet acts SO DAMN WEIRD <- brainiac's fault.

As a result though, when Clark starts up as Superman, Brainiac does NOT let the Kr project off the ground. Files are misdirected and blackmail is gathered. Until one day Kal says something sad about how he'll never be able to have a great romance, because he's terrified of telling anyone the alien thing, and that he's always thought about kids but he's kinda terrified because what if he hurts someone- and Brainiac is like ah yes wait. I shall fix this for my Only Kryptonian.

TWO kids for the price of one?!? he finds, after he goes searching, and then further prodding finds THIRTEEN children, extraordinary. Not all of them are viable because the earth scientists truly are incapable but Brainiac can fix the issues with their technology to ensure Kal has the children he wants.

"How many children did you think of, kal-el?" he asks, and Clark laughs at how kindly his friend/uncle/grandfather figure treats his silly selfishness.

"Oh, man, sometimes I think: as many as I can carry! But then- I don't want Superman to get in the way of being a good dad. Too many and I won't be there for them like I should, you know? I worry about that, I guess."

"As many as you can carry is a significant amount," Brainiac says dubiously, already imagining teaching these numerous children kryptonian culture and Also that they are Not chickens. "I do not think that can be fulfilled effectively."

Five minutes later Clark has five children and has realised his matchbox apartment and budding romance with Lois Lane are both complicated things he will now have to resolve. He's basically commuting daily to the Daily Planet from Smallville, thank god for superspeed and his endlessly patient parents, jfc

(Children I was thinking of: the destablised kon!clone from SB94/The Ravers, Kon, Match, Bizarro, and Mia. Alternatively they went old-school with Biz so Brainiac didn't get a chance to help him/he's older than the other kids when Clark finally mentions wanting kids, to Brainiac, and thus Biz ends up like. The kids' uncle. There ARE technically twelve clones before Kon. I could've given you thirteen-fifteen kids, Clark.)

Anyway this does mean that either a) when Lois finds out Kal is superman this is not his biggest secret, b) Kon rocks up as Superboy and Lois, once she finds out Clark is Superman, immediately goes: WAIT BUT SUPERBOY'S YOUR KID. ARE YOU MARRIED??? or c) everyone at the Daily Planet thinks Clark just. Got really unlucky with different people he slept with and someone in the world's wildest stroke of luck they all ended up pregnant. Because Clark Does Not mention a partner when it is eventually revealed he has kids.

He probably does keep them a secret for a while though. A) He doesn't want them to have to try and be "normal" since they're only just out of the pod and B) I feel like, weirdly, Clark is somehow that co-worker that people like. barely know anything about. You like them and they're so helpful! and good-natured! and then you get him in the office secret santa and realise you're not even 100% what his favourite colour is or if he has a pet.

Anyway, Lois: he is NOT expecting Lois to get pregnant and they have to have a Long talk about it because Brainiac is. :) Being an asshole about species compatibility and the fact that it is "not natural" for Kryptonians to be created biologically rather than properly, in a pod, and also: Clark already has five freaking kids. That's a lot of kids! Are they going to be okay having a brother that much (at least five-ten years I'm thinking, depending on if we go: Brainiac gives him multiple children of multiple ages, or multiple young children of the same age,) younger than them??? And then there's Chris, too, who rocked up just after Clark and Lois started dating, and is still pretty high needs because he only mostly speaks Kryptonian (and is lowkey terrified of Brainiac, so Clark's main babysitter is out) (also please please imagine how freaking cute the subplot of "chris realises this brainiac is not the nightmare his stories told him about; watching his new siblings do things that Brainiac would have killed them for, terrified for them because he heard the stories of how long Brainiac bided his time--)

But this is also: how many kids can we give clark, the fic, and thus they have Jon, and then Jon exhibits so many kryptonian characteristics and Lois doesn't mean to but she's a little wine drunk and says, "i love them, you know, they're all perfect, Jon's perfect, I was just- I'm terrified for him. If we raise him right he's gonna be just like his dad…and you know what? I was wanting my own little Lane. Someone to follow my footsteps. I'm feeling a bit outnumbered here, haha!"

Brainiac: hm. I will amend this. (Makes and artificially grows human!Jordan so he displays more human genetic characteristics As Lois Wants)

Brainiac: I have created Jon-el's twin for you, Lane. You are welcome.

Lois: um what

Clark: honey no you can't talk about children with Brainiac he will make more

Lois: WHAT.

Lois: OUR CO-WORKERS KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE TWINS, KENT.

Clark: …. you're gonna have to be one of those weird "I didn't know I was still pregnant" stories…. 😂

Lois: 😭 Clark you know those are only funny when they are NOT HAPPENING TO ME

Clark: you didn't know you were pregnant….. literally

Lois must engage in the gaslighting of all of her coworkers <3 What do you mean you didn't realise she had twins she's shown you both of them? Of course they look the same they're babies. Of course she always had twins. She carried them. Did you carry her babies? Of course she would know. Isn't that right, Clark? …. isn't that right, Clark?

Clark: "Where else would she'a gotten a baby from, guys? An alien?"

Brainiac: hello i have delivered the child. Where is my thanks? It has still not been conveyed? I am doing the Literal Best as the Literal Best AI ever? Excuse me? You ignore Brainiac?

Brainiac: death for one thousand humans-!!!

Martha: 🥰 Brainiac I'm so proud of you for always making sure these kids are taken care of. Giving us Jordan! Oh, you marvellous robot

Brainiac: …. acceptable, Matriarch Kent

either that or Lois shoots herself in the foot and everyone thinks Clark is STILL the man with the world's worst luck and the strongest genetics ever:

"Lois, honey…how are Jon and Jordan so close in age? If they're not twins?"

"Uh- Jordan is adopted!"

Everyone: looks at Jordan, who is Jon's splitting image

Everyone: …..okay

Anyway because this AU is wildly cliche, very obviously the Bit of Brainiac that helped Clark grow up re-integrates with Brainiac prime during a Big Dramatic Battle where all of the Superfam are getting hurt, and manages to stop/halt Brainiac prime from hurting Clark and the Kryptokids at the cost of his existence.

Jordan gets to punch it in the circuits cause he's the only one not affected by kryptonite but still has the general invulnerability. (And then Jon and/or Kon and meeting the LoSH and they realise their grandfather Brainiac has very much been continued in Brainiac 5's code :3 for an open-ish happy ending of "hey good exists forever and always regardless of heritage")

GRANDPA LEARNS LOVE AND AFFECTION.

GRANDPA CHANGES FROM GENERAL SELF SERVICE AND SELFISHNESS AND REALISES HE LOVES KAL AND THE KENTS AND HE WILL PROTECT THEM

GRANDPA ALSO WANTS ACCESS TO THE INTERNET. There is a constant battle and it does work for a while because he is elected babysitter of the kryptokids and he is only a small part of Brainiac, five kids does stretch the circuits he developed from Clark's pod, but it's a constant cycle.

"Kal-el, son of house of el, I demand google, I have not finished investigating the 'man of Bats'. Why are there two variations of his name?"

"You mean Dark Knight?"

"THERE ARE THREE? KAL-EL, PROVIDE ME WITH THE WIFI IMMEDIATELY--"

Also when Brainiac finds out that Clark's birthday falls on a human holiday he. He tries. He tries to do pranks. Most of them are vaguely and accidentally evil (Chris cries when Brainiac takes over the internet for the day and makes every search engine answer questions wrong), but he tries. He knows Clark likes pranks! He is trying to participate! It's family bonding!!!

Braniac: It is your 33rd April fool's day.

Clark: Yep!

Braniac: I have finally decided to assist you with a prank.

Clark:...oh?

Braniac: Behold! (Small boy with dark hair, blue eyes and a square jaw walks in, dressed in a decent little suit.)

Clark: Braniac you CANNOT keep making...Wait. No. No you didn't--

Braniac: A prank to share with your closest friend!

Braniac: I have been calling him "Bruce" for my records, but you may want to pick something else for clarity.

Clark: 😦😳😬💀

(And thus we have Terry)

Also, while Clark is pretty secretive about his kids, when/if any of them go out with a Superfam name, and/or after he gets closer with the Justice League, there are little slip ups. He does really love his kids!!! And at the point where he's joined the JL he's been with Lois for a few years now and is used to mentioning them every now and then at the Daily Planet/trauma sure does bond you together :) and he trusts the core members of the JL pretty well. Someone makes fun of Bruce for his "hoard" of children and his "adoption problem" and Clark snorts and then chokes. Bruce has barely adopted Tim and/or has only just gotten Cass. Four? Please, Clark's almost at double digits.

Or Hal is talking about the fact that he doesn't know what to get his niece for her birthday; Clark asks how old she is, and goes "Seven? Oh, yeah. Go for Monster High, it's really big right now. The dolls are pretty cool."

"Lol why do you know so much about dolls, you have a secret collection-"

"What? No, my daughter likes them."

Hal:

Barry complains about how many birthdays he has to go to and Clark laughs. "Oh, tell me about it! Mia, Mark ((Match)), Chris and Mara all had birthday parties for their school friends in the same week - thank god for superspeed, right?"

Barry, who was talking about volunteering to visit kids' birthday parties at different orphanages in Central: Clark what are you talking about.

Also, Clark's an idiot and decides to introduce Brainiac's "prank" to Bruce on the watchtower because hey! It's neutral ground! And none of his kids can hear into space, thank fuck.

Clark: so....Bruce....you know how you were complaining about being an empty nester. Now that Damian's gone to college. Well. Hm. (pulls Terry from behind him) Surprise!

Bruce: .......You have a new child.

Clark: er. Well. sort of!

Terry, staring at Bruce like the autism creature: O_O

Bruce: .....I have a new child.

(also probably terry's backstory then includes some amanda waller induced kidnapping and potentially a bit of amnesia and adoption by another family but hey, he finds bruce again eventually!)

(also match does try and be the badboy of the family and does hang out with thad, when thad comes up to kill Bart, but. they both just. accidentally vaguely rehabilitate each other? They're not good, but they don't murder, at least. It's a low, low bar. When Clark tries to disappointed-face him, Match just says he's following in Grandpa Brainiac's footsteps and does Clark REALLY expect him to disregard a family legacy-- and you can give him some suicide squad angst or whatever, but the fam is still. there for him.)

(Mia and Kara get into a fist fight when they first meet; then they are best friends. Mia's not great at 'being Kryptonian', especially because she was one of the first attempts, and as per canon is technically a human who they tried to overwrite with Kryptonian DNA, and thus doesn't entirely understand Kara's connection to their 'home', but as a result she also ends up being Kara's confidant in it, because unlike Kal she does understand being taken away from your home and not being able to go back to it, and yet does not have...the same connection the way the other members of the Superfam do, and the disconnect allows Kara to actually talk about Kyrpton instead of mourn)

(Kon does try and grab the spotlight; Clark is trying to let him have freedom, after both Mia and Match went a bit....bitey at his attempts to keep them safe until they were older, but he's still the more naive of his siblings. Thankfully for Clark, he does get to introduce Kon to Robin, and while they don't hit it off, it is enough to mitigate the worst of the fallout of Rex's sleazy bs and Knockout's crimes ): When he joins YJ Clark is both proud of his heroism and a little scared that one of his kids is actually deciding to follow in his footsteps.)

(Mara is Kon's destabilised clone, from when he learns about paul westfield. We did not have enough girls in this family and thus part of their journey of self-identity was the fact that in a family of loud personalities they weren't great at speaking up; it takes a while for them to admit they want a new name and to use she/they pronouns, but by the time Jon and Jordan are five everyone's used to the change. Mara and Kon are closest, even though Kon and Mark/Match are technically sort-of twins; they clash waaay too much in temperament and personality. Kon was much better at playing protector to his little sibling, especially after they came out, and Mara shares "Supergirl" with Kara - she's only a backup member of the titans, though, and has the compassion and strength for heroism but sometimes too much empathy. Does a lot of relief work and peaceful outreach programs. They love a lot.)

(Chris?? no self sacrifice here!!! He has a bunch of fucking siblings with TTK, he is NOT going into that portal)

(There are two Nightwings; every now and then they debate who should switch to Flamebird, jokingly, and yet both of them have perfectly valid arguments - it's kryptonian! / I look good in blue! - and thus it never comes to fruition. When Mia and takes on Flamebird they give it up entirely; it helps that Chris ends up doing a lot of intergalactic work, so there isn't much confusion on earth with the call sign.)

When Jon is old enough to want to switch from Superboy he 100% puppydog eyes Chris into giving him the Nightwing handle so he can give it to Dami, and snags Flamebird from Mia. Dick decides he can live with that and is trying to take care of his own kid so is semi-retired (and can snag it back from Dami if he ever gets too bored).

For a bit there are def still two Flamebirds, but then Mia and Chris decide to team up for intergalactic stuff and to bully Mara into more fistfights, so then they're Trio and just go by Mar-El, Lor-Zod, and Mi-El. I know that is not how female names work on Krypron but I also think Lois Lane, who kept her name and also gave both Jon and Jordan her last name, hyphenated, heard of that shit and went "absolutely not". Either that or Mara decides to keep her Kryptonian name as Mar-El and Mia is Mia Kal-el, or copies her mom and is like naw Fuck This, especially considering her.....lack of general connection to Krypton? Could be fun for any :3 (Or maybe in space she just goes by Lane; time for her semi-mom to get recognition. Mara is already showcasing the house of El, Chris is rehabilitating the house of Zod, she's gonna kick butt for the house of Lois.)

....Though this does potentially mean i have accidentally called Match "Mat-el" and the Barbie jokes from that. Would be. Iconic.

Anyway that's the Grandpa Brainy au! Tune in next week when I force Cerata to watch Arthur and the Invisibles with me and start talking about bug-prince Kon-el and Lois' adventure to save her husband from a tiny evil overlord.

#alternatively this is. give clark ALL the kids: the fic!!!!!! #wow i wonder if you can sense a theme in any of my works 🤔 #bip bop nari drops #dc #superfam #clark kent #superman #nari is writing #lois lane #clois #grandpa brainiac au #grandpa brainy au #batman #bruce wayne #superboy #jon el #kon el #match #supergirl #OF FUCKING COURSE IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS OR IDEAS FOR THIS PLEASE SHARE THEM <333 #i am an au maniac <- im so sorry //lying #justice league #fic ideas i probably won't write

[wantonlywindswept]

adopted baby Guard Din idea that I am never going to write

because it would involve logistics and quiet moments and idle life which I am very down for reading but cannot for the LIFE of me actually sit down and write

So the war ends, Palps is outed as a Sith and an asshole and dies somehow, and the Senate eventually decides that the clones do count as people and thus are allowed to leave the GAR if they want. Give the bureaucrats another few years and they might even give out backpay and citizenship, so long as you stay in the service--wait what do you mean the entire Guard is resigning. What do you mean they've already left orbit?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE ARE NOW MILLIONS OF FILES ON THE HOLONET ABOUT THE SENATE'S SHADY DEALINGS???

Guard, collectively: lol cya suckers

Fox is of course one of the last ones out, and since this was all planned on the down low, everyone's been split into groups so they can take commercial flights, since they're not about to be accused of stealing ships. (They also leave their weapons and their armor behind, in a giant macabre pile in the middle of Corrie HQ. Even their helmets, their faces, they discard: it's time for a rebirth.)

He and Thorn and a few other Corries have a stopover on some tiny station, waiting a week for a delayed transport to arrive, and in the meantime they're approached by some locals who just fled the planet below. Separatist remnants attacked their homes, forcing them to leave everything and everyone behind; can the big strong clones do anything about it?

The Big Strong Clones: Oh shit we finally get to kick some Seppie ass? Sign us the FUCK up.

The eager group does not include Fox, who could not care less about the Separatists and would very much like to finally catch up on his sleep. Unfortunately that means that the group that goes down to the planet is Unsupervised.

(Thorn does not count as supervision. Thorn, bereft of Senate oversight, has finally allowed his Inner Chaos Gremlin to fully emerge. Thorn needs more supervision than the shinies.)

Thorn, three days later, waking Fox from half-hearted sleep by dropping an entire natborn child on him: Hey boss, look what we found! None of the refugees claimed him, so we called dibs. Can we keep him? Fox, staring at the child: ...

Din, staring back: ...

Fox: ...no..?

Din: *sad but understanding big brown eyes*

Fox: Nevermind this is my child now.

Din has gone from two parents to one parent and hundreds of overprotective brothers.

Eventually his group makes it to their destination, Din in tow. I am uncertain of what the destination is but it is a planet that is as far away from Coruscant that the Corries could find. I am tempted for Tatooine not because I like Tatooine (I share Anakin's loathing of sand and deserts) but because Luke's description of Tatooine in ANH was 'if there's a bright center to the universe, this is the planet the furthest from'. 

Corries, hearing that: Fuck it sounds perfect. 

Anyway they make it to Tatooine, there is probably purchasing of some shitty land/buildings that nobody wants out in the wastes bc crime, scum, villainy, etc, but it's not like they have problems taking care of anything that tries to mess with them. 

Where did they get the funds?

Shh don't ask about it.

Stone takes up moisture farming. Thire takes up farming-farming. Thorn shoots gleefully at anything that shows up unannounced within a ten-mile radius. Literally everybody dotes on Din. There are a surprising amount of peaceful days.

Eventually some dumb shiny goes: Hey don't kids need friends? Shouldn't we set up some playdates for him or something?

The shiny is not called dumb for asking the question, but they are called dumb for thinking that the question would only ever be taken rhetorically. Fox disappears for two weeks and then comes back with a black eye and a yowling hissing Boba tucked under one arm, looking stupidly pleased with himself.

(Boba is also pleased to be back with people he knows will keep him safe. Boba will not admit to this under threat of death or dismemberment. Boba is a SERIOUS SCARY ADULT BOUNTY HUNTER.)

Boba also decides he will be Mortal Enemies with Din, which after about ten minutes of meeting him morphs into If Anyone Hurts Din I Will Kill Everyone In This Room And Then Myself because all clones be the same, really.

Din has gained another brother/bestie. (Or potential future boyfriend, whichever floats your boat.)

Somehow they still end up overthrowing the Hutts.

Officially the GAR knew and knows nothing about the Guard leaving Coruscant as soon as the metaphorical paint was dry on their sentient status.

Unofficially Fox's batch harangues him every single day for photos of his new kid(s). They eventually show up unannounced, demanding time with their nephew. (They are shot at by Thorn.)

Din gains five new uncles.

The batch proudly show pics and holos to their battalions. Din gains millions of new uncles.

Fox finally gets a full night's sleep.

#tcw #tcw fanfiction #commander fox #din djarin #coruscant guard #someone else should write that #tho tbh it's mostly written here just in rambling infodump form #btw this is half-inspired bc red is both baby din and fox's color #din is nonverbal for a little while because Trauma #and gets nicknamed 'Kit' #Fox refuses to be pleased about this #Fox is extremely smugly pleased about this

[fallen6253]

Hello hello!

I was rereading Choi Han’s indignity test for the thousandth time (I need more little rok soo pls I'm desperate) and the thing that catches my attention now is the clues.

It says food, warm home, clean clothes, and abundance of food for dinner.

Not thinking about any other clues the author did not show us (there was definitely so much more; we were robbed–) because that would drive me insane from what we know so far (there’s so much yet so little I wanna cry).

Anyway, some found it confusing how there were two notifications about ‘food’ and ‘abundance of food for dinner’ so now I want to word vomit about it.

There is a difference between having food to eat at all and being in front of so much food there’s no way you could eat it all.

Food in general was scarce for Kim Rok Soo at that age (well, at most of his ages but anyway) so imagine being Rok Soo and letting a stranger take you to their house because you want to avoid your own and instead of the things you probably had been expecting, this total stranger just.  Started putting food in front of you and tells you to eat.  To eat all you wanted.  And he leaves for a bit and Rok Soo enjoys the cartoons you rarely get to watch because the TV makes too much noise and you don't want to be locked away in your cold and dark room again.  But then the guy comes back with even more food and when you tell him you’re full he looks.  Devastated.  And the man hides the food he thought you didn’t see, which is so ridiculous you almost crack a smile, until he brings out an apple pie, and now you’re baffled.   

And what really gets me is that Choi Han calls him a good boy.  And little Rok Soo looks baffled.  And there is no notification about comfort or praise covering up his indignity.  

Which implies he is already at that stage where he does not know how to take compliments seriously and just assumes the person is either lying or stupid (which may track in his logic for this stranger that brought some random kid home and just started feeding him).

Or it implies that compliments and praise were never something Kim Rok Soo thought of wanting.

You can’t focus on wanting to be loved if your priority has to be finding a way to survive.

Which tears my heart into pieces because.  This little baby, o my lord, I wish you could feel safe enough to want someone to say something nice about you, that you lived well enough to be concerned about people liking you.  I wish he knew that there would be people who loved him, waiting for him in the future, and that he would not only feel lost forever.  I wish he was living well enough to want to delve into his favorite books with open fervor, talking with others who were reading the same thing and discovering a new way to see a story.  I wish he could feel safe enough to express himself in any other way that did not say ‘it does not matter much what happens anymore’ and ‘I don’t have the strength to go against all of this despair’.  Because this little kid grows up to be so strong, in ways he can’t even see in himself because he’s too busy lifting other people up from groundless depths. 

And he grows up to be something so big, and so warm that it’s such a happy miracle he survived the environments he lived through.  And even after suffering so much loss and failure, he still can’t help caring for people.  And he does it in a way he is conscious of, but he explains it away as a strategy to survive, and it’s his selfish way of finding solace in bright young futures he never had.  Because he needs to justify it.  Because simple kindness can be thrown away and mistrusted so easily, and it can vanish in an instant.  

So he explains it away as a selfish action when he wishes to find solace in saving others.

In becoming the comfort to others he did not get.

In becoming the person he wanted to save him.

#the big sad here oml #little kim rok soo #child kim rok soo #cale henituse #tcf cale #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #indignity test #can we just talk about this amazing little man #another TED talk about cale's shitty childhood

[sylvies-kablooie]

love when people say "our kids are going to have to deal with (insert problem of the capitalistic hellscape we live in here)!" like heh. maybe YOUR kids, perhaps. my 3 large dogs and i will be facing our own and unique challenges BUT ai disinformation complicating their research projects will not be one of them. because we'll be playing fetch. i'll need to teach them not to chew on disposed vapes littering the sidewalk.

#the other day my brother was scoffing at me because i don't eat meat and he said “what will YOUR kids have for thanksgiving?” #i was like. this is not a problem i intend to deal with. also thanksgiving will have fallen out of fashion by then obviously. #what a weird hill to die on. very strange interaction. anyway! #wait hold on. now i'm pondering. there was that time back in high school when i was in therapy for Big Life Problems #and i was begging the therapist to please share coping skills please dear god #and she interrupts the session to ask me if i plan on having kids #HEY. I WAS A KID. WHO NEEDED HELP. WHO TF CARES ABOUT MY FUTURE HYPOTHETICAL BABIES. #makes my whole body cringe to think about #anyway! that's where i stand on the matter #another chapter the series i like to call “shitpost but it's autobiographical” #juni rambles

[jopzer]

so. roy's sister is very clearly a decent chunk younger than him. sofia barclay and brett goldstein are like ten years apart which leads me to the point: do you guys think she was born after roy went to sunderland. and if so do you think thats maybe a little bit why hes So close with phoebe....... was so excited for his little sister and then he was fucken Not Around for her whole childhood and then when they really connect as adults, she wants roy as part of her daughter's life even if he's a little iffy about the idea because hes like a 30 year old grouch who doesnt know fuck about kids

#roy kent #ted lasso #phoebe ted lasso #phoebe kent #phoebe o’sullivan #doctor o'sullivan #could be either tbh #got dangerous amount of roy kent on the brain today. #i know the common hc is to call his sister ruth but i like calling her ruby #if you hear me out it can be both. #they called her ruthie growing up but when she was a baby she couldn't quite get 'th' so she called herself ruby #and it stuck #we all win. holding hands and spinning. #anyway. #i am kind of obsessed with the idea that ruby and roy were estranged for a long time #like she grew up Knowinf about her brother the footballer #he came home for holidays and called on her birthday #but roy was Just as much of a shithead as jamie don't even TRYYYYY #i can very clearly see him being like. hey kid love you but i'm too busy being 20 and sexy and famous #to spend actual real bonding time with an eleven year old #cause he's clearly got a weird relationship with his parents also #the only time we hear about them is like. yeah my dad is old of course he's a little racist #the rest of the time it's about his grandfather #so idk i think they were estranged for a long time and then when they're both Grown Up #ruby is with some dickhead who gets her pregnant and splits and roy is like. #do you want me to kill that guy. i'll kill that guy for you. sounds like he sucks. #i also think he'd come to ruby's bat mitzvah and let her stand on his insanely expensive shoes while they dance #god. roy kent and family. fungus in my brain. #beebles #ramblings of a madman

[its-chelisey-stuff]

please go cry to a place no one sees you, I’ve had enough of you already, kid.

I’m convinced he only obsessed with her because she rejected him right away and that had neved happened to him before, ‘cause what else is there for him to like about her? He doesn’t know her. He’s never taken the time to actually do it. Every interaction with Haeyi is about his idea of her and what he wants. So one sided and not because he has a “crush” on her. I wish the writer would’ve given him some actual depth from the start (before I came to truly dislike him) and more of a personality and arc (besides running after female lead) for me to actually care about him. But oh well, choices were made *shrugs*

#sbs cheer up #kdrama #lol at me calling him kid #the actor is only a year younger than me #he has a baby face though #and look i don't hate the actor #although to be fair i don't love his acting #i think he's a bit green and needs more experience before getting second lead roles #but anyway #he's trying his best with what he's been given

[capfalcon]

something about having a dog makes some people act so.....wrong

#im not talking about the ppl who call their dogs babies #altho i do have misgivings about that bc ppl will be like 'oh i have a kid!' and i go 'oh thats so cute how old is he' and then 5 minutes #into the convo i find out the kid is a labrador but. anyway #im talking about how dog owners will not understand that dogs can make ppl super uncomfortable and they think everyone has to love #their dog #i like dogs a lot #theyre adorable and cute and great #however i also have very little experience w dogs #which means i don't know how they act and i dont understand how to react to that #and im generally v friendly w dogs ill stop and ask to pet them and ill play w them #i spent like half an hour outside my apartment once at like midnight talking to this dude and rolling in the grass w his dog #i love dogs a lot #but i am also like reasonably scared/cautious around violent dogs #i always ask ppl if the dog is safe to pet/whether they want me to pet #and like ive been nipped by excited puppies before #thats no biggie #but i meet some dog owners and they have Aggressive dogs that clearly dont know me #and they'll just. be like #so unconcerned while their dog is clearly Losing its Shit #its so #and then they go 'why r u afraid hes friendly' #bitch to You maune

[amazinlei]

YOU KNOW WHAT, I think I just realized what bugs me majorly about the animation in the Chip and Dales Rescue Rangers movie!

IT’S THE ATTEMPT TO MIMIC 2D ANIMATION THROUGH RIG-MODELS!  Or At least what looks like it, anyway.  I’m not sure what that’s called, despite my study in animation being one of my many special interests. 

Like, even this super cute cameo of my boi, Roger Rabbit showing his moves on the dance floor looks very... Rigged.  In a very static way...  Look at him compared to who framed roger rabbit!

Much more fluid to look at it!  And I know rigs can be just as fun to look and can even look pretty close to hand drawn animation if it’s used well enough!

Keep in mind, this movie was being worked on for the past 10 years!  All the action scenes were filmed beforehand and then went to edit in the animation!  His colors are also a lot more muted in colors compared to the on-set, with use of lighting and shading, it’s easier to transition him to look 3D instead of just a static drawing interacting with Eddie Valiant! (May he rest in peace)

And of course, there’s nothing wrong with animation rigs done through stuff like 3D Vroid Studios!  Or you could commission an artist for something you can’t make yourself and if you just want it done in a specific style.  There’s some very talented people out there, after all.  Some of my favorite twitch streamers have Vtuber avatars! 

But What’s bothering me if the lack of shading!  LIKE, LOOK AT IT!

LOOK AT IT!  LOOK AT IT!  LOOK AT IT! 

I WANT YOU ALL TO L O O  K  AT IT!

(God the ponies hurt the most to look at...)

It just looks so lazy to me!  Especially compared to how Dale looks!  Like, granted I have a feeling the moral is these two getting back the brotherly relationship they once had, chip lets go of the past and embraces the future, accepts dale’s changes too, and they rescue rangers are now real detectives, etc...

Like, they added full stop to Dale’s shading, to the point where it’s almost too annoyingly realistic.  And he looks WAY too much like an Alvin and the chipmunks reject!  Did they really add more effort to Dale and other CGI animations just because they’re more “real”? CG IS THE SAME CATEGORY IN ANIMATION, PEOPLE!  It doesn’t matter how realistic you’ll make it LOOK!  This is why people hated the first sonic design, and that’s what this is reminding me of!

Either way, I WANT to like this movie, it has some interesting ideas and some jokes did genuinely make me laugh, like the poking fun at Bethesda game model Skyrim guard guy and even some stuff in the new trailer and I want to see how this is executed, whether it’s a classic like who framed roger rabbit, Space Jam, Looney Tunes: Back In Action, Sonic The Hedgehog 1 and 2.... or a flop like cool world and monkeybone.

Guess we’ll have to wait and see, huh?

In the meantime, I’m just gonna lay down and cry, man... I miss 2D animation so much.

#now keep in mind I'm a very late 90s kid! So I was a baby through most of the golden era of toon disney afternoon #I label myself more as early y2k kid #so I didn't really see much of the rescue rangers ducktales OR darkwing duck #and this makes it sound like I'm being pretty harsh on animation rigs and CGI too #well I can't defend and say that CG isn't way overdone #and while it's not intentional I'm sure it reminds of a made for TV movie called out of jimmy's head which had an absolute BONKERS premise #at the very least even it's bad it'll be kinda fun to laugh at some cheap jokes about cgi characters being like 'haha skyrim guy' #when that realistic warthog (who I'm guessing is live action lion king???) is absolutely in the same category of uncanney valley #anyway feel free to reblog this and educate me of how computer animation rigs are done! I don't know much about it #so you might need to explain it to me like I'm 5 years old X'D #Lei's Rambles About Cartoons #Animation #Discourse #I GUESS??? #the reviews are gonna be super conflicted man #ESPECIALLY from the real diehard rescue rangers fans #ok to reblog #Chip And Dale Rescue Rangers #Who Framed Roger Rabbit #Disney

[littlecornerinbrooklyn]

there was a hawkfish at the store I pet store I worked at that had been there for 5+ years and the head of the department and I were having a conversation about how glibly people will speak about the fish that have died in their care (it was so common to have a parent come in and "replace" all the pleco's because they messed up while cleaning the tank and the kids due home from school in a few hours) and what kind of policy we could potentially have to educate and curb the idea that we would just keep supplying new fish when there was clearly a lack of willingness to change behaviors (like the same people would come in over and over and laugh about "accidentally" killing another beta fish and it's like maybe don't say that so loudly and unashamedly in the place you're coming to get another one) anyway the guy pointed to the hawkfish and reminded me that the fish was smarter than any of the other pets in the store but because we couldn't hear it speak we didn't honor it's intelligence and i just think about fish and their lives a lot differently after that

#and not just fish but babies and non-verbal folks who people don't treat with any dignity just because they're non-verbal!!! #re: the pet store I was also fully obsessed in the weirdest way with the eel that we had #i called him macaroni cuz he was a real noodly dude and he freaked me out but i loved him #there was also a lungfish named kyle and that thing was COOL #that pet store was such a wild expirience #like everyone understood the store parrot was smart and deserved respect #and also the amount of dog owners who thought it was ~funny to hold their dog up to the guinea pig cages and let them bark was #shcoking to say the least!! #there were signs literally EVERYWHERE about not bringing your dog in the cat adoption/small animal/bird area #but also like kids would run into rosies cage all the time #and she could easily take a chunk outta ya like full finger removal with one swift bite #anyway all pets are deserving of love care and devotion #and they deserve us being open to learning animal husbandry because it's not an inherited skill and there's always new info about nutrition #and like recommended habitats and enrichment oppurtunities!

[kakusu-shipping]

aaaa i might've screwed myself over again with this one cause you only have the one character from this show (i think) but what abt horse/rider from centaurworld? maybe throw wammawink in there too? uwu

Man Centaurworld was good and I freaken love Horse/Rider, I'm so sorry it took me so long to get my spoons together on this one but here are some thoughts

Horse always considered what she and Rider had as romantic, even before she went to Centaurworld, they just had that kind of bond. She always considered them girlfriends, dating, together, partners. Rider did not and really didn't realize that was an option. It was Horse being so causally in love with her that made Rider realize they ARE girlfriends.

Horse has gotten a LOT more affectionate from her time in Centaurworld. She use to be pretty content with just nuzzling Rider here and there, but now that she's smaller and more animated, she hugs and glomps and snuggles all the time. Kisses are still rare from her, but Rider makes up for that by initiating first.

They're very use to one sided conversations, before everything Rider would talk at Horse with every thought she had. Now that Horse can talk, it's the opposite. Rider's found she much prefers the listening role.

It's very very hard to get them away from one another. If you want to talk to Rider, you're also going to be talking to Horse, and vise versa. It's part separation anxiety and part they really don't realize they're doing it. They're just so use to being side by side now, they hardly register the other as being there.

I personally see them very much Kids in Love, idk how old Horse is meant to be, but if Rider is Brooding Teen Protagonist from a Grimdark YA Novel age, then so is Horse in my mind. Someone may ask them "when's the wedding" kind of teasing questions, but they are at most a Middle School childhood friends kind of romance in my mind.

#Emile's Writing #Centaurworld #Do Horse and Rider have a ship name I have no clue #I'm so sorry for not including Wammawink is it weird I don't see her feelings to Horse as romantic???? #She's very Aro to me fkgjfdkjkg #So sorry about that ask again if you wanna I'll think harder promise #This one too me so long for no reason I had my thoughts like day one of getting this ask #I just didn't have the spoons to write them down and I still don't I'm EXAUSTED #But I don't wanna keep this in my ask box for a whole week for just some headcanons/thoughts #Is it weird I think of Horse as a kid? They call her baby for the entire first season idk man #Her and Rider are like the same age and she acts so young and stupid #As you do when you're a Grimdark YA protagonist I feel #Anyway thank you so much for asking after the flop of your first ask!! fkgjfkdjgk

[pastelcheckereddreams]

Why is the spider back I'm going to c r y

#i called dad this time #idgaf if its midnight #its terrorising me #night two of sleeping on the sofa #nikkispeaks #phobias #at this point its gunna start impacting my jobs jfc #im here to dogsit/housesit but i don't want to stay in a room with a giant spider #and if i don't get enough sleep my other jobs will suffer #and those jobs entail handling tiny infants #theres actually two things you shoukd not handle while sleep deprived: heavy machinery and babies #except mothers are always sleep deprived and expected to do so anyway #anyway i also almost fell asleep in class today #thise kids arent infants but im still pretty sure they could handle their TA konking out over the deak

[barnbridges]

no but both sides of the autism voice discourse are so fucking braindead. like yes, it is offensive to me if WHOLE ADULTS refuse to understand that this is *my voice* and i cannot be quieter, this is literally how i am and it should be accepted that not everyone knows or agrees with your "level of comfort" for how loud a voice "should" sound like. like if you're an adult, you should be able to live with that someone's voice is annoying for you to hear, jesus fuck. but also if my voice makes a child cry... i'm an adult and i can stop for a child. a child doesn't need to communicate with me and has no control over if they hang out with me. they deserve to be comfortable, so i will either leave or shut up, and not mind. like imagine being proud of making children cry.

#like yes im a cartoon scary woman who has a booming fucking voice and a “bad” stare #and i scare children. most babies do not like to hang around me. #i am fine and dandy with kids 5 and up because i can read to them or listen to their lil silly stories and call them cute #but i make children cry #and that's ON ME #i cannot frankly change how i fucking talk #but also like... if you're over 16.... and you cant fucking distance yourself #if a person makes you uncomfortable #its your fucking problem not mine #im a person and my voice is intrinsic to me. i cannot change it more than i can change that my nose is fucking ugly #because i choose to put myself first #i do not care to make adults comfortable or pull them in. they don't care about my comfort much anyway #and if they hate my voice i will always need to babysit them around my neurodivergent tendencies so its BEST to cut off contact early. #but they make it so personal and so like oh you NEED to be quiter #no bitch fuck you

[girlwiththegreenhat]

Do you have any fiction book recommendations?

One (1) (series)

#ask #anonymous #anon #books #scifi #book recommendations #i mean. science fiction is fiction right #sorry i'm one of those cringe kids that doesn't really read and most of what i do read is fanfic lol #the only other thing i read are art books #i just don't really have the opportunity to go to bookstores or libraries and i just don't seem to find books #that fit my very niche weird tastes #and even when i do its not like books have content ratings. im a baby there's tons of stuff i do Not want to read #i want to read more but nothing seems to hit for me #except for books about 1960s film noir robot detectives. that is so incredibly up my alley. so i love this series #there's some good series i read in high school but i don't remember the names of them :^( #i think i kept my book reports since i did Art in them. i hope i find them #there was this one really good steampunk series about exploration and i think the last one - or at least the third one? #saw them heading into Space in this huge ship that crawled along a tether like a huge elevator. also there was a monkey #extremely cool series wish i could remember what tf it was called #anyway if any of you bookworms have a website that 1. really lets you search for books via weird specific tags #and 2. also has content warnings for those books #that's my ideal website please send it to me #i want more scifi and robot books

[arminsumi]

「 🔴 RECORDING 」

found footage of satoru's student years... recorded on the camcorder that he carried around everywhere.

warnings : heavy angst, fluff, implied death, not proofread

[ the first footage is one minute long. there's two blue eyes widening comedically on the screen. the resolution is low and the audio is tinny. ]

"Ooo it works... well hellooooooo there... i'm... GOJO!! SATORU!! and this is... suguuuuruu getooooo... oh look at that walk, you're such a model."

[ the camera is on suguru, who's walking with bad posture. he doesn't like the camera. ]

[ he has his old hairstyle; this was recorded before his hair was long enough to be in the bun style. he hides his face from the camera. ]

"... aw, he's a model that doesn't like cameras. anyways... this is the beautiful... STUNNING... hot... talented... playing-hard-to-get... (haha kidding)... y/n~"

[ the camera pans to you. you can hear the flirty tone in satoru's voice. ]

"... we are currently walking through the gates of hell..."

[ the camera pans to the school. the resolution clears for a second to show a blue sky with slowly drifting clouds. ]

"okay. we have arrived in hell; look there's satan himself—"

[ the camera pans to yaga. ]

[ the footage ends with yaga confiscating satoru's camera and scolding him. ]

[ a video starts off shaky. the camera is dropped on the train floor and suguru sighs. ]

"satoru...... did you just break it after having it for one day?"

[ satoru picks it up and gives a toothy smile to the screen. ]

"nah. she's all good. not even a scratch. ooh... suguru we look so hot. and look how hot y/n is... she's so scandalous — sittin' next to me on the train. this proximity's got me sweatin', baby... kidding kidding... don't gimme that look!"

[ suguru gives the middle finger to the camera and satoru's iconic laugh sounds beautiful even through the crap audio quality. ]

[ there's a 3 minute video that's half-corrupted of a party happening in your apartment... of just you, satoru, suguru and shoko. lykke li's "i follow rivers" is playing loudly, satoru is screaming the lyrics in broken english and suguru is recording you and him dancing like maniacs. shoko is offering her cigarette to the camera and blowing smoke into the lens. ]

[ there's a 25 second clip of satoru aggressively kissing you until you laugh. ]

[ there is a photo of satoru crouching to pet a cat. he's holding an umbrella. ]

[ there is corrupted footage of laughter and a flicker of the video shows a tiny pot on a stove with ramen cooking in it. ]

[ there's a photo of you, satoru, suguru and shoko. you and satoru are looking at each other like lovebirds. suguru is giving the finger to the camera. shoko is laughing with her eyes closed. ]

[ a long video of satoru waking up in a hotel bed. he looks like he just woke up. he blinks at the camera, bleary-eyed and cute with puffy lips and messy hair. ]

"goodmornin'."

[ his morning rasp is strong. ]

"i'm awake... but miss sleepy head and mister sleepy head are not, as you can see..."

[ he zooms in on your face. you're laid at his right, and suguru is laid at his left. ]

"here's the sleeping angel... and here's the sleeping dragon... anyways... WAKEY WAKEYYYYYYYYY!!! IT'S A BRIGHT NEW DAY!!!"

[ suguru's wakeful groan sounds groggy and disturbed by satoru's loud, piercing wake-up call. you scrunch your face as you wake up, seemingly out of a dream. ]

"satoru... what the hell is the matter with you..."

[ it's an ultra close-up shot of your nose as you mumble this. ]

"i was lonely being awake by myself, gosh. you're so mean!"

[ he experiences a voice crack. suguru gives a sleepy, murderous look at his best friend. ]

"satoru... i swear i'm gonna throw that camera into traffic one day."

[ suguru's mumbling into his pillow too softly to be taken seriously. ]

"wanna say that to the camera?"

[ suguru looks grouchy. ]

"i'll kill you."

"WOW... buddy, this is evidence if you ever do kill me... the police will find this footage... 'n put your FLAT ass in jail. aw... y/n fell back asleep look look... aw she's so fucking precious."

[ suguru and satoru admire you for a bit. there rest of the footage is corrupted. ]

[ footage of a breakfast in the same hotel. sunny side eggs are zoomed-in on. and there's only eggs. ]

"we're too broke to buy bacon, isn't that cool?"

[ satoru gets a nice view up his nose as he tilts the camera to himself. then he turns the camera to you, who's sleepily eating this miserable breakfast. ]

"... so we just have eggs to eat... heyyyy hot babe..."

[ satoru flirts with you and you roll your eyes in response, smiling and chewing on your egg, fork in one hand. ]

"wanna hear a joke?"

"mhm."

"if you ever broke up with me, what would you call me?"

"an idiot?"

"your eggs."

[ you groan and stop eating because his pun was so awful, but you've got a big smile on your face and satoru is laughing heartily. ]

[ the video ends with you and satoru leaning in for a big kiss and a sleepy suguru walking into the room, itching his tummy under his shirt. ]

[ there's a clip of you, satoru, suguru and shoko yelling happy new year and watching fireworks explode into blazing, brilliant colors. suguru winks at the camera as you hold it and you giggle flirtatiously back. there's clearly tension between you two that neither satoru nor shoko acknowledge in the moment, because the fireworks distract them. ]

[ there's footage of you, satoru and suguru kissing. it ends with satoru kissing the camera as a joke. ]

[ most of the footage is corrupted after this. in the next video, satoru seems a bit older. ]

[ there's footage of a solo satoru, who's been enlightened and and burdened with being the strongest. he's on a mission alone, keeping the camcorder on as he exorcises a curse. he trots over to the camera. he seems less enthusiastic compared to the other videos. ]

"aaand that's what the strongest looks like while he's at work."

[ satoru looks smug and goofy, but something is off. his features look worn and tired. ]

[ there is already that slightly disingenuous liveliness showing in his demeanor just in this small video; the version of satoru that his students would know as just normal gojo sensei. ]

[ his smile falters as he rambles about y/n and suguru. ]

"i'm gonna give y/n a big kiss when i get home. miss you, angel. haha... why am i talking to a camera all by myself... that's so sad. i'm gonna film myself gettin' that kiss at home, just to prove i'm not some lonely idiot. i have a hot fiancé..."

[ one of the last photos taken on this camera is dated; august 2009. it's of you and satoru sharing a big kiss... neither of you knew it at the time, but it was your last kiss. ]

[ the next piece of footage is from 2018. it's a 28 year old gojo, his features show his maturity and the weathering of all the years he's endured living without you and suguru.]

"i found this camera while cleaning up. if i look 'n sound funny it's 'cuz i've been crying haha......"

"...... i miss you two..... haha... i can't shove the camera in your faces like i used to, now can i?"

[ he awkwardly smiles at the camera but then his face trembles and contorts into an ugly-cry as if he just remembered every single memory of his youth. ]

[ the footage ends with a broken, barely audible "fuck..." falling from the teacher's lips as he starts to cry and drops the camera to the floor. the rest is corrupted footage... just heaving sobs of the man who has no more memories to record with suguru and y/n. ]

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

#angst #fluff #angst with fluff #angst with a sad ending #tw: angst #gojo #gojo satoru #geto #geto suguru #satosugu #x reader #geto x reader #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x you #gojou satoru x reader #satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #shoko #shoko ieiri #jjk x reader #jjk angst #jjk #jjk fic #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #gojo saturo #saturo gojo

[kleftiko]

❦ CAN’T GIVE IT TO ME

“your best friend has always been the person you turn to when times are tough. so when your shitty husband refuses to give you a baby, what else are you supposed to do?”

cw: infidelity, unprotected sex, cream pie, breeding kink, pussy eating, squirting

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST

It was never a surprise when you made a stupid decision.

Sometimes, people thought you were purposely being an airhead, not paying attention, or being reckless in your life because Satoru was always there to fix things for you. It didn't stop him from letting you know his thoughts on your actions, but he was always there when you called.

When you married your husband, Satoru told you he didn't like him. Didn't think you married for a good reason, either.

Did you love your husband? Maybe. Maybe not. But you liked the freedom he gave you—credit cards and a house to yourself most days—while he was constantly away on business trips. You could spend your days spoiling your girlfriends on a shopping spree and your nights in expensive clubs.

You don't know when you began feeling lonely and bored, though. But one day, you started noticing mothers with their kids. playing in the park, shopping at the grocery store, and taking photos on vacation, and you began to think that maybe you wanted something else in life besides waking up hungover to an empty bed.

So when your husband got home that evening, tired and immediately pouring himself a drink, you proposed the idea. The look he gave you said it all, but he still told you no. He was a busy man; he didn't have time for a family, and you should know that.

It's not like he ever fucked you anyway; for most of your marriage, your orgasms and libido were taken care of by vibrators, dildos, and your best friend.

Which is why when your husband left the next day, you called over Satoru.

He never had to try to look good, showing up with a plain shirt, sweatpants, and those signature glasses. You, on the other hand, changed three times before he arrived, not being able to decide which outfit was going to help you get what you wanted. The formal dress was too much for daytime, the skirt was a bit too juvenile, and eventually you just decided on shorts and a tank top, loungewear that to anyone else would look like you were just having a day in, but the way the short fabric loosely covered your ass told a different story.

Satoru accepted the glass of red wine you offered when he walked in the door and took a seat at the kitchen table, spreading his legs casually as he took a sip.

"I want a baby." You told him straight up.

Satoru smiled as he looked at you over his glasses and said, "Nice. Congrats."

"With you," you clarified. He raised an eyebrow.

"Seems like something you should ask your husband," he said, nimble fingers playing with the neck of his wine. "I'm just here for the drinks."

You pouted, taking a seat in the chair beside him.

"Please, 'Toru?" you asked.

His eyes drifted down to your fingers as they trailed lightly over his thigh, knowing exactly what you were trying to do.

"And why would I help you?" He smiled lazily.

You got up and straddled his lap, setting down his glass of wine in favour of moving his arms around your body.

"You've helped me before." You whisper, and he nods casually, as if that was a good point.

You couldn't count the number of times Satoru let you use his fingers or sit on his face when you were needy. Or how many times you repaid him with your lips around his dick or riding his thigh. But no matter how many times he made you cum, he never gave in to your pleas to stretch your pussy on his thick cock. He refused to, as long as you were married. Was it right? Probably not, but Satoru had his rules.

And you've never minded the mind-numbing pleasure he would give you with his hands and mouth until now. Because now, what you wanted required something else of his that was previously off limits.

"I've helped you a lot of times, sweetheart." He sighed in defeat. "And you always ask for more."

You were confused, not understanding the meaning of his words until his fingers slid between your legs. With a soft gasp, you instinctively start grinding yourself onto his palm, forgetting what he was saying.

"I'm at your beck and call when you need my fingers or tongue," he said, letting you continue your ministrations. "And now you're asking me to fill your cunt and expect me to be okay with our kid calling your husband 'dad'?"

With a harsh press to your clit, you freeze, and a small whine escapes from your lips.

"You think that's fair, sweetheart?" He asked, eyeing you with contempt.

But instead of answering, you try to move your hips against his hand again for friction, only to get a harsh pinch to your thigh.

You yelped, but answered him. "No, it's not."

He seemed happy with your response and said, "What's in it for me?"

You furrowed your brows. In all the years you've known Satoru, he had never asked for anything in return; he always gives, gives, gives. There honestly wasn't any answer you could come up with. But when his long fingers started circling your heat again, making you melt, you asked.

"What do you want, 'Toru?"

He grinned at how easy you were and let you rest your head on his shoulder in response to his fingers. "Say you'll leave your husband, and I'll fill you up as much as you want."

You whined in response, but with your body rocking against his, breathing in his cologne, and hearing his husky voice in your ears, it didn't seem like a bad idea. So you nodded, light gasps dusting over his neck as you breathed out, "Okay."

Satoru's strong hands then left your pussy, but you didn't have a chance to complain when he grabbed the back of your thighs and stood up. When your head leaned back to look at him, you saw a dangerous look in his eyes.

"Good girl." His voice was low as he said, "Let's make you a mommy."

With that, he dropped you onto the table, the wine glasses shaking beside you as a result. Satoru dropped to his knees between your spread legs and reached for your shorts. Already wet with your slick, they stuck to your heat slightly as he slid them off, and you hissed at the feeling of the cool kitchen air against your pussy.

His breath grazed your thigh as he licked a harsh strip up your slit. Your body trembled as his tongue traced its way up, sending shivers of anticipation through your entire being. The dangerous look in his eyes intensified, fueling your desire for him. You couldn't help but arch your back, offering yourself fully to his skilled touch. As his tongue continued its tantalizing journey, your moans grew louder, matching the rhythm of his movements. The intensity of him led you to grasp at his soft silver hair in an attempt to ground yourself, but he smacked your hand away.

"You're gonna feel everything I give you." His sunglasses were discarded, so you saw every emotion in his darkened eyes. "And you're gonna take it."

After you nodded quickly, Satoru wrapped his arms around your thighs, locking your cunt against his tongue as he devoured you. His careful mouth probed every inch of your sensitive folds, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. The way he smoothly flicked and sucked on your clit had you on the edge of ecstasy, unable to control the moans that escaped your lips. As his tongue delved deeper, you surrendered completely to the overwhelming sensations, losing yourself in the intoxicating bliss he was giving you.

In an attempt to warn him, you could only stutter out an, "g-g'nna."

But Satoru seemed to understand as his lips attached themselves to your bud, and one of his arms freed your legs so he could thrust his fingers inside your sloppy cunt. The combination of his skilled tongue and the added penetration sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body. Each thrust of his fingers matched the rhythm of his tongue, intensifying the pleasure and pushing you closer to the edge. As you reached the peak of ecstasy, your body convulsed uncontrollably, overwhelmed by the mind-blowing sensations he was delivering. You briefly understood your legs spamming as you painted Satoru's mouth with your cum.

It took a moment for you to calm down, your eyes opening to look at the ceiling as you realized your back was on the table. Unable to remember when you had laid down, let alone move your body on your own, Satoru pulled you to stand on your jelly legs.

His eyes held your gaze as he wiped his face and licked his lips clear of your cum. Before you could say anything, he gripped your hips, his wet hands sending shivers up your hot skin as he turned you around and pushed your stomach onto the table.

You looked over your shoulder at your best friend; his head was tilted back, eyes closed as he hissed in pleasure, the hand covered in your slick stroking his hard cock. The reminder of the fact that his dick was finally going to be inside you made you whine and wiggle your hips to gain his attention again.

Satoru looked down at you with a smile.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm right here." He lined himself up with your hole. "I'll fuck a baby into you," he whispered before slowly pushing himself inside you.

The sensation of him filling you up sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, making you moan and bend your back in response.

"T-'Toru..." You drawled, unable to think of anything else, as he stretched you open.

"That's it, baby, remember who's gonna breed this cunt for you." He hissed.

Your mind became consumed with the overwhelming pleasure as Satoru continued to thrust deeper into you. Every movement he made intensified the sensations, leaving you completely lost in the moment. The sounds of his grunts harmonizing with skin slapping against skin filled the room, adding to the urgency of the experience.

Your eyes locked on one of the wine glasses beside you. The table rocking with Satoru's harsh thrusts caused the silverware to fall over, staining the beautiful tablecloth beneath your face. You don't know why, but the physical reminder of how hard Satoru was going inside you made you moan. The combination of the sensory overload and the unexpected disruption heightened the raw passion between you and Satoru. As your moans echoed in the room, you realized that every element of this encounter was pushing you both towards an adrenaline-filled climax.

"Sa-Satoru—please!" You babbled incoherently as he slapped against you, his fingers digging into the fat of your hips.

"Fuck!" He groaned. "You're gonna look so hot pregnant with my baby."

Your pleas only fueled Satoru's desire, intensifying his thrusts as he whispered dirty promises about knocking you up in your ear. The intense connection between you both grew, driving you closer to the edge of ecstasy. With each moment, it became clear that this intimate encounter would forever be etched in not only your memory but also your life. And it turned you on so much more.

"You gonna great your husband today with your pussy filled with my cum?" You whined at his dirty talk. "S'it gonna drip down your legs when you tell him it's over?"

You don't know why, but the reminder of the fact that Satoru wasn't your husband was what did it for you. You came to the realization that it wasn't your husband fucking a baby into you, but your best friend. This forbidden affair intensified the pleasure and excitement coursing through your veins, causing you to clench impossibly tighter around Satoru's cock.

He groaned loudly at that, folding his body over yours as he reached his own orgasm.

"You're all mine now, sweetheart." He whispered into your ear as his cum shot into your cunt, filling you up better than you could've hoped for. The intensity of the moment left you breathless as you lay there, sweat clinging to your forehead as the scent of wine and sex filled your senses. You whimpered pathetically when Satoru slipped out of you and crouched down to watch the globs of his cum drip out of your pussy with each clench around nothing. Your trembling legs couldn't stop him when he scooped up the slick and pushed it back into you with a dissatisfied hum.

"Don't think it stuck, sweetheart." He sighed. "Might need to fill you again."

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