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bsdawgz · 2 months

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「 ✦ All to Myself ✦ 」 Bungo Stray Dogs, Port Mafia: Ryūnosuke Akutagawa

A/N: aku won the poll! thank you everyone who voted and everyone who has been so supportive of me and my fics ♡ after writing this little ~drabble~ about what it would be like sleeping soundly next to aku, of course i just had to follow it up with some soft smut, too hehe. if you voted for atsushi, don't worry – i'm prolly going to write one for him next!

genre: f!reader, established relationship + virginity loss, fluffy smut!

content warning: MDNI! mentions of aku’s childhood trauma. bj, virginity loss (aku), brief blood mention (back scratching), a teeny bit of possessiveness, unprotected sex THIS IS MAD RISKY IRL JSYK, tons of reassurance, validation + validation seeking, and lots of saying "i love you" 🥹

summary: on a cold, february night, a night like every other night in this kill-or-be-killed world, fingers are reaching for fingers clumsily, pondering the meaning of the word safety and wondering if it’s possible to find it in another person.

“you’re making a really cute face right now, ryū,” you giggle, poking at your boyfriend’s cheek. boyfriend – the idea of it was still so foreign to you and him both. you never thought that akutagawa would end up confessing his feelings to you – let alone having feelings for you in the first place. ryūnosuke was short-tempered and, as you quickly came to know as a civilian, feared. however, your friendship with gin had brought you close to him and now, here you two were, perhaps against all odds.

ryū's cheeks flush at your compliment; he paws your hands away from his face, still not used to your casual touch. his eyebrows furrow; his nose scrunches. “don’t mock me,” he mutters, averting your gaze awkwardly as he moves his weight away from you. then, a quiet smile settles on his lips as he steals a glance at you from the corner of his eyes. your face lights up in response – there’s that tiny crack of tenderness, a secret kept just between you two. it makes warmth spread all over you, then all over him.

tonight is a cold night, a night like every other night in this kill-or-be-killed world. somewhere in a slum not far off from yokohama, there is a family of orphan children sleeping in a slum. on a suicide mission about a mile east from akutagawa’s apartment, a group of port mafia executives are breathing their last breath. in the alleyway just around the corner, there is a man with a gun pressed to his temple.

but on this cold, february night, a night like every other night in this kill-or-be-killed world, akutagawa and you are inside – sitting on a mattress that has barely been slept on, fingers reaching for fingers clumsily, pondering the meaning of the word safety and wondering if it’s possible to find it in another person.

“can i… kiss you?” the request is so simple, but so special. affection is such a strange thing like that. akutagawa’s eyes widen, as though he’s bewildered by his own words, surprised that he's made such a request in the first place. but it’s too late to take back the words now – not that he wants to, anyway.

you’re both inept, fumbling to get closer to each other. shaky hands reach for your waist as you crawl into his lap, making him shift at the sudden closeness. it’s not your first time kissing someone, and you’re by no means a virgin, but akutagawa and you have never even cuddled, let alone been this intimate together. you feel timid fingers awkwardly stroking your hair, then his lips hesitantly brushing against yours. for the first time, ryūnosuke has no idea what he’s doing, and there’s no hiding it – there’s an intense heat radiating throughout his body and a clamminess in his hands, which he simply doesn’t know where to put, every time your lips meet. when he feels the soft, wetness of your tongue caressing his, he pulls back, an ashamed look on his face. “i… sorry.”

“you’re making that cute face again…” your voice is gentle, caring. you don't mean to tease him, yet a wave of embarrassment rushes through him. he looks away, absolutely frustrated with his inexperience and the way that you see right through him. he feels so incompetent. he’s just about ready to protest, but before he can, you plant a kiss on his cheek, giving him yet another reason to blush. “it’s okay, just let me show you,” you coo, threading your fingers through his. “just trust me. okay, ryū?”

he looks at you and nods sheepishly, letting you guide his hands back onto your hips. tilting your head to the side, you bring your lips to his once more. it’s a passionate kiss – long, languid, full of tenderness. this time, when you sweep your tongue into his mouth, he lets you in willingly, sinking deeper into your kiss, his fingers grasping the fabric of your blouse tighter. when you finally pull back, akutagawa’s cheeks are pink to the tips of his ears, making you giggle as he slowly lets go of you. “mhm, that was much better…” you hum in approval, playing with the hands that are laying in your lap.

your touch has always been different from what he's used to – you're kind, forgiving. you are the embodiment of what he's spent his life convincing himself is a weakness, yet you've proven to him that it's your greatest strength. he nods at you, an almost serious look on his face like he's memorizing your movements, then he leans in for another kiss – you feel his fingers meshing through your hair as he brings you closer. he’s gentle with his hands as he weaves them carefully through the strands, cautious not to snag or tangle them as he tucks them behind your ear.

then, to your surprise, you feel his lips elsewhere – the heat on his mouth on your neck, his soft breath traversing down your skin as he traces a line to your collarbone. “is it okay?” his voice holds nothing but compassion – a forbidden trace of humanity in akutagawa that he spent his life unlearning for the sake of survival – a speck of vulnerability that proves you're not you're not so different from him, after all. he crumbles, shatters under you. you nod in response and guide him to your shoulder, unbuttoning your blouse.

“ryū…” his name forms on your lips before you even have the chance to think it, but it’s only natural now – “do you love me?”

your words catch him off-guard. of all the things you could ask him, he never would have expected this – yet, just as you, he finds that he already knows the answer and that all he has to do is confirm it. “yes.” it’s a quiet response, uttered like a secret, as though if someone were to discover the truth, it would mean certain death for the two of you. then, he meets your gaze waveringly, suddenly realizing that he’s exposed his hand without knowing your own response. “do you love me back?”

there’s no denying it in the way you touch him, taking his cheek in your hand as you plant a soft kiss to his soft, waiting lips. “i love you. i always will.” – those words he’s never heard that make his hands tremble. he reaches for you – and for once in his life, he feels what he’s been yearning for is falling perfectly into his fingertips. the scent of your lavendar shampoo, lingering in the tendrils of your hair; the softness of your skin against his lips; the quiet sounds of your gasp when his teeth graze your neck – he wants all of it –

– is it really okay for him to have it?

can he have you like this? –

he’s unbuttoning the rest of your blouse now, trailing gentle kisses down your chest. clumsy hands struggle to unclasp your bra before palming and squeezing at the swell of your breasts, cherishing the experience of feeling another human being’s naked skin for the very first time. you gasp as he thumbs over your hardened nipples, then you feel the wetness of his mouth exploring the exposed skin with slow flicks of his tongue. his wandering hands feel up the sides of your body, eager to burn your shape into his memory. he doesn’t have to say that you’re beautiful – his eyes tell you so as he gazes at you hazily through thick lashes, exploring every part of you attentively. “ryū–” you moan out, your voice a whisper. “can i touch you, too?”

nodding, ryūnosuke undoes his shirt and slacks while you finish undressing. slipping the now-unbuttoned shirt down his toned shoulders, his body tenses at his complete vulnerability. the thought of being unclothed without rashōmon at his disposal is terrifying. “we don’t have to,” you reassure him, bringing your lips to the back of his hand. “you don’t have to give me anything.”

“– but i want to.”

he interrupts you quickly, embarrassed at the sheer neediness in his voice and appalled by how easy it must be to read him right now. “i want you to touch me.” he looks away, embarrassed – there's no one in the world that he trusts more than you. then, gulping, he steadies his voice, finally meets your gaze determinedly. “i don’t want anyone else but you to touch me – will you touch me?”

you nod, then you seek him.

he grows in the palm of your hand. it's the first time he's ever felt the touch of someone other than himself, and his eyes watch you carefully, timidly – the way that those slender fingers of yours curl around the base and stroke him. your touch feels so different than his own. your movements are slow and intentional, so unlike the way he touches himself when he’s just trying to finish himself off in a hurry.

your gaze is hot on him, and he feels his cheeks burning under your scrutiny – and oh, wow, your hand is so small and so soft – and it feels so good wrapped around him like this. his breath is stuck in his throat; stifling a sound as you palm the wet tip, he watches as your finger collects a string of precum leaking at the slit. then, a muffled noise escapes him as he feels a wetness teasing at him – is that your tongue? wait... is he moaning right now?

he gasps, eyes widening as he realizes what’s happening – the gorgeous sight of you on your knees for him, in between his legs. you’re kissing the inside of his thigh, your hand still firm around him, and then your mouth is full of him, and he’s stammering out your name relentlessly. he’s out of breath, fingers threading through your hair, petting your head as you suck him off. “– a-ah… feels… good…” he's shocked at how vocal he is and wants to hide his face out of embarrassment, so he lets his head fall back and covers his eyes with his arm, hoping you won't see the sort of face he might be making for you.

then, you feel him reach for your breasts once more, molding them to the shape of his hands, before he tugs you into his lap, pulling you into another deep kiss. “can i have you?” he asks. there’s a hint of desperation in his voice. ryūnosuke is staring into your eyes seriously now, a certain urgency reflected in those dark, blackened irises of his, as though he’s afraid you’ll disappear before his eyes and might vanish into dust, as though this is some false reality. murmuring a soft ‘always’ in affirmation, you feel him press his mouth to your skin once more and litter your neck and shoulders with kisses, hands traversing across your skin like he can’t get enough of your body, craving to memorize every morsel of you.

“i love you,” he whispers, voice faltering as he meets your gaze. he melts into nothingness against your open mouth, pouring himself into your kisses, and soon, he grows hungry. his movements become more aggressive, fingers digging into the flesh of your hips, carving craters into the dips in your skin. you feel him mark you, his teeth scraping your neck slightly as he sucks harshly on your tender skin, leaving behind splotches of pink and red. your fingers tangle in his black and silver hair as you bite back a moan at the pang of pain and pleasure intertwined – but your thoughts are filled with nothing but him as you chant in your head, i love you, i love you, i love you.

then, you ease him inside of you slowly, and you hear him moan softly into the crook of your shoulder and tighten his grip on your waist as you sink onto him completely. “nghh–...” the feeling of your wet warmth is too much to handle – he feels like he could cum any moment just from being inside of you. he never imagined that his first time would be raw – and that it would feel so, so good like this. you’re pulsing all around him, squeezing him so perfectly. with you gripping him so sweetly, he can every single one of your movements – each agonizing throb of your aching core. it’s like nothing he’s ever experienced before.

what if he doesn’t last long? just the thought of it makes him feel so embarrassed and ashamed of himself – but as you lay a kiss on the protrusion of his cheekbone, looking at him with those kind, compassionate eyes, he’s reminded that there’s nothing he has to prove to you right now. he blushes, cheeks turning red, then brushes his lips against yours again. “it’s okay, you can go slow if you want,” you whisper in his ear, as though you've read his mind.

his movements are awkward, just as you’d expect from someone with no experience, but you guide him until his thrusts are steady. “is… is it okay? am i… doing okay?” ryū asks anxiously. there’s that incredibly cute, worried expression on his face again, that face that he makes when words fail him and confidence escapes him. his cheeks are flushed with heat as he looks up at you, waiting to hear your validation.

"don't worry so much," you murmur, caressing his cheek with your thumb. "you don't have to hold back with me, ryū. i want to make you feel good, okay?

i love you."

you feel akutagawa's weight shift on top of you. then, those eyes – eyes that echo your own emotions, eyes that are baring everything, are peering at you yearningly. in the sliver of moonlight peeking through his bedroom curtains, you can see all of him now – pale skin reflecting the silver glow of the sky, raised scars on his body that immortalize a traumatic past, bruises from pushing himself past the point of redemption in training. this is no hellhound – this boy is distinctively human; and these are the markings to prove it.

"i love you, too," he says breathlessly, in a voice as earnest as your own, "i love you so much."

he buries himself inside of you once more, pleasuring in the warmth of your walls and the way that your body grips him. there is no need to hide tonight from each other tonight, not when it's just the two of you in this room. as you wrap your legs around him, you feel his pelvis meet yours in slow, deliberate strokes. he focuses his attention on you completely. he's so beautiful, so loving – and you wonder what good you might have done in a past life time to be loved so tenderly by this man. allowing yourself to be swept into the tide of hips, you moan out his name as his pace quickens – as he pushes himself into you deeper, closer, until you're clinging onto him, your fingers burrowing into his shoulders. "ryū... you feel really good, ryū…”

the way that you coo for him makes his eyes widen –

"say it again. my name. please.

tell me i make you feel good. i need to hear it again..."

and you'll say it again – as many times as he wants. his name spills out of your lips like a broken dam and you overflow, mouthing 'i love you' over and over into the crease of his jaw as your nails rake across his back, piercing flesh and pricking blood.

"i... i own you now... you belong to me – you're mine, okay? only mine," he tells you, gazing into your eyes longingly, desperate to have the words repeated back to him.

but of course you’re his – you’ve only ever been his. “yours, ryū,” you whisper back, reaching up to stroke his cheek with your thumb, and for just a moment you could swear there’s tears about to well up in his disbelieving eyes. “i’m all yours – i’ll always be yours.”

tonight, it is cold, february night in yokohama. it is like any other night in this kill-or-be-killed world –

– except tonight, ryūnosuke and you are inside his apartment, sheltered from the cruelty of the outside world. your fingers are interlocked as you hold one another tightly, in the most intimate of ways – and for the first time in ryū's life, he feels his trembling hands become still, his breath become steady, his heartbeat slow.

outside, there's a drizzle of rain that's begun to prickle at the window panels in the shadows of his darkening room. somewhere in the slums, just at the outskirts of yokohama, there is a boy that looks like him, who knows nothing but suffering, who owns nothing at all, who has no one at all.

but tonight, none of that matters –

tonight, all that matters is this man in front of you, who is pulling you tight against his chest, and that soft voice rustling in your ear, whispering, "i'm yours, too. i'm all yours."

author ps: eeeek i hope i did ok!!! wc was a bit higher than usual b/c i really do love aku, so i'm a little nervous T_T i really did enjoy writing this one, so i hope that you also like it and that i did aku justice. also, if anyone is interested in being added to a future taglist, please let me know and i’ll set one up!

#BSDAWGZ #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd smut #akutagawa smut #akutagawa x reader #bungou stray dogs smut

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choppersconfirmedkills · 1 year

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Just Flowers

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader (Ft. Best Friend Tess)

Word Count: 1.75k

Genre: Angst, with a bit of fluff

Warnings: Arguments, Joel being Joel, slight reference to an age gap, but it’s got fluff, not proofread

A/N: Happy Valentines Day! Here’s my first Joel Fic, I’m not all that content with it, the idea I had in my head didn’t really its way onto the page but I felt I should post it anyways.

Summary: It’s Valentines Day and you just wanted to do something nice for Joel.

It’s raining… in February. You could swear that ever since the outbreak occurred mother nature decided to switch everything up, weather included. But the rain didn’t bother you all that much especially when you had what you were looking for and you were finally home.

Or at least whatever this hobble was that you and Joel shared could be considered. The wallpaper was ugly and tattered, springs were sticking out of the couch, and you were pretty sure it was rat-infested, but it was what you had.

You tried to be as quiet as possible when entering the confines of the apartment knowing Tess would probably be over and sleeping and Joel trying to get some semblance of it. You didn’t wish to do that to them today because the truth is the two of them deserved just a little bit of peace. And luckily for you, they might have found it because the coast was clear.

Taking off your soaked outerwear, you took a sigh of relief. Everything had gone according to your hopes, which meant that tomorrow was going to go swimmingly. You wanted to surprise them with a few things. You had grown to care for both of these people, it was supposed to be just strictly business but eventually, they became the closest thing you had to family. With Joel, it was a bit different though. You knew he was closed off and pushed everyone in existence away, but you couldn’t help but fall for the old grump. And you thought he deserved to feel a little bit of that care you had for him.

Click.

“Shit,” you turned around to see that the lamp was turned on and Joel and Tess were on the couch, staring at you. As if your parents caught you sneaking in after curfew. Which you technically did.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Tess was the first to speak, adjusting in her seat slightly.

“Uhhhh, dark?”

“You’re damn skippy it is, where the hell were you at this time of night?” She stood up.

“Oh, nowhere and everywhere,” you responded, knowing you were being difficult, but there was no way you were spilling this secret right now. It wasn’t even Valentine's Day yet.

“That’s not a good enough answer,” Tess replied moving to grab your face and scanning you for injuries and bite marks. Tess would never admit it but she had a soft spot for you, you were like her younger annoying sibling that she could never get rid of. She was taking mental notes of your figure when she caught sight of your bandaged hand. You winced, preparing for the barrage that was about to come your way. “Where were you?” she asked again.

“Outside,” you huffed. It was a vague answer but they both knew what it meant.

“WHAT?” Joel was screaming, enough to make you physically flinch. “You went outside the walls? Alone? What the hell were you thinking?”

“Joel, would you chill out? You’re scaring her” Tess glared at him. “Sweetie, come with me. Let’s talk where grumpy can’t bother us.” Taking your hand Tess brought you out into the hallway.

“No, but seriously, what the hell were you thinking?” She smacked the back of your head, eliciting an obnoxious yelp from you. “Outside the walls?”

“Tess, I can handle myself just fine. Plus I didn’t go far,” you countered.

“It’s not you that I’m worried about. Joel about damn near had a heart attack. I’ve never seen him like that. And your hand? He’s going to lose it!”

“It’s not a bite,” you answered looking down at the bandage.

“I know it’s not, you wouldn’t have come in the apartment if it was. You scared us both, Y/N. Just don’t do it again.” Tess sighed.

“I’m sorry. I won’t. But I do hope this makes up for it a little bit?” You smiled reaching into your pocket and pulling out-

“Chocolate?” She gasped pulling the bar out of your hand.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” you smiled at her.

“How’d you even get your hands on it?”

“A lot of shifts shoveling shit, and putting up with one handsy smuggler,” you laughed, earning a scowl from her. “It’s dark chocolate so I hope it hasn’t gone bad, but I know it was your favorite from before all of this.”

“Alright, you’re forgiven, and thank you.” She pulled you into a hug which was not something she did very often. “Now go back in there and talk to Joel. Hopefully, you’ve got some incredible sweet talk up your sleeves for this because he is pissed.” She smiled at you and walked off towards her place, leaving you to deal with the fallout of a very angry Joel.

You took one last deep breath before opening the door to your inevitable doom.

“Are you stupid, dumb, or both?” So that’s how he was going to start this.

“Joel, I can take care of myself just fine. I did it long before you or Tess came along,” you sighed moving to look at him. When your eyes finally focused in the dark you realized, he was wet. His clothes and his hair. “Joel, did you go out there and look for me?”

“Of course I did! What else did you expect me to do? Sit here in our place and wait for you to possibly come back home?” He yelled. “What in the hell possessed you to do something so damn reckless?”

“I didn’t go far. Not even a mile outside the walls! I was out there maybe an hour tops,” you yelled back.

“An hour is plenty enough time for you to end up dead or worse.” Bit. “Knowing you that ain’t too far off an option!”

“Are you saying that I’m stupid enough to not watch my own fucking back? I know how to survive out there! You’re not the only person in the world who can do it!” You couldn’t understand why he was so angry at you. He had no reason to be, no ulterior motive. He didn’t have to take care of you. You just worked together and were roommates essentially. And like he told you all those years ago, he won’t get attached.

“Yes, I am. Considering you went outside the QZ, at night, past curfew, in the rain, and alone! If that ain’t stupid I don’t know what is.” He huffed.

“And would you look at that, I came out unharmed!”

“Then what the hell is this?” He grabbed your bandaged hand and held it up like it was the final clue in a murder mystery movie.

“It’s fine,” you started unwrapping it, “the bleeding stopped a while ago so I should probably take this thing off.” There it was, just a bunch of superficial cuts littered across your palm. Some as faint as a paper cut others deep enough to leave a faint scar.

“How did you possibly do that?” Joel sighed inspecting your injury. He had calmed down considerably seeing how unharmed you really were.

“What time is it?” You asked gently pulling your arm back to you.

“2 am. Don’t avoid the question,” he nearly growled. You just ignored it, walking towards the backpack you had long since discarded on the table. Reaching in you pulled out what you had caused this argument over.

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands,” you said facing away from him.

“Are you fucking shitting me right now? Answer my damn question, Y/N,” he grumbled, starting to get himself angry again.

“Just do it Joel, Jesus Christ.” You took his disgruntled sigh as a sign that he gave in to your ridiculous request. Being as subtle as possible you put the gift in his hands, delighting in the confused look that graced his features. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

You smiled a little watching him inspect what you gave him, but then you watched as he frowned and your heart broke a little. “Flowers? You did all that just for some fucking flowers?”

“Well, I’m sorry you don’t like them,” you scowled.

“It’s ridiculous! All that danger for a couple of fucking wildflowers. It’s not important!”

“It is to me, Joel!” You snapped.

“They’re just flowers, for fuck sake.”

“I know I was young when this all started, but every year on Valentine’s Day, my mother and I would go out into the yard and pick flowers to bring to my father as his gift,” you paused gathering your breath in hopes to prevent your voice from breaking, and you wore you could’ve heard him mutter ‘shit’ under his breath. “My mom used to tell me that giving someone flowers was a way to show you care and that Valentine’s Day was the perfect day to do so. So I wanted to do it for you. I don’t expect anything out of you, I never have, and I know you don’t let anyone in. I just wanted to show you my appreciation for you. Give you something beautiful in this shithole of a world.”

Joel was frozen gazing over the flowers, stuck in whatever thought process he was in. It was agony for you, floating in limbo while Joel fought a war with his thoughts. You don’t know how long it was until you heard him release the breath you didn’t even notice he was holding in. “God, don’t you ever do that again, you understand me?” He relented, pulling you into a hug, a hand placed on the back of your neck and the other on your lower back. “I thought you were gone.”

“I don’t ever plan on leaving you, Joel,” you nuzzled into his chest, content to just live within his warmth like this.

“Now, seriously, how did you hurt your hand?” he sighed.

“Oh, I guess I forgot that a lot of these things have thorns in them. It was worth it though,” You smiled looking up at him.

“That’s because you got me weeds,” the lightest chuckle escaped him, which made your heart burst at the seams.

“You asshole,” you lightly shoved him through your giggles, breaking away from the hug. “They are beautiful flowers!”

“You risked your life to get me weeds because that’s what these are.” You just huffed at his commentary and tried to stomp away from him. That didn’t fly with him because he pulled you back into his embrace, holding you even tighter this time. “But thank you,” he whispered into the crown of your head, leaving a ghost of a kiss there.

#tlou #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal x reader #tlou imagine #the last of us imagine #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal angst #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction

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mewtwoandme · 3 months

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Alright imma be real with ya'll...

I haven't been doing great mentally lately. You guys have constantly heard me bitching about my seasonal depression and it getting in the way of my artistic motivation yada yada lol Well, it just keeps refusing to let up. I've been trying to fight it, work through it, hoping that it would go away if I just keep working, when in all honesty that's mentally draining me even more. Now, there have been a few times where the drive to draw would come in spurts and I would finish a few small things here and there and I recently did the new blog banner and all, but as quickly as that motivation appears, it vanishes again. It's been an ongoing cycle since December, I haven't been very productive at all with the more important things and I've barely even touched the Baby Arc since SD hit. And lately this rut has started to bleed into things outside of art and affect my motitivation to do daily responsibilities as well, to the point half the time I feel like a vegetable while house work continues to pile up around me...I'm thinking I may need to do things a bit differently for awhile.

Obviously it's been too difficult to draw right now. My SD had never been this severe before, so there needs to be a change. I can't keep up my usual routine of wake up, go to work, come home, draw, repeat. I need a bit more variety for the time being, maybe making time to do other things that make me happy aside from art will do me some good. That being said though...ugh I hate this, I don't even wanna say it, but the Baby Arc might have to be put off yet again for awhile. I thought about all this last night and was literally crying over it because like, I'm finally here!! We made it to the point of Blu being officially introduced and then seasonal depression decides to come in and fuck up everything I've been trying to do. Like I took a step forward, then three steps back! It just really feels like a kick to my nonexistent balls man...Regardless I think a step back right now is necessary, so hopefully you guys understand, yall usually do anyways ^^

So yeah, I guess here's another art hiatus...don't expect to see anything probably until the end of February, or even March, cause I'm hoping the SD will start to go away by then

#this whole post makes me angry #but its something i feel i need to do anyway #for my sanity's sake #cant help but feel disappointed in myself though...#mod speaks #mod announcement #art hiatus

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ja3hwa · 1 year

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Day 19 : Double Penetration : YunGi

「Title」 : Three Is Better

「Word count」 : 2.0k

-> Genre: Smut, College Au

Paring: (Mingi & Yunho) Boyfriend's YunGi x Reader

[Warnings] : Making out. Hickeys. Big dick Yunho and Mingi. Light-hearted sex. Poly relationship. Swearing. Pet names. Praise from Yunho. Mingi is a moaning mess. Multiple orgasms. Protected anal sex. Unprotected sex (Mingi didn't wrap it. Woops) Let me know If I missed anything

February Filth Fest Event Day Calendar

"Please, please. Please." You sounded like a broken record. One that had been broken by none other than the infamous bad boy Mingi and his best friend, Yunho. You were the good girl in school. You weren't popular by all means, but you weren't an outcast either. You had friends, and you did what every normal college student would do. You lived a normal life.... well, that was until Mingi, the deep-voiced boy from your musical art class, started to take interest in you.

Everyone wanted him and his friends. They were the idols of the school. But none of them were interested in relationships or flings or even hookups. Girls would lie, saying they'd been with them, but in truth, the boys were untouchable, and that made them even more desirable. Heck, they didn't even like human interaction with anyone other than their friend group. But yet when Mingi saw you, he knew he wanted you. And so did Yunho.

It became a game of cat and mouse. But in this case, it was two very large cats cornering one scared little mouse. You wanted it, though. As much as you fought it at first. You wanted the pleasure you knew they would provide. But part of you wanted to keep your dignity, not wanted to be plastered as a whore in the school. But Mingi and Yunho's reassured you that no one would come to know your dirty secret. And yet, no one would even believe it anyway if it were to get out.

So here you stand, with two large bodies holding you close in between them. Mingi's fingers were paced fast as you high came ripping closer and closer. Yunho's tongue lapped the bright purple marks on your soft skin, the ones he created so he could show others you were taken without anyone knowing who exactly gave them to you. They were both possessive over you. Learning more and more things about you and your body every time they had you in these situations.

"Mingi I..I.." You gripped his biceps, nails digging into his flesh as you could feel your orgasm approaching. Mingi just chuckled, going faster while Yunho snaked his hand from behind you to place a finger on your clit, circling it quickly in time with Mingi's thrusts.

"Fuck fuck fuck.." you swore, knees buckling, you fall into Yunho's arms, making him keep you up while they continue. Your orgasm comes quickly, Mingi letting out a chuckle at his work. You were so fucked out already and they hadn't even started yet. Yunho swopped you up, laying you on his bed while Mingi takes this time to undress, finally making you not the only one naked in the room. Yunho kisses your forehead whispering how good you were, making your heart jump at his words.

“Yunnie.” You shakily place a hand on his cheek, bringing him close so you could kiss him on the lips passionately. Yun’s hands snaked down your body, gripping your breast, giving them a squeeze. You moan into his mouth making him smile. The noises you made were always music to his ears.

“So Me or Yun first, baby? Since we chose last time.” Mingi rubbed your ankles as he stood by the end of the bed. You sat up, looking at your lover. A hard gulp ran down your throat as your tried to prepare yourself to answer him. You recently found you wanted to try a new thing but became unsure how to ask. No better time than the present, right?

“I…I want both of you..” You glance over to Yunho, “At the same time.” Mingi and Yunho could feel their dicks twitch at the idea. don’t get them wrong, they both fantasised about taking you at the same time but they didn’t want to scare you away with the act. But hearing the thought roll off your tongue, god it made them go feral. Yunho jumped up, ripping his shirt off while he jogged over to his dresser.

“Rock, paper, scissors,” Mingi shouted with a huge smile. You tilted your head in confusion as you watch Yunho strip down while he hold his fist out.

“Deal.” Yunho smirks, throwing the lube on the bed next to you before also placing his fist out. They swung, Mingi getting scissors, and Yunho getting rock.

“Fuck!” Mingi swears with a whimpering tone. Yunho laughs smugly walking over to you with pride. He lets his hand out for you to take, so he could pull you up off the bed so you can stand on your wobbly legs. Did they really just play rock, paper, scissors for who fucks you in which hol-

“Oh god….” your cheeks run a blush in a similar shade to Mingis pink hair. Yunho twirls you so you face Mingi and he could stand behind you. He kisses your neck from behind, rubbing your ass slightly before letting his hand land a smack on your soft skin.

“Next time Min. But right now, this ass is mine.” Yunho chuckles to himself.

He lathers himself up with lube and then coats his fingers again. With one finger he begins prodding at your ass before slipping it in slowly. It’s a foreign feeling and it has you squirming under his touch. He murmurs something in your ear you can’t quite make out but it’s all a blur anyways when he begins sucking at your neck. He adds another finger and he has to hold you in place. It’s almost painful but the lube is a blessing.

Mingi is suddenly in your sight, grabbing your chin to look at him. “Keep your eyes on me, I wanna see your face.”

Mingi cups your core, chuckling slightly at how wet you still were... He’s able to slip two fingers in easily and the noise that comes from your lips is something that you wouldn’t imagine. They go at two different paces and you can’t think. You forget that you’re meant to be looking at Mingi and you focus on him. Yunho has to hold you up as your knees keep wanting to give way. You have never felt this much before in your life.

“I...I feel weird..” The tingle in your gut was growing differently than any other orgasms you’ve ever experienced before. You lent more into Yunhos body, while Mingi got down on his knees so he could be face to face with your dripping pussy. His tongue licks a long strip, making you gasp out, gripping his short hair. His fingers got faster while Yunho stayed at the same pace, making your brain shortcircuit. Before you could tell what was going on, you were cumming all over mingi’s face.

“Fuck our baby just squirted,” Mingi said in amusement while Yunho chuckled against your ear, making you blush even more than you were prior. They both pulled out making you whine. You left dizzy, unable to register what was happening. All you could do was watch Mingi disappear for a second before reappearing with a towel, wiping his face clean with a smug smile plastered to it. You could hear the sound of a wrapper being opened behind you. You glanced over your shoulder, seeing Yunho rolling a condom on his thick length. He had a sweet smile but you knew this man had a dark side. He was going to enjoy ruining you.

“Okay, Min, lay back and let our baby ride you.” Mingi does what Yunho asks, laying down on the bed so you can straddle his hips. You guide his cock to your entrance and sink down on him, watching his face contort as you squeeze his length. He fills you perfectly, hitting spots inside you that make you see stars. Fuck, you swear every time you feel his cock it gets bigger. From behind, you suddenly feel Yunho’s fingers, slick from the lube, slide against your ass like he had done before. You shiver at the feeling but welcome it, angling your hips so he has better access.

“You feel so perfect squeezing me,” Mingi moans from below you, hands reaching out to grope your breasts in order to distract you from the discomfort you might feel soon enough.

“Isn’t she tight, Min. Always so good for us ?” Yunho grins, pressing a finger into your ass. You hold your breath at the feeling, but Minigi just whispers calming words to you. You relax into them as Yun slowly moves his finger. One finger becomes two, and you ride Mingi a bit harder as you warm up to the feeling. He grips your hips and guides you on his large cock, working the pleasure from you.

“Please, Yuyu, please,” you beg, leaning back up against his chest. He kisses your neck and smiles at your neediness.

“You ready for me, Darling?” he teases, thrusting his fingers at a quicker pace.

“Fuck yes, Yunho, I need you so bad.” Yun pulls you into a bruising kiss as he removes his fingers and replaces them with the tip of his cock.

“You’re doing so good for us, baby. Now be a good girl and take a deep breath.” Yunho keeps kissing you as he presses his cock further and further inside of you. Mingi helps you relax, but you can tell it’s difficult for him too. His strokes are getting messy as you get tighter around him. His release to coming quicker than he expected. Only a thin wall now separates Yunho and Mingi’s cocks, and that just turns them on even more. It turns you on even more.

They pump into you simultaneously, finding the perfect rhythm that makes your heart stutter. You’re at mercy to them, putty in their hands while their thrusts become different pacing, making it near hard to breathe. All you can do is moan and beg, your brain becoming jelly the harder they fuck you. With their stamina, they seem to last so much longer than other men. It was like they were some type of super soldiers They bring you to orgasm after orgasm, pleasing you seems to be their only goal.

“I’m gonna come,” Mingi whimpers from below you, fingers digging into your hips with bruising force. “Please, I’m gonna come.” Yunho leans over to bite your shoulder, pumping into your ass with deeper strokes than ever.

“You gonna cum Doll? You want Min to cum inside you?” Yunho’s fingers wrap around your neck, giving it a tight squeeze.

“Oh my god, Mingi, please give it to me. Please come inside me,” you moan through your strong high, gripping onto Yun’s arm. Mingi comes on a long, drawn-out moan, sending Yunho over the edge right after. He thrusts into you a few more times before he becomes too sensitive, then they’re both pulling out.

The three of you fall into a heap on the bed, panting and sweating for a moment. Yunho kisses you deeply before shifting to give Mingi the same treatment. Yunho gets up to grab a washcloth while Mingi holds you tightly, pampering your face with sweet kisses. They take care of you sweetly. Ensuring not to irritate your sensitive skin, Yunho cleans you up, and together you and Mingi care for Yunho. Once you are all done, you flop on the bed with Yunho on his back and you half on top of him. Mingi cuddles up next to you, wrapping his arms around your waist while nuzzling his face into your shoulder. it was silent for a moment, the only things that could be heard were your bumping hearts and breathing that finally began to slow down. It was peaceful until Mingi opened his big, smug mouth.

“Ready for round two?”

You have never wanted to slap him so much as right now.

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cloveroctobers · 2 months

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FEBRUARY FLUFF — CARMY BERZATTO.

A/N: so carmy won this time around!!! Thanks to all those that voted and ultimately made this decision for me lol. Hope you guys enjoy this and have a safe, healthy, and happy love season 🩷 + yes this is a mixture of fluff and angst...i mean come on! I wouldn't be me if i didn't include that in here somewhere!

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 1. “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.” “What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” + always giving the other the first bite of their food < or the last.

WARNINGS/SN: I wrote with a black or brown reader in mind although reader isn't physically described + they’re given a name only when mentioned, language is a thing here duh!, this is LENGTHY, lots of timelines: reader + nat became friendly before season 1 during the summer prior to 7 fishes which is estimated to be five years before season 2, reader knows of carmy due to past work, I feel like she can be just a few year(s) older than carmy but younger than nat—there’s a age gap for the Berzatto’s anyways, sexual relations are mentioned, this piece takes place months after the grand opening, & finally there’s a possible chance for a poly relationship or maybe just multiple crushes going on? Take that how you will.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

it was a Sunday.

The kind of Sunday you woke up embarrassed about but knew you had to swallow your pride and just send out that text. You knew you wouldn’t be judged regardless reaching out to Fak because he’s built to deal with things like this and never made you feel like shit about anything.

You usually had to squeeze it out of him to get him to lay out any cons about a situation but appreciated most times when he didn’t. Your minds been going haywire with a recent assignment as a food journalist and it really slipped your mind, although you were usually a quick thinker, you’ve been stressed over this recent restaurant. Thankfully it clicked for you after throwing a tantrum to simply reach out to Fak to come help you out.

The stupid lever in your bathroom decided to stop flushing on you and of course you panicked. Who wouldn’t panic in a situation like that? You no longer had a roommate and strongly debated if you even wanted to search for another; after the shady actions of the previous one, so you really didn’t have to worry about them giving you shit either. (Let’s see if your rent feels the same next month!)

It was just you in the end and perhaps you were learning to be okay with that.

Yet that didn’t stop you from FaceTiming Sydney about it. “Hey Siddy, how’s your day going?”

“Pretty good, yours?” She politely asked as she moved down the hallway of her shared apartment to prop her phone on the pedestal sink, moving around her functioning bathroom to grab some oil to grease her scalp.

Smacking your lips you glare, “it fucking sucks.”

“Oh?” Sydney questioned, appearing back in frame, “what happened? Did someone egg and scratch up your car again after a review you gave them? Noo wait, don’t tell me there’s a bullet hole?!”

That was light work compared to New York (it really wasn’t a competition of which state had its worst moments but your home state left you kinda triggered, not gonna lie!) where you were just starting off and those that were in tune with the culinary world didn’t take your words with a grain of salt. Most nights you still woke up gasping for air, reaching for your throat due to some trauma of a break in from a well-known nepo-baby chef. Don’t get that twisted, your mom didn’t raise no punk but that didn’t mean those events didn’t mess with your mental and you acknowledged that every time you had a nightmare. They only served three years and five months compared to the original five year sentence.

Ah the system…got to love how that works out for the privileged!

You shrugged, “no…the threats have been pretty tame lately so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. However! I still am in a crisis.”

Sydney begins to move her braids around to expose her scalp, “Elaborate for me.”

“My toilet won’t flush!” You whine, laying flat on your messy bed. You tended to not make your bed on Saturdays and didn’t get around to making it today—although it was after 3pm.

Sydney asks, “Like the waste won’t go down…?”

“Exactly!” You confirm throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically, “The lever thing is moving like my old dislocated shoulder.”

Sydney gags, “don’t fucking remind me of that day. That was spooky to witness but I am glad you healed from that.”

“Thanks girl, means a lot, truly.”

Sydney gives a small smile, “don’t mention it…have you considered YouTubing it? That’s what I do when I don’t want to ask anyone for help and figure it out by myself.”

You hummed knowing this was true. In a sense you could be like that too, especially when it came to the working field, since writers can tend to be some nasty bitches and always in rivalry with each other. You made a name for yourself in Chicago as well, coming from New York where you worked just as hard-maybe even harder than the rest to mean and write exactly how you felt about cuisine, regardless if anyone agreed or not. It wasn’t about if people liked you, the relationship with food would always be more significant and hold value in your life, just like the rest of these chef’s you encountered and you got that, people were allowed to be sensitive about their work. You’ve come toe to toe with many chef’s around the world who didn’t like your take on their craft but that didn’t mean you didn’t understand them. They hardly took the time to really dive into your ratings and automatically took it as you shit talking or not having any idea what you were saying since you “weren’t really a chef,” but you knew your worth most days.

Yes you could be straight forward but that didn’t mean you lacked compassion like some chef’s liked to think according to your reviews. You often wrote in a way that was puzzling to some, almost philosophical or riddle like with your own twist. Some just didn’t get it and that was okay but you wouldn’t back down from any confrontation. The second they didn’t want to really listen, that’s when you removed yourself from the escalating problem. It didn’t have to get violent like some wanted to inflict.

“Why didn’t I think of that?!” You exasperated, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead.

Sydney snorted, “maybe because you’re under a lot of pressure lately and the most simplest of things don’t come as easily as they should.”

“You would think I have high blood pressure with the way these past two weeks have been.”

Sydney says, “give it time.”

“Gee, thanks! That’s exactly the kind of shit I want to hear from you.” You roll your eyes at the blurt of words that commonly escaped the braided girl’s mouth.

Sydney breathes out a laugh, “I’m just joking!”

“Yeah, yeah! Maybe I should text fak back and tell him not to come by!”

“You asked fak instead of the apartment manager?” Sydney is in amazement.

“Fuck that noise, he’s so full of shit that he should see a doctor about it. He’ll show up to analyze the problem, then acts like he’s going to fit you into the schedule and then when you catch him in the lobby he pretends that he has amnesia.” You commented with a scowl.

You get ready to minimize the call to text fak but some obnoxious knocks at the door made you pop up from your bed. “That was fast!”

Hopping up from the bed and padding out of the last bedroom in the apartment, you made the journey through the foyer to the awaiting black front door. Peeking through the peephole you spot Fak grinning widely up into it, almost making you jump back.

“He’s made it Siddy! I’ll call you back!”

“K. Good luck!” Sydney calls out before you end the call to pull the door wide open.

“Neil!” You scream, quickly latching onto his tatted wrist ready to yank him in until you notice someone else is with him, “…why is he here?” You point.

Fak quickly glances over at a brimmed Carmy who raised a brow at him in a silent told you so manner, “I mean we were having a boy’s day when you called and I didn’t want my buddy to be left out. Plus, it’s always great to have some assistance.”

“…i find it hard to believe that Carmen wants to fix my toilet.” You cross your arms, poking out your hip as you stare at him.

Carmen shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to wait in the car if it makes you feel any better.”

“Hmm…it doesn’t.”

Carmy rolls his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose briefly in agitation, “you know what, fak you’ve got this right? I know you do so—

“Nope!” Fak quickly interrupts, “this maybe a two person job so aspie if you just let us do what we came to do—

Shooting an arm out to block the doorway you peer into Fak’s dark teal eyes to show you mean business, “didn’t I say I dislike that nickname, Neil?”

He nods.

“Also i find it offensive that you brought an uninvited guest to my place.”

“Just be glad it wasn’t Richie because that was also a possibility before he ran off to pick up the kid.” Carmy snaps making you roll your eyes.

If Richie was here you been would have slammed the door in both Fak and his face. Sure you had some sort of tension with Carmy and beef with .......his cousin but at least Carmy only gave it back to you when he had the energy to—meaning if he was already on one. The issue was simple, you wrote a not so nice review once before when the eldest berzatto, Michael was alive and running the joint. Richie couldn’t forget that and actually kept the clipping, yes the clipping of the review way back when. He had the receipts to show Carmy and Carmy actually brushed it off then, not seeming to really care or doubt some of the words that were said.

He came to revamp the place because Mikey left it for him, to fix the mess his big brother left behind, to create what they’ve always dreamed of. Sure he got shit for it in the beginning and part of him felt like maybe that was your case too? He could relate to you on that, yet the weight was slightly different on his part and he even spoke with you not long after he found those tomato cans.

That gave him a certain push he couldn’t really explain. He may have done a brief dive on you, wondering why you felt acquainted to him—completely forgetting about seeing you once around Noma—choosing to start with reading previous reviews by you on other restaurants here in Chicago and a few interviews you’ve done over the world. You weren’t just some nobody, you held your titles well and it reflected in your work.

You weren’t clueless.

He just didn’t really know what he was dealing with until a short time ago.

What he didn’t expect was for you to show up again on opening night with a certain head chef, also from New York. That made carmy more anxious than anything, seeing you sitting beside that four eyed fuck ready to set off a tornado in the heart of the bear. Was that your motive all along? With carmy attempting to build a bridge, not for you to kiss his ass with praise but there was a odd need to have a simple conversation with you. It was weird but it seemed like Sydney, Fak, and Nat liked you?

The jury was still out with the rest—except Richie but you were a mystery to Carmy. However carmy wasn’t the best at putting a read on people or their emotions in the first place, he was good at fucking that up unless you’re screaming it into his face. That’s just how he operated.

“You two can come in—only because I don’t have the patience with the manager here and Neil’s the best I’m gonna get.” You state while fak slaps a hand on his chest.

“That was really sweet, Aspen.” Fak cooed ready to pull you into a bone crushing hug but you hold up a finger.

“Save the hugs until after you fix my problem.”

“You got it boss,” Fak salutes before diving under your arm to travel through your apartment, ooo-ing and ah-ing before finding the bathroom around the corner from the living room.

Sighing you drop your arm and wave carmy through, who keeps his view straight while traveling through the hallway. You call out to him, “you can have a seat on the couch.”

“What? Did you drop a load or something and is that the real reason why you don’t want me to help Fak?” Carmy comes right out with it, nose twitching in amusement after whipping around to face you in the center of the living room.

See…only when he’s frustrated or overly focused will he just let it out. Some may look at this as Carmy attempting to make a joke but you took that somewhat personally. The only thing you were thinking after he said this was: What an ego on this one huh?

You stop on your heels and tilt your head to the side, “are you telling me that you think women or fem pronoun users don’t take shits? Do you know what it feels like to have period shits?”

Carmy blinks at you and shouts with his hands out, “I...don't even know what the fuck you're getting at? I wasn't even trying to be sexist to you just then! I asked you a honest question—

“About you being in my business,” you pointed out, “contrary to your beliefs I have a heart and decided to be nice to you and let you stay in my place to keep warm. You’re welcome!”

“Oh bullshit, don’t act like you’re doin’ me any favors.” Carmy scowls, “you don’t even want me here.”

You shrug, “yet you’re here in my apartment, yelling.”

Carmy exhaled while you smirked at him sweetly before turning to lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom.

“Everything okay in there, Neil?”

“Oh yeah!” He says, “I think I figured out the problem. Easy peasy!”

“Great!” You exclaim, pulling your phone out from your sweats to read a very important email.

The weight of stress seemed to lift a good chunk as you quickly responded to a email that you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been invited out (squeezed in) to a taste test at this restaurant for this evening that you’ve been trying to get into for a month before you brought it up to your employer. The deadline was approaching for the end of this week to have a review ready and they just responded to you five days before that deadline! Reading over it twice, the squeal in you slipped through your smile until you read the exceptions.

If you were to go over the amount of food purchased, which you would put on the company card anyways, you can get a discount if you brought a plus one and some reimbursement if the review was satisfactory to the owners—which the last part wasn’t unfamiliar to you.

You usually didn’t bring a plus one to any of the places you did reviews for, you got comfortable doing outings all on your own but this was different. Sure you were somewhat known in the culinary world but that didn’t mean you were a millionaire and this restaurant was apparently upscale. There was a waiting list regardless of your status—even for the celebrities that went there so this was a big deal and they gave you a short notice. Usually Sundays were known for a reset for the week but what better way to start it?

You don’t go forward with reaching out to anybody else that you work with. This was your battle and you were aware that two of your other co-workers also reached out to this restaurant. You just hoped you were the only one they picked and wouldn’t miss out on the great opportunity just because you weren’t sure about your guest.

A few hours before show time and you had to find somebody to attend with you. Your best friend was away in Cabo for a honeymoon, the other (who recently planned on moving to ATL) was dealing with the flu and had their no good ex boyfriend taking care of them, Sydney was suddenly MIA, and you even considered inviting Natalie Berzatto to piss carmy off just a bit.

“Hey, Nat!” You greet into the phone as you walk into the kitchen, witnessing Carmy perk up from the couch.

It’s small talk at first: you asking about how her day is going as a mom to be, if she’s going to be at the bear tomorrow, did she watch the Emmy’s the other night, tell her husband you said hello, and then finally if she had plans for tonight.

“…are you asking me to hang out?”

“We had fun at that club way back when no?”

“Yeah! But that was how long ago?”

You knew it’s been awhile. You were always friendly with Natalie, meeting her first—well second out of the siblings down at the small mart one summer you helped out at that your great-uncle owned. She was huffing about something her boyfriend at the time, Pete forgot to bring her and some groceries she was picking up for her mom. You were cool enough to become Facebook friends, exchange numbers, go out for coffee and go to the club together. This wasn’t unusual to call each other randomly but you knew she commonly got shit from Michael and Richard about her talking and hanging out with you.

The thing about Natalie Berzatto is that she always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes she saw your review yet she kinda laughed about it initially but it was all fuck you’s from the other two loud mouth’s. Of course she was going to listen to her brother but she still had a mind of her own. she didn’t care to listen to Richie go off but she understood how Michael felt, although she was the only other Berzatto that heard you out.

Except you didn’t owe anybody an explanation even if some felt you were more cutthroat in your younger years.

“...Before you and Pete even thought about marriage?”

You were younger than them but you imagined how it would always work out for Nat and Pete, which included growing old together.

“Wow! Yeah that sounds right.”

“So…?”

“Can’t do it.”

“You didn’t even hear all the details!”

“I know, I know and it sounds like it’ll be a real fucking blast but if this kid wasn’t sitting on my sciatic nerve constantly and if my feet weren’t the size of two honeydews…I totally would! But I’ll have to decline this time around—so please don’t hate me!”

“I could never!”

“You know you could always ask carmy-

“Why on earth would I do that?” Your reply was instant.

Natalie sighed over the phone, “aspen…the potential of friendship and love is a beautiful thing.”

You scrunched up your face at the phone before placing it back to your ear.

“Do you want me to hang up on you?”

“I’d call you a rude bitch if you did but then get over it.”

“I can live with that because I know it’s real love between you and I.”

“…whatever that means.”

“Right.”

You both laugh, knowing just how weird the subject of love can be. Although you didn’t talk all the time it was always okay for one of the other to drop a venting text or call each other’s way and know the other would get around to responding. The both of you may not be the best of friends but you did consider each other friends regardless. There were conversations between the both of you that no one knew about and would be a constant reminder of what kind of friends the both of you would remain.

Natalie wished things could have been resolved between you and Michael but she reassured that the dislike wasn’t as deep as it seemed. There was no secret that you felt awful about how his life ended and being there for nat during that time also meant a lot. She told you that one of the last conversations she had with Michael was about you and it felt as if he was learning to let go of your review, slowly taking in Nat’s words of you not having a cruel bone in your body especially with all that you’ve done for her.

Anybody that showed his sister true friendship couldn’t be complete garbage. As much as he tolerated Pete, Michael was always aware that he was good enough for his sister. They were all cut from different cloths and the Berzatto’s were just from the same but opposite corner’s.

Natalie telling you this was not to erase any worries you had since that is always brought to the surface when someone you’ve been face to face with before decides to end it all. It was to show you that nobody ever truly knows what anyone is thinking whether there is love there or not.

You can feel Natalie smiling through the phone, “Think about it…all that tension could be smoothed out if you extend the olive branch…now it’s your turn.”

“It’s not my fault he switched up on me after your opening night.” You didn’t lower your voice or make it louder but you were definitely staring at carmy now who was side eyeing you, looking like phineas from phineas and ferb.

“That’s something you need to talk to him about, don’t you think?” Her tone was always so gentle that it made you sick sometimes because she could be right.

“I’m not here to do think pieces.”

“…aren’t you a writer?”

“Have a good night, nat.”

“Ta-Ta!” Natalie sing-songs, “be sure to send me the deets later because carmy never tells me anything! Bye! Chat later!”

Hanging up the phone, you slide it onto the counter and tap your nails against the island. To the right of you, you pick up on some clinking in the bathroom—which sounds somewhat normal and zone in on carmy who’s also holding onto his phone but staring at the blank tv in thought.

“Hey, Carmen.” You call his name.

His bright blues turn to you as if he hasn’t been eavesdropping on your conversation here and there between his texts with Marcus.

“You. Me. The Saffron Simmer. 7pm.”

The air is frigid as the both of you hunch your shoulders shoving through Chicago’s winter. Shockingly the streets are filled with cars tonight so you had to park on the next street over before walking up and around to The Saffron Simmer. Carmy offered to drive, which was a debate—no shock there—since there was no way he was leaving the bear stock van behind for no license having fak to play around in.

Fak definitely found that offensive and said he didn’t mind hanging out at your place, being done with your toilet but with the look you sent him he said he’s find an Uber or fak2 can pick him up. It’s not like you didn’t trust fak in your place…it’s just that the possibilities of what he can get into are endless.

You also didn’t want to ride in the bear’s van not because of shallow reasons, you just wanted to annoy carmy just a bit more for fun. Walking mostly everywhere was the way to go growing up in New York and Carmy working there so doing so here in Chicago wasnt foreign either. However with the type of cold here in this city is enough to give the bravest of hearts hypothermia. So obviously driving was the best option, it’s just the petty back and forth between you two of who will drive had to be spewed.

Eventually you gave in and sat in the passenger side of the van, being on DJ duty for the twenty-five minute drive—something carmy didn’t care to argue over. The both of you made it on time, throwing the door back for carmy to catch then bouncing on your toes while he blew into his gloveless hands waiting on the greeter to find your reservation.

The pictures didn’t do The saffron simmer any justice. There was so much to look at with its modernized speakeasy décor and the high ceilings did a superb job of making the both of you feel small in the spacious space. Thankfully the dress code was business casual so you didn’t have to go all out but you still put in the effort of looking your best in simple attire. You’re shrugging out of your scarf, earmuffs, and puffer coat while Carmy is already seated; with only the removal of his cap across from you in a chair.

He’s watching you as you place everything neatly to the right of you before you're taking a seat in the leather oversized chair, then digging through your tote to pull out your notepad, Sony camera, phone, and bolt pen. You quickly scribble something on the first line and circle it before dropping your pen.

Rolling the sleeves of your long sleeves back underneath your blazer, you roll your shoulders with a close of your eyes before opening them with a look of determination.

“Wow, that was something.” Carmy tells you, making you set your eyes back on him, forgetting just that quick that he was your plus one.

Clasping your hands together you quirk up a brow, “What?”

“Watching you prep.”

You dip your head, “should have seen me before I got dressed…much worse.”

A smirk appears on the corner of Carmy’s lips, “oh yeah?”

“Well yes, I can contain myself in public, Carmen. Your home is supposed to be your safe space so that’s the best place to go a little crazy sometimes.” You inform, yet still not giving too much away.

“Why are you in your head about this place anyway?” Carmy peers around the slightly filled dining area before meeting your eyes once more.

You lift your shoulders, “have you seen the way they market this place? Giving not too much away although it’s top ten restaurants here and I can either contribute to its success or its downfall. They picked me for a reason so my review matters at the end of this year.”

“But you uh-get a thrill out of this shit don’t you? It’s what you signed up for, right?” Carmy is actually relaxed against the chair across from you.

Which is a sight to see.

You state, “it’s part of the job, if that’s what you mean.”

Carmy blinks and seems to get it, “and so you stay.”

“So I stay.” You echo while holding his stare, which is broken by a piece of the stone table lifting and showcasing the menu illuminated by sepia lighting in the dark of the restaurant.

Carmy’s bright eyes are wide as he stares at the menu that appears right in front of your faces. There’s a grin on your face as you rest your fingertips around its rough edges, almost as if you were expecting this while carmy blows out a breath.

“The hell is this place?”

You peek over at him, “some next level shit, berzatto.”

“Yeah…I think I’m starting to catch on.”

You turn your attention back to the menu, swiping your fingertips along the touch screen although you’ve heard things about the menu, which they kept offline since apparently it renews monthly.

“What looks good?”

“Uh…these pages aren’t even labeled." Carmy exhales through his nose, eyes searching all over the tablet, "I have no clue. You?”

The words come at ease for you, "One of almost everything maybe?”

“Sounds good...I guess?”

“On me by the way,” you state with a wink as you flash your company card.

“I’ll get the tip then.” Carmy pats his jeans, the left containing his carton of cigarettes, the right holding his keys, lifting his hips he checks for his wallet although he’s been sitting on his behind for about ten minutes now.

You don’t argue with that, eyes in awe at the selection of items as you start ordering, “don’t forget to order your drink.”

“Water should be fine,” Carmy mutters to himself, eyes scanning over the first strange title of water that is described as flower and ginger infused purified water and decides to go with that.

You finally express after rapidly letting your fingers go over the screen and taking a picture with your phone, “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.”

It sounded so easy to you as you quickly shifted to pick up your pen and start writing notes.

“What was that?” Carmy pressed his elbows into the edge of the table, making sure he heard you right since he’s not even sure if he can trust his inner thoughts lately.

You’re still scribbling but also turning your face towards the messy haired chef, “you heard me. We have to act like we’re in a relationship because I’ve definitely went over the budget on the card.”

“That’s not really my problem?”

“Yes it is,” you demand, “you agreed to be my plus one so that’s that. Plus this menu further confirmed my suspicions from the email.”

Carmy scratches at his brow confused, “what are you talking about, aspen?”

“Here,” you swipe across your screen towards Carmy’s device, which brings up another screen instantly to carmy who’s in awe but scans over the details.

You didn’t share the email with him but he’s heard about how high tech this restaurant is but didn’t have the time to do his own research.

*Significant others in attendance are subject to applicable discounts.*

Carmy feels his stomach cramp at the fine print and it so small that he was sure anyone could have missed that.

Not you.

“…how exactly are we supposed to prove that, hm?” He's gripping at his greasy hair now, feeling himself getting a bit worked up about this.

You fanned your hand along, “just do what couples do and follow my lead...Depending on our witnesses,” you whisper as you look around, “they could always assume that’s what we are anyways.”

Part of carmy didn’t like how that came off.

“What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” Flies out of Carmy’s mouth before he can even process what he’s saying.

That stoops you too, making you press your back against the chair in thought. That wouldn’t be going down in the notes, as you stare at the pen in between your fingers for a moment. Which brings you back to Carmy’s tatted fingers first that touched you in ways that romance novelist craved to write about.

So you may have left that out, how a shared conversation about the “heartless” review of then Chicagoland turned the bear melted into hot and heavy actions in the front seat of your Mazda. It hits you in those same flashes you take of dishes: the unsure sloppy kisses, you taking the lead to get Carmy to just touch you, shaky hands that trace the tattoo from your rib cage down to your hip before soon holding steady and angled just right beneath your red tapered trousers.

“Where did that come from?” You question just as a server greets you, delivering drinks and announcing the small plates should be out in the next five minutes with a timer appearing on both of the stone tablets.

Carmy says, “you—you didn’t just think I forget right?”

“Well I was hoping.” You were honest, “neither of us are ready for relationships—especially hearing about you and Claire.”

Carmy felt his eye twitch, “and how do you know about that?”

Sydney.

You wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that although you could tell carmy already knew.

“I have my resources but don’t think I’ve been asking around about you or anything like that.” You sipped at the raspberry mint cocktail, it could be stronger.

His thumbs are shaking first on the table top but his icy stare made your chest pulsate in a way you didn't particularly like, “…would that be so bad?”

You and carmy didn’t exactly know each other well enough besides a conversation once had and with his hand down your pants! and you trying to get him to crash, clothes still on right in the center of his lap—It was a spur of the moment hookup and you could tell it was not something that happened often for carmy. He never had time for it or bothered to get attached but there was something about you that had him thinking otherwise. What was supposed to be a one time thing that you swept to the back of your mind was being brought up again.

The annoyance overtook what that feeling brought in the front seat of your ride. You weren’t ignoring carmy after that but the both of you had a lot on your plate with him renovating a restaurant and you diving back into your own work. Both fields of work seemed to matter more and not once did you think he ever thought about you in that way.

Communication was important people!

And here you thought he wanted nothing to do with you, especially with you showing up to the grand opening of The Bear. Now here you were months later, basically at your benefit, face to face hearing only pieces of what Carmen Berzatto was thinking.

“Hey, guys!” A familiar voice gathers your attention and you both turn to see Sydney smiling at you two.

Carmy widens his eyes, “Syd, what’re you doing here?”

Sydney snorted, “doing the same thing you’re doing? Having dinner.”

“Right.” He lightly shakes his head.

“Oh my god…am I interrupting this um? Date?” Sydney quickly connected the dots eyeing the both of you back and forth while you’re choking on your drink, “you okay?”

She pats your back for you while you gasp and Carmy slides over his water your way although you have your own glass near by. Gaining some air, you swallow some water and breathe through your nose. Normally you would have a response for Sydney’s joke but given what carmy just said to you had your mind running along with some burning tears you wiped away.

“So this is where you’ve been instead of answering me back?” You decide to switch the subject-you were great at that-wheezing a bit while Carmy scoffs and looks away.

Sydney frowns, “huh? When did you call me besides the FaceTime call…” she starts and pulls out her phone, “oh shit sorry. I placed it on do not disturb like thirty minutes after you didn’t call me back. I got wrapped into some entail about the menu from one of the chef’s that works here and is also a friend.”

Carmy speaks, “Didn’t know you had a connect with anybody here, Syd.”

“Can’t reveal all my moves, Carm.” She winks and lightly elbows him while Carmy sends her a small smile and a shake of his head.

Carmy asks, “scooping out our competition?”

“Only a little," She pinches her fingers before continuing, "and my dad thought it would be a place I wanted to try.” Sydney admits, “and if you two weren’t on a date I’d say let’s make this a group thing! so I’ll be going! I see my dad coming back from the bathroom…he’s got like a bladder problem and I don’t know why I’m sharing that with you two. But bye! Enjoy and just know I’ll be keeping my eye on you two.”

“Fuck,” carmy exhaled feeling his nerves rising, “don’t do that.”

Sydney chuckles to herself and sends a wave to you two before walking back to her table by the window.

“Siddy kicked me to the curb for her dad,” you sigh resting your cheek into your knuckles for a moment, “can’t be mad at that.”

“But you can be mad at me for what exactly?”

“You wanna do this with me right now?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“I thought we could move past what happened—

“You can say it you know? Me with my fingers inside—

“Excuse me!” You hiss, “I don’t need you to repeat action by action thank you. I was there too. We both know what happened, we’d agreed we can coexist around this big ass city. I show up to support—

“Did you though?” Carmy pressed, “support me? Or am I waiting for something else to be thrown at me with your upcoming review?”

“What?!” You bite, “is that what your stank ass attitude is about?”

Carmy tightened his jaw just as the first serving was handed over. You let him sulk in that for some time as you study the plating of the four appetizers, making note of each before taking more pictures with your sony.

“I wasn’t there to write a review.” You reply.

“I saw you—

“Let me finish. I understand pressure so I get it but you have to learn to channel your anger and this grief, elsewhere and deal with it better without projecting it onto any and everybody. I’ll tell you that right now that won’t get you anywhere and especially with me, Carmen.” You affirm.

You’ve been in Carmy’s position before so you can speak with experience. He seemed to always be waiting for the worse to continue filling up his plate but it takes time to accept the good in life. He was giving you something but you weren’t sure it was the best option for the both of you and you weren’t afraid to say that.

“Alright…I didn’t come here to talk about feelings either you know? That’s what those meetings are for.” Carmy spills just a tad.

You stare at the vibrant but delicate plating but his tone and the soft upbeat tempo above your heads don’t go unnoticed. “What did you come here for then?”

Carmy blinks and snatches up a spoon, almost weighing it in his hands before he dives the utensil into the dish. He stares as the stretch of cheese, twisting the spoon to break it apart before holding the Macaroni and Brie with Crab out for you to take the first bite.

He doesn’t answer for awhile and so you do the honors of taking a bite and savoring it's texture and taste.

“…that’s not my favorite.” You announce and notice that Carmy waited for your view.

He raises his brows, “tell me about it?”

“They need different plating.” You deeply sigh, “I know that type of plating works best for a dessert and that’s not it. There’s more breadcrumbs than meat, which seems to not be fully removed from its shell so be careful with that. It’s also lacking flavor even with the brie, which is my least favorite kind of cheese in Mac, although many swear by it.”

Carmy flicks his attention to your disappointment to you scribbling into your notepad with a shake of your head. If he was making you a dish, he’d try his hardest to make sure it was everything you ever wanted.

He quickly has his share and thinks to himself.

Carmy can agree, this was lacking flavor and the breadcrumbs didn’t even have a crunch to them. You can’t just depend on the cheese to give you flavor in Mac and cheese.

“What’s your favorite dish? I—I don’t think I ever asked you that. We just went straight into talking about the beef.”

And doing dirty things in the front seat but who needs to relive that?!

You look up from your notes and lift your chin, “you’re looking at it. It’s childish I know...but that’s exactly what it reminds me of: my childhood. Mac and cheese! then as I got into my adulthood…crab kinda took over. Which is funny because I hated on it for so long growing up. My papa—my grandad, he helped my mom raise me, he's from Ocean City so you can only imagine the amount of seafood on our table.”

You’re smiling to yourself and Carmy can’t help but to feel his small laughter lines appear by his lips as you’re locked into some memory only you can remember vividly. This was the most Carmy was learning about you, sure it may not look like much but he didn’t feel the need to dissociate even if at times he really couldn’t help it.

You were the question mark that he wanted to figure out and get all the answers to. Maybe it was his gut and he shouldn’t have blabbed to sugar about you because now Carmy was thinking this was Michael’s doing.

If you believe in that shit.

So the both of you take your time trying the small dishes before getting the main courses. It seems the longer you sit across from each other—the tension was definitely still there especially with Sydney’s eyes burning into the two of you across the room and attempting to not get caught—although she had once or twice but gradually it lifted as you and carmy shared this time together.

He watched you work while you asked for his input before you told your own. He also provided a few things he would do to tweak it if he agreed with what you didn’t enjoy. Which was eye-opening for you, yes you went to school for journalism and sat in on some cooking classes once that also tied into your passion for learning. After completing your first degree you decided culinary may take you to different heights and enrolled into culinary school. You didn’t find the need to continue going through with being a chef after Copenhagen, finding writing to be your stronger suit but you still understood food and the relationship with it when it came to chef’s.

So you took carmy’s input into consideration.

With the last serving being a Asian dessert called, “Jjan Hae,” which consisted of: coconut rice pudding served with fresh citrus (orange, grapefruit, kumquat) and coffee ice cream, topped with crispy pop rice & a shot of Korean rice wine, it was a strange concept but the both of you came to terms with the dessert working well.

Carmy even took a video to show Marcus tomorrow at the bear and sent a photo to an old colleague, Luca, that you were also familiar with considering Noma was a thing that you didn’t bother speaking much on…but it was your turn to give carmy the last serving.

He hesitated since he had his own bowl, which he finished way before you did but it was clear you wanted him to have the last bite so he also took it while saying something with his eyes.

Breaking the stare, the both of you felt your phone buzz with a text. Carmy didn’t jump to answer it right away…he was the worst texter according to Nat and Sydney but you can answer for the both of you as it was a group text from Sydney who was long gone with her dad.

Siddy + (773) XXX-XXXX: Carmy, invite aspen to breakfast in the morning?? See you guys then! 👍🏾😉

“You guys do breakfast at the bear now?” You say lifting your eyes from your screen.

You heard Sydney made a mean omelette but you haven’t been back since earlier this year and you weren’t in the mood for that that night.

Carmy frowns and closes his eyes with a shake of his head, “uh yeah it’s a new thing that Syd came up with but we agreed to do that with everyone once a month…later this month. Why?”

“She wants me to have breakfast with you guys…knowing I’m not a morning person.”

“It’s not happening tomorrow anyway, so what is she talking about?” Carmy digs into his jacket, where he carelessly shoved his phone into after sending the photo off to Luca.

Another text rings out: at carmy’s place. just us three???

Not Sydney making plans and then placing it all at Carmy’s apartment.

He’s taking a breath, almost as a silent reminder for him to do so before his thumbs move over his screen: i don’t even eat breakfast, Syd.

Syd: well youre gonna.

~ Syd has notifications silenced 🌙 ~

“Well, looks like your work wife told your ass.” You laugh, which you translated into her message but didn’t comment further than that.

Carmy harshly exhales through his nostrils in disbelief, “my work wife huh?”

He didn’t hate how that sounded but he also never thought about marriage or relationships in awhile.

“Yeah…the proof is in the pudding, no matter what anyone says.”

Carmy pinched at his bottom lip as he attempts to dryly joke, “I thought it was rice? and what about outside work…”

“That’s something you have to figure out yourself.” You shrug, getting ready to pack up your notes and cameras.

You turn your attention to the table, which knows just when to lift as you tap on the screen to signal that you’re ready to pay while holding out your company card, “are you paying cash for the tip or card?”

“Uh, cash.” Carmy answers, “…what if I’m starting to think about what come’s next?”

“With Syd?” You question, your now sage and mint scented hands flying over the screen as you select the correct paying method before tapping your company card against the screen.

Carmy starts bouncing his leg underneath the table, “with everything.”

“Well…when you’re ready you’ll make moves to make it happen won’t you?”

Carmy dips his head, “you bet.”

And here comes the intense eye contact that you can’t help but to huff out some laughter.

“What’s funny?”

“It’s just people with light eyes always do this thing where they’re just staring into your soul you know? Like damn, relax!”

Carmy’s confused as he holds his wallet open, “uh sorry for having eyes?”

“Shut up, glacier eyes.” You tell while Carmy just snorts at you.

The both of you don’t waste any time rushing back to his car as the clock is approaching 10pm. The wind’s definitely picked up and the temperature dropped, making it easier not to get caught up in the night time city lights which you often liked to do. Back in the van, carmy doesn’t wait to crank up the heat and you don’t bother to mess with the radio this time.

“So?” Carmy asks as he waits for the car to warm up some.

You keep your attention outside the window shield, “yes?”

“What’s the rating?”

“What makes you think I’m going to tell you that, Carmen?” You continue holding yourself.

He sniffs, “I mean—I was sitting across from you the entire night while you told me some of your thoughts.”

“So you thought you should also get the final score? I don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”

“Ah, I think you’ve got some idea.” Carmy lolls his head over to peek at you.

Laughter bubbles past your lips, “I do. I’ve absolutely had better because—what the fuck was that?”

Carmen feels a crooked smirk appear on his own face, “I don’t want to completely bash other chef’s work but fuck, I thought it was just me? You said it got a 4.3 out of 5? The ambience and service was spot on but…the flavor for most of the dishes?”

“I knew you knew something about seasoning,” you continued laughing while carmy rolled his eyes, “should spend less on the tech and interior and more on some fresh herbs.”

“Isn’t it called simmer saffron?”

That made you laugh even harder as you gripped your stomach, “You’ve got that so backwards!”

And carmy couldn’t help but to scan your features as you laughed and he felt his chest getting somewhat lighter? Just listening to the sound of you and being beside you. What kind of feeling was this? He’s felt it before looking at someone else but that feeling was more of a tug with that light while this one slowly poured in from the black.

“Don’t be too hard on ‘em though? There’s always room for improvement.”

“Sure, but we both know the bear is better and you guys don’t have a waist list months in advance.”

“We also don’t have any celebrities showing up either.”

“Yet.”

Carmy taps his fingers against the steering wheel, appreciating that, “right, yet…I’m sorry about March. I was too in my head about so much shit and you’re right, I took it out on everyone and I’m still trying to make up for it.”

“Effort doesn’t ever go unnoticed if people look and feel it hard enough.”

Carmy chews on his lips at that, “if you believe that…then why do you feel what I said about dating—uh us—about us dating is out of the blue?”

“I said that?”

“Your eyes did. It’s the most expressive thing about you which is funny to me when you talk so much shit about mine when you hide the rest of it away on your face. It’s fucking confusing but I think I gathered that from our dinner tonight.”

Carmy was just as detail oriented as you. It was in his language with food and maybe even in his tattoos that you tried to understand starting with his fingers first. The way he spoke about what he would do with the dishes that were lackluster, except for the dessert—that was pretty good. Carmy wasn’t much of a talker because he wasn’t sure how to express himself, always been that way since you knew of him at Noma…but he told just enough in his dishes and you told just enough between the lines you wrote.

Someone just had to look hard enough.

“…I ever tell you I was engaged? Of course I didn’t, we’re still…I don’t know what the hell we’re doing here Carmen but I’m starting to sense that we could be special if we both want this badly.”

“What do you want?”

“Does anyone ever really know?” You laughed, “ I guess someone to look past the circumstanial and I had that once but then he died. So that was the end of that.”

“You swore off love.”

“Love is many things but maybe I closed off the long lasting part.”

Carmy could relate to that as least with family. He never had much interest in romance even growing up because he lacked that confidence in anything being permanent besides the chaos he’s used to, then he found some of it once he proved what he fucking set out to do yet cooking was all Carmen really opened himself up to. While Luca and others encouraged him to have a night out in the town, he always left early or if there was one person that caught his interest, they get to talking and both get bored of each other since Carmy hardly made the move to take them back to his. Before Noma?

Maybe.

Back in Paris there was one that could have been permanent but Carmy had to break her heart since Noma was calling. Culinary was his true love and he honestly couldn’t tell you what she even looked like now if you asked him. Things that should have mattered tended to get buried in the blue of his mind unfortunately.

He didn’t have the time to be attached and you didn’t want to have your heart ripped out again.

“How’d—

“He was a firefighter.” Was all you said and just those words alone told carmy it was anything but peaceful.

It took a lot for carmy to scream at himself how Michael went out and he imagined it might have been the same for you. So he wouldn’t dare ask for further morbid details because what did that help?

So maybe you weren’t wrong about the both of you not being ready to take that step on going on dates but change was everlasting.

“Uh—what about breakfast then after that not so great meal?” Carmy asks as he pulls off from the curb now.

You think about it. Really think about it that carmy starts to assume you may have dozed off.

“Depends on the time honestly? And who am I to turn down a free meal?” You beamed at Carmy who lifts his shoulders with a chuckle.

Carmy explains, “Syd and I usually start our days early, sometimes even earlier for me if I don’t get enough hours in. but thanks to the reno those on the early shift can get prep ready and I heard…you’re not a morning person?”

You’re just as sarcastic but there’s no lies, “I don’t even know my name or birthdate when I first wake up…what do you think?”

Carmy snickered at that, “okay? So how does 10am sound?”

“That’s pushing it but…I think I can be there so that’ll give me the rest of the day to work from home.”

Carmy nods, “can’t wait to read it. Shake on it?”

“On what? My review or showing up?”

“Both.”

“I’m not sending you a sneak peek, maybe syd or even nat but not you.”

“Ouch.” Carmy mocks, still waiting for your hand to touch his.

And when you do there’s a spark, that makes you yank your hand back and you feel like you’re in one of those cheesy teen movies.

You’re aware carmy’s felt that too but he just clears his throat and placed his hand back on the steering wheel. Leaving you to lightly massage the palm of your hand, now glancing at the profile of carmy’s face.

Life takes time to live but once you start to just let it be, the green starts to stand out more and can be equally as joyous…once you get through the rain and mud that is.

And once the ice blue sets back on you, the both of you can’t exactly see the future but there’s always warmth waiting for the cold to give them a try.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

February fluff anthology series continues here.

197 notes · View notes

olsenmyolsen · 2 months

Text

Giving My Heart To You

Happy Valentine's Day!

master list

dark master list

MCU (Female Sorceress Reader X The Scarlet Witch)

Summary: It's Valentine's Day, and what better way to spend than with someone trying to kill you.

Word Count: 2.7K

Content: Scarlet Milf, Darkhold, Death, but it works out(?)

It's February 14th, 2024.

You have been watching the witch formally known as Wanda Maximoff for the last few months.

You first took notice of her at the same time an old acquaintance of yours did. But she beat you to the punch, and then the hex and WestView happened.

Now you see who she is becoming or, better yet, what she is now.

The Avenger is gone.

The Scarlet Witch remains.

As you hold a leather-bound book close to your chest, you pray to your goddess that this works. That you can save the witch from herself. You know what she plans to do, and you feel for her. You don't blame her. She's been through enough, but you just know that the outcome of her future could happen differently.

So, as your bare feet step into the symbol you've made on the ground surrounded by candles and shrines from your past, are you ready to do what you NEED to do.

You're going to give your heart to the scarlet witch.

And if this spell works, the darkness in her will leave so she can find her children without killing a child.

You've done it once before, three hundred years ago for you in a different dimension. The spell worked, but the light power within sent you tumbling through the cosmos until you landed here.

Anyways, three hundred years later, you're prepared to do it again.

So, as your green dress brushes against the dirt on the floor do, you levitate the book away from your chest and start lifting your arms as you whisper the spell.

Your pink lips touch as your heart begins to glow. You lift your right arm and flick three fingers back before grabbing onto the air and pulling. You lift your head towards the sky as you feel the glow surrounding your body. It lifts you.

It's working.

But you're not alone, and you sense it too late.

A force hits you that sends your body to the floor as your book goes flying and your candles blow out. The white glow stops as she speaks up.

"Who are you?"

Your eyes go wide when you hear her voice. The accent is something you've always fallen for.

You close your eyes and bring yourself up to your knees.

"I asked you a question." The Scarlet Witch sneers as she takes a step closer to you. Now, standing behind your body.

You open your eyes and turn your head to face her.

The first thing you notice are her black fingertips. As your eyes move upward, you see how her suit has been cracked and turned black.

Finally, you lift your white eyes to her.

Your mouth falls open as you see her face—high cheekbones. Green eyes. Pillowy red lips with a face softer than wool.

She looks just like your Wanda.

"Your eyes are white." The Witch says to you as she begins walking around you. Her boots kicking away the symbol on the ground. You can't help but watch with your hands on your knees.

"Are you ever going to speak?" She says when she looks at you. Stopping next to your book. "My name is Y/N Y/L/N." The Witch hums as she looks you up and down. Her eyes roaming over the part of your dress that leaves more to be desired.

"Why am I in your book?" A red glow surrounds your book and lifts it to the woman across from you. "You wouldn't believe me." You shake your head. You know how this song and dance plays. "The Darkhold won't let you listen."

The Scarlet Witch tilts her head. "How do you know about the Darkhold?" Without giving you a second to answer, you find yourself being lifted and thrown several feet away—your body landing and tumbling. Thankfully, your magic cushioned the blow as you put your legs out and dug them into the dirt until you turned and stood up, surprising the Witch.

She watched your green dress turn into a suit similar to the one she wore.

Before the Darkhold showed her the truth.

You lifted your hands up as you prepared to defend yourself.

"You want to kill me and take it, don't you?" The Witch strutted towards you. "No." You shook your head as your eyes lifted to her face. "I want to help." A red ball of magic formed in the hands of the Witch. "I have all of the help I need." She threw the red ball towards you and another.

White shields extended themselves from your outstretched hands as you blocked her attacks. However, this didn't stop her as she started shooting lines of magic towards you. You effortlessly duck and dodge, but you know she won't stop.

You needed to get her to see what you knew to be true.

So, as you made counter moves and an effort not to fight back, you worked your way closer and closer to her. Until you found yourself close enough, and that's when the glow of your powers surrounded your body, and in a flash, you disappeared.

With the Witches arms raised, she looked around. You were gone, but she could sense you. The Darkhold was whispering to her that you were still present.

And just like what happened to you, Wanda sensed you when it was too late.

Your right arm wrapped itself around the waist of The Witch, making both of your mouths fall open at the touch, but you remained focused as you lifted her left hand with your powers to the side of your head.

She needed to see your memories.

At first, it was you and Wanda running away from chores and the labor forced upon you by others in your village.

Young adults trying to figure out who you were.

Slowly, it morphed into stolen kisses and nights of passion as Wanda's mouth worked it way across your body.

Followed by dates with a gold ring and the trials and burning of other witches... it became the final straw. The two of you knew you had to run away.

So you did.

But somewhere along the path, when you didn't realize it, your mind had succumbed to Wanda and her whisperings.

Your fiancée became more possessive. Not only of you but of the children Wanda grew inside of her.

Like magic, they were brought into your world. You and Wanda raised your boys with love and care for several years.

But what you didn't know wouldn't hurt you, right?

You thought the same thing about Wanda. You were certain the book was with her.

You needed to save Billy and Tommy... but...

The night it happened, you were on your knees. Bound by red magic as Wanda's black fingertips ran through your hair. Scratching your head.

"You're so good to me." She spoke in a hushed Sokovain tone. "So why do you disobey me?" Wanda moved her hands downward and pulled. Making you cry out as she yanked you to the floor.

She scoffed.

You looked up to her as she conjured the Darkhold into the air. "You're going to leave me. Betray me." She spoke as if she knew what she was talking about.

You shook your head. "I'm trying to save them. They need their mom." You cried out as a red line of magic wrapped around your throat.

Wanda smiled with a roll of her eyes. "Oh, please. We both know I could squeeze a lot harder, and you'll be fine." Wanda's attention left you as she grabbed your book. "The Darkhold was right. I am in here." She ripped the pages of The Scarlet Witch out.

They softly landed next to you.

Tears in your eyes as you read the spell one last time.

"Wanda, please..." Your voice was weak. She closed your book and let it disappear. "Please?" She tightened her jaw when your eyes looked at her. "You want to take MY children away from me?!"

That's when you knew she was officially gone.

Ours became Mine.

Plus, she didn't even remember...

You swallowed the hurt in your throat and let your heart quietly break before mustering up the courage to speak.

"Wanda..." That was the last time you said her name. "Billy and Tommy..." Your lips wobbled as you gently cried. "They're already gone..."

The Scarlet Witch froze. You took the opportunity to catch your breath and lift your hand to touch the red magic around your arm. "You're not supposed to know that..." She spoke before using her magic to pull you to her feet. Bringing you inches away from her face. "Their death isn't your fault." The Witch gritted her teeth, but for a split second, you saw her eyes soften as your words reached her.

The red around your wrist turned white and allowed your arms to break free of the hold she had on you. The Witch, in shock, dropped you and watched as you landed on your feet across the room.

Ready for combat.

"You're not going to stop me! I am their mother, and I am the only one who can save them! I need them."

The Darkhold had control. You knew that. But seeing your wife scream at you as tears ran down her face would always hurt.

But she was going to go take someone else's Billy and Tommy. She was going to kill you if she had to.

So you knew what needed to be done.

"I love you, and I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to do this." You looked into her green eyes and let out a white glow as The Scarlet Witch threw her hex bolts at you.

But in the end, it worked.

When the moment struck, you let your power course its way through your heart until it became too much, and it latched itself onto the next living thing.

Wanda Maximoff.

Within an instant, Wanda and her old memories came back. Her copy of the Darkhold destroyed.

But you were gone.

A copy of your leather-bound book fell in front of your wife. It opened to a chapter on multiversal travel. A study you had been working on since becoming aware of the Darkhold's influence.

Written in black ink at the top of the page was your writings: "Find our boys. The ones who need a mother. The ones who need you, Wanda. And don't worry about me. Just don't ever forget. I love you."

The Scarlet Witch fell to the ground in front of you as you panted from the memory.

You watched her wrap her hands into fists as she let out a muffled cry. "You're showing me lies!" She screamed out in denial as you caught your breath and stumbled. The memory taking it out of you.

It was your first time reliving it since it happened.

"I'm not lying, and you know it." The Witch shook her head and turned around, falling onto the side of her body—tears in her eyes. "You know about the other versions of you. You know about this one. I'm not lying to you. So don't lie to yourself." You spoke with a bite to your words as you could never forget YOUR Wanda. You closed your eyes and let out a sigh. "I'm trying to help you. Please let me."

You opened your eyes to see The Witch right herself onto her knees. For the first time, she looked defeated. Ashamed. Her head hung low. She was vulnerable.

Carefully, you took steps towards her and lifted your right hand to her face. She flinched, and it pained you to see. "Wanda..." The name quietly left your lips.

She looked up.

"I can't fight the Darkhold much longer." You nodded. "You can find them without killing America Chavez. Take my book when I'm gone." Wanda looked around and nodded as she sniffled.

You wiped a tear from her cheek and pulled your hand back as you once again let your heart glow white. The spell leaving your lips as your body lifts itself upward.

Wanda watches in awe of you, but at the moment, she blinks, and her burnt copy of the Darkhold falls in front of her as white sparkles flow through the air.

Once again, you gave your heart to Wanda Maximoff.

Once again, you were sent tumbling through the cosmos. Between universes and reaches unknown. You flew until you came crashing down within a shield of your magic on an old barn.

A dozen sheep looked at you before scattering away as you stood up. You turned back and saw the pile of hay and grass you landed on. "Sorry." You spoke to the sheep as you gingerly moved past them through the open barn doors.

You looked around and found yourself in an apple orchard.

To your left, there was a two-story house not far. You cracked your neck and began walking towards it.

As you got closer, only then did you see how worn out your green dress was. How destroyed it had gotten when your armor took hits- "Stop right there!"

That voice. You knew that voice.

"Lift your head!" The voice commanded, and only then did you notice the red wisps surrounding you.

Your breath hitched as you complied.

You did as you were told. You slowly lifted your head to find not one but three people looking at you.

Three Maximoffs. Wanda, Billy, and Tommy.

"Y/N..." Wanda lowered her arm, and the magic around you disappeared. Her mouth dropped before she recovered. But her lips shook as her eyes watered.

You tilted your head as the emotional toll started taking you over. "Wanda... My Wanda..." You stammered and felt yourself about to become a blubbering mess.

Was it her?

"Mom, don't!" The twins tried to hold their mother back as she took a step towards you. "It's alright." She whispered to them as she started walking down the porch steps.

You took a step back as you started to cry. Afraid of the false hope this could. It had been so long. "Is it you?" You asked, making Wanda chuckle. "Is it you?" She asked back.

You bite back a laugh as you choked on a cry. "I asked you first." You said. Wanda nodded.

From thin air, your leather-bound book appeared, and the pages turned to your writings at the top of the page.

You put a hand over your eyes as you fell to the ground and began to cry.

You found your way back.

In an instance, Wanda was wrapping you up in a hug as she cried as well. Wanda, overwhelmed, reached down and pulled your chin upwards to crash her lips onto yours.

You kissed her back and melted into the arms of your wife.

"How long has it been?" You asked through sobs. "Five years," Wanda said as her lips found the side of your face again. "For me, it's been three hundred." Wanda frowned and felt her heart shattered.

She couldn't believe it.

The twins carefully took steps off the porch and to the spot where their mom held a woman in a green dress. "Mom..." Billy spoke up, making the two of you turn your heads. "They look the same." You whispered. "I found them a year ago," Wanda whispered back.

"Who is this?" Tommy looked worried, and rightfully so.

Wanda smiled at you before looking to your sons. "Boys, you remember how I came into your lives?" The twins nodded at the memory of your Wanda being there for them when their Wanda died of cancer. "You found us when we needed you," Billy spoke up.

You brushed away a tear as you watched Wanda fill her role as Mom once again.

"Well, this is my wife Y/N Y/L/N. She, like me, was a mother to our boys, and she saved me when all was dark." The twins seem to be following along. "How come she wasn't with you then?" Tommy asked.

You placed a hand on Wanda's arm and scooted away from her. Closer to the boys. "Because..." You started. "My magic sent me away, and I'll explain when you're older..." Tommy rolled his eyes while Billy looked excited. "It took me a while to get back. But I knew I would come back. Do you know why?" You sniffled at the sight of your sons.

Tommy shook his head while Billy asked: "Why?"

You looked back to Wanda before looking at the twins again. "Because, like your mother, the both of you have my heart. And I will always find my way back to the ones I love."

dividers by @/benkeibear & @/firefly-graphics

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ladyyatexel · 3 months

Text

Hey, what's up, hello, I'm Xel, I truly have Donald Duck levels of bad luck and yet I do not have the rage button that makes things work out if I throw a tantrum, which feels like yet another failure of media, what is the deal with this.

The deal is:

Temp job had to let me go instead of make me permanent because the economy scared the 5 people over 65 in that department out of feeling safe enough to retire

None of my applications are getting interviews and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Donald Duck tantrum did not assist me in this realm.

Holy shit seasonal depression I can't get out of bed like.... A Lot.

I have a convention to go to in February where I am selling art in the art show and where I will see many of my friends the only time per year.

I'm scared of everything haha wow 😬

I'm am an artist who just feels too upset and worried to art

I'm having trouble getting everything together and maybe will feel better with some level of stability? I need to do a lot of paperwork. It is proving hard. I have the Tumblr popular suspicions about my level of neurodivergance. (Fun story: I told members of my my family that I have thought in the last two years especially that I might have ADHD or Autism or something, and my cousin said, "Oh, honey *just the last two years?*" Obliterated.)

My abusive dad recently joined a cult and my grandmother thinks he'll try to contact me after 15 years and I'm fucking scared of him and that is Affecting Me in A Way boy howdy.

I do not have the money to pay rent even a little bit! I'm trying to get January and February taken care of maybe? So I can try to exist for this period of time and maybe not have a breakdown or get evicted or something?

Some real not awesome medical junk happening also because why not.

SO, I'm doing Tumblr's favorite thing and being a starving queer artist with brain worms who needs help. If you are interested in helping me out and making a donation to the "Why don't my Donald Duck tantrums solve my problems" fund, I would be Really Grateful.

I am on Ko-Fi, which is really just a funnel to PayPal, over here.

$2500 would keep me on solid ground. I'll try to keep a tally here in a read more along with a expenses tally if that would help you feel better about me! I know I've had to ask frequently in the last few months, so I understand thinking I'm full of it.

I have a commission to finish currently and a few buttons and things that need to be mailed. You could also ask for button and commission, but I am doing prep work for my part of the art show in mid February, so I'm not available until after then for that!

My grandfather used to do a Donald Duck impression that was really good and it convinced me that either he WAS Donald Duck or that old people all knew how to do this because they all talked like this in the era Donald Duck was from.

Here is Ko-Fi again. If there's something you'd like to see me post or unearth in atonement, let me know. If you'd like other places to aim your dead green American presidents, I can give you that too.

Thanks for reading and/or reblogging! Tell me how Donald Duck's freakouts impacted you. Take care of yourselves!

Rent is $710/month, so 1420 is January and February.

65 for the internet, 130

65 for car insurance, 130

65 for electric unless I can get the assistance plan up again, same 130

250 to survive at the con maybe?

Also just like food until i can get the foodstamps stuff sorted??

Gas???

Anyway, that's an idea of what and why, if that is helpful.

Jan 8:

We are at $460!

Thanks!

#mutual aid #help #donations #charity #i feel real ashamed to have to do this! :D

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dawnoftime22 · 1 month

Text

"...and it just did."

| W.M ( -> N.R)

Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 5

Chapter Warnings: A very emotionally packed chapter, relationship problems, cheating, arguing, anxiety, overthinking, andd...just be prepared.

Summary: The truth unfolds itself easily on a special day.

Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.

Word Count: 8.7k (...oops)

Category: Angst.

A/N: this chapter has been eeeeverywhere with me. I wrote it in the car, at work, in my bedroom, and even at a hotel room. but, I hope you all enjoy<3 it's a whole lot, so it was quite difficult to finish, but february's over and I have more free time again!

also theres a playlist for this series out now :] in case you need something to listen to while reading. be careful while scrolling the songs to avoid just bits of teensy spoilers<3

Series Playlist

| Started on 10/01/2024, 12:16 PM |

| Finished on 05/03/2024, 3:45 PM |

Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist

<- Chapter 4 Chapter 6 ->

"What is there to say?"

|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|

You drag your feet across the wooden floorboards, making your way towards the kitchen. Here it is again, the same routine. But yet this time, you see a sticky note left on the marble counter, illuminated by a dim overhead lighting.

You furrow your eyebrows, but go over to read it anyway, the bright color a big difference to the white counter. 'might not be home until tomorrow,' was written on the piece of paper. Your heart didn't drop as much anymore. Your shoulders only droop a little, as if just a teensy bit more weight had been added.

A quiet breath leaves your mouth. Your hand picks up the sticky note and scraps it up within your palms, throwing it off to a nearby trashcan in the kitchen. Who else needed to read it anyway? It was only for you. Only for you.

You shook your head of the remaining thoughts you had of her, but she couldn't quite leave your mind at least once. Always there. Always lingering. As if you had been cursed. But in honest truth, the only curse you had upon you was the spell of love.

Today was a special day. Key word on the was. Some type of hope swirling in your heart maybe had you looking forward to this day, but all of it had just gone down along with the piece of paper in the trash. Your eyes also flicker to it once more, seeing the many other colored paper sitting scrunched up with the one from just now. At least she had the decency to still leave notes.

But, today was, of course...your birthday. And out of all the people, your favorite person was certainly not present. Maybe she had forgotten, you thought. Maybe she just didn't care enough this year...no, how could she?

You snap yourself out, having stared off at the sunlight shining in through the windows. You go to the fridge to see what was still in there. A bitten sandwich from last night, and some leftover chickens, but your lip forms a line and you close it, your hand dropping off to your pocket to retrieve your phone.

It was currently 9:45 AM, the digits frozen still on the same numbers until the full sixty seconds passes by. Your mind was in a haze, but your stomach was empty and it urged you to find some food. Were you just going to go out by yourself? Your body seemed to stop you from even going to the living room. Take-out was an option, but instead you simply laid your phone down on the counter, it making a small noise, the textures clashing.

You put your head in your hands, covering up your face and sliding your fingers across your skin, your palm cupping your own cheeks as a way to get a grip of yourself.

Your phone came up with a notification of your calendar, getting out with a reminder of your birthday. What great timing. You clear it off your screen and unlock your phone, roaming the apps.

Just as you were about to push yourself off the counter and grab the last of the food in the fridge, your screen changes without you touching anything. The contact name came up with...Carol?

Your face relaxes a bit and your thumb hesitantly goes to pick it up rather than tap on the red button, the ringing going away. The phone goes along with your hand when you put it against your ear.

"Hey Carol." You say casually, trying your best not to sound too questionable, as it wasn't usual that she'd call you. You hear some distinct voices whispering in the background of her side, one sounding like a young kid.

"Hey, just wanted to call and um...check in on you?" Her voice ended up sounding questionable instead, and your face goes into a confused reaction, although a smile growing on your lips. You let out a small chuckle, your eyes roaming the space of the room as you thought of your words.

"'Check in on me?' Come on, you rarely do that." Your hand goes to grab a nearby notebook that's been left on the counter, saved for recipes. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to say happy birthday to you. Maria reminded me and she and Monica got me to...call you." You assume she had a small pause in her sentence because she was looking over at the other two people in the room with her, which was who you had heard earlier.

"That's nice of her. And thank you." The pages of the book was soft against your hands, your fingers tracing and fiddling with some as you smiled softly at the thought of Maria scolding Carol for having forgotten.

"Well that, or, I would probably not have any pancakes for myself right about now." She says, her mouth nearly sounding like it was full. You'd guessed it was.

"Even though you were threatened to wish me, thank you." You add on, laughing gently as you did. There was a page you landed on in the notebook with a cookie recipe. One, specifically where you and Wanda had made together, having shared a wonderful memory that day.

You could feel your heart beat within your chest, the pace going quicker as your eyes looked over the words written on the paper that was accompanied with smiley faces and hearts here and there.

The smile on your face had definitely faltered. You take in a deep breath, letting it out once you let yourself close the book. Carol's voice snaps you back to reality, having remembered you were talking with her.

"I'm kidding, I would've called you up either way. Really though, how are you?" Your teeth sank down on your bottom lip, probably enough to puncture the skin or leave a small mark, but you let it go once you talked.

"I'm...fine. Other than sitting in my house alone not knowing what to do than sulk in bed or contemplating my life choices." With that answer, the blonde definitely knew something wasn't entirely right. She stays quiet for a while, perhaps thinking.

"Do you wanna go out and hang at the bar? We can do some karaoke if you want that as a birthday present." She offers, and the attempt makes you smile weakly. She never really knew what to do for your birthday, not being the type to do birthdays more than just a simple wish to them. But for you, she'd offer to hang out, which is what you love to do most of the time.

"Sorry, but I don't really feel like partying or anything right about now. Well, tempting, but, I just wanna relax." You say quietly, sliding the recipe book back to its original place.

"Okay, then..." Carol trails off as her mind tries to come up with some more ideas. You were about to think she was going to just hang up sooner or later, but then you hear her voice continue with a more interesting take.

"There's the mall." You raise your eyebrows. She couldn't see you with you being over the phone, but she just knew you were probably surprised. And you were.

"And what would we do there?" You ask, your mind unable to conjure up the slightest of an imagination of going to the mall with her in a casual situation.

"Well, we could grab some ice cream, buy some things, go to the arcade, go...I don't know." She suggests, just nearly giving up. She wasn't good at this type of stuff really, she's simply basing it off of the times she and Monica hangs out together. You could at least picture the straight line her mouth forms when she finished her sentence, and you had to resist a laugh.

"Ice cream does sound really good." Your mind opened a little with the simple thought of ice cream. Even though the comfort of your bed and the couch seemed nicer, it's not a lot of times she ends up inviting you to hang out like this anyway.

"The mall it is." The blonde says, and you can hear some clatter over the phone. She had finished her pancakes, you supposed.

"Am I driving or...?" You trail off, fiddling around with your fingers and sliding them against the marble counter, the coldness a difference to the sunlight coming from the window.

"I'll pick you up." You then hear the sound of keys, and you couldn't back out anymore. She was driving to your house to grab you, and it'd be impolite to cancel.

"Okay." You say under a breath, feeling heavier with every second that goes by. The guilt and anxiety was eating you up, but the date on the calendar just next to the recipe book had your mind getting out of the thoughts.

"I'll be there in 10. Please don't be glued to your bed when I arrive," She said, to which you let out a quiet chuckle. You couldn't really tell if it was in a stern way or a soft way, but it definitely pushed you a little more to get up and change your clothes.

"I won't. See you here." You say gently and the end tone sounds out, making you pull your phone away from your ear.

With that decided, you push yourself off the counter, slowly going off to the bedroom. The closet opens easily, revealing the same clothes you see every day. You shuffle through some of the hanged shirts, looking at what to wear.

Soon enough, you pull one out. It easily slides off, brushing against the many other shirts within the closet. Your eyes don't linger on the other ones that weren't yours, and you close the door after grabbing everything else.

Later on, you get finished up with changing your clothes, and now you were only waiting for Carol to arrive. There was something that prickled within your heart, like a roses stem with thorns, a worry that maybe she changed her mind and she actually didn't want to hang out with you. Maybe she was only doing it out of sympathy? But that can't be true. What about all the times she's driven you back home when you got a little too many drinks?

...You take a deep breath and turn away from the wall you were staring off into like it was the abyss. Instead your hands checked that you had everything on you, like your phone, keys, and your watch.

Then, the sound of a car pulling up at the front of the house made you look up, your eyes carefully watching the windows. You see a Nissan outside, and it was obvious it was Carol arriving.

Quickly, you got off the couch while your phone made sound, definitely a text message from her that she's arrived. You open the front door, going outside. Her blonde hair could be seen clearly through the car windows, confirming the person in your head.

You make your way to the car, opening the front passenger door. "Hey," you say gently, going in and and closing the door along with you.

"Hey." your greetings were simple, a usual thing to happen. Carol glanced at you while you buckled in, giving you a small smile before starting to slowly position the car back to the roads.

The car had some old soft rock playing, filling up the quietness. It also had you already moving just a little to the beats, staring out the window as she drove you both to the mall. She's always had good playlists. Sometimes you'd even have an urge to ask her to give you some of her cds.

"So, what are you aiming to steal my money for today?" She jokes after a song, her eyes focused on the roads. You let out a small chuckle, looking over to her.

"I'm not letting you spend your money on me for something that isn't a drink." You shake your head, fiddling around with your fingers in your lap. The blonde notices it when her eyes flicker over to you for a second before returning to the roads.

"It's your birthday, Y/N. You have to have a little fun. Let loose," she says, and you raise an eyebrow, turning your head to her. The last two words were new, at least when it comes out of her mouth.

"Maria's words, not mine." she quickly stated, making a smile grow on your face. You stop fiddling with your fingers and instead intertwine them with each other, your gaze going back to the window.

"Come on, any ideas?" The car stops at a red light, and she looks over to you. You stayed quiet in thought, although nothing much came up. She sees only the side of your head until you made your decision.

"We'll do yours," you say, having unable to think of anything. Your mind was clouded over. Honestly, a part of your body just wanted to lie in bed hopelessly the whole day, but something else pulled you.

"Then it's settled," she nods, the steering wheel turning with her hand as she made a right. You think over her words on the phone call earlier, 'Ice cream, buy some things, arcade', and you start to get just a bit more excited.

"Ice cream first?" You ask, looking to her with hope. She furrows her eyebrows and makes a face to you, and your lip forms a tight line, like a child asking for something and getting scared of the answer.

"Of course ice cream goes first." The car goes forwards once more, the light having turned green. You cheer quietly, and she gently shakes her head at your antics. At least she got you to release the emotional tension you had in your body. Even if just a little.

The rest of the car ride consisted of singing and dancing, the conversations being light. The weight on your shoulders got lifted up just a little bit more. When you were about to arrive and she was going to park, 'Please Mr. Postman' started playing and your face brightened at the intro.

She raised her eyebrows at your quick happiness at the simple song, but smiled and laughed at how fast you got into singing it. Really, it's always been a main song for whenever you hanged out, but it's been so long since she saw you sing it, she got surprised. Soon enough though, she sang with you, the two of you moving in your seats to the words.

When the song ends, she turns off the engine and both of you get out the car. The parking lot wasn't all that filled up, so it was a chance there weren't many people in the mall.

She puts on her cap and walks to the entrance with you behind her, the noise of crows and other birds made sound, echoing from somewhere afar as you made your way to the sliding doors.

The cold air of the mall quickly greeted you like a slap of reality in the face, like waking yourself up with a cold shower after laying in bed for too, too long. A way to make you feel more alive.

The ice cream shop wasn't far, and with how little amount of people were here, the two of you got to go to the counter right when you arrive to order your preferred flavour.

Your eyes watch the ice cream get put on the cone, and you do a little dance when your hand got ahold of it, while Carol was giving her money to the cashier of the total cost.

The cashier smiles at the two of you and says their 'thank you', making you smile back before turning around, Carol easily catching up with you from your slow walking.

The two of you walk and enjoy your ice cream, the coldness definitely making you more free feeling. There were clothing stores, shoe stores, little snack shops, and every other thing you could ever imagine. You passed by each one though, but you did point out some cool looking things here and there to Carol.

Soon enough, you come upon a pet shop and your eyes widen, your lips matching with a smile. You walk towards it, wanting to look at all the animals. Carol had to walk faster so she didn't lose you.

There were parrots, cats, dogs, hamsters, fishes, bunnies, and even some lizards. Your mouth was agape as you stared at some of them, but you walk over to the cats.

"Aw, look!" You point at an orange cat, who's sitting patiently with it's tail smoothly flicking back and forth as it watched people pass by.

Carol was looking at the dogs until you called, making her go over to you to see what you were melted at. As if you hadn't already from the other little animals.

"This one is so cute." You lean forward and capture the attention of the cat, making it stand up and walk closer to you.

Carol's head tilted slightly and her eyes squinted as she inspected the info of the cat. The name, the breed, the date and place of birth... "...Goose. Huh."

"I want to take it home." You blurt out as you let the cat follow your hand around, and its head moves here and there instead of its body. It was a playful cat, a paw going up here and there to reach out to you.

"You should get it if you love it that much." Carol says, with her usual deadpan voice that you honestly find amusing. Although, for this, your face turns deadpanned instead and you stare at her, making her raise your eyebrows at you. It was nearly a staredown.

"Danvers, I cannot take care of a cat...let alone myself." You gesture to the cat, and it looked at you questionably. Your shoulders slump a little at the last words of your sentence, and Carol frowns a little.

"I'm sure it'll be able to help you cope or something." Really, she was thinking in her head of surprising it to you as a birthday present for later tonight when she sends you home.

"Why don't you get it? I think Monica would go crazy." You glance back at her, and she purses her lips, staring at the cat. It was the most vibrant color of all the other cats.

"And Maria would go crazier." She said, turning to you for a second but then going back to the entrance of the shop instead, perhaps making her escape from you flipping the table to her.

"You can convince her." You say, the volume of your voice going up a little considering she's farther away. You take a quick glance back at the cat, hesitating to leave, but going away to catch up to the blonde.

"No, now, we are going to the arcade." You laugh when you hear her stern voice, although something in you knew she had a thought about getting it.

You looked around as you walked, seeing the arcade not far away now, the place lit up by machines and screens. But something caught your eye and made you look twice.

Were you dreaming? Well...having a nightmare? You felt like so. Your body definitely didn't react in a good way. Honestly, your heart felt like you were about to have a heart attack with how fast it was beating.

Carol's hat made shade for her face from the sun coming through the mall's glass roof as she walked. She stops along with you when she noticed, confusion filling her face at the sudden stop.

When she follows your eyes to where you were looking though, immediately her eyes widen and her face was in complete shock just as yours were.

A brunette, green eyes...green jacket...

It couldn't have been.

You look closer on the face, and it was. And her hand was not swinging by itself as she walked.

It wasn't with your hand either, because you were plenty of feet away from her.

It was with someone else. Something in the back of your mind felt like they were familiar, although you couldn't even dare focus on that.

Your whole day-- well, your whole world fell apart right then and there. Just like that.

You can feel your heart beating up to your ears, and it felt like time stopped. And not in the good way. Oh, you wish. You wish it was the time you saw her green eyes staring back at you and the whole world only felt like it held the two of you. But not anymore.

Maybe it was the numbing adrenaline rush of the shock coming through, but you take in a deep breath, ripping your gaze away. You couldn't bare to look at the sight anymore.

You clench your jaw, your hand gripping itself in a fist. Your eyes pooled with tears and Carol looked at you, her own misery at finding out the truth obvious on her face, although she was mostly worried about you.

"You know what? Maybe we can...do this another day." You say, trying your best to not let your voice shake entirely, but it did falter.

"You don't wanna--" She was about to suggest trying to distract yourself with the arcade, but at the same time, nothing could make you feel better after seeing such a thing.

"Just take me home." Your mouth moved quickly and you spoke quietly, your eyes flicking back to the spot where she was walking, but she was out of sights already.

You turn around and walk fast, not wanting to linger anymore. Carol walks with you. There was nothing said as you made your way out and to the car. The lovely sounds of the birds chirping now fell on deaf ears as your legs kept you moving.

The car door opens easily with the pull of your hand, and you get in, but you were careful to not slam the door. Carol gets in after you, and turns on the engine.

Her eyes go over to you. You already had your seatbelt on and had settled in your seat, staring out the window. She was about to say something, but she held her tongue, not wanting to make matters worse.

And what would anyone have to say in this anyway? Your lover left you, replaced you with someone else, and broke your heart. 'It will get better'? The only path to take was to go through the pain and that was it. Until you somehow get back up again.

The music starts up once more, and it didn't make you happy as much anymore. You couldn't even focus on it if you tried. You were trying to blink away the tears and ignore the way your throat was swelling up on the inside.

Carol drives you back home safely, keeping her eyes on you here and there. The ride was quiet other than the music, but it was obvious the tension was high.

There were questions unsaid, many going around in your head, but you didn't wanna trouble her with all of them, and she probably wouldn't know what to answer them with anyway.

Soon enough, you arrive back to your house, and you gently unbuckle your seatbelt. At the corner of your eyes, your tears were starting to seep out, just a little.

Carol makes sure she says something before she regrets just being silent, "Hey," she said quietly, and you look at her, your eyes shining with unshed tears. It was the softest you've heard her voice yet.

"I'm always here, if you need me," she says. She knows it won't be much, but it needed to get out of her head. You nod, and sniffle, trying your best to not cry just yet.

You don't say anything back. If you did, you would've broken right there. Instead, you pull on the car handle and open the door, getting out.

Carol watches you as you leave, and she makes sure you get into your house safely before getting out the driveway.

You close the front door of the house, locking it, and freezing in your tracks, taking in a sharp breath before letting it out as a sigh. You nearly hoped it didn't happen, that you would only do that and just wake up from sleeping right now.

But then you let out a sob and lean back on the closed door. You hide your face in your hands, closing your eyes as you started crying, and your chest wracks with broken sobs.

How could she do such a thing? Did she not love you? Were you simply not enough? Too much? You couldn't stop yourself with the questions roaming your head, overthinking everything as you go. The kindest soul with the warmest heart, now broken into a tiny million pieces just because someone couldn't talk about their feelings. Yet you seem to always find a way to blame yourself for every situation.

Sure, maybe even if she did talk to you, your heart would still break, but would it have felt like this? Would it have felt like your lungs were going to collapse from your cries?

You sniffle, and try your best to steady your breathing, but you couldn't, so you just let it do whatever it wants. You wipe your eyes with your sleeve, but the tears keep flowing, so it barely did much.

Fatiguely, with a heavy body, you made your way to the kitchen. You wanted to go to the bedroom, but it was so far, and everything in there would only make your head spin even more. The couch was a choice, but your eyes linger on that recipe book you had looked through this morning.

Your hand twitches to grab it, but you bite your tongue and instead grip the counter, letting yourself slide down on the kitchen floor. You clutch your legs and curl up. The grip your hands held with the fabric of your jeans were enough to probably rip them.

You still had hiccups leaving your mouth, tears leaving your eyes, and you were definitely about to sob once more. The kitchen tiles blurred from your vision getting clouded with tears.

Your hands clumsily reaches in your pocket to grab your phone, and you somehow made it to your homescreen.

The phone was set down on the floor, your hands shaking as your tears rolled down to your chin and dropped down to stain your shirt.

You look up, trying to gather yourself up, but of course you couldn't. Your body needed to let the emotions out, especially after such a situation.

For a few more long minutes, you sat helplessly on the kitchen floor, your breaths going with their own minds instead of your own. You take a few deep breaths, your legs splayed out in front of you before you sniffle and take one last deep breath.

You sat up a little more properly with the little energy you have, and slide your phone just a bit closer to yourself, your fingers gliding across the screen as you opened your calls app, and hovered your finger over the contact name.

You tap on it, trying your best to recollect yourself before she picks up. Your teeth bites down on your bottom lip, every tone of the calling sound making your heart beat faster.

It ends, and her voice comes through.

"Hello?" There's the soft voice. The gentle, soothing voice that lured you into falling in love.

"Wanda." Your voice nearly faltered, but it kept a little of it's stern tone. Your hand slid down to the kitchen floor, the texture keeping your emotions steady, at least enough for a couple minutes.

"Hey, what's up? Did you see my note?" She asks. She's been lying to your face all this time and you didn't even know it. How blind were you?

"Do you know what day it is today?" You ask, ignoring her own question. You sounded so calm in your own anger you honestly nearly even scared yourself.

"No...what?" She was confused, and you could imagine the innocent act of a face she made.

"It's my birthday." You put simply.

"Oh..." that was all that sounded on the phone, and you knew the call didn't get cut off. She just didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't stay Y/N, I...forgot." She says slowly, and it was obvious she was trying to tread her tracks carefully.

"I can come back tonight, I promise." You almost didn't want her to, but you needed to talk it out. You didn't say anything else, not wanting to talk about everything else over the phone.

"Goodbye, Wanda." You whisper, your voice breaking at the end. You were sure she noticed it, but you'd want her to anyway.

You ended the call, tapping on the red button. That wasn't the end of it yet, of course, but for now, your hand only rests on the floor, your body falling limp against the cabinet.

She calls, but you don't hear it. The phone rings, on, and on.

You clench your jaw, tears filling up in your eyes once more. Your hand weakly silences your phone, and for the next couple more minutes, you lay crying, until your throat was dry and your muscles ached from sitting on the floor.

|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|

The sun had gone down by now, and the moon came out of hiding.

You were no longer on the kitchen floor, but you were on the couch, curled up like a cat. You haven't done anything but cry ever since you got home. Only right now, your tears had dried, staining your cheeks

You hear the front door unlock, and you feel it coming, the moment you've been dreading.

The brunette appears from behind the door, closing it as she went in the house. Her eyes roamed the place, and eventually, it lands on you.

She lets out a sigh of relief when she realized you were still here. You let out a heavy sigh as you sat up properly.

She heard it. Even with the distance, the quietness of the room captured it. Her heart beated harder in her chest.

"Y/N, please, I'm sorry." She pleads as she makes her way to the couch, having carelessly kicked her shoes off, leaving one tilted on its side. You haven't even said anything yet, and you almost feel sorry yourself.

"Hey,"-- You were sitting right beside the armrest, so, she leans over and gently puts her hand on your cheek. --"I love you. I'm sorry."

You gently push away her hand, turning to look at her with your jaw clenching. She can see the anger in your eyes and it had her giving you a little space.

"Do you?" You say, your head moving slightly, and she notices the way the corner of your eyes seemed a little red. You weren't even looking at her. That was only the second part of the situation.

"Yes!" She says her eyebrows furrowed. She raises her hands in exaggeration before moving one up to her hair, sliding it back as she let out a breath. "...Why is that difficult to understand?"

"Well, maybe because you didn't even say anything when I said it to you just a few days ago!" Her mouth opens, and you assumed she was about to argue that she was drunk during that time, but she lets out a scoff, and that's even worse.

"You're pissed off about that too?" She seemed mad, and you nearly regret even blurting out the sentence.

You close your eyes with your hands, just wanting this to end even though it's just started and just barely scratched surface of what you need to talk about...or argue. You hoped it was the first one.

"Of course I am, Wanda! Where have you been?" You try your best to keep calm, but your voice was laced with anger. Hers though, was higher volume than yours.

"At work!" She walks around to the front of the couch, and you slide your hand down your face. Her face looked so believable, but you knew it wasn't the truth. You saw it with your own eyes.

"Bullshit." You whispered, looking at her with tired eyes. She gets confused and sits down on the couch, her eyes focused on you. You shift your position.

"What? I'm not ly--..." Her voice was a little high of a volume, and she doesn't finish her sentence when she hears you take in a shaky breath.

"...I...saw you." You said quietly, and Wanda, having been caught up in trying to make you believe her had to go quiet in thought of what exactly you mean.

She swallows down a lump in her throat, her eyes catching yours.

"Saw me?" She asked, her voice reducing down to almost the same volume as yours.

"You...were with someone else." You were shaking and your breath was trembling. You willed everything in your body not to sob while trying to get the rest of the sentences out. Her eyes widened at your words, and that was it.

"And I know it's not another person, because I saw your face." You point your finger to her, gently pushing on her chest with it to enunciate your words. Gently. You were never the type to lash out or be rough even when you were angry.

She goes quiet. Both pairs of your eyes were welling up with tears, that much was obvious. Any other words she's had before had died in her throat.

You see a tear rolling down her cheek from the side, and you held your hands back from wiping it off.

She looks at you, guilt swimming in her eyes, and she takes a shaky breath in before letting it go.

"...There's really..." She looks away from you, unable to even stare back at you. Your heart felt heavier than you knew it could.

"...nothing I could say or do to make you feel better." She said tearfully, her lips going down as she thought of her next words. She swallows her collected saliva again. That hit you like a million little glass pieces piercing through every part of your living, loving soul.

There really was not much she could reason with other than the fact that it had been true. She's fallen out of love with you, but even she didn't want to admit it.

"I've been with someone else. I...wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how." She admitted with her shoulders going up at her last words. There it was. The truth coming straight out of her mouth. Your lips nearly trembled, but your teeth sank down on it.

"How...long?" You ask, and you almost didn't want to know, but for the sake of closure, you urged on. She stays quiet, her own hands gripping the couch.

"How long, Wanda?" You pressed. Was it a month ago? It couldn't have been longer than that.

"Only after eight months of us moving here." It was before you even had your break. You made the math quickly in your head. You moved in a little more than a year ago, so it's been...six months?

You had been in this devouring hole for six months, and you hadn't even realized it. And she didn't tell you or break up with you. Instead she requested a break. No wonder your hope had died to sparks and to nothingness.

"What?" You whispered under your quivering breath, your head tilting in disbelief as your eyes spilled out in silent tears.

"Wanda." You say her name softly. She looked down in her lap as you let out another breath that nearly sounded like a sob. She sniffles, and you know the both of your hearts are breaking.

"Why?" You ask, although it was more of a thought from your head that spewed out unintentionally rather than a logical question. She couldn't answer. She didn't have an answer herself. It just happened. That's how it always is.

"...I thought you loved me." Your voice was small, as if speaking any louder would make the entire universe disappear in fear, just like your love had.

"I did! Or, I do!! I don't know!!!" She blurts out, not being able to decide which one. Her body had deflated at the high chance of losing you tonight.

"So you fell out of love with me completely?" Your eyes watch her carefully, and just for a vivid moment, she hesitantly, just barely nods.

"And you didn't think to just...break it off." You whisper, although it was more of a sentence to yourself. But she heard it anyway. It was obvious what you were pointing towards in your sentence. She sighs. She knows she's taken a step she couldn't take back.

Really, how can someone bring theirselves to having a full conversation about falling out of love? It's a difficult thing to do. Sure, you'd be heartbroken either way, or somehow you would have been able to work it out, but you supposed something else in you just wished you hadn't suffered all those months hoping for absolutely...nothing.

The two of you sit in the silence of what you'd think is death, not knowing what exactly to do with it all. The love you once had was gone. Or at least...hers.

Something spins around in your head. It's been spinning for ages since she had called to take a break, and you had hoped you never had to say it, but what else was there? You could start over, but this love had already started over before. Or had tried to. Technically it was both. This was the end of the road.

"...It's over." You whisper out into the room, and Wanda finally glanced up at you, her face full of heartbreak. Even though she probably saw it coming. You've seen that look before, and your stomach was about to collapse at even a second of it. You kept the eye contact though, needing to fully close this.

In a way, you searched her eyes, for some reason, still searching for anything that once was. But there wasn't anything but hopeless desperation.

"No...no please, I need you." She says, taking breaths in between as she cried. You hated seeing her like this. But you hated going in circles just as much.

"If you really did, then you wouldn't have done such a thing." She had nothing else to say to that. It had been your breaking point. You averted your gaze and stood up, hesitating for a moment, but eventually going off to the bedroom as she sat there in the consequences of her actions.

You walk into the room and close the door, locking it right after. You gently lean your head against the door, while silent tears freely move down your skin. The supply of water in your body was definitely infinite for today. A part of you wanted to laugh at the mere thought, and just to cope, but you were too tired to even do so.

You take in a breath, looking up to the ceiling as you felt your throat swell up, but you try your best to be quiet. You'd hate for her to hear you sob in the other room. She might be doing the same thing herself. You squeeze your eyes shut for a short time, wishing for it all to just stop.

And technically it's about to.

Gently, you push off the bedroom door and your legs take you to the front of your closet. The next move was obvious.

Your hands clenched theirselves as your eyes stare at the closet doors. You take a look around the room, taking in the space with your eyes lingering on some parts. The book Wanda hasn't finished reading. She stopped reading it ever since she started to disappear. You should have seen the signs.

The little teddy bear she got, the daisies you got her in the corner of the room, the DVDs she has in the TV stand, the music collection you have next to it.

You rip your gaze away and let your hands open the closet doors. A travel bag and a luggage bag was just under the hanged clothes, sitting within a compartment.

With trembling hands, you slide both out, putting them on the bed and unzipping them. It was the same bags you used to move into the house.

You grab some of the clothes you once shuffled through just earlier this morning, making sure to remember which ones are Wanda's, and not yours.

They were placed into the bags, and you stared at the folded shirts. They looked wrong. You throw your head back with a sigh, frustrated. The bed dips when you sat on it, the bags moving along just a little with it.

What are you thinking? The promise to stay, to fight through it all, it had all fallen apart. The one person you didn't leave after just a few months, and yet here you are. Packing. You let your body fall down completely on the mattress, legs dangling while you stared at the ceiling.

How many times have you stared up there? You don't even want to know. Before you lost all motivation and your emotions ran slow, you slowly prop yourself up to your arms and got back up. If you stopped now, you won't be gone in the morning.

Toothbrush, toothpaste, everything else you need and all the essentials. The last of it gets stored in the empty parts, and with the quiet sound of the zipper zipping, it was done.

With a relieved sigh that you could now simply lay on the pillows, your arms splayed out, your body giving up the last of its energy. You definitely couldn't get up anymore to do anything else.

This was the last night you were sleeping in this bed.

The crickets couldn't be any more louder with filling up the silence. You hated it. It felt too short, but all at the same time, it feels like it's gone on for too long.

Your vision faded into black as your mind stayed loud, up until it crept into your dreams. She slept on the couch that night.

In the morning, you woke up heavy and go through everything as if you didn't even sleep. Not even a cold shower helped you. Honestly, it might have just helped numbing the pain in your chest instead. You gather your items, gripping your bags tightly.

What if you just drop them and simply isolate yourself in the room? No. You shook your head, walking over to the door.

Your hand remains on the cold door knob for a short while, and you almost stay long enough to have it warmed up from your skin. It gets twisted though, and you open it.

If not for the sleeping figure on the couch, it would have been an empty room. You walk out to the front door with your eyes lingering on her.

Maybe her love was too good for you anyway. You just couldn't give her enough. Or too much. It didn't even make sense anymore. There was no in between your heart and mind could agree on. Even you didn't know what you were thinking.

Just as you click open the lock and went to open the front door, she slowly awakes. The shuffling makes you turn to look at her. You catch the realization and sadness in her eyes when you locked sights. Damn the loud clicks and creaking sounds of the doors.

"Where are you going?" She asks, but it was more of a question, than her wanting to stop you.

"Somewhere that isn't here." You say quietly, like a secret thats not meant to be said. She stares off into a space in the room, lost in thought.

"I really am sorry." You hold your breath a little longer, waiting for her to say something else. But she didn't.

There wasn't anything possible to heal the broken love you held. Maybe if she gave in, but her hands had been touched by someone else and her lips...perhaps had met another's.

"I love you." You whispered impulsively, although quiet and quick, it made sound to reach her ears nonetheless.

But yet, she was silent.

You stare at her for a second more, and few seconds too long to say you're determined in leaving. She wasn't looking at you.

You take a step to turn, and the door slides open with the pull of your hand.

You take another, then when you're outside and the door closes gently, the quietness of it all consumed you.

You check your belongings, you had your bags, your watch, your phone. You have everything except for her.

You check your last pocket, and in it were the keys to the house. You slide it off and it clinks, a familiar sound that you hated made your heart skip a beat every time you heard it.

You leave it off somewhere at the front of the house, and you hope you don't remember where you put it.

It all blurred together as you went to your car, turned on the engine and drove off. Of course you had a plan in mind. You've thought about it a hundred times, but you never thought you'd go with it.

The car arrives to a stop, near the place of your favorite cafe. But you aren't going out. You just needed to drive away from the house.

"Fuck." You cursed under your breath and slammed your fist on the steering wheel, and somehow your hand had slid down to the horn, making you bump into it and the car beeped loudly. You jumped, and looked around alertedly, but no one was there. The sidewalks were empty.

You relievedly let out the breath you were holding once you made sure you were in the clear. Thankfully, it wasn't lunchtime or the weekend.

"God," the word comes out under your breath as you shook your head. The thoughts in your head were harsh, and your shoulders slumped at it.

"How could I have ever possibly thought I was actually the one?" You whisper to yourself, staring at the logo of the car, still somehow shiny, just sitting there in between the controls even from how much you've driven the car.

You grip the steering wheel, but then you notice your arms being covered in a certain cloth. One all too familiar, one you chose in instinct in the morning. You look down on the sweatshirt you're wearing, and it was obvious. It was Wanda's.

You clench your jaw and your hands move to peel it off yourself, the sweatshirt turning into a jumbled up piece of clothing that was inside-out. You didn't even want to look at it, so you threw it to the backseats. You'll deal with it later.

Soon, you went to grab your phone, your hand shaking as you turned on your phone, trying your best to find a certain contact. You hold the device tighter, trying to stop the shaking. But you couldn't.

When you found it, you were hesitant to tap on it, your mind loud of everything bad that could happen. But it was Kate. You take in a shaky breath and tapped on the call button, exhaling your breath as you put your phone to your ear.

"Hello?" Her voice comes out gently. The kinder tone almost makes you let out a breath of relief. Your shoulders relax only a little though.

"Kate?" You ask in a whisper, fiddling a little with your steering wheel and tracing the round shape, the texture brushing the skin of your fingers.

"Hey, what's up?" It was still gentle, but there was a hint of concern in it. She can already tell something was wrong even though you barely said anything.

"Um...I..." Your breath was shaky, and she could hear it. On the other side of the phone, Kate was frowning, but she stayed quiet as she gave you time to get your words out.

You were nibbling your bottom lip as you thought about how to talk about your situation, and in the midst of the moment-- "...Wanda and I broke up," you spew out the words, your mouth not even caring to follow your mind anymore.

"What? What happened?" She was certainly shocked, and you look out the window, trying to distract yourself while at the same time speaking to Kate.

"She was with someone else," you say. The florist you once saw a few months ago came out of his store, greeting a customer outside. It was like you were watching a scene you were once in, in another person's view.

"Oh, shit." She swore out unintentionally, the surprise taking over her mouth. "Sorry," she apologized quickly, and you can imagine her blinking to get ahold of herself. It almost made you let out a soft chuckle.

"...I'm sorry, Y/N. God, I could never imagine Wanda would have done that." Kate said quietly. She adored your relationship together, that much was true, but she also saw the parts of Wanda that you wish weren't true. Yet this, this was an unexpected turn.

"...And since I left the house, I can't even sulk in bed or anything." You let out a gentle breath of a laugh, but it was more of a nervous one.

"I mean, I should've had a plan but-- we'd just keep seeing each other and it just...hurts." The florist had said goodbye to the customer who bought the flowers. He seemed happy as he rewrote some things on his little chalkboard. That man was definitely living his best life.

"Where are you gonna go?" She asks, and you go silent. You couldn't go to Carol's. You wouldn't. She's living with Maria and Monica and you probably wouldn't have a room to sleep other than in the living room on the couch. You wouldn't want to intrude on her living conditions anyway.

"I don't...really have anywhere to go to, so anywhere, I guess." You sink into your seat, looking down in your lap to stop staring at people. Kate was silent for a moment, and you're guessing she either didn't know what to say, or is thinking about something.

"My place is available to you if you want to come. You're always welcome here," she offers, and your eyes relax while your fingers fiddle with theirselves, thinking it over.

"...If that's okay with you. I mean, I don't want to intrude on anything--" You add on after quickly, but you get cut off by Kate.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it, I've missed having you hanging around. And I promise you, I have two forks and spoons now so we don't have to share one or get a plastic one from Mcdonald's that'll break after a few minutes." She jokes, and that actually made you laugh.

"Okay. Okay, thank you, Kate. I'll be there tomorrow." You sit up more properly, getting ready to drive to the airport. You hadn't visited her in a while, so you already had money ready.

"I will be there to pick you up. Okay? Do not get a cab," she says sternly, and you take in a big breath only to let it out as a small sigh.

"Kate," You say sternly back, wanting to protest and not burden her more. But she hums in disagreement. You know she cared about getting you safe and being the best friend she is, but your head was killing you.

"No. No, Y/N. I am not letting you cry in a cab awkwardly first thing you get out the airport." She argues softly, and you let your shoulders down in defeat. At your silence, she waits.

"I'll let you know when I land." You give in, your voice small.

"Okay, good." You can hear the relief in her voice, and your lip tugs up into the smallest smile

"See you, Kate." You were about to end the call, but she speaks up again.

"Hey."

"Take care of yourself."

"I'll try."

"See you."

The call ends, and you start driving.

end of chapter 5.

Series Masterlist <- Chapter 4 Chapter 6 ->

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#🥀 dawn’s collection #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagines #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff fic #undeserving of a love like yours #uoally

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devildom-moss · 2 months

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February poll story

NSFW - Simeon x Barbatos x MC

(Barbatos x Simeon x gn!MC)

(NSFW) (switch!verse!Barbatos / switch(/bratty sub?)!bottom!Simeon / dom!top!MC) (poly/threesome; MC with cock/strap-on; partially outdoor sex; exhibitionism; voyeurism; oral - receiving/strap sucking; anal - giving Simeon and Barbatos; frottage; Simeon gets double stuffed because he's a good boy; slightly cruel and teasing MC; but also plenty of soft MC; multiple orgasms - but no MC orgasm specified; no condom (bad, don't do); anal creampie; cum used as lube (also bad); begging, fingering; handjob; overstim; praise; pet names "good boy(s)" "angel"; slight degradation (slut-praising?); slight aftercare mentions) (established relationship with Simeon; relationship hierarchy) (no plot, all horny)

Word Count: +2,900

“You’re so fucking pretty like this.” You bent down to whisper in Simeon’s ear, keeping your length still inside him as he squirmed, desperate for the slightest bit of friction. You smirked. “So. Fucking. Pretty, angel.”

“Please –” Simeon begged, grinding back against your hips “– more.”

You straightened your spine and placed your hand on the small of Simeon’s back, making him arch against the railing of Purgatory Hall’s balcony. A quarter moon hung in the sky, providing just enough light to make his skin glisten, highlighting every soft edge of his body. He was luminous. The view of the stars twinkling above mountains and over colorful city lights was overshadowed when you had Simeon bent over the rail and moaning on your cock/strap. His skin burned from arousal, and the cool night air felt nice against his burning cheeks as desperation rose in him. How much more would his skin burn if he could think about the potential of someone looking up and seeing him? It bore repeating:

“So. Fucking. Pretty.” You punctuated each word by sliding out of him and thrusting back in with a ravenous force, earning a soft groan every time. Dissolving into a mess of lust and pleasure, Simeon was reduced to whimpers and loud, needy whining.

Those noises echoed into the hall, where they alerted Barbatos, who had stopped by to deliver some sweets that he had baked. Simeon was supposed to be all alone for the weekend, and Barbatos was worried that the angel might get lonely. Upon hearing Simeon groaning, Barbatos used magic to rush into Purgatory Hall and scanned for the source of the noise. The doors to the balcony were left open. Barbatos felt a cold breeze blow in, carrying the sound of Simeon’s moans on the wind. He ran outside.

“Simeon! Are you –” Barbatos stopped dead in his tracks. He should have known better.

You and Simeon both turned to the entrance to see Barbatos standing there. Simeon wanted to look shocked, but all he could manage was a blissful, desperate stare – his mouth still agape and his eyes glossy. He tightened around you, and you smirked at the sudden sensation. Well, Barbatos had already caught you, and if you were going to get in trouble anyway, you might as well keep going. Besides, you couldn’t resist teasing Simeon. You pulled out halfway, feeling his resistance, and bucked your hips back into him.

“Simeon,” you cooed, “You got so tight when Barbatos caught us. Do you like being watched that much, my angel? Should we give him a show?”

“MC, wait, please,” Simeon whined as he tried to push himself upright. But you didn’t wait. You thrust into him, rubbing up against his prostate. He steadied himself against the railing. His sweet moans flooded the air, and without thinking, Simeon started to rock back onto you. The pleasure grew until the cusp of an orgasm brought him back to his senses. “Wait, wait. I’m –”

Yet again, you didn’t wait. Why should you? He was still grinding on you like a desperate little cumslut. You brought his hips against yours as he came over the edge of the balcony with a loud groan. Simeon bent back over the railing and buried his face in his arms, absolutely humiliated.

The mortifying silence in Simeon’s post-orgasm comedown was broken by a chuckle from Barbatos’s direction. Barbatos mused aloud, “Oh my, you know, I was actually worried for a second. I should have figured even you would indulge in such activities.”

You laughed along with Barbatos as you slowly pulled out of Simeon. Despite your careful motion, Simeon still whimpered at the emptiness. He immediately stood upright, turned to you, and attempted to hide himself in the crook of your neck. The feeling of his hot breath and soft lips moving against you as he apologized profusely only made you want to tease him all over again.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologized again, tilting his head so that Barbatos might hear him more clearly. “I didn’t mean to cum in front of you.”

When he was this adorably embarrassed, you also felt the need to dote on him. You scratched his head, massaging small circles into his scalp, and pulled back just enough to kiss his hair. With sweetness laced into your voice, you reminded him, “He stayed and watched, angel. I don’t think there’s anything to apologize for – not if that bulge in his pants is being honest.”

Simeon shivered against you and turned his eyes to Barbatos, catching his gaze before lowering it down the demon’s body. Desire reignited in him. Barbatos set the bag he had brought over down on the nearby table with a mischievous grin. “Can you blame me for getting aroused – watching a cruel, teasing master and their precious, little slut?”

The words burned in Simeon’s ears. You knew that Simeon loved knowing he was yours; to hear Barbatos call him your slut probably validated those sweet little fantasies in his head. As if you wanted to take him down a peg, you turned to Barbatos and asked, “would you like to try being a precious, little slut, too – if my angel doesn’t mind, of course?”

When you looked back at Simeon, he took your hand and brought it up to his cheek. He leaned into your touch and shook his head while nuzzling into your palm. Barbatos took his cue, and without another word, he loosened his tie and walked over to you. In one obedient gesture, Barbatos dropped to his knees at your feet and stared up at you seductively. Then, he shifted his eyes to Simeon, holding his gaze as he licked up your shaft before taking you deep down his throat. His tongue swirled around you as he pulled back, and he left kitten licks on your tip. Simeon squirmed under the heat of Barbatos’s eyes.

“Barbatos.” You clicked your tongue and tilted his gaze back to you. “I believe Simeon has had enough of your leering eyes.”

Your attention to his comfort gave Simeon butterflies; he leaned into your ear and begged seductively, “Can I help Barbatos while he cleans you up? Please?”

“Can he?” you asked Barbatos, placing your hand under his chin and running your thumb along his jawline. Barbatos pulled away from your cock/strap, saliva staining those pretty lips. He smiled up at you blissfully, showing off his sharp canines, and glanced at Simeon quickly. Then, returning his eyes to you, Barbatos bit his lower lip and nodded twice before opening his mouth and taking you halfway down his throat. You groaned and rolled your head back. Collecting yourself, you turned to Simeon and leaned over to kiss him – messy and heated. When you pulled away, you relished his lecherous gaze and gentle panting. “Play nice, angel.”

Simeon walked around Barbatos and kneeled behind him, crawling between his legs. Simeon’s hands wandered from Barbatos’s hips up to his chest. Slowly, with lingering caresses, Simeon helped Barbatos strip out of his shirt. He groped the demon and teased him through his pants with a touch unbefitting an angel. With your cock/strap still down his throat, Barbatos groaned, causing Simeon to giggle.

“You’re pretty cute, aren’t you, Barbatos?” Simeon cooed into his ear, feeling Barbatos twitch through the fabric under his hand. Still rubbing Barbatos with one hand, Simeon used the other to undo Barbatos’s pants, finally freeing his dick. Eagerly, Simeon stroked Barbatos, earning more moans from the demon. Simeon slowly stripped Barbatos of his pants and underwear as he teased him, “You’re so hard. Do my hands feel that good?”

Barbatos’s cheeks were flushed pink as he bobbed his head on your cock/strap, trying to match the pace of Simeon’s hands. You watched his brows knit together. His chest heaved. A loud whimper escaped him. Simeon hummed and showed you his cum-painted hands. Barbatos, as diligent as ever, continued to serve you.

“Good boy. That’s enough, now.” You ran your fingers through Barbatos’s hair and pulled his head back. His tongue slipped out of his mouth, shiny and slick with saliva, as he caught his breath.

It was hard not to lose your composure when Barbatos stared up at you like that – like he was silently begging for more. The dim moonlight illuminated his face, emphasizing the blush that rose up to his ears. Unfortunately, Simeon wouldn’t let your attention stay fixed on Barbatos for long, and he brought his cum-stained hand up to your cock/strap, using Barbatos’s cum to lube you up.

“Shit –” you hissed. That was sexy. You let Simeon do his job while Barbatos’s lower lip trembled in anticipation. When you were coated, you looked down, catching Barbatos’s gaze, and instructed him: “Turn around and bend over.”

Simeon tried to move out of the way as Barbatos turned, but the demon caught his arm. With one hand, Barbatos grabbed his clothes, balled them into a makeshift pillow, and set it down behind Simeon. Barbatos pushed Simeon down on his back, using the clothes to cushion Simeon’s head, and crawled over him. He scoffed through a wicked grin. “Oh no you don’t, little angel. After that, you’re not getting away so easily. I’m sorry if this is uncomfortable, but I need you to bear with it for a while.”

It was hard to believe that you had gotten so lucky as to get both Simeon and Barbatos below you. You joined them on the ground and aligned yourself against Barbatos’s ass. Without warning or preparation, you grabbed his hips and pushed into him, spreading him open with your tip. Barbatos gasped.

“MC!” Simeon glared at you over Barbatos’s shoulder, and scolded, “You should have prepared him.”

“Actually, my angel, you should have prepared him. Besides, I couldn’t let all of Barbatos’s hot cum go to waste, now could I?” Your tone was cold yet teasing, and Simeon’s defiance crumbled into a pout. You pushed yourself deeper into Barbatos’s ass – still only half-way inside. Barbatos groaned and panted, trying to relax and loosen up.

“I’m sorry, Barbatos.” Simeon sighed and brought his clean hand up to Barbatos’s cheek, caressing him gently as he endured the slight discomfort. “Do you want me to distract you with a kiss?”

“Yes,” Barbatos squeaked out as you pushed deeper. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned closer to Simeon, but to his surprise, Simeon’s lips didn’t meet his. Instead, Simeon reached between their bodies, grabbed both of their dicks in his hand, and started to stroke them simultaneously. Simeon whined and Barbatos moaned, rolling his head back and arching his ass up. He was so overwhelmed that he was able to take you to the base. Fuck, they were cute. When the initial wave of pleasure died down, Barbatos grit his teeth and growled. “You dirty fucking tease.”

Unlike you, Barbatos had the decency to prepare Simeon’s ass before fucking him – although he did have your cock/strap in him just a few minutes ago. Barbatos balanced himself on one arm and stuck his fingers in Simeon’s mouth, teasing his tongue. Being so obediently trained, Simeon sucked on Barbatos’s fingers until they were all wet. Between your hips slapping against him as you filled him up and the feeling of Simeon’s hot tongue, Barbatos found it hard to focus. He pulled his fingers out of Simeon’s mouth with a pop and slipped them into the angel’s ass, stretching him out slowly.

You took a wicked pleasure in watching them both fall apart, melting into pants and moans. Barbatos was at his limit. The sight of Simeon writhing under him, still stroking their cocks simultaneously, was too sexy. Barbatos took his fingers out of Simeon and pulled his hips back, forcing your cock/strap deep inside himself. He aligned his aching cock with Simeon’s ass and pushed into him – your thrusting nudging him deeper than he intended.

“You’re so tight, angel,” Barbatos groaned, finally burying himself to the hilt. “No wonder you’re MC’s precious little slut.”

“My favorite little slut,” you corrected him. Your tone softened to lather on a bit of praise, “and my good angel.”

Simeon’s face burned from both of your words – but your praise ruined him more than he wanted to admit. He would do anything to hear you praise him more – for you to call him “yours.” Your sweetness made his hard cock twitch against Barbatos’s stomach.

“What does that make me? Your good demon?” Barbatos tried to tease you through his moaning as his thrusting picked up. He synced up with you, slamming his hips back when you rocked into him. “Your second favorite toy? Better than eighth, I suppose.”

You chuckled in his ear, acknowledging his little joke. As good as he was making you feel, you were pleased that he knew his place. You rewarded him with quicker, harder thrusts. In a low whisper, you praised them both, “my good boys.”

Barbatos moaned your name as he tightened around you, and his thrusting got erratic until, at last, he came inside Simeon. He didn’t even have enough time to come down from his high before you pulled out of him, earning a pathetic, needy whine from the demon.

“MC,” Simeon interrupted, moaning your name like a sweet, desperate plea.

It was all too clear that he wanted more. As precious as Simeon was when he begged for more, and as much as that turned you on, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave him unsatisfied tonight. You gently pushed Barbatos down onto Simeon – forcing him deeper but also giving you just enough access to shove your cock/strap into Simeon’s ass. They both whined and gasped.

“MC, please,” Barbatos whimpered.

“Don’t be selfish, Barbatos,” you scolded him teasingly. “My poor angel didn’t get to cum a second time yet.”

Barbatos looked down at Simeon’s pleading face and nodded. He started to rock his hips again and used one hand to play with Simeon’s chest, pinching and rolling his thumb over Simeon’s nipples. A bit of overstimulation was worth it to watch Simeon’s face twist up in desperate lust as he whined and moaned. Simeon wrapped his arms around Barbatos’s neck, and their lips crashed in a sloppy, hazy kiss. It was a sweet, tender distraction from the pleasure ravaging them both – and Simeon would do anything to savor the feeling of you and Barbatos filling him up. But Barbatos could feel Simeon throbbing against his stomach and tightening around you both, and he broke the kiss, causing Simeon to whine again.

“No more kissing, angel,” Barbatos growled through his panting. “Let me see that face as you cum again.”

Simeon’s eyes screwed shut and his moans hit a fever pitch as he came all over Barbatos’s chest and stomach. When he opened his eyes, Barbatos was staring down at him affectionately. Simeon craned his neck to catch a glimpse of you behind Barbatos. His voice was spent, and he wasn’t certain he had the energy to speak, so he mouthed the words “thank you.”

“Cutie,” you teased.

You grinned and slowly pulled out of Simeon. Apparently, his voice was strong enough for a quiet yelp. Barbatos sighed, trying to calm himself. As you got to your feet, you looked down at them and started to laugh. Barbatos’s back was covered in bright pink scratch marks – with some breaking the skin enough to form small pinpoints of blood.

“I might have to start calling you my kitten, angel. You really did a number on his back,” you informed him with a melodious chuckle.

Once again, Simeon was mortified. He slapped his hands up to cover his face, but Barbatos moved them aside by pinning Simeon’s wrists above his head with one hand. Barbatos gave him a reassuring smile. “Not to worry, angel. I quite enjoyed myself with the both of you. I’ve never had a threesome with a human and an angel before. It was an amusing experience – and now I have a temporary memento. Although, I suppose you do, too.”

Finally, Barbatos pulled out of Simeon. As if prompted by an all-commanding narrator, all three of you looked down to watch cum leaking from Simeon. You pulled yourself together, resisting the urge to milk another round out of Simeon that instant, and offered Barbatos a hand up. He took it, stumbling to your side with shaking legs.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I had a good time, too,” you told Barbatos. You leaned in to kiss him – just passionate enough to pull a content sigh from each of you without riling you up. When you parted, you both offered Simeon a hand, pulling him into your arms. “I think it’s about time to give my good boys a shower – or would you prefer a bath?”

“A shower is fine with me,” Barbatos replied.

“And you, angel? Is a shower good?” you asked, caressing his cheek. Simeon nodded against your hand. You cooed, “my good boy. My sweet angel.”

“Shall I prepare some tea afterwards?” Barbatos offered, slowly returning to baseline. “I can choose something to go with the pastries I brought with me.”

“So that’s what was in that bag,” you laughed as you guided them both back inside. “Yes, Barbatos, thank you. that would be very nice, my sweet demon.”

“Of course, master,” Barbatos teased. Simeon, still in a daze, could only bring himself to pout. Barbatos noticed and stopped in his tracks to snake a hand up Simeon’s neck. “However, I brought them for you, angel.”

Simeon’s face burned, but Barbatos was no better with a noticeable blush on his cheeks as he turned and continued towards the bathroom. You were in for an interesting weekend.

A/N: Sorry I'm a little late on this one. I hope you enjoy this everyone. I hope it's not too out of character... I just really wanted them to get ruined. It felt kinda dirtier than the other stuff I've done. Anyway, yeah. This one's really for the doms/dommes and tops. Also, expect a new poll up March 1st at midnight PST.

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thevirgincherry · 5 months

Text

hii another leon thing im never gonna finish sooo hiiii :3 reader is gn but is referred to as looking feminine, sorta nsfw

The attic is jam packed with pink fibreglass that Leon told you not to touch. You touch it, get itchy, then try to hide the itch from him. He notices, hits you on the back of the head lightly, doesn’t scold you ‘cause he’s not capable of that. Wouldn’t dream of it.

He doesn’t have a lot of memories. You’ve got multiple boxes chock-full of water damaged photos, thick albums with torn pages, and art dating back to when you were in preschool. You notice the wistful smile on his face and tuck everything away, push the box against the back wall where it’s left to gather dust.

“What’s this?” You rifle through his old things, pull out all sorts of chunky gadgets.

“Game boy,” he tells you.

“No way, I’ve never actually seen one before!” That makes him wince. “I wonder how much we could sell it for.”

“Hey,” he plucks it from your grasp, “don’t go sellin’ my things, this is useful.”

While he tries to get it working, mumbling something ‘bout how it might be good for your future kids, which you firmly doubt, you rummage through his belongings. Would you look at that? Somebody’s got a naughty streak.

Playboy February 1995. Fabulous at 40. The Girls Next Door All Grown Up. PLAYBOY’S FIRST INTERNATIONAL SEX SURVEY.

Dirty old man. So he’s been keeping these stashed in the loft all this time? The lady on the front is totally his type, dark-haired and red-lipped, you wonder who the centrefold is, probably some blonde bombshell you’ve never heard of. There’s a few pages that have been dog-eared, you flick through them, he hasn’t noticed yet. Only when you wave it around in front of his face, a page that’s been worn down beyond belief, lightly crusted over with god knows what. You’d rather not find out. That’s not really what catches your eye anyway, ‘cause you let him stuff your throat nightly, a little jizz shouldn’t bother you.

Leon swipes it away from you quickly, always swift in his reflexes. He’s flustered, you see it in his trembling fingers, his parted lips, that sheepish look on his face. Cute.

“Leon, she totally looks like me,” you pry his fingers from the magazine to keep it from getting more crumpled than it already is. Point at the busty model dressed in nothing but her million dollar smile. Heroin Chic must’ve never been his thing, ‘cause she’s got the nicest rack you’ve ever seen. Pornstar tits.

“No she don’t, she’s…” He starts, shut down by your glare a second later.

“Liar,” you flap it around, “this is what I would look like if I had a good plastic surgeon.”

“You don’t need a surgeon, babe.”

“Aw, you think so, baby?” You give him a wet kiss on the cheek, “you’re soo sweet to me.” He snickers, you’re easily placated.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x you #resident evil x reader #🪷.shorts

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urdrowning · 1 year

Text

reconcile / l. williamson

AN i apologise for the quality. i am very much hungover as i write this. and idc if its mid february let me use this christmas gif my girl is ADORABLE my god i need to be in leah williamson’s arms RN

requested? - yes

word count - 2.5k (i’m proud of that)

—————

sarina had finally announced the england squad for the AC cup. you were elated to see you’re name listed. having recently recovered from a broken ankle, you were barely getting playtime. it’s as if nobody believes you’re truly fully healed, especially with jonas keeping you as pretty much a permanent bench warmer. knowing that sarina trusts you and you’re abilities is like a wash of relief and you’re over the moon. you assumed leah, your girlfriend, would be celebrating with you, as she’s repeatedly campaigned for your wellness and ability. but now it feels like it’s all been a lie.

you were out visiting your best friend, alex scott when you found out, she unsuccessfully attempts to lift you up in a hug of congratulations due to her shorter stature. you thank her before you realise that you have to go home and tell your girlfriend (even though she already knows, she’s on the same squad. but she’d pretend to act shocked for you anyway) excitement rushes through you as you practically ran to your car and sped home (which may result in a speeding ticket, but who cares, you’re gonna be playing for england).

rushing into your shared flat with a giant smile on your face to tell your lover the news, you’re greeted with a frown on her face before she utters

“you can’t do it y/n, you’re not ready.”

the smile drops from your face and it makes leah’s stomach twist with guilt, but she refuses to let it show and remains staring at you with a stern gaze.

“you.. i- what?”

you spluttered in shock. where did this come from? for several weeks she’s been by your side, fighting for you to get playtime.

“you can’t do it. you’re not ready to play in a tournament like this yet.”

your pride seems to shrink as you begin to fill with anger. how could she? all of her support and for what? just to belittle you and your abilities?

“are.. are you serious right now, leah?”

you hated this. you’re not a fan of conflict in general, but with your girlfriend? a nightmare. the thought of her being angry with you making your world feel as if it’s shattering.

but the anger that courses through you almost crushes the dread you feel, you’re justified in this argument, she isn’t.

“dead serious. you need to call up sarina and tell her you can’t compete. you’re not ready and sarina should’ve realised that”

she sighs. she hates this as much as you do. she hates to be the reason you’re upset, but she is adamant in her opinion.

“why? why, leah, am i not ready? because i have been working my ass off for weeks and you know this!”

you’re raising your voice, making her wince slightly, it goes unnoticed by you due to your unbridled anger and she scoffs at your lack of empathy as she snaps at you

“because you’re not capable enough! there’s a reason you haven’t been getting playtime you know, it's because you’re not trusted, y/n! you’ll slip on your ass and injure yourself again, you’ll put the whole fucking team in jeopardy, and i’m not ready to lose because of you being a loose end.”

word after word is like a stab in the gut. hearing it from a normal teammate? painful. but hearing it from your girlfriend? agonising.

“oh.”

you try to hide how your voice is raw with emotion, but you know it’s a futile attempt. she hears it anyway. she reaches out for you slightly.

“y/n..”

you move away from her touch, cold and distant. you don’t look at her, your gaze fixated on the floor. you know that one look in her blue eyes and you’re gonna break.

“don’t. just.. don’t.”

your voice shakes as you move away. you can’t be here right now. you can’t be around leah.

so, what do you do? you grab your car keys, turn towards the door and leave. leah doesn’t move. she doesn’t try to stop you. she’s dug her grave, she may as well lay in it.

you sit in your car for at least 6 minutes before you start the engine. tears fall from your eyes and warm your face. it feels as if your heart has been ripped out of your chest, you feel as if you’ve been stabbed in the back. out of all the people to doubt you, leah? the person you love most? why did it have to be her.

you wipe the tears off of you, take a deep breathe and drive. you don’t know where you’re headed, all you know is that you need to be away from leah.

why you ended up at alex’s house once again is beyond you. but here you are, sat on your bestfriends sofa, crying in her arms.

“i’m sorry, y/n. she’s being an absolute dickhead. you’re more than capable and she should know that better than anyone.”

she holds you tightly as she rants. vehemently disagreeing with leah, defending you so passionately. it’s as if she retired from playing as a defender in football to become your own personal defender instead.

“i appreciate it al but in all honesty i’d rather forget about it. i’m tired, i just wanna scream into a pillow for the rest of the night.”

she laughs lightly as she releases you from her tight grip, nodding at you.

“you know where the spare room is. stay as long as you need, okay? love you”

she truly means it, and although it’s not what you need, the small statement makes you feel a bit better.

“thank you, al, love you too. night.”

she squeezes your arm lightly, mumbles goodnight and leaves you to your own devices. you sniffle slightly and head for alex’s spare room. which has practically become your bedroom with the amount of times you’ve stayed here.

the minute you walk in you can do nothing but collapse on the bed, the past few hours have been a whirlwind of emotions and it’s drained you of any energy you possessed. you glance at your phone to check the time, only to be greeted by your lock screen, a photo of you and leah. she’s hugging you from behind, kissing your cheek as you close your eyes, smiling. you groan at the image as it causes more tears to spring to your eyes, you attempt to block the photo with your hand as you check the time to see that it’s only 5:54 pm. you sigh and contemplate your options.

you could either, stay in the room, look at photos of leah, cry and binge watch pitch perfect. or, you could simply just sleep and pretend that today’s fight never even happened.

you choose the latter, as the crushing weight of reality is too much to deal with.

…

so maybe sleeping it off wasn’t the best idea you’ve had.

after about 5 minutes of you forcing your eyes shut, and trying to force your mind to be calm. you realised that you can’t sleep without leah’s presence which then causes you to get emotional again at just the thought of her (you’re a little unstable there babes, but it’s okay, we don’t blame you!)

you text alex, asking her to come hold you again. you can hear the thumps of her footsteps before she opens the door and slides onto the bed

“i’m sorry about this.”

she smacks you playfully. opens her arms for you. you slot yourself into her arms and sigh. it’s nice, but it isn’t leah.

“don’t apologise, y/n. you’re my bestfriend. i’m here for you.”

you murmur a thank you as your eyes grow heavy. the emotional exhaustion mixed with the comfort of you’re best friends touch sends you into a deep sleep.

——————

you wake up to raised voices, the sounds making your newfound headache 10x as painful.

memories of the previous day flood your mind as you sit up in bed, you feel better after having rested, but still, the memory of the fight and what was said crushes on you.

shaking your head to clear yourself of your thoughts, you try to listen in to the voices from outside your door.

“i don’t trust that you won’t snap on her again though”

that’s alex, she has a protective tone to her voice

“i won’t. just, please. let me speak to her.”

you’d recognise that voice anywhere. anxiety fills you as you realise that she’s hunted you down. of course she has. you ran out on her. she’s probably come to end things with you officially.

you hear alex sigh.

“.. fine. but if you upset her, you’re out.”

of course she managed to find you. of course you would go to alex’s house. leah knows you better than you know yourself. she’s your other half, and now you’re about to lose that. it’s crazy that even after all the horrendous things she said to you yesterday, you’re sat here in anxiety about HER leaving YOU. god, the grip this woman has on you is insane.

a knock on the door ceases your inner monologue.

“come in.”

you cringe at the sound of your voice. the hoarseness of it is not at all pleasant.

the door starts to open and you see her shadow before you see her. your mind goes to overdrive. this is it, the end of the best 4 years of your life. she steps in the room and she’s holding something behind her back, you close your eyes, not wanting to see the box of your things she’s most likely collected. you’re not ready for this to be over, not willing to accept your reality. with a sigh, you open your eyes slowly to see that instead of a box, she’s holding.. flowers?

“for you.”

she looks shy. you look confused. if the tension from yesterdays argument wasn’t there, you’d have both laughed at each others faces. but instead you glance at the flowers in her hand. red and yellow tulips, your favourite.

you take them from her, clutching them tightly, you whisper a thank you.

“leah, what are you doing here-“

she cuts you off, talking quickly.

“i need to talk to you, will you hear me out? please, just listen to me.”

you nod, gesturing for her to continue. you won’t talk, you’ll let her say what she needs to say. you’re not in the wrong here, she is.

“y/n, i- .. i’m so sorry. i love you, i love you so so much and i am so sorry. you have every right in the world to be angry with me, i mean shit, i’m angry with myself. i can’t believe i let my emotions take control of me, i don’t think you’re a burden. you’re everything to me.”

she’s nervous as she speaks, stammering and playing with her fingers. it reminds you of when she first asked you on a date, over 4 years ago, she was shaking with nerves.

your voice is small when you speak, taking her words into account but also remembering the cause of the argument itself.

“so why did you say those things leah? why don’t you think i’m good enough to play?”

she frowns and shakes her head, her eyes are looking at your hands, clutching the flowers she’d given you tightly.

“i should never have said anything like that. you’re more than capable of playing, i mean hell, you’re incredible. i was just being selfish.”

she’s determined. she’s got a mission in her mind, and leah’s too competitive to give up on her mission. she’s not going to stop trying to earn your forgiveness.

“selfish?”

you’re even more confused. you can’t begin to understand.

“yeah, selfish. y/n, you mean the world to me. i love you more than i love anything. when you first broke your ankle during the match against chelsea and i saw you get carried off on that stretcher.. it was awful. seeing you in pain, it scared me so much. i know you’re healed now, but i’m scared, i don’t want you to get hurt again. i cant stand seeing you in pain and suffering.”

you sit there and process what she’s told you. taking in all the information, her fear of your health.

“my god leah, you need to learn how to be straightforward.”

you laugh at her. you need to teach her how to communicate better. she lets out a laugh. you’re not sure whether it’s because of your joke or if it’s out of pure relief, but the sight of her smile is enough for you to not question it.

“maybe i do.”

she smiles at you, still standing infront of the bed, looking at you. suddenly aware of how awkwardly she’s been stood there, you roll your eyes at her as you reach over to grab the hem of her shirt.

“get over here, idiot.”

you don’t have to tell her twice, she gets into the bed and melts into your arms. she buries her face on your chest as her arms wrap around your middle. you rest your head on the top of her own, gently stroking her back as you lay together. a contented sigh leaves her.

“i was so nervous. i was worried you’d not want to ever see me again.”

you smile slightly, both glad to know that you weren’t alone in your worries and glad that she values you so greatly, that she fears the thought of not having you in her life.

“not a chance, we’ve got too many plans together. i can’t really become y/n williamson on my own, can i?”

leah lifts her head from your chest as she moves her hand to cup your cheek. she gazes at you with an enamoured look in her eyes.

“i adore you, y/n.”

she leans in and your lips meet. kissing leah is unreal, her lips fit against your own perfectly, and almost every kiss with her is as special as your first. she pours so much passion into the kiss, as if she’s trying to portray how much love she has for you through it. you move a hand to her hair as the kiss deepens. you’re both in a world of bliss until a sock smacks the side of both your faces.

“oh no, you are NOT doing this in my house!”

alex stands in the doorway, hands on her hips looking like a very disgusted mother.

“ugh, alex! what’s wrong with you!”

you groan, your face flushed with embarrassment as you bury it in leah’s shoulder. leah laughs at you, her face flushed with both embarrassment of being caught and excitement of being with you.

“come on y/n, let’s go home, yeah? i’ve got some more presents for you back in our flat.”

she gets up and offers her hand towards you, you take it, smiling.

“gladly.”

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