#anyways i definitely have a normal number of emotions about these two :')

[maleficarum-and-mythal]

talk about whatever ocs you want to infodump about!!

hehehe ok, so I’ve been listening to ‘Call Them Brothers’ by Regina Spektor and it’s gotten me thinking about Cylvin’s relationship with Solas

So, Solas and Cylvin more often than not do not get along on a fundamental basis. Solas who desperately wants to explain the real history of the elves, and Cylvin who hates having such things explained to him as though he doesn't already know them. The first thing Solas sees when they meet is Cylvin's vibrant red Vallaslin proudly adorning his face, and Solas feels a mix of disdain and pity for him. Disdain he understands, but Cylvin doesn't want pity, especially not from the person who so freely disavows his own people. To him, if either were deserving of pity, it was Solas; so stuck in the Fade and in the past, he can't connect with real people. Cylvin sometime wonders if Solas even has a real stake in the fight against Corypheus.

But I think in spite of this, there is, in rare moments, a sort of kinship between them. They both understand the weight of a title unwanted, even if Cylvin doesn't know it, and Solas does often feel something adjacent to admiration for Cylvin's stubborn kindness and pride in his culture. And Cylvin could sometimes find respect in Solas' conviction to his beliefs, even though it often put the two at odds.

Cylvin tries to close the metaphorical gap between them, listens to Solas' stories, shares quiet conversations in elvhen, tells him things he knows would dishearten any of the others in the Inner Circle. But like most things in their relationship, it feels like trying to fit the pieces of two different things back together. Sometimes the pieces look like they almost fit, but at the end you will not have a whole by any stretch of the imagination. In the days leading up to the final battle with Corypheus, Cylvin asks if they might have been friends under different circumstances, Solas lies and says yes.

#Dragon Age: Inquisition #DA: Inquisition #oc: cylvin lavellan #da solas #dragon age oc #dai oc #this took me a few days sorry lol #anyways i definitely have a normal number of emotions about these two :')

[being-of-rain]

My blog tells me that I finished reading The Adventuress of Henrietta Street around 4 years ago. That was around the time that I finished uni (and the pandemic happened) and I just stopped reading novels. Before then, I was reading the EDAs on-and-off all throughout high school and university, and got around 70% of the way through them. It's a really important series to me for a whole number of personal reasons.

So I'm really very happy to say that I finally finished a new EDA! 🎉🎉🎉 My first, shortlived attempt at Mad Dogs and Englishmen was 4 years ago, but now I've finished it! Here's hoping many more EDAs follow it. And the rest of my massive to-read list.

Mad Dogs and Englishmen was classic Paul Magrs, so it was good that I went in expecting none of it to make a whole lot of sense. Magrs really does like focusing on aesthetics, meta-commentary, and sometimes emotions over realism or strong plot logic. I really don't mind those kind of focuses, but I much prefer them with some grounding in realistic emotions and a coherent plot, which is why I'm not sure Magrs is quite as high in my list of favourite Who authors as other EU fans. I appreciate what he does with his stories, they're just not my favourite. For example, in this novel a bunch of seemingly normal clay figurines come to life for, unless I'm forgetting something, no reason at all. It's a cool sequence, but not really much more. Then the monsters lead to the kinda awful death of a minor character because the protagonists... ignored him? Forgot about him? And the novel brushes past that pretty quickly. So yeah when I read a Magrs novel, I just need to switch off my mind's logic (including, sometimes, emotional logic) and just enjoy the ride.

But having said all that, I did enjoy the ride quite a lot! Definitely more than The Blue Angel, which I remember dragged a little for me. Mad Dogs, on the other hand, really held my attention, especially when I got to the point where the Tardis team had split up on their own adventures, and all three of them were equally entertaining (A rare EDA achievement!) It's always a joy for Iris to turn up, though I wish she could've been in more of the book, and Fitz's reaction to figuring her out was so entertaining. Also, does Iris' new body in this book make her one of the first Time Lords(ish) in any media to change skin colour? Just two months before Don Warrington made his first appearance as Rassilon (It's always fun to figure out what the comics and audios were doing at the same time as the novel I'm up to.)

Anyway, the premise of the Doctor and his team investigating the various stages of a novel's adaptation into a movie to find out how and why it was temporally interfered with to turn it into propaganda for another planet's politics is fantastic. Noel Coward having such a large part in the plot was a little surprising but fun. It's interesting how Anji still feels like she doesn't quite fit this life after 10 novels now, the poor girl. And the infamous scenes where the Tardis team are stripped naked, collared, and made to crawl around by dogs, and only Anji is at all upset about that is hilarious (That just happened to be the bit I was up to when my girlfriend asked me to read aloud to her to help her fall asleep. She ended up asking me to stop because what I was reading was 'too interesting' for her to sleep to 😂)

#my thoughts #edas #eight #fitz #anji #iris

[oceanlipgloss]

POTTERY

BARBATOS.

+ warnings: angst.

+ my mc is the heroine, so the pronouns are feminine.

She touched him like he were not one of the oldest entities in creation, but a being more fragile than she, or a piece of pottery.

It was somewhat...well, amusing. He thought it was, at least, for did she really think he would give under the pressing fingers of time when he was powerful enough to ward off her darkest fears?

Anyone else would have wondered that, but he knew better. The answer to that absurd question, anyway, was always the same: never. Of his power she was very much aware, even more than some of the others were.

And the truth as they both knew it is, he's unlike delicate ceramics, and he's most definitely not one of them in the making, either—all yielding clay, raw and tender; on the contrary, his blood flowed with magic, atonement and a surreal number of years.

It's true, he had soft skin that dented under the slightest pressure, hair that shimmered in the sun like anyone else's, and was created of flesh and blood. It's true, his body was faintly warm to the touch. 

As human as he appeared to be, though, that was just illusion, trickery—because there was nothing human about the untold centuries in his eyes, nothing human about how he had existed for such a long time, nothing human about the way he continued to live as though there will never be an end to his life.

How daunting she believed it to be, such an endless existence! She thought that perhaps he too found it tiresome sometimes, which was why she was so gentle with him, so nice.

And in his opinion, it was normal—as casual as breathing, in fact—how he devoted himself to the heir; surely that had to be the reason he found being taken care of now, after so long, to be strange.

Having a pretty little creature like her tend to him also made the predicament more quaint. She was human, yet cared about demons as such...how impossibly humane.

That's not to say he didn't appreciate the sentiment, however, because he very much did. He liked feeling her gentle palm on his tail. He liked the way her sweet fingertips traced the glowing veins. And he found it humorous, how doing that left her hand wet and made her jokingly complain.

He appreciated that she never made things awkward; between the two of them, there was hidden attraction on his side, platonic love on hers. Of course, he allowed his heart to...ache...every now and then, but it was easier for them to stay that way. Better.

How to put this? It was like dark chocolate—rich, bitter, sweet. He liked the bittersweet flavour of it. There was something pleasant about a one-sided romance. He thought that his love was something that belonged to him and no one else; he would have liked to share it with her, but now he didn't have to.

Oh, and yes, his heart may have softened and his affection expanded as they spent moments of innocence together, but it was still very solid. Conviction and dedication were his closest friends. Atonement and loyalty sailed his blood.

So...even if she did reflect his emotions and feel the same kind of love for him, he could not have—would not have—possibly chosen her.

Maybe in another era, in another time, in another life.

+note: I finally, finally managed to find it in me to finish this. And wow, this is my first Barbatos fic in months. The last time I wrote for him was all the way back in summer.

+ MASTERLIST

+ AO3 POST

©𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙜𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨

#shall we date barbatos #barbatos x mc #swd barbatos #om! barbatos #obey me barbatos #obey me swd #shall we date obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me #shall we date? obey me! #om! shall we date #om! swd #obmswd #obey me fanfic #obey me nightbringer barbatos #obey me nightbringer #om! nightbringer #omnb #the story factory

[topazpearl]

So remember my big sbg theory doc? forget that existed, heres the new one

Discusses up to Ep 61. Fast-pass spoiler FREE

Content discussions about death, mental illness, sui.cide; yknow. Heavy Thriller webtoon stuff (tm)

[Hamilton chorus voice] NUMBER ONE: Giant freakin phantompedes and how to escape them

-I was right about the football field lights to try to kill them idea yippee

-HOEWVERR, theres so many attacking the school rn and its freaking collapsing?? I literally dont know how they’re gonna get outta this

-Unless (unless) my Phantom Ashlyn theory is relevant, ashlyn can talk to them and tells them to go away and they… do! idk lol it's stupid but maybe ash has enough girl boss energy to convince them. or theyre so shocked by a human talking to them theyre like "dang ok". Could still happen! 

NUMBER TWO: Phantom Transformation Theory

So it’s Basically confirmed: 

If you die in the PD, you start to turn into a Phantom.

Of course we wont know for sure until we actually SEE it but like, Aiden’s creepy af smile and basically coming back to life in ashlyn’s arms after DYING it’s like, basically confirmed. 

Ash wonders why Aiden snapped out of his seizure so fast compared to Tyler. Severity of injuries could definitely be a factor (tho like, im assuming Aiden got freaking blunt force trauma brain damage which, to me, is just as bad as being impaled). Another factor could be that Tyler died only about 30 minutes into the Time, while Aiden died almost right when it ended. And… we saw how fast Aiden started to “turn”. Red technically never shows us Tyler during those hours after he died. He very well… may have completely phantomized, but when he woke up in the real world, the transformation reverted. I'm very scared abt what Aiden’s gonna be like next night.

SUB THEORY: The Power of Human Connection and Phantom Reversal

Remember how Jasmine (the gang tour girl) asked if it was alright that all the kids got sucked in w/ ashlyn? This implies that 

1. They usually expect 1 person/their target to get sucked into the PD

2. The origami gang has never dealt with a group being sucked in at once

- I believe (and the evil gang doesnt know this) that the kids being together is an integral part of their future survival. Tyler snapped back to consciousness in the hospital after Taylor had her PISSED moment. This moment was similar to Logan’s freakout, in that it tugged the phantom world to the real world, for a second. I think these intense emotions (taylor’s specifically out of anger and worry for her twin), pulled tyler’s “soul” out of the PD and into the RD. 

- Now, you may ask, “what abt if a random person got into the PD and died and went into a seizure/coma? Why couldnt their loved ones “bring” them back?” thats a good Q idk. Perhaps the kids all being in the PD together is what creates this flow, a two-way street, between the two dimensions. 

- Anyway also while Ashlyn and co didnt didnt get into an angry freakout moment when Aiden died, but we all know Ash and Aiden got something developing/going on thats special ♥, and thats what tugged Aiden back (its cliche but its the power of love there i said it). 

- Also NOT saying that the other kids’ concern over their friends doesn’t matter or count (Ben and Aiden are Fam too), but like, i’m wondering if it needs to be a REALLY INTENSE love (familial/romantic/whatever) in order to basically bring someone back from the dead. idk

-interestingly, ty WAS essentially in a coma-like state, like how the spy said, which supports that it’s expected that ppl die in the PD eventually, and go into comas. I’m wondering if those who normally get sucked into the PD and die, theyre dealing with it by themselves, have no one to “pull them back” like taylor and/or ashlyn did, and they stay in a coma. 

-rlly hope the boys arent like “possessed” or smn. Maybe the soul is like, tainted? Those big black eyes man… (ALSO THAT PREVIEW IMAGE WITH LOGAN AND THE BIG BLACK EYES??? WHAT??)

-going off the dead PD ppl turn into phantoms theory>> If a phantom is killed, their connected person in the RD who was in a coma dies fr permanently

NUMBER THREE: Ashlyn and the Phantoms (cool new band name) 

we know the kids are getting influenced by the PD, making phantom noises (further supports phantoms were people theory) but with Ashlyn's "really strong" connection to the PD, she's in special danger. If one can turn into a phantom without dying, it's gonna be her. Ryan the spy said that "the girl" – assumingly ashlyn– should be "especially" at risk of danger. This could be bc she was the one who interacted with the rift, or bc she already has a higher level of phantom influence on her. 

-when ashlyn told the phantom to let go, and her friends to calm down, both times she spoke with a black speech bubble WITH PHANTOM NOISE LINES NEAR IT. this is different than characters who have also spoken with black bubbles (aiden, logan, taylor). obviously these have been with threats/malice, but they didn't have the red lines. These times ashlyn has spoken, the phantom acknowledged her voice, and her friends' spell-like violence trance was broken. Theory: ashlyn not only can hear phantoms, but she can speak their language sort of

-when ashlyn was born, a phantom like touched her in a blessing/cursing sense which is part of the reason why she can hear phantoms and her strong PD connection. possibly even possession???? 

-tldr i want ashlyn to enter her monster girl era 

The evil gang seems confused why the kids have lasted so long. maybe Ashlyn's PD connection goes both ways. she provides a strong anchor to the RD. Maybe the PD is USUALLY all desolate with the pillars that we saw in the finale (maybe it's even an afterlife of sorts?), but Ashlyn makes a huge radius (~30 miles! (assuming kids were driving at least 60mph for 30 minutes)) of the PD around where she wakes up mirror the real world, creating a safer space for her and the kids. meanwhile a normal person that gets sucked into the PD gets thrown into a desolate hell world different from the RD (also maybe stuck there permanently), causing them to die much quicker. 

-maybe this influence is even part of the reason why RD tyler is awake (And aiden)

-Ashlyn's influence extends to jamming the recording devices like some kind of weird phantom static.

-Broke: Ashlyn's parents wanted her to learn self defense and have a knife bc they're in the military. Woke: they want her to be able to protect herself after the phantom scare when she was a baby

-Also THANK GOD she’s finally acting on her intuition. Sm times she’s been like “this feels bad!” and doesnt do anything. Almost makes me wonder if it’s a supernatural intuition based on phantom stuff. Like shes WAY OFF from the hospital and the drama and is like “HMM! Smn going on” 

NUMBER FOUR: Origami gang and Co INC. 

-The gangs symbol is an origami crane (orizuru). the crane in East Asia has longevity as one of its symbolisms, with some myths saying it flies souls up to paradise. there's the popular myth that if you fold 1000 cranes you get a wish.

Heres where the evil twist comes in. The gang boss believes that if he traps 1000 people in the PD as like, a sacrifice, then he'll get a wish and he'll ask for eternal life or whatever. this gang is a cult and he's tricked everyone saying that they'll also get a long life but really it's probably only gonna be him 🤫 So they go around to different haunted places in America and pick ppl they sense can open these shadow rifts and get sucked in. the phantoms may be ppl they trapped in the past and they've turned into phantoms

-Ryan, the guy who's spying on the kids, maybe is ALSO "Mr. thomas". he just puts on a wig and is a good actor lol. this is the reason why he asks about "Mr. Thomas's" fate. What goes against this is that Ryan seems to know all about the PD mechanisms, which doesn't fit Mr. Thomas being confused abt ashlyns hair. Unless he wasn't expecting it

– or "Mr thomas" could just be Ryan's friend or brother or smn. A low ranked guy in the gang that got stuck with roping Ashlyn into Savannah, but doesn't know the truth/details about the PD. 

-the gang mentions that "both sides" are trying to track them. either the government and a supernatural hunting group, or even some force in the PD like some Alpha Phantom like the devil who's like "Where's my dead people quota hello?" or better yet "you're messing with MY domain and I'm gonna Get You". 

-This is based solely on the Boss' appearance and smiling countenance: the gang Boss is Aiden's uncle, his dad's brother, his weird, estranged brother who's also evil probably. I'm really hung on this idea don't mind me 

-you have to be able to make a paper origami crane from memory to be an official gang member /hj 

NUMBER FIVE: Gen story/Character arcs and futures

-ready for a “power of love and friendship” aesop. these kids are gonna be so Bonded now after these traumatic experiences

-i had come up with an elaborate “death order” but thats now completely jossed now so im ignoring that

-PRAISING THE FREAKING LORD THAT ALL THE PARENTS KNOW NOWAND THAT MIKE BELIEVES THEM AND IS HELPING HIS DAUGHTER. DAD OF THE YEAR AWARD. IF ANYTHING AHPPENS TO HIM IM SUEING!!!!!

- SO NOW that all the parents know, and like, have seen all the phantoms and everything and BTW WILL PROBABLY GET SUCKED INTO THE PD AT SOME POINT because they felt the shift like the kids did, they help the kids get to Savannah yippee!! a cool Big family squad force they all hop on a working school bus or smn and drive there. PLs

- the families getting sucked in would be HUGE cause they arent prepared. Logan’s grandparents and Lily are top targets 😭

So the kids are gonna get kidnapped. that's definitely gonna be a thing, either mid S2 or ending. up in the air whether the kidnapping is successful or not. (assuming the gang would be smart enough to get rid of the kids’ phones when they get them)

-actually I'm placing my bets now S2 finale will be them getting kidnapped and it just cuts off there for another awful cliffhanger.

-since it seems Mr thomas will be involved, he'll ask the kids to stay after school to talk abt their failing grades or smn, and then maybe they're hit with knockout gas??

OR the gang has been spying on them so they pick a time the kids all separated and jump them. 

-maybe this is when aiden knowing where ashlyns dance studio is is actually plot relevant!!?? like he (and Ben probably cuz they're always together) are able to escape their attackers and Aiden goes to help ashlyn cuz he wants to make sure she's OK. and she's either fine cuz she's a girl boss and can kick butt, or he saves her oo la la 

–lol imagine kidnapping is successful, gang tells kids why they were kidnapped, (if Evil Boss Uncle theory is true this helps facilitate this) but Ashlyn "goes off" on Aiden yelling and "attacking" him and stuff saying he's part of the gang, he planned it all along etc, but it's all a ruse to have the gang think she'll cause another energy spike (and Aiden gets this and plays along) so assuming the kids are locked up, the gang opens their cell to stop ashlyn, and that's when they escape lol

so like, i THOUGHT ashlyn/aiden was gonna be a slow burn but HAHAHA. i mean not as freaking slow obviously as like Miraculous love square lol, but like slow for thriller standards? But things are gonna be heating up between these two 😏 watch ashlyn be ~conflicted~ and ~in denial~~. And meanwhile poor aiden is a confused boy who doesnt know what ash wants like “b u told me to give u space and now here u are grasping my hand like ur life depends on it” 

Sorry back to character arcs:

Ashlyn: Learn to trust and connect with people, make friends, lean on others. Could be nice if she accepts and admits the kids are her friends by the end of S2, leaving the next season for Aiden/Ashlyn dev specifically? More development about her connection with the PD, which could put friendship to the test. [already getting this with her dad and Aiden so this is great]

Also she has the freaking GUILT like i expected! Watch her think tay hates her for like a week before tay is like “no?? I hate the ppl who did this to us instead” and then they hug it out 👍

Taylor: Willing to bet money the twins are unhealthily codependent on each other. She is on the edge bro. Unhinged feral. Is probably gonna be more angry in general despite it being a bad idea, like the top has been blown off. Bottled up emotions~! 

Still thinking she’ll get close to Ben too (whether anything romantic develops on top of it is debatable, but I can see it. theyve already got a cute little closeness going on)..

Tyler: Get this boy some ~THERAPY~ help he’s so depressed and angry. Learn to have hope again (like ben 😭). He has so much negativity inside him, i dont think that’ll help with whatever is going on with him rn like, hes probably in the THICK of the PD influence. He’s kinda like ash, needs to learn to rely on others.

Logan: Seems to be overcoming his fragility well if the arcade scene is any indication. Still has self-worth issues to overcome due to his parents' abandonment. Maybe we'll learn more about that in S2. That could be a rumor and the real reason he lives with his grandparents is that his parents died but idk why that'd be hidden unless their death was suspicious (like, drug ring?? His gpa got the GOODS APPARENTLY). 

Ben: Still needs to find a new passion for life, i suspect playing musical instruments like the guitar will be the answer (thank you tyler). Tho maybe learning to love his altered voice could happen? (tons of dudes have a rough/husky singing voice that ppl love) But this is probably unlikely.  

Aiden: Good Lord like, Aiden being (most likely) suic.idal in the past (and possibly even still NOW?) has floored me. I figured his loneliness and suspected parental neglect was bad but IT’S BAD. Dude wants to feel alive and not depressed… frick. AIDEN ARE YOU going to therapy??? Do your parents KNOW??? Is that why your parents finally settled down?? Guh. this on top of probably untreated ADHD.

–I’m assuming now Aiden started dying his hair to try to get any fragment of serotonin. 

– Kinda wondering if he grew up in a "toxic positivity" mentality home, where his parents are like "we're so privileged we shouldn't complain" ?

– im actually THIS close to beating Aiden’s parents with a stick.

NUMBER SIX: Miscellaneous predictions, wants, musings & hypotheticals.

-guessing now that the twin’s dad had cancer or smn

-hey uh what about the photo Logan took of the phantom back at the sorrel-weed house?? surely he still has it? can he show the parents?? will they be able to see it?

-Logan saw the whole Aidlyn hug from the roof from his snipper position, change my mind.

-Another “death” will happen in S2, possibly even two deaths. (GOD I WAS RIGHT)

-Mr thomas switches sides and helps the kids, gives them info

-Ryan (the spy) switches sides and helps the kids

-the tour lady Jasmine and the Boss are a hot evil couple 

also kinda want them to have a Rourke & Helga dynamic where he throws her under the bus at the last moment and she's Bissed 

-I want the boss to die by his own evil plan. 

–i doubt a redemption arc will happen but I'd be down for it if done well.

-*grabs your shoulders until they bleed* listen. Aiden saved ashlyn, now I need her to save him. I need this. 

-Taylor and Ashlyn girl time please!!!

-Logan and Aiden becoming closer would also give me joy. big Freckle and Rocky energy. 

-this doesn't have to happen but I think it'd be really funny if Aiden somehow gets the IDEA that Logan has a crush on Ashlyn when Logan doesn't, causing a stupid silly short jealousy arc.

-actually I really need a "can skydive from 10,000 ft but can't confess to the girl he likes" Aiden Clark 

-I've got a bad feeling smn will happen to Ashlyn's parents, specifically her dad

-if any of the gang/cult members hurt the kids or their fam fr irl im gonna >8) lose it

-the Origami gang fails to kidnap the kids and they accidentally create a huge "energy spike", making phantoms appear everywhere in town.

-if the kids DO get kidnapped successfully, I want Ashlyn to be an awesome girlboss and use her knife shoes to help them escape.

-if my puppy fic became Canon that'd be swaggie actually.

-let Ashlyn have a dog 2023

-pov you're in Georgia in the fall and a hurricane hits, knocking out solar power for a few days. what then? :)

-when all this garbage is over and they hopefully all live in the end, I want them to have a fun stargazing party led by Logan cause they can finally enjoy the night (And maybe aidlyn have their first Kiss?? 🙈)

-If there ISNT a "group goes to see Ashlyn in a ballet performance" scene then I'm WRITING IT MYSELF 

-At the end of all things, Aiden and Ashlyn will become a couple, or at least have reciprocal romantic feelings. This is not just my shipper heart talking. I feel it in my brain, in my soul. 

-So we know one or both of Aiden’s parents are writers. If anyone knows if that trophy Aiden’s dad is holding in that photo is a real award, hmu

-a kid going into an angry protective phantom mode to protect another(s) 😳 (aidlyn on the brain but it could be anyone)

-if I had a nickel for every time I've imagined Aiden dying in Ashlyn's arms, I'd have many nickels (IT BASICALLY HAPPENED! GREAT! 👍😭)

-what if having a good singing voice ran in Ben's family? haha jkjk…unless??? but they don't sing like ever cuz they don't want Ben to feel bad 

-man what if an sbg kid “died” by a phantom pushing them down a set of stairs.. 

-Rlly hope that Aiden's parents don't get scared seeing phantoms in their house and hearing other families having phantoms in THEIR houses and thinking the whole town is haunted, and they consider moving which they don't wanna do bc Aiden finally has friends but what else can they do!? angst. 

-John 15:13 for Ashlyn with the others except it's not permanent (I'm not saying ash is a Jesus figure tho WHWKEJEJDJ)

-I rlly wanna see ashlyn laugh

-Taylor actually using her mechanic skills. like maybe the jeep gets damaged [HAPPENED] and she fixes it. I dont want that jeep gone bro its already iconic (update: it’s probably gone bro.. sad)

-might be nice for Logan to have a reflection moment where even though all this horrible stuff is happening some good came out of it like he's not a slave to bullies anymore 

-I want to see Ben happy. well actually I want them all happy pls

#school bus graveyard #sbg #sbg (webtoon) #sbg theories #theory doc #long post #ramblings #SM has happened already in S2..... game changer

[kaybreezy3000]

Bad Things (Five Hargreeves/Reader)

~Psychopathy is a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, the inability to distinguish between right and wrong, poor behavioral controls, and behaviors that contradict social norms which then commonly result in persistent antisocial deviance and criminal behavior.

Enter, Five Hargreeves, everyone's favorite little psycho.

(Chapters 5, 6, and 7)

-If you need to read this from the beginning hit the links below.

Link to Summary and Chapter 1 and 2

Link to Chapter 3

Link to Chapter 4

Warnings and tags: Mental disintegration, psychological trauma, effects of isolation, masturbation, non-consensual voyeurism, explicit sexual content, bondage, POV altering, touch starved, obsessive behavior, inanimate object love, and many other sexually deviant themes all mixed with a lovely twist that you will hopefully enjoy...

-this post is longer than the others. It is chapters 5-7 and this will complete this story as it is currently written. Thank you so much for reading this and for your support.

Chapter Five: Elastic Heart

(There will be a page break to make this more palatable and there will be a red page break added in chapter 4 to show the one P0V change near the end)

As Five cleans up his bathroom, he can only imagine what the girl is thinking right now, or why she did what she did and then let him go. She had no reason to want to help him. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t wrap his head around it or the fact that he’s scrubbing an astonishing amount of his own ejaculation off the sink, the counter, the faucet, and even the front of the cabinets. Even after seeing the evidence, Five still doesn’t remember abusing himself or his bathroom in such an embarrassingly demented way.

Hearing his front door click closed, Five instantly comes out with his dustpan full of broken glass in one hand, the broom in the other.

“What’d she say?” he anxiously asks, his pinched expression giving away his distress just as much as his clipped words.

Klaus comes in further and slowly sits down on the edge of Five’s bed, folding his hands in his lap as he glances at the ropes still tied to the wooden frame. His head shakes back and forth as he looks at Five, but not because he means it in a critical way. Other than a few well-deserved jaw drops as Five told him what happened, Klaus has been very understanding.

“She didn’t say anything. She wasn’t there.”

“Are you sure?” Five asks, clearly not accepting this answer.

“Well, no. I am not sure, but she didn’t answer her buzzer so she might not be there or she’s just choosing not to answer, which she has every right to do.”

Five doesn’t say anything, he just stands there, hands full, eyes darting around as he thinks.

“Someone needs to make sure she’s okay,” Five abruptly declares after a moment or two of silence.

“I know,” Klaus agrees. “But that person maybe shouldn’t be me, and it definitely shouldn’t be you. I can honestly say after what you said happened, I am also worried about her. The truth is though, she doesn’t really know you or me. I am not really surprised if she doesn’t want anything to do with this now that it’s over.”

Five knows that’s true but he looks miserable hearing it anyway.

“She may not have gone home,” Klaus adds. “You don’t know her phone number, and if she’s not going to answer the door, then this is all we can do. I am sorry. I left her a note with my number, but maybe it’s for the best to leave her be, you know…” Klaus rubs his hands together. He knows this is not the answer Five wants. “She’s probably just sleeping. You said she normally doesn’t get home from work till well after three am. On any other day, this would be when she'd be asleep, so that’s probably what she’s doing.”

“Klaus, after what I did to her, I doubt she went home and fell asleep. She’s probably scared out of her mind. She may have seemed in control and knew what she was doing, but I know what I saw and she’s not okay. She’s probably holed up over there, with my gun in her hands, just waiting for me to try to do something to her that's even more crazy than the shit I already did!”

“Sounds to me that she knew exactly what she was doing and why. She may have wanted to frighten you, but mostly she wanted to help you. If things went farther than you think she intended, then I am sure this chick is feeling a little messed up and confused about that, but she also clearly saw that despite what you did, you were worth trying to save. I think she took your gun so you didn’t do something bad to yourself, not because she thought you were going to come after her. She made it plenty clear she wasn’t scared of you when she rode you like a pony, humpity-hump dry fuck style, or when she let you go free. She also evidently didn’t call the cops and she isn’t going to if that’s what you are worried about.”

“I am worried about her, not me!” Five tries doing his deep breaths to calm down but it doesn’t help. “She is hurt, and I did that to her!” Five spats at his brother even though he’s not mad at him.

Klaus remains calmly unfazed. “She may have been upset when she left but what can we do?”

Not knowing how to reply to that, Five walks over to his kitchen, and dumps what’s left of his bathroom mirror in the garbage. Putting his cleaning stuff away, he slams the cabinet door too hard.

“Hey, just try to relax. Why don’t you just take a shower, get cleaned up and let’s get out of here? We can get some food. You can come back and rest, and if you feel like it, when you wake up, we can talk or yell about anything you want all night. We will have a nice brotherly sleep over with popcorn and…” Klaus glances around Five’s small apartment. “We won’t be able to watch romcoms, and that’s because you are a super big nerd who doesn’t’ have TV, but we can wrestle, and tickle fight, and make mystery potions out of your huge supply of fast-food seasoning packets and then we can dare each other to drink them. It will be great!”

The more Klaus says, the further Five’s brows draw together like he can’t fathom where his brother gets these bizarre ideas.

“Even if I had a TV, I would not watch romantic comedies, and we do not need to have a sleepover.”

“Okay. Maybe you’re more of a horror, Bates Motel, put the lotion in the basket, chainsaws, and skin suits kind of guy. I get that, and it totally makes sense all things considered, but it’s long overdue for us to have some bonding time. That giant ball of twine thing was great, but I know we can do way better than that.”

Now Five’s jaw is really working as he stands there leering at Klaus. “I know that I am horrible but are you seriously comparing me to Norman Bates, Buffalo Bill, and Leatherface?”

Klaus cocks his head, smiling innocently. “I’m just joking, bro. Of course, I don’t think you are the creepy Ed Gein, making lamps out of body parts kind of psycho. You’re the charming, get forcefully genetically altered, and manipulated into murdering for the time police, obsess and jerk it over your cute neighbor, and accidentally abduct her and then seduce her with your adorable broken-hearted handsomeness, kind of everyday lunatic.”

“That is not what happened.”

“Well, it kind of sounds like it to me.”

“I didn’t seduce her, I mean.”

Klaus just shrugs as he keeps smiling at Five. “Yeah, it sounds like you did. Chicks don’t just frot up on your hot rod to help you get off for no reason. By the sounds of it, she had already put you in your place at that point, and doing that, and getting as into it as much you did means it was something else entirely.”

Five stops fidgeting with his cuffs long enough to point an angry finger at his chest. “It means that she took pity on me because I am just that appallingly pitiful.”

Klaus leans forward, his hands palm out in a calming gesture. “Five, no. It doesn’t mean that. Not from the way you said it happened. She did that of her own free will, and if she’s not okay with it, there is nothing we can do about it.”

Five throws his hands back through his tangled hair as he begins to pace. “I know I can’t do shit about it. I can’t do anything right! Ever!”

Seeing that his brother isn’t taking this well, Klaus takes a different approach.

“That is also not true. You are being too hard on yourself.”

“Sure,” Five animatedly barks as he flails his arms around before stopping to stare at the girl’s empty dish sitting on top of his books.”

Klaus’s eyes follow Five’s as he says, “Look at this way. Several very good things came out of what happened, but the most important is that you are willing to get help. My buddy John is all set up to meet with you on Monday and we just need to get through till then. I need to know that you are okay, and I don’t want to leave until I know you’ve had the chance to talk with someone better than me about all this.”

With a heavy sigh, Five picks up the dirty plate and looks up at his brother who is cautiously watching him still like he’s a bomb about to explode.

“Klaus, I am not going to run, and I am doing anything reckless. I already did that. I know I am beyond fucking nuts, but I get that loud and clear now. There is seriously very little left that I can do at this point that would be worse than what I have already done.”

Five can’t help it when his attention goes back to his window as he tries again to see signs of life next door but he gets nothing other than the dark behind her curtains.

“I appreciate the offer, but you can go. I will be fine. No skin suit making or anything else weird going on over here from now on,” Five distractedly promises.

“I know you will be fine. You can get through anything, but I am not leaving you to do it alone this time, not unless you make me. But be prepared if you want to have a tussle about it, I am not as wimpy as I look. I am not going down easy and I am not holding back when I unleash the biggest can of whoop ass you’ve ever seen.”

Five looks back, his mouth drawn in a hardline before he speaks. “Klaus, I know that if you set your mind to it, you can be quite the force to reckon with, but as much as you are irritating me, and how fun it would be to make you eat your words, I am not fighting with you. So, stop asking for it with all this Normal Bates comparison shit. Just get it through that big curly-haired head of yours, I don’t need a babysitter. I won’t do anything bad.”

Five glances out the window again.

Klaus leans back on Five’s bed, stretching his long legs out as he makes himself more comfortable. “I know you won’t do anything when it comes to her other than sit over here and worry and feel awful, but last night you proved that you do need a babysitter till you talk to someone professional. It’s not good to sit here alone and wallow in your dark thoughts and I know you are having them and can’t help it.”

Five silently concedes to that one, again, his eyes moving to the windows like he’s drawn to them like a magnet.

“You can’t keep looking over there, man. No matter what your intentions are, it’s not healthy. That’s how all this started. We can go stay at my friend’s place if that would help. I know he won’t mind another good-looking Hargreeves hanging around.”

“I know I can’t keep doing this, but there’s no way I am going to your fuck friend’s place with you. That is not a long-term option. I should just move and what is in my brain that makes me this way is permeant, no professional can change what I have become. This is all a waste of your time. You should just run and don't look back. I am a monster, but I swear I won't hurt anyone else. I just won't leave the house any more,” Five mumbles as he clears the small distance between him and the kitchen.

He drops the plate in his sink then moves to the window, abruptly throwing the blinds down. The move blocks out all natural light other than the bright beams shooting in from the edges of the brittle vinyl pull downs.

“Uh-oh!” Klaus laughs as he swiftly throws himself out of Five’s bed and starts staggering towards him in the dark, arms stretched like he’s blind.

“What the hell are you doing?” Five questions as he watches his brother coming for him.

“I am scared of the dark, remember,” Klaus giggles. “And, hiding in your house or moving are options, but they won’t help silence the lambs unless you deal with them.” Klaus trips over Five’s dress shoes but isn’t deterred as he lunges for him. “Help, Fivey! I can hear them crying! Hold me and we can make them stop together!”

Five dodges Klaus’s ambush, flipping on the switch to the corroded brass chandelier above his table. In the yellow light beaming down on him in his exceptionally disheveled state with his vest still hanging open and the rest of his expensive dress clothes bloodied and rumbled, Five looks every bit the part of the psycho.

He purposefully cocks his chin at Klaus as the corners of his mouth turn up in a very menacing looking smile.

“Be careful, Clarice,” he smoothly warns. Klaus’s big blue eyes grow even wider as Five slowly steps closer. “They once sent a census taker to my door, and he dared to test me just like you are doing, so I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

Klaus bursts out laughing. “Do you have some fava beans and chianti? We can totally add that to our sleepover snacks. You can have the beans and I’ll have all the chianti since you are never ever drinking again. And just for fun I’ll even tie you to your bed and force feed you if you really want to get freaky like you like!”

Five glares at him. “You are really going to make me regret telling you everything she did to me, aren’t you.”

“Hey, you are the intelligent psycho Hannibal Lecter kind of guy minus the cannibalism, and having these delightful tie downs all ready to go are too fun to waste. You obviously like being dominated, and I am more than willing to tie you up and take advantage of you by sticking straws up your nose, and putting makeup on you so you look even more cute when you’re screaming at me to let you go.”

“No thanks, I think I’m good with just the simple brotherly popcorn picnic and sauce packet challenge. No tie down domination needed. My unintended captive proved to be an extremely competent master of mind and body fucks, so I think I got that out of my system for a little while.”

“See,” Klaus says with a boisterous laugh as he comes over to Five and puts an arm around his shoulder. “You are capable of being funny. I told Diego you were. Now, go wash off your wickedly debauched and somewhat less virginal dickie pickle. I am not running from you, you scary little bastard, and you are stuck with me till Monday. I am not taking no for an answer, so off with you boy!” Klaus theatrically commands while giving Five a swift slap on the ass.

To add to Klaus’s amusement, instead of getting mad about it, Five obediently takes off to the bathroom without any of his normal back talk.

Hearing the sound of the shower, Klaus flops down on Five’s bed chuckling. “Submissive little Fivey…. Who knew?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After showering, Five comes out with a towel around his waist, yanks open a dresser drawer pulling out whatever is on top.

“Holy shit,” Klaus gasps as he sets down Five’s book on theoretical physics that he had been looking at upside down. “I had no idea you had any non-dress clothes. You look really nice in casual gear.”

“No, I don’t,” Five says, then sits down on his bed next to him wearing black sweats and a matching hoodie as he begins putting on a very normal looking pair of black running shoes.

“Sure, you do,” Klaus pauses, then smirks, “you look like any other super hungover young dude that just rolled out of bed mid-day on a Saturday.”

“Great,” Five dryly responds, eyeing him from under the fringe of damp hair hanging over his face.

“You want to try that breakfast place I was telling you about? I have like-” Klaus begins digging around in the front of his stretch pants because he has no pockets. “Oh yeah,” he laughs as he readjusts is dick, “I blew my wad and most of my funds last night clubbing. I have like ten dollars, but I’ll buy you a donut or two and another coffee?”

“I think having zero social life and living in a shit hole affords me enough extra cash to buy you breakfast,” Five says, standing up to show Klaus he is ready to go. Five offers his hand. “Come on, I owe you, but I also need to ask you to help me with something else other than making sure I don’t go off the deep end all alone over here in my fucked-up fantasy world of fake relationships.”

Klaus reaches for Five but when he does Five pulls away and smirks.

“You little shit heel,” Klaus laughs.

“Yup,” Five agrees as Klaus quickly rolls himself out of bed.

“What do you need help with?”

Five suddenly looks down at the floor, his face looking resigned yet somehow also completely miserable, much like it did when Klaus got here.

“I know I have done some very dumb shit and I have no right to ask anything of you, but I don’t know if I can do this alone,” he quietly explains, all play gone again.

“Whatever you want, Five. I am all in, you know that.”

“I know, but you shouldn’t be,” Five replies, followed by a deep breath and a light mist to his eyes.

Five tries to push aside the overwhelming sorrow that has been threatening to take him down all morning, but he can’t even begin to at this point. He looks back up, determinedly meeting his brother’s even more concerned eyes, hating that he’s the reason Klaus looks this way when he’s much older and he should be taking care of him, not the other way around.

Five lets out another heavy breath, pulling his hands from his pockets and bringing them down to his sides for a second before he anxiously changes his mind and shoves them back inside his pants pockets, hiding them away again.

“I need to bring Dolores back where she belongs.”

“Are you sure?” Klaus asks, searching Five’s face even though right now it’s turned towards his mannequin. Even if Five doesn’t want to give her up, Klaus knows that his mind is giving him no other choice but to see that she finally left him, and even sadder, from the way Five sees it, it’s not on good terms.

“It’s time, and it probably was long before this only I was too fucked up to see it,” Five insists though he sounds anything but sure. “I just don’t know if I can get her there and inside without your help.”

Five tries to smile when he looks back at Klaus but the skewed look of it only makes his brother know just how extreme his pain is.

“I am here for whatever you want, little bro. We got this,” he assures.

“Yeah, well… Being unable to teleport is a real bitch when it comes to breaking and entering, so it’s going to have to be done while they are open. I figured you could help me come up with something interesting to get her inside without me getting myself arrested and having my pathetic face getting plastered all over the local news with the caption, world’s biggest pervert, busted for stealing and then bringing back his fuck mannequin.”

“Five, you are an adorably committed perv, but you are not pathetic, and Dolores was much more than that to you and we all know it and we understand why. I am so sorry this is happening to you, man.”

“I know you tolerate my delusions, and I really appreciate it.” Five’s eyes gloss over even more. “She’s gone, and I-” Five can’t even finish, his chin lowers again.

When Klaus moves to give him a hug, Five reactively tenses up and starts to back away, but as his brother’s arms wrap around him anyway and the façade of self-control that he has been trying so hard to hold together this morning completely crumbles.

“I hate this. I don’t know how you can forgive me, but thank you for not hating me.” Five’s entire body shudders as his head falls weakly against Klaus’s shoulder.

“Five, you are so unbelievably smart, but you are also so stupid for thinking that I or any one of our fucked-up siblings could ever hate you. We are all really dumb and act like self-self-centered jerks most of the time, but I love you and they do too. Whatever you need, I am here. I am so sorry I wasn’t here for you sooner,” Klaus soothes, rubbing Five’s back, not letting him go even though he tries to pull away from him again.

“It’s not your fault. It’s all mine,” Five shakily breathes as he lets himself drop into his brother, partly because he wants to, and partly because Klaus isn’t giving him a choice to do otherwise.

“Not true. We all screwed up big time, buddy. None of this crazy shit is your fault. You have to stop thinking that. You messed up when it came to this chick, but you are not broken, and you are not bad. It’s not too late to make this right. We can fix this. You deserve a chance at happiness, and I promise we aren’t stopping till you find it.”

“I love you so much,” Five quietly sobs with his own trembling hand on Klaus’s arm that's clinging to him, holding him up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Klaus makes good on his promise not to leave Five, and by Sunday night, they have their stolen mall maintenance uniforms on and are walking down the street with garbage bags slung over their shoulders.

“I am so glad we are getting to hang out so much,” Klaus cheerfully exclaims as he prances along the sidewalk sipping his smoothie.

Five glances at him. “Yeah, who knew it would be so fun lugging around pieces of my plastic girlfriend while we are dressed like the Mario brothers.”  

“Hey, man! We do look like Mario and Luigi! But...they were plumbers. We are janitors. That’s way cooler,” Klaus corrects.

Five smirks. “I hate to inform you, but you have that mixed up. Plumbers are much higher ranked on the ladder of shit related duties. Janitors are pretty much as low as you can go.”

“I think you are wrong, but we can pretend to be plumbers and then this cool adventure can sort of make up for Dad never giving in and buying us a Nintendo. It is like we are about to storm King Kuppa’s castle and save the princess, only the opposite, because we are returning your lovely peaches Dolores.”

Trying to understand how his brother thinks but coming up with nothing other than he secretly likes it even if it is nuts, Five slows his pace, stopping short of the back door that they already staked out the day prior on their way back from breakfast.

Using the extremely complicated old stick your foot in the door method, Five and Klaus easily slip inside after someone leaves. Seeing the coast is clear; they start making their way through the damp service corridor to the secondhand store where Five originally found Dolores back during the apocalypse, and then again because he fell into another living nightmare when he realized that he was so far gone that he couldn't live a normal life in a normal world.

Getting to the correct shop’s back entrance takes a while because they have no idea where they are going, but the brothers eventually find it. Unfortunately, the door is locked but they expected that.

Stepping a few feet away, Klaus looks at his drink. “You were lovely and delicious, but goodbye my love…”

Klaus’s smoothie hits the floor, splattering all over the cement and up the wall. He reaches into his bag and hands Five one of the two pink scrub brushes, and they set about their plan of making it look like they are cleaning up the gooey mess he just made.

“It would be cool if we had tails and we were flying around or shooting fireballs while we took out evil turtles, but this is nice too,” Klaus says as he starts bobbing his head around and he sings. “Mop mop mop, all day long. Mop mop mop while I sing my song.”

Five is glad his hair is obscuring his face because there’s no way he can hide his smile and because Klaus needs no more encouragement when it comes to turning everything into a goof fest.

After a minute or two, Klaus begins spraying Five with his squirt bottle filled with water, even getting him in ear several times.

“It’s really too bad I can’t kill you since you can’t still fart yourself back into existence a few minutes later.” Five does his best to sound mad, but when Klaus gets him again, he shakes from the small huffs of laughter he’s been trying to hold in.

“I am really enjoying watching you try and fail to resist my charms,” Klaus teases.

Just as he sprays Five again and gets him right in the face, the back door of the secondhand store opens, and a tired looking woman comes out the back, lugging a large bag of garbage. Klaus and Five quickly turn their faces to the floor again as they silently go about their janitorial duties, but the woman stops right behind them, dropping the garbage next to the two bags containing the disassembled parts of Dolores.

“Here you go boys. Make yourselves useful and take this one out with all that other smelly shit you got there.” After saying that, the woman stomps back to the store, flinging the door wide.

“Quick, catch it!” Five hisses even as Klaus makes a mad dash to stick his scrubby wand in just before the latch catches.

“And that is why I am the magnificent leader of this very important quest. I have all the mad sneaky skills,” Klaus proudly states, grinning at Five with a bow as he comes towards him with water still dripping down his face.

“You are also a total pest, you dipshit.”

“Love you to,” Klaus replies.

Lugging the love of his life on his back, Five rolls his eyes but does so while offering a small but very heartfelt smile as he slips past him inside the back room of the clothing store.

He and Klaus crouch down behind a set of tall shelves and quickly reassemble Dolores and set her straight in her favorite sequined outfit. Then, even though Klaus is right there watching him do it, Five folds himself around her for the briefest moment before softly kissing her lips one last time.

“I am so sorry it ended like this. You will always be my heart,” he quietly whispers, with his face pressed against hers as he brushes his fingers down her back.

Klaus suddenly yanks on the back of Five’s overhauls, because that bitchy woman with the garbage just came in the back room again.

To Five’s shock, when he turns around to take off after Klaus, he hears Dolores’s loving voice calling out to him in his mind, vowing that she will always love him too.

With fresh tears blurring his vision, Five and Klaus sprint down the cold smelly hallway that heads out to the garbage dumpsters where they came in, but he does so with a much less heavy heart than when he started the day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Monday comes, though Five is understandably reluctant, he pushes past his anxiety and goes with Klaus to meet his therapist friend. As expected, it starts off rough, but just like Klaus promised him, Five quickly finds a willing and competent ear in the ex-soldier turned psychiatrist.

As the week goes on, Five visits the doctor and sets up regular scheduled appointments with him. He goes to work just like he always does and comes home at night to his small apartment. Five never opens his blinds but he never stops thinking about the girl and wondering if she is home and if she is okay.

Peeking out his window for even a second would be invading her privacy, and to Five, it would feel like he was violating her all over again, so he refuses to do it. Unable to stop himself, Five does glance up before entering his building, but he never sees her lights on, and her curtains never seem to change position from how she left them open that last night. By two weeks in, he becomes convinced that she moved out and he missed it while he was at work.

It makes him so angry that it came to this, but he can’t blame her for wanting to get as far away from him as possible. Since she is gone, Five stops searching for a different crap-hole apartment he can afford because there is no reason to anymore.

As Five’s therapy sessions continue, he opens himself up more and more about his long and varied catalog of traumas, but the topic of the girl and what he did to her doesn’t come up till week three. Like all the other unbelievable things Five has had to spill about his life, his doctor takes the news of his accidental voyeurism and extreme mental break in stride.

Five assures him that he has not partaken in that perverse behavior since that night, but hearing that it happened, and what this mysterious girl did to Five after it sets off a whole new list of treatment goals when it comes to the ones already prescribed as a part of his already long and extensive healing plan.

Adding to the daunting task of undoing his ingrained negative thought patterns and avoiding situations that might increase their chances, Five is given the added goal of finding new outlets to manage his arousal other than pleasuring himself privately.

With extreme embarrassment, Five tries to explain that he is fine with the way things are and why dating isn’t an option for him, but his psychiatrist wasn’t having it and tasks him with getting out socially and talking to women as a jumping off point. Five assures him that talking to women isn’t the problem, it's actually having them know who he really is, but that just gets the doctor enlisting Klaus to see to it that Five gets out and mingles.

This leads to Friday, exactly four weeks after Five took the girl.

Sitting jammed in tight with his legs getting repeatedly bonked by strangers, Five feels particularly annoyed with being forced to go out. Trying to ignore that he doesn’t want to be here, he picks up his tumbler and slowly nurses his club soda as he glances at his watch.

The entire night has been a list of humiliating fails as he attempted to strike up significant conversations with any woman that sits next to him long enough to not immediately grab their drink and move off to someone less unfriendly.

“What’s the problem with that one?” Klaus asks as he slides into the recently vacated seat that a tall busty redhead dressed in a gaudy tube top just got up from.

Five’s mouth pulls to the side as he swirls his bubbly water. “I guess she’s not interested in dickheads that don’t care to talk about her newly shellacked sparkly nails.”

Klaus frowns. “You have to play the game to get some game, man.”

“I don’t want that kind of game and she didn’t want mine.”

“You don’t know that because you don’t give anyone a chance to see how wonderful you really are. You don’t have to like any of these chicks enough to marry them. You just need to find them attractive enough to bring them home and show them some of your magical pickle tickle action. Like your Doc said at the meeting I got to sit in on last week, just like your murderous tendencies are really a part of you flexing your long-ingrained need for control because so often in life you have had none, he's also right in that you need to pop that old man cherry of yours to move past the idea that you're never going to be loved by anyone like that.”

“Please stop talking about my old man cherry and referring to my dick as a pickle.” Five pushes his drink away. “I am leaving,” he grumbles as he stands up.

“Hey, don’t give up. This is part of your process,” Klaus pushes. “You can’t move on if you don’t open yourself up to other people outside your comfort zone. I am very cool but hanging out with me and only me isn’t what your doctor meant by socializing.”

Diego comes up behind Five, aggressively messing up his perfectly coiffed hair. “Five, stop being a grumpy little shit.”

“You guys seriously need to fuck off!” Five snaps as he tries to straighten his dark head of hair back the way it was. “I am fine with my fancy new plastic toys and I also hangout with this other moron, so I’d say I vastly broadened my inner circle,” Five finishes, shouldering Diego out of his way while giving him one of his beaming saccharin smiles.

Before Klaus can stall Five, he gets pulled away by one of the guys that he had been dancing with before coming over.

Seeing that it’s his turn to rally around their brother, Diego steps up to the plate. “Five, I hate to break it to you, but that new flesh light Klaus got you doesn’t count as a girlfriend, or as mingling and that’s even if you like to talk to it really nice while you jerk off.”

“It counts as my girlfriend if I say it does,” Five disagrees.

“Really, dude? Is it really time to go home and eat your old man peanuts with a nightly bowl of butterscotch ice cream while you watch porn on your phone and whack it out in your tube socks?”

“It’s midnight,” Five informs him. “I have fulfilled my weekly social obligations.”

“Okay,” Diego laughs, “but there’s been a hot chick over on the other side of the bar eyeballing you for the last half hour. You maybe would have noticed if you weren’t so fixated on your ice cubes.”

“Whatever,” Five yells over the music, pushing past him.

“Really, I am not kidding. She was checking you out,” Diego insists but Five isn’t listening so he follows him, determined to find a way to make him stay or simple not go home alone and sulk. "Hey! If you really want to go, I'll come with you. We can go downtown, pick some fights, and you can help me figure out what this shit is going on down at dad's evil headquarters. It looks like he is adding more floors to his tower of doom. That asshole is up to something bad, I just know it."

All Diego gets for that idea is a loudly grumbled, "I don't care!"

As Five heads out through the rowdy crowd, Klaus comes running up blocking his path. Not watching because he’s looking back at the bar trying to find the girl he’s talking about, Diego runs right into Five’s back, dumping his drink down the back of his suit jacket.

Five turns around ready to flip out on Diego, but Klaus aggressively spins him back by the elbow before he can. “God damn you guys!” Five yells. “I hate coming out to these kinds of places and what’s even worse is when we get here, you two always seem to find every imaginable way to piss me off even more.”

“Five, I just saw her!” Klaus shrieks over the loud music as he excitedly pounces around, eyes darting around the club.

“Who?” Five asks, as he angrily shrugs off his wet coat.

“Ahhhh…” Klaus looks at Diego, thinking how to say this because even though he has been a part of pushing Five to go out and he knows about the therapy sessions, he doesn’t know that something bad happened that initially prompted it. “It was that one girl, you know the cute freaky one that used to be your neighbor…” he says, eyes deliberately bugging out.

Five spins around looking through the throngs of people, but he doesn’t see her.

He looks back at Klaus. “Are you sure?”

“Wait, what cute freaky neighbor?” Diego demands.

“It was her. She was wearing a pretty little dress with cherries printed all over it,” Klaus replies.

“The hot chick at the bar was wearing a dress like that,” Diego says, clearly pondering if this could be the same girl.

Spinning on his heel as he looks for her again, Five impatiently asks, “Which way did she go?” He can’t help cursing under his breath because he’s so frustrated that he didn’t see her, and she was right in front of him.

“She was over by the-"

Before Klaus can finish his thought, all three Hargreeves brothers stop dead in their search because the girl is prowling towards them in her red kitten heels.

She winks at Five. “Hello, sunshine. Looks like other than being a little wet and bored out of your mind, you seem to be doing much better than the last time I saw you. I am glad to see it,” she says, as she gazes up at Five’s very flushed, slack jawed face.

“Ahhh…Yeah?” he stammers, not sure what to say to that, and also clearly unable to grasp that the girl he thought hated him, and that he’d been worried about for weeks, is standing right in front of him willingly speaking to him, and she seems fond of calling him of all people the nickname sunshine.

“Mind walking me home if you are heading out? This city is so dangerous, especially our neighborhood. You know, with all those pervy weirdos living around there,” she laughs.

Five swallows several times. “You want me to walk you home?” he asks, thumb pointed at his chest in confusion.

“Yes.”

Still looking totally thrown he glances at Klaus for help but gets nothing, so he looks back to the girl. “I thought you moved.”

“No, why would you think that?

“Ah, well… Because you- Uhm….”  

Her smile gets bigger, and she comes just a little closer. “Have you been spying on me?”

“No!” Five squeaks and that makes the girl’s smile even brighter.

“I am teasing you. You look like you are about to have a heart attack. Please don’t,” she says, laughing at him.

Suddenly realizing how tense he must look, Five instantly tries to shake it off, but his awkward shifting and fidgeting only makes the girl giggle at him even more.

Five lets out a shaky breath, his doleful eyes glued to hers. “I thought you hated me.”

“No. I do not hate you. I have had a lot to think about since our last date, but hate is not something I feel about you or how that turned out.”

“Oh,” Five breaths relieved but confused still.

Her cool calculating eyes flick from Five’s to Klaus, her smile unwavering. “Hi, Klaus.”

“Hi,” Klaus giggles, unable to hold in his amusement over this very interesting exchange.

“You look so different without one-hundred straws stuck up your nose. I almost didn’t recognize you when I passed you a few minutes ago.”

Just as Diego is about to say something that’s probably going to be dumb and also make Five even more uncomfortable, Klaus throws his hand over his mouth. “We better get back to ah… Yeah.” He points to the dance floor, nodding at Five as he drags Diego along with him.

Diego twists Klaus' arm around to make him let go but it obviously doesn't hurt because Klaus just laughs about it. “Hold up. What’s she-"

“Nope,” Klaus snaps, slapping his hand back over Diego’s mouth, yanking him by his leather utility vest he can’t seem to give up. “This is one of Five’s solo missions, man.” Klaus gives Five a very silly smile. “You have successfully let go of the dark side, but much to learn you still have, young Padawan. Go now. May the force be with you.”

Five looks even more flustered by him saying that and by their abandonment than he was by their overbearing presence. His eyes dart back and forth from his retreating brothers to the petite woman standing there grinning at him in a cute but also very mischievous way that’s doing nothing to calm his haywire nerves.

When he realizes her hand is reaching for his, Five’s head jerks down, eyes wide with shock, but he doesn’t pull away. Her fingers lace between his and Five lets her pull him through the crowd.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside, the city streets are damp from the earlier rain. The girl tows Five along, slowing only when they are far enough away from the doors of the club so that they aren’t being bombarded by the loud music flowing out.

She uses Five’s hand in hers to maneuver him to a stop just inside the entrance to the adjacent alley. He opens his mouth, not sure what’s happening but sure that now that they are alone, he’s going to say all the things he has wanted to say since the moment he last saw her.

“I am so sorr-"

The girl’s warm lips press against Five’s, preventing him from trying to apologize. Her small body moves flush with his as her hands come up around Five’s neck, her fingers brushing gently through his soft strands of dark hair. Five’s suit jacket slowly slips out of his hand, falling at their feet. A second later, both his hands are gingerly resting on the girl’s narrow waist.

Even though her tongue is softly massaging his and it feels so good that it’s making it feel like his head is floating high above the tall buildings around him, Five manages to break away. He pulls back, anxiously watching her eyes flutter back open.

“Your magical lips are pretty much the best thing that I have ever felt but you’re going to have to forgive me. I don’t know what’s going on. I thought that I would never see you again. I was so worried about you. I assumed you left because you were so upset by what I did.” Five quickly rattles off his line of thinking, then takes a deep breath, trying to calm down as he searches her eyes for the answers.

“I am sorry,” she says back equally nervously. “I did leave the city for a little while because I needed to clear my head and that was because of you.”

“You have every reason to hate me, and you should have had me arrested. I don’t understand this. Why are you talking to me let alone letting me kiss you again? I don’t deserve this from you of all people, but the truth is, this is all I have wanted since I watched you walk out my door, and I know that’s wrong and everything about me is crazy, but it’s been killing me not knowing what happened to you. I know you probably don't believe it, but I really do care about you.”

Her hand comes up pushing some of Five’s hair back out of his eyes and when she does, her fingers brush against his forehead. It feels so unbelievably amazing to him that he inadvertently lets out the smallest of sounds from deep in his throat. Five’s face turns towards her touch as he shuts his eyes, trying to stop the tears being brought on by the flood of emotions he’s feeling.

“Please don’t feel bad. It is not wrong to feel and want the things you do, Five. I have wanted nothing more than to kiss you again ever since you threw me for a loop and blew my mind while I was trying to blow yours.”

“You have?” Five asks, not believing it even though it just happened, and she just said it, and she’s touching him so softly that it’s the sweetest hurt he’s ever known.

The girl leans in, raising up on her toes, meeting Five’s slightly parted lips with her own in a feather light touch that lasts only a second before she pulls away again even though he moves forward with her withdrawal trying to prolong it.

Her heels drop down again, as she smiles up at Five with her own glistening eyes giving away that she’s equally overwhelmed by this.

“Five Hargreeves, I can’t stop thinking about you. At first, I was confused by it. While I was gone, I realized that I was feeling this way because I saw something in you, and it’s something most people don’t have and never will.”

She smiles in what looks like a deceptively coy manner. Then her hands slide down to Five's shoulders, holding him firm by the collar of his dress shirt in a controlling but playful way that he is more than okay with because it means he isn’t going anywhere, and neither is she.

Her grin turns all fox again proving Five right. She is trying to fuck with him.

“And… by something most people don’t have, I don’t mean that you are a genetically altered ex-assassin, who is mentally an old man but somehow physically the opposite, or that you lost your ability to travel time and teleport around like an electrified perv on superhero steroids. Mostly people don’t have all that going for them and that’s all very interesting, but that’s not it.”

She laughs and shrugs a little, her smile softens, and it looks so accepting.

“When we were together, you made me feel things I have never felt with anyone else. It hurt me to see you hurting the way you were. I wanted nothing more than to break you out of your hell. The way you look at me, the way you give every part of yourself over so honestly and completely, the way your kisses make me feel so alive… Five, you may be full of all sorts of bad things that will always haunt you, but the fact that you are still fighting to be this good person who is also so desperately handsome it should be illegal, it is truly the most real and beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

“You see me like that?”

“I do.”

“You aren’t scared of me?”

“No. I know you didn’t mean to have things go down the way they did. I know you needed help, and I am glad that you’ve been getting it.”

“How did you know I have been getting help? I mean, I know you text Klaus about it, but how do you know I have been going?”

Her smile broadens. “You aren’t the only one who can spy on people. I have had my eyes on you, and running into you tonight while you were having one of your many brotherly misadventures wasn’t a coincidence. I have been stalking you, Hargreeves,” she taunts, giving Five’s shirt a feisty tug.

“You have?”

“I have and I think you realize by now that I am not the innocent girl you thought you were falling for.” She giggles. “I am far from perfect. I know what I did to you was wrong. I never meant to take it that far. From the start, it was wrong even if I was trying to help.”

“I think you are perfect,” Five quickly blurts, his intense stare never faltering.

Five saying that makes the girl’s teasing smile weaken a little, but she doesn’t let him go.

“I assure you I am not perfect, and if you knew me, you’d see that. Even tonight, when I was watching you trying so hard to fit in but also self-sabotaging your own efforts because places like that are the last place you want to be, me being unable to stay away is not fair and that's because you are still working through so many things.”

“I don’t want you to stay away. I want to know you, the real you,” Five says, sounding so sincere. “I haven’t been able to stop wanting that.”

“I want that too, but I didn’t mean to throw myself at you like this, but you are so damn lost and dead sexy and you make me totally crazy and I couldn’t help it. My kooky brain wants to do all sorts of things with you other than help you escape that obnoxious place, but that’s me being wrong, not you. I think I have proved that you are not the only one who is badly behaved.”

She tries to move back.

Five can’t resist. His fingers latch onto her small hips preventing her from getting away from him.

“I want you more than anything. Maybe we can be wrong and badly behaved together?”

The girl looks nervous but not in a bad way and that gives Five the nerve to keep spilling what’s on his mind and also start fucking with her right back.

“Please believe me that I want to know you more than bodily, though I absolutely want to make love to you right fucking now too.” His voice comes out low and dangerous and the girl’s breath hitches as she stares into his honest eyes.

Five moves closer, stepping on his disregarded jacket as his head falls to the side while he studies her cute reactions to him. Seeing the cherry covered fabric covering her chest rising and falling quicker has his mouth pulling to the side.

“You want to do that?”

“Yes, I fucking do. I want to gently take your shoulders and guide you backwards until your back is pressed into that wall behind you. I want to let my hands run as light as possible up and down your gorgeous arms, and the entire time I will keep my mouth against yours in a soft kiss that makes you believe how much I want all of you.”

Five eases her backward, just like he said. His cautious kiss is so delicate it makes her entire body shiver.

His warm lips move away only enough to say, “From there, I am going to wrap your legs around my waist, open my pants, and slowly, gently, slide my naughty meat puppet inside you.”

She softly giggles over that, and Five holds his serious tone, but his smile widens and his eyes narrow.

He doesn’t follow through with that action. Instead, Five runs his fingers down over the tops of her exposed thighs with spider light touch calling every goose bump on her legs to attention.

When Five has her back against the cool brick wall, he leans in close like he is going to kiss her again, but then he abruptly moves to her ear.

“If you allow me to fuck you…” He moves his hands around the back of her legs, gripping her thighs tightly and pushing her hips into his, “at first it will be slow and gentle but as I go, things will be anything but. Every thrust, every touch will convey how fucking sexy I find you and I promise there will be no shortage of passion.”

The girl clears throat, looking much less the part of the sly dominatrix she has been putting on for Five. “Uhmmm, Wowza… This confidence act you have going is pretty damn good and it’s sure to drop some panties if you put it to use next time your brothers force you out with them.”

“It’s not an act, and your panties are the only ones I want to drop,” Five smarts back, full of renewed certainty of that fact over seeing her so cutely flustered over his ridiculous dirty talk.

“Really because among your many talents I have heard about, I didn’t really think that you were the ass kissing kind of guy. That’s unless you were given no other choice, like in our little situation, but that was because you were literally tied to your bed, and you were so hard you were about to come in your pants.”

“I am usually not an ass kisser, but I’d love to kiss your ass and have my way with your ass in other ways too, and maybe even vice versa. I am not opposed to trying new things, or to being punished in any way you see fit.”

“Is that so?”

“It is. You can rule me anytime. I have wanted nothing else since you had me under you pleading for your love."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

They way Five is acting and hearing him say that makes your jaw drop.

The way Five says the word love, it feels like it could make your heart stop beating. You feel faint. If not for his strong grip on your bottom you’d be swaying like a drunken sailor, and you didn’t drink any alcohol at the bar.

This insanely sexy man is proving once again to be everything you knew he was and then some.

“As much as I like your idea of using this wall as a backdrop for carrying out your clever plan, I think maybe we should take our conversation somewhere more private?”

“You like my plan?”

“Yes, Five, and even though I loved making you quiver and moan for me, I am more than willing to let you take the lead and let things go as far as you want this time. I like control but I like being controlled just as much if it’s by the right person.”

Five’s eyes never leave yours as he grins and presses his impressive hard-on between your legs. “Damn. I wish I could blink us back to my super crappy apartment.”

“Blink?”

His beautiful smile spreads in that way that makes your heart feel like it could plunk out completely.

“I mean teleport. That’s what my siblings started calling it when we were kids. It would happen in the blink of an eye, and that was very unsettling for anyone around me when I did it. The porthole manifests with an electrical charge followed by a bright flash of blue flashes of light, so calling it that made sense to my family and the word stuck,” he explains.

“I am glad you have them. Your family, I mean.”

You know that you sound like an awe-struck fool but it’s hard not to. As much as you know now about Five and the Umbrella Academy, it’s still hard to fathom all the wild  things about him that make him who he is.

“I am glad I have them too. If you hadn’t given me this chance, I never would have been able to tell them how much they mean to me, but I have now and I have you to thank for that, though sometimes I still sort of want to kill them. So, that is why I go to a shrink twice a week and probably always will. I am crazy as fuck and they all know it.” Five finishes that by laughing at his own attempt at making light of his tendency to jump straight to thoughts of murderous rage.  

You shake your head, chuckling just a little. Even trying to be mean and belittle himself, you can see the love in Five’s eyes as he thinks about them.

When you feel Five’s fingers slipping off your backside, you shiver again, but this time it’s more from the cold of his withdrawal. He swiftly bends down picking up his dirty suit coat, his dark brows furrowing as he looks at the garment.

“I would offer you this, but it’s covered in Diego’s margarita, and now I really did it because I think that’s gum stuck to it.” Five lifts the coat higher, eyeing it closer in the dim light. “Yup, that’s gum. Looks like I am going to have another expensive dry-cleaning bill, which is funny because that happened the last time that I was with you.”

Five’s smile looks positively wicked. He is all danger of the good and very bad kind and you love it.

Five is clearly trying to tease you about punching him in the nose, causing him to bleed all over his dress shirt, and then later, how you shamelessly rubbed yourself all over the protruding crotch of his pants.

Thinking about that, you immediately feel your desire for him making itself even more apparent between your legs, so you snatch up his free hand, leading him back out on the street.

“I wish you could blink us back too, but it looks like we will be walking like the rest of the boring regular humans.”

Five scrambles along behind you as fast as he can, trying to adjust himself in his pants in a way that makes his nice sized, rock-hard dick less noticeable, and he couldn’t look hotter doing it.

“Thank God, it’s only four blocks. I know it’s only ten minutes away, but I have been waiting over sixty years for a chance like this and I feel like even a minute more and I might die before we get there,” he says while excitedly sliding in at your side giving you the most adorably boyish smile.

As you and Five quickly walk the shadowy streets, he asks questions about your life in such a way that proves he wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to know you. You can’t help but laugh at him a few times over how the moment you finish telling him one thing, he fires off another question as if he’s reciting them from a list he’s been compiling in his head since he first laid eyes on you from across the alley.

As the pattern continues, Five never loses his enthusiastic momentum, and you realize he probably does have an actual list of things he’s been wanting to ask. That gets you giggling as you try to keep up with him, but he doesn’t seem to care if you laugh at him as long as you don’t stop answering his sweetly thought-out questions that comprise of everything from where you grew-up, to details about your family, the books you love, your favorite foods, if you prefer dogs or cats, and even if you favor the right or the left side of the bed when sleeping. To that curious question you tell Five, you prefer the middle since you generally sleep alone, and that response is met with what you determine is a very mischievous, but also very happy looking grin.

Together, with plenty of nervous smiles, your feet rapidly click along, mimicking the anticipation you feel, and you are sure Five feels it too. As you make your way to your destination, it’s with the mutual understanding that something very special is happening.

Chapter Six: Underneath It All

Outside your building, when Five begins to lead you towards his, you pull back.

“Come to my place.”

You don’t say it in question and that’s because you don’t feel that it is.

Even so, Five looks at you with that troubled expression traveling across his face, and it hits you again how gorgeous he is, not just his looks, but it’s more that he has a smoldering sexuality in the hint of vulnerability within his many troubled expressions.

“Are you sure?”

You can hear his doubt, and you know why it’s there. Five is still terrified of doing anything that will invade your private space after what he did, and that’s all the more reason for you to bring him inside your place to help move past it.

“Five, I am sure. I want to know you, and for you to know me the right way. What started this may have been very bad, but sometimes bad things can turn out good. I have been home for the last three weeks and I have never once shut my curtains. I wanted you to open your blinds and see me openly letting you into my life and that’s because I want you in every way.”

The cool green in Five’s eyes is so beautiful as he breathlessly brushes his lips across yours. He’s so warm and soft. You are stunned speechless by the gesture because it’s so desperate yet gentle.

“Okay.” Five’s reply falls from his lips so softly and unsure, but he doesn’t pull back when you lead him inside.

At your door, he slows his pace to a full stop, his hand pulling back on yours as his eyes move around your home taking it in for the first time from the inside not out.

Seeing that scared look on Five’s face, you immediately yank him over the threshold and throw the door closed behind him. Before the poor guy so much as has a chance to let out another one of his long nervous breaths, you are on him, your mouth covering that sexy neck of his in fevered kisses that make his breath catch sharply in his throat. If he had on one of his black ties, you’d be securing him to you with that, but griping his shirt will have to do.

All at once, Five’s hands lock down on your hips letting you know that he's not going anywhere.

“I want you to kiss me again, Five,” you hum as his head drops back and his lips part.

Another sound of desperate craving erupts from somewhere deep inside him, but after a second or two Five finds his senses again, and just as fast, his tongue is obediently pressing inside your mouth.

After expertly reacquainting himself with the motions of a deep kiss again, breathless and flushed, Five pulls his mouth off yours. “Thank you for allowing me to touch you this time. The ropes were fun but his is, fuck .”

Five’s use of the word fuck gets you every time, only making what he says hotter, and you grin at him, ready to give him whatever he wants, all things fuck included.

One of Five’s hands brushes against your breast, tentatively sliding up and down with his happy words. The next thing you know, he has the other hand moving up your skirt and his warm fingers are running along the joint between thigh and your hips, tracing a line over the thin lacy fabric.

A soft moan-like sound escapes your tightly pressed lips because you are a little surprised by him so brazenly touching you so fast being a few minutes ago he was so nervous. He may be thrown by it too based on the way he appeared to just stop breathing.

Five’s hand under your skirt suddenly moves away, flipping the flared fabric up as he retreats and even though you understand his nerves, you are slightly confused by the back-and-forth pattern of intense confidence to having almost none.

“This little dress of yours is humorously appropriate considering this is technically my first time and I have been getting shit constantly from my brother’s about being the oldest virgin on the planet.”

Five fingers puck at a conveniently placed cherry on the pattern of your dress and you let out a tiny yelp that has him looking so smug that it makes you think you may have just misread him and this confidence thing big time.

“You look unbelievably hot in this, but I need you to take this off and get on your bed as soon as possible,” he orders as he tightens both hands on your breasts and his hips pump against yours, deliberately giving you another taste of his renewed stiffness below the fabric of his black slacks.

Letting your fingers run down the front of Five’s crisp white dress shirt, causes him to shudder and it reminds you that no matter how he’s acting now, it’s easy to make him react in such an unbelievably sexy and uninhibited way. Five Hargreeves, the broken down mentally sixty some year-old virgin, is literally the sexiest old man you've ever seen and that's because he is enjoying the prime of his life all over again, and his reactions to the smallest touches are the biggest turn on ever.

As you look him dead in the eye, you reach along your side and undo the hidden clasp above your side zipper, not stopping until your dress falls at your ankles and Five is unable to hold your stare. His focus drops, moving up and down your body a few times before hungrily landing on your bare breasts.

Without a word, Five swiftly swoops you up, your legs flipping up over his arm as he brings you over to your bed and proceeds to lower you like you’re the most breakable thing he’s ever held. Just as fast though, he comes down next to you with one of his legs possessively pinning yours to the bed.

Five props himself up on one elbow, his face falling against your breasts. Looking down, all you could see is his dark hair as he abruptly covers one of your nipples with his mouth. His warm lips part over you, his tongue coming out, wetting the sensitive skin as his hand moves, running up and down your opposite side so slowly.

His lips, his tongue, his soft hair tickling you, all of it is incredible. You let out a high-pitched whining and kick out your feet, but Five tightens his hold on you making sure to keep you secured where he wants you.

When Five pulls back, his eyes are closed and there is a look of peace on his face that instantly turns pained again when he opens them.  

“I have wanted to know what that was like for so long. That was way better than I imagined it and I imagined it a lot," he admits with a small laugh that makes you want to immediately kiss him. "Things got so lonely when I was completely isolated in my windswept wasteland for forty years, but they weren’t much better after that. Dolores was my everything. She kept me from completely going insane. She was all I had. She was all I thought I’d ever have, and then you saw it, she left me too.” Five's handsome smile fades just a little as he further explains what's on his mind.

“Five, where is she?” you ask.

He lets out a long breath and his sweet smile returns, covering a deep sadness. “I took her home to be with her friends because that is where she belongs.”

Your brows furrow but you smile because he is. “Five, you didn’t need to do that. Your Dolores seemed very nice, and I don’t mind a three-way as long as it’s with someone as easy going as her.”

Five laughs and not just any laugh either, he throws his head back and laughs so hard the skin around his eyes crinkles and you can see his nice white, perfectly straight teeth.

“Though I really appreciate your offer to let me be with two lovely ladies at one time, it’s okay. I think I like the idea way too much, but I am not sure I could successfully please two women at once even if one is made of plastic and I manifest everything she thinks and feels inside my own fucked up brain.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “It was time. You helped me see that and it was a very good thing.”

As you are about to tell Five, that based on the demonstration that he gave you before he drunkenly passed out on you at his apartment, you are pretty sure he actually could successfully pleasure two real women at once, his lips crush yours again, and you can hear the soft murmur of that amazing whimpering sound coming from him again. Five’s tongue snakes into your mouth pushing for more as he kisses you, deeply, roughly, and desperately.

You kiss him back, eyes crashing closed, your hands flinging up, feeling that wonderful hair of his as they move up his neck and your tongue drives into his mouth equally aggressively. You hear that Five’s breaths are already coming quickly as begins lowering himself down over you and the warmth of his fully clothed body presses against yours like you are two magnets being pulled together and there’s no stopping it.

Once Five gets a handle on himself, swallowing down his excitement he opens his eyes again, releasing your lips. You feel his hands on the bed next to your sides tighten into clenched fists. “I want to use my fingers on you the way you did to yourself. Will you show me how to do it right?”

Even hearing Five so sweetly asking permission to do that has your legs fighting to tighten together as coils of longing burn through you. He shifts himself over you as his right hand comes around your hip, stopping on your thigh. Between what he just said and where he has his hand, it’s clear what he means. The confirmation of your small nod gets his fingers moving again.

Your mouth opens in anticipation as his fingers creep down between your legs, stroking you so lightly and carefully over our panties.

“Does this feel good?” Five asks, sounding so unsure of himself even though you know damn well that he can feel how wet you are through the almost non-existent lace.

Propping yourself up just a little on your elbows, you bring your flushed face up to his, seeing even clearer that his pupils are blown wide and dark by desire. You nod again as you bite your lip and reach down to show him how to move in a way that’s even better, but you do so by taking his hand in yours to demonstrate.

Just the look on Five’s face is enough to do you in, but a short review of your previous lesson is all he needs, and within a minute he has it under control and you are reeling in pleasure from the sheer feel of his fingers on you quickly giving you what you want. As Five’s fingers slide between your folds, your attraction to him can’t be ignored and he lets out a very sharp and pained sounded moan because of it.

“My god, you are beautiful.” He all but whispers his sweet compliment as he lightly ruts his restrained erection up against the side of your leg in time with his hand.

“Fi-ivvvve ,” you embarrassingly mumble out as his fingers move faster, “you are wearing way too much clothing for this!”

He laughs at that as your pleasure builds to an almost unbearable degree. Feeling desperate with the need to see all of him, you try reaching for him to tear his shirt off but the sexy shit wiggles further down the bed so you can’t.

“If I was naked, this would be over way too quick,” he says, still laughing. “I want to make sure I see that beautiful face of yours falling apart for me this way before it comes to that.”

His fingers slow but only for a moment before he presses them down deeper, letting the tip of one slip inside you in just the smallest amount.

“Now keep your hands to yourself or I’ll find a way to make you. Thanks to my peeping Tom perving on you, I know you keep some very nice toys in that drawer over there and I am sure there’s bound to be something in there that I can use to keep your hands busy while I enjoy myself manually down here,” he cockily warns as you begin to reach for him again.

First you try to look shocked by that, but Five’s smart-ass grin proves that was his intention, so you show him your poutiest pout instead, but it also does no good, so you obey by throwing yourself back down in the pillows, hands balled up in the blankets at your sides.

“This is fucking amazing,” Five curses as he dips in even more while his eyes remain locked on yours as he studiously watches you unraveling for him, your hips bucking each time he his knuckles push against you.

“Yessss, ahhh…FFF! Just like that,” you gasp as Five forces his two buried fingers up while inside you, then pulls them back out with a firm glide as you helplessly rock your hips up into his hand.

The smooth motion as he works into you, deeper and faster, leaves your thighs quivering and a sweet ache spreading from your toes to your scalp.

Five’s look of admiration and childlike wonder over this is enough to send your orgasm flying through you.

“Fff-ive! Aaa—na, MmmfFFF!” you incoherently cry out.

He has to feel it happening. You catch that glimmer of defiant pride in the dark depths of his unbelievably expressive eyes.

Five seems older in doing this to you and you can see his true age coming into play in his ability to just stop and focus his complex mind on what he’s seeing and feeling. As the pulsing explosion of the purest release he just caused begins to fade, his fingers pull out of you, but they don’t stop slowly making circles over your clit.

He is so quiet and contemplative that you don’t see it coming until he drops his head and begins to lick you, his damp fingers clinging to your hips to keep you still and to give his mouth room to work.

“I want to do that all day, every day,” he buzzes after a few exceptionally long and leisurely licks. Your body shudders from that alone.

“Oh my God, Five. You are…. Wow.”

Five shamelessly laps at you with his searing tongue and it is almost too much to handle, making you squirm from being over stimulated due to not being over the orgasmic bliss he just gave you.

Five only lifts his head when he feels your fingernails brushing against his scalp gently pulling him up.

“No one has ever trusted me or seen me the way you do,” he whispers and his warm breath is still so close to your skin it feels like just another one of his brilliant touches.

Five looks to the side, a wayward look in his eyes as the light from the window and the lamp in your adjacent living room space illuminates his face.

“All I want is to make you feel as good as you make me feel,” he admits, so damn softly again.

The way he says it sounds so scared, like he feels that he needs to explain what he just did and it's like he feels in the wrong for wanting that.

“Five, consider that one checked off your list because you are making me feel so far beyond good. Now take off your clothes and get up here,” you playfully demand.

After that, he springs to action faster than you’ve ever seen a man move and seeing it has you smiling because you can’t help thinking about how quick Five would be if he could still do his mysterious blinky thing. Thanks to only having on a dress shirt and fitted dress pants, though still looking hot as hell, Five has himself fully naked in ten seconds flat.

And damn…

Wow, wow, wow.

You knew that Five was all lean muscle. You’d seen it before, but like this. All out there…

Yeah.

Five is standing there, very erect dick at full attention, looking down at you looking so absorbed, like he’s so ready to do anything you tell him to do. Despite what he said he was going to do to you back while you were out on the street, now he is looking for direction of any kind and you know it’s because he’s never done this before and he’s probably also scared of pushing you too far in any way.

His face begins to melt into a look of almost childlike distress and it’s actually a very adorable look on him that’s equally sexy for some reason. This man is mentally over the age of sixty and he’s never been with a real woman. Five is such an anomaly in that he carries himself both with a cold hypnotic confidence yet also so much uncertainty and innocence that it’s hard to grasp it can all be in one beautiful yet very complicated person.

“I am such a stupid asshole. I don’t have any protection,” he says, looking so cutely flustered when he admits what’s partly troubling him.

You smile and giggle because you had thought it was more than that. “It’s okay. I am on a very reliable birth control that will take care of that for us and I haven’t been with anyone since I was last tested, and that was over a year ago. A lot of what I did and said when I tied you up was to fuck with you, but I was not lying when I said that I don't date much.”

Five smiles now too.

“Come here,” you say, seductively curling your finger at him.

Five’s weight makes the mattress sink as he moves closer, but he stops short, and it seems like he is still hesitant to make the first move now that things just got very real, so you decide for him how this is going to start.

When you lure him in for a kiss and his face meets yours, you abruptly push him over flat on his back on the bed as you hop on top straddling him. It only works because Five lets you, and giving in to your insistence, his head falls back, his dark hair spilling out on the white pillowcase, and he looks so handsome laying there under you that you could die.

You are strongly considering wrapping your mouth around his cock, and as you lick your lips thinking about it, Five bucks up just a little. Him doing that reminds you that he probably wouldn’t be able to take much of that and the real goal here is to get him laid and a blow job finish doesn’t count.

“Oh, are we doing this again?” he questions with plenty of teasing in his tone.

“We can do anything you want, I just thought you needed a little guidance there for a second.”

You reach down between your spread legs, running your hand over Five’s shaft, relishing how hard he was. Even the feeling of him this way alone, and the sight of his eyes rolling with pleasure, makes you gasp and fresh wetness spills between your legs.

You tickle your nails along his chest as you start to rub the swollen tip of his cock, gathering his drizzle of pre-cum on your finger before bringing it to your mouth, giving him a little taste.

“Mmmm,” you hum. “You taste good too, Number Five.”

“MMmffuck.”

The tiniest muffled moan from Five and you want to give him the world.

“Are you ready?” you question even though you know he is more than ready.

Five looks like he is already beside himself over that, and he never stops holding your gaze but you can tell something wrong.

“I am, but I am scared this can’t possibly be real,” he whispers on what looks like trembling lips. “So much is not real, I just trick myself into thinking it is and I have been doing it so long, I don’t know what to think anymore. Even you feel unreal because there’s no way in my mind that I can work out why you would want this with me.”

Cupping his jaw with your hand, you lean in close, touching his forehead to yours.

Five whispers your name.

Thinking about what he just said, you almost sob out his. “ Five . This. Is. Real.” You say each word in a way that you hope drills it home for him and you also rub his tip back and forth across your entrance to further prove the point. “I promise you won’t always feel this way,” you pant out in small huffs as you begin to lower your body over him.

As the heavy feeling of him begins to fill you, it’s harder and harder to keep your eyes open, but you do it because you can’t take your eyes off him.

“Oh my, Fu-uuck ,” Five groans, throwing his head back as his eyes slam closed.

Just seeing that.

Oh my God!

You let out a low helpless sounding moan of your own and that makes him writhe beneath you even more.

Careful to only undulating your hips very slowly at first, you softly shoosh him, while running your lips along his handsomely defined jaw.  

It takes Five a second or two, fists clenching at his sides, laying almost completely still again, for his eyes to open again. It’s as if he is unable to speak because he’s so overwhelmed.

Maybe he can’t?

Again, that is so fucking hot.

Since Five is property indisposed, you let your lips meet in a kiss that leaves you shaken to the cells of your being. Like before, Five may not be in control of this, but he is eliciting a primal response in you, one that is as welcoming as it is frightening in your pure need to give him anything you can.

Very slowly, you begin rocking your hips, moving back and forth.

Five’s fingers brush across your skin, tracing lines of want over your shoulders and arms.

“I love the way you touch me,” you say, gasping for air. “I don’t know how you know what to do but you do.”

“You feel so fucking good, all I want is to touch you,” he breaths as he lays there looking up at you in such an honest loving way that you know you have never seen anyone look at you like this before now.

Sitting up on him much straighter, you continued to very slowly roll against him, enjoying the feeling of him inside you but trying to take it easy on him to make this last as long as possible. You watch his eyes move from yours down to your chest, then down to wear your bodies are joined. Again, Five curses from the sight, and you feel his cock inside you simultaneously jolt, which is quite impressive considering it is being squeezed tight within your walls.

Five can’t reach you as well now so instead his hands drop, clinging to the rumbled blankets under him.

You can tell he wants to do more but he is fighting to remain as is, letting you do this to him.

Feeling empowered the more you watch him strain and try to control himself, you dig your toes into the bed looking for leverage to really fuck him. You begin thrusting your hips down on him over and over, making his cock move in and out, just at the tip, before you fuck back down on him hard again, eliciting the most glorious cry from his gaping mouth.

Five’s moans of pleasure as he struggles, and the feel of him, exquisitely inexperienced and so fucking hard inside you are enough for your own building pleasure to just about send you over the edge again.

“Oh fuck,” he cries as he suddenly sits up enough to wrap his arms around you, pulling you down with him.

You think that he just wanted you near again, but that’s when Five flips you over, your bodies not even parting as he skillfully traps you under him. His hands come down under your ass, squeezing but also trembling as he lays there with his face against your neck trying to catch his breath.

“I am sorry,” he breathes, “That was beautiful, but I just have to know what it’s like to fuck you.”

“Fuck away,” you giggle as Five starts pulling himself up on his elbows positioning himself to do just that.

Five’s face is full of color, his strong body tense as he drags his cock out, and for the first time he is one getting to be in control of this while being with someone who knows the difference. That looks like it sends him to another planet, but his otherworldly look gets even better when he slowly pushes his length back inside you. There’s no way to describe the low sounds coming from Five other than to say they are part pain and part pleasure. It’s like Five is savoring every inch of you he takes even if doing it slowly is taking every bit of control he has left.

You start kissing Five right along the hollow where his shoulder and collarbone meet. Your hands both slid down his smooth back and your fingers dig into his firm ass, urging him to take you harder.

When you lick along his neck and suck his earlobe, Five groans so lustfully, but it’s almost like he can’t take even one more thing because suddenly, his hand moves under one of your legs, lifting your bottom while sliding your entire body backwards. He does it so unexpectedly that you would have bonked into the headboard if not for him quickly putting his other arm around you, holding you till you’re settled again.

“Hang on to your headboard, this is going to get rough,” he warns.

As he’s saying that, Five positions one of your legs up over his shoulder while he latches the other around his waist, and you have to wonder how he knows how to do this and where he’s getting this idea from. Then you realize that this behavior is exactly what he would have been used to doing with Dolores because with her, he could do anything he wanted, and he was able to position her body in different ways to some extent. Just thinking of Five deviantly pretending to have sex with his Dolores in this way is making you feel even more turned on.

“Now I am going to really fuck you,” he growls as he thrusts himself full to the hilt, his hair falling in his eyes as his face contorts with pleasure.

You cry out from the sheer intensity of it as he clings to you. Sensations you don’t even comprehend begin to flood your body as he does it again and again. For someone that has never done this with a real person, Five knows what he’s doing. His cock works inside you each time with such an explosive momentum that makes your body quake. But when he pulls out, Five makes sure to buck up into you at the same time so that his member slides across the secret parts of you that make you melt.

“Five, you’re the one that’s unreal,” you moan out so frazzled sounding that it has him grinning ear to ear.

You can tell that Five’s main mode of operation is to act on pure instinct and immense need and that’s exactly how this should be. When Five lets it all out there, he’s the opposite of vacant coldness. He’s literally bursting with desire, passion, empathy, and tenderness that can make you weep.

Five’s face is suffused with a light red flush, his top teeth studding into his bottom lip. He has you filled entirely, pushing achingly through your body. You feel like you may have just died from how brutally hot he looks while fucking you.

You swear your heart stops because you can hardly breathe. The pleasure building makes you want to go limp, but he keeps your leg lifted, how he wants, as his strong hips fuck into you and you hang on for dear life.

You can feel your orgasm building blindingly inside you, but before you can let yourself go, Five swiftly moves you again, dropping your leg and aggressively pulling your body down off the pillows as he covers you. Letting go of the rungs on your headboard, your nails dig into his shoulders hard enough that he flinches. Perhaps in retaliation, Five’s mouth goes back to your breast, sucking deeply at one nipple, and with that you cry out, coming undone.

Your head flings back, mouth opened. “Oh Fuck! Five, fuck!” A hard, pulsing, orgasm shakes through you, making you cling to him.

He laughs of all things, and it is enough to make you shudder and clench around his thrusting length even more. Five is the epitome of deep, primal, carnal joy and he looks so beautiful you could cry.

Five’s hands at your sides keep you captive, impaled on his length. You press your face onto his shoulder. His flesh still working, sliding in and out of you is teasing every nerve you have far past any mental understanding. He nips and sucks at your neck, his hips slamming powerfully against yours in a rhythmic pattern that’s as simple as in and out as quick as he can. He grasps at your body in a way that is surely going to bruise, lost in passion that is all intensity and burning heat.

The pace of his furor begins to fall apart, the fiction too much for him, turning each attack into a much less coordinated effort but no less intense as his pumping hips continue to seek his first ever release inside of someone.

You know it is coming soon when Five stops his onslaught of dizzying kisses and bites, his eyes closing as he buries his face against your neck. One of his hands comes up and his fingers twist into your hair. He moans, a long low sound that sends you over the edge again.

“Five ,” you softly whimper because you are so far past crying out.

That is it. You feel him spilling. It’s so warm, and notably lengthy, like the sixty some years of waiting to do that equates to his impressive amount of cum though you know that has nothing to do with it and it seems to be his norm.

Five’s whole body shudders over and over but he remains silent other than his heavy breathing. Erratically lifting his hips with his knees pushing down on the bed, he eventually gives up trying to move. His whole body goes limp. He is covered in a sheen of sweat, panting, body reddened from heat.

Though no one is, you are sure that Five is flawless in this one beautiful moment.

Still speechless, Five nuzzles into your neck even more while he pulls himself out. You hear his breath hitch and yours does too but within a second, he’s got his softening length against your hip and he’s laying down beside you placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

“I know it makes me even more nuts to feel this way, but I want to say something so badly that I shouldn’t,” he admits so quietly you hardly hear him. Five kisses you again, his lips spreading against your skin. “I’m going to be smart for a change and just shut up.”

Thinking about what is going on in Five’s wild mind, you are pretty sure you know what he wants to say and that's because you feel it too. Taking his cue not to go there, you silently continue to brush your fingers through his hair and just let yourself look at him laying there totally happy and at peace.

With that, the slow languor that is left over from your sex drifts into something else, something so sweet and full of hope and promise.

Five eventually draws you into the hollow under his arm and his head falls against the pillows. This way you can see his face even better and what a face.

Without a word, you lean over, placing a soft kiss on his lips. Five tries to open his eyes, but his heavy lids keep drooping back down in an adorable way that makes him look like an incredibly sleepy kid who is about to fall asleep at the table in his pile of mashed potatoes.

You don’t want that wonderful look to ever fade.

Though Five Hargreeves seemed so broken at first, he clearly knows what love is and he knows how to give it. More importantly, when his walls come down, Five is willing to receive love and you are sure that you've never met someone more deserving. Hopefully this, and everything else he is doing to save himself is enough to help him see that real happiness is not something out of his reach, and that is because you want nothing more than to be a part of his happiness and his future.

Just as you are sure Five fell asleep, he whispers, “Do you want me to go?”

Your reply is simple but true. “Never.”

Chapter Seven: Epilogue

Five’s warm  fingers tighten around yours as you make your way down the busy sidewalk. 

“When I left my demeaning work cave yesterday, I never would have guessed in a million years that this is how my weekend would turn out. I am on my first real date with the most amazing woman in the world and I still can’t believe it. I am the luckiest man alive.”

Five’s smile as he expresses again how happy he is looks so handsome that it makes your heart skip a beat.

Taking you by surprise, he stops right in the middle of all the rest of the pedestrians and his hands come up in your hair, gently pulling you in for a kiss.

“There,” he laughs after finishing his sudden display of affection with one more quick and very cutely maneuvered peck. “I may need to do that every few minutes for a while until I can get it through my crazy head that this is happening and I am not imagining it.”

Your heart is racing as you gaze up at him. “You can do that anytime you want even after you realize I am not a figment of your beautiful imagination.”

Someone swears as they walk by and Five smirks. “Shall we proceed to the Argyle Library where I can give you the grand tour of all my favorite sections and maybe even whisk you to a semiprivate nook where I am going to seduce you into sharing my love of poetry while I also do my best to fuck you with my fingers dancing around up your skirt?”

Your chest rises and falls with laughter. 

So many times since you both woke up and Five ravaged you again, he’s made you laugh. You knew from his long history that he was capable of anything, but you're still shocked with how funny he is now that he’s letting himself enjoy life a little.

And damn those fingers of his. Boy do they dance when he wants them to, which reminds you that after Five’s allotted part of this fun outing, you are taking him back home and he promised that he’d actually dance with you even though he claims he hates it and doesn’t know how.

“I do not like poetry but when you put it that way, I just might after this,” you reply, trying not to sound so infatuated by him, but by the look on Five’s face, you can tell he knows that you are, and thankfully he feels exactly the same as you do otherwise you’d really be embarrassed with how fast you are falling for him.

Five is right, this is unreal. What is happening with him feels too good to be true, but some things just are this good. That is why life is worth living and you aren’t going to stop trying to give him anything you can give until he never forgets it.

“Come on, time is of the essence, my love.” Five swiftly leads you on again through the throngs of people going to and from whatever they are doing on this sunny Saturday in the city.

My love?

That’s a new one. It's sort of old fashion but also very classic and sweet. It's very him.

Five peeks at you out of the corner of his eye and you can tell he’s checking your reaction, which is full blushing and fidgeting like a silly schoolgirl in love. 

There is no need to tell him you liked it. He knows.

As you are smiling to yourself over this fast but wonderful feeling growing inside your heart, all of a sudden your hand in Five’s feels oddly very hot.

Like burning hot.

“Ow!” you shout as you instinctually pull away from the pain. “Five?”

Five crumbles to the ground, his knees hitting the pavement hard as his hands pull together clenching and shaking uncontrollably. 

“Five!” 

It’s like he can’t answer. There are what looks like blue flames erupting around his hands and his face is twisting in pure agony. His teeth are clenched so hard it looks like they might shatter as his entire body folds in on itself and spasms.

Even Five’s pale but beautiful skin is suddenly turning the most terrifying grayish hue of death.

You try to touch him and his head swings back, his neck bending back with a snap as his face looks up to the sky. His soft green eyes are now filled with the same nightmarish blue light that is beginning to spread around the rest of his body. It's like it's coming out of him.

You can’t even get close enough to touch him because the heat of the electrical storm engulfing him burns you with blistering heat. Five is clearly being hurt by what is happening but what burned you doesn't seem to be actually burning him in the same way.

You hold your injured hand to your chest, but you don’t care how bad it feels, all you want to do is help Five so you start to come at him again.

“NO!” Five screams in the most terrifying way but you don’t know if it’s at you or from what’s happening to him. You stop anyway, in part because how scared he sounds, and also because you simply can't get close enough to him to do anything. 

This entire time, the other people on the sidewalk have been steadily moving away from this unimaginable scene happening before their eyes. But when you frantically look out in search of anyone willing to help, you realize that most of them aren’t even looking at Five. 

Your eyes follow theirs upwards along the skyline filled with looming skyscrapers.

Now you see why they aren’t worried about the stranger on the street dying in front of them. 

The top of The Hargreeves International building is alight with the exact same blue fire that’s all over Five, and the flames are spreading outwards in the sky and spilling down the sides of the building at an alarming rate.

Just as you look back down at Five, the blue electricity snaps ferociously, lashing outwards. He collapses, his head smacking the cement. His mouth opens in a silent scream that matches your very real one, and then just like that, Five is gone.

“No, no, no, no, no, this can’t be happening.” You look all around, and he’s just gone. The supernatural light covering him blinked out in the matter of a second and Five disappeared with it.

Before you can even try to understand what just happened to Five and if it was his own lost power somehow coming back and doing that to him, or if it has something to do with his dad's building and what is happening in the burning sky raining down around you, everything comes to an abrupt and ominously quiet halt.

No one is moving or screaming. People are frozen mid step in their frantic attempts to run away. 

In a dazed like state of shock you lift your scorched hand, looking at your red fingers. Time and space around you are standing still but for some reason you are not a part of it. 

As if one inconceivably bad thing taking away the man you are falling in love with isn't enough, things instantly start moving again and now you are watching a wave of bursting blue light rushing towards you, sucking away everything in its path.

Again, thank you for reading this. ❤️

If you are interested in my other stories, hit the link below.

Master Post List to my Five Centric Stories and art

Link to visit me on A03

Link to my other posts on Tumblr

Special shout out to one of my friends and favorite Five fiction TUA author's. Thanks for all the kind words and reblogs!

@mangoshorthand. Hit this link to visit her Tumblr blog and checkout her amazing Five-centric series and one-shots

#umbrella academy smut #number five #the umbrella academy number five #umbrella academy five hargreeves #number 5 #number five imagine #tua five #number five hargreeves #kaybreezy-on-aO3 #kaybreezy-on-a03 #five hargreeves smut #smut with plot #smut with feelings #number five smut #number five x reader #five hargreeves x reader #number 5 x reader #five hargreeves imagine #five x reader #five x you #number five x you

[knbposting]

at this point i have no idea if it's a headcanon or if it's just canon, but kagami's 24 maji burgers has got to come from somewhere. he generally eats a lot of food, my hypothesis is that he's a growing boy, he's a teenager, and he's really tall/strong, therefore his basal metabolic rate is probably really high. add onto that all the exercise that he does

kagami also goes all-out during practise. he's always training until he's out of breath, always striving to improve himself. on top of that, he talks about going on runs sometimes too (in order to help him think things through and regulate his emotions, my sweet boy). therefore i can only imagine he's hungry all the time.

his burgers are a particularly specific demonstration of him choosing to eat that, though. walk with me here. maji's/fast food joints are pretty inexpensive and they have yummy food. he didn't have a lot of pocket money growing up so it makes sense that he'd want to go somewhere cheap. then it becomes normal. then he starts buying more to the point that he actually feels full.

i think the 24 burgers thing is a gag. first and foremost, i think it's just an exaggeration for the hahas and i agree, it's pretty funny. it makes sense that someone so huge like old kagz would want to eat that many burgers in one sitting, but let's put this thought aside for a moment and consider alternative reasons for his 24 burgers. it is 24 burgers, by the way. two dozen burgers. mental

anyway. assuming that maji's is just a mcdonald's substitute, here's the nutritional information for 1 cheeseburger:

15g protein for 300kcal isn't bad imo. he's got a decent amount of carbs in there to fuel him, and honestly the fat isn't great but he's eating at maji's he's not going there for health foods. (also kagami doesn't care about health foods, king)

my belief is that he probably read in a fitness magazine about the importance of protein and calorie intake for building muscles, and thought of maji's. i reckon he doesn't track macros or calories because he doesn't want to have to do the maths, but he knows that if he eats enough, it doesn't matter.

kagz has mentioned before that when he's with people he thinks would care, or they've been weird about it before, he will order 12 cheeseburgers. let's say that this was his first solid quantity before he ended up raising that number, the bigger he wanted to get. in 12 cheeseburgers, there's 180g of protein (3,600kcal). hell yeah, dude! that basically covers his general intake goal for protein (if he was actively tracking it, which, again, i doubt -- but let's call it a ballpark). in 24 cheeseburgers, there's 360g of protein and 7,200kcal. that is definitely too much protein to eat at once and expect any extra benefit, but he's not eating this every day so it's not so bad. and again, i have a feeling his calorie requirements are going to be super high due to all the contributing factors i mentioned before.

in conclusion, i think kagami read one thing once about having to get over 200g protein if you want to bulk up (which he has always wanted to do, he's always aimed for being big and stocky), and ran with it. 24 cheeseburgers fulfils his protein requirement so he doesn't have to do any maths, and it leaves him feeling full.

i do just want to point out that mcdonald's cheeseburgers are, according to google, about 200yen each, bringing the 24 order up to ¥4,800 (£25GBP/$31.40USD) which is not an absolutely insane cost for eating out. of course he also orders fries and a drink but he seems to prioritise his burgers so i cba to look up those numbers. he's a king ordering like one fries to 24 cheeseburgers ratio tho. no wonder he likes maji's so much if it's cheap and cheerful and completely eradicates any concern for getting enough protein. we're talking GAINZZZZ BABY

#kagami taiga #tw food #tw calories #tw eating #hcs #i really love food n nutrition im very interested in it #i am now slightly worried about the state of this one anime boy's liver but i'm sure it's fine #kagami says something in late s1 when he's running on the beach #and it's like something something he was feeling like there was too much to think about so OF COURSE he goes for a run #which is really sweet (everything he does is endearing) bc i just love to think of him as trying really hard against his hot temper #and im not going to call kagami stupid because i dont think he is - i just think he doesnt LIKE thinking things through and takes everyone #really literally at face value #add in some translation issues and the fact that he goes through life assuming that people are picking on him #and of course he's gonna be somewhat highly strung #anyway. who had this meta on their bingo card for today

[koshirulynn]

-Use me to get over him-

High school AU-Mysta Rias x reader-pt2 of 'As you wish'

In which your friendship between you and your classmate gets confusing. With your crush showing mixed signs and your classmate makes his move.

(Please do not take this seriously. This is for fun and fun only. If any streamer comes across this I apologize! Anyways please enjoy!!"

--Recap--

"I see I see, did you get their number?Hehe"

"Shit,I didn't"

"Ah it should be fine, you could always get it tomorrow yknow"

"Yknow what, I actually will"

-The next day-

Munching on your favorite meal for breakfast is the best thing that has happened to you all this week. Other than the news of what your crush had brought upon you, you still couldn't help but still like him. Human emotions were something confusing to everyone, you knew that you would find yourself eventually.

With your headphones on the table and your textbook at the side, you decided to take a small break from reading the book and look on social media. Ignoring the irrelevant people like your annoying cousins you realize that you have like 7 messages from the same person. Your science lab partner, Shu Yamino.

--

Shu.YaMinion69: Mysta has something to ask you later

Shu.YaMinion69:*insert meme*

Shu.YaMinion69:Also I need help with the science homework-

Shu.YaMinion69:BTW C/n texted me to tell you that he will meet you in the 'place where he pulled you last time'

Shu.YaMinion69:I think he is a weirdo but like he could have texted you instead of me

Shu.YaMinion69:You need to tell me about whatever he meant, we have science tomorrow so yes

Shu.YaMinion69:Look at this

Shu.YaMinion69:*insert reel*

--

Reading the texts, you found it also odd that C/n texted Shu instead of you. You follow him on nearly every social platform there is and you guys also did text before because of projects and homework. It was truly weird to you but in reality, this guy was only using you to get closer to R/n. He just didn't want to be in your dm's because he knew that R/n was the jealous type. She would accuse him of cheating even if the texts shared between the two parties were from just two weeks before they started dating. She was that delusional.

Noticing the time, you replied to Shu quickly and shoved your books in your bag. Plugging your headphones in and slid on your shoes. You began your cold morning to school. 'how enjoyable.'

--

The day was going far too normal for your liking well that was until you were pulled into the janitor's closet. 'this is definitely C/n's doings' You thought to yourself but only to be proven wrong when you heard the unique voice of Mysta Rias himself.

"Heyy um Hi Y/n" The grip on your wrist was bearable but still it was tight. You gave him a confused look before opening your mouth.

"Mysta? Why did you pull me in here-hehe I thought that you were c/n"You chuckled to yourself at the thought of your crush but remembered again about what he told you the day before.

"Well, that's kinda the- actually no. I wanted to ask you for your number" His tone set you off, he looked a bit frantic but what he was asking you was something much different. You saw a pen in the pocket of his buttoned shirt so you took it. Next thing Mysta knew, you were scribbling the digits of your number on the back of his hand.

The fox-like boy kept looking at the door but the grip on your wrist had loosened a bit."Why are you so scared?"You questioned Mysta while you finished writing the last three numbers.

"There is something I wanted to ask of you and I did?"He scratched the back of his head with his other hand. Seemingly that he was still nervous around you, you let go of his hand.

"Why so unsure? anyways I want to eat my fo-"

"WAIT! Uh I mean I saw two students making out in the classroom beside and I just don't want you to see that cause they were getting into it. All SLOPPY yeah- and it just was a stomach-churning scene hehe" It was like Mysta was lying between his teeth cause he latched onto your wrist once more.

"We've both seen Shoto and Vox get all sloppy at that one party before, I think I can take thi-" He squeezed your wrist tighter.

"Trust me, it is bad, let's just wait another 5 minutes please.."He was really begging you to not go even though he got your number. Sighing in defeat, you just gave in to him.

"Okay Mysta, you win" you smiled at him and the male student in front of you returned the favor, letting go of you once again.

There were still 15 minutes of lunch left so both you and Mysta decided that the coast was clear now. Mysta even double-checked by looking both left and right as he poked his head out of the janitor's closet.

--

As you parted ways, Mysta whipped out his phone and Dm'ed Shu.

MystariasRias: I found C/n and R/n making out in the spare, empty classroom beside the janitor's closet and Y/n was gonna walk by.

Seen

--

There were many incidents where Mysta had to pull you aside to prevent you from seeing R/n and C/n kissing, hugging, and doing couple things in the open. This was happening for the rest of the week and you questioned it after the second time Mysta did it.

You were going to the canteen/cafeteria but then you were stopped once you saw Mysta across the hall. This just made you turn to face the other side and walk the longer route.

He was speed-walking to you but you honestly didn't want to be pulled aside once more. 'Not this again' You internally groaned to yourself because you knew that you would end up being in a secluded area with Mysta and miss out on half of your lunch again.

"Y/n wait!-" you were tugged into the embrace of the fox-like boy but your eyes met with familiar ones. It was C/n but looking down, you saw R/n holding his hand, fingers interlocked.

"Oh Hi Y/n, uh we have to get going, goodbye" You were devastated, you found your own rival with your crush. Well, now ex-crush. She always takes whoever you liked in the end. 'How tiring' They were heading in the direction you came from, looking at the as they passed by. R/n looked back and waved while smiling at you then she continued to follow C/n.

Pulling into a hug, Mysta stroked your hair while you just stay there in shock. You were still processing what just had happened. Thinking that all those times, Mysta was protecting you from seeing your own crush with your rival. The person who betrayed you.

Once the information processed in, you began to tear up and cry. Your arms tightened around him, pulling you in by the waist as you let all your emotions erupt. It was comforting as it lasted, you wanted to stay in his warm embrace but he pulled you into the classroom where C/n and R/n had come from. It was where your next class was.

"Use me to get over him"

Mysta,who was hugging you. It was all friendly as you let go of all your frustrations. His hands were wrapped around you like he was protective of you. Then and there,you realised that Mysta was the one who like you for you.

In a whispered tone, the fox like male hushed you with his welcoming voice.

"as you wish"

In all honesty, this was really short and not really well made because I have been sick for the past 2 weeks . I hope you guys enjoyed it regardless <3

--Use me to get over him-pt2 done--

taglist: @yukkitosposts , @gh0stwrl , @hisanory2702

#shu yamino #fanfiction #nijisanji #nijisanjien #ike eveland #luca kaneshiro #luxiem #mysta rias #vox akuma #fanfiction writer #mysta rias x reader #high school au #◇koshi's writings◇ #♡koshirulynn

[fxshrxfmxn]

Hiya! Can you please make a headcanon about how Thaddeus, Philip, Big James, Andrew, Simon Z, and John would react to you being pregnant and then going into labor, and everything that goes with that?

Okay listen….. 👀 I did research for this. Men being present during childbirth back then wasn’t really a thing, they’d be removed from the room(not that they really had a problem with that) and absolutely not allowed to touch anything. If they did they’d be considered ritually unclean according to Jewish law.

(Joseph(the ultimate stepdad) was a real one when Mary went into labor because it was just the two of them and it was an emergency. The article I found with all of this information disagrees, but they literally stayed with the animals and laid the baby in a manger……so you believe what you want I guess.)

So normally, midwife would do the delivery, all the women folk were present if they could be to help out. We’re talking birthing chairs, as many clean cloths as possible, warm water, clean olive oil. I’ll post the link to where I got the info if someone wants it.

Also, new life is always a happy thing, so every one of these men would be happy and excited. However, I’m going to focus on the other accompanying emotions. So don’t get it twisted, they’re all happy, even if I don’t mention it.😉

I also ask you to graciously ignore inconsistencies that I have for sure made. It was such a different time back then, I don’t know which terms they had and which they didn’t.

That being said, 😤 let’s do this.

Andrew:

Anxiety city. He would literally fret over every little thing.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Do you need me to go get water? I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“You shouldn’t be on your feet so much.”

And that’s just the entirety of your pregnancy, you going into labor??? Dial that up x1000

Dude would be silently panicking, but asking you every single question he can think of.

Shaking hands, jittery and nervous and worried for you.

He’d get you to the midwife as quick as possible.

Most men are just content to stay out of the birthing part,,,, Andrew would have a heart attack.

He’d pace the entire time. Simon Peter would try to get his mind off of it(seeing as Eden would absolutely be involved with you, he’d be around anyways.)

As soon as the door opens, he’s by your side.

Holding baby would wreck him. He’d cry. He’d just be sobbing and kissing the crown of the head.

You both would cry. Him crying would cause you to cry and you’d both be a mess(obviously you’d also be exhausted, so that has a hand in it as well.) Hormones man, they do a number on ya.

Simon Peter would have to pull him away physically in order for them to do anything. He would never want to leave baby even weeks after.

Thaddeus:

He is so sweet all the time. That’s just the general vibe he gives off.

Foot rub? Fo sho. More water? You got it.

The last few days of your pregnancy, he would be right there with you. You’d both be able to tell when it was close. And he’d be stuck to your side.

When you do actually go into labor, he’d be ecstatic. So excited.

Very supportive, getting you safely to the midwives, getting you who or whatever is needed.

Then of course he’d be pushed from the room, while the women worked.

He would seem content on the outside, but he’d be a bit worried on the inside. Not pacing, but he’d for sure be bobbing his leg.

They tell him that he can see you and the baby and Nathaniel kicks him to knock him out of whatever trance he’s in.

So gentle when holding baby, he’d freeze. He’d be afraid of moving.

As soon as he could, he’d hand baby back. Not because he doesn’t want to hold baby, he’s just afraid of making a mistake.

Definitely doesn’t want to hurt baby.

You help him though, teaching him how to support the head and how not to be so stiff.

Over all, he’d be so cautious and loving.

Big James:

Hot take: James is a teddy bear. Super softy, but incredibly protective.

I feel like he’d talk to your belly when it’s just the two of you. Softy to the max.

I feel like he’d find out you were in labor from someone else tho and then like sprint to be there as soon as he could.

He wouldn’t pace, but you know that stance he takes when “protecting” Jesus? Arms crossed, feet wide, chin tilted. He’d stand like that right outside the door. He wouldn’t move, regardless of how long labor takes.

After everything is ready for the father to come see baby:

He’s so tall that when he holds baby for the first time, it’s almost funny how small baby is compared to him.

Idk how his singing voice is, but I feel like he’d try to sing baby to sleep. You’d help too. Whisper singing baby to sleep.

He’d tell baby stories. 100% he just would. He’d talk to them as much as possible.

Simon Z:

Calm and collected. A silent protector.

While training to be a zealot, he didn’t have plans to be married. Let alone raise a child.

He’d be so afraid that this wonderful thing, that is you and the family you two are starting, could be taken away at any time.

His prayer life would be healthy, I’ll tell you that much.

Beyond that: caring for you during your pregnancy and when it gets close to the end; it would be effortless for him.

You wouldn’t have to ask for anything. He’d always be watching you when he was able, so in tune to anything you might need.

He’d know when you were sore.

When you were thirsty.

(You know in cloudy with a chance of meat balls: Earl with his chest hair that tells him when stuff is happening?) yeah. I’m not saying it’s his chest hair, but yknow. 🤷🏻‍♀️

He’d know right when you go into labor without even being in the room.

Because of how he was trained, whenever labor starts, he’d be quick to get you to the midwife and then he’d keep watch.

I’m not talking about standing at the door. Way more than that.

He’d case the building. On the roof. He’d change sides.

He would know the face of every person in there with you AND who passes by.

After you’ve been cleaned and can stay awake long enough, they come to get Simon.

He is basically a sponge while the midwives are talking to him about how to hold baby and what to do while he’s holding baby.

He’s listening, but is always looking at baby.

You thought the way he protected Jesus and you were overkill,,,, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

it’s so much worse.

“Who’s holding baby?”

“They’ve had enough time holding baby.”

“Please sit down while you’re holding baby.”

“Do not touch baby until your hands are clean.”

“Baby is sleeping, be quiet.”

Any of the guys makes so much as a rustle, they are forcibly removed from the room by either the ear or the upper arm, whichever one is the easier grab at that moment.

Philip:

That episode in season 3 when they’re going 2 by 2 and he’s sitting with the kiddos. 🙃🙂🫠 y’all I melted.

He wants kids. Dude wants kids.

Ecstatic at the idea of you being pregnant and getting to raise little ones with you.

He’d do his own form of research, he’d talk to people he trusts who have kids and ask about it.

He’d ask for advice, but would weigh every bit of advice he gets.

Ultimately trusting Adonai for everything beyond his control.

Very calm when you go into labor, knows exactly what to do and where to bring you for the midwife. Will step out begrudgingly.

He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, or angry. Also the law….

The first time he holds that baby, he doesn’t want to let go.

Obviously he has to at some point, but his heart changes when he holds your little one.

He loved kids before, but it’s so much more than that now.

He would do anything for that little one and you can tell that the baby already has him wrapped around that tiny finger.

John:

Is so attentive. Would def talk Salome’s ear off about how to be there for you and she would absolutely drill that into him.

Be there. Be present until you can’t be and then be present afterwards.

He gets this excited puppy expression when you tell him you think you’re in labor. You know the one. Pure unbridled glee.

Anxious excited, not so much anxious worried.

Of course he’s concerned. Especially when the midwife kicks him out.

But more excited.

Pacing, bobbing on the balls of his feet while he waits outside.

Listen, Christ is first in all of their lives, but the second he holds that baby for the first time, his world stops.

He’s so infatuated with that little bundle of cloth and softness that he literally can’t hear anyone for a good thirty seconds.

There’s ample teasing from Big James when he meets the little one and sees that John is holding the baby instead of you.

He also won’t let anyone else hold the baby for a good chunk of time.

Slight overkill, but he’s a first time father can you blame him?

One more because I just have to:

Being a part of the ministry while being pregnant and going into labor. This one is more story based and less generic.

Everyone would be at your house because of course they would be when they’re in town, you’d love being a home-base for them.

You loved listening to Jesus talk. He could ramble about agriculture in the background and you’d find comfort in it.

This particular day when the group showed up, Jesus gave you a softer greeting compared to the others who buzzed their way in and made themselves at home.

It took you off guard for a half second before you returned it.

“How are you feeling, y/n?” He would ask. “Ready to be an eema?”

“I feel heavy. And if it means I won’t be pregnant anymore, absolutely.” You would chuckle.

“Oh yes, it’s close isn’t it?” Mary M. smiled warmly at you. “Is there anything I can do for you?” You returned the smile.

“Oh I don’t think so, everything is ready, my own eema is here to help as well. Thank you though, you’re very kind.”

Everyone would sit down and you’d make sure everyone has food and drink. When you finally sit down, someone asks for something and you go to stand up, but Mary M. Tells you to stay where you are and she gets it instead.

In the midst of Jesus talking, you have a particularly uncomfortable cramp. No, that’s an understatement, it hurts, a lot.

You grunt and everyone turns their heads to you.

“Everything all right?” Jesus asks, but when you look up he’s grinning.

“Y/n, I think your water just broke.” Mary says setting down whatever she was doing.

You look down and sure enough, it looks like you’ve wet yourself.

“Well, that’s embarrassing.” You give a half laugh before another contraction makes you double over. Then it’s go time.

Everyone is moving at once to make sure you get to where you need to be.

Mary and Ramah go with you and your eema and just before they get you out the door, a warm hand plants gently on the crown of your head. What you didn’t see was your husband hurriedly speaking to his Rabbi as chaos had begun.

He had asked for a blessing.

Labor was long and by the end, you were completely exhausted.

You slept the rest of the day.

But the next day, once you got to go home with baby, everyone was waiting. It was truly a sight to see.

The whole group is so excited to have another member of the ministry.

The most interesting part about it is the fact that when Jesus holds baby, baby instantly calms.

No matter what was wrong, as soon as he’s cradling the little one, their cries cease. Baby just lays there staring up at the messiah.

(Oh to be a tiny child looking up at your lord and savior)(I cry)

@multifandomsofficial I know this ask was you, lol I hope you enjoyed it.

#the chosen #the chosen tv series #john the beloved #Philip #Simon Z #Big James #Thaddeus #Andrew #fxshrxfmxn fanfic #fxshrxfmxn writing #fxshrxfmxn #pregnancy #childbirth #the chosen tv show #sons of thunder #the chosen headcanons #the chosen fanfic

[iamthunderhearmehowl]

BG3 AU: Circle of Decay Headcannons

AN: Okay yeah so it officially has a name now (instead of "Halsin's Daughter" I got so tired of it) and guess who requested a signed up for AO3.

I will 100% be working on this and I can't even wait for AO3 to get back to me 😭 meanwhile I'll be taking some creative writing classes to help ❤️ and will also be doing research (I'm new to DND and BG3 but I want to do this justice)

Anyways here are some more headcannons at 2:22am bc I can't sleep

So I know Halsin eventually creates a community within Moonrise Towers, he literally builds a schoolhouse as well - ny thought is there is no way he's able to take care of 9 wagons of orphans by himself. He has to have some help

So there's this older half elf named Gretta, who helps Halsin around the orphanage (is it an orphanage? He's basically adopted all of them. Idk. His house?? The children's home?)

Obviously, there are more people in the community who come and help / this community thrives on sharing skills and goods rather than money

I think Gretta and her little one would live in the towers - that way her family has a roof over their heads and Halsin has constant help

Gretta can mainly be found in the kitchen cooking meals. She just has a mother's touch ❤️

Everything she makes is amazing, baked goods are her speciality

Faeryl loves food. She never got enough of it in the underdark.

Gretta spends most of her time smacking Faeryls hands away from the pastries

The two actually get really close; she eventually teaches Faeryl how to bake

If Faeryl is gonna stay with her dad and learn his druidic ways - he's gonna make her work and do her part 🤷‍♀️

Although Halsin is an amazing father - he has trouble with Faeryl.

She's not a child but she's definitely not an adult either

Gretta does give him some parenting advice: "Those 3 girls will be a challenge, Halsin. I know how frustrating it can be - when my daughter that age, not a day went by where we weren't bickering. They think that because they've hit a certain number in age and suddenly they're an adult and know how to navigate the world. The problem with Faeryl is that - there was never a time in her life where she was able to be a child. She had to grow up as soon as she could to survive. The same goes for Arabella and Mol. I think since they've been here this is the first time they've ever allowed themselves to live care free, to play, to explore the world without it trying to murder them every step of the way. Give them time. Give them space. They'll love you all the same as much as you love them"

Gretta is the first one to notice that Faeryl keeps visiting Dammon while he's on his monthly visits in town

One day Faeryl is ill. She can't stop vomiting. The smell of certain foods trigger her.

Halsin notices that something about her smells different/ is different. He has suspicion. But he plays it safe and asks Gretta to check on her

Gretta brings her warm broth to her chambers and notices that Faeryl seems. . . Swollen. Her face, her hips, her breasts

"Faeryl, when was your last blood?" In her gentlest voice as she's brushing her hair out of her face. Gretta already knows what's happening

Faeryl starts SOBBING. She can't have this child right now. She still has her mission to do and her child would never be safe so long as her brother continues to search for her

She knows that he would rip the babe out of her, against her will. The child would be a Fey'ri - with noble drow blood /infernal blood. She's sure that her brother would dispose of her and take the child

Although in normal circumstances Halsin would be elated to have a grandchild - he finds himself in a whirlpool of emotions.

When it's time for the babe to be born I 100% think Gretta would be helping her deliver and Halsin would be there holding her hand.

Literally - the thought of him holding his new born grandchild 🥺 he doesn't care what it is

That's all I have for right now 🖤 if you want more context and info about the "Circle of Decay" AU please click the link below!

All content page -> ( link )

#bg3 #bg3 halsin #halsin #baulders gate 3 #bg3 headcanons #bg3 fanfic idea #bg3 fanfiction #bg3-headcannons #bg3 oc #bg3 ocs #bg3 dammon #bg3 mol #bg3 arabella #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #dnd #dnd character #dnd fanfiction

[astxrwar]

i care about quentin beck so much please keep telling us about your thoughts and ideas. i am so totally not normal about him, he just has so much potential!! i adored your third chapter of ties that bind, i love the way you write him and you have such a way with words. its just very well done and im so glad there’s at least one other person on this planet who thinks about him <3

AHHHH THANK U ILY we can be deranged about him together <3

rn i'm working on chapter 4 (which is already at fucking 7k! that's not even counting the like 4k+ miscellaneous stuff I already have written that will go in later chapters!!! im on such a writing bender rn it's insane)

manic brain puke (SO MUCH OF IT. SORRY!!! i have the normal amount of thoughts.jpeg) about the details below the cut if you're interested

buttt basically premise is there are a few scenes covering from like december to about march, next semester stuff, etc, some Plot Details (for once! lmao) about trying to figure out PhD stuff that will be Relevant later on and then when you have to stay late again in like. march. right before spring break when banner's off at a conference in toronto for two days you end up forgetting your apartment keys in his office so they're like. locked in there until he gets back. anyway basically all alternative plans end up not working out and you end up just going with quentin to his apartment which you both are sure (well HE is sure, you're less sure than you are Determined lmao. you are both fucking Wrong) will change things exactly Zero Percent.

(spoilers. it does actually change things a non-zero-percent. are you,,, perhaps,,, friends now??? unthinkable)

anyway my thoughts are basically 1. atp you guys finally exchange phone numbers 2. you both realize actually hooking up in somebody's apartment (either of yours) is way better than hooking up on the sly in the bio building and then 3. your hot water boiler goes out in may and you end up there AGAIN for like a WEEK and stuff changes MORE and then 4. there starts to be some light angst and like. non-platonic feelings on both ends. shit starts to get messy because you start thinking about doing your dissertation in stark's lab and quentin is like. "absolutely fucking not and no I won't explain why <3" because of course they have beef.

quentin did his postdoc under tony in this au lol. he hates him because tony fucked up a patent for something quentin invented during the postdoc and it lost him a lot of money; obviously tony is stupid fucking rich (he owns and funds an entire university! insanely rich) but quentin is Not so it like. kind of irreparably broke their relationship. tony feels Bad and that's why 1. quentin is tenured despite being technically too young and gets paid a stupid amount for academia; like at least 100k. 2. he's not required to take on undergraduate researchers in his lab (a hassle, requires lots of teaching, usually a requirement for academic research) and 3. doesn't technically have to take on PhD students either. but he does not really tell you any of this explicitly, the details kind of just come together over time, and he definitely does not say why the thought of you joining stark's lab has him being like "absolutely fucking not lmao". a big part of it is that quentin is like... aware that tony just kind of Collects smart people (like him, bruce banner, basically the entire staff + his PhD students and postdocs) and in quentin's stupid little emotionally stunted baby brain he's like "he can't have this one!!!! this one is mine,,, >:((" and does he communicate this at all? no! mans is pathologically allergic to normal emotional availability sldkfsd

so despite historically avoiding taking on PhD researchers he's like. I will let you do your work in my lab if you don't go join stark's lab. But then the issue becomes like... dude you can't be my PhD advisor, we're fucking. that's not allowed. even just fucking your PI (lab manager basically) is a massive no-no and if it got out it would bring into question the reliability of literally all of your research (the fact aside that Quentin would never lie about science for anything. even for love. fuck that shit the way that he cares about people is by absolutely tearing their work to pieces not by pretending bad science is good. literally why he bothers you all the fucking time That's How He Cares It's Incredibly Dysfunctional but i digress) but i'm imagining that it's not really explicitly outlawed in the official code of ethics because it's tony stark's university lmao. He Is A Whore i'm sure he's fucked a lot of his PhD students/postdocs/etc. (Im thinking of having quentin and tony maybe have a past history when he did his postdoc. bisexual quentin supremacy. but also because it adds another layer to the whole "i do not want you to be around him At All" because he knows that tony is functionally incapable of having normal relationships with students. it's the ways that they are very similar but also very different etc etc) basically it becomes a whole deeply emotionally fraught Mess. bruce banner agrees to still be your PhD advisor despite you not doing work in his lab which is uncommon but not unheard of, but it's still like. either you and Quentin need to Stop Fucking or you need to agree that you're never going to have a bad breakup (I say this as if it's even a mutually agreed upon relationship and not just two morons incapable of admitting they care about each other) because it would absolutely ruin both your careers. angst(TM)

I probably will not make it an unhappy ending because I hate those. I have no idea how I'm going to end it though tbh

#THANK U FOR INDULGING ME LSDLSJFJSDLFJSF #ask #ties that bind meta #THIS GOT REALLY LONG SORRY I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

[nerendus]

Okay, fuck it. Rogue Traders intro post.

Alwena Von Valancius (Iconoclast)

My first Rogue Trader, and by default, the 'canon' Rogue Trader.

She is a self-described "recovering serial killer," having spent her years on the voidship she was born to hunting and killing her fellows to "harvest" their organs. She's extremely farmercore because the other games I use her in are all farming sims. The organs mainly go to her cousin, Mianno, who runs a crime business in the system she often visits. Where do the others go? Don't worry about it.

Alwena is a "sanctioned" psyker, AKA, she was born with psychic powers but did not want to go through the trouble of sanctioning so she called upon her cousin to help her forge a new identity. Hence why her in-game portrait looks nothing like her. Perks of having white hair means that no one can question why she doesn't look like her portrait. It's from the stress, guys. The ambiguous stress she never elaborates on. What did she have to do for her cousin in order to get the new identity? .......Don't worry about it.

Her journey towards redemption begins the moment the game starts up, because her controller got Kim Kitsuragi'd so hard by Abelard that she had to immediately leave her ideals of mass destruction and become a goody two shoes. Which is why she uses the madwoman voice despite being the most normal person in the room. She is constantly thinking about murder and wanting to inflict chaos upon the galaxy, but every word that comes out of her mouth is based around helping others and making others lives more tolerable. By the end of Act 2, she's been completely converted into a Good Person. She's still a major sadist, but it's definitely something.

Her morals are still very loose, but only in terms of bits. She will abandon all her ideals if she thinks it would be funny. She would have done so many numbers on TikTok....

She makes a terrible girlfriend. She meets someone new and immediately starts flirting with them and calling them the love of her life. The next day, she breaks up with them, and the entire voidship has to deal with her Emotions. Music that plays at the end of a film about a monk killing himself plays on the vox for a week while she cries and rants about her love life to anyone that will listen--even to the person she is currently trying to kill. If someone tries to break up with her, it elicits no strong reaction out of her. If anything, she'd just say "Well I didn't love you anyway." And it would most certainly be the truth.

Heinrix and Jae are both of her exes. Heinrix didn't last two days before she broke up with him. Jae lasted two years, but that was mainly because she had access to a lot of Jae's "friends" to share with. She does have a real love--but it's for Pasqal and while in my heart of hearts AdMechfucking is real and possible, she never gets to marry her favourite coghead. :(

After the end of the game, she marries a noble from the Winterscale house that she had recently destablised by killing their leader in an attempt to reunite the unstable house under her rule. Roughly twenty years after the game, she is murdered in her sleep--an axe wound to her skull. Many believe she was killed by her power-hungry son who ended up taking her place as Rogue Trader, while others believe that it was all a fabrication and that she is still alive somewhere. Probably being a genuine farmer now.

In the Iconoclast society she created after her death, she becomes canonized as a saint--but only for the territory owned by the Von Valancius dynasty. She is often depicted with her prosthetic arm cradling her opposite hand engulfed in flames at her chest, blood running down her face from the wound, and wearing the simple nightgown she was murdered in. Other territories that align their ideals with the authoritarian Empire view her as a heretic and frequently try to purge those possessing talismans in her image.

Mianno Von Valancius (Heretic)

I have...significantly less information on Mianno since I have not done a complete heretical playthrough.

She is a crime boss in control of an entire system as well as some solitary planets across the galaxy. However despite this lofty status, she acts more like an underpaid intern instead of a terrifyingly powerful crime lord. She's in a constant state of staring dead eyed in front of her and speaks in an extremely monotone and exhausted voice. I do not think she has slept in her forty years of being alive.

Mianno had a...shaky relationship with Theodora. Her aunt occasionally came to her when she was in need of illegal goods, but she has a bad case of insulting everyone who tries to make conversation with her, and more than one interaction with the two has resulted in bloody threats.

The burn across her face marks her first exchange with the Chaos Gods. I have absolutely no idea what occurred, she won't tell me, but the moment they offered her violence, she just deadpanned "okay" and has been working on the side of Chaos ever since. All of the dialogue choices that involve her laughing, it's important for you to know that she is saying each individual "ha" with absolutely no emotion whatsoever.

Her relationship with her cousin Alwena is definitely shady. Suffice to say, they are not beating the cousinfucking allegations. Their relationship is basically this image:

With Mianno being Rogue Trader, Alwena essentially serves as her lap warmer. No one has ever seen them kiss...but the energy they exude is definitely not familial love. With Alwena as Rogue Trader, nothing major changes with Mianno. She continues being a crime boss and having no strong emotions towards anything around her.

In terms of her canon love....it's no one. She is physically emotionally mentally incapable of being in love with another person. She does fuck with Marazhai, but that's only so she can imagine all of the lower deck as the infuriating employees she had to deal with as a crime lord. She does not think about Marazhai outside of murder.

I haven't completed the heretic run, so I don't know what that one's ending looks like. But suffice to say, whenever her death comes, she greets it without much emotion and a simple "Okay."

#texts from the underbrush #So much information for Alwena and so little for Mianno....it's clear to see which one I prefer #warhammer 40k #rogue trader

[ambrossart]

Firstly, congratulations on your wedding and welcome back from your honeymoon!!!!!!! I hope the moving is going smoothly 💓

Okay, secondly — I’m back with my DWM questions… please forgive me.

I’ve been hesitant to ask this one because it looks so embarrassing typed out, but I just reread all of your Post Prom posts and the question is gnawing at my brain:

After Eddie turns off the lights and lays down, do either/both of them have an internal crisis about how exactly to position themselves?? Like — he’s got his shirt off, he just said the flirtiest thing at the end of the most intensely heated and emotional night, Reader is wearing his clothes, and they are nuts for each other. In The Morning After, they wake up completely separate, but was that a conscious choice?

Only answer if you’re comfortable, I was just wondering 💗💗

Thank you!! 😊💖

I’m actually typing this from the backseat of a car (it’s a three-day drive to RI), so please excuse any mistakes.

Anyway… HOLY CRAP, ARE YOU IN MY BRAIN??? I swear, it’s like you’re reading my mind or something because once again your question brings up a scene that I almost included in the story. Sadly, it never made it past the pre-writing stage.

Yes, there’s definitely some awkward maneuvering that needs to take place before these two can sleep comfortably next to each other. This problem is made worse by the sexual tension that’s still lingering in the air. Earlier, they mutually agreed that NOTHING was going to happen tonight, so right now they’re both trying to eliminate that temptation as much as possible. That means giving each other space and lots of it. No eye contact. No limbs touching. These two dumbasses are lying on opposite sides of the bed and facing away from each other.

Is it safe? Absolutely. Is it comfortable? Hell no!

For Eddie, this is perfectly fine. It doesn’t matter if he can’t sleep. All Eddie wants is for his girlfriend (that’s right, his girlfriend—boy probably grins to himself just thinking about it 🥰) to feel comfortable and safe in his bed, so he’s prepared to adapt to her sleep style in any way he can. He’ll happily give her all the space she needs, all the blankets she needs. If she gets cold in the middle of the night, she can steal the blankets and wrap herself up like a burrito. Eddie doesn’t care (in fact, he’d probably find that absolutely adorable). From this night on, this girl is his number-one priority.

So naturally he’s a little concerned for her. Eddie asks if she’s comfortable. She says she is, but it’s not that convincing.

Luckily, this awkwardness doesn’t last very long. Eventually, they realize how ridiculous they’re being, laugh it off, and settle into more natural, relaxed positions. For the reader, this probably means moving closer to the middle and rolling onto her other side. Eddie, who also favors his side, decides to lie on his back even though he desperately wants to turn over and face her. But that’s way too risky. Eddie knows if he turns over and sees her staring at him with her head resting on his pillow, if he feels the heat of her breath on his face, he’s gonna be tempted to kiss her and then it’s game over for both of them. She’s wearing his boxers. He’s already half naked. At that point, nothing would stop them from giving in and going all the way, condom or no condom.

(Why didn’t he buy more condoms?? He’s gonna be kicking himself over that for a while)

During this internal struggle, Eddie would hear her say, “What are you thinking about?” and, boy, did she choose the worst time to ask him that.

“Honestly?” Eddie would reluctantly answer. “I’m wondering how long it would take me to drive to the gas station and back.”

Yep. Those damn condoms, that’s what Eddie’s thinking about. He’s also secretly wondering if there’s any way they can chance it without a condom, but there’s no way he’s ever voicing that intrusive thought.

“Sorry,” he would reply with a bashful smile. “I swear, I’m normally a lot better at restraining myself. It’s just… It’s just you, y’know? You’re here, in my bed, and you look really good in my Megadeth shirt. Plus I’ve got like, y’know, four years of pent-up sexual frustration that’s just dying to burst outta me.”

“Wow, four years, huh?” she would say, resisting the urge to laugh. “How did you ever manage to survive so long?”

“Well,” Eddie would answer in that charming way he does, “it would be ungentlemanly of me to answer that.”

Then they would laugh. He would check once more if she’s comfortable. She would say yes and mean it this time. Then, if she was feeling so bold, maybe she would snuggle up to him and rest her head on his chest. Maybe. And if she did this, Eddie might catch her off guard with an unexpected moment of vulnerability:

“Hey, you’re not going anywhere, right?” he would ask out of nowhere. “You’re gonna be here when I wake up?”

She would look up at him, confused. Then Eddie would get really embarrassed and realize he’s tired and talking nonsense.

“Sorry, I know that sounds weird, but… I finally got you back in my life, y’know? If you left now, I don’t think I’d be able to handle it.”

Remember when you asked how Eddie would feel when he woke up alone the next morning? Yeah, he would have been absolutely crushed, which is why the reader has that moment of hesitation in “The Morning After.” She knows exactly how he would feel if she snuck out and went home just because she was too embarrassed to face his uncle.

Damn, now I kinda wish I hadn’t cut out all those scenes. 😂 Oh well.

(I also left out a scene where Eddie is taking off his rings in bed, but that started creeping into NSFW territory, so… I’ll save that concept for another one-shot 😏)

#answered asks #thanks for the ask! #dwm #dancing with myself #ambrossart

[tup-ika-5385]

Knockout Chapter 8:

Chapter Summary:

Assessments are done and plans are made, but one thing becomes clear- they have to get off Kamino.

Fic Summary:

Six months after the trials of Umbara, Tup and Dogma are growing into themselves as well-established members of the 501st. Tup's been training more with Fives and Jesse, set on an ARC trooper promotion, and even Dogma has found a place in medical, where his intense focus and organization are both needed and appreciated.

While practicing for his medic exams, Dogma find some worrying abnormalities in Tup's numbers, making some worrying discoveries. As Tup's condition worsens, help comes from unlikely sources as Dogma, Kix, Fives, and Hardcase fight to discover the truth and save their brother.

Chapter 8:

After another hour in the Bad Batch’s barracks, Dogma had almost acclimated to the smell. Wrecker was doing a lot better, and Crosshair had settled in an uneasy truce, still not trusting this many regs in their barracks, but much less likely to be a threat. Dogma guessed that neither of them liked feeling useless when their brothers were in pain. 

Fives had finally briefed Dogma, Hardcase, and Patch on their current situation after Patch had done a few assessments on Tup, and Dogma’s head was still reeling. Technological components– inside his brother’s head?! Suddenly, the Kaminoan’s response was starting to make a lot more sense, except… when did it get there? 

As batchmates, Dogma and Tup had probably never been separated for more than a day, before their deployment, and even then, something like brain surgery would be pretty hard to hide, even if Tup were trying. And it still didn’t explain the other medics’ reactions, so eager to hunt down a brother without explanation– and an injured one, at that.

Dogma shook his head; he’d go crazy trying to figure it out on his own, especially with his current sleep deficit. Fives had already conked out, sprawled out on the ground like he was still in the middle of a campaign. He’d definitely slept in worse, and Tup hadn’t been far behind him, but Dogma knew any efforts to sleep right now would be wasted, so instead he settled in next to patch and Kix, listening to them go through the assessment results. 

“So, after having Tup do a modified version of the WCPA, and a couple physical assessments, I’d say that physically, he’s well on the mend, and will probably be fully recovered in about a week. He might have some residual balance issues and need more sleep than usual, but he’ll be alright. Mentally, there’s a couple things we’ll have to keep a close eye on.”

He paused, looking towards Dogma, “You remember what we talked about with executive functioning, right?”

“Yeah, it’s starting tasks, planning, and follow-through, right?” Dogma confirmed, relieved to know that his training was already coming in handy.

Patch nodded, “That’s right, and it’s something that Tup’s having some trouble with, right now. The assessment I used had him practice scheduling appointments, training, the like. I asked him certain questions about two and five minutes in, which he’s supposed to ignore, according to the instructions at the beginning, and he was told to let me know when seven minutes had passed, according to the chrono I set up. During the assessment, he scheduled everything correctly, just a bit longer than average, which could’ve easily been exhaustion, but was easily distracted when I asked him questions, and forgot the seven-minute marker entirely.”

He paused before continuing. “There were also a few times, outside of the regular assessment where I noticed he’d have more emotional responses than normal. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Tup never struck me as someone with a hair-trigger anger response.” At that, he looked at Dogma, who shrugged sheepishly. 

Tup had overheard one of Crosshair’s more caustic comments, asking, “What kind of a name is Dogma, anyways?” and hadn’t thought twice about jumping to Dogma’s defense almost aggressively, at least until his eyes started tearing up, and he’d flushed in humiliation. No harm had been done; Dogma could handle a blunt question or two, but seeing the distress on his batchmate’s face had worried him more than a little.

“He’s always been protective of me, but… his restraint is usually a little better, and the tears are unusual.” Dogma commented quietly, eyes trailing down to find his batchmate still fast asleep, taking comfort in watching his chest rise and fall. Sure, Tup used to cry a lot as a cadet, but Dogma hadn’t seen this many tears in a while– not since they were still in their cadet blues, rather than the reds given out to older cadets.

Patch nodded in understanding, rubbing his face tiredly as he talked. “With the brain, there’s a lot of stuff we just don’t know, but it’s likely that he’ll keep having difficulties.”

“For how long?” Dogma asked before he could stop himself.

“Could be a week, could be a month… could be a lot longer than that. It is something we can help with– there’s lots of mindfulness strategies and coping strategies he can learn to use, to give him a little more time to process his emotions. And for the other stuff, he’ll probably need reminders, check-ins, probably not too different from what you’ve already got set up for a couple other vode in the 501st.” 

Patch smiled, looking back to where Hardcase and Wrecker had settled after wearing themselves out. Even before Umbara, Rex and the other commanding officers had already made a habit of sending short written mission briefings to a couple vode mid-mission, Hardcase included, for those who needed a little more help remembering the specifics, and it wouldn’t be too hard to add Tup to that list. 

“He’s got a good support system, and I’ll always be available over comm to make suggestions about what might help, but it’ll be a while ‘till we know more about what he needs.”

Glancing back at Kix, Patch asked, “Do you still have that, uh, tumor? I didn’t get a good look at it earlier.”

Kix nodded, reaching into his utility belt and handing it over with a grimace. “Still can’t believe this was inside of him– makes you wonder what the Kaminoans had planned for it, after Dogma’s unplanned adventure in medbay.”

At that, the group sat in still silence, at least until they were interrupted by Tech. “Is that an inhibitor chip?”

Kix’s eyes widened, “What?”

“An inhibitor chip– they’re utilized by the Kaminoans for behavioral modification. We all have one.” Tech replied, looking bored. “Or, at least, I assume we all have one, but given our deviant nature–”

“That must be why the other medics were acting strange!” Dogma exclaimed before glancing back at Tup to make sure he didn’t wake him. “Nothing else would make sense– medic’s don’t just–”

“Perhaps not in your experience, but I would hesitate to insist that these troopers were not just… following orders.” Tech responded, all-too-familiar with regs responding less-than-kindly to those deemed different; a descriptor that now included Tup, apparently.

His words stirred another memory of Tup, half-conscious and mumbling, “good soldiers follow orders,” prompting another question. “Exactly what behaviors do these chips modify, then?” ‘And why didn’t it work on me?’ Dogma wondered to himself.

“Yeah, I’d like to know that too,” Fives chimed in, having woken up from his lothcat-nap, carefully sliding out from under Tup. “Cuz when I looked for information on this so-called ‘inhibitor chip,’ I got nothing– not even a mention or a scanned image, ‘cept the one we pulled from Tup.”

Tech frowned, rocking a bit as he thought. “I am not sure. I did not pursue that line of thought when I first learned of the chip, but I believe I have the data saved somewhere.” He said, before beginning to search through his mountain of datachits and detritus for the second time that night. Hunter looked like he was about to argue for a moment– he was probably the only reason there was a walkable path in their barracks at all– before relenting, just as curious as the rest of them.

“Here it is!” Tech called, pulling out a datachit that looked identical to the others, but with the numbers 02-157 written on the side; it wasn’t an organizational scheme Dogma recognized.

“The file itself was encrypted, which is why I didn’t choose to open it before– doing so would likely alert the Kaminoans, and it’s possible that it would display the datapad’s location as well, so I would wait until you were off-planet to do so.” He cautioned them with a warning look before handing the file over to Fives. 

“We’ll keep that in mind, thanks vod.” Fives gave him a grateful nod, glad to be doing something. 

“That brings us back to our current predicament, though. We can’t stay here, as grateful as we are for your hospitality,” Fives paused, addressing Hunter, who nodded. “But with Tup’s current condition, stealth’s definitely the better option. Even if we get to a hangar, I’d be shocked if they hadn’t already locked down everything with hyperspace capabilities.” He put a hand on his chin, thinking.

“Actually, we might not need one– a ship with hyperspace, I mean.” Patch offered with a grin. “The 104th should still be in-orbit… it wouldn’t be hard to rendezvous with them and get a different ship– maybe even learn more about this chip while we’re at it.”

“Good plan,” Fives grinned in return. “Speaking of which, I should check back with AZ– last I heard, he was looking into potential insertion dates for the, uh, chips.”

With that, he got out his comm and called the droid. “AZ! What’s the status on those scans you were taking?”

“Oh, hello ARC Trooper Five-s!” A cheery metallic voice called, and Crosshair rolled his eyes from where he’d been listening in. “I have been ordered to report to the maintenance bay for a system wipe, but I shall transmit the data to you at once. One moment please.”

“What?!”

“It appears that the Kaminoans do not recognize the social-emotional benefits of doctor-patient confidentiality, and took offense when I did not share the identity of Patient Tup.”

Fives sighed, “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me. I don’t get how you can be so chipper about it– if I was being reconned, I’d be furious.” After all, it was nearly the same thing, and the little med-droid had started to grow on Fives, like some kind of invasive fungus.

AZ-3 hummed. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have human emotions– but I do not!” He replied cheerily before something beeped. “The data is now transmitted.”

Kix’s datapad buzzed, and the medic nodded that the data had been received. “It confirms what we knew; that all troopers past tubies have one of these chips. But I still wanna know who has control of them. Nala Se, obviously, but who else?”

“Can’t be anyone good, if they’re trying this hard to keep them a secret. This is starting to smell like a Separatist plot to me.” Fives frowned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Sure, call him paranoid, but since Umbara, it didn’t take much to make him doubt other’s motives, and he’d never trusted the Kaminoans much in the first place.

Turning to Tech, he asked, “Tech, could you– is there any way to change AZ’s–”

Tech hummed an affirmative, tapping away at his datapad. “Already done. The system will register the droid as already having been wiped– assuming its number is the same one registered to that comm device, and it should be free to return to its duties.” He said, adjusting his goggles. Hunter might not like it when he intervened, worrying he’d get in trouble with the Kaminoans, but Tech found great satisfaction in disrupting the Kaminoan’s plans, even just a little.

“Hear that, AZ? You should be good to go. Take care of yourself, yeah?”

“Care is not required, as I am a droid. Goodbye!” AZ-3 replied, cutting off the comm channel abruptly, earning a weary chuckle from Fives. “Yeah, he’ll be fine.”

He turned towards Hunter and the rest of the Bad Batch, who had already done so much to help clones who were practically strangers to them. “I know I have no right to ask this of you– you’ve already done so much to help us, to help Tup, and we couldn’t be more grateful. I know us ‘regs’ haven’t treated you well in the past, but you and your squad have treated us with kindness we haven’t earned. If you ever need anything, you are welcome with the 501st anytime.” 

He drew himself up into a firm salute, which was mirrored by the other conscious troopers– Hardcase and Tup were still fast asleep. Hunter nodded his head in acceptance, giving them a rare smile. “I’ve gotta say, it’s been nice spending time with regs who aren’t about to throw down with one of my brothers.” 

He glanced at Crosshair for approval, knowing if he didn’t, he’d be hearing about it for the next month. Thankfully Crosshair shrugged, glancing at the regs as if to say, ‘Whatever gets out of my space soonest,’ so Hunter turned back to Fives.

Despite a few bumps in the road, this was probably the most peaceful interaction his squad had ever had with the regs– and these ones actually saw them as vode, which was parsecs above what he could say for most of the shinies still on Kamino. “Now, what did you say you need?” Unfortunately, the Marauder was still undergoing repairs after their latest mission, so they couldn’t just give them a ride.

Fives grinned. “We could use a distraction…”

___________________

Turns out, the Bad Batch had a plan for exactly that, and within ten minutes, their squad was heading towards the nearest hangar completely unobstructed. With the combination of Tech’s computer skills, Crosshair’s pinpoint accuracy when it came to identifying and shutting down cameras, and of course, Wrecker’s ability to draw attention wherever he went, it wasn’t long before they were in possession of a small ship that wouldn’t be missed for 24 hours. 

They were home free– assuming they didn’t crash along the way.

“I thought you said you knew how to fly!” Patch yelped, his face a ghastly shade of green as he tried to keep his breaths even as he resolutely refused to look out the viewscreen. His aviophobia had gotten a lot better since his posting with the 501st, but this– he cursed as Hardcase made another loop and a muffled “Oops,” could be heard in the cockpit– was not flying.

“I’ve flown before!” Hardcase shouted back, dodging the last of the sensor arrays as they made their way up into the atmosphere. He twisted the ship around a few more times for good measure, hoping to keep the Kaminoans off their scent, and Patch’s heart stuttered with every jerking movement.

“Umbara categorically does not count!” Dogma griped, inclined to agree with Patch. The sooner they were back on firm ground, the better.

“I mean I’ve practiced some with the General, he’s been helping me to–”

“Watch the controls!!!” Kix cried in despair as Hardcase pulled up on the brakes and they definitely left a mark on the 104th’s hangar floor.

“I’ve got it, I’ve got it!” Hardcase called as the ship came to a full and complete stop, probably smoking a little bit, but otherwise in one piece. “There!”

Kix let out a relieved sigh, clutching his chest. “Remind me to never fly with you again, vod.” He said before walking out the exit ramp, giving a hand to Patch when his legs shook, still looking more than a little green.

“You good, vod?”

Patch let out a slow breath, only just managing to hold down his rations while he nodded. He wasn’t usually one prone to space-sickness, but at least he had an excuse for not noticing their audience until he nearly ran into Commander Wolffe. “Easy there, Patch.” 

“Wolffe!” Patch brightened immediately, leaning in to clasp his brother’s wrist, receiving a hearty thump on the back.

“It’s good to see you, vod. Welcome home.” Wolffe rumbled softly, drawing him in.

Patch choked up a little bit, responding just as quietly. “It’s good to be home.”

It’s been more than a year since he was back with the 104th, and even with everything else going on, it meant so much to be here– and to be with his brothers again, so he took a moment to settle in Wolffe's firm grip before pulling away. 

He glanced around, noticing their little welcoming party included most of the Wolfpack, as well as General Koon.

“Thanks for letting us crash here, General.” Hardcase joked, watching as the landing crew gave the ship one last spray with a fire-extinguisher. “We’ve heard a lot of good things about you, sir.”

“You are most welcome, young Hardcase. It is an honor to meet Patch's brothers from the 501st.” General Plo offered, smiling under his mask as he greeted the group. “Come, I hear we have much to discuss.” He said, beckoning them forward so they could share what they learned.

____________

AO3 Link:

#hard knocks 'verse #clone trooper dogma #clone trooper tup #tbb tech #tbb crosshair #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #clone trooper kix #arc trooper fives #clone trooper hardcase #hardcase survived umbara but now has chronic pain #hardcase lives #autistic dogma #autistic tech #clone medic patch #patch has aviophobia #clone trooper oc's #my fics #my stuff

[joyboythehopepunk]

the color of growth

the color of growth by donovan melero

it's one of those emotive songs that helps me feel things i normally put to the side. not sure if anyone else does this. where you just get into one of those moods.. where you have to think about/feel the things that are bothering you?

it used to be more self destructive for me than listening to a sad song or two. i used to be an alcoholic. i used to be depressed and a little bipolar.

but i'm autistic with cptsd. being in fucked up situations really does a number on me in a way it doesn't seem to mess with other people. that is why i have only been in handful of relationships.

things affect me much more intensely.

at first i thought i was just a highly sensitive person. well. at first i just thought i was a moody weirdo who happened to be intelligent.

anyway.. this part of my self discovery journey only began in earnest with a failed relationship. i had to know what was wrong with me.

but... just as i'd feared: nothing is more wrong with me than anyone else. i only confirmed i am fucked up. like everyone else. just in a different way. definitely less fucked up than the general public.

that was this issue, ultimately. if you're closer to health and your society is mostly sick.. you look more damaged. you look like the crazy one. but you're actually sane. more sane than any peers you've had. i'm also a statistical anomaly in a way, too. being mixed, trans, and disabled is common on this hellsite.

but lgbtq people, brown people, and neurodivergent people are technically still minorities.

anyway.. my journey has been a long one. and it isn't over yet.

the color of growth is a sad song about the loss of love and regret. which is mainly what I feel when i think of her. the one that really hurt me. for some reason.. it seems to hurt more than anything i can remember in a long time. and yeah, i know autistic people experience trauma more extremely.. but oof.

ramble. it wasn't just my fault. i know that. i just wish i could find someone who is as patient and considerate as i am. i make an excellent lover. it is too bad people keep proving me right about their characters. but we all have fucked up things going on. idk.

i'm tired of being alone. i have been alone my whole life - unlike others. no real emotional/mental support my whole life. was barely taken care of as a child. as an adult i've had no real friends/family.

people make me uncomfortable. and with how i've seen them treat one another (except in rare instances) it is understandable. why anyone would be wary. and maybe that is why people don't really seem to value relationships as much as they say.

but i am a voidpunk/spiritual being. i've never looked at humans the same way as other people. i value life, i really do. i probably value the connections more than normal. i see peoples' humanity more than normal.

but lately.. lately i have grown more detached. bc i just don't have the energy to give people. bc i'm tired of being hurt and disappointed.

people who don't see me as a person. people who can't respect or give space or support me. especially when i've always been a very giving person... why should i give them consideration? other than it's the right thing to do? (which has gotten me taken advantage of and misunderstood too)

always in lop-sided relationships. (bc people expect something specific out of me/expect more from me)

never understood or loved properly. (bc people don't know how to be there for me/love me. they only have so much space in their hearts ig)

there's no point to this post except for me to air my feelings out. it feels like i have a giant wound inside me. and tho i suspect others feel the same.. there is a difference in the clarity and magnitude of awareness.. how much we know of ourselves and others deepens such pain.

ah. it hurts. to think of loving and being loved in return.

(a/n: check out Aurora's Nature Boy song)

can't wait to find my companion, lover, and friend. hopefully i won't wait much longer.

#voidpunk #personal #love #romance #loss #regret #pain #heartache #relationship #heartbroken #moving on #healing #romantic #hopeless romantic #solitude #loneliness #partner #lover #friend #companion

[noah-moth-cursed-chaos]

Being an informant meant not getting close to clients.

Because in this line of work, anyone would die for any leverage against you. Loyalty was deadly and feelings were worse.

And Madeline, or Spreadsheet as she was known to clients, was very good at keeping to that rule. Or had been so far. Ten years in this business and she hadn’t fucked up yet. Not so much as a non business related meeting.

… then why was there a busted field agent unit on her couch? With an older model hovering maybe two feet behind her as she tried to fix the poor thing?

She couldn’t have told anyone if they asked. It had been a split second decision, when ‘Field’, she was pretty sure that’s what people called him anyway, showed up at her door with the smaller robot in his arms.

Field and his team had been an enigma from the start.

She had worked with Nexus Agents before. Hell, she’d worked with the previous Nexus 8 team shortly before they died. There were a few things they had in common: Professionalism, seriousness, and a seemingly complete lack of emotion.

This team wasn’t like that, really. Well. Field himself, seemingly a leader of some sort, had the first two. But he was… oddly compassionate. And his emotions seemed to have rubbed off on the rest of his teammates, for the most bizarre show of personality in these normally blank slate robots Spreadsheet had ever seen.

So when he had shown up, desperate for any help, frantic and offering anything in exchange for the life of his coworker… how was she supposed to turn him away? She knew how to fix a number of field agent models, it definitely came in handy when you needed to make a few extra bucks. Most of them has a distrust of the Nexus Repair Centers, and they were usually broken. This definitely wasn’t a challenge.

Finally she got up, “He’ll be fine. He’s rebooting now.” She finally turned to face Field, after all that time of him staring her down. He was… not small, likely almost seven feet tall. He made her feel kind of… insignificant standing next to him. Like he could crush her without meaning to. Finally his gaze went from her to the robot on the couch.

After a moment he spoke, “Thank you.” His gruff voice was unusually quiet.

“… he’s not gonna wake up any sooner if you keep staring.”

“… you’re right. I should go outside and keep watch.” Field nodded, headed for the door.

“You. Don’t need to do that.”

“What?”

“Trust me buddy, nobody gets in here unless I want them to.”

“But-“

“Look, you’re probably stressed beyond all belief, huh? I got a spare bedroom. You can sit down for a little, try and relax.” She offered, she normally wouldn’t. Something about knowing this guy did have feelings, and seeing him so distraught… it got to her.

“I can’t relax.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not allowed-it’s against my coding. If my Director discovered-“

“Well he’s not here is he?” She asked, walking over to him, “Nothing’s gonna hurt you, big guy. You’re okay.” What were they doing to these robots, anyway? First one she’d met to be built with emotions and she was pretty sure he had anxiety.

“I am not laying down.”

“Stubborn, aren’t’cha?”

“Extremely, so I’ve been told.”

“Well then!” Spreadsheet clapped her hands, “Can he eat?”

“Yes.”

“Alrighty then!” She grabbed his arm, not commenting when he froze up for a moment, despite feeling a tad guilty, “Let’s go.”

“What?”

“We’re making him food.”

“I didn’t agree to this, Ms.Spreadsheet.”

“I believe you’ll find I’ve also been told I’m ‘extremely stubborn’, so you don’t have a choice in the matter. If you’re going to stand in my house looking all scared like that I’m gonna do distract you.”

“I am not scared-“

“Just shut up and help me cook, okay?”

#jazzpunk #jazzpunk oc #robot hobo #writing #my writing

[left-ts]

• Dating Finney Blake

masterlist

—————————————

Dating Finney is like a magical experience

You guys are everyone’s fav couple

Like if y’all ever broke up no one would believe in love anymore

Finn is the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet

Although he is a little sarcastic and has an rbf sometimes he’s still a nice guy

Most of the time…

This kid is low key a menace

He barely ever smiles or laughs

He’s just bad at showing his emotions

You are most definitely his first romantic relationship

When you asked him out he though it was a prank because stuff like that has happened before

You had to reassure him that you were being genuine

He’s always at your house unless he knows his dad isn’t home

Y’all nap all the time on your bed or couch

Like when your mom comes to find you for dinner or lunch

You guys are tangled up laying on your bed with your arms holding on extremely tight to each other

Y’all also like to watch movies together

Since his dad is really strict about what he watch’s

You guys watch new movies that come out or ones that were advertised and his dad wouldn’t let him watch

Gwenny is also with you guys a lot

She normally hangs out with both of you

But sometimes she steals you and just leaves Finn by himself

Y’all do face masks, hair, nails and makeup together since she really has no one to do that stuff with

But you always make sure to give Finn a hug and a kiss after Gwen falls asleep

You are always invited to his games

And you always go

You even got a jersey with his name and number on the back

You and Gwen get popcorn, Coke and candy to watch him play

You’re most definitely his biggest cheer leader Gwenny is a close 2nd tho

Let’s say that you’re a cheerleader

He is at all of your games

Even if he doesn’t know what’s going on he watch’s anyway

He loves when you wear your uniform

He thinks it makes you look very pretty and preppy

You give him kisses on the cheek which leaves a stain of bright red lipstick

He’s always nervous when you stunt

He would literally die if you got hurt

Back to the regular hcs (I had to get those out of my system) :)

When y’all got further into your relationship he started talking about you at home with Gwen and his dad heard

He not so politely asked to meet you

I mean he knew you existed he just never said anything because he wasn’t sure if this was like a temporary thing

Finn was super nervous for you to meet him

When you rang his door bell Terrance opened the door and greeted you

“Ah, you must be Finney’s girlfriend..”

You have him a half smile and stuck out your hand

“Yes, hi I’m y/n.”

He shook your hand reluctantly and opened the door for you

You looked behind him to see Finn on his death bed and sweating buckets

Terrance approved of you

He just told you two to keep the door open at least three inches

If you couldn’t tell Finney is my fav…

I’m trying not to be biased

It’s so hard

#finney blake #the blackphone #the black phone headcanons