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askshivanulegacy · 4 months

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That thing about carbon emissions for T Swift is also inaccurate—someone broke the math down here:

https://zulie.medium.com/lets-fact-check-that-taylor-swift-private-jet-usage-story-32d226bd3682

Plus she paid for twice as many carbon offsets as necessary to negate the Eras Tour:

https://www.insider.com/taylor-swift-spent-160-hours-using-private-jet-eras-tour-2023-8?amp

“Before the tour kicked off in March of 2023, Taylor purchased more than double the carbon credits needed to offset all tour travel.”

People say a lot of misleading or flat out incorrect things about her. It’s popular to hate on her. People bring up a photograph with a ‘fan’ who hid his shirt until the photo went off so she would be smiling next to a swaztika. They bring up a phone call with Kanye where it turned out the (illegal) recording was edited in a misleading way and actually Taylor was telling the truth the whole time.

There’s other stuff people accuse her of, but it’s all similar bullshit. None of it adds up.

I went digging because I was wondering the same thing. The worst I found was ‘not using her platform for politics’ but when I looked into that… Ugh, gonna be anon so no Swifties come for me, but she’s just…she’s liberal (at least on social issues) but she went to a private Christian homeschooling program for her junior/senior year because they could accommodate her touring schedule. In one of her tour movies (Reputation), a stage designer says something is the size of a Boeing 737, and she has no idea what that is.

She likes books and stuff, and she writes beautiful lyrics, which make Swifties assume she’s a nerdy genius, but being good at English isn’t connected to being good at history or sociology or political science.

Basically, I don’t think she’s an idiot or anything, but I think she maybe isn’t very well versed in politics. She’s said she’s trying to educate herself, but still. If she hasn’t got the background or relevant knowledge…isn’t it better that she keep listening and researching rather than spouting off a half-cocked opinion when she has so many rabid fans? So, to me, ‘not using her platform enough’ (because she only uses it to drive youth voting registration and a handful of clear cut political topics) is ultimately a good thing.

Anyway. Apart from that, I legit couldn’t find anything except a couple months of chaste dating another teen when she was a teen herself. She was 19, he was 17, they went to a couple hockey games together. Both were out of high school and he was like…two months from being 18. They’re still friends.

For some people, that’s unforgivable, I guess? But… I dunno, man, seems like normal behavior to me. (Of course, I’m used to countries where you become an adult at 20, so that might be a factor on my part.)

Anyway. No idea if any of this was helpful. I just thought I’d write in because I tried doing the same digging about why she’s so problematic. Instead I found people complaining about the porn preferred by a guy she was seen next to at a mutual friend’s birthday party. People keep saying they dated, but I can’t find any actual proof of even that. (It also led me down a rabbit hole on that guy where I found out the complaint ‘he literally did a nazi salute at a concert’ was about him mockingly doing one during a song about idiots. Apparently he was trying to say Nazis are stupid or something? Not a great way to do it, but completely different from the accusation.)

Anyway. That’s all I could find. 🤷‍♀️ I couldn’t even verify the billionaire thing—everyone cites Bloomberg, but Bloomberg just credits an unnamed ‘analyst’ who doesn’t show their work. Which is wild to me.

But yeah. That’s all the digging turned up for me. Hopefully this ask can spare you a few hours of fruitless googling.

Thanks so much for the detailed info! I'm currently halfway through a YouTube vid that I'm speeding through just for funsies, and yeah, between that and post comments, it's all pointing to similar things: she basically had a golden girl start in life, funded by reasonably rich parents, and rose to stardom.

Good for her. People are whining that "she should do more" and I'm here to ask ... WHY. Why should she? Because she has money? Because she's famous? Isn't it enough for an artist to simply make the art she wants to make? Why should she be expected to do more, and why is NOT choosing to do that suddenly a moral failing? Like, it's an utter non-issue. It's the opposite of hurting anyone. She gets to decide what to do with her time and her money and maybe it's not what her fans want, but who cares.

I could understand being upset if she actively used her money to do something bad, but not using it is just not using it.

And everything else? Non-issues too. People can have boyfriends. And people get to associate with whoever they want and they are not responsible for that person's questionable dealings.

And the carbon emissions thing is such a joke anyway. I admit I don't know much about it, but the premise of "paying money to offset carbon" is obnoxious and has no meaning. No normal person needs to be concerned about that. That is firmly rooted in corporations, who can and should bear all the costs to change what they're doing.

#thanks for the info!!!#i don't care if people like her or not like her #i have no opinion #but going off on famous people just for being famous is so dumb #you can dislike someone just because you dislike them #you don't have to make up fantasies to justify it 😂😂😂#asks #answers

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everypetrapanel · 2 years

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“Every Petra Panel”

Volume 5, Episode 20: Special Operations Squad, Page 9

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gaylaughingdoves · 3 years

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I really love how you draw Dottore! he's my favorite character in genshin- do you have any hcs/ideas for how he interacts with the other harbingers? I find other people's readings of him really interesting!

take care, have a good day whenever you read this!

Aaa!! Thank you!! <3 :D And yes I absolutely have hcs about him and the other harbingers!!

(I'm gonna toss them under a cut because I have a tendency to ramble on and use a whole lotta Words-)

Alright, so Signora and Dottore:

Extraordinarily chaotic and evil sibling dynamic

They gossip, like, A Lot, it's mainly Signora talking while Dottore fidgets and works with whatever he's working on, but he gets invested in it pretty easily

Now they also can and will rat each other out when they want, absolute snitches the both of them, they find immense joy in it, however. They also know a decent number of each other's secrets and they aren't going to tell those unless given a proper bribe (which neither have received just yet)

Signora and Dottore also both do Not like Childe

They have bonded over this

Childe is gaslight girlboss gatekept from everything when Signora and Dottore are involved

Also, Signora usually isn't phased by whatever Dottore keeps in his labs, because, yk, she might be 500+ years old, which Dottore appreciates because usually people are constantly on edge in his labs

It's a pain for him to actually keep staff (alive and employed), but having another Harbinger there (even one with a reputation like Signora's) grants the people working for him an, admittedly false, sense of security. Nothing could go bad when two Harbingers are here, right?

So Actually many many things can go wrong with these two in a room with Dottore's experiments

Like don't trust them around fire? Ever? Signora knows her way around it a little bit too well to be safe, and Dottore just likes watching how things burn under different conditions soo a recipe for Arson, that's what that is

Signora also thinks Dottore is hilarious when he's angry, and Dottore just likes being antagonistic, which leads to a whole lotta bickering. It's usually lighthearted but it can get serious and it can get serious fast

But overall Dottore just sorta sees her as an older sibling-ish person? He knows if he lets something slip she's not going to go straight to the other Harbingers to gossip. Which he likes because he can just go off and rant about how stupid something is and she'll just use it as blackmail material, which he thinks is better than like. Having everyone know how much he hates a certain piece of old machinery or something-

However, he doesn't trust her too much, because?? Who in the Harbingers actually trusts each other???

Also he and Signora have Transmasc/Transfem solidarity I will not be elaborating

Dottore and Childe on the other hand:

Pure hatred from Childe's side, he straight-up despises Dottore.

After all, this is a guy whose family is one of the most important things to him, his siblings are children, children who do not know the weight of the world just yet.

And Dottore is the guy who is... well. He's known to treat kids like nothing but a base to experiment on

Now Dottore on the other hand literally just wants to dissect Childe, he's gone absolutely crazy trying to get permission to at least run tests.

I mean, What else was he going to do when the kid Pulcinella found on the side of the road started turning into an entire 10ft abyss creature??? That's part of his whole line of work!! This is literally something he studies!!!

Needless to say, he was not allowed to study Childe's Foul Legacy in any regard and it ticked him off

So yeah, just overall they Hate each other, they argue a lot, like, if the Tsarita wasn't there at meetings they would turn into fistfights

However, they both drink whatever the Genshin equivalent of Monster is

This is not a bonding point, they fight over flavors

Sounds like a dumb thing to fight over but Dottore can't stand Childe's and Childe can't stand Dottore's

This has lead to other Harbingers swapping their flavors around because they think it's entertaining to watch them fight

It actually got to the point where the Tsaritsa herself had to order them to stop switching the flavors around because Dottore and Childe are already prepped to murder each other at any moment, they don't need to make it worse

So Dottore just reserves himself to snapping at Childe with the annoyance of someone who is being blocked from something that could very easily be a big break that's being dangled over his head

For real though, Childe has so much potential for Dottore's experiments but Dottore isn't allowed to do so much as study what effect that the transformation has on Childe afterward, and he hates it

But he can't lose his funding from the Tsaritsa so he stays quiet and angrily compiles whatever information he can

Anyway, Dottore and Scaramouche:

Overall neutral actually?

Like they don't see each other much, with Dottore usually knee and elbow deep in some messed up science stuff, and Scara's work taking him out and about a lot of the time

They bicker and stuff, but overall?? They kinda just avoid talking to each other?

Sometimes, rarely, they do get put on a mission with each other, but when they happens they usually get along pretty well!

They actually have a good time snooping around places, what with Dottore's practically uncontrollable curiosity being easily triggered if there's... oh idk, dragon bones, or old machines, or abyss-related ruins, or anything in the typical Vindagyeran Architecture Style, and Scaramouche just likes to snoop and sneak around for fun, for funsies

There's been a few times when the both of them have bonded over chaotically messing something up (didn't impact them, but sure did impact whoever was living in those houses) and laughed over it, grabbed some drinks, and just hung out

They're sorta like buddies who don't see each other much so they're overall estranged but still have a good time, yk?

Scaramouche has hung out in Dottore's labs before, doesn't particularly enjoy them, what with all the machinery and people crying and whatever, thinks it's boring, but if he has to hang out there he'll find his way to Dottore's office and read his files

This gets on Dottore's nerves, but he knows a little better than to cross the minor god that is Scaramouche

And he would very much like to study Scaramouche, considering, yk, divinity abandoned by the divine?

What an odd predicament!!

What effects would that have!!

How does he still have any power!!!

The questions Dottore could have are endless!!

But Scaramouche is away enough to be sure that Dottore's interest is solidly in other things (mainly Abyssal, and Dragons, because there's always some Fatui around the dragon skeletons (Durin and Orobashi) and I have a feeling it's Dottore's doing)

And that's it so far I think? They'll probably change as more Harbingers/info on the ones we have already come out and such but that's what I have rn!! Just Dottore being a funny feral little angry science man with at least three sensible braincells, and yk what I love him for it :)

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feralaot · 3 years

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random scouts hcs!

I did a post like this for the warriors my beloved (here) and people seemed to like it so here's one for the scouts :) had some input from @afrival for this one luv u

no warnings I think

eren

if he had twitter he would have a vaporwave bart simpson profile picture and tweet lil peep lyrics. also uses way too many hashtags

he's scared of snakes and hates armin's ball python

his eyes are probably crusty as hell and mikasa has to wipe em for him because he won't

when he's losing an argument he goes "ooh you wanna kiss me so bad" and it always escalates things but he doesn't stop

almost exclusively wears american eagle

"what's a pronoun".mp3

uses the 💯 emoji in every other text message he sends

armin

sends his friends pictures of cats cuddling/hanging out and says "me n you <3"

genuinely can't stand when people have dirt under their fingernails. he gets so mad at eren bc his nails are dirty asf and armin forces him to clean them

he calls himself sexy a lot (e.g. "that was really sexy of me")

chews on bottle caps then is like hmm why do my teeth hurt

he hates feet. toes look weird to him. nobody in his house is allowed to take their socks off

unironically uses faces like ^-^ and :3

acne :(

mikasa

she's really bad at giving advice. don't go to her for help she'll literally be like "that's tough"

probably has like 4 instagram accounts made just to follow eren

solid black profile picture and no bio

maybe now and then she'll put a my chemical romance quote on her story but that's about it, she doesn't respond to dms or anything

doesn't wash that damn scarf so it's probably stinky

sticks staples, pins, etc through the tips of her fingers for no reason other than she likes freaking people out

probably hisses at people

jean

the only possible relationship dynamic somebody can have with him is rivals to lovers

very short social fuse and has to stay home for several days after public events bc it's just exhausting

he's an introvert adopted by extroverts (connie and sasha) and has to deal with their shenanigans. truly the mom figure between the three of them

marco has to listen to him ranting about connie and sasha's foolery and doesn't have much advice to offer bc he doesn't know either

for a long time he only knew "straight" and "gay" and when he found out about the concept of bisexuality his mind almost imploded

he sighs and yawns a lot and doesn't even realize he does it. people always think he's either annoyed or tired

probably dresses like a diet e-boy. crewneck king

connie

the kind of kid in your high school gym class that wears mismatching neon clothes. bonus points if it's nike

also the most likely to start a food fight for funsies

he doesn't yell often because his voice cracks when he does and it's embarrassing

sasha and him hate cafeteria food so he always brings an ungodly amount of food in his backpack instead to share with sasha. connie's backpack is 90% food

unironically says things like "pogchamp" and "rad"

he works at zumiez and probably lives there. always rocking their latest drip

jumps up and slaps exit signs

sasha

randomly breaks into song (usually disney songs) and connie will automatically duet

manages to fall asleep in any situation. on buses, while watching movies, sometimes even mid conversation if she's zoned out enough

tried to take armin fishing one time but he almost cried because he felt so bad about it

at least reiner will fish with her though. the himbos always come through

her instagram is all pictures of fish she caught and now and then there's an awkward candid pic of niccolo

stayed overnight in a walmart one time and got away and brags about it but she won't admit it was an accident. panicked and spent the night eating snacks off the shelves to "survive"

while she's talking her voice slowly gets louder and louder and she doesn't realize it until people tell her to stop yelling

historia

pulls people by the ears to bring them down to her level

also kicks people in the shins a lot, if she's arguing with someone they'll usually keep their distance to avoid getting shin kicked

loves climbing on ymir's back and just being carried around like the little creature she is

posts inspirational quotes on her story

would definitely be a cheerleader in high school. nobody would guess a prep like her is dating some grunge girl w a pretty much opposite personality

she always has bandaids with her for some reason. if someone gets scraped she'll whip out a bandaid immediately. her friends call her "mom" sometimes

hates grilled cheese so god damn much. can't stand it

ymir

"damn I don't remember asking".mp3

is always the first one to comment on historia's instagram posts. her comments range from "beautiful my queen!!!" to "damn ma yo ass fat"

she always called reiner gay as a joke then he came out as gay and for a while she thought it was her fault

her and reiner have wlw and mlm solidarity, they're bffs for that matter

if someone tells her that her music is too loud she'll say "huh?" and turn it up

similarly if someone scolds her for something she'll go "hm? repeat that, I'm a little deaf in this ear"

"bro stfu you always tell me you're gonna fire me for being late"

levi

really really hates cooking pasta because straining the water is for some reason more difficult than it should be

"do not underestimate me, bitches"

always refuses to get his hair cut at places in shopping centers. especially walmart great clips

makes monkey noises when he sees something he likes. he started doing this as a joke to mock zeke but it evolved and now he can't stop doing it randomly

will not hesitate to knock someone on their ass if they're talking shit

coffee makes him jittery so he drinks tea instead but won't admit to anyone that he lowkey also has a redbull addiction

hange calls him a catboy but he doesn't know what that means so he's always like "yeah" bc he thinks it means he's a cat person

hange

buys levi shoes from the kids section and doesnt tell him bc he likes them anyway

such a millennial, they say shit like "doggo" and "adulting"

"for practical reasons I don't exist. do not perceive me"

probably wants to marry mothman

levi has had to scold them on several different occasions for bringing live animals into the house

legally isn't allowed to cook bc they can and they will blow something up

goes on tipsy rants almost nightly

erwin

white skechers king

hosts barbecues in those white skechers. he talks shit about people with nile and pyxis like a bunch of gossiping middle aged fath- wait

his profile pictures on social media are probably pictures of himself taken from awkward angles with an empty expression. it's always posted like six times as well

when levi is getting Out Of Hand he'll pick him up from under the arms and carry him away like "okay, that's enough" and levi kicks around but can't escape

rubs his hands together a lot like a fly. nobody knows why he does it. what are you scheming

falls asleep on couches while watching sports games

[swinging his keys around his finger] "let's rock and roll"

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galaxina-the-pyro · 3 years

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There's NO PnF x Epithet Erased AU and I'm Here to Correct That!

Well, really I just wanna theorize on what everyone's epithets would be and to just have an excuse to talk about the show, because "Epithet Erased" (produced by @jelloapocalypse) is fucking amazing and ya'll need to stop what you're doing and watch it on VRV (also available on YouTube if you can't afford VRV like me - but if you CAN afford VRV, you totally should considering making an account so you can support this AMAAAAAZING project) Go on. Do it.

So - a little info dump for ya'll who aren't in the know...ahem...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h97aI5SZHk4&ab_channel=JelloApocalypseJelloApocalypseVerified

SO! In the world of Epithet Erased, there are those who are gifted with the rare power called, you guessed it, Epithets. Some have them - others don't. The ones who don't are called Mundies, and the ones who do are called Inscribed. Those who are Inscribed each have a unique word attached to their soul that allows them to do "stuff" depending on the given word.

Ex. One of the main characters of the series has the Epithet "Goldbricker", which allows him/her to turn objects into gold, including him/herself.

Inscribed are able to train and hone their powers so that they can gain more abilities in the process - however, depending on the word you get, you may be the most dangerous being in existence, or have the lamest superpower ever. Though, do not be fooled - even the dumbest sounding words can hold their weight in ways you never suspected if you use them right.

Inscribed and Mundies alike are all ranked by three stats: Stamina, Proficiency, and Creativity (arguably the most IMPORTANT stat for Inscribed). These stats dictate one's power and durability within a battle or even for everyday tasks and jobs, like building, or stuff like that.

In the end, Epithets are NOT in any way, shape, or form connected to genetics - Mundie parents can conceive Inscribed children, and Mundie children can have Inscribed parents. All of it is randomized, from whether or not you'll have one, to the word you get in question.

Now with all THAT out of the way, I can go on to ramble about the possible Epithets the REST of the gang has.

NOTE: this isn't me saying EVERYONE listed would be Inscribed if they WERE in Epithet Erased because that's not possible - chances are, someone like Isabella would be a Mundie while that one background character named Baltazar the Ballpit Kid would be Inscribed. This is just for funsies! (Also, because Perry's an animal he doesn't get an Epithet, sorry)

So...without further ado...what I think the cast of PnF's Epithets would be:

Phineas: "Lightbulb" (an Epithet that seems useless on the surface - Phineas is able to cause lightbulbs to appear from thin air upon thinking of an idea. But he's ALSO able to generate electricity and use it in battle, and can use it to charge his machines and anything he builds)

Ferb: "Toolbox" (Ferb is able to pull an assortment of tools and useful gadgets from seemingly nothing, hence him being a literal "toolbox" - these tools vary from things like hammers and saws to actual weaponry. Lord help you if he gets his hands on an ACTUAL toolbox or anything like it)

Candace: "Gatekeeper" (This was a tough one - basically, "gatekeeper" refers to her control-freak personality. Her abilities can be as small as being able to lock or unlock doors from afar/without the use of a key, to being able to create doors and gates to keep people in or out of something or somewhere)

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: "Self-Destruct" (This probably doesn't count because "Self-Destruct" is two words, but DANGIT I'm gonna do it anyway because this is just too perfect for Dr. D! Doof's ability allows him to cause explosions of any kind within the vicinity, including himself. He takes recoil damage from this ability, but it's actually really powerful if used correctly [which luckily, given that he's PROBABLY a Bonzai Blaster in this, his Proficiency is probably too low for him to use it that way, though I'd imagine his creativity is as high as Phineas and Ferb's])

Isabella: "Daydream" (This Epithet allows Isabella to create illusions and false realities with her mind - oftentimes it's to her detriment, as one of her most utilized "fantasies" is Phineasland. However, she can use this ability to trap her enemies and can even summon "imaginary friends" to help her in battle)

Buford: "Wind" (Though the word is simple, Buford is able to control the winds around him - even to the point of creating gusts to blast at enemies. He's also able to fly effortlessly through the air, though for a short period of time [pray that you're not beneath him when he runs out of air]. The catch? His power is through farts and belches...shut up, you all know this makes sense)

Baljeet: "Multiple" (Baljeet's Epithet allows him to project numbers and math problems for all to see - it COULD also allow him to increase in size and to create clones of himself if his Creativity was much higher than it already is. Luckily, he's at the very least able to use these numbers as projectiles)

Vanessa: "Rock" (Which refers to her being the kind of person people can open up to ["Candace Against the Universe"], her tough, firm personality, as well as the kind of music she listens to. With this Epithet, she is able to turn parts of her body into pure stone [much like "Goldbricker"], making her nearly invincible)

Major Monogram: "Screen" (Is able to appear on any screen without the need of a camera - he can also take control of any device with a screen so long as he is inhabiting it...which...kinda puts Carl out of the job, so...uh...let's fix that!)

Carl: "Intern" (Yeah. His Epithet is Intern. Because that's what he is. His ability is a wildcard, as it allows him to work in any environment with high proficiency, but depending on the location he's in he's either a force to be reckoned with or is completely useless in battle. Ex. in an office setting, he's just really good with numbers and writing checks and stapling papers, etc., but in a hospital setting he can have the ability to heal you in battle)

And that's all I really got so far. I might add more in the future. If you guys think their Epithets would be different, I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts!

"Epithet Erased" is fun, creative and such a joy to watch, it'd be a crime for this project to not be completed from a lack of viewing. It's got poignant humor, a cast of quotable, likable characters I guarantee will make you all smile, FANTASTIC MUSIC LIKE OMG IT'S SO GOOD YOU GUYS, an engaging storyline, and is just a charming DnD-esque adventure throughout. And that's just seven episodes - that's right. Season 1 of Epithet Erased has seven beautifully made episodes that you can watch on YouTube/VRV now right on your computer or phone or whatever!

Seriously, I do not kid you, this series has the potential to be as good if not better than shows like "Avatar: the Last Airbender", it's that brilliant. And again, IT ONLY HAS SEVEN EPISODES SO FAIR! It'll only take you, like, three hours to watch them all at most! So really, you don't have an excuse NOT to watch this wonderfully made series! I implore you to give it a look - you will not regret it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMesNJy06kM&ab_channel=ChimericalNightcoreChimericalNightcore

#phineas and ferb #pnf #epithet erased #epithets #phineas flynn #isabella garcia shapiro #ferb fletcher #candace flynn #dr doofenshmirtz #baljeet tjinder #buford van stomm #seriously you guys watch Epithet Erased it's literally the best thing since sliced bread #it isn't even that long!#it'll take you like three hours to watch at max #it's such a great series I can't stop talking about it aaaaaahhhhhh

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impulstor · 3 years

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explanations behind my song choice for my 3lsmp playlist under the read more! keep in mind, some of these songs don't really have a reason beyond just... vibes. and that some ideas have changed over time. anyway!

playlist here

anti-hero — originally added as an etho song, and still applies. with him being prepared to fight & kill for ren + the rest of the red army. also, he tends to be a bit unpredictable and has a very different moral standing from someone like, say, martyn.

kill the sun — fits with the series as a whole, with shifting alliances and friendships, and with people killing and being killed by one another.

special — this ones for all the mfs who didn't pick a side until really late, or were bouncing between factions for a while 💪. especially for tango, as an example, making friends with someone who he can also consider his enemy, and being completely unsure where he stands in any group, though he wants to have their faith.

villain — this song is just really good for making a mental amv for lmao. it's good for demonstrating differing alliances n sides, n of course that applies here.

oh, death — not a lot of specific thoughts for this, just. yknow, death, vibes, dying for someone, watching your friend die, etc.

6up 5oh cop-out — first of all, I'm just a slut for will wood sometimes. second, a lot of the lyrics on their own could 100% be applied to events in the series (I mean I did use some from it for my etho n tango drawing for funsies) so. it's a strange song but the vibes fit well, in my opinion :]

kill of the night — a bit self explanatory, I think. in a series about trying to outlive, and to eventually kill your friends? no doubt you're going to end up hunting certain people down, hmmm? revenge, n all that. works well for multiple characters, really.

you're gonna go far, kid — impulse. just like. tango, or maybe etho, at impulse. "with a thousand lies and a good disguise, hit em right between the eyes" I meaaan 🤔 how is it NOT impulse lmao

kill the lights — once again, killing, death, murder, yknow. good vibes. also people lying and betraying one another, and watching as their friends and enemies die in front of them, people being changed by the events that transpire.. also technically they ARE actors sooo. kill the actor, yknow

mad IQs — mostly this song just slaps (thank you eexer 🙏) but also the lyrics fit well with the events! death, murder, killing your friends, burning. there is a lot of fire.

go get your gun — works very well for the whole war goin on. one side vs another, fighting and losing allies, fighting to win for their fallen allies, cheating fate if they DO win. also the line "when this is over, we'll raise a glass straight up to the sun" could be seen as like. everyone coming together to be friends once it's all over bc they are!

c'est la vie — it fits well. bad things happen, you lose people, you hurt, karma kicks your ass, but that's just life, and that's the game. c'est la vie.

i'm gonna win — fits for how they're all fighting to be the last one standing. and also with having to work through literally dying and to not give up, if you want to win.

mr capgras... — once again, I just like will wood. also fits well with people fighting each other, mostly with the chorus. "you'll never take me alive" / "you better pray that I die" likjkeeeee 👀 you could make art fitting those lyrics tbh

curses — red & green duos (at least. when they were intact :/) sticking together, taking care of one another when everything is going to hell, people are dying, and it's getting intense. they trust each other, at least.

under the pressure — don't really have something specific, it just fits well, with the lyrics. honestly this one fits well as a skizz song, now that I'm thinking about it. he went from trying to be friends with a lotta people to taking two out for good and went out in a blaze of glory. yea. that's what I got lol

everybody wants to rule the world — I dont think I really need an explanation for this one. it just fits well with everyone trying to win the whole game, and with everything slowly ramping up in intensity

rebels — for scar and grian being crime bros for the first while :] everything IS burning, good for them!

outrunning karma — impulse once again. playing everyone, playing to everyones good sides as much as he could, until the act didnt matter anymore. but karma might really kick him in the ass, if he ends up as one of the last survivors, and others turn on him for betraying everyone earlier on.

you're nobody til somebody wants you dead — shrug emoji. just fits well mostly. friends fighting eachother, betrayal, yadda yadda.

thanks i hate it — mmm,, tango? idk, im just a tango enjoyer, and he has spent quite a bit of effort trying to please certain groups to like. no avail. especially team crastle. like tbh he was solidly on board with em for a while, and mightve gone back to them on his own. but cleo blackmailed him anyway. rip tango.

the riddle — ALL OF IT. the whole series. it fits

crazy = genius — i dont rly like brendan urie like at all. so i might remove it from the playlist at some point. but it does fit with scar and grian being villains.

icarus — mmm fits well with grian. with the wing imagery, and with the fact that he made SO many enemies by working with scar. and he never reaallllyyyyy apologized, did he? he's walking a dangerous line, with few allies,

cradles — idk lmao. vibes only.

wolf in sheeps clothing — impulse again mostly lol. sung by skizz or etho probably. betrayal <3

how villains are made — again, for those neutral parties that had to choose a side. its about being torn between two sides & having to choose. honestly, I could see it fitting bigb, if he does some funky villain stuff next session. he deserves it I think <3

killing butterflies — trauma, ouchie, angst, murder your friends. everything hurts.

king — ren!! that's it.

little lion man — bruh if ren dies and leaves martyn alone.... ghost ren to martyn.... ouch.

gives you hell — red army @ sand people. specifically etho and ren get to be petty at scar i think

wine red — [gestures vaguely] all of it

i bet my life — red and green duos again. though it could be after some of them permadie.

miss missing you — (thanks again eexer this one also slaps <3) ouch impulse and tango angst. or impulse and etho angst. OR etho and tango angst. THEM. :(

youth — all of it but like. after it's over. just like going back and looking at how it all went down.

a gorey demise — i just think it would be fun to animate everyone's different deaths to this song tbh

another one bites the dust — they are once again Dying. but it's not angsty and dramatic this time.

god rest ye merry gentlemen — 😔 the whole thing again. pain

#GOD this is so long omg #i spent an hour on this lol #.txt #3rdlifesmp #3lsmp #sorry if these dont make sense im not good at words

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starglossie · 3 years

Text

how can we deny what we feel?

summary: where cherry is joe’s date for a dinner party because he lost a beef. and when joe gives himself a chance to truly consider how beautiful cherry is. and how they nearly get into a brawl in the middle of the dance floor, because their love language has and always will be: fight first, fall in love later. rating: e for explicit! wc: 4.7k! pairing: matchablossom !!! CAN BE READ ON AO3 + under the read more below!

“Excuse me?”

Kojiro anticipated the dirty, crumpled napkin, hurled his way and dodges just in time. Kaoru’s eyes widen and his eyebrows are crunched so hard Kojiro’s convinced they’ll connect by sheer force alone. His cheeks are red. His lips are pulled upwards into a snarl. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Just for a weekend,” Kojiro continued while Kaoru looked for a fork. Or a knife. Probably both. “It’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

“Once! One time! That was the promise!” Kaoru hisses and Kojiro is so close to losing it.

“Okay, well, you know what they say about the second time being the charm… Don’t give me that look!” he takes a purposeful step back as Kaoru leans forward to grab him by the collar. “Listen. It’s for the restaurant. It’ll only be for a few hours. And the food will be delicious.”

Kaoru’s expression barely shifted, but it’s one Kojiro noticed. A little acquiescence to the idea of good food- free, good food. Something Kaoru could never deny. Kojiro grinned. Kaoru’s shoulders visibly relaxed, though he was still on edge. That’s also nothing surprising.

“... You think I’m so cheap to be bought by food, you brainless musclehead gorilla ?”

Kojiro’s eyebrow twitched. “I absolutely think you are, gearhead . Anyways, you lost the beef.” he crossed his arms over his chest, smug. “I’m just entertaining your back and forth at this point. You know the rules.”

If there was a bet made during a beef, the losing party had to abide by the terms the winning party set out. Kojiro knew this. Kaoru definitely knew this. He was just being stubborn. And really, if the roles were reversed, Kojiro would be doing the same thing. But they’re not. So he’s enjoying every second of it.

“I hate you,” Kaoru mumbled, stabbing his fork into his steak Kojiro made.

“The feeling’s mutual. So 8 o’clock. Be ready. And don’t bring Carla.”

“Huh? That’s not a part of the deal! Carla comes or I don’t come.”

“Do you have separation anxiety? She’ll be fine. She told me she needs space from you to spread her AI wings and fly.”

“She would never speak to you or say anything like that. Carla comes .”

Kaoru’s stubbornness was going to be the death of Kojiro. He was sure of it. “Alright. Alright she comes. But she’s on mute .”

Kaoru opened his mouth and then promptly slammed it shut. “Fine. And one more thing.” he said, though it was much quieter than his earlier words.

Kojiro raised an eyebrow. Waiting for Kaoru to speak. When he does, it's like he hadn’t spoken at all. “Huh? Speak up! Stop acting like you’re all shy!”

“I-” Kaoru’s frustration was apparent. Kojiro braced himself for a hit but what came instead was… not expected. “No repeats. Of last time. Strictly platonic.”

Ah. And maybe, at this point, a physical punch would have been better. Kojiro can’t tell why his stomach curled into a horrible twist or the sharp twinge that followed. Can’t explain why his brain suddenly went into overdrive about why and what does he mean as if he wasn’t aware of what Kaoru was referring to.

He remembered the heat. And nails down his back. And the cramped fit of the closet. And being on his knees.

Was this feeling, the weird heat up his neck, disappointment?

Better play it off.

“Cool with me,” Kojiro shrugged it off. He picked up Kaoru’s plate and placed it in the sink. “We go. We mingle. We leave. In and out. Easy peasy.”

He carefully watched Kaoru’s expression and body. How the man’s shoulders still seemed taut with tension. How his frown deepened even further and his eyebrows were bunched so tightly, Kojiro feared they’d magically meld together and form one, pink unibrow. Kaoru wouldn’t look at him. But Kojiro caught the red tinge on the tip of his ears, and held back the urge to snort.

Sometimes he was so easy to read.

“In and out,” Kaoru finally said, agreeing.

“Easy peasy,” Kojiro repeated, smiling.

Dinner parties were never really Kojiro’s things.

Sure, they were fun. Especially when he got a few drinks in his system. And socializing was never a problem for him. Well, until he socialized a little too much. To the point where two people were fighting to see who went home with him. Cliche, horribly so, and happened a lot more than he would think it would-now that he gave it a little bit of thought. But then again, he had two hands-so why fight?

That normally worked.

As he adjusted his tie, he looked towards the suit hanging by his mirror. He really hated suits. They felt tight around his shoulders and arms always . He was a big guy, with a lot of muscle. He’d rather wear loose jackets, or no shirt at all.

Really, this was all for formalities. A lot of investors and restaurant connoisseurs came to these kind of fancy smancy events. He’d rather be out skating. Out feeling the wind in his hair and the open road before him. Rather than feeling the gel in his hair, and the sparkling lights of chandeliers and designer jewelry. Had to be done, though. For the sake of business. If he wanted to keep his place afloat, he had to show up to these things at least once. Get his face out there. Make nice with people. Laugh at the right jokes. And then steal a platter of shrimp cocktails before heading home.

And then there was Kaoru.

This wasn’t the first time he’s done this. Gone with Kaoru to one of these events. The first time it happened spurred from a late night, drunken conversation. When Kojiro had gotten a look at Kaoru's back profile, with his hair over his shoulder and his elegant stance-proud, sure, strong. And immediately thought about how Kaoru would look on his arm, done up in a different way from his usual attire.

“Be my date for this dinner party,” Kojiro slurred, his smile coming across nice and easy.

Kaoru frowned, confused. “Huh? Why?”

“Because you’re beautiful,” Kojiro had said aloud. Faster than he could catch them. But the words were already out in the air. And really, Kojiro was never one to go back on something once he’s said it.

He watched as Kaoru’s face exploded in a brilliant shade of red. All the way to the tip of his ears. Kaoru didn’t speak. His mouth opened, but no sound came out. Instead, he had reached for his glass. Downed whatever whiskey was left. And quietly, but fiercely, responded-

“Fine.”

That same night ended with them in a closet. Also drunk, but this time a little better dressed than Kojiro in one of his casual t-shirts and Kaoru in his casual kimono. How did they get into the closet? Kojiro wasn’t sure.

But did they have fun in the closet?

As much as Kojiro remembered, they did.

“No repeats,” he said to himself in the mirror. He wasn’t upset. Not really. Hooking up with Kaoru was not on the top of his list. But it did reside on his list. If he had to have a moment of honesty with himself as he stared at the reflection in his mirror.

He slipped into his suit the same time as the door to his room opened. He caught Kaoru first in the mirror, and turned around immediately to get the full view.

His hair was loose. Not in its usual high pony or low pony. But free. Kojiro had rarely seen Kaoru’s hair out since high school. He normally kept it tied up because he hated how it got into his hair. He didn’t have his glasses on. And he wore a brilliant purple kimono.

Kojiro’s throat went dry.

“What?” Kaoru fidgeted and Kojiro realized he must have been staring a little too intently.

Kojiro beamed, from ear to ear. “You really know how to sweep a guy off his feet. I should have known your pride wouldn’t let you come dressed anything less than your best.”

“Well, I have a rep to uphold,” Kaoru sniffed.

“Right right. The purple is actually a good choice. It brings out my eyes.”

“You’re the most annoying individual to ever grace the earth.”

“Thanks, I try. Ready to go?”

They arrived fashionably late.

Kojiro never liked to be on time for things. Kaoru liked to be on time for things a little too much.

So yes, maybe Kojiro did take an extra five minutes for them to do a shot of courage before leaving his place just to waste time and get on Kaoru’s nerves.

Absolutely worth it.

“You wanna drink?”

“No,” Kaoru said, folding his arms across his chest.

Kojiro shrugged and reached out for a champagne flute by a passing waiter. “Suit yourself. You’re gonna regret it later, though.” Kojiro could never get through this party without being a little drunk. Just for funsies.

“We already drank before we came here.”

“One shot is not drinking.”

Kaoru rolled his eyes and stalked off towards the buffet table. Kojiro watched as he left, gaze intent. Kaoru was usually a bundle of spikes and clenched jaws. However, when he was walking through the crowd Kojiro couldn’t deny the elegance and grace Kaoru swiftly adopted.

Shoulders high, gaze straight and resolute, and striding with purpose. Kojiro carefully sipped his drink watching as the crowd of sparkling individuals quite literally parted for Kaoru.

“He sure knows how to command a room,” Kojiro murmured. He scanned the crowd to see if any of the usual, important connections were there. He had at least three people he needed to follow up with about inventory, marketing, and promotions. So with another sip he slipped into the crowd himself to mingle.

Mingling was easy. It didn’t take much for Kojiro to find what a person loved to hear and then, repeat those very same words like silver and silk to get what he needed. Conversation was never something Kojiro struggled to cultivate. Once he painted on his smile and adjusted his body language as open, friendly, and warm-the rest was quite easy.

“Are you by yourself tonight, Kojiro?” Hana was one of Kojiro’s important connections in the restaurant business. She was beautiful and quick witted. Any restaurant in Okinawa who wanted to stay on top of the latest trends knew it was best to have her on their side then against them. She was, quite literally, the pulse of their social circle.

Kojiro’s eyes cut through the crowd slowly. He found Kaoru at the buffet table chatting with a man Kojiro didn’t recognize. Kaoru was engaging pleasantly. No doubt putting on his fake, charming persona to engage the man with.

“Hmmm,” he debated what to answer. He could say no. And see if that would lead to Hana offering to go off, just the two of them. They’ve hooked up before at one of these functions. And she was always a fun company to be around.

But then he saw the man talking to Kaoru lean forward. Whispering something in Kaoru’s ear that made him flinch.

“I am,” he said to her, smiling. And then took off to where Kaoru was.

Kaoru caught Kojiro’s gaze as Kojiro was walking over, and Kojiro immediately caught the tense aura surrounding Kaoru like a cloak.

“Kaoru,” Kojiro made his voice syrupy sweet, slipping an arm around Kaoru’s waist. Kaoru leaned in, pressed to his side. A part of Kojiro’s brain said this is right . He shut that part down. “Sorry to make you wait. I was catching up with some friends.” His gaze cut to the man who looked much smaller up close now that Kojiro had a good look at him. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, don’t mind me!” the man smiled shakily. “I was just complimenting your date’s attire, as all.”

“Did you have to lean so closely to do it?” Kojiro asked. “Surely you can respect another’s need for space and leave them be, no?”

“Kojiro,” Kaoru muttered. He placed a warning hand on Kojiro’s chest and then flashed the man a dazzling smile. “Don’t mind my date. He’s overprotective as all. Though I’d appreciate that if we ever have the unfortunate experience of crossing paths again, you don’t try to touch me so inappropriately in such a casual manner.” when Kaoru opened his eyes again they were sharp, and cutting. “Now begone.”

The man scurried off into the crowd without another word.

Kojiro watched him go, laughing. “Man he can haul ass.” More seriously, he asked. “Are you okay?”

Kaoru yanked himself out of Kojiro’s arm. Kojiro looked down at the now empty space and frowned. “Fine. Did you have to do all that? I was capable of handling it myself.”

“You looked uncomfortable. What sort of date would I be if I didn’t come to your defense?”

“Oh please. Don’t act like you’re a gentleman when you were off flirting with some woman.”

“Who?”

“Don’t play dumb! The woman who was hanging off your arm!”

“Hana?” Kojiro asked, slowly. “We weren’t flirting.” then a beat later, “Yet.”

Kaoru scowled, muttering a curse Kojiro couldn’t hear but definitely felt. A waiter with a tray of champagne glasses walked by. Kaoru waved them over and grabbed two glasses. He downed them with scary efficiency and placed the empty glasses on the table. “I’m going out for some air. Don’t follow me.”

Kojiro could have let Kaoru walk away from him again, tonight. But something in him wanted Kaoru to stay. Maybe this was another one of his urges to push the boundaries between them. Or, maybe, it was something within Kojiro that still felt irked having seen that man get a little too close to Kaoru.

Whatever it was, Kojiro reached out and grabbed Kaoru’s wrist.

Kaoru turned back, glowering at their hands. “What?”

“Let’s dance,” Kojiro responded, smiling.

Kaoru balked, “Excuse me?”

The music turned into a slow tempo and Kojiro just continued grinning as he led Kaoru to the dance floor. “Dance. You and me. Do something a little different from getting incredibly wasted, stuffing ourselves with food, and then passing out in the Uber home.”

“That sounds much better than this idea,” Kaoru said but he still allowed himself to be pulled. And when Kojiro looked back, he could see a blush coating his cheeks.

Cute , Kojiro thought. There were people on the dance floor, some chatting and some dancing with their dates. Kojiro wouldn’t call himself a dancer. But he’d been to enough of these events to know a few basic steps. He placed one hand on Kaoru’s waist, and grasped one of Kaoru’s hands in his own.

“I’ll lead,” he smirked.

“I’m going to step on all ten of your toes,” Kaoru smirked back.

Kojiro threw his head back and laughed as he led them through the dance. “Please do! I’d love to see you try, metalhead.”

“Metalhead? I’ll have you know per your request I haven’t even unmuted Carla, you monkey in a monkey suit.”

“Monkey in a monkey suit? Is that the best you can come up with?”

That earned him a stomp but it was well deserved. The two continued bickering back and forth through the dance, much to the amusement of anyone who caught them. It was truly comical. Kojiro turned them around and around while Kaoru barked insults and Kojiro threw back as good as he got.

When the song ended, the two’s foreheads were pressed together. Their hands were now interlocked in a fierce embrace as they snarled at each other.

“I didn’t even want to come! Meanwhile you basically blackmail me to come-”

“-You lost the beef, idiot!”

“Shut up! Don’t talk about that here! You brainless meathead! And then you have the audacity to flirt with someone woman when I’m your date!”

“Oh so I’m just supposed to turn away people who come talk to me while my date is getting himself felt up by somebody else?”

“You act like I wanted that to happen! I was ten seconds from ripping all his fingers off!”

“If you weren’t gonna do it, I was!”

“All you do is talk and talk and talk! That’s why I can never take you seriously. Because all the talk you speak is just empty flattery to everyone and everyone! You drive me crazy .”

“You’re the only person I never just chat to! You’re the only person I’m ever serious with!” God when did his voice get so loud. And when did their faces get so close. And when did Kaoru’s face get so slack, so shocked. What did he say? What had he said?

The weight of his words finally crashed. He felt like he’d just wiped out on the track.

Kaoru leaned back. “What…” he said slowly, carefully choosing his words. “Do you mean by that?”

They’re on the dance floor in stupid, fancy attire. Amongst stupid, fancy people that Kojiro had to woo and smooze once every few months. Yet it’s in this moment where the chandelier is above them and the violin strings are softly building up momentum and Kojiro is filling the champagne in his veins and he can’t help but think. Think that in Kaoru’s rage he is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

At this moment, he could run. He could put on his pretty words and regulate Kaoru to everyone else, like he said. With pretty words and pretty lies and shallow promises.

But it was Kaoru.

And Kaoru was always different.

“It means. It means, I like you, Kaoru.”

The music stops. Kojiro’s feel his entire face heat up. Kaoru’s face turned a brilliant red and he’s so beautiful. God he’s so beautiful. Why had Kojiro never allowed himself to see that? To allow himself the ability to gaze upon the most beautiful man he’s ever had the pleasure of calling his best friend.

Why has he not kissed him yet?

Kojiro pulled Kaoru back, until his arms were around his waist. Their foreheads touched again, and he could feel Kaoru’s heart pounding. And Kojiro’s remembering when they were drunk in the closet. And how he wished they weren’t in the closet, but back at his place. Getting to know each other. Getting to learn each other’s bodies. Getting to slowly fall in love with the parts of themselves they’ve always known, but now they could experience one another in a whole different fashion.

He wanted that so badly he could taste it.

“I like you,” he said, softer. He closed his eyes. And he’s not sure if his pulse quickens out of fear or exhilaration.

“Kojiro,” Kaoru’s voice sounded strained. Kojiro opened his eyes, Kaoru’s face was still bright. His eyes shining with something Kojiro couldn’t quite place. But then Kaoru’s leaning forward, and their lips almost touch. “Take me home.”

If Kojiro didn’t know Kaoru so well, he would have taken those words as rejection. But Kaoru was gripping his shoulders tightly. Biting his bottom lip. Glancing down at Kojiro’s lips and then back again.

“Yeah. Yeah ok.”

“Is this alright?” Kojiro asked, as he placed a soft kiss on Kaoru’s neck.

Kaoru gripped Kojiro’s shoulders, “You keep asking me that. I’ll punch you if I don’t like it.”

Kojiro frowned, lifting himself up. “One, don’t do that. And two, you said you didn’t want any repeats. I want to respect that. So tell me, now. If you want to keep going, or if you don’t.”

He’d respect it. Even if every nerve in his body was screaming to be inside Kaoru and feel him down to the wire, if this wasn’t something Kaoru wanted to do tonight-he’d respect that. No questions asked.

Kaoru glanced up at him, and Kojiro got such a glance of how wrecked Kaoru looked already. His lips were red and glistening from their earlier kissing. His pupils were blown and his kimono was slipping off his shoulders. The sight was… so much. It made Kojiro’s cock ache tightly against his pants.

“Thank you,” Kaoru said softly. Then his hand moved to cup Kojiro’s hardening cock through his pants. He stroked a few times. Kojiro moaned, head dropping forward and hips shallowly moving into the touch. “I appreciate your concern, but.” his thumb traced the tip of Kojiro’s cock. He was too good with this. Moving his hand up and down Kojiro’s hardening erection like he was making brush strokes. “I want this.”

“Are you sure?” Kojiro gritted his teeth as Kaoru gave him a particular squeeze.

“Yes, you idiot.” Kaoru wrapped his legs around Kojiro’s waist, pulling him close. He leaned up so his lips were near Kojiro’s ears, “I want you to fuck me. Make a mess of me. I want to feel it tomorrow morning.”

Kojiro didn’t really need to be told twice. He stripped out of his shirt and jacket until he was just in his pants. Where he unzipped himself and freed his cock. He reached over to the bedside table where his lube and condoms were.

Kaoru started stroking Kojiro’s cock with his. Kojiro groaned, dropping his head to Kaoru’s shoulder as Kaoru worked them slowly. “You’re far too fucking good at this.”

“I know,” Kaoru replied, smug.

Kojiro snorted and kissed him again. “Hold on, stop.” Kaoru did as he was told, and Kojiro spread Kaoru’s legs wide as he kissed down the slope of his body. Kaoru’s cock was leaking, strained against his belly. Kojiro pressed a kiss to the head. His own cock twitching as Kaoru sighed in pleasure.

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about sucking Kaoru off again. He never thought the opportunity would arise. Now that it had, he wasted no time swallowing Kaoru to the base.

Kaoru’s hips raised off the bed. He moaned Kojiro loudly as his hands fell to Kojiro’s hair. Kojiro hummed, his tongue running along the underside of Kaoru’s cock. He pulled off with a pop after a few sucks. With the lube, he poured some over his fingers and began to slowly work open Kaoru. There was some resistance at first, but he made sure to go slow. First, with one finger, and then another, and finally-a third.

He watched as Kaoru became an utter mess. Writhing and cursing, an arm flown over to cover his face. Kojiro kissed the inside of Kaoru’s thighs, feeling them tremor and shake. He kissed up and up until he was at the base of Kaoru’s cock. As he thrust his fingers forward, working him open, he licked Kaoru from the base to the tip. He suckled on the head, swirling his tongue around and into the slit of Kaoru’s cock.

“Fucking Kojiro , stop being a tease.” Kaoru pushed at Kojiro’s shoulder. “In me. Put it in me.”

Kojiro slipped Kaoru out of his mouth as he removed his fingers. He reached for the condom on the bed and ripped open the packet with his mouth before rolling the condom onto his cock. “I should have known even in bed you’d be super demanding.”

“Yeah yeah,” Kaoru rolled his eyes and pulled Kojiro closer. “I should have known even with my dick in my mouth you can’t shut up.”

“It’s part of my charm,” Kojiro grinned as their tongues met, a sloppy intertwining as he lined himself at Kaoru’s entrance. He pulled back so he could guide himself slowly, feeling Kaoru’s walls stretching to his size. He sank until he was inside, fully. Groaning at the heat. Kaoru was so tight . He was so tight. Kojiro had never felt something sweet. Nothing better.

He held onto Kaoru’s thighs, lifting them up so Kaoru was angled slightly off the bed. “You okay?” he asked, voice tight.

Kaoru exhaled slowly, nodding. “Go slow. I’ll adjust.”

Kojiro obeyed. He eased himself out slowly and slid back in just the same. Kaoru’s soft gasp at the thrust sent a warm jolt down Kojiro’s spine. Their pace was gentle, as he took the time to work Kaoru open, in and out. Kojiro went in for another kiss. Their lips wet, and tongues sliding against each other.

Kojiro’s fingers curled around Kaoru’s hips, and he snapped forward with a roll that had Kaoru gasping his name into Kojiro’s mouth for him to swallow.

“Faster, there.” Kaoru commanded.

“Yes,” Kojiro snapped his hips forward again while he picked up the pace.

Kojiro threw his head back and moaned. Kojiro dipped forward, sweat coating his brow, to kiss and mark up and leave Kaoru’s neck a red mess.

“You feel so good,” Kojiro moaned while he fucked Kaoru. “So so good. I’ve thought of this. Of me fucking you. Me kissing you. Like this. You feel better than expected.”

“Shut up. Shut up, Kojiro. You’re so cheesy-Ah!” Kojiro’s next thrust hit the right spot, it seemed. Once found Kojiro angled his hips so he could hit that pressure inside of Kaoru again and again.

Kaoru couldn’t speak. He could only moan and let loose curses as they continued. Their hips meeting each other for every thrust. Until Kaoru reached down between their bodies. Grasped his dick in his hands, and jerked himself off shakily.

Kojiro grabbed his hand and placed it above Kaoru’s head. Kaoru growled but Kojiro leaned forward to kiss him. “No. Let me make you cum. I want to.” Kojiro released Kaoru’s hands and leaned forward, pressing his weight on Kaoru, and rolled his hips with deep, quick thrusts. Kaoru grasped onto Kojiro’s back, nails digging into his skin. Every word out of his mouth was of pleasures, moans and gasps and moans and gasps until his breath started hitching.

He rolled his hips frantically, cock leaking and hard and pressed between their stomachs. With a few more thrusts, Kojiro felt Kaoru’s walls tighten around his cock and felt wetness spurt between their bodies.

“ Kojiro ,” Kaoru groaned as he came. Kojiro fucked him through his orgasm, holding him tightly as he felt his own come upon him. He groaned Kaoru’s name into his neck, fingers gripping tightly upon Kaoru’s back. His whole body shook with the force of his orgasm.

After a few moments to catch his breath, Kojiro pulled out of Kaoru and rolled over. He took off the condom, tied it, and deposited it by the trash can by his bed.

He turned back onto the bed. Laying on his side as Kaoru laid spread out, his entire skin a soft pink. His kimono ruffled. His hair all over the place. And beautiful. Utterly beautiful.

Kaoru looked up at him, as Kojiro looked down, and their lips naturally found their way to one another. They kissed lazily, with no rush to start another round and no rush to kick each other out.

Kojiro leaned back, pulling Kaoru to lay on top of him. Kaoru frowned but he didn’t make any moves to get away.

“You’re sweaty.”

“So are you, Kaoru.”

“You’re sweatier.”

“Oh my God can we just bask in the afterglow of some bomb sex, please?”

“You like me.” Kaoru said instead.

Kojiro had the audacity to look embarrassed, “You’re … I-yes?”

“Since when?”

“Uh… honestly? Probably since, high school.”

‘Since high school !”

“Listen! I just recently realized tonight I like you, ok! I’m just saying that I’ve probably always liked you since back then and didn’t know until… now.”

“God, you’re an idiot.” Kaoru huffed and dropped his head onto Kojiro’s chest.

Kojiro chuckled, running his hands through Kaoru’s hair. “That I am. Yo, you gonna tell me you like me too or did you just use me for sex?”

He felt Kaoru’s mouth move against his chest, but whatever he said was too quiet for Kojiro to hear.

“Huh? What was that? Can you speak up please?”

“I said I like you.”

“What was that?”

“I SAID I LIKE YOU, YOU IDIOT. YOU BUFFOON. YOU OVERSEXED GORILLA.”

Kojiro’s laughter rang through his room as he flipped them over and kissed Kaoru all over his face.

“Since high school too, right?” Kojiro asked, laughing between the kisses.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“ Knew it. ” Kojiro was grinning ear to ear. He smiled down at Kaoru’s scowling face that soon transformed into a small smile in return. Kaoru wrapped his arms around Kojiro’s neck and pulled him in for a sloppier kiss, all tongue and saliva.

“Congrats. Now fuck me again.”

“ Anything for you, Kaoru.”

#my fics #matchablossom #sk8 joe #sk8 cherry #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #read on ao3 #also on ao3

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itsnullandvoid · 4 years

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a list of everything id change about the human body

- I want 360 vision, I don't really care if there are multiple eyeballs surrounding the head or like one or two long ones that wrap around the skull, I don't care but the fact that I cannot see behind me vexes and haunts me everyday of my life

- while on the topic of senses I also want taste and touch decreased and hearing increased. touch is pointless. things feel awful and I don't need to feel them in 4k I'm good. also things would taste much better if they didn't taste so that's gonna go too. and ears just gotta be better. I envy pray animals who man move them at will because that seems so useful, although it would alert other people you were scared or listening and my anxious ass can't really handle that but I want spinning ears regardless.

- either get rid of toes completely, they are pointless and make me uncomfortable, they gotta go OR they gotta be webbed, maybe a mix of both, toes don't make sense, why are they there, why can I move them freely, I hate it goodbye, either aid in water travel or leave

- I'm not a fan of butts like it seems unsanitary idk they're just weird and aren't even they're own thing they're just the top of the thigh I'm not really sure how is change that but something's gotta change with that.

- the uterine lining will only develop AFTER conception. It's a waste of energy, hormones, and proteins that could be used in other areas for the menstruation cycle to occur every month and it's awful, think of how powerful afab people would be if we didn't totally waste all that energy every single month

- On the topic of afab reproduction why are boobs a thing??? like I don't get it. Why don't they just grow during pregnancy I don't understand make them leave I don't want them they're literally pointless and get in the way and cause discomfort and I'm CIS like I will never understand that like I understand yadda yadda it helps show fertility or whatever but I don't care my fertility levels are no one else's business thank you very much and if like to get rid of these indicators

- I feel like humans in general should be like sea creatures where the genitals are internal and when the do occurs they come out like sharks like one it would give a totally knew meaning to the term Dicks out and I think that's fun but also why is it necessary that everything's all hanging out all the time I don't like it it seems unsanitary not a fan keep that inside

- I'm not really a big fan of elbows or knees like why is the skin to thin there?? That's four points on the human body that are probably most vulnerable to falls and everyday damage, they should be heartier, I say we move the fat that accumulates on the ass to the knees and elbows for added durability and protection because I am clumsy and have to many scars on me knees and elbows to prove it

-id like spines to be more mobile, like I feel like this wouldn't be as much of an issue with the 360 vision but I'd like all of my bones to be able to bend slightly for better mobility

-i wanna make lungs just like bigger, for two reasons one to hold air for longer to again help in water environments, and also to tell louder for longer because I can never hear people and I feel like if they had bigger lungs that wouldn't happen

-while we're at it let's add hills just for funsies, it would make all sea creatures much easier to catch for food or to domesticate for pets and while I recognize the fact that humans can't handle the responsibility of hills and would destroy the ocean much faster but like you know

-going back to sexes, get rid of them, they actually don't matter. Everyone's androgynous, “masculinity” and “femininity” are pointless concepts that aid no one and I think everyone's life would be easier without them, they're will still be two sexes but there are no biological differences except one will have a uterus and one will have a penis but again because all that's internal and the uterus will lie dormant until impregnated even looking at someone naked you wouldn't be able to tell what sex they are, both sexes are completely equal in hormone levels

-actually no get rid of sexes entirely, everyone has a uterus and a dick everyone everyone's got everything but again it doesn't really matter because it's all internal and dormant until the do occurs

-hair should grow faster and at equal rates, it makes me uncomfortable that some hair grows faster than others, mainly I want the hair on my head to grow faster so when I fuck it up I don't have to face the consequences

-make fingers able to be completely mobile on their own, it recently came to my attention that my first three fingers are more mobile and usful than the other two, either get rid of the other two or give me five thumbs. I'm gonna stick with five because five is a nice evening number so that's alright, note this is Only for the hands, we don't need this on the feet get rid of toes

-get rid of lips, what are they??? They're just sensitive and prone to be chapped, like our lives would only be easier if the skin around our mouths weren't unnecessarily sensitive it doesn't make sense

-give me more color receptors. I want to see what the mantis shrimp does, this literally keeps me awake at night I want more colors, this doesn't really add anything and I know that if I had them I probably wouldn't appreciate them because dogs to humans are kinda like humans to mantis shrimp and I wonder if my dog looks at me in envy because I can see what he can't and I live in regret with that and kinda makes me think that even if I did have more color receptors I'd probably just want more and more because humans constantly want what they can't have but you know

anyways I thinks that's all for now, sorry this got way longer than I thought it would but the human form vexes me constantly and I hate it and if be so much happier if I was a no physical being so yee

#i just dislike this form #the human body sucks #anatomy #oh to be a ghost

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silyabeeodess · 4 years

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FusionFall: Thoughts on the Latest Update

So...guess who played through the whole update in one sitting?

I don’t usually give my thoughts on games themselves--if I do, it’s typically in regards to story and worldbuilding rather than gameplay--but there was so much to unpack with this that I feel like I want to cover some points. Some of this is just my personal thoughts, some of this will be a critique, and some of this--since I do post headcanons, stories, and a few theories--will be in regards to my approach on those now that we’ve been given new information. As this will contain spoilers, I’m leaving the info below the cut. That said, let’s begin:

To start out, I’d like to cover progression. I played with my lvl. 36 character, like I’m sure many of you have/will, and while I can’t speak for anyone playing this and receiving these missions on lower levels--when they’ll be getting other missions and the Nanos they need to level up at possibly the same time--as a result, I felt that the new World Nano missions we were given flowed really nicely. One thing that is both a gift and a curse with FusionFall is that, while it has vast areas to explore, rather than level up following a singular route like some games, you can do a bit of running around if you don’t stack your missions properly. Luckily, this doesn’t feel tedious simply because there is so much to explore and thanks to the quick travel system. However, for more experienced players who have already run through everything, I could see this being a little stale. The newer missions ran a pretty set path within a mostly singular route, so you could run from destination to destination rather than hopping from the different areas in the game. If they add updates with a similar scale, I hope they continue with this trend.

There were two new locations to explore in the game: Harada-Bridges Records and a digital world. Both are amazing!! I’m a sucker for this kind of worldbuilding anyway--I’ve made a huge list of products, stores, etc. in FusionFall and the Cartoon Networks shows just so I can pull them in to my stories rather than use generic stuff--but this took the cake. The team didn’t need to go this far, but they did. And I love them for it. The record studio had posters for bands and refs to some of the cartoons, it added more to the lore with the Gangreen gang and fleshed them out a bit, and they just looked awesome. I mean, look at this: The first words out of my mouth on seeing the digital world were literally, “Oh Mama!”

It’s not anything super complicated, but it has this awesome, almost Tron-like aesthetic that’s just beautiful. The glowing walls with shifting colors was a great touch and the enemies fit perfectly into this.

Speaking of enemies, let’s get to them and the new combat introduced. 99% of the time, unless it’s for an event, I play solo. (It’s just what I’ve always done.) And at this point, I’ve gotten pretty good handling the controls for the game if I do say so myself. Not that they’re overly complicated: Once you remember the buttons and what you need to look out for, you’re pretty golden.

Some of the combat introduced actually surprised me.

The enemies themselves weren’t anything too original, a lot of them we’ve seen before, but some of their abilities will catch you off guard if you’re unprepared. There’s a fusion monster that splits into two upon death that you have to beat, and then you later have to fight three Fusions at once, some of your Nanos abilities do nothing, and they’re constantly blasting away at you. I died once to the 3 Fusions, but handled myself pretty well: It did, however, force me to rethink my strategy in a way I never had before, which was refreshing. I couldn’t even attempt to take on one Fusion at a time in the group by luring one away because all of them reacted, so I ended up having to run around constantly as I was attacking in order to avoid getting bombed by fusion blasts. I like this experiment, as it breaks the old formula and gives the average player a new challenge without becoming frustrating. I hope the team continues this!

One thing that is frustrating though, and it’s been a problem since before the update, has to do with the fusion matter in Fuse’s Lair. Keep in mind, while I’m fighting three teams of three Fusions one right after the other, I only see one Revive ‘Em all the way at the start on the map, which is huge. (I got a bit frustrated back when I had to battle Fuse because the Revive ‘Em for that was pretty far too, so I constantly kept having to run back to Fuse through a course of fusion monsters and ziplines even though the game was saving my progress during the fight.) I get that it’s always been a thing when you tackle a boss and it’s a reasonable penalty for the most part, but when you have to go through such a massive location it gets a little ridiculous just to have one. Especially due to the fusion matter present in the Lair. Story-wise, it makes perfect sense: You’re in the belly of the beast, so to speak, and in most likely the location with the highest concentration of pure fusion matter on Earth. However, where this fails in terms of gameplay is that, not only can you step in it and have no idea because everything looks the same, it’s right in the middle of walkways you’re forced to go through or in small patches you accidently step on because again you can’ t see it like in the rest of the game. It’s a good thing I kept my Grim Tokens for a rainy day, because one tini-tiny patch literally killed me immediately after battling the last trio of Fusions despite the fact that there was no indicator I was standing in it during the fight. It makes it hard to even find somewhere to stand to recover as you’re going through, and it’s one thing I do hope they fix even if I never have to go back to the Lair myself.

Getting to some of the story/worldbuilding stuff, again, I do love where they’re taking the game. You can tell these guys aren’t just trying to make random missions for funsies; They’re taking plot development seriously, trying to connect various dots and add a whole new chapter for us to explore. Of course, you know I already love it, but also, not gonna lie...

I’m happy that it looks like I was right on the hivemind and symbiotic nature of Fuse with Planet Fusion theories. :)

As for the Belladonna/Buttercup one, I figured I probably wouldn't be right about it back then and, sure enough, the memory-loss idea was kept. The fact that the team actually brought more to such a minor thing in the game overall pleasantly surprised me though. While I can’t say I like the take due to the plot holes remaining, it’s not something I pin on the team as it was present in the first version of the game and even one of the devs commented on it being a little off and them needing to change some of the dialogue around it in a YouTube vid. There’s only one negative that I have to say about it and that’s an additional plot hole that was made by introducing “Belladonna” with her own separate Fusion and Nano. If she and Buttercup are one and the same, then it doesn’t really make sense that there’d be another one of her. Memory loss or no, Buttercup’s still Buttercup and from the information we’ve been given on the creation of Fusions, her Fusion wouldn’t change just because of the amnesia unless maybe they’re going for a split personality route, but even that seems a little weak--especially since we’re shown during the mission that Buttercup maintains fragments of her memories and then she remembers her true identity pretty fast. I think they’re working with it the best they can without tearing away from the original material though, which I really respect. I hope we get to see where Buttercup is going in the future now that they’re doing more with her character and giving her a chance to shine. That mission in particular felt like reading the chapter of a good comic, where you’re snapping at the bit waiting for the next issue to be published.

However, as for my personal stories, I’ll probably still be keeping to the Belladonna/Buttercup ideas that I had before and I’ll still leave the theory up for the sake of that theory, even though it was wrong. There are some things I’d like to play with for stories.

Well, Fusion Fellas, looks like we’ve got a lot to look forward too and a whole new world to explore!

#silya speaks #opinion #thoughts #fusionfall #fusionfall retro #video games #buttercup #fusions #critique

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grifalinas · 4 years

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(Crossposted from Dreamwidth)

A few days ago, I was playing around with a draw of Eurig and inverted his color pallet for funsies, and thought it looked cool and made him look like an ice elemental. Last night I decided to play with the idea, so I drew him goofing off with some of my elemental dnd characters.

Which has me thinking of them again, and how I'm probably never gonna get to do anything with them and definitely won't get to do anything with ALL of them, so I'm going to make a little world to keep them in. I'm also sprinkling in a few of the Crescendos, because I want Eurig to be there and I can't bring him over without Axel and Saul, and etc. I think all told it's the main five? Because the only other two I've decided to bring over are Raptorr and Howl.

Anyway! Need to do a bit of organizing of thoughts and characters. The story/world is called Mosswall, for the area where they live, with Safepoint being the name of the specific village. (Funnily enough, Mosswall is a part of the Abyssal Crescendo setting. Hmm.) Rather than start off as a big group, the characters are sorted into smaller groups, and the stories are about their mundane (to them) day to day lives as inhabitants of an inherently magical world. Over time the groups start to overlap, because Mosswall is a small area, and everyone knows everyone.

-Group One: Ash and Bron. Ash is a local schoolteacher, and Bron is her boarder and general dogsbody. To all appearances, they're two ordinary people in a slow burn domestic romance. What people don't know is that both of them are ex-soldiers- Bron fell in battle during a war between the bigger kingdoms to the west of the largely unsettled area that Mosswall falls in, and Ash was a general in the same war, on the opposite side. (Ash may be a demigod, I need to think this through.) Bron was restored by a goddess who was moved by his sacrifice, and he now serves as her cleric, putting good in the world to atone for the wickedness he was responsible for before (which I need to come up with the details to). Among these includes discovering that the war was not a case of good vs evil and more a case of politics vs politics with gods involved. Ash, on the other hand, was created by her father to help them take care of the people on their side of the war, because he realized that the god he served saw them as mere tools and he loved them. Ash is biding her time regaining power so that she can look for her father, who was diminished after their defeat but, being a god, not actually destroyed. Right now she and Bron are doing their best to put more good back into the world, in part by helping people, in part by getting people to help each other, and in part by teaching the next generation to be a little more kind.

-Group Two: Rall, Seven, and Poe. These three are the only ones to remain adventurers in the carry-over; Rall and Seven are both thrill-seekers, while Poe is seeking his missing lover, who vanished in the area several years ago while doing work as an adventurer himself. Rall is a water-elemental who was raised by turtle-people, and after finding out a few years ago that she was adopted ("What do you mean I'm adopted?!" wailed the five-foot-tall mammal with no claws, no shell, and humany flesh), she set out into the world to find out what, exactly, she IS. (What she is, for those curious, is the daughter of a human (?) and a minor water god. Since such beings are relatively common but also manifest in lots of different ways, she's never actually met anyone like her and has no idea what she is.) Seven is a bird-person, who was kidnapped by pirates after his colony was raided, and then after leaving his ship went on to become an adventurer instead. (By the way, the pirates weren't the ones who raided his colony, they happened to come along afterward and found him while they were searching for survivors. The pirates rescued him.) Poe, as mentioned, is seeking his lost lover; they were a case of a rich boy falling in love with a woodsman's son, and Poe's parents were against the union. His lover, Cadius, went out to seek a fortune by helping tame the unsettled land to the east, and vanished. Poe was at school at the time he received word of Cadius's death (the news was fudged by his parents), and after he shut down in grief, he was visited by a divine entity who offered him power and help in finding his lost love in exchange for fealty, and he accepted this. So now he's a magic user, and he works as an adventurer (called "for hires" in this verse, since they're essentially people for hire to do pretty much anything, whether that be typical mercenary work or something else entirely). Cadius will eventually be found in the forest, magically transformed into a bear and needing the curse on him broken.

-Group Three: Cylev and Raptorr. Cylev is a friar in the forest, as well as being a werewolf, and Raptorr is his young... ward? roommate? boarder? Well, he lives there, anyway. Like in the original Crescendo story, Raptorr is a unicorn who ran away from home when his father refused to recognize him as a boy, and he ended up in Mosswall, where Cylev gave him a place to stay. He alternates between learning Cylev's healing arts, and just being a general nuisance to the populace at large. Cylev, contrasting his brash young ward, is a gentle and quiet soul, and is seeking the inner peace needed to live at harmony with the wolf within him.

-Group Four: The Branu. Yeah, them again. Too many to name here; the relevant members are Axel, Howl, Quin, Jackdaw, Merla, and Jay. The Branu are in this instance a group of entertainers, who during spring and summer travel to the various villages in Mosswall to perform. In this verse, Howl is a foundling, who was taking in by Quin and is now studying to be a stage magician. She also may have accidentally killed her family but she doesn't want to talk about it.

-Group Five: Eurig and Saul. Both members of the Knightguard, a knight order who have been charged to protect people within the boundaries of Mosswall. Eurig also happens to be an ice elemental and Saul has cool sand powers, so they've got that going for them too. While not adventurers, the sort of jobs they have to do overlap in type with the for hires in group two.

At some point these stories are going to start overlapping (this is one reason I deliberately but Eurig/Axel and Raptorr-Howl into separate groups). Also I didn't realize until I started typing it up how many of them have a direct connection to deities, or were set on their path specifically by a deity of some kind, and now I'm wondering how much overlap there is. Maybe all of them were put into place by a single string-pulling deity? It's an intriguing thought that would point to something bigger at play, but if I don't have much to do with it I might leave it alone. That said, the more deities there are between them the more I personally have to create.

(Also, I have two defunct deities sitting in a folder somewhere that could either/or be perfect for this, so. Something to consider.)

Anyway, I don't expect to do much with this idea, I just want to have a world where my characters can exist and enjoy themselves. Also, it feels like the sort of setting you'd use for an animated show, so it'll be nice to have it here in case I ever get the chance to pitch a show idea to an animation production company who will be all "ooh that sounds cool, let's run with it!"

#mosswall tag

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recurring-polynya · 5 years

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I thought about Ishida and Renji too much, and woke up at 5:30 yesterday morning with a fic in my brain. I thought it was gonna be another drabble, but I think it turned into a full story. Inspiration note at the end, to avoid an extremely mild spoiler.

~ The Letter of the Law ~

Uryuu has run afoul of the Soul Society criminal justice system. Fortunately, he has, uh, Renji.

(AO3 link)

Takes place immediately after 684. Presumes that Rukia and Renji got together sometime during the TYBW. Before works, too, if you prefer. (If that sort of thing piques your fancy, I got you covered.)

I will not apologize for any continuity errors, the TYBW was extremely confusing.

Rated T for language, because Renji.

~ ~ ~

Other shinigami would surely be here any minute. The Onmitsukidou, trying to get Aizen back under wraps? Squad 12 maybe?

Renji sighed. There was no way around it.

"Hey, Ishida?"

The kid looked at him, exhaustion permeating his entire being.

"Believe me, I don't like this any more than you do, but, uh," Renji rubbed the back of his neck, "you're under arrest."

Ishida blinked. "Come again?"

Renji sighed again. "Under my authority as a Lieutenant of the Gotei-13, I am detaining you under the custody of the Sixth Division, Kuchiki Byakuya, Captain."

"You can arrest people?" Ichigo asked, incredulously. "Can Rukia arrest people?"

"Kurosaki!" Ishida protested.

"Of course I can arrest people, I was arrestin' Rukia the first time you met me, you moron!"

"Oh, right.” Ichigo remembered to get offended. “C'mon, Renji, it's Uryuu! Don't be an ass about this."

Renji shook his head, a warning. "I'm telling you guys, you absolutely need me to be an--"

"QUINCY SCUM, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST--"

So it was the Onmitsukidou, after all. There were about a thousand of them swarming Aizen, but they hadn't forgotten about Ishida, either.

Renji hefted himself to his feet. Time to get to work. "Too late, boys, I've already arrested him."

Two black-clad ninja looked at each other, and back to Renji. "But we're supposed to arrest him."

Renji gave a big, genial shrug. "That's a pickle, now, isn't it?"

"What do you care, why not just give him to us?" one of the ninja suggested.

"Oh, we do things by the book over at the Sixth. Captain wouldn't like it if I just went around transferring prisoners without the proper paperwork. You can fill out a transfer request form, of course. You'll need your Captain or Vice-Captain to approve it, and then you can file it with the Sixth Division front office. I should warn you, though, we've been short-staffed lately, so we may not get to it right away."

"What. Is. Happening?" Ichigo murmured.

"Due process," Renji replied cheerfully. "Sorry, Uryuu, I'm gonna have to take you in. Don't worry, Ichigo, I won't let him outta my sight. I’m sure you’re gonna be real busy for the near future." Renji clapped Uryuu on the shoulder. "Don't you worry either. If anyone can utterly bog down the Gotei-13 legal process by fucking up paperwork... it's me."

~ ~ ~

"Here's a blanket," Renji said, shoving it between the bars. "And I brought you some books." He passed them through one at a time. "This one's historical fiction…this one's a literary novel that was real popular a few years ago...this one's non-fiction, about the history of zanjutsu...and here's some shitty vampire manga I keep around for when Rukia comes over. I didn't know what you liked, so I tried to bring over a bunch of different things."

"These are... your books?"

Renji raised one eyebrow. "Whose else would they be?"

Ishida turned one of the books over his hand. They were cheaply printed paperbacks, the paper much rougher than you’d find in the Living World, the spines all utterly bent and creased to hell. "I, uh, didn't know they had popular books in Soul Society."

Renji narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn'ta guessed I read for fun, is what you mean."

Uryuu took a deep breath. "I assumed. I'm sorry." He turned over the historical novel curiously. "Looks like you’ve read this one a few times."

"That's my favorite book." Renji was thoughtful for a moment. “You got ‘Romance of the Three Kingdoms’ in the Living World, right? It’s a little like that.”

Uryuu raised both eyebrows. "I'll give it a try."

Renji shrugged. "I won't judge you if you read the vampire manga. Anything else I can get for ya? Tea? Playing cards? Get you some ink so you can work on your prison tats?"

"I'll, ah, pass. Um, is there a way to get someone's attention, if I need something?"

"Oh, I'm not leaving you alone down here."

Ishida blinked. “What?”

Renji leaned up against the bars of the cell. “You can trust any and all of the Squad 6 folks on duty down here, I hand-picked 'em. But Squad 2 and 12 are both after you, and they’re lying, tricky bastards, one and all. That’s to say nothing of any of your old Quincy pals we might not’ve caught. Everything outside of this barracks is chaos right now, and I’m not about to get caught on my laurels, so I’m just gonna bring my paperwork down here and hang out with my ol’ buddy Uryuu until the rest of the captains get back.”

“You give all your prisoners this much personal attention?”

Renji shrugged. “Only the ones who don’t make fun of my eyebrows.”

~ ~ ~

Renji leaned back so his chair balanced on the back two legs. The back thunked against the bars of the holding cell. "The problem is," he drawled, "that Squad 3 has also requested a prisoner transfer. And they got their paperwork in first."

The Squad 2 flunky clutched his approved Form PTR-0003-36A like a lifeline. "What do I do with this, then?"

"Oh, I'll take it," Renji offered, delicately plucking the crumpled form from the man's sweaty hands. "But since there's more than one request, it will require adjudication, which means I'll have to wait until my captain gets back."

"When will that be?" the Onmitsukidou squeaked.

"Hard to say," Renji shrugged, shaking his head. "As far as I know he's still in the Royal Realm, and I don't have any way to communicate with him directly."

"What if we got Squad 3 to retract their request?"

"Worth a try, I s'pose. I've already started processing it though, so they'll need to file a formal withdrawal, and they'll probably want to document that it was at the request of another squad, so made sure they attach a Schedule E. That’s ‘E’, like earwax, not ‘D’ like dead dodo."

The ninja slunk off, mumbling "E, not D" to himself.

"Or maybe it was Schedule D,” Renji replied airly, scratching his head. “Or maybe even Schedule C. Who can keep them all straight? Anyhoo, Squad 12 will probably have submitted one of these by the time he gets Kira to back off," he mused, glancing over the form. "Oh, they spelled your name wrong, too, that'll gum things up for sure."

"What does Squad 3 want with me?" Uryuu asked suspiciously, from the other side of the bars.

"Nothin'. I just asked Kira to fill one out. For funsies. You probably owe that guy a drink." Renji thought for a moment. "Actually, I'm not sure he'll be drinking anytime soon. But I bet he's in the market for a real classy lookin' cape, or maybe, like, a caftan? Is that the right word?"

“A flowy garment that a woman of a certain age wears for drinking wine?”

“Yeah, yeah!” Renji nodded. “‘Zactly. Matsumoto has one.”

"Hmmm," Uryuu frowned. “I’ll think about it.” He tried to get back into his book, but after reading the same paragraph three times, he closed it. "There's really no way to communicate with the Royal Realm? I was just wondering when everyone-- I mean, if Inoue and Sado--"

"I absolutely did not say that,” Renji clarified. “I said there's no way t'contact my Captain directly , because that old fogey refuses to carry a spirit phone. If I wanna talk to him, I gotta call Rukia and get her to hand him her phone. What a pain, am I right? Anyway, I talked to 'em all this morning. They'll be back in about two days, maybe sooner."

~ ~ ~

Renji banged his way into the 6th Division front offices. "What is all the commotion up here?" he hollered.

"Renji!" Orihime cried, her voice cracking with relief.

Renji stopped cold. It seemed very weird to see his human friends here, in his office, in the place where he spent most of his time reviewing mission reports and working out tactical exercises with Captain Kuchiki and mainlining too-strong tea in order to stay awake until quitting time. Much weirder than seeing Ishida down in his holding cell.

"That's Assistant Captain Abarai to you, " Third Seat Ohno snapped peevishly.

Renji rolled his eyes so hard it was practically audible.

“We’re here to see Ishida,” Chad demanded. “He’s our friend.”

"This is not the Coordinated Relief Station! We do not have visiting hours !" Ohno went on. He turned to Renji. "These ryouka want to see the prisoner, which, of course, is simply out of the question." As irritating as the guy was, Renji really had to hand it to ol’ Third Seat Ohno. He’d done an absolutely masterful job of gleefully kicking out all the secret police and mad scientists and generalized revenge seekers that had been mobbing the offices for days. The guy did not believe in exceptions. Which meant this was going to require some creativity.

"Yeeeeeahhh," Renji frowned. "We can't just let anyone go down there. Ishida's a dangerous criminal, you know, and a member of a widespread secret alliance and we got procedures to follow, and regulations stating the number of unauthorized personnel allowed in restricted areas…" As soon as he noticed Ohno close his eyes and start to nod along smugly, Renji started pointing to himself and miming punching himself in the face.

Chad might be soft-spoken, but he was not slow on the uptake. He pulled back his fist and slugged Renji in the jaw, at roughly 1/10 of his usual strength.

"That's assault of an officer!" Renji declared, trying to shake off the blow. 1/10 of a Chad punch was still an awful lot of punch. "You're under arrest, I'm throwing you in the brig!"

Orihime was also not slow on the uptake, although she sometimes she got her exits confused and ended up on the wrong uptake. Her fist smashed into Ohno's nose at 100% of her full strength. "You'll never take me alive, coppers!" she yelled.

From the floor, Ohno whimpered.

"I will," Renji corrected her. "I will most definitely take you alive. I will take you down to the brig, where Uryuu is. Because you are also under arrest."

"Oh! Right!" Orihime cheerfully agreed.

"My noooose," wailed Ohno.

An hour later, Orihime and Chad departed Squad 6, released on their own recognizance.

~ ~ ~

"LIEUTENANT ABARAI!"

Renji's disheveled head poked out of Holding Cell B, blinking muzzily. His hair was a rat's nest, his jaw was blue with stubble, and his shihakusho looked distinctly lived in.

Captain Kuchiki swept in on a breeze of cherry blossoms and efficiency. His silks were spotless, his hair perfect. He looked like he had just returned from a relaxing vacation. His sister trailed behind him, a 4’9” echo of his own perfection.

"What have I told you about napping in the holding cells?"

Renji hopped to attention. "Welcome back, sir! And if it's more than three consecutive hours, it's not a nap, it's plain ol' sleepin', sir."

"That's some nonsense, Lieutenant," Lieutenant Kuchiki chided him, making a face that she had clearly appropriated from her elder sibling.

"Welcome back, to you, too, Lieutenant ," Renji replied, unable, or perhaps unwilling to keep the joy off his face at seeing her again.

"Why are you down here?" Byakuya demanded.

"Got a person of interest here, sir, didn't want to leave him unguarded."

Byakuya regarded him with lidded eyes. "Yes, I have already heard quite a bit of angry complaining about your 'person of interest' from multiple other captains."

"It's the paperwork, sir. It's a morass. But I want this done right, I refuse to rush. Crossin' every t, dottin' every i. That's the Squad 6 way, am I right?"

"Of course, Lieutenant. I know what a….stickler you are for these things."

"In fact, sir, I got in a request yesterday that I'd really like some of your expertise in processing. Bit complicated. Political."

Byakuya nodded. "Fine. Meet me upstairs in the office in ten minutes." He glanced sideways at Rukia, who was holding up one finger on her left hand and five on her right and mouthing the word “fifteen” hopefully. A strange, pained look crossed his face, as though he were trying to prevent some glaring new piece of information from actually making its way into his brain. Stubborn obliviousness appeared to win this round. "Make that fifteen minutes." He turned on his heel and glided out.

Rukia scowled at Renji, jerking her thumb toward Uryuu, who did not bother to look up from his book. "You given this idiot what for, yet?"

Renji shrugged. "Not really. I figured he’d get enough grief from everyone else. And he was with us in the end."

"I don't mean that! I mean worrying his friends, the jerk!"

"Rukia," Renji said gently, taking her hand in his. "Is this really how you want to spent the first fifteen minutes you’ve seen me in three days?"

Rukia stiffened, and her voice lowered to a whisper. "Did you tell him that we're…?" she pointed back and forth rapidly between the two of them, and jerked her head to the side twice meaningfully.

"Together?" Renji suggested. "The word is 'together.'"

"He wouldn't shut up about it," Uryuu added. "Congratulations." He turned a page. "Or condolences. One or the other."

Rukia made a face she usually made at Ichigo. "Thanks," she finally sputtered. Then she grabbed a fistful of Renji's kosode, and hauled him into Holding Cell B.

Uryuu turned another page. "Took you long enough."

~ ~ ~

"Glad to see everyone here with so much enthusiasm today," Captain-General Kyouraku said, clapping his hands. "The quicker we get started, the quicker we'll be done! Nanao, do you have my list?"

"There's been a request that item 7 be moved to the top of the agenda," Lieutenant Ise informed him as she passed over a sheet of paper.

His eyes skimmed it. "Well, that seems fine. I've received the approval to name Kuchiki Rukia as Acting Captain of the 13th Division. I know my good friend, Juushirou, had the utmost confidence in her, and I think it's a very appropriate appointment. Are there any objections?"

If there were, no one felt like a big enough jerk to voice them while the Captain-General was getting misty about his fallen companion.

"Wonderful! Congratulations, Kuchiki, please reach out to me if you need any assistance."

"Me," Nanao corrected. "Please reach out to me."

"Thank you, sir!" Rukia barked. "I will do my best!"

"Next...oh, dear. I guess we need to discuss the Ishida boy, who, apparently is in the custody of the Sixth Division?"

Captains Kurotsuchi and Soi Fon both started talking at once, and then Captain Otoribashi started in once someone mentioned Squad 3. Captain Hitsugaya and Acting-Captain Kuchiki both had strong opinions on the matter. Then Captain Hirako started talking because he liked to talk while other people were talking.

"All of this is moot.” The room went quiet. Even though he wasn’t particularly loud, people tended to shut up when Captain Kuchiki bothered to say something. “We have received a request for the prisoner's extradition, on the grounds that he has a right to be tried in his realm of origin, by his own people."

"What?!" Kurotsuchi squawked. "We don't have any diplomatic relations with the Quincy."

"The Quincy of the World of the Living, to be exact. My lieutenant will explain," Byakuya could barely keep the boredom out of his voice. Not that he was trying.

"Uh, technically, we do,” Renji explained. “There's a binding legal entity between Division 13 and all officially appointed shinigami substitutes, of which there is currently one, who happens to be of Quincy heritage and domiciles in the World of the Living."

"Oh, no," Soi Fon groaned.

Renji went on, "And furthermore, there's precedent, namely the previous Captain-General releasing the body of Fullbringer Kuujo Ginjou into Kurosaki Ichigo's custody." Renji blew air out of his cheeks. He hated talking in captains’ meetings.

"So Kurosaki Ichigo has already filed his request?" the Captain-General asked, bumping his hat aside to scratch his head.

"It's already been processed, it just needs my signature," Rukia replied. "Now that I am officially Acting-Captain." She gave a dirty look to the captains of 2 and 12.

"Well, that all seems very neat and tidy," Kyourakou congratulated, amid the groans of his captains. "Great job, everyone. Thanks for taking care of that. Uh....this was the Quincy that was on our side, right? The nice boy with the glasses?"

~ ~ ~

“I should thank you,” Uryuu said quietly, as Renji led him through the shattered streets of the Seireitei.

“Eh, you woulda done the same for me.”

Uryuu was very quiet.

Renji looked at the boy out of the corner of his eye. “Look, man. Every time we go anywhere, you say you aren’t gonna help and you hate shinigami and we ain’t your friends, and the rest of us have learned to ignore you, because you always turn up when the shit hits.” He palmed Uryuu’s head and shook it playfully a few times. “You should learn to ignore you, too. I tell ya, you woulda done the same for me.”

Uryuu snorted. “Still. Thanks.” He gave a small smile. “I liked your book, by the way. Is there any way to get books back and forth from the World of the Living? I think I have one you might like.”

“Oh yeah?” Renji asked, raising an eyebrow. “Talk to Yadamarou. I’ll give it a shot.”

Everyone was waiting in a neat line at the Senkaimon, when they crested the hill.

"Ya did it," Ichigo hollered on behalf of everyone. "You got yourself kicked outta Soul Society, just like you always wanted."

“Well,” Renji said, "I guess this is it for us." Then he twisted Uryuu into a headlock, and proceeded to noogie him to within an inch of his life. Everyone else watched, solemnly, while Uryuu squirmed and yelped. Finally, Renji let him free. "I release him into your custody, Acting-Captain Kuchiki."

"Thank you, Lieutenant Abarai." Rukia turned to her young friend, who was gripping his scalp and cowering. "I do not envy you. His knuckles are like friggin' boulders."

"Diamonds," Uryuu whimpered.

Then Rukia grabbed Ishida’s ear and twisted.

"Owowoeewoow!"

She hauled him a few yards away from the group, and pulled his ear down to the level of his mouth. "Listen up, nerd. I am not planning some Kuchiki-ass, high society wedding without your help, you buttface. You have until that dummy over there decides to propose in order to get back in the good graces of the Gotei-13, you hear me?"

Uryuu tried to escape her iron grip and failed. "That could be the rest of my natural lifetime."

"It could be,” she agreed. “Or it could be tomorrow . You know how he is. So get on it."

It struck Ishida that he did know how Abarai was. And Kuchiki, as well. How had this happened? He blamed Kurosaki. He huffed. “Can’t you just go down to City Hall or whatever?”

Rukia looked hurt. “I didn’t say I didn’t want a fancy wedding. I just said I wanted you to help me with it. And y’know. Be there.”

“Oh,” Uryuu replied. “Oh. I”ll, uh...I’ll do my best.”

Rukia smiled. “Thanks.” She dragged him back over to the others and shoved him in the general direction of Ichigo. "Here you go, Substitute Shinigami and Quincy Cultural Attache, he's your problem now."

"Thank you, Shorty McCaptainface," Ichigo proclaimed formally. "Ishida Uryuu, you have been tried by a jury of your peers (that’s us), and been found guilty of being a crummy friend. You have been sentenced to the following: You will come to the next three movie nights, even if it's Keigo's turn to pick the movie, and you will bring those weird little pink French cookies you made that one time!"

"They were macarons."

"You will answer your texts within 2 business days, even if it's just a smiley face!"

"You're the one who doesn't answer his texts for weeks on end."

"You will let us wear your cape for five minutes each while we make fun of you!"

Uryuu sighed.

"And you will promise to trust us and let us help you and not join our enemies in order to betray them without telling us first, you got it?!"

Uryuu sighed louder. "I promise."

"And!" Orihime added, "you will bring it in for a group hug!"

This had presumably been planned, because the three humans immediately tackled their friend in what looked like a well-practiced maneuver, with Orihime coming in from the back, Ichigo from the front, and Chad coming in last, enclosing everyone with his huge wingspan. Uryuu exhaled one final sigh of long-sufferance, the lament of a man cursed with excellent friends.

"Shinigami are not excused from this!" Chad rumbled, and suddenly, Rukia had wormed her way into the middle , and Renji piled in opposite Chad.

"I promise I will be better," Uryuu from somewhere in the middle of all this.

"See that you do!" Ichigo shouted. "Also, I think you owe Renji, like, ten million yen in legal fees."

“I accept payment in little pink cookies!”

~ end

End note: While I was writing the group hug, I realized that I was just describing one of my all-time favorite pieces of fanart, by the very talented @chameshida I hope this fic has managed to capture a tiny fraction of that energy.

#bleach fanfiction #uryuu ishida #renji abarai #renji uryuu brotp #the rest of the nakama are here too #my fanfic #jail friends #abarai renji ace attorney

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ohhicas · 5 years

Note

I've only been into comics for a few years, but I've read enough of the old Flash stuff where I adore the classic incarnations of the Rogues. Honestly curious here: what's it like to be a fan of James Jesse back when he was retgonned around 10 years ago and see him brought back but now all mwahaha crazy evil? I'm way more used to Axel (and all that off-panel character development in Nu52, thanks DC) but even I find this kinda weird. Was James ever crazy evil in any arc?

^- me 90% of the time someone says James is coming back to recent media & it’s not a direct continuation of the comics prior to 2004

[ Warning: this is gonna get long and be full of a lot of assumptions. I can never form solid statements and things will get jumbled, because I suck at presenting things ]

[ this is my can of worms hill and you opened it so I’m dYING HERE ]

I mean, back in the earliest ages, no Rogue had a real personality to speak of? They were just “1960s Bad Guy in a different outfit” at the very start, with quirks! Like James having a thing for toys and nuclear powered flying tricycles. It wasn’t until that era ended that they started getting real distinct and into what a lot of ‘classic’ James fans loved and appreciated?

(I think at least, I’m just One Person here pretending like I even understand HALF of what the ‘classic’ fandom enjoyed. I’m wildly speculating just going off what fanworks I’ve seen produced.)

(I don’t have all my scans anymore but I’ll toss in scans when I have them)

But that’s when we started getting things like James actually having specified friendships with certain people

or clear distaste towards others, and when you could tell he was more of a wild card than the others. Or when he decided to fuck off and hang out in Hollywood with Blue Devil for a bit, even siding with Kid Devil to deck out Captain Boomerang.

Or when he decided to fuck off to Gotham, to mess with Catwoman by pretending he didn’t know who she was, but absolutely knew who she was because of how she walked and carried herself, but James being James was like “mmmmm long con, nope”

hey lil Cold, gimme all ur guns and don’t question why I’m in drag xoxo

Even then, he wasn’t shown to be vicious yet! He’d hopped around various places, was still considered A Rogue, A Criminal, and as far as any comic reader could tell by trying to count up how many civilians may have been crossfired at, he had no On Purpose deaths racked? Like, the only thing you could really argue was he may have made someone drive their car off a cliff once, but I’m like 98% sure they’re fine. He’s not a murderer, he’s just here for a laugh and a long-con for funsies because he know he can get away with it!

AND THEN WE GET A LITTLE OLDER, LITTLE DARKER

[ I’M PUTTING A CUT HERE CAUSE AFTER I THREW IT INTO DRAFTS, I REALIZED I GOT REALLY LONG, I’M SORRY IF MY LAYOUT SUCKS ASS FOR THIS. ]

little more 90s Hair. Little more 90s stereotypical “But what if EVERYONE WENT TO HELL” demon plots against Satanic Hockey Hair Neron. And James? still wasn’t evil? He was a little dismissive when everyone ELSE died sure but he still in the end turned around like “nghgng I’m THE ONLY ONE”, purposely got his ass down there, regretted it, and then beat Neron at his own game to save the entire fucking world. Because! He could! And he did it so well. STILL NOT EVIL, even when he had a chance right then and there to take over everything alongside Neron should he so desire. Like, two words, maybe some under the table BJs depending on how you feel about that pairing (I don’t), and bam. He would’ve bested nearly any other villain in the DCU save like, Satan himself. Or i guess one of those world destroyers. But we’ll get back around to those BOY HOWDY WE WILL GET AROUND TO THOSE.

So James! Saves! The world! Sorta! Later they fight Neron again and his kid he somehow had somewhere down the road (it sounds like I’m complaining, i’m not, I love Billy and Mindy both I just wish they showed up like… ever again?) and he sTILL SAVES EVERYONE.

Piper helps by their 90s ponytails combined.

Somewhere around here, because dates and timing aren’t my strong suit, he also goes and messes with Bart for a bit. It’s pretty much a Spy Vs Spy episode, but with less bloodshed.

ANYWAY IT’S AFTER THIS POINT THAT THINGS GET… where I think the majority of “James is a Low Rate Joker” comes from?

For some unknown goddamn reason, in between issues (James wasn’t a Super Frequent Rogue? He’d show up, sure, but in the huge run of the series he’d just kind of vanish for 20 issues at a time and you’d go “welp, guess he’s still alive”) James went super-cop? like, the FBI? For some reason? Hired James “I am a probably still wanted felon, a man who has escaped jail numerous times, probably never served a full sentence, known Trickster and liar” Jesse. to the FBI. And for so many issues it’s like he legit just. Did this. He threatens to shoot Piper who he was up until this very moment, considerably very close friends with (as far as comics would show Rogue/Rogue friendships), unwilling to help his friend clearly framed for murder of his parents and losing his mind by the day. Despite James talking Hart down a little on the whole ‘THE MAYOR IS ROSCOE ADN NOBODY BELIEVES MEEEEEEEE” thing.

Also he steals Digger’s dead ass corpse?

FBI James is a fucking enigma. Here he is standing up for Gay Rights even though Piper is like “mm maybe I should forgive my abuser??”

BUT. AFTER THIS? WE GET COUNTDOWN WHICH IS JUST. Countdown is. IT’s a problem. James’s personality is IMMEDIATELY HORRIBLY u-turned into “well we need SOMEONE to be the Bad Guy to Piper’s Good!” DESPITE. ALL THESE YEARS OF COMICS.This is the shit you’ll see people who don’t know better or just want a reason to hate the Trickster (despite being 100% okay for them to just say he’s annoying/they don’t like his tights/acrobats are stupid) reference. James is, suddenly, very abruptly, a homophobe. Like an “ew don’t touch me” level homophobe because I’m pretty sure DC snorts cocaine and threw a dart at a board for “how could they make these two fight” and landed on GAY RIGHTS IS TRENDING.

BUTSTILL IN THE FUCKING END OF ALL OF THIS?After so many issues of James being a complete fuckass prick?

springboards himself from his current job of being railroad face putty to catching bullets to make sure Piper wasn’t gonna die. Without knowing the proceedings of this entire plotline, James out of nowhere after so much gaybashing, still finds it in him to leap into the path of multiple bullets and save Piper. Because, yknow, he’s evil!

Later it’s shown he’s been working to take everyone down (y’know, like when he was in the FBI) and left Piper specific helpful notes to do it himself. Because Evil Bad Guy! Helping his gone-good friend! Take down bad guys!

DC I STILL HAVE SO MANY GODDMAN QUESTOINgsd

But yeah that’s. That’s where we last saw James. in 2007, dead, after saving Piper when he could have easily pulled a Joker and ripped HIM down to take hte bullets and etcetc, y’know. Something a Very Bad Person would’ve done, like the characterization we’ve seen now.

His ghost (easily argued as Piper’s own mental construction of James sassing him) sasses Hartley to even, in his mental state, saw off James’s hand so Piper doesn’t have to lug his weight around and has a fighting chance at living. And in the end, when Piper’s fighting the thing that can destroy the fucking world, it’s shown only Piper was the one who could save them? Because his flute, and his musical ability, and [enter DC comic science here]. You could argue this was James, once again, somehow knowing the long-con at play here, getting screwed over at EVERY turn, and sacrificing himself so they ‘good’ team had a fighting chance.You could also argue this is me losing my mind trying to make sense of the things they made James do. (my running argument is he was purposely a prick to push Piper away, so he could keep him safe)

Also Piper plays James a Swan Song of Queen as the final boss explodes and he’s fully prepared to die. So like. There’s that.

AND THATS BASICALLY THE COMICS? The main, ‘canon timeline’ comics. I’m missing a LOT of little things here and there, but I’m not missing anything like body counts, or murder attempts, beyond the old Silver Age “Bad guy of the week” things like trying to make Flash’s head explode, or you know. Other “nobody really has a personality, we just have quirks”.

MY NUMBER ONE GUESS TO WHERE THIS NEW PERSONALITY TREND COMES FROM?

Mark Hamil|’s OG run as him in the old live action show. That characterization was fun, for the time, and I even enjoyed it cause it was just that off the wall and you could tell it was what they used to decide he should be the Joker for the BATS Joker. Consider it a prototype (combined with all the previous comic jokers but that’s not for this long ass post)

And if it’d stayed there, that’d be it! That’s it! But then JLU came along, and they referenced the old show for their version of James with a sprinkling of early-era comics, and a lot of people loved and watched that show. That was their version of the Trickster, because it was their first meeting with him! And I can’t fault that! But that guy was clearly off his rocker and I’m sure if the JLU allowed a higher rating, it would’ve been even closer to the old TV show.

And both of THOSE were heavily, heavily referenced for the CW version, which as I’m at this point now means I need to slap my usual anti-CW tag onto things. I hate the CW James. There is so little comic in him it’s almost disgusting, and they ramped up so much of the Joker side of JLU & OGTV he might as well just be the Joker. It’s not a good representation of him at all. I have, also, only seen his first appearance episode, so maybe I’m wrong? But when you fuck up hard on the first run, why would I return for round 2?

So with ALL THIS–

REBOOT TIME. Whatever the newnew remake is calling itself.

At first! With how James was! In the first panel flash of him clearly behind the scenes tugging so many wires and lines, watching everything with a bucket of popcorn while pulling others to his side, sitting pretty in an old museum? warehouse? highlighted in purples and vintage toys, I was like “holy shit this it. This is My Boy, back from the goddamn limbo-dead. It’s him.” But then“taking over the city entirely” to do? What? Turn it into the world’s biggest Trickster themepark? Make everyone wear striped leggings and combat boots? Martial Law of murder if you don’t carry rubber chickens? This is already veering from anything major James has ever done. As it stands I can’t see the gag here. Its’ weirdly dark and edgy, and way too close to something we saw the 90s TV show Trickster do, in the episode where he basically took over the place. The previews show him being what I’m assuming a Judge, Jury, & Executioner joke– and unless this spins into a Clopin song and dance number and his little hand puppet crops up to slam the button on the guillotine, I’m not having it, DC.

They’re trying to tie him back into the CW, despite the writer saying he really enjoyed the Neron-era things with James (if I’m remembering the interview correctly). And it’s also why you may see me constantly saying “Well I sure as fuck hope Neron shows up” at anything new that’s released, to explain away all of… this.

This isn’t him. If they wanted a murderous Trickster, they should’ve just used Axel. The kid, canonly, tied explosives to stray dogs and homeless people. AXEL is the not-good Trickster, the murderous Trickster, the one you aren’t suppose to feel sorry for beyond being in way over his head due to his young age.

i think I somehow didn’t answer your question

TL;DR

it sucks? it’s also great because there’s a .5% chance that maybe they’ll do it right and won’t reference the fucking 90s noncomic media. But then they do. And all I can do is laugh and shrug like ‘welp I expected nothing’. But when they get it RIGHT it’s like christmas came early.

#anticwflash #james jesse #the trickster #god tumblr don't fuck this post up for me #Anonymous #remember when James made Mark and Digger BOTH run into a wall cause he looney tuned their asses with a black hole??

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daily-davenport · 6 years

Text

Davenport Headcanons 2: Electric Boogaloo ft. Battle Stuff & The Mug Saga

Here we go again! (Sorry couldn’t draw today)

Davenport worries about being taken seriously but also consider: Davenport is extra and enjoys a flair for the dramatic at times. Remember Merlsula? How Merle’s just basically a cosplayer? Davenport is the exact same way, if not worse. Dude showed up to a Candlenights party in a full suit of armor. Either he and Merle are a menace together for parties or they have a long-running rivalry.

Davenport didn’t go into the Stolen Century knowing how to fight-fight. He knew basic self defense and had general strength training that was required at the IPRE, but after the first cycle, Davenport sat down with Magnus to learn.

Davenport learned how to throw darts from 1,999 party points Merle Highchurch and then taught himself knife throwing from that.

Merle absolutely lost it when Davenport asked him to spot him when he first started practicing (*davenport voice* “Hey Merle? I’m gonna go throw knives, Ca- Can you come make sure I don’t die.”)

Davenport uses the environment around him to fight and causes some of the most collateral damage of the crew when fighting.

Davenport and Lup are the fastest flanker group. If they add Magnus or Taako, they can get more raw destruction, but Dav n Lup are good at sneaking fast (taako prefers sauntering) behind lines and striking the essential points.

Davenport, Lucretia, and Merle are the best defensive group (Magnus is a bit more, offense is the best defense SC timeline-wise) Between Lucretia’s shields and defensive spells, Dav’s illusions and commandeering, and Merle’s sometimes buffing/healing, more often aoe attacks, they can tank their way back to the starblaster.

Davenport literally backpacks Magnus (for their size difference, it’s just safer in fights) and Magnus loves it. It’s only for last resort really cause Dav hates it and doesn’t have nearly as many assist spells as Lucretia or Merle.

Lucretia and Davenport have the least amount of deaths, and even though Davenport has more deaths overall, Lucretia died before him first.

Taako can get really popular on planes if they’re not careful (we’re talking cults n junk) but on one plane the crew found a “Taako Look-a-Like Contest” run by some fans. So you know Taako enters. And loses. Most of the crew enters for funsies and (after a disguise self spell) Davenport wins a very cheap mug reading “#1 Taako”. Taako refused to talk to him other than to demand the mug.

Dav drinks from it exclusively.

(Lup could’ve entered but why? She’s the cooler twin.)

In a Modern au Davenport would be a speedrunner and I honestly don’t know what to do with this information. It’s too powerful.

Davenport knows where everyone’s hidden stash of something is. He helped build the ship, he knows all the best hiding spots. He and Lucretia share a wine stash after they both found each other’s.

Davenport cycle 1: Hands clasped uncertainly behind back as Magnus cries - would patting him on the shoulder be inappropriate? Should he get Merle?? Should he maintain a professional distance in a situation like this???

Davenport cycle 72: Fell asleep on Taako who is gleefully using him as an excuse to not do things again.

Davenport stays around the edge during team dogpiles. Not because he’s uncomfortable (close quarters with the same people for 10 years knocks that out of you) but because somehow no matter how they start, Magnus always ends up on top and crushes whoever’s in the center (normally Barry cause he doesn’t learn).

About seven cycles in Davenport just started drenching all his food in hot sauce. No one could figure out why cause he clearly couldn’t handle it but he just. kept eating it anyway and built up a tolerance after a few months.

(I imagine gnomish food is spicy and Davenport just got hit by homesickness and did it to feel closer to home)

(Davenport probably got a lot of flak for being a “Bad Gnome” back in their original plane.)

After a crit fail on both their parts, Magnus accidentally punted Davenport into a lake once. (He lived no worries but Magnus almost died out of shock/guilt)

Someone confessed their feelings to Davenport once, and in a moment of controlled panic, he threw his arm around Merle (who was closest) and said, I’m in a relationship already. Without missing a beat, Merle threw his arm around Dav too and winked/finger gunned at the other person and told them his side of the relationship was open and to call him.

(It works whether if you ship Davenchurch or not: cause you know Merle keeps the ruse going and Davenport isn’t gonna be cowed he’s been messed with before this ain’t his first rodeo. Set up for a terrible romcom that cycle)

Davenport has too many mugs. Taako decided to tempt him into using another equally terrible mug and everyone took to it.

(They all broke when the Starblaster crashed on Lucretia’s year alone. She dug through and found the #1 Taako mug shards and repaired it, and used the other shards as weaponry and traps to conserve spell slots. Davenport didn’t mind and was very proud)

#davenport taz #merle hitower highchurch #magnus terry burnsides #Taako Tacco the Wizard (y'know from tv?)#madame director lucretia #lup tacco #barry j bluejeans #daily davenport #taz headcanon #IPRE crew #thezonecast #taz balance #technically not a dav?#oh? the mug came with lore #woe be unto you if you live in a culture with spicy food and you can't handle spicy and everyone is like wow you're a bad [name] :/#mod podge

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forte7 · 5 years

Photo

Forte’s Fan Character Flashback Friday - #11

Name: Kaede Hatake Series: Naruto Background: So, this is probably the last Flashback Friday; turns out I'm kinda out of fan characters to really bring back - at least those that I really remember or have images of. But I will be ending this series off with a bang, I guess, cause today we're going to talk about one of my favorite fan characters who has way more development than a fan character really needs, but hey, I enjoy it and it's fun.

Anyway, I've posted stuff for this character before, but have a lot more I can share and have been kind of holding back for this post.

This is Kaede, my long-lived Naruto fan character. As cliche as it is, she supposed to Kakashi's adopted daughter, who of course, also happened to repress her memories of her actual family and birthplace and thanks to the Third Hokage's permission and whatnot, was able to just more or less seamlessly mesh into living in the Hidden Leaf village.

She was created right after I really got into the series, which was back around 2007, which correlates with one of the earlier images I have of her on my dA. You can see that one here, actually: https://www.deviantart.com/forte-girl7/art/Hatake-Kaede-69525304

Fun side note for that, I had done that image all on the free program GIMP and with a mouse and I'm still amazed at my younger self for having the patience to do all the things I used to do with just a mouse. I've been spoiled by my tablet, haha.

Anyway, one reason why I've been so attached to this character is because, like Rey a while ago, I used to RP with this character on a Naruto RP forum. However, this forum was much more active and the person who RPed as Kakashi was super into the idea and we really ran with the different scenarios we could put the two in. I'm actually still friends with that person and we talk about it from time to time and after the forum itself had gone under, still wrote fanfiction things together, just for funsies.

There's another reason why I got attached to the character and it's kind of a weird, personal, psychological reason, but could really be applied to a lot of my fan characters. As you may have noticed over the course of this series, a lot of my fan characters are either a character's daughter or younger sister. I never did the love interest thing; it wasn't and still isn't a thing that I was into. Not sure why, really, but not my thing.

The gravitation to having characters with older brothers or I suppose "idealized" father figures, however, I can totally explain. The brother thing is simple: I've always wanted an older brother, but as the eldest of the family, that was never going to be a thing. So, I guess I tried to find some kind of surrogate relationship with my fan characters. The same can be said with the father thing, too, but I do still have my dad around and while he isn't the worst dad, I guess he could have always been better. I don't want to paint my dad in a bad light, but he's always been a bit overbearing and had a lot of expectations for me that he pushed so much, I'm sure it didn't help with how my mental state's progressed through the years. Really, it's still a thing I deal with to this day and the more I think about it, the more I understand my younger self's need for "better" father figures to attach myself to.

Kaede was definitely one of those characters, and with someone like my old RP friend fanning the flames, it was hard not to get attached to a source of escapism that I really craved and needed at the time. That and having a set up like that and also have a friend who funnily enough cosplayed as Kakashi at one point saying "she should be canon", well, that's how you make a 14/15 year old's day, haha.

Anyway, I do have a lot of older art for this character (plus a lot of newer stuff), that I'll put next. I'll try and put them in chronological order, starting with some of the older stuff I have.

Old Drawing 1

Old Drawing 2

Old Drawing 3

Old Drawing 4

Old Drawing 5

Old Drawing 6

She's had a few different outfits over the years, though I do have a lot more stuff of her in more random outfits not really connected to her "actual" design. You can tell I was going through that "young weeaboo" phase looking at them, cause there are some of her as kitsune, some of her and Kakashi transformed into dogs, lots of them with bad fashion sense, and even here, she used to have a giant, paper fan as a weapon, cause "they have those in anime". And yes, I know, Temari has a giant fan, but her's is actually like.. a bamboo folding one, while the one here is obviously just a silly paper one that again, you would see in anime as a gag item.

Also, a few notes about some of her outfit inspirations: her earliest outfit looked way too much like Sasuke's, which I wanted to stray away from, but was hard considering I insisted on keeping her color palette the blue/tan mix.

One reason for wanting to stray from that is because of Kaede's odd stance when it comes to Sasuke. Personally, he's not my favorite, but Kaede herself is at odds with him, because of Kakashi's focus on training Sasuke in the earlier part of the series, mainly because of their mutual connection that is the Sharingan. Kaede has a slight inferiority complex when it comes to this relationship and is a major source for her lack of self confidence in her abilities.

Also, one of the later designs is an obvious rip-off of Kakashi's outfit from the Gaiden storyline (the bit where he actually gets his Sharingan). I liked elements from it, but again, would go on to tweak it so it wasn't just stealing from another character. Of course, if you look at the designs (and naming conventions) for a lot of the characters that are related... well, sometimes it seems like they didn't try much harder, hahaha.

And as another note, the reason why some of these images have the dA watermark on it was because I got these from my storage on there and they had those enabled. For the next few, which aren't in storage, I'll just link to the actual dA posts. These are still fairly old at this point, cause I haven't posted a lot of the newer stuff on there or anywhere yet, cause I've been... just going crazy on making new stuff and not posting it.

https://www.deviantart.com/forte-girl7/art/Daddy-s-Girl-126086387

https://www.deviantart.com/forte-girl7/art/Naruto-Kaede-326539607

Those two are from 2009 and 2012, while the ones earlier were posted in 2007ish. Also, the age progression there is pretty similar to the current one, though in the most recent, her older outfit reflects the changes to the general Konoha shinobi found in Boruto.

Now, this is just all visual development for the character. When I say a lot, I mean, a lot, cause there's also a written development to go with this. Granted, a lot of it is more recent, but that's because of me being weird.

Some of the posts there on dA do have the startings of a character profile, but they always say "I'll post most later" or "I'm still working on her profile" or whatever and that never came to light. That's mainly because, as I've mentioned before, I'm oddly pick about how plausible my characters may be in the canon universe. Kaede is no exception and may be the one that really sparked how particular I am about it.

I've been meaning for the longest of times to actually write a fanfiction that more or less adds Kaede to the story, though through research/rethinking, I would now add events not directly connected to the manga/anime, which would be needed either way, cause it's not like I was gonna shove her in the background of every actual scene from Naruto's story. However, because Naruto was still ongoing when I got into the series, I decided to bide my time and wait until it ended and how things unfolded.

While now that it's ended, that means I can comb through everything and actually make sure everything's covered, but it was quite an thing to tough through, considering some of the things that happened in the later chapters of the manga. I don't want to spoil anything for anyone really, but the series is pretty old now at this point and into their next series anyway, and some of the stuff that they pull off and hope you accept in the end game of Naruto is a bit much and trust me, you do not want to get me started on THAT topic, hahaha.

Anyway, now I'll be sharing some of the stuff I've been working on the last bit of time to actually maybe see that long-form fanfiction come to fruition. Please note that a lot of them are still a work in progress, but they have come a long ways since those earlier profile/backstory promises. It turns out that sitting down and combing through stuff, even after the fact, is a lot of work and very time consuming, because again, there's a lot of baloney that Naruto really hopes you'd be fine with, when sometimes they themselves don't stay the most consistent, especially when it comes to their actual time line.

I'm trying really hard not to go on a rant here... so let's move on the links and I'll explain them one by one if needed.

Profile Here's Kaede's current overall profile. It includes the general things on a profile sheet, like name, appearance, personality, backstory, and the likes. This also covers the same parameters for Kaede through the year, because I want to be thorough cause I'm weird like that. I also have little skill charts that use the same ranking system found in the Naruto Character Guidebooks, because I guess I like to waste time, hahaha. The backstory part of this is also kind of serving as a rough draft/abridged version for certain story events I'd like to write out, so sorry if they read... weird.

Relationships This document goes into more detail of Kaede's relationships to other characters. Kakashi's isn't full filled out yet, though it should probably be one of the longest ones, but I've been focusing on other characters, mainly her extended family, that I've been adding to bolster her backstory. There are line breaks between certain groups of characters, and the order after Kakashi should be Kaede's actual parents, her extended family (mainly a lot of her mother's relatives), Kaede's teammate and sensei, Naruto and the others of Team 7/Kakashi, and then other characters from the show.

Supporting Profiles Now, because I'm making up a whole gang of extra characters for my silly little OC, that means they also need profiles for a bit more fleshing out of their own, so that's this document, cause I just don't know how to stop myself sometimes. These again follow an order in their appearance, going from her biological parents to extended family, then teammates, followed up by teammates/colleagues of her biological father.

Technique/Skill List Pretty self explanatory. There are technically two versions of this list, where the other is really just a list. This one is the spreadsheet that covers other parameters of the various techniques/skills/jutsu/whatever and where I keep other notes.

Timeline This one is pretty much the biggest pain the neck for me, because again, it's taking time to cross reference the canon timelines that sometimes muddle themselves up anyway and can be annoying, yet amusing to read. This timeline focuses mainly on characters directly involved with Kaede, such as her extended family/what have you, so it's not the same in-depth one that I've been using on the Naruto wiki. Again, I'm trying to put her into the story, but that doesn't mean she's present and/or relevant to everything, cause she wouldn't be, hahaha, though there are some events present that are only there as kind of reminders for what's taking place in the main storyline.

As seen in the supporting profiles doc, all the characters I've come up with have designs, too, or are in the process of getting them and I've posted sketches and finished versions of them on my Patreon, cause those are also still a work in progress. I want to say I'll post them when they're done, but with me, who knows when that'll be, so I'll just some of them here now:

Supporting Character Drawings

Anyway, I think I'm gonna wrap this one up, cause I've blabbed for long enough. I know not a lot was actually covered Kaede-wise here, but that's because a lot of it would just be repeats of the stuff covered in the way-too-many-documents-for-a-fan-character up there.

Also, like I said, this is probably the last Fan Character Flashback Friday, so I want to thank you all for taking this journey with me to the past to revisit some rather fond memories and fun designs.

#forte's art #forte's fan character flashback friday #fan character flashback friday #fan character #oc #original character #naruto #naruto oc #kaede #kaede hatake #kakashi hatake #fanart

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fanfic-scribbles · 6 years

Text

Mouthy Broad

Fandom: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky try to go out on a date only to get waylaid by some pathetic wanna-be vigilantes. There are no words for how fucking stupid this is. You’re going to try to find some, regardless.

Quick facts: Romance – Bucky/Reader – Female Reader

Warnings: Side story for “On the Run” (though I put in enough info that you don’t have to read that first), abrasive/sarcastic Reader, language, sex joke, established Bucky/Reader, Reader and Steve have a friendship based on friendly antagonism (they don’t actually hate each other they just act like it), Reader recovering from traumatic event.

Words: 2470

A/N: The idea made me laugh, and then when I wrote it I got infected with feels, so here, have the fruits of my labor. A little one-shot for “On the Run” that takes place after that series, though I did my best to make it comprehensible to people who don’t wanna go through a sixteen part series to understand a 2k+ story. I think it worked, but only time can tell.

“On the Run” Masterlist Here (if you’re interested)

This is some bullshit.

You open your mouth to say just that when Bucky lifts his hand. “Please, whatever you’re going to say, just…don’t.”

You scowl at the back of his head. It’s impossible for him to see you, since he’s too busy trying to crush you between his back and the wall. Still he says, “I know. I know.”

You let out a sigh and try to make yourself as small behind him as you can. This was supposed to be easy. You and Bucky have been cohabitating for a couple of weeks now and aside from the new luxury rent-free digs courtesy of Tony Stark, you’ve been getting on as you always have. Well, mostly. Getting kidnapped and tortured would make anyone shy about leaving their heavily-fortified house, (‘house’, ‘giant tower protected by superheroes and mad genius, to-may-to, to-mah-to), and you’re still in the land of New Relationship Bliss. Getting dressed and going outside will always be less fun than sitting in your PJs on the couch with Bucky, alternating between making fun of whatever you’re watching and just plain making out.

Living your best life indeed.

Still, you don’t plan to play Rapunzel forever. You intend to get a job and you’d like to go outside without looking over your shoulder constantly. You’re very aware of why you avoid going out and it has made you more determined to get out on the town. Fuck Hydra; you’re not going to let them get to you so much that you stay inside eating snacks forever. So you decided, while having a particularly good day, that you and Bucky were going to go on a date in the outside world, dammit.

(Because after accomplishing that you can stay inside eating snacks forever if you want but with a sense of superiority, which really makes all the difference in the world.)

So earlier you basically told Bucky ‘get up asshole we’re going to see a movie and get dinner,’ (okay maybe not ‘basically’ maybe it was ‘literally’; what do you know), and with a remarkably light amount of grumbling, he got dressed and presentable and you both went out with the best of intentions.

Only to get crowded down a side street and trapped in a loading dock by a bunch of idiots with guns. For fuck’s sake, it’s barely even dark out and these guys are just–

“Let the girl go, Winter Soldier!”

You poke your head out. “Hey dickweed, the only danger to me is you and your wanna-be vigilante dickweed friends!”

Bucky hisses your name. You huff and go back into hiding. Admittedly, you’ve seen enough guns to last a lifetime, thanks, but these morons are…well…morons. Also, young, which is probably the only thing saving them from Bucky’s lethal force. Once they started tossing around ‘war criminal’ accusations Bucky went heavy on the defense while you have never wanted to punch someone more in your life (with maybe one exception).

“An idiot with a firearm is still an idiot with a firearm,” Bucky says and lets out his own sigh.

“Among other things,” you mutter. You peer around him again. “Hey! Idiot Number One!”

Idiot #1 looks around like you must be talking to someone else. Idiot #1– with a bullet. “Who, me?”

“Yeah, you! Barry with the Bad Hair–” Seriously, this fucker looks like he stepped off the off-off Broadway stage for “Amadeus”. “Where’d you get the cell signal blocker?”

Bucky says your name like he’s trying to talk himself out of knocking you unconscious. Or maybe he’s reconsidering who, out of the two of you, gets to be the human shield. Whatever it is, it definitely involves Bruce’s breathing exercises.

Idiot #1 pats his hair self-consciously and then scowls at you. “I’ll answer that if you tell me why you’re standing behind the Winter Soldier.”

“Deal!” What a fucking moron.

He nods like he has any sense of dignity or decorum when the only reason he and his friends are conscious is because they have murder tools and you are soft and squishy and have no sense of self-preservation. It was even on your list of ‘Cons’ for your ‘Going Outside’ list which you are clearly going to have to revisit.

“Let’s just say a friend of the people has a vested interest in shutting down Stark–” he tries to spit on Tony’s name but it’s a bit too drooly and oh god this is pathetic and gross now, “–tech.” He swallows and points. “Now you.”

“Well I was out on a date and some asshole morons started waving guns around so this jerkwad shoved me here to help keep my cute ass sans bullet holes.” You flip your hair. “Sorry; I’m on a ‘no lead’ diet.”

“That’s not– I didn’t s–” He turns a little red when he realizes, yeah, that is what he said. “I meant why are you defending him?! He’s a killer!”

“And you waving a gun around is just for funsies? Does it pop out a flag that says ‘bang!’?” You probably come off a little too angry, given the way Bucky squeezes your arm reassuringly, but really, ‘sick of this shit’ doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“We are correcting an oversight of the law,” Idiot #1 says, sounding so snooty it’s almost unbelievable that some butler or nanny isn’t coming to collect him for bedtime. He’s not your main concern anymore though. The kid to your extreme left is shaking like a leaf and you can’t really see, but you doubt he’s practicing proper gun safety.

“Hey, Judge Dredd.” You point at Shaky. “If you’re not out to get innocent people shot then maybe tell Hair Trigger to lay off, yeah? The guy’s just as likely to shoot you as he is to shoot us.”

Idiot #1 looks over and sighs, like his friend is just being embarrassing and not like he’s being embarrassing while holding a deadly weapon. It’d serve him right to get grazed by friendly fire. “Jerry, we talked about this. If you can’t–”

“No, I– I got this,” Shake-us Maximus says and takes a deep breath. He steadies only slightly. “I got this!” He looks like he’s imagining a music swell play under his triumph. You can’t help but roll your eyes.

“Oh my god!” Token Girl gasps. “They rolled their eyes at the exact same time!”

What a shock, that Bucky would also find that lame guy super lame. Idiot #2 has a giant Adam’s apple that you can see move with his swallow. He stammers, “Wha-what if she’s an android designed to be an extension of him?”

You burst out laughing. “Wow! Wow.” You can’t form any other words at first. They come eventually. “That is the dumbest conspiracy theory I have ever heard, and I once went on a date with a moon-landing denier.” That’s a fun memory. By comparison. “You think I’m some high-tech ventriloquist dummy?” Though you think maybe, considering the circumstances and relationship, ‘Real Doll’ might be a more accurate comparison. You poke Bucky. “By the way, sorry to disappoint, but fisting is not an achievement unlocked on a first date.”

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters and squishes you more against the wall. “Why do I always find the tiny idiots who want to fight everything? Why is this my life?”

“I am not tiny,” you say. “Take that back.”

Bucky looks at you, and then looks at himself. “You’re not bigger than me. And you don’t know how to fight. So, yeah– tiny idiot.”

“I swear to god if you are lumping me in with Steve again I’m going to dump your ass on your own couch.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and looks back at them. But you cross your arms and add, “Maybe one of these losers will let you sleep on theirs. Maybe you can find out what’s killing their brain cells that they think this is a good idea.”

Bucky sighs a little more roughly. “Can’t you be serious for five minutes?”

“With guns pointed at me? Fuck that; if I’m going out I wanna make it hard to pick out which zinger goes on my headstone.”

Bucky is quiet for a moment, stealing little glances at you. Then he spins and pins you to the wall so securely that you have to take shallow breaths. “Bucky?”

“Nothing’s gonna happen to you. All right?” he says, keeping eye contact and staying almost in kissing distance. You could close it if you want, but you’re honestly not in the mood. Which blows because Bucky shoving you up against the wall is supposed to be really hot.

“Don’t– don’t turn your back on them, you idiot.” You try to push him back but he just presses his forehead to yours.

“Shh,” he says. “Don’t look at them, don’t listen to them. Just focus on me. People like that’ll kill your brain cells if you’re not careful.”

The Brooklyn is coming out strong, which normally only happens when he’s relaxed. However, you find yourself at a loss to make fun of him for it. Well, right now, anyways. “Seriously, turning your back on a bunch of guns? You’re not Steve; you don’t have a shield to turtle under!”

“Oh my god, is that Captain America?!”

You blink and peek as the Armed Idiot Brigade start to fan over an annoyed and cautious Steve Rogers.

You lean back against the wall and consider. Well, it’s worth a shot. “You’re not rich; you don’t have a million dollars waiting to rain down on you!” You wait. Nothing. Drat. Bucky huffs and you shrug as he lets up. “Hey, can’t blame a girl for trying.”

“Oh, are we interrupting?” Tony says as he floats down in his suit.

You smirk at Bucky and he rolls his eyes. “Doesn’t count,” he says.

“Eh. Close enough,” you say and look around the combined wall of Tony Stark as Ironman and Bucky Barnes as Moron Who Thinks His Metal Arm Is the Same as a Suit of Armor. Thankfully, Steve has negotiated the idiots into at least lowering their weapons.

“I’m confused,” Tony says.

“It’s okay. You just look like a million bucks, Stark,” you say and flash him a smile.

“Only a million?” he asks as though mortally offended.

“Fine. A thousand.”

“But–”

“Keep going and it’ll be a hundred.” You smooth out your clothes and go back to paying attention to the goings-on. Steve is talking to Idiot #1 and looking like he’d rather deal with anyone else. It’s sort of hilarious already. “Hey Steve! I will be nice to you for an entire day if you punch that guy!”

Steve immediately looks thoughtful. “An entire day?”

“Wh-what?!” Idiot #1 goes pale and jerks back. “Y-you wouldn’t!”

“Twenty-four hours, no more, no less,” you say and delight in the way the little asshole shakes. Good. Let him be terrified for a few minutes. Fair is fair.

“Hey, if you knew her like I do then you’d be tempted too.” Steve takes one step, not even giving any real weight to it, but Idiot #1 falls on his ass. His friends stand around, stunned. Well at least they won't shoot Captain America.

“But– but you hate bullies!” Idiot #1 whimpers.

“Yeah. I really do.” Steve kneels down and rips the gun away. The weenie gasps and holds his hand. Please. Steve has stolen a pack of cookies from you with more force; there’s no way that hurt. “I really hate watching a group of people aim weapons on a couple just trying to enjoy a nice night out.”

Idiot #1 stammers, but shuts up when Steve holds up his hand and stands. “I’m not a cop, so I can’t read you your rights, but the authorities are on their way, so you might want to stay quiet regardless.”

At that, the idiot minions try to run. Tony lifts up and drops down in front of Shaky. Natasha creepily appears in front of Idiot #2, and Token Girl jumps back with a shriek when she almost slams into Clint. You take count of the guns lying on the ground and you finally, finally can breathe again. Once they’re all secured Tony takes off with whatever they used to block your call for help, muttering something about…hammers? You don’t really care, as long as Pepper doesn’t blame you for him locking himself in the lab again. You maintain that hovering coffee cups seemed like a really great idea at the time.

Anyways. Due to the motive, the intended victim, and the dumbasses’ previous loud claims to be vigilantes, the morons are going to be taken into SHIELD’s custody rather than the police’s. Coulson’s creepy bland smile freaks them out, which you approve of, and after taking statements and grabbing the evidence, he and Steve go off together talking about how they’re going to scare them straight, which you whole-heartedly approve of.

However at the end of it all you’re frazzled, hungry, and wondering why you thought leaving your room was a good idea.

“Hey.” Bucky slides his arm around you and you lean into him. “We missed the movie but we can still get dinner.”

It sounds good in theory. Everything is fine now, you’re starving, and Steve can’t crash your date to ‘chaperone’ like he threatened to when you left the tower earlier. You want to, you really want to…

…but what if something else happens?

Bucky looks at you like he knows what you’re thinking. Or maybe he’s zoning out and running through his own doomsday scenarios. It’s hard to tell with this guy, sometimes. Eventually he says, “I got an idea,” and pulls you along to where Natasha and Clint are talking. They look up when you approach and Bucky says, “We’re gonna hit up that diner near the tower before we head back. You two wanna join us?”

“Oh, I love that place!” Clint says, eyes bright and wide until Natasha elbows him.

“We don’t want to crash your date,” she says, looking at you.

You like where Bucky is going with this, though. “You’re not; we’re inviting you.”

“All right then,” Natasha says with a nod.

“Yes!” Clint says and falls in next to you as you walk, Natasha on his other side, and Bucky on yours. “They have the best pies, let me tell you…”

And he does, much to your amusement and Bucky and Natasha’s annoyance. You all settle into a booth and Natasha starts ribbing Clint, as is right and normal. It feels a little less like a date and more like a night out with friends, but when Bucky’s hand settles on yours on the cracked vinyl bench, you think that taking baby steps might be all right after all.

Tag List: @howdoesoneadult @grey-stardancer @projectxhappiness @jadepc (If you don’t want to be tagged just let me know; thought this might be relevant to your interests :) )

#bucky x reader #james bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #avengers reader insert #on the run

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