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#anyways just realized earlier

dandelion-roots · 4 months

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[ID: a digital redraw of the scene where chuuya shoots dazai in the shoulder. on the top of the drawing is chuuya holding a guy to dazai's head in the red and grey hallways of the prison. on the bottom of the drawing is dazai's pained face. the gunshot is shown stylistically as hectic lines behind his bloody shoulder. over the image is half a quote from goncharov that reads 'if we really were in love you wouldn't have missed.' the signature says dandelion-roots. end ID]

This quote from Goncharov (1973) in relation to soukoku has been haunting me from before I even got to that scene in the anime (the full thing is: Katya- Of course we're in love, that's why I tried to shoot you/ Goncharov- If we really were in love you wouldn't have missed). Violence as a tool for communicating emotions, especially love and hatred, especially love and hatred makes me go feral- how could I not think of the iconic quote that says that katya's miss was a sign of a lack of love/a fake love when chuuya didn't miss? Just... losing it over here.

#bsd #bsd s5 #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #soukoku fanart #bungou stray dogs season 5 #bsd spoilers #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #not to tell on myself but i just realized that i. used the wrong screenshot as ref JKDSKDJKDJ i have too many saved. its fine. u get it #just saying it in case anyone was confused #goncharov #also just to be clear if someone didnt understand the caption- i used the quote to be the opposite of what was happening #not to describe what was happening in the scene or to imply that chuuya later not killing dazai was him 'missing'#i get VERY specific imagery in my mind and i disregard everything else #and i do it in the way that would be incredibly confusing to most ppl at first glance. such is the world #im not wordy rn i cant fully describe my feral state after finishing bsd earlier today or this thing. hope u enjoy it anyway!#it was rly fun to do a screenshot redraw the bsd animation crew is so freaking talented and i got to see which colours they used where #i changed them bcs they wouldnt been too desaturated but lots of blues in the bg! colour theory babyyy #and got to play around w csp! fun fun been so long since ive done digital art

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fauxyz · 9 months

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every time andrew and neil touch, in order

i wanted to make this list for a while to help me with fic writing, and then once i did, i figured i should share it in case anyone else found it interesting!

for each touch, i've included the book and chapter, a little bit of context, and the quote describing the touch. (a note because this is so long: when the quotes/scenes are long, i cut some pieces out to focus on just the moments where they touch, so these are not always complete quotes.)

first touch moment is below, and the rest are under a cut because this list got LONG. enjoy! :)

1. the foxhole court, chapter 2, when leaving wymack's office to head to the foxhole court for the first time:

"I don't need to be persuasive," Andrew said, putting a hand to Neil's chest as the elevator slowed to a stop. "You'll just learn to do what I say." The doors slid open behind Neil. As soon as they'd parted enough Andrew gave Neil a small push. Neil tripped backward into the lobby. Andrew shoved past him, bumping him from shoulder to hip, and headed for the door.

2. the foxhole court, chapter 3, when andrew sneaks up on neil while neil is looking at the single-stall showers in the locker room:

Lashing out was instinctive, but Andrew caught the elbow Neil would have slammed into his ribs. Andrew laughed and retreated a couple steps.

3. the foxhole court, chapter 7, before leaving for eden's twilight, when andrew sees neil without his contacts:

Neil couldn't leave with Andrew in the way, so he stopped as close to Andrew as he dared and waited for Andrew to move. Andrew did, but only to reach out for Neil with one hand. Neil tensed as Andrew's fingers wrapped around the back of his neck, but Andrew only wanted to pull Neil's head down. Neil focused on Andrew's cheekbone so as not to go cross-eyed and let Andrew study his eyes.

4. the foxhole court, chapter 7, on the way to columbia, when aaron wakes andrew in the backseat:

Andrew's elbow slammed into his diaphragm hard enough to double Neil up over his knees. Aaron, completely unsympathetic, snapped his fingers over Neil's head at Andrew. "Exit," he said. Andrew braced himself on Neil's back and leveraged himself between the front seats.

5. the foxhole court, chapter 7, when neil realizes his drinks were drugged:

Neil lurched to his feet, but Andrew grabbed him by his hair and slammed him back into his seat. A cruel twist pulled his head back at a dangerous angle, and Andrew slammed Neil's hand flat against the tabletop. Neil lifted his other hand to pry Andrew's fingers off, but Nicky caught his wrist. [...] Neil wrenched his hand out from under Andrew's, but Andrew gave his head a warning yank. A bolt of heat went down Neil's neck. Neil hissed in pain and went still. Andrew slid out of his chair and leaned against Neil, letting Neil take his weight while he checked Neil's eyes.

6. the foxhole court, chapter 7, when neil is wandering through the crowd at eden's twilight:

A hand came up against the small of his back and shoved. The push got him free of the crowd and sent him crashing into the back wall.

7. the foxhole court, chapter 8, when neil told andrew the first bit of truth about being nothing and wanting what kevin has:

Andrew reached up and forcibly uncurled Neil's fingers from his mouth. He pushed Neil's hand out of the way and stared Neil down with nothing between them.

8. the foxhole court, chapter 13, after neil protected kevin from riko on kathy's show:

"It's fine, Coach," Andrew said, catching up to them. He touched Neil's back on his way by, fingers light enough to give Neil goose bumps, but didn't slow on his way to Kevin's side.

9. the foxhole court, chapter 13, when talking to andrew after andrew punched the window in his down, and when neil wanted to run after realizing riko was coming after him:

Neil turned away, but Andrew was faster. He rocked forward and grabbed Neil's collar, dragging him to a halt before he could leave. He left sticky blood on the back of Neil's neck from his messy fingers. Neil reached back and tried to pry him off, but Andrew refused to let go.

10. the foxhole court, chapter 14, when neil decided not to run and to come with andrew to eden's instead:

He pressed two fingers to Neil's throat, checking his pulse. When Neil tried to bat him away, Andrew caught his wrist with his free hand. His smile was small and fierce as he leaned forward into Neil's space. "Remember this feeling. This is the moment you stop being the rabbit." Neil was too startled to answer, but Andrew didn't wait. He slid past Neil, using the weight of his body and his grip on Neil's wrist to pull Neil with him out of the way of the door. He let go in the middle of the hallway and slipped his hands in his pockets to wait.

11. the foxhole court, chapter 14, at eden's twilight that night:

A group of people shouldered their way up to the bar counter at Neil's back, pushing him into Andrew. Andrew didn't budge beneath his weight. He was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving.

12. the foxhole court, chapter 14, after finding out about seth's death, when neil asks andrew if he drinks so he doesn't have to feel anything for a while:

Andrew turned to face him. Neil wasn't expecting it and almost ran into him. Andrew dug his fingertip into the hollow of Neil's throat in warning.

13. the foxhole court, chapter 14, when neil says he won't bargain with the foxes' lives against riko, and andrew says he'll handle it:

Neil said nothing. Andrew hooked his fingers in the collar of Neil's shirt and tugged just enough for Neil to feel it. [...] Andrew didn't let go until Neil nodded, and then he reached for Neil's hand. He took his cigarette back, put it between his lips, and pressed a warm key into Neil's empty palm.

14. the raven king, chapter 5, when andrew calls neil's phone and convinces him to keep it:

"I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it." Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil's chin and forced Neil's head up until they were looking at each other.

15. the raven king, chapter 9, when neil asks if the other foxes can come with them on halloween and andrew tells neil to ask matt what happened the previous year:

When Neil started to argue, Andrew hooked a finger under his chin and forced his mouth closed again with an easy jerk of his hand.

16. the raven king, chapter 10, when neil asks andrew to come with nicky to see his parents, and andrew tells neil about cass:

Andrew rocked onto the balls of his feet and reached for Neil. It was all Neil could do to not tense up when Andrew's hands wrapped around his neck. Andrew didn't hold tight enough to cut off his air but tapped his thumbs against Neil's throat in time to Neil's pulse. [...] Andrew tapped his fingers a little faster, an agitated rhythm completely at odds with the mocking smile on his lips. [...] Finally Andrew reached for him again. This time he hooked his fingers in Neil's shirt collar instead of going for his throat.

17. the raven king, chapter 11, when andrew takes off his wristbands and neil sees his scars for the first time:

Neil grabbed hold of Andrew's wrist. He started to turn Andrew's arm over, sure he'd imagined things, but Andrew clamped his free hand down on Neil's forearm. [...] The iron in his grip was at complete odds with the drugged smile on his face. Andrew wasn't bluffing. If Neil didn't let go fast enough Andrew would break his arm. Neil loosened his grip but spread his fingers as he did so. He felt the slight dip and bump of destroyed skin beneath his fingertips and felt his stomach drop. Andrew wrenched Neil's hand off his arm, but he did it in a way that kept his bared forearm turned toward himself.

18. the raven king, chapter 12, when neil and andrew speak on the porch of nicky's house, and neil tries to get an emotional response from him:

Andrew laughed and pulled a hand free of his pocket. He wrapped his fingers around Neil's throat, not tight enough to cut off Neil's air but snug enough to be a warning. [...] Neil reached up and took hold of Andrew's wrist. He couldn't feel the scars through the cotton sleeve but he didn't need to. He knew they were there. [...] Andrew's fingers slowly tightened until Neil couldn't breathe anymore. He refused to shake Andrew off. The tightness in his chest started as simple discomfort but spread until it felt like every bone in his chest would break beneath the pressure. Neil's control started to crumble, no matter how fiercely he clung to it, and he'd just shifted to throw Andrew back when Andrew finally loosened his grip. Instead of letting go, Andrew slid his hand around back of Neil's neck and pulled him in close. He put his mouth at Neil's ear and lowered his voice, but Neil didn't have to see his face to know Andrew was still smiling.

19. the raven king, chapter 13, when neil says he'll watch kevin while andrew is in the hospital:

Andrew took a couple quick steps his direction and shoved Neil as hard as he could. Neil knew it was coming and tried to brace for it, but he still stumbled back a couple steps. [...] When Andrew pushed him again Neil caught hold of his arms and pulled Andrew with him. [...] He laughed, curled his fingers tight around Neil's chin.

20. the raven king, chapter 13, when neil lets andrew feel his scars as part of his truth on credit to earn andrew's trust:

Neil waited, but Andrew didn't let go. With so many people watching them Neil couldn't lift his shirt. He did the next best thing and dragged one of Andrew's hands under the hem. He pressed Andrew's palm to the ugly scarring across his abdomen. Andrew's eyes dropped to Neil's shirt like he could see Neil's marred skin through the dark cotton. [...] Andrew's fingers twitched against Neil's skin.

21. the king's men, chapter 1, when they get back to psu after picking andrew up from easthaven:

Neil was the first out and he caught Andrew's door before Andrew could close it. Andrew didn't move, but there was just enough room for Neil to lean in and get his binder. He straightened and turned to find Andrew had shifted closer. There was nowhere for Neil to stand except up against Andrew, but somehow Neil didn't mind.

22. the king's men, chapter 1, when neil gave his armbands back:

His gaze dropped immediately to the dark cloth in Neil's outstretched hand and he took them without a word.

23. the king's men, chapter 1, when andrew found out neil went to the ravens over the winter break and realized about the tattoo:

He scratched up a corner of the tape and ripped the bandage off like he wanted to take Neil's face with it.

24. the king's men, chapter 1, when neil said he went to the ravens to protect andrew:

Andrew clapped a hand over his mouth, smothering the rest of his words, and Neil knew he'd failed.

25. the king's men, chapter 2, when andrew goes to get neil from the library:

Fingers digging into the back of his skull startled him awake. He grabbed for a gun, for a knife, for anything close enough to buy him room to flee, and sent the computer mouse skidding across the table. Neil stared blankly at it, then at the screen in front of him. Fingers clenched into a fist in his hair and Neil didn't resist as Andrew forcibly tilted his head back.

26. the king's men, chapter 2, when neil got between matt and andrew when andrew went after matt for hitting kevin:

He used his body and momentum to shove Andrew back. He expected Andrew to hold his ground, but Andrew let himself get pushed and flicked Neil an unconcerned look.

27. the king's men, chapter 2, when neil protested that he could still walk when wymack says he doesn't want neil to move too much because of his injuries:

Andrew dug a fingernail into the hollow of Neil's throat until he had Neil's undivided attention. "Sit down and be still." Neil batted Andrew's hand away and turned back to the couch.

28. the king's men, chapter 2, when neil protested that wymack was benching him because of his injuries:

Neil forgot the rest of his argument when Andrew pinched his wrist. A bolt of fire popped through his fingers and he snatched his hand away as fast as he could.

29. the king's men, chapter 3, when andrew sees neil's scars for the first time (lots of touches here):

He got his shirt over his head and to his elbows before Andrew got tired of watching him struggle and tugged the shirt loose. [...] Andrew reached for the bandages on Neil's wrists, and Neil let him rip tape and gauze off. [...] On Neil's right shoulder was a burn scar, courtesy of getting smacked by a hot iron. Andrew put his left hand to it, fingertips lining up perfectly with the raised bumps the iron's holes had left behind. His right thumb found the puckered flesh from a bullet. [...] "This," Andrew dug his fingers harder into the iron mark, "is not from a life on the run." [...] Andrew was quiet a long time, then dropped his hand to the slashes across Neil's gut.

30. the king's men, chapter 9, when they talk on the roof and andrew gives neil a key to his new car:

Andrew dug a finger in Neil's cheek and forcibly turned his head away. "Don't look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren't mine."

31. the king's men, chapter 9, when andrew kisses him for the first time:

With that, Andrew caught Neil's face in his hands and leaned in. [...] Andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with Neil's mouth. Neil's heart stuttered to a stop at the first hard press of lips against his and he reached up without thinking. His hand made it as far as Andrew's jaw before he remembered Andrew didn't like to be touched. Neil caught hold of Andrew's coat sleeve instead and knotted his fingers in the heavy wool. The touch was a trigger. Andrew leaned back just enough to say, "Tell me no."

32. the king's men, chapter 9, when neil doesn't say no to the kiss:

He practically shoved Neil's arm away from him and leaned back out of Neil's space.

33. the king's men, chapter 10, when they kiss back in the dorm (cut some of the end of this scene for length):

Neil took the pint from Andrew's unresisting fingers, stacked it on top of his, and leaned in. He stopped shy of actually kissing Andrew, not daring to touch him until Andrew gave him a green light. Andrew's expression didn't change but there was a subtle shift in his body's tension that told Neil he'd gotten Andrew's attention. Neil lifted a hand but stopped it a safe difference from Andrew's face. Andrew caught hold of his wrist and squeezed in warning. [...] For a second Neil thought Andrew would push him away and be done with this. Andrew did push, but he followed Neil down. The short carpet was rough against Neil's knuckles where Andrew pinned his hand over his head. Neil couldn't complain when Andrew was an unyielding weight on top of him. He started to reach for Andrew again but stopped himself halfway there. Andrew snagged that hand too and held it down out of the way. "Stay," Andrew said, and leaned down to kiss him.

34. the king's men, chapter 10, when neil asks andrew to let something in after the foxes win and move onto round three of finals:

Andrew pushed Neil out of the way and slid off the car.

35. the king's men, chapter 11, when neil and andrew are alone in the dorm again, after andrew talks about how he hasn't figured out which neil is the lesser of two evils:

His fingers were cold from the can when he curled them around Neil's chin. [...] Andrew waited until he'd gone still before kissing him. [...] He was cotton-headed and unsteady by the time Andrew pressed his other hand flat against Neil's abdomen. Every nerve ending from his chest down seemed to twitch in response. Neil clenched his hands into fists like that would keep them where they were and let Andrew back him into the wall.

36. the king's men, chapter 11, after neil's phone goes off with his countdown text while they're kissing:

Neil kissed his neck, hoping to distract him, and was rewarded with a startled jolt. That was enough reason to do it again. Andrew pushed his face away, but they were standing too close together for Neil to miss the way he shivered. Andrew kissed him before Neil could say anything about it. Andrew pushed him harder into the wall, mapping him out through his shirt from shoulders to waist and back again. He'd had his hands on Neil's bare skin just a couple weeks ago when he saw Neil's scars, but this felt completely different. This was Andrew learning every inch and edge of him. His hands had never felt this heavy or hot before. Every press and demanding slide of his fingers sent heat curling through Neil's veins.

37. the king's men, chapter 11, when andrew moves neil's hands to touch him while they're kissing:

He hadn't said that aloud, but as if on cue Andrew followed Neil's arms down to his wrists and poked his fingers into Neil's pockets. He was making sure Neil's hands were still there, Neil guessed, so Neil twisted his hands deeper in response. Andrew caught hold of his wrists and squeezed to stop him. After a moment's consideration he pulled Neil's hands free and held them up by his head. He kissed Neil like he wanted to bruise his lips and leaned back to fix Neil with an intense stare. "Just here." "Okay," Neil said, and dug his fingers into Andrew's hair as soon as Andrew's grip went slack. [...] All that mattered now was how easy it was to pull Andrew in for another kiss. Andrew slowly let go of his wrists and placed a hand flat on Neil's chest. They stood like that an age, Andrew testing Neil's control and Neil content to kiss their mouths numb.

38. the king's men, chapter 11, andrew getting neil off for the first time (some of this quote is cut because this scene was too long):

Andrew's hand between his legs was an unexpected weight. Neil didn't realize how tight he twisted his fingers in Andrew's hair until Andrew bit his lower lip in warning. Neil grumbled something incoherent and forcibly loosened his death grip. He thought he tasted blood, but it was a fleeting tang quickly forgotten as Andrew got his button and zipper undone. Andrew wasn't gentle, but Neil didn't want him to be. [...] They stood cheek-to-cheek a minute, an hour, a day, Neil's heart pounding in his temples and overloaded nerves shuddering. Coherent thought came back in lazy, fractured pieces and the first thing Neil was really aware of was how tight Andrew's fingers were digging into his chest. Neil tried to look down, but Andrew gave him a short shove in response. [...] Neil flexed his fingers in Andrew's hair, fixing his grip so he could tug Andrew into a short kiss. Andrew tolerated it for only a moment before leaning back. He wiped his hand on Neil's shirt before tugging at Neil's wrists. Neil obediently let go of him and didn't miss the way Andrew watched him lower his hands.

39. the king's men, chapter 11, when they start kissing more often:

Andrew pinned him against chilly concrete and worked hot hands under his shirt.

40. the king's men, chapter 11, when they're chatting on the roof and neil takes andrew's cigarette:

Andrew pinched his wrist and took the stick back.

41. the king's men, chapter 11, after neil shuts andrew up by saying he is nothing and andrew wants nothing:

"Stop talking," Andrew said, and kissed him.

42. the king's men, chapter 12, on the bus alone before the game on his last countdown day when neil says he still doesn't swing because all he wants is andrew:

He buried his hands in Andrew's hair and tugged him in for a kiss. It was easy to forget this endless ride and tonight's game with Andrew's hand on his thigh and teeth on his lip.

43. the king's men, chapter 14, in the hotel meeting for the first time after neil was taken:

The weight of a hand on the back of his neck said he'd bought Andrew enough time to reach him. Nathaniel didn't remember closing his eyes, but he forced them open again. He tried straightening, but Andrew caught his shoulder and shoved him to his knees.

44. the king's men, chapter 14, andrew kneeling in front of neil to look at him in the hotel:

Andrew's expression was deceptively calm, but there was iron in his grip when he seized Nathaniel's chin.

45. the king's men, chapter 14, andrew looking over neil's injuries:

Andrew let go of him so he could tug Nathaniel's hood out of the way. He dragged a finger along the lines of tape keeping the myriad of bandages in place as if looking for the best place to start. He tore the gauze off Nathaniel's right cheek first, exposing the striped lines left by Lola's knife. He favored the stitches with a cursory glance before moving on. The tape on Nathaniel's other cheek hurt like hell coming off, since it pulled the skin around his burns, and Andrew froze with his hand a few scant inches from Nathaniel's face.

46. the king's men, chapter 14, andrew looking at the burns and injuries on neil's face:

Andrew pressed two fingers to the underside of Nathaniel's chin to turn his head. Nathaniel let himself be guided and said nothing while Andrew looked his fill. When Andrew dropped his hand and clenched it in Nathaniel's hoodie, Nathaniel risked looking back at him. There was violence in Andrew's eyes, but at least he hadn't shoved Nathaniel away yet.

47. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil tells andrew why he didn't say anything about his father's men to protect the foxes and that he didn't know they'd already planned a riot:

Nathaniel still had his hands up by Andrew's face, so he lightly tapped a thumb against the bruise at Andrew's eye.

48. the king's men, chapter 14, when abby tries to approach when she sees neil's face:

He caught hold of Nathaniel to turn his face forward again and shot Abby a look so vicious she stopped in her tracks.

49. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil tries to get andrew to focus on him and not abby:

Nathaniel gave Andrew's hair a cautious tug. Andrew resisted the first two attempts but finally let Nathaniel drag his attention back where it needed to be.

50. the king's men, chapter 14, when abby backs off:

He didn't hear her step back but he knew she did by the way Andrew's death grip on his skull relaxed. Nathaniel kept one hand buried in Andrew's hair but finally lowered the other.

51. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil tells andrew what happened to his father:

He crossed a precarious line and pressed two fingers to Andrew's chest over his heart.

52. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil says he'll leave if andrew doesn't want him:

Andrew hooked his fingers in the collar of Nathaniel's sweatshirt and tugged just enough for him to feel it.

53. the king's men, chapter 14, when browning keeps interrupting their time with neil:

Andrew tugged Nathaniel's hoodie and said in German, "Get rid of them before I kill them."

54. the king's men, chapter 14, on the car ride back from the interrogation:

Neil sat in the backseat with Andrew and toyed with the bandages on his face. Andrew popped the back of his head when he realized what Neil was doing and ignored Neil's scowl.

55. the king's men, chapter 14, when neil starts panicking when he sees his injuries when abby changes his bandages:

Neil didn't know what sound he made but Andrew's fingers were a sudden and unforgiving weight on the back of his neck. Andrew pushed him forward and held him down. Neil tried to breathe but his chest was as tight as a rubber band ready to snap.

56. the king's men, chapter 14, after andrew gets neil to calm down:

He went limp and let Andrew pull him back upright.

57. the king's men, chapter 15, when andrew is trying to get neil ready for a shower while matt is still in the room:

Andrew waited until he was seated before lifting the bottom edge of Neil's hoodie. He raised it an inch or two, then checked another spot, and finally poked his hand up under the edge.

58. the king's men, chapter 15, when neil struggles getting undressed for a shower:

Andrew gave him only a second before peeling the sleeves off his arms one at a time.

59. the king's men, chapter 15, andrew putting the bags over his bandages and injuries:

Andrew pulled a garbage bag over each arm, tore the excess edges off, and taped the jagged ends to Neil's biceps. He tugged at both bags to check for any give and added another layer of tape to be sure. When Neil's arms were good, Andrew started on his face. He picked up one of the plastic ends he'd torn off, folded it over and over in on itself, and taped it over one of Neil's cheeks like a shiny black bandage. Neil was pretty sure Andrew put more tape than plastic on Neil's face, but Neil wasn't going to complain. Andrew finished his other cheek and inspected his handiwork. Neil guessed he was satisfied with the end result because Andrew tossed the scissors and roll of tape off to one side.

60. the king's men, chapter 15, when neil tries to secure the blanket around his shoulders but can't because of the bags on his hands:

Andrew watched him try twice, then pushed his hands aside and did it for him.

61. the king's men, chapter 15, when getting into the shower:

Andrew studied his chest with a bored look, but the fingers he pressed to Neil's scars were a heavy and lingering weight.

62. the king's men, chapter 15, in the bathroom before the shower:

Neil leaned in to kiss him, needing to know if Andrew would lean away or push him back. Instead Andrew opened his mouth to Neil without hesitation and slid his hand up Neil's chest to his throat. Kissing hurt his injured cheeks but Neil fought to ignore that twinging pain. It'd only been a couple days since those kisses on the bus but right now it felt like forever.

63. the king's men, chapter 15, after kissing, before showering:

"You are a mess," Andrew said against Neil's lips.

64. the king's men, chapter 15, getting in the shower:

Neil stepped on the hems of his pants to get them started in coming off, but Andrew did most of the work stripping him. It was awkward being naked in front of someone else, his scars and bruises on full display, but the uncomfortable curl in Neil's gut was eased somewhat by the detached way Andrew handled him.

65. the king's men, chapter 15, hair washing:

A hand in his hair jarred him from his thoughts and he cracked his eyes open to see Andrew standing in front of him. Andrew hadn't bothered to get undressed aside from stripping his bands and shoes off. Water plastered his black shirt to him, and small streams raced down his temples and over his cheeks to drip off his chin. Neil reached for his face, remembered the bags just in time, and frowned a bit in annoyance. Andrew pushed his hand aside and yanked the shower curtain closed.

66. the king's men, chapter 15, not washing anymore (ended this quote early but we all know what happens next):

Andrew got Neil's hair washed efficiently, if not gently, but by the time he moved on to Neil's body there was more kissing than cleaning. Andrew made the mistake of turning his face away at one point, so Neil chased water down the side of Andrew's neck. Andrew's fingers clenched convulsively on Neil's sides as a shudder wracked Andrew's frame. [...]

67. the king's men, chapter 15, after the shower:

Andrew scrubbed him dry, careful around his injuries and too-vigorous everywhere else, and peeled the dripping bags from Neil's arms and face. Andrew ran a considering finger along the bandages on Neil's left arm before helping Neil into the loosest clothes he owned.

68. the king's men, chapter 15, first night on vacation with the foxes:

Andrew wasn't far behind him, and together they got Neil changed out for bed. [...] Despite his reservations, there was something painfully familiar about the weight of another body in his bed. Less familiar was the way it felt being pushed deeper into the mattress, Andrew's hands on his shoulders and tongue in his mouth, but that was something Neil could definitely get used to. [...] He buried his unease and confusion deep and worked bandaged fingers into Andrew's hair. He didn't care how much it hurt so long as he could pull Andrew's elbow. Andrew wrenched out of his grip but stopped moving.

69. the king's men, chapter 15 (the second one), after andrew confronts katelyn in the library:

Neil let him get to the railing overlooking the campus pond before catching hold of Andrew's elbow. Andrew wrenched out of his grip but stopped moving.

70. the king's men, chapter 15 (the second one), after asking how andrew can stand to be with neil after everything he'd been through:

Then Andrew was back, as calm and uncaring as always, and he caught Neil's wrist to push his hand to his side. He dug his fingers in before letting go, not quite hard enough to hurt, and said, "That's why."

71. the king's men, chapter 15 (the second one), when they're alone after winning a game and the rest of the team celebrated:

Andrew was ready when Neil turned back to him, and he caught Neil's collar to pull him down. Neil planted one hand against the rough carpet to keep himself leveraged off Andrew's body. The other he buried in the beanbag near Andrew's head. Andrew dragged a hand down Neil's arm from his shoulder to his wrist.

72. the king's men, chapter 15 (the second one), when neil told andrew he's not a pipe-dream:

Neil ignored that dismissal because Andrew was already pulling him down again. They kissed until Neil felt dizzy, until he wasn't sure he could hold himself up anymore, and then Andrew pulled Neil's hand off the beanbag chair. He held it up away from them for an eternity, then slowly pressed it flat against his chest and let go. Andrew tensed up underneath Neil's hand but relaxed before Neil could pull away.

73. the king's men, chapter 16, at eden's twilight:

The club was too loud for Neil to hear Andrew's approach, but suddenly Andrew was pressed into his side by the crowd.

74. the king's men, epilogue, when neil realizes he has everything he wants:

Now he couldn't help but smile and pull Andrew in.

#andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #i might have missed some things but #wow lol looking at this list #i cant believe i made this whole thing #anyway i hope this is helpful or at least cool to look at for other people #i'm just the kind of guy who likes to make spreadsheets about everything so of course i have spreadsheets crossreferencing so much in aftg #aftg #all for the game #UGH had to edit this because tumblr didnt save one of my earlier edits and I didn't realize until now

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cervideity · 2 months

Text

g: "man every...in every idiot and cool guy pairing, every dude thinks theyre the cool guy. have you noticed that?"

b: "hahaha! .. i dont-"

g: "nah im just kidding, we're the rare duo that- that both think theyre the idiot."

b: "..which makes us both the cool guy?"

g: "..i would love to believe that"

#literally . GR. didnt realize how short it really is til i just watched the full thing. whatever.#i just like the earlier parts anyway. now i dont have to have this on the back of my mind... dot dotdot smile #green n blue have a very important dynamic to me #four swords #four swords manga #green link #blue link

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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months

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"Non paeniteo potitus."

+ details & process

And, process !!

The jump btwn the second to last and last always surprise me whenever I make one of these because I always forget to take snapshots after I start painting. It's always like: oh yeah heres the lineart with some colors- BOOM fully finished✨️

What he's holding are the Austrian imperial scepter and orb, seen below:

I was going to draw the crown too but decided I don't hate myself that much(maybe some other day), and gave him a golden laurel crown, bcs I'm obsessed with that as a motif, and also its very remincient of the boy king statue that started this whole thing!

There's some symbolism of this, both intentionally but also just historically. I love that the orb represents that the monarch is holding the world in their hand, basically every old monarchy has one of those, and I think it's very cool for symbolism. But also bcs of that, I was forced to basically draw catholic fanart so, you win some you lose some. The star halo above him head is both to reference those religious statues with star crowns(I saw them a lot in Europe and they imprinted onto my brain), as well as: his four championships of course!

#TL: 'I don't apologize for winning' 🤭🤭🤭#^ was gonna find some old latin quote to put but was like. oh yeah of course !!!#noy sure if its entirely correct. kinda wanted to email my hs latin teacher to ask but i finished this too late at night #anyways please dont let this flop SKDKLGLVLV #im really proud of it okah 😭😭😭 it was actually so much fun and enjoyable and nice etc dtc #i questioned to myself earlier abt why my chibi art always gets more notes than my detailed art #and i realized. like unless youve been following the lore of my blog. this isnt even recognizable as f1 fanart SJFKLVLV #but thats okay because its my niche brainrot au and i will do what i want >:)#the hair and the relics are def my proudest part of this #i mentioned before but i have trouble yknow translating irl stuff or complicated stuff into drawing #but all of this came really smoothly to me in a very unexpected way #god his hair is just sooooo its ssoooooooo!!!!!!!!! i wanna pet him 🥹#but i think it def helped that i kept posting the process on my close friends #and my two irl friends(as well as some friends on here! ty!!) encouraged me a lot abt it so :D #but anyways yep pls take my brainrot art 🙏🙏 it took me 13+ hours in the span of like 3 days basically #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #catie.art.#boy king au

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moongothic · 5 months

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Honestly I think crocodile/dragon and crocodile/Doflamingo are only interesting when treated as failed relationships spinning off into increasingly petty grudges and instigations. Become a warlord to piss off one ex by working with his hated father only for the OTHER ex to ALSO become a warlord to drive you insane. Etc.

I am now going to take his as an opportunity to rant about Dragodile because I unironically think it's an interesting ship if Crocodad Real and I don't think I'm ever going to find a better excuse to rant about it unprompted lmao SO HERE WE GO

But yes like. Dragodile is so fucking interesting to me

A marine and a pirate falling in love with each other is already some starcrossed lovers kinda BS. But then it's like, a FORMER marine and pirate who is WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT. That's EXTRA JUICY, it adds layers to the starcrossed lovers shit, and I am not immune to it, it's FACINATING, like what was the dynamic here

But also we don't even know when Dragon left the marines and when he and Crocodile first met, so for all we know it could've been some real enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies shit AND THAT'S SO INTERESTING

(Also the mere concept that Dragon could've been chasing Crocodile around kinda like Smoker tried to chase Luffy, only for Crocodile to become a Shichibukai and Dragon having to give up because they're on the same side now (kinda). Like. That is so fucking funny. And then he leaves the Marines to start a revolution. Or just out of spite dshgjdgs)

Then there's the absolutely hysterical part where Crocodile is the meanest, most intimidating, standoff-ish asshole around. So the idea Dragon was fucking into that is INCREDIBLE. THIS MAN LIKES BEING BULLIED DFSHFKGHFGJHDS (It's possible Young Croc might've been less mean but it's funnier if he wasn't)

And yeah. Somehow. In complete secret. A romance blooms.

And then there's a baby.

And Crocodile transes his gender.

And there's a divorce.

And 17 years later Crocodile has commited dozens of unforgivable warcrimes that are almost exactly the kind of things Dragon wanted to stop the government from doing to begin with.

Mind you, I don't actually think there's coming back from that, this relationship was burned to the ground and the ashes blown away by wind, there is nothing left

But could you imagine if despite the anger and the hurt and the warcrimes they still somehow loved each other

I would just

#Moon posting #Crocodad #Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Dragodile #OP Meta #I keep on mentioning Dragodile Divorce but to be fair we don't even know if they had been married #All we do have is the fact that Crocodile Very Specifically doesn't wear a ring on his ring finger (in the manga)#(First half of Alabasta it's his middle finger but from the second half onwards it's consistently been his ring finger)#And there's that SBS where a person asked if the Shichibukai were gonna remain single etc and if they had any kids #And Oda was like ''hMmM I wOnDeR iF aNy oF tHeM hAvE bEeN mArRiEd... Anyway I imagine their kids would be like this''#And then very very specifically he only did Doflamingo Mihawk and **Crocodile**#So like. If Crocodad Real. The two could've been married briefly (in secret). Probably just engaged in my personal opinion #Also like. Like we all know Iva's Magic HRT is POWERFUL STUFF right #There is something so deeply tragic to me about the just the mental image #Of Crocodile trying to put on his engagement ring post-HRT only to realize it doesn't fit his massive man hand #Like a horrible premonition of how this relationship was going to end #Even if he was the same on the inside he no longer literally fit the mere concept of the woman Dragon had fallen in love with #Can you imagine the series of emotions Crocodile would've gone through realizing that #Or who knows maybe he realized it all much earlier-- when and however the fuck he decided to get HRT from Iva-chan #There is much to be said about One Piece's running theme of loneliness and the loneliness queer people experience #God Oda please I need this man's backstory #I need to know what the fuck happened #I NEED TO KNOW HOW THE DIVORCE HAPPENED #NGL there's a part of me that almost hopes Dragon was Objectively Horrible (in a heated moment that he really regrets)#Just so Crocodile could be at least a little justified in being at resentful towards Dragon #I dunno it would not sit too well with me if the Cishet Man Dragon was 100% In The Right And Never Did Anything Wrong #And then it's the transgender man who does all the morally questionable horrible shit because he's an evil queer #(There's more than plenty of positive queer rep in OP to balance out one (1) evil trans character don't get me wrong)#(But it would be sad if Crocodile was An Evil Queer especially because he's the one who has transitioned)

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stabbystiletto · 4 months

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😈🧥🐈‍⬛😮‍💨🧥🐈‍⬛

Kuro looked so cozy and comfy in that new artwork so I wanted to draw them in matching sweaters lolololol 🤣🤣🤣

also ponytail kuro is 1000/10 please strike just give us ponytail kuro just once in the manga please lol i mean he's had one in a few different arts now so i don't think it's out of the realm of possibility lolololol 🙏🥺🙏🥺🙏

#servamp #kuro #sleepy ash #inner kuro #inner sloth #kuro's demon #look man i still don't know what to call this guy lol but strike listed him as “kuro's demon” on that one popularity poll so i dunno lolol #but i tagged him as like 'inner kuro' on all my earlier posts so I'm keeping that for consistency lolololol 😆😅#anyways i forgot #i was gonna get rid of kuro's pink lil nose cause i realized he was almost always drawn without it #but it's just so dang cute i decided to leave it lol #lil pink snoot ☺️☺️☺️#very boop-able lil nose lol ☺️☺️☺️#🥰👉👃🐱🥰 lol #stabbyscribbles

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scoopstomyahoy · 6 months

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thinking about a no upside down au steddie fic where steve and eddie run into each other years after moving away from hawkins, and eddie remembers steve and his fall from grace as king, and is kind of intrigued to see what kind of person he is now

and steve doesn’t remember him at all at first, because, look, eddie changed his hair again, and steve’s had a few head injuries (no upside down but i imagine he still went thru some shit with the party and with robin), and he didn’t really think about eddie in high school anyway, and he’s trying to forget about hawkins as much as possible (besides the kiddos, but they’re all moved out for college now, anyway) (obviously he lives with robin)

but steve is different now, happier, more open, flirts with guys, flirts with EDDIE, and eddie….. well, he wants to know more! and he tells steve he knows him from hawkins, and steve’s sunny little smile flickers a little, but he just apologizes for not remembering him and mentions he has some memory problems

and they get to know each other, and eventually as eddie tells him more (and maybe with the help of some yearbooks) steve remembers eddie. and. well. they like getting to know each other. and they like each other. and then they get together

eventually they’ve been together for a while, and eddie thinks he wants to maybe introduce steve to wayne, and he mentions he’s going to go back to hawkins for a long weekend (as he’s done a couple times) and this time he’d like steve to join him

and again steve’s sunny smile flickers a bit, but he says he’d love to meet eddie’s uncle, and… they go to hawkins. and it goes well— meeting wayne, at least, but steve seems a little on edge the whole time they’re there, tense when they drive in, fidgety when they go to the grocery store, et cetera. eddie thinks maybe steve is nervous about staying with the man who raised eddie, which is ridiculous, because wayne LOVES steve.

it’s not til they leave the town altogether that steve relaxes, and eddie realizes it wasn’t “meeting the parents” but rather going back to hawkins. and speaking of meeting the parents, steve didn’t ever bring his own up, even though eddie knew they still lived in hawkins. and the way steve glanced around whenever they went in public, like he was scared of getting recognized

and he asks about it, and steve doesn’t really want to talk about it, but he gives eddie snippets of it. people he wanted to leave behind in hawkins, memories that resurfaced, things he wants to forget

eddie goes back to see wayne sometimes, and the first time he doesn’t know whether to ask steve to come, so he just mentions he’s thinking about going to hawkins for some weekend and steve immediately starts making plans with him as if the invite is implicit. they go back to hawkins several more times, steve still tense and pent up the whole time they’re there

over time steve reveals more and more to eddie. everything that made hawkins hell for him, from the things he himself did in high school to the things people did to him. stuff tommy and carol and billy said to him. some of it is just typical high school bullshit (and oh, the nancy thing.) some of it is the tragedies steve went through, the horrors he had to protect his kids from. the injuries he sustained. more generally the homophobia that permeated the whole town, keeping steve from being himself. the lack of support in the indiana public school system for a high school senior who’s had two concussions and gone through incredible trauma.

his parents. the reason why steve’s mail is addressed to ‘steve buckley’ now, not ‘steve harrington’.

(that doesn’t come out until much, much later, and eddie is kicking himself for ever suggesting steve come back to hawkins.)

eddie, who hardly had an easy time of it in hawkins, is absolutely blown away by what steve had gone through in the same town, right under his nose. the entire persona that steve was trying to leave behind — the cool as a cucumber, unaffected, douchey mask he wore to hide all that he had endured. the head injuries. the emotional tragedies he had gone through. the way he had to be the rock for the kids even as he went through the same things as them.

he tries to tell steve they never have to go back to hawkins again, and steve is having none of it. he tells steve wayne can come visit them in their new city, and steve thinks that’s completely unfair to the man who had raised eddie, seriously, you’re going to make him come all the way up here?

and well i don’t know exactly what the ending is but steve is so stubborn about trying to love hawkins because it was eddie’s home and he wants to be able to go see wayne because wayne deserves to see his kid and eddie deserves to see his uncle and steve doesn’t want to be the problem :(

#steddie #stranger things #this isn’t very fleshed out but just. hawkins as an incredibly scarring place for steve #something built up in his mind as a very dangerous place for him not just because of what happened there but who he had to be there #i think ultimately it would culminate in them going back to hawkins and running into steve’s parents when they least expect it #and steve gets to yell at them in public and tell them they suck and ruin their image and eddie is being his little guard dog next to him #baring his teeth #for the no upside down part of the au i think it would have to be like. nebulous tragedy of season 1 struck them #barb still died (sorry barb) so that his relationship with nancy falls apart. will and el are twins and they disappear the same night #steve knows the kids earlier in the timeline in this one and has already basically adopted them when will and el go missing #eddie was never the victim of a massive witch hunt but jason still harasses him during his third senior year and gets ppl to gang up on him #so he was never like Wanted by all of hawkins and can never return but he sure doesn’t feel welcome there besides w wayne #oh i also think it would be important that one of the trips steve snaps at eddie bc he’s so strung out and immediately regrets it #and takes it as proof that when in hawkins Steve Is A Bad Person and tries to explain this to eddie #eddie meanwhile is trying to convince steve that he’s not a bad person and that he was being mean because he’s completely stressed out #and he wouldn’t be so stressed out if he didn’t make himself come back to hawkins #anyway ultimately. steve realized hawkins is just a place where bad things happened. it is not a place that makes people (including himself)#bad. it’s just. a place. and steve did not grow and change for the better bc he got out of hawkins. he got better bc he put the effort in #god i just. love steve so much and the version of him in my mind is so much better developed than what the duffers are doing

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cacowhistle · 7 months

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thinking about the fionna and cake finale and. i've been seeing people upset or annoyed that betty & simon's story focused on how simon had to learn to recognize that what they had was unbalanced and not necessarily fair, because they wanted betty to also realize that she placed too much of her self worth in simon, and they wanted her to learn to live for herself.

i think these people forgot about the episode in adventure time that does this. mainly because, at the end of the episode, it seems like she didn't learn anything at all.

In s10e11, "Temple of Mars," Finn, Jermaine, and Betty have to go through a mind maze to find Jake--and many parts of the maze are relevant to Betty's obsession with Simon/Ice King.

The second room of the "maze" has a chalkboard with a long and complicated equation on it. Betty tries to solve it, thinking it will help, while an Ice Thing messes up the equation as she tries to solve it, preventing her from doing so. It's meant to represent how trying to "solve" the crown's curse is leading nowhere, and that Betty is trying for a hopeless cause.

The last room is the most important to Betty's story, though--it's a window into her past, where she realizes that she needed to take more time for herself. She needed to focus on her, instead of dropping everything for Simon. She makes this realization and changes things for the hypothetical, maze room version of Betty--but naturally, this can't change the past. She's made her choices, and she has to live with that.

I think at the end of the episode, when she takes the "wrong" message away from all of this--she dedicates herself to trying even harder to "fix" Simon--it's mostly because she's scared to accept that she... not wasted, but lost so much of her life because she was so focused on what Simon wanted, or what she thought that Simon needed. She's also still under the effect of the Magic Man hat, so she's still affected by the sadness/madness of that, which likely twisted her view of the situation as well.

But then in the AT finale, she makes her choice to leave Simon. She does it through wishing for his safety, sure, but she still makes the choice to leave him. And in Fionna and Cake, what we see of her--or what's left of her, because we don't know how she's changed, really--is something bigger than what she was before. GOLBetty seems to have realized her own part in the unbalancing of the relationship between them. But that's not what Fionna and Cake is about--it's about Simon, and how he has to move on. Betty has already moved on by the time we see her again. She's showing Simon that, and she's showing him that he has to move on, too. But it's her choice. She could have stayed with him, but...

She takes the bus to the airport. And she takes it without him.

#adventure time #fionna and cake #simon petrikov #betty grof #adventure time analysis #fionna and cake analysis #idk. thinking thoughts.#they're so important 2 me. they are so in love #they had to MOVE ON and they have to LIVE WITHOUT EACH OTHER and they have to do whats right for themselves and im so normal abt it i swear #and betty made that realization earlier than simon did but she was too afraid to admit it until now #and she was right!!! and simon recognized that!!! and he let her go!!! and she wanted to go!!!! im so. augh.#also hot take but some ppl saying they wanted betty to “realize that she was also at fault” are just taking the whole situation as like #“uwu simon didnt do anything WRONG betty never TOLD HIM how was he supposed to know it was happening so really its HER FAULT” like girl no #they are both at fault. she shouldve done something but he shouldve noticed #augh. im unwell about them. anyways

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