#anyways that last part its cait's tears not rain | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewholekeg · 4 years

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And just for funsies, I decided to write a little companion piece to cap off my Inktober as well!

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“... Could still be some debris, so you might have to jimmy it a little the first few times. These older locks have more wiggle room though. How long did you have those keys?”

“Hmm?” She blinked, as if just remembering the locksmith was there. “Oh... ten, maybe twelve years? Probably old than that though.”

“For sure,” the locksmith said. “Anyways, you shouldn’t have to worry about the new keys breaking any time soon unless you’re doing something stupid with them. It’s good to keep something to deal with ice when it happens, though.”

“Right,” she said. “I’ve got a spare pick I can drop in the bed. Thanks for this.”

The locksmith just laughed. “Thank my nephew,” he said. “Normally wouldn’t even be out of bed this early.”

She smiled wryly. “You and me both,” she said. “Not gonna complain about someone fixing my truck for free just because of the hours, though.” She rubbed her nose. “Nice to see the sunrise now and then too.”

“Good air for it out here,” the locksmith said, nodding to the horizon. “Anyways, I’m gonna head back. You have any problems with it, you come see me in the city, yeah?”

The locksmith reached into his coat and pulled out a card, which she took. “Sure,” she said.

The locksmith gave her one last nod before he headed back to his car, muttering something about coffee.

She breathed out slowly, leaning against the truck’s hood as she worked the new key onto her ring. The hood was cold, pebbled with ice from the freezing rain the night before, but she didn’t mind.

Well, no, that was a lie. She did mind, but the old leather seats would probably be just as bad, so getting used to it early wouldn’t kill her. She slipped her keys back into her pocket and looked up at the sunrise.

It was pretty nice, all things considered. Even when she could drag herself out of bed in time, it was hard to really see the sunrise in the city over the skyline.

“It’s good to get out of the city sometimes, even if you already live on the edge of it.”

She snapped back to reality and realized that the Locksmith’s nephew was standing beside her. “Ah, yeah,” she said. She hesitated for a moment, staring at him, and added, “...Thanks for all this. And, uh, for the ride last night.”

“Aw, it’s nothin’,” he said. “I couldn’t just leave someone sitting out in the freezing rain.”

“Seems like nobody else shared the sentiment,” she said.

He laughed. “Well, they probably just didn’t want to be the crazy who creeps you out by telling you to get in their car in the middle of the night,” he said. He ran his fingers through his hair. “I uh... tend to forget about that kind of stuff, so I get to be the nice guy.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have taken the ride if I thought you were that creepy,” she said. She pantomimed a few punches. “Or I didn’t think I could take you.”

He laughed again. “You’re probably right, I’m not as tough as I look. Still... sorry if I did. Creep you out, I mean. You looked kinda anxious and all...”

She shrugged. “I just look like that,” she said.

She paused. What was it? Something in the way he held his shoulders? Something about his jaw? Was she really so shallow that just his chest reminded her? But his eyes were different.

“At least... my first boyfriend told me I did,” she said. “He used to say I looked like I had to solve world hunger. Used to tell me I scowled like a man...

“He used to tell me I was lucky I still looked good even though I worried so much. Tell me I was lucky that he liked ‘rough’ girls. Big girls. Used to tell me I was lucky I had him, because anyone else...”

She turned away from the locksmith’s nephew, and back to the sunrise. “And then he died. Got in a car crash going home from a party. He hadn’t even been drinking or doing anything stupid, just got t-boned by a trucker who’d been on the road for forty hours.

“And you know, at the funeral everyone was saying how bad they felt for me, how awful and heartbroken I must feel... and I did feel awful, but only because... what I really felt was relieved.”

Vaguely, she was aware of how he was staring at her. Vaguely, she knew she should probably stop. Wave it off, apologize, cut and run... but she didn’t. She was too tired.

“Every moment I’d spent with him felt like a fight. Not like a screaming match, but like... a tug of war. Like I had to pull against him just to keep from getting dragged somewhere. We were only in highschool, he could never really do anything, but...”

She sighed. “Well, I guess he did more than I realized. Got his hooks in me. Every time I met a guy I’d brace myself for the inevitable. I’d push back against even the slightest comment, get mad over any little thing, or... well, sometimes I wouldn’t even wait. Sometimes I’d start swinging first, just so they couldn’t.” She shrugged. “Because that’s what I thought relationships were supposed to be. It took me almost ten years to even realize he’d just been abusive.”

The crawled more and more over the horizon. The creeping, finger-bone shadows of the birch trees gradually receded to something pleasant in the early mist. For a few moment she could have sworn she was in a postcard.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know I probably shouldn’t unload like that. I just...”

“I get it,” he said. “You never have to see me again if you don’t want to. I’m the person you can tell anything.”

She shook her head. “I just want to tell someone, something,” she said. “I was so convinced that everything had to be a fight that I just wound up pushing people away... I live in Grandparent City, and even if I didn’t I inherited the house. I just don’t... I guess I just wanted to make a connection with someone.” She shrugged. “Skip the part I always fuck up on, I guess.”

He was quiet for a moment. “If it helps, my first boyfriend sucked too,” he said.

She blinked. “You’re...”

“Bi,” he said. “My first boyfriend--not my first relationship--he had ideas about what a guy like me... was supposed to like.” He laughed. “I guess most people probably do? But he got upset when I wanted to, uh...”

He gestured vaguely. She laughed. “Bottom,” she said. “I’m a big girl, you know. All grown up. I know things.”

He chuckled. “Anyways, he ditched me to go and get a ‘real man’.”

“Kind of hypocritical,” she said.

He shrugged and rubbed his neck. “The heart wants what it wants?” he laughed. “Anyways, it... I know it’s not the same at all, just...”

“It’s control,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said. “You didn’t deserve it.”

“Neither did you,” she said. “Nobody does.”

The sun had risen fully, and the colour of day had taken the sky. Only the barest hint of pink still dragged its feet along the horizon.

“You wanna get lunch some time?” he asked.

She thought about it for a while. “Look,” she said. “I... know I said call me and all last night, but I don’t know if I’m ready for a ‘real’ relationship just yet...”

“It doesn’t have to be,” he said. “It could just be lunch. We could talk. Just... friends.”

“And if its something more?” she asked wryly.

“Then we talk about that, then,” he said. “But friends is fine too. I... don’t have many either.”

She stared at him for a while. He looked back patiently.

That’s what it was. patience. No matter what he was doing, he always looked patient.

“... Okay,” she said. “I think I’d like that. I’m busy today, but... Thursday?”

“Sure,” he said. “I have a furniture shop, on the same block as my uncle’s shop, you’ll know it when you see it. All wood stuff.”

“Lunch, and a new bedside table,” she laughed. “Sounds like a pretty good deal.” She hauled herself up off the hood, tearing her butt free where it had frozen. “I’ll see you then?”

“I’ll keep an eye open,” he said.

She nodded and turned to walk around the driver’s side, but remembered herself. She turned back and offered her hand. “Catriona, by the way,” she said. “Cait.”

He laughed, but he accepted the handshake just the same. “Theo,” he said.

#writing

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