#anyways today has been A Day on top of A Week honestly like

[jhuzen]

terms of service [m.reader]

what do you mean it’s been a whole week since i said i’d post this? pretty sure today is still tonight. anyway, this is based on this godly ask! this is… extra long. i’m sorry i got carried away 😭 it’s honestly going to be a lot longer if i didn’t cut out some scenarios. jadiksodc.

𖦹 nsfw, top reader, virgin haitham i literally have no idea what else to say.

“Have you ever even gotten laid?”

Alhaitham’s eyes stopped at the last sentence of another book he’s buried his nose into. The night was quiet — save for the sounds of the burning embers from the campfire as well as the snores of one tiny fairy that laid beside you. The nights are cold in the desert, but it sure was enough to keep him awake. He’s been searching for ways to solve the problem with the suspicious Grand Sage, and you were kind enough to help.

You were revered across all lands apparently — even reaching the isolated Inazuma before the vast Sumeru in the first place. And while Alhaitham has every confidence in his own knowledge and meticulously calculated strategies in solving problems, he wasn’t one to take away credit from you, who protected him and fended off any other Eremites that tried to cut off his plan.

He found you reserved, keeping to yourself while the tiny floating chatterbox spoke for you like she was your advisor. You did find yourself talking to him at times, but most of it was either your agreements in his plans, your little snide remarks when he did something that both you and your flying companion considered as remotely pretentious. And quite frankly, he did not want to expend any form of effort to defend himself. If that’s how he came across to you, then so be it.

However, even with the limited time that he’s known you, he never pegged you for someone this… sheer.

In fact, he never expected it so much that he even did his own version of a double take, looking up at you with eyes that brimmed with curiosity and slight surprise. And yet, there you were, casually polishing your sword so diligently, tongue sticking out in determination with your brows furrowed in concentration.

Like you never asked him such a… question.

The scribe had half a mind to ignore your sudden query — chalk it up into a auditory hallucination and continue on with his reading. But his mind knew better; that if he left it at that, he would be perturbed until the end of his days, and Alhaitham is a practical man, meaning he’d rather get the trouble you suddenly placed on him out of the way than go through such feelings.

“Pardon?”

“Hm?”

Alhaitham narrowed his eyes, were you now planning to pretend like you never asked the question in the first place? He cleared his throat, “You said something. And I think I misheard. Care to repeat?”

Your gaze met his before blinking, “Oh. I was just asking if you’ve even ever gotten laid in the first place,” you laughed while you turned back to your well-groomed sword, continuing to polish it with refined movements. “Sorry, it’s an out of the line question, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” he curtly replied, but even he could not extinguish the sudden curiosity that rose from him. “Though why even ask me that question seeing that you’re fully aware the invasive nature of it in the first place? What spurred this on?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing much, really. It’s just that you’re good looking but you seem to be the type to not… invest your time in those activities.” Alhaitham wonders where all that cutthroat honesty goes every time you go radio silent within the last few days, barely letting out a peep to talk to anyone while Paimon did the talking for you.

Alhaitham scoffed nonetheless. It was such a shallow reason for you to ask that. Surely pure aesthetics is not a prerequisite to have sex. “Is it a requirement to engage in such activities if I am pleasing to look at?”

Your lips turned up in a cheeky smile as you tore your eyes away from your blade, looking up at the stoic scribe with a mischievous mirth glinting through your eyes, “Well. You eat with your eyes too, right?”

A laugh escapes from your system when Alhaitham instantly made a face. He’s not stupid (far from it really, and the entire Akademiya knows) — he knows the preconceived notions to these play of words. He reeled back at the innuendo, partly taken aback. Just what on earth have you been thinking despite your persistent silence to come up with something as crude as that?

He composed himself, eyes averting from yours and looking back down to resume his reading; but his mind was far from the focus he always maintained when occupied with books.

Alhaitham chewed on his bottom lip discreetly before giving an answer he deemed relatively satisfactory, “…I have no interest for such things. And don’t things like these need to have prior connection in the first place? I’d rather not have attachments to someone. It’s far too bothersome.”

“Oh so that’s why,” you hummed, this time your attention fixated in refining your sword handle. “Well, it wouldn’t hurt to experience new things. And I can even help you. No strings attached.” You offered in a light jest, followed by a chuckle after.

It was a joke offer, of course. You of all people knew that when Alhaitham didn’t want something, he will steer clear from it. However, you only found him remotely interesting because he was so bloody shady in the first place. He was supposed to be an honorable scribe, being held at such a high position, and yet he was dubious enough to even make you buy forbidden cans of knowledges, and even with the partnership you’ve got going on now, you’d find yourself unable to sleep so freely without so much as expecting him to suddenly jump on you.

You simply found him interesting. And true to your love language (that your little traveling companion is often the recipient of), you couldn’t help but tease him, a little prying at something as intimate and private as his sex life (which you now knew to be nonexistent). Just a little jest to mess with him for your entertainment. That’s all.

However Alhaitham had much different perception to your lighthearted teasing. You… were offering him something so intimate as sex with no strings attached. While anyone with a right mind could quickly brush it off as a mere joke with no promises — Alhaitham was quick to entertain the thought of doing it with you without having to suffer the consequences of being in a relationship with someone.

No strings attached, huh. He pursed his lips, eyebrows knitting a little as he mulled over what seems to be an option (though there never was as it was only a joke from your end).

The thought enticed him. Of course, he was doing this for academic purposes and to satisfy the now insatiable curiosity that you placed upon him like an irreversible curse with one specific cure.

He stole a glance from where you sat as he recalled the many times you’ve managed to smooth talk your way into certain situations back in Port Ormos. Exuding confidence and sharp wit, along with a charming face that no one can say no to — also with your… beliefs earlier, Alhaitham was quick to deduce that you are a man whose had plenty of experience in sex. You were most definitely the kind to frolic around with anyone that suits your fancy, especially with how easily you offered to help him like it’s a simple favor from a colleague and nothing more.

The silence that engulfed your group (again, subtracting the snores from Paimon) soon broke when Alhaitham decided to go head in for the kill.

“Okay.”

“What?”

There was a sense of satisfaction that flooded his system when you looked up with a confused look on your pretty face.

Alhaitham cooly brushed off the flustering feeling that slowly nestled into the pits of his stomach, his stomach knotting in anticipation at the thought of taking you up on your generous little offer, “I agree to what you’re offering,” he refused to look at you, continuing to read the words that were barely coherent in his mind now, trying to look as composed as possible. “Just to satisfy certain questions from this sort of activity of course.”

You tilted your head at him, cocking an eyebrow, “Right… so you want to have sex?”

He coughed, “For research purposes.”

“If I had a mora for every time I heard that excuse, I wouldn’t worry about Paimon’s endless appetite by now,” you laughed. “But knowing you, you’re probably telling the truth.”

You were met with a silence from the scribe. Make no mistake however, he was stewing in absolute embarrassment — only glad that his headphones were able to cover up his ears that are sure to be burning up a bright red hue.

“…Are we doing it now?”

He sucked in a sharp breath, “Absolutely not. We have a mission, traveler. And doing such a thing outside… is sure to provide a less than stellar experience.”

You huffed out a laugh before stabbing your blade on the ground, “Man, you really are a virgin. And you have no idea how many freaks are out there that can do it outside even in the midst of a thunderstorm.” It was an exaggeration, but the look of mortification that was plastered on Alhaitham’s usually unfazed face was all the more entertaining. “Anyway, if you’re really serious, then who am I to back out? We’ll finish up this mission quick and then you can ring me up any time.”

Alhaitham could only give a strained nod before finally finding the words on his pocketbook a little more understandable as his mind cleared.

The last grueling days was nothing short of eventful, to say the least. You were somehow able to pull off in fighting an all too big of a god’s body with the vengeful puppet inside. You freed Nahida too, kicked Azar off of his position and destroyed the beloved Akasha that the people of Sumeru found themselves completely dependent on. It was like a blur, with you constantly on the run to ensure that every plan works in your favor, though you weren’t one to take away from Cyno and the rest — with their dutiful cooperation.

And now, you were hailed as a hero in Sumeru much like your past adventures in the last three nations, awarded as Buer’s first Sage added in the roster of your many, many titles. You were celebrated around and all you’ve ever wanted was to go inside your beloved teapot and sleep.

And that you did.

The next days were spent in leisure around Sumeru, getting along with anyone in the vicinity, often offered goods for gratitude. Paimon accepted every single food and you soon found yourself in need to build another display bedside table to decorate with trinkets you’ve received. It was relatively normal for you at least.

And the same could be said for Alhaitham. He can finally do his job with little to no inconvenience now that Azar and his corrupted lackeys aren’t around, banished off to the forests to do whatever is needed to compensate for their misgivings. The boring but doable work on a high pay returned and Alhaitham was at peace.

Up until Lesser Lord Kusanali came to his office, and with the tiny pitter patter of her feet against the cold floors of Akademiya, she walked to his desk with an expectant smile plastered on her adorable face.

Suddenly, Alhaitham was the Acting Grand Sage.

Great. More work for a considerably smaller increase in pay. How… productive and worth it.

And perhaps, that’s how you landed yourself in the confines of Alhaitham’s home in the dead of the night — at his request. His roommate was off and a few days prior after suddenly getting dragged into assisting him in catching another unhinged research with far too much talent yet little intent in seeing the bigger picture, he had asked you to come meet him at night. And he made it very clear to you that you come alone.

You were already aware of the Acting Grand Sage’s insinuation at this point. You’ve been through enough worlds and mingled with enough people to know the universal sign that is “come here alone tonight”.

Well, either you get laid, or… you will be laid in a coffin the next day.

Now here you sat, smiling a little as you sipped some water, watching Alhaitham dry off the droplets of water from his hair after a late night shower. You opted to look over some files strewn across the table to entertain yourself, trying to make sense of any of his work. Judging from the complicated nature of said paperwork, you figured he was already raring for some release. Or at the very least, a change of pace in learning something new other than the onslaught of mad researchers from Akademiya causing trouble for him to fix.

“I have some terms,” Alhaitham suddenly voiced out, pulling you out of your trance as you looked at him inquisitively. You nodded, letting him go on. “Nobody gets to hear a word of what will transpire tonight.”

“…I don’t think I even want anyone to know in the first place.”

He nodded before walking back to some shelves, “Also,” he grabbed a book and tossed it on the table, perfectly sliding towards you with the cover face up. “I’ve done some reading just to know what to expect.”

You huffed out a breath, disguising a genuinely amused laughter. Couldn’t your one night stand get any cuter? He wasn’t even trying too. He was so earnest and so serious, it was hard not to devour him right then and there. You placed your glass of water down the table sauntering up to him, grabbing the lecherous book that he apparently used to come into the battle prepared.

Alhaitham’s eyes widened as you wasted no time in closing the gap. His ears effectively reddening in a split second when he could feel your crotch rub up against his from the sheer proximity that you and the scribe had. There was even barely any room to breathe in the first place. His lips quivered a little as he looked to the side, avoiding your piercing gaze.

You tapped the corner of the book’s spine on his lips, while yours turned up in a sly grin, “Cast aside any expectation that this book have taught you, smart guy. I believe there is merit in learning from experience.” You tossed the book back as your lips latched onto the skin of his neck. You took a deep breath, inhaling the pleasant scent of his body wash. You could feel and hear him shiver from just that action alone, spurring you on to be bolder.

Of course Alhaitham knows that experience is a far better teacher than anything else. But how could he learn anything when the experience itself is detrimental to his sanity as he tried to comprehend your ministrations, from the way your hands were quick to attach themselves onto his narrow waist, your lips slowly mapping and conquering every inch of the skin of his neck, abused with bites that left bruises darker than the decorative rugs in his home.

You pulled away and he was left completely red, you leaned back to admire the work you’ve done on his neck and his collarbone, adorned with splotches of red from the abuse of your mouth.

But before Alhaitham could even recover, you went back in, but this time with your lips on his, “Try to keep up, smart guy. Here’s a crash course on how to kiss someone.”

Alhaitham could barely breathe, but even in the sweet suffocation, he tried to keep up with your lips. You made a mess out of him, your mischievous tongue dragging from the inside of his mouth to his lips to wet them. His jaw hurt and he was out of sorts, with drool dripping down to his chin while you sucked on his tongue, your hands under around his chin to keep him in place. He could only grab onto your shoulders, fingers squeezing against your flesh so tight while he closed his eyes shut, his chest heaving from the breathlessness when you refused to let up on him.

It was already dizzying — he knew you were aggressive on the battlefield, but had he known that you would be like this too, a little warning would’ve been nice.

And before he knew it, still with your lips latched onto his, he started to respond to your advances. Miraculously even with his clouded mind with that lusty haze, he was able to learn from your little techniques, kissing back with need and urgency, and you gladly welcomed him, letting him bite your lip as a test, return the favor as he sloppily sucked your tongue off with the charm of an inexperienced kisser.

It was a mess as you and him stumbled over to the his bedroom, with poor Alhaitham barely noticing until his back landed on the soft mattress of his bed. His eyes were glossed over, clearly in a daze as you pulled away, chuckling at the sight of the infamous stoic scribe who normally looks so put together come undone and become a complete mess with just a simple make out session.

You swiped a thumb over his wet lips, dragging it across his cheek and watched in delight when he slowly gained a bit of clarity.

“We haven’t even gotten to the best part yet, ‘Haitham.”

Alhaitham only scoffed, “You kiss so aggressively. A warning would’ve sufficed.”

“Aw c’mon. It’s just a little warmup,” you tugged into the hem of his shirt and he quickly got the hint, helping you take them off. You only watched in fascination as his body came into view. That tight shirt that he always wore doesn’t do his body justice. He was sculpted so perfectly that even you had to pause for a second to take in his beauty.

The scribe wasn’t fond of your ogling however, “…What?”

“Nothing… it’s just…” you couldn’t even resist the way your hands immediately gravitated towards his chest, palms flat against his pecs before steadily moving them to yours, comparing your sizes. “…Wow. You’re bigger than I am.”

“Do I get a trophy for that then?” Alhaitham quipped without missing a beat.

Unfortunately for him, you were quick-witted, cruel, and knew how to show someone a good time. And you gladly indulged his little jest as you bent down, cupping a hand around one chest, thumbing at his hardening nipple while you gave soft kitten licks on his other swollen bud. An electric feeling jolts through Alhaitham’s system and he could feel himself twitch against the restricting fabric of his pants.

You smirked against his skin, teeth grazing his sensitive nipple, making him jolt and grab onto the back of your head. You raised yourself, watching unabashed while Alhaitham tried to cover up his reddening face. Either this situation was embarrassing enough on it’s own or perhaps he was embarrassed that he liked what you did.

“D-Don’t… look at me like that,” came Alhaitham’s weak protest, voice shaking as he tried to avert his gaze.

“Getting all shy now?” You tilted your head, looking at him with so much amusement. You did not have an ounce of regret for offering jokingly in the first place. To see the hardheaded scribe fold like a shy maiden was something you never knew you needed. “Come now, Alhaitham, it’s not something to be ashamed about. Focus up, buddy. You said this is for research.”

“Quit… i— ah~! Quit it—!” He moaned in between hisses as you shifted your position, with one knee pressing up against his erection with much pressure. It was as if the soft spoken yet courageous hero revered across the lands suddenly disappeared — replaced by this mischievous teasing deviant that toyed with him so shamelessly.

“You make it so easy to tease you,” your hands slowly dragged themselves to the waistband of his pants, tugging at the band and snapping it against his skin. “Is this why our scribe— oh, sorry, our Grand Sage has to keep that no nonsense facade? So they won’t know that you’re just an adorable little boy?”

He clutched onto your wrists that threatened to free his cock from its constraint, “It’s Acting Grand Sage… and it’s not a facade— are you always this chatty when having sex with someone?”

“I’m just trying to get to know you,” you flashed him a grin and his grip on you slowly loosened, a wordless green light to finally see all of him. You obliged his little permission, tugging down his pants and stripping them off of him with little effort. Alhaitham made a subconscious effort of trying to shield himself from your prying eyes — never had he felt this vulnerable before, he could feel his entire body heat up just from the way you looked at him.

Meanwhile you were admiring every groove and curve that sculpted itself into this man’s body. You would most definitely be the envy of the entire Sumeru City had they known that you were the first man to have ever seen Alhaitham this way. Suddenly, the Acting Grand Sage’s term of not wanting anyone else to know about this engagement seemed so tempting to break.

You positioned yourself in between his legs, keeping them apart when Alhaitham so much as tried to close his legs on instinct, you cupped a hand around the base of his cock and relished in the tiny little yelp that left Alhaitham’s mouth, his back arching up in surprise.

“Already so hard, you truly are enjoying this,” you taunt, as if you weren’t feeling the same uncomfortable feeling in your tightening pants. With one hand, you dug into the pocket of your trousers, bringing out a packet of slime condensate and tearing it open, squeezing a handful on your fingers. “I think you know what this is for.”

Alhaitham only nodded, suddenly meek as the insinuation made its presence known. He read a lot for the sake of satiating the gnawing anticipation within him the moment he agreed with your little offer. Alhaitham, after all, never did nurture the bad habit of coming into a situation completely clueless and in the dark. But there was something far more dizzying at the feeling of your touches that could make him feverish, overtaking his senses like a fever dream that he could feel the whole way.

He shivered as your fingers pressed against his rim, drenched in cold lubrication. He lifted his hips out of instinct, his body slowly being compliant to your actions, readily following your bold lead. You took note of his actions, watching the way his chest heaved up in a frantic pace, clearly overwhelmed in anticipation.

“Try to relax,” you ought to soothe his anxieties. Sex isn’t something to be afraid of, after all. It’s meant to be enjoyed by the parties involved. He only nodded, a little strained but it was enough.

An uncharacteristic wail leaves Alhaitham’s mouth as you plunged two fingers inside him. He was warm, his walls already clenching around your digits that were barely even halfway inside. He shifted, hips wriggling at the discomfort. You distracted him from the sensation and slowly worked your other hand around his erection, pumping at a gentle pace.

Alhaitham felt breathless, the haze in his mind continuing to muddle any form of coherent thought that he tried to make. He whimpered quietly as the embarrassment slowly flooded in. He could barely gather himself as you’re jerking him off while fucking him with your fingers, any sense of awareness leaving him bit by bit, replaced with the unencumbered lust that you were holding over him with your ministrations.

“Feels good?” Your words barely registered in his usually sharp mind. He nodded frantically, hands clutching the sheets underneath him. It felt all too good, with your precise hands, from the way you prod around his gummy walls to how you teasingly thumb at the slit of his cockhead, it was an overwhelming pleasure that Alhaitham was suddenly being exposed to.

You weren’t any better. Who knew Alhaitham could look so erotic, his body almost close into going in an autopilot as he responded to your touch with little to no shame. The whimpers and cries that echoed in the room were music to your ears, a blessing to indulge yourself in.

It was hard to hold yourself back from just fucking him into oblivion, and your sentiments wee shared as another cry left Alhaitham.

“M-More~” he whined, completely insatiable as he yearned for something bigger. Your fingers weren’t enough. He needs to feel full, something that could stretch him out until he could barely think. He opened his eyes, bleary with lust and carnal need in comparison to yours that were gleaming with concentration and hunger. “M-More please~” he parroted, unable to find any more words to beg you.

You could feel any form of restraint leaving you as his pleading reached you, already shooting straight down to your dick that twitched in anticipation and raw excitement. You immediately pulled your fingers away, shivering at the moan that you drew out of the man underneath you. Your hands quickly worked to free your own cock, hard and throbbing as it slapped against your stomach. There was a sense of satisfaction that washed over you at the way Alhaitham’s eyes grew wide when he saw you, like a cold water drenching him and pulling him back down to reality.

“Is… that even going to fit?” Alhaitham’s sudden reluctance was all the more endearing, making you laugh.

“I prepared you, didn’t I? But hey, the confidence solely lies on you. If you think you can’t handle it, best we quit ahead.”

He swallowed a lump down his throat before looking at you with a much more determined gaze, “I— N-No… I need to see it through.”

“You can hold my hand if you want,” you offered, lending out your own hand. Normally, Alhaitham would swat it away but did otherwise as he held yours, feeling feverish all of a sudden at the intimacy.

He could feel himself shrink as you positioned yourself in between his legs, towering over him with a reassuring smile. His thighs quivered around you while you lined yourself up in his entrance. He shuddered as your cockhead slowly rubbed up against his entrance, making him writhe in anticipation. Alhaitham met your gaze, suddenly considerate in contrast to your teasing self earlier.

“Don’t think too much of it,” you reassured him one last time. “Just ride out everything that you’re feeling.” You said and he nodded, soaking up every word of yours as he took a deep breath.

Alhaitham jolts at the sudden intrusive feeling once you ease yourself inside him inch by inch. He was quick to clench around your cock and you stopped, heaving a shaky sigh as the feeling of his warm walls around you bring you complete and utter bliss.

“Fuck… so tight, ‘Haitham,” you breathed out, a pleased hiss from your lips with every pulsating clench his walls made around your cock.

The scribe could barely process the feeling as he slowly took you in, his hole squeezing your length while you continued to push inside until you’re buried to the hilt. His hand squeezed around yours tightly as he tried to take in your words earlier and ride out any form of sensation that racked through his body. He could already feel the numbing pleasure rake in his system as the overwhelming sensation continued to eat away at his sensibilities.

You stilled yourself as you watched every expression Alhaitham’s pretty face contorted into. You only swept away his fringe away from his forehead that’s already dotted with beads of sweat and continued to observe him. You’ve never been this considerate when it comes to fucking someone, but given the fact that Alhaitham was just far too adorable, you made a conscious effort to be more gentle in his first time.

It didn’t take long before Alhaitham slowly rolled his hips, in terrible need for some more friction, “Y-You can move…” he stammered, still with his hand clutching onto yours so tightly.

You grinned a little before drawing your hips back and giving a testing thrust, pushing out a choked moan from the scribe, to which you greedily indulged in. Leaning in, you only gave a quick kiss on the shell of his ear before whispering;

“Don’t fall in love now.”

Alhaitham merely scoffed at your little taunt.

As if he would.

Miscalculations are rare in Alhaitham’s lifetime. Often times he’s mapped out every single action to consider to ensure a smooth sailing plan that he has to execute. Failure was a rare occurrence in the scribe— sorry, the Acting Grand Sage’s roster. He has yet to achieve a failure so spectacular that it puts his roommate to shame.

However, the way his eyes lingered on your form while you went about your day while you extended your stay in Sumeru was quick to tell him that the very idea of a miscalculation may not be so far-fetched in the first place.

And he absolutely loathed it.

It had been days since his… little research that you aided him in. Days since he felt the wonderful bliss of the mind numbing pleasure that only left his mind completely broken and incoherent. Days since he could feel the way your hands roamed around with such preciseness that every touch you left on him left him completely breathless. It had been days.

So then why? Why does he feel the same exhilaration whenever you were in the vicinity?

Why could he not push the thoughts of that night in the back of his mind? It was a skill he mastered that procured his unbothered persona. But the memories persisted like a parasite, latching onto his poor mind as it replayed the same night over and over again;

“H-Hah~! T-Too much already—!” Poor Alhaitham slurred, words barely able to convey while he held onto your hand for dear life, his eyes rolling at the back of his head while you pounded into him without an ounce of mercy. The bed creaked so violently under your movements, and his body shook in overstimulation.

“Just a little more, baby boy, one more, yeah?” You licked your lips hungrily, a predatory gaze flashing through your eyes as you devoured your prey.

Alhaitham winced as he slowly arched his back, suddenly feeling restless in his usual seat outside of Puspa café. Of all places, why couldn’t you have decided to chat with the nearby vendors. Where he can hear you and bury his mind into a delusion of bliss after hearing those sinful sounds from you when you bedded him that night. It was torture.

It was like a siren’s call, beckoning for him to give into his temptation. Except it was an excruciating thing to experience, drowning in that voice of yours that he could no longer hear normally.

“Oh! Isn’t that Alhaitham there?” He had to hide another grimace as the familiar shrill voice of your traveling companion echoed.

“So it is, let’s go say hi,” you smiled while you walked over to him, inviting yourself in without an ounce of embarrassment, like you didn’t make a mess out of him that particular night. “Been awhile.”

He could only stiffly nod before turning back to his book, “Mhm.”

“Yeesh! You’re just as cold as always! Hmph! Well, whatever. Paimon is going to get some food for herself.”

And just like that, there was silence in both of your company.

“Hey, you look really tense,” you frowned in concern and Alhaitham only continued to read into his book with an absent concentration that only served him to read the first lines of the paragraph over and over again. “I didn’t scare you now, did I?”

Alhaitham shuddered as the feeling of your touch slowly took over when your hands grazed by his shoulder in an attempt to console him. And the hauntingly addicting touches of yours continued to resurface in his mind.

A wanton squeal escapes Alhaitham as your fingers dug deep into the skin of his waist. He had little to no escape with the way you held him, hands completely sinking into his supple flesh to keep him in place. There was a rush of excitement that flooded Alhaitham’s system when you took hold of him in such a manner — possessive and almost desperate.

His already spent dick twitched at the notion, the very idea of you being all over him and wanting no one else but him. He wanted you to feel the same feeling that slowly poisoned his thoughts — that you would enjoy him just as much as he was enjoying you being so deep inside him.

He panted, short huffs leaving his wet lips that you vigorously licked, kissed, and bit until the both of you could taste his blood. He was a mess, from the marks on his collar down to the way even your fingertips made their bruising mark when you manhandled him.

Suddenly those touches burned through his skin, like you left them there just seconds ago. He was slowly feeling feverish. He could still remember which parts of him you touched, the way the uncomfortable feeling of your grip pressing against his soft skin was enough to get him on a state of frenzy.

You were far too intoxicating.

And without even an ounce of warning, he was suddenly met with your skeptic expression, clear as a day as you drew yourself nearer to his side, with your face a mere inch away from his. He could feel your even breathing, and could see those heavenly eyes of yours that peered through your thick lashes as you continued to put him on the spot with your own form of scrutiny.

“Tell me the truth, I didn’t scare you away from what happened nights ago, did I?”

He resisted the urge to swallow thickly — you may not be as smart as he is, but you were perceptive, already proven by the mere fact that you were quick to guess that his strange actions towards you did indeed stem from that amorous engagement you and him explored. Unable to focus on your minuscule concern, his gaze drifted down to your lips that formed into a frown, with your bottom lip jutting out a little in a very subtle pout.

Those lips. That mouth that often spoke of every proclamation and promise to aid whoever was in need of help, no matter how annoyingly minuscule the requests are.

His ears burned under his noise-cancelling headphones, finding himself completely unable to shut out the loud thrumming of his heart against his chest.

Who would’ve thought that mouth of yours were just as capable of delving into something incredibly lewd — that mouth that spoke valor suddenly speaking in the most flustering taunts that drove him over the edge.

Sobs spilled out from Alhaitham’s quivering lips, tears already flooding his ducts while you rutted into him like a dog in heat. The desperation in your thrusts were pushing up against his nearing release as your cock continued to abuse his prostate.

The overwhelming pleasure didn’t help as you busied yourself on his chest. You couldn’t leave it alone, your mouth already latching onto one of his sensitive and perky buds. Your tongue swirled against his swollen nipple and tore out another loud moan from the scribe. He was helpless against your ministrations. He could feel his stomach stir despite the fact that he was so sure he couldn’t cum anymore.

His hand shakily raked through the back of your head, biting his lip to keep himself composed.

You swiped your tongue against his nipple, looking up at him with a devious smirk, “Are you sure nothing’s coming out of these?”

“‘M… not a woman—” he protests in a weak voice, raspy from all the screams you drew out of him from coaxing orgasm after orgasm from him. “S-Stop saying that…”

“Getting embarrassed again?” You grinned, drawing your hips before snapping back into him, making him whine from the raw pleasure. “Aren’t you just the cutest~”

He isn’t. He’s far from such a description. Alhaitham knows that well. He was the intimidating figure of Akademiya, with his unbothered stoicism that could leave anyone scampering without the intention of screwing him over in the first place. But he hates how you’ve rendered him completely useless with just your words and subtle touches that quickly disarmed his guard that he put up several times already.

He loathes the mere fact that he couldn’t get you out of his head. Surely not all people that go through one night stands invoke such feelings of warm fondness towards someone they aren’t meant to be attached to. He’s not supposed to feel flustered just at the mere sight of you. He’s not supposed to feel vulnerable with your smiles. And he’s not supposed to feel the tempting submission with every touch you left on his body.

Alhaitham was quick to push your face away before running a hand through his own with a begrudging sigh, “…I am currently undergoing through a crisis. Please let me acquire some space for a good few minutes.”

He hates your dichotomy — from your ridiculously odious attitude when you fucked him, to your sudden gentleness when you were done and even the subsequent days after that.

You nodded in understanding (something he’d grown to fondly hate as well) with a patient smile, “Of course. How ‘bout I go get us some baklava? My treat.”

Your offer was oddly reminiscent of your aftercare too.

“Hope you can forgive the roughness. It’s your first time too,” he paid no heed to your apology. In fact, you’ve nothing to apologize for when you’ve granted him such a good fuck for his first time. He only relished in the feeling of your ghostly kisses against the bruises you made on him. “I’ll go get you some water. Need anything else?”

He was already dozing off by then.

He waved you off, more than eager to get you out of the way as the realizations slowly linked themselves in his constantly running mind.

Alhaitham dragged a hand over his face, repressing the urge to groan when he remembered your little taunt before this all happened.

“Don’t fall in love now.”

And damn it did he fall hard.

#i am an idiot #but a simp #anyway #i am very late #but heeeeyyyy better late than never 😭 #genshin impact x male reader #alhaitham x male reader #sub genshin impact #sub alhaitham #jhuzen’s stupid one shots #jhuzen’s shameless filth #there’s an hsr post i’m posting minutes after this #tall 2d husbands go brrrr in my gay little head

[slasherscream]

I don't normally like make requests from people if it's obvious I'm sorry for my awkwardness.

Anyway you were saying how you were really into Jordan li recently so am I and I've read every single fanfiction or every rant there is about them and I crave more. I have been in a angst/fluff mood and I haven't seen anyone do this idea either. I was thinking thinking maybe Jordan and reader gets into an argument (not really picky about what) and the argument gets really heated (you know how jordan shifts into their male form to Intimidate or get their point across) Jordan shifts into their male form which scares reader (I'm thinking reader doesn't have a good past with angry men) and reader backs away from them in fear Jordan notices and tries to comfort them but reader flinched when Jordan touches them. Reader then asks them to leave so they do but Jordan spends like a week trying to make the situation better.

(I would also like to put reader isn't scared of Jordan more so the action of the blatant Intimidation tactic they tried to use against reader. Reader is angry that jordan would try to scare them even if it wasn't on purpose it still hurt)

Jordan sorta just spends a week following reader around Like a lost puppy trying to treat reader like a absolute queen even if reader won't really acknowledge them until Jordan has an breakdown while drunk coming to readers dorm begging for forgiveness.

Again if its obvious I don't know how to make requests I'm sorry this has just been on my mind for so long.

A/N: this request is absolutely perfect, and exactly to my tastes. thank you for sending it, doll!

WORD COUNT: 4k+ under cut | hurt/comfort and angst/fluff

It’s hard sometimes, knowing when to push and when to just let Jordan be. Not at all a skill you learned over night. You’d gotten good at the push and pull of bringing them out of their shell back when the two of you had just been friends. Better at it than anyone else, at least. It was a slow process, but every second was worth it.

Now on the good days you don’t have to push at all. A hand on their arm. A coaxing smile or two. Any act of connection, no matter how small, enough to make them tell you what’s on their mind. Even if they scowl the entire time they let it out. It’s the letting it out at all that counts. Progress!

Today you miscalculated. It’s been a bad week. Jordan hadn’t dropped in the rankings, but their points took a small dip. They hadn’t been very active on their socials, busy doing work as Brink’s TA. But the point gap between where Jordan sits at #2 in the rankings, and where Andre sits at #3 is still a wide open chasm. 

It’d take something truly disastrous to knock Jordan from the spot they’ve held for three years now. But the rankings are more important than anything to Jordan. No matter how gently you try to bring logic into the situation, Jordan gets irritated quickly, accusing you of not taking it seriously. You often wonder how that could be, considering you’re in the top eight yourself, but you bite your tongue and don’t bring it up.

The group had tried to go out for lunch. It was okay at first, everyone making an effort to ignore the storm cloud Jordan cast over the table as they picked at their food. Then Andre had made some type of stupid joke. Not even about the rankings, but enough to make Jordan snap at him. The situation escalated so quickly that Cate had threatened to take off her glove and make everyone shut up. You paid your portion of the bill and dragged Jordan out before anyone could start up again. 

And now you’re here, somehow also on the shit list for not being supportive enough. As if being supportive isn't everything you do. Day in and day out.

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side. You don’t honestly think it was an innocent comment, do you?” Jordan snaps, standing up from your couch to pace the length of your dorm room. 

“You know how Andre is. He gets sarcastic when he’s hungover, and he was packing a double whammy. He did coke and got drunk last night. He was just a little off. He wasn’t making a real dig at you.” You defend your friend, knowing Jordan will regret what she said at lunch once she’s calmed down. 

“Oh, so we’re all just supposed to tiptoe around his highness? If he was gonna be a dick during the entire thing he should have just skipped coming out with us.” Jordan’s eyes narrow in on your expression, the sudden pursing to your lips and looking away. “What?” She snaps.

You take a deep breath at the tone, “Well, Jordie, if you want me to be honest Andre wasn’t the only one who wasn’t on their best behavior today.” 

A beat of silence.

You look up and there goes Jordan rolling her shoulders back, eyebrows practically in her hairline and you sigh. You definitely should have brought up her attitude later. 

“You really are taking his side!” She scoffs in disbelief. 

“Nope. No, I am not, there are no sides. We’re all friends. Friends fight. I’m just trying to remind you that you actually are friends. You can’t just…” You trail off, uncertain. 

“I can’t just what?” She throws up her hands, volume raising. 

“You can’t act like this every time the rankings do something that isn’t spectacular for you. I know they mean a lot to you but you can’t take the numbers out on the people who care about you.”

“You just don’t get it-”

“But I do get it! We talk about it all the time. Your feelings are completely valid, the way you react to them isn’t. You’ve been giving Andre looks that could kill all week and he didn’t even do anything. If he was a little snappy at lunch, maybe he’s upset that his friend has been treating him like shit over something he barely cares about.” 

“Well if I’m so-” Jordan shifts, pitch of his voice deepening, on the verge of yelling, “-fucking awful why don’t you go run to Andre and cry about it together?” 

He only takes two steps towards the couch before you use your powers. It’s instinct, the way the forcefield bubbles up around you. 

Whatever Jordan was going to say next shrivels up and dies on his tongue. The only sounds in the room are the quiet hum your powers make when you use them, and the scared, panicked gasp you make from inside the forcefield you put up to protect yourself from him.

There’s a second where the two of you just stare at each other. Both in shock. 

“Baby-” Jordan tries taking another step forward, a small, barely there shuffle of his foot. His face falls when the forcefield gets a little louder, glows a little brighter. 

Jordan looks close to tears. It’s that expression that pulls you out of the animal state of fear you’d fallen into. You look away from them. Take a few heaving breaths. Do your best to not mix up faces of the past with your present and future.

Your forcefield flickers out slowly. A concentrated effort. 

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to- I would never ever-'' Jordan shifts again. She rushes too fast into your space to kneel on the ground in front of you, her hands reaching for yours, desperate and clumsy.

When you flinch away, moving so you’re perched on the armrest of the couch, still trying to calm yourself down, she’s left with her hands grasping at air. “Baby, look at me. Please? Look at me, I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry that I… I’m sorry. I would never hurt you. I fucking swear I wasn’t-”

“I know, Jordan.” You shake your head, trying to stay calm. “Could you please….leave? I… I can’t calm down right now. I’m trying. I know you didn’t mean to… to scare me, but I need you to go.” 

“Baby, wait, fuck. Fuck, wait! I’m sorry. Let’s just talk. I can’t leave you alone like this. I’m sorry.” She’s panicking now, throat feeling like it’s closing up. 

She doesn’t try to reach for you again, but her hands feel like they’re burning from the effort it takes to keep them away from you. It’s instinct to hold you, to make it better, to pull you closer. She’s always been the place you run to when you’re scared, the shield you step behind when you need to feel safe. She doesn’t know what to do when you don’t even want to be near her.

“We’ll talk later. I’ll… I’ll have Cate come over so I’m not alone. Just.. leave.” Your voice breaks on a sob, and you’re begging her to leave, and that’s what makes Jordan head to the door, legs shaking. She’s never made you cry before. 

She’s glued to her phone the rest of the day, waiting for you to call. You don’t. 

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

You’ve been best friends since you were freshman. You haven’t gone longer than two days without talking in all that time since. No matter how busy you are. No matter how shitty either of you feels. Jordan doesn’t know what to do with the hours of the day that you usually fill. 

She breaks on the second day when you show up to class and move to sit by Luke on the other side of the room instead of with her. You don’t even look at her as you walk by. 

Class doesn’t start for another five minutes. The teacher isn’t even here yet, and she’s always late. Jordan moves to get up, already feeling like she’s choking on all the words she needs to say to you to fix this, but is stopped by a firm grip around her wrist. She’s about to snap when she realizes it’s Cate, taking up your usual spot in the seat that isn’t up for grabs because it’s Your Seat. 

“Don’t make the situation worse. She just wants to go to class. Don’t hound her, Jordan.”

“Hound her?” Jordan’s voice raises, incredulous. “She’s my girlfriend. I need to talk to her.” 

“You need to apologize.” Cate bites. “Dick.” 

“That’s what I was trying to do before you stopped me.” Jordan speaks through gritted teeth.

“How about you try apologizing after she’s done all her classes? That way, when you inevitably upset her, she doesn’t hole herself up in her room all day crying. And feel bad about missing class on top of it. You know… the way she spent all of yesterday?” 

“She cried all day?” Jordan’s shoulders sag, voice getting smaller. 

Cate softens, patting Jordan’s hand.  “It’s not just about you, and you know that. Triggers like this really fuck with people. And she’s also pissed that she’s triggered in the first place. Let her cool off.”

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

He makes it a few hours before he’s trailing after you. 

He can tell by the tension in the line of your spine that you know he’s there. But you don’t outright tell him to get lost, so Jordan can’t stop himself from following you around. Even if you don’t want him there. 

He sits across from you as you study in the library. Makes puppy dog eyes at you the entire time. He can’t be bothered to unpack his bag. It’d be useless to pretend he’ll do anything besides watching you.  

Two hours in, he gets up and leaves, hating the way your shoulders relax as he turns to go. 

He comes back twenty minutes later with your favorite foods and drink from the best local coffee shop. You don’t reach for any of it. He’s always loved how stubborn you are, how you stick to your ideas. Your principles. How steadfastly you make up your mind. Right now he’s just a little terrified of that same stubbornness. Remembers when you’d only been friends, that first year of peeling one another open, feeling each other out. 

(“I’ll never do it, Jordan.” You’d whispered vehemently, drunk and mad and beautiful. 

“Do what?” 

“Be with anyone who tries to fucking cow me into submission. It’s fucked. I won’t do it. I’ve had enough of it.” 

You’d passed the bottle you’d just had pressed to your lips and Jordan had tried not to think too hard about it, even when he tasted the remnants of your sticky, sweet lip gloss beneath the vodka.) 

He doesn’t get up to leave again until you do. 

Jordan walks you to your dorm, but trails a few steps behind you. He tried walking directly beside you at first, but your hands brushed together and the look you gave him was cold enough to freeze blood. 

So-

-behind it is. 

Jordan doesn’t get the chance to say goodnight before you slam the door in his face as loudly as possible.

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

Jordan doesn’t push her luck by trying to walk you to your classes the next morning. She does wake up extra early to buy you the biggest bouquet of your favorite flowers she could find. She leaves them outside your door and goes to class, hoping you’ll at least acknowledge her, the next time you see her.

During your first shared class of the day you walk in holding the bouquet of flowers. Jordan perks up in her seat, holding her breath. You do finally look at her. You make direct eye contact as you throw the flowers into the trash can at the teacher’s desk.

Jordan does not break her pen in half when Andre whispers “yikes” under his breath.

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

Two more days and Jordan feels like he’s going insane. He knows you feel worse. One glance at the carefully nonchalant expression you’ve worn all week tells him that. Putting on a mask is nothing for you. That look is the first thing you learned how to do in the top ten. 

You’d never hidden the way you felt around him before. Not like this. His skin keeps buzzing with the urge to corner you. Jordan needs the two of you to talk about what happened. But he’s already walking the world’s thinnest line. 

And he knows he can’t force you, if you’re not ready. 

Another thing he knows: when you’re this upset you don’t clean. Simultaneously, when your room gets messy your depression gets worse. He skips one of your mutual classes of the day and lets himself into your dorm with the key you gave him during first year. 

Jordan looks around, wincing at the chaos. You never let it get this bad. Not even during your most soul crushing finals. He starts by throwing away the trash. The tissues you wiped your tears with. The takeout containers. Pages of your notebooks you ripped out, carelessly thrown around the room. You take awful notes in class when you’re distracted. He hates that he’s distracting you.

He wipes down every surface with your favorite scented cleaner. Dusts your books. Sweeps and mops. Changes your sheets and grabs the brightest, happiest color comforter you have stashed in your closet to put on the bed. As he adjusts the pillows he thinks about how often you spend the night at each other’s dorms. Jordan wonders if you’ve been struggling to sleep like he has. 

He hesitates, but goes to his room down the hall to grab his cologne. He spritzes it lightly over the bed and hopes you still find the way he smells comforting. 

Next is your laundry. He starts up a few loads, irons and puts away the clothes that were sitting in a wrinkled heap on your couch. You’ve always hated doing your laundry. 

He’s heading back to your room, a full laundry basket of clean clothes under each arm when you run into each other.

“Are those my clothes?” You ask, forgetting that you aren’t exactly speaking to him in your moment of confusion. 

“Yeah… I’m… I was cleaning my room. Doing some stuff. Figured I’d do a few of your loads too, while I’m already at it.” He shoots for casualness, knows he fails miserably.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You say, words stiff and uncomfortable. 

“I know I just…” Jordan shrugs, relieved to be standing within a few feet of you after days of silence, and feeling pathetic over how happy something so small makes him. “Why don’t you go get something to eat with Cate while I finish up here?” 

“Finish up what?” You ask.

“I still gotta put these away.” 

You sigh, wanting the conversation to end, “You don’t have to put my clothes away, Jordan. Or wash them. I’m quite capable of doing it myself.”

Jordan takes a step back when you make a reach for one of the baskets under his arms. “I know that! Just let me do it. Doing your laundry always pisses you off. I’ve got it.” 

A battle of wills ignited. You, staring him down. Jordan, trying not to squirm. He wants to try apologizing again but doesn’t know if he’ll only make it worse.

“Please, baby? Go somewhere nice with Cate. My treat.” He puts down a laundry basket (behind him, so you can’t take it) to grab his phone from his pocket, and does something you can’t see. 

When you hear the particular chime your banking app makes when you get a Zelle deposit you roll your eyes. You don’t bother checking your phone and seeing how much he sent. You know it’s too much. But if you say anything he’ll just say you and Cate have expensive tastes (which…true.)

“Maybe you can catch a movie too? I still gotta finish up with your bathroom.” 

“Jordan.” 

“Just,” Jordan shifts, putting down the other laundry basket and slowly reaching out to grab your hand with hers. She could almost cry when you let her touch you. “I know you’re fucking pissed at me. And I know you’re still too upset to talk about it. But…. fuck, please just let me take care of you. Please. I have to do something. I can’t just sit around, after I made you feel like this. It’s driving me nuts. I’m supposed to-” 

You stop her, putting a hand on her cheek and sighing, “Okay, Jordan. I’ll go hang out with Cate while you finish.” 

“Don’t ‘hang out’, go get dinner. You haven’t eaten all day.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know you.” She says, sullen and staring up at you, playing with your fingers while you’re still letting her touch you, the first time in days. 

“I’ll head to Cate’s.” 

“Nah, head to Luke’s. They’re studying together right now.” Jordan takes a risk, stepping into your space slowly, giving you the time to move away. She leans in and kisses your cheek, gentle. When you don’t move away she can’t help herself, kisses the edge of your lips too. 

You don’t kiss her back, but you give her hand a squeeze as you pull away. You stop halfway down the hall before you turn back to look at Jordan. “Call Cate and tell her she better not be fucking Luke by the time I get to his dorm.” 

Jordan laughs. Your face is a little more relaxed as you turn away this time.

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

On Friday the group goes out to the club. They chose one of your favorite haunts, hoping it would entice you enough to join. You still declined the invitation. Everyone knew you would. They still wanted to try. 

You claimed you had a lot of work to catch up on. 

“She hates me. She fucking hates me.” Jordan groans into his hands, already three drinks and two shots in. 

“Well, let’s not panic.” Luke says. 

“Or be dramatic.” Andre snorts, taking a shot of his own. “You two are obsessed with each other. Relax.” 

“Relax?!” Jordan tenses, “My girl won’t fucking talk to me. How am I supposed to relax?” 

“She talked to you yesterday.” Andre drawls. 

“That wasn’t anything. We usually-”

“-Spend every free second of the day together? We know.” Luke teases. When Jordan doesn’t even smile he winces and slides him another shot. 

“She’s not even that mad. She’s more upset than anything.” Cate says, cuddling into Luke’s side. 

Jordan’s eyes follow the movement and he swallows at the distinct lack of your own weight leaning into him. You always get touchy when you’re tipsy. Climbing on top of him, clinging to him like glue. It’s his favorite part of nights out together. That and the playful booing you guys get from the group. 

Andre cuts back in, “I’m serious, dude. Relax! You guys have been together for how long now-”

“Three years.”

“-yeah, exactly. Since the fucking building of the pyramids. You two will be fine. She knows you didn’t mean anything by it. One fight won’t kill you.” 

“This wasn’t a fight, though. I fucked up! You didn’t see the look on her face. When she used her powers… I mean, fuck! You know? She was scared of me.”

“You know that’s not true, Jordan.” Luke protests. 

Jordan runs his hands through his hair, ruining the carefully slicked back style.

“Let’s just get you another drink. Come on, dude.” Andre wraps an arm around Jordan, hauling him to his feet and pulling him towards the bar. 

⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊⬈⬊

You get woken up by the sound of knocking on your door. Loud knocking. You keep your eyes closed, hoping whoever it is will go away. You don’t even want to be awake. Let alone socializing. 

The knocking gets louder. Exhausted, you drag yourself out of bed. You glance at your phone on the bedside table as you get up. It’s three in the morning. Now you’re exhausted and pissed. 

You stomp over to the door, wrenching it open, prepared to cuss someone out. You deflate when you see who it is. “Oh, hey.”

Jordan is leaning heavily on the door frame, staring at you with watery, red eyes. She looks like the walking dead. “Baby. Fuck, did I wake you up? I thought you’d still be awake. You said you were pulling an all-nighter.”

“I was tired. Just wanted to sleep.” You shrug. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Still at the club, took an uber back. Too fucked up for anything else.” She mutters.

“That’s good, Jordan.” You say. 

“You haven’t called me Jordan since freshman year. What happened to Jordie?” She sighs. 

Your face softens. “Baby…”

“No, wait, just let me…” Jordan leans her forehead against the door-frame, closing her eyes tight. “I’m sorry. I fucked up big time. I’m sorry that when I get pissed I take it out on everyone around me. I’m sorry that I don’t fucking listen when you’re just trying to make me feel better. I’m sorry I yelled… I’m sorry I shift-”

“Whoa, hey.” You cut her off, shocked. “You shifting isn’t the problem, Jordan. Fuck, come inside, honey.” You say, taking her hand and pulling her inside. 

You sit the two of you on the couch, clicking on the light so you can see each other. You move so you’re facing each other, pulling her hands into your lap. “First off let’s set one thing straight. You shifting is never the problem, okay?” 

“You got so fucking scared.” Jordan looks away, hair falling into her face.

“Not of you.. Just the fucking… optics of it! I don’t ever want you to be something you’re not. And you’ve got the incredible gift of being able to be whatever you feel like being any time you want to.” You reach out and touch her cheek, guiding her to look at you, “I don’t want you to not do that. I wouldn’t ever want you not to do that, okay?”

“Okay.” She says. There’s a moment of silence, then Jordan shifts. He looks for any sign of fear or hesitation, holding his breath. When he doesn’t see any he relaxes. “But I scared you so bad you used your powers.” 

“Yeah, that did happen.” You nod, caressing his cheek with your thumb, “Maybe it’s just a little scary when someone bigger and stronger than me starts yelling like that. Also, invulnerable. Let’s not forget that. Food for thought.” 

He closes his eyes, “I’m an idiot.” 

“For yelling at me? Yeah, just a little. Don’t yell at me like that no matter what form you’re in. That's always scary. Couples talk. They don’t yell. Most of the time. We can’t be the couple that does that.”

“I’ll never yell like that again. Either form. I promise.” Jordan says, “Can I hold you? It’s been a fucking week. I’m losing my mind.” 

You laugh, climbing into his lap and Jordan sighs, wrapping his arms around you as tightly as he can. He tucks your head into his neck. “I missed you like fucking crazy.” 

“Missed you too.” You sigh, “Stay the night?” 

“You’re not leaving my sight for the next two months.” He laughs, pulling you closer.

“Only two months? That’s fucked up, I thought you missed me.” You tease. 

“Shut up.” He scoffs, kissing the side of your head. 

You snuggle closer, letting the tension of the week drift away.

“You yell at me like that again and your only hope is being invulnerable, actually. I’ll put you through a wall.” You kiss his shoulder cheerfully. 

“I’d do it before you got the chance.”

You burst into laughter and he pulls your head away from his shoulder so he can see you the way you’re supposed to look around him. Happy. Content. He can’t stop himself from kissing you. You can’t stop yourself from kissing back. 

#jordan li x reader #jordan li imagine #jordan li #gen v x reader #black!reader #first full jordan li fic! super fun to right nonny i am kissing you on the mouth this was INSPIRING #if you see any grammar or spelling errors no you don't lmao

[daisynik7]

Give You Blue

Chapter 4: Alone Together

Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)

Rating: Explicit (for mature content)

cw: switching POVs (reader is in 2nd person, Eren is in 3rd), angst, language, a bit of fluff

Word Count: ~5.7k

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Give You Blue Masterlist | ao3 | Give You Blue Taglist

Summary: You and Annie attend a dinner at the Mu Phi sorority house on campus. Reiner, on his way out of Delta Delta, ambushes you on the walk back to your dorm for a less than pleasant conversation. Later that week, RA Eren hosts a game-night for his fellow residents. But, with it being on a Friday right after midterms, he's disappointed when it flops. Fortunately, someone comes to his rescue. Author’s Notes: Hope you enjoy this one! Likes, comments, and/or reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated. Please let me know what you think, I thrive off of reading your comments! If you want to be tagged in any future chapters, please let me know! Divider created by @/mikeykuns.

“Eren, are you paying attention?” 

Armin waves his hands in front of his friend’s face, snapping Eren out of whatever reverie he’s stuck in. He shakes his head slightly, grinning. “Sorry, Armin. Sort of zoned out for a minute there.” They sit next to each other on Eren’s bed, watching a movie on his laptop. It’s Saturday night, and Eren actually agreed to be social today. 

Armin taps on the space bar, pausing the film. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep?”

The real answer is no, but with Armin, he’ll only worry if he knows the truth. “Plenty. All eight hours,” Eren lies. In reality, he’s getting four hours tops. He stays up late studying, then spends the rest of the night tossing and turning in bed, anxious about the future. 

Oblivious, Armin responds happily. “Good! Living by yourself is already paying off. Sometimes I wish I could have my own space. The frat house can get pretty noisy, especially with Connie as a roommate.” He chuckles, reaching towards the bag of chips between them.

“Connie’s a blast to be around, though. I’m sure you’re having fun.”

“Yeah, I am. You should really come by the house.”

“Maybe. When I have time.” In all honestly, he has no intention of stepping foot in that frat house. Not because he has a disdain for Greek life; but because it’ll only show him what he’s missing out on. He already feels that way whenever he catches up with Mikasa and Armin, both thoroughly enjoying their college experience still. 

Mikasa returns from the bathroom, hopping on the bed to squeeze next to Eren. “What did I miss?”

“We ended up pausing the movie anyways, so not much.” Armin passes the snacks to Mikasa, who throws a handful into her mouth. 

They continue the movie, Eren’s mind drifting into space again. He’s already thinking about the upcoming chemistry midterm next week, how he hasn’t fully memorized the amino acids and their structures yet. And how he has to schedule a date to meet with Hange Zoë, a senior doing research in the lab, to see if he can shadow her for a month. On top of that, he’s planning on hosting a small event at the dorms, something to help his residents let off some steam after exams. It’s all too much. He wants to sleep and pretend that none of these obligations exist. 

The credits roll on his computer screen. He blinks, fully unaware of what transpired during the movie. His friends hang around for a few more minutes before leaving to head to a party somewhere else on campus. Once again, he’s alone. 

He is not motivated to study tonight, already burnt out from the last couple of days. Instead, he practices his electric guitar, working on a particular riff of this song he likes, replaying it over and over through his headphones. He loses himself in the music for a while, the closest thing to an escape that he can reproduce inside his own bedroom. Fingers sore from picking and strumming, he decides to call it a night. Face washed and teeth brushed, he snuggles under the covers, glancing at his phone. 11:00 PM. Wild night, he thinks to himself, laughing. 

Suddenly, his brother’s name flashes across the screen. “Zeke?”

“Eren, hey. You’re not sleeping already, are you?”

“Nah. But I’m in bed.”

“On a Saturday night?”

“Yep.”

Zeke chuckles heartily. “Oh boy. I can already hear it in your voice. Welcome to the club, little brother. Your descent into med school hell is starting.”

“Yay, can’t wait,” Eren responds sarcastically. “Anyways, what’s up?”

“I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. Clearly not well.”

“I’ve been better.” He keeps his answer vague on purpose. With Zeke, he doesn’t go into too much detail with the emotions he’s experiencing. As much as he respects his older brother, the two of them don’t always see eye-to-eye. While Eren usually acts out of emotion, sometimes to a fault, Zeke is detached, unable to empathize with what his younger brother is struggling with.  

“Is dad still giving you a hard time? I heard he wasn’t happy with your last quiz grade.” 

Eren ignores the urge to ask how he knows about that, already aware that they talk about him behind his back. “I told him it was weighted, so technically I passed.” 

“Well, you know how the old man is. Technicalities don’t really matter to him.”

He rolls his eyes, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, almost regretting picking up this call. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying you should study harder.”

He’s fighting to keep his cool, his body tense with anger. Before he loses it, he mutters through gritted teeth, “Okay, thanks. I actually gotta go now, bye.”

“Eren, I’m just trying to help – ”

He doesn’t wait for Zeke to finish his sentence, already tapping on the red button to end the call. Now, with his mood ruined, he’s not sure if he can fall asleep. He wishes it was still daylight, specifically the golden hour when the sun sets. It would be the perfect time to head to his favorite spot: the beach that overlooks the shimmering expanse of blue ocean water separating Paradis and Marley. He discovered this area recently, on one of his drives that he takes to temporarily escape. It brings him peace, even if the moment is fleeting. 

Instead, he scrolls through his contacts, tapping on his mom’s name, holding the phone back up to his ear. When her familiar voice greets him on the other line, the tears start flowing and he spends the next half hour confiding in her. 

~~~

You and Reiner cuddle in bed, his nose nuzzled to the back of your neck, spooning you. Bertolt is home for the weekend, leaving the room to yourselves. 

“Coco, are you still awake?”

You hum, snuggling closer to him, on the verge of sleep. He swallows hard behind you, as if he’s nervous. “I think I want to live in the fraternity house next semester.”

This gets your attention. Surprised, you turn around to face him. “What?”

“It’ll help me bond with my brothers better.”

“But we were supposed to live together.” The two of your agreed quite early in the semester that you would live together in one of the on-campus apartments. This news comes to you as a shock, since he’s never mentioned wanting to live on Greek Row, until now. 

“I just want to try it out for a year, baby. When we’re juniors, we can find our own place off campus, so we can do whatever we want.” He pulls you closer, kissing your forehead. “Everything is going to work out, okay? You can wait a year, right?”

Of course you can wait; that’s what he asks you of, so you’ll do it. But you don’t want to. You had all these exciting ideas laid out in your head: cooking meals together, relaxing on the couch in each other’s arms, being alone without worrying about parents or roommates barging in on the two of you. Being together all the time. 

“Coco, say something.”

It’s easy to get upset. Make a fuss and yell at him for being selfish. Simultaneously, you feel guilty for thinking this way, like you’re the bad girlfriend for disagreeing with it. For wanting him all to yourself.

“Okay,” you finally respond. “I’ll ask Annie if she wants to live together again, I guess.” It’s a compromise for the sake of making him happy. Because more than anything, you want him to be happy. 

He smiles, kissing you on the lips. “You’re the best, you know that? I don’t know what I would do without you.”

You wake up, back in your own bed, Annie’s soft snores filling the quiet of the room. A quick glance at your phone shows you it’s only 4 AM in the morning. It’s been a few days since you dreamt about Reiner, a new record since the break-up. Still, whenever you do, it hurts as much as it did the first night. 

He never warned you about wanting to move into the fraternity house. It came out of nowhere, a total and complete blindside, much like when he broke up with you. He’s been this way for a while, making rash decisions and springing it on you without a mention of it beforehand. You always end up going along with it, forcing yourself to accept it without disagreement. You never could stand up for yourself, thinking it was less hassle to bend for him than to argue about it. When you’re with someone for so long, the easy road seems the obvious choice, compared to one that has bumps and cracks along the way. But just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it’s better; it doesn’t always lead you to the right destination. And maybe that’s why you are where you are now: lost. 

It’s been almost two weeks since you saw him on that rainy day. Two weeks since he sent you that text message, which remains unanswered. There’s been moments where you stared at the screen, fingers ghosting the keyboard, wanting to send him a reply. Somehow, you’ve resisted those temptations. In the end, it’ll only lead to more heartache. The memories haven’t kept you up at night as much as it did before. Thankfully, your sleep schedule is back to normal, except for nights like this. You’re doing better each day. Annie’s two words to you are on constant loop in your head: Baby steps. Any progress, no matter how little or big, is still progress. As long as you don’t go backwards into a downward spiral.

Later in the week, Annie extends an invitation to eat dinner at one of the sorority houses on campus, Mu Phi. Hitch, a close friend, is a sister who currently lives there. As you approach Greek Row with your roommate, you look at the Delta Delta house right next door, wondering if Reiner is there, working as their hasher tonight. Possibly flirting with Christa or other sisters that surely find him attractive. You let the insecurities fade as soon as you knock on the door to Mu Phi, soon greeted by Hitch and two other friendly sisters. They lead you into the dining room, chatting about various topics, subtlety sneaking in how great sorority life is, asking if you’ve ever been interested. After all, they are constantly in recruitment mode, which doesn’t bother you. It feels nice to be desired. 

During the meal, the conversations continue. Annie, being the secret gossip she is, mentions the neighbors. You briefly described to her your run-in with Reiner and Christa, so naturally, she’s been curious since. “What’s it like living next to them?”

Hitch replies, “It’s fine. Did you know that Mikasa’s a Delta Delta?”

“Really? She rushed? I guess they can’t be all bad,” Annie muses.

Hitch eyes her with an amused smirk on her face. “Why would you say that? Who’s in there that you don’t like?”

Before Annie can respond, you interrupt, not wanting to spread any unwarranted gossip. “She’s joking. By the way, who’s Mikasa?”

“She’s this girl that attends Annie’s kickboxing class.”

Annie adds, “She’s also our RA’s sister.”

“Eren?”

She nods, confirming. His appearance around the dorms has lessened, possibly because of the upcoming midterms. He is a pre-med major after all, so you’re certain he’s too busy studying to be out and about. You wished you could have seen his face when he received the bag full of Pocky you bought for him, as thanks for sharing his umbrella on that rainy day. “I didn’t know he has a sister.”

“She’s adopted, from what I heard,” Hitch comments. “But they’re super close. Her, Eren, and Armin.”

At that third name, you glance at Annie, a slight blush creeping on her cheeks. She had a class with Armin last semester, and they were paired up for a big project. From then on, your roommate has been smitten with him, but she’ll never admit it out loud. You also recognize the name as one of Reiner’s pledge brothers from the same fraternity, though you’ve never met him personally. Knowing he’s close to Eren already gives you the impression that he’s a nice guy. 

The dinner ends with a tour of the house, not including the exclusive sleeping porch on the top floor, where all the sisters are forced to slumber beside each other. Right outside the entrance, you, Hitch, and Annie talk for a little while longer until your roommate announces, “My shift at the library is starting, so I have to leave now. Thanks for dinner Hitch!”

The three of you say your goodbyes, Hitch waving farewell from the door, you and Annie parting ways in opposite directions. It’s a clear sky tonight, the moon glowing brightly in the vast darkness, littered with barely visible stars. You take your time walking, enjoying the pleasantly cool air, admiring the other houses along Greek Row. From behind, a familiar voice calls out to you. “Coco.”

Before you face him, you curse under your breath, aware of exactly who it is. You find Reiner several feet away from you, presumably from the Delta Delta house. His fraternity is in the opposite direction, so he must have spotted you from afar, maybe heard you talking outside. You stand in place, waiting for him to catch up to you, ambushed. 

“Hey,” he says, with a sheepish grin.

You nod stiffly, unsure what to do next. It’s too late to make a run for it. Impossible to turn back the clock and sprint your way across campus. You should have known better, especially when you already assumed he’d be working there tonight. It doesn’t matter now; you’re trapped. 

“Are you heading back to your dorm?” he asks, hands in his pockets. 

You nod once more, voice stuck in your throat, unable to speak. 

“I’ll walk with you.” It’s not a question or a suggestion. It’s final. He’s determined to do it. 

Reluctant, you let him, pivoting on your heel towards the direction of your dorm, remaining silent. He stays beside you, hands in his pocket, glancing at you hesitantly. “What were you doing at Mu Phi?”

So he did notice you first. Eyes focused on the ground, you answer, “Hitch invited us for dinner.”

“Christa also invited you, remember? To the Delta Delta house.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” You don’t mean to sound venomous; well, maybe you do. Why bother bringing that up?

“I’m just reminding you. She’s really nice, you know.”

You snap, annoyed and frustrated. “Yes, Reiner, I’m sure she is very nice. That’s why I think she’d understand why I refuse to go to that house for dinner.”

“Because of me?” 

“Of course it’s because of you!”

He sighs, scratching his arm excessively. Something he does when he’s anxious. “I don’t understand why you’ve been ignoring me. I thought we agreed to be friends. You won’t even respond to my texts. How am I supposed to know that you’re okay?”

“Okay? You want to know if I’m okay? Reiner, I haven’t been okay since the day you broke up with me.” 

“That’s why I’m trying to talk to you.”

You scoff, blood boiling. “You’re the last person I want to talk to. You’re the reason I’m not okay. You broke my heart.” It’s a cheap shot to blame him, but that’s what you do. Fire everything in your arsenal to defend yourself, to hurt him.

His expression turns sullen at your harsh words. “I couldn’t be your boyfriend anymore. It’s fucked up, I know. But I did what I thought was right. I didn’t want to string you along.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way? Why didn’t you talk to me about it? We tell each other everything. Why keep this away from me?” 

He chews on his lip, nervous. “I was scared, okay? Really scared to lose you. I thought if I started talking about it, you’d break up with me and hate me forever. I wasn’t ready for that.”  

You process this, not sure how you truly feel about it. On the one hand, you understand the fear of losing the most important person in your life. That’s what you two are to each other. Well, were. On the other hand, it isn’t fair that he makes decisions when he’s ready. What about you?

You arrive outside your dorm building, standing feet away from each other, your arms crossed over your chest, protecting your heart. When you don’t respond, he continues. “I care about you, Coco. You’re my best friend. You’re the most important person in my life.”

 “You say that now, but eventually, somebody else will come along. Then what?”

Quietly, he replies, “I don’t know.”

You have to stand up for yourself. Hit him with the bitter truth even if it makes him uncomfortable. You’ve gone far too long agreeing to what he wants, following his plan, sacrificing your sanity to protect him. You don’t owe him anything. He decided to dump you when he was ready. That gives you free reign to do the same. “I don’t want to be a placeholder for whenever the next person comes along. Do you understand how painful that is? To know I’m temporary? I can’t be the most important person in your life. Not like this. That’s why we can’t be friends.” 

He stares at you, dumbfounded that you won’t concede to him. Disappointed that he can’t get what he wants this time, after so many years of doing so. This is what it’s like to have control, to stick up for yourself. Maybe there is some good to come out of this breakup. 

After a while, Reiner speaks, voice trembling, eyes glistening. “You can’t do this to me, Coco. I still…I still love – ”

“Don’t say it. Do not fucking say it.” You cover your ears, as if that will prevent your brain from finishing the rest of that sentence in your head. 

“I mean it, though. No matter what happens between us. I want you in my life.”

“Why is everything about what you want? Have you ever considered what I want?” You begin to pace back and forth on the pavement, arms jittery, increasingly erratic. 

A little louder now, a tinge of arrogance in his tone, he says, “We’ve known each other our whole lives. Pretty sure I have a good idea about what you want.”

“Well, you don’t. It’s different now. You don’t know me just as much as I don’t know you.”

“How can you say this right now? You’re just going to throw us away?!”

“You did it first!” you yell at him, tears streaming down your cheeks.

He steps towards you, hands in a desperate prayer, begging. “I don’t want to lose you. Please, Coco. I need you. I need you.” It’s the magic words that he so expertly chants to you. The ones that tug at your heartstrings, make you weak in the knees. And for a second, you consider taking everything back. Reach out and hold him, forget about the pain you’ve suffered these past two months and agree to be friends. Because you’d do anything to see him happy again. For this to be a long nightmare and to wake up together, perfectly back to normal.

But you don’t. And only because the entrance to your building suddenly swings open, revealing Eren at the door, inspecting the scene with a concerned expression on his face. “Is everything okay out here?”

Reiner glares at him for the interruption. “Who are you?”

Eren steps towards you, glancing at you and Reiner. “I’m Eren, the RA for this building. Heard some yelling and thought I should check it out.” 

“Reiner is leaving now,” you murmur, avoiding Eren’s gaze, embarrassed. “I’m sorry for the commotion.” You turn to head inside, not bothering to wave goodbye to your ex, who stands there, watching you. Eren follows, sneaking glances at Reiner before swiping his ID at the door to let you both in.

“Coco,” he calls out. “Please.”

You ignore him, wiping your tears with the back of your shaky hands, listening to the door shut behind you. 

“Are you okay?” Eren asks, voice calm.

You face him, forcing a weak smile, eyes still wet. “Perfectly fine.” You turn to hurry into your room, overwhelmed and wanting to hide in the safety of your bed forever. 

Before you can, he grabs you gently by the hand, thumb brushing your knuckles. “If you ever need to talk or anything, my door is always open for you.”

You mutter a timid, “Thank you,” then rush down the hall and into your room, heart pounding against your chest. His comforting words replay in your head, trying to replace all that was said between you and Reiner.  

~~~

At the end of the week, Eren hosts a game night in the common room of the dorm building. He’s excited to bond with his residents with pizza from his favorite local Italian joint and some good old-fashioned Mario Kart. He lays the food out on the table and sets up his Nintendo console to the TV, the familiar opening sequence playing on the screen. Then, he patiently waits for his first guest. Fifteen minutes pass and still no one shows up. Where is everybody? 

At the thirty-minute mark, he lays down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. The pizzas are surely lukewarm now, and the same tune playing on the TV is starting to grate on his ears. He texts Mikasa and Armin, complaining about the complete lack of attendees. Immediately, he gets a call from his sister. When he picks up, she states, “Eren, nobody is there because it’s the Friday night after midterms.”

“So?”

“People are getting ready to party. That’s what I’m doing, that’s what Armin is doing. That’s what everyone is doing.” 

Someone in the background yells, “Tell him to come out with us!” It’s Sasha’s voice. 

He groans, realizing his mistake. “I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re not. Just come out with us. You deserve a break.”

He considers it for a few seconds, before he replies, “Thanks, but I’m gonna head to bed.”

Sasha boos him. “C’mon, Eren! Join us! It’ll be fun!”

“I’m tired, Sash. Next time.”

Believing she can’t be heard, she whispers to Mikasa, “He always says that.” Well, she’s not wrong. 

Eren bids farewell to his friends, wishing them fun tonight. He lays on the couch for a while longer, trying to not to be too devastated at this failure of an event. Finally standing up, he heads to the table to begin packing.

“Am I too late?”

He turns around, surprised by her voice. The resident from down the hall, Room 104. The girl he’s seen cry at least three times now, the most recent being earlier in the week, outside the dorms. A small confrontation with the guy who Eren assumes is her ex, the cause behind all the tears. He was hoping to run into her soon, to check if she’s doing alright. He’s delighted to find her standing in the doorway, a small smile on her face. 

“Hey,” he greets, waving at her. She steps towards him, inspecting the plethora of food on the table. He rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. “You’re the first person to show up, so we have plenty of food.”

She gives him a sympathetic look, opening the pizza box to grab a slice. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

He grins. “Hey, you’re here, aren’t you? That’s all that matters to me.”

As she settles in on the couch with her food, she explains, “I would have come earlier, but I was helping Annie get ready for a party.”

Eren takes the seat beside her, dropping a piece of pepperoni into his mouth. “I guess everyone really is going out tonight,” he muses, recalling what Mikasa told him earlier. 

“Well, not everyone,” she reminds him, smiling. His chest swells with warmth seeing this side of her. Eyes free of tears, cheeks rounded with happiness, relaxed in his presence. He secretly resents Reiner, or whatever that guy’s name is, for putting her through all the misery she’s had to suffer. 

They eat their pizza, chatting about arbitrary topics like favorite toppings, best local restaurants around the town, even a silly bet about who will beat who in a race. The upbeat melody of the Mario Kart intro still playing in the background is no longer annoying now that Eren has company. 

One box only halfway finished, they wipe their hands clean of pizza grease to start the game, picking their favorite characters. Eren always opts for Yoshi, because of course he’s got to get the green dinosaur. She selects Toad, going on about how adorable she finds him, doing a decent impersonation of his high-pitched, bouncy voice, causing Eren to bust out laughing. They race, moving their bodies along with their controllers, bumping elbows and shoulders with bright smiles on their faces. She nudges him in the ribs when he tosses a red shell at her, knocking her off the course to take first place. He taps her knee with his when he slips on a banana peel she strategically lays out for him. It’s competitive, but not serious, both of them gloating and teasing one another at their victories. After going through most of the courses, they play battle mode, teaming up together to destroy CPUs on the most difficult levels. 

After exhausting most of the game to their heart’s contents, Eren checks his phone, shocked that it’s already past 11 o’clock. He glances at her, checking if she’s ready to leave once they shut down the game. She remains beside him, her attention focused on the piano in the corner of the room. Pointing at it, she asks, “We have a piano in here?”, clearly never noticing it before.

He chuckles. “Yeah we do. Do you play?”

She shakes her head, standing up to approach it, sitting on one side of the bench. He follows her, taking his place next to her. It’s only now that he realizes how close they’ve been all night. His heart starts to beat faster for some reason. 

Finger at a key, she presses on it, filling the room with a very out-of-tune C-note. “Do you play?” she asks.

“Not much, just the basics really. I’m better at guitar.”

“Acoustic?”

“Electric,” he answers, resting his hand on the piano, hovering his fingers over a chord.

“Electric guitar is so cool. I’d love to hear you play sometime.” It’s an innocent suggestion. But for whatever reason, Eren is shy about the idea of her being inside his room, watching him play his guitar. And for a split second, he imagines what other activities they can do with each other, in the privacy of his bedroom. He catches himself, mentally waving away the potentially inappropriate thoughts. 

Desperate to change the subject, he suggests, “Want me to teach you something?”

She nods, eager to learn. He starts his thumb on a C-note. “This is a C-major scale. It starts here,” he presses down, wincing at how out of tune it is. “And then you follow through with the rest of your fingers. That’s a very basic scale, without complicating it too much.”

She does it easily, smiling at the keys in front of her. “Now can you teach me Moonlight Sonata?” she jokes. 

He laughs. “How about Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star instead?”

“Fine,” she says, fake pouting. She’s really cute.

By midnight, she’s perfected the lullaby, enough for the two of them to sing along to it. Even with the notes out of tune, it’s still pleasant to listen to. He then shows her how to play the easiest version of Heart & Soul, a fun duet they manage to practice together within the hour. She’s a quick learner, which he appreciates. After their performance, she looks at him, smiling. “You’re a really good teacher.” 

He brushes his fingers along the keys. “That was my dream job growing up. I always wanted to be a teacher.”

“A music teacher?”

“No, an elementary school science teacher,” he admits. “Thought it’d be so cool to blow their minds with little experiments or facts about the living things.” He stares distantly, a longing grin on his face, fantasizing an imaginary world where he’s pursuing a career he enjoys. 

“So, what made you want to become a doctor instead?” 

At this point, he’s speaking candidly, no longer worried about hiding the truth. He’s comfortable with her. “My dad. He’s a doctor, and it’s pretty much expected of me.”

“Are you enjoying it so far?”

“No, but at the end of the day, I’ll be helping people. And that’s what matters right?” 

There’s a small pause in the conversation as she pushes on one of the keys, the note ringing out in the temporary quiet. “Teachers help people too. More than what society gives them credit for. And besides, no one wants to go to a doctor who isn’t happy being a doctor, right?”

He faces her, processing her statement. “I guess I never thought about that.”

She continues, drumming her fingers lightly on the piano. “You shouldn’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to. If there’s anything I’ve learned these past few months, it’s that forcing yourself to be happy doesn’t actually make you happy. It’s silly to say that out loud, like it’s so obvious. But I’ve made a lot of excuses, pretending I was fine with decisions made on my behalf without my feelings being considered. It was always easier to go along with it, avoid confrontation or an argument. But at what cost? Sacrificing my own happiness? It isn’t worth it, especially when it’s your life that you’re living, nobody else’s.”

This is about her ex. There’s a strong urge to ask her about it, offer a lending ear to listen to what else is on her mind. But he doesn’t question it further. The words she speaks to him resonate. Although they’re both going through different struggles in their lives, she understands him better than he expects her to. Maybe more than anyone in his circle of friends right now. 

“I have a friend who’s an education major. Erwin Smith. His dad is also a teacher. I can give you his contact info if you want to talk to him?” she offers.

“I don’t know,” he responds hesitantly. He’s never considered changing his major. He can already picture the faces his father makes, disdainful and disappointment at his son “downgrading” his career. 

“It doesn’t hurt to have it, right? Just in case?” 

He thinks about it carefully before he eventually relents, whipping his phone out to type out the information she recites to him. She’s right; it doesn’t hurt to have it. It doesn’t mean anything. 

Phone still in his hand, he abruptly blurts out, “We should exchange numbers.” Almost instantly, he regrets it, aware at how inappropriate that would be. But when she grins at him, nodding, he’s immediately relieved. 

“I’m assuming this will be your personal number and not your RA emergency line?” she smirks.

Laughing, he confirms, “Yes, my personal number. I, um, enjoyed hanging out with you tonight. We should definitely do this again.” He passes her his phone as she does the same. 

“You’re teaching me Moonlight Sonata next, remember?” she jokes, tapping her number into his screen.

“Yeah, of course.”

She slips her phone back into her pocket. “Also, if you ever need someone to talk to or listen to you, I’m just down the hall.”

“Hey, that’s supposed to be my line,” he teases, nudging her elbow with his. 

“Well, you’ve helped me out way more than you know, so I want to do the same for you. Rely on me, okay? We’re friends now.”

Outside the room, students begin to stumble through the hall, back from their night of partying. Eren checks his phone, surprised to read 1:35 AM on the screen. “It’s already past 1. I’m sorry for keeping you up.”

“Don’t be. I wanted to be here with you. Thank you for hosting this.”

“Thank you for being the only person to show up.” 

They gaze at each other, smiling. He wants to stay like this a little while longer, but he knows it has to end. At least, for tonight. They’re friends now, and he’ll be able to enjoy that warm, vibrant smile more often, he hopes. 

“Anyways, we should probably sleep soon,” she suggests, glancing at the pizza boxes on the table. “I’ll help you clean up.”

“Thanks. Maybe we can hand some of these out. I bet someone out there has the munchies right now.”

She giggles. “Great idea, Mr. RA.”

They tidy up, clearing the room of trash and putting away the video game console back in Eren’s knapsack. She carries it with her while Eren balances the pizzas in his hands, offering a box to the passing residents that are not-so-discreetly drunk. By the time they make it to his room, he’s only got one left, deeming the event an overall success. Especially now that he’s made a friend from it. 

She sets the bag down on the floor, watching him unlock the door. “I guess this is goodnight,” she says, giving him a small wave as she begins to step backwards down the hall, facing him.

“Yeah. I guess it is. Sweet dreams, okay?”

“Sweet dreams, Eren,” she repeats, turning on her heel to walk to her room. 

~~~

You lay in bed, listening to Annie’s drunken snores beside you, mind focused on your new friend Eren. Snuggling closer to your pillow, you smile to yourself, happy for the first time in what feels like forever. It’s the most fun you’ve had this semester, and most importantly, it’s the longest you’ve gone without sulking about Reiner. 

It’s in this moment that you realize the baby steps you’ve taken so far don’t seem so small anymore. Things are finally starting to look up. 

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#eren jaeger #reiner braun #eren x you #eren x y/n #eren x reader #eren x f!reader #reiner x you #reiner x y/n #reiner x reader #reiner x f!reader #aot fanfiction #aot fanfic #aot x reader #give you blue #eren fluff #attack on titan fluff #give you blue series #eren smut #reiner smut #attack on titan smut

[mysticficti0n]

all my attention part 1

warnings- swearing, smoking, fights (mention of blood), gets a bit sad toward the end

words: 4.8k (im sorry)

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well. anyways enjoy its my first Kaultiz fic so maybe a little everywhere but please read and enjoy 🤍

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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

I sat backstage messing around with my mic waiting to do sound check, I love my job and I'm lucky to be doing this at 17 but I do miss laying in bed all morning and not having to worry about what I look like constantly "Y/n we need you now!" our stage directer called to me pulling me from my thoughts, I stood fixing my sweatpants around my hips and carried myself to stage were Gustav was sat taping away at his drums "okay just need to go through where you'll stand in schrei" I nodded waiting for the man to decide "go top left" I complied and made my way to the corner near to the blonde boy

"does my snare sound normal to you?" I herd Gustav ask then a loud hit on the skin of the drum, it was lower sounding then usual

"no.. maybe tighten it again" he nodded and began playing with the bolts at the side

"Y/n can you speak into your mic" he asked sitting on one of the plastic chairs in the pit

"hellllooooo" I spoke getting a laugh from the drummer

"perfect...okay your done can you send Georg out" I nodded walking back out wiping my eyes as I made my way into our backstage room, 'quickest sound check ever' I thought to myself

"Georg they need you" he huffed rolling his eyes and grabbing his bass

"its way to early for all this" I agreed "its half fucking six!" he grumbled leaving the room, my attention turned to the only other person in the room, Tom, he was slouched on the sofa with his dreads freely sat on his head, we near enough had the same outfit on except he was wearing no shirt, as usual

"how did it go?" he spoke looking up to me to which I shrugged "oh Bill wont be back till like 12 he has meetings and vocal shit to do"

"I thought, anyways how was yours?" I spoke referring to the soundcheck

"well my guitar wouldn't come through the speaker, then the mic cut and I tripped so, perfect" I laughed at his words "anyways wanna smoke?"

"yeah" I hummed seeing him stand and grab his cigarettes from my bag I brought with me, we pushed the exit doors open and walked into the warm morning air that was finally in Germany, it felt like it had been winter for ages but finally It was warming up "I don't know whether I feel like performing tonight" I sighed as he handed me a cigarette, I brought it to my lips and he lit it for me

"why not? you love it" he was right but today just felt like... not a good day to do anything "you'll be fine when we get out there, I know you will"

"I just.. I don't know" I hummed breathing white smoke from my lips

"is it because of Brian?" Tom spoke making my head snap to him

"Brian! no of course not, me and him were done weeks ago I don't fucking care about him" I defended

"because you know he's gonna be their tonight Y/n. look I'm not the one to usually say this but nobody else is saying it- you broke up only two weeks ago and you've ignored what your feeling"

"fuck Kaulitz you're going soft" he laughed taking a drag "and I don't have a 'feeling'"

"I don't give a shit.. wait no I give a shit about you, not him, but honestly are you okay?" he spoke placing an arm over my shoulder to which I sighed again resting my head on him

"i...no, but I don't wanna think of it uno, he made me believe he loved me and that he was the one but all I saw was him hitting it off with a stupid bimbo" Tom's grip tightened comforting me "am I that bad?" I asked laughing solemnly

"I mean.. I" Tom began with a sly smile

"fuck off" I laughed shoving the dreaded man

"hey! I'm joking" he rolled his eyes at my childishness

"but I am sexy as fuck, I have piercings, fuck I dye my hair and yet I'm not better than a skanky, badly blonde haired big lipped whore" Tom shook his head stamping out his cigarette to which I followed

"well tonight play like the git isn't there and if anything find a fan pull them up and kiss their god-damn lips" Tom was a bastard for revenge, when his last girlfriend broke up with him (many years ago) he slept with 5 girls and sent her a picture with the caption 'pussy4ever' I looked back to the boy as he began to speak again "or kiss me?" he smiled wriggling his eyebrows

"yeah sure I will Thomas" we both laughed, in fairness we always found ourselves subtly flirting with one another but never really meant it, the little jokes, touchiness, it was all good fun. We walked back inside and watched as Gustav came off stage swirling drum sticks around his fingers and Georg with a grumpy look across his face

"whats wrong with you sunshine?" Tom spoke holding the backstage room door open for me which I whispered a 'thank you' and sat onto the brown, cold, leather sofa

"fucking bass wouldn't link!" he groaned going to the fridge in the corner and pulled out a water "every time we kept trying and in the end it was the wrong line" Georg slammed against the wall and hit his head

"dude calm down its fixed now" Gustav spoke looking at the bassist who was in no need of being told to 'calm down' Tom sat himself next to me and rested an arm around the back of the sofa occasionally tapping my shoulder and laughing every time I looked to see who it was, we all sat in a comfortable silence all In our own worlds- I was worried for tonight, seeing Brian again is making feel like I need to be sick, I just hoped I wouldn't mess up my parts.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

we were all quickly pulled from our heads and turned to the door where Felix our stage director was stood "we need you all, don't bring your stuff" he spoke in a hurry and running back to who knows where, we all sighed internally and stood up. Being closest to the door I held it open for the other 3 but they all waited

"just go-"

"Y/n we have this argument all the time" Gustav pushed me through the door before I could even argue back and they followed out laughing as I shoved the drummer back with a yelp leaving his mouth. We made it to the stage and walked to the middle, the feeling in my stomach got considerably worse as for the first time I realised how big the show was going to be my eyes curled around the room I couldn't even see the end of the building

"what are we doing?" Tom asked coming to stand next to me and resting his arm on my shoulder as for him I was 'perfect arm height'

"well I need to explain lights to you-" we all gave a small look to one another, nobody want to stand and listen to how the lights will be during the set but we also all knew we had no choice "so when you-" I acted like I was listening but I faded away, I stared right threw Felix and I imagined Brian instead, those fucking dark blue eyes, curly brown hair and that emotionless face he pulled when he said 'we're over' it's been 2 weeks since it happened and Tom was right I didn't really show that I was upset in front of anyone or how the moment haunts me, but they don't see what happens behind closed doors...

"Y/n" I herd a whisper into my ear and I looked to the boy beside me, his eyes looked worried "we need a few minuets" Tom's voice cracked through what Felix was saying and before the older man could interject I was pulled away back behind the curtain "you need tissue" he spoke, my forearm still in his hand as he dragged me into the bathroom next to our backstage room

"Tom I'm fine" he shook his head pulling toilet roll off and folding Into a square

"so do please tell me why you're crying?" I sighed, I knew he wouldn't stop till he got an answer or something from me

"strobes make me emotional" I spoke looking to the floor but he wasn't playing around

"look at me" he commanded but my head wouldn't let me, and I just stared to my shoes "please" at that it was like a release button was pressed and my head snapped up, our eyes met straight away but vision became watery "talk to me-"

"what did I do Tom? I tried everything, he had everything he said he wanted, and he's the only fucking one who's ever wanted me for me, not because of you four guys, not because of my work or money, he wanted me!" I sobbed as for the first time I finally told someone how I really felt "I haven't said a thing but to know he'll be here tonight makes me feel like shit- I can't look at him Tom, after everything we did and for him... for him to say its over and the same night fuck a girl kills me every day! I loved him and this is what I got-" I called in an almost scream, I leant against the wall and slid down until I could feel the tile on my legs and I just held my head, crying into my palms

"I know, and I know its going to be hard babe I know" he spoke and I felt his hand stroke my head "and he wont be the only one to ever want you, so many people will, I promise, you can find someone so much better- fuck sake you're Y/n Y/l/n!. and tonight we'll play the best we ever have just to show him, and I swear to fuck he tries anything on you, he'll be dead" I nodded finally lifting my head and looking towards the boy who just opened his arms for me while crouching, quickly I jumped to him which for the first time in a while- I felt at peace

"yeah..yeah we will" I breathed hiding my face in his neck

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6:00pm (one hour before the show)

"HELLO!" a voice rung into the room followed by a spiky haired boy who walked through the door "fuck me its dull in here" he laughed coming over to sit on his make-up chair

"where the fuck were you!" Tom called to his twin In a angry tone

"meetings and voice stuff" the other brother came back with

"you said you'd be back by 12!" Tom shouted

"I got caught up alright get over it I'm here!" Bill rolled his eyes and slipped of his shirt and began changing for the show, I decided it'll be best if I did the same, the other 3 were ready anyways

"I'll be back" I spoke getting up and going to my bag pulling my outfit out and walking to the bathroom. I locked the door and stared at myself in the mirror, my hair really needed a re-dye, the Y/H/C was really starting to fade, moving on I took off my vest and bra and pulled a lacy black one out and slipped it over me so I didn't have to unclip it, I saw a glimmer of light in the bag and pulled it out seeing a matching thong 'Fucking Clair' I smiled to myself and quickly slipped it on, I did look good I couldn't lie, I posed in the mirror and fixed my hair around my head- I needed a photo "CAN SOMEONE GRAB MY PHONE!" I called waiting to hear a knock as I combed through my hair with my nails

"here- woah" I herd a voice behind me say and I quickly turned seeing Tom looking me up and down with a smirk appearing on his face "who's that for?" he asked leaning against the door frame, his eyes set on my body

"well first of all- how did you get in I locked it, secondly its not for you Kaulitz so don't get you're hopes up" I spoke facing him and his eyes only widened "get out Tom" I laughed seeing him raise his hands in defence

"hey! don't blame me" he smiled placing the phone on the side and walking out and shutting the door which I promptly locked smiling at the idiocy of the boy "dudes she is in a thong!" I herd Tom telling the rest to which they all 'ooo'ed at

"CREEPS" I shouted hearing an up roar of laughter, I rolled my eyes and carried on pulling the phone up and snapping a few pictures of myself, then I grabbed the skirt which just about covered anything and a white top which usually matched Tom's as we decided we'd being doing that for the next few shows. I left the bathroom holding my old clothes and phone and saw all their heads spin to the door "god you guys need to get some pussy or something" I grinned seeing them all blush

"do a twirl Y/n" Bill spoke re-directing the conversation and so I did and he clapped when I bowed

"don't do that on stage if you're facing the crowd" Gustav smirked "I just saw your ass and I don't think your mother would be impressed if that happened"

"good call, someone write- don't bend at audience!" Georg spoke settling in his seat, we all sat and could hear the faint chats of the audience that was arriving, I began pacing around the room humming my lyrics to myself over and over

"smoke?" Tom asked to which I passed him out the door and waited for him outside, the cool night air hitting my skin "here- you need to calm the fuck down" I nodded taking the cig out the box

"I just don't wanna mess up" he smiled at me, lighting the end of the tobacco and then his own "what if they boo me or leave?"

"babe they won't" his hand wrapped around my waist and held me gently "everyone loves you out there, I've seen at least 100 people in your shirts, you've got it" I looked up to him and our eyes connected instantly "if anything look to me I'll do something alright?"

"like trip up or was that only for soundcheck?" he fake laughed rolling his eyes again making me smile, the distance seemed to shorten, we do have our moments but those are funny- this felt real...? tension building around us, eyes locked and ash falling by our feet

"you know-" he began

"TOM Y/N COME ON!" Bill crashed threw the door, hair standing on end and dressed in black (new for him) we quickly broke apart and took one last drag from our smokes before kicking them out and walking inside, people crowded us giving us mics, drum sticks, picks, guitars, sprays, you name it we probably had it

"WELCOME.... TOKIO HOTEL" the speakers sounded and the twins swagged onto the stage followed by me and Georg and Gustav last going to his kit

"GOOD EVENING TRIER" Bill called and the crowd erupted "how we all doing?" and the screams made us smile, it was such a familiar feeling but seeing everyone happy helped, Bill looked to me and gestured for me to come over so I brought myself to the front of stage passing Tom who winked to me getting a 'ooo' from the people in the room who saw, the black haired boy placed his arm around my head and the sea of people snapped pictures and screamed my name

"I think I know what the people want" I spoke with a smile, jokingly the boy 'leaned in' and screams of anticipation filled the building "no not that" I called as we pulled away and the boys behind got the cue to start playing schrei and I ran back to my place hearing the cheer only get louder as Bill began to sing- we loved destroying the imaginations of our fans, its thrilling there was always rumours, usually around me and that I am 'fucking them all' but it's defiantly not the case.

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It was time, I saw the boys look towards me and with a breath I joined the lead singer up front, being a backing singer I wasn't needed much but I was showing something tonight "so you all see my gorgeous girl Y/n here?" Bill spoke pulling me to the front of the stage, hands spiked up everywhere scratching to touch just a thread of our clothing "she has some news!" with a toothy smile Bill past me his mic and backed away back to the group behind- I wasn't used to being centre stage but it was crazy, I could see everything (ish) smiles and tear stained faces

"so you all know we haven't had new music in a few months right?" they all shouted incoherent words "well- you seem like a crowd who'd wanna see some new material!?" I looked back to the boys who were all dopily smiling at me as the people infront blew up in shouts "okay okay so, I wrote this song when I was at not an amazing time in my life.. I felt like giving up but instead, with the help of these, I wrote my feeling into a song, usually this would be preformed by our lovely Bill but.. just got tonight, I'll be singing" I hyped and the band got into places to start playing don't jump

I began singing the words and walking around the tip of the stage holding the hands of as many as I could 'On top of the roof The air is so cold and so calm I say your name in silence' until my eyes landed on him- the words seemed to be pulled from my mouth, everything went silent and he knew what he'd done to me... the song was partially made because of what he did before we broke up, my mind switched as I herd the strum of Tom's guitar- remembering his words 'and tonight we'll play the best we ever have just to show him, and I swear to fuck he tries anything on you, he'll be dead' with a breath I carried on stomping my way back up stage to the rest of the band Bill was off the other side by Georg and I went to my place by Tom, a smile smothered his face as I stood facing him 'hi' he mouthed, I let my free hand reach for his face and held his jaw getting a roar from the fans, Tom placed a kiss to my palm and I soon let go trying to hide a very big blush from swamping my face and our next move came to play- we both turned back to back as his strummed his guitar, I leant against him spilling my lyrics until the beat jumped again 'I scream into the night for you Don't make it true Don't jump The lights will not guide you through They're deceiving you Don't jump' I walked back to mid stage being followed by Georg first who smiled at me and banged his head, then by Tom who only smirked sending me a wink. I got to the edge of the stage and hands reached to me and I tried to hold them all 'And if all that can't hold you back I'll jump for you' the song ended and the building blew up, cheers, screams, claps it was a rush, I blew kisses to them all, my mind forgot about what I was thinking before. Bill and Gustav joined us at the front and we all did a joint bow getting a laugh from us all, the others let go but Toms arm still stayed around my shoulder pulling me close

"see told you they'd love it" he whispered I smiled looking to him, he was sweaty and panting slightly as when he concentrates to much he forgets to breath, his arm pulled me even closer and he planted a kiss to my forehead before the lights turned off- our queue to get off stage the 5 of us were ushered off and as I stepped over to be in the backstage area someones arms scooped me into a hug though I couldn't see because the whole place was pitch black "Ugh you did so well" it was Tom's voice, calming me instantly "they loved the song!" he spoke settling me down but still had me close "told you they would" I looked back to the sweaty guitar player and he pulled my head to his as he pressed a kiss to my forehead again

"get room!" Gustav poked erring a laugh from he rest "nobody wants to see a softy Kaulitz!"

"eh what do ya mean- he aint soft" Tom quipped eyeing his friend up

"gross" Gustav laughed walking his way back to our room, me and the other boy followed and walked in to see Bill lay on the sofa with his makeup nearly rolling down his face due to being so hot

"Y/n I can't get over the audience" the black haired man spoke "god... that was one of my fave ever shows"

"I can't get over it" i went to my bag and pulled my cigarettes out and the boys all seemed to perk up again "coming?" I joked seeing them all get up as we went to the outside, it was dark with only the security lights illuminating the floor, I handed them all a ciggy and pulled my lighter out and burning the end "I saw Brian, he was just kinda stood there" they hummed "I'm over it- he can fuck who ever he fucking wants because none will ever be as good as me" I groaned feeling the hot smoke going out my mouth

"I saw him and he just looked sad, he misses you, I can tell" Bill spoke getting a shove from Gustav "what? I doesn't matter. All I was saying is that he looked sad probably because Y/n/n was happy unlike when he last saw her" I laughed, we stood in a silence finishing our cigs, stepping them out and walked into a runner calling all our names

"BILL!...GEORG!?" he looked out off breath "Finally- we need you all, meet n' greet" we all had the realisation and practically sprinted to our room and began to spray any aftershave or perfume we could find as after running round and singing you sweat, meaning we don't smell the best, me and Bill fixed our eyes and hair and then we all walked out like we hadn't just shit ourselves and made our way to the front of the building to see a line of (mostly) fan girls crying out

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"thank you so much I loved the show and the new song! holy shit it was amazing" a girl named Bethany spoke hugging us all one last time, we were told not many more people so we fixed ourselves up and waiting for the next person

"I love the flowers" I spoke looking at the roses a girl called Alicia brought me "is their anyone else-" as I spoke the door opened with Erik (our runner) holding it for the next fan, we all looked up and saw a brunette boy.... blue eyes "what the fuck do you think you're doing?... seriously!" Brians eyes were red and face tear stained, I felt myself tense up at the sight, all the boys stood scarily still

"I want to talk to you babe" his voice shook, those eyes staring into mine, its like he didn't realise he was in a room of people who really did not like him "please its me... baby please"

"don't call her baby" Tom grumbled " she doesn't have to do shit for you" I looked toward the boy, his hands in a ball already he moved quickly, towering over Brian

"Tom" Bill warned but no remorse went to his twin, we all watched as Tom stared down at Brian saying words to fast to even work out, Brain looked like he was about to break down nodding his head

"and I'm not fucking lying- you ever touch her, talk to her, anything... I wont fucking stop until you can't move and my hands are red- understand?" I looked toward the others, I wasn't scared for Brian but more worried that something would happen, Georg got the memo and walked to the guitarist placing a hand on his shoulder, I saw Tom relax and walk back to us leaving my ex standing with shock on his face, he looked back to me

"please" he pleaded 'shit' is all I thought as I saw Tom's face drop, his knuckles white he stormed back to Brian "...dude-" he squealed before the guitarist had him up the door slamming him back and forth, I watched as my ex's face became red trying to shove Tom back but him being a lot shorter- he had no chance, perfect "GET THE FUCK OFF ME DICK!" he shouted and Bill grabbed his brothers shoulder and pulled him off

"leave I-" the singer couldn't finish as a fist flew into his shoulder "WHAT THE FUCK" Bil'ls hand collided with Brians face sending him back quickly followed by Tom punching down at the boy, nobody touches the other twin without the other one getting involved. The fight continued until a scream cut the room, blood was on Toms arm and he stepped back, Gustav was keeping me back by our picture wall and Georg stood next to him and seized looking over

"damn-" Gustav hummed, I looked over to see Brian holding his nose and Tom proudly standing above

"this is your fucking fault Y/n... I should've dated you-" his words stung "this would have never bloody happened if I had just left you earlier!" my heart ached "fuck" he grumbled standing against the door, I looked to his eyes- black and blue. He took a step forward, stumbling slightly but he quickly found his feet again and came at me "YOU DID THIS!" I turned back waiting for my pain- a punch, a slap, a kick but I never felt it THUD I opened my eyes to see Georg on the floor slamming his fist into the boy again- he was really getting the works tonight

"BA-ST-ARD" he chanted before the door burst open to two runners with astonished faces who quickly grabbed their walkie-talkies and spoke some words I couldn't work out, within seconds security rammed in pulling Georg off of Brian who looked even worse and we were all taken back out "fucking dick what did he think he was doing!" and the five of us were pushed out the room

"arsehole" Tom stormed "hope he's in fucking pain for ages-"

"I can't believe he tried to punch me, ME!" Bill shook his head going through to our room I walked with Gustav giving him a 'look' to which he only nodded at "he's a dick" the boys all sat and I just stared into the mirror- those 5 minuets felt more like hours and I just didn't have any words

"this is your fucking fault Y/n... I should've dated you-"

"this would have never bloody happened if I had just left you earlier!"

"YOU DID THIS!"

those sentences flying around my head, I couldn't pull myself away from it, I just looked at myself, I just felt- wrong

"what the hell! why did I just have to see security drag a bloody nosed kid out that room!" Our stage manger burst in "you lot are a world famous band we don't need stunts like that being pulled! 16 people have had to miss a meet n greet because of it!" he shouted but I couldn't hear him really- I wasn't there "Y/n!" he shouted snapping me back

"I'm sorry" I spoke turning to face him

"it's not her fault" Gustav spoke "he was fucking deranged" I laughed slightly looking back at him with a smile

"I don't care! its not a funny matter, its disappointing" we all nodded as he walked out, I turned to the boys and looked to the twins, Tom had blood over him still and Bill just looked pissed off

"I think I'm going to go to the hotel..." I spoke grabbing my bag off the side and hanging it over my shoulder and pulling my skirt lower to feel more covered "bye-"

"wait-" someone spoke "I'll come lemme clean myself up first- five mins" it was Tom, I nodded and settled myself onto my make up chair watching him run to the bathroom

"we're not annoyed at you Y/n, its not your fault" Georg spoke coming over stroking my shoulder "he's a prick"

"I know- I just feel bad, you all basically got hurt because of him and the whole thing was so pathetic I doesn't even seem real like.."

"yeah I get it- its fine, just sleep it off alright" I agreed and watched through the mirror Tom come back in

"ready?"

#tom kaulitz #Bill Kaulitz #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz imagines #tom kaulitz smut #georg listing #tokio hotel #gustav schäfer #kaulitz twins #tom kaulitz icons #bill kaulitz

[matenrou-fan]

Lucifer pays you a visit

I didn't write that much for OM last time when actually I really wanted to!! So I decided to finish this thing that was in my drafts for a while.. Hope to receive more OM request this time ahhhh!! >.<

Actions are taking place in the human world, when you get back after a year in Devildom. But even if the student exchange program is over, Lucifer still wants to see his dearest girlfriend

femreader, teasing, begging, body worship, oral (receiving);; 2748 words;;

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

;MINORS DNI;

You sigh, a little bit nervous as you look at a clock on your bed table. Why does time always get so slow when you are waiting for something? Or maybe you should use the word someone..? Anyways, this waiting starts getting on your nerves and you get up from bed.

Your room was really comfy, looking the same as the time when you left it, but honestly now you feel like something was off, like it was empty a little bit. Even with all those things that you were missing for the whole year that you spent in another dimension with demon brothers didn't bring you that happens that you expected to feel when you finally get back home.

Oh, but maybe they can entertain you right now, as you have nothing more to do. It has already been a few weeks since you got here so all dust was cleaned up but you still have a little mess here, your old things were mixed with new ones that you brought with yourself as farewell gifts from Devildom. You start looking through pages of your old diary, reading about your old boring days. Well, they weren't that boring back then, just now, after all those things that you've been through, these little notes look so.. peaceful.. You can't help but chuckle and move forward, searching for more things that will bring you some memories.

After some time you finally get to your wardrobe. Huh, there's so much clothes that you forget about..! This past week was a little bit busy as you tried to revive your "normal" human life again, thinking about studying and working, so you didn't pay that much attention to your clothes.

As you looked through shelves you noticed the one with pajamas, and one set got your attention.. It was a pink silk shorts with white prints and a little bow on a waistband, and a matching top with thin white lace as straps. You chuckle, looking at a small piece of fabric and then quickly undress yourself. You were a little playful today so you decided that this cute pajama, that was much more revealing than the one that you picked before, is more suited to your mood right now. You bite your lip as you look at the mirror in your bedroom, just a cute and innocent look, but you can imagine his reaction already.

Speak of the Devil.. As soon as you think about your visitor again you suddenly hear a knock on the door. You ran out of the bedroom, already a little bit inpatient.

"Who it's is..?" - you asked with a smirk on your face when you get closer to the door, heart beating so fast as you already know who is standing there.

"You already know who's decided to pay a visit to you so late.." - the deep voice on the other side of the door chuckled. - "It's Lucifer.."

Well. Any other humans would probably shoot their door tight after hearing something like that, thinking it's some sort of prank, but you know that's not a joke or something, and quickly open the door.

Lucifer was standing here, his casual academy's suit was gone, as he was wearing black sweater with a turtleneck and dark blue jacket. A simple look but he was so charming right now, his black styled hair and deep red eyes was matching his clothes perfectly.

"How I'm glad to finally meet you again.." - he smirks, his voice playful as always. But as soon as his eyes move from your smiling face to your body, exploring your soft, almost uncovered skin, his smirk grows wider. - "Someone definitely was waiting for me today, huh? Such a great welcoming move just for me?"

You look at him innocently, acting like you don't understand what he's talking about and lead him to your kitchen. Despite all these teases you actually missed him and wanted to talk about so many things.

And he feels the same. As you two drink tea together, he listens carefully to all your stories. You got carried away a little, telling him about all that awkward situation when you suddenly get back after a whole year, your friend's reaction and everything. There were some funny stories, some embarrassing ones, but you didn't hide anything from him. And your lover appreciated that, he didn't even try to hide his smile as he was listening to your mumbles, these sparkles in your eyes are so adorable, and these cute giggles.. He can't help but sometimes his gaze starts wandering around your body, slowly moving from your small hands to your naked shoulder and then to your breast, covered with light fabric. He licks his lips and looks at your eyes again, despite he's still hearing all that you say his mind flies away in another world as he starts wondering about all those things that can help him show just how much he actually missed you all this time.

Then you suddenly finish and smile at him.

"So, and how are things in Devildom? I bet you also have plenty of stories about Mammon causing troubles, don't you?" - you giggle, drinking warm herbal tea and Lucifer scoff:

"You bet I have them.. But darling.." - he moves closer, his fingertips touching your hands lightly - "Don't you think that now, when we finally have some.. private time without my annoying brothers, we should spend it more properly?"

He smirks, noticing as light pink covers your cheeks, your eyes on his face, the mix of surprise, embarrassment and tease in your gaze look so charming. Who know Avatar of Pride would fall so easily in your cute little trap? But a little look at your body, this soft and sweet smell of your skin was enough for him to get needy. He hold your hands more tightly, squeezing it a little as his thumbs caressing your knuckles. Lucifer sighs a little, revealing his softer side, as he can't help but feel the same pink color adorn his face too.

"I missed you so much.." - your heart skipped a beat when he said that, his tone so soft and deep. It was unusual to see him like that, as he showed this sensitive part of him only for you on rare occasions. But that also means that he's not joking or playing right now..

You look at his large hands on your smaller one, then look back at him. The little changes in your gaze tell him more than any words can tell as he gets up and gets closer, leaning towards you and cupping your face with his arms, bringing you to a kiss, a hungry one, as he can't get enough of your lips. Just how much he thought about this during your separation, laying all alone in his bedroom late at night, the image of your face doesn't leave his mind..

You almost chuckle, thinking how needy he can be and then gasp, a little bit surprised, as his arms find their way to your waist. He squeezed it a little before picking you up. He breaks a kiss, just for a few seconds, breathing heavily.

"Where is your bedroom?"

"Ooh, I thought you were so hungry that you would take me right here.." - you giggle, as your legs wrap around his hips. Thoughts about him pinning you to the table, so fast, aggressive and merciless.. You felt a tingly running to your core but Lucifer just smirks:

"Despite that I can do that.. I want to give your more proper attention today. I want to fully enjoy you, all for myself.." - his hands moved to your ass cheeks, holding them tightly as he pressed your crotch to his.

You shiver, telling him where your room is and he quickly gets inside, laying you down on the bed as he gets on top of you. He didn't even give you time to react as he kissed you again, now a more soft but still so greedy, pushing himself inside your mouth, his tongue a little bit bitter, Lucifer is probably drinking coffee before paying a visit to you.. You moan right into his mouth as his hands start exploring your body, the soft fabric of your pajama was so light, it almost feels like he's touching your naked skin. Well, it didn't take too much time before he actually got under your small top, cupping your breast, your already hard nipples between his fingers as he played with them a little. Even after so much time he still remembers all your weak spots and now uses them to tease you a little, yet still didn't touch you down here, only paying attention to your chest and trembling figure.

His lips moved further, now a demon was kissing your neck, your little noises were so precious.. He was missing them so much. And oh just how much he was missing those high pitched gasps that you always did when he suddenly bit your skin, as he did just right now. He looked prideful at the red mark, licking it and getting a little bit down, to a collarbone.

"Sh.. Sh.. don't whine too much.." - he chuckled, kissing a prominent bone before leaving a hickey - "I need to make sure every human would know that you're mine.."

You can't help but giggle softly. That's it, that's the Lucifer you always had known.. Possessive and jealous in his love, but that's why you like him - because his wild passion always hits you right into the heart, making shivers run down your spine as he keeps transmitting his inner fire by bunch of hickeys. Lines of his marks going down, to your breast now, where your lover stops for a moment. He looked up for a moment, and this manic deep gaze of his glowing red eyes.. you whimper, arching your back a little, pushing your body closer to his, making him chuckle in amusement.

"Be patient, little lady.. After all, I want to spend the whole night by your side, so we don't need to hurry, okay..?"

He helps you to take off the small top, admiring your beautiful naked breast, enjoying every small detail - the way your chest gets up and down with uneven breath, how small goosebumps covers you as fresh air of your bedroom tickles heated up skin, and, of course, your moles and birthmarks that was like a little starts on canvas of your beautiful body. Lucifer adores every part of you and your figure, never getting enough of this mesmerizing view in front of him.

"You're just like I remember.." - he whispers, leaning closer and kissing a gap between your boobs. Despite the fact that he still was so playful today, thoughts about him actually being here, with you, melted the demon's heart, and he got kinda romantic, almost worshiping your body with his hands and lips.

Licking your right areola before cupping sensitive nipples between lips, making you whimper. Your hand finds its way in Lucifer's hair, buried in black locks as slow lapping of his tongue sends shivers down your spine. His other hand grabs your left breast, fingertips playing and pushes a small teat as he enjoys all the sweet sounds you make, singing so cute just for him.

It doesn't take too much time before Lucifer eventually lowered more, peppering your stomach with kisses, and then finally reaching your hips that were trembling in silk shorts. Without any words he just took it off, throwing it away just to see the cotton fabric of your panties already being soaked in your wetness.

"I can see you were waiting for it no less than me.." - a low chuckle escaped his lips, tickling your skin as his head was now between your thighs. Prolonged eye contact on your blushing face as his arms slowly get under waistband and pull it down, revealing your heated up skin inch by inch.

You bite your lip, getting more flustered - of course you wanted him no less than he wants you, yet after so much time apart you suddenly get more ashamed again, as if it was one of your first times with this playful demon. And of course it doesn't go unnoticed to him.

"Ooh? So you're nervous..? Don't worry, s/o, you know I don't bite.. Well, at least this part of your body.." - Lucifer chuckles, caressing your inner thighs as he spreads your legs a little. The view of your pulsing cunt makes his already starving mind go even crazy and he leaned closer, making first, long and slow lick. Such a bitter yet sweet taste, even the most expensive aged Demonus will never be as heady and delightful as your sinful ambrosia. And along with these soft whimpers that get more high pitched when movements of his tongue get more strong and intense.. truly majestic.

Lucifer was just a pro at making you squirm around with his mouth, playing with your folds before lapping on your clit in fast pace, than, as soon as he sees how much you start trembling and lifting your hips more, he suddenly slow down and move his tongue away, leaving your whining and sobbing. In the beginning you thought that your lover is kinda inpatient today but now it seems like he is willing to do things for a long time, making up for lost time when he was not here. He was literally eating you out, sucking on your folds, pushing his tongue deep inside, slurping all juices, enjoying your body as the most pleasant meal.

"Mm.. Luci, please…" - you moan, grasping his hair again as it's starting to be too much. Your head starts to feel dizzy as all your nerves concentrate in your core, aching for release. Knot in your tummy grow more and more, pulsing and making you tremble in anticipation.

"I didn't even use my fingers and you already like that?" - he smirks right into your pussy, licking your folds, tip of his tongue so suffocatingly close to your throbbing clit. - "Tell me, how often did you dream about this if now you're so oversensitive?"

You whine in embarrassment. Oh of course, how can you forget about all these teases, as Lucifer always loves to play with you.. Bringing you almost to the edge, sending more and more waves of goosebumps over your whole body with his movements, just too mocking you for being so needy for him..

"I.. several times every week.." - voice so weak yet you should answer, knowing damn well this demon will not continue if you're not telling him.

"How cute.. You were being so desperately needy, yet never called for me to come?"

"Well.. I thought that maybe you would be busy or something.." - you mumble under your breath, looking away.

"Oh, sweetheart.. You should know that no matter how busy I get I always would find time to spend it alone with you.." - Lucifer smiles, pressing his lips to your clit again, kissing a small bundle of nerves before sucking on it. Arms strong enough to keep you in place as you start bucking your hips again, feeling an upcoming tingling wave in your core.

All your muscles tensed up for a moment and you moan as a hot rush overflows you, burning you in bliss. Lucifer keeps moving his tongue around your clit, gladly suckin your cum as his amused eyes watch your pleasant face.. How you gasp, digging nails in sheets around you with one hand and pulling his hair with another, how you shut your eyes, full of tears, overwhelmed with such strong pushing feeling between your thighs, how you strain your vocal cord, calling his name so loud and needy.. Lucifer can enjoy this beautiful view in front of him for eternity. But he wants to push even more, wants to see the same expression on your face when you would clench around his dick, squeezing him with your walls, so tight it's hard to move, almost as if you are asking to fulfill your pussy with his cum.. Image of you getting lost in your pleasure again, as he pounds you like a wild animal doesn't leave his mind for the whole time as he gets inside your house and sees your provocative pajamas.

So Lucifer pulls away from your thighs, getting on top of you with a smug smile.

"So, darling.. Are you ready to start real fun..?"

#Now I'm thinking about writing something like part two with the main act.. #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me luci x reader #lucifer obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer smut #lucifer x reader #lucifer obey me smut #lucifer obey me x reader #lucifer smut #smut obey me #obey me smut

[kitthepurplepotato]

MWRMI Part 3

Week 1 - The Art of All Might 🎨

~•🥦•~

Summary: Y/N works on an All Might art. Midoriya becomes an art critic.

Warnings: Some swear words, mentions of blood

First Part Master List

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Midoriya wasn’t lying when he said he won’t be home too much. It has been 4 days since the pool-accident and you haven’t seen the guy at all since. Sometimes, you wake up to some rustle in the middle of the night when he gets home, or to the annoying ringing noise of his fancy ass bracelet, but that’s it. He leaves before you wake up and comes back when you’re already asleep, and sometimes, he doesn’t come home at all.

You are a little bit concerned for the hero’s general health so you decide to start preparing some food for the poor fella; there is always a new cup noodle box in the bin in the morning even though there is freshly made rice in the rice cooker. He probably just mixes some rice into his noodles and thinks that’s “good enough”.

Well, it is NOT. Mama Y/N will make sure the boy eats his vegetables before he runs away to fight the evil.

With that said, you wake up at the humble hour of 11AM and make your way to the kitchen with your sketchbook and your pencil case; you want to get a start on your commissions while the food is cooking.

You want to make something without rice today; he’s been eating rice with cup noodles for at least 4 days in a row so you decide to make a pasta dish full of veggies and some chicken salad in case he wants to snack on something when he’s in a hurry.

You went out for grocery shopping the day before; you used your own card to buy them, thank you very much; and bought a bunch of veggies and tomato sauce. You put some water on the hob to boil, you slice up your veggies for the sauce: some eggplants, paprika, tomatoes, garlic and onion; after the veggies are in the pot with the tomato sauce, you put some chickpeas in it as well for some protein.

Yes, this will do. The amount might be a bit over the top, but Midoriya is a big guy and he probably needs to eat way more than a normal person.

Oh fuck, you hope he doesn’t have any allergies.

Gluten is definitely fine as the cup noodles he ate had gluten in them, so you should stop freaking out. This is pro hero Deku you are talking about. Allergies have nothing on him. He’s too PLUS ULTRA for that shit.

After you are done with the salad; the chicken is also getting ready on the hob; you sit down on the massive table to start to sketch out your commission. It’s All Might Texas smashing a nomu into the concrete in his young age costume.

You start sketching while the food cooks, concentrating mainly on All Might right now; the background can wait until the last minute even though you already have a rough idea for it; a city next to the sea, the sea rumbling aggressively from the tremors of All Might’s smash in the background. Ahh, epic.

The food is done way before you are, so you quickly box up the most of it and continue working on your drawing. You end up drawing until late, not even realizing how dark it is outside already. This is the thing with you; once you start, it’s really hard for you to stop until you finish the rough sketch and All Might is a complicated character anyway; it’s hard to describe why but you feel like his body is somehow more detailed than anyone else’s.

You end up falling asleep on the table around 2AM; you only wake up when you hear the main door open but you are still half asleep and so-so tired, you don’t have it in you to move. There is no reason to move, really; there is food on the table for the hero to eat, the table is big enough for him to have enough space to eat even with half of your body being splayed out on it. You might have a slight back ache already from the pose you are sleeping in, but honestly… whatever.

“Ahh, silly you.” You hear a mumble really close to you, but you decide to ignore it for the sake of your beauty sleep. You can hear Deku microwaving the food you left out for him and saying thank you while sniffling aggressively. Is he crying? Fuck, he’s so precious. He’s still just a shy boy deep inside, isn’t he? You can hear him moving your sketchbook from under you; if you wouldn’t be half asleep you definitely would NOT let him do that.

“Hm.” He mumbles and stands up from his seat then sits down again; by the sound of it he’s writing something down on a piece of paper. Probably a thank you message. After a while the clink of the fork stops and you can feel Deku’s warmth around you.

Why is he so close?!

Oh… you are being carried, bride style.

Pro hero Deku, your favorite person in the world is carrying you to your fucking bed at whatever AM and he smells fresh and nice, even though he just came home from work. He probably showered before coming back.

Okay, this is a stupid fanfiction, isn’t it? What a fucking cliché thing to do, like honestly, can’t this person come up with something more creative? No kudos for this one. No kudos.

Midoriya moves the sheets out of the way and puts you down; he makes sure you are properly tugged in like a little child. You are waiting for the kiss on your forehead but it never comes; apparently the greenette realized you are indeed not a child and it would be creepy as fuck to do something like that after knowing each other for only a few days. He sighs and leaves your room; you can hear a slight rustling and the buzzing of the microwave before you pass out completely.

~•🥦•~

The next day comes sooner than you expected it to; the sun beams into the room with full force thanks to the blinds not being closed the night prior. You take a look at your clock; it’s 8AM.

Well, at least you were able to sleep 6 hours and to be fair, you don’t do much during the day anyway, so this will do. The flat is quiet, the only sound you can hear is All Meowt doing his business in the bathroom. Not the best sound to wake up to but you’ll take it.

Speaking of All Meowt, that cat hates your guts. Every time you leave your room he scrambles into Deku’s through the little pet door; of course there is a fucking pet door on every single door. This cat is the most spoiled creature the world has ever seen.

You really hope he just needs some time to adjust to your existence in his home, otherwise it will be really hard for you to take care of his needs in the a future. You really don’t want to barge into the pro hero’s room without a permission from Midoriya, and you are also not sure if your fanatic little heart would be able to take the sight of Midoriya’s personal little room with all his beloved kick-knacks and stuff. It’s too much information. Like damn, you’ve been wondering about how his bed looks like (and feels like… Khm.) for years.

You shake your head to clear it up and make your way to the kitchen; as you move closer to your impromptu work space you find two notes and a newspaper cutout of All Might attached to your drawing.

Okay, that definitely wasn’t there when you fell asleep.

You take the All Might themed sticky tags in your hand to read them;

One says “Thank you for the food! It was awesome! You are the best! Plus Ultra!” The note ended with Pro Hero Deku’s fancy signature which you always wanted to get but never had the chance to. Midoriya probably knew that, hence why he signed it like that instead of writing his name on it. What a legend!

The other note is a bit more messy and contains feedback on your sketch.

“Too many muscles! This is golden age All Might in his Young Age costume! Not realistic! Use the attached picture for reference, it’s the best one I could find! Please take care of it and give it back when you’re done! Thank you!”

You can’t help but giggle. Deku, Number 1 hero of Japan just left All Might themed sticky notes on your silly little sketch.

“Izu-Izu, your twin is weird, but I kinda like him. Don’t be too jealous though!” You mumble to your favorite cardboard cutout who looks really happy next to Midoriya’s massive All Might one; you can see them both perfectly from the kitchen through the massive archway. They are almost holding hands.

You take the little notes into your room and put them on the side of your dresser; you really hope this isn’t a one time thing and you can fill the whole side with Midoriya’s notes and be the only person in the whole world who owns hundreds of sticky notes written by pro Hero Deku. You might even end up in the Guinness Records. That would be super cool!

… okay, let’s focus. You really need to stop fangirling over the guy you live with, it’s creepy as fudge. It may also ruin your chances to form a bond with the greenette and you might end up on the streets then. It’s time to grow up.

With that said, you make your way back to the kitchen to eat something and continue your sketch - well, thanks to Midoriya’s feedback you kinda need to start it all over again but that’s fine.

As you open the fridge door you get a little bit confused; the leftover food from yesterday is completely gone. Not like that’s a bad thing or anything, but the truth is, that food was supposed to be enough for a week. A week. How the heck is it gone already?!

Oh, there is another note on the empty shelf.

“I’m so sorry, the food was too good and I accidentally ate most of it… then I woke up thinking about it and decided to bring the rest of it to work with me…

I’m so selfish, I’m sorry! (*_ _)/\ Please order some takeaway with my card today! Also, sorry about all the notes! Midoriya”

You burst out laughing at this point, scaring poor All Meowt to death when he tries to sneak out from Midoriya’s room to nibble on his food.

Honest to God, this guy can’t be real.

Needless to say, you are NOT going to use that forbidden card you hid away in your night stand, but instead, you’ll make more home cooked food for the hero to enjoy after a hard day of work; you really love cooking, especially when your efforts are appreciated, so this whole shenanigan only makes you happy, to be honest.

You put another meal together and sit down to fix your sketch; you also have enough time to do a rough sketch of the background! And if that’s not enough of an achievement for the day, the food tastes amazing and you actually make it to bed this time, even though you kinda wanted to be taken to your bed like a motherfucking princess by the guy of your dreams (again), but you really don’t want to spoil yourself too much or use the poor, tired hero to fulfill your stupid fantasies.

As you wake up to the lovely morning sun the next day, you are already excited to get some new notes to add to your collection; and just as you expected, there is a new batch of “collectibles” attached to your drawing, but this one…

This one is fucking long.

“Texas smash makes a bigger impact! All Might wouldn’t be able to use Texas smash so close to the sea, the vibrations would cause an earthquake which would cause a tsunami. It’s really dangerous, Y/N!!! Texas smash can also change the weather! Keep that in mind!”

“… well, shit. So basically, my whole idea is trash, thank you very much, Midoriya Izuku.” You sigh into the distance, talking to no one in particular and click your mechanical pencil to the table to ground yourself.

How can you use your idea but be realistic without changing the whole thing up?

Oh, right! 💡

Instead of one picture you decide to make a comic out of this; the main picture stays the same and can be used as a poster but you’ll add a comic strip as an extra, where All Might mumbles “fuck” in an American accent while the massive waves devour the area around him.

Yeah, that will do.

This is how the first week of living with pro Hero Deku goes. You draw, he comments, you fix your shit just so he can find another flaw the next day. When you don’t get a nasty comment on the base, you move on to the colors, naively thinking that nothing can go wrong from here because you are literally staring at a picture of All Might while doing the shading, but apparently you used the wrong shade of yellow on All Might’s hair; shit you not, All Might’s hair had a light shine to it when he was Young, which means that using a darker shade of yellow with a muted, lighter one isn’t “realistic” because you need to use a light pastel yellow for highlights to get the right shade.

You MIGHT HAVE put a bit too much chilli into the chili con carne that day as a silent and respectful “fuck you.”

On the last day before his first day off, you finally finish your masterpiece; you might have been a little bit annoyed with him for all the feedback but honestly, this is your best work yet, so eventually, all the nagging has payed off.

As per usual, you leave the art out on the table, opposite of his freshly made dinner. (Which you safely hid under a massive food cover, because All Meowt is a fucking menace…) You are just about to go to the bathroom to clean yourself up before bed when the main door opens with a loud bang; and by loud bang, you mean “was that a fucking earthquake” kinda bang. You are ready to defend yourself from the intruder with the fucking mop you grabbed with your shaky little hands (it’s 3AM and you are fucking tired, okay?!), when a green fluff of hair comes into your view. Deku stands by the door for a few seconds, takes a deep breath and slides down the door to sit on the floor, leaving a lovely trail of blood on the poor thing, making the hallway look like a murder scene in the process.

“Fuck.” He screams silently to not wake you up; you didn’t think silently screaming is an actual thing but apparently it is; then takes a deep breath to calm down. This guy can’t even swear without looking cute, what the fuck.

“So, am I supposed to scream and call the hospital, or is this an every day thing? I’m not sure how to react, to be honest.” You deadpan, absolutely confused. Midoriya looks up at you then laughs, his smile reaching his eyes in the most adorable way. This guy will be the death of you, bloody or not.

“Sorry, I usually shower before I come back but I was on the field for 9 days, I just couldn’t keep it up anymore. I just wanted to to be home.” That last sentence broke your heart. This poor guy went back into his office to use the shower every single day just for you. He’s such a precious guy.

“You are allowed to come home dirty.” With a random burst of confidence, you sit down next to the injured hero. He looks at you with teary eyes but he still gives you a cheeky smile, clearly appreciating your efforts to make him feel less awkward about the situation. “Midoriya, this is your safe place. Use it. I won’t run away because of some blood.” To make your statement even more credible, you stroke his blood soaked hair gently and his eyes widen at the sudden affection, but he doesn’t move away from it. His eyes fill with more tears, slowly trailing down on his freckled face as he hides his face in your chest in embarrassment; he doesn’t say anything, he just stays there and trembles from the exhaustion and the pent up stress. You try to calm down your racing heart, slowly stroking the hero’s back too soothe him and he melts completely into you; in only a few minutes the trembling stops and his breath evens out to a normal level.

“Y/N?” He mutters into your chest and you can’t believe this whole situation right now. This is way too personal, way too intimate, way too… domestic. The worst part is that it feels so normal; it feels like he belongs here, like he was made to be cuddled by you in the middle of the hallway at 3AM. It just feels… right.

“Hm?” You answer in a whisper; you don’t want to ruin the peaceful atmosphere around you.

“Let’s buy some plants tomorrow. And a bench. And stuff… for the garden.” He mumbles, half asleep. “I want to go shopping. Yeah. I want it.” He murmurs, saying the word ‘want’ like it’s something he’s never done before in his life.

“We CAN do that. We can do anything you want. But if you don’t mind me asking; go have a shower. Please.” You giggle, your hands playing with his curls absentmindedly. He chooses this moment to look up from your chest, right into your eyes; you can’t help the blush spreading on your face from the closeness. By the look of it, Midoriya is not affected by it at all; he just smiles gratefully and goes to his room while your heart does a weird backflip in your chest.

“Can you heat up the food?” He shouts from his room, and that’s when you decide to talk back a bit just to keep the guy in check.

“I ain’t your servant, cheeky young man!” You try your best to sound offended but your laugh betrays you. Midoriya pops his head out of the door, half naked with a mischievous smile on his lips; your heart will definitely give out one day if he keeps doing shit like that.

“Please?” He looks at you with his biggest puppy eyes, his smile not fading for a single second.

Fuck, he could probably ask you to bring the sun over for him and you would happily burn to death while doing so.

“Fuck’s sake, Izu-Izu!” You whine and Midoriya bursts out laughing; it takes you a few seconds to realize what’s so funny, but when you do, your soul leaves your body for a second.

“Did you just call me by your husband’s name? I’m breaking up with you.” Midoriya does a perfect job in acting like a jealous mistress, and while you can’t help but laugh, you are dead inside.

You just called Pro Hero Deku by a pet name; a pet name that belongs to your cardboard cutout of him. And he remembers. Of course, he fucking remembers. Who would be able to forget that awkward conversation?

Ahh, you want to leave the Earth and start a new life on Mars. The language barrier might come in handy; you can’t ruin your life by blabbing bullshit if they can’t understand you, right? Even though, knowing your luck you might be able to ruin everything just with your pure existence.

You really hope the Earth swallows you by the morning. Or like… now.

~•🥦•~

You: I called Midoriya Izu-Izu.

Jirou: I’m not disappointed.

You: I hope you choke on a guitar pick.

Jirou: Rude.

… Next chapter!

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Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated 🥦

Taglist: @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #midoriya x y/n #midoriya x reader #deku x reader #deku x you #midoriya izuku x you #midoriya izuku x reader #pro hero deku

[smoothielenny]

ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ

Part two

Neteyam x omatikaya!gn!reader

Summary: the last time you and Neteyam talked was when you got injured by the boy who were bullying you. You tried to avoid Neteyam afterwards not knowing how to approach him. He was the first person you talk to, but might be the last.

Warning: slight yandere behavior,if you don’t like bugs, don’t read, not proofread

[one•two•three]

It’s been a week when the bullies injured you. You’ve noticed that they haven’t been doing their usual jabs to you, more likely avoided you. You’re glad that they stopped. You now can focus on watching the bugs again without being called any names.

You sat and leaned on the tree trunk relaxing yourself. You breathed in and out and smiled at the sound of any sounds that is coming from the forest. The insects crawls towards you and top of your skin. Their little legs felt very ticklish, which made you smile.

The little bug you saw a week ago returned to you. It crawled on your toes to your elbow. You pet it gently giving you a little sweet sound. You giggles and kept relaxing with the insects on top of you.

While buried in hundreds of bugs, Neteyam was behind a tree admiring you. He felt special knowing he’s the first person to hear your voice. He was boasting about it to Lo’ak who could careless. He’s lips curled with a smile seeing you at peace.

He wanted to talk to you, but you’ve been avoiding him which made his heart aches. He wanna stay by you more, he wants to know more about you, but you’re shyness blocks that. But today, Neteyam set himself to talk to you without you running away.

He made his first step, a terrible one causing him to stumble and land on the ground. All the bugs who were relaxing on top of your body flew or ran away feeling threatened. You opened your eyes seeing them fleeing and your gaze went towards Neteyam getting up, rubbing his back and wincing from pain.

You suddenly felt nervous curling into a ball. You haven’t talked to him since that day, you don’t know how to approach him in any ways. Now the pressure is on you, asking him if he’s okay seems easy, but for you it wasn’t. But you are worried, so you tried only to release a small squeak.

That noise then made Neteyam look at you. He released a chuckle while grinning, “woods…are kinda tough here, huh.” As he knocked one of the trunk. You just nodded side eyeing him. An awkward silence has set on the atmosphere.

“Uhm, so how’s your injury?” He sat down in front of you. You bit your lip and formed fake smile mumbling the word ‘good’. He just nodded, “that’s great then.” Another awkward silence is happening. Why can’t you just speak, it’s not that hard. You felt frustrated from that thought.

“um…” Neteyam’s attention is now yours, he wouldn’t want to miss your beautiful voice, “t-thanks again for uh last week.” His eyes glowing of adoration and gives you a smile. “It’s alright, you needed it anyways, those skxawng, they can’t just do that you know.” You nodded, you now feel a bit comfortable loosing your tense body.

“They always do that.” His brows raised up. “What do you mean ‘always?’ You’ve been enduring them tormenting you?” He asked with a concerned tone on his voice. You nodded slowly and sighed. He greeted his teeth knowing these information, I guess telling them off isn’t enough, for him at least.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they won’t bother you anymore.” You felt his warm hands pat your head gently. You look at his face, being close to him it made you feel calm and safe. Maybe it isn’t bad talking to someone, “thank you.” You gave him a small smile which made his heart flutter.

You both talk until the sun goes down. You talked about things you like to do, how you’re interested on watching bugs do their own thing, and we’ll reason why you don’t do much. Neteyam listened carefully to you talking as if he’s taking notes of all these information. You honestly felt heard for the first time, you’re usually ignored when talking back when you were young hence you being quiet all the time. But Neteyam, he made you felt heard and your happy about it.

Also a thought hit you, you made a friend. Your very first friend who will protect you, listen to you, hangout with you, be there for you.

“(y/n), are you listening?” Neteyam waved his hands in front of you. You snapped from your thoughts and nodded. He just giggled. He then stand up and stretches, “well it’s already night, we should go home now, your parents must be worried.” You nodded again.

You were about to stand up, but the sight of Neteyam lending his hands to help you stand up as the moonlight glows to his skin, smiling at you. Your eyes at awe of this sight suddenly feeling bashful. Why now, now that you just noticed how handsome he is.

You took his hand and he helps you stand up. You both then walked back to your home. Feeling suddenly shy next to him.

Afterwards you couldn’t stop thinking about him, he’s like a dreamy prince that turned into reality. You sighed and rolled around to the floor. Why am I feeling this with my first ever friend! You thought as you roll around then accidentally hitting your father.

“Augh! (y/n) careful.” You sat up and look at him. “Oh uhm sorry father, I didn’t noticed you.” He just waved off signing its alright. You couldn’t really think very straight that night even losing a bit of sleep.

#avatar 2009 #avatar way of water #avatar 2 #avatar x reader #neteyam #atwow #avatar fanfiction #neteyam headcanons #neteyam x reader #neteyam x you #avatar neteyam #neteyam x omaticaya!reader #neteyam x na'vi!reader #neteyam x y/n #avatar hc #avatar headcanons #avatar

[where-dreamers-go]

“A Walk Amongst Emotions” Dick Grayson x Reader

(A/N: Part Five, here we are! It’s been a while because of those holidays. Anyway, 1966 Dick Grayson soulmate au series! I have a soft spot for this series. And it’s almost summer break for the pair!!!

Warnings: Reader has social anxiety, use of (Y/N), some angst, and fluff. The amount of effort I put in for these titles…?

Word Count: 4,862 words)

<- Previous

~~~

A lovely weekend afternoon and all was friendly inside the Wayne Manor. Tea had long since been poured and sipped from small cups. Conversations continued to flow. Everyone was civil, even over tea.

Not one mention of sharing secrets or punishments. No hints either.

Two households spending an afternoon together. Only the afternoon.

However, Dick and yourself were determined to have more than an hour.

It’s almost weird being here with my guardian again. You thought as you sat on the edge of a couch cushion. It feels like forever.

A smile lit up Dick’s face as he sat opposite from you, sitting on the ottoman.

Despite what had happened over the past couple of weeks, you were okay.

It was a comfort to be back inside the manor. Even with all its vastness and unknown areas, you found it homey.

Today’s not the day he’ll get to show me the music room. He hasn’t said much about it. Maybe another day.

One more week of school was left before summer break. Such a tease.

Between you and Dick sat the coffee table with a pile of puzzle pieces on top. Ones you had seen countless times before.

What better way to have more time together than working on a jigsaw puzzle? It was something you two had been eager to do when brainstorming on an activity over the phone. So you had brought over one of your own. Quite happily too.

Tea and snacks were gone.

Teamwork was in action. Only the pair of you.

Picking out any edge pieces, you set them aside to be put together first. It was a good starting point. If you wanted to get fancy then you’d separate by shape and color next.

You peered up and saw Dick’s curious expression.

“I have a system,” you stately firmly.

“I can see that.” Dick watched as your fingers worked across the table in quick succession. “Let me know when you want me to help.”

“Just jump in there,” you encouraged. “There’s a thousand pieces. It shouldn’t take us too long.”

“There’s a thousand,” he urged.

“It’s less than five thousand.”

“That’s true.” He inched closer.

You smiled at him. “Have you done a five thousand piece puzzle before?”

Blue eyes glanced up. “Have you ever put together a puzzle upside down?”

“No. The blood would rush to my head.”

“What? No.” Dick chuckled. “The puzzle.”

“Oh.”

You felt as head rose up your neck.

Of course that’s what he meant.

“Uh, that’s a ‘no’.”

Leaning in, Dick whispered, “I have and it wasn’t my idea.”

“I think I can guess who’s.”

He raised both eyebrows for a second of acknowledgement. A faint grin soon following suit.

Why on Earth would Mister Wayne think of completing a puzzle with its picture down in the first place? You thought to yourself.

As if reading your expression clearly, most likely, Dick shrugged.

“Was it fun?” You handed him a corner piece.

“Uh.” He glanced over to Mister Wayne beside you. “You might call it, uh, mental exercise.”

“Okay.” You bit back a grin.

The two of you shuffled through more small pieces. Rearranging them; almost how Mister Wayne and Dick traded seats so the puzzle could be tackled form either side of the table.

Around you, the adults were in midst of small talk. Again.

Honestly, you tuned them out. Mostly. They were right next to you after all. It was more as if their words were fading in and out of your ears like the tide. A skill, you could perhaps call it, after years of trying to focus on tasks while others made noise or moved about. It was still difficult to do.

Moving the jigsaw pieces to designated areas of a table came as familiar motions, almost automatic. Hand-eye coordination keeping up as you spotted edge pieces. Easy and quick movements. Too quick in fact.

Your fingers plucked your soulmate’s fingers on accident.

“Oops! Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

Making light of the situation, you grabbed his hand and shook it. “Hey, how are you?”

Dick chuckled, “I’m fine.”

Along the couch and all so familiar, the shaking of soft laughter filled the space. Unrestrained and genuine reactions.

The smile you shared with Dick was all the more joyful. Admittedly one of your favorite sights on any day. Because he was your friend, of course.

You released his hand and rapidly shifted through more pieces.

When you took a peek, you saw a silly grin remaining on Dick’s face as he searched for pieces to sort or piece together.

A flutter of what you deemed as ‘proud satisfaction’ appeared in your chest at the sight.

You could get used to that; making Dick smile.

I might not be a hero, but making someone happy still means a lot. It’s a special kind of reward.

Together, the pair of you made progress by connecting all of the edge pieces. Just as planned. A great team so far.

One of the best teammates I’ve ever had. In general. Lucy is still number one for saving me during that presentation. Eh, you practically shuttered at the merely remembering. Never again. This is a hundred times easier.

The day, so far, had gone smoothly. Sure, the first couple of minutes had you uneasy with anxious fears of possible scenarios involving your guardian’s recent choices. Those fears were real and highly unlikely to become reality inside the Wayne Manor.

Greetings had been cheerful and polite.

You, however, did hold back from hugging your soulmate in front of your guardian. Unfortunately with them there, you weren’t comfortable enough to show much affection to Dick. It was as if an itch covered your skin underneath a microscope. Quite uncomfortable.

But they can’t comment much about us working on a puzzle, you thought in confidence.

With a small click, you separated two pieces that did not fit together.

That’s weird how it does that in the box. You squinted at another set of pieces.

“(Y/N), sit up straight.” Your guardian tapped your shoulder.

Your body did as instructed automatically.

Flashing of something negative passed through your soulmate bond.

A sharpness in Dick’s eyes hardened his features as he looked passed you to your guardian. Targeted and unhidden. A disliking of the order given to you. His reaction was not backed by seeking fairness, but rather something more.

You were unsure of Dick’s thoughts, but you definitely knew your own.

Uh. How am I supposed to reach, then? I’m not gonna sit on the floor.

Keeping your wits about you, you chose not to reply. Play it safe and smart.

On the coffee table, the puzzle was ignored as Dick slowly unclenched his fists.

Is he okay?

Reaching across the surface, you lightly touched his hand.

Upon gaining Dick’s attention, you mouthed, ‘Are you okay?’

He nodded briefly and gave your fingers a squeeze.

Hmmm. That was quite the look though. He might still be irritated with my guardian, I guess.

Both you and Dick slowly pulled your hands a part.

“It took our combined efforts, but his sister agreed to host at her apartment.” Your guardian announced in triumph. “She finished decorating just last week. She should be proud to share her new space.”

Share? More like show off.

“That’s lovely,” Mrs. Cooper commented politely.

You could had snorted with a laugh.

“The plan is for it to be late in the summer. That way some of us don’t have to worry about our vacation plans.”

At your guardian’s words, you felt a wave of panicked guilt. You had forgotten something.

“(Y/N) and I leave Gotham City during their summer break.”

“What? When do you leave?” Dick asked quickly.

“I forgot,” you muttered and completely slouched forward over your knees.

Of all things to forget. You thought and scrambled to remember details off of your calendar at home.

“Three days after the end of school. So, I have two free days. I think it’s Saturday when we leave.” You looked up in thought and turned to check with your guardian.

“It’s Saturday.” They confirmed. “We’ll have to beat the traffic. You’ll have to get up early like a school day.”

Turning back to face Dick, you mouthed a very unenthusiastic, ‘Yay’.

Gaze softer, unsure, Dick glanced at Mister Wayne before returning to you.

“Will I be able to see you before you leave?” Your soulmate asked tentatively.

An almost clenching in your chest left you hiding your equally uneasy thought of disappointment and separation.

“Oh, I’m sure you two can see each other,” your guardian said before they directed their attention back to Mrs. Cooper. “It’s such a lovely little house my cousin has. There’s a porch and screen doors.”

Beside you, Mister Wayne leaned towards the coffee table.

“I’ll arrange a day for you two.” Mister Wayne said in a hushed tone.

Dick and yourself exchanged hopeful smiles.

I guess we don’t have to worry about anything. You thought. But it shouldn’t be too bad. It’s not forever. But I somehow forgot about the beach house? We went last year too. Way to be last minute!

You felt ridiculous.

Everything would be all right, you were certain. Meanwhile, you felt a distress in yourself and within your soulmate.

You just dearly hoped Dick had not started planning out the summer with your company in mind. You would surely feel guilty then.

Luckily, and hopefully, him reading your essay would entertain him. Dick held a curious excitement about it. As in, he had rushed to store the papers in his room upon you handing it to him when you arrived.

At least you knew Dick wouldn’t misplace it.

And to think I was going to give him my essay after the school year was over. You sighed quietly. Everything’s fine.

Time trudged by. Sneaking every tick and tock as jigsaw pieces were assembled. The coffee table decorated in color and multiple piles of lonely pieces.

Dick and yourself were making progress with the puzzle. Happily shifting the pieces around. Content to work together.

“All right,” you guardian directed their attention to you. “Find a stopping point. We still have to pick up a few things.”

“Oh. Okay.” Your shoulders dropped.

“We have a couple of hours before my parents are expecting us.”

“Oh.” You dropped a puzzle piece.

I forgot! Gosh, where’s my mind lately?

Looking over the unfinished puzzle, you were stumped.

“Um…” You scratched your arm absentmindedly. “Can we move it?”

“If we’re careful.”

“Move it where?” Mrs. Cooper inquired.

“My room.” Dick answered with a tilt of his head.

“It’ll fall a part,” your guardian interjected.

“Not if we slide the finished pieces onto a board.” Mister Wayne countered.

“Then we can move it any where,” Dick announced excitedly. “Great idea, Bruce.”

You smiled and it only widened when Dick glanced your way before immediately ducking his head.

“We can take care of that later. Another time, the two of you can resume where you left off.” Mister Wayne added.

“Fantastic.” Your guardian clapped their hands once before standing from the couch. “Thank you so much for the tea.”

“It was our pleasure.” Mister Wayne said as he joined Mrs. Cooper and your guardian standing. He sidestepped to be beside the furniture.

If it wasn’t for your reflexes and leaning back, your guardian would had completely pushed passed your seated form.

Whoa. It’s like trying not to get hit by a train’s caboose. You thought.

“Let’s go, (Y/N).” Said your guardian who was half way to the door with the other adults.

“Like the wind.” You exaggerated lightly and stood to your feet. Stretching your back a little.

In no exaggeration at all, Dick waited to walk you out. All gentlemanly and hiding a secret smile.

“What?” You smoothed down any wrinkles on your clothes.

“You.”

“What about me?”

“The expression you made,” he whispered, “when you guardian walked by.”

“Oops.”

Dick smiled openly as his fingers brushed your own.

“Will you work on the puzzle during the summer?” You asked and linked your pinky finger with his discreetly.

“Not without you.”

“You could. I wouldn’t mind.”

“I’ll wait.”

“Me too.”

✧ ✧ ✧

A week of school had come and gone. The end of the school year had finally passed.

Good news for many.

With warm weather more prominent, people of Gotham City enjoyed it wholeheartedly.

For Dick Grayson, it was the day. A day to spend with his soulmate, his good friend and crush.

Yet the youth had to wait.

The batmobile zoomed down a familiar road.

Bonding would have to wait.

The dynamic duo were solving a case as swiftly as possible. Thankfully there was still time. The criminal’s hideout would be their last stop.

Lest they’d be scolded by Aunt Harriet upon their return to the manor.

We’re gonna catch ‘em, Robin thought in determination. We’ll be sure to make it quick too. He hit his palm. They won’t know what hit them.

✧ ✧ ✧

Sitting at the edge of your bed, quiet kept you company. Also Sir Hopps, your loyal blue bunny companion.

Comforting sunshine warmed your toes as the curtains remained pushed aside.

Since midmorning, you had been aware of the muffled juggling of emotions from your soulmate. You deemed it safe to assume that Dick was busy wearing green and red.

Is it okay that he keeps getting annoyed? You couldn’t help but to smirk at the thought of his little pout. It’s better than being scared or mad. He must be fine though.

Maybe your closeness with him gave you the thought, the possible explanation. The sneak peek into his specific feelings.

Dick is probably getting impatient. I hope he knows I don’t mind waiting a little longer. We’re just going to the park…not an event or anything. You thought with a quick glance to the clock. Or maybe he can’t wait?

A quiet sigh left you.

Both yourself and Sir Hopps observed the empty luggage bag sitting near the closet. A handwritten list sat atop of it; a reminder of the summer trip ahead of you. One full of sand, water, and almost a full house of people. No visits to the homey Wayne Manor. If luck was on your side, you might have a phone call to your soulmate.

Even without school, he could still be busy. But at least none of us have homework! You thought and stuck your tongue out at the paper remanences of your last semester. It’s summertime!

✧ ✧ ✧

“Don’t they know they have the whole summer to talk over lunch?” Aunt Harriet voiced from behind the steering wheel of her car.

“I suppose.” Dick tapped his fingers along the passenger side’s door. The youthful ward had only. Been out of his costume for a little over fifteen minutes.

“It’s such a pretty day too.”

“Thank you, Aunt Harriet, for offering to drive us to the park.”

“You’re welcome, Dick.” She smiled and soon added, “To be honest, I really wanted to see (Y/N) before they leave for the entire summer. Oh, I know you must be so disappointed.”

Shoulders slumping, Dick sighed.

“The summer vacations always pass quickly. You’ll see them again in no time.”

“I know.”

Out of the window, Dick recognized a familiar figure.

“I see them.” He announced happily.

“Goodness,” Aunt Harriet had already turned on the turn signal. “Don’t jump out of the car, Dick.”

“I won’t.”

Sparks and bubbles of joy filled his chest. The best feeling he had all day. Personally. Well worth the wait and punches he exchanged earlier.

How will I feel when I see them after summer vacation? Dick thought as the car pulled into the residential area. Happy for sure…or maybe surprised because it’ll feel like forever. Golly, knowing your soulmate is really something else.

A click of a door opening gave Dick another jolt of positive emotions.

“Hi, Mrs. Cooper,” you slid into the backseat and closed the door.

“Hi, dear. I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

“No. It’s all right.” You buckled yourself in before tapping the back fo the passenger’s seat. “Hi, Dick.”

“Hi.” The youthful ward sent his soulmate a wide smile. “How are you?”

“Pretty good. What about you? Are you letting Mrs. Cooper pick the radio station today?”

“He is.”

Aunt Harriet focused on her driving. Safe as always.

Gotham City held many sights and places. Tall and even the easily ignored. Traffic moved steadily.

The car was parked near somewhere close by the park.

Upon exiting the vehicle, Aunt Harriet grabbed a book she brought along to read and Dick grabbed your hand.

Holding your hand had become a habit he did not expect. He liked it of course, very much so. It was a simple gesture on the surface with much unspoken feelings beneath.

This is real different than the first time we held hands, Dick thought. That was the first time we actually met! At least we haven’t been in that situation again—with Penguin. Things would be a little different now.

A gentle squeeze on his hand and he turned his attention to his soulmate. Curious eyes watching him, never judgmental or uncaring.

“How has your day been so far?” You asked.

Oh, Dick had to think of a clever answer. Nothing too close to his masked persona. Nothing too heavily a lie. He didn’t like giving you an excuse.

“Fine. Bruce and I did get caught up in conversations with others, which is why I’m sorry for being late to pick you up.”

“It’s not a problem. We’re still here, aren’t we?”

“We are.”

“Then we’re fine. Your aunt gets to read her book and we get to wander around the park with no worries.”

No worries, Dick thought, yes. It keeps getting better. He sent you an easy smile. Who knew I’d be holding hands with my soulmate?

The pair of you walked on, in no rush or going in any specific direction. Cloud cover protected eyes from the brightest of the sun’s rays. A slight breeze kept you both comfortable. The perfect day off.

Less than a day to spend time together.

That was not something Dick wanted to be reminded of.

All the schoolwork, studying, your ridiculous punishment and you two can’t be together during the summer. It could be considered unfair. Dick surely was ill-prepared for the news.

I’ll miss quiet moments with them too, whether we’re working on something or not. He thought as he looked at the grass ahead of their path.

“Your knuckles are a little red.” You muttered, eyes downcast. “Did you accidentally hit a wall or something?”

No, he thought, I missed the crook and the wall, but I didn’t miss the metal tray.

“Yeah,” he answered, “but not a wall.”

“Oh, good. Because that hurts…especially if your hand was moving fast.”

He tried reading your face and asked, “Have you hit a wall?”

Holding his hand between both of yours, your shoulders raised defensively. “It was an accident. I was just walking out of the bathroom, turned too quickly, and BAM.”

“Today?”

“No,” you answered almost playfully.

“Yesterday?”

“…Yes.”

“Are you okay?”

“Sure. I’ve had worse.”

Dick stopped walking, alarm rising in his chest.

Worse? What happened? Was that before we met?

You held his hand under your chest, looking at him in slight panic.

“No, no, no,” you said quickly, “I meant hitting my funny bone or my toe against a table. It’s okay. I mean…sure I’ve gotten hurt before, but who hasn’t? Something minor.”

Exhaling slowly eased his new worries.

“I’m sorry.”

“No,” he shook his head. “I overreacted a little.”

“Teeny tiny bit.”

Of course you knew, you felt Dick’s emotions before he could keep them in check.

They’re fine at home. They’re fine now.

“Come on,” you tugged on his hand. “I promise I’m not that clumsy. I’ve never dropped my textbooks while tripping.”

“That’s good.” Dick couldn’t help but to smile.

The two of you begun walking again. A breeze to your side. Feet walking in step of the other’s. Keeping a distance from other park visitors.

“Charlotte tripped the other day leaving math.” You mentioned casually.

“Is she alright?”

“Yeah…I caught her with my backpack…or rather she caught herself on my backpack on me at the doorway.”

“…Okay.” Dick cracked a smile at your thoughtful gaze.

“School’s weird.”

“Don’t let Bruce hear you say that.”

Twisting around, you started walking backwards. “But it’s true. Not just the social stuff. We learn things in a classroom and then go home to do more on our own. Then the next thing we know, it’s the end of the school year and all I have are tons of notes and bags under my eyes.”

“But we learned a lot.”

“Sure, but do I physically have anything from the results? Like a plant or,” you gestured widely, “a new skill or a project that will help others and the environment for years to come?”

“You could still do those things if you want.”

“If I have the time…or actually remember.” You mumbled, “I didn’t remember about the beach house.”

A weighty, almost cool, feeling came through the soulmate bond. One Dick recognized from moments where he thought he didn’t try hard enough as Robin when it counted. It always mattered to him.

Dick watched as you dragged your shoes through the grass. Crestfallen and too critical of yourself.

The urge to make you fell better took hold of him. To be there for you. No obstacle in his way, only to find the right words. Hopefully.

“There’s a bright side,” stated Dick.

“No school?”

“Right. And no Gotham City events with lots of people.”

He smiled victoriously when you perked up at his words. His pacing kept him closer to you, still backwards in your movements.

“No dinner parties where you don’t know half of the guests. No essays or homework.”

Surging warmth of his own emotions cycled between you both.

“You don’t even have to carry a pile of books if you don’t want to.”

“Okay, okay, okay.” You swung his hand with yours around in the air. “I just wished I would’ve remembered to tell you.”

“But then you would’ve had to tell me instead of your guardian announcing it like the best holiday of the year.”

“Oh, yeah.”

He had found the right words.

You stopped walking and Dick joined you easily. The breeze moving the nearby trees carried murmurs of others. None of which he paid much mind to because he focused on you. Giving you his honesty.

“Even though I wish we could spend more time together; I know you’ll have fun at the beach. It might not be Gotham City’s or have good waves, but you’ll have the opportunity to relax.”

A curve of your lips held promises to your future vacation.

“Not gonna lie,” you reached up with a hand for a moment and tucked a loose strand of Dick’s hair back in place.

He swallowed.

“I’m really looking forward to sleeping through most of the morning.”

“Right.”

That breeze feels really good right now, he thought as heat creeped up his neck.

“So, uh, what do you like to do at the beach?” He asked and wondered if they should walk around more. Then perhaps you wouldn’t notice him overheating.

“Besides playing in the water.” Your gaze wandered as you thought. “Eating ice cream and bird watching.”

“Which ones do they have there? Birds, I mean.”

“Usually mourning doves, cattle egrets, and seagulls.”

“Cattle egrets?”

“They’re mostly white, maybe with a little yellow and they eat insects and some times stand on the backs of cows.”

“Bruce takes me bird watching some times.” He said, keeping his free hand by his side still unsure of what to do with it.

“My guardian doesn’t really care for it, but everyone usually watches movies on the television.” You shrugged and circled your thumb around his knuckles. “I hope they’re better than last year.”

Partially distracted by your touches, Dick almost stumbled on his words upon asking, “Who stays at the beach house with you?”

“Charlotte and her mom will definitely be there. I’m not sure if Charlotte’s older cousin is going again. She’s kind of loud.”

“It’ll be fun with your friend there.”

“Yeah. Charlotte’s fun to be around. Some times I wonder why teachers haven’t separated us.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“We’re not being disruptive. We just…fully support each other when there’s a debate in English class.

Nodding, Dick tried his best to keep in his wide grin. Imagining you being bold in your words in class, for your friend, could not have made him more proud. You were strongly loyal.

“I’m pretty sure you’d do the same.” You smirked knowingly.

Hit with the intensity of your gaze, Dick looked away. He knew you were right, but the point was you knew.

Do they know me that well already?

A sudden drop of emotions, however muffled, pulled in his stomach.

Blue eyes peered up.

Something held your gaze.

“Darn it,” you whispered.

Glancing over his shoulder, Dick saw his aunt waving them over. A book in one hand. Above her, far into the sky, large clouds more grey than when you all arrived. All signs to leave the park.

Heaviness in his heart kept him in place, familiar and unwanted.

Don’t feel upset or sad, Dick thought as his gaze returned to you. They’re going on vacation. Heck, they deserve it!

Truly, Dick Grayson was happy for you. The emotions spun in him somewhere amongst the sea of disheartenment.

But that was life, wasn’t it?

“Ready, Mister Grayson?”

“W-what?”

Releasing his hand, you linked your arm with his and offered a smile. The forced delicate curve of your lips distracted Dick from the inevitable. For a second.

A gentle nudge to his side and Dick walked with you towards the end of your outing.

I thought we’d have more time.

Building higher together, the afternoon clouds formed even grayer. Turning into storm clouds as they rolled into the city.

Do they have to go home right now?

Around him, across the green lawn, people wandered or scurried with gazes trained skyward. Ordinary people and citizens of Gotham City going about their lives.

How many citizens have gotten close to their soulmate, but never met? How many people know their soulmate, but just don’t know!

Fingers squeezed his arm before holding firmly.

We could’ve had the whole summer.

The pair of you reached his Aunt Harriet and followed her lead. Back in the car, Dick gave no mind to the passenger’s seat. Soulmates sitting as close as seatbelts allowed in the back of the car.

Your fingers traced soft patterns on his forearm while Dick clenched his hands at his sides.

“I’ll be back,” you whispered into his shoulder. “I promise.”

Clicks of the vehicle’s turn signal no longer added a grin to the ward’s face.

I don’t like these feelings. He thought as you moved away from his side.

Car in park, Aunt Harriet looked into the backseat. “Alright, dear. Have a wonderful vacation.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Cooper,” you said as you unbuckled your seatbelt. “You too.”

Smiling fondly she said, “You can call me Aunt Harriet.”

Your eyes widened and a warmth coated your heart.

Dick smiled as you did. Earnest and bittersweet.

Leaning over the center console, you kissed her cheek. “Bye, Aunt Harriet.”

The older woman chuckled. “Good bye.”

As you slid out of the car, Dick Grayson followed. Not wanting to waste a second.

His close proximity didn’t surprise you, not after the ride back to where you lived. It did allow the pair of you to hug immediately. A tight embrace desperately trying to ignore the concept of time and knowledge of distance.

It’s just a few weeks.

Dick reluctantly lowered his arms as you pulled away.

“Have fun, okay?” You kissed his cheek.

Comforting warmth blossomed from your lips into his skin. He closed his eyes from the soft familiarity.

“I will.” Dick looked to you adoringly and said, “I hope you have fun every day.” He pressed his lips to your cheek briefly. Upon seeing the surprised look in your eyes, he smiled. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too.” Voice quiet and eyes full of wonder, you remained still. Hands somewhere between intertwined and fiddling.

The young ward did not know what to make of his nor your actions. He did know you both could not remain outside forever.

“Go get packing. I still need to read your essay.” Dick nudged you ever so slightly.

One last smile and on you went. Heading back indoors to prepare for the beach.

No farewells exchanged.

No eager waving.

There was, however, a strong belief that you would have fun and gain needed rest.

Meanwhile for young Dick Grayson there would likely be a busy summer ahead wearing a mask and cape. Until he saw his soulmate again, he would help keep the city safe. And maybe have a little fun while doing it.

~~~

Best wishes and happy reading.)

(If you love my writings and want to support me, I have a Ko-Fi where you can buy me a coffee. I would be eternally grateful.

coffee

~~~~~

DreamerDragon Tags: @

DC Tags: @

Dick Grayson Taglist: @projectdreamwalker

**Let me know if you would like to be tagged in insert readers, either through replies, ask, or message.**

#dick grayson x reader #soulmate au #60s robin #dick grayson #batman tv series #where dreamers go #dick grayson fluff #dick grayson imagine

[shrekgogurt]

Well folks. I’m on my substitute teaching grind again this week! Scheduled each day up in hopes of getting some good writing done. I did on Monday! And then proceeded to finally start reading @ninemagicks Game/Set/Match yesterday and did that every bell so uhhhhhh. Today………..well ummmmm…..yeah today I worked on chapter graphics because I’m in big procrastination mode. I want to keep riding this wave of engagement (that sounds corporate gross) but I’m also very much in my head about delivering. I should probably channel this energy into writing the chapter since such pressure is Baz’s literal arc but uhhhhhhhh why do that when I could Simon avoid. I love being mentally well!

One might say I need to find my own bravado. (more under the cut)

lol the chapter title for 13 is bravado by lorde

ok anyway

“Work In Progress Wednesday” right? That means I can talk about the progress of every part of the process? Huh? Yeah? Are you gonna stop me? TRY! TRY TO STOP ME!

Aggression aside, let’s get into it.

As previously stated on Sunday, we find ourselves at intermission. But that’s just the theatrical way of slicing up the story. The fun thing about 24 chapters (I got rid of my originally planned intermission chapter because I didn’t want to write it anymore) is that math really loves the number 24. It’s scrumptious. Yummily divisible. Ergo, IKABIKAM also has/is/will be deliciously divided. Afterall, I do keep saying I’m cooking on it.

Now, to put @alexalexinii on blast (sorry for perceiving you), they wrote in the tags of a Chapter 12 reblog: #made me realise that this fic had proper arcs? And I grinned. I cackled. I rubbed my grubby little hands together at the top of my tower as I’ve been doing this whole time because oh ARCS???????? YOU WANT ARCS???????????? I’VE GOT ARCS LYING IN WAIT LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE. (I love overselling myself.)

Allow me to let you in on some of the building blocks thus far.

Chapters 1, 2, 3: a complicated reunion which is shaky but ultimately sets up

Chapters 4, 5, 6: developing the friendship which is a crucial foundation for

Chapters 7, 8, 9: the gay (Baz’s increasingly more external “hi i’m gay”, Simon’s internal “oh wait me too”) which then explodes into

Chapters 10, 11, 12: all that political parent stuff that’s been hinted at in passing which is BIG relevant and incredibly intertwined in this tangled up mess that leads into the work of….

You get it. They’re mini trilogies. Don’t ask me about dividing the chapters into groups of four because I didn’t have that in mind while writing. I like threes better. Always have. Absolute banger of a prime number.

If you for some reason want to read more about the structure, I write a little more about it in this wipsday from when I was procrastinating 9.

Now, @cutestkilla keeps telling me I’m at the downward slope now but honestly delivering on what I’ve set up scares the shit out of me WAY more than the grunt work. I’m uhhhhh yeah. This is why I’m chronically unable to finish projects but by GOD I will finish this one. I swear by it.

So here are three sentences. You get to guess from who and when.

Loving him comes as naturally as breathing. It’s intuitive when I’m not thinking. Or rather, when I’m not panicking.

If you want to follow along with all the songs I’m hyperfixating on as inspiration I’ve been sharing them over on the “shrogurt” instagram. There’s nothing I love more than talking way too much about this damn fic. Thanks for reading!

And thank you for the tags today: @nausikaaa @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @artsyunderstudy @prettygoododds @emeryhall

Now tagging: @brilla-brilla-estrellita @captain-aralias @dani-vc @ebbpettier @excalisbury @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @hagnoart @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @imagineacoolusername @ivelovedhimthroughworse @j-nipper-95 @larkral @letraspal @martsonmars @messofthejess @moodandmist @mooncello @nightimedreamersworld @onepintobean @palimpsessed @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @theearlgreymage @theimpossibledemon @thewholelemon @valeffelees @whogaveyoupermission @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

#as i was typing this an eighth grader started singing that jack harlow song help #wipsday #ikabikam #vainposting #Youtube

[roosterbruiser]

!! life update and face reveal incoming !!

we're doing a bullet point system!

had my very first one night stand. honestly? less than stellar! but I did it! the guy was kind of a loser, but we all have our things. he did like literally SLAP my tits so hard that I have massive bruises there now and I feel like that was a weird move bc we'd known each other for a grand total of about 10 minutes when we started having sex? anyway, it was insane having sex with like a stranger....don't know if I'd do it again, but you live and you learn!

overwhelmed with tinder honestly....I have over 1400 likes and I just......don't have it in me to do anything about them. but turns out I'm very good at flirting! and I'm also funny! was thinking about posting some screenshots of funny exchanges and labeling which ones are which member of the Dagger Squad! heh!

randomly matched with my ex (the one I was with from 14-17) on tinder and then we started talking and then we just........didn't stop? and like every single night since we started talking again, we've stayed up until 4am talking. what has shocked me the most is that we're getting along better now than we ever have before? and not to mention, he has like actually really apologized about things. not even just a blanket apology either--like a thorough one where he detailed things he did and told me that he was sorry.

he manages a movie theater so the first time we hung out, he took me to the empty theater (like we were the only two in the building) at like 10PM and we watched the new Evil Dead: Rise. and then the next night we parked at the lake from like 10PM-5AM and just....talked. for hours. about everything and nothing. it was insane! and then the next day, he picked me up for coffee and I met his puppy. we've been texting nonstop since. also he's literally taking me to the theater AGAIN to watch Top Gun: Maverick all by ourselves 😭

so in conclusion....I wanna fuck him. and maybe I'm catching feelings. BUT my sister and I are both very co-dependent people with have attachment issues (but at least we're self-aware) so I've decided to adopt her three month rule. so like, I have to talk to my ex for three months before I decide if I'm going to be in a relationship with him. not that it's going to happen or not but...you know!

the only thing is that I WISH I had more time to sit tf down and write! but I have a really busy weekend! I am so excited that I have so many asks to go through! and on that subject, if you sent me a birthday ask---I just fucking adore you! and KNOW that I saw it and KNOW that it made me giggle and kick my feet! however, I don't want to bombard all my followers with answering like 30 birthday wishes a few days late! BUT I LOVE THAT ALL OF YOU SENT THEM AND I WANNA KISS EVERYONE!

so today, I will be writing a bunch of requests and queuing them! I'm trying to get at least TWO posted today! looks like the next week or two will be dedicated to blurbs! but I can't wait to get back into my regularly scheduled posting! hoping to get that schedule out too!!

I'm really happy right now :)

okay here's my face reveal

be nice to me I'm fragile

#millie has a life outside of here apparently #and it still involved Top Gun: Maverick #miss all of you more than words can say!!! #and I can't wait to be more active on here again!!!! #yeehaw!!! #they say no one likes you when you're 22 #but that can't be true

[southpawbitch]

Busy | Rhett Abbott x Reader

Masterlist (this is part FIVE; read the others here)

word count: 1.7k

summary: rhett ends things (feels like a spoiler, but c'mon guys...what did you think was going to happen?)

warnings: mentions of cheating, maria, reader has an alarm set to take birth control

A/N: so as promised, here's the next part! i don't super love it...i was trying very hard to avoid them having this convo, but i really needed a transition because the next part will be a time skip! lightly edited (i'm a working gal). hope u enjoy!!! x MJ

Rhett’s nervous as he stands at your door, fiddling with his thumbs that are wrapped tightly around the small bouquet of wildflowers he picked up at the farmer’s market a half-hour ago. He wasn’t sure what his plan was for today–just that he had to see you–and when he saw these flowers, he couldn’t not get them for you. Maybe it’s because of his growing feelings towards you over the past year, or the guilt that he can’t seem to shake, but he’s here to make things right with you–for good. 

You’re sitting on the couch avoiding real life by immersing yourself into the fictional world of The Nanny where cell phones and cowboys are essentially nonexistent when you hear the knock on the door. You’re surprised Fran’s voice didn’t drown out the sound, but you perk up anyway, turning your head to look out the obscured glass in the wooden door. You can’t make out much, just that they’re tall, and you assume it’s one of your brothers coming to ask you if you’re alright. You haven’t left the pool house in two weeks, and you only look at your phone when the alarm to take your birth control goes off at 5:55pm each day. 

You pad across the hardwood floor into the small entryway, and pull open the door slightly, revealing Rhett. He’s not smiling, but he is trembling like he’s nervous to be standing on your doorstep. You stand up a little straighter, hoping he can’t tell that you’ve been wearing the same oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts going on four days straight and haven’t washed your hair in the same amount of time. You take a step back, distancing yourself as much as you can while keeping the door slightly closed, not wanting him to see the complete mess you’ve made of your space.

“I’m busy, Rhett.” It feels like a knife to the chest when you say his name. He hasn’t heard it in a while, and you sound less than pleased to see him here at your door. He can’t blame you, though. The last time you saw him, he was cozying up to Maria at The Pit Bar and you were being berated by your fiance for dropping a glass and attracting the attention of the entire building. He assumes that’s why you’ve been holed up for weeks. He heard Katie and Jade talking about trying to get you to come out with them when he was at The Handsome Gambler yesterday. It makes him sick to think he could be the reason for it all. And he knows he is. The list of reasons for his unexpected visit keep growing the longer he thinks about it.

“We need to talk.” He’s not asking, and he’s not buying your lame excuse. Clearly, you’re not busy. You’re the only one home–period. Every truck is gone from the main driveway, and he saw your mom at the farmer’s market. On top of that, It’s not like you to distance yourself from everyone and everything. At least, he doesn’t think it is. He’s worried about more than one thing at the moment, and it would be a lot easier if you’d just relax and let him in. “I-I got you these.” He stutters slightly, holding out the small bouquet of flowers towards you like a peace offering.

You honestly didn’t even notice the multicolored bundle of flowers in his hands before this moment–you were too wound up from seeing him for the first time since that night. A shiver goes down your spine as you accept them, reluctantly dropping your hand from the door handle and retreating back into your house for a vase to keep them in. 

Rhett lets himself in behind you, noticing the state of your place. He’s never seen the pool house in such disarray. Mail that hasn’t been sorted through or opened is strewn across the entry table, shoes litter the hallway, and as he gets into the living area, he sees it’s not much better. There are glasses sitting on nearly every surface, along with a growing collection of empty wine bottles on the counter. Your favorite mindless TV show plays in the background, and a bundle of blankets and pillows are piled on the sofa. He stops in between the living room and the kitchen, watching you put water in a vase he made during a pottery class he took with Amy for her birthday six months ago. 

“Are you gonna talk, or what?” You ask, not bothering to look up from what you’re doing, placing the flowers in the vase, arranging them nicely as they sit in the middle of the counter.

“I’m sorry about Maria, but–” Your head snaps up and you make eye contact with him. He can see the tears already forming in your eyes, and he has to admit it’s a bit much for him. He’s never been good with negative emotions, especially when other people are the one experiencing them on account of him. “You’re engaged…I-I can’t keep stringin’ you along like this.” He wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans and keeps distance between the two of you. You’re just staring at him with those big, doe eyes. A single tear falls down your cheek, and admittedly, he wants to pull you into him and wipe it away and make it all better, but the two of you being together only causes chaos–no matter how right it may feel, it’s one-hundred percent wrong. 

You know his words are true, but you’ve been desperately trying to sweep your reality under the rug and live in this dream world you created when you started sleeping with him. It was all so innocent at first. He hadn’t really ever thought of you as someone he could be with, and you were living out a high school fantasy. It felt like playing pretend. You never imagined you’d actually fall for him, and you’re not sure how you’ll ever be able to stop. Now, he’s standing in front of you, admitting that he’s the one stringing you along–like he knows you have real feelings for him that he can’t reciprocate. Maybe it’s still just a fun, little game for him. Maybe his feelings haven’t changed since that first time. Maybe they never will. 

“You brought me flowers to tell me that?” You cross your arms over your chest as you stand on the other side of the counter. It hurts to hear him say what you probably should’ve known all along. You knew it wouldn’t last forever, but you never thought it would end like this. You thought you’d slowly stop wanting to see him after the thrill of what you were doing wore off, but that never happened. A hint of something you’d probably call ‘love’ lingers in the air when the two of you are together, but you’re not dumb enough to call it that. Not anymore, at least.

“I think you know how I feel about you, but it’s not fair for either of us. It’s not fair for Ben…or Maria.”

Your mouth opens to respond, but instead of allowing her name to spill out of your mouth angrily, you laugh dryly. Do you know how he feels about you? “You say that like you’re dating her.” 

And then he’s quiet, which confirms that your petty response is true. Whatever him and Maria had all those years ago must still be there. There are so many things you want to say to him right now. You want to remind him what she did in high school and that their entire relationship was built on that lie. You want to remind him that it didn’t work out the first time, and ask him what he thinks will be different this time, but you don’t. You can’t. He’s right about one thing. It wouldn’t be fair for you to criticize his relationship. You’re the one that’s supposed to be getting married. He doesn’t owe you anything. It’s a tough pill to swallow.

“I wanted you to hear it from me first, but I’m leaving.”  

“Yeah, okay.” You roll your eyes, turning your head to look out the glass doors that lead to the pool. You can’t look at him any longer. He can feel the hurt from across the room, but he knows this is the right thing to do. You have to quit each other–this can’t keep happening. He’s doing this for you. You’re just way too stubborn to see that. 

“I’m going to Denver to ride. I just don’t think I can stay here any longer.” What he means is that he can’t stay here and watch you get married to that asshole, but he leaves that part out. He may not like Ben, but the guy is perfect for you. Your family loves him. Your friends are his friends. In all honesty, he can’t compete with that, and he’s not going to. He’s not the marrying type, and he knows that’s what you want–that’s what you’re getting. He’s done getting in the way of it. 

You can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. It’s been a well known fact that Rhett Abbott has always wanted to leave Wabang, but it’s been almost a decade since you graduated high school, and he’s still here. You’re not sure he even has it in him to leave, but you nod your head in understanding, knowing that if you try to speak, more tears might come. It feels like you’ve only been crying because of him these days. Ben’s hurtful actions don’t even seem to phase you anymore, but it’s different coming from Rhett. It’s not even a bad feeling. It’s just genuine emotion. You’re not faking anything when it comes to him. The heartache is real. 

“I think it’s best we put this behind us. I want you to be happy, and I know you’re never gonna be happy with me.” The worst part is that Rhett Abbott truly believes every single word that just came out of his mouth. And you let him leave without correcting him as you watch him walk across the grass to his blue truck, hoping that by next week, he’ll take back everything he said to you today. 

#rhett abbott x reader #rhett abbott #rhett abbot x reader #rhett abbott fanfiction #rhett abbott x you #outer range #outer range fanfic #lewis pullman

[floralseokjin]

⤑ 9 months to fall in love 9.

It seems like everyone around you is either already in love, or in the process of falling, and while normally you couldn’t give a damn, finding out the co-worker you’ve had a teensy crush on is dating someone else at the office seems to sucker punch you right in the gut. It’s stupid, and you’re irritated at yourself, but you can’t seem to shake out of the funk you’ve fallen face first in.

Feeling lonely and heartsore, and mad for no reason, during drinks with your best friend you spot a man at the bar. Tequila confident, you make your way over to the stranger, and successfully one thing leads to another. The next morning you leave before he’s woken up, feeling satisfied in one way, but still as discontented as ever. Telling yourself it was an inebriated mistake, you quickly try to forget about it.

Only, three weeks later that night comes back to haunt you – in a very unescapable way…

pairing; kim seokjin x f reader  au/genre; unplanned pregnancy, strangers to lovers, slow burn, romance (dare I say romcom in places), smut, angst, (melo)drama, dual pov  words; 12,456

warnings/includes (!) Jungkook could flirt with a wall, jealous Seokjin x2, subtle touches, kisses, Oc has Horny Thoughts, way too many thoughts of straddling him – is it hormones or just Seokjin?, a 12-week prenatal appointment, minor weight mentions e.g. hips expanding, boobs getting bigger, Yoonjin interactions, drunk Seokjin, Yoongi the taxi driver 

⟶ ao3 link

*inspired by the manhwa ‘Positively Yours.’ 

↪︎ series index

SEASON TWO ⇤ previous | next ⇥

Phone ready in hand, you were already mentally typing out the text in your head as you approached the AGS building. Seokjin said he would meet you outside at quarter past twelve, but you’d left work too early, or maybe you’d just walked exceptionally fast today. Either way, it was only 12:10 and you were here. 

But so was he. 

As you got closer to the entrance, you recognised his figure leaning against the building. His long legs were crossed at the ankles, his hands casually dug inside the pocket of his black slacks. On top he was wearing a blue button up shirt which strained impressively over his shoulders. He wasn’t wearing a tie, you realised slowly, and the first two buttons were loose, revealing a small triangle of skin. Maybe he’d taken it off for lunch. 

He was looking out across the street, but as you approached, he turned his head, noticing you before greeting you with the biggest, most breath-taking smile. Your knees felt weak and your stomach fizzed. A similar feeling to drinking too much soda too fast. Was this what it would be like now? It was a few days after you’d spontaneously rushed over to his apartment and apologised. A few days after you’d shared a kiss – or kisses, plural. You hadn’t seen him in person since, but you’d messaged back and forth every day, and he’d called you every evening. 

You’d always been aware of how good-looking Seokjin was, you weren’t blind to his objective beauty, but now that awareness had been heightened to almost unbearable levels. You even felt a little coy as you smiled back, coming to a halt beside him. “I was just about to text you.” 

He lifted himself off the wall, his smile turning crooked, his tone teasing when he responded. “I’ve been stood out here for ten minutes.” You scoffed quietly and slipped your phone back inside your purse. “You look pretty.” 

The casualness of his statement threw you for a moment, but it didn’t stop your face from feeling all hot and prickly. Before you could reply however, he asked how you were. 

“Nervous. Sweating. But that could be because it’s pretty hot out,” you replied honestly, lifting your cardigan by its sides to fan it about, hoping to catch some breeze. It was still spring but the weather was turning. 

Seokjin laughed. “I already told you there’s nothing to be nervous about. Come on.” He pulled a hand out of one pocket to gesture you to follow him inside. “Jungkook isn’t here yet anyway, so you’ll only have to deal with Hoseok for now. He’s the normal one out of the three of us.” 

You pulled an uncertain face but started walking. You had agreed to meet his friends after all. You just hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Your nerves had been made worse when you’d found out you’d be having lunch inside Seokjin’s building. Namjoon had been kind enough to grant you an extra hour, shaking his head in mock disproval. “You’re using these boss-friend privileges left and right lately.”

Speaking of work, Sera’s permanent absence was wonderful. The best part was she’d seemed to have taken Seokjin’s warning seriously and disappeared off the face of the earth. Yuna had made you tell the ‘restraining order story’ at least ten times already, embellishing it with her own adlibs and details each time. Things at the office were pretty much back to normal, last week’s blow-up forgotten and your pregnancy conveniently ignored. Almost. You knew a handful of your co-workers were desperate to ask you details, but unfortunately for them, that privilege went to Namjoon only – and Yoongi, slightly. Things with him were still a little awkward, which was to be expected considering everything that had happened, but you were hoping they’d get better. It didn’t stop you from feeling guilty though. You’d bounced back surprisingly easily, and everything seemed to be falling into place for you now, while Yoongi was still very obviously struggling with what had happened. You’d thought about bringing it up with him but in the end stopped yourself. You would bet he didn’t want to dwell on anything, and by continuously talking about it you knew you’d be no help. That, and you wanted to forget about it completely. You wanted to move on with your life and concentrate on you and your baby. And Seokjin… Whatever that meant. 

The front of the AGS building was mostly glass, and from the outside you couldn’t tell how many floors it was. It was quadruple the size of Artkive’s building though, and while that was a refurbished warehouse home to a number of separate businesses, this building was entirely dedicated to all of the different AGS departments. The inside was also vastly different you noticed, as you stepped through the doors, the air con hitting you immediately, cool and refreshing. The office space at work was made up of exposed red brick and half windows, but here the interior was sleek and monochrome, the ceilings sky high. The lobby was filled with people, groups dotted around the couches and chairs to the left of the room, either having casual meetings or friendly chats – maybe both. Very quiet music was playing from speakers in the wall, but you couldn’t make out what. To the right was a long reception desk, which Seokjin made a beeline for. You followed, trying to take everything in, feeling a mixture of overwhelmed and awestruck. This place was impressive and you’d barely stepped foot inside. 

There were a few receptionists behind the desk, some on the phone, some preoccupied with employees and visitors. Seokjin addressed the first available one – a young man maybe in his early twenties with red hair and glasses. “I’m going to take a long lunch, so if anyone wants me, tell them I’ll be done by 2.” 

“Will do, Mr. Kim,” the man smiled, his eyes glancing over at you as Seokjin placed a hand on the small of your back and walked you along. In fact, you could sense quite a few pairs of curious eyes on you as he guided you towards an elevator. You pretended not to notice, smiling friendly at anyone you made eye contact with. 

The fine hairs on the back of your neck pricked up when you heard Seokjin’s voice in your ear. “I don’t have many personal visitors here besides Jungkook. I guess I’ll be the topic of many a conversation today.” 

You chuckled, watching him press for the elevator before meeting his eyes. “Am I your mysterious woman?” 

Were you flirting? You couldn’t tell. 

He looked a little bashful, laughing quietly at your remark. Yet, when he replied, his voice was low and teasing. “It would seem so.”

The doors opened and he motioned for you to step in first. Still feeling a little playful, you realised belatedly that you weren’t Seokjin’s only female guest this week. The father of your baby was going to be the subject of gossip for a little while longer you presumed… But determined not to think of Sera for a second longer – and ever again hopefully – you mentally shook your head and grinned at Seokjin. The elevator was spacious, but he was stood right next to you. 

“Were you sick this morning?” he asked. 

You shook your head. “I woke up feeling queasy, but fingers crossed I’m over the worst of it.” 

Not too long until you hit the second trimester, you were praying that would be the end of your nausea. The sickness had seemed to stop this week, maybe thanks to Seokjin’s googled remedies, but you were still fed up with waking up feeling gross and having to work through it until it eased off around midmorning. Although, at least your appetite hadn’t totally disappeared on you. These past few days you’d been craving spicy food – Yuna had even caught you chewing on a chilli pepper last night. Knowing Glob didn’t have bland taste buds made you feel extra proud. 

When the elevator doors opened, your nerves started to appear again. Logically, you knew there was nothing to be nervous about, but meeting new people outside of the professional sense still freaked you out a little. These were Seokjin’s best friends, their opinion on you mattered. You tried to distract yourself by looking at your surroundings, taking it all in. This floor was almost entirely open planned, walls a bright white, the décor pops of primary colours. There were glass panels separating certain sections, creating workstations, although not one single person was here. The glass was imprinted with the AGS logo – the head of a white alpaca wearing a neckerchief. Seokjin had already told you all about the famous mascot connected with his company – RJ, the main character of the first ever game he’d coded as a teenager. The adorable alpaca had followed him throughout his professional career, even helping with the name of his company – Alpaca Gaming Studios. You thought it was such a sentimental and precious detail, summing up Seokjin perfectly. 

Noticing your stolen attention, Seokjin nudged your shoulder with his. “Maybe after work one day I can give you a tour – when nobody’s around.” 

“Ominous,” you commented, making him laugh. “But yes, I’d love that. This place is amazing.” Side-eying him, you added slyly: “Mr. Kim.” 

He seemed to choke on his own spit for a moment, a hand reaching up to tug at the collar of his shirt before he let out a small laugh. Without realising it, you’d stopped outside a door at the furthest end of the floor. “I thought we’d eat somewhere more comfortable than my office. This floor hardly gets used but the conference room is nice.” 

“Sounds great.” Although, a peek at his office would have been better. 

“I think Hobi’s inside waiting for us.” He paused and you took a steadying breath, freaking out yet again. “Don’t be nervous. On a scale of 1 to Yuna, they’re in the minuses. I promise.” That successfully made you laugh, and his mouth stretched into a smile. “That’s better.” He gripped the handle of the door, but paused before he turned it, glancing at you before speaking in a soft whisper. “Thank you.” 

You found it odd of him to say such a thing, but before you could question it, he was opening the door and stepping inside. A slender man with dark short hair was sitting at the table, scrolling on an iPad, but he snapped his head up as you both stepped inside. 

“Hi.” His smile was big and friendly, and he stood up to make his way towards you. 

Seokjin gestured with his hands. “Hoseok, ____. ____, Hoseok.” 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you managed to say as Hoseok outstretched his hand. His handshake was gentle but firm, hand a little cold.  

“You too.” 

He smiled wider and your mind was tripping over itself to think of things to say, things that alluded to your knowledge of him. Things that Seokjin had told you. You knew that they had been friends ever since they were babies, their families life-long friends. He was dating someone and it was getting serious, even if he didn’t want to admit it out loud. He was the one who kept Seokjin organised and under control, which surprised you, because Seokjin always seemed organised and under control to you. Jungkook was your age, and he and Seokjin had been friends for around 8 years after Jungkook did some work for AGS. He had his own business, a video production company, but annoyingly you couldn’t remember its name. Golden something… Regardless, impressively he had already been a millionaire by 21. He also liked to flirt. Seokjin had warned you in advance, because according to him, Jungkook could successfully flirt with a wall if he put his mind to it. 

“Sit,” Seokjin motioned, interrupting your thoughts and pulling out a chair opposite Hoseok’s. The table was large enough to fit at least twelve, but all three of you occupied one end. You sat, sinking into the plush fabric, as Seokjin took a seat beside you. “Jungkook shouldn’t be long. He’s bringing the food.” 

“He should’ve been here fifteen minutes ago,” Hoseok humphed, making you laugh. Although it sounded unnatural and high-pitched. You realised awkwardly that you were trying too hard. 

You felt Seokjin move closer to you, taking your hand under the table. You jolted, not expecting it, but relaxed as soon as you felt his warm fingers wrap around yours. “You know what he’s like,” he shrugged, addressing Hoseok. 

For the next few minutes, you participated in stunted conversation. Hoseok seemed the friendly type, but it was very obvious he struggled with small talk, or at least felt a little awkward. It occurred to you that even though you felt like the odd one out in this situation, Hoseok might feel that way too. He kept casting glances at you both when Seokjin said something to you or when you laughed together. That realisation comforted you for some reason, and you started to ease up, your interactions becoming more natural. 

Then the door burst open and a man with a mop of black hair appeared. He was dressed casually, all in black, tattoos running down one arm. He didn’t look as though he’d be best friends with the other two men in the room, not that his appearance caused reason for judgement at all. He looked great. In fact, noticing his eyebrow piercing along with his row of ear piercings made you think of Yuna. A few years ago, she’d have eaten someone like him alive. He was just her type until she met and fell head over heels for the sophisticated Jimin. 

“Finally. Took you long enough,” Seokjin said, sounding uncharacteristically annoyed. 

“I got distracted. Haram wanted to chat.” He was holding two bags of food in one hand, the name of a very popular Mexican restaurant printed on them. Your stomach nearly growled in anticipation. 

But wait. Haram? Where did you recognise that name…? Oh. The girl who had answered the phone to you all those weeks ago! You internally cringed when you remembered the awkward memory. 

“’Course she did,” Hoseok said doubtfully, but Jungkook wasn’t listening, his attention now on you as he shot you a bright, eager smile. With his face lit up like that, he looked younger, innocent, not suiting those giant combat boots he had on his feet at all. Wasn’t he boiling to death?! 

“You must be ____.” He stepped closer. 

“That I am.” 

Oh God, why did you say it like that? 

“I’m Jungkook.” His smile turned into something of a smirk. “But I guess you already know that?” 

You raised an eyebrow. He was definitely something. 

“Just give me the food.” Seokjin’s impatient voice cut through the introduction, his hand that had still been holding yours, lifting to reach for the bags. 

“Rude,” Jungkook tutted, handing them over. “Can’t you see I’m trying to introduce myself to the mother of your child?” Seokjin ignored him, starting to place containers of food on the table. Jungkook took the seat next to Hoseok but moved it around the edge of the table, closer to you. “I was beginning to think we’d never get to meet you.” 

Before you could reply, Seokjin was talking again. “How much do I owe you, Kook?” 

“No need. It’s my treat.” 

Seokjin looked cynical. “You never treat.”

“We have a guest! A new member of the gang!” He drummed his hands on top of the table excitedly and it genuinely made you laugh. “____, have you ever seen Three Men and a Baby?” 

“Not this again,” Hoseok sighed. He looked over at you. “I told him to get his own baby.”  

“Hey, uncle privileges.” 

“Kook,” Seokjin warned lowly. “You need to work up to uncle privileges. You’re a stranger.” 

“What? Like you weren’t a stranger to her up until a couple of months ago?”

You couldn’t help it, you snorted loudly, making Seokjin look at you cluelessly. “He has a point,” you laughed, and it wasn’t long before he joined in, reluctantly agreeing. 

You all started to eat, sharing the variety of dishes spread between you all. You had to give it to him, Jungkook was an impressive mood maker. He didn’t stop talking and joking around, and to your surprise, Seokjin seemed like a totally different person around him. There was no need to wonder how they were best friends after spending a few minutes in their company. Affectionate bickering seemed to be their love language. Hoseok was the calm, maybe slightly judgemental friend, who kept them in line when things got too rowdy. Watching their dynamic was interesting – and extremely enjoyable. 

“____, try this.” Jungkook was holding out a container of what looked like stuffed peppers that were possibly battered. “Jin said you’ve been craving spicy food, and these are like a ten million on the Scoville scale. They’re filled with cheese.” 

You dropped one onto your plate, smothering it in salsa. “The baby might like it,” you agreed, and then smiled over at Seokjin, surprised but definitely touched by the fact he’d been telling his friends about any pregnancy updates. 

“Probably already has a better tolerance than his dad,” Jungkook muttered. 

You turned towards Seokjin this time, surprised, and your knee jutted into his thigh. “Awh, can’t you handle spicy food, Seokjin? You never told me.” 

“I can,” he insisted, his face flushing a little with the teasing lilt of your voice. “A little.” He brought a spoonful of rice to his mouth. “I’m fine.” 

Jungkook scoffed. “Sure, Jan. Just stick to your mild guacamole.” 

You, he, and Hoseok burst out laughing, before you felt mean and squeezed Seokjin’s thigh. He reached down his hand and kept you there for a moment, playing with your fingers until you both realised you needed said hand to continue eating. 

Seokjin leaned back in his chair, fiddling with the collar of his shirt, and you noticed how adorably red his chest was. “You should have asked Kang to come along,” he said to Hoseok. 

“And make me the fifth wheel? No chance.” Jungkook shook his head. 

“I’m sure you are more than capable of finding a last-minute lunch date,” Hoseok quipped. 

Jungkook contemplated that for a moment, his eyebrows lifting. “I can think of one that’s just a few floors down.” 

“No way,” Seokjin laughed. “You know everyone inside this place is off limits after last time.”   

“What happened last time?” you asked curiously. 

Jungkook averted his gaze, trailing his fork around his food. “Nothing.” 

You looked up at Seokjin, even more curious now. He leaned down to whisper in your ear. “I’ll tell you later.” 

Jungkook’s head shot up accusingly. “I heard that.” 

You smiled innocently. “You heard nothing.” 

Jungkook burst out laughing and addressed Seokjin. “I can’t believe you hid her away from us!”

“I didn’t,” he chuckled. 

Attention now back on you, Jungkook rested an elbow on the table, chin in hand. “I must say ____, pregnancy becomes you.” 

“You’ve only ever seen me pregnant,” you laughed. 

“You’re glowing.” 

You raised an eyebrow, amused by his behaviour. “You’re good at compliments.” 

“Do you think?” His mouth twitched into a semi-smirk, voice low. 

Hoseok coughed, interrupting the conversation. “Kook, pass me some more napkins.” 

You leaned back in your chair as Jungkook grabbed a handful of napkins, mentally chuckling. He was unstoppable. Was it instinct to flirt with every woman he set his eyes on? He meant no harm, you knew that, but you still glanced at Seokjin, wondering what he thought of it. He was busy eating, but as though he sensed your gaze, his eyes flick to yours. 

“What?” he asked quietly. 

You smiled. “You have some mild guacamole on your nose.” 

“Do I?” His eyes widened, lifting a hand to wipe it with his fingers. “Where?” 

“No, I’m only messing around,” you giggled – giggled – moving his hand away with yours. He guided both underneath the table and then let go to cup your thigh. It stayed there as you both continued eating, his touch warm and agreeable. 

.

.

“See, I told you there was nothing to worry about,” Seokjin beamed, stepping closer to you to avoid walking into someone who was too distracted with their phone call to pay attention to where they were going. 

Lunch over, Seokjin had insisted on walking you back to work, and eager to be alone with him again, you’d immediately accepted. You hoped he wasn’t so busy next week because you missed seeing him. A faint feeling of panic niggled your brain, but you forced it away. It was okay to grow attached to him, you knew that now. Nothing bad would come from relying on him. 

“I guess,” you shrugged, but couldn’t stop your own smile. Meeting Hoseok and Jungkook had been fun, you’d had nothing to worry about. They were great. 

“I did tell you Jungkook could flirt with inanimate objects, didn’t I?” 

“And here I was thinking I was special,” you joked. 

Seokjin chuckled, but there was something half-hearted about it. “You seemed to get along though? He made you laugh a lot.” 

You dipped your chin, watching your feet as you tried to stifle a laugh. Was that jealousy you detected? “Busted. I like funny men.” Looking up though, you couldn’t take his crestfallen face, linking your arm through his impulsively. “But I know someone funnier.” 

He took the bait, smile growing again. You didn’t pull away, nor did he, and you continued walking, joined together. In the space of a few days, days you’d been absent from one another, it seemed it was now normal to seek out one another’s touch. It was new, and you liked it, and it made you wonder why you hadn’t been doing it from the beginning? With him things just seemed to come naturally. Things you once thought of as scary, things you thought you’d never feel, things you thought would never happen again. It all felt so easy now. 

“If I had to choose,” you started casually, “out of the two, I’d probably pick Hoseok – but don’t tell Jungkook.” 

Seokjin sighed gravely, shaking his head. “I don’t think I can do that. I’ll rub it in for a week.” 

You laughed, nudging him, but it was the reaction you’d been imagining. You’d only been in their company for less than two hours, but it was more than enough to understand their dynamic. “You’re different around them,” you noted, tilting your head in consideration. 

It was to be expected, his friends had known him for years, that connection meant something – you only had to look at you and Yuna. You were different around her too. Different to what you were with Seokjin. 

“How so?” He seemed genuinely interested. 

“Not in a bad way,” you explained. “I liked seeing you like that, it was new.” 

You were surprised to see he looked worried. “Was I being too childish?”

“No,” you laughed. “But you are…more serious around me, don’t you think?” You didn’t really know how to explain it. 

Seokjin shrugged. “That’s because I like being taken seriously around you.” 

“You’re telling me you’re a CEO and you’re not taken seriously enough?” 

“No, not like that,” he chuckled, sounding coy. “I just…like the way I am around you.” 

You guess he didn’t know how to explain himself either, but that was all right, you were sure you understood perfectly, because you felt the same way. You liked how you were with him. 

Squeezing his arm, you grinned. “I like it too.” 

It wasn’t long before you reached Artkive, and you stopped outside the doors, feeling embarrassingly expectant. You knew you’d both agreed to just let things happen if they felt right, but you were a little hazy on the details. You’d shared one kiss already (technically multiple) so did that mean there would be others? Or had that just been a one-time thing, having been caught up in the moment? Did you have to wait until another moment? Was this one right now? Why were you even expecting a kiss? Had you been expecting one all day? All week? 

Stop it, you scolded yourself, you’re thinking too much again! 

Lost in a whirlwind of your own annoying thoughts, you barely heard the friendly voice behind you, jumping slightly, when one of your co-workers appeared by your side. “Hey, ____. Enjoy your lunch?” 

It was Mari, the accountant, grinning at you warmly. She was by far the oldest member of your team, a friend of Namjoon’s mom, not that her age mattered. She was lovely and treated everyone at the office like they were her children. Still, you felt a little bitter she’d interrupted a potential “moment.” 

“Oh, yes, thank you,” you smiled, then realised she was waiting for you so you could walk in together. Reluctantly, you turned to Seokjin. “Speak to you later?”

He nodded. “I’ll call you.” With a smile your way, then Mari’s, he turned around and started walking away. Holding back a sigh of dismay, you followed Mari inside. What was up with you? 

“He’s a very beautiful young man,” Mari commented casually, and you nearly choked. “How long have you been together?”

Oh no. The moment you’d been dreading was happening. You hoisted a tight smile on your face. “Oh, we’re not. We’re just friends.” 

Friends who kissed. Friends who touch hands and thighs and link arms… Friends who once had sex – twice – when you were strangers. Friends who were now having a baby together. 

“Oh.” To give it to her, she hid her surprise well, chuckling softly to herself as the elevator doors opened and you stepped inside. “Things are so different with you kids these days. Artificial insemination, was it?”

This time you really did choke. So much for pretending as though your pregnancy didn’t exist. “No,” you managed to answer, feeling your face heat up, which was silly really. Sex was sex. So what? 

Unbelievably, Mari winked your way. “Well, it is more fun that way, huh?” As she broke into laughter, you couldn’t help but join in. 

When you got back to your desk you took out your phone, needing to share the story with Seokjin ASAP. 

Mari, the lovely woman who interrupted us—

You stopped, rethinking your phrasing. It seemed as though you were irritated by what had happened. You mean, you were, but he didn’t need to know that. You tried again and hit send. 

Mari, the woman you just saw asked me if we’d used artificial insemination to get pregnant. Awkward. 

Your phone buzzed almost immediately. 

Seokjin 2:05pm  And did you correct her? 😉

Only Seokjin could get away with using the winking face emoji. 

Of course. She winked and said it’s more fun that way…

Seokjin 2:06pm  I’m inclined to agree 

At his reply, your stomach dipped, and involuntarily you squeezed your thighs together. Could this be considered sexting? 

No, seriously, what was up with you?!

You were thankfully saved from yourself when Namjoon made his way over and asked how lunch had gone. 

To your bitter disappointment, over the next couple of weeks, there were no more kisses. Not that you were alone very much to begin with. Seokjin had multiple important deadlines so the only time you got to see him was for a quick lunch here or a late dinner there. The weekends weren’t any better because you were wedding dress hunting with Yuna. Her and Jimin had decided on this time next year for the wedding, so it was all systems go. As maid of honour, your role was of ‘upmost importance’ – something she kept repeating daily. It was already exhausting, and you hadn’t even decided on a colour for the bridesmaid dresses yet – not that you’d be able to fit into anything once your bump started expanding! 

The fact you were already 12 weeks pregnant was unbelievable. Time seemed to be going faster by the day, so before you knew it, your next prenatal appointment with Dr. Choi was due. This time it fell on a weekday, so Namjoon had kindly given you the afternoon off. Seokjin’s schedule was easing up slightly, so thankfully he was able to attend too. It would have killed him to miss it, you knew that. He was equally as excited as you to see how much Glob had grown and hadn’t been able to stop going on about it last night on the phone. 

This time the check-up was a lot less in-depth, and the ultrasound was done externally. The gel was cold, but it was hardly noticeable once you saw your baby again – wriggling away happily. You were unable to hold back your tears once you heard the steady thump of their heartbeat, overcome with emotion, and laughing weakly at yourself. Seokjin laced your fingers with his, giving them a soothing squeeze, and when you looked over at him you noticed his eyes were shiny, just as emotional as you. You left the doctor’s office with two matching sonograms and an updated due date – a few days before Seokjin’s birthday. 

Even though Seokjin needed to be back to work soon, you spent the next ten minutes sat in his car studying every inch of the photo together. You could easily make out the head and body, see their tiny nose, and even a hand, where during the ultrasound it had looked like Glob was waving at you. They looked like an actual baby now, and it was astonishing to think this tiny human was inside of you, baking away contentedly. 

“They’re looking less Glob shaped by the second,” you said wistfully as you tucked the photo back inside your purse. 

Seokjin chuckled, clipping his seatbelt in place. “Let’s not give up on the nickname yet. I’ve grown quite fond of it.” 

“Yuna’s good for some things then,” you commented sardonically as you tried to do the same, making him laugh once more. You tugged your belt a second time when it got stuck. Then again, but it didn’t budge. “The belt’s jammed.” 

“Is it?” He undid his own. “Want me to try?” 

When you nodded, he leaned over, crowding your space which you had zero problems with. The faint scent of his cologne filled your nostrils, and something tugged in your lower stomach. Was it hope? An urge? Desire? You watched the side of his face as he fought with the seatbelt, able to even take a waft of his shampoo he was so close. His hair was getting longer again, not quite how it had been before, but it was getting there, and you secretly hoped he wouldn’t cut it again any time soon. It looked soft, slightly tousled, and you fought the urge to reach forward and thread your fingers through it. 

What the hell was wrong with you? 

One kiss – three kisses! – and you’d turned into something you couldn’t understand nor explain. Ever since that night you had been one large mass of expectation. Anticipating more that never seemed to come. Sometimes you’d lie in bed and think about it. The warmth of his soft lips, the heat of his wet tongue. How he’d kissed you so delicately yet deeply your toes ended up curling in pleasure at the memory. If something just feels right and good, then let’s just let it… You thought of his words more than once a day lately, turning them over and ripping them apart in an attempt to analyse their meaning. 

Things had changed between you since then, you knew that. You both continuously edged the line of what was considered friendship, whatever that word meant in this instance. You endlessly flirted over text, in your own round-a-bout way – that would have Yuna undoubtably raising a judgemental eyebrow if she ever saw – and even when on the phone together his voice sometimes took on a deeper, suggesting tone that had you giggling as though you were in middle school. Giggling! You never giggled. In person, in public, you’d both often reference That Night, innocently more than anything, but it still managed to rouse memories of his mouth trailing your skin, his bare flesh gliding and pressing against yours, the sound of his groans in your ear. 

For one night you’d had him everywhere and now he was nowhere. 

“It shouldn’t be doing that. I’ll probably have to get it checked out.” 

You blinked, Seokjin’s words taking time to sink in, the click of your belt even longer, and then finally you realised you were staring at him rather accusingly. You relaxed your face, noticing he was still stretched across the car, still in your personal space, and now staring at you straight back. Your breathing hitched when you watched his gaze flit to your mouth. 

Yes, things had changed, but there was still something missing. 

His lips on yours. 

“Hi,” you murmured. 

The car suddenly felt small and stuffy, Seokjin’s body heat suffusing the enclosed space and fogging your mind. 

“Hi,” he murmured right back, his face definitely closer than what it was moments ago.

You had just enough time to exhale before his mouth pressed firmly to yours, the warmth of it instantly spreading over your skin, blood rushing to the surface. Your body acted without your control, gripping his shirt at the waist, your fingers brushing the firm skin hidden underneath, as the tip of your tongue flicked over his lips, eager for more, eager to taste him. His reaction was instant, the throatiest groan you’d ever heard vibrating against you before he connected your desperate tongues, one hand squeezing your upper arm, the other bracing himself against the window. The angle was awkward, perhaps even uncomfortable for him, but none of that mattered because it was finally happening. 

There was nothing wild and ravenous about it, tongues pressing and sliding together at a similar pace they had a couple of weeks ago, but there was an urgency behind each movement that wasn’t quite there before, a need. Was it coming from him or you? Probably you. In your head you were tearing of each other’s clothes, about to mount his lap and start tugging his hair until his roots resisted. 

You were so lost in fantasy, you almost didn’t hear the voices from outside, the sound travelling closer by the second. That’s right, reality sunk in, it was mid-afternoon, and you were parked up at the doctor’s office. You tugged at Seokjin’s shirt in an attempt to push him away, but your hand betrayed you and you ended up pulling him closer. He pressed his lips tight against yours, a pretty, unrestrained moan slipping from him, and you wanted to yell at whoever was making their way nearer. The second time you managed to push, your hand thankfully listening, and Seokjin reluctantly pulled himself away, his eyes glassy, brow furrowed in confusion. 

“There’s people coming,” you explained in a hushed panic. Not wanting to, but under the impression it was for the best, you wiped your wet mouth, noticing Seokjin didn’t do the same as he slid back into his seat, plump lips shiny. You squeezed your thighs together, watching as a couple hand in hand – your interruption – walked to their car parked in the row in front. Your heart was hammering, and you didn’t know whether it was because of the kiss or the near miss. 

You heard Seokjin click his seatbelt into place and chuckle. “What?” you accused. 

“Nothing,” he shook his head innocently, starting up the car. It wasn’t until he pulled out of the parking lot did he speak again. “They wouldn’t have seen anything, they weren’t looking.” 

“They could have glanced over!” 

A smile played on his lips. “But they didn’t.” 

“I didn’t want to get caught making out at a doctor’s office,” you hissed in a scandalised voice. 

You didn’t want to be banned for inappropriate behaviour – public indecency! Although…if Dr. Choi was the one who found you, it might not be the end of the world… There were plenty more doctor’s offices in this city. 

He burst out laughing. “Making out? What are we, twelve?”

You cocked an eyebrow. “You were making out at twelve?”

“No.” His laugh turned into an awkward chuckle, keeping his eye on the road. “You know what I mean.” 

You crossed your arms, words slipping out. “If I recall, you wouldn’t kiss me at the bar that night.” 

He glanced over in disbelief. “We were surrounded by people!” Excuses. “Besides, it wasn’t so much embarrassment, but more I didn’t know if I’d be able to control myself once I tasted your mouth.” 

Your eyes widened to double their size, not quite believing your ears. One look at the satisfied smirk on his face told you he was loving how speechless he’d made you. “You’re shameless!” you cried, reaching an arm across to bat at his chest. 

He snorted, looking over again. “How so?” 

“Attention on the road, please, Mr. Kim,” you quipped, squeezing his bicep, muscle flexing in reflexively. “Me and your baby are in your trusted care.”

.

.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to call tonight,” Seokjin told you once he’d pulled up outside your house, sounding sorry. “I have a family dinner and you’ll probably be asleep by the time I get back.” 

“Oh,” you replied, “that’s fine.” You didn’t want him to feel bad about it. He didn’t have to call you every night, it had just become something of a habit over the weeks. Sometimes you even fell asleep while chatting, other times you video called, especially if you hadn’t managed to see one another in a couple of days. Something dawned on you then, a sicky feeling of panic washing over you. “Um. Are you going to tell them?” 

Seokjin’s eyebrows raised a fraction, not expecting the question. “I don’t know. Do you want me to tell them?” he asked carefully. 

You honestly weren’t sure. You were three months gone, and everything was fine, the baby was healthy. Most people started sharing the news now. Your entire workplace knew. But then again, it wasn’t up to you whether Seokjin wanted to tell his parents or not. It was his decision. 

Sensing your apprehension, he tried a different approach.  “Are you going to tell your family now?”

“Probably not yet,” you admitted. 

Seokjin didn’t question why, and to be honest, if he had, you didn’t know if you could answer. You knew your stepmother would be over the moon with your pregnancy, even if you told her you and Seokjin weren’t together, and you knew your father would be indifferent, just like your siblings. There would be no huge drama, other than Yeonja’s happy, relieved tears. If you were being honest, you were way more nervous anticipating the reaction of Seokjin’s parents. Yet for now, probably until your bump started showing, your pregnancy would be a secret for just a little while longer. 

“Then I won’t either,” he shrugged simply. 

“No. You don’t have to do that. If you want to tell them, do.” 

“I don’t mind waiting some more. Until you’re comfortable.” His hand found your knee, giving it a squeeze. You thought about his tongue. “When you are, we can tell them together if you want? I know my mom would insist on meeting you.” 

You tried to smile, but the action felt tight and uncomfortable. The idea of meeting his family was terrifying, which was stupid because they weren’t these rich, untouchable people that your mind insisted on viewing them as. You mean, they were rich, because of Seokjin’s success, but if they were anything like him, you had nothing to worry about. You knew it would have to happen eventually, and you were trying not to freak out, especially now that you’d turned a corner, but just imagining accompanying Seokjin to a family dinner, informing everybody of your shock pregnancy, made you feel as though you were battling morning sickness all over again. 

“I just don’t want you to keep secrets from them,” you admitted. Maybe the longer you both waited, the worse it would get. 

“It’s not a secret,” he insisted. “They’re not exactly asking every time they see me if I’ve gotten someone pregnant. If anything, they might keel over with shock.” You didn’t find that very funny, grimacing, and he chuckled, the hand still on your knee squeezing again. “I promise everything will be okay.” 

He sounded so certain, you couldn’t not have faith in him. “Okay.” This time your smile was a little easier. “I’m going to wait a few more weeks to tell my dad and Yeonja – at least until I can’t get away with it any longer.” You gestured to your stomach. 

Seokjin laughed softly, his hand now gliding over your belly, spreading a comforting warmth. “I don’t know how successful that will be. Your bump might hold off, but you won’t. You’re practically glowing, ____.”

“Please,” you scoffed. “That’s a myth.” Jungkook had been the first to mention it, which you had taken no notice of, but then Mari had said something this week, Dr. Choi today, and now even Seokjin was believing that crap. 

“Like hell it is.” 

“Shut up,” you dismissed, catching a look of yourself in the mirror of the sun visor. Your skin was looking good yes, but that was probably down to all the vitamins you were practically inhaling, and okay, your hair was shinier than it had ever been, but you’d recently purchased a new organic shampoo, so…

Seokjin lifted his hands to cover his face, as if to shield himself from the sun. “I almost can’t look at you, you’re so bright!”

“Seokjin!” you whine-cried. 

Your complaints only made him laugh loudly and continue. “A true, real-life angel!”

Okay, now he was just being silly. “Did someone start taking charm lessons from Jungkook?” 

“Is it working?” he grinned cheekily. He leaned in. “So, can I kiss you goodbye, or are you afraid we’ll get caught?” 

Your stomach started flip-flopping, not quite believing he was being this forward. “One kiss,” you told him, even though you wanted more than that. “I don’t want to give my neighbours reason to gossip.” 

“You’re unbelievable,” he chuckled, already against your mouth. 

The next morning, you found a text from the night before waiting for you. 

Seokjin 11:23pm  I just got home and I’m EXAUSTED.   You’re definitely asleep by now but I just wanted to say goodnight  Angel 😇 

He was the unbelievable one. 

The following week, Seokjin managed to give you that tour of AGS he’d promised you, meeting him after work on Tuesday evening. The first thing you’d noticed was the giant RJ figure that greeted you as you walked through the doors. Say it was down to nerves, because that thing was taller than Seokjin, but you’d managed to walk past it as though it was invisible the first time you’d been here. There honestly wouldn’t be enough time to tour the entire building, unless you wanted to be here until gone midnight, but he showed you the best bits, the fun bits. The entire rooms dedicated to gaming, the trophy room which showcased every single award AGS had won over the years, the humongous cafeteria, a very impressive gym, which you guessed Seokjin made use of sometimes, and then lastly, something called the development centre where updates for existing games got worked on alongside much awaited future games. Generously, Seokjin let you try out something new his team had been working on. 

Even though you didn’t know a single thing about video games, you had fun, made even more fun because Seokjin had to help you out. Stood over you, his hot, minty breath on your neck and his warm hands over yours as he directed the controls for you, you could have stayed here for hours. And when the little character you’d been playing as fell out of a tree and sadly didn’t make it, you didn’t feel too disappointed because you had Seokjin consoling you, his gentle voice in your ear, making goosebumps appear and a tingle spread up your spine. 

His touch was so soft, you almost didn’t notice the kiss he’d placed on your earlobe until after he’d moved back and apologised. 

“Don’t be sorry,” you said, turning your head to look at him. “Weren’t you the one that said if something feels right we should just go for it?”

He was confusing you. One minute he was flirting like crazy, sure of himself and his skill, and the next time you saw him he was apologising for something as tiny as a peck on your ear, looking mortified with himself. You really hoped you didn’t have to wait two more weeks for another kiss, you might just explode! He had started something, and he needed to finish it. 

“Well yeah, but my right and your right might be totally different,” he suggested weakly, not meeting your eyes. 

You watched him for a moment, trying to make sense of his words. Did he not want to push his luck? Did he think he wanted to kiss you more than you wanted to kiss him? That wasn’t the case at all, but you hadn’t quite reached those levels of frankness to tell him just that. Instead, you went with something simpler. Less compromising.  

“I can guarantee you they’re not.” 

Seokjin raised his head, his dark eyes unreadable, his grip on the back of your chair tightening. For a moment, neither of you said anything, only stared at one another, and then suddenly, after a ragged breath his lips were on yours. You reacted quickly, winding your hands around his neck, one gripping his shoulder, and he cupped your cheek with his, his thumb tugging at the corner of your mouth so your lips could part. 

“I’ve been desperate to do this again,” he confessed, sucking on your bottom lip, your toes curling. 

His words made your entire body light up, your fingers digging into him as you moaned against his tongue, attempting to pull him closer. If the back of the chair could just disappear, that would be great. You were just thinking maybe you could switch places and straddle him, when the sound of a vacuum outside the door interrupted you. You pulled away marginally, just as Seokjin did the same, your eyebrows raised in question. 

“Cleaners,” he pretty much sighed in response, begrudgingly backing off, running a hand over his face. 

Your disappointment was instant, like ice cold water getting dunked over your head. 

The next day, you learned of plans for Soobin’s upcoming birthday. Namjoon had booked the upstairs room of a small nightclub last minute, for tomorrow night, Soobin’s weekend fully booked with birthday festivities for it to happen then. He wanted to surprise the younger guy after he’d stepped in as temporary receptionist, which was sweet. Thankfully, Namjoon had hired someone new on Monday, relieving Soobin of his extra duties. Yeeun was in her mid-thirties and had eased into the job seamlessly, which made sense seeing as she’d been a receptionist for ten years at a dental firm up until a month ago when it had gone bust. You’d overheard Namjoon jokingly telling Yoongi to stay away from her Monday afternoon, and to your surprise he had laughed. 

In fact, he’d been more like his usual self this past week or so, chatting with everyone once again, smiling and laughing. He no longer hid away at his desk or even his car to eat lunch. He no longer seemed to be avoiding you – or maybe avoiding was an insensitive way of looking at things. You understood he’d needed space to get over everything that had happened, and that meant you as well. Thankfully though, things seemed to be changing. Yesterday you’d even had a small conversation about Glob in the break room as you searched for something to graze on. Morning sickness had disappeared altogether and now you were just hungry 24/7. Things were still pretty awkward between you both and a part of you didn’t know how to act around him after your dual confessions, but acting as you normally would (before all this mess) was probably the best thing to do. You didn’t want to lose your friendship with him. Things would get better, you were sure of it. 

“So…maybe you could invite Seokjin?” Namjoon was asking you now, his tone slow and careful, fiddling with a corner of his mousepad that was peeling and curling upwards. “I mean, everyone else is inviting someone. Friends, wives, husbands, partners—Not that I’m saying Seokjin is your significant other,” he panicked, eyes wide, then rallied on, barely taking a breath. “Just that maybe it would be nice for him to meet everyone you work with. We’re all like you’re extended family after all.” 

You let out a short, piercing laugh, folding your arms. “Are you saying that you would like to meet him because you’re like my extended family?” 

He was so transparent. 

“Come on, it’s only fair.” He was pouting slightly. “Yuna’s met him.” 

“Not of my own volition,” you insisted. “You know what she’s like.” 

His mouth quirked then, not needing to say anything for you to know he agreed. He’d known Yuna for practically the same amount of time he’d known you. On the night you’d introduced them, they’d ended up in bed together, but thankfully they’d both agreed it was only a one-time thing, could forget the fact they’d been naked and sweaty together, and had become friends.  You still wished that Yuna hadn’t gone into extremely vivid detail about how hung he was, but you’d also thankfully been able to put that behind you and managed to keep your friendship with him too. 

“How is the bride-to-be anyway?” he asked, distracted now. “I haven’t seen her since the engagement party.” 

The engagement party had happened before you’d found out you were pregnant, before you’d gone on your wild-goose chase searching for Seokjin – or Jin as you only knew him by back then. It was funny thinking back. It wasn’t too long ago, but so much had changed. So many things had happened. You felt like a different person sometimes. 

“She’s Yuna,” you replied, as if that was a befitting enough answer. It was. “Texted me at 4 this morning wanting my thoughts on a traveling seafood station for the wedding reception. Yeah, I don’t know what it is either, but it sounds gross,” you laughed when you noticed Namjoon pulling the most disgusted face you’d ever seen. You forget he hated seafood with a burning passion. 

“Tell her I rescind my invitation.”

You left his office promising to ask Seokjin if he’d like to come – if he could make it. Going to a birthday party on a weeknight might be a problem for him, but a very large part of you hoped he would say yes. After all, you had said you wanted him to meet Namjoon soon and yet that opportunity hadn’t come yet. However, as well as your friend, he was now going to meet the entirety of your office too… That was like you meeting every single one of his employees. Or maybe not, because that would probably be impossible, and so, so intimidating! But you had to admit, the thought of Seokjin meeting everyone was a nice one. You had no doubt that they would love him, that man had enviable charm, even if he didn’t realise it, or played it down… Talk of your pregnancy was free rein now, you felt comfortable around everyone, showing off Glob’s sonogram – or selfie, as Yuna liked to call it – proudly. You felt easier and lighter than you’d felt in a long, long time, so the thought of your colleagues meeting Seokjin felt like a natural progression. He was the father of your baby after all. 

To your delight, he said he could make it on the phone that night, and a taxi dropped him off at your place the following evening, waiting for you both as you slipped on your shoes. Seokjin had decided not to drive so he could have a drink or two to settle his nerves. You felt for him, but you knew he had nothing to be nervous about. Just like he had known you had nothing to be nervous about when you’d met Hoseok and Jungkook. 

“You look beautiful,” he smiled as you braced yourself against the door frame and flicked a slingback on. You didn’t want to keep the driver waiting too long because you knew the fare meter was still running, but you’d taken way too long to get ready tonight. You’d recently began spending an indeterminable amount of time studying your belly in the mirror. There was something there, if you looked hard enough, but mostly it just looked as though you were bloated after eating too much bread. In the nights it expanded slightly, but not by a lot. Dr. Choi had already told you that for first time moms, it often took longer for the bump to appear, but you almost found yourself eager for it to happen now, despite wanting to hold off telling your family…

Bump or not, everything else had started to expand anyway. You could no longer get any of your jeans past mid-thigh, your hips widening, and your boobs, well, they were well on their way to growing an extra cup size. You were spilling out over all of your bras. You’d finally settled on a floaty midi dress ten minutes ago. One that hid your quadruple tits and slipped past your hips effortlessly. Seokjin’s comment made your face warm, which only got worse when you were sat together in the back of the taxi. 

“Okay, stop looking at me now, you’re making me self-conscious,” you whispered, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. 

“Sorry, I just can’t help it. That angel glow is amplified tonight,” he chuckled. He leaned over the gap between you and kissed your cheek. “You have nothing to be self-conscious about.” 

You squeezed your body tight, evil images of straddling him snaking their way into the forefront of your mind. You were the shameless one! You turned to him then, taking in his appearance, which was probably a bad idea considering everything. He was dressed in all black, making him appear longer and leaner – if that was possible – and he looked broader than ever. 

“You look good too,” you offered. That was an understatement. He looked irresistible. 

“Really?” He looked down at himself, shaking his head, and you noticed the tops of his ears had flushed red, an adorably common response to pretty much anything. “I just threw something on.” 

You didn’t really know whether to believe that one or not… 

.

.

You and Seokjin stepped into the upstairs room of the venue close together, your arm brushing against his. He leaned in, his voice in your ear so you could hear him above the music. “Which is the one who thought we used a turkey baster? I’d love to meet her.” 

You snorted unattractively, batting at his chest, but before you could reply, you heard Namjoon calling you over from his spot stood at the bar. He was with Yoongi, and you felt a jolt of unease spread through you. You found yourself not caring how others perceived your relationship with Seokjin. There was no black and white answer right now, and nobody in this room knew about the kisses and words you’d shared. They were free to think what they liked, but for some reason it still felt as though you were flaunting a new relationship in front of Yoongi right now. You hadn’t particularly thought of it that way until now, but you couldn’t exactly ignore Namjoon’s large, dimpled smile and eager wave. So, you led the way, Seokjin following closely behind. 

“Seokjin, this is my boss Namjoon,” you introduced with a smile, glancing over at Yoongi who was leaning both elbows on the bar, something clear and sparkling in his glass. 

“Boss?” Namjoon huffed, crossing his arms. “That’s not very nice.” He looked at Seokjin then, holding out his hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Seokjin.” 

“And you,” Seokjin grinned, the action as dashing as always. 

You cleared your throat, motioning to Yoongi. “You remember Yoongi?”

Of course he did! 

Seokjin nodded in his direction, his yes muffled by Yoongi’s casual what’s up?

There was a brief moment of silence before Seokjin asked: “Can I get you both another drink?” 

Namjoon said yes the same time Yoongi said no, and the former laughed, easing the slight awkwardness of the situation. 

“What about you?” he asked you as he stepped towards the bar, next to Namjoon. “Do they do a non-alcoholic version of those cocktails you love?” 

You giggled quietly, mildly aware Namjoon and Yoongi were listening. “Seokjin, that would just be a Fizz.” 

“I can be the gin substitute.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Which do you prefer?” 

“Hmm, that’s hard.” you contemplated, feigning a struggle and laughing when he breathed out an offended scoff. 

After you’d decided on a soda water and wedge of lime, Seokjin ordered beers for him and Namjoon. All three drinks didn’t take long to arrive, and as Namjoon took his, he stood straighter. “Hey, come on, let’s get ready. Tara will be here with Soobin any minute now.” 

Tara was another graphic designer, and tonight it had been her job to lure Soobin here for his surprise. And surprised he was once he finally appeared in the doorway, nearly jumping out of his skin when everyone yelled ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOOBIN.’ You liked Soobin and were even more fond of him now that you knew his intuition was 100% trustable. You cornered him a little while later with his gift, which Seokjin had kindly taken charge of when you’d whined about 1. Not having enough time to get him a present, and 2. Not knowing what to get him at all. Seokjin figured every guy liked to game. You didn’t quite think the same, but out of ideas, you’d relented, and now you handed your co-worker an envelope with an AGS gift card inside. 

Seeing his mouth form a small ‘o’ as he opened it up instantly made you believe you’d been correct. “Do you game?” you asked, about to cast a worried glance Seokjin’s way when you saw what it was that had made Soobin speechless. The gift card’s amount was eyewatering. Or eyewatering for a gift from a random co-worker of his and her friend-who-is-the-father-of-her-baby-and-who-she-kisses-sometimes anyway. 

“Seokjin owns the company,” you explained in a rush. 

“Really?” Soobin’s eyes rounded. “Oh, god.” You watched in confusion as he grew strangely flustered, his eyes flying to Seokjin, pupils flitting back and forth. “I love every game you’ve released, but especially BT21! I’ve loved that for years. I can’t wait for the update, it’s going to be amazing! I’ll be able to purchase so much with this! Thank you so much – truly!” He held up the gift card and let out a gleeful laugh, waving it about. 

Well, would you look at that, Seokjin had himself a fanboy. BT21 was Seokjin’s oldest and most cherished creation, the game he’d coded as a teenager and gradually and painstakingly built and improved bit by bit. The game that had made his company take off, the game that had made him his fortune. He’d told you that two nights ago, so the knowledge was still fresh in your memory. A simulation role-playing video game that you knew for a fact, starred RJ the cute white alpaca. 

Seokjin chuckled humbly. “Thanks. I’m blessed with a very talented team.” 

It wasn’t long before you felt out of your depth as their conversation continued, so with a gentle squeeze to Seokjin’s elbow, you excused yourself, spotting Tara sat in a booth with Yeeun. 

Seokjin turned out to be an impressive socialiser – or maybe it was just because everyone wanted a conversation with him. You watched as he mingled his way around the room, laughing and joking with everyone. It was amazing, although you imagined he had to be good at this stuff being who he was, even if he possibly didn’t enjoy it very much. Currently he was sat at the bar with Namjoon where they had been animatedly chatting for the last thirty minutes. You were slumped in a booth, exhausted from the five minutes of dancing you’d managed with Tara and Soobin. Every now and then Seokjin would glance over and smile at you, sending your insides all a flutter. You couldn’t even blame it on alcohol. 

You were surprised when Yoongi appeared in front of you, his head tilted, mouth curved into a half smile. “No fun being the only sober one?”

You laughed, smoothing a hand over your stomach. “I guess I have to get used to it for a while. At least I won’t be suffering with a hangover tomorrow morning.” 

“If it helps, I’m not drinking either,’ he chuckled, sliding into the seat next to you and placing his glass on the table. Another clear and sparkling drink. The same as yours you realised. 

“How come?” 

His hair had gotten longer recently and it really suited him, but then again, you were a fan of long hair so maybe you were biased. Despite that though, you felt nothing. No twist of your stomach, no racing of your pulse, no warming of your cheeks… 

“Giving Mari a ride home. Her husband couldn’t make it.” 

You smiled, that was sweet of him, but your attention got stolen when you noticed Seokjin laughing at something Namjoon said across the room. You couldn’t hear it, but you could imagine the sound easily. 

“Should I be worried I’m about to lose my best friend?” Yoongi joked, his gaze following yours. 

“I knew they would hit it off,” you grinned triumphantly, waving when Seokjin glanced over. 

.

.

Sometime later you came back from the restroom to find Seokjin sat alone, finishing his beer. Yoongi had stayed talking with you for a while, things only slightly stunted before you relaxed, comfortable again in his presence. It felt nice to joke around with him, to talk about work, and books and other shared interests, and of course, to laugh at Namjoon. All the things you used to do until a few weeks ago. When he’d left to find Mari, wondering when she wanted to leave, you waved him off feeling very confident that things would be all right between you. 

Now, seeing Seokjin all on his lonesome for the first time tonight, you rushed over and pulled up a barstool. 

“Is this seat taken?” you asked, plonking yourself down. 

He turned, a huge grin on his face. “I’m getting déjà vu.”

You tilted your head, eyes widening. “I thought this felt familiar.” You watched in bemusement as he erupted into squeaky laughter, banging his hands on top of the bar as though you were the funniest person in the world. “How much have you had to drink?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, his pretty eyes unfocused, his smile wonky. He held up his bottle. “Everyone kept buying me drinks. Namjoon can really knock them back,” he added, sounding impressed. 

With a laugh, you glanced around and spotted him chatting to Yeeun on the other side of the room. You turned back to Seokjin. “Should I go find us a taxi?” It was nearing midnight, and you didn’t want to be responsible for him not turning up to work tomorrow. 

He leaned in close, conspiratorially, hot breath against your jaw. “Are you going to tuck me in?” 

“Oh, my god!” you exclaimed, pushing his shoulder. He nearly faceplanted the bar top, his reaction time too slow. “You remember that?” 

“Of course I do,” he replied matter-of-factly. “I already said I remembered everything.” 

You didn’t need the reminder of how forthright you had been that night, it was embarrassing. Although, it had worked��� a little voice boasted inside your head. And obviously Seokjin remembered it for a reason… 

“____!” At the call of your name, you turned around to find Yoongi making his way over, Mari shuffling after him, her round cheeks rosy with alcohol. “I’m taking Mari home now. Do you and Seokjin want a ride?” 

“Oh.” You let his question sink in, having not been expecting it. “No, it’s okay, we’ll get a taxi.” 

“You sure?” 

“Come on, dear,” Mari coaxed. “You have your own free taxi service right here.”  

You looked at Seokjin, who gave a small shrug and smiled, as if to say he didn’t mind what you decided. Although, who knew if he’d even been paying attention to the conversation. You turned back to Yoongi and Mari. A ride home did sound like a convenient idea. You wouldn’t have to wait around. You could be in bed within the hour. 

“All right. Yeah, that would be great,” you smiled. “Thanks Yoongi.” 

“Yeah, thanks,” Seokjin echoed, swigging the last of his beer. 

.

.

Inside the car, Mari and Seokjin chatted away as if they had known one another for years. She was up front with Yoongi and you and Seokjin were squashed together in the back, Seokjin deciding to compact himself into the tiny centre seat next to you. You listened with a grin as he babbled on and on about the baby, practically gushing with this giant, goofy smile on his face. He sounded so happy telling Mari about the nickname Glob, laughing as he explained your best friend came up with it and it had just stuck. He caressed your stomach as he spoke, and you cupped your hand over his, following his motions, feeling warm all over. You were a unit, you realised. Connected because of the baby you’d created together, but maybe it was more than that now… 

“You’re a very beautiful man,” Mari told him as she got out of the car, taking him by surprise and turning him a deep shade of red in the process as he laughed awkwardly. The rush of affection you felt hit you like a bulldozer, and you doubted you could blame it on the bubbles in your soda water. 

“So, where do you live?” Yoongi asked Seokjin once Mari had let herself into her house. 

Seokjin squinted into the darkness outside, trying to recognise where you were. “Oh,” he said, looking at you guiltily. “It’s…quite a way from here.” His words were slow and heavy, as though he was tired. (And drunk, obviously.)

He was right, you realised, noticing the location on Yoongi’s GPS. 

“Yoongi, just take us to my place,” you said, without thinking twice “We’ll sort it out from there.” Seokjin could request a taxi from your house instead of you both making Yoongi drive around the city. God knows what time he’d get home. 

“You sure?” he asked, making eye contact with you in the rear-view mirror. “I really don’t mind.” 

“No, don’t put yourself out,” you insisted, before turning to Seokjin. “Is that okay?” 

“Yeah, of course,” he smiled, settling back into the seat, his right leg awkwardly spread to avoid being cramped. Once Yoongi started driving again, Seokjin leaned in close, the beer on his breath not particularly disagreeable to your surprise. “Does that mean I get to tuck you in?” he whispered archly. When you attempted to stifle your laugh and nudge him away, it only made his extra loud.

.

.

Soon enough, you were outside your place and waving Yoongi goodbye as you searched through your purse for the key. 

“This is such a great door,” Seokjin said beside you, and you turned to see him stroking the panels. “What type of wood is it?” 

You burst out laughing. “Seokjin, what the hell, you are so drunk!” He only shrugged in response. “How will you cope tomorrow?” you asked as you opened your ‘great’ door. 

“I don’t get hangovers,” he replied as he followed you inside. 

“Sit.” you ordered, motioning towards the sofa as you kicked off your shoes. “I’ll call a taxi.” 

“No, don’t,” he whined, slumping down, an arm resting on one of your throw pillows. “I’ll call Jay Kay. He owes me about ten favours.” 

You chuckled and sat down next to him. He made no move to call Jungkook, and seemed comfortable enough on your couch, in your living room, inside your home…

“Did you have fun tonight?” 

“Yes,” he smiled, his gaze, still unfocused, moving to you. “All your colleagues are really nice.” 

“They liked you.” 

He shook his head, in denial, and then proceeded to grimace, almost as if he was embarrassed. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” 

“No, come on.” 

He sighed and flung his head back, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m just…awful.” 

“Awful?” you asked hesitantly. 

“I’m an awful, jealous man.” 

“What do you mean?” Now you were just confused. 

He looked up, meeting your eyes, his face sombre. “I watched you laughing and joking with Yoongi.” 

Oh. Okay. You hadn’t been expecting that. 

He blinked. “Are you mad?”

You found yourself smiling. “Why would I be mad?” You hesitated, but ultimately decided to continue. “You’re not the only one who gets jealous. Dr. Choi was still giving you eyes.” 

This…thing with you and him would only be confusing if you both let it. If you both got in your heads too much. Which was pretty rich coming from you considering you were the queen of overthinking, but you were trying not to, and becoming very successful at it too. (But maybe that was because all your thoughts now revolved around straddling Seokjin.) Jealousy was a normal human emotion – in moderation. So what if you didn’t like it every time Dr. Choi smiled at him? You didn’t have to dissect those feelings and try to pinpoint the exact reason why it annoyed you. And it worked both ways. Seokjin didn’t need to think he was an awful person for watching you laugh with Yoongi and not liking it…

“You know I’m not interested in Yoongi, right?” you asked quietly, just to make sure. 

“I know,” he replied to your relief. “But it’s not just him.” You waited, perplexed. “Jungkook.” Your shock must’ve been obvious on your face because he groaned. “See, I’m terrible!” 

You snorted. “Pfft. Come on! Give me some credit.” 

Jungkook? Really? You’d probably end up throttling him. 

Seokjin looked stunned. “He’s not your type?” 

You shook your head. He was offending you. 

“What is your type?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t really think about it that much,” you admitted, taken by surprise. However, by now Seokjin was sitting up straight, full attention on you, as focused as a drunk person could get. It was down to that fact you relented. “I like someone who is hardworking,” you started tentatively, feeling a little embarrassed. “And intelligent – emotionally too.” 

Seokjin’s eyebrows raised, and it made you laugh, relaxing you. 

“I like someone who can make me laugh – I already said that… Someone’s who supportive, mature, practical.” The words were flowing from you now, without having to think too much. 

“Jungkook made you laugh,” he pointed out. 

You rolled your eyes. “Can Jungkook steam his own clothes and wash dishes?” You imagined he got someone to do that for him. “Because I find that really hot.” 

“He loves doing laundry.” 

“I don’t understand what’s going on here,” you chuckled quietly. “Are you trying to set me up with one of your best friends, or…?” 

“What else do you like?” he asked, either blatantly ignoring your question or not paying attention. 

You smiled, leaning in closer. “Someone that I can rely on… Someone who’s very handsome.” You waited for him to say something, knowing you were being completely obvious now, but not finding it in you to care. 

Finally, after a few seconds, he snorted, eyes fluttering closed. “I think your standards are very high.” 

You dissolved into laughter, resting the side of your face against the back of the sofa and watching him. “They are,” you agreed, not daring to share your final thoughts – your final hopes. 

Someone you could trust with your heart, someone who could understand you, someone who could be patient with you…

“I’ll get you some water and then you can call Jungkook,” you said instead, rising from the sofa. 

Seokjin hummed in response, slumped again. As you walked into the kitchen and poured him a glass, you wondered what his ideal type was, deciding to ask him while he waited for his ride. When you got back to the living room, he hadn’t moved a muscle. “Seokjin?” You placed the water down on the coffee table. When he didn’t reply, you tried again. “Jin?” 

Glancing over, you realised he was sound asleep! Or passed out, was probably a better way of describing it, because as you called him again, even starting to shake him gently, he didn’t budge. There seemed like nothing you could do, other than wrestle Seokjin’s phone out of his pocket to call Jungkook yourself. But that would mean him driving all the way here to drag an unconscious Seokjin into the back of his car. It seemed like a waste of time. You laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation, before fluffing up your cushions so he had somewhere comfortable to rest his head, decision made. Sleeping on your couch it was. 

You realised exactly just how dead to the world he was when you attempted to lie him on his back. It was an insane struggle just to move him an inch, yet your huffing and puffing did not wake him at all, his soft snores in your ear as you attempted to (stupidly) hoist him up by the armpits. 

“Come on, Glob, help me out here,” you panted, before giving up trying to be careful and pushing him down. You lifted his legs up, his ankles resting on the arm of the sofa, and tugged off his boots, lining them up together underneath the coffee table. You looked down at him, knowing that come tomorrow morning his body was going to be in agony, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. Taking the blanket folded on your chair, you draped it over him, then paused, feeling a little evil. Before you knew it, your phone was in your hand and you were snapping a picture of his cute pouty sleeping face. 

A memento. 

ending note; anyway, not to make anyone emo or anything, but I was just imagining Yoongi looking in the rear-view mirror as he drove them all home and seeing Oc’s happy, smiley face as she gazed at Seokjin and feeling all bittersweet because of course he’s over the moon for her but at the same time it still hurts a little 💔

Written 2022. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2022

#seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #fic:9mtfil #floralseokjin:writings

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 8)

A bunch of scenes because why not? On another note, it is extremely hard to write a scene in winter when it’s the middle of April. I hope you enjoy anyhow! Because now I’m really getting into the plot.

Word Count: 5.9k

CW: Death, crying, vague thoughts of suicide, severe trauma, (anything else idk??)

8-Ryker

It was Thanksgiving break. The first official break from school until Christmas. Words could not describe how grateful I was for the week-long break. There was no reason to have so much work piled up a couple weeks before the end of first semester. 

I was laying in my bed on my phone. It was about to turn six, which meant I should probably get started on dinner, but I just couldn’t bring myself to climb out of bed. I was physically and mentally tired of keeping up with everyone and whatever plans they had with their friends, taking care of Isabelle and Angela since they were still little, and on top of that keep up with the chores around the house. 

I grabbed my phone off the charger, stretched out my arms and legs from laying down, and opened my door to get started on dinner. The living room was oddly quiet, with Dylan and Lucky playing a game. Isabelle playing a game with Angela on the carpet that consisted of a bunch of stuffed animals and blankets. I smiled to myself. 

“What do you guys feel like eating for dinner?” I leaned against the kitchen island, waiting for an answer. 

“Spaghetti!” Isabelle and Angela answered at the time, giggling at one another. I think I could do that. I don’t know if Lucky can though. It was the first weekend of the break and I’d probably need to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyways. 

I looked in Dylan’s direction, making them pause whatever they were playing together. He just shrugged his shoulders, “Whatever’s easier for you.” Always with the same response. 

“Ummm, I can go check what we have.” Lucky told me, getting Dylan to let him onto the floor. All I could do was wait now. Jasmine was staying over at her friends today and tomorrow. I just told her to text me if she goes anywhere far and if she needed anything. Weird, right? Usually the parent handles these kinds of things, but in the situation my siblings and I are in it’s literally impossible. 

Lucky came back, shaking his head, “We don’t have the things for spaghetti,” He laid down on the arm rest of the couch and grabbed his remote, “You should call Nathan to come over. He hasn’t been here in a while. Plus, he’s so much better at cooking than I am. Right, Angela?” 

“Yeah!” 

I bit the side of my cheek. I don’t know about that. Just asking Nathan to come over to cook and then ask him to leave? That was wrong. Plus, he told me before the break that he’ll be pretty busy. Or… texted me. Either way, I shouldn’t bother him. Maybe he actually has a meal with his family for Thanksgiving and they were all getting ready for it already. On the other hand, Lucky makes something else for him and Angela, Angela doesn’t eat, and then everything goes downhill from there. 

Looking at my phone, I picked it up, opening the messages app, and clicked on Nathan’s name. The last time he came here, Jasmine did kind of freak him out. I remember him not being able to leave anyone’s side if she was in the room. I wonder if he’d even want to come over after that. At school the next day he was a little nervous, but otherwise fine afterward, but I’m sure whatever Jasmine told him is still stuck in his mind. Ugh. This was such a bad idea. 

Ryker: I have a huge favor to ask you 

I waited for a response, watching Dylan and Lucky play a fighting game against one another. I had no idea who was winning, but I’m pretty sure it was Lucky. Actually… it was kind of weird how Lucky seemed to want Nathan around more often. Like, really weird. Especially when every time Nathan came, he would practically ditch him with me. I honestly don’t mind, I liked having Nathan come over, but still. I had wondered why, but I wasn’t going to ask. 

Nathan: Yeah?

Ryker: Do you mind coming over to help Lucky cook something? 

Ryker: You don’t have to 

Well, if he says no Lucky will have to make whatever he can and I’d have to break the news to Angela. If you didn’t know, four year olds can be a little hard to deal with sometimes. So, this might just turn out to be a very, very bad day. 

Nathan: Sure! 

Nathan: Anything specific?

I stared at his text, relief washing over me. Dylan let out a cheer from winning against Lucky. Wow. Perfect timing. I was just so grateful right now. Nathan was literally the greatest friend ever. Now I have to think of someway to thank him. That shouldn’t be too hard, right? 

Ryker: They wanted spaghetti

Ryker: And thank you  

Nathan: No problem :)

Ryker: I guess I’ll be at the bus stop in about twenty minutes? 

Nathan: Okay 

I stuffed my phone in my pocket, “Okay, I’ll be right back, just text me if something happens.” I told Dylan, who nodded his head. And with that, I walked out the door and into the cold air. 

———Nathan———

Winters in the city were bad. But not as bad as when we were still help captive. Now those days were terrible. Horrifying even. It was still freakishly cold here. Not something I enjoy. For several reasons really. One being that I already get cold really easily. Two, I just hated being cold and sick. And the most important reason being that it was during this kind of weather when my dad had died. Actually, in three days it’s officially been nine years since my dad died. November 24. A long time, right? 

It hurts. The memories. Not just of him but how they brutally murdered him in front of his own child. I shuddered at the sight pictured in my mind. Nope. Can’t think about that. Right now I should probably be getting ready to head over to the bus stop. I already had packed a tiny bag with the things I needed to cook. Weird enough, it was kind of a therapy for me at this point. To be cooking I mean. I guess that’s why my mom always gets worried when I’m baking for no reason. Because she knows. 

I sighed, giving my mom a quick text that I was heading over to Ryker’s for a little while. The last time I went, I thought everything was going great before Jasmine talked to me alone. everyone had left to go looking for something and it was just her and I. I was scared of course. We’ve never, ever talked before and from what I’ve gathered she’s really intimidating. 

Her exact words to me were: “If you hurt my brother in any way I will personally murder you.” and that was was it took for me to have an entire mental breakdown for nearly two weeks. I mean, who wouldn’t be scared if someone’s sibling threatened you like that? So, the week before the break, I might have been acting a little weird around Ryker, afraid that I might actually do something wrong or hurt him in any way, which I don’t really see how I could. 

Otherwise, I haven’t really been doing anything. I told Ryker that I would be busy during the break, but really I wasn’t. Only because I do actually have something to do on November 24, and I was already feeling the depression spikes as the day came closer and closer. As for Thanksgiving itself, my mom and I never do anything. Last year we were barely getting used to being in the mental hospital so we didn’t really do anything. This year she’s working so it’ll just be me. Nothing new. 

I made my way down the icy streets, the sun setting faster and faster. It was only getting colder, and I didn’t really have a winter jacket. Just some to wear in the classroom like when it’s freezing in there. So, yeah, I was basically freezing my face off. Not to mention that my mom told me it might snow later tonight since it was already under twenty degrees outside. I wasn’t used to cold weather. 

Once I made it to the bus stop, I snuggled up with my bag on the bench, trying to have some kind of warmth. Also because there were several people (giants) who were going back home from stores or getting off of work. The bus stop was actually used for both humans and giants. The human was a little ways from the huge one that was practically as tall as a skyscraper. Maybe taller. 

My hands were shaky from the cold, but it was only another five minutes before Ryker would come and hopefully I wouldn’t be as cold. Maybe. Hopefully. I don’t know what today has in store for me. All I knew was that I just wanted to wrap myself in a blanket with some hot chocolate and binge watch something on tv. 

Ryker came a few minutes later, smiling and giving a thanks before offering a hand. I threw the bag on first before struggling to get on. It was hard when the ground underneath you was starting to freeze over, but I figured it out after trying for a good minute. 

“You’re freezing.” Ryker told me, cupping his hand just a little. Sure, it was scary to have his fingers closer to me, but still, it was warm. How could I deny something that was practically calling me? 

  “That good?” He smiled, for some reason making sure I was comfortable. But I was not about to complain. I was desperate at this point. I nodded my head, bringing my knees closer to my chest to keep some of my body warmth with me. And yet another reason I hate winter. 

“Thanks again. Sorry for bothering you.” 

I continuously shook my head, hoping he would get the message that it was fine. Plus, I liked going over. Everyone was nice (Besides Jasmine I’m pretty sure she hates me) and never really tried to do anything too crazy with me. It was great. I’m not as afraid anymore, which was a miracle given I thought I could never trust anyone ever again, and I’ve actually made some friends. 

Ryker opened the door to his house, where we found them all watching a movie together. Everyone turned their heads as soon as the door closed behind Ryker. I jumped slightly, but relaxed after a while. Nothing to be afraid of. Dylan’s eyes landed on me, giving a smile and a two fingered wave. I waved back, but I doubt he could see it. 

I was set down on the ground, not entirely expecting to be in a tight hug the second I balanced myself. Lucky bursted out laughing, letting me go, “You are literally the best, Nathan.” I laughed with him, following Lucky into the room. 

——————

I didn’t eat anything. I wasn’t hungry. Of course Ryker tried to convince me to eat something, but I always answered no. Otherwise, dinner was okay. They had Lucky, Angela and I on the coffee table, which wasn’t really too big of a deal. I’m pretty sure Ryker and Dylan just didn’t want to handle any humans while they were eating, and hey, I was not about to say anything about it. There are just some things that will never leave my mind. 

After everyone ate, Dylan and Lucky started playing a game on the tv while Isabelle and Angela were playing hide and seek I’m pretty sure. I just hoped that no one would get hurt, but Ryker quickly reassured me that they would never harm one another. I just had to believe him. Most of his siblings are stuck together like glue. Which is a good thing. 

“It’s supposed to start snowing in a little bit.” Ryker announced, earning cheers from the other room where I was guessing Angela and Isabelle were. I was sitting on the arm rest of the couch by Ryker. I kind of wished that their house was a little warmer, because I was still annoyingly cold, but beggars can’t be choosers. I should have asked to grab a blanket. 

“Nice. Are we gonna go out?” Dylan asked, eyes glued to the screen. I had no idea who was winning, but I think it was him. 

“If you want to.” 

Ryker threw his phone on the other side of the couch, turning his head to the screen. I don’t want to go outside, but I’ll go if that makes things easier. I just don’t want to be in the snow. Reasons. Remember? 

It was about ten minutes later that it did actually start snowing. Angela and Isabelle were begging Ryker to let them outside, which he just laughed to and told them to get jackets on and to bring their hats. Dylan paused their game to go get on a jacket, and Ryker left to go help Isabelle. So I was alone in the living room while everyone was busy to go have some fun. I hated winter. In just three days. I reminded myself. 

What would happen? Would someone else be claimed victim? Something bad always happens during this time. I don’t know if it was just me. It probably was. Everyone else was smiling while I was crying in the corner. It’s how it was in the hospital. They all went outside if they could, and I stayed in my room, under the blankets and shove my face into my pillow to drown out my tears. I couldn’t do that now though. Not when so many people had their eyes on me. Not when a trip back to the hospital was a very viable option for me. I didn’t want to go back. Not because of something… traumatic that happened nine years ago. I should be over it, right? But I’m not. 

There goes one of my depression spells. Great. Just great. At a time like this? I sucked in a deep breath, calming myself down before anyone notices. This was embarrassing. 

Ryker came back into the room, eyes landing on me with an unsure look on his face. He walked up to me, holding a hand out. Was he not going to wear any gloves? He wouldn’t be cold? I stood up, keeping my balance on the soft surface underneath me and walking to climb onto his hand. 

“You don’t mind if I just keep you in my hand, right? I don’t want you to be freezing.” He asked. I shook my head, sitting down in the middle of his palm. That was actually what I preferred. I did not plan whatsoever to go into the snow anyways. 

Once everyone was outside, Ryker sat down on the stairs, cupping his hand and keeping me close. A little uneasy about it, but there was really no reason to be. It’s just instinct. And everything in me right now is saying to get the hell inside. But I wasn’t going to say that. Mostly because I don’t want to be alone.  

They were all screaming and laughing. It was snowing pretty hard too, already covering most of the frosted grass just after ten minutes. Other people were also sitting outside. Their kids playing around with the snow. I tried not to focus on that. Instead, I found myself scooting back slowly, almost to where I couldn’t see the heavy fall of the white flakes. 

My body was still freezing. It was so much colder than before. Was this how dad felt? The cold pricking at his skin I mean. 

“Nathan?” My thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice above me. I groaned, body shaking and stuffing my hands in my pockets to preserve some of my body heat. I shuddered a breath, trembling. It’s so cold… How could they even be having fun like this? I looked ahead, seeing Dylan helping Isabelle make a small snowman with both Angela and Lucky stuffed in his scarf. This was just another one of my depression spells. 

“Still cold?” Ryker asked me. I took a deep breath, “Y-Yeah…” It came out more like a quiet mumble, and I was surprised that he even heard me. Did he want to help them make a snowman? He probably did. I should just tell him to leave me inside. It would make things a million times easier for everyone. 

Ryker moved his hand a bit, making me worried about what he was trying to do, but he just kept it the same. I wondered why he was going through all this trouble just for me. There was really no point. There was only a couple more months until graduation and then we’d go our separate ways. That’s how it always goes. I’d be alone again, figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. That’s how my story goes. 

“Better?” 

I nodded my head, getting to a comfortable position and decided to just watch what they were all doing. Finishing up the head of the snowman. It was comfy even though I was kind of scared from being in someone’s hand. At least now that is. Currently I was just afraid of falling into the deep snow. I’m pretty sure if I fell I’d sink into it. Not something I would like to see or imagine. 

“You okay?” Ryker asked, softly smiling above me. There was no other response other than to nod. I couldn’t just say no. That wouldn’t do any good. But.. maybe if he notices that these next few days would be hard for me. Maybe. Just maybe. I doubt it though. I don’t plan on being here all of the time anyways. I couldn’t. 

Isabelle finished the snowman, grabbing some loose twigs for arms as they stepped back. It was still snowing, just not as much. Was dad watching me right now? Was he shocked just as much as I was? I never thought I’d ever be able to be around another giant for as long as I had lived, and here I am, sitting in one of their hands. Would he think I was crazy? Delusional? Psycho? Happy like my mom even? I would never know, but even I think I was crazy. 

Actually… why did I even trust Ryker? Or really anyone. They’re all so nice of course, but about four months ago I was so sure that every giant would only hurt me, and it almost became true with that lunch incident that felt like forever ago. So why did I trust these people with my life? In the back of my mind I keep thinking that this was all just a sick joke being played on me. But… I don’t think these people are lying about anything. They don’t have a reason to. And Ryker’s been nothing but patient, and kind, and… understanding. No one would go through all that trouble just to fool someone as gullible as me. 

I sighed, snuggling up closer to Ryker’s thumb and watching Isabelle throw snowballs at Dylan who was shielding Lucky and Angela from the crossfire. Was it scary being there? In the midst of everything? Having to trust someone at least fifty times your size to keep you safe? I sucked in a shaky breath, just watching. It wasn’t so bad really. 

———Ryker———

Today was November 24. Thanksgiving was here, and everything was a complete mess. I never learned how to make a turkey like the tradition, so usually I just made something that all of us had liked. Along with that, I had to make sure no one did anything too crazy while I was busy in the kitchen. Jasmine and Dylan were helping out cooking while I ordered something for Lucky and Angela. They both agreed on pizza (Because what else does a fourteen year-old and a four year-old want) so now I was busy with that. That part was mostly because Angela didn’t like when Lucky cooks something different. 

It was just pure chaos now. Everyone was running around the house, and at that point I had to ask Jasmine to keep an eye on Angela to make sure she didn’t wander off where we couldn’t find her. I wasn’t too worried about Lucky since he’s almost always with Dylan, plus he’s smart enough to stay off the floor when it’s something like this. 

I took out the lasagna, letting it cool down before making separate plates. Yeah, I know, super weird, but I can’t do anything better. I only know the basics thanks to my parents, and that was all I needed to know. 

There was a knock on the door, and I asked Dylan to open it. It was just the pizza. I washed whatever dishes I had and called everyone that dinner was ready. It’s days like this where I wished that my parents never left. I feel like I can never be like them even though I was the oldest. I mean, was I just supposed to let CPS split us all apart? I couldn’t do that. My siblings would never forgive me. I like to think that they’re all happy, but I doubt it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything to help any of them. Like I’m doing this “parenting” thing all wrong. Of course I was. I was seventeen in my last year of high school taking care of five kids on my own while also juggling a job and trying to do fun things with them so we can forget about what happened a little over a year ago. There was no reason for one person to be doing all of this. 

It was snowing outside again. Not really surprising when you’ve lived here for your entire life. It was really nice though. I loved the cold. Weird, because most people don’t, but I do. I remember my parents freaking out when I would just be outside making a snowman in just a short sleeve and sweatpants when I was a kid. Of course it was so cold it burned, but I guess I kind of liked it? It was hard to explain. Or sometimes we’d stay inside and watch movies or play a game. I missed it really. 

“Ry.” Jasmine snapped her fingers in front of me to get my attention. I blinked a couple times before giving a clueless look. She groaned, “I asked if I could go shopping tomorrow, I have work the next three days so I just wanna go do something.”

“Oh, um, sure.” 

The tv was playing in the background, but I wasn’t paying attention. Come to think of it, I don’t think I was paying attention to anything. Dylan, Jasmine, and Lucky were all laughing about something. What were they laughing about again? Something about going back to school? I don’t even want to think about that right now. I needed a break anyways. Most of my classes love giving me piles and piles of work anyways. 

I sighed, pushing away my plate that I had barely eaten. The sun has already set, everyone was done eating, Angela asked Jasmine if she could go outside in the snow. She said yes, and so Isabelle followed. Dylan and Lucky were helping me wash the remaining dishes. Honestly I already felt so tired. It was only 8 p.m but my eyes threatened to close at any moment. 

“You okay, Ry?” Dylan asked, putting a plate up in the cabinet. 

“Yeah.” I replied, handing him another to dry. Lucky shook his head while continuously saying “no” over and over again. At some point Dylan grew tired of it and pressed the pad of his thumb into Lucky’s entire upper half of his body. 

“He’s not wrong. You’re always like this on holidays.” 

“I am?” I sighed, not really knowing how to get out of this one. These two have always been vigilant anyways. They would have noticed at some point. 

“Yeah.” 

“I don’t know. I just feel really tired today.”  

“That’s it?” 

“Mhm.” 

Dylan gave me a skeptical look before putting in another plate. He doesn’t believe me. I don’t think he ever will about these kinds of things. 

“Why don’t you call Nathan? You always seem happier around him.” 

I stopped only for a second, then continued to scrub off something on the pan I used. No. I won’t call him. Not this time. No matter how many times he’s actually made me feel better just by being here. I’ve noticed I was happier around him too, but it’s only short lived since he always goes back at the end of the day. Do I know why I was happier? Not really. I’ve thought of a few reasons. Because he’s the only friend I’ve made since middle school. He listens to me ramble on and on about the most useless information. Best of all he’s really nice. Doesn’t really seem like he’s tricking me either. Not that I think he could even if he wanted to. He was too sweet. 

“No.” I sighed. Cleaning out the sink and handing off the last dish. 

“Why not?” Dylan asked leaning against the counter. 

“Cause I’m tired. No point in calling if I’m just going to fall asleep,” I countered, drying my hands and heading to my room, “Make sure Isabelle and Angela are asleep by 10? Please?”  

Dylan nodded his head, I closed the door behind me and buried myself under the covers of my bed. I can’t keep on relying on Nathan to come fix every problem I have. He’s probably off dealing with whatever he’s doing right now anyways. But still, my hand reached for my phone, grabbing it and opening the messages app. I’m just gambling with myself at this point. If he answers in the next ten minutes I’ll ask to call, if he doesn’t, I’ll head to sleep. Either way it’s really a win-win. And here it goes. 

———Nathan———

I was laying on my bed, under the covers. No lights, no sounds, just nothing. I had cried earlier this morning when I visited his grave. My eyes were dry now. Red and puffy. I just sat curling in on myself while clutching the same teddy bear he gave me when I was still just a kid. It was childish, but if it’s all I have left of him then I’m taking advantage of that. 

Ironic, huh? How this holiday was supposed to bring family together. It was actually the opposite for me. Even though he didn’t actually die on this holiday, it’s just ironic how it happened this year. When we’re finally free and live like a “normal” family now. Was he watching me now? Sad and lonely in my bed? I hope he wasn’t. He’d scold me. 

My phone went off, but I didn’t feel like looking at it. It’s not like I wanted to be alone. Usually my mom would cheer me up by taking my mind off of it. Whether it was playing some makeshift game or just doing something I liked with me. What else was there to say? This year was the year I was completely alone. 

I sucked in a deep breath, picking up my phone with sore arms. I spent most of the day digging out the old flowers on his grave and replacing them with new ones. It was hard to do when a thin sheet of snow was covering most of the dirt and grass, but it was worth it to see the bright a beautiful colors. His favorites were lilacs. I remember mom telling me that. 

My eyes shot up when I saw who texted me. Ryker? I mean it was already night, so I doubt he was going to ask if I wanted to go over. But… I was kind of curious now. 

Ryker: Hey

Ryker: How was your day? 

Ryker: You’re probably doing something right now but I’d just thought I’d check what you were doing 

Sent five minutes ago. Why did he want to know what I was doing? It seemed weird to me, but maybe he was just bored. Did they celebrate? I hope they did. They seem to be happy with each other. 

Nathan: It was okay :) 

Nathan: And yours? 

Ryker: Chaotic

Nathan: Oh 

I wasn’t technically lying. My day was okay despite crying for most of it. 

Ryker: Yeahhh 

Ryker: Do you feel like calling? 

Ryker: You don’t have to of course 

I thought about it. It wouldn’t be that bad. Might keep my mind occupied.

  Nathan: Sure 

And so he called. 

“Hello?” His voice sounded tired and sad, like he just woke up or something. I couldn’t find my voice. It’s become rasp from sobbing anyways. It’d be embarrassing for it to sound like that over the phone. So hopefully it’ll get better in the morning. 

“Oh, right,” He sighed, “Sorry. I just felt like talking and usually you listen. You can just hang up if you don’t want to though.” He sounded nervous, but I didn’t want to hang up. Not only because it was the wrong thing to do, but because I always loved listening to what he was saying. No matter how irrelevant it was. It distracted my mind from everything wrong with me. And he seemed to like it when I did. 

Nathan: I’m listening 

I heard him let out a little chuckle before talking. I could hear at some points it sounded like he was going to cry, and some he sounded like he was so hurt, and sometimes he’d laugh. He changed the subject multiple times, but I kind of liked it. I just wished I could help in some other way. It sounded to me like he was stressed out and just wanted someone to be there, and I’m surprised none of his siblings were. Or maybe they were, but he just doesn’t want to put all of this on them. It seemed like something he would do. 

By the time he was done, it was an hour before midnight. Funny thing was, I wasn’t tired anymore. I was putting together pieces in my mind still about everything he had talked about. How he was mentally tired of juggling five things around at once. I would be too if I were him. How he’s been more and more exhausted by the end of the day. How his parents usually did all of these kinds of things. I was going to ask what happened to them, but I feel like that was a touchy subject. Especially when he just vented to me. I don’t mind though. Not at all. 

“Oh crap. Sorry for keeping you up.” Ryker apologized, saying sorry about five times before I texted him that it was okay. I wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. 

“Thanks. Y’know. For listening.” I heard him yawn on the other side. He was the one tired. I silently laughed to myself, hugging the bear closer to my chest. If only he could see me now… this was embarrassing. He’d probably make fun of me for it. I wouldn’t care. 

“You’re too nice, you know that?” I heard shuffling on the other side of the phone. Probably Ryker getting ready to go to sleep. And I know this was selfish, but I didn’t want him to hang up. I didn’t want my mind to realize that I was alone again. Was is it really selfish then? To me, yes. It feels like I was making him do something he didn’t want to. 

“Hey, um, remember when you tried hugging me that one time? Why’d you do it?” He had asked, and I could practically see his face. Confused and happy at the same time. He was talking about when I had to stay overnight. I knew that would come up eventually, just not so soon. 

Nathan: Nobody’s ever been so nice to me before. Besides my mom of course 

Nathan: But I was kind of shocked you agreed without complaining 

Nathan: Are you mad about it?

“Mad? Nononono. Um, the complete opposite really,” He laughed quietly, “I was shocked, yeah, but happy too.” 

That gets rid of the guilt. I swear I thought I ruined everything between us, but now I know what he really thought. He wasn’t mad at me for anything. 

“What about the other day? When it was snowing. You looked comfortable. Like you were about to sleep.” My cheeks started blushing from embarrassment. I had hoped he didn’t see me snuggling closer into his palm to stay warm, but apparently he did. So embarrassing. I groaned quietly to myself, tightly hugging the bear closer. 

Nathan: Sorry 

Nathan: I was cold 

Nathan: You were warm 

Nathan: Sorry again 

It was silent for a second. 

“Why do you apologize for things like that?” 

I didn’t know the answer to that question. Usually my mind just takes over and then I spiral into the worst possible scenarios. So I have no idea why I do. Maybe because my brain thinks I’ll get hurt if I don’t? My body was scared of getting another broken bone or something getting hurt? 

Nathan: I don’t know 

It was silent again. 

“Do… do you like being around me? I-I mean most people stop talking to me as soon as they get what they want. So, I was just wondering.” His voice sounded hurt. Obviously this ha sharpened once or twice to him. And it hurt to hear that these things have happened to someone so amazing. I could never do that to Ryker. It’d hurt me more than it’d hurt him. 

“Y-yes.” I almost immediately replied, my voice a little raspy. It hurt to speak, but it was fine. It’ll get better in time. 

I heard him let out a sigh of relief, and I smiled. I was finally doing the right thing for once in my life. I’m kind of glad this was how the day ended. 

“I would give you a hug if you were here… and if you were comfortable enough with it,” We both laughed quietly, “I’ll let you go to sleep. I’ve kept you up long enough.” 

I shook my head, forgetting that he wasn’t here to see it. I didn’t want him to go. Then again he sounded exhausted. Then I would be the one keeping him up. Or he doesn’t even have to stay awake. Just the knowledge that I knew he was just on the other side of the phone was enough to make me feel like I wasn’t alone. 

“U-Um you d-don’t have to s-stay up b-but could we stay… stay on call? P-Please.” I waited for an answer, biting my tongue for stuttering so much. My body was shaky for no reason. I was nervous. He was going to say no. He was going to say no. He was going to- 

“I would love that.” 

I wish he could see the smile I had on my face. How fast my heart was beating. I laid down under the covers, getting comfortable and staring at my phone that read: Ryker: 3:14. Three hours and fourteen minutes. Another seven won’t hurt. 

“Thank you.” 

I fell asleep a couple minutes after he did. No nightmares haunted me tonight.

—————————————

My heart is meltinggggggg

By the way, this was not the great scene I was talking about. This was just one of many to make the one I actually want to write make sense.

Anywayssss I told you guys it would be a little plot heavy for a while! I loved how this chapter came out though.

Hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading! Love you guys!

#g/t #g/t writing #g/t community #sfw g/t #giant/tiny #g/t comfort #g/t fluff #restoration #oc: nathan #oc: ryker #oc: dylan #oc: lucky #No because why does my mind do this to me #Oh nooo I gave the both trauma #It’s for the plot I swear #I have the greatest idea ever #But it’s also gonna make me cry #WHY DID I DO THIS???!!! #GRAHHHH #love you guys ❤️

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N ::: @katkitkats and I talked about this about a week ago. I'm sorry this took me so long, Kat. I know it's a lot shorter than what I was anticipating. Ha, isn't that some shit. I DIDN'T write something freakishly long. Jesus. How weird. Anyway, I hope you like it, Kat. <3 As always, thanks for discussing your ideas with me

C/W ::: Timeskip Hanma x depressed F.reader, talk of feeling worthless, mention of leaving - I don't mean suicide, I just mean like, literally going away/leaving.

Hanma is uncharacteristically sweet and compassionate in this piece. Do I think he could ever be capable of such feelings? Honestly? I can see it happening but he's got a lot of growing up to do first.

WC ::: 1,284

Cry Until You Laugh

For Kat

The light from outside was an assault on your eyes that you would not soon forget. Or forgive, for that matter. Hanma pulled back the blackout curtains in favor of the light yellow embroidered sheers to filter the world from your sensitive disposition.

"It looks like it's going to be a warm day. What do you think about going for a rid-" You met his question with a loud groan and rolled over, pulling his pillow over your face. "Ok. So no ride along the coast. Noted. But you know you should at least-" He started again.

"Try to get outside. Yes, Shuji. I know. Thank you." You said softly, despite interrupting him. You knew that he was only trying to do his best for you. For the both of you. "But I think I'd like to stay in. You know how I feel about that fiery fucking thing in the sky. I hate it."

That drew a soft laugh from him. "Hana, what am I going to do with you." You knew what he meant but you just couldn't help yourself.

"It's recycling day, is it not? Just put something decent on me and sit me at the curb. Let the city handle the rest."

"Han- hana. Don't talk like that. Please? I'm never going to ... to do whatever the fuck you're talking about. Now come please. I have to get you up and running and then we’re going out. What sounds good for breakfast?"

You pulled the pillow the rest of the way from your face and flipped it behind your head, sitting at a comfortable incline. The look on Hanma's face was absolutely heartbreaking. He shouldn't have to be dealing with this shit. With you. It made you feel bad, knowing you were such a burden on everyone that has stuck by you up to this point.

Normally, you'd make some offhand comment about how a bowl of shredded glass and bleach would be all you'd need for the morning. But there was a noticeable sadness that was almost heavier in Hanma's eyes than in your own. It made you want to cry. But then that would only make him feel bad. And that was just one more thing you never wanted for him. You were sad enough for the both of you.

"Hana ... please? I know you feel like there are better things to do, but it's important to take care of yourself, baby. Don't you want to show the world how beautiful you are." He chuckles as he says the last part. "Eh, I know you don't care. I know you don't."

Hanma helps you up off of the bed and helps you walk to the bathroom. He lifts you up and sets you on top of the counter and pulls out the brush to run it through your hair. It's been hard for him, this experience with you. He loves you with every piece of himself. But sometimes he doesn't know how to act around you. You're a loose canon sometimes and if he says or does something that can set you off, there's no telling how long you'll be on that downward spiral.

"Hey... Look at me. It's going to be okay. We'll take some time just for us today." He tips your face up so you're looking at him. His amber eyes are glowing in the morning sunlight.

How, you wonder, can one person be everything when you are nothing.

He manages to take care of things and makes sure you do the bare minimum on top of everything else. It's so fucking exhausting being you.

Sometimes you play the "If I just left" game. But you would never leave him like that. You don't think, anyway.

"Look at me." His tone shifted from soft to commanding. "I mornings are hard for you. I know this morning is hard for you." As he notices you're not responding, he brings his face close, and caresses your cheeks, to make you see him as he stares at you sharply. 

His reassurances are your downfall. You can tell him no over and over again. Tell him to fuck off until you're blue in the face. But he'd only tell you that blue looks really pretty on you.

"I love you." You break down in tears.

He holds you tightly, shushing you softly. "I'm here. I'm here, baby. I'm not leaving. I promise. I'll stay as long as you want me to stay. I'm not going anywhere." He whispers softly to you as he gently runs his fingers through your hair. "It's going to be okay."

You feel so stupid and vulnerable right now. You just want to crawl in a hole and disappear. But Hanma won't let that happen.

He helps you get ready for the day and takes you to the kitchen for breakfast. You hate it when he cooks for you. It makes you feel like a child. But he insists and you're just too fucking tired to argue.

After you eat, he helps you put on your shoes and a light jacket before grabbing his keys and wallet. He opens the front door and lets you walk out first before following behind you.

The sunlight was damn near blinding. You hadn't been outside in weeks and the fresh air felt foreign.

Hanma takes your hand and leads you to his car. You can already feel the anxiety starting to shake loose in your chest. It's been so long since you've been out in public. You just hope that no one you know sees you.

The ride to the park is a quiet one. You're still upset and you're trying not to cry again.

When you finally reach the park, Hanma parks the car and comes around to open your door. He offers his hand and you take it.

You walk in silence through the park. The only sound is the crunch of the leaves beneath your feet.

As you're walking, you notice Hanma taking pictures of you. You don't like it but you don't say anything. You know he's just trying to make you feel better.

You both stop at a bench and sit down. Hanma wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you close. "How are you feeling, hana? It's been some time since you've been out like this." He says softly.

"I'm alright." You respond quietly.

"You don't have to pretend with me, baby." He says as he caresses your cheek. "It's okay to not be okay."

"I just... I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't stand how I feel like this. I hate that I'm not able to be normal anymore." You sigh as you lean into his touch.

"You're doing the best you can, sweetheart. You're so brave and so beautiful." He presses a soft kiss to your temple.

"You don't have to keep doing this, you know." You say quietly. "You don't have to keep putting up with me. You can leave if you want."

"I'm not going anywhere, hana. I'm here for you. I love you and I'm not leaving you."

You lean against him as tears start to well up in your eyes. "I don't deserve you."

He stretched his arms above his head. "I know." He whispers as he gently strokes your hair. "Everything in the world, hana. You're worth it. I'll never leave you."

You sniffle as you try to hold back the tears. "I just want to be normal again."

Hanma sighs softly. "I know, hana. But what's the fun in that?"

He looks down and smiles at you.

And for the first time in a long time, you smile.

Really smile.

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @viburnt @arlerts-angel @kazutora-kurokawa

#ask sarah #sarah answers #hanma shuji #shuji hanma #tokyo revengers hanma #tokyo revengers shuji hanma #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo rev angst #tokyo revengers angst #tokrev angst #x reader

[n7punk]

2023 Writing Wrapped!

I think I forgot to do this last year but I was a little burnt out at the time. I had so much fun writing this year I wanted to do a little retrospective/celebration for it (which I encourage everyone to do! Even if you wrote just one fic, take a second to congratulation yourself for accomplishing it).

I wrote 34 fics and updated 118 times this year. Almost half of those were for the Children of the Crystal series (16 fics) but that series was so fun and clocks in at 121k so I'm totally okay with that. If anything, that's a bit of equalizing, because I know my fics are a lot longer on average than most people's since I write a lot of longer AUs (quick math off the top of my head is about half my fics are longer AUs) so now my words-per-fic average is probably a bit closer to usual lol. Actually that got me curious and my average is 20,176 which is honestly lower than I was expecting but still almost certainly higher than average since I've seen a lot of profiles without a single fic that long. Okay I'm a nerd and I did the math and it was only 21,041 before this year which is way more surprising since I really would have thought it was more.

Anyway, I posted 610k words this year between all my fics (though I wrote more in WIPs and upcoming projects). I had so much fun with a lot of the fics I did this year. Children of the Crystal is still a stand out for me, but I'm SO proud of 'the long way down' and I spent the first half of the year pretty feral for each idea as I tore through Hurricane Adora, As Many Lives As It Takes (To Be With You), Superzero, City of Angels, Trade Today For Tomorrow, and CotC of course. February through August I averaged 12 updates a month which is. insane. I updated daily for 12 days in a row in July/August for CotC, and I spent most of that fic series updating every other day.

A lot of that creative energy came from the health stuff that has been bogging me down for a few years (and especially last year) improving, and though I'm still dealing with that, I'm doing a lot better and it has really felt like rediscovering my creative passion. I had a span from like March-ish trhough August I called my "unhinged era" between how feral I was for my ideas, how much I was updating, and just how wild some of those ideas were lol. My slow down at the end of the year came from starting a new job that was very demanding and especially exhausting with my health issues, plus health issues for the rest of my family, but I've still been averaging updating once or twice a week since, so I'm happy with that given everything that has been going on.

Now let's get to the two big ones.

Writing streaks: Definitely not for everyone, but for me they're really motivating and 100% the reason I was able to keep up momentum these last three months with work. I wrote every single day this year. I still can't believe that. Sure, some days it was literally 50 words at the end of the day when I was exhausted, but I also had my highest single-word count day since I started recording them this year at 12,738 on July 18th when I was writing CotC. My previous record was 94 days in a row. 364 is a huge leap. I don't know where I'm going to go with my streak from here. On one hand, it was hugely motivating. On the other, you always want to be careful to prevent burnout. For now, allowing myself to count days where I barely do anything as long as I engage with my WIP seems like a good middle ground since it keeps me motivated and connected to what I'm writing while letting me mostly take time off. I'm exploring more creative hobbies like painting in my free time, though, and as long as I've created that day I don't necessarily feel the need to write, so we'll see if I reconsider my writing streak as a "creating" streak in the future, but for now I'm just going to see how long I can go.

And the final one... my stupid goal.

I can't remember if it was at the end of last year or the start of this one when an anon pointed out how much I had written and I realized I was something like .99% of all Catradora fics on AO3, but my ridiculous goal for this year was to get my fics to 1% of the entire Catradora tag. This goal... I half reached. It takes a bit of explaining.

First, when I first set that goal, I think needed to write twenty-something more fics to reach it. Obviously, I well exceeded that goal at 34 fics, but as I was writing, so was everyone else, so the number of fics I needed to write to reach 1% increased. In the sense of my original benchmark, I definitely passed my goal.

Second, as I write this, AO3 shows there are 11,632 Catradora fics. You can consider 1% of this to be either 116 or 117 depending on rounding. I have 117 She-ra fics, but one of those is a Glimbow fic with no mention of Catradora, so that takes me to 116. However, one of those 116 is tagged as Adora & Catra because it's the CotC fic from when they're small children and meeting for the first time. I consider it a Catradora fic, but it's not actually in the tag and thus doesn't contribute to it. As such, I've fallen short at 115/117, but I really do consider this goal complete for this year given that I passed the initial milestone, the rounding makes the final number debatably 116, and I do actually have 116 "Catradora-centric" fics. That said, I'm very aware those are technicalities and I have a special celebration planned for when I actually, officially become 1% of the tag, so look out for that :) It'll be a great way to celebrate the new year. I'm hoping/planning to do it in the next week or two.

The future: I'm ending this year and starting the next trying to clean up a bunch of WIPs since my fic folder is getting a little ridiculous with the (mostly Outside of the War) one-shots I've written one scene or just a description for, which feels like a really fitting way to end off the year, accomplishing my goals and making everything neat and tidy. I have like 7~ to work though, though my actual goal is maybe 4-5 since I don't want to "force" myself to work on an idea if I'm not feeling it at the second, but I also have a longer AU calling my name, and I don't want to ignore an idea interesting me either... so we'll see, but I'm excited for everything I'm working on right now, and that feels really good. I finished last year in kind of a rough place writing/creativity wise, and I'm finishing this year really excited for everything I did and everything upcoming, so that feels pretty great :)

Thank you to everyone who read and commented this year! I know I ran out of energy to keep up with comments a lot, but they really made me smile so much and I appreciate them so much. Some days they were the difference between the motivation to write 1000 words versus 50. Thanks for another great year!

#fic rambling #ficmeta #mylife

[bawltongue]

ROOMMATES - Pt 1

(jonathan davis x stealth transmasc reader <on t, post op top surgery>. takes place in early 90s, very beginning of korn. reader gets notice by landlord that they will have to share their space with a new roommate- that being jd. despite the readers initial lack of excitement, they get to know each other and develop a mutual liking)

18+ !!!!!!!

warning: substance use, lots of swearing, slurs, brief mention of the film 'cannibal holocaust'

BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Fucking shit!” You sputtered out, woken up from a deep sleep due to your obnoxious alarm. You had the day off, but had forgotten to turn it off the evening prior. You sighed, feeling defeated already. Another day where you’ve been yanked out of slumber nearly suffering a heart attack at 8 AM.

“Great, there goes sleeping in today.”

Getting up from your bed, you groggily stumbled into the kitchen. Might as well prepare a decent breakfast, since you actually have time rather then having to rush to work. You opened up the fridge to scan various ingredients, trying to decide on what you were going to make. You had meant to go grocery shopping a few days ago, but your consistent exhaustion has kept you nothing but work and homebound. The fridge was basically barren and despite your rumbling gut, nothing looked appetizing.

Well, nothing except for your trusty old bong sitting on the counter where you had left it the night before. It still had some ash and weed inside the bowl; even a bit of green still sprinkled in there. You sighed picking it up, mildly disappointed in yourself over how happy the thought of lighting it up made you. Walking out onto your tiny haven of a balcony, you plopped down in one of the plastic yard chairs and picked up the lighter left lying on the ground. Inhaling the comforting smoke, you sat wondering what you could do to postpone going to the grocery store for as long as possible.

“Damn, this is some good ass shit.” You coughed out, already feeling high after a couple hits. Your dealer knew you back in high school as the weird, quiet, androgynous kid. When you had first linked up about a year ago inquiring about buying from him, he thought your transition was ‘cool and interesting’. He always made sure to give you his best product; sometimes he’ll even slide you some free edibles to try.

Finishing up what was left in the bowl, you made your way back inside to fill it back up and get fucked up for the day; only to be inturupted by a knock at your door.

“Shit shit shit.” You anxiously jumped up, racing to shove your bong under the kitchen sink and lighting a candle on your coffee table. You weren’t expecting any visitors, and you had already paid rent for the month a week and a half ago; what’s the fucking deal?

Another impatient sounding knock at the door.

“Coming, I-I’m coming!” You stumbled over to the door, opening it without even thinking to look through the peephole. Lo and behold, your landlord, Lily, was waiting with a hand on her hip and a raised eyebrow.

“Do I have to remind you for like, the billionth time that you can’t be smoking? You’re gonna get me in trouble, Y/N.” She said half seriously, half nonchalantly. You’ve had this conversation so many times, all she can really do at this point is wag her finger and pretend to care.

“Shit, you can smell it?”

“Not this time, but your eyes give it away.” She snickered, gesturing at your face. “Anyways, that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about. I have news, and you’re either gonna be excited or pissed at me. Probably pissed. Either way, it’ll be your problem, not mine.” She crossed her arms and took a step closer.

“You’re scaring me, Lily. Like, that just made me so anxious. Just give it to me straight.” You braced yourself, crossing your arms in front of your chest and holding onto your shoulders. You honestly didn’t know what to expect at this point. You’ve been residing in the same complex for close to 2 years now, so aside from the occasional drama from the room above you or malfunctioning of appliances; surprises weren’t something that occurred often at all. You were almost hoping for her to say something a little outlandish. Life had felt so redundant lately.

“Alright. You want it straight? I’ll give to ya. Finances are… rough, to say the least. I can’t keep up with what I’m charging you for rent. So I’m raising it-“

“What? Are you kidding? You know I’m in a shitty situation myself, I can barely afford an eighth of grass. I’m paying for my hrt, come on, dont do this to m-“

“Y/N, chill. You ain’t even let me finish my sentence. Why would I mention you’d be excited if I was just gonna double the rent on you? You think I’m a monster?” She looked mildly offended. Her assurance made you relax your shoulders a bit.

“Anyways; I’m raising the rent and you’re going to be splitting it with a new roommate. I think he’ll be a perfect match for you, he’s your age, a bit quiet, but-“

“Aw shit… please tell me you’re joking. I don’t mesh well with other people. Especially strangers. Plus, you know my ‘thing’. What if I get hatecrimed? What do you even know about this guy?”

“Enough to be sure he won’t slaughter you. I dunno, he might be a little… you know… queer himself even. Not my business.” She flashed a limp wrist to emphasize her point. It would’ve made you chuckle if you weren’t so disappointed and taken off guard. “Be prepared for your new friend tonight. I already told him he’d probably have to take the foldout couch to sleep in.”

“Whatever.”

“You know, maybe you should be excited or something. You’re always alone, getting stoned by yourself and shuffling around here like a hobbit. Your life is your life, but you have a shot at making a friend. You’re gonna have to get used to it anyways, because I need money, and you need a place to live. Once I get his payment, I may even be able to fix your hot water problem.” She winked cartoonishly and took a step back. “That’s all I had to say. If you can afford it, go buy some eyedrops.” She said before walking away, unbothered.

You made a disgusted expression at her back before slamming the door shut and pacing to your bedroom to put some normal clothes on. In that moment, you had decided you’d tidy things up a little bit. Sure, you were pissed off and unhappy that you’d have to be sharing your space with a total stranger all of a sudden, but you didn’t wanna feel embarrassed about a mess on top of that. Wasn’t worth fighting fire with fire.

Time felt like no object as you cleaned up; throwing laundry into your crummy little dryer, spraying down the mirror in the bathroom, vacuuming up the ash and crumbs scattered throughout the apartment floor. Before you knew it, you had looked at the clock and it was 4 PM. You had done a damn thorough job sanitizing and tidying.

Damn, I’ve been cleaning all fucking day for some dude I don’t even know. I deserve a medal for hospitality or something.

You looked over at the little coffee table, spotting your lighter.

Or maybe a couple bong rips would suffice.

Packing up the bowl tight with a nice fluffy bunch of weed, you situated yourself outside with a glass of water and got ready to get fucked. Your anxiety was starting to eat at you now that you weren’t occupied cleaning; and what better way to rid yourself of that nagging feeling then to smoke it away?

Time dragged on as you smoked an unforeseen amount of bud. Your eyelids got progressively heavier until they fell and your body gave in to much needed sleep. A sleep that would once again be crudely interrupted, as the slamming of something hitting the floor of your apartment pulled you to your feet in fear. With bloodshot, sleepy eyes you yanked the door from your balcony open and staggered inside.

“The fuck?” Your voice cracked with apparent concern and confusion. In front of the doorway of your abode stood a lanky, and clearly startled man about your age. He had dark dreads, silver eyebrow piercings, and a uniquely handsome face. You scanned him tentatively, trying to figure out in your stoned state of mind if he was a threat or not.

“Sorry, I uh, Lily gave me a key and I didn’t wanna knock in case you were asleep. I didn’t mean to scare ya like that.” He awkwardly fumbled, putting the key in his pocket before outstretching his hand. “I’m Jonathan.”

You exhaled in relief and reached your hand out to shake his. He seemed polite enough, and the fact that he was clearly nervous as well made you feel a bit better.

“Names’ Y/N. It’s cool to meet you, man.” He gripped your hand with more strength then expected. You couldn’t control your eyes. Your gaze went from up his hand to his face and down his body. Taking in his features and clothing choices the best you could. You noticed his dark, friendly eyes. There looked to be a lot of soul behind them. His decrepit black sweater and sweatpants that looked like they’ve been through purgatory. You wanted to keep staring, but didn’t wanna seem weird.

“This is a really nice place, you do a good job keeping it clean I can see.” Jonathan smiled, trying to ease the tension, earning a soft smile back. His crooked teeth caught your eye.

“Thanks. To be honest, I really don’t. I cleaned it all today, went fucking nuts with it.”

“Aww, what? Already trying to impress me and we just met, huh?” He playfully responded, making you blush a bit. Fortunately for you, it was just dim enough so that he couldn’t tell.

“Man whatever.” You laughed tiredly. “Can I help you with anything? You look like you might be strugglin’ a bit.” You looked over to his bags that had fallen all over the floor. One had busted open and his clothes had come flooding out. You noticed a pair of thigh high striped socks and garters. Interesting.

He looked behind him and sighed softly, turning back to you. “Nah, nah… Well… I hate to make this kind of first impression, but would you maybe have sumthin’ to eat? I’m fuckin’ starving.”

You nearly facepalmed. Fuck. I was supposed to go grocery shopping today.

“Shit man, I wish I could say yes. I haven’t eaten all day. I’m hungry m’self.”

“Oh fuck, well… can I buy you something to eat then? It’s like almost midnight but I can get us something from the Kwik Stop across the street.”

You smiled, a bit surprised at the offer. You would’ve said no out of courtesy since you normally don’t like when people buy things for you; but because he was moving into your space, you graciously took him up on the offer. Before leaving, you both moved his bags onto the couch and went on your way. It was pitch black outside. You hadn’t realized how long you’d been out for until he mentioned it was about midnight. Time felt weird.

The Kwik Stop was just across the road from your complex, which was empty due to the odd time of evening. On the brief walk there, you had partaken in some small talk; learning that he had come from Bakersfield, that he enjoyed music, that you both really liked The Cure. He had a very soft spoken and gentle cadence to his voice. Although you weren’t excited by any means to have to embrace a new roommate, it didn’t seem like it’d be necessarily hard to get along. In fact, you found yourself kind of attracted to him which threw you off a bit.

“Feel free to grab whatever you want, It’s on me.” He winked at you and walked off, going straight for the beers in the back. Once you both got what you wanted, you left to run back across the street. The sidelights lit your faces up dully as you waited for cars to cease passing by. "I really appreciate you getting me something to eat."

"Don't worry about it. I really appreciate you being so cool about me staying at your place. I probably would've beaten the shit out of me the way I showed up earlier." He chuckled softly. Jon's gaze was soft, his eyes looked like black holes reflecting the small amount of light emanating from the street. You met his fixed look with your own causing him to nervously glance at his feet.

"I gotta be cool with it, right? We're roommates now. If anything, I'm surprised you didn't peace out when my stoned ass came bumbling through the door at you. Was kinda embarrassing."

"Naw, it was sorta endearing." You didn't even have a moment to respond before he grabbed your wrist and pulled you toward the street. "C'mon, let's head out." He kept your wrist in his grasp as the two of you speedwalked across the road. You had been caught up staring at Jon's face rather than paying attention to the cars. He let go of you once you reached the other side. "Whew, let's fuckin' eat."

You walked up the stairs and unlocked the door to your apartment, letting you both in. Jon plopped down on the couch and instantly started ripping apart the wings he had bought. He looked up at you with full cheeks and patted the space next to him. You sat down somewhat guardedly, slurping at the slushy you got. As you both ate and drank your respective food and engaged in chitchat, it was easy to tell that sleepiness was becoming palpable. Your eyes kept fluttering closed as Jon would try to continue engaging in conversation. You had been sitting and talking for over an hour now.

"Y/N, you oughtta go to sleep." He snickered staring at you, his head in his hand. "I can tell you're exhausted."

Your eyes peeled open, dark circles encompassing them. "I guess I should. Fuck, I'm so tired. I'm sorry. I wanted to try and vibe a bit more but-"

"Go to bed. We'll have plenty of time to talk tomorrow. I just like your company, it's why I won't shut the fuck up." A sleepy smile plastered on his face. You groggily got up and made your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth before passing out on your bed. Too tired to change out of your day clothes, but not too tired to unplug your alarm clock.

As the next couple days and weeks passed, you and Jonathan got to know each other better. Developing a friendship where you could be both serious when necessary, but poke fun at each other as well. You took space when you needed it but found that you both enjoyed each other's energy. Jon became more talkative as the days went on, and the two of you found it easy to intently listen to each other. He had told you about the band he was in and how they're working on their first album; even invited you to their next rehearsal. You were becoming somewhat close pretty fast. It'd been a bit difficult to continue suppressing the full on crush you developed on him throughout your time together. You kept covering it up by teasing and making fun of him in subtle, friendly ways. He did the same, but you assumed it was his way of being friendly.

In the midst of a pretty serious conversation about childhood and the lyricism behind the songs Jon had been working on with his bandmates; you ended up disclosing the fact that you're trans to him. You had gathered from multiple discussions and his experience with being perceived as queer that he wouldn't be distasteful about it. Fortunately, you were right. He found it to be very interesting and admirable. You were the first trans person he'd met. He was very open to being educated on the subject. Every now and then a new question will pop into his mind that he'll ask you; some a bit invasive, but all in a genuine attempt to better understand and sympathize with you. You came to learn he was a very open minded individual. After you came out to him, he insisted on giving you an almost uncomfortably long hug. Almost, but more than anything it was a very meaningful gesture. Ever since then, you found yourselves embracing and having sentimental moments a little more often. It was nice to finally have somebody to confide in about your personal life and vice versa. Friends, dates, socializing in general hadn't exactly been a tangible thing since you moved away from home.

At this point, it had been about a couple weeks since he had initially moved in. At the end of a very long workday, you had planned to head over to the Kwik Stop together and grab slushies. This time, on you. Work hadn't ended until 9:30, which left you getting back to the apartment around 10 PM. Jonathan was waiting eagerly when you got back. The moment you opened up the door, he sprung up from the couch and walked over to you. “Let’s get outta here!” He pushed past you, grabbing your wrist and tugging you along. He got into the habit of dragging you places by your wrist like that. You didn’t get the chance to even say hello, let alone change out of your work clothes.

After picking out your ridiculous sized slushies, you headed back to the apartment and finally had the opportunity to change into something more comfortable. You grabbed a random oversized t-shirt and pair of sweats from the dryer, swiftly throwing them on before exiting your room to join Jon on the couch. Looking up at him, you noticed a cheeky smile plastered on his face.

You sneered, raising an eyebrow. "What's your damage?"

"Nothing. You're just wearing my shit." He pointed a finger at you, still smirking. He proceeded to take an obnoxiously loud sip from his drink, not breaking eye contact. You looked down at the clothes you had mindlessly tossed on to find he was right.

"Oh, uh, shit. My bad. I thought-I didn't even realize. I'll go change real quick."

"You shouldn't. It looks good on you." He very obviously scanned you up and down. A hot blush spread rapidly across your face. You both locked eyes for a few silent moments before he spoke again. "You're turning red."

"Man shut the fuck up." You sputtered out, flustered and unable to hide the smile on your face. "That's gay as hell." You were never very good at accepting compliments.

"That ain't a problem with me." Jon snickered and bit his lip looking quite satisfied with himself. You plopped next to him on the couch and flipped the television on. Out of the corner of your eye while channel surfing, he was making it pretty apparent that he was gawking at you. You had your gaze fixated on the tv and tried to play it cool; despite your heartbeat growing louder in your ears. Jonathan interrupted your aimless search for something to watch by letting you know he had a VHS tape he wanted to show you. You hesitantly agreed as he sprung up and grabbed it from one of his bags, popping it into the player.

"It's called Cannibal Holocaust." He casually sat back down, a little closer to you then before.

"Jonathan, what the actual fuck are you making me watch right now?"

"Don't worry, it's all fake. Mostly. If you get scared, I'll protect you." He playfully patted your head and chuckled, turning his face towards the screen. Every time he touched you, whether it was a tiny tap, a hug, a fist bump, a gentle hand on your waist to get by you; it always made butterflies arise in your stomach. As the movie played on, you found yourself progressively more disturbed and unsettled. Every now and then, Jon would turn his head toward you to check your reactions. You thought it was pretty cute, but with him doing so, felt compelled to try and force a stone-faced expression. That was, until a particular scene involving a turtle shocked your system.

"OH SHIT!" You jumped in disgust and fear, spilling your giant, now melted slushie all over the couch. Jon couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"You fucking weirdo, where are you gonna sleep tonight now?" you snapped in a mildly annoyed tone. He wiped a tear from his eye from laughter, glancing down at the sticky mess.

"Damn... Guess I'll curl up on the floor?" He got up to go grab paper towels from the counter. You took a deep breath and got up to turn the VHS player off. You felt a little bad for raising your voice at him.

"Nah, nah. I'm sorry, that was totally my fault. You can sleep in my bed... I-I wouldn't mind."

He gladly accepted as you both proceeded to get ready to go to sleep. Brushing your teeth, setting up his one pillow and bracing yourself for what you hoped to be a casual, non awkward evening. He walked into your room from the bathroom with nothing but a pair of dramatically short, tattered boxers on. You couldn't help but gawk at his figure; he was so much hairier than you imagined. Almost made your mouth water. He excitedly crawled under the covers next to you and faced you, a cheesy grin on his face.

"Taking it to the next level now, are we?" He winked.

"You're dumb." You laughed tiredly. Your faces were inches away, causing you both to subtly turn red. "You've been acting so gay lately."

"Yeah yeah, haw haw, Imma fag... Can you blame me? We've been spending so much time together. I'm starting to like- well I dunno. Nevermind. We gotta sleep." He closed his eyes and began cartoonishly snoring. 'Honk shoo, honk shoo'. It made you snicker.

"No, you can't do that, Jon. Tell me what you were gonna say. I promise I won't be a douchebag about it." You inched closer, getting in his face. Your mutual sleepiness causing your walls to come down a bit. He opened one eye, lips curling into a smile seeing you so close to him.

"I don't wanna make things weird, Y/N. We're sleeping in the same bed tonight." The anticipation of waiting for him to say what you thought he was going to was killing you. You were both sweating. A brief stretch of silent thought ensued until you interjected.

"You have a crush on me or something?" You tried to keep a casual, somewhat playful tone, but your voice came out shaky. His eyes bulged a bit, looking away from you. He sighed dramatically.

"You know, I played that movie kinda hoping that you'd get scared and like, grab my hand or want me to put my arm around you or something. I didn't expect you to dump liquid diabetes all over the couch... and now we're laying in the same bed... and I feel more awkward about telling you this then I thought I would..." He trailed off hesitantly. You hadn't even realized you'd been holding your breath since he started talking.

"Just say it." You impatiently spat out. His eyes fixed back onto yours, both of you using the blanket to cover your faces from the nose down.

He laughed awkwardly; "Peer pressure... I think I've made it obvious enough, right?... I really like you. Like, I'm crushin' on you a fuckton. I think you're really fuckin' cute, Y/N." He almost whispered out. Your smile stretched across your face so wide that your eyes squinted almost completely. You saw the smile in his eyes as well, as you both remained stuck in each other's gazes. You couldn't come up with a response due to your surprise and the surgency of emotions. Time seemed to stretch on forever as you affectionately stared into one another's gazes. Jon hummed thoughtfully to himself, debating on whether or not to interject the silence.

"Can I kiss you?" Jon softly asked. You nodded your head enthusiastically, prompting him to scoot closer to you until your lips weren't even a centimeter apart. He placed a gentle hand on the side of your face and leaned in, placing a tender, somewhat quick kiss on your lips. You couldn't hold back your childish giggle.

"So I take it I didn't make things weird?" He chuckled, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

"No, no. I'm actually really happy you said something. I'm kinda surprised. I uh, I like you too. A lot. If that wasn't apparent... and yeah, I also think you're cute. Very cute." You made the bold, sleep deprived decision to move your hand onto his bare waist, making him slightly twitch in pleasant surprise.

"Careful now. You're gonna give me a boner."

"Man you're so fucking dumb." The both of you laughed as you gave him a light, playful slap on the cheek. The rest of the night was spent sprinkling soft kisses on each other's faces and lazily making out. The romantic tension that had been building finally burst with your mutual confessions. Jon kept trying to spoon you throughout the evening, but in your exhausted state, you couldn't help but toss and turn. Every now and then, you'd feel a kiss on the back of your neck, or his hand resting on your waist. You could tell already that touch was his love language. Before you finally fell asleep, you ended up having to accept your nightly fate of being swallowed up in his arms. His chest hair tickled the back of your neck as he kept you pressed up against him. It was a much safer and cozy feeling then you were expecting. You had never felt so comfortable with the touch of another person before. It was one of the most restful, satisfying nights' sleep you had since you could remember.

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