#anyways when the only thing of value you can lose is your own life all you have is a very boring story

[saturnsbabyboii]

🐸Astro Observations Since School is About to Start🐸

🐸 Taurus and Leo are indistinguishable from one another. They both love the finer things in life and value self care and a hedonistic style of living. Besides they both have that regal star quality (Think of Audrey Hepburn and Lucille Ball). The only difference is that Taurus takes the slow and steady route to attain such lifestyle and Leo prefers to take risks and a gamble. Anyways ✨OPULENCE✨

🐸 4th house Aquarius/9th house Cancer people might be out of place within their immediate families but find themselves at home among strangers or while traveling.

🐸 Lilith (h12, h13, or h21) Conjunct Chiron are strong indications of sexual exploitation (and possibly abuse). These natives could be taken advantage of by people in powerful positions. Even after displaying their truth, they would be faulted and persecuted while their abuser get celebrated. They could very will be victims turned villains.

🐸 An unaspected Juno suggest a lack of desire for marriage or committed relationships.

🐸 Pluto in the 1st house might have a distinctive scar or birth mark.

🐸 Although people dunk on harsh aspects, I personally view them favorably. These aspect are strong indications of perseverance, resilience, power, intelligence and grace. People with more Squares and/or Oppositions in their chart are capable and self aware, all the challenges they face early on bring them a better and higher understanding of the world, and not to mention, many rewards down the line.

🐸 With that being said, people with Ceres Opposite Moon might be particularly hard on themselves. Believing that they would be a burden and that they hold responsibility to keep it together for others, they don't ask for help nor do they accept it when it's offered. It's important for them to practice gratitude and self appreciation.

🐸 Vesta aspecting few personal planets suggests a person with a one track mind, or a very narrow view of their own life and purpose. However, someone with multiple aspects made between Vesta and personal planets suggests someone with turbulent and changing prospects.

🐸 Conversely, someone with no (or only one) aspects made to their Vesta might not care about the meaning of life or simply take an easy going point of view towards things.

🐸 Moon in a harsh aspect to a harmoniously aspected Venus and/or Mars are people that have all the qualities of a good partner but can't seem to commit or make up their mind regarding their relationships. This could also be an indication of being happier when single.

🐸 During the last Full Moon in Pisces, my sister that has a Pisces Moon ended up having surgery.

🐸 Placements in Water degrees (4°,8°,12°,16°,20°,24°,28°) suggest karma and karmic debt or relations in the theme of the placement.

🐸 The degree of Venus can also suggest when will you feel comfortable dating authentically. The higher the degree the later in life it'll be.

🐸 Continuing on the theme of degrees, take note of the following degrees in the chart (especially for natal, synastry and solar return). The degrees are

Creation/New beginnings: 0°,4°,21°

Critical: 13°,17°,26°

Destruction: 15°,22°,23°

Completion: 29°

🐸 Check asteroid Bakker (27425) to know more about the circumstances of when you lose your virginity. Bakker means virgin in Arabic. Regardless of your stance or idea regrading the concept of virginity, you might find insight into either your first sexual experience.

🐸 Asteroid Egeria (13) represents the knowledge we learn by giving service or sacrificing in return. The sign it's in represent the kind of information, the house and aspects represent the method, purpose and teacher of this knowledge. For example, I have a friend with Egeria in Aries in the 2nd house, in aspect to Jupiter and Uranus. She learned about money, finance, self esteem, and asset flow through a mentor (Jupiter) and the internet (Uranus). She in return had to manage her money flow and expenses realistically (Aries in the 2nd house).

🐸 Another friend of mine had the asteroid in Sagittarius in the 10th house, in aspect to the ascendant. She learned how her career, image and aspiration are tied to her appearance and approach to things through mirroring (Ascendant). She had to in return manage her authenticity and be careful of who and how she express her opinion publicly (Sagittarius in the 10th house).

🐸 It is no surprise that the most common Sun sign among Popes is Pisces followed by Sagittarius. Capricorn is the most common Moon sign. Aquarius is the most common Mercury. Gemini is the most common Saturn, and Pisces, Gemini and Leo share the same spot as the most common sign in Jupiter.

🐸 Saturn in the mutable houses (3rd, 6th, 9th, 12th) might inherit hereditary illnesses. The 3rd and the 9th suggests developmental setbacks, and issues in attachment and communication. The 6th house suggests physical effects while the 12th suggests mental. Even though the 6th house manifests into physical ailments, the 12th house implies hospitalization and chronic illness from a young age.

🐸 The placement of Pisces and Neptune in the houses along with the state of the 12th house and placement of it's ruler can tell many things about someones' dreams. For example, my friend has Pisces in the 2nd house, Neptune in the 1st house, Capricorn in the 12th and Saturn in the 3rd. (Pisces in the 2nd and Ruler of the 12th is in the 3rd house) She dreams a lot about school, even though she is 25, driving, walking around, buying things, talking to people, listening to music and walking around our city. (Capricorn in the 12th) Her nightmares usually have a state of humiliation and shame. She also finds herself in dream where she is feeling helpless. (Neptune in the 1st) She receives messages through a state of 'Deja Vu' and channels it through the prediction of things.

🐸 Moon Conjunct Chiron 🤝 Mommy issues

🐸 The first impression a rising sign leaves is due to the MC than the rising sign alone. The MC rules public image and reputation, as such it influences the way we're seen by people, regardless of whether we know them or not. For example, an Aquarius rising uniqueness and reputation is supported and diversified by its MC. Although in the whole sign system the MC is in Scorpio, using the Placidus system the MC can also fall in Libra and Sagittarius. This showcases how an Aquarius rising can be perceived as a humanitarian in reputation and ethereal in appearance (Libra MC), or as a provoking trailblazer with an edgy and dark appearance (Scorpio MC), or as an enthusiastic advocate with an alienlike appearance (Sagittarius MC).

🐸 North Node in Fire signs have that "main character" energy.

-Thank you for reading. Hope you it resonates and you enjoyed it.

#astrology #astro observations #astrology notes #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology houses #astrology aspects #asteroid astrology #asteroids astrology #astro placements #astro posts #astrology asteroids #astrology posts #astrology signs

[cenorii]

I love Chriskers very much, so I needed a logical explanation for how they could be together again... English is not my native language, so there may be error rates in the text.

AU - SHARDS OF OBSIDIAN

I like to see a character completely fall when he loses everything he had. When his whole existence loses any meaning, and he becomes an empty place. I like to imagine if the character can handle it, or will he prefers oblivion.

He may have come out of shit before, but the total fall that destroyed him as a person is a new experience. Miraculously escaping death once again - which path would you choose? Resurrect again and keep doing things what will not work the third and fifth time? Something you don't see the point of anymore. Or will you try not to step on a rake? New way?

The rose-colored glasses you've been wearing all your life were broken. Lowered from heaven to earth. Ego is stuffed deep in the ass. There is nothing left of your personality, you do not see any value in yourself. You are nobody. And what will you do?

----

March 7, 2009. Chris finished with his sworn enemy, but this information was not reliable, because he made such conclusions knowing only his own truth. He saw it with his own eyes, but did not check. And now he will think so most of his life.

 But Wesker survived. Once in the past, he was proud of himself that he escaped death thanks to a prototype virus. But right now, he only wanted to die like a real loser. But he was stopped by Oswell E. Spencer 's words, spoken to him a couple of years ago.

 -You're the last one from "project W"

 He lost everything, even himself. Everything he believed in was drowned in lava. Nothing made sense, not even his own life. Although, he could not even take an ordinary step towards death, because he was lying exhausted on a piece of land in the middle of lava. Burnt, but unfortunately alive. He no longer felt superior. And anyway... has he ever won? Only Sergei Vladimir, right?

 Uroboros that got into his body during the final battle with Chris and Sheva cannot withstand high temperatures. Therefore, it was burned out of his body, which regenerated with the remnants of his strength thanks to the prototype virus. But even this power had a limit, because after two extra injections made by Chris, the prototype weakened and practically fell asleep in his body, depriving Wesker of his abilities. His body was fighting for life, but his mind did not want to live at all. Helpless, he could not even call himself a shadow of his former self.

Having lost all his strength, he realized how far he was from the God he considered himself to be. It was painful to realize. Weakness, never seen before, so unfamiliar, destroyed the remnants of personality inside his head.

 And the thought came up again.

 -You're the last one from "project W"

 The thought that he was the only one of his kind, the last one, pierced his head and tormented him.

Is there no one left?

He killed Spencer with his own hand, and the rest of the project members died from the prototype virus. But something inside him did not allow him to complete this story.

 Why do you live in the world now?

 His entire body was destroyed from a disorderly regeneration that was only an echo of the previous one. Over time, it also left him. The prototype, finally falling asleep, endowed Wesker with unprecedented side effects, which had previously been restrained by proper injections. Feeling them, he even remembered Lisa Trevor, over whom he no longer wanted to joke. He felt inferior to her. The most insignificant thing in the world.

And so, with an absolutely empty head and hatred for his insignificance, he rises to what is left of his legs. Perhaps his tenacity is the only good quality. He won't be as lucky as he is now. There was nothing more to lose, where would a new page of life take him now?

 His right arm moved erratically as he limped towards the fallen plane, and the remains of his left arm only dangled painfully. Wesker himself did not realize where the parts of his body were and did not immediately discover that something was missing.

"Auto... topagnosia...and alien hand syndrome?"

His head was damaged, but did not stop analyzing. Obsessive analysis, without a single outside thought. However, the damage doesn't the result of the battle, it was caused by regeneration. The prototype has always destroyed weak organisms and now its carrier was the weakest.

What keeps him alive? The thought that if he dies, he won't leave anything behind? Or this disgustingly burning self-hatred? A sense of value because he's the last one? Or maybe... a huge interest, where does it all lead?

 His body was so disfigured that by all parameters it should not have existed in the world of the living. How amazingly he seized on his existence.

"Trust no one" was his motto. In this form, Wesker could not call for help from someone who worked for him. If he wanted to survive now, he could not allow himself to be finished off like a dog knocked down on the road. Therefore, he had to keep his life a secret from everyone.

A clear line has been drawn between this Wesker and the past, because his personality has suffered incredibly.

 If the prototype virus once influenced his psychology, distancing him from everything human, now, freed from the influence of this virus, Wesker resembled an amoeba, because everything in which he was limited is now available again and very much atrophied. Even the desire for revenge did not seethe in him, because allowing himself such an emotion and not experiencing agony was a luxury for him.

 It could have been a redemption story, of which there are quite a few. But this person is not one of those who admit their mistakes. (Now he rather considers himself a mistake.) He not one of those who adequately understands morality, ethics. And what he did cannot be redeemed. This is a story about the complete destruction of man, about how he creates himself anew.

 Did he have a sense of the value of his own life? Probably, he will not spend any more seconds, from the ones given to him by fate, on useless or impossible plans. Because he is the last one.

Now, when his body is working to the limit, he cannot get up on the same rake.

What is its purpose? Survival for the first time. He will return to one of his bunkers, which no one knows about, and lock himself up in solitude.

 It always seemed strange and very limited to me that Alex, trying to create a new body for herself, turned to biology, and not to robotics. Perhaps she would have been more successful if she combined several directions. It is logical that the new Wesker would try something new to help himself, if he's not senile. Therefore, in this situation, he would combine biology and technology. But where does he get the details, even if we imagine that he understands it now? The answer is simple: a new life - a new personality. For starters, he needs equipment. Activity on his accounts would attract the attention of BSAA, so the account he uses must be corporate. It won't be suspicious. Rats are fleeing from the TRICELL ship and withdrawing money?

 When his body regains its working capacity, its next goal will be... nothing unusual. Nothing grandiose. He will become the real embodiment of neutrality, lost in his basement away from everyone. Until he reassembles himself. The fact is that it is not so easy to come up with a new goal in life when your previous goal, which you dreamed about for years, was trampled down, turned into nothing. They showed how imperfect your goal is and how naive you are. Therefore, the best plan for him now is not to have clear goals.

 The side effects that the dying prototype gave him inside may well be incurable. Because of Alien Hand Syndrome, he now and then performs actions that he has not control. And because of autotopagnosia, he has great difficulty perceiving the location of parts of his own body, at first he could not distinguish an arm from a leg, and an eye from a nose. If he were a sentimental person and if he considered himself guilty of something, he would consider it a punishment for everything he had done, but he did not think about it at all. Now he thought exclusively with tasks, logic, because the slightest emotionality caused a severe headache.

Sometimes he suffers from amnesia and loses any information from his mind before that battle in the volcano. He also often forgets this event.

He endlessly writes diaries when memory is restored, so as not to forget anything. In order not to forget that he represented something and perhaps even respected himself.

 Once.

 But not now.

 If Chris had seen him in such a state, he would have laughed, looking at how pathetic he was. He fancied himself a God, but in the end, what did he turn into? In a freak, suffering from senile and an inferiority complex.

 He decided to direct all his knowledge and available information to something that would not be useless than all his previous plans. After all, he no longer spends the allotted seconds on nonsense, right? He needs something reliable.

 On behalf of his fictitious identity, he will contact the BSAA and other organizations, try to cooperate, leaking his data accumulated over many years to everyone. Somewhere he will be listed as an "anonymous informant". However, it was he who gave the information to Chris in 2017. Helping his killer and enemy to... what? As if his damaged brain is trying in every way to signal that they are not finished. He is drawn to a painful past in which he was almost destroyed physically, and completely destroyed as a person.

 Sometimes the prototype virus woke up in his body and regenerated, which prompted Wesker to think that he could still restore his crippled body. To some extent. So he took the remnants of PG67A/W injections from his stash just to try.

It is unlikely that he will be able to visit the Underground Garden in such a state in order to come up with something better from the progenitor virus. And he has no desire to return to the past, he no longer wanted to be tied to a needle. He chose a more practical option – prostheses.

 The PG67A/W caused his body to regenerate by regrowing the destroyed tissue. But this effect was very weak, so it gradually slowed down until it practically stopped. The flesh still, even after 12 years, continues to recover. It slowly grows on top of the prostheses, and the bones, in turn, merge with the prostheses, destroying them. The whole process leaves a lot of scars. Even the damaged head was restored, but the side effects remained with him.

 After many years, he will have to give up prosthetics, because the body will restore itself. And he would have to come up with something else, but he would obviously have a lot of time for that. He has a long life ahead of him. Aging is unlikely to be stronger than the prototype virus.

 I think, closer to 2021, Wesker and Chris will still meet. Not by chance. Chris at first does not recognize in him the one whom he thought he killed 12 years ago. And when he realizes who is standing in front of him, then... However, that's another story.

There is a new danger ahead and it is better to keep enemies closer to yourself, suddenly they will be useful?

- You're pitiful.

- You pity me, Chris?

- No, and I will make sure that you live as long as possible in this world, because life is the best punishment for you right now.

#resident evil #chrisker #Chris Redfield #Albert Wesker #AU #resident evil 5 #resident evil 8

[briebysabs]

Lu Guang is a hypocrite and that’s okay (great even)

I must stand ten toes for this man because I’m noticing the slander that went on in September and I cannot allow it. I know I’m six months late but just bear with me. We are introduced to Lu Guang as a rational, stoic, sort of wise protagonist. The brains of the operation if you will (although Cheng is clever in his own right but that’s a whole other discussion). Qiao Ling and Captain Xiao describe him as more mature. Shiguang’s relationship is strong but it’s structured, especially for their work, to where Cheng has to depend on Lu Guang. Should only do as he says and not do anything impulsive.

And it gets to a point where Cheng doesn’t know what to do without him and when LG isn’t there he relies on his past words to guide him. The thing is, we’ve seen that CXS can come up with great plans and make good decisions without Lu Guang’s voice in his head. Like how he caught Min Liu or planning how save Lu Guang from Li Tianchen. But the story has built LG up so much to be a reliable character so it can’t be untrue. But then the s2 finale happens, Cheng gets shot and Lu Guang loses his mind.

And then the ending basically tells you that he’s been winging it and gambling this whole time. Experimenting with god knows how many timelines, simply using his knowledge from the previous one to see if he’ll get lucky this time. Lu Guang has been playing a crane game. So in a story that is all about mistakes, guilt and regrets. Of showing the imperfections of people. Of showing the struggles of moving forward, of being satisfied with the present. Of sacrificing your sanity, your voice, your desires, and happiness for the people you love. How is this bad writing?

Link click has been tricking the audience to believe Lu Guang is an infallible character.

But Link Click was never about perfect people.

What he’s trying to do is no different from Li Tianchen, one of our antagonists. And I love CXS to fucking pieces but this show raises the question of a life’s value. LG is trying to save Cheng and so refuses to change the past for anyone else. Bc it may alter things and doom CXS in the process and ruin all he’s worked towards. But then you ask yourself, is CXS’s life worth more than the twins' mother? Is it worth more than Chen’s mother? Is it worth more than Emma?

It doesn’t matter because it is to Lu Guang. It’s like the question if your sibling and a mailman are trapped in a burning building but you can only try to save one. Unless they’re the absolute scum of the earth, chances are and possibly even despite that, you’re going to pick your sibling. That don’t mean it’s objectively more valuable than the mailman or you didn’t have sympathy for that person, they have loved ones, hopes and joys too. “Lu Guang is a hypocrite, selfish, unreliable, and a liar” yes he is. Because there is something called ‘flawed characters’. It’s okay for your protagonist to not be the best person. It’s okay to write a protagonist whose trauma has defined some of their actions.

If you’ve been forced to have someone you love die in your arms over and over, why is it surprising that you would lie to them? How is it surprising that you’d try to keep secrets? That you’d set things up to be in a position to control the situation? That’ll force you to plan better so maybe, just maybe things will be different? You think Lu Guang lacks self awareness and doesn’t know what this makes him? Of all things you can call LG, he’s not delusional. He knows the weight of his actions.

Link Click has and always will be a story about people. Where our emotions and choices take us. Lu Guang isn’t a robot so why would he be an exception?

Plus everyone should’ve been knew Lu Guang was sus anyway. Idk how that’s mischaracterization, there’s proof of him lying and keeping secrets from CXS in s1. It doesn’t ruin anything it recontextualizes what we were shown back then.

#anime #manga #donghua #link click #shiguang daili ren #lu guang #link click s2 #cheng xiaoshi #shiguang #defense #sort of #manhua #time agents #sgdr #lc #I think some people need to rewatch s1 for real #LEAVE HIM ALONE HE’S IN LOVE #but seriously why did ppl feel betrayed #the reveal makes his action have more logic behind them other than he’s rational #copy paste from twitter

[alexiethymia]

he makes her feel selfless and she makes him feel selfish

attempt at a meta or rather more incoherent gushing about these two

I love the contrast of the above scene, how Vash is joyous, all-smiling. While Meryl is wrecked, in tears. Most often, it seems that’s how they also remember each other.

Meryl likes to remember Vash happy and at peace. Vash remembers Meryl while she’s solemn and also a bit vulnerable. In a way, they inspire emotion in each other that’s hard for them to express. Vash has had a lot of sadness in his life, but while he will always wear a smile, I think he finds it harder to let himself be genuinely happy than to cry. Meanwhile, Meryl hates to cry. She hates to let down her guard and appear as if she can’t take care of herself, but with Vash, she really can’t help herself.

I ship WildeHopps (another goofy tall character hiding sadness with a smirk and a straight-laced, determined shorty. even their eyecolors are the same!) and I remember that there was a thing in the fandom about foxes that they can’t help but shout when they see their mate, and I don’t know how accurate the translations are, but even when they reunite again, Vash can’t help but shout out ‘Meryl!’ in happiness (seriously despite how surprised he was, he could’t help his smile. and he only called out meryl despite milly also being there, like rude, vash, if milly wasn’t such a sweetheart and loved you both to bits, but anyway, I digress…)

I really loved the fistbump (*cough indirect kiss cough*) scene so much because in asmuch as it was Vash comforting Meryl, it was also about him taking comfort in Meryl, which when we remember from his waterworks when Marlon called him out on it, he previously found really hard to do.

On Meryl’s side, we actually see that she has the same values as Vash. I love the Little Arcadia chapter/episode so much for this reason. Grandpa’s speech to Meryl about following your own path and your connection to your parents, resonated with her, but we as the readers also know that it’s something that would have also resonated with Vash. She wanted to resolve the conflict without anyone losing their life, and at first couldn’t understand why something like land would be more important than life. But push comes to shove, when she sees the resolve of someone to protect something, she puts her life on the line anyway. We even see traces of it in the anime with how she also shoots non-lethal shots, and that one time when she saved Vash, she shot the light to fall on the person instead of shooting the person. That sort of pacifism is present in her and Milly although they may not be as obvious about it as Vash, which is why despite himself, Vash finds himself growing closer to the girls and considering them as among his most important people despite the fact that he knew them only recently compared to the people from Home and Marlon. Even Milly’s principles regarding family bonds would also be something that would resonate with Vash, and it’s important that he was there in the shadows because I think that was the turning point in how he started to consider them his friends. So in a lot of ways, despite Meryl not wanting him to, I think Vash truly sees the vulnerability that she tries to hide. And I find it so believable and endearing that he would be drawn to her because of that similarity and connection between them.

they both inspire hope in each other

When I say that Vash inspires Meryl to be selfless, it’s in the way she will risk everything just so she can be there for Vash, to overcome fear and her own human limitations, just so she can hold him close. Vash (and through his connections with others like Luida) inspires in Meryl hope for a better world. At the same time, I always got the feeling that the type of love that Meryl felt was something she would be content to keep on giving to this person who always kept on giving to others, even when there was a chance that she would never get it back or have it returned. I imagine that she would have been fine with that as long as Vash felt that he was unconditionally loved.

When I say, Meryl makes Vash feel selfish, it is within the context that selfish for Vash is already a normal level or base desire of wanting to be happy in other people. I remember Legato’s observation of Vash, that he considered himself as having utterly no value in this world. Of course a person like that would be fine with dying!

But this person who considers himself worthless, eventually makes a promise like this.

Vash must know that there’s a high likelihood he’ll die. Someone as self-sacrificial as him wouldn’t want anyone, much less a person he cares deeply for, to be hurt by him. And yet he makes this ‘selfish’ request of Meryl anyways. And it matters so, so much that he does. Because it shows that he can consider himself as someone who can make another person happy. It’s a promise to her, as well as to himself, that he won’t let himself simply die. He wouldn’t anyway because of how much he values Rem, but with this promise, it feels like his wanting to live is finally something he wants to do for himself, and not just as a continuation of Rem’s memory. Like with the fistbump scene, this promise was as much for him as for Meryl. I know he still would have fought to live and to protect humans, but at the same time, in the wake of Wolfwood’s death, I also felt that he would have been at peace should he have died trying. So this promise was to tether himself (to her). It’s something to keep him fighting to live now that he knows there’s someone out there waiting for him, by his own actions at that. More than that or simply put, it’s just a simple thing of allowing himself to want something or someone.

And this is how Meryl inspires hope in him. All this time he’s loved humans, but it always felt like he was living beside them and not with them. He doesn’t know what it is with Meryl, maybe her sheer stubbornness, but somehow she ends up representing that hope, that possibility of finally living together with humans (with her). In contrast to Meryl’s hope, it’s a very simple and humane one. To have someone care for him, to have someone wait for him, to have someone to come home to, to have someone who loves him. And it’s funny that it seems that Meryl expects nothing in return for her overwhelming love for Vash, because Vash actually meets her halfway. He’s the one to initiate the kiss. He’s the one to make the promise and have her promise. Finally, he’s taking the chance of his happiness into his own hands and doing something about it. I just, I really can’t with them. No wonder I ended up being vashmeryl trash.

#vashmeryl #trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe #have this messy attempt at a #trigun meta #ships #I really cannot with them #it’s all about the self-loathing and the self-worth #and having someone see you and be seen #who says you have to love yourself first before you can love someone? #it’s also possible that being unconditionally loved allows you to finally love yourself #it’s the subtlety #listen the best ships #the ships you end up thinking about at 3am in the morning #are those ships who don’t even kiss #who say I love you without saying I love you #think #fullmetal alchemist #‘I can’t lose you too.’ #‘Give me half of yours and I’ll give you half of mine!’ #nightrow knew what he was doing when he did that indirect kiss #‘wait for me’ #this is long but that’s only because I have a lot of feelings about them

[mitsuki91]

Characters analysis about Coriolanus Snow and Lucy Gray Baird.

(This is copy-pasted from a chat so forgive me if it's kind of messy).

Premise: Lucy is well aware of where the weapons are and makes Coryo find them on purpose.

Analysis: In my opinion Lucy recognises that Coryo still wears a mask in front of the world. She frames it immediately because she, in her own way, does too. She loves him, because she has seriously fallen in love with him (trauma bonding lol), but she also knows deep down that Coryo will always want to go back to the capital and make a political career, because it's the only way he can feel in control (and in a way she even understands this). She is worried that he will force her to follow him and put her in a cage and she is torn anyway because she loves him and would like to be with him but does not want to become a canary in a gilded cage... So she is slowly trying to make him understand that there is an alternative, that Capitol City and politics are not everything, that there is a life beyond power and beyond hunger. Only it all comes crashing down in 0.2 seconds. Coryo shoots the mayor's daughter and Lucy thus has 1) confirmation that Coryo would do anything for her anyway 2) sees how his paranoia starts, especially when Sejanus is hanged. She knows, because she knows him, that he sold him out to try to save his own skin. But she also knows that he is terrified and see himself already dead. She would like to reassure him and tell him about the weapons etc. but she knows that it is only prolonging the agony, because if Coryo could feel 'free' and return to the capital he would, and she is not up for it. So she finds a way to make him find the weapons - she first has confirmation that, even at the moment when Coryo loses everything, he still chooses her, because he loves her - and she watches him to see what he intends to do, but as she suspects he is not yet ready. She sees, in his eyes, that for him that discovery means 'freedom', a freedom greater than the truly free life he could have had with her. So she decides to take the first step and stop him from really choosing.... Because Coryo might choose her in that moment, but in one, two, five years etc. it would blow up in her face (between recriminations and various things because, basically, they want two different things out of life). Their love is not enough, Lucy knows that. So she does not give him the power to torture himself into a slow descent and chooses for him, leaving him. And he goes mad because he loses control, possession, over what he considered to be his by right because of the love he feels (his view of love and life: he sees possession as the highest form of love, because he grew up in a world where he had nothing and now only values the things he possesses).

Basically Lucy Gray values her freedom above love and Coryo values power/wealth/control above love.

Love exists between them, it is true.... But they have two different visions of life.

They have both betrayed each other in the worst way for each other.

Trust and loyalty.

But it wasn't a selfish spite, at least not on Lucy Gray's part.

He was still in full paranoia about the trust issue so he wasn't clear-headed, but she wasn't loyal thinking she was doing him a favour in the end by leaving him 'free'.

In the end, they 'gave' each other the most important thing they consider to themself: Coryo was giving her himself - "I am yours, Lucy, and I will follow you to the ends of the word" - i.e. possession. She gave him freedom instead.

#coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #coriolanus snow meta #lucy gray baird meta #lucy gray x coriolanus #coriolanus x lucy gray #snowbaird #characters analysis #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #the hunger games #thg #please remember I don't read the book yet so this ideas are from the movie and the little quote I see only about Coryo unhinged mind

[i-heart-hxh]

hey

ik you're busy with processing all this scrapped ending stuff, but imma ask anyways. so people here and on twitter tend to say that killua and gon's relationship is codependent. how is it shown? cuz to me they're just extremely devoted to eachother, but i can't exactly see this whole codependency thing.

love your analysis btw, you're great❤️

Hi! Thank you very much for the kind words, I appreciate it! (Obviously answering this after a while, as the scrapped ending topic isn't quite as omnipresent now.)

On one hand, I do think their relationship has aspects of codependency, for reasons I'll go into below. But there's a lot going on in their relationship, and I also believe people use this term as sort of a catch-all for the various issues.

So, what is codependency?

Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person assumes the role of 'the giver,' sacrificing their own needs and well-being for the sake of the other, 'the taker.' -- Psychology Today

I mean...doesn't this sound like Killua's unhealthy, self-sacrificing devotion for Gon?

Killua mostly takes on this role himself, but Gon does stoke this dynamic, assigning Killua the role of holding him back in dangerous situations and expecting him to clean up after his messes.

Killua is happy to have this role supporting Gon and takes it seriously, but as the series goes on, the burdens he deals with on Gon's behalf keep getting more and more extreme, and when Gon pushes him away even when he's doing his role (trying to keep Gon from doing something reckless and getting carried away, in the scene where Gon confronts Pitou), it breaks Killua's heart.

The issues between these two have a root cause: Both of them love each other more than they love themselves. This is the key to understanding many of the underlying issues in their relationship.

In Killua, this manifests by devotedly taking on whatever Gon wants or needs no matter what personal cost it has to him, trying desperately to be of service to him because it's the only way he knows how to express his love for him. Coming from the Zoldyck family, it makes sense acts of service are one of the only ways he believes love can be expressed meaningfully. As I said in another post, he even takes on things Gon doesn't ask him to do, and then hides how much he does for Gon and the costs it has to him, so Gon isn't even aware of how much Killua suffers on his behalf.

In Gon, this manifests by prioritizing Killua's life while recklessly disregarding his own. Remember this line?

I come back to this scene all the time because it's vital to understanding the way Gon values Killua above himself. To Gon, his life isn't worth all that much, but Killua's life is another story.

When Killua could have died if he dodged differently in the Dodgeball match, Gon loses his temper completely, to the point where he can't even answer Bisky's simple questions. I recommend reading the whole scene to see just how pissed Gon is about this, but for the sake of brevity here's the most important part:

This happens before the pivotal scene of Killua holding the ball for Gon, severely injuring his hands. There's a lot of complexity to this scene and what it means in their relationship, it honestly deserves its own post because it's difficult to summarize, but it shows us Killua being perfectly willing and happy to be gravely injured on Gon's behalf, and Gon accepting Killua's willingness to sacrifice and suffer for him. Definitely a case of codependency, if you revisit the definition above.

At the same time it's an indication of deep trust and understanding between the two: Gon knows that Killua wants to do this for him and he allows him to do this because he knows it has meaning to Killua. Killua knows that he's the only one Gon would ever entrust such a task to, and that means the world to him, even before Gon says his "It has to be Killua," line. And ultimately, even if it's a bit twisted, this act is all in service of Gon trying to avenge Killua being put at deadly risk.

When Gon is in front of Pitou and says the "This means nothing to you," line, this is intended to push Killua away, tell him it's not his fight. This battle is Gon's burden, he's willing to give up his life if it comes down to it, but Gon doesn't include Killua in his plans because, after all, Gon believes that it's okay if he dies, but not Killua. While the way Gon lashes out at Killua says more about his emotional state at the time than his intentions, his repeated pushing Killua away during his grief and rage is one of the ways he ironically shows love towards Killua--he doesn't want Killua to have to share this burden or die on his behalf, because he sees it as all his fault. Even when Killua contributed to what happened in a way (knocking Gon out in order to take him and leaving Kite behind, something Killua definitely blames himself for), Gon refuses to blame him even slightly.

But because Killua stakes his entire self-worth on how useful he can be to Gon (codependency), being pushed away by Gon and not allowed to share his burdens and his pain is just about the deepest wound Gon can inflict on Killua. It's not what Gon intends with his actions--if anything it's him trying to protect Killua in his own way--it's just the way their respective issues with self-esteem manifest, and it's unfortunate. It's why they need to split up for now, to heal and work through what happened, so they can come back together, communicate properly, and build a better dynamic the second time around.

Now, when discussing their codependency I think it's worth remembering some things: They are both young teens with issues with trauma and self-esteem, who haven't had close friendships prior to this. Many of the less healthy aspects of their friendship, like their lack of fully communicating for instance, are tendencies from the ways they were raised. They adore each other more than anything, they almost never intend to cause harm to each other, and the "roles" they take on in the relationship that end up hurting them are generally more self-imposed and coming out of their individual issues than something either of them is forcing the other to take on.

Their relationship has been transformative and deeply meaningful to both of them, and they're definitely happier together than apart. The issues between them need to be addressed and reflected on by both of them, but I truly believe this is something they'll be able to overcome ultimately.

#hxh #hunter x hunter #gon #killua #killugon #gonkillu #meta #my posts #asks #anonymous #long post #I feel like there's things I could dig into more but this is already long!

[podcastenthusiast]

I dunno why I wrote this instead of like a nice lighthearted story about Astarion getting a sunburn or something.

Anyway here's the aftermath of the night Cazador carved the Infernal binding into his back. Lots of sibling interaction.

--

Pain is a strange thing. Given a long enough span of time, it can become almost pleasurable, or at least a neutral sensation. You feel the hot sharp sting of Cazador's blade cut into your back over and over. But you are disconnected, floating above it all.

You're quiet now, tears running down your cheeks. You loathe giving him the satisfaction of seeing you weep but it is beyond your control at this point--an automatic physical response to prolonged, overwhelming agony.

Your body is motionless under his hands. If you move, he will have to start over again.

"I suppose that will do. You may return to the dormitory, boy."

He sounds vaguely disappointed. A poem, he'd told you. Somehow you have failed as a canvas for his artistic mutilation. Too much avoidable editing, perhaps. You wonder why he didn't simply paralyze you, but you suspect he enjoys finding reasons to punish you. Perhaps this was a punishment? Whatever the cause, if any at all, you are relieved to be spared the kennel.

"Yes, Master," a hollow voice replies. You realize it is your own. Just like the blood on the carpet. You wonder if you will be made to clean it later.

Dismal gray light mocks you through the wondows. Dawn. He spent an entire night engaged in bloody composition, your pale skin vellum for his creative vision.

You stagger, legs shaking, to the room you share with your siblings. It is a miracle you manage the stairs without falling. Or you assume you do; there is a momentary lapse of consciousness and you find yourself curled up tightly in a ball on one of the bottom bunks, your back to the wall as if that could protect the tender flesh from anyone wishing to do you further harm.

Yet even in suffering you aren't afforded any privacy. Your sister's soft voice drifts in like the tide.

"My last mark was an alchemist's apprentice. She... well, I have a healing salve. It's yours, if you'd like. I owe you for stitching up my arm."

She is clever to disguise her kindness, although you both know better.

"You're my favorite, Dal," you say, barely more than a whisper. It hurts to speak. Your throat is so raw from screaming.

"Mhm. I need to assess the damage."

You hear Dalyria stifle a horrified gasp when she sees what he did to you. You feel disgusting. Ashamed.

Always a doctor, you think with admiration. It must be nice to know yourself. Your world has become so small, the person you once were such a distant memory.

The brisk professional detachment in her tone is oddly comforting. With great effort, you maneuver yourself onto your stomach. You are already shirtless, which is fine; just the idea of fabric touching your maimed back, or what's left of it, makes you feel a bit faint.

"Brother... gods..."

Her voice sounds brittle, choked: the air of unshakable physician's confidence is suddenly gone. There is only your little sister here, teetering on the edge of tearful. You can't bear it. You've cried more than enough for yourself tonight already.

"Come now, darling, none of that," you soothe, all false cheer. "No sense letting some--frankly probably mediocre--poetry upset you, hm?"

She's seen you wounded before, obviously. They all have countless times. You wound each other and yourselves, on his orders or sometimes just because you csn, because you're starving or viciously bored, and that's only when the master and that bloody skeleton can't be bothered. Dalyria no doubt contended with worse injuries in her mortal life, too. She can bear the sight of your blood easily enough.

Why, then, is this particular instance so different? What does she see etched on your flesh?

"Tell me, Dal, be my mirror. Is it... Am I hideous?" you ask, terrified to lose the one asset of real value you have anymore.

"Of course not, brother," she says. How bizarre it feels for you, an expert in deception, to be the one lied to. "But...this might be beyond a salve."

"Try," you plead with her, hoping it sounds more like a command. You are desperate for any relief from the waves of nauseating pain breaking over you.

"Okay."

The healing salve is cool against your skin and somewhat numbing, easing your aching muscles, but it is not itself magical. The deep cuts do not mend. You suspect Cazador's blade probably was enchanted to prevent effective healing. He wouldn't want to risk having his hard work undone by a pilfered potion.

"It will scar, I'm afraid," she says, as if you aren't painfully aware of that fact.

"As he intended."

She hums whilst she works. Sometimes you like to imagine there are simple things like that Cazador can't take from you all. But the truth, you know, is that he could if he desired it. Could render you mute, mindless thralls if he didn't relish the sound of your screams.

"Oh hells, what's Astarion done now?"

Great. Petras. There is a voice you wouldn't mind never hearing again. Just when you were beginning to believe you might be able to rest a little.

"Shut up," you snap. Your nerves are frayed. He would be wise not to test your extremely limited patience right now.

But wisdom has never been your brother's strong suit.

"Just saying If you didn't give so much lip maybe the master wouldn't have to beat you too badly. Even dogs can learn that eventually."

"Thank you, Petras, as ever a bastion of wisdom," you say through gritted teeth.

"What did you call me?!"

"Enough, you two! Please don't fight," Dalyria begs, like always.

"I deliver twice the marks he does," Petras insists, which you doubt is true given his everything. He'd have to knock out half of his targets and drag them here. "Still struts about like he fucking owns the place only to roll over for the master--"

"Look at him, brother! His back..."

"I'm right here, you know," you say, but it doesn't matter.

Your siblings fall silent. A heavy silence, tomb-like. He has seen Cazador's masterpiece. Finally something shuts him up.

"Oh. Fuck," Petras breathes after a moment. He's verging dangerously on sympathetic. It's too much.

"Damn it, what?! Haven't you ever seen a man flayed before? Is his poetry really that awful? Gods, it's a tasteless limerick, isn't it."

You laugh, bitter and dry, because otherwise you think you'll fall apart. You wish they would all stop looking at you.

"I don't know," your sister says. "I can't read these symbols. Perhaps Aurelia--"

"Must we show absolutely everyone?" you protest.

"Well, I've never seen anything like it," your idiot brother adds unhelpfully. "Seriously, what did you do? Leon, come look at this!"

Wonderful. You're starting to feel like a sick art exhibition. Exposed. It would be funny were it not tragically happening to you. You don't think your siblings would actually harm you in this vulnerable state, not without a direct order. Well, maybe that oaf Petras.

"Master carved him up like a goose," Petras explains to your newest brother once he, too, has beheld the gruesome spectacle that is your tattered skin.

"Why? I mean, there must be a reason. Did you break a rule? Were you caught reading again?"

"He doesn't need a reason," you remind your brother.

Leon is not stupid; he's just scared. He still believes this torture was justified somehow, the logical consequence of failure or willful disobedience, that any sense can be made of the master's capricious moods. He needs to believe it can't happen to him--or especially not his young daughter. You let go of such silly notions a century before Leon was born.

"What does this mean, then?" he wonders quietly. "For the rest of us?"

Even with your face pressed into the pillow, you know what their expectant silence means. They are looking to you for answers. Guidance. How to protect themselves. You understand the master's cruelty as well as one could, having endured his sadistic whims longer than any of them.

"This hasn't ever happened before," you admit. "I don't know why he did it or what he might be planning next. And no, I didn't disobey. I doubt it means anything at all."

"I know what it means."

Violet, right on cue. Mischievous eyes and that stuffed owlbear clutched to her chest, you're certain.

"What?"

"Astar-ion has been cho-sen," your sister declares. Sings, really. Her voice is sickly sweet. Sugar laced with poison.

"Chosen?" Petras scoffs. "Sure. Perks of being the master's special little bitch--"

You spring up from the mattress completely without thought, like you've been compelled to act, but it is only rage driving you to grab your brother by the throat and pin him roughly against the wardrobe. It all happens so fast Dalyria doesn't even scream.

"Say that again," you snarl. "I dare you."

You recognize the briefest flash of fear in Petras' eyes. Perhaps he has a shred of respect for you after all, deep down. He clearly envies you, the deluded fool.

"Get off me!"

He pushes you away from him and, still weak, you stumble and fall flat on your back. Your vision goes white with seering pain; a wretched keening whine escapes your lips. You don't move to get up. You're not entirely sure you could. Dalyria rushes to your side, wringing her hands.

Violet, standing in the doorway, giggles and takes off running down the hall. Petras storms after her, furious, with Leon trailing uncertainly behind them.

Dalyria sighs--such a profoundly tired sound you feel it resonate in your bones.

"You look like a dying animal," she says affectionately.

"I feel like one."

She offers a hand. Helps you up from the floor.

"Ignore him. Please. At least until you heal," she implores you. "I won't have you undoing my efforts. You shouldn't let Petras get--"

"Under my skin?"

"I was not going to say that," she says, glancing away, sheepish. You don't know how she lures anyone back here when she can't lie to her own family.

"You were."

"Was not."

"Were."

"Not."

"Yes."

"No."

You both switch from Common to Elven, then you trip her up with Orcish.

"You're impossible!" Dalyria pouts. But your sister is smiling. A rare sight indeed. You tuck it away somewhere deep within your dead heart, for safekeeping. "Now please rest. Doctor's orders."

You feel cold. Afraid. Slightly delirious with pain and exhaustion, you ask, "What if I'm dying?"

Her expression softens. She isn't smiling anymore.

"You're not going to die," she says. Then, quieter, as you slip away into a trance: "Death is a mercy not meant for us."

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate iii #dalyria is my poor little meow meow #yes she probably murdered a child but she's the best girl around #i haven't actually played the game in two days because i was writing this

[bil-daddy]

One of my students asked if I had a boyfriend then asked if I had a child.

He made me feel old and lonely within five seconds. Kids can be very weird.

Hey, the kid still thinks you're young enough to have a boyfriend rather than a husband. That counts for something, doesn't it?

But you're right kids (species neutral) are weird. So are adults. That's cause there's no such thing as normal.

There are teenagers with children of their own, and octogenarians without any. There's no one way to live life.

Nothing wrong with being single and looking, or single and not looking, or single and not sure yet. Nothing wrong with not having kids yet, or not having kids ever.

I'd say you shouldn't feel old, but that would imply there's something wrong with being old. There isn't.

Anyway, feeling old's more about being self-aware of time passing and culture treating youth like it's the only time of life when anything matters. So, really feeling old can happen at any age. There are fifteen year olds feeling old right now. All it means is that you're alive and you know it.

That being said, at my age (which is a perfectly ordinary human age by the way, like, I dunno, 69) all you hu--fellow humans seem young to me. So don't worry, you're still young.

As for feeling lonely, you shouldn't feel that way just because of something someone else said (child or adult). But if what your student said made you more aware of something you were already feeling, then you can examine that feeling if you'd like to.

The loneliness might be a longing for a romantic relationship. Or it might be a longing for deeper friendships outside of romance. Or both. And it's okay not to be sure. But whatever it is, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

You can work on finding and building the connections you crave when you're ready, with the understanding that it will take time and that's alright. Something valuable and meaningful doesn't lose it's value and meaning because you got it at 25, or 30, or 50, or 70, or 6,000. Things like that are timeless. (And I happen to know a bit about that--but don't tell anyone.)

Have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers (eventually) #life advice from bildaddy (results may vary) #Probably too much bilosophizing for the length of the ask but oh well #bildad nation #bildad brainrot #bildad the shuhite #bildaddy #bildaddy answers #have an ox rib (platonic) #oh bildad we're really in it now #oh bildad the shuhite we're really in it now #bildad the shuhite army #bildad my beloved #bildad the shuite #Obstetrician thursday #shutanic temple

[cringecannon]

God I’m so obsessed with the idea that Tav spent the entire game becoming this powerful and dangerous adventurer, only to lose any sense of self or autonomy when Gortash decides to keep them. I’m trying to figure out just *how* Gortash got this much power over them, like what could he have possibly threatened or promised in order to trap Tav in this situation

The thing is there isn't anything Gortash won’t do to gain power. He doesn’t care how many people will suffer, or how many heads will have to roll as long as he gets what he wants in the end. He’s also willing to do anything to prevent power being taken from him. Tav, at this point, is a powerful ally- and a dangerous enemy. It makes total sense that he’d want you firmly under his heel. Two birds with one stone and all that.

How he goes about it is entirely dependent on you and your values. Given that you’re an accomplished adventurer he knows better than to just simply threaten your life. That’s boring, anyway. He thinks himself more of a showman.

Most anyone would refuse his initial offer. There’s no plus side. He gets to control you, own you, and all he offers in exchange is some vague ‘protection’. Given how powerful you are, you obviously politely (or not so politely) decline him. Turning on your heel to leave, you’re only stopped by the sound of his voice ringing out in the audience hall. Your hackles raise when he tells you what the consequence of refusing will be.

For a heroic Tav, he merely implies that your refusal to cooperate will lead to the deaths of countless civilians. The look in his eyes unnerves you, dropping a threat as easily as he would if he was chatting about the weather. You don’t give in so easily, calling his bluff. He’s a tyrant, sure, but random executions? Please. It would ruin his political career. There’d be riots in the streets! He wouldn’t risk damaging his reputation just to prove a point. You’ll believe it when you see it. He shrugs, his chin in his hand as he watches you leave. He almost looks bored. You storm out, making sure to slam the doors closed behind you.

The next day, when the Steel Watch drags you from your camp and forces you to your knees in a city square, there’s nothing you can do. Gortash is on one knee beside you, one hand under your chin and the other gripping your hair. He forces you to watch as countless civilians are hung. Over, and over, and over. He whispers in your ear the entire time, and you can hear the smile in his voice as he croons. This is all your fault, pet. If only you had cooperated…

If a Tav is little more brutal, maybe doesn’t care much for the common man, Gortash hits a little closer to home. Even the cruelest of you most likely had companions on the road. What a shame it would be if the Steel Watch had to pay a visit. By the time they’re dragged into the audience hall they’re bloody and bruised, eyes swollen shut. You might lunge toward them, but it’d be no use- the chain around your neck prevents you from getting far. You might lunge for Gortash, but he advises you not to- any injury to him will be repaid tenfold on your friend. Not that it matters. You can do nothing but watch as he strolls toward them, a knife twirled dangerously in his fingers.

Every time you refuse him, your friend loses something. You better make up your mind quick, dear. If you don’t say yes, the next question will be which one of your friend’s fingers he should take first.

Regardless of how it goes down, Gortash is a man of his word. When he says you’ll be his? He means it. You’ll either bend, or you’ll break. He’s pleased either way.

#enver gortash x reader #enver gortash x tav #.enver gortash #.bg3

[soartfullydone]

"rebel moon is just a bunch of disjointed character intros with no substance---"

[loud fart noise in your face]

Anyway, what connects all of the characters together is Honor, a major theme of the movie. It's the reason that These People In Particular are all chosen, beyond their reputations or even their skill sets (which are still important).

What does your personal honor look like? How do you uphold it? What do you do when you lose your honor? Can you ever truly regain it once it's lost? Can you find redemption, or is revenge the closest thing you can get? Can revenge and honor ever be the same?

After her indoctrination and service in the Imperium, Kora deserts, but it's for her survival, not the recovery of her honor. That's the journey she's currently on in the defense of her new home and the people there, triggered by the conflict of choosing her personal safety or rescuing Sam from further assault. She found the line of her honor and refused to ignore it any longer.

Gunnar placed personal gain over maintaining a united front about the grain surplus. His dishonorable actions lead to Sindri getting killed and their village placed under the Imperium's thumb. Noble's culpability aside, Gunnar feels responsible for his role in all this and seeks to make amends. It's why he's the only one who jumps in to protect the child from potential collateral damage in Nemesis' fight with Harmada. He is transitioning from being a selfish character to being more selfless, defining what he wants his personal honor to be.

Speaking of Nemesis, she is the most samurai-coded character here, complete with their version of honor. Her failure at being able to protect her children drives her to defend others, and shoulder the burden of killing once a peaceful resolution cannot be reached. It's why she has an entire conversation with Harmada, to understand what drives her, to attempt to find common ground and shared empathy. It's why she fights first with naked steel, to try to convince Harmada to back off, to value her own life, and it's for the lives of others that she finally ignites her blades when she cannot. Nemesis is not an emotionless cyborg who assassinates in cold blood, but one who is deeply attuned to her pain and that of others.

Tarak is a prince, and yet we learn he's nowhere near his home or his people. Whether he's failed them or abandoned them (or feels like he has) is still a mystery, but we still know that he is an honorable man, regarding his servitude to Hickman with utter seriousness. Tarak will honor his word and any agreements once given, including a life debt, and his connection with nature both demonstrates and resonates his nobility. He even has the whole "honor them" speech to Millius, revealing that he knows the guilt of surviving when all the friends you swore to fight beside are now gone.

General Titus fought proudly for the Imperium until his honor wouldn't allow him to stomach their methods. The price for that included his men's lives, his station, and his dignity. Unable to protect any of it including his ideals, he turns to drink and hopes fighting as a gladiator to the death does the rest. And yet, he cannot bring himself to just lay down and die. He dwells on his mistakes but does not succumb to them. The kernel of honor was still within him, and it's no wonder Kora and the other idealists at her back were able to ignite it again.

Jimmy is from an order of robotic knights, who all laid down their arms in dishonor and disgrace when the Imperium's royal family was murdered. He embodies old and forgotten chivalry, and in case you missed that, they got Anthony Hopkins to voice him. These knights haven't fought back since, even when they are attacked---and yet Jimmy retaliates to protect Sam before himself, finding something honorable to fight for again.

Darrian Bloodaxe has his honor as a rebellion leader tested and rightly concludes that the revolution is meaningless if they will not come to the aid of the most defenseless among them. (But he and his men die anyway!) Indeed, that is the point. Hedging your bets and picking your battles might be the smartest option, but it's not the most noble or honorable. Honor, in case you haven't noticed, often demands a choice and a price.

And yes, even our villains share in this theme in their own twisted ways. Kai is a mirror to Gunnar, but where Gunnar is growing into being a less opportunistic person, Kai is deliberately shrouding his true intentions from the get-go. At Kai's betrayal, Kora demands after his honor, to which Kai dryly replies, "What did happen to it." It isn't a question. Kai long ago saw honor as a death sentence and chose survival over everything, and in an ironic twist, is killed once he tries to tempt Gunnar into choosing his own survival over Kora's. Like Kora before him, Gunnar finds his line that he will not cross as well as what he fights for.

Finally, there's Atticus Noble, who wields the honorable memory of the Slain King and his dishonorable death as a blunt weapon against all that isn't the Imperium, much like his cane. The one time the Imperium was gracious, and they were betrayed for it. Never again, and everyone will suffer for this humiliation until the Imperium's honor is restored---and it never will be. Because honor is not the point; conquest and control is. Revenge is the point.

Literally all of this is in the film btw. But then, I wasn't fast-forwarding or looking down at my phone the whole time or playing Paint By Numbers: Star Wars Edition. I was actually watching the goddamn movie and letting it tell me its story. And then I reflected on it afterward. Whooooaaa!

#rebel moon #'but it's still a bad movie' yeah yeah have fun watching ahsoka S2 bud #it wasn't perfect by any means but omg the way people act like this film personally crucified their family #anyway let sci-fi be weird and unpalatable again; i'm tired of mainstream sci-fi grandpa #rebel moon spoilers

[suchafuckingriot]

Wilbur Soot as an abuser

cw, physical abuse, graphic descriptions of physical abuse

this analysis seeks to break down the supposed type of abuser wilbur is for the purpose of showing people what abusers can look like and why they do it the way they do. especially in this instance, where it can feel ambiguous or exaggerative to call that person an abuser when you’re in a relationship with them. WARNING: this post will be uncomfortable and sad to read. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED.

first and foremost, go watch shelby’s stream. she said exactly what she wanted to say and she said it very well, and i’m not going to synthesize it. additionally, the only reason i feel comfortable writing this in the first place is because i’ve experienced the exact same thing, bites and all. because of that fact, some of this information might be biased towards my own experiences, but know that this essay is not about wilbur as much as it is about this one type of abuser. this is not drama or gossip like usual, it is meant to be educational and give awareness to a covert type of abuse that is often hard to recognize, a type of abuse that i know and understand. it is also meant to explain why it happens, as i’ve seen a LOT of questions about “why biting?”. remember, wilbur is just our poster boy in this instance. you could swap his name out with any other, he’s just who sparked the discussion this time. anyways,

How it Starts

remember my post from a while ago about wilbur and manic pixie dream girls? (if someone could send it to me i’d like to reblog it) there is a simple process to wilbur’s attraction to women:

find “special” girl -> rizz her up -> it fails -> spiral into self loathing bender -> (“update me on your life and now you’ve found the one, but i don’t like his eyes…”)

or

find “special” girl -> rizz her up -> it works -> oh wait she’s not special to me anymore -> she’s supposed to be special -> but she’s special i cant not like her she’s such a catch -> she loves me and i hate her -> i’m in love with the fact that she loves me -> (“you’re just so painfully punctual, i’m starting to get bored”)

and here we get to what happened with shelby.

she was his childhood crush. she is also petite, beautiful, very cutesy, giggles, is very sweet, has a distinct personal style, is SHUBBLE. to name a few things. she is a perfect dream girl for wilbur to chase.

wilbur catches her -> he loses interest -> the ego boost and additional benefits from dating shelby is so great that he values her status as his girlfriend above her as a person -> she is still a person with relationship needs -> he lashes out at her in seemingly innocent ways in attempt to satisfy both his ego and the needs of a relationship. which brings us to

Biting/“Playful” Injury

love bites are a fairly common form of affection. the important distinction to make is that they are usually gentle, and done by someone because they know it’s silly. it’s a human thing to do. a very common question i’ve seen: why did he bite her?

because when you are in a relationship with someone you resent (as shelby said) and you get the inclination to physically harm them, you know you can’t. this is obviously bad, and wilbur knows it’s bad, so he picks something that can be turned into a joke. wilbur is a known biter. this gives him a justification that shelby will take and so will everyone else that sees it happen, especially since his mom backed it up.

the bites serve to

-allow him to hurt her without feeling guilty

-affirm his ego that she’ll stay with him even if he treats her poorly

-provide a visible marker to other people that she is “his”, further affirming his ego

the bites being in her skin allowed people to see them and she’d be forced to explain that he was the one that did it, he could show them off himself if they were together, they could be passed off as a silly joke, and he got the satisfaction of hurting her under a “safe” pretense. especially because he set up a safeword, he got to justify in his head that he was not a bad guy or abusive for doing this. the bites are a mark of possession, like a brand. it’s gratifying that he’s the only person that gets to do this to her.

there is also something… attractive? romantic? about how much someone will endure for you. this type of abuser loves to stress test how much you’ll take from them before breaking. they feel validated that you’re willing to do that for them, so even if he had to stop doing it on her arms and move to her legs instead, it was still gratifying that she would take it.

one question i saw a lot: is it a sex thing? not necessarily. it could be, but in this case and in my own experience i don’t think it is. i don’t think it sexually gratifies them, just fuels their ego.

i would also like to add, biting is not the only way this can happen. here are a few more examples of covert physical abuse, from my own experiences because that’s the best way to word them:

my ex would “crack my knuckles”, meaning bend my fingers a dangerous amount until they forcefully popped, framed as an inside joke

"playfully" shove me, making sure to do it hard enough that i was knocked into a wall and would hit my head

pinch bruises into my ribs so they would hurt when i laughed

back to shelby/wilbur, her story of him pinning her down and asking her to try to push him off, then gloating when she couldn’t

i just think it’s worth noting: shelby wanting to be a bunny on origins smp, then wilbur modifying her lore saying she was a bunny until he killed her because he was lonely and wanted another ghost around. that shit was not normal

i would also like to add, often the person being hurt in this scenario does express that they are being hurt, that they do not like it, and that they don’t want it to keep happening. the abuser will dismiss it because the ways they harm you are “a joke”, or they may set up a safe word or fake apology or negotiation in attempt to placate you. or they will guilt trip you. know that almost never are any remedies they try to provide you genuine. you will not fix your relationship. they do not care about you, they care that you satisfy their ego. they want to harm you, and they will not stop.

if you suspect you may be in this situation, get out of it. nobody deserves to be hurt by their own partner or be made to feel resented by their own partner. research all of the different types of abuse, and figure out the best solution for your situation. like shelby said, she was the one that broke up with him, which is the case for a lot of these scenarios. i pulled the trigger in my own relationship. it might be scary, or not feel right, but if you can come to the conclusion that your situation isn’t right, you can leave it too.

wishing everyone happiness, health, and healing,

-riot

(p.s. in the tags)

#ps. i shared my own experiences purely for educational purposes lol pls don’t come say sorry to me in my askbox #i understand the feeling so if you’d like to express support or empathy leave a heart or a rose emoji :) #i just don’t want the focus of this to be the implications of my own experiences #i want this to be a guide of warning signs and red flags #and an explanation for those that need it #cw abuse #cw physical abuse #also GO WATCH HER STREAM. she speaks about her experiences much better than this post does #watch her stream #x3

[tricornonthecob]

Okay, confession time - as a non-USAmerican I have never watched Liberty's Kids. What is the deal with James and Sarah? What is their story? Europeans need to know!

Hmmm... how to summarize the pain...

Ok so quick overview, Sarah is sassy British gentry and starts out a loyalist. She comes over from Britian (15 YEARS OLD AND UNCHAPERONED, but I digress) to find her dad, who fucked off years ago to the Ohio wilderness ostensibly to find land for their family to settle in because land is cheap (no, their financial situation isn't explained,) but he's an easily distractable man and seems to keep forgetting he has a family. She takes up residence in Benjamin Franklin's print shop, because him and her mother are Best Buds, and this is where James is an apprentice and also lives. (There are alot of historical inaccuracies here as the shop had zero living space and Ben Franklin had sold the Pennsylvania Gazette and retired from printing before the 1770s and was in no way involved.)

James is a poor orphan colonist who manages to get an apprenticeship at Benjamin Franklin's print shop, which is wild and amazing in its own right. He's a tad goofy, smart but dumb, and a firebrand patriot, although his enthusiasm for rebellion and violence cools over the series. The show frequently uses him to make commentary about not letting your enthusiasm take over your mind, and not letting yourself be swayed into violence because of mob mentality. (But of course its an American show about the American Revolution that got released in 2002, a year after 9/11, so even though it does make a real genuine effort to be Fair And Balanced about the whole thing, patriotism can't help but worm its way in.)

Anyway, both of these teens are smart-but-dumb, sassy, hotheaded, and stubborn. Not only that, they are set up to be on opposite sides of the Revolution. Its the perfect formula for enemies-to-frenemies-to-lovers pipeline, and also coworkers-to-lovers pipeline, with a dash of Idiots in Love and a little bit of Forbidden Love vibes, and what eleven-year-old can resist? And honestly? Its frequently written that way.

Ok so I said there was pain.

Sarah had a gold locket she was gifted by her father. Its precious to her and reminds her of her father, who's been absent for years. (Are you picking up all the Dysfunctional Family vibes yet? Stick with me.) In the first episode, she unwittingly gets caught up in the Boston Tea Party shenanigans and loses the locket in the harbor. Its a Huge Fucking Deal, losing her only tangible connection to her dad and her life back in Britain.

In the second fucking episode (this is important to the Pain,) we get some backstory for James. Him and Sarah get to talking when she opens up about her dad and about losing the locket. James opens up and we learn he was orphaned as an infant when his parents died in a house fire from a lightning strike. A neighbor saved him, but eventually he ended up wandering the streets of Philadelphia when still a child. The only thing he has left of his family - of any family - is his mother's wedding ring, which he wears. Although they come from different backgrounds, he actively empathizes with Sarah's situation and tells her he understands what it means to put alot of emotional weight on an item like a ring or a locket.

(The second episode was the first one I ever watched and I went fucking FERAL at this scene.)

Anyway, at the end of the, and I remind you, SECOND FUCKING EPISODE, James makes the decision to melt down his mother's ring to make a replacement for Sarah's locket.

Please just let that sink in.

Is it sunk in yet? Allow me to go feral for a defining moment in my first experience shipping.

James melts down the only thing of actual value in his possession, and the only remnant of his family, in order to give Sarah a replacement for the locket that her deadbeat dad absent father gave her. The scene is very sweet. Sarah is genuinely elated. James is thrilled she likes it. He fucking. Puts it on her. When she finds out where they got the gold, she calls it the greatest gift she's ever received.

The SYMBOLISM HERE IS NOT VERY SUBTLE, is it??? The Found Family. The Healing. The coming together to make things Right. The Sacrifice. The Radiant Joy of Love.

Now, there are other moments throughout the series hinting that the two of them have crushes on each other, some more obvious than others ("I'm so happy I could kiss you!!!") but here comes the fucking PAIN.

They don't fucking get together in canon. Despite it being obvious that the writers had set them up to be a thing. I don't know if it was just infighting with the writers and the studio, or if there was some executive who decided that romance was silly, or if someone thought that romance wouldn't resonate with their target audience (children ship ALL THE TIME wtffff) but a grievous sin was committed that day and I have been burning with Bad Feels ever since.

Anyway that's why I spend so many hours trying to correct this error with silly, sometimes horny lineart.

#liberty's kids #sarah phillips #james hiller #sarah phillips/james hiller

[parkezra]

✨ hello, beautiful citizens of jongnorp! ✨ how the hell are ya?! my name's ryan (h/h, 25+) and i'm so thrilled to finally be posting one of my eight muses' (yes, i know... i know 😅) intros! first up is one of my all-time favorites, ezra park! he's currently working as an influencer who mostly creates fashion, lifestyle, social commentary, and makeover content, but he'll be expanding his résumé with exciting new projects very soon! 👀 below, you'll find a quick breakdown of his life, as well as bits and pieces of his personality. please 💖 this if you'd like to plot!

1.

to keep things simple, he was born and raised to a rather liberal family in queens, nyc. both his parents made good money, he felt very supported, loved, and accepted, and honestly speaking, he had a rather idyllic childhood. i've written this muse before, but in this update of him, i wanted to give him a less grim upbringing.

however, his brighter history has created new flaws. being that he grew up in a rather privileged environment, it's made him ignorant to many things, and upon moving to seoul, he's been hit in the face with plenty of life's harsh realities. he's on his own now (for the most, part, anyway—his older half-brother is also in seoul), he's starting a career for himself, and it's his first time in a part of the world that's dramatically more conservative than the safe haven he surrounded himself in back home.

is he losing his mind? sort of, but he's doing keep his feet on the ground. he'd love it if you joined him on this new journey he's on!

2.

ezra park is a hedonist. he's someone who'll never say no to another drink, or a second slice of cake, or going home wrapped around the arm of a handsome someone. he's over-indulgent like that, and substantially sensual, as well. he's someone who will catch a man's attention by eye-fucking him across the room, then moments later, appearing only to whisper the most delicate compliment in his ear; hoping that the sweet scent of his breath and the feeling of it ghosting along the other's skin is enough to reel him in for a night of fun.

if there is one thing that ezra park values, it's beauty. why else would he host a show on his channel that highlights attractive men from around the city, mostly by giving them makeovers? why else would he be teaching people how to upgrade their closet with clothing that accentuates their best features? why else would he be interested in ensuring that he never leaves the house looking anything other than immaculate? however, he realizes that, like most things, beauty is subjective, and he aches to discover what others find people, too.

ezra park is an individual, much to the chagrin of his grandparents' home country. he's still not gotten used to the stares of his elders whenever he enters public transit, or the glares he receives from his peers when he's a little too "flamboyant" in a public space, but he likes to think he's learning how to comfortably coexist in a place that doesn't fully understand him. after all, that's kind of all he can do. he made the choice to learn about his heritage and expand his career by relocating, and it's a choice he has to live with now. at least for the foreseeable future.

3.

ezra has a show on his youtube channel where he gives handsome men from around the city (often male models, drag queens, and less often men from off-the-street) to interview and give makeovers to. he asks them questions about growing up in korea, and the knowledge they have on queer individuals, and their opinions on certain topics. in addition to this, he also hosts queer people of korea to ask them, specifically, about their experiences living in the country; hoping to shed awareness on stories told by marginalized voices. these could work as connections!

he's been in the city since february of last year, so it's been around a year and he's likely made some friends! maybe they could be your muses?

he's also likely slept around with plenty of men. he's no stranger to jongtaewon, and even hongdae, so if your muses frequent these areas, they've likely ran into him or ended up in his bed.

does your muse watch his content? do they love it? hate it? have them tell him! it'll be a fun time either way!

i'm honestly down for any and all connections, and this is already so long, so let's come up with something incredible together! 🥺💖

#JONGNO:HELLO #/ late to the party but i hope you forgive me! #/ been wearing my “🍑” hat if you know what i mean... 👀

[bunglegaydogs]

Hiiii I'm just sending an ask because they're all different posts (read : I'm lazy) so please don't mind me lol

First and foremost, YOU ARE AMAZING AT EXPRESSING YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR ESSAYS ARE ALWAYS SO NUANCED?? SO YOU SAYING THAT WAS A HUGE COMPLIMENT OMG- I love reading your bsd essays so much and it's just now that I realised that they're all your essays abaammw some of the best in the fandom really. I'm always baffled when in the middle of an essay you go "I may not be articulating my thoughts right" or "this is kind of just put together" because girl you're amazing! Never stop writing these please ajajahsbw ALSO! Hearing your little thoughts and feelings pop up in the middle of an essay makes it so endearing to me. Like, that's a whole ass person writing these many words just to express how much they like this show and they're so adorable! (So sorry if that's offensive idk if calling someone adorable is)

Also, completely unrelated lol but this is exactly why I prefer to ask people questions instead of googling! Knowing that the person explaining is a human has their own opinions and hearing their feelings and experiences is so much more better and relatable than reading stuff off a Google website. Also your pfp is the cutest everyone has cute pfps nowadays 😭 anyways yes cute pfp :D

Actually getting to the point now:

1) yes yes Oda and Dazai's relationship is so dear to me I love them sm and I adore seeing Atsushi all caring for his mentor 😭 he's basically Dazai's emotional support cat!! Dazai let the boy in please I'm begging you he can purr probably and it would melt away your stress pls pls (Maybe everyone in the ADA sees Atsushi as their emotional support cat...)

2) Mori is a piece a shit, and you should be allowed to say it. I'm never biased in my writing but I loathe that guy with my very being and the whole people who like Mori thing really got me reconsidering...was *I* the bad guy for not liking a character when I actively liked a character very similar to him? Then I realised, I completely respect and treat equally all the people who don't like/hate Dazai. I don't treat them any different just because they don't like a character. And that's what I should expect too!

There's no post defending Dazai, and yet I still like him because I accept his wrongdoings and want him to keep getting better, like Oda told him to. Yknow, the argument would be MUCH different if Dazai was a woman and not a man, imagine bashing someone for liking a teen girl and not liking the guy who groomed her to be his heir. Yeah, really puts things into perspective. I'm not sexist, I treat (respectful) men and women equally, but Mori is just. No.

3) I haven't see it before in any canon source material but I feel like it's definitely true. It's clear that Dazai WANTS to want to keep living, but he can't bring himself to want it because of all the pain he's endured. He literally said in dark era that the reason he joined the mafia was to try and seek meaning in life by being close to death and violence. It's ironic, Dazai feels the most alive when he's about to LOSE that privilege. It could also mean that Dazai only realises the "value" in living when he's about to lose it. Perhaps he thinks of things he could've done, things he'll regret, and that helps him to stop before he actually does it. But in my opinion? I don't think he finds anything of worth in that time. He just convinces himself that he does. This is a personal hc but it's probably likely to be the case.

If you've listened to the song My R, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.(totally recommend btw!).The girl in the song speaks to herself about her woes and the 'other' version of her comforts her telling her about all the things that she DOES have, but by the end of the song, she has lost everything of meaning and she can't comfort the "girl". It is only revealed that the girls she comforted are different versions of HERSELF that she stopped from jumping.

Anyways, in conclusion, SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG HE DESERVES IT

oh my god oh my god oh my god

i am sat here on the verge of TEARS in my goddamn chuuya cosplay

okay okay give me a second i need to collect myself

you are singlehandedly the SWEETEST person ever im sobbing

literally i cant- thank you so fucking much! you dont understand how much this all means to me WOWOWOWOW <33333333

literally, my brain doesnt let me consume my content positively and so i always think that theyre quite bad or that im the only person who thinks that or that im saying all the wrong things lol

i have so many words and thoughts floating around in my little brain that i just cant find the words for, so thats honestly what those rants are, my delusional 4am thought processes when i deep things too much

and YOU THINK??? genuinely, thank you!!! i love reading people's essays and thoughts, so hearing you say that genuinely just warms my absolute heart <3

and yes yes i do get quite sidetracked very often and start just rambling and adding my own personal twists- genuinely i thought that was annoying for people to read, but you're just putting a big smile on my face right now :) and PLS DONT THINK CALLING ME ADORABLE IS OFFENSIVE I LITERALLY GIGGLED READING THAT SHIT FR. <333

i like to add personal experiences and thoughts into it, just to get my point across, put it into an irl perspective and let people also relate and see what im getting at. (unfortunately) i have the same experiences as most of these characters, and so that is why they're so dear to me and why i get very defensive and passionate writing about them!

and yes! getting your answers and stuff from irl people instead of strange irrelevant responses is much more preferred lol. it's more raw and in depth and definitely a lot more personal! and thank you so much!!! it's genuinely one of my favourite dazai panels istg hes such a pretty mf

1.) i love love LOVE their dynamic, i think it's one of my favourites in the show along with skk and ranpo and yosano. it really fucking hits hard, as all family dynamics do with me fr, idk what it is about them, they just get me. and yes!!! i love when atsushi shows that he cares for dazai it MAKES ME FEEL NICE <3 and that's so real oh my god hes a tiger please PLEASE he can fucking PURR (there was a tumblr post i saw, i can try and find it but it made me actually cry laughing)

THIS ONE i was fucking howling but yes! their relationship is also one that really really gets to me! and yes, he is just the ada's support cat, it's canon, i'm ranpo's sweets

2.) thank you thank you THANK YOU mori is an actual degenerate human being. he's not made to be liked or appreciated or revered, it's just fucking AEUGH. i'm not going to demonise the people who enjoy him as a character, but seriously, it's a big red flag to overlook the canon pedophilia. i saw someone make a defense against him saying "yes, but he's never actually touched kids, so that doesn't mean anything" SORRY? they also went on to say that he "restrains himself" from having pedophilic thoughts with elise, and basically praised him for that. needless to say, it got me feeling fucking icky. and yes! i feel exactly the same. i always think that "oh, maybe i'm the awful one for not liking him? am i bad?" even though, no, i'm perfectly fine thinking that way and i am allowed to think that way. and exactly again! dazai is my favourite character, but i recognise his flaws and his mistakes and don't forgive them. but he's actively trying to "be a better person" (i say this in quotation marks because dazai sees everything he does as inevitably pointless, but still wishes to uphold oda's dying words. i am definitely going to make a post about this in the near future lol) and i dont make my analyses biased towards him, and i stay on neutral ground UNLESS personal opinion comes up, to which i then say that it's my personal opinion, not fact, and that it's anybody's choice to think however they want. if somebody doesn't like dazai; okay! i'm interested in talking with them, and we can both talk about things we're very passionate about and have healthy conversations! unlike some people i have seen on reddit, goddamn. but no, we're not the bad people for hating that knobhead fr. we should all treat and be treated the same as any other fan in the fandom and get along, and i wish we could ALL do that in non-toxic ways. 99% of this fandom are the loveliest people ever, but that 1% just needs to get a grip like omg. we should treat others how we want to be treated, regardless of who favours what ship and who likes what character. and real!!! if gender roles were reversed for dazai, this would be much more problematic, and that's upsetting! dw dw, i dont think its sexist, i think its putting things into perspective bc, either way, its shitty how he was treated. i fucking hate mori. whenever i see people defending him to like, the bone, like not getting into a decent discussion and being civil but instead bashing everyone who says otherwise and completely overlooking the abuse, manipulation, grooming, pedophilia and just him as a sick and twisted person in general, it just really irks me. as someone who has in fact had to deal with separate strands of abuse including many fucking counts of sexual abuse and pedophilia, it disgusts me seeing people overlooking it and it makes me feel fucking sick. that shit is not just something to be overlooked because of the fact that you enjoy mori as a character, he's not supposed to be a character that's consumed positively, he's a bad guy. a lot of characters in bsd are morally grey, but mori is just fucking morally black. he's downright evil.

(TW for suicide and self harm next btw :) )

3.) yes yes yessss!!! again, bringing personal stuff into it, i deal heavily with the whole topic of suicide and self harm. i've attempted twice and still deal with thoughts of it every single day, as well as self harm. so, this is one of my main reasons of dazai being my absolute favourite character, because of the representation and actual presentation of these topics. at first, we're shown them in a whimsical and whacky way, then it gets so much darker once we get into the dark era. it's a complete tonal shift, and it really sets in the gravity of the situation for him. and, as you said, he wants to have that ability to want to keep going and living, and he wants to be able to put the effort in, but he can't/ he physically cannot. as much as he would want to try, he can't. and yes, when he said that it fucking BROKE me fr. just at the chance that he's not able to keep living on anymore as a human is the one thing that keeps him alive, i fucking love asagiri's writing, it's so complex and beautiful. and its so so so real!!! youre literally right idc lmao. youve so eloquently said it im crying, youre putting all my thoughts into words <3

and yes!!! i have listened to the song, i absolutely LOVE it! and i never fail to think of dazai whenever i listen to it </3 and, i also think it's very very much like dazai, because of the multiple different versions we see of him too. chuuya hasn't exactly changed much, but he has gone through some very very complex and deep character developments, such as in fifteen and stormbringer. hes a lot more "tame" and respectful now, and a lot more mature. (except with dazai lmao) aku, we see he's changed slightly thanks to atsushi, but still no major character fucking flip arounds. all these characters we've watched slowly become better and more complex throughout the series. dazai? he just does 180s every single fucking year. hes different at 14 and 15 than he is at 18. hes different at 18 than he is at 20-22. and the different faces he puts on for each and every person, all his masks that he has. there's much variety to dazai; you never know what you'll get. there's so many different sides to him, because he doesn't know who he is. as odasaku saw him, "a lost child crying out". no matter the age, no matter the state, dazai is always going to be harbouring that broken child with him, trying to hide it and build up walls around it, because the only time he's ever shown it, he's gotten hurt or betrayed and lost some key figures in his life. trust issues much?

anyways i am sorry i am sorry i rambled too much lmao

in conclusion, YES, GIVE HIM A FUCKING HUG OH MY GOD PLEASE I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO HUG HIM PLS GOD LET ATSUSHI GIVE HIM A BIG HUG WHEN HE COMES OUT OF MEURSAULT I SWEAR-

thank you so so so SO much for your kind words!!! sweetest person EVER fr <333333

thank you my love!!! /p have a lovely day/night :) <3

[tiikerikani]

"I feel that it is time for me to pursue another opportunity that is more aligned with my career goals and values"

I’m 100% quitting my job if they require us to use Gen AI

They did, so I quit. I gave my one months' notice today and will start New Job near the end of next month. Of course I have to credit random Recruiter Guy for showing up in my life at exactly the right time; I wouldn't have left without an exit plan.

I try to be a principled person and there aren't always opportunities to safely stay true to those principles.

-----

When Recruiter Guy messaged me on LI last month, I was intrigued that it actually seemed like he'd read my profile (unlike the spammy messages I usually get). I've never worked with a recruiter before, so it was interesting having a sort of agent pitching you to the company and liaising with them instead of having to be persuasive and do all the arrangements on your own.

Since the technical writer role is a new position in this company, I figured that it would mean they would be open to ideas on how to do things and wouldn't be forcing me to use AI things.

When Recruiter Guy asked for my salary expectations, I gave him a number in the middle of the range that was in the job description. The entire salary range is a significant increase over what I'm earning now[1], so I had literally nothing to lose and everything to gain trying for this. He said he'd ask for a bit more than my figure. (And that's what I'll be getting.)

The role would be a massive step up in responsibility for me and I know it's going to be a challenge; as the in-house writer I'd be responsible for maintaining the entire documentation library[2]. In-house writer is actually the role that many technical writers aspire to. You get to work closely with and really know the products you write about, and you can give feedback during the product development process.

I would have asked about it anyway, but the interviewer wanted my thoughts about using AI, and I said something along the lines of "I know people who do, but I do not because I trust my writing skills and good writing that gets taken seriously needs to have a touch that only a human writer can provide." She agreed that AI text sounds really obviously fake, so I took this as a good sign.

There was a small sample task that I had to do on my own time (given a list of specs, write a brief product description). Not a huge fan of copywriting but a product description is still very factual and not usually trying to sell stuff to people who don't want it. I returned the assignment along with a thank you note for the interview.

The interviewer wanted to speak with one of my references, so I directed her to talk to my master's thesis supervisor. He made such a good impression that she wanted to read my thesis (which IS, in the end, the only formal writing sample I can provide because I can't divulge who I've done work for) and set up a chat for me with their HR person. Whom I spoke to on Good Friday because it wasn't a public holiday in their country and I didn't have big plans for the Easter weekend anyway and I just really wanted to move the process forward as quickly as possible. They were also extremely impressed and went back to Recruiter Guy right away, who then called me that afternoon. I'm sure he would not have done this if he wasn't optimistic about my application since he was very well aware that it was a public holiday for me.

So yeah, I got the offer email just as I was about to leave for the concert last Thursday, and I wrote back immediately to accept it. Recruiter Guy called me as I was getting out of the metro and I really hate talking on the phone in public, but THIS WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH for an exception. We discussed the start date and agreed that I could have a gap week in between to just...catch my breath and rest a bit.

New Job is a hybrid workplace and they expect people to come to the office at least a couple of times a week, so I hope some social life and networking can actually happen??? Their products include hardware devices so it also makes sense that I need to physically be there to examine the things to document them properly.

__________

[1] With the amount of experience I have now, with a job that requires a university degree and specialized language skills, and living in the Helsinki area, I should NOT be earning BELOW the national median wage!!!

[2] A recurring theme in my art and what I try to do with it is wanting to be seen, so it would mean a lot to me to be able to point to my work and say "I did this," rather than writing anonymously as a contractor.

#work #moral of the story is that some linkedin headhunters are legit #I can't guarantee it'll be a dream job before I start #but it's OUT OF GENERATIVE AI HELL

[fizzybeakon]

agent 3 agent 4 agent 8 new agent 3

a knife a spoon a fork a spork

Seafoam/agent 3

she's very not herself anymore, used to be plucky but now she doesn't even play turf wars anymore, she feels like her life has spiraled so far out of control and there isn't anything left yet she wakes up everyday she always wonders what's keeping her in this continuous line cycle of wake up - day to day life/things that need doing - go to sleep - repeat. she's not angry but has a bad temper usually because she wishes her life hadn't take the turns it did if she could go back in time and stop it she would like to just be the kid she was playing turf wars with her old teammates even if that meant giving up the people she knows today (she wouldn't say that to her friends especially 8 whom she values most next to the squid sisters, she would tell Callie this only) 4 reminds her of herself before that's why she quote unquote doesn't like her. Will cut you as a warning - KNIFE

Pranha/Agent 4

very lazy only really able to get up and do anything if her life depends on it or she's dragged/forced into the situation. 0 motivation to do anything except complain and have bad takes (bad takes are just generally dangerous things to get out of doing work nothing super bad) she represents whats carefree and unapologetic. loves turfing its fun but she just can't bring herself to as much these days it has to be the right faze of the moon you dig? "ask questions later we don't need to know the details" fully believes Marie was trying to kill her and Callie wasn't missing until she saw it with her own eyes. Has a really mom - child relationship with Marie even if she says she doesn't will go as far to say she doesn't like Marie but she depends on her a lot and she's like the first person she'll run to when something goes wrong. Spends a lot of time with Pearl they get along because they are menaces to society. Likes spending time with Sushi and showing her cool stuff inklings do. Interacting with 3 is hard because she shoots her down all the time and seems to not want to interact with her but she forces her way in sometimes it's good sometimes it's bad. Will run before being forced to fight her way out cause it's easier and less effort is required - SPOON

Sushi/Agent 8

Can do attitude! she's always willing to work with you go out of her way to help you in anyway she can. Can't leave well enough alone in the best way. Doesn't have time for turfs due to all the things shes planned for herself helping out all the remaining octolings in the metro giving them clothes food and other supplies yet she's the only one who actually joins turfs the most next to new 3. Extremely fascinated with chirpy chips to the point she started dressing like her, that's her favorite musician. Regularly associates with off the hook tries to never not talk to all her friends at least once a day. Checks up on 3 tries to be the coaxing her back into a new life or a the old life. They have a connection and 8 cares for her deeply and wants to pull her from the hole she's put herself in. Very much a busy body, a twin to her brother who was cut from the same tentacle, colorful reminders and lots of sticky notes. Becomes fast friends with deadfish? you get one chance thats it you lose that your getting stabbed - FORK

Salmonie/New agent 3

the most normal out of everyone. I just got here energy. homeless energy using turf wars as a income so she doesn't really have a choice if she wants to do it not. regularly associates with squid sisters and deep cut mostly just Shiver she's kinda scared of Frey and Big man. doesn't really interact with the other agents or come around them she's out living her life with her friends not to say they aren't her friends she just views them more as workmates and never asked for all this craziness, saving the world giant bears and such. Keeps that part of her life a hush hush cause she thinks other kids will think shes weird or down right wont believe her if she did say it. She honestly thinks 3 is too mysterious and needs to tone it down but doesn't have the guts to say it to her face the closest she'll get it "she needs to take a chill pill" she can vibe with off the hook but never heard of them never met them before she heard they were all the rage back when. If you don't stop im cutting you, several chances were given - SPORK

hope that clears it all up for you guys on their personalities

#pranha #salmonie #seafoam #sushi #splatoon #splatoon 2 #splatoon 3 #new agent 3 #agent 3 #agent 4 #agent 8