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#anywways . sigh.
faineant-girl · 5 months
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carbonated water is so fucking bad it tastes like rotten water this shit is not good
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allaboutthatvvase · 11 months
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>Oh its no problem to her, she was always ready to put in extra effort for her job. Ane if he's talking about who she thinks he's talking about, she believes him considering she had to hear the bishop complain about someone recently. Still, she hopes this is a little better for the seadweller! The postal mistress would just need his signature for this and she'd be out of his hair. Which would not be a problem for Eri... minus the fact that he needed to lean forward to grab the clipboard, fuck-
"still i appreciate it and yeah theres perfect no reason to get fancy wwhen its gonna be gone in a feww minutes anywway heh"
He chuckles nervous, rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish grin before spying the clipboard- this woman certainly wasn't as short as the bishop, but, well, no way she was reaching passed this obstruction, either.
With a sigh, he starts to lean down- wincing when his stomach, only barely clearing his feet at this point, touches the cold tile almost immediately, grumbling in protest.
"heh..." He mumbles awkwardly, trying to ignore the way he had to lean even *farther* still, squashing his massive gut even more against the floor before he even had a prayer of reaching the clipboard- which he did with all due haste as soon as he could
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rayofsunas · 4 years
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 haikyuu!! as dads (pt.1)
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A/n: hello! starting off with a clean slate here yay! if some of the first few seem so short and the writing seems different, it’s because I wrote half of this like three days ago- anywways, requests are open btw!!
Summary: haikyuu characters as dads/domestic living. 
Pairings: Semi Eita, Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou, Oikawa Toru, Kenma Kozume 
Warnings: some timeskip spoilers, fluff, parenting, angst (kinda) swearing (maybe), crack, all characters are aged up
Word count: 1.8k 
Part Two!
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Semi Eita
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- the serious sometimes scary looking dad, but other than that he’s a fluff ball
- he may look scary but he simply cannot punish them for anything 
- especially after they bonded over music, legit cannot do nothing wrong
- on the days he’s not working or with his bandmates, you can often find him with his twin daughters, teaching them how to use different musical instruments 
- okay, so your daughters are still pretty young, so they aren’t very good at using most instruments, but for Christmas you and Semi got them both a small set of drums, something easy
- it was very cute to come home from work to see your husband and daughters loudly practicing on the drums
- sure at first it gave you a blasting headache, but after a while you got used to it, and even jammed out with them when you had the time
- mainly just random sounds/beats coming from the two five year olds, but Semi doesn’t mind, he’s willing to teach them and he does proudly 
- if one of his daughters or both wants too
- definitely writes songs for his daughters and you
- i can see him writing lullaby’s for them and working on them for hours making sure they were perfect
- lets just say they were perfectly beautiful 
- because you went to high school together, the nickname “semi semi” stuck with you (thanks chicken tendo)
- but your girls will also cutely call him “semi semi”
- you often bring them to concerts despite semi saying it’s probably too loud for them
- he’ll let you sit safely with them back stage uwu
- after he runs back to you three and is bombarded with hugs, high-fives and kithes
- YOU’RE ALL SO PROUD OF HIM
Bokuto Koutarou
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- bokuto is a hyper dad, which we all saw coming. there is no taking the child out of bo
- i feel like he’d want tons of kids, probably even uses his children as an excuse to act the way he does
- i can see him with a few kids, 3 to be exact (2 boys and 1 girl)
- he likes to be really involved with his children, and gets very sad/emo when he doesn’t see them for short/long periods of time
- for example, the Black Jackals is a whole different game field than high school volleyball and it’s much more time consuming and has him away a lot 
- when he does come home and has time off, let’s just say he clings to his children like a puppy
- even after a while THEY get sick of him and wanna ditch him, cue emo bo :(
- if his children gang up on him (which they do) cue emo Bo again :(
- he babies them all, can’t ever say no
- tends to go back on his word lmao
- if your oldest son begs and begs for season tickets to his favorite sports team? Bo KNOWS they can be expensive, and he was even scolded by you, but two hours after saying no, he runs back to his son and gives him the money 
- if your daughter wants to get her nails done with a group of friends, he knows she picks out the most expensive polishes, etc, BUT HE DOES NOT CARE, he will gladly give her the money and even go with her to get his nails done 
- yes, you heard me
- of course he’ll being chaperone for this girls day, he promises to pretend that he doesn’t know them and keep his distance (sit very far away lol), but after a little while its just hard to contain and he’s screaming to everyone in the salon that his daughter is sitting on the other side of the room eye- 
- your youngest son wants an expensive sports car? done
- he just wants to make his family happy, pleaseee
 Kuroo Tetsurou 
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- poor Kuroo, he has 2 daughters and you, so he’s surrounded by girls lol 
- he actually doesn’t mind it tbh
- between you and his two daughters, he wouldn’t have it any other way
- just gives him an excuse to be overly protective
- anywhere in public, expect either kuroo holding your hand
- or holding his daughters close to him (piggy back rides, yes)
- or, he stands protectively behind you and your daughters while you talk to someone, sending them threatening glares behind your backs 
- he was shy as a child, so it wasn’t surprising when one of his daughters, the youngest, was very very shy
- he doesn’t mind once again, just gives him an excuse to be protective 
- although he’s busy, he always makes time for his girls ALWAYS
- definitely a bragger
- if his family is brought into a convo, he pridefully will express how cute and smart his daughters are, may or may not openly declare his daughters are the cutest amongst his co-workers children
- he’s mad intuitive and aware/observant
- kuroo always knows when one or both of his daughters are about to start crying/throw a fit
- cue dad kuroo prepared to crack funny chemistry and or science jokes
- his shy daughter finds him very funny, doubles over every time he cracks a joke and calls him a “silly rooster”
- even when she's older she still laughs and even copies his jokes
- but his other daughter just cringes, every time sigh
- when she was younger she used to fake the laughs, but when he started saying the jokes in public she just stopped reacting, hoping he would stop-
- he didn’t...
- i like to imagine kuroo and kenma staying friends even after high school, and since kenma has hella video games and a whole arcade in his house, he’ll often bring his daughters over to his house
- his eldest daughter loves it at uncle kenma’s house
- cue jealous rooster dad
Oikawa Toru 
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- okay so oikawa is ALWAYS busy
- isn’t home much, except during off seasons or if he messes up his knee again (yes, it’ll happen) 
- in the event that he’s home due to a knee injury, he’ll wanna be catered too lmaooo
- he doesn’t expect his little girl to cater to him and really only teases you about it
- but his daughter will get him whatever he needs while he’s propped up on the couch
- she admires him so much
- his daughter kinda has a smart mouth-
- definitely got that from him, having picked up on it from a young age, while he was home
- when he was home once propped up with a messed up knee, she went “here dadkawa” as she handed him an ice pack
- he laughs at the nickname, asking you about where it came from later
“she was on call with hajime’s daughter yesterday... hajime asked how ‘poopykawa’ was doing”
- he just rolls his eyes, “at least he cleaned it up for her sake” you explained 
- will not lose the “kawa” part, so it’s dadkawa lol
- when he’s away, she’s always asking for dadkawa
- when he’s here they're inseparable
- morning breakfast now will be her sitting in his lap instead of yours
- she asks to watch cartoons with him instead of you :(
- bath time consists of her arguing with you as you try to wash her hair, while oikawa sits on the closed toilet seat laughing to himself
- “mommy i want dadkawa to wash my hair!”
- “you always whine that he gets soap in your eyes”
- “I don’t care!”
- when you bring your daughter to games, she’ll be cheering him on proudly, “mommy, look at dadkawa!” “GO DADKAWA!!!!”
- since he plays for the professional Argentine team, i figure you all live in Argentina now, traveling from Argentina and Japan was tiring, so you moved to be closer
- when the news approaches him after or before games, he makes sure to show his daughter off and the whole time it’s his daughter stealing the show
- she might be shy at first, but as long as dadkawa is holding her, she’s fine
- he’ll teach her Spanish, defiantly sings happy birthday to her in Spanish because it’s special
- he calls her his princesa (princess in spanish)
Kenma Kozume 
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- if his child didn’t enjoy video games like him or any of his hobbies like volleyball, I feel like Kenma would have a hard time with them
- he loves his son yes, but he’d have a hard time interacting with him, especially if he’s not into video games or volleyball
- if he is though, you can often find the two in kenma’s home office, playing games
- when your son was a infant, you would always come home from being out/work to find your son sitting in his pj’s on kenma’s lap watching his dad play video games 
- “it’s late, ken. i see he’s already in his pj’s- did you already have dinner?” “yes”
- “without me?” you asked, lifting up your son to give his cheeks kisses. “there’s apple pie in the fridge.”
- eye-
- yes he fed your son that, yes he needs a little guidance, yes he needs to be told apple pie is NOT dinner
- on another occasion of coming home, you found your boys in the same spot, once again playing video games, your sons eyes drifting between the game and his father every time he muttered under his breath 
- “the screen is bad for your eyes kenma, and he’s just a baby! he’ll get bad eyes too!”
- kenma’s short answer is, “he won’t” 
- when your son got older, and he started getting into video games, it got harder for you to tear his eyes away from the screen
- he’s been around video games his whole life, so of course it’d be hard, you just didn’t think he’d grow attached 
- kenma leaves most of the strict parenting to you, because he LEGIT doesn’t NOT know what to say
- he’s lowkey afraid he’ll push his son away if he says the wrong thing, but he’s also worried that if he doesn't say anything, they’ll have no real relationship, so he struggles 
- he tries his hardest to bond with him over video games and volleyball though
- as said by your son, kenma’s cooking can’t compare to yours, BUT he does know how to make a yummy apple pie
- his son will help kenma with said apple pie, when he’s younger he was often the taste tester and made a mess every time
- kenma gets nervous in huge crowds and really around anyone he doesn’t know, so if his son is a social butterfly he’ll try to get kenma used to people other than himself and you
- somehow, during the rare moments his son has problems (friends, school etc), kenma will be the one to speak up privately
- he’ll definitely tell his son to surround himself with a good friend/good friends, he also makes sure to let him know the importance of quality over quantity 
- he has a brotherly relationship with kuroo, and if not for kuroo he’d be alone, he wants the same thing for his son
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10.20.20, rayofsunas 
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flamedork · 7 years
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i got a new laptop bag and my laptop doesn’t fit in the compartment designed for it by like half a centimetre
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spidersfanfics · 3 years
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All The Fish in the Sea
Feferi x Eridan (Red) | Slight Angst? | Ancestors/Descendants as Family
"There's plenty of fish in the sea, but you're the only one for me."
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] --
CA: hey fef
CC:  )(i -Eridan!
CA: are you goin to the highblood ball?
CC: I'll probably )(ave to 38(
CC: It's going to be so BORING
CA: oh ok
CA: i just wwanted to check because i'll be there too
CC: Oh R-E-ELY?
CC: Maybe it won't be so bad then! 38D
CA: haha i'll see you there
CC: Yeah, bye!
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [YT] --
Eridan sighed, leaning back in his chair. Well, that was that. Feferi knew he was going to the party so if she didn't take the time to say hi, he may as well give up.
He shook his head. Gog he was pathetic when it came to Feferi. They'd started out as moirails but it didn't take long for his feelings to run red.
Unfortunately, Feferi didn't seem to feel the same. "Don't screww this up Ampora." Eridan muttered to himself and went to go get ready.
The time soon came for the ball and Eridan arrived, dressed in a purple suit, gold rings sparkling on his fingers. He adjusted his cape and headed into the palace, owned by non other than her Imperial Condecesion.
"Wvell, I'm off," Cronus said the moment they got there. He'd barely even bothered to get dressed up, wearing a plain back suit, his hair the only part of him impecable as always.
"See ya," and with that he was gone.
Dualscar shook his head, "Disgrace," he muttered. "Eridan, I must go join the others at the high table. Stay out of trouble." Then he left as well, leaving Eridan standing alone, still at the doors.
He sighed and scanned the crowd, hoping to spot Feferi. He gave up after a moment as the room only got more and more crowded as time went on.
Instead, he decided to wander around, perhaps talk to some other people. The hours ticked by as he traveled between groups of people, never staying in one place for too long.
Still no sign of Feferi. It wasn't long before the party was drawing to a close and he still hadn't gotten the chance to speak to the fuscia blooded heiress.
By then, Eridan had ended up outside. Alone with his thoughts, he sat, staring up at the sky. The sound of waves crashing against the shore matched the deafening cacophony in his head.
Suddenly, he heard a teasing voice next to him him, "Quadrant troubles?" He turned his head to see that Feferi had somehow managed to sneak up next to him.
He briefly forgot how to breath. Beautiful didn't begin to describe how she looked in her pink and blue ball gown. Completed with a golden tiara.
"Uh, you could say that." He stammered.
Feferi giggled, "Sorry I didn't come say hi earlier. My mom kept me busy meeting guest after guest, I couldn't even make time for the guest I wanted to see the most." She explained.
When Eridan didn't reply right away, she smiled and carried on, "But I'm here now, so tell me. Did you ask someone out and get rejected again?" She asked with a mischievous grin.
Eridan laughed, "No, not this time Fef." He paused then added, "Actually, the issue this time is that I havven't asked yet."
Feferi's eyes widened, "Ooh, really? And who's the lucky troll if you don't mind me asking?"
Eridan hesitated, "It doesn't matter. They're not going to accept anywways." He said dejectedly.
"Oh come on, so what if they don't? It's not the end of the world." She thought for a bit, "What was that expression your brother picked up from the humans? There are plenty of fish in the sea!"
Eridan sighed, "But wwhat if I don't wwant the other fish? Wwhat if I think you're a really special fish and-" he cut himself off realising what he'd said. "I mean-"
Feferi blinked at him in confusion, "What did you say?"
"Uh," Eridan stuttered, unsure of how to reply.
"I'm the girl you were going to ask?" She asked again in disbelief.
"Umm maybe?" Eridan said, squriming under Feferi's intense gaze, "I mean yeah, kind of. I didn't really expect to be asking today. But umm."
Feferi suddenly started laughing, "Eridan you're brilliant but you can be so oblivious sometimes."
Eridan stared in confusion, "Wwhat are you talking about? There's no need to laugh at me."
Feferi shook her head, "Sorry. It's just funny. I'm flushed for you too, dummy."
"Wwait, really?" Eridan stammered, "I wwas so sure you didn't feel the same wway!"
"Well, surprise!" Feferi said still giggling when she was cut off by Eridan who'd pulled her in for a kiss.
When at last they separated, they were both blushing. "Wwill you be my matesprite?" Eridan asked.
"Yes!"
And then they lived happily ever after.
"Eridan!" The fish prince was shaken out of his fantasies by his father's yelling. "Don't forget about the ball tonight! I need you and your brother to be on your best behavior!"
Eridan sighed, "Yeah, I knoww, I'll start getting ready soon. Just let me get this done first."
Leaning forward, he turned on his computer.
-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC] --
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“Come into my parlor,” Said the spider to the fish.
I know I’m not great at titles but oh well. This is an Eri.Vr.is oral vore fic! Mainly because I’ve been doing some rps and been caught up in the great dynamic they have imo. This is a sfw fic, but again it is a vore fic so if you turn away I won’t be offended. That said, I hope you enjoy and I’m always open to criticism!
There would be an unceremonious sigh that would come from a certain violet blooded sea dweller as he fiddled with the pieces for his latest scheme to exterminate all the land dwellers. Or at least, that would be what he had claimed he was doing, he never truly planned to execute it both due to lack of ambition and the resources. Really, the boasting and bragging about what he planned to do wasn’t as much of a threat as he liked to claim it was, and truly it was more along the lines of a need for attention than any true plans of committal. 
It had been a slow night for one Eridan Ampora, and having wasted most of it attempting to message any troll to either gossip with three of them or spew some rhetoric he didn’t fully believe. But even then, all that was accomplished was that he was being ignored while he vied for attention. All that was left was to stay cooped inside and rewatch old documentaries as he idly fiddled with historical figure memorabilia.
That was, it was all he had to do until someone had decided to free him from his self-isolation.
AG: Heeeeeeeey, Eridan. ::::) 
The sea dweller would squint, he didn’t think his rival would message him after deciding not to message her first. They had broken up when they were six sweeps due to him boring and overbearing; but some time after they turned seven sweeps, Eridan’s attempts to renew their rivalry would pay off after much work and effort. And now they had been going strong even after they hit nine sweeps old.
However, he would roll his eyes at the sight, he knew her innocent seeming spider smile was anything but.
CA: wwhat do you wwant you cerulean blowwhard dont you knoww im busy AG: I’m hurt! After all I went through to check on my dear rival! I would have thought he liked someone giving him attention. AG: Oh well! Guess I’ll just leave you to your devices seeing how you’re *so* busy, CA: god damn it wwait CA: okay maybe i got a bit of an openin in my schedule to wwaste time wwith you AG: Please! The only one who’s going to be wasting their time is me, we 8oth know you’re pro8a8ly doing something 8oring like watching one of your lame documentaries. CA: theyre not LAME theyre goin to be your miserable dirt munchin dowwnfall soon enough AG: Oh???????? 8old claim from you Ampora. Seeing how I know you’re dead wrong. AG: Anyway! You’re coming over to my hive today right? AG: Why am I even asking? You o8viously forgot. CA: i didnt forget i totally fuckin remembered our meeting at your stupid and completely ridiculous hivve AG: It’s not stupid! What’s stupid is the fishbreath who 8uilt his hive surrounded 8y the ocean when he 8arely spends any time in the water. AG: Whatever, just come over. I’m not waiting all day for your dum8ass. CA: ugh fuckin fine CA: you still havvent told me wwhat specifically you wwanted to do ovver there anywway AG : :::;)
And with that, the conversation was brought to an end. Eridan would rub his temples, her purposely vague answer meant any number of things, usually which ended in his embarrassment in one way or the other. Of course, it was better to just go over as soon as possible rather than him wasting time by speculating, even if he did plan to make her wait to purposely be fashionably late. Something to put his pompous attitude on display. Soon enough, Eridan would don his scarf and cape before leaving his hive and embarking on the trip to Vriska’s.
The trip wasn’t terribly long, mainly because traversing through the ocean was far from an issue and her home conveniently overlooked the sea. Even so, Eridan would hold make sure to wait for an extra amount of time for no reason than to uphold the gesture that he was royalty. Feeling accomplished with his amazingly petty task, he would approach the door and knock a few times before waiting for her to answer as he dried himself off as he uncaptchalogued a few towels.
Vriska would answer the door surprisingly quickly, having not had the patience to return his petty actions before pulling him inside and closing the door behind them both. The expression on her face was blatant annoyance, but that was far from the norm regardless if it was actual exasperation or not. Eridan would up look at the other troll with a frown, even since they had gotten older he would find that she had sky rocketed past him in height. He had been a respectable  height of nearly six feet, while she had him beat by additional four feet, much to his unending irritation and to her endless amusement.
“You’re late. Even after I went and so kindly reminded you of our little arrangement. Well, I guess everything’s little to me when you’re short, but the point stands.” “yeah yeah keep braggin vvris i wwas towwerin ovver you before-” “Sure, you had a few inches on me when we were six! But now we’re nine and you’re still short, how do you explain that, hm?” That would cause him to shut up rather quickly, though he would dart his eyes around and attempt to come up with a retort, only to fold his arms and huff soon after. It wasn’t uncommon for trolls to grow as much as she did, but the fact that he wasn’t one of them meant that  discussions of height were biased in her favor. Her ten feet tall favor. His violet eyes would eventually return to her cerulean ones, there had been smile on her face, one that reeked of mischievous intent. Before he could open his mouth to question her intentions, she would cover his mouth with her hand, and some of his face as a natural consequence of the difference in size between them.
“Alright Ampora, shut up for a minute and listen. I had you come over because I had a proposition that’s going to 8enefit 8oth of us. Here’s the deal: You got two minutes to hide somewhere, and I’m going to seek you out. If I can’t find you in 8 minutes, you win! And if you pick somewhere dum8 and I find you, I win! And the loser has to do whateeeeeeeever the winner wants! Sound good? ::::)”
Eridan would try to speak his response, only for Vriska to keep her hand pressed against his face, only pulling back once he felt something wet trail along it. Irritation making itself apparent with a scoff, she would return the favor by grabbing one of his hands, sticking out her tongue and  slowly pressing the wet muscle against the other troll’s hand in a rather long lick before finally letting him go. His hand utterly drenched in saliva, Eridan’s face would scrunch up as he shook his hand dry while a small tinge of violet came across his face. It made her brief taste of him all the more delicious. 
“for fucks sake fine ill WWIN your stupid land suckin game and then wwe can do somethin wway less ridiculous and more dignified afterwwards” His statement was spoken with his usual amount of sea dweller pompous pride, even if the chips were stacked against him. Even so, he held his head up high and puffed his chest out, not about to turn down a challenge that was surely easy enough to win. She had a castle, there must have been plenty of places to hide.
“Good! Now get going Eridan, unless you want to 8e 8oring and lame and make this too easy.” She’d give him a wink, teasing him over her self-assured victory and a lick of her lips. She had no problem hinting at what she wanted to do once she won, it made it fun to see him squirm.
He’d pause for a moment and confidence turned into brief uncertainty in less than a minute, “wwait you mean right noww i havvent fuckin evven gotten to-” He cuts himself off as he sees her turn away and start to count, realizing that she wasn’t even going to wait for him to prepare himself. He’d scramble off, the sea dweller handling himself incredibly well on land even when he’s running around wearing a rather long cape. 
He wasn’t used to hiding as he was often hunting for the sake of Feferi’s lusus, but he would certainly try his hand at it to the best of his ability. Of course, his first two attempts were less than idea, having run to the very bottom of her hive to try and disguise himself by burying himself under her pile of miscellaneous belongings, only to realize he was shifting too much. He’d then decide to try his hand at hiding on one of the upper floors, deciding that hiding behind her pile of treasure would have been an unlikely spot seeing how he resented her various wins against him during their FLARP sessions. Unfortunately, this would prevent him from hiding there for long, as he does grow irritated looking at her spoils and decided to leave before it caused those pitch feelings to flair too much. Ultimately, he would decide to hide somewhere so obvious, Vriska would never think to check. He was confident in this idea, so much so that he decided to take it easy and relax in his new found spot, all he had to do now was wait 8 minutes and win. He means eight.
Vriska, predictably, did not count the entirety of two minutes before she began her hunt. Rather, she stopped once she got to eighty eight and decided that was enough for her. When she turned around, she half expected Eridan to standing right there out of spite and stubbornness about the whole thing but to her delight the violet blood was playing along. The question was where to find him, if she had to guess, it was probably somewhere dumb, like him. And so her very first guess was her trophy room, because of course he would think she’d skip over her own hoard of treasure to look for him. But upon making her way up the many stairs to check, she would find not a hair of him to found. She was a bit annoyed her first guess wasn’t right, but she had extra time to spare and her next guess would most certainly be right.
Except it wouldn’t The next room would be devoid of Eridan, and the next and the next. It would seem that no matter where she searched, he was nowhere to be found, it raise her irritation with him, and with it her hunger. The stomach of the ten foot cerulean would grumble as she briefly put a hand on it and huffed, she had to give her rival credit, he was doing a good job at making her work for this. And here she thought she’d grab an easy snack. But the warranty of it was  wearing off as time passed on, even with her head start, it would seem that Eridan was safe wherever he had chosen to hide. She couldn’t allow this to happen, she had planned for this all to go a certain way, and the fact that it wasn’t was unacceptable. Annoyed, she’d retire to her block for a moment, purely for the sake of trying not to get too caught up and at least try to remain rational about this. Only a minute to go, there wasn’t much time left, and Vriska was certain she had searched about every place there was to offer. Unless...
Without a word, Vriska would approach her wardrobe dresser, there was no way he’d hide in there right? It’d be dumb and stupid and completely ridiculous! Well, she didn’t have time, so she would ultimately waste not a moment more as she ripped open the doors to her wardrobe and... found her prize. Eridan for one was shocked with the sudden burst of light and appearance of Vriska, who apparently been frustrated looking for him. He wishes he could have seen the whole experience, but from the noises she made he got his fair share of entertainment. “8h my g8d, r8ally!!!!!!!! Y8u hid in my wardr88e????????” There was an unending amount of vitriol pouring from Vriska now, irritation at herself and him were flowing freely, and despite Eridan’s surprise, he would waste no time in displaying adjusting himself and nodding, “of course i hid here because i thought youd fuckin ovverlook it seein howw all your attire is plain as SHIT and it wworked just god damn fine seein howw a certain obnoxious glory lovvin troll took forEVVER to find me-” He would step out with a large amount of pride, quite certain he had won, only for his eyes  to dart over to the clock in her room and his face would immediately fall. She had found him with ten seconds to spare. “wwell fuck”
Vriska would try to take a moment to herself to not have too radical an outburst, she was upset, but she also wanted to savor her prize. The expression on Eridan’s face certainly helped “Wwell fuck is right! I win! And that meeeeeeeeans you have to do what I want, and I think we both know what that is.” A chill would go down his spine, while Eridan could be clueless at times, she had given him more than enough hints as to what she wanted. It certainly hadn’t been the first time they had done such a thing, but it was more than a bit embarrassing for him, which made give her some push back on the idea. “are you fuckin kiddin vvris you didnt say anythin about this bein your prize-” “Don’t 8e coy!” She’d interrupt him immediately, taking a step closer to him as he took a step back. “ I made it plenty clear! 8esides! I win, and you agreed to the terms right? It’s only fair I get what I’m promised.” 
Another step forward and he’d take another few steps back and bump into the wall behind him, Vriska smirking as she’d get closer to him, their bodies practically touching as she leaned down towards him and her lips would slowly part, strands of saliva breaking apart as he start down that cerulean abyss, taking a few teasing swallows as she inched closer before letting her warm breath washing over him and fogging up his glasses.  A few drops of drool would fall into his face before she’d close her mouth pull away, letting the situation sink in for the sea dweller as well as calm herself down, she may have had a bit of cerulean tint her cheeks in the same manner violet tinted his. Eating someone in this manner was embarrassing after all, which was why she’d only do it in private, not that she’d ever admit it out loud. Eridan had similarly shared the sentiment on the other side of the spectrum.
While embarrassment would go around on both ends, the sea dweller still contemplated making a run for it; the thought of being consumed always did trigger a fight or flight instinct, regardless of the fact that she probably wouldn’t digest him. Before he can even make an attempt however, his body is kept in place by hands on his shoulders, she had decided that she wasn’t going to give him the chance to scramble off and hide again, “I hope you’re ready, because you’re going to be in there for a while~” She would lean in again, salivating as she brought herself closer yet as her jaws widened to accept her meal. Slow warm breaths would beat against his skin as she drew tantalizingly close, all the while the fish troll would gulp nervously.
Instinctively, he would press his hands against her face as she started to lean in, he wasn’t about to let his hatemate have her meal without at least giving some fight back. One hand on her top lip and the other on her bottom, there’d be some push back as she slowly closed the distance between them yet again, it was a losing fight on his end as the predator drew closer and closer, letting him stare once again into her mouth before her tongue would slide out to press against his face and trail upwards, taking his glasses with it and causing him to loosen his hold. It was all he needed give the spider troll all the leeway she needed. Before he can even think about his mistake, she would jolt forward and wrap her lips around his neck, sealing him inside the jaws of the ever hungry troll. A hum of approval would resonate around the noble of troll royalty, reveling in the taste of victory and her meal, saliva being thoroughly slathered across his face during his various attempts to voice insults and protests. Though that wouldn’t stop him from trying. 
While it was certainly dark in the other’s mouth, being a nocturnal species meant that Eridan could see each and every detail as she made sure to truly make him squirm. It wouldn’t be long before she’d take the first swallow, letting his glasses slide along her tongue before they were unceremoniously pulled down her gullet Of course. with that swallow, he would be brought only a short distance away from the opening in her throat, as his shoulders would be brought in next. Her teeth would be pressed against his clothes to  keep him in place as his struggles and attempts to free himself grew stronger despite the situation going in the opposite direction for him. Her tongue would waste no time in running over the formerly dry parts of the troll, drenching the top of his shirt as drool as she decided to move on with her meal and take the gulp that would trap him inside her throat and bulge it out with his struggling form.
His head now captured in a pulsating throat, Vriska can continue her meal in confidence he won’t wiggle out. Her hands would move to keep his arms pinned to his sides as she moved further down his body, a hum flowing freely as she continued this consumption of him. Drool would pool in her mouth and dripping down as his chest was next to slide between her jaws as Eridan was tugged further down her throat, slightly bulging it out as he defiantly tried to move it around. Her tongue was relentless in running along the fabric she brought into her mouth, it was a bit tasteless and bland, and she regrets not shredding the shirt when she had the chance, but she ultimately makes do. Mainly by lapping at the shirt to lubricate it before taking another swallow, sending him further down the slimy gullet.
Her lips and fangs now reach his hips, and his stomach is safely contained within her mouth. Now she could have a bit more fun with him. Her tongue would curl under the bottom of his shirt to gain access to his skin yet again, an unadulterated groan escaping her to make it well known how much she just enjoyed this feeling, the noises ringing through his ears amidst his own grunts and swears. She’d stop her swallowing for a moment, reveling in the taste and wanting him to squirm a bit longer for her and attempt to fight back against the intrusive tongue as it rubbed against him,  only to end up rubbing his body more against the wet muscle, her taste buds gets all the flavor she could ever want. What probably gets the biggest reaction from her is when she gives attention to his grub scars, which are oddly enough, pretty delicious for a reason she couldn’t quite explain. But they do elicit some sounds from Eridan was well, mainly increasingly flustered insults as he keeps kicking wildly. It was quite enjoyable a feeling if she were to be honest.
While she could have kept slathering, lapping and sucking on him for a considerable amount of time, a sudden loud growl would emerge from her stomach, reminding her that she was quite hungry still. And so, she’d wrap her hands around his legs to keep them still as the next series of gulps condemned the violetblood to his fate. There would be only the briefest moment where she would remove his shoes before finally sealing the deal, tracing the last of the troll’s form down with one hand as she pushed him down to her stomach. A long sigh would come out of her as she laid on back and massage her now bloated stomach. It was a lot of work to get him down and she was blue in the face, but she had done it. She could feel him fighting and hear his complaints both of which were more than annoying when she was trying to relax, but damn, it was always satisfying to do this. 
 Eridan, for his part, always had conflicting feelings about this. His face flushed violet and his entire body was absolutely drenched in ever warm saliva, it and he was now surrounded by a brilliant shade of blue that made up her stomach walls. He attempt to push and stretch it to its limits and cause her indigestion as a form of revenge, but all he would be met with was a few gurgles as the stomach churned around him. Luckily, it didn’t seem like he was going to be digested, otherwise he would have been splashing stomach acids all over him from his struggles, instead of other contents in her stomach. It included a few eight balls and dice, unsurprisingly. Despite his best efforts, he would only slightly stretch out her grey skin as Vriska could see her bloated stomach wiggling and bulging with his form, she was content to keep him in there.
It would be a few minutes before Eridan’s protests would die down and he’d resign himself for now as he attempt to get comfortable against the soft stomach lining that surrounded him. As embarrassing as this had been, he had expending his stamina and his frustration dying down to contempt. It would allow her to relax a bit more and close her eyes. She thinks she’s going to take a nap before they do anything else. She might let him out later but for now, this was just another mark of victory for her. It was fun, they’ll have to do this again sooner rather than later.
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itsloveit · 4 years
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Ho, Ho ,Ho 🎅 Merry Christmas @vierschanzentournee!
It’s your Secret Santa speaking. I wish you spending good Christmas time with your loved ones 💖🎄 I made this phone wallpapers special for you. First one is just straight up shitpost, the second is (let’s say) more asthetic. To the last one i added some backstory. I noticed that you also love Star Trek so i decided to cross 2 universe together 🎿🛸 It’s my fist attemp to write anything in English  also i never watch any of the movies/series. So i am sorry for eventual mistakes or just bad writing itself. Anywway I hope you’ll enjoy it, love 💖
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
The crew of the USS Enterprise ship peacefull fall asleep. Another day, another mission awaits tomorrow. Suddenly the silence was broke by the only awake member controling the ship, who certainly did not expect to see anything interesting on his watch, besides some usual distance planet.
-Capitan?- he spoke through the speaker as he got up from chair - I think we have a huge problem
-What?- raspy voice slowly floded the air - You broke the coffee machine again?
-The code red is here sir, i repeat we have the red helmet on the road!- the guy named Raff was too excited to even react on joke that the other one made
-No way!- the line cut as few moments later Capitan showed up on the bridge. He looked over the window.
-Check out the latest winter competiton that took place on on Earth- he ordered
-I already did and you’ll never guess what
-Last time they flew that far was during the Olympics in 2014 so i think i will be suprised - Capitan resonded looking at the coordinates- We are at the Airotsith? I think it’s the new record- he whistle with admiration
-Last noted competion take place in Planica and the last jump was apparently  10 minutes ago performed by leading Markus Eisenbichler. -Raff said reading from screen- And as i assume he won- He added with smirk and showed him the clip of the crowd chanting “Markus, Markus!” and the coach platform where Stefan Horngacher just kissed his assistant.
The both of them burst in laugh
-Same - Capitan agreed  - Oh my, it remides me of the Malysz-ache, remember?That nice mustache guy. We used to dragged him back on Earth at least 2 times in month. Good times and wonderful man he was, indeed - he looked at the distance with sigh.
Raff gently coughed.
Capitan blinked quickly
-Okay let’s help this lost penguin out- he clapped and pointed on Markus floating upside down behind the clear window. He sat at the chair behind the panels - It’s impossible to bring him on the decoration but if we speed up twice we’re gonna make it for the afterparty, at least - He clicked a few buttons and the ship hummed quietly
-We have to hurry up - Raff sat next to him - It was long time since we last invite ourselfs over and i sense the second Deutschen Haus here.
-Ya better go wake up the rest of crew, we will welcome our Marcus boi with space champagne and hope he isn’t get a asteroidshook yet- Capitan wave him off.
by M.G- Christmas 19′
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Sigh. It’s really funny howw my other friends thought that I wwouldn’t showw up evventually, hm????????
Anywway, since your favvourite troll is noww here, you all can start givvin’ me questions~
[Eridan Serket - Now available for questions!]
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stellar-aide · 5 years
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> Kanaya: Discuss, once more.
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eridacnis · 6 years
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sigh anywway fefs hot and im hot and wwere incredibly 100% hot together
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carcinoaquarium · 7 years
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ok I knowv I'm banned from your asks again and all, but that's just rotten. vwho the fuck evwen cares that much to report someone ovwer something that dumb. it's just a game. some people got no sense of respect... and this is coming from a guy vwho's REAL 8AD at respect. I mean just look at me here in your ask box ignoring your ban again.
yeah i got no clue probably just some little petty vvindictivve bulgebag wwho thinks theyre the flight risin tag police or somethin
honestly wwe aint the only ask blog to havve multiple assholes runnin it so i got no clue wwhy they decided wwere obvviously one person OR wwhy flight risin banned us both wwithout evven checkin wwhether the claim wwas legit
but wwhatevver im tryin not to let it ruin my day but im just really bad at lettin go a bein angry wwhen somethin unfairs done against me or kar like i am unreasonably bent out of shape ovver this
anywway i guess youre unbanned for noww since youre actually bein pretty fuckin reasonable but this unbannin is probationary an i reservve the right to reinstate it for any conceivvable infraction wwhatsoevver
so dont be an idiot fuck youre gonna be an idiot wwhy do i evven bother pretendin elsewwise
fuckin SIGH
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“Okay, so, how’s party planning coming along for Eve’s surprise party, birthday bash, thing? I’ve been shit with helping you plan this so I feel awful, but, I have a surprise for you for Christmas for helping me and shit. So you tell me if you want it now or not... cause I’m probably gonna give it to ya now anywway....” Sighing a little he gave Em and soft, sincere look. “I’m sorry about your home by the way... At least you and Wilbur are safe though...”
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@septembersxrose​
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mood of the night kids is missing fef more then anyfin' in the wwhole wworld and knowwing she'd probably nevver forgivve me but missin' her anywway and crying for a good twwo hours. sigh. (#kk)
“mood of the night kids is missing fef more then anything in the whole world and knowing she'd probably never forgive me but missing her anyway and crying for a good two hours. sigh. (#kk)“
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eridacnis · 7 years
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@blacklacedsarcasm​ @autolxtriia​ @chillwwavve​ @bunnyinthebox​ @gravitatingapoptosis​ @meowderous​ @relickt​ @dreamtimesovereign​ @cacodoxies​ @arsenicgodtier 
i wwas JUST about to praise tumblr for lettin me tag evverybody wwithout havvin to twweak things and then right at the last url it doesnt wwork anymore come the fuck on anywway im eridan and honestly im not all that sure wwhy im still on this site after all this time its a fuckin hellhole that cant evven function properly sigh wwho are you
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eridacnis · 7 years
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👀 Why don't you just explain ALL the crushes on the list while we're at it
Send my muse “👀 + a question” and they’ll have to answer with 100% honesty.
wwhy are you like thissigh
capurre is a pale crush wwe click in a wway i havvent evver wwith anybody else it just wworked from the day wwe started talkin and its likei dont knowwi feel like its fate alright im stupid
aberrantcadenza is yet another pale crush cause she fuckin helped me out wwithout really gainin anythin from it and gettin evven further than all my other mates havve before shes gettin under my shell and its gettin uncomfortable but shes still nice about it and im confused
kiilohaem is a stupid fuckin thing that happened and i didnt crush on them before just likemaybe a little wwhile after my apologieswwhatevver they lovve it anywway i mean like seein me all pathetic so my job is done i guess
and i explained the last one already so
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eridacnis · 7 years
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@dignifiedsanctimonious 
could you just i dont knoww maybe havve followwed a feww minutes earlier so i couldvve added you to the last greeter post instead of havvin to make a neww one for you SIGH you guys really like to make my life fuckin difficult for me ANYwway im eridan ampora and wwho are you
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