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existentialcrisistime · 8 months

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Nic's AOS McKirk fic recs part 1:

longer (mostly 10k+ and/or multi-chapter), more plot-focused works

There are SO MANY excellent McKirk fics out there, and I'm only scratching the tip of the iceberg with these ones, but these are ten of my top favourites (you know, the sort of fics where you have to either yell in the group chat or stare into space for a bit afterwards, then think of it constantly for the following week?), so I hope some of the ones in here become your favourites too.

And remember, be kind, leave kudos/comments where you can, and enjoy!

In no particular order, we have:

jim kirk's guide to starship management: how to work with people you don't like by espressohno (E, 23k)

Jim has an anonymous hookup (read: the best sex of his life) with who else but the one and only Leonard McCoy, who's scheduled to start as the Enterprise's CMO the next day. Hijinks (emotions and miscommunication) ensue. A great exploration of Leonard and Jim's relationship, based around the question of: what if they met under slightly different circumstances?

unscrew the stars by espressohno (E, <10k)

Jim, lamenting his inability to pursue personal relationships due to being Captain of the Enterprise and under Starfleet's fraternisation rules, believes he's found a loophole that allows him to sleep with his CMO. Leonard, however, wants something more. Another one by espressohno, and honestly I'd recommend pretty much anything by this author.

Ask me again in the morning by @torsamors (G, 26k)

Time loop fic: Bones is stuck in a time loop. This fact upsets Jim every time he finds out, but Bones definitely isn't having a fun time either. An excellent getting-together fic told from the perspective of Jim outside the loop, with plenty of hurt and comfort.

One Little White Lie by laughter_now (M, 71k)

Jim lies about being married to Leonard after an accident which leads Leonard to losing his memory, which quickly spirals out of control. An incredible, emotional exploration of the fake marriage and amnesia tropes, becoming so much more than the sum of its tags. Another one for the fellow fans of Bones Having a Real Bad Time, with plenty of Jim angst in there too.

A Wish in the Dark (for a bulletproof heart) by drmcbones (T, 18k)

Without giving too much away: one close call too many for Jim has Leonard at the end of his tether. Somehow, a mysterious medical/magical ailment links the two of them together - how long can they keep it secret from even each other? I say this about every fic on the list, but this one is absolutely excellent - a really interesting plot I hadn't read much like before.

Catching Fire (The Firehouse AU) by kel_1970 (E, 46k)

21st Century fire department AU. Paramedic Leonard McCoy flees a disastrous break-up in Savannah and ends up working at a fire department in Iowa where he meets Jim Kirk. I know this one is on pretty much every McKirk rec list, but for good reason! A beautifully-written, emotional rollercoaster of a fic with rich settings and side characters. Will rip your heart out and stamp on it, then carefully piece it back together again. I read this one over a year ago and still I think of it on a regular basis, it hurts so good.

I Will Hold As Long As You Like by @excavatinglizard (T, 18k)

The Lighthouse fic. Set post-Into Darkness, Leonard takes Jim to a lighthouse to convalesce. Together they learn to weather the storm. A beautiful, emotional character study with rich settings that paint such a picture in the mind. Also comes with (beautiful) art and a playlist to really set the scene. Another one that I read over a year ago, as it was being published, and still think of on a regular basis.

Take a Bite of My Heart Tonight by EntreNous (T, 26k)

Vetenarian Bones AU. Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy get off on the wrong foot as soon as they meet. So if Jim wants another shot with that gorgeous but grumpy veterinarian, he had better get his hands on some pets who need vet appointments, right? Such a fun, sweet, mostly fluffy fic of Jim getting up to some absolute (mostly unsuccessful) antics to win Leonard's heart

three sundays by espressohno

The fight club AU. Not Fight Club the film so much as a literal fight club: Leonard goes to fight club to get his anger out. Jim goes to fight club to get hurt. Leonard realizes this, and decides he doesn't want to hurt Jim anymore, but he doesn't want to stop seeing him, either. Plenty of hurt/comfort, and a whole lot of aftercare.

palimpsest by @fireinmywoods (E, 61k)

What can I say about this one that hasn't already been said? Such an incredible story, even if the final chapter did make me yell out loud the first time around (and I mean that in the most affectionate way). I've read this one twice now and got something completely different out of it each time - an enjoyable read the first time but even richer with hindsight, so cleverly constructed. As for the plot - the Enterprise is sent to negitiate readmission to the Federation with an isolationist religious group known as the Kindred. While there, Jim notices that some of the children seem to be gravely ill. The Kindred do not allow a doctor to be brought in, and so Jim... well, he improvises. + 9 (so far) further, shorter works to flesh out the whole Palimpsest verse, which I enjoyed just as much as the original story - especially aganorisis (E, 15k), which I guarantee you'll want to read right after. Can mostly be read out of order, but you gotta read Palimpsest first, I promise!

And that's it for now! Thank you for reading, please tell me which ones you enjoyed the most (or your own favourite longer/plotty McKirk fics), and keep your eyes peeled for part 2

#mckirk #fic recs #aos mckirk #star trek aos #aos #nic watches star trek

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tigereyes45 · 4 months

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AOS mckirk + 43? ❤️

Prompt 43 was, "Why aren't you eating?" You can find the list of prompts here. I originally wrote a version of this request where it's Jim not eating, but then my mind kept saying, but what if it was McCoy. So I did that. XD There's going to be a second part to this where Jim is the one not eating. You can also read the story on AO3 here:

Summary:

It's easy to push aside eating in favor of finishing a task at hand. Everyone needs reminders sometimes.

Start:

When Jim Kirk steps into McCoy's private office space, there's a swagger that's ever-present in his moves. A self-confidence that's more act than reality. Leonard has enough kindness to keep from announcing the fact. The doctor lowers a PADD that had been claiming his ever-dissipating attention, for the last hour and a half.

"Nurse Chapel tells me you haven't been eating." The doctor drops his PADD onto his desk as if he couldn't be bothered to read it for another moment.

“She told you.” McCoy corrects before rolling his eyes. It’s official. No more late-night lab tests with Spock. The vulcan’s beginning to rub off on him. Leonard shakes his head. His fingers impatiently tap against the PADD’s screen. "Christine needs to learn how to keep information to herself." Jim’s foot began to subconsciously tap along with Bones’ fingers. McCoy huffs and crosses his arms. "It's unprofessional."

"She worries about you Bones." Kirk leans against the doctor's desk. A knowing smile on his face. "I worry about you."

That’s obvious. Despite his role as captain, Jim has never been able to hide his favoritism. He’s kept those who he first encountered on the ship closer than most others. Their history throughout the academy resulted in McCoy being allowed closer than most. Even more so than the bridge crew.

"I don't need you worrying over me." Bones insists. How many times have they had a conversation like this? With another huff, he stands up. "And leave Christine alone. She's a rather skilled nurse. I'd hate to lose her. Again." That last word came out with a little more bite than he intended.

"I'll keep that in mind."

There's so much work to do. Wounds to heal, chests waiting to be sewn up, check-ups, vaccinations, physical therapies to watch, paperwork to sign off on, newly released research to catch up on, and then review. All before they head off to start this new five-year mission. The work never ends, and damn it! He's a doctor. If anyone knows how far and long their body can go, it's him. No puffed-up captain is going to tell him otherwise.

"Bones," Jim's soft call is followed by a hand clapping around McCoy's shoulder. Leonard shrugs the handoff. Concern fills Jim's face. His usual smirk now hangs awkwardly open. No doubt the gears are turning in that quick mind. Nimble as a fox. That's what his father would’ve called Jim.

If they ever had the chance to meet.

"I just want to make sure you keep some meat on you." Jim jokes, rounding on McCoy. He folds his arms over his chest and offers a light smile. Even that small smile would be enough to brighten up most of McCoy's days. Not now though. There’s no time. He’s due for a surgery in about eight hours. Eight hours that’ll pass in a blink of an eye if he’s not careful.

"I've got work to do Jim." Leonard tries to step around.

Jim swiftly sways and weaves to keep in his way. "Come on Bones. Join me for lunch."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can.” Jim’s the one rolling his eyes now. “Take a break.” He throws a hand out, leaning in the doorway. Thoroughly blocking McCoy’s only way out. “Captain's orders." He adds with a wink.

"I said I can't." It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but there’s too much on the scales. He has to keep going just to keep them balanced. Otherwise, Jim will be short on crew, and missing talented people. Individuals that may keep him alive. Out there in the vast emptiness, they’ll only have each other to count on. Starfleet won’t be able to help if they get into trouble. They can’t have come so far for McCoy to make a mistake. Not now. Not again.

McCoy furrows his brows and fights back the memories threatening to take his attention. Deep down Leonard knows why he’s doing this. Why it has become so easy to push his own needs aside and focus on all the lives on board.

Part of it is his training. Doctors of all kinds learn early on in school how to push down the biological signs of hunger and stress. When you have lab results due in the morning, but the tests haven’t run their full course yet, and midterms are around the corner, while professor after professor is encouraging you to start thinking about your thesis work now before you even manage to get out of undergrad, well stress becomes seconded nature. Exhaustion, hunger pangs, and increased anxiety that verges on panic attacks, all get swept under the rug, and suppressed until a body can’t go on anymore. By the time they get to medical school most students have bodies that are simultaneously, in a horrendous state, yet conditioned to work through it. They keep to themselves. Reminding himself with post-its, handwritten notes scrawled in the empty spaces of his books, and phone alerts to drink water, eat food, and take five minutes to close his eyes before pushing on. Always aware of the fact of the hypocrisy between the instructions he gives to patients on how to care for themselves as he works himself to the bone.

Leonard’s trained not to share his own problems. To ignore his own needs, but even that can only go so far. Deep down there’s more to it. A fear deeper than the grief that washes over him as he loses a patient. Something that motivates him more than any fear he experienced when in school or out in space.

He can’t lose Jim again.

"And I said you can." Jim opens up his arms, talking with his hands. "You're not much help to anyone if you're all skin and bones."

The timing had been more. Leonard knows that’s not what James was saying. He wasn’t invalidating the fear, but rationality wasn’t home today. "Damn it Jim, I said no!" McCoy’s hand goes flying past Jim, towards the door’s control. Fingers catch on the bottom of Jim’s long sleeve as his palm smacks the buttons.

It’s painful how ingrained that loss had become in his life. Terrifying how the mere thought of it sends his mind spiraling as if lost to a deep, powerful vortex that sucks everything else away.

"Hey!" Jim pushes a hand against Leonard's chest. "Watch the hand, McCoy."

McCoy pulls his hand back. His fingers were shaking. With a deep sigh Leonard folds them in. Doing his best to calm his racing nerves the doctor closes his eyes. Doing his best stern, yet calm voice Leonard says, "Just get out of here Jim. I've got lives to save, and people who need fixing." People you need.

Leonard opens his eyes slowly. The look on Jim’s face was one of determination. Better than heartbroken. McCoy can only imagine his own expression. He needs to get back to work.

“Nurse Chapel.” Christine appears right behind him, as if waiting for Jim’s call. “When is Doctor McCoy’s next scheduled appointment?”

“In eight hours sir. It’s Lieutenant Alfonse’s surgery.” An engineer skilled enough, that Scotty himself has been asking after his health since they first discovered the kidney issue.

“Does he have any pressing matters in the meantime?”

Christine doesn’t even bother pretending to look at the datapadd in her hands. “No sir?” Her eyes stare McCoy down.

“He’s officially off shift. Call me directly if there’s an emergency.” Leonard fights back the urge to swear. Jim really isn’t going to let this drop.

“You sir?” Chapel asks, trying to get a look at the captain’s face. The man keeps his back to her, and his eyes trained on McCoy.

Jim crosses his arms. “He’ll be eating with me in my room.” A new smirk adorns his face. “Won’t you Bones?”

Sensing no room for argument McCoy agrees through gritted teeth, “I guess I will, sir.” He added that last word to make it clear that while he’s bending he’ll remember this. If Jim’s bothered by that idea, he doesn’t act like it.

Jim steps aside, finally letting Leonard pass by. Chapel steps back out of the way, heading over to the bio beds, with a polite nod of her head. Leonard steals a glance at her datapadd. It wasn’t even turned on. They planned this! Jim comes bounding after. He lightly pats Leonard’s arm, as he falls into step beside the doctor. “No be angry Bones. You’re gonna like this.”

“I like working.”

Jim playfully smacks McCoy’s chest. “No you don’t. You like fried potatoes, dumplings, and steak bites.”

That stops Leonard dead in his tracks. “What?” He turns to face Jim whose got the biggest shit-eating grin. Sickbay’s front door slides shut behind them.

Jim grabs both of McCoy’s arms, and fix the end of his short sleeves. “Like I said,” Jim leans closer practically bubbling with energy. “You’ll like it. I even used basil.”

This time Leonard couldn’t keep his face from forming a wide, disblieving smile. “You what?” Did that mean Jim actually cooked? Yeah they were still on Earth but it must’ve been out of his way to go and grab actual food from a market. McCoy’s stomach growls, voicing it’s lack of care over where the food came from, or how it was prepared. Either way he has to try it now. As if it wasn’t already being required by Jim.

A home cook meal. Literally. It shouldn’t be such an odd thought considering that the Enterprise was going to be his only home for the next five years. Leonard had expected to only eat synthesized food for it all. An actual cooked meal, made with fresh ingredients, his mouth starts to water.

The captain was already a few steps down the hall, as McCoy’s feet finally lift and start to follow. With each step bringing him a little bit closer to the promise of food, his body grows lighter. There’s still a lot of work to do. Guilt threatens to rear it’s ugly head back up, but Jim’s smile banishes the thoughts to the deepest recesses of Bones’ mind.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget to actually enjoy his time with the people he wants to save.

Another lesson trained into the practice, unfortunately.

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