#apathetiics
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Chapter 6 - File
Nick Fowler x Shy CIA Employee
Under the Radar Masterlist
Chapter 5 - Done
Warnings: references to sex trafficking
(I’m sorry in advance for this 😵💫)
Wordcount: 2452
You went to work the following day with your head held high. Nick was actually out of the picture, you could finally move forward with your life.
As long as you ignored the nagging feeling of longing deep in the pit of your stomach.
You slipped into your desk chair and logged on as Agent Leigh walked by, waving cheerily at you. You waved back awkwardly, forcing a smile as he disappeared down the hallway. His face has healed up nicely over the last few weeks. He’d been acting really strangely since the black eye incident, always making an effort to greet you and engaging in small talk. You almost preferred when he didn’t know you existed.
You were sorting out your inbox when Joe appeared at your desk. Your face lit up and you couldn’t ignore the little surge of happiness at seeing him.
“Hey! How are you? How did it all go? You didn’t text me back yesterday - I was worried”.
He smiled, running a hand through his hair. Hot.
“Sorry…it ran late and I was so exhausted by the time I got home I just sorta collapsed. But it went perfectly, I’ll tell you all about it later - but right now, Walsh has requested to see us”.
“Alright…is everything okay?” You asked tentatively.
Joe shrugged. “I guess? Maybe he just wants to debrief after yesterday. Or maybe he’s got an update on Colebrook and the truck”.
“Imagine if he’s in custody? That would be amazing” you beamed.
Joe smiled back. “Here’s hoping”.
You both walked to Walsh’s office who asked you to sit down. He had a face like thunder and you knew it was bad news before he’d even opened his mouth.
“Both…I’m sorry to tell you that Colebrook has gone AWOL. He disappeared right before our guys came by to arrest him. Looks like he may have travelled out of state and he dumped the truck. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I know how hard you both worked on this. Especially you, with the CCTV” he sighed, nodding your direction.
You were unable to mask your disappointment. All those hours trawling through the footage, staying here until the early hours…it had all been for nothing.
“No….” You said softly.
Joe whispered “Damn”.
Walsh grimaced. “I’m afraid so…look, it doesn’t take anything away from your achievement, alright? It’s just the way it goes sometimes. We win some, we lose some. We just gotta keep going. We’ll find another lead. It’s only a matter of time”. He checked his watch. “Alright. Get back to it. Dismissed”.
You trudged out of the office, your ankles feeling like they had weights attached as you slumped into the conference room.
“Hey…it’s okay” Joe soothed. “Like Walsh said, it happens”.
You sighed as you sank into a chair. Logically you knew he was right but you were disheartened all the same.
“What happened? How did he know?” You asked, not particularly to Joe, just generally.
Joe sighed. “Who knows. Maybe he has a source in the sheriff’s department. Maybe the informant is playing both sides, or someone figured out the CCTV had been compromised. Or maybe…it was just an unlucky coincidence. Maybe he was always planning to move on at this time and we just missed him by a few hours”.
You exhaled, leaning over and pushing your face against the cool wood of the table. “I thought this was going to be it…” your voice was muffled against the surface.
“It’s crazy how we can’t track down a single person at the top of this thing” you continued. “How do they keep evading us?”
Joe leaned over and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. You felt a jolt of electricity and felt grateful he couldn’t see your face.
“Look…you care so much” he said kindly. “And it’s not a flaw…but the fact is, the nature of this work means that sometimes you will unfortunately spend hours - maybe days or weeks - on bad leads. It sucks. But you’ve just gotta move onto the next one. The bad guys want you to be apathetic. They want you to feel like giving up. But we can’t let them win”.
You sat up straight again, looking into his kind eyes once more. “You always know what to say” you sighed. “Thanks Joe”.
He smiled. “I’m always here for you. You know that”.
“How do you do it? How do you not let it bring you down when this stuff happens?”
He shrugged. “Experience, I guess. I’ve been through this far more than you have. On one of my first cases I spent two weeks following a guy to figure out his routine, only to find out the real guy had actually fled to South America weeks before - and the guy I’d been following was some decoy who had been paid to wear a disguise. Just a random dude in a fake beard and sunglasses”.
“No!” You gasped.
He chuckled. “Sadly, yes. I was hiding out in dumpsters and everything. Can laugh about it now…but at the time I wanted to quit the CIA and run out to the country to become a farmer or something instead”.
You smiled wistfully. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t”.
He smiled back, giving your shoulder a little squeeze.
“Me too…” he said fondly.
Before you knew it you found yourself leaning into him, it was just so…easy and clear. Uncomplicated. Not like Nick…although Nick was…well, Nick.
Joe wasn’t Nick though was he? And maybe that’s the problem.
You ignored that stray thought and leaned in further. You watched as Joe’s eyes dropped to your lips, then he leaned in too, tilting his head. You were mere inches apart when he stopped suddenly.
“We can’t…” he breathed.
You bounced backwards in your chair, smoothing your hair and fiddling with your fingers out of embarrassment. “Oh…God, I’m sorry. I didn’t-Joe I’m sorry I-I shouldn’t have…”
“No…it’s okay” he said softly, stroking a finger across your jawline. He smiled kindly.
“Believe me…I want to. Like really want to…but we gotta work together. I don’t want it to get awkward or weird you know? Or jeopardise the important work we’re doing together” he sighed.
You nodded. Typical Joe, of course he was looking out for the best interests of the case. That’s just the kind of man he was.
You nodded, managing a small smile. “You’re right…of course you’re right”.
“Look…” he said soothingly. “I like you a lot. Okay? And I think it’s possible we could have something here. But maybe we could see where we are once Project Cotton is over? Then we can really have space and time to explore what this might be”.
You smiled again. “That sounds perfect”.
“As soon as this is done…I’ll take out for a crazy big meal and a bottle of wine. Sound good? Really wine and dine you” he grinned.
“It’s a date” you giggled.
He squeezed your hand then got up and resumed his normal spot at the whiteboard. You smiled at his back as he stood and looked at the wall of evidence, scratching his chin thoughtfully. He was a good agent and a good man. He had integrity. He wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of the case, because that’s just who he is.
You fiddled with the letter opener, glancing out of the glass wall of the conference room onto the office floor. Nick walked by with Mace and the two of you made eye contact. You shot him a tiny smile as an attempt to be friendly but he turned away and continued walking, laughing at something Mace had said.
It was probably for the best, but you couldn’t help the small gnawing of sadness you tried your best to forget.
*
Later that evening you were getting ready for bed after a long call with Annie. She’d listened sympathetically to your near miss with Joe and what he’d said, and had agreed it sounded like a sensible idea to see how things naturally developed once you’d finished the project. It had been helpful to go through it all with her - but you didn’t mention the lingering feelings about Nick. It would actually be real if you said it all out loud.
Before you got into your pyjamas you took a quick look at your work phone. Sometimes you had a glance at emails at night just to see what awaited you in the morning so there were no nasty surprises, but didn’t reply to or work on any of them.
You frowned as you noticed one of the messages you’d sent to Walsh with the draft of your preliminary report hadn’t sent…and he had emailed asking where it was! Fuck! That deadline was today. You felt nauseous, this wasn’t like you. Normally you would’ve immediately clocked that the report hadn’t gone through. The stuff with Joe must’ve distracted you. You frantically tried to re-send it but the attachment hadn’t pulled through properly.
Walsh hadn’t followed up since that first email so maybe it wasn’t urgent, but you’d promised him he’d have it today - and you always delivered - that’s what you told him when he put you on this assignment. You couldn’t let him down. You scowled, glancing at the time - nearly 10pm…
You thought for a moment and made a split decision - grabbing your coat and heading out to your car. The report was on a USB drive that was sitting on your desk. You could visualise its location perfectly next to your coffee mug. You would drive over to the office, download the file, send it to Walsh with a grovelling apology and then come home - if you left now you could be back in bed in 30 minutes. Easy peasy.
Sure, you could get up extra early tomorrow and head in before 9am - but you knew yourself well enough to know you’d be unable to sleep tonight worrying about it. Besides, maybe Walsh would be impressed by the dedication to fix your mistake.
So off you went, getting to the office parking lot in record time - amazing how much easier it is with no traffic. You parked up and headed in, swiping your security pass at the door.
“Hey Ms Girly! What are you doing here?” Grant asked as you went past the front desk.
“You getting a head start on the morning?” He joked.
You grinned. “I forgot to do something for the boss - I’ll be in and out in 10 minutes tops”.
He laughed, shaking his head. “You work too hard…but hey, it’s your life. My shift ends in a few minutes but Ernie’s coming to take over…promise me you’ll ask him to walk you to your car when you’re done, okay?”
You nodded back at him, “I promise” you smiled.
“Seems everyone is working late at the moment…” he sighed as he put his jacket on, getting ready to hand over to Ernie.
You wondered what he meant by that but wanted to get back home so just let yourself into your floor with your pass. Some of the lights were on which surprised you, but maybe another agent had carelessly forgotten to switch them off or the cleaning staff had just been around.
You switched on your laptop. The USB was exactly where you left it. You plugged it in, downloading the report and fired it off in your reply to Walsh - apologising profusely for the oversight. The whole thing took less than five minutes. Phew. No crazy panic tomorrow morning at least.
You smiled with satisfaction as you closed your laptop and got up to leave. Just as you moved to go, the letter opener caught your eye, perched on the edge of your desk. The shining silver glinted under the dull lighting. You smirked. Pesky Joe. Well, your turn.
You took a detour via Joe’s desk on your way out, dropping the delicate dagger on his notebook as you passed. Just as you were leaving…something caught your eye.
A file next to his keyboard.
You frowned. Joe wouldn’t normally be so careless as to leave out confidential material like this. How unlike him.
You picked it up, figuring you could slot it into the cabinet before you left. You flicked it open to see the details and figure out where it should be filed.
Your blood ran cold.
On the first page there was a large photograph of yourself.
You weren’t looking at the camera. It was a candid, taken from across the office. You could see Palmer’s desk in the background. In the image, your face was twisted in thought as you looked off dreamily into the distance.
Underneath you found a detailed list of facts about yourself. Your name. Date of birth. Height. Weight. Hair colour. Eye colour. Birthplace. There was a copy of your drivers license included too.
“What is this?” You whispered with horror as your stomach flipped.
This wasn’t a CIA staff file. This was…home made.
You continued to flick through the file, unable to stop despite the mounting sense of fear. There were details of your family, friends (or lack thereof). Photos of your apartment. Photos of you taken without your knowledge - one of you walking down the street, another of you letting yourself into your apartment.
You turned each page faster and faster, hoping to make sense of the horror movie you’d just walked into. Finally you got to the final page, your heart in your mouth as your trembling hands held the paper up to read and tried to make sense of the various sentences.
“SALE AGREED”
“DELIVERY TBA”
“BITCOIN PAYMENT CONFIRMATION”
You squeaked quietly, unable to stop the tears that blurred your vision.
And at the very bottom of the page…
….was Joe’s signature.
You didn’t think. You didn’t react. You couldn’t. You just clutched the file and began to run to the exit, your other hand shaking as you pulled your phone from your pocket to find Walsh’s number. For a split second you thought about calling Nick, but of course you’d deleted and blocked his number all those weeks ago.
Just as you got to the door, your eyes distracted as you focused on your phone screen, you collided with something.
No…someone.
You bounced off the figure and hit the floor, ass first. Your phone shot out of your hand and skidded under a nearby desk.
You looked up, only able to utter a single gasp as you looked into his eyes.
“Hey sweetheart” said Joe, a terrifying smirk spreading across his face. “Working hard, are we?”
Chapter 7a -Underestimate
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I just saw the Izuru Makoto you drew and I LOVE the way you draw him. Literally the autism creature
lol all the credit to @bardic-feline for painting a very clear image of Makozuru's facial expressions.
to directly quote them: like if Izuru classic has two modes (apathetiic, and homicidal while still being apathetic), Makozuru is more like…cat staring at you from under the furniture who bolts if you look at him directly
#bananacreamphi#danganronpa#naegi makoto#look bardic! everyone loves your makozuru!!!#he speaks to the people!!!!#fala replies#a e i o queue
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Reevesverse BatCat fic recs
Stray Bat, Blind as a Cat by MitchMatchedSocks -- Selina misses her Vengeance, but while she's still avoiding getting tangled up with the vigilante, the sullen, awkward, pitiful prince of Gotham will have to do.
Voir Moi by thedastardly -- Selina is back in town and there's nothing Batman likes more than looking at her.
Dark Night by apathetiic -- Everything in Gotham smelled damp since the seawall fell…She smelled clean and like warmed spice, he wanted this scent to seep into his clothes, hover over his skin, to coat his tongue, and ghost across the sheets of his bed.
sometimes by sepiacigarettes -- Sometimes, it's slow. Sometimes it's not even the full thing. And sometimes, it’s this: one hand planted between her shoulder blades and feeling the shift of her muscles, the other gripping her hipbone to hold her in place.
wrecked, ruined by sepiacigarettes -- The first kiss is slow. As slow and gentle as he can make it, like easing into a too-hot bath. She sighs happily into it, touches his face, hums a little. "You're not gonna let me sleep?"
already spoken for by sepiacigarettes -- “Who am I kidding? You're already spoken for.” She's so close. He's swaying into her space before he can help himself, drunk already without even tasting her. And, she's not wrong. He is spoken for, has been spoken for since before this horrific Riddler saga. But there's time.
with our eyes closed series by unseemingowl -- Though Selina has mostly succeeded in putting Gotham behind her, there is one part of the city she still wants to unravel. Not that he makes it easy for her.
when you look at me like that, my darling by funnefatale -- Three times Selina walks away and the one time she doesn't.
Impossible to Regret by sixteenpsyche -- Selina moves to Blüdhaven. The Batman doesn't stop watching her, and she doesn't stop wanting him.
The Gleam In Your Eyes Is So Familiar a Gleam by blue_fantasy -- Selina leaves town. But her hometown just pulls her right back. Along with a sneaking suspicion that she knows who the Bat might be.
I Came to Find Death, I Stayed For Life by Thesuncameout -- The gentle plucking of harps filled the room, and in a sea of black gowns and suits, a woman in a blood red dress sat on a stool not far from his.
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thank you4 posting the new page tonight depsite being sickk - hope you get better
i know this is probably spoiler terriotry but ii need 2 knwo bc i dumb - is toad actually care about tex or is he apatheti?c - he might but also like he wants t2 crumble and just cant express any family love
i like 2 think he might take care 0of tex in order 2 concinve tara that she shhould take him back lmao he a loser single bitch alwyas 4ever
thank u i hope so too im dyin out here
spoilers for the next few pages ig,
toad haaattess tex
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been thinking about 1031 recently as well just because i enjoy her as an oc but shes also one of those ocs i consider an untouchable because shes encased in the time i made her and her story that id feel really weird using her for anything else
her name isnt 1031 but rather thats the name of the story, but i call her 1031 for ease and because she lacks any name in-canon and isnt reffered to as anything besides that girl and her. the entire story is that a teenage seth wewason lost his sister aria to suicide a year prior, and now he himself is struggling with the same thoughts, but when he goes to the roof of his highschool he finds a stranger (1031) already there who cryptically talks to him over multiple days about his feelings and the contemplation of suicide
the jest of the story is about the state of suicide prevention in the united states and especially the care (or lack thereof) for suicidal children; seth is easily disregarded by his peers, and his school lacks the safety or care to keep him from continuously returning to the dangerous school roof
and 1031 herself is an ambivalent mystery; she easily parrots the dangerous ideas that children are taught about their emotions, that if something is wrong in your life you should simply look at what positives there are and think about those less fortunate than you, essentially the ''someone always has it worse'' argument. she uses other's feelings against him, telling him how his sister hurt him leaving him behind so to imagine how much he'll hurt others leaving as well, scaring him away on the first couple of days
but later, when seth starts really getting to the root of his own suffering and misery, 1031 turns the other way; she talks about how theyre often told to think of others instead of themselves when theyre miserable, yet so very few of those same people are willing to help in the hour of their need, that the root of the suffering is tossed away and instead their emotions are dictated by the loss it creates; the loss of a student, the loss of an employee, the loss of the person who does the laundry. the life of a child is dictated by their usefulness and what will happen when thats lost, and so the child's emotions are put on the backburner. Rarely does the system want to deal with the problem of suicidality, and simply worries about the loss it'll create not because a person's life is important, but because the loss of profit and blame that will be put on them
1031 herself is an enigma in her story as well as to what she is; she could entirely be Seth's imaginative conscious, that constricts when in the grip of suicidality and thus only sees the two options of suffering or die, or she herself could just be another child forgotten by the system due to her own suffering, or maybe an angel sent by god to either lure seth to the other side or push him back for as long as possible. or perhap she is just a creation of suicidal herself, the conflicting emotion of wanting to be saved from the suffering but unable to see anything beyond the options of dying or suffering. it's never explained and nothing is clarified about her existence, beyond the fact that she can seemingly ''jump'' and disappear before seth's eyes yet appear again the very next day unharmed.
the ending of the story itself is left up in the air, as ultimately i didnt want to end a story with the idea that something can ever change the greater problem that is being suicidal; talking to someone wont save seth permanently, having a religious revelation or ''successfully'' arguing with your own consciousness doesnt suddenly make you well again; seth and 1031's time together is just a brief few days in what could very well be a lifelong struggle for seth, and no one person has the answer to it all, not seth or 1031 and whatever she may be. the suffering of kids is an ongoing problem that has not been dealt with because it is part of the greater society we live in, of a death-fearing, disability-fearing, apathetic individualistic society that refuses children their right to their emotions, their pain, their lives. a child's sadness is seen as lesser or unimportant because of the idea that children do not deal with important things, and are not important people on society, so seth and 1031 are in a stalemate at two children simply trying to deal with the unending suffering they are going through with no help from others, the system, the adults they are told have all the answers, etc. seth and 1031 are ultimately just holding onto each other at the edge because the safety net refuses to be put up because a building's aesthetic value is higher than the life of a child, and theres no way to simply fix it in a day. so 1031 is always around on that rooftop waiting for the next person, and the next person, and she herself stays up there and waits, because nobody ever does for her what she does for others
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APATHETIBOY
etemology: apatheti(apathetic) + boy
definition: alike to genderapathetic, but specific to masculine-aligned individuals.
the stripes meanings are as follows
black: the apathy towards gender
white: being a semi-binary identity
blue: ties to masculinity and the male spectrum.
gray: being a semi-nonbinary identity.
#mogai coining#mogai safe#mogai#mogai blog#mogai community#purple rayn#periwinkle bubblehoard#xenogender#mogai friendly#lgbtq#holy shit hes back#with another genda#coining#xenogender friendly#xenogender safe#xenogender coining#gender coining#mogai gender#gender#apathetiboy
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M. Mundy: or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned How to Tolerate the Spy
read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43422670
by apathetiic
Sniper and Spy are both assigned to an espionage mission at a luxurious hotel rife with BLU activity. Antics ensue.
Words: 1660, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Team Fortress 2
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Sniper (Team Fortress 2), Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Relationships: Sniper/Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Additional Tags: Enemies to Lovers, Spy Does Espionage Work (Team Fortress 2), Sniper Does Espionage Work too, Canon Related, Role Reversal, Forced Bonding, Forced Cohabitation
read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/43422670
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hey, bee!! i just wanted too send you a quick message bc i feel like it's always good to read something that reminds us of how good we can make others feel. i read commentarius a few months ago and it took me out of a reallyy apatheti place i was since moving cities and switching majors. i had something to be giggly over again and i just ATE all of your works after that. so ty so much! you're doing more than you imagine. can't wait to read any originals. xo from brazil and srry for any mistakes!
Thank YOU!! As good as reading it made you feel, this message also made me feel. ❤️❤️❤️
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All the Perfumes of Arabia Will Not Sweeten These Hands
by apathetiic
In which Bruce Wayne is the Bat King, and Joker is his loyal Jester.
or
Bruce has a mental breakdown medieval edition
Words: 3300, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Bruce Wayne, Batman, "The Bat King", Joker, "The Jester"
Relationships: Batman/Joker
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Religious Guilt, Internalized Homophobia, Mild Sexual Content, Asphyxiation, Implied Catholocism
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/43871529
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apathetiics started following you
@apathetiics
“Seems like I attract spooky-hot goth chicks like moths to a flame,” he shrugged “-not complaining of course. What can I do for you?”
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@apathetiics wanted a starter ♥
❝Fitting in is kind of an OVERRATED thing and something I don’t try to do very often.❞
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“ everyone here always asks me if i give a SHIT. well the answer to that is, i don’t. i could care less about who’s popular or not, and how i fit in. cause, in the end, at school, those popular kids are so fake and phony. it drives me fuckin’ crazy. nobody’s ever real anymore. everyone’s just a copy of everyone else. uniqueness and individuality? that died the second this dump of a school was built. “
@apathetiics
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@apathetiics
“You must be the new ghoul, my name’s Jackson,” The Normie held out a hand to shake the other’s, “Headmistress Bloodgood asked me to show you around. What’s your name?”
#apathetiics#HERE COMES TREBLE {jackson starter}#//for that monster verse i remember you wanted ;3#//hehehe#//hope its ok
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@apathetiics continued
She felt a shiver running down her neck as the footsteps got closer, camera steadily against her shoulder as the brunette stepped out into the open. The hall empty and silent instantly upon making herself present.
"Darn it! Well, at least we know we're onto something."
Shrugging off the camera and placing it on top of the closest surface she could find Mabel walked over to Crimson holding her phone out.
"Well, this is the floor where everyone hears that moaning and window's breaking. Yet all we've heard all night's just footsteps and slamming doors. I'll call Dipstick and tell him he should get out of the boiler room to evaluate what he got and get ready for three am."
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@apathetiics | random muse generator !
❝ Get dressed, you’re my date for the pep rally tonight. ❞
#apathetiics#( interaction ; jason dean. )#( yo this is actually really late but i think this could be ANGSTY )#( verse 001 ; we can start and finish wars ; j.d. )#( queue ; no business like show business. )
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Ennui couldn’t help but stare up at the grey sky. He was also hoping that it rained also. Oh! Would they be lucky enough to get thunder? He hoped so. Though at the same time it woul dhave made it a good walk for when he returns her home. Till then they woudl have to look at the sky from his house. Now he started to wonder if his sister was home.
“What school do you have again?”
▕⟨ @apathetiics⟩▏┗ᶜᵒᶰᵗˑ┛
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