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crimeronan · 10 months

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i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

#thebibliosphere i apologize for tagging u when we don't know each other at all i just want u to get credit for the initial discussion #given that it is so much more thoughtful and clear than anything i'd think to write.#i did NOT mean to spend multiple hours on this but once i started writing i was like #oh god i actually do have like a lot i can tell monogamous people about writing poly people & the poly perspective #anyway. i mention it in the post but people can send me (respectful. obviously) asks if they have questions #i cant promise to answer all of them bc i am bad at this. but if i'm well enough then i'll try #polyamory #non-monogamy #ethical non-monogamy #writing #my writing #writing advice #relationships

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falmerbrook · 3 months

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Been feeling down and having artblock so I wanted to draw something colorful and silly to try to get out of it

So have some My Little Morrowind: Friendship Betrayal is Magic

(and Sheo-Discord for funsies)

#morrowind #tes #my art #ponified #ponification #do i dare tag anything else tes related???#sheogorath #i havent drawn ponies in a while so im kinda rusty #im bad with cutie marks so apologies #also i usually stray away from making skin color the coat color but the skin color is a pretty important part of these guy's recognizabilit #mine #i just think mw is ripe for crossovers with series where normal folks can become gods/dieties #so like celestia and luna are basically god-princesses in the same way the tribunal are god-kings (minus the dishonest way of achieving it)#and now that im thinking about it i shouldve made dagoth ur more like sombra #instead i made him more nightmare moon/changeling-y

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sneez · 5 days

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pathologic but it's a lost 1920s german expressionist film [id under cut]

[id:

image 1: a digital drawing of a fake poster, using bright colours and rough, painterly brushstrokes. the title, 'pest' (german for 'plague'), is written at the top in spiky black text. in the foreground a man dressed as a tragedian is staring intently at the viewer, his hands raised and splayed as if in horror. in the background, the town is framed against a red sky, with the polyhedron in yellow behind.

images 2 and 3: fake casting sheets for the film, with the names of the actors and the characters they are playing above a black-and-white portrait photograph of them. all the text is in german. in english it reads: 'Pest', a film by Robert Wiene Alfred Abel as Victor Kain Ernst Busch as Grief Lil Dagover as Katerina Saburova Ernst Deutsch as the Bachelor Carl de Vogt as Vlad the Younger Marlene Dietrich as the Inquisitor Willy Fritsch as Mark Immortell Alexander Granach as Andrey and Peter Stamatin Bernhard Goetzke as General Block Dolly Haas as the Changeling Ludwig Hartau as the Haruspex Brigitte Helm as Anna Angel Brigitte Horney as Maria Kaina Emil Jannings as Big Vlad Gerda Maurus as Yulia Lyuricheva Lothar Menhert as Georgiy Kain Asta Nielsen as Lara Ravel Ossi Oswalda as Eva Yan Fritz Rasp as Stanislas Rubin Conrad Veidt as Alexander Saburov and Tragedian Paul Wegener as Oyun Gertrud Welcker as Aspity

image 4: four digital sketches of set designs for various locations. all are strongly influenced by expressionist imagery, using extreme angles, warped perspective, and dramatic shapes. they are labelled 'street 1' (a street lined with houses), 'street 2' (a square with a lamppost and a set of steps), 'polyhedron exterior' (the polyhedron walkway), and 'cathedral interior' (the dais at the far end of the cathedral).

image 5: four digital drawings in a black-and-white watercolour style, showing fake stills from the film. all are similarly distorted and lit by dramatic lighting. the first shows katerina's bedroom, with katerina standing in the centre of the floor. the second shows the interior of an infected house. the third shows daniil staring out of the frame in horror, one hand on his head and the other raised as if to ward something off. the fourth shows an intertitle with jagged white text reading 'the first day' against a dark background.

end id.]

#pathologic #artwork #conrad veidt #(i know there are many other actors but i dont have tags for them my bad)#anyway :D this has been my brain project for the past week or so i have been thinking about it so much #i have so many more things i want to draw for it but i am trying to hold myself back. for the sake of my Wrists #also obviously the cast list is way whiter than it should be for pathologic but german expressionist cinema was not particularly diverse an #i was trying to go for realism so apologies for that #i had so much fun with these i dont normally draw locations because i prefer drawing people but i found it so much more enjoyable #when i could mess around with the perspective and make stuff look wacky. thank you expressionism i love you expressionism #also it goes without saying that i was most heavily inspired by the cabinet of dr caligari (which is why i went with robert wiene. he would #do such a great job i think)#i hope you are all well my friends :D kiss you

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volatilemask · 1 year

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ULTRACATS ALL CATS

#id in alt #blood #ultrakill #ultracats #v1 #v2 #mirage ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #minos prime #swordsmachine #mindflayer #filth ultrakill #malicious face #yeah ill tag maurice.#vm's art #all the other enemies i dont feel like tagging. sorry #i dont think anybody is searching up “schism ultrakill” on tumblr to be fair....apologies in advance to schism fans if ur out there. my bad #u guys get to have meowrice mthursday early ill post on twit later

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try-set-me-on-fire · 5 months

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I bet on losing dogs

I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place

By the ring

Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down

I'll be there on their side

I'm losing by their side

#my art #sorry sorry my apologies I’m sorry #god do I actually tag this or just toss it to the wilderness #destiel #still has some juice it just has some juice I must say!#I started season six today in my yearly #complete lapse in judgment supernatural rewatch #that’s just going to be a thing every November now I guess #and season 6 has been truly dreadful so far #but there was a scene where cas came to visit Dean and he casually refilled Deans glass of whiskey while they were talking #so how bad can it be actually

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i-make-fun-of-spn-characters · 1 year

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Take my "How much of an eeeevil hardcore stan are you" uquiz

According to MEEEEEEEEE

#PSA: on this blog a hardcore stan is someone who simps for a char so hard #that they blame other characters for the bad things their fave did or hate everyone else like pretty intensely and probably in a somewhat.#warped way.#For those who don't know how I use the term #this has been my joke since forever in my don't feed the stans after midnight tag but some may be unaware <3 #just loving a character or saying they did nothing wrong should not get you a result about hating the others.#idk how sensitive the poll results are either tho since it's basically like a pass/fail tho so *shrug*#i think this is an issue also for samcas (platonic or romantic) which is SUPPOSED to be an option but apparently they are getting served #accusations of being cas haterz my apologies 😔#poll #don't feed the stans after midnight

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loupy-mongoose · 4 months

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Warning: Contains potentially heavy and uncomfortable subject matter.

PREVIOUS NEXT (DEATH WARNING)

ARC START | CHRONO

~~~~~~

Lavender crashed out through the floorboards and outermost wall of the mansion, following after the larger Mewtwo. Blinking against the sudden brightness of the full sunlight, she spotted him lying stunned in the mansion's overgrown backyard. He hastily shuffled onto his hands and knees.

Suddenly, Lavender's ears rotated back, catching creaks and crashing. Her eyes widened, and she spun around in horror; the mansion was collapsing.

MOM, DAD!

Before she could rush in, however, the two Mews appeared in a zap of light.

Seeing with a sigh of relief that they had escaped the mansion's collapse, she turned back to her target.

Nico was hovering now, giving a sad look to the three Lindens. He met Lavender's furious eyes, and returned with a look of sorrow and regret--a look that caused a sudden twinge in Lav's mind.

Then, he turned and dashed off.

Lavender's blood boiled

You're gonna hurt my dad and run??

She sped after him.

All the while, she ignored a tiny nagging feeling in the back of her mind as hot tears streamed from eyes...

~~~~~

Without warning, Randy transformed into his human form.

He laid in the yard, trembling, wide-eyed and gasping. Akoya nuzzled up into his neck, speaking gently to him and purring.

At first he didn't seem to notice her. But gradually, his breathing steadied, and he lifted a shuddering hand to seek out Akoya's warm pelt.

For a bit, they laid together as Randy slowly managed to calm down.

I don't want him to come back, Akoya...

She looked at him, her purr faltering.

Is that selfish of me?

Akoya laid her cheek on his.

...If it's selfish of you, it's selfish of me...

Randy went on as if he didn't hear her.

C-can he even come back?

...Was he ever gone...?

The blue Mew flicked her tail, uncertain what to think or do. M...Maybe we should try to get back to Fuji...

Randy placed his hands on his head and shook his head desperately. I can't transform... I can't risk losing Randy...

Akoya licked his cheek in understanding. Her ears went back as an unpleasant idea struck. I can try to teleport us there myself... O-Or to a closer Pokemon Center... It would be hard, but... I think I could do it...

Randy didn't respond immediately.

...

Where's Lav?

~~~~~~

Nicodemus flew over the ocean north of Cinnabar, keeping close to the island. His cloak flapped behind him.

As she rushed to catch up to Nico, Lavender readied another swirling sphere of energy. The gap between them closed, and he glanced back at her just as she launched the spere.

He braced for the impact, wobbling slightly in his flight with a grunt before steadying.

Gritting her teeth, she psychically "grabbed" a portion of the ocean in front of the fleeing 'two and launched it upward. Nico swerved just in time to avoid it, careening toward Cinnabar's shoreline.

Lav roared and launched another sphere at him, this one smaller and slightly looser as her anger grew, hijacking her control.

This time the force caught him off guard, sending him rolling and finally sprawling onto the island's shore. Groaning and gasping, he propped himself up on his arms.

Lavender halted and held her position over the ocean water, her teeth bared and face streaked with tears. Her breath was sharp and ragged, and her eyes wild.

Why aren't you fighting back?!

Nico looked up at her, meeting her eyes. His own still showed no signs of anger, but a deep despair.

You want me to?

Lav glared down at him. Her gaze turned downward as she prepped a Shadow Ball.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

She launched it down into her own reflection.

Then, she hovered there, motionless. She was wracked with gasping sobs. Her attack bubbled back, splashing her with ocean water, but she didn't notice.

Suddenly, a voice spoke in her mind.

Lavender

She snapped to attention.

A hasty explanation was mentally run by her as she attempted to control her breathing and emotions.

She met Nico's eyes, now realizing what the nagging feeling had been...

Guilt and shame flooded through her. Fresh tears stung her eyes, and she sobbed again.

...I'm sorry, Nico... It wasn't your fault...

Then, she flew off.

It was mine...

~~~~~~

Lavender arrived to find her dad lying in the grass in human form. She felt her blood freeze, but had to remind herself that she could still feel him, and he was breathing. He was still with them.

At least...

She hoped it was him...

Dad...?

He looked up at her as she came into his field of view. He looked exhausted, his eyes shadowed by the feelings he silently grappled with. She was happy to see relief in them, but her heart broke all over again at the agony he seemed desperate to conceal.

His voice was hoarse and shaky. Lav, a-are you okay?

Lav struggled to control her own voice. I-I'm fine, Dad... H-he didn't... a-attack me at all...

She kept part of her thought to herself.

I wish he would have...

She took a sudden sharp breath, trying to distract herself. There were higher priorities now. S-so what are we doing? Dad can't transform, so how do we get back? It's half the region away, or more!

Akoya had a serious look on her face. I'll get us there. I have to. Whatever it takes.

She closed her eyes and sighed. It was clear she wasn't certain about her ability to get them from here all the way to Lavender Town...

She began focusing. Alright, brace yourselves... Unlike the instantaneous teleportations they'd done in the past, Lav could feel her mother attempting to build up the power to accomplish this mission.

Maybe I can somehow share my power...

Feeling desperate to help, she began to focus her own energy toward the blue Mew. Akoya jolted very slightly, the only hint that she felt any change.

Then, after a moment...

They were gone...

~~~~~~

PREVIOUS NEXT (DEATH WARNING)

ARC START | CHRONO

I'm sorry.

This should've been a comic. This part deserves to be to be a comic, and someday I would like to come back and draw it. But right now, I just can't bring myself to, and I didn't want to let that stop progress.

I don't want to disappoint people, but... I dunno. I still have a slim hope of hitting my goal, and I don't want to get hung up and ruin that chance. I want to move on...

Anyway, I hope the read was enjoyable enough. And on the bright side, I've started work on the next part, so there's that at least! :)

#Linden Roots #writing #BLH #By Lavender's Hand #The following tags will only make sense if you read my blurb at the end lol #I know I shouldn't apologize.#But I feel particularly bad about it this time.#full

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