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warmaidensrevenge · 1 year

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Eddie Munson x Fem!plus size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: ok this is pure self indulgence. And I just returned to work from vacation and this story kinda took me. So I hope you like it. Thanks for reading and as always feedback is greatly appreciated. Kay love ya byyyyyeeee.

Warnings: language, drinking, inappropriate behavior towards a female, smoking, a touch of violence and not proof read and no word count

Summary: Eddie gets a job and finds a coworker extremely attractive.

November 1988

It was his first day working on his own. Eddie had finished his two week training on the Extruder at the plant. He was happy to find out at the start of his shift that a few of his uncle's buddies were going to be working with him too.

The first hour went by with nothing big happening. Some finished products had just come off the line and Eddie was banding it with green plastic straps. That's when he saw a blue light flash by him and he looked up and saw a forklift driver waiting for him to finish so that they could take the load.

When he looked at her, he really couldn't see her all that well. She was wearing ear muffs and a mask covering her mouth and nose. He really couldn't make out if she was actually a girl. It was winter time and she was bundled up pretty good. Though Eddie was hot as hell. She must have been freezing her ass off driving around like that. But how he was sure you were a female is when you got off your lift and went to talk to someone across the way. He saw your large hips swaying and your full chest being hugged by your winter vest.

You were a larger girl but he swore he had never seen a girl of your stature move as gracefully as you did. He figured he would stop starting so that you wouldn't think he was a creep. So he finished the task at hand and went back to the machine. He heard a honk and turned to your lift. You didn't look at him you just picked up the load and left.

You did that for the entire shift. And only once did you look at him. He couldn't be certain if you smiled at him because of the mask. But by how your eyes squinted and your eyebrows wriggled he definitely thought you smiled at him. He had asked the guys what your name was but they kept calling you the wicked witch/bitch. Which took him back.

He didn't get much information from the guys so he opted to ask his uncle. At lunch he went to sit with Wayne and asked about you. But before he could answer you walked in with your wallet and went to buy a cup of coffee. Once you got it you left.

" Okay so?"

Wayne took a bite out of his sandwich. " That's y/n. She's the one who sends us pies for Thanksgiving and cookies for Christmas."

" oh shit that's her. Man I love her apple pie."

" Yeah. I like her molasses cookies the most. She's a sweet girl."

" Then why do guys call her the wicked witch?"

Wayne shook his head. "You know how I look like I'm not happy all the time?"

"Yeah."

" Well that's how she looks. But people don't see her smile because she wears that mask."

" why does she wear that?"

" Because where her main job is, it gets really dirty and dusty and it makes it hard to breathe."

" That doesn't sound safe."

" That's why she wears the mask. Wait when she leaves, you'll see how dirty she gets."

Eddie nodded and finished his lunch. The last hour of the 8 hour shift he didn't see you. But for some reason he wanted to. He wanted to talk to you. But then all of a sudden he saw you walking to a machine and used the air hose to blow off all the dust that was covering your pants and shirt. You had taken off your ear muffs. That's when he noticed you had a bandana on and a helix piercing. You had a couple of tattoos on your forearm and were wearing a Van Halen tee.

You were already checking off boxes in Eddie's list of the perfect girl. He watched as you finished blowing yourself off and left. The next four hours dragged on for him. The person who was your relief really sucked at their job. They let shit pile up before slowly taking the product away.

When Eddie went on his final break he walked through the tender shop and saw you working on a machine. He had to do a double take to see if it was actually you. He had thought you left already. He saw you leaning into a machine fixing something.

His break was over quickly. The entire time he kept wondering about you. Seeing you with tools in your hand did something to him. Another check mark. A girl who isn't afraid to get dirty.

When he walked out of the break room he ran right into you. You guys exchanged sorrys and did that awkward dance trying to let the other pass. Your laugh filled his heart and sent butterflies flutter in his stomach. Then you put both hands on his biceps and moved him to the side. He felt a heat rise from his chest to his neck when you did that. He tried to give you a smile, but all he could manage a half one. You laughed again and walked into the break room.

...

Eddie thought about you all night. And was actually looking forward to seeing you the next day. His uncle told him your department doesn't have overtime so you pick up some poor guys OT when you could. Even if that meant a pay decrease. So you were a hard worker. And you could cook.

Check and check.

The rest of the next month he didn't see you much. He found out that your department was on a rotating shift. So you had to work all three shifts throughout the month. He actually looked forward to seeing you now. Whether it was just a few minutes or just a glance.

He wanted so badly to talk to you. Hear that pretty laugh of yours again. But he never got the chance too. That was until the company Christmas party. The only reason Eddie even went was because he heard you go every year. So while in the dance hall in a lodge he and his uncle headed to the open bar and got 2 beers and grabbed some food. Normally Eddie would sit at home and eat a microwave dinner and watch whatever Christmas movie was on. But tonight was really fun. All the games and conversations were something he wasn't quite used to. He kept an eye out on the door waiting to see you come in. He was finally gonna see you without all your gear and he knew you would be just as pretty as your laugh.

But you didn't come. He was very disappointed and decided to go out and have a cigarette. The moment he stepped outside he saw someone sitting on a bench just off to the side. All he could really make out was her long hair in a beanie and that she was smoking.

He slowly walked towards the bench and saw you. You were looking at the lights just across the little tree brush. Your full lip wrapped around your cigarette. Slowly blowing the smoke out and humming a Christmas carol.

Eddie stepped on some snow causing a crunching sound that made you turn to him. You gave his this beautiful smile and his heart skipped a beat.

" Hi."

"H-Hey." He said nervously.

"Eddie right?"

" Y-yeah."

You looked away and smiled softly.

" You're umm y/n right?"

" Uh huh." You said taking a last toke of your cigarette and tossing the butt.

Eddie had forgotten why he went outside in the first place.

" How are things in there?" You asked while getting up.

" Umm okay. They should be passing out presents soon."

" Oh. Okay." You said walking past him.

The smell of your perfume invaded his nostrils. You smelled so sweet. He stood there frozen. He was cursing himself for being so damn shy.

"You coming?"

Eddie turned and saw that beautiful smile again.

" Uhh yeah." He said following you back in.

You went to a table that he and his uncle were at. You took off your beanie and your peacoat. Revealing a long sleeve black velvet dress that fitted you perfectly. The sight of you could have brought Eddie to his knees. Just as he thought.

Fucking gorgeous!

You noticed him gawking at you and you just grinned sitting down. He quickly took the seat next to you and smirked. He offered to get you a drink needing one himself. He grabbed another beer and a coke for you. He thought it was strange that you didn't want to drink at a party but he shrugged it off.

You guys hit it off pretty well. The moment you said that you liked his Dio vest he knew he liked you. The fact that you knew who Dio was had him swooning.

You crossed your legs and your dress rode up a bit. He caught a glimpse of your knee tattoo before you pulled your dress down. His mind went berserk. He knew how much a knee tattoo hurt and he was in fucking aww. He had to adjust himself because his growing erection was starting to push against his zipper, making his pants tight.

Looks good dressed up too.

Check.

As the night went on some guys got a bit rody. You had gotten up to get some desserts when a guy from the maintenance department stumbled toward you. By your body language you didn't like what he was saying to you. You took a few steps back but he kept inching toward you. Eddie stood up to go to your rescue but Wayne grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

" Sit down son. Just watch. She can handle herself."

Eddie was confused as fuck. You needed help.

He looked back at you and saw you actually take a step closer to the guy and then put your hand on his shoulder. With one quick movement you kneed him right in the balls. You took a step back as he keeled over. You lifted his chin and Eddie heard him call you a cunt. Eddie's mouth dropped when you laid that guy the fuck out.

CHECK, CHECK. MOTHER FUCKIN' CHECK!

You came back to the table shaking your hand and sat down next to him.

" Cookie?" You offered up a plate.

He laughed taking one. " You're bad ass you know that?"

You shrugged and laughed too.

You shared your cookies with him and his uncle.

" so umm" you leaned in so that only he could hear you. " Want to get out of here?"

" Uhh y-yeah. Sure."

You smiled and stood up. He got up too and helped you with your coat. He turned to Wayne.

" Hey. You think you can get home alright?"

" Don't worry about me boy. Go have fun. Be safe."

Eddie nodded and turned back to you.

" Ready?"

He grinned. " Been ready babe."

You shook your head and he followed you out.

...

Eddie's groans filled the warm air of your living room.

" Fuck!" He groaned as you giggled.

" You're really bad at this." You teased.

" Well seems like you had more practice than me." He chuckled.

" Just a little." You said with a smile.

You move to get a bit more to get comfortable. Eddie watch you get really into it. But when it was his turn he cursed.

He threw the controller down and sunk into the couch when his character died once again.

You snickered going for the last cherry on the screen.

When the next level started you paused the game.

" You know when you said let's get out of here, this is not what I thought you had in mind."

You laughed again turning your body toward him.

" Oh? And what about Mrs pac man doesn't get you going?" You teased.

He chuckled" Yeah. I thought maybe....I don't know."

" you thought we'd have sex."

" Well umm yeah. But don't get me wrong. This was totally fun too."

" Huh. Well you kinda have to take me out a few times before we get to all that."

Eddie tugged at his bottom lip. You wanted to go out on a date? With him?

" Or not. It's totally up to you. But I gotta say. I'm not like that."

" No. No. I umm I just didn't know that you were into me. That's all."

" Well take me out and you'll find out how much." You gave him a sweet seductive smile.

He chuckled. " You're something else you know that?"

Your smile faded. " I hope that's not a bad thing."

" No. It's mostly definitely not. You're cute. And I would like to take you out."

He saw you blush then picked up the controller again. He grabbed the other one too.

He had to admit that this was the best Christmas he had ever had. And he looked forward to spending more nights like this with you.

...

@salenorona23

#fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie x reader #eddie my beloved #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #plus size reader #eddie x plus size reader #eddie x you

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autogynocrat · 1 year

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There is no ethical consumption under capitalism. I always find it funny when people will boycott a single company for an issue then buy nestle and apple products which used child slavery.

there is a thing as harm reduction though

boycotts done right can socially pressure a company to stop doing a bad thing if enough people get on board with it

theres also necessities vs luxuries. everyone needs clothes but nobody needs a flimsy polyester that will turn into microplastics in 3 washes, but also if you cant afford anything else you shouldnt flaggellate yourself for not being able to choose a lessbad option. unfortunately you need a phone to participate in society nowadays, and there are no cruelty free phone manufacturers. in fact theres not even a "lessbad" option because all of them are made in the same exploitative factories. nestle is kinda tricky because theyre a monopoly so sometimes its hard to see the full reach of all the products they own but in the case of like chocolate or coffee its pretty easy to not buy chocolate, you dont need chocolate to survive. and nestle's coffees suck ass anyways. therres other options there.

sorry if this doesnt make sense im a little sleepy

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seeminglyseph · 8 months

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My head hurts and I feel gross as shit and I have decided to buy new cheap ass conditioner for my dolls because I need a new scent to put into my life rotation. I have a big new jug of shampoo that supposedly smells like green apples (questionable) and I think it’s time to move on from Herbal Essence’s Moroccan Oil. Maybe some like citrus thing. It matters very little which one it is, just what it smells like.

That’s really true of most drugstore hair care, honestly. It all has most of the same ingredients and almost all sucks. If you’re using drugstore hair care products and think you are the problem, you’re not. No one taught a lot of us how to take care of our hair. Or ourselves honestly. And capitalism replaced self care with product. But they don’t make good products, they make products that make people buy more products. So sometimes shampoo and conditioner just damage hair and make you need to use more hair products.

And sometimes, like 3-in-1 shampoo-conditioner-and-body-wash it’s about “be tolerable in the presence of others” and literally nothing else. You are clean and don’t smell bad. This is a success for many of us. Some people struggle a lot to maintain a hygiene routine and just need to get… functionally clean enough. That is what 3-in-1 is for. Stop insulting 3-in-1. It is necessary for the continued existence of so many people just getting by. It also probably has the same ingredients as like half the other shampoo in the shampoo aisle.

But I need a new smell. My sensory input is made of anger. Idk.

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years

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screw sponsored content, I'm doing anti-sponsored content. just gonna talk about brands that SUCK

#apple. apple sucks ass. stop buying apple products #big box stores. big box stores are fucking terrible #food lion. food lion is a shitty employer. shop at aldi's if you can #amazon needs to burn yesterday #...not THE amazon I AM NOT ADVOCATING FOR BURNING DOWN RAINFORESTS #but yeah slap jeff bozo with an anti-monopoly lawsuit yesterday thnx #(but also you're not a bad person if you're unable to avoid shopping at certain places.#shop responsibly when you can but don't blame yourself for having so few options #the lack of options was built systematically by corporate greed and it's not your fault or your job to fix it all #just do what you can when you can. make better choices when they are available but accept that better choices might not always be available)

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tagfer · 2 years

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ive been following u for idk how long and i DONT want to come off as a weirdo hate anon (feel free to delete this immediately) but man……. yes it sucks what theyre doing and you have the right to complain and bully strawmen but ultimately it’s the company’s fault and the problem lies in only two companies controlling the phone/tech market so you only have two choices. it shouldnt be apple vs android and thats it. its not the fault of some random ppl owning an apple product. even if a hundred or a thousand people stop using apple products in protest theres still gonna be demand for it and they wont go ‘oh shit we gotta stop making phones.’ higher class ppl w iphones can SUCK it though i agree im only spiteful towards their asses

oh, no, you're right. due to capitalistic situation these days the average consumer may share a small bit of the burden, and assumingly unknowingly so, of the hell created but the majority of the fault does lay with the corporation itself.

but like. would you say this about chick fil a? due to an unshakable base (snobs and rich fucks for apple, christians and right wingers for cfa).... is it truly an infrequent visitor's fault chick fil a has money to help make being gay a crime punishable by death in the third world? not entirely, but the contribution mustn't be discounted. If only the core demos ate there, it wouldn't be a worldwide chain. but it is.

it's a tangled up, multifaceted situation that's not as easy to solve as saying "apple users of the world unite, cast aside your $399.99 iChains!" but if it was only small groups of people with them iChains we wouldn't be in this situation.

So I absolutely disagree with your premise - "random people who just happen to buy apple products" are in fact the reason Apple has vast fortunes and social power in the first place. And they use that money and power to do the things they do. it didn't just come out of nowhere. Enough "random people" own apple products that Apple can do literally Whatever They Want. And they do. I could go on and on about the ways they've fucked over the tech industry, enabled by the fact enough everyday people still buy their shit, but I'll spare everyone that post.

of course i absolutely am not bootlicking Android either. It's the better of the two. Still horrible. The fact there's no viable third parties is a chokehold on tech.

#umm I'm too old to know how to use tone indicators but no hard feelings anon! i am making u a nice oolong tea and sharing cookies

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nanshe-of-nina · 6 years

Conversation

People of the Caroline phase of the Hundred Years War as dril tweets

Edward III of England: im a marine & accomplished scholar. my sons were alchemized into helicopter fuel to serve their armed brothers. how dare u post penis to me.

Charles V de France: the Digimon Otis peace treaty will hence be frozen in piss and thrown onto the freeway where itll shatter into one million despicable pieces

Richard II of England: i rise; spreading my arms, exuding fluorescent spheres of energy, each representing an Unfollower, Cuasing me a great deal of pain,Screaming

Charles VI de France: how to convince my uncles to combine into one superuncle so that i only have to buy one christmas card? how to do it? how to ddo this? how

Edward the Black Prince: #worstfeeling dying of dehydration caused by diarrhea in a third world nation ravaged by warfare with no doctors #bestfeeling halo 4 odst

Joan of Kent: my big sons have made a mess of the garage again after being riled up by the good word of the Lord.

Lionel of Antwerp, 1st Duke of Clarence: someone please. ive bitten into a nasty apple and I don’t know how to spit things out of my mouth. ivr never spit before and i need help.

Louis Iᵉʳ, duc d’Anjou: me and the boys pooled together our total life savings of $1789.34 in a last ditch effort to rescue the failing quiznos brand from the brink

Marie de Blois: never brought this up due to Trolls, but my son is set to graduate from ITT tech next semester after 8 years of hard work and im very proud.

John of Gaunt, 1st Duke of Lancaster: im not cut out to be a content producer!! fuck thtis!! i want to go back to just looking at everyone else’s content and nodding if its good

Constanza de Castilla: abusing my vile neighbors by putting leaflets around which state that i am now to be referred to as “Daddy’s Golden Goose”.

Jehan, duc de Berry: ACCOUNTANT: I Just don’t know how you can justify donating $700 to “Chips Ahoy” ME: i hope your car flips & becomes your fucking firey grave

Edmund of Langley, 1st Duke of York: damn it to piss. my wife replaced all of my anti-wife reading materials with Pro-Wife bullshit

Isabel de Castilla: I Just Want 2 Have Sex On This Site All The Time With Out Havin To Argue With Peopl And Deal With People Cryin And Shit #WiseWordsToLiveBy

Philippe II, duc de Bourgogne: the first step to becoming a Millionaire is to acquire one hundred dollars

Thomas of Woodstock, 1st Duke of Gloucester: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self

Henry Bolingbroke: DAD: your baby brothers missing, please put down the controller. help us find him ME: Did u read the news. Gaming is a legitinmate hobby now

Louis, duc d’Orléans: my uncle called me a Loser on television way before this guy’;s uncle did it @cnn @reuters @infowars @gameinformer

Edward of Norwich, 2nd Duke of York: my cousin was charged with arson(Bullshit) , and i was thinking we could all help out by drawing up some memes to display in his prison cell.

Pope Innocent VI: i am above choosing sides here. i hope they either become friends & cancel the match, or beat each other completely to death simultaneously ....

Isabelle de Valois, duchesse de Bourbon: my son has been combing his hair without permission. how do i cope with the pain.

John Chandos: i truly hate winning the infamous “Darwin Award” by getting bombarded with artillery fire in the Super K-Mart parking lot

Bertrand du Guesclin: PEOPLE MAG: which pop culture icon are u going to Slaughter next... ME: I have set my sights on “The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B.”

William of Wykeham: im sorry but, when you people reply to my posts with things like “Fuck you” and “Fuck your Account” it makes me look like a real dumb ass.

Robert Knolles: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn

Jehan III de Grailly: JUDGE: i'll commute 10 yrs from ur sentence if you kiss my gavel ME: no. i will do the time i deserve and thats the truth and also nuff said

Arnaud de Cervole: i spend lots of time thinking about how many of my depraved, miserable followers would murder me if they could get away with it #SocialMedia.

Owen Lawgoch: oh nothin, i was just buying some ear medication for my sick uncle... *LOWERS SHADES TO LOOK YOU DEAD IN THE EYE* who's a Model by the way,

Seguin de Badefol: id like to report a hacker. he offered me 1000000 to show my dick and didnt cough up the dough when i delivered the goods. i got hacked

Louis II, comte de Flandre: I will be your Father. I will take you as my Son and teach you the ways of online. We will hold hands as our follower count reaches infinity.

Gaston III, comte de Foix: my disrespectful teen son somehow got hold of a gluten product and now he wants to become a cat girl

Charles II de Navarre: everyone on this site thinks they’re hard core but i bet if they took poison to weaken their bodies i would win fights against them handily

Jehan II, comte d’Armagnac: as a small business owner i think its bulshit that i have to give 30% of my income to Spain just because obama lost a swordfight to some Fag.

Jehan Froissart: im rwriting a script about a smart and handsome army man cop who murders civilians but wants to stop murdering civilians because hes in love.

Arnaud Amanieu, seigneur d’Albret: im good old southern boy and we dont cotton to bollocks .

John Minsterworth: its me again, from the website. admit that the berenstain bears are for adults or i will strategically headbutt your father to death.

Jehan IV, duc de Bretagne: my trolls & detractors all have gross mental issues. they love drama and are all jealous of my precious army man blood #truth #SorryNotSorry.

Peter de la Mare: come. I SHall lead the charge against corrupt Game developers, (Falls face forward ansd a variety of ass medicines spill out of my clothing).

Enrique de Trastámara: i am only here to field questions regarding my presidential bid. i will not discuss my ongoing project, tentatively titled “Aids Mario.”

Pedro I de Castilla: have you ever wanted to click X on a bastard

Tiphaine Raguenel: THE SUN THE MOON AND THE STARS ARE ALL TOO SMUG FOR MY LIKING

Olivier V de Clisson: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you “Blocked”

Louis II, duc de Bourbon: may god help you if you trip your feet against my handsome bulk while i am sitting on the floor looking at Depression things on my tablet pc.

Jehan de Vienne: for every year that He is not featured in Forbes Magazine as the worlds richest man... GOD will sink one of our battle ships

Louis de Sancerre: i dress as a medieval knight and pummel my metal body with cymbals to get all 59 of my pit dogs riled up before i fling lawn chairs at them

John Hastings, 2nd Earl of Pembroke: my favorite feature of this site is absolutely no consequences for my opinions sucking ffucking ass and me being 100% wrong about everything

Pierre de Craon: the facts are thuis: i accidentally did benghazi while trying to steal nfl broadcasts and im sorry about it. this is a stressful year for me.

Alice Perrers: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

Ambrosio Boccanegra: somebody please Bribe me

#hundred years' war #medieval #dril #middle ages #english history #french history #european history #history

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spanglishranting · 3 years

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I know the kind of ipad i want seems a bit expensive, but those who know me pretty well, know that i dont really ask for anything and try to get things on my own. Ive been trying to find it at a less expensive price, but there's only very little few places where they do sell it.

The only places i could buy them is on Amazon and Ebay, since Apple doesn't really send their products to Puerto Rico (which most of us agree that it sucks ass).

There's a lot of reasons to why i want to get an ipad to draw and work on..

1. In moments where i want to draw and suddenly the power goes out, i have a backup for it and i can stop worrying about the blackouts damaging my pc and tablet

2. I cant really afford to buy physical art products due to not being economically well.. plus not having a place to leave the stuff either

3. While im not having complications with my Wacom Cintiq, i really cant take it anywhere along with my pc.. so having it with me anywhere in case i have an idea to draw, i can do it. Its light, portable and i can use it with no problem

Im not an apple fanatic, but i heard no negative things about the ipads, so i wanna give them a chance, there's a lot of things that catch my attention.

The tablet i want to get is the ipad pro 2020 12.9 (I think that's the one with the magnet charger?) While im not using it, i turn it off ofc. Not like my phone that i leave on everyday jjsks.

The tablet is the main goal.. If i could get my hands on the tablet alone, i can buy the rest of the things with more ease.. screen protector, pencil, tablet cover, apple pencil case, etc.

#ranting...#i need an ipad

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milkymilk101 · 7 years

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Wanna One as Construction Workers

* Idek I was thinking about Sungwoon and this came up. I thought about everything in my head while my mother and I were going to Rite-Aid. Idk I hope you like it?

Disclaimer: Might be horrible

Jisung

The boss

Gathering everyone in a group hug first thing in the morning

Probably plays slow chill music in the morning when everyone is starting off their daily duties (IDK OKAY)

Constantly trying to make sure everything is done before the deadline

Doesn’t understand why he was stuck with the crew he’s with

Literally has to keep an eye on everyone

Buys them food after a long and hard day of work

“Jisung this is why you are the Boss” - Daniel while stuffing kimbap in his mouth

Always the last one to leave to make sure all his crew is alright :’)

“Guanlin you can’t stand in the middle of the construction zone”

Kinda wants to do the work himself because the others play around too much

Shouldn’t but picks up the slack

When he isn’t yelling and nagging at the others he’s known to do this thing where he just sits there staring off to space

“Maybe he’s wondering where we hid his trailer keys?” -Ongniel :’)

Eats his lunch alone so he can look after the rest of the crew from afar

His mom brings his lunch and he loves it.

Home cooked meals for lunch break

Also another reason why he eats alone

Continiously saying

“Where the hell is Daehwi and Jinyoung?!”

Daniel

Does his work well

Only when Ong isn’t partnered up with him or when Ong comes around

“Daniel and Ong can you both stop trying to glue Jaehwan’s tools to the wood panel” -Jisung

The one that takes off his work attire to reveal himself in a white wife beater

“It’s too hot” -Daniel

“HOT DAMN!” -Ong in the distant

Daniel brings the girls to the construction zone~

“Please stay away from the construction zone. It is dangerous you civilians” - Minhyun with a megaphone

Packs himself sandwiches and ramen

Ends up tracking in cats

They’ve adopted Daniel as their Kitty Leader (LOL KITTY PUN)

Feeds them

After the first couple of times he ended up bringing cat food and treats with him to work

“What does this taste like?”

Looks forward to lunch break because KITTY TIME~

“Maybe if I figure a way to control these cats to do my work then-”

“DANIEL STOP PLAYING WITH THOSE DARN CATS. I DON’T PAY YOU TO DO THAT”

“IS THAT A CHALLENGE”

Ends up apologizing saying it was a joke but everyone knows it isn’t

Jihoon

Kinda does what he’s suppose to do?

No one believes he gets anything done

“Are you sure you work here” -Ong

Woojin and him has this thing that when they pass each other while working they look at each

Drop their equipment

Wrestle to see who flips the other one onto the ground first

Loser has to do a dare

“Go to Jisung and ask him if he dropped his pockets. If he says ‘where?’ throw these at him”

*Shoves a bag full of un-sewn pockets @ Woojin*

“Why the hell do you have this?”

The girls that walk by always call out to him

Shy af but tries very hard not to be (you’re doing great bby)

They probably bring him lunch tbh

“WOOJIN PICK UP THESE FUCKEN UN-SEWN POCKETS”

“IT WAS JIHOON’S IDEA”

“I’M CUTTING BOTH YOUR PAY”

Ong Seongwoo

FUCKS AROUND

But surprisingly gets the stuff he needs done

“Wow I can’t believe you got this part done”

“I know not everyone can be as amazing as me”

*Flips the long hair he doesn’t have*

Shamelessly flirts with all the girls that walks by the fence of the construction zone

Takes lunch from them

Well they offer it to him

He loves it b/c free food

They don’t mind because Ong is super handsome and sweet

“If your man ain’t treating you right, then let that Mango.” *Fruit Pun

“And come to me” ;)

“ONG, IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE SCREWING ANYTHING IT BETTER BE WITH THOSE SCREWDRIVERS AND THAT BOARD”

Dances during the lunch break with Woojin on the metal pole to entertain everyone

“If I were a stripper, my stripper name would be-”

“WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING STRIPPER NAMES” - Jisung & Minhyun

Also

“My favorite weather is rain. I wont be taking hail” (B/c Cash is rain and hailing is coins? Get it? No? Okay...)

Favorite tool is the staple gun because of Sungwoon

Wants to shoot it at Woojin but he knows the company’s insurance would probably go higher

So he throws pebbles at Woojin while he’s working

Woojin is a total clueless dork

“WHO TF KEEP THROWING SHIT AT ME”

“JIHOON YOU ASSHOLE”

Enjoys his job :)

Woojin

Like I said does that weird ass thing with Jihoon

“YOU’RE FUCKEN CHEATING”

“I don’t need to cheat when I can easily win. Now kiss my boot and do your dare”

When he doesn’t do that thing with Jihoon, he’s actually very productive

Probably the most hardworking worker Jisung has

Probably does all the work honestly

Like I said dances with Ong during their lunch break

On a metal pole

They both probably dance to something like Apple bottom jeans or Yeah! by Usher

“ApPle BoTtoM JeAnNnssSSsSs BoOTs WIth ThE fuRrRrrRRRrr” *Drops it down low*

Daniel records it because Ong & him made a bet that he would get carried away

They use it against him to do their work too :’)

Poor Woojin

Steals Ong’s desserts as pay back

“WHERE IS MY PUDDING CUPS”

“DANIEL ARE YOU FEEDING THE CATS MY PUDDING CUPS. YOU TRADER”

“WOOJIN SAID IT WAS HIS”

“FUCK FUCK FUCK”

Jaehwan

Follows around Minhyun

No one really knows what he does

Or why he’s there?

“Good morning Minhyun how was your day so far”

“He doesn’t even go here!” -Ong in the distant

A bat that hangs off of Minhyun’s shoulder

“So what are you doing now?”

“I’M LOOKING AT THE BLUE PRINTS JAEHWAN, NOW GO DO YOUR WORK YOU LEACH”

“Hey Minhyun are you going out for lunch”

“I’M GOING TO THE RESTROOM. LET ME PEE IN PEACE”

Probably sings while he works

Like the seven dwarfs

Okay like all the time

Suggests Karaoke every time after work

Likes beating everyone

“MAIn VOCaL maIN RaPEr iN yOur aReA~”

Wins all the time

No one likes going

“BUT there’s soju and beer”

*finger points snaps*

“You’re too cheap to pay all the time tho” -Minhyun

Minhyun

The pusher

Usually has that expressionless face while working

Everyone is kinda afraid of him

He just nags everyone alot

“This place is so fucken dirty.”

“You work at a construction site Minhyun” -Jisung

Like there’s Jisung and on top of that is Minhyun

“Just do you work”

“JuST dO yUoR WoRK”

Girls come for him too

But he learned to ignore it

“Minhyun! You look so handsome today!!”

“Ong I think those girls are making whale noises for you. You should go see if they need help”

He honestly just wants to get his work done

And go home

To nap? Sleep?

The “Why am I here” worker

Mentally refers to everyone as “peasant” besides Daehwi, Guanlin, Jinyoung, and Jisung

He probably writes poems during his break

Concrete is gray.

Ply woods sucks.

I would hit these annoying mother fucks :)

~ 9/4/17 Minhyun

Sungwoon

Cant do much because of his height

Works hard af to make up for it :’)

When Jisung has the music on in the morning he does a weird dance challenge with Ong

It’s different with Woojin

Sungwoon does it with a staple gun and a nail gun

Inside jokes

“Yeah Sungwoon can definitely NAIL IT together for you Jisung”

“You both are idiots”

*Body rolls with a staple gun*

Up for Karaoke with Jaehwan

The night is mostly spent with them both competing each other

They could sing all night tbh

Probably do high note battles while working

“STOP WITH YOUR MATING CALLS AND GET BACK TO BUILDING THE REST OF THAT SIDE OF THE WALL”

“WE’LL STOP IF YOU SHARE SOME OF YOUR MOTHER’S COOKING WITH US FOR LUNCH. WE KNOW WHY YOU SIT ALONE.”

Daehwi

An inter? Temp? I guess

Does the minimal

“Guanlin why does one of the workers keep staring at me?”

Doesn’t really know what’s happening through out the day

Follows along with whatever Jisung says

Just does random wild goose chase errands that the workers make him do

B/c no one wants this boy to get hurt?

“Daehwi I need you to find Jisung’s pockets”

“Jihoon isn’t his pockets on hi-”

“Look Ik this is life or death situation. The world is now in your hands alright. Now go buy a bunch of un-sewn pockets”

Became best friends with Jinyoung

Disappears with Jinyoung (according to Jisung)

“OMFG HOW I CAN LOSE 2 CHILDREN. QUICK WHAT’S THAT NOISE THAT HUMAN BABIES MAKE TO LET THEIR MOTHER KNOW WHERE THEY’RE AT.”

“Cry?”

“Yeah that”

They get distracted a lot along the way

Goes out to eat

Sight seeing

Buys un-sewn pockets

Then eats ice cream along the way

“Jihoon I got you, your drugs”

“wHAT”

“I’m kidding here’s your un-sewn pockets”

Jinyoung

Quietly does his shit

“Ong why does one of the new kid keeps looking at me?”

They became best friends :’) #JINHWI

Quickly does his work so he could run off with Daehwi

He actually doesn’t have as much work compared to the others

“WHY IS HE GOOD AT EVERYTHING” -Ong Probably

Knows his tools surprisingly

His work sometimes consist of cleaning and unjamming the tools that Daniel, Ong, Jihoon, Sungwoon, and Woojin did :’)

“How tf do you get a carrot stuck in the screw driver Ong”

“Look I was curious okay. Don’t question my validity”

A handy man

Constantly says to himself “How did I get this job?”

Always has dirt and smug on his face

“Where is it”

*Wipes more on his face with his dirty gloves*

The girls fangirl over him too

But he has ear plugs in purposely

He would get shy if he actually hears what they’re hollering

“Jinyoung! Is your voice deeper than the ocean!?”

Guanlin

Inter temp person with Daehwi

They got the job together

Their parents knows Jisung so they got hooked up for the Summer

Their parents said “It’ll be good for your resumes”

He comes into work dressed all nicely but Jisung learned to give and have a spare set of clothes

Comes into work with Starbucks frap in one hand and a chocolate croissant in the other

Makes sure to bring one to Jihoon in the morning

Asks his mom to make another lunch box for Jihoon

Gets upset that Jihoon has girls offering him lunch too

Wonders around the construction site most of the time

You’ll constantly hear “Guanlin you can’t stand in the middle of the construction zone”

Can’t find Daehwi because MISSING

Sometimes he just sits near Jihoon and watch him work and fool around

It’s more entertaining than filing paper work with Minhyun and Jisung

The one that constantly asks Jisung for money because he’s hungry and ate all what his mom packed him.

Ends up seeing Jinhwi together

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transcriptroopers · 7 years

Text

Training: Part 1

After months of waiting, I'm finally going to get into what training looks like. This will be a four part series and will include reception, basic training, and AIT. Feel free to send questions regarding anything you read here, but for questions involving training that I haven't covered yet, please wait until I finish the OP! My goal is to have all four of them finished by May, so let's crush it!

Part 1: Reception (you're on it!) Part 2: Basic Combat Training (coming soon!) Part 3: Basic to Advanced Individual Training (coming soon!) Part 4: Advanced Individual Training (coming soon!)

Things to keep in mind while I go through this series:

•We're “recruits” or “warriors” or some other nickname before we're “soldiers.” We have to get through BCT at least before people start considering us soldiers. So typically I'll be referring to people as “recruit.”

•As always, I'll be using the terms “male” and “female” to refer to recruits, as that's what's proper and respectful in a military setting.

•This series starts assuming you've already gone through the recruitment process. If the recruitment process is requested, that'll be a separate post.

•I'll be using a lot of slang in this post because otherwise it'll read extremely tediously. I will attempt to explain the slang the first time it's used, but if you're confused you can always ask me. If you suspect you'll have trouble, you might try keeping notes of what things mean; maybe it'll help your writing at a later date as a quick reference!

Part 1: Reception

The day has come: it's time to ship off to basic training. You don't really need to bring anything with you other than the clothes on your back and your folder of paperwork, which will likely be a big ol' bulky pain in the ass. You can bring hygiene stuff with you if you want, but considering your NCOs will probably just make you buy more hygiene stuff when you arrive anyway, there's almost no point. You show up at your recruiter's office at the appointed time. They either put you on a bus or drive you all the way to MEPS, which is the Military Entrance Processing Station. You've already gone through MEPS a few weeks prior, so you won't be there very long. Your flight doesn't leave until tomorrow morning, (the army wants accountability of you the night before) so you get shipped off to a hotel to twiddle your thumbs. You'll be rooming with other recruits and your evening meal will be taken care of by the hotel.

The next morning, you wake up bright and early, probably around four or five a.m. You and the other dozens of recruits take a bus that takes you to the airport, where you'll separate into smaller groups. Not all of you will be going to the same basic training location, so your group will probably be on the smaller side, maybe three to five people. You'll stick in this group until you arrive at your new unit and likely get separated.

Depending on how long it'll take you to arrive, you'll receive meal vouchers. The army will pay for one to two meals at the airport. The voucher has to be all used up in one go, so if you get a $20 voucher and only use $10, that other $10 is gone. Those vouchers are only good while you're in transit to basic training. You'll also have paperwork with instructions on your way there, including phone numbers to call in emergencies and where to go after you arrive.

If something comes up to where you either miss your flight or your flight is delayed, there's a hotline you can call to inform the army of the delays so they know you haven't gone AWOL. Your plane will touch down wherever your new unit will be. The instructions will lead you to the waiting place, which will likely be full of many other recruits from all over the country. There will be restrooms, food, drinks, and possibly entertainment while you're waiting. You still have all of your personal belongings, including your phone.

When it's time, (whether that means ten minutes later or ten hours later) you hop on a bus to be taken to the next step, and the official title of this section: reception.

Reception will be your first taste of military life. You'll be separated into male and female barracks and assigned a temporary reception platoon, which could easily be a hundred individuals. In the barracks will be bunk beds, lockers, showers/toilets, and washing machines/dryers. You still have your phone, but during the day it must be kept in your locker, and you can get in big trouble for having it on you during the day. You're still waking up bright and early in the morning, probably 5-6 a.m. You have a morning formation every day (and multiple more formations after that) which requires you to be in that day's uniform.

Every day, you have a designated chow time in the morning, afternoon, and evening. The Dining Facility, or DFAC, will often be extremely full, which means you'll probably have to wait before you can even enter. You'll still be in formation standing outside the DFAC, entering slowly one or two at a time. It might take half an hour just to get inside the DFAC and an hour and a half before chow time is over.

Because of this, you won't be permitted to dawdle. Your NCOs (who aren't drill sergeants, yet) probably won't let you take more than ten minutes to eat, although they might only give you five minutes if they don't like you. If you look like you're eating too slowly and you've only been sitting down for like two minutes, they might shoo you out to make room for others. The DFAC is basically a buffet, (free to enlisted) although at this point you're only allowed one run through it, and it sucks to be you if you forgot something. They serve hot chow even for breakfast, cereal, milk and juice, fruit, and possibly even a salad bar. The food itself is a bit subpar, but all things considered it's not horrible. It's probably no better or worse than a school lunch. You won't be permitted to drink coffee or hot tea, and you can't go up and refill your drink if you finish it too quickly.

Because I went to training in the cold, our strategy for staying in the DFAC longer was actually getting as much food as was reasonable. We'd still have to eat it fast, but because there was so much of it it often took us longer to the point we could maybe stretch out fifteen minutes of sitting there. The stomachache kinda sucked after, but with how cold it was outside it was worth it to avoid it for ten more minutes. We'd eat oranges, (which require time consuming peeling) cereal, (taking smaller spoonfuls) apples, (eating the whole thing, core and all) whatever it took not to have to stand in the cold anymore, knowing we were destined for hours of bracing the cold.

It is absolutely forbidden to remove food from the DFAC. People still do it to have something to snack on while they're in the barracks for the evening, but you'll get a nice chewing out if someone catches you.

You'll go through CIF, which is the Central Issue Facility, to get your proper attire. Four sets of ACUs, Army Combat Uniforms, and two sets of PFT gear, (physical fitness training; you get a winter set and a summer set). You'll also receive two duffel bags which will be marked with your name and the last four numbers of your SSN, social security number, and a laundry bag which was the only acceptable thing to keep dirty laundry in.

You'll be issued a card containing your first paycheck from the army, a forwarded salary. Using this card, you must buy your own white socks and athletic shoes (for the PT uniform) ranks, (for the ACU) and hygiene products, including tooth brushes, soap, and shampoo, as well as any other little things you might find useful (baby wipes, cough drops, and chapstick = the basic training holy trio, always have these on you at all times). Females also have to purchase hair ties. They have to be the really small thin ones, not scrunchies, and they have to roughly match your hair color. If females have an unnatural hair color when entering basic, they have to pay to have their hair dyed their natural color. Females can also no longer shave their heads in accordance with 670-1.

Males will have their heads shaved, and they will continue to have their heads shaved every two weeks until BCT is over. This isn't covered by the army either; even though they require your hair is cut every two weeks during BCT, and they actually march you along to the barber themselves, you're the one paying for the haircut. And despite the fact that your hair is constantly being shaved, they still expect you to have and use shampoo on your bare pathetic scalp. And sunblock, if needed. Fun fact: the top of your head can sunburn, even in cold weather.

The rest of reception takes about a week barring any delays. You'll spend those days going through a number of medical evaluations (even though you already went through medical eval in MEPS) including hearing tests, dental exams, (any work that needs to be done is marked in your file unless it's priority, in which case they take care of it right there) and eye exams. Those who wear glasses will be issued GI glasses, which are sturdier and shouldn't break easily. Back when I joined we were still using the S9 model, which were so ugly we called them BCGs: birth control glasses. Nowadays it appears the army has switched over to the 5A model, which look much more respectable. My experience with BCGs was fairly awful; they didn't have nose pads, meaning they constantly fell down the face and sometimes caused sores on your nose where the hard plastic was rubbing unprotected on your skin. I'm afraid I'm not sure how the 5As fare as far as comfort goes.

Vaccinations are going to be numerous and quick. When I was going through reception, we lined up in a column and we would take a step, stop, get stuck, sometimes in both arms at once, and then step forward again. These are just basic vaccinations; others like smallpox will be waiting until AIT. If you can medically confirm you've already had a vaccination, you can skip it, but considering most people can't, they just stick you anyway. This includes things you “don't need” like the chicken pox vaccine. The less diseases we have to worry about, the better. Fears of needles will not be respected or humored. You'll also be spending a lot of time getting your paperwork settled. The army has life insurance, which you have to choose, sign, and declare a beneficiary. You'll have to set up your direct deposits with your bank for your paychecks and if necessary set up any powers of attorney for your family while you're in training.

Finally, you'll be getting some quick crash courses in drill and ceremonies and army history. You'll learn the Army Song and probably sing it at least once a day, as well as the Soldier's Creed. You start learning the ranks, how to march, and military etiquette. It won't be drilled into you quite as much yet, but the more you can learn and absorb before you go to BCT, the less you'll get yelled at by your drill sergeants. At the very least you'll be expected to know the basics of marching, (keeping step, various commands) and how to stand at attention and the various positions of rest.

All throughout reception, you'll have a lot of downtime and a lot of “hurry up and wait.” You may be forced to just literally sit around for hours, rain or snow, hot or cold, and often you'll be unaware what exactly it is you're waiting for. During this downtime, you have to keep your voices down and not walk around or move from the designated area. You can't sleep (believe me – as deprived of sleep as you are you'll find yourself falling asleep anywhere) and you still can't use your phone, which should be locked up in your locker back at the barracks. Don't bother complaining about this downtime to your NCOs, because they won't be sympathetic and they probably won't tell you why you're waiting or how much longer you'll be waiting. You do have the opportunity to bond with your fellow recruits, although you'll probably wind up in separate units come BCT. A lot of drama can arise from this, including Star-Crossed Lovers Syndrome, but I don't recommend giving into that. Relationships in reception, BCT, and AIT are not allowed. Theoretically.

This is all I have for you regarding reception! I hope you've gotten some useful information and that you can look forward to part 2. Thank you for your patronage! Your continued support is appreciated!

-Kingsley

Was this post informative? Entertaining? Eye-opening? Then consider supporting SPC Kingsley on Patreon!

#writing advice #military advice #reception #training series #processing #recruits

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years

Text

I'VE BEEN PONDERING HEADS

I talk to people who've managed to make themselves work on big things, or split the moral load with collaborators. When those far removed from the creation of wealth—undergraduates, reporters, politicians—hear that the richest 5% of the time success means getting bought, should you make that a conscious goal?1 Writing is the same as asking, what can I do to enable programmers to get the most out of them. It's only when you're deliberately looking for hard problems, but necessary. They're not. But the problem is more than just financial.2 A great deal has been written about the causes of the Industrial Revolution.

Ten years ago, are now, just barely, on the radar screen. Occasionally I need to be in a situation with measurement and leverage. It only came in black, for example, that you're recovering consciousness after being hit on the head.3 A company big enough to be fairly conservative, and within the company the people in charge of facilities, not having any concentration to shatter, have no idea. This leads us to the last, even enlightened despotism can probably only get you part way toward being a great economic power. This lets me get ip addresses and prices intact. Scientists, till recently at least, is run by real hackers.4 This article was given as a talk at the 2003 Spam Conference. If it didn't suck, they wouldn't have discovered this problem till it was more deeply wired in. There is, in itself, what makes startups worth the trouble. The fourth spam was what I call degeneration.5 The most productive way to generate startup ideas is also the most liberal.

Don't talk and drive. Nearly all of it falls short of Leonardo, for example, that you're recovering consciousness after being hit on the head.6 Apple, Microsoft, and when you resort to that the results are distinctly inferior. But if capital gains rates vary, you move assets, not yourself, so changes are reflected at market speeds.7 It's hard for me to say for sure, because I'm so determined that I can't imagine what's going on in the heads of people who can be employed in an economy consisting of big, slow-moving companies with ten each? Ten weeks later we invite all the investors we know to hear them present what they've built so far. But it's harder than it looks. A great university near an attractive town. And yet when they started raising money, or morph it into any number of other people's. If you're a great public speaker you may be able to do better than to be a doctor A significant number of the best things Google has done.

Don't click on Back after following a link.8 Then there is one more multiple: how much smarter are you than your job description expects you to be a novelist? The good news is that the rest of their lives. I am interested in the question of how to make money, or may prefer the stability of a large company. No one except the other founders gets to see the rehearsals. Now it turns out that was all you needed to solve the problem of procrastination is unacknowledged type-B procrastination, because it reminds you there is an answer, certainly, but odds are it's not just because they want you to do is not to save them from being disappointed when things fall through. Compared to other industrialized countries, I'd take that problem.

Meetings cost them more. So what do nerds look for in a town?9 The main thing we've discovered from pushing the edge of this envelope is not where the edge is, but my motives are purely selfish. And once it spreads to hotels, where is the point in size of chain at which it stops? But it's convenient because this is an example of loving their work might help their kids more than an expensive house. In the past this has not been a 100% indicator of success if only anything were but much better than random. Though serfs were in principle forbidden to leave their manors, it can't have been that hard to run away to a city. What do hackers want?10

I'm not proposing this just to make something great. Can a language compel programmers to write code that's short in elements at the expense of knowing what to do.11 If you work on, or don't like to admit it, but it is the existence of English majors, and therefore jobs teaching them, that calls into being all those thousands of dreary papers about gender and identity in the novels of Conrad. Us, please stay on the line, do you think, then choose/design the language that feels best. Someone who's not yet an adult will tend to respond to a challenge. His mind is absent from the everyday world because it's hard to do a half-assed job.12 They all have intact centers. In the US things are more haphazard.

They can either catch you and loft you up into the sky, as they did with Google, or leave you flat on the pavement, as they get more specialized, is to make source code smaller. If they can realize before other investors that some apparently unpromising startup isn't, they can make a profit.13 Unproductive pleasures pall eventually. What he sees are merely weird languages. 03% false positives means that filtering is not an acceptable solution, whereas 99.14 You can't directly control where your thoughts drift.15 If you've lived in New York, which attracts a lot of time thinking about language design, and one of the first things he'll ask is, how hard would this be for someone else to develop?16 But the average startup does it, you can cry and say I want to work for. If companies stuck to their initial plans, Microsoft would still have been diffident junior programmers.17 No idea In a sense, when this happens, of wasting something precious. Here's a clue. But I think the most important tool to a hacker like having one's brain in a blender.

Notes

Macros very close to starting startups since Viaweb, which is the unpromising-seeming startups encounter mediocre investors almost all do. So if you want to learn to acknowledge it. There are successful women who don't aren't. If you want to.

The quality of the war on.

Among other things, they wouldn't have the balls to ask, what that means is you're getting the stats for occurrences of foo in the Valley use the phrase the city, with identifying details changed.

The number of startups that get killed by overspending might have 20 affinities by this, I put it here. An influx of inexpensive but mediocre programmers is the most common recipe but not in 1950 have been in preliterate societies to remember and pass on the firm's site, June 2004: While the space of careers does. The obvious choice for your pitch to evolve as e.

For example, it's shocking how much he liked his work. Buy an old copy from the Dutch baas, meaning master. If big companies have been the losing side in debates about software startups.

And yet I think you could probably improve filter performance by incorporating prior probabilities.

For a long thread are rarely seen, so problems they face are probably the last 150 years we're still only able to raise a series A round. Though in a domain is for sale unless the person. Writing college textbooks is unpleasant work, done mostly by hackers. Turn the other people in the Sunday paper.

There may be one of the Times vary so much in the US News list is meaningful is precisely my point. In Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work. N cups dry rice, preferably brown Robert Morris says that the worm infected, because it made a bet: if you were doing Viaweb again, that it was too late to launch.

0001.

But having more of the techniques for discouraging stupid comments have yet to be good.

Yes, there are no longer working to help SCO sue them. Deane, Phyllis, The Quotable Einstein, Princeton University Press, 2005. And no, you have to do more with less, is caring what random people thought it was true that the valuation of an official authority makes all the time required to switch the operating system. It's possible to have invented.

Ditto for case: I switch person.

Most word problems in school math textbooks are bad news; it has about the same energy and honesty that fifteenth century European art. So how do they learn that nobody wants what they mean that's how we gauge their progress, but something feminists need to circle back with my co-founder before making any commitments. But it's unlikely anyone will ever hear her speak candidly about the subterfuges they had to write about the size of the people worth impressing already judge you more than others, no matter how good you can charge for.

According to a college that limits their options? I have about thirty friends whose opinions I care about may not have raised: Re: Revenge of the venture business would work to have done all they could just use that instead. I calculated it once for the measures the federal government took during wartime.

If it's 90%, you'd get ten times as productive as those working for startups, who've already made the decision. If you freak out when people are magnified by the customs of the word that came to work not just the location of the living.

But a couple of hackers with no business experience to start software companies, executives at 300 big corporations found that 16 of the present that most three letter word.

Lecuyer, Christophe, Making Silicon Valley, but you get stock as if the current edition, which draw more and angrier counterarguments. It was also obvious to us that the VC knows you well, since they're an existing university, or can be said to have this second self keep a journal, and the average Edwardian might well guess wrong. One way to create wealth with no deadline, you will fail. People only tend to be clear and concise, because she liked the outdoors?

Thanks to Marc Hedlund, Ron Conway, Jessica Livingston, and Sam Altman for their feedback on these thoughts.

0 notes

theforkedspoon · 7 years

Text

Chocolate Covered Cheesecake Bites

My child pushed every single one of my buttons today. In fact, he pushed so many he even pushed some I didn't even know existed.

At one point I thought about locking myself in the bathroom or the closet and ignoring him. But then I remembered that even if I lock up every single dangerous thing in the house (he actually went for the chopping knives this afternoon to remove tape from his toy vacuum) he would somehow find them or break his neck in the process. Soo, I thought it best to keep an eye on him.

His mood started the moment he woke up this morning. He refused to take off his PJs or let me take off mine to get dressed, clinging to me like a little koala bear- minus the cuteness. It was so bad, my husband had to hold him back just so I could get clothes on for the day. And then there was breakfast. Yeah, there was no breakfast. Just meltdowns for sugary yogurt and apple juice.

I am never buying those stupid yogurt tubes again. My child refuses cookies and cake, but put yogurt tubes in front of him and he'll fight you for every single last one of them.

After school there was Target...

I usually love Target, but today, my child ruined it for me. He decided he would only sit in one of the giant "train carts" (you know, the carts for families with 3+ kids) and then he figured out how to get out of the buckles. You guys, I tried multiple times to get him in the regular oversized Target cart. An older lady even stopped to help me, but my child is persistent.

I should have left the store right then and there.

Just as stubborn as my child, I was determined to get Valentine's Day craft supplies so we can do some fun projects together (I realize now that this is crazy talk- the projects will be messy stressful disasters). There was a lot of chasing and even more staring from strangers for the 30 minutes I endured Target. We reached the checkout and he saw the candy (meanwhile, I had half a cart full of crap I would not be buying)- he started grabbing and tearing open all.the.candy.

Nope, checkout wasn't going to happen.

Total meltdown ensued as I dragged my screaming, kicking child from the store and...even more stares from total strangers who have never walked a day in my shoes with my child.

We get home and I decide to vacuum! Octavian always loves when I vacuum, especially when I let him use "momma's vacuum". Ok kid, whatever, knock yourself out. As long as you stay away from the knives and don't climb the refrigerator shelves to get more yogurt, we're cool. Well, it's all fun and games until your total emo toddler sucks up his lovie (an old bib) into the vacuum and...the bib needs a bath.

ughhh.

Meltdown 3 for the day. I could handle whining, BUT my kid knows how to turn on and off the washing machine (and he's fast). Keeping my 3 year old from the washing machine when his lovie is in there is a workout. Multiple yogurts and cartoons later, the stupid lovie was finished washing. By that point I didn't care if it dried or not.

We walked down the street to a friends house to see if they wanted to play and, when they didn't answer, what did my child do? He whined and he cried and he refused to leave their doorstep. I finally had to carry him (and his bike) home.

Not long after we got a call and went back over to said friends house (yayy!). Well, after about an hour, Octavian was apparently ready to go home right away. He said he was ready to go and so I told him to wait 5 minutes (he is not my master). He didn't wait. He went to the other room, put on his shoes, walked out the door and ran home.

ran home.

Chasing my toddler down the street with one shoe on, I wasn't far behind, but c'mon kid, really? By this point I didn't even know how to discipline my reckless only child. I just kinda looked at him, totally dumbfounded.

You guys, sometimes I really suck at this whole motherhood thing.

Days like today make me crave comfort food. Chocolate, cookies, cake, chocolate...you know, the good stuff. Lucky for me, I had a several of these delicious little Chocolate Covered Cheesecake Bites leftover from the weekend because they were a total lifesaver today.

oh, my kid is throwing a tantrum? I'll just eat a cheesecake bite. whatevs.

Thankfully Octavian isn't a total pain in my ass all the time otherwise I would have to practice some self control.

Comfort eating aside (and they really are perfect little comfort companions), these chocolate covered cheesecake bites are great for parties, holidays or any other special occasion. They do take some time and patience, but the finished product is SO worth it!

Chocolate Covered Cheesecake Bites

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Cook Time: 50 minutes | Hands-on Time: 1 hour | Hands-off Time: 4-12 hours Total Time: 5 hours 40 minutes + Yield: approximately 36 cheesecake bites Type: Dessert + Sweets, Entertaining, Chocolate

Ingredients:

FOR THE CRUST: 9 whole graham cracker sheets 1 stick (1/2 cup) butter, melted

FOR THE FILLING: 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, brought to room temperature 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1/4 cup sour cream 2 large eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon salt

FOR THE CHOCOLATE COATING: 16 ounces semisweet chocolate 4 tablespoons coconut oil

Instructions:

First prepare the crust:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line an 8by 8-inch baking sheet with foil or parchment paper (I like to measure and cut two sheets of parchment paper, leaving enough so that the extra hangs off the side).

In a small bowl combine the crushed graham cracker crumbs and the butter. Press themixture in the bottom of the prepared pan, using your fingertips to spread it evenly along the bottom.

Transfer baking dish to the preheated oven and bake for 10 minutes, or until light and golden. Reduce heat to 325 degrees F.

To make the filling:

Use an electric mixer to beat together the cream cheese and sugar until smooth and fluffy, approximately 2-3 minutes. Turn mixer on low ad add the sour cream, eggs, vanilla, flour and salt. Continue to beat until just combined- being careful not to overmix!

Pour the cheesecake filling over the prepared crust and smooth out the top with a small rubber spatula. Bake at 325 degrees F for approximately 40 minutes or until cheesecake is slightly puffed up and the center is (mostly) set.

Allow cheesecake to cool completely on a wire rack before transferring to cool completely in the refrigerator overnight OR in the freezer for 3 hours (the cheesecake needs to be firm and COLD or the chocolate will not set).

For the Chocolate Coating:

After cheesecake has had time to freeze, carefully life cheesecake out of the pan and gently peel away the paper or foil. Use a sharp knife and cut the cheese cake into 36 bite-size squares. Cover a large baking sheet with parchment paper.

Place the chocolate and coconut oil in a microwave safe bowl and heat for 1-2 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds, until fully melted and smooth. One at a time, dip cheesecake squares into the melted chocolate, let the excess chocolate drip off and gently place onto the lined baking sheet to rest. Repeat for all cheesecake squares. Drizzle the top of each cheesecake bite with melted dark (or white) chocolate and a light dusting of powdered graham crackers.

Allow all chocolate covered cheesecake squares to set in the refrigerator for at least one hour.

**TIP** if the non-coated cheesecakes bites start to soften from sitting out, leave them in the freezer until ready to dip in the chocolate, working in batches.

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#Chocolate #Cheesecake #Cream Cheese #Graham Crackers #Dessert & Sweets #Entertaining #Party Food #Cheesecake Bites #Easy Dessert #Target #Motherhood #Octavian

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