#applications suck sometimes

[the-yearning-astronaut]

I wish I could be agender the way Murderbot is agender. Right down to the lack of biological sexual characteristics. So agender that the term agender comes with too much associated gender to accurately apply. You know what I mean?

#help the dysphoria is kicking my ass again today and everything about me looks and feels wrong #demigirl still feels like it is applicable but also i wish i was more masculine but NOT in that way only THIS way #am i uncomfortable with my curves because of internalized fatphobia? because of the association with being feminine? both? #is it my actual curves themselves or is it the very reality of having a physical body that will be gendered some way no matter what i do? #i hate it I hate all of it #Murderbot #agender #gender #gender dysphoria #body dysphoria #dysphoria #fox thoughts #'maybe if i dress more masculine that will help' #nope no thats still leaning into gender #how do i do both at once so that they cancel each other out? #i don't want to be masculine but i don't want to be female lite™ either #I don't want to be perceived as having any gender at all and its not fucking possible #fuck i don't even want to deal with pronouns 80% of the time and i don't care for my name either #why does physically existing suck so bad sometimes #☉

[corfisers]

two weird things that happen to me more often than i'd like and feel like they are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum: forgetting that i do actually speak two languages and forgetting that some people who post here in english speak only english

#the latter is usually when there's some post on linguistics or just like?? a thing with eng being passed as universal??? #don't have any examples off the top of my head unfortunately #but sometimes you read a post and get this “oh you never had to grapple with concepts that are not applicable to your first language” feel #this isn't me trying to shame anyone who speaks one language btw you're fine as long as you're not being an asshole #to people who's eng isn't perfect or have some weirdly strong opinions on translation or languages in general #while not having any actual knowledge you know? #whatever idk how much sense i'm making #forgetting that i speak rus has more to do with how used i am to using eng. to the point that i mostly think in it #kinda sucks if i'm being honest? i'm rereading idiot and went to look up eng translation for a chapter because i wanted to post something #and augh it's not the same! it's not the same. might be just not the best translation fuck if i know but still #but yeah i barely use rus outside of talking to someone irl (rarely happens) or reading a book. it's weird #benvey tag

[andthebeanstalk]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend accurately conveying what it was like for me to graduate college into a professional world with no upward mobility but A WHOLE LOT of inspirational wall decorations. 🤣🙃🙃🙃

#original #worst part of college for me was the career fairs cause as far as I can tell there was no vetting process for what businesses were there #so I was really really strongly encouraged to go to these things by my parents and professors like every 6 months and it was like... #every single business there seemed to be offering either shitty exploitative low-paying jobs or soul-crushing low-level government work #I guess businesses that offer actually quality jobs just send out requests for applications - they don't send people to fairs at colleges #so it was an incredibly depressing and sobering time where all of this really aggressive inspirational rhetoric I'd been fed my whole life #just slammed up against this very uncomfortable reality #🎵 I AM THE MOMENT. THE MOMENT IS ME. 🎵 😬😬😬 #there are jobs out in the world that don't suck ass but the job market is deeply fucked up in general in hyper capitalist america #and I was paying a lot of money to go to this fucking school that was supposed to set me up with a career! #what the FUCK were Teach for America (very exploitative) and canvassing jobs (even worse) doing at the jobs fair for a business school?! #sometimes college is a scam y'all #crazy ex girlfriend #cxgf #(okay well actually the worst part of college for me was the trauma but that was largely not the fault of the school)

[loumauve]

.

#sometimes I wish there was like a guide or sth to dealing with intimacy when you're ace #not just in relationships but also in relationships #bc sometimes I think back to conversations I've had with non-ace folks in the past #and usually they would come down to sth like 'when you know you know' #or 'there's gonna be this look and you'll know it's the right moment' #which all seems fake af and untrue and entirely un-applicable if you've agreed to sth else #like.. if you've agreed to not worry abt that and that you'll pick up the topic if anything ever changes #but how do you know if things have changed. how do you know what you want vs what you're wanting only in the moment #and how do you not make it awkward if you bring it up only to later realise maybe you were just having a weird moment #(like. I go through phases every month and I know it's coming. but I also know it'll go away again eventually) #(and like.. I guess I'm still terrified of setting expectations for things I can later not fulfill) #(and sure that's prob due to fucked up shit that happened in past relationships and this is not the same) #((..the difference a partner you can trust to keep their word on respecting your boundaries can make...)) #anyway. scared shitless of starting sth I can't finish. also unsure if I want to start anything in the first place #and just so tired of not knowing where to even fucking start. gonna blame my migraine weirdness for posting this in the first place #a day in the life of.. #(((how to know if maybe you'd like something now when you haven't in the past but now all parameters are different.. #..and maybe it would be nice but maybe it would still suck and you'd end up hating it and feeling regretful.. #..and maybe you'll never be able to get out of your head enough to just have a moment and go with it and be happy)))

[munamania]

i mean this wholeheartedly. about two weeks ago i was prepared to like. be kind to myself and my mind and them and obviously i was not even close to Over it but for some level of peace of mind i was genuinely like Ok. maybe we can be friends or just talk sometimes and whatever happens happens. or doesn’t. and then they had their little fight (?) and the insanity of last week happened. once again reopening hopes. for like the fifth time. and for that this is me @ the universe and my own brain

#me and this orange cat. besties. #i’m so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 #like trying to get back to that now. oh i could pull a kyle and punch a wall #not out of ANGER at anyone just sooo much frustration like this is so annoying!!!!! #ok. im gonna make some lunch and journal if i have time and prepare for class and work #and. i am going to reach out to my writing professor to ask about my story. show initiative and that i don’t think im an idiot with horrible #ideas etc. and im going to submit late applications for this other fun film thing that hopefully i could join next semester #and try to talk to friends more and be nicer to my roommates. step by step basis though. #film girl saga #when i say i feel like a middle schooler sometimes talking abt this!!! i’m trying to be mature but my GOD. i have never liked someone this #much and it sucks sooooooooooo bad.

[galariangengar]

💭

#I’m sad cuz my best friends and I made plans to video chat sometime this weekend #and once again it’s not gonna happen :( #this is the second time this month this has happened #I get that their both busy and stuff and will gladly listen to them rant and vent to me about what’s stressing them out and stuff #but it still sucks… one is a teacher but now realizes she hates her job but it’s the beginning of the school year and her first yr teaching #the other is starting her master’s program that I helped her with the applications and stuff and I know she’s stressed/busy with that #then my pathetic worthless ass is still stuck at home with my shitty parents #still no license/waiting for October to apply to a couple master’s programs for nursing… and still very lonely and isolated… #ok I’ll shut up now before I this about all of this too much and before I start crying and become depressed and shit… #squid sister says stuff

[whale-in-that-case]

I think,,., That you have to allow bad art if you want good one.

#this is specifically about representation of aspecs in fandom #but i think you can apply it to a lot of things #yes some ace/aro headcanons are cliche and maybe even hurtful #but they still exist. #idk maybe my standards are very low #i just think that you have to allow people to suck sometimes. so they can learn and get better at stuff yeah #and also because they are people and that's what people do. #and that's especially applicable in fandom spaces because you can just ignore what you don't like #mine

[toastsnaffler]

maaan i was having breakfast w my flatmate this morning and she'd already done all her jobhunting stuff for the day extra early so she can play videogames and im rly glad shes able to motivate herself like that but also seeing the steam popup notifying me shes playing smth makes me feel like the kid who didnt finish the work and has to stay in the classroom during break watching their friends play outside

#it takes me like. the entire day just to do a measly 2 applications #theyre not even that difficult i have all the component parts prewritten so i can just copy paste relevant things or whatever #like i probably only cumulatively spend an hour a day doing this shit. but my executive function is so fucking terrible #so it takes forever and ever just to get myself started on it and then i cant stay focused at ALL bc i fucking hate doing it #and it feels so pointless bc w jobs its abt the quantity of apps u send out. i have friends who churn out 30-40 a week minimum #and then they still only get like 2 interviews how the fuck am i ever gonna get a single 1 at this pace im already trying my hardest #its so embarrassing i feel like a complete fucking loser i hate having adhd i hate bending myself backwards for the most basic shit #and im disabled so theres some stuff i cant do/struggle with and everyones like yeah theyll discriminate against u bc of it that sucks #like ik i dont need to be told that!!!!!!!!! or theyll be rly patronising and tell me not to mention that shit im not fucking stupid #but also its kind of difficult to avoid it coming up when i cant even answer fucking phone calls bc im too fucking deaf #and then im so exhausted by the end of the day i have no energy left to do anything creative or fun i just have to sit down and cry #or sometimes i play videogames or smth but my attention span by then has dropped off completely so i cant even enjoy it #genuinely soulsucking shit. having a job would probably suck too but i dont think itd be half as bad as this. uni wasnt even this bad #psyching myself up every morning only to want to kms every evening. what a world we live in #whatever. whatever i need to pull my shit together and get smth done today. uhgdhfkjhdhfghkf. sorry for complaining on main #.diaries #.vent

[daisyforyourthoughts]

In a world where an act of kindness is seen as the most selfish act, when to use or be used is expected, it is not the act of kindness that kills society, but the expectations born from being kind. The only way to change this is to find people willing to be kind, without exception or expectation, to prove that true kindness, and consequently true humanity, can exist and give way to unconditional, unbounded love.

#read this to my uncle #he asked who I was quoting #he thought it was some important niche author #but nope #just me #i've impressed myself #thoughts #deep thoughts #thinking #love #kindess #society #be kind #true kindness #true love #??? maybe #currently applicable #we kinda just suck sometimes #y'know

[strawberriesinmoominvalley]

faith is so hard. i know this. but WHY

#i know why. i know it is never meant to be easy #the constant religious crisis in my life!!! woop!!! #am i christian? should i convert to judaism? #throw in a complex relationship to gender and life sucks a lot sometimes #it'll pass. it'll be okay #i need some religious friends this is a formal application #you'd think like. being brought up in a church community would at least give me christian friends (even if my faith is a struggle) #nope! no such luck #anyway. sorry to anyone who sees this #it is not that important! #but on a serious note i would like some religious friends haha #anyways #personal #i think i should start saying personal tags so you all can block it #if it annoys you to see my crisis

[catullansparrowlet]

"Do you even speak the Dutch though?"

Better than you do English, apparently.

#hallo? #Sometimes the locals really are Something Else #I literally speak the same language as they do just with a different accent #Which to them means I'm slow and uneducated #Which sucks #But also: listen to yourself my guy #You don't know either Dutch nor English and you're judging me over my pronunciation of #You're the second in command huh? Feel free to lose my application. #the job quest saga

[oflgtfol]

also i mentioend how my store manager was making sure we were closing w 3 people despite that being against what he was supposed to WELL APPARENTLY HE GOT IN TROUBLE WITH THE DISTRICT MANAGER about it so YES we’re back to closing with 2 people again and i hate it. i salute his efforts to go against the company though o7

#brot posts #michaels posting #we just dont have ANY hours at ALL #god between this and the credit cards and the fact we’re getting self checkout sometime in the indeterminate future #according to the employee subreddit (no mention of it to me irl) #im really seriously tempted to quit #but unfortunately i really like all my coworkers and i really like the atmosphere in our store #and yknow when shit doesnt suck. then i do actually enjoy this job #so i really dont WANT to quit #but if Things Start Sucking Forever then well. tschüss #i just also really dont want to go thru the job hunting phase again gawd i dont wanna deal w that #theres a job im looking at that is actually relevant to astronomy so im hoping i can get my foot in the door there #but thats just emailing some guy my resume #as opposed to the ol website retail application grind yet again

[random2908]

From my lease agreement for my new apartment.

#I vaguely recall that in the application it said you were allowed to have one (1) cat as a pet and that's it #the lease is boiler-plate while the application was specific to the apartment complex I guess #so that's why the lease implies that if you could only pick just the right breed maybe you'd be allowed to have a dog #I had snakes growing up but now have mixed feelings about how ethical they are as pets #I want a cat and the last time I interacted with a cat it was more or less fine but the time before that #I broke out in hives all over my face #so yeah cat's out of the question unfortunately #(both times were within the past year--just the one I was very allergic to was elderly) #(the cat that was fine alternated between sleeping in the bed with me and sleeping on the couch with his owner) #(the cat I was allergic to went back and forth between being perched on my shoulder and sitting in my lap for just half an hour) #(so yeah sometimes I can have sustained contact with a cat and sometimes I can't even have short-term contact with a cat which sucks)

[devotedlystrangewizard]

i wish i could go back in time to tell my 14 year old self about this like yeah ur health is gonna go to shit and no ur not gonna feel any better and yeah ur relationship with ur mom will get worse and also ur trans and have new trauma from transphobia BUT. BUT. mcr and ptv released new music

#ffxiv endwalker is about how yeah life sucks but its not all bad and it feels so applicable #because yeah i feel like garbage physically and i have to take antidepressants to even be able to leave my bed #but my favorite bands have put out new songs! i have a fun special interest that keeps me busy! #life may suck sometimes but its also good sometimes and i wish i could tell her that

[1000-year-old-virgin]

Fighting like crazy to get this job only to realize there was a typo in the application email after proof reading it 2 times.

Of course I noticed the typo after its sent already but what ever

#personal #oh well #you ain't gettin' that job #life sucks sometimes #work #jobs #resumes #applications #emails #typos

[dear-ao3]

hello and greetings to all my friends moving into college dorms this time of year!!!

while it is a well known fact that college dorms are often not cleaned at all between people, it is important to tell the administration about things that are absolutely Abysmal.

for example: things that are beyond broken, extremely dirty conditions, clear evidence of vomit/bodily fluids, anything that plain doesn’t work, etc.

to be clear, i am not talking about things that can be fixed with a bottle of clorox wipes, some disinfectant, or a screwdriver. these are things that are either a health hazard or are not in proper working condition.

my credentials on this matter: i was a resident assistant for 2 years. i’ve seen some shit.

here’s what you can do!!!

do not try to talk to anyone in person ESPECIALLY on move in day. all administration that can deal with your problems are probably dealing with bigger problems. move in day is an absolute mess. don’t try and bother res life on move in day unless you physically cannot move into your room for some reason (like there’s a clear cut maintenance problem). you can try to talk to someone, but chances are it won’t get you anywhere other than frustration. it sucks, but that’s the reality of it.

take before and after pictures!!! document everything!!! make sure your pictures are clear, take photos, etc. you will need these. show what you did to clean/fix the problem if necessary.

send a long and detailed email to the following people: the director of residential life, the head of facilities/ building management, the office of accessibility/ student services/whatever it’s called on your campus (even if it is not an accessibility issue usually these people are the fastest to respond), and the college president (often they won’t respond but it gets everyone else’s attention). if applicable you can also send the email to the head of campus safety/security and student health services/ health center). include your photos and make the email as long and detailed as possible. send this email ASAP. you need a paper trail. if you got get a response in three business days send a follow up email and go down to the res life office (often they will say they are busy and no one can speak to you, but sometimes you just have to annoy the crap out of them)

tell your ra. tell them multiple times. a lot of the time they can’t do anything about it, but they can tell their supervisor about it.

keep pestering people until you get an answer. don’t feel bad about it. you should not be paying tuition to live in a shit hole that violates health codes. a lot of the time they can’t move you elsewhere, but the school should still know about the problem.

get your parents involved as a last resort. generally offices hate dealing with parents but if you’ve exhausted all other avenues then go ahead and do it.

i wish you all the best of luck, remember that you are in college to learn and learning how to deal with stubborn administration is definitely one of those things. a little dirt is normal, but sticky carpets, broken glass, broken thermostats, etc, are not. you’re paying to go there, get someone to fix it.

#SINCERELY #someone who has spent 10 hours cleaning her younger sisters college apartment and it is still not clean #my dad rented a carpet cleaner from home depot that’s how bad it was #that is Unacceptable #not a tag #from saph #college life