#april looks so happy here i wanna die
abrilstevens · a year ago
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balkanradfem · a year ago
The basics of growing food
So, growing food sounds very intimidating, and in reality, it's something people knew how to do thru all history, and it's made even easier by new methods of 'no till' and 'no dig' garden. I didn't know almost anything about it until 3 years ago, when I got a plot in a community garden and started growing food with no experience. Still it went good! Here's what I learned:
The basics are as simple as 'if you put a seed underground and keep it wet, it's going to come out.' If you start off from that, even if you know nothing else, eventually you will succeed. The additional stuff is done to ensure success. The biggest actual issue of gardening isn't how, but when. When are you supposed to put all the seeds underground to get good harvest? For most of the plants, it can be as simple as 'Spring'. For others, it's very important just when in the spring you plant it.
Let's say you want to start your first garden, you want to plant some onions, lettuce, peas, green beans, tomatoes, peppers and zucchini. All of these can be planted in the spring! But these plants are sorted in 2 categories: Those who can survive a frost, and those who cannot. We call these 'frost hardy' (those who survive the frost) and frost-tender (those plants will die if they're exposed to lower than 0 temperatures). From the ones I listed, onions, lettuce and peas are frost hardy! It means you can plant them very early in spring, such as February and March, and they can be hit with snow and ice and be just fine. They can also be planted in autumn, and they only really start growing in the spring.
Green beans, tomatoes, peppers, and zucchini are frost-tender, meaning you absolutely can't grow them before the chance of freezing temperatures is gone. This is known in gardening as 'the last frost date'. Every area has a different last-frost date, so it's good to google yours to be sure you're planting these when it's safe to do so. For me it's mid-April.
Now, since it's a long time to wait for your plants to grow if you've only planted the seeds in mid April, people have found a way around it by planting the seeds in little containers inside of their house, or in a greenhouse, so they grow in a nice warm place on a windowsill, and are moved out in the ground when it's warm and safe. This is a very fun thing to do as you will have bunch of little plants growing in your home. Important thing to know about it is to use really light and airy soil, not garden soil, (you can use forest soil!) and to make sure you're not over-watering them and you give them as much light as possible.
Soil is another big thing in gardening, the grass grows so easily from it, but you can't exactly plant your seeds into the grass; they will get suffocated. For a long time people have tilled the ground to make it empty of all the weeds and easy to handle; however this isn't healthy for the soil, because it ruins the quality of top-soil, exposes it to sun and wind erosion, and it dries up very easily. Here are some beneficial methods of gardening: mulching and no-dig. Mulching means adding stuff like hay, straw, tree leaves, woodchips, pine needles on top of the soil. You're protecting your soil from sun, wind, erosion, drying out, and if your mulch is thick and dark enough, no weeds will grow in your garden. You are gardening by science.
So what does this mean for you, when you're standing before a patch of grass, thinking of turning it into a garden? You need to do this months before the actual planting, using time to your benefit is the smartest thing a gardener can do. You pick a patch of land and bring in everything you can on top: cut grass, hay, tree leaves you raked or found, straw if you have any, woodchips, anything that will stop the grass from growing. If you really want to build up your soil you can bring in compost too! All that organic material will eventually turn into compost and fertilize your garden as it degrades to soil. It's important to not mix it with the soil, and to only keep it on top of the plants. Mixing it will deplete the soil of nitrogen, and you need nitrogen to grow anything green. If you keep bringing in organic material for years of gardening, and on top of that put some compost as well, in 3-5 years your soil will become so rich and soft you will no longer have to use tools to plant in it.
But, hey, if it's your first time, you don't need to aim for perfection. If you didn't prepare your soil in the fall, whatever! You can still pull the weeds, dig around a little to make some clear soil, and plant your stuff! I've done this last-minute planting and it works just fine. Mulching and adding organic material is only the easiest, most scienc-y way to garden.
The next big thing in gardening is spacing and depth: how far apart should your plants be? And how deep to plant them? For depth, the rule of the thumb is 'twice as deep as the seed is tall'. But I've seen people pull various shit in this area and succeed so do what you want. As of spacing, I would also say, try out what fits for you. It takes a year of gardening to get a sense of just how big the plants get, and what would be ideal spacing for each of them. I decided only on my third year to plant tomatoes VERY far apart, because I realized in this case, one plant will give me more than 8kg tomatoes and it's much less work than planting 3 times as many plants that are close together. Peas seem to like to grow close tho, for some reason. Sometimes you can decide you want a bunch of tiny plants because you'll eat them young, so you don't space them on purpose, people do that with lettuce, leeks, spinach. If you want your plants as big as possible with as much yield as possible, give them half a meter and see what happens.
Fertilization is another big thing in gardening; if you add a lot of compost and mulch your garden consistently, you won't need a lot more; however there's a cool free trick you can do (if you're not currently sick): you can mix your urine with 10x water, and water your plants with that. And I really mean mix it with 10x water! Plants can get very fried by it and start to wilt if they're bombed with too much fertilizer at once! There are rules for this: use it when you want your plants to grow a lot of greenery, not if you want them to flower or produce fruit. This fertilizer is rich in nitrogen, and nitrogen inspires plants to grow more leaves! If you wanna fertilize them later in their growth, put a lot of nettle plants in a big container with water, leave it in the sun for 10 days; when it starts to smell real bad, it's ready. (you can also do this with comfrey). Also dilute it with 10x water! Don't use these fertilizers on bean or pea plants, or any legume, they don't like it.
Now I've given you so much info at once, you're probably struggling to take it all in, so here's a good youtube channel where I learned all I know: Roots and Refuge. If you watch this lady garden for long enough, she will tell you all of the secrets.
I remember being a first time gardener overwhelmed with worry; what if I fail, what if nothing grows, what if I kill all the plants, what if I have a black thumb, what if the plants die because I am stupid, what if I put all of this work in and get nothing, what if people make fun of me, what if I run into problems I won't be able to solve. Here are some of the answers to these!
A part of what you grow will DEFINITELY DIE. I can guarantee it, it happens to everyone, every single garden in the world has had plants die, sometimes for no reason at all, but in no case will EVERYTHING die. We all count on a part of our plants dying, becoming slug food, not doing well in general, and we always plant 30% more than we absolutely need. Even if you are personally responsible for killing the plants, the plants will not hold it against you! Plants appreciate you spreading their seed regardless of success, they understand that by trying multiple times you will eventually succeed and they absolutely want you to learn thru occasional failure. The answer is again to plant a lot, and it never ever happened that nothing came out of it. Most often, it's not going to be your fault at all. Sometimes the year will be good for tomatoes and carrots, and bad for peas. It's all okay! Because you just planted extra peas, and you'll get more tomatoes than you expected to have.
If you have the desire to plant food, you do not have a black thumb; the green thumb is in the heart that yearns to grow. You're not stupid if your plants die, plants die for everyone. And people are likely to come at you with million advice; listen to no one, try everything yourself. If they make fun of you, they're gonna look real stupid when you have home-grown food. Any problem you might run into while gardening is google-able! Or you can join a page of gardeners and they'll be happy to identify the issue.
The real main issue with gardening are slugs and bug-type pests, and that is a problem for another day because all I know to do is to yeet those away by hand and shake my finger very sternly at them. Hope this helps!
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malevolentshion · a month ago
mochi is scary but I love him not in a attracted way a attached way i reread tr and got attached to him it's funny cause I always made fun of him and thought he was hideous but now I'm here talking about how i love him he's so weird looking but in general he is amazing (not super amazing but) so many people hate on him and for what!? They say mochi is bad yet they either like Mikey or Sanzu [cry] i always favorite the underrated characters the most it's just something about characters that i can defend with my life are always my favorite, i love mochi a lot, i wish i knew more about mochi, i really wanna Know more about him.
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anyways enough of him let's start talking about shion!!
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AHHH look at him!!! I found a photo of him and the date was april 11 2020 and I'm really confused, moving on I just wanna talk about how cute his teeth are, I know that sounds weird but just LOOK at them!!! So cute >o<, i love him a lot!!! He's so pretty i always get so excited when I see him! I really hope he doesn't die what am i gonna do if he dies? i'll literally cry if he does, not even joking i wouldn't know what to think he's my #1 favorite character from anything i go on Twitter and pixiv for him everyday and if he does die than i would see angsty shion art all over twitter, these videos about him dying are getting out of hand like please stop talking about him dying it hurts my soul everytime someone says anything like that, i should stop thinking about him dying though anyways, i get super happy when he appears even the backside of him or even a tiny crumb is good enough for me anything about shion is good no, everything about shion is! I wish he had more official art other than those 2 he's in, i don't know what else to write since I'm pretty tired so i'll post about him probably tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. 😗
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findingjoynweirdstuff · a year ago
Dream SMP Recap (April 12/2021) - 72 Hours
Quackity takes a trip down memory lane, recounting the events that led up to his visit to the prison.
Karl Jacobs
Captain Puffy
- Ponk’s room in Niki’s city is decorated with posters of anime, his favorite people, pictures of Ponk and Sam next to each other, and his Enderman named Speed Wagon
- He wants to get a poster from both Foolish and HBomb
- Ponk waits at the Community House and Foolish boats in.
- Foolish notices Ponk’s stump, not knowing what it is at first. Ponk tells him that “Sam happened,” and Foolish replies that Ponk needs to get Sam out of his head. Ponk then tells him that he’s been taken into a communist cult, and that he’s missing an arm, and it oozes red stuff. Foolish freaks out.
- Ponk remarks that Foolish has a good sense of style, and he would like to commission something. He leads Foolish to the city. Foolish asks about his arm again, and Ponk says he’ll tell Foolish about it in time.
- Foolish says at least Ponk seems to be in good spirits. Ponk says that it’s because of the medication that Niki gave him. The salmon in his roof produces a drug that makes him happy.
- They mess around with the posters in Ponk’s room some. Ponk mentions that Sam took his arm, and Foolish is shocked. Ponk’s said too much. He wishes Foolish luck and says he’ll pay him well later before leaving Foolish to the room.
- Foolish says he knew Ponk and Sam were on rocky terms, but it’s a bit much of Sam to take Ponk’s arm...
- He puts a picture of himself in the shark outfit on Ponk’s wall and leaves to continue working.
Two shadowy hooded figures ride on horseback across the wilderness. 
There’s a third who rides a skeleton horse. 
They approach Eret’s castle from the direction of Antfrost’s animal sanctuary. As they ride down the Prime Path, sirens can be heard in the background.
There is a montage of Quackity going to the prison each day, rain or shine. The waivers are shown, and Quackity’s name is signed.
On screen, the day numbers are shown as Dream runs around the cell, punching the air.
It starts from 2. At day 16, Dream is in the respawn pool as Quackity approaches. The numbers go up to 29.
72 Hours before The Visit
- Quackity rows to a remote island, where he meets Awesamdude. Sam is confused at how Quackity knew about this place.
- Sam has been busy farming in a small patch of land to get away from things. He started not long ago.
- There’s a gravestone with a disc and a jukebox dedicated to Tommy.
- Quackity tells Sam that Tommy’s death wasn’t his fault. Sam disagrees, saying it was his responsibility.
- Sam shows Quackity his beach full of turtles and his horse
- Quackity tells Sam that he’s a very caring person. Sam shows Quackity his house. 
- Quackity then tells Sam that he’s not the only one who thinks Tommy’s death wasn’t his fault, but Dream’s. To accept that is the only way to move on.
Sam: “I could’ve done something, Quackity. I could’ve...I don’t know. I could’ve done something.”
Quackity: “No, you know what you could’ve done? You could’ve gone back into that jail cell and put a sword right through his neck. That’s what you could’ve done, Sam. That’s what you could’ve done to Dream. Because guess what, Sam? this isn’t the first time he does it, and this isn’t the last time either. Sam, look at me...the only way he’s gonna stop this is if you get rid of him, Sam. That is the only way.”
- Quackity says they should do it right now. They go back into the house and Sam activates a secret door with a potato, leading down into a basement full of weapons and armor. They head out in boats as Quackity encourages Sam to do it.
Quackity: “Feel that fury in your fucking heart, Sam, and know that’s all because of Dream. Let’s go. Let’s go, Sam. It’s all because of Dream.”
Sam: “You’re right! I couldn’t do anything! Dream would’ve killed him anyways if I had gone in there, there’s nothing I could’ve done!”
Sam: “I can just kill him! I can just murder him! He can’t get away, he’s stuck in there, he has nothing! He’s so weak! This is the perfect chance! I can just murder -- no one would even need to know that he died! I can just say he was still locked up there, I could -- yes -- you’re right, and if I kill him no one will die! I don’t want any visitors already!” 
Quackity: “Exactly! No visitors! No visitors, Sam! No visitors, no one’s allowed to see Dream ever again, it’s a secret between you and me, Sam...we’re not gonna tell anyone. As far as we’re aware, Dream is in that prison, and no one’s allowed to visit him ever again because he committed that crime against Tommy. Guess what? no one’s even gonna wanna see him, Sam, nobody! Because he killed Tommy, and everyone’s scared of him. But guess what? You and me, we’re not gonna be scared, Sam, because we know Dream is going to be fucking gone.”
Sam: “‘Cause he’s stuck in that cell anyway! There’s nothing he can do! We could kill him, and when he’s a ghost, I could go in and kill him again! And kill him again! And kill him again! And kill him again! And I can kill him a thousand times for the one death he gave Tommy!”
“Do you wanna come with me? You wanna help me do it? You can hold him down, and I'll chop his head off! We can kill him just like that, and there’s nothing he can do! Yes! He can just cry, and scream, and he’ll die -- I wonder if he’ll laugh now!”
- They reach the prison entrance and enter the portal. Quackity tells Sam that this is all for Tommy, and it’ll make him feel better.
- Before they can go through the defenses, though, Sam hesitates and starts having doubts.
Sam: “Quackity, we can’t kill him! That’s the whole reason we put him in here to begin with! Tommy trusted me to keep Dream in here! And now Tommy’s -- Tommy’s dead, I can’t do this to Tommy! Tommy trusted me, and he might’ve died, but that doesn’t mean we can let this happen! No, no! Tommy would want us to keep him locked up! The whole reason we locked him up was -- if someone else dies, Dream’s the only one who can do anything about it!”
“I can’t ruin what I promised to Tommy more than once.”
- Quackity says this is his chance at redemption, but Sam insists they can’t kill him. Quackity stops and then says he’s sorry he got ahead of himself. Quackity goes to leave, but then hesitates and goes back to Sam one last time.
- One way or another, someone will have to do it. If not Sam, Quackity. He reminds Sam that Tommy’s death wasn’t his fault.
Quackity: “Sam, before I leave...you gotta get it together. Las Nevadas will have no place for emotions, or for any personal ideas that you may have, or feelings, Sam. If you’re gonna be my business partner, you gotta do more than this. Understand?”
“I’ll talk to you soon, Sam.”
- Quackity leaves.
48 hours before The Visit.
- Quackity is speaking with someone. He thanks someone for giving him the spot, telling them that they can’t tell anyone about it. 
- Quackity is near Fundy’s house. He digs straight down into the ground, landing in an underground area made of nether brick. It’s an extensive series of hallways. Quackity has a bunch of TNT.
- He finds the Egg Room and starts putting TNT around the Egg.
- He notices Bad and Punz approach and backs into the area behind, brandishing a redstone torch. Bad warns him not to do it.
- Quackity tells Bad that he doesn’t need the Egg, he knows that there’s still a part of Bad that isn’t doing this, and that they can work together.
- Bad replies that if Quackity gets in the way of his mission, he won’t have anything. 
- Rat starts barking. Quackity says he’s doing this for Bad.
Punz: “Bad, don’t let this guy manipulate you.”
- Quackity shouts that he’s going to light it up and places more.
Quackity: “We’re all gonna go. I’m doing this for your own, Bad! I’m doing this for your own good!”
Bad: “You’re doing this for yourself, Quackity! I need this! I need the Egg!”
- Quackity gets Bad to order Punz away and keeps negotiating with Bad. He tells Bad that before the Egg, Bad was one of his closest friends, and in order for them to do great things together, Bad has to let go of the Egg.
Quackity sets off the TNT. The explosions go off, and the Egg turns to obsidian.
On one heart, someone slowly makes their way through the burning remains of the nether brick area, holding a single redstone torch as the Egg whispers. 
They stumble down the hall and the screen goes black.
24 hours before The Visit.
Quackity rides Boner down the Pogtopia highway.
He pauses at Tommy’s summer home, looking at the prison, and rides down.
- He notices George standing at the entrance, looking towards the portal. The two have a happy reunion. Quackity asks him why he’s here -- George says he’s just chilling.
- Quackity hasn’t seen George in ages. George is surprised by the scar on Quackity’s eye.
- He shows George Boner, who he has renamed to Ossium.
- He asks what George has been up to. It’s been ages since he’s seen George, Karl or Sapnap.
- Quackity tells George that he’s taken a break from El Rapids and has been working on a new project called Las Nevadas, a country full of casinos. An entertainment haven. He wants to set up a meeting with George, Karl and Sapnap about getting them all casinos.
- George asks, what about Kinoko Kingdom? Quackity doesn’t know what that is. George tells him, and says that Karl said he told Quackity about it.
- Quackity wasn’t told anything about this. He asks how long ago. It’s been a while.
- Quackity thought they had El Rapids going. It’s been hard to get in contact with them. George says he can still join.
Quackity: “I was working on this project, and I wanted to p-- no, no no, you’re...that makes sense. That explains so many things.”
- George tells him the direction that Kinoko is in. Quackity asks if they aren’t a part of El Rapids anymore. George says he supposes they can’t be in two countries at once.
- Quackity asks George not to tell anything to anybody about Las Nevadas. It will open soon, but he wants all the details to remain between them. As far as George knows, it’s just a country with entertainment.
- He says goodbye and leaves, telling George to say hi to Karl and Sapnap for him.
There’s a shot of Eret’s tower.
The Socializing Club and Purpled’s Walmart.
The old remodeled Community House.
The cobblestone version of Tommy’s house with the spruce trees around his land.
Skeppy’s original blackstone house with the three-door entrance.
Ze Haus.
The Spawn trap.
The camera pans up to a view of L’manburg, with blackstone walls, and the rebuilt Camarvan made of dirt.
The Elton John House and Space Program within the walls.
King’s Court.
It’s the Election Debate, Quackity and George arguing with Wilbur and Tommy.
- Quackity is out on a walk with Wilbur. He wants to know more about Wilbur. He asks why Wilbur has done the things he does.
- Wilbur tells him he wants protection for his people. Quackity asks to talk to Wilbur off the books. He wants to talk to Wilbur not as politicians, but people.
Wilbur: “Um, I mean I appreciate it -- No. The election’s in twelve days.”
- Quackity insists, and Wilbur says he’ll try.
- Quackity says he appreciates the Wilbur is trying to protect his people, and he doesn’t aim to overthrow him. 
Quackity: “None of this is about fighting to me. I think there’s just a big difference between you and me, and I like to see the good side on people. I like to think that there’s a side of everyone that is willing to work for wanting to see a better future for everyone, and I think that’s where you and I are very, very different.”
“See, when I got here, when I got to these lands, and I wanted to join L’manburg, I was told I couldn’t. I was told to walk away because I wasn’t allowed to join L’manburg. And to me, that was a lack of belonging. And if I have to become President and tear down some walls in order for no one to ever feel unwelcome again, then so be it. I do believe that everyone has a good side to them, and I do believe that everyone has something to contribute to the nation.”
Wilbur: “Your aspirations of optimism are not going to be subject to my nation’s security, I’m afraid. I -- I completely disagree with everything you said...”
“You say everyone has a good side, Quackity -- and you’re right. You’re right. Everyone has a good side. But that good side is only there to help themselves. If you’re really gonna help people, you’re gonna need power, Quackity. You can make a movement, you can make a resistance, right, you can go out and you can come back, and they’ll give you a ticket-tape parade. They’ll cheer for you in the streets, but you will change nothing. If you have a revolution, everyone will hate you. You will sacrifice everything, and you will lose everything you ever had, but you will come back and everything will be changed. And Quackity, if you wanna change things, you’re gonna need power. That’s what you really want, isn’t it. Look at me..”
“And power isn’t gained from diplomacy, and bureaucracy, and giant courthouses suspended in the sky, blah blah blah -- it’s gained from swords, Quackity. It’s gained from blades. It’s gained from steel. Iron. Even if everyone has this good side that you’re talking about, then anyone who wants to prove it has to show their dark side first. You’re going to have to kill. You’re going to have to torture. You’re going to have to maim. When I look at you, as a fellow outsider...you’re not ready for that.”
“I’m leaving.”
 - There’s a montage: 
Quackity watching as Schlatt destroys the White House the day he left to join Pogtopia.
The Mexican L’manburg Revolution, Quackity facing Dream outside Church Prime.
Dream destroying Mexican L’manburg.
Quackity facing Technoblade in the Final Control Room.
Dream and Quackity outside of Church Prime again.
“I understand that you -- that you wish to cause problems on the SMP, and that’s your number one goal. You are, by far -- you are the biggest enemy on the SMP right now.”
Present Day.
He’s at Wilbur’s resurrection shrine. There is a chest marked “For Wilbur.”
- Quackity writes in a book.
“My dearest friend, Wilbur...
You were right all along...
And I won’t make the same mistakes twice.”
- He signs the book “PROJECT NEVADAS” and puts it in the chest.
- Quackity rides off on Ossium and dons the black hood as the sirens sound.
- Bad sees the sign about concrete that Ranboo left at his house and assumes that it must be some sort of cryptic scavenger hunt. He and Skeppy go to try and figure it out by reading out the other signs throughout the server
- Skeppy eats part of Jonald
- Karl builds a Party Island in Kinoko Kingdom with Pokimane
- Ranboo gets a wither named Logan to mine for him
- Eret works on their fortress
- Captain Puffy does a late night stream and does some mining
Upcoming Events:
- The Red Banquet
- The Las Nevadas business opening
- Dream’s lore video
- Ranboo’s lore (April 23)
- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”
- Dream SMP’s one-year anniversary
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liliacvol6 · 11 months ago
POV: You’re The Hot Ex~ Bucky Barnes
This was inspired by a playlist I put together and I was full of “I’m hot as fuck, my ex is crying” vibes so I decided to write a lil something. 
No happy ending, unless someone wants a part 2?? I’d be down to write it, also if this is shit let me know because I want to improve my writing. Love y’all. 
“You sure you wanna go to Stark’s party tonight? Barnes and his new girl will be there.” Nat said, sitting on the bed next to Wanda. They both looked at each other, the break up was hard but what had been harder to deal with was when Bucky had a stream of females constantly coming in and out of the tower where you both lived. And then, one day, the sex parade stopped and only one of them continued to come and go. April, was her name. She thrived off of Bucky and his Avengers status, you hated her for obvious reasons and couldn’t understand why Bucky would want her. She seemed like a fine person, but your personal bias was too strong for you to ever be kind to her.
“It’s fine, I don’t need him to feel good about myself, who knows maybe I’ll hook up with Sam or Steve tonight to really rub it in that I’m over it.” You said opening your closet and trying to find a hot outfit. You couldn’t decide whether you actually wanted to seduce one of your friends to try and piss Bucky off or not, but you wanted to look sexy anyways. 
“Mhm, right. Well maybe you should wear red.” Wanda suggested, making you turn around 
“Why red?” You questioned, making Nat turn to Wanda as well, she shrugged and said, “Well I happen to know Bucky likes that color on you.” You rolled your eyes, but turned around and started looking for your favorite red dress. Not to impress Bucky of course, but to look sexy in a dress of his favorite color and have him die knowing he can’t take it off of you.
You were standing in the hallway waiting for Wanda to finish getting ready, Nat had already gone down saying she was going to grab drinks for the three of you, while you waited for Wanda. Wanda came out in a gorgeous black dress, you whistled at her 
“Get out, you’re the one who looks absolutely sexy.” You winked at her, looping your arms together you waltzed to the elevator to head down to the party. 
It took everything in you not to scan the room and look for Bucky, so instead you looked directly to the bar. Nat was behind it filling her own drinks, you guys made your way over to her and noticed Steve sitting there chatting. 
He turned when Nat yelled hello above the music. “Wow, you ladies look amazing.” He said handing glasses to you and Wanda. Nat’s expression faltered a little and you soon found out why when Bucky and April approached the bar and sat next to Steve. You didn’t even look at him, you just took a sip of your cocktail.
“Jesus Nat, this is strong” You exclaimed laughing a little.
“Oh my god, I love strong drinks, right James? When we went on our first date that was something we bonded over.” April said laughing. You could picture her hugging his arm and you wanted to roll your eyes. But you looked up at smiled at her, “that’s cute”. You made eye contact with Bucky and tried your best not to show any kind of emotion. The breakup had been incredibly difficult and your tried your best to not show how hurt you were whenever you were around Bucky. He said he couldn’t worry about hurting you physically so instead he just decided to dump you on a mission instead. 
Sam came over, already drunk, and wrapped his arms around your shoulders and gave you a kiss on the cheek. 
“D.A.M.N. (Y/N) you are the hot ex, for sure, Buck don’t even look over here you’ll just regret your decisions” He said, making you smile silently and Wanda slapping Sam. 
“Sam...” Steve started to say, but before he could lecture you turned to Sam.
“Thanks, I’d love it if you danced with me right now. Yanno, since I look so good, it would be a shame if I just sat around all night.” Sam nodded and you led him onto the dance floor.
In truth, your heart was ripped out of your chest every time you saw Bucky. Especially the times when it was in the hallway and he tried to smile at you, but you just couldn’t do it. You tried your best to dance with Sam but you weren’t feeling it. You had to try your hardest to get over Bucky, so you tried to let it go. Just forget the pain, let the alcohol flood through you and now your goal was to try and fuck Sam. Just to get over the man who broke your heart.
It was the end of the night, you spent a lot of time dancing sexily with Sam, only spotting Bucky and April once during your dancing. Bucky had made eye contact with you, you winked at him. At that point you had been wasted, it wasn’t an act anymore you were wanting Sam more and more, he was right. You were hot and ready to move on. Well, that’s what the alcohol haze was telling you.
Now you were sitting with Nat drinking water to make up for the mass amount of alcohol. 
“You and Sam are getting pretty friendly” She said taking a sip of her drink, you shrugged your shoulders.
“Yeah, well gotta move on eventually.” You stated as you looked up and scanned the room, she snorted
“Right, that’s why you keep scanning the room for your ex?” You immediately took your eyes off of the room and turned to her. “Oh, shit, neverm-” You interrupted her by spilling your inner thoughts out. You were with your best friend and couldn’t hold back your emotions. You had them locked up since the break up and they just came flooding out.
“I’m so fucking sad, I want Sam sure for a one night stand because I keep telling myself it’ll make me get over him. But I know it won’t. I love him, I never fucking told him I loved him. We fought the day we broke up and I was going to tell him and then I didn’t and now I want to get over him but I just don’t know if I can.” You spilled your feelings to Nat, something you normally would not do if you were sober. Nat wasn’t speaking, she had reached out while you were talking and grabbed your hands. In your drunken state you thought it had been a grab of endearment 
“Uh, hi” You heard a female voice, you turned thinking it was Wanda but it was April standing there, with a red face and Bucky behind her holding a plate of cookies. “We came to offer you cookies, Bucky said they were Natasha’s favorites.” She said grabbing the tray from Bucky and placing it on the table. Bucky was staring at the ground and you got up and faced April.
“I’m sorry, I’m drunk, I didn’t mean anything I said honest-” Before you could finish, April slapped you across the face. “What the fuck?” You yelled grabbing your face. Bucky grabbed April and pulled her away from you.
“What the fuck was that?” He asked her, Nat got up and came next to you.
“You broke his fucking heart and then have the audacity to say you love him? really? When he is finally happy and in love again? We exchanged I love you’s already. Clearly if you loved him you would have told him.” April spat at you from Bucky’s arm. He looked at you with a horrified expression, you gulped in air. You didn’t know what to say. They already said I love you to each other? You were heartbroken.
“We’re leaving.” She said, grabbing your hand and leading you out of the party. 
You got to the door and hit the elevator button when you started to cry. 
“Wait, (Y/N), Nat!” You turned and saw Bucky,
“Great, fucking great” you said looking up at the ceiling and trying to stop the tears.
“Please, can I walk you to your room?” He asked, you knew he was looking at you, but you had turned away and didn’t want him to see you cry.
“No, Buck, go back to April. Make sure she’s fine.” You said quietly. You got into the elevator and when the door was closing you finally looked up at him. He had silent tears in his eyes.
“(Y/N) please, I love you too” He pleaded, the elevator door closed and you turned into Nat and cried hysterically on her shoulder. 
Part 2 has been posted: https://liliacvol6.tumblr.com/post/653548607607275520/pov-youre-the-hot-ex-part-2 
Love you all xoxo
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wwx-lwj-ai-ni · 5 months ago
Okay, here's my follow-up to this post because it was getting too long to be tagging onto someone else's reblog:
May 1st is one of my favourite filming days and roughly 70% of that is because they sang five Avril songs that day 😂
(CPN/etc at the bottom of the post)
I've teased GG before about being a fan of angsty teen girl music, but it turns out that DD led the charge on this hahaha
Chain of events:
GG says "arigatou!" in response to something on set, which makes DD start singing that Hello Kitty song
they both start singing I'm With You as seen in the original post's clip, but...
the clip cuts off before my favourite part, which is that GG starts talking about something while DD is just in the zone continuing with the next few lines until he realizes GG is talking to him and stops mid-sentence at "take me by the ha-" (hand) with a cute little squeak in his voice
They then immediately launch into My Happy Ending
Later while DD still has that song stuck in his head, GG sings out "I need you now..." from Innocence
Then they also sing/hum Skater Boi because of course they would. DD continues humming (not exactly but doing 'doo-doo-doos' to the tune) it while his makeup is getting touched up and GG is nearby chiming in from time to time.
Other "important" things to note:
There's something I find so funny about them getting into their little Avril songfest on the first non-April day of filming lol
This is the same day they filmed the scene where WWX and LXC are talking and LWJ shows up with Emperor's Smile, which includes one of my favourite bts moments: the XZ/WYB/LHK trio of idiots interaction that starts with "Hey bro, wanna go to die?" and ends with them laughing about how LHK looks 30. GG tells DD that he called LHK "ge" the first time he texted him and LHK was like "I think I'm younger than you?" and of course DD cackled at that because he is a well-established gremlin.
CPN/fake/fiction/ENTIRELY my own interpretation of things from the evening:
if there's any truth to the "300g" transcript, then this seems to be the night our two favourite dummies came to some kind of understanding.
The whole "why does LWJ want to make WWX happy?"/"because he likes him" interaction screams I'm-not-out-to-you-yet-and-am-trying-to-figure-out-if-you're-gonna-be-a-dick-about-it to me. It's just something that I think probably every queer person can relate to at some point in their lives.
Also, DD has that cute "bye bye 🙌" moment (while the other two continue filming the convo scene) and is away from set the next day, and when GGDD film together again on the 3rd it's noticeably flirtier. (May 3rd includes an "oops the camera caught me playing with the sword" moment, as well as DD repeatedly calling GG cute, and a return of the hello kitty song haha this time started by GG.)
So my personal interpretation/CPN is that sometime between the night of the 1st and the day of the 3rd, they came out to each other (most likely on that 1st night). Throughout mid-late April they were kinda shy/awkward and slowly getting comfortable with each other. They goofed around and obviously got along by May 1st, but I think that night scene outside with the emperors smile is the first time we see GG be flirty (he winks at DD to try to throw him off during a run-through, then laughs about it with LHK) and after that basically the flood gates opened for the rest of filming lol
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mde1011 · 8 months ago
when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them
how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”
⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”
⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”
⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”
⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”
⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”
⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”
⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”
⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”
- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”
⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”
⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”
⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”
⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”
⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”
⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”
⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um
<tommyinnit> boobed
<sapnap> kill you
<tommyinnit> boobs
<sapnap> if this happens
<tommyinnit> think about boobs man
<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy
<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED
⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”
⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”
⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”
⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”
⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”
⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”
⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”
⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”
⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”
⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”
⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”
⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”
⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”
⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism
⁃ “please stop taking the cock”
⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”
⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”
⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”
⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”
⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”
⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”
⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”
⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”
⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”
⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”
⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”
⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”
⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”
⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”
⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”
⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”
⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”
⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”
⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”
⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”
⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”
⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”
⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”
⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”
⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”
⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”
⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”
⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”
⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”
⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”
⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”
⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”
⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”
⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”
⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”
⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”
⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”
⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“
⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”
⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”
⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”
⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”
⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”
⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”
⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”
⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”
⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”
⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”
⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”
⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”
⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”
⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”
⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”
⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”
⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”
⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”
⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”
⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”
⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”
⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”
⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”
⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”
⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”
⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”
⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”
⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”
⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”
⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“
⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“
⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”
⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”
⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”
⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“
⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”
⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”
⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”
⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”
⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”
⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”
⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“
⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”
⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“
⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”
⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”
⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“
⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”
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peppersteakss · a year ago
so... you wanna know the dream smp lore as of dec 19th, 2020
you have come to the correct place
the dream smp in a nutshell (somewhat)
ok so despite the server itself starting in april, the lore doesn’t start until wilbur joined in like june. the basics are that wilbur tommy and tubbo started a drug business and that didn’t sit well with dream sapnap or george bc it was their server, so tommy tubbo and wilbur (and eret came in at some point) decided to separate their land on the server and call it l’manberg. they built a wall, they had their own national anthem. this again upset the dream team. eret then gets revealed as a traitor and causes everyone in l’manberg to lose their first lives. (there’s a 3 live rule for almost every character in the smp, the only exception being philza - he only has 1) eret did this in order to become kind of the server. then dream bombed l’manberg after wilbur tried to negotiate with him. at that point, independence for l’manberg was no longer looking like an options
then came an agreement between tommy and dream, they’d duel for l’manbergs independence, but if dream won he’d take one of tommy’s music discs (why the discs are so important? i literally could not tell you). dream won, taking tommy’s second life. and somewhere in there fundy enters the server as part of l’manberg, and starts all the weird family dynamic stuff
here’s a little tangent on family dynamics in the smp:
philza is the father of techno and wilbur (twins), and it’s confirmed their mother is a samsung smart fridge. he also fathers tommy, who’s mother is unknown, and tubbo, who’s adopted - his bio parents unknown, but there’s a really popular theory going around that schlatt is his bio dad
wilbur is the father of fundy, and fundys mother is apparently a fish - sally the salmon. it’s complicated, at some point the idea of sally being a shapeshifter was brought up but never confirmed
back to the lore, tommy came back on his last life and then negotiated with dream for the independence of l’manberg and in exchange he would give dream both of his discs (again, i have no clue why they’re so important to him but they play a huge part in his character) so with that, the war between l’manberg and the dream team was over. l’manberg wrote a decree of independence, officially exiled eret, then started a government - tommy was assigned treasury of the state and later the vice president, tubbo was the secretary of state, and fundy was just wilbur little champion. wilbur took the title as president
jack manifold then joined the server and l’manberg, dream begged him to join the dream team but he stayed with l’manberg. then tommy, jack, and tubbo decided to cause chaos and get revenge against dream for the destruction of l’manberg and for tommy to get his discs
there were a few minor events in between the war and the election that i don’t really deem that important, the most notable thing is that quackity joined the server. but if you’d like to read about the events - they’re on the wiki! i’d also recommend keeping up with the wiki because the plot moves very fast, and the wiki is a good source that always keeps track of everything that happens and just the members individually! there’s also a channel on youtube that uploads the vods of every member but only their smp streams, it’s just called dream smp members vods (if you’re at all interested in watching this rather than reading it)
we now get into the election. a lot of people weren’t really happy with wilbur as president and they weren’t taking him seriously, so wilbur tried to fix this by holding an election that originally he thought only he could win. quackity then formed his own party to run against wilbur, thus leading to SWAG2020 (quackity and george) vs POG2020 (wilbur and tommy). later joining the election would be Coconut2020 (fundy and niki nihachu) as well as Schlatt2020 (it was just schlatt). this was a real poll left up to the viewers, and Schlatt2020 ended up winning as for some reason his results were supposed to be combined with SWAG2020s results - together they had 46%, just 1% above POG2020 - so Schlatt was now president of l’manberg. (despite only joining the server once the campaigns had started and almost ended). schlatts first decree was to exile wilbur and tommy from l’manberg - he then kept tubbo as secretary of state and demanded he hunt tommy and wilbur. it’s also worth noting that he ordered the walls of l’manberg to be destroyed. this ends the l’manberg independence arc as a whole (yes all of that was one single arc) as l’manberg was renamed manberg by schlatt. (one last thing worth noting is that wilbur lost a life during the election, so he only has 1 life left)
this then starts the manberg rebellion arc. this is actually the longest arc at the moment as it lasted for almost 2 months(sep 22nd-nov 16th), but the next arc is still ongoing so that could change. also it’s now important to note that important events always happened on the 16th, so if you plan on ever watching streams live, you should always try to catch any that happen on the 16th.
wilbur and tommy created yet another independent part of the smp called pogtopia. other members of pogtopia were technoblade (who had just joined the server) acting as a mercenary, and tubbo, the pogtopia spy. this then caused another split of the server, and dream became part of pogtopia but only in secret. there were also third parties, that being manifold land and the badlands.
a festival in manberg was announced, and tubbo was supposed to give a speech and organize the event. this then caused wilbur to question his morality, and this sparked the idea that wilbur should blow up manberg for good, tommy didn’t agree with this, and dream sided with wilbur simply because he wanted schlatt gone. tommy and tubbo then decided they could only trust each other (THATS IMPORTANT PLEASE REMEMBER THAT)
the festival happened on oct 16th, where tubbo was outed as the l’manberg spy, techno was then ordered to kill tubbo (which he did, causing tubbo to lose a life and bring him down to one life) but he then basically caused a massacre in manberg. niki then joined pogtopia in hopes to save manberg with tommy and tubbo while wilbur and techno planned to destroy it. wilbur originally had plans to blow up manberg at the festival, but was unsuccessful as he lost the button he was supposed to use in order to do so
quackity was removed from his spot as vice president, then joining pogtopia. then an ultimatum was established within pogtopia - deal with schlatt, or wilbur blows everything up. that did not stop wilbur from attempting to blow up manberg yet again at nikis birthday party but was stopped by quackity, karl jacobs, and niki. the ultimatum was then given a deadline, november 6th.
quackity tried to meet with schlatt, who had tried to blow manberg up yet again only for schlatt to reveal that he moved the tnt wilbur put in manberg to pogtopia. fundy then revealed he’d been spying for pogtopia in secret - and wilbur began to realize that under schlatts leadership, NO ONE was on manbergs side. except dream who then revealed he actually was going to protect manberg for some reason idk dreams motivation and just dream in general is really confusing, but regardless he negotiated war with pogtopia, and the decided date was nov 16th
schlatt ended up dying of a heart attack in front of everyone in pogtopia, leaving the presidency to tommy, who then handed it to wilbur, who then handed it to tubbo. wilbur took this as his chance to blow up l’manberg, as in his eyes it would never be the same. philza then joined the server and tried to stop him, but he was unsuccessful. wilbur then convinced phil - his own father in canon - to kill him, and he did, causing him to die in all actuality this time as that was his last life.
techno then caused another massacre right after wilbur literally blew up l’manberg because he was angry that l’manberg was just replacing one dictator with another, and set two withers. he swore that he would destroy any government that rose in the dream smp. (i actually recommend watching wilburs video on this event, it’s his most recent dream smp video and probably his final as his character is dead now. techno also tells the story of theseus and he explains it much better than i can, and the role of theseus does play in later in the lore)(it’s also just a fucking cinematic masterpiece but maybe that’s just me)
that ends the manberg rebellion arc, and so starts the l’manberg retribution arc (which is still ongoing) and although the last arc currently stands as the longest arc, there’s much more lore in this arc at the moment. like i’ve said, the lore just moves very fast
the remaining citizens of l’manberg start to rebuild with the help of ghostbur, which is just as he sounds - the ghost of wilbur. he only remembers happy memories from his life and generally just likes to follow people around a lot, he’s not on anyone’s specific side. also somewhere during all of this, eret decided to adopt fundy, so eret is now in this complicated family dynamic mix
quackity was angry with technos actions and started ‘the butcher army’ so he could take techno down, despite tubbos wishes to not start any more wars and to keep l’manberg peaceful, and also the factor of technoblade now having nothing.
dream along with captain puffy started defacing and destroying the sever as a whole and placed all of the blame on tommy. most notably he targeted skeppy and badboyhalo in the badlands (who for some reason have one of tommy’s discs). dream left a fake note about the disc, which is what let to the belief that tommy actually did commit these crimes.
on nov 19th, a funeral was held for schlatt, to which the crowd who attended made fun of him and celebrated his death, and trying to cause trouble (basically quackity made a piss portrait of schlatt and ate his heart) the rest also took pieces of schlatts body. he was put to rest in the side of a mountain outside of l’manberg
badboyhalo actually encountered the grieving of him and skeppys houses done bg dream, promising to burn tommy’s discs. everyone else was finding out about “tommy” greeting bad, meanwhile quackity was replacing schlatts remains with fucking glass, trying to resurrect him - he then gave this task to awesamedude, but whether or not he’s going to do it is still up in the air
ranboo then joined the server and became close with tommy, and they both george’s george’s house. this caused dream to build and obsidian wall around l’manberg, and then everyone found out tommy grief led george (which is not a good look for the vice president (tommy is the vice president btw)) and this is when the idea of exiling tommy came up. tommy was then brought to court simply because dreamed wished to see tommy get exiled for things that he didn’t even do
a lot of stuff happened but i’m really trying my best to keep this brief, again you can read the wiki if you’d like more detail! it’s a great source of information! but in the end the decision to exile tommy was left to a twitter poll, it was close but the winning option was to exile tommy
before tommy got exiled, there was the introduction of mexican l’manberg also known as el rapids. in el rapids, a lot of conflict happened with dream, and at this point it really seems that no one is really on dramas side (which like rightfully so dsmp!dream is fucking horrible)
still before he was exiled, tommy brought up the idea of waging war on dream because it seemed that really everyone in l’manberg was against him. there was even the idea of getting people outside of l’manberg involved (like techno, sapnap, bad, etc). tubbo then had dream escort tommy out of l’manberg to his exile. he’d just betrayed his best friend, the person who he agreed was the only one he could trust, which confused a lot of people because it was almost a last moment decision - but apparently it was the only logical thing to do (bs imo) but then tubbo agreed to work with quackity in killing technoblade
dream stayed with tommy often while in exile, and they stayed together for about 11 days with occasional visits from ghostbur. dream was very violent towards tommy during all of this, threatening to kill him if he didn’t do as he said, blowing up an old house tommy and tubbo built, and saying that he could /never/ go back to l’manberg. tommy actually began hiding important items from dream so that he wouldn’t destroy them, as that was a common thing as well - he’d make tommy drop all of his items to dispose of them for good. there was one item he’d never drop, though, and that was a gift from ghostbur - it was a compass that pointed to the whitehouse in l’manberg called ‘your tubbo.’ similarly, tubbo also has a compass called ‘your tommy’ that pointed to logstedshire (the place where exiled tommy and dream would stay)(‘your tommy’ was destroyed, most likely by dream, and even though tubbo got a second one - tommy doesn’t stay in logstedshire for long)
dream unfortunately found out about this as well, and the. disposing of all of his hidden items. and after 11 days of experiencing all of this with dream, tommy left to find somewhere much safer, ultimately deciding to make a burrow under technoblade and philzas house, as no one in the smp except them had known its location.
he thought he could stay hidden but techno found him literally the next day after being hunted by the butcher army that quackity had built, and being ordered for execution in l’manberg only to be saved by a totem of undying and escaping l’manberg through the sewers with the help of dream. (it’s worth noting that philza was also captured, is now on house arrest, AND was almost forced to watch another one of his sons die right in front of him) and guess when all of that happened???? DEC 16th. also everyone in l’manberg now thinks tommy is dead and they’re planning a funeral for him because they saw some sort of explosion debris that somehow links to tommy(i think it was blown up logstedshire)
techno and tommy then formed an alliance in order to get back technos stolen items (the butchers from l’manberg took everything) as well as rescue phil, and to get tommy’s disc back. i’m doing this, techno revealed a secret room that no one but himself knew about prior, revealing to tommy a room full of wither skulls and a full set of netherite armor, uttering the fucking ICONIC line ‘welcome home, theseus’ and therefore referencing the last big event, showing that tommy has made progress since then (at least in the eyes of technoblade)
so tommy stays with techno with more visits from ghostbur, and visits from dream - although tommy has hidden during both of his visits with invis potions. techno is set on protecting tommy now, and tommy is still struggling with trying to separate himself from dream. the first time dream visits it’s with techno, and techno convinces him that tommy isn’t at his house. dream also points out that techno owes him a favor bc he saved him in l’manberg. the second visit is when ghostbur was there, and ghostbur slips up quite a lot when interacting with dream. dream reveals he knows tommy isn’t dead and that he’s with techno somehow, and i think that’s just about it
one last thing worth noting is that this story is almost always looking at the fans for inspiration and has included a lot of fan theories into the canon (techno and wilbur being twins, and most notably the ‘welcome home, theseus’ line) so i’d highly recommend in participating in fan stuff as much as you can! there’s also just a lot of creative people in the fandom if you stay out of the weird side lol. but with that, i think that’s about all of the lore as of now
(i wrote all of this from midnight to 3 am so i am so sorry if i forgot things and i’m sorry about spelling mistakes)
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dramaism · 4 months ago
every month of 2021 —post your favourite or most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months)  
thank you so much for tagging me jp @deokmis  and hannah @cuddlybitch :3 it’s always so fun and joyful to look back to the year of giffing. this year was very special to me - i’ve giffed the most out of all years on tumblr.
i think i’ll pick both favorite and the most popular set!
january: absolutely love this run on fate set. and the most popular one (surprisingly) seo mun’s character set from the uncanny counter
february: i wanna marry this run on set with cool lettering it’s absolutely gorgeous. i can’t believe i made that. the most popular one is this true beauty set, sls is real... i guess (this is also my most liked post of the year).
march: hong cha young supremacy!!! her first character set is my most favorite. and the most popular one - the 8th march set with women from kdramas.
april: i made only 4 sets lol. most lovable - second hong cha young set! the most popular - this funny vincenzo set. it’s funny not only because of the scene but because i’ve spent like 15 minutes on that and it has received a lot of notes.
may: oh, boy here they come - doom at your service and law school. it’so hard to pick just one but this law school lyrics set is one of the best sets i’ve ever made. so i’m choosing that. the most popular one - this vincenzo final compilation set.
june: i absolutely love this tdoby confession set and this law school set with the gang’s future careers. the most popular one - doom in love set from days.
july: the only time in this post when my most favorite set also the most popular one - this compilation with secondary couple from nevertheless.
august: i’d marry them both - run on and beyond evil letterbox reviews sets. the most popular one (and honestly i’d marry this one too huh) - be and tdj parallel. again made it in like 15 minutes.
september: aka homcha month. i really love all bickering sets but i’ll choose this drunk hye jin set. that was so fun to make!!! and the most popular set - hong du sik in love.
october: aka homcha month 2.0. absolutely adore this “back” set. and the most popular one - compilation from ep 16. 
november: oh, what do i do? i love all happiness sets. okaaaaay, i’m choosing this one funny set with emojis. the most popular one of course from bad buddy - pat being the best boyfriend when they’re not even dating yet.
december: i’d die for this set and this coloring - “noona” set from happiness. the most popular one - patpran being domestic husbands.
whew, what a ride! i’m tagging @epiphanjins @ingukk @yohankang @zhoufeis @yeo-rims @damn-salvatore @nanons @taeminie @kdongyoung just ignore me if you have been tagged already or don’t wanna do this :3
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effiethebookworm · 10 months ago
TSE Appreciation Week Day One!
Hurrah, my first TSE Appreciation Week is here!! I have been preparing since late May, and I am almost done with all my fanfictions! Here is the first one. It is called Heirloom, like the theme for today. It uses both the Heirloom prompt and family dynamic prompt, even though the Shephards aren’t my favorite family. It was my first ever attempt at choose-your-own-adventure, and it turned out...decent, I think.
In this Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Fanfiction, you are a young Prince Joshua of Cedulan. That's all you really need to know for now, so enjoy!
“Come on, Granpappy!” your oldest daughter Aphera yells from on top of the hill that you and your father are climbing. “Don't you want to sled with me?” Your father, King Amnon, chuckles.
“I'm coming, Aphera. Remember, patience-” she interrupts him. “Is a virtue. I know, Granpappy.” Amnon leans heavily on his cane as he walks.
“Would you like to stop for a moment, Father?” you ask.
“No, no. Aphera needs me.” Although he's only fifty-three years old, many years of ruling the kingdom of Cedulan have taken their toll. His beard is almost entirely gray, and his face is covered in wrinkles. He is tired more and more, although his eyes always twinkle when he plays with his granddaughters. Adara pulls on your gloved hand.
“Up,” she says in her quiet but insistent voice. You scoop her up and put her on your shoulders.
“Walking in the snow is hard, isn't it?” You ask. You crane your neck to see her nod her head vigorously. You are all at the top of the hill now. Aphera is constructing a snowman. Adara pulls on your ear, her signal for down. You reach up and grab her tiny hands.
“Ready?” you say. She squeals in response. You yank her forward, off your shoulders and swing her onto the ground. Aphera, watching, exclaims,
“I want a turn, Daddy!” Amnon interrupts.
“I thought you wanted to sled!”
“Weeeeeelllll, I guess we can sled now and do horsie rides later.”
“What's sledding?” Adara says.
“Here, Dara, I'll show you!” Aphera sits down on the sled. “Daddy?” You walk over and give her a push. She flies down the hill, whooping and calling. Adara's eyes grow wide with jealousy.
“I want to, Daddy!” she whispers. “Wait until Aphera comes back. You can sled with me then.” Aphera trudges up the hill, panting, sled in tow. Her woolly dress, coat, stockings, boots, hair, and even eyelashes are caked with snow.
“I almost hit a tree, but I didn't!” she proudly announces. “Adara, you wanna go with me?” Before Adara can respond, you tell her,
“Since this is her first year, I think she should only go with adults.” Aphera frowns. Amnon walks over and says,
“You can go with me next, after them.” You grab Adara's hand and walk with her to the sled that Aphera dropped into the snow. You plop down in the back, plop your boots firmly into the snow, and tell her,
“Sit here, in the front.” She does, and you hand her the reins of the sled. “Hold on tight to these.” You release your boots, and push off. As you gain speed, you see a wide grin spread on Adara's face. You go over a small bump, and are airborne for a moment. Adara laughs. You are very surprised. Adara has only laughed three times before in her life. As you slow to a stop at the bottom of the hill, she rolls off. She giggles while you grab the sled, sit her on it, and start pulling it up the hill. Her giggles eventually stop, and as you reach the top of the hill, you hear a scream from Aphera.
“Granpappy!” You sprint up the hill with the sled behind you. Adara, quickly realizing that she is extra weight to pull, rolls off the sled and starts running beside you. She is surprisingly fast for a three-year-old, almost keeping up with you. As soon as you reach the top of the hill, you see what made Aphera scream. Amnon is lying on the ground, his face contorted into a grimace. Aphera is standing over him, hysterically sobbing.
“Granpappy, Granpappy, wake up!” You shake him.
“Father. Father, speak to me.” He moans.
If you tell the girls to run for help, and stay with your father, go to 2.
If you try to scoop him up and take him to the palace yourself, go to 3.
“Adara, Aphera, run home as fast as you can and tell the doctor to come here now.”
“But-” Aphera says, but Adara clasps her hand and starts running towards the palace. You put your hand directly in front of his mouth and nose. His breathing is fast and shallow. You look him over. No blood, no signs of an injury. You feel his forehead. Normal temperature. Please, you pray, let the doctor come quickly. At this, you hear the sound of a galloping horse.
“Help!” you yell. “The king is ill!” The horse and rider come up the hill.
“Prince Joshua, are you al-” the rider sees Amnon on the ground. “My King!” You are annoyed.
“Yes, and he's ill. I need to get him to the palace as soon as possible.” The man considers this. “Put him on my horse. I can sit behind and make sure he doesn't fall.”
“Thank you.” You manage to get Amnon onto the horse, and he is quickly taken to the palace. You grab the sled (Adara would be devastated if it was stolen) and run to the palace.
If you check on your daughters and then your father, go to 4.
If you check on your father first, go to 5.
You start to panic. What am I going to do? An idea strikes you. You roll your father onto his back. He groans softly.
“Hang in there, Dad.” you whisper. You grab him under his shoulders and knees and hoist him up. You stagger backwards for a few steps, startled by his weight. Muscle is heavier than fat, you remind yourself, and he was quite fit.  You start walking down the hill, slowly. You hear Aphera crying behind you, but you can't turn around. Suddenly, you slip on the now-icy snow. Thankfully, Amnon lands on top of you instead of the ice. You get an idea.
“Adara, bring the sled to me, please.” She arrives momentarily with the sled in tow. You roll your father onto it, grab the reins, and start pulling him.
“Tell me if he falls off,” you direct Adara. She grunts in response. As you jog over the snowy hills, the palace slowly gets closer. You are out of breath and sweaty now, and you almost collapse when you reach the gates. A guard with an elegant fur cloak greats you.
“Prince Joshua, how are you?”
“King Amnon, f-fell and needs-needs a doctor.” you manage to pant out. The guard notices your father on the sled, and shouts something. Suddenly, ropes fall from the turrets above you, and two more cloaked guards slide down. One of them pulls a tiny key from inside her jerkin, and uses it to open a hidden door next to the drawbridge. The other guard opens his arms and faces up. You are confused, until a large object drops from the top of the building and the guard caught it. He unfolds it, and you see that it is a stretcher. The guards put him on it, and carry him through the secret door and into the darkness of the palace. You are in shock, both from your father's collapse and the complete preparedness of the guards. You knew that all of them were medically trained, in case of an accident, but you had no idea that they were this good. You quickly remember that you left Aphera and Adara behind. You turn around and see them a few feet behind you.
“Girls, why don't you go to the nursery. I'm sure Mother is expecting you.” They nod, still sniffling, and the guard escorts them inside. You stand there still, almost unable to move.
If you check on your daughters and then your father, go to 4.
If you check on your father first, go to 5.
As you open the door to the East Wing of the palace, the familiar smell of the Christmas Feast hits you like a mace. The memories of past feasts with your parents and siblings, Isis, the girls. This will be April's first, you think. And possibly Father's last. You manage to get to the royal suite, and into the nursery. As you open the doors, Aphera and Adara rush to your side. Good, they managed to get back.
“Daddy, is Granpappy alright?” Aphera asks. You manage to smile and say,
“I'm sure he will be.” Isis stands up out of the rocking chair, holding April. She hands April to Aphera.
“Girls, why don't you take April for a walk?” Aphera's face brightens a bit.
“Maybe we can teach her how to walk.” You can feel a headache coming on.
“She's only two months old, Aphera. There's-” Isis elbows you.
“Well, you can try. But don't drop her.” They walk out of the room, and you collapse into Isis' arms. She leads you to sit down, and you fall onto the bed. Your throat hurts because the tears won't come. Isis sits next to you.
“Aphera told me what happened. Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” you whisper. “I am a grown man, the crown prince of Cedulan. Feelings are below me.” Isis frowned.
“You were happy when April was born, right?” You nod. “And angry when King Bhatair called you a royal pinnacle of idiocy?” You groan. “Well, those are feelings too. And if you can enjoy happiness and indulge anger, why do you refuse to cry?”
“Weakness,” you hiss, barely making noise. Your throat is throbbing now. “I cannot show weakness to anyone, ever. Not when I'm in battle, not at home, not even alone with you. Weakness is the mark of a coward.” Isis stands.
“The true coward is the one who is afraid of his own feelings. I'll leave you alone.”
Go to 5.
You walk through the halls of the vast royal suite towards your father's room. The last time you had been there was four years ago when your mother died. She had been bloodily assassinated by a man with an ax. He still hadn't been caught, and you sometimes had nightmares about him. As you reach the door to the atrium for your father's room, you notice a few nurses ducking in and out of the door, murmuring to each other. You open the door to the atrium and the doctor greets you.
“Good afternoon, Prince Joshua.” Skipping the pleasantries, you say,
“How is my father?” The doctor's face falls.
“I am afraid that he has suffered a heart attack. He will die very soon, probably this week.” Oddly, you don't feel sad. Just.... numb. Like you are completely detached from the situation. Like nothing exists anymore.
“Oh,” you hear, and realize that it was you. “May I see him?”
“Yes.” The doctor opens the door and ushers you in. The room is rich, filled with deep purples and blues, satin and mahogany. A very old man is lying on the bed. You realize that it is your father. He turns to you.
“Hello, Joshua.”
“Hello, Father.”
“I'm sorry I spoiled your outing with the girls.”
“No, Father. Don't apologize. It isn't your fault.” He smiles slightly.
“I want to give you and the girls and Isis some presents, for Christmas.”
“But Christmas is in two days. Why not then.” He smiles again.
“Please bring them, as soon as you can.”
“Yes, sir.”
Go to 6.
“Granpappy, are you okay?” Aphera asks as soon as she sees Amnon. He deftly changes the subject.
“How would you girls like your Christmas presents a few days early?” He asks. Aphera claps her hands. “Yay! Presents!”
Two servants come out of the corner, each holding a small stack of presents. Amnon takes a large one off of the top, and hands it to Aphera. She quickly tears off the paper, and opens the box. Inside are a small assortment of items. On top are a pair of boots, made of supple black leather with golden buckles. They are a bit too large, but you can easily tell that she loves them. She tries them on happily.
“They're beautiful, Granpappy!” “They're a bit large, but you'll grow.” His eyes glow at seeing her so excited. She picks up the next item, a silver locket. She opens it, and inside is a tiny, yet amazingly lifelike painting of her and Amnon laughing together. She gasps.
“The locket belonged to your grandmother's mother, and I had the painting made.”
“It looks just like me and you!” Aphera says with wonder. She puts it on carefully.
“I'll wear it every day.” She picks up the next, and smallest item. It is a tiny key that you have never seen before. “What is this?” she asks. You are wondering the same thing.
“There is an old Cedulanian custom that before a king dies, he passes on this key to the oldest child of his oldest child, unless that child is over the age of fifteen, in which case it should be passed to the next youngest sibling. Joshua,” he says, now addressing you. “I am sorry that I couldn't pass the key to you. I truly wished to, when you were a boy, but the tradition must be followed.” He turns back to Aphera. “This key unlocks one door in the palace. When you find it, use what you find there well. It will help you, if you know what to do.” He winks at her, and she giggles. You notice what Aphera didn't, that Amnon acknowledged that he is dying.
“Thank you, Granpappy. I love you!” She climbs onto his bed, and wraps her little arms around him.
“I love you too, Aphera.”
He gives her a pat on the head, and announces,
“It's your turn, Adara.” Adara steps forward, and receives a smaller box. She carefully unwraps it, and folds the wrapping paper into a neat square. She opens the box, and stares at the contents inside. She pulls out a thin book, and murmurs,
“What is this?”
“This is a journal, cursed by your great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother Melete Dolan to never run out of pages. It has been used by many before you. When you learn to read, read it and let the wisdom of your forefathers and foremothers guide you. Someday, you will also write in it, and pass it on to your children. I gave it to your aunt when she was a girl, but she died as a child.” His eyes cloud over, remembering a painful past. Adara opens to the middle, and a hair clip falls out. It is studded in tiny amethysts and onyx. She holds it up to the candlelight, and the room is instantly filled with tiny rainbows and shimmering light.
“That,” Amnon says, “has belonged to every middle daughter since Alla Jamiese, Melete Dolan's fourth daughter. It belonged to my mother,” he takes a deep breath, “Antigone Shephard.” Everyone in the room except April gasps. It is taboo, though not forbidden, to utter the name of Antigone Shephard. You are shocked. Your parents named you Joshua only because they wanted to break the a-name tradition to distance themselves from Antigone. You had heard rumors that they had wanted to name you Adam, but were too stubborn. Your father continued.
“Adara, that hairpiece holds much history of powerful women. There is a legend that the clip itself holds characteristics of its previous owner. I beg of you, always be careful. Do not allow Antigone's mark to hold power over you. You are young now, and you will forget my words.” He turns to you.
“Joshua, Isis, remind her when she is older.” Adara interrupts.
“Granpappy, if it is so dangerous, why are you giving it to me?” You are shocked. Adara has never uttered a sentence this long before.
“My dear, the legend also tells of the reversal of power. If it is true, you will have the power that Antigone used for evil. You can, and must, use it for good.” Aphera nods, and you pick her up and put her on the bed. Amnon kisses her gently on the forehead, and she smiles. She jumps down on her own, and Amnon beckons for Isis, still holding April, to step forward.
“April. Little April, you will not remember me. So I leave to you my Collection.” Your eyes widen. Every member of a Levantine royal family, Cedulanian, Bellingwrathe, Amethystie, Desdemonian, and so on, has a Collection. Every collection has an object from each year of the person's life, usually on a theme. It was a tradition that the Collection was buried with you, so this was highly unusual. Amnon pulls another box off of the pile and hands it to you. You start to open it, but the king stops you, saying,
“No, Joshua. Let her open it on her birthday.”
“Which one?” you ask.
“The second one after she learns how to read. I left her a note in there. I wish for her to read it herself.”
“Yes sir.” You bow.
“Isis, this is for you,” he says, picking up a tiny box, the last from the pile.
“Thank you, Amnon.” she says as she opens it. She gasps. “Oh Joshua, look!” Inside is a ring, a necklace, and a bracelet. They are all made of pure gleipnir, the most valuable substance on all of Elladess. Amnon chuckles.
“Yes, that is the Queen's Jewelry.” Isis frowns.
“But I'm not-” “You will be soon.” Amnon smiles sadly. Isis side-hugs him. You notice her eyes are watery. Come to think of it, so are yours. No emotion. No sadness.
“Joshua, it is now your turn.” The king shifts in bed, and pulls something off of his belt. Your heart starts to race. You've been waiting for this moment all of your life.
“Prince Joshua of Cedulan,” he says, “I, King Amnon II of Cedulan, now present to you the Silver Eye, cursed by your ancestor Melete Dolan. Use it well, wisely, and mercifully. Never bring it into Nedarian buildings, or use it for evil. Do you promise that you will uphold these rules?”
“I do.”
“Do you promise to hand it down to the next heir to the throne when you die?”
“I do.” Your father pulls out a long, purple and silver telescope from a small leather pouch, and bids you,
“Kneel.” You do, and you hold your arms, bent at the elbows, above your head. He places the telescope gently into your hands. The metal is cool, and the telescope is the perfect weight. Lighter than a broadsword, but heavier than a sabre.
“Rise, Prince Joshua, rightful owner of the Silver Eye. You have taken the oath, and it is now yours.” You slowly rise, and your father sits up and ties the case around your waist. Then he falls back onto the pillow, tired.
“Thank you, Father.” You say. “You are tired. We will leave now.”
“You are welcome, my son.” Amnon says exhaustedly.
“Goodbye, Granpappy.” Aphera says, and Adara waves.
“Farewell, my girls. I love you very much.” You herd the girls out of the room, and back to your family's suite. You go down to the kitchens and ask for dinner to be brought up to you while Isis helps the girls into their nightgowns and robes. You return and eat, and then put the girls to bed. You and Isis then go to bed too, although you cannot sleep. You lie there for hours, thinking.
“You can't do him any good by not sleeping.” You are startled.
“I thought you were asleep.” You tell Isis.
“Goodnight, Joshua,” she says.
You take her advice, and fall asleep quickly.
Go to 7.
As soon as you wake, an attendant is by your side.
“Sir, I am sorry to inform you that your father passed away in his sleep.”
“What?” Your mind is foggy from sleep and you don't understand.
“Sir, your father died in his sleep. You are the king now.” The servant is down on one knee. “My king.”
Isis murmurs something next to you.
“Isis. Wake up.” you almost say, but decide to let her sleep. You wish that you could have. You will never be able to again. You kiss her on the forehead, and silently slide out of bed.
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remmushound · a year ago
Bay/rise 46!! @errorfreak88 @brightlotusmoon @digitl-art-monstr @selfindulgenz @dakotafinely @yarchurr @sprinklestheditty @sententiously-sarcastic
Content warning! Mentions of death and suicide
Shredder was fighting with everything he had to free himself. He thrashed around, spinning as much as the tight containment would allow. If anything, he looked like a housecat in a carrier on its way to the vet. The families from both worlds gathered around the containment, much to Shredder’s furious frustration as he tried to slash himself free, but the containment held firm.
“Release me at once!” He snarled, pressing his muzzle to the clear door that didn't quite look to be glass; it had a more pinkish tint, like everything else in this place did.
Mikey and Raph looked at each other, and then looked at Shredder. “NAW!”
“April!” Leo ran to O’neil’s side as she finally removed her disguise, then looked beside her with a more confused look when he saw Casey. “Casey? How are you here— how are you breathing?”
O’neil opened her mouth to show what looked like gum on her tongue. “The other Donnie made these.”
All eyes fell wide on Donatello.
“What? I had a few hours while Leo was coming up with a plan.” Donnie shrugged, “They’re just prototypes. You can keep the rest if you want— I got a dozen more of the things.”
“But how did you—?”
“It’s easy! You mentioned that they shouldn’t be able to breath in here and i figured it was because of the weird properties of the air, but clearly we could breathe here, and so could my April so I took swabs of all of our mouths and then I took a swab of their mouths, compared the differences, and isolated the isotopic signatures that they didn't have and applied that knowledge into creating a gelatin-based supplement, and I gave their bodies a few hours to process the change, and then tested it by putting them near Leo’s rift where the atmosphere’s of both places merged and they were doing just fine so I deduced that my genius worked and we followed through with the plan. Any questions?”
“Several.” Mikey raised his hand.
“Write em down when we get home and I’ll answer them then.”
“Hey— you ain’t got yo uh… shell thing on.” Raph commented when he came behind Donatello.
“Yes— it didn't work with the plan. I needed to make him think I was Leo. Colored lenses, man I tell ya, they’ll change the world! My battle shell’s back home so I’d really like to get back there like ASAP because I am feeling highly anxious right now.”
“For a second there I didn't even think your plan would work.” Leo laughed weakly and shook his head, “Good idea using Draxum!”
Leonardo didn't answer.
“Leo? Donatello asked.
Leonardo walked closer to the containment cell and placed his hand on it, staring in at the tortured figure of his brother. The creature was Shredder in both mind and body, no doubt about that. The armor, the metal ribs, those sickle claws were all Shredder! But the plastron, and those baby blues eyes belonged to Raphael and to see them on someone else— something else— made Leonardo incredibly sad. He wondered if Raphael could still hear him…? Maybe not. But Shredder certainly could, right?
“Can you hear me?” Leonardo whispered to the tank; his eyes locked onto the blue ones just beyond the barrier.
Shredder gave a low rumble and lowered his head to meet Leonardo’s gaze.
“You can, can’t you? I know your name…”
“I am the Shredder…” Shredder rasped quietly.
“No you’re aren’t. The armor is Shredder. I don’t know if you’re him anymore since you swallowed my brother, but you used to be Oroku Saki.”
Shredder visibly flinched at the name, snarling and pulling his head back into his armor as far as it could go. “Don’t say that name…”
“Why? It is your name, isn’t it?” Leonardo asked, “I know it because Draxum told me. He was just a kid back then, but he knows the stories. The stories of the great and noble Oroku saki.”
“What is he doing?” Leo almost snarled, but Draxum held out a hand for silence.
Draxum watched with the utmost curiosity, his eyes shimmering like rubies as he observed Shredder's reaction to every word being said.
“You led the Foot Clan over five hundred years ago, right? Your clan lived in peace, and you learned from the kappa. They taught you ninjitsu and you brought it back to your Clan, didn't you…?”
Shredder gave the lowest grunt. “I remember. I met them when I was young boy playing by the river. I gave them an offering of cucumbers, and as a thanks they gave me my first lesson.”
“I knew you remembered.” Leonardo said, his heart sparking at the implications of what it could mean, “I knew it! Your clan was so… honorable until a great evil came to your land, and you couldn’t fight it off. Do you remember what the evil was…?”
Shredder gave an evil roar and tried to charge the door, though he couldn’t get much of a running start to do any damage. Leonardo held his hands up in peaceful surrender.
“Don’t wanna talk about it! Completely understand!”
Shredder settled back down quickly.
“You must be in so much pain.” Leonardo shook his head slowly as he touched the glass. “Saki… all you wanted to do was protect your clan, and now you’ve had to fight this dark armor for… for years. You… you’re so tired and— and you can’t fight anymore and that's okay! You’ve been fighting for five hundred years…”
Shredder brought the nose of his armor to touch where Leonardo’s hand was, his eyes still watching Leonardo in a quiet observance.
“You don’t have to fight anymore— at least not alone! But Raph… if you can hear me, I need you to fight harder than you ever have. Please… if you d… don’t… then I’ll have to destroy you and I don’t think I can…”
Leonardo rested his head against the door, the coldness of the chamber like sweet relief from the heat of his body.
“I know it's still you in there. I can see your eyes! And I need you to fight this, because if you don't then you’ll destroy me because I can’t destroy you. And then Mikey and Donnie, our baby brothers… they’re gonna have to watch both of us die. Heh…” Leonardo laughed weakly as he wiped his eyes, a wavering smile trying to take hold of his face. “You hear what I said? Baby brothers. Donnie’s older than me, I know, but… it just felt right. Silly Leo huh?”
Shredder didn't answer.
“And not just them. Our father… our sister… our new friends. They’re gonna have to watch it happen. They’re gonna have to watch us die… so I need you to fight this. Please.”
Shredder stared, his eyes like icicles piercing through Leonardo like knives. Still he said nothing. He didn't move, hardly breathed. He just stared.
“Raph…” Michelangelo’s weak voice rasped suddenly, and Shredder snapped his attention to look at the approaching box turtle. Michelangelo was fiddling with his hands in front of him, his head low and eyes wide and sad. “Hi. It’s Mikey. Can you hear me?” He touched the door just as Leonardo was. “I really really want you back. I miss you.”
Shredder stared intently at Michelangelo. Michelangelo looked to Leonardo with a soft whimper, but Leonardo waved him on gently.
“D… do you remember when we ordered that Lou Jitsu video game and… and I really wanted to pick it up all on my own? You were so scared that I would get hurt, because I’m… little and stuff. I’m your baby brother! But even though you were scared, you still eventually let me go? And… when I did get in trouble like you said I would, you didn't yell or shout at me or anything. You just… gave me a hug and helped me! You didn't try to say you told me so even though you did tell me so. Do you remember that?”
Shredder gave a low rumble.
“Raph…” Donatello’s voice came this time, just as straightforward as ever but with a new, gentler tone to it if that were possible. “Do you uh… remember Mrs.Cuddles?”
Shredder gave a sharp growl and pulled back.
“Take that as a yes.” Donatello cleared his throat, “You know how it was my dumb idea for April to bring the doll over in the first place? Just to scare you like a jerk of a little brother?”
Shredder leaned closer once more.
“You… forgave all of us for it… even though it was our fault that the thing nearly killed our family and all of New York? That was pretty cool of you.”
“Red Rover?” This time it was April’s turn to approach, “You’ve always been a good big brother! I remember back when y'all were still eating dumpster scraps and I’d bring y'all snacks any time I could swing it with my parents. And every time, no matter how many snacks I brought, I never seen you eat one cause you were always too concerned with making sure your brothers got something that wasn’t gutter trash.”
Draxum stepped up. “When Michelangelo er… was helping me to change my ways… you hated me. Absolutely despised me, for good reason. I had done terrible things up until that point. Yet… when your brother orange begged you to give me a chance, you did. You didn't trust me, but you trusted him, and you gave me a chance. I thank you now…”
“And when Draxum threw me off a building and I could’ve gotten really hurt you… you dove right down after me. No hesitation, no panic. Just straight down after me and… and you caught me. I was being so obnoxious that day too.”
“My son… My Raphael…” Yoshi was the last to step up, his ears pressed back against his head as he smiled at the Shredder’s eyes. “I remember when you were small enough to fit in my hands. Oh, you were such a fussy baby! I would always sing you and your brothers the same lullaby my grandfather sung to me. You remember how it goes?”
Shredder didn't respond.
“I would hate babysitting beyond the Bon Festival. The snow begins to fall and the baby cries…”
The pupils of Shredder’s eyes dilated, filling almost the entirety of the dark space.
“How can I be happy even when Bon Festival is here…? Unwillingly babysitting thinking of days after mid-summer Bon holiday. The flurry of cold snow continues… and a baby repeating cries. Even come Bon holiday, what is so joyful, no clothes and no sash for attire. The baby is so irritable to cry. That baby’s crying annoys me. Babysitting for a whole day, or even more. Every day I grow thinner. Wishing to get back home in a hurry across the border. That’s my parents' home…” Yoshi gave the softest laugh as he finished the lullaby and wiped his eyes clear of tears. “Oh, how you all loved that song. I… was in a dark place back then— so resentful of where my life was. But you boys helped me more than I could ever thank you for. If there hadn’t have been the need to take care of you, then I… wouldn’t be here today. I would have… done something cowardly. But I’m so glad I didn't. So please, my son… Raphael… let me help you.”
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wellimaginethat · a year ago
Quite the Scare
Pairing: Matt Casey x (female) Reader
Requested?: Yes
Word Count: 2083
Author’s Note: Another Matt request! Yay! I love him
Trigger Warning(s): Injury, near death, mention of an argument, a child is injured as well (but saved)
Disclaimer: I don’t owe nor am I affiliated with any of the Chicago shows, I just like to play with the characters
Summary: Y/N and Matt have been dating for about a year and have been living together for a few months. One night they have the biggest fight of their relationship and Y/N leaves and goes to stay with a friend. A week later, while she’s working, Matt is rushed in to the hospital after being severely injured.
Y/N = Your Name
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You couldn’t even remember what started the fight. Just that it started and quickly spun out of control. You remember running out of your shared apartment and that Matt didn’t try to stop you.
You went to your best friend’s house, showing up in tears. She swore that she was gonna kick his ass and was halfway to the door before you managed to stop her.
Sarah comforted you and told you that you could stay with her for as long as you needed.
Only problem was that you didn’t grab anything.
You knew when Matt’s next shift was, so you went to grab some stuff and then went back to your friend’s house.
A week passed by and you hadn’t heard from Matt, which made you worry. You two had been living together for nearly a year now, and things were going fine. Sure you fought every once in a while, but it was usually nothing. And nothing like this ever happened. The two of you usually cooled down and made up, but this time was different.
You knew that maybe you shouldn’t have run out, and at first you were just too proud to go back, but now you were too heartbroken. It had been an entire week and he hadn’t come to see you, or called you, or even texted you. Maybe he didn’t love you anymore.
You pushed those feelings aside as you got ready for another shift at the hospital.
When you got to the hospital, however, you were immediately plagued by the feeling that something bad was going to happen. You could feel it in your stomach.
Hours passed and everything was fine, and then the ambulance showed up. You were immediately greeted by two patients being wheeled in from a fire, a man and his young daughter, with her being in the worst condition.
You could hear him pleading with anyone who would listen to save his daughter, and your heart hurt.
You rushed over to help, but then your eyes landed on the firefighter being brought in behind them. Your heart sank, and the minute you recognized who it was, it broke completely.
You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
You tried to catch your breath.
Pulling yourself back to reality, you knew that you couldn’t tend to him given your relationship, so you headed over to one of the other patients. “Let me know his condition asap.” You told Connor before disappearing, off to operate on the little girl.
You forced yourself to focus on what you were doing and to keep your mind off Matt, but it was hard to do.
Somehow you managed to go about your job and finished the surgery, ultimately saving your patient.
As soon as you were done, you walked out of the OR and you were met by Connor standing there. Immediately you felt a pit in your stomach as your eyes met his. “Is he-”
“He’s alive.” Connor assured you.
You let out a breath you didn’t realise you had been holding.
“He’s in critical condition though.” Connor added gently, knowing how worried you must be.
You swallowed hard. “Do you think he’s gonna be okay?” You asked timidly. “I want your honest opinion.”
Connor watched you for a moment, he knew you were a smart doctor and that you would figure it out eventually, but he still hesitated. “The next twenty four hours are crucial, but overall he’s in good condition, all things considered.”
You swallowed hard again and nodded.
As soon as you could you went to see him, he looked bad. You slowly stepped into the room and over to his bedside. Gingerly, you picked up his hand and very gently stroked the back of it with your thumb.
He was unconscious and intubated, and you knew that he most likely couldn’t hear you, but that didn’t stop you from talking to him.
“God, Matt.” You breathed out, tears stinging your eyes. “What happened to you?” You asked quietly, looking at his face. “I’m sorry about the fight.” You spoke after a moment. “I shouldn’t have left, or I should have at least come back, but I wanted you to chase me. I know that sounds so immature and stupid, but it’s the truth. I wanted to know that you still wanted me.” You sniffled and a few tears trickled down your cheeks. “I love you and I still want you, so please don’t die on me.” You begged. “Please, I’m not strong enough to lose you.”
You stayed there as long as you could, sitting in that chair next to his bedside, until Connor came in.
“You should go home and get some rest.” Connor told you gently, his hand on your shoulder.
“I can’t leave him.” You said monotonously.
Connor shook his head. “It won’t do him or anyone else any good with you being here and not getting any rest.”
You sighed, you knew he was right, so you nodded and stood up. You didn’t wanna leave Matt, but you knew you should try to get some rest. You leaned over and kissed Matt’s forehead. “I love you.” You whispered to him before turning and walking out. You stopped by the nurse’s station. “If Matt Casey’s condition changes in any way, I want to be notified asap.” You informed them in a polite but firm tone. You were met with a few nods before you finally left.
You went back to the apartment you shared with Matt and it just felt so cold and different. You were worried you’d be met with your stuff packed up by the door, but you weren’t, everything was the same.
The first thing you did was take a shower and change into some comfy sweats and a t-shirt that would work for bed, but also stuff you wouldn’t mind being seen in public wearing in case something changed in Matt’s condition.
After your shower, you decided you’d better eat something which is when you went to the kitchen and found the post-it note on the fridge.
Y/N- If you come back and I’m not here, please wait for me. I want us to talk and work this out, I love you and I miss you. Love, Matt
That was enough to cause the tears to spring to your eyes again, and next thing you knew you were on the kitchen floor crying your eyes out.
You didn’t know how long you were like that, whether it was five minutes or two hours, all you knew was that when your phone rang and you sprung up to get it, your body was stiff with fatigue.
You answered your phone quickly, worried. You were greeted by April’s voice telling you that Matt was awake.
“I’ll be right there.” You hung up after saying that and hurried to the door to put your shoes on, you were at the hospital in record time and rushing in.
When you walked into his room, you paused at the door seeing the others there with him.
“Hey guys, why don’t we give them a minute?” Herrmann spoke up, shifting his stance before beginning to herd the others out. They all looked at you, but you were too focused on Matt to register their feelings behind them, until Herrmann finally headed out and gave you a gentle, caring smile.
You returned it before slowly walking into the room and over to Matt’s bedside. “You know the limit on visitors is only two people, right?” You asked, chuckling softly, you were trying to use humor to ease the situation, since the last time the two of you talked you were screaming ‘go to hell’ at him. “Then again, I know how they are. You guys are a tight knit family, so I’m not surprised they were here with you.”
“I was told that you had to be kicked out.” Matt spoke out, his voice quiet and even, a little hoarse from being intubated.
“You seem to be doing much better than you were when I was here earlier.” You commented, chewing on the inside of your cheek a bit, fiddling with your hands.
“Y/N-” Matt started, causing you to look at him. “I’m sorry about the fight.”
You let out a relieved breath. “I am too.” You said softly, taking a seat on the edge of his bed and picking up his hand. “And I’m sorry for leaving like I did.”
Matt’s eyes met yours and he just stared at you for a moment. “Will you come home?”
You smiled softly and nodded. “Yeah.”
Matt smiled. “Can’t believe it took me almost getting killed to get you to come back.”
“It didn’t.” You shook your head. “It just took you asking me to come back.”
He looked at you in shock then. “All I had to do was ask?”
You nodded. “Pretty much. Neither of us were innocent in the fight, but neither of us were completely at fault either. All you had to do was ask me to come back, let me know that you wanted to work things out.” You said softly. “But, I could have done the same. I could have let you know that I wanted to work things out too.”
Matt nodded slowly.
You fell silent for a moment, staring at his hand in yours. “I found your note.” You said softly.
“You did?” Matt asked softly, knowing that meant you had already gone back to your apartment, which made him happy.
You nodded. “I did.”
“I put it there right after you left.” Matt admitted with a small smile. “I really have missed you, so much.”
“I missed you too.” You said softly, gently squeezing his hand. “How are you feeling?”
“Happy.” Matt answered you.
You looked at him. “You know what I mean.”
“Sore.” Matt sighed.
“You gave me quite the scare, what happened?” You asked softly, not sure you wanted to know but at the same time feeling like you needed to.
“I got distracted.” Matt told you. “A beam fell on me, knocked me out and then the next thing I know, I’m waking up here.”
“You got distracted?” You asked softly, raising a brow.
“We were getting ready to pull out and I heard a child.” Matt told you softly.
You gasped, eyes widening.
“She’s fine, they got her and she’s fine-”
“I know.” You cut him off softly. “She was my patient.”
Matt smiled at you. “So you’re the one that saved her.”
“It was a team effort, if you hadn’t heard her, she wouldn’t have been brought in for me to save.” You told him with a soft smile.
He returned the smile. “I’m glad she’s okay.”
“Me too.” You agreed, nodding.
When Matt was eventually released, you drove him home to recuperate. It didn’t feel weird being there this time, the coldness seemed to dissipate and was replaced with the warm, inviting feeling you always felt. It felt like home again.
“So where did you go when you left?”
“Sarah’s.” You answered. “She wanted to kick your ass, by the way.”
Matt snorted. “Of course.”
“Although she said the universe did that for her.” You laughed a bit. “She’s glad you’re okay and that we’re okay.”
Matt smiled and pulled you over to him. “We’re more than okay.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss you gently.
You pulled back slowly. “Don’t scare me like that again, please.”
“I’ll try not to.” Matt told you.
You were both aware that it would most likely happen again, but you knew that when you started dating and you learned to deal with the worry.
“Good.” You responded after a moment, kissing his cheek lightly before moving to the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” Matt asked, quick to grab you again, his arms wrapping around your waist.
“The kitchen to make us something to eat.” You responded.
“Let’s just order in, I’ve gone too long without you in my arms.” Matt responded as he placed a tender kiss to your neck.
You giggled softly and turned in his arms. “You need to rest.”
“I will.” Matt responded with a smirk.
You looked at him for a moment before smirking back. “So what are we ordering tonight? Pizza?”
“You can pick.” Matt told you.
“Well I obviously want pizza.” You responded with a small laugh, your arms wrapping around his neck as you leaned in for another kiss.
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waka-chan-out · 10 months ago
No i don't think u understand meg. Your smut are my kind of smut. And also I didn't realize that it was u who wrote the "what, do u like him" bc that was like one of my early smut read for kita and it's one of my absolute faves. It actually took me quite a while to accept some nsfw for him bc of how much I basically revered him in my head. He was everything I aspire to be and thus I looked up to him very much before falling madly deeply in love w him hahahahahahahaha. 😂
Also, ur dom reader fics *chef's kiss* beautiful. U made me embrace this hidden side in me. Hahahahahahhaah. Whiny and whimpering boys are a sight to behold.
I don't mind if you recommend some more dom reader
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thank you that makes me so happy 😭 i’m glad you found your way back to me because “what, do you like him?” is one of my absolute favorite fics i’ve posted on here. i understand completely what you’re saying about kita though. there are a few characters that i have a hard time reading for the same or similar reasons.
THANK YOU. that’s my goal. i started this blog to inject some more dom reader content into the mix of haikyuu content and i’m glad people are getting on board. boys are prettiest when they’re begging and that’s the hill i’m choosing to die on.
i—do you want dom reader recs from my content or other people’s ?? because if i’m honest i don’t read too much on here i mostly just interact w my mutuals and post. my darling @april-avenue has some GREAT dom reader blurbs if u wanna check their stuff out. otherwise i’m very willing to link a bunch of my dom stuff if you need it 👉👈
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wormstacheangel · a year ago
What are the best episodes with Castiel to watch?
Hello! Sorry, this took me a while to answer but here you go! If I miss some it’s cause I don’t remember anything or I was just Bleh about it.
Castiel Epiosdes
4x01 ICONIC 
4x20 Jimmy is important to Cas and I love him. 
4x22 ICONIC Greenroom. Cas picks a side aka Dean.
5x03 Cas and Dean being friends! Gay panic is real my friends. 
5x04 THE END. “It's the end, baby. “
5x13 “Sam is my friend.” 
5x14 Cupid (He made a cameo video it was cute) and Cas eating raw meat off the floor.
5x16 “You son of a bitch! I believed in-” OWW
5x17 Drunk Cas.
5x18 At this point he’s just done with everything. So he just carves, YES CARVES, an angel banishing sigil into his own chest. He does not hesitate.
Season 6 is good for Cas because the whole time he’s apart of a civil war and is just a terrible liar.
6x06 I am trying not to make this list about Destiel but the scene where Cas pours Dean’s drink. 
6x10 Pizza Man.
6x19 Baby in a trenchcoat aka leader of the heaven rebellion but sure Dean. He’s just cute. 
6x20 ICONIC 
6x21& 22 Both show that Cas is slowly realizing that he is not in control. 
7x01 The whole episode is wild but Cas just going to heaven and saying I’m Daddy now really takes the cake. (not the actual words he used.)
7x02 Cas’s death #3?
7x17 MISHA -- OH um, I mean CAS to the rescue lol
7x21 His cute little laugh! Honey!Cas has my heart and soul. Bonus Destiel: “ When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!” RIP Hester Queen
7x23 “Cursed or not.” Also his little smile when he asks for the plan ahh!
aka all episodes in s7 with Cas in it is worth watching.
Okay, I’ll try to control myself now but watch all of s8 cause its beautiful.
8x02 We see Dean’s POV to the purgatory portal scene. Also, hear Cas’s reason for leaving Dean.
8x07 We see Cas’s POV of the purgatory pov scene. Also, learn how Cas escapes purgatory. 
8x08 “I’m gonna be a hunter.” He’s so CUTE!
8x10 Cas needs a hug. Please.
8x17 ICONIC. “what broke the connection?” AHH
8x21 Badass Castiel
8x22 & 23 Castiel wants to do good. He wants to help but he just puts his trust in the wrong people. It hurts me so much. Look he’s just a small child and he is dealing with a lot right now. 
Season 9 Cas looks good. Like fanservice time father of two!
9x01 First look at human Cas!
9x03 I can’t watch this ending again. It’ll make me spiral. But it’s a good human Cas and destiel episode. Also, fuck April. She gross. 
9x06 ICONIC BLESSED jilted lover. 
9x09 He looks good.
9x10 “I prefer the word trusting. Less dumb. Less ass.” They are both dumbasses.
9x11 Sam & Cas chaotic vibes
9x14 Cas storyline with the angels starts or at least makes it more clear idk
9x18 Gabriel! Also, “Damn it, Dean!” and Cas accepts his role as a leader. The angels are dumb. 
9x22 Sam & Cas dream team lol Also, Cas picks Dean over heaven again.
9x23  “--and for what again? Oh, that's right -- to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right? Well, guess what. He's dead, too.”
10x01 Cas draped across the bed like a victorian lady waiting for her husband to come back from the war
10x03 You know that scene where he’s lying on the floor bloody and dying and the Crowley saves him. And then Cas glows and heals with grace and he’s glaring up at Crowley? You know that scene. Yeah. Bonus: I’m gay and bloody Hannah is also hot. Small tip: Ignore the creepy/gross Hannah and Cas set up the writers are trying to do. They are siblings. 
10x09 Claire! That’s his daughter!
10x10 Claire and Cas make me cry.
10x14 Deleted scene of “Maybe he’s your boyfriend.” 
10x17 Sam & Cas! They are best friends, you guys!
10x18 Charlie and Cas meet! AND THEY ARE ALL HAPPY AND I CRY
10x20 Claire! Cas get’s her a birthday present, grumpy cat stuffy, and she keeps it! And I cry. And she saves him. And she cares about him. 
okay 10x21 cause of Charlie and Cas but also fuck this episode. Charlie deserved better. 
10x22 ICONIC gosh damn it. I-
10x23 Just for backstory for Cas in s11. Our poor boy can't catch a break. 
I worked on this for two hours now Nonny and I don’t even care. I miss Cas.
Season 11 hurts my damn soul because of Cas. I won’t include Casifer, though it was A LOT of fun to watch him.
11x01 “Dean, did it work?” I wanna hold this poor sad madly in love man. 
11x02 I can’t handle the torture. He looks so sad.
11x03 Bless you director, Jensen Ross Ackles.
11x04 Okay, not a lot of Cas but I love this episode. 
11x06 They don’t talk about his trauma but they show us a little when he tries to leave the bunker. And I cried. Once again. Let. Me. Hold. Him. 
11x10 Ambriel glad you are dead cause you were SO rude. Also, Amara girly, queen, I love you but apologize. Stop being mean to Castiel.
11x22 Cas get’s to talk and that’s nice
11x23 “I can go with you.” Sir, you just came back from being possessed by THEE satan and now you are ready to die by your future husband's side. You need therapy. 
Okay, I stopped watching live after season 11 because of the way they treated Cas so these next seasons I binged watched ( a couple of times) but wasn’t apart of the fandom so it feels like I didn’t fully grasp them. But here we go!
12x01 Cas meets his mother-in-law. Also the little, “Dean!” when he hugs him. 
12x02 Cas and Mick :)
12x03 Agent Beyonce and Zee lol Cas and Crowley and should have had a sitcom 
12x08 Cas gets a text (angel radio) that he’s gonna be a Dad and it looks like when Alice had a vision of the Volturi in Breaking Dawn Part 2 lol
12x09 Let me hug Cas! He’s sad over his family being gone. Also, Mary, I love you but I don’t forgive anybody for being mean to Cas. All the Winchesters are on thin fucking ice with me. 
12x10 ICONIC destiel. Cas in a female vessel. 
12x12 ICONIC “I love you. I love all of you.” 
12x19 Worried husband Dean. Excited soon-to-be father Cas.
12x23 Cas dies (again) from child birth.
Watch the first few episodes of season 13 for the famous widower arc cause wtf they gave us THAT. Also, I don’t care for the other world storyline so I pushed that out of my head. 
13x04 Cas annoying a cosmic entity. Fun fact! I dislike the trenchcoat cause it looked so stiff and the color was off idk didn’t look great but Cas looked beautiful when he looks up at the sun! Ah!
13x06 ICONIC BROKEBACKNATURAL Also, Jack and Cas meet and I cried damn it. “I missed you.” That’s his son!
13x07 Cas doesn’t put anybody or anything above his baby boy
13x12 Cas has the dumbest husband but at least Cas stabs lucifer. Bet Misha felt good
13x14 Badass Cas. He’s a top. lol 
13x16 ICONIC Cas looks...great. Like, watch it. I would do anything for cartoon!cas
13x19Just cause Cas faced someone who tortured him and it’s made to seem like he should get over it and it pisses me off. But Naomi is so cool so idk I like her but would fight her
13x22 Otherworld Cas is there and Cas just kills himself. He needs therapy. 
13x23 Cas’s face when Dean says yes. Also, family hunting trip yay
14x01 Dadstiel! Also, Cas looks good. 
14x03 Dadstiel.
14x07 Dadstiel. “Losing a son feels different.” And I cry. 
14x08 “because I love you Jack. And Sam and Dean--they love you.” THEY DO LOVE HIM AHHHH! Also, Empty deal is made as an excuse for the writers to do something with Cas later. 
I just realized season 14 is just Cas trying desperately to keep his family together. He’s trying to take care of them and he has the right words to say to everyone but not much happens besides him wanting to be a family man. 
14x14 gay on gay violence lol Also another family hunting trip! 
14x15 Fav episode! I just love Sam & Cas’s dumb chaotic energy in this ahaha! They are best friends damn it!
14x18 Cas is trying desperately to keep his family together and he feels responsible for Mary
14x19 Cas should have been allowed to kick Sam and Dean’s dumb flat asses for locking his baby boy in a box. 
14x20 AHHH
Divorce arc! All of s15 is great! Except you know...19&20 but we ignore that in this house. 
15x03 ICONIC but I will never watch it again
15x06 dude, they really be broken up. Cas kicks ass by himself and he’s fishing and he’s so cute. 
15x09 ICONIC Let him talk, Castiel!
15x11 Cas is THEE best Dad and let’s Jack eat hearts
15x13 Just for the family.
15x15 :(
15x17 Cas working to keep his baby boy
15x18 :( I mean at least he’s out but :(
Okay, this took me all day and I had fun! Nobody is gonna read it but who cares cause I just spent my day thinking of Cas when I had a pretty shit day so thanks, Nonnie! 
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kurt-nightcrawler · 2 years ago
Warren Worthington III x Female Reader
Request 1: Omg I just read the I have a boyfriend and the opposites attract and I'm aksjksjeje. Idk if ur taking requests, but in case u are I need more on that mother nature reader and Warren pleaaaaseee!!! Maybe something with angst, like some conflict in their relationship, but with a happy would be greatttttt I absolutely love ur writing
Request 2: Hi love!:D idk if you’re taking requests or if you’re in the works of smth, but like, I’ve had this idea in my head about your fic of Mother Nature with what she said about the weather affecting her. Like it’s winter season or smth and the sun has not been out for days (and maybe Ororo is not around to help??) so she’s feeling weak and Warren is doing all he can so she can get better🥺 I reaally love your writing💕 💕
Warnings: swearing and angst
Word Count: 12.5k
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“How long will you be gone?”
“A few weeks. We should be back before December 21st.” 
(Y/N) huffed, that was almost two weeks, plus the holidays were coming up. “Stay safe, okay? All I want for Christmas is you.” 
Warren rolled his eyes and kissed her forehead, “I already got you a gift.” 
(Y/N) thanked him and he just held her tighter. 
Warren went on a mission with Raven, Alex, Kurt, Ororo, and Jean. They were going to Italy to stop some mafia mutant issue. “Which is stupid,” Scott retorted. “We live in New York. Surely the mafia isn’t only terrorizing mutants in Italy.” 
(Y/N) shrugged, “Probably.” 
Her mind wandered as Jubilee talked to Scott about their final for Dr. McCoy. I need to water the plants in the greenhouse. (Y/N) yawned, she felt a sudden wave of drowse come over herself. I’ve been so tired lately… 
It wasn’t a mystery why (Y/N) had been so tired lately. It was because of the weather. The earlier it got dark, the less energy she had— and with it getting colder, her abilities were limited. Most of the plants in her room had gone dormant. (Y/N) was worried she would too, but it hadn’t gotten cold enough. 
“I think we should go skating tomorrow,” Jubilee suggested. 
“Just the four of us?” Peter asked. 
“Do you see anyone else? They’re all in Italy.” Peter squinted his eyes at Jubilee as she was sarcastic. “The rink is open, it’s December, and I’m bored! I wanna pick up cute girls.” 
“Isn’t ice skating like a go-to in Hallmark Christmas movies?” Scott asked. 
“Why do you know that?” Jubilee asked. 
“We watch those all the time on nights with the boys,” Peter explained. “They’re awful and all the same. There was one where a girl was in love with a ghost and another where a girl texted her dead mom to grieve… I’m so lucky I don’t celebrate Christmas.” 
(Y/N) laughed, hallmark Christmas films were pretty cheesy and cliche. 
“I mean yeah, you’re right, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go skating, or do something. Everyone is gone and we need to stay active.” 
Peter and Scott both looked at Jubilee with confusion. “But we’re all in pretty good shape.”
“No, I mean (Y/N),” She whispered to the boys. 
“What’s wrong with her? She looks fine.” Scott said, quickly checking her out as she was preoccupied with her phone. 
“Around winter, she tends to get weaker cause it’s colder and the sun goes down earlier…”
“Yeah… We know…”
“No, you guys don’t get it. During the winter plants go into like, hibernation— and if it gets too cold and (Y/N) falls asleep she’ll go dormant. The only safe places are her room and an area set up in the lab.” 
“We have to keep her awake all winter?” Peter asked curiously.
“No, we just have to make sure she only falls asleep in her bedroom and stays there. It’s the only ace place because it’s like a greenhouse sort of…”
“What happens if we don’t?...”
“She could die!” 
“Who could die?” (Y/N) asked. 
“Scarlett Johanson’s stunt-double. I mean have you seen the new Black Widow trailer?” Jubilee asked without missing a beat.
“Eh, I dunno. She’s a professional, plus stunt-doubles are kind of expected to get hurt… while it’s not preferable an innocent gets hurt,... they did sign up for it.” 
“I never thought of it like that…” Scott said almost seeing off-handed while trying to noticeably glare at Jubilee. 
“Well, I’ve got to go. I promised Catherine I’d help make gingerbread cookies.” Everyone wished (Y/N) some form of goodbye, or have fun, leaving them alone.
“(Y/N) is going to die?!” Peter almost screamed. 
“No! No, no— (Y/N) is not going to die. She’s done this longer than I’ve known her. I think she was like, thirteen when these first started happening. I didn’t know (Y/N) until we were 15, but still.” Jubilee continued on,  “She’ll either pass out randomly in the middle of December or January and hibernate until March or April, or she won’t go dormant and just have to spend most of the spring outside, like soaking up the sunshine or whatever. “
“Oh, okay. So this is normal. Great. (Y/N) might fucking die every winter and we just have to act like children on thin ice? Deal with it somehow?” Peter looked like he was freaking out. 
“I said she’s been doing this for years, plus she hasn’t died yet. We’ll be fine.”
Scott’s gut was telling him something different, but he blamed that on his constant anxiety. 
Five days after Warren left
(Y/N), Scott, Peter, and Jubilee all went ice skating. Jubilee and Peter attempted to spy on cute girls, while Scott tried to act perfect, and (Y/N) tried her best to not lean against the wall too much. It was fun, but indoor rinks are as cold as the outside ones. (Y/N) bundled up enough, but she still got chills. 
Scott took everyone to some artsy coffee shop that Jean adored. He claimed they had a killer hot chocolate. Jubilee already tried it once before, being Jean’s best friend/roommate. Peter thought it was kind of watery and not that great, and (Y/N) didn’t think it was bad but… 
“You overhyped it. It’s good though.” Scott pouted, and Peter laughed through Twinkie bites and hot chocolate sips. (Y/N) felt warm and fuzzy inside. Almost… sleepy…
Her mind started to drift… Warren… everything they’d do when he got back from Italy… 
Their first winter holiday together… all the shitty hallmark movies we can watch with Scott and Peter… the—
“Huh?!” She rubbed her eyes and tried to seem awake. “What is it?”
“You were dozing off there,” Scott pointed out. 
“Oh.” She scratched her head. “Sorry. Haha,” Her laugh was somewhat sarcastic. “Just don’t let me, uh… Don’t let me pass out. Wouldn’t wanna get nicknamed Sleeping Beauty.” 
“Yes, ma’am.” Peter joked.
Nine days after Warren left
Peter taught everyone, or attempted to, teach everyone how to make a seven-layered cake. Jubilee and Scott kept sneaking batter, while (Y/N) was struggling to not use her powers. 
“Okay, but like, I could get sugar from a plant or—“
“No!” Jubilee protested, batter on the corner of her mouth. “We— we have all these ingredients here. Why waste them?” 
(Y/N) squinted her eyes, they were a bit purple, but she let it slide and grabbed sugar and other dry ingredients from the cabinets. 
“If she uses too much strength she could pass out. It’s been snowing hard for the past two days, and it’s been cloudy all week.” 
“Can’t she eat a protein bar or drink some coffee or something?” Peter whispered. 
Jubilee shook her head, “No, she needs vitamin D. Like, from the sun. More than a normal person does.” 
(Y/N) set the sugar on the counter and looked at the recipe from Peter’s mom, reading bits out loud, “We need 2 and 1⁄4 cups of sugar.” She looked at the measuring cups, trying to find the one she needed. 
“Hey, Scott! We agreed no phones out,” Jubilee scolded him. 
He rolled his eyes, “You sound like a teacher… I was just checking a package I ordered…”
“If you actually bought that $200 lightsaber you were telling me about,” (Y/N) joked, “I will scream.” 
Peter scoffed, “Please, Jean got him that for Christmas.” His face fell soon as the words left his mouth. “Shit…” 
“No, she didn’t. We had a budget and—“ Jubilee and Peter both looked at their feet, eyes wide and sheepish. “I am not worth $200.” 
“You sound like Warren,” Jubilee complained, cracking eggs into a separate bowl. 
“It’s true! I don’t want her to spend money on me.” He glanced at his phone again.
“She’s not going to text you. No one is allowed to bring phones on missions, because the government can like, track you and shit.” Peter reminded him. 
“I know, I know… but what if something happened? What if someone died or they got stuck and stranded and—“
(Y/N) put a hand on Scott’s shoulder, “Calm down Romeo. They’re going to be fine. If something happens, Xavier will let us know.” Scott nodded, trying to believe (Y/N) was right. 
Fifteen Days after Warren left
(Y/N) was getting sick and tired. Tired of her friends never leaving her alone, the panic on their faces if she so much as yawned or rubbed her eyes, she was sick of them being so nervous. More so Scott and Peter than Jubilee. 
Of course, they meant well, and just wanted to make sure she didn’t fall into a coma, but she didn’t need to be doted over like a tropical plant lost in the arctic. 
(Y/N) huffed as she messed with her hair in the bathroom mirror. Her leaves looked less colorful, more brown and dead, the vines around her legs were gone, and her eyes looked like she hadn’t been sleeping. She had, but it was hard, the sun went down at 5 PM, and it was cloudy and cold every day it seemed. 
I just want Warren here. He’d make everything better. We could cuddle and nap together…
(Y/N)’s turned blue and red as she stopped daydreaming and ran her toothbrush underwater. 
By nature, (Y/N) was not a gossip girl or a secret keeper— people saw her as a Disney princess, a few of the younger students even called her “Mother Nature”... but she had ruined her status by lying to the person she cared about most. 
She didn’t tell Warren about her dormant state, about how she could sleep until possibly March. She wanted to stay awake and active all winter. She wanted to spend her time with her angel. 
But he was in Italy fighting crime, and wouldn’t be back until mere days before Christmas. 
She had to be awake for Christmas and New Year’s. After that, it didn’t matter. 
Wait. Then she remembered Valentine’s Day. 
I have to be awake for that too. And Warren’s birthday… I can’t miss those… She made herself a promise she wouldn’t go dormant this winter. 
She glanced out the window as she scrubbed her teeth with the toothbrush. It was snowing again, thick heavy flakes came down almost in chunks. 
Twenty Days after Warren left
(Y/N) accidentally drank out of Peter’s cup without realizing it for about thirty minutes. Why did it matter?
Peter had caffeine in his soda, and (Y/N) did not. She was planning to go to bed in her room, and wake up when the sun rose to conserve energy. 
Now, she was staying up late with her friends, watching some crappy zombie movie on late-night TV.
“They could easily just move to an island. Use the old man’s boat. The zombies can’t swim!” (Y/N) argued during a commercial break. 
“Yeah, but there’s never any logic in these things.” Peter drowsed. 
“I guess so. It’s kind of dumb though…” 
Peter shrugged and took a sip of his drink, “Yeah, but it’s like Sharknado. They make money, it doesn’t matter if it’s bad or not.” 
(Y/N) didn’t retaliate, as the final commercial ended and the screen faded to black, signaling the movie was back on. 
Scott couldn’t remember when he fell asleep. He rubbed his eyes and tried to see who was all around him. 
Peter was passed out on the floor for some reason, Jubilee was asleep on one side of the couch… and Scott saw (Y/N), passed out with her head laying on a pillow. 
“Shit! (Y/N)!” He shook her, trying to get a reaction, but nothing happened. He repeated her name trying to undo her slumber until the other two woke. 
“What’s wrong?” Peter asked, hair tussled and eyes half-closed. 
“(Y/N) fell asleep on the couch!” Scott was panicking. He had one job— one job from Jubilee, “Make sure she only falls asleep in her bedroom or else she won’t wake up until March.”
 “Scott! Stop it!” Jubilee pulled him away from (Y/N)’s sleeping figure. “You could kill her!” 
“What—” He turned to Jubilee, “What do we do then?” 
“Peter, get Professor McCoy up here.” 
“But it’s 4 AM…” Jubilee gave him a deadly glare and he sped off. 
Scott was ordered to sit and be quiet while Peter got McCoy. 
“She fell asleep. She drank some of my soda earlier, causing her to not be tired. We thought we could get her sleepy by watching a movie, but we all fell asleep before she did…” Peter was giving Hank a 30-second recap, with 3000 words. 
“Peter, everything’s going to be fine.” Hank carefully scooped (Y/N) up in his arms, bridal style. He looked her over up close. Her skin looked pale, the leaves and flowers in her hair were gone, all that was left were dried twigs, and the vines usually wrapped around her legs were concealed by sweatpants, so he couldn’t take note on them. “I’m taking her to the medical bay. Everyone go to sleep, you can come back in the morning…” Hank glanced at the time, “You can come back later.” 
The three mutants walked to their rooms quietly. Jubilee made a stop at a bathroom to brush her teeth, while Peter and Scott went straight to their dorm. 
Peter used his speed to get changed and hop in bed. “I’ll leave the light on while you get changed.” Scott didn’t answer, he didn’t move. “Scott?”
“What if she dies?” His voice was barely above a whisper. 
“Jubilee said she’s been doing this for years, (Y/N)‘s not gonna die.” Scott still didn’t move, causing Peter to sit up and face his roommate better. “Everything will be okay. McCoy knows what to do, and this is no different than when bears go hibernate for the winter or when geese fly south. She’ll be fine.” 
“We don’t know that. If something interrupts her she could die—“ 
“She won’t.” Peter knew he knew, what Scott was thinking. Scott did what anyone would have done. Tried to jostle her awake, he didn’t know what else to do. 
“Do you know what it’s like?...” 
Peter hadn’t the slightest idea what Scott was referencing, he kept his mouth shut, trying to figure it out. 
“To have almost killed someone? Your parents arguing with theirs, lawsuits being threatened, your life could end before theirs and the doctors think they’re on borrowed time… How you know you deserve to be punished, and instead you’re just sent away, to be with more family and start new. You try to be better than you ever were, and people— they believe it. You deserve everything you’ve worked for… and then you go and fuck up! It’s one thing to have your mutation surface and have chunks of ceiling and a bathroom door put a school bully in a coma— but to hurt someone like (Y/N)?...” Scott’s voice trembled. His cheeks were covered in his tears. “If anything happens it’s going to be my fault. Warren’s going to blame me because everyone talks me up about how responsible I am and all these leadership qualities I have, that I actually don’t. Warren is going to kill me if she doesn’t wake up—“ He choked out a sob. 
Peter was quick to wrap the boy in his arms. “Hey, hey… shh… shh… You didn’t hurt her. She’s going to be fine. Hank picked her up and carried her to his lab and she did fine. You shaking her didn’t do anything.” Scott continued weeping. 
“How about you take a shower, and then we can go see her, okay?” Peter talked slower than ever before and with softness, enough to be gentle, but not so much you’d think Scott was a child. 
He nodded, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. 
“Okay, come on buddy…” 
Hank had carefully dressed her in a hospital gown and hooked her up to various equipment. Everything seemed normal for her coma-like state. He didn’t wake her up carrying her downstairs. 
Hank sat down in a chair next to her. He removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had no idea what to do. 
This had happened before, but Hank just kept her in his lab and he wouldn’t do anything until she woke up. Sometimes students would visit to see how she was doing… Most of the time they’d just whisper and watch her for a few minutes before leaving, some made jokes about how she needed Prince Charming to kiss and wake her up. 
Hank hesitated allowing Charles tell the team what happened. They wouldn’t be back for another week, and he didn’t want to cause a distraction for them. 
“Hey Doc,” Peter waved. Scott was standing next to him. 
Hank quickly put his glasses back on and stood up. “What are you doing awake? You should be asleep.” 
“Couldn’t sleep. Figured we could come by, see how (Y/N)’s doing.” 
“Yeah— she’s doing fine. Vitals are steady and her heartbeat is regular. All we have to do is wait.” Hank faked some optimism. He knew why they were there, and she was fine— except, Hank had no idea when she’d awake. 
“Did you tell Xavier what happened?” Scott asked. 
“Yeah, he knows. He said there’s nothing we can do until she wakes up. We have the option to wake her and keep her in the green room, but that’s easier said than done…” Scott looked pale. Hank cursed to himself for freaking the kid out. “Trust me, this is the best option for her.” Scott nodded. 
“Yeah… “ Peter tried to distract him. “Why don’t we eat some leftover cake?” 
“I’m not hungry Pete,” Scott answered.
“Well I am, and you’re not going to mope around down here. It’ll like, give (Y/N) a bad vibe. Come on.” Scott sighed and followed Peter out of the med bay. 
Twenty four days after Warren left
Warren was exhausted, Everyone was. The mission went smoothly, or smoothly as it could, considering the number of minor injuries everyone bore. 
“We’ve got a few more hours until we’re home,” Alex announced, checking in on the younger X-Men.
Ororo, Jean, and Kurt were playing go fish. Warren was watching, contributing nothing to the game but sarcastic comments and jokingly-judgemental looks. 
“Great, thanks,” They replied. 
Alex nodded and walked back to his seat in the cockpit. He pulled something small and rectangular out of his pocket. Warren carefully watched from the corner of his eye. 
Is that a cell phone? 
Cell phones weren’t allowed on missions. They were distractions, not to mention out of rage cellular fees were expensive— plus with modern technology comes tracking. Having something as minor as a cellphone on a mission could jeopardize the whole operation simply because someone wanted to use google maps and see where the nearest Starbucks was. 
“Yeah?” He stuck the object in his pocket. 
“What is that?” Warren kept his down, as to not alert the others.
“The thing in your pocket. What is it?” 
Warren was pissed. “It’s a cellphone isn’t it?”
“It’s a burner phone. In case of an emergency—“
“Why’d you take it out?” 
“Hank texted me.” 
“Oh, great.” Warren spat, “You bring a phone on missions in case you miss your little boyfriend.” 
“No!” He spoke out. At this point, everyone was watching. “You don’t get to break the rules and endanger the mission!”
“Warren, calm down.” 
“You can’t tell me—“ 
“Someone at the mansion got hurt, bird brain. That’s why Alex’s using the burner to text Hank.” Raven rolled her eyes. Dramatic much?
No one knew this, not even Jean. They all tuned into the conversation. 
“Who did?”
“What happened?” 
“Everything’s fine.”Alex lied.
“No, it’s not. You wouldn’t be texting Hank if it was.”
Jean discreetly put two fingers to her temple, trying to figure out who got hurt. Raven saw her and glared, mentally telling her to stop.
“Everyone settle down. We have a few hours left until we’re back in Westchester. Just chill out until then.” 
Warren rolled his eyes and sat by himself, thinking Raven’s little distraction speech was stupid. 
He couldn’t help it— acting all childish— he missed (Y/N) and he really hated having to share a bed with Kurt on missions. Kurt’s tail got all tangled and Warren’s wings were cramped. 
It was different from when he’d cuddle with (Y/N). He’d wrap his wings around her, and she’d grow flowers in her sleep around them. It was soothing… He’d wake up refreshed, and looking at his wonderful girlfriend. Kurt was… a major downgrade… he was a decent roommate, but he couldn’t stand him as a bedmate. 
Warren yawned, making a note to sleep for ten years and hold (Y/N) while he did it, once he got back home. 
The basketball court came into view, and the ground caved in, letting Raven land the Jet in its hangar. Alex announced they were back and free to get off the ship. The rest of the team hastily grabbed their bags and ran out of the X-Jet. 
Outside waiting for them was Jubilee, Peter, and Scott. Hank wasn’t there.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” Warren teased Alex. 
He didn’t respond.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” Jean mocked Warren.
Warren did a double-take as Peter and Jubilee spoke to Raven and Ororo. (Y/N) wasn’t there. 
“Hey, guys.” The three that stayed behind looked up with guilty expressions on their face as soon as they looked at Warren. 
“Where’s (Y/N)?” He asked. 
No answer.
Warren asked again, but more concerned, “Guys, where’s (Y/N)?” 
“She’s not dead—“ Jubilee hit Peter and scolded him.
“What does that mean?” 
The group exchanged nervous eye contact. They weren’t sure how to explain it, but if they didn’t Warren was probably going to attempt murder. 
“She’s in what Hank calls a ‘dormant state’. Basically hibernation—“ Warren’s face visibly paled. “Except waking her up is way more complicated…” 
“So she’s in a coma?...” He asked.
“Yeah, basically…” Jubilee admitted.
“How did this happen?” 
“(Y/N)’s mutation, I thought she told you…”
“Told me what?” Jubilee didn’t answer him. “What, Jubilee?”
Alex put his hand on Warren’s shoulder. “Maybe Hank should explain it…”
“So she won’t wake up until March?” 
“April at the latest,” Hank answered. 
“And you let this happen?” He turned to Jubilee, Scott, and Peter. They were terrified of what Warren might do. 
“No, no, they didn’t,” Hank defended them. “Her body just does this. It’s no different than that time of month…” 
“A period isn’t four months long,” Warren mumbled. 
“Let’s give him a moment alone with her.” Hank ushered everyone out, shutting the door behind him. 
Warren sank in the chair next to (Y/N)’s body. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 
“Fuck,” He mumbled. “Fuck, fuck,” Tears welled in his eyes. “Fuck!” He screamed. He put his fist up to his mouth to muffle his sobs. 
“How could… Why didn’t she tell me?” Warren looked at (Y/N)’s figure. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” 
Warren felt his heart breaking. She looked so… so dead. 
But she wasn’t. She wasn’t dead but she wouldn’t wake until March.
 It was December. 
“Hank said… he said, we could wake you up, but there’s a chance you’ll die. And I’d rather have you like this than dead…” He turned away and mouthed cursed under his breath. 
Warren didn’t know what to do. Sure, he wasn’t necessarily one of those clingy boyfriends, whose only life purpose is to serve his girlfriend… but he really liked her. 
He wanted to spend more time with her than he ever could. She understood when he had nightmares or needed space. They never fought— their biggest disagreement was on a stupid homework problem. 
She made earrings out of some of his metal feathers, he learned how to take care of all kinds of plants. She showed him how to be compassionate and kind, he showed her how to be assertive and throw a decent punch. 
Peter teased him all the time, saying he was “in loooove,” dragged out o and everything. He’d always tell him to shut up or piss off. 
Because maybe he was in love with her. 
“But I’m her first boyfriend.” 
“That doesn’t mean you can’t be her first love.” 
“That means I’ll hurt her…” Warren’s voice cracked. “I don’t wanna hurt her…” 
He didn’t know she’d hurt him.
Warren wasn’t allowed to sit at (Y/N)’s side all day, or even all week. He had work to make up for when he was in Italy— homework, mid-terms, laundry, post-mission exam— not to mention Christmas was in five days.
He tried to keep himself busy in the first two days, and he overachieved everything he had to do. Which inevitably, left him with nothing to do. 
“God, you look miserable,” Peter commented when Warren made his way into the kitchen, bags under his eyes, messy bed-head hair, sweatpants hung low, and a wrinkly t-shirt. 
“I stayed up, deep cleaning my closet. I’ve got some stuff I’m gonna donate.” 
“That’s nice.” Jean curtly commented. 
Nobody knew what to say. They weren’t sure what would trigger Warren. 
“We were all gonna see Knives Out,” Scott said. “A day off for everyone, chance to get last-minute gifts…” 
“Not interested.” Warren poured himself a bowl of cornflakes. 
“Come on,” Jubilee almost begged. “You haven’t left the mansion at all in the past few days.” 
“I have stuff to do.” He poured milk into his bowl. 
“Warren, you deep cleaned your closet at midnight. You have nothing to do and this will keep you occupied for a while.” Jubilee pointed out.
He was tired, “I don’t want to leave the mansion. What if something happens—“ 
“(Y/N)’s going to be fine.” 
Warren held his spoon tightly in his fist. “That’s what I thought before I went to Italy— Look at her now! She’s in a coma.”
“She’ll wake up in the spring,” Kurt offered up to calm Warren down. 
“This could have been prevented. I should have been here—“ Warren felt himself breakdown. He started crying, and no one knew what to do. Ororo got up from her seat and hugged him. He sobbed into her shoulder. 
Ororo gave him words of comfort, “It’s okay, this is normal for her. Distance will do you good. Everything’s going to be okay… You should get out, get fresh air.” 
Warren nodded and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, “Uh-huh.” 
“Come see the movie with us,” She suggested. 
“Okay, yeah… I’ll— I’ll go get ready.” He put his bowl in the sink and went out of the kitchen.
“Holy shit.” Peter’s eyes were wide with shock. “He’s a mess!” 
Jubilee swatted him with her hand, “Hush! He’s clearly upset… His girlfriend’s in hibernation until March.” 
“Yeah, but like, he just started crying,” Peter stated. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Warren cry before… He just looked so broken, like, holy shit. I don’t think I was that upset when I got cheated on by my girlfriend, junior year on prom night…”  The worst part is, we could have prevented this.” 
“I think I’m gonna puke,” Scott mumbled. 
“Hey!” Ororo chasted the two boys. “I don’t care what happened while we were gone, but you’re both acting pathetic. This is no one’s fault! Get your heads out of your asses and be there for Warren.” 
“We should wake her up…” Everyone looked at Scott like he was crazy. 
“And risk killing her?” Ororo asked. 
“Yeah, no,” Peter answered. “Romeo may follow suit.” 
Warren didn’t want to go outside, but he needed to keep busy, or else he’d start crying again. 
He was a mess— he knew Kurt was tired of him staying up all night, doing anything and everything to keep busy… but when he closed his eyes he was face to face with nightmares— (Y/N)’s practically lifeless body lying in the hospital bed, her never waking up, or if she did she’d have amnesia and not remember anyone. 
Warren couldn’t sleep, but staying up all night would eventually take its toll on him, or he’d run out of things to do. 
Warren got changed and quickly ran downstairs to the medical bay. He wanted to check on (Y/N) before he left. 
“How is she?” 
“Same as she has been for the past few days,” Hank answered. “Everything’s normal, and she’s doing fine— great actually.” 
Warren nodded, “Um, I just wanted to see how she was doing. I’m going out with the other X-Men… we’re seeing Knives Out… Ororo said it’d be a good idea for me to get out of the mansion.” 
Hank blinked and then frowned in thought. “Yeah, she’s right. However, you seem to be doing really well, considering the situation. You haven’t spent all your time down here, but you do visit. You haven’t acted out with a huge wave of impulse emotions, but getting out for a little bit would be great for you.” 
Warren bit his tongue, holding back from telling Hank the truth about how he was doing. “Yeah… I’ll um, see you later.” 
Warren zoned out in the middle of the movie for a few minutes and had to ask Kurt what happened. 
“Police chased them down.” 
“Ah, okay.” Warren nodded. He glanced at his other friends. Scott had an arm around Jean, and they were cuddling, practically on top of each other, in the big recliners. Jubilee bought sour patch kids and was sharing the bag with Ororo. Peter and Kurt were really engrossed in the movie, and Warren was just kind of there… 
He was lonely— The movie was good, and he was enjoying it— but Warren as a whole was lonely.
He put up the hard “I don’t need anybody,” exterior to protect himself from hurt. His poor relationship with his parents caused him to be cautious and made it hard for him to develop a steady healthy relationship with any authority figures in his life. His cage fighting days taught him, he was alone, and nobody was ever going to love him, and he’d have to fight to get anywhere in life. 
Obviously, that proved to be false— he found confinement in Alex, (and sometimes Hank), as the older brother he never had. The community in the mansion proved he didn’t have to be so alone, and (Y/N) made him realize love is not some made-up fantasy, concocted in Disney’s headquarters. 
(Y/N) felt like his best friend on most occasions, and while he had all his other friends, her being gone made him feel so empty inside. 
On Christmas Eve he moped around in Scott and Peter’s room, one earbud in listening to sad music.
Scott wasn’t even there— he was doing God knows what with Jean, and Peter was playing Pac-Man. 
“You can hang out with me tomorrow if you want. I don’t celebrate Christmas.” 
“I’m good.” Warren knew Peter would probably run home and mess around with his sisters and mom, or awkwardly hang around the mansion, trying to find Erik and tell him about their relationship. 
“Dude,” He awkwardly chuckled. “Okay, look— um, I know, nothing I say can fix the situation, but if you want to talk I’m here.” 
Warren paused his music. “What was the last thing she said?”
Peter was awestruck, “She’s not dead!” 
“I know—“
“She’s in a coma that she’s going to wake up from! She didn’t die.”
“I know that! I just want to know what she said before she went into the coma…” 
Peter felt guilty for jumping to conclusions. Warren seemed so defeated, like a kicked puppy. “We were watching a crappy zombie movie on tv… and it was like, really bad, and we were mostly complaining about how bad it was. The last thing I remember was she said something about how the prosthetics sucked and she could have done it better with some mint leaves and slime.” 
The corner of Warren’s lip rose up slightly. Typical (Y/N), but she was probably right. 
“Wanna play Pac-Man with me?” 
Warren sat up, “Sure.” 
“He just started crying, like— I’ve never seen anyone so upset, and I thought you were dead at one point!” Scott was frazzled in Hank’s lab with Alex, Jubilee, Jean, Ororo, and Kurt. 
“He seemed fine when he came down to visit her the other day.” Scott gave Hank a disbelieving look. “Well if he’s crying over little things, obviously he’s extremely stressed out and I’m not going to push him.” 
Scott glanced in the direction of (Y/N)’s area in the lab, “Maybe we should wake her up.”
“Are you crazy?!” Jubilee asked. “She could die from that—“
“She probably won’t though… (Y/N) being unconscious has made Warren, everyone on edge.”
“You want an easy way out of this,” Jubilee raised her voice as she kept speaking, “If you really cared about how Warren was, you’d be trying to comfort him best you can despite your half-assed friendship!”
“It’s our fault she’s like this, Jubes! We were supposed to make sure she didn’t fall asleep anywhere besides her room, and we couldn’t do it.” 
“Scott, she was getting weaker every day, this would have happened no matter what—“
His voice got louder, yet he was practically shaking, “No, we had the most simple task in the world! And we couldn’t do it! We’re the X-Men and we couldn’t even keep a girl from falling asleep!”
Jean hugged Scott, running her fingers through his hair. “It’s not your fault. She does this every year— and it’s not like you ignored her.”
“What if it was you instead? I’d be just like Warren…”
“Don’t say that—” She kissed the top of his head. “You’d be fine.” 
“I think we should discuss this with Warren and the Professor before we do anything, drastic.” Hank’s final words were clearly aimed at Scott. 
“We can wake her up…” 
Everyone was still in the lab, but this time Warren and Professor Xavier were present. Warren didn’t move, he was focused on what Hank was telling him and what it actually meant. 
“But… she could die if not done correctly. Waking up an animal early out of hibernation could kill it, but getting a plant out of its dormant season would just weaken it, if done too quickly though, it could kill the plant.” 
“Hank,” Charles rubbed the bridge of his nose, “I thought we agreed, when (Y/N) goes dormant, we do not disturb her. We agreed with her parents several years ago.” 
“Yeah, but that was when she was a kid. She’s older now, and everyone’s distraught. Her boyfriend—“
“Oh, please,” Charles scoffed. “If I got on my knees and tried to align the stars every time Erik got hurt, there wouldn’t even be a school.” 
“Cut the crap. You and Erik fight and make up like some divorced couple in a soap opera. When Erik gets hurt, you’re always the first to know.” 
Xavier didn’t say anything out loud, he just glared. 
“Um, personally, uh, sorry,” Warren awkwardly cut in. “I think if (Y/N) might die if we wake her up, then it’s not worth it. And if her parents agreed, letting her sleep is the best thing, then it probably is.” 
Warren didn’t even want to think about her folks. Could you imagine? Their daughter dies because some dumb goth boy couldn’t handle her taking a three-month-long nap without him. Yeah, that’d impress them.
Charles clapped his hands together, “Well, there! It’s settled then. (Y/N) is fine as she is. I know this is upsetting for her to not be present around the holidays, but we can all assume she would want us to have fun and be kind to others, showing compassion and always helping those in need.”
Warren couldn’t sleep. He was restless in bed— too hot, then too cold, he’d have the beginnings of a nightmare or no dream at all— he was sure Kurt would have kicked him out by now if he hadn’t made the decision to sleep in Peter and Scott’s room for the night. 
His tossing and turning made him have to pee. He got up and went over to the bathroom. 
Looking in the mirror as he dried his hands he sighed. Warren looked so tired, but he didn’t know what to do. 
For the first time since Germany, he truly felt alone. 
He grabbed the two gifts stored under his bed and he quietly walked down the halls. 
None of the doors were locked, it was almost too easy for him to get into Hank’s lab. 
He flicked on the light switch, even though he didn’t need to. Her sleeping figure made his heart almost burst out of his chest. Warren felt so awkward standing there. 
He set the gifts down on a chair and walked over to (Y/N). 
“Hi…” No response. “Um, I don’t know if you can hear me… but like, Jubilee and Kurt watch all those soaps and they always have characters talking to people in comas so I figured, maybe, just maybe, you could hear something… anyway, um… I miss you. I really miss you and I wish you’d said something about all this…” He sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, with homework and chores and training. It’s been driving Kurt crazy that I’m up all the time, but I can’t sleep most nights…”
He paused for a moment, for the thought of, Am I crazy? Flashed through his brain. 
“I got you that fancy water filtered you wanted for Christmas… along with some mollisol soil in a jar…” He huffed in amusement while glancing at the gifts. “Peter made fun of me. He said, “No girl wants a jar of dirt for Christmas.” But I know you’d be happy with it— trying to divide it equally among every plant in your room, your eyes lighting up when you see improvements in them…” Warren looked at (Y/N) and smiled sadly. 
“We haven’t even been dating for a whole year, but it feels like it’s been forever…” His eyes watered and his voice faltered, “And that’s love… Isn’t it?... Everyone tells me something different, but— I think I love you. No— I know I love you. I love you and, and, I don’t know… I don’t know what I’ll do while you’re here. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and see everyone all happy like nothing’s wrong— or Scott kissing Jean when he thinks no one’s looking if I can’t put my arm around you and pull you closer and give him a look that states we’re a cuter couple…” Warren almost laughed at himself. His dumb competition with Scott. 
“I know you’d want me to pretend like nothing’s wrong because it isn’t— but it is… I don’t know what to do…”
Kurt knocked on the door of his room the next morning. “Warren! Merry Christmas!” No response. 
“I need to brush my teeth.” Still no answer. 
Kurt opened the door himself, “Warren?” The room was empty. “Where are you?” 
“Hey, Kurt,” Scott peaked in, still in pajamas. “Everything alright?”
“Warren’s gone.” 
“He’s probably downstairs already. Peter and Jubilee are, I bet he’s with them.” 
“Oh. You’re probably right.” Scott bid him goodbye and went to Jean’s room. Kurt still couldn’t get the feeling that Scott was wrong out of his system. 
Hank and Alex were headed down to the lab, giggling and acting like kids sneaking around. 
“Alex,” Hank breathed in between laughs, “I just wanna check on (Y/N).” 
“I know,” He managed between the kisses he left all over Hank’s neck. 
“Give me five minutes. Then we can join the others.” 
Alex frowned as Hank opened the door. “I want to be alone with you.” 
“Wasn’t this morning enough?” Hank joked. 
Alex rolled his eyes and hugged Hank from behind. 
Hank smiles and walked into the med Bay Area, where (Y/N) was put. 
He was shocked, to say the least. Alex too. 
“Did he wake her?” Alex whispered. 
“I don’t think so. Her heart rate hasn’t changed.”
Alex gently shook Warren’s shoulder, “Hey, kid, time to get up.” 
He groaned and slowly opened his eyes, squinting to adjust to the light. “Mmmmhmmmggg…” 
“Merry Christmas.” Hank teased as he looked over (Y/N)’s vitals. 
“Shit.” Warren rubbed his eyes, “Did I fall asleep?” 
“When did you come down here? I went upstairs at around eleven.” Hank commented. 
“You got into our room at 11:37 PM.” Alex corrected him. 
“Uhh, I don’t remember…” Warren was too tired to think. He wanted to get something to eat and go back to bed. He didn’t want to see everyone messing around the tree Charles got the younger students to set up. He wanted to go back to sleep right in bed with (Y/N), but he knew Hank wouldn’t let him. 
“Everyone’s upstairs,” Hank said.
“I know,” Warren said back.
Alex was preoccupied with his phone. Scott kept texting him where he was— for being the younger brother, he acted like an older one.
“Look, uh, I don’t want to overstep anything—” Hank said somewhat quietly to Warren. “I know we’re not that close, but—“
Warren shot him down, “I don’t need to talk to anyone. But thanks for the offer, Hank.” 
Hank pushes his glasses up his nose, “No, it’s not that… When Alex was presumed dead, and we found his body and he was in a coma… I was an emotional wreck. I spent all my time down here, worried he’d wake up any second, or never wake up, or wake up and not remember who I am… We weren’t even dating at the time. I was just so heartbroken because I wasted literal decades avoiding him and my feelings and— sorry. Sorry. I got off track… the point is, I get it. I’m not going to judge you for coming down at night to sleep with her.” 
“Just, just don’t tell anyone about this, okay?” 
Hank nodded understandingly. 
“Whatcha guys talking about?” Alex got up and wrapped an arm around Hank. 
“How much I love you,” Hank stated matter of factly. 
Alex chuckled and kissed Hank’s cheek. “Don’t bother him with that. I’m sure Warren doesn’t want to hear you talk about our relationship.” 
“I don’t care,” Warren told him. 
“Still— go upstairs. Scott and Kurt think you got kidnapped or something.” 
“Alright, alright,” Warren had to laugh, “I will.” 
“We’ll meet you up there.” 
Neither of the older men spoke until the door shut. 
“He loves her.” 
“Hmm?” Alex looked at Hank curiously. 
“Warren, he loves (Y/N).” Alex hummed in agreement.
“They’re good for each other.” 
Warren walked into the common room while chaos was in full motion. 
Kurt was teleporting from place to place in the room, Ororo was focusing on making it snow outside, surprisingly, Peter was asleep on the couch, and Jean and Scott were cuddled under a blanket by the fireplace, obviously feeling each other up.
“Warren!” Kurt jumped down and landed at his feet. “Where have you been?”
He shrugged, “Workout.” 
“Okay…” Kurt wasn’t convinced, but 
“Hey, Warren! I made these brownies, they’re really good—“ She handed him one. “Here!” 
“Uh, thanks.” He took a bite out of it. Gooey. Rich chocolate flavor. Yet, it also crumbled. Not half bad. 
Warren smiled and nodded, telling Jubilee it was delicious. She was thrilled. 
After a round of greetings to everyone, Warren sat on the couch next to Peter. “There’s a present for you…” He murmured, half asleep.
Warren furrowed his brows and looked at the tree. There was one gift left. The wrapping paper was black, with two silver bows on it. Warren smiled sadly at it, as he held it in his arms.
“Aww… It’s you!” Peter teased. Warren laughed a little, before opening it. 
It was a box. Obviously, not empty. Warren removed the lid and looked through it. Inside was a disposable camera, an empty photo book, and a letter. He grabbed the letter first and read it.
If you’re reading this, I’m either dormant or will be soon. I didn’t tell you anything about it because I’m scared. I’m scared you’d want to break up because I’m not conscious for part of the year. To most people, I’m sure it’d be a major turn off. But as Jubilee sometimes puts it, you’re ‘a little too attached’ to me to break up with me over a long nap. :) Or at least I hope so. 
Anyway, I don’t want you moping over me the whole time, because you’ll just be sad and closed off and lose a lot of progress in your mental health. And I worry about you. I’ll be worrying about you quite a bit while I’m hibernating. 
Uh, I can also hear everything you say to me. In case you wanna chat. I can’t say anything back, but it’s nice to listen. 
I got you the camera and photobook to give you something to do. When I wake up you can catch me up on everything I missed. Take some pictures, save some memes for me, make a playlist of songs you think I’d like, movies I need to watch— Jubilee did it my first year here, and I liked it. I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time sleeping… I sometimes feel that way— I could do schoolwork, or spend time with my plants that still trudge through winter, or hang out with my friends… don’t feel sad, this is a normal bodily function… for me… You’re gonna think it sucks, which is kind of does, but I’ll try to make up for lost time… I love you…
Warren couldn’t read the last few words, they’d been scratched out. He rubbed his eye, trying not to cry. 
“What’d you get?” Peter asked. 
“Uh, camera… So (Y/N)’s got photos for when she wakes up…”
“Aww…” Peter cooed. “That’s so cute— Hey guys! Let’s get a group photo!”
“Peter, I don’t— I don’t think that’s necessary—” 
“Too bad!” Peter snatched the camera from Warren’s hands and started motioning and yelling at people to get in the frame. “I used to use these all the time as a kid— these little disposable cameras. I loved them!” Peter pressed the button, and a light flashed for a moment. He turned the dial on it and then handed it back to Warren. “You know how to use these, right?” 
“Great! You’ve totally got this.” 
Peter was gone in a flash, leaving Warren alone. 
He huffed, what was he really going to do with a camera? He didn’t want to bring his girlfriend up to speed with pop culture and all the drama she missed. He wanted to live through it all with her.
But he couldn’t… 
Warren went back downstairs to the lab. Nobody stopped him from leaving or even asked where he was going. It was like he had no value in the group without (Y/N), just someone they tolerated, if that even. 
He wanted to scream, knowing she could hear, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t find his voice… no words came out… just tears… 
He fell down to the floor and cried. That’s all he could do. 
You’re so weak! Pathetic! You can’t spend a moment away from her and you cry like a fucking baby! You don’t deserve her… 
His sobs were the only things you could hear in the room.
New Year’s came and gone. The X-Men threw a party. Warren took a photo since he knew (Y/N) would have wanted to be there. 
He didn’t want to be there. Soon as he took his photo he wanted to leave. He never liked parties, not as a kid, not in Berlin, and not when he came to the mansion— until he started dating (Y/N). 
She got invited to several parties. Some were just dorm get-togethers with different groups of kids, others were house parties from the kids at the public school down the road, some were like this… real parties. She always wanted Warren with her when she went, and he never said no. He didn’t always enjoy them, but he didn’t mind. If (Y/N) had a good time, so did he. 
But here Warren was, moping in the corner of Xavier’s ballroom. 
He didn’t leave his room on Valentine’s day, despite still having classes. He trained for three hours a day, not including the group workouts and training required for all members of the X-Men. 
He volunteered to go on more missions. He didn’t want to be stuck in the mansion for more than two days at a time. No one objected, he was a valuable member of the team, and the more experience the better he would get. 
He was to go to London for three weeks with Ororo, Hank, Jean, and Scott.
Jean and Scott were excited because this just meant they’d somehow end up in a hotel room alone together at night, while everyone else was sleeping.
Warren was not too thrilled, as he was jealous. No need to sugarcoat it. Warren was jealous that Scott got Jean all 365 days of the year, that he never had to be away from her for more than a week, that they could flaunt their relationship and how happy they were together. 
It made his stomach churn, but there was nothing he could do. 
“I’m going to London for a few days… If I meet Harry Styles I’ll tell him you’re a fan…” (Y/N) laid in bed, lifeless. Warren tucked his hair behind his ears, making a note to get a haircut soon. “I’m going with Scott, Jean, and Ororo…” 
He hated this. He hated talking to her, knowing she could hear him but not say anything back. It was different the few days before Christmas, but now it was all just a mess. 
“Bye.” He threw his duffle bag over his shoulder and walked out. 
One week. 
One week with no cell phones, no homework, nothing. Sure, Warren would probably have to punch a few bad guys, but other than that he just wanted to sleep. He didn’t really care for much anymore. He tried his best to stay engaged and involved, keep himself busy, but it was extremely challenging.
A five-hour flight, with nothing to do.
“You guys excited?” Hank asked.
“I’m hoping I can use some new moves Mystquie’s been teaching me.”
“Mhmm…” Warren mumbled. 
Hank glanced at him. He looked depressing. 
“We’re in London for a week, I bet we’ll have some time to do sightseeing or go out.” 
“Ooo!” Jean nudged Scott. “That’ll be fun, right babe?”
He nodded, “Oh yeah.”
Warren brought Peter’s walkman with him, and put in his earbuds and closed his eyes, assumingly taking a nap.
Once they arrived and checked into their rooms, Warren was still tired. He wanted to take another nap. 
“So, I think we should go out tonight—” Hank handed everyone their room keys, “—You guys have been working really hard, and not much praise is given by Alex or Raven, or Erik when he occasionally shows up… but we’re proud of you.” 
“Aww…” “Thanks, Hank…” 
Warren just offered a smile.
“We can unpack and get changed if you guys want, we can go out and get some dinner?”
Everyone thought Hank’s plan was good, and they separated into their rooms.
“You doing okay?” Scott asked while unpacking his bag. 
“Yeah… Why?”
“You didn’t say anything the whole ride here.”
“I took a nap,” Warren unzipped his bag.
“I’m not going to unexpectedly burst into tears.” Warren snapped.
“I didn’t say you were—” 
“Everyone thinks I am, I’m not stupid. I know you think I’m emotionally unstable and Hank’s been acting all nice on this mission because of it.” 
“Are you?” 
Scott sat down on his bed, “Are you emotionally unstable?”
Warren glared at him, “I’ve been working my ass off for this mission. I’ve trained longer and harder than anybody else. Do I look unstable to you?” 
“No! I just thought—” 
“Doesn’t matter. I’m gonna shower and get dressed for dinner.” He walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.
Hank had asked the woman at the front desk a good place to eat. She recommended some local place down the road. He rounded up the kids, despite there only being four of them.
“A night out will do us good.” 
“You’ve been saying that,” Warren mumbled. 
“You didn’t have to come you know,” Ororo stated. 
“I have nothing better to do with my time.”
Ororo kept her mouth shut, knowing she could have said something back, but knowing Warren, it was better not to.
The restaurant was pretty crowded, despite it being the middle of the week, but the group still managed to get a table. 
Their server was friendly. They got drinks. They ordered their food. 
“You okay, Warren?” Hank noticed he hardly touched his food.
“Mhmm… Just not that hungry. I’ll probably get a box.” 
“Oh, okay,” Hank nodded, a little unsure. 
They left the restaurant and went back to the hotel. Warren took his shirt off and laid on his bed. 
“I’m gonna hang out with Jean… You gonna be okay?”
Warren let out a breathy laugh, “Yeah, yeah. Go have fun, Cyclops… I’m going to bed.” 
Warren couldn’t sleep. He didn’t really want to. He turned on the tv, trying to find something to watch. 
Someone knocked on the door while he was in the middle of some cooking show. Warren got up and opened his door. “Hey, Ro.” 
“Hey, Jean kicked me out. Wanna go for a swim in the pool?”
He quickly got changed and followed Ororo downstairs.
The got into the elevator and were quiet at first.
“I think they have a hot tub.”
Ororo glanced at Warren and sighed. “I’m here for you if you want to talk.”
He nodded, “I know.” 
“For real. You’re allowed to talk about your feelings.”
“I don’t want to.”
Ororo sighed, “Warren…” 
 He looked back at her. “I want this all to be over.”  
“It’s not fair! Everyone in my life has left me or used me somehow— and I know she’s different, but it’s not fair! I was so happy with her and—” 
The elevator stopped. It wasn’t their floor. The doors opened the reveal a young woman. She had a familiar glow to her and leaves in her hair. 
Warren looked at her, feeling lightheaded at seeing her.
Warren woke up in his hotel bed. He wasn’t sure how he got there. He didn’t even remember going to the pool with Ororo. All he could remember was her. 
He looked over to his left and saw Scott peacefully asleep in his bed, sleep mask on and everything. The TV was off, and so were all the lights. Warren couldn’t go back to bed, it wasn’t an option. 
He quietly got out of bed and slipped on his shoes, slowly opening the door, as to not wake Scott.
He went out to the halls. He had no plan, no idea where he was going, but he needed to get out. 
He walked around, lost in the halls late at night. He wasn’t tired, but he was upset. He didn’t want to keep crying, he didn’t want to be so dependent on (Y/N), but without her— 
The sound of thunder interrupted his thoughts. He looked outside and saw it was raining. It reminded him of (Y/N)— without her, all it did was rain and snow. 
Hank said they were looking for someone. Someone Xaiver wanted to bring back to the mansion. This type of mission was more stealth and would require little physical fighting. 
Hank got told from an anonymous source she’d be at some socialite gathering.
“Scott, Jean, you’re going to pretend to be some young, rich, American couple. Get in there, find our target, and get her alone. Convince her to come back with us if that doesn’t work let us know on the comms.” 
“What does she look like?” 
“Her name is Betsy Braddock—” Hank pulled up a file with all her information on his tablet. 
“What does Xavier want with her?” Warren asked, anger rising in his tone. 
Betsy… She left him to die in Egypt. She got him wrapped up in the Apocalypse cult nonsense. He didn’t want to see her again, he didn’t want to see her ever. 
“She knows something about the attacks in Italy we dealt with around Christmas, plus she’s somewhat telepathic… I know your past with her is messy, but—”
“It’s fine. I don’t care.” Everyone looked at Warren, surprised at his statement. 
“Alright. You guys know what to do— Jean, Scott, get dressed and ready for the party. I’ll get you an uber— Ororo, Warren, You guys are going to a hideout location not far from the location of the party, in case backup is needed. I’m going to stay and operate things here. 
The first few hours of the mission went as expected. Jean and Scott made small talk with people, trying to find Betsy. 
Warren didn’t want to see her, or more, he didn’t want her to see him in his current emotional state. But it didn’t matter what he wanted. He argued and insisted on joining this mission, and now he could see why Xavier was hesitant to let him go.
“I see her,” Jean said. “She’s not with anyone.” 
Jean’s earpiece was quiet after that. 
Warren and Ororo sat there for what felt like forever. Jean and Scott talked occasionally, but it was never directly to them. 
The young couple eventually lured Betsy into an empty room.
“You didn’t really bring me up here to sleep with me, did you?” She asked, messing with her hair in the slight reflection from a window. 
Jean shook her head, “No. But we want you to come back with us… You’ve heard of Charles Xavier…” 
Betsy nodded. 
“He wants you to help him with the attacks on the mutant community in southern Italy.” 
“What will he give me in return?” Scott and Jean exchanged a quick glance. They weren’t exactly sure. 
Scott’s voice faltered slightly, “You can…”
Jean finished his sentence. “—You can discuss that with him when we get to New York.” 
Betsy turned her head to look at them, “And what if I say no?”
“We’ll chase you down until you do,” Scott stated with more confidence than before.
“Alright. I’ll go with you.” 
Betsy had no idea Warren was in London, or even alive for that matter. Warren had no idea how she was going to react, and he didn’t really want to find out. 
But he didn’t really have an option. 
“Give us time to pack up and we can leave for Westchester,” Jean explained in the ride back to the hotel. 
“Who else is with you?” 
“Dr. McCoy is back at the hotel, and Ororo and Warren should be there too.” Betsy’s expression changed. “You probably know them as—”
“I know exactly who they are. I thought Warren died…”
Scott shook his head, “Nope. He’s doing great.” Scott blinked away the uncertainty hidden behind his words. 
Betsy nodded, unsure what to say. She thought about maybe jumping out of the car, and never seeing these people again. She knew Warren would be angry when he saw her. She couldn’t blame him. 
“He’s not upset with you…” Betsy looked at Jean, a bit shocked. “He’s hurting from something else… Don’t ask about it… just trust me...” 
“Easy for you to say.” Betsy scoffed.
Jean shook her head, “You’ll see…”
“We’re here.” The driver stopped the car and the three got out. 
Betsy looked up at the hotel the group was staying at, “Nice place.” 
They walked in and headed to the nearest elevator. Jean was fidgeting with the comm in her ear. 
“We got back about twenty minutes ago,” Ororo said.
“We’re on our way to our rooms,” Jean replied.
The elevator dinged, signaling it was at the destined floor.
They packed up quickly, and stood out in the hall, bags in hand. 
Hank introduced himself to Betsy. Her response was short, she was preoccupied with her ex-boyfriend standing less than five feet away from her. 
He looked sad and more tired than usual. Seeing him sober was mind-blowing to Betsy, but people change. She hadn’t seen him in a few years— sure they saw each other during the Apocalypse incident, but that was a few days— she was really going to see him this time. 
He didn’t respond to her. She frowned. 
The plane ride was long and tedious. Betsy had nothing to do and wanted nothing more than to leave. So, she decided to try and talk to Warren again.
“Hey.” He turned his head around best he could and looked at Betsy questioningly. She nodded. “What’s up?”
“Not much.” Warren wasn’t exactly in the mood to talk.
“Cool… Cool…” 
There was a pause before Warren spoke up, “Do you need anything?” 
“Just wanted to talk…” 
“You have other options.” 
Betsy rolled her eyes. 
“I don’t really wanna talk to you right now… And I don’t need you poking around in my head either.” 
“I wasn’t going to,” She said calmly. 
Warren didn’t respond. Betsy sighed, he was useless. Warren wasn’t going to talk even if she forced him. And she couldn’t really blame him, but she had a lingering feeling in her stomach. 
Probably just my dinner digesting… 
At some point, Betsy fell asleep, for when the plane landed Hank had to wake her up. She rubbed her eyes and undid her seatbelt. 
“Do we have to go through security again?” Scott asked. 
“Yeah, we left the country,” Hank told him while glancing at his watch.
Scott was not too thrilled. Everyone was tired to some degree. It was extremely late, and they went back a few hours due to the time zone.
“It won’t be that long. There’s hardly anyone here.” 
Everyone went through security and headed to the baggage claim to get their stuff. 
Jean was the first to get her suitcase— a medium-sized, teal one— Warren was next, and his was all black, to no one’s surprise, but the nametag on it looked drastic tied to the handle. 
It was clear, with glitter and flowers trapped inside it. It didn’t seem like Warren at all to Betsy, but what did she know? 
Hank took Betsy to an empty room and told her she could sleep there for the time being. She set her bags on the floor and looked around. There was a dated-looking wallpaper upon the walls, and the bed took up a little under half of the room. 
It was alright. 
Betsy rummaged through her bag for some pajamas when she heard footsteps. 
Hank had left almost immediately after he showed her the room, so it couldn’t be him. She opened the door only to see Warren walking down the hall. She quietly followed him, staying several steps behind. 
He went down to the main floor, and even further down into the basement. 
This place is huge! Betsy said to herself. 
The basement looked different from the rest of the mansion, for the walls and floor were made of metal. 
Warren turned right, into a room within the basement. Betsy held her breath as she got closer. 
What is he doing down here?
Betsy caught sight of a girl laying in a hospital bed. Warren sat down next to her and started talking… 
That’s why he’s on edge…  Betsy had accidentally bumped into something, making a loud noise. 
Warren shot up, “Who’s there?” 
Betsy tried to sneak out, but Warren caught her.
She froze. 
“Why were you following me?”
“Why are you visiting a coma patient at three in the morning?” She asked back.
“She’s my girlfriend.” 
“I mean I figured as much—”
“So leave.” He cut her off and was sharp. “Please…” He pleaded more in his last word.
She looked at her unconscious figure, “I could help…” 
“No,” He was stern.
“I could—” “—You’d kill her.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” She defended.
“Yeah, you would. Her mutation makes her basically hibernate until March, so she’s fine.”
“I could still help— I’ve helped you before…”
“No, you didn’t! You were constantly going in and out of my life whenever it was convenient for you and came back when I didn’t need you too! You— you ruined my life!”
Betsy felt a wave of guilt wash over her.
“Look…” Warren sighed.  “Betsy… I’m sorry. I don’t want your help… I don’t want you to hurt her.” 
Betsy nodded, she knew Warren wasn’t going to change his mind. 
“I won’t help you.” She left the medical room, leaving Warren alone with his thoughts.
Over the next few days, Betsy accommodated herself to the mansion, giving Xavier the information he wanted, and exploring the grounds. 
She was almost always accompanied by Jubilee, per some people’s request, seeing as her past wasn’t spotless. 
Jubilee was full of energy, and always willing to tell Betsy whatever she asked about. 
“Who’s Warren’s girlfriend?”
“Her name is (Y/N). She controls plants. She can also grow them from her body. And her eyes change color based on her mood… She’s uh, she’s not around at the moment, but that’s not important.” 
Betsy nodded along as Jubilee spoke. “Is he happy?” 
“Do you miss him?” 
Betsy struggled to let out a straight answer, “No— ugh— I just— I ruined his life.” 
“You didn’t ruin his life!” Betsy glared at her. “Okay, okay, maybe you kind of did ruin his life, but he’s fine now. He’s just a little on edge you’re here and (Y/N) isn’t.” 
“I don’t need to stay here—” 
“Bullshit!” Jubilee exclaimed.  “You’ve got nowhere else to go, really.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
Betsy was rarely ever alone. She was too busy helping the X-Men. 
She had a few moments to herself though. She was never sure what to do. She couldn’t just up and leave and go out to some bar and sulk in a corner and come back drunk and angry— that’d paint her as extremely irresponsible. She didn’t want to bore or impose on the X-Men if she didn’t have to. 
She wandered around the mansion. It was massive and somewhat old and stuffy looking, but also gave off those classic school vibes.
Betsy wandered into the basement at some point and quickly learned, that was where the X-Men trained, made battle and mission plans, stored their jet, Hank worked on costumes and more in his lab, and where their medical bay was kept. 
She knew she shouldn’t be down there alone. Betsy wasn’t going to do anything bad, but it felt wrong. 
She was watching a girl in a coma sleep. There were so many things wrong about that. 
Of course, no one would really care, except for maybe Warren— but he had every good reason to.
“You keep visiting me.” 
Betsy almost jumped. The voice had startled her. She thought she was alone. 
“Jean?” But didn’t sound like Jean. Betsy couldn’t decipher who it was. 
She sat there for another thirty minutes, hoping the voice would return, but it didn’t. 
So she got up and left. 
It was probably just a student. My telepathic abilities aren’t the strongest. It was probably just a student somewhere on the grounds…
She didn’t tell anyone about the voice. She didn’t want to seem crazy, because it probably didn’t mean anything. 
“Hey,  guys! I found this on my google drive! It’s a bunch of videos from Xavier’s fourth of July party!” Peter had his laptop open at a table, with a few papers spread about. 
Everyone, including Betsy, gathered around Peter as he played a few video clips.
It was Warren, Peter, Scott, and (Y/N) all together in the first one. They were walking in a parking lot with shopping bags in their hands. 
“We just spent—” Peter cut Warren off.
“We just spent $2,000 on fireworks! Holy fuck!” Everyone else is laughing at his enthusiasm. 
“Can’t Jubilee just produce fireworks? Why did we need this many anyway?” 
“It’s for the American aesthetic, (Y/N)!” 
They got into the car and Peter was still recording. 
“Weren’t you born in Poland or something?” 
“America was founded on immigration—”
The clip was cut off, and the next one played automatically. But Betsy remembered the voice. The female one. It was like the one she heard in the basement… was (Y/N) trying to contact her?
She tried to focus as the next few clips played, she needed to hear (Y/N)’s voice again.
“Kurt, look—” Peter was still recording with his smartphone, he had zoomed in on a darker part of Xavier’s. It was a tree, and two people were leaning up against it— clearly making out. 
“Jean told me she went to get more popsicles!” Kurt whined. 
Everyone watching was laughing, except for Scott and Jean, who were extremely embarrassed they got caught. 
“You ain’t slick, Summers.”
“Shut up.” 
Footsteps could be heard. “What are we doing?” (Y/N) asked.
“Look—” Kurt motioned to the couple at the tree. 
“Oh, gross. They don’t even know we’re watching! And to think… Warren went inside to see what Jean was doing…”
“Well, he won’t find out,” Kurt joked. 
Betsy knew she heard (Y/N) voice in the basement… but why? Was she a ghost? Did her unconscious state allow her to communicate telepathically? 
She needed to go back there, alone, but she knew that was almost impossible. Hank was almost always down in the lab, and Warren was almost always visiting (Y/N). 
That didn’t really matter to her. Betsy needed to talk to her or hear her voice again. She thought about asking Jean, but she thought that would be fruitless. 
She went to visit (Y/N) again, but this time she spoke to her. 
“Can you hear me?” 
No response. 
“My name is Betsy Braddock. I know who you are and I’m not going to hurt you.” 
Betsy huffed, “This is stupid!” She got up and began to walk out. 
“Wait!” Betsy froze. (Y/N) said something. “You keep visiting me…”
“I’m just curious about you,” Betsy responded.
“I don’t know I—” 
“Betsy?” Warren’s voice was stern and almost angry. “What are you doing here?”
“I can hear her. Like, with my abilities… I know you didn’t really want me down here and I understand—”
“Then why are you here?” 
“I wanted to see if I could communicate with her telepathically…” She admitted.  “That’s all. I’m not trying to wake her or anything.” 
“I’m sorry… but I can hear people and it’s nice to have someone who can hear me back…” 
Betsy, plagued with guilt, looked over at (Y/N), whos lifeless form hadn’t changed a bit, despite the obvious sadness in her words.
“I just feel, so bad and I don’t know why and… I ruined your life. There’s no shortcut, without me you would have left the fighting ring in less than three weeks… You’d have your feathery wings still… but I loved you and I couldn’t let go, and I thought bringing Apocalypse to you would make up for all the shit I did…” 
“I was a kid. I didn’t even know what love meant! And I’m not avoiding you on purpose, I don’t resent you as much as I did when I first came here… but I don’t know what you want, okay? Our lives aren’t connected anymore, and I just want (Y/N) back...” Warren was biting down on his lip to keep himself from breaking down crying. 
“Tell him I’m sorry.” 
“(Y/N) said she’s sorry…” 
Warren’s gaze shifted between the two girls. 
“Why is she sorry?”
“All I’ve done since Christmas is make him unhappy and upset. He deserves someone who isn’t asleep for part of the year.”
“She said, you deserve someone who isn’t asleep for part of the year.” 
Warren walked over to (Y/N)’s body, he held her hand in his. “It’s not about what I may or may not deserve. It’s about what I want and love.” 
“I love him…” 
Betsy was about to repeat what she said, but Warren was crying. He had let a single tear drip down. 
It landed on (Y/N)’s hand. And soon as it did, her eyes flew open. 
She was gasping for air, eyes squinting up at the fluorescent lights. (Y/N) heard voices. 
“She’s awake…” 
“It’s almost March, that might be too early—“
“—I’ll be fine,” (Y/N) interrupted. She rubbed her eyes and turned her eyes away from the lights, looking over at Warren, who was at her side, tears in his eyes. 
“Betsy, go get Hank.” He instructed. Warren looked back at (Y/N), holding her hand in his, and his other cupping her cheek. 
“Hi.” She murmured in a groggy tone. 
“Hi.” He kissed her forehead. “I missed you.”
“I know… I’m sorry…”
“Sorry?” Warren was perplexed. “What for?” 
“I couldn’t stay awake, and I hurt you, Warren. I made you cry and think you weren’t good enough for me…” She snuffled her nose. 
“That’s bullshit. You could never hurt me. I was crying because I couldn’t do anything. The last time I saw you was before I went to Italy on some dumb mission— I missed you… I missed your smile, I missed how you’d make flower crowns and put them on my head, how I could go to you after a nightmare no matter what time of night it was, or how you told me I helped you become more assertive and learn it’s okay to say no, or you showing me the beauty in everything— I…” His voice was breaking, but all (Y/N) could see in his eyes was happiness.  “I can’t live without you… I love you.”
“Oh, Warren, baby…” She squeezed his hand. 
Warren cupped her face with his free hand and kissed her. 
That one kiss said everything he wanted to say. It let out his feelings. It had passion and swiftness backing it up, followed by his undying love for (Y/N). 
She kissed him back, trying to make up for the time they’ve lost. Her lips fit prefectures against his. 
It was like the first time they kissed, full of everything she wanted, except much longer, with more meaning to it. 
They broke apart slowly, almost as if they didn’t want to. 
“I love you too…” She murmured.
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residentlesbrarian · a year ago
The Second Book I Read In the Dark: Another YA superhero novel for me to squeal over forever...YES, Please! Gimme Gimme!
Dreadnought by April Daniels
So Day 1 in the dark continues onward and I have already finished 1 of my 3 library books with still so much day left so what else to do but soldier forward and continue without pause. Well there was a short pause for delicious chicken soup cooked on a blessedly gas powered range (never gonna live in a house with an electric range; I swear this thing has saved our butts in so many power outages), but I digress; I was ready! This time I was taking a break from the whimsical and witchy and diving head first into all things super with an extra heroic twist. 
I had heard so many good things about this book for so long but again it had fallen to the wayside of other distractions (a rainbow montage of movie and TV show gays runs back and forth through my head like the migrating fandom flamingoes). What finally made me make the decision to buckle down and do the thing was a video review done by one of my favorite YouTubers, Dominic Noble (Video Linked below). I love his series Lost in Adaptation, because as an avid reader I too find myself appalled by what Hollywood often does to my favorite books. Hearing him talk about Dreadnought was just the push my flighty brain needed to say, “Fine! Alright! We haven’t utterly obsessed over a teenage superhero book in like 6 months since we near bludgeoned our girlfriend with Not Your Sidekick! Fine! Let’s do it!” So...yeah if this intro is anything to go by this should be a fun one! Let’s dive right in shall we!
Unicorn Rating:
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Blurb: She just wanted to paint her toenails in peace but then a superhero had to go and die and give Danny the one thing she never thought she’d have...her proper body. Now if only everyone else felt that way too. Life just got awesome and really really complicated all at once! Oh yeah and she can fly now. Bonus!
Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!
Holy crap! After the last book this was exactly what I needed! This book was just...so good! The plot...the characters...the world...everything about it just pulls you in and doesn’t let you go. Now I may have felt that way because I didn’t have anything trying to pull me away from this book but I don’t think I would have been easily pulled away if there had been distractions. And so many facets of this story were things I didn’t expect because I had never seen them portrayed before. Like the fact Danny having to deal with the rampant day to day sexism of being a woman now that her appearance matches who she really is. I’ve never seen that in a book before and I absolutely loved it! I was so dedicated to Danny’s story from page 1 it’s ridiculous, and look at that, a perfect segue into the phenomenal characters of this book...look what I did there switching it up going out of order on ya...gotta keep ya on your toes.
Our protagonist Danny is such a phenomenal example of a genuine kind caring person who is also deeply scarred and angry. It was so amazing to read a character that was flawed and struggling and doesn’t see how much a hero she really is and the small moments when others take that double take and go, “You’re the real deal, huh?” But those moments just confuse the living hell outta Danny cause she’s just Danny, she got super powers as a fluke. She is also hilarious and courageous and smart but knows she isn’t perfect and has weaknesses. She may be the strongest person on earth physically now but she acknowledges that that isn’t everything someone needs. Danny is such a good bean, but she has issues and that isn’t glossed over which is so rare. Now the next thing I want to touch on is a very tough subject but is very prevalent in the book so I wouldn’t be a very prudent reviewer if I didn’t bring it up. Danny is, without question, an abused child. This isn’t even really a spoiler, it alludes pretty heavily to it in the blurb, but what I’m gonna touch on next does dip into that territory so I’m gonna break it into a new LONG paragraph so just scroll on by if you don’t want to read this bit.
So at one point in the book Danny mentions a health screening at school that revealed she had hearing damage in her right ear that has now been healed by the mantle of Dreadnought. At the time of the screening she didn’t realize why until her dad had another Mount Vesuvius day and she assumed her usual position of curling in on herself and turning her head to the left so he would yell into only her right ear. Now how loud and how often do you have to yell into someone’s ear to cause permanent hearing damage? I don’t know and honestly I don’t want to know. Why am I highlighting an overall tiny moment...because for me this moment jumped out and gut punched me. Brought literal tears to my eyes. Tears of pain. Tears of rage. Tears of hate. I’m a weepy bitch when I get emotional. I’ve read a lot of books that try and portray abuse and how Daniels wrote Danny’s abuse from her father took my breath away because it felt so real. There weren’t really any good days, there were bad days, there were really bad days, but most days were just anxiously waiting for the next bad day, because Danny knew there would always be a next bad day. Something that did surprise me was my feelings about Danny’s mother. I knew going in I would hate her father, before even meeting him I hated him, but her mother, that was a hate that lay dormant until it exploded onto the scene and froze me to my core. I’m not gonna get into my own demons here but there is one thing I cannot abide by and that is people turning a blind eye while someone abuses another. Danny’s mother is the textbook definition of someone who “goes along to get along”, she will do just about anything to keep the peace, but at what cost? Instead of protecting her child from someone who literally screamed so long and so loud at her child that it damaged her hearing she just sat back and let them. That’s not the worst though, no, after Danny’s transition her mom seems to be understanding of the fact she is happy being a girl and is buying her things she needs like bras and undeniably feminine shoes, only to reveal it was all to keep Danny docile so she wouldn’t cause more fights with her dad. That to me is unforgivable. Not worse than the abuse of the father, but still undeniably selfish. She never cared about Danny or listened to her and what she was really saying. She just didn’t want there to be anymore fighting. Well I’m sorry, but sometimes, as a mother, you should fight to protect your goddamn child when someone is hurting them. The last thing I’ll say before going back to the more spoiler free and fun part of the review is that the fact Danny can never make herself say she is being abused hits so close to home for me. As a reader looking in from outside, there was a scene with a member of the Legion that I felt like, as an abuse survivor myself, I was standing there begging Danny to accept her invitation. To get out of that house. To get away from her father. To see what he was doing for what it was. But I knew she wouldn’t, she wasn’t ready, and it broke my heart to watch her fly away.
Anyway moving on from all that heavy stuff lets talk about other things like some freaking superheroes and one particular vigilante. We have the Legion members: Doc Impossible, Valkyrja, Magma, Graywytch, Chlorophyll, and Carapice. Now How do I want to talk about these characters...in what order...hmmm...how about from best to worst. Okay? Okay. Great! 
I freaking love Doc Impossible! She is a character that from the moment I met her she gave me ‘kookie grandma’ character vibes and I get DOWN with kookie grandma characters. Now I know she isn’t a grandma character nor is she particularly crazy in the way she acts; it's just a vibe I get from her that I love. Now one thing I do want to say without spoiling anything is how Doc is one of the few characters that never tries to take away Danny’s agency in everything that happens around her in all this superhero craziness. Danny can always be her own person and most importantly a kid around Doc, and I feel Danny really needed that. I will stop myself now because I could go on for hours about Doc and how much I LOVE HER!
Next up we get a two for one, Valkyrja and Magma. We don’t see much of them but what we do get is pretty good. They are adult superheroes who have their own priorities surrounding what is going on with Danny, but aren’t mean or cruel and seem to genuinely care about Danny. Valkyrja is funny and surprisingly down to earth even though she is basically a scandinavian goddess of sorts. Also the hilarity of her being Danny’s long time celebrity crush never gets old. Oh Danny, you useless little lesbian. Magma is a precious big hot boy that seems like he’d give good hugs. Yeah, that's about all I got to say about him that won’t spoil anything. 
Now we have another two for one with Chlorophyll and Carapice. These two I'm between dislike and indifferent on.  They weren’t outright mean to Danny but they treated her more like a means to an end or down right refused to acknowledge she was the new Dreadnought whether they liked it or not, but we didn’t really get to see them enough to really learn more about their motivations. 
Finally to round out the Legion we have Graywytch. Excuse me while I get this out. *Exaggerated throat clear.* First of all, Imma slap that stupid robe of ya stupid head. Then Imma stab you with your stupid fancy atheme you like to wave around all the time. And don’t even start on your “Typical male, always resorting to violence” shtick, cause guess what, I’m a ciswoman and I still wanna stomp a mudhole in your ass. And for that...Imma slap your dumb bird too. *Deep breath in. Looooooong exhale.* Sorry about that. Mama had to express some rage. I have never had a hate-sink character that made me feel the fiery flames of rage quite like Graywytch...obviously. Her treatment of Danny had me gripping the book tightly and growling about slapping birds and “shanking bitches” more than I should probably admit. She is one of those characters that I love how much I hate her. She served the exact purpose she was meant to and it was never cast in a light that she may be right in her treatment of Danny, we are always aware that her mindset is ridiculous. Like the fact outside of her parents Graywytch is the only character to blatantly deadname and misgender Danny. To go off on a small tangent here I may relate too much here because I have a younger brother who is trans (don’t worry he is fine with me discussing it in reviews and such) and I went to a graduation party when my best friend graduated medical school and he was out to the family but not extended friends yet. After only referring to him by the proper pronouns for so long at home hearing the wrong ones caused legitimate eye blinking record scratch cognitive dissonance for me. I had the same feeling anytime Graywytch opened her stupid mouth and blatantly misgendered Danny. Because the way this is written Danny is Danny, she is exactly who she is meant to be. Suck it Graywytch!
Okay, I know you probably want to hear about the plot I know, but we have one more character we have to talk about and that is Calamity, the rootin’-ist tootin’-ist vigilante that ever did come through these here parts. Sorry, I have to talk like this now, it’s part of the persona, you have to commit to the persona. But real talk, I absolutely love Calamity as a look into “graycapes” and the real dive into the world of superheroes beyond the big heroes. We get to see how someone who doesn’t have the backing of the Legion goes about helping people, the little people, those that maybe the Legion way up in their tower can’t see from so high up in the clouds. And y’all know me, I love a morally gray vigilante with a heart of gold.  She had me at “You wanna go capin’?”
Now obviously I couldn’t get enough of the characters but the plot was pretty darn good too. It was so intricately woven in with Danny and her inheriting the mantle from the previous Dreadnought that she had no choice but to be an integral part of it. Now I obviously don’t have as much to say about the plot as I did the characters but know if you come for the plot you won’t be disappointed. It kept me guessing and threw me for an absolute curve ball at the end that I did not see coming! You won’t be disappointed.
So final thoughts...there isn’t much more I can say without going on an hours long squeal fest about how much I freaking loved this book and the characters and the intricacies of how Danny’s powers work and how she was written and how she interacts with different characters and just everything that would mean massive untakebackable spoilers! So I will end on this note; Danny is a character that it would have been easy to lean into the superhero aspect and let the reader forget that she was trans, but April Daniels didn’t want that. Danny was gifted the easiest transition in the history of the world. What takes most people years of HRT and surgeries and therapy Danny did in the passing of a mantle, but it never took away the fact she is and always will be trans. It was a unique reading experience that I have only been blessed with once before but that’s a story for a different review on a different day.
Queer Wrap-up: I would give my left kidney (that’s my good one btw) to give this book five unicorns, but alas I cannot, a one off conversation in an elevator hinting that a certain improbable doctor may have a one sided thing for a particular sadly straight scandinanvian god being is just not enough to count as additional rep. As much as I love this book, and I love it A LOT! We only have Danny as our queer rep and she is fantastic rep and our protagonist so a 4 unicorn rating was a no brainer on this one. Danny is the kind of trans rep I want to see more of in the world of books, YA and otherwise. Being a trans lesbian is a huge part of her character but she gets to do so much more than that in the breath of the story and that’s what I look for in great representation, so Danny easily earned these 4 unicorns on her own merit just being her amazing self.
Dominc Noble’s Review
Alright so...this one got long. Ah hell, I ain't gonna apologize for it! This is a damn good book and I wanted to get my fangirl squeal on y’all. 
Oh no, I think I’ve been thinking about Calamity too much I slipped into the persona without meaning to! This book was just far too much fun to read to the point I started reading it out loud with a full cast of voices (hint: the Calamity parts were my favorite) because it flowed so well and was genuinely so funny at parts and heart wrenchingly sad in others and so action packed the next moment. I finished this book in less than a day and if I had been more present and not under a pile of blankets and wearing a headlamp I might have thought to keep a timer to tell you the exact number of hours it took me, but alas know it didn’t take me many. 
So the adventures reading in the dark continue on to the next review after this one but as always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.
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overdramaticly-dying · 2 years ago
Repairin' the Baron
Okokok- this episode??? SO GREAT??? the Mikey content??? the Raph content??? THE OVERALL FAMILY CONTENT??? yeah, so anywaysssss-
-Say what you will about Draxum, but he honestly treats his workers with respect. He took good care of Hugin and Muninn, and he took the time to interact with characters that would’ve been seen as mere henchmen by others... 
-APRIL!!!! I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE HER AGAIN!!!! Also Raph is being 100% precious and helping her out
-”Normally, it’s just a lot of clip-clopping, but lately, iT SOUNDS LIKE A DINOSAUR ON A TRAMPOLINE”
-it’s actually a dinosaur on a trampoline
-”And to make sure that neighbour is not scared, a disguise.” *puts on thug mask* I seriously wanna know what would’ve happened if it was a normal person
-”I told you Carol, I do not want to meet your daughter”
-”Dinosaur-trampoline always cheers you up, so I thought I’d try it on Baron Draxum!” 
-”I do feel my confusion being replaced by joy”
-He was trying to make Draxum happy by bouncing around, and Draxum jUST LET HIM IN, AND PAID ATTENTION????
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-also, this pure orange boi saw their enemy living on the streets, homeless, and the first thing he did was try and help him
-Dr. Positive
-”But, he’s also the one who created us, and that makes him family!” I’M NOT CRYING, YOU ARE
-ok, it’s already been mentioned, the perfection of this scene, but let’s go over it again quickly: 
1. Splinter, Donnie, and Leo were very excited to meet April’s parents. 
2. Splinter made sure they were in matching outfits, and made food (without Mikey’s help) bc they wanted to make a good impression.
3. Them coming in just to see Raph holding up Mikey in a dino suit probably gave them whiplash, and it didn’t help that Draxum was there as well
-Leo and Donnie casually betting on stuff
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-my sister and I at family dinners
-”No, no, he’s right. If I still had my powers, I could create tHE MOST LOATHSOME CREAMED CORN MONSTER EVER SEEN”
-”and do not get me started on Carol” I want an episode abt Draxum and Carol, this seems very interesting
-”Which part of the human is it made from?” “What? No, it’s made by humans, not from them” *throws in away in disgust*
-”He created us Raph! Without him, we wouldn’t even be here”
-I’m not sure what makes that line hit so hard? Maybe it’s Raph’s reaction to it, or maybe it’s how intensely Mikey says it?? we all know that they were just turtles before, but none of them have really said it that openly themselves... idk, it’s probably a weird feeling for them
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-Let’s just appreciate how much better they’ve gotten at fighting for a second
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-I really want more on April and Draxum!!
tl;dr THE EPISODE WAS SO GREAT????? I DIDN’T THINK I’D LIKE THE SHEEP-MAN ANY MORE THAN I ALREADY DO, BUT I’D DIE FOR HIM???? Also Mikey is pure, and deserves the world, but what else is new? also Draxum is giving him attention as a father-figure, and it’s really nice to see
Sidebar: Mikey looks absolutely terrified in this shot, and the person to snap him out of it was Raph
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I’ve already mentioned before that it seems like Mikey relies a lot on Raph for stability (more than Leo and Donnie), and idk, maybe we’ll see more of it in the future... or once again, I’m just looking into Mikey’s reactions waaaaay too much XD
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