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the-hs-etaverse · 4 years

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Headcanon that after Rose and Kanaya decide to move out of their flat and get a house, Vriska and Terezi (who have both returned and are dating by this point) move in with them. They just ask to stay temporarily at first, promising that they’ll find their own flat eventually, but as time goes on, Vriska reels in favours and invents reasons to stay for longer. Rose and Kanaya don’t mind, however; they appreciate the company. And eventually it becomes obvious to all four of them that the current living situation is effectively permanent.

When you have functional (barely) lesbian wives, disaster bisexual girlfriends, and three cats all living in the same house, you get sitcom-level scenarios.

Take note that aside from Rosemary and Vrisrezi, all relationships are platonic.

This got really long so I’m putting it under a Read More tag.

First, about the cats. Technically, they belong to Rose and Kanaya, since they’re the ones who feed them. But one of them, a ginger tom, has practically glued himself to Vriska. Vriska wears a lot of black. I think you can see where this is going.

The cats pose a problem for Terezi for two reasons. First of all, she’s prone to tripping over them or sitting on them by accident. Second, on multiple occasions, she has licked something and gotten a mouthful of cat hair for her efforts. Needless to say, none of the cats like her.

After The Saliva Incident of February 16th, Terezi is no longer allowed to lick anything not within her and Vriska’s room. Nobody is allowed to talk about The Saliva Incident of February 16th for fear of going under the business end of Kanaya’s lipstick.

Rose is fairly neat but is prone to mess when sleep-deprived, which she often is. Kanaya is a neat freak. Vriska and Terezi are slobs on par with stereotypical university students. There is an ongoing feud.

They’re all kept busy in some manner. Kanaya’s the only one with a real job: taking care of the mother grub. Rose and Terezi are both in university, studying psychology and law respectively. Vriska bounces between part-time jobs a lot, trying to figure out what she’s going to do with herself for the rest of eternity.

Kanaya has remarked that Vriska and Terezi are vacillating through all four quadrants simultaneously. Karkat is trying to confirm her claim but is hung up on the auspistice part.

Vriska has expressed interest in acting. She’s torn about whether it would be a good or bad idea due to her god status.

Jade is slowly but surely teaching Kanaya how to teleport. She practices a lot. The cats are afraid of her now. Terezi refused to speak to her for a week following one incident that shall not be discussed.

Rose and Kanaya, even though they’re married, are not clingy. Kanaya in particular is reticent to express affection through physical means. Vriska and Terezi, however, are very clingy. More need not be said on this matter.

In contrast, Rose and Kanaya often call each other pet names. They most frequently use “honey” and “dear”, but sometimes they branch out. Vriska and Terezi only call each other pet names if they’re actively trying to make other people uncomfortable. It happens more often than you’d think.

The four young ladies hold game/movie nights every Thursday. Occasionally, Dave and Karkat join them. Sometimes, they do livestreams. Those often deteriorate into madness.

They watched “The Sting” one evening. Vriska now has ideas. She is officially barred from watching “Ocean’s 8″.

Rose once convinced everybody to join her in binge-watching all the Lord of the Rings movies in one day. It went over surprisingly well. She’s now trying (unsuccessfully) to get Vriska and Terezi to read the books. (Kanaya has read them but doesn’t like them quite as much as Rose does.)

Kanaya and Terezi used to duel on the front porch on occasion. After Terezi nearly lost a finger, they stopped.

Vriska is the reason why Terezi failed her bar exam.

None of them can cook. Like, not even Kanaya can make anything more complex than a sandwich. They get takeout about twice a week.

Vriska has been known to subsist on nothing but graham crackers and those pull-apart cheese stick things for upwards of 36 hours. It’s not that she forgets to eat, it’s that she snacks on them nigh-constantly and doesn’t feel hungry enough to consume an actual meal.

Rose is the one who forgets to eat. Some days, she only has lunch and drinks coffee the rest of the time. Kanaya posts sticky note reminders for her all the time. They don’t help much.

Terezi, on the other hand, has a ridiculously fast metabolism. They always order two medium pizzas instead of one because Terezi will finish one all on her own.

Kanaya’s diet is mostly normal. She has acquired a liking for rare meat.

Vriska can sleep through a fire alarm (and has done so before), which is a good thing because Terezi snores. However, Terezi’s a fairly light sleeper, so sometimes she wakes herself up.

Kanaya sleeps like a mummy. She lies on her back and just. Doesn’t move. Rose doesn’t seem to find this odd.

Terezi stole a copy of Roxy’s old Complacency of the Learned fanfiction and brought it home for her and Rose to read. Rose claimed that she was simultaneously expecting both better and worse out of it.

At one point, Aradia burst through the window and asked to stay over for the night. They let her stay. She left in the morning without any explanation.

Kanaya has a deal with the local hospital with regards to her blood-drinking requirements. (They let her purchase donated blood from them for a fee.) Sometimes, if she runs out and forgets to go shopping, she’ll ask one of her friends to donate.

Terezi is proficient in the slide whistle, to the detriment of everybody else.

Vriska knows that Kanaya should never be trusted to name things in any timeline. She stopped her from naming one of the cats Nepeta.

The names of the cats are:

Glenn: The ginger tom who loves Vriska. Is found sleeping in very strange places.

Shepard: Grey tabby tom, slightly ornery but mostly lazy. Kanaya’s cat, by process of elimination.

Artemis: Brown tabby she-cat, slightly lazy but mostly ornery. Only likes Rose. Was almost named Nepeta.

They all have wildly different tastes in music. Terezi prefers so-called “single-colour songs”, which can be anything from smooth jazz to EDM to heavy metal. (Her playlist is like an acid trip.) Rose likes classical music and dubstep and dubstep remixes of classical music. Vriska likes rock, both classic and alternative. Kanaya prefers show tunes and the like. However, they are all united by a strong distaste for country music.

Rose is learning Alternian so that she can understand what Kanaya, Vriska, and Terezi say behind her back. She already knows what her birthday present is going to be. It’s either a set of golf clubs or a necklace. She’s still pretty shaky on vocabulary.

Kanaya claims she is the sole reason why Rose and Vriska haven’t killed each other yet. (Vriska actually HAS killed Rose, but it was ruled a stupid death. Thank God.)

Terezi hung a stuffed Dirk in effigy in the dining room once. Rose took it down almost immediately, but she took a picture of it first.

Rose is practically nocturnal at this point, given her university studies and the nocturnal habits of her housemates. One time, she stayed up for 53 hours straight. Lots of hallucinations and espresso were involved.

Other than all the clashing caused by the differing personalities, the four young ladies get along surprisingly well. Sometimes, they claim that their time spent on the meteor was training.

#etaccurate #homestuck #headcanon #this has been in my drafts since october #rosemary #vrisrezi #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #terezi pyrope #vriska serket #queue #if you tag this as po/ly I'll rip off your eyelids #the BrOT4

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grandexodus · 4 years

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Deal /Chapter Two / Incantations

Word Count: 2,566

Rating: T

Warnings: Cursing

Summary: Darcy becomes desperate to rid the evil spirit from her home. However, hold habits of ridding demons don’t necessarily work this time around. Darcy finally swallows her pride and calls upon help from a Catholic priest. With full confidence that the priest will put an end to the negative energy, she invites St. Marie Louis into her home with open arms.

Previous Chapter - Chapter One / Blood

Next Chapter- ~

The first streaks of morning light peeked through the cracks of the blinds. Pillows and blankets were strewn across the room. The entity taunting Darcy thought it would be a great idea to continuously interrupt her slumber by removing articles of bedding and tossing them about. After coming to terms with the fact that she would not be catching up on any sleep, Darcy took it upon herself to find a solution to her demon problem.

To rid the grogginess that was fogging up her brain, Darcy brewed herself some coffee. The almost black liquid was made in a lavender mug. Two spoons of sugar and a splash of milk. One, two, three stirs counter-clockwise and the coffee was to the young witch’s desired taste. As she indulged in the semi-sweet beverage, she paced around her flat in hopes of racking her sleep-deprived brain of a way to break the deal and rid the demon from her home. No matter how long and hard she pondered, only one possible solution came to mind: dispose of the board.

With a surge of sudden optimism, Darcy abandoned the half-empty cup of joe and beelined to her room. While her idea was clear, her head was suddenly swarming with thoughts. What if disposing of the board didn’t work? It hadn’t technically worked the first time? The ounce of optimism she had was quickly fading. She traded her sleeping gown for a Ramones shirt, jeans, and chucks. All that was left was to gather the proper items and get to a cemetery. Locating the Ouija board wasn’t at all difficult, but she needed holy water if she was going to do this the right way. She definitely had some. The only problem was remembering where she had stored it. Holy water wasn’t something Darcy found herself using that often. In fact, the only time she had ever used it was when she was fifteen. She had practically torn her flat apart before finding the holy water at the top of her closet.

Greenbriar Cemetery was located a short ten minutes away from Darcy’s flat. Disposing of the spirit board seemed more vital now than it did when she was fifteen. Perhaps it was because she was now fully aware of the danger she had put herself in.

Having walked to the cemetery, Darcy followed the same steps she did with her father when she was fifteen. The spirit board was broken into seven pieces, sprinkled with holy water, and buried under a tree at the back of the cemetery. Darcy was sure to pack down the dirt as best she could manage in hopes that her efforts to rid the burden of being haunted.

Darcy stood up from her position on the ground. She wiped her dirt-covered palms on her jeans and let out a sigh of relief. She had full confidence that burying the Ouija board would rid the demon from her home. Unfortunately, this confidence was short-lived.

Back at her flat, Darcy stopped dead in her tracks at the sight laid out before her. On the coffee table in the living area was none other than the Ouija board she had just buried. The board was fully intact, and the planchette was lying on top of the black stain. Curiosity overcame the young witch, and she soon found herself planted on the couch in front of the board.

“What the hell?” She whispered to herself as she reached out to take hold of the planchette. As soon as her fingertips touched the piece, it began to move violently.

D-E-A-L

“I understand that I made a deal, but quite frankly I’m over it,” Darcy replied.

T-O-O B-A-D

Darcy removed her hands from the planchette, and she closed the board. Though, at this point, she knew it was useless to close the board. The spirit she was dealing with was far too powerful to be withheld. She quickly came to the conclusion that she wouldn’t be able to expel this spirit on her own.

Without hesitation, she returned to the book that she found would offer the most insight, Conjure and Expel: A Witch’s Guide to Summoning Safely. After some extensive reading, the only option became apparent. Darcy needed to find a Catholic priest as soon as she possibly could. Though Darcy had lived in the city for a few months at this point, she still wasn’t very familiar with the area. She only knew of one cathedral, Westbrooke Cathedral.

Having found the cathedral’s number in a phone book, Darcy rang them. A woman answered on the third ring.

“Hello, St. Marie speaking.” The woman had a higher-pitched, yet soothing voice.

“Hello, my name is Darcy Invidia, I’m calling to see if anyone at your church knows how to expel an evil spirit from one’s home?”

“I am willing to stop by the home in question and determine the exorcism would be doable. However, I can’t promise that the spirit will be expelled permanently or at all for that manner. Are you still interested?” St. Marie said, her tone changing from sweet to very serious.

“Yes.”

“Very well. When would you like me to pay a visit?” St. Marie asked.

“Would you be able to come over today?” Darcy asked.

“I’m going to assume you need assistance as soon as possible, yes?” The woman asked.

“Yes.”

“I can be there at five this evening. Do tell me your address.” The woman prompted Darcy to share her home information.

“29 Brier Hill View here in Leeds. I’m in flat number 22 on the second floor. Thank you very much, St. Marie.”

“My pleasure. I’ll see you at five, Darcy.” With that, the call ended. This left Darcy with an hour to kill before her company arrived. With this hour, Darcy decided she would try a last-ditch attempt to rid the entity from her home.

The young witch opened the front door and all of the windows in her flat before lighting a bundle of sage. As she smudged her small home she repeatedly whispered an intention, “Sacred and holy ones, please clear this place of stagnant and negative energy.” She began her smudging at the front door and worked her way to the room farthest from the entrance. When she reached the final room, her bedroom, she began to repeat her intention louder.

“Sacred and holy ones, please clear this place of-” Darcy was cut off by the windows slamming shut, and all doors and drawers in her room flying open. She attempted to continue, “Sacred and holy ones, please,” but she was cut off once again. This time a potted plant flew from the bookshelf and right next to her head before hitting the wall and shattering.

Five o’clock could not come around fast enough.

What felt like ages later, there was a light knock at Darcy’s front door. She practically leaped from the couch to answer it. Upon opening the door she saw a plump, older lady, most likely in her sixties. Her hair was curly and bright white, and she was wearing standard clerical clothing. The only thing the woman had on her person was a brown, leather-bound Bible that appeared to have been well-used. From the looks of it, it appeared that this woman had owned this Bible as long as she had been alive.

“You must be Darcy Invidia?” The higher-pitched, soft voice sounded almost exactly as it did over the phone.

“St. Marie, yes?” she said in turn. The woman merely nodded. “Come in.” Darcy stepped to the side as she invited in the catholic priest. Shutting the door behind her, Darcy led St. Marie to the living room. The two women sat on the couch in front of the coffee table that held the Ouija board.

“During our phone call earlier, you stated that this evil spirit was a result of your use of an Ouija board, and I am assuming that this is the board you used?” The soft voice of the priest changed to stern and serious as though a switch had been flipped.

“Yes, ma’am,” Darcy replied.

“Do tell me what this black mark is.” As St. Marie prompted a reply she reached into the pocket of her jacket and retrieved a wooden cross that seemed to fit perfectly in her hand.

“I was communicating with the spirit. I thought I would be able to get rid of it on my own, but I wasn’t quite sure how. While using the board the entity said that if I made a blood deal it would leave me alone. I wasn’t going to at first, but I wound up doing so. That black mark is where my blood fell onto the board.” Darcy spoke quickly.

“Very well. Are you ready to begin?” St. Marie opened her Bible, holding it in her right hand while the wooden cross was clutched in her left. Darcy nodded in response to the question. “I would like you to open the board and use it as you would normally.” The woman instructed.

Darcy placed her hands on the planchette and circled the board one, two, three times clockwise before asking, “Are there any spirits here?” The piece jerked the girl’s hands up to ‘yes.’

“Please take my hand, Ms. Invidia.”

“With all due respect St. Marie, this is a powerful spirit, and I don’t think it would be in our best interest for me to remove a hand from the planchette,” Darcy stated, halfway expecting the priest to have it her way or no way. However, that wasn’t the case at all as St. Marie, as Darcy found, was accommodating to the situation.

“I understand. That’s quite alright, we will make do. Do your best to keep your hands on the piece as I continue.” Darcy pushed down harder on the planchette to ensure it wouldn’t go flying across the room. St. Marie looked down at her Bible and began to recite an incantation.

“Regna terrae, cantata Deo, psallite Cernunnos, Regna terrae, cantata Dea psallite Aradia. caeli Deus, Deus terrae…” Darcy recognized it as Latin. While this wasn’t the process the young witch was expecting, it definitely seemed to upset the entity that was residing in her home. The planchette didn’t move from its place hovering above ‘yes.’ Instead, it began to vibrate rapidly.

“Humiliter majestati gloriae tuae supplicamus Ut ab omni infernalium spirituum potestate…” As St. Marie continued the planchette stopped vibrating, and it began to slowly move in a familiar figure-eight motion. The movement was almost sluggish as there seemed to be little momentum behind the movement.

“Laqueo, and deceptione nequitia…” The planchette gained such a speed that Darcy was beginning to struggle to keep her hands in place. As the piece sped up, St. Marie’s voice steadily grew louder. “ Exorcizamus you Omnis immundus spiritus Omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio…” With that, all of the lights in the department flickered for a moment. The sight caused St. Marie to stop talking mid-sentence. It was clear she had never had such an experience before. Before either of them could begin to comprehend what was happening, the planchette made one swift move to the black stain at the bottom of the board.

“Close the board, Darcy!” St. Marie practically shouted the demand.

Darcy attempted to push the planchette so that she could do as she was told, but it wouldn’t budge. “I can’t close it, it’s stuck.” She lifted her hands from the board and the lights stopped flickering immediately.

St. Marie slammed her Bible shut and stood up, “Darcy, I am afraid this spirit is far outside of my realm of expertise. I’m unable to help you, but best of luck.” With that, St. Marie found her way out of the haunted home. Darcy was left sitting on her couch at a loss for words.

She sat in silence without moving a muscle for a few moments before placing her elbows on her knees and pressing the palms of hands onto her eyes. After a few deep breaths, Darcy looked up and saw the planchette moving between two letters repeatedly.

H-A-H-A-H-A-H-A

“Oh, come off it!” She snapped.

Darcy could only think of one other possible solution to this problem. She had to contact the darkest witch she knew, her father. With an exasperated sigh, she swallowed her pride and rang her father. He answered on the first ring.

“Hello, dear. How have you been settling in?” A familiar deep voice echoed through the phone.

“I’m nearly there. Hey, I’ve got a silly hypothetical question.” Darcy was eager to get straight to the point so that the conversation could be over.

“Okay.” Odin’s response came out as more of a question. It was clear he was apprehensive about the conversation to come.

“Let’s say I have a friend who has been dabbling in witchcraft, and she stupidly made a deal with an entity.”

“Darcy.” She was cut off before she could continue to set the scene. “I wasn’t born yesterday, this isn’t a hypothetical situation. Did you summon a demon and proceed to make a deal with it?” While he was primarily disappointed, there was a tone of rage laced beneath his words. Darcy was silent.

There was a sigh from the other end of the line, “Was it a blood deal?” Again, Darcy was silent. “God dammit, Darcy! I would have thought you would have learned your lesson by now. Did you not remember what happened the first time you used an Ouija board? Had you forgotten just how awful it was for you when the first one attached itself to you, and know you’ve gone and made a bloody deal? What were you thinking?” Odin’s voice was raised, but he wasn’t yelling by any means. He wanted his daughter to be safe, and that safety had been compromised.

“Listen, I understand I should have thought it through before I did it, but it was a rash decision. It was a last-ditch effort to get the thing to leave me alone. I’ve tried getting a priest to break the deal and expel the thing, but she said it was too powerful. She left before she could even finish the incantation. I’m at a loss.” Darcy explained. The line was so quiet it was hard to tell if Odin was still there, “Hello?”

“Darcy,” He began, his tone rather austere, “I love you. I want you to be safe, but unfortunately, you’re stuck with the deal you’ve made. There’s no way out of this one.”

“Well, surely you’ve made similar mistakes before? There has to be something I can do.” She was becoming more desperate by the second.

“I’m afraid not.” A hint of sympathy flickered between her father’s words.

Silence fell between them for a moment before Darcy spoke, “Don’t tell mom, yet.” She was aware that she made a mistake, and she had done everything in her power to fix it. At this point, Darcy couldn’t bear a lecture from her mother.

“I’ll do my best, but you know how your mother is. She knows when information is being hidden from her.” He let out a chuckle in hopes of lightening the mood.

“I know.” Darcy returned the chuckle, however, there was a weight upon her chest that was unshakable. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Be careful, and don’t make rash decisions anymore.”

“Deal.” Darcy acceded.

#Deal #severus snape #snape fanfic #severus snape fanfic #hp #harry potter #harry potter fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #hogwarts #grandexodus deal #grandexodus #grandexodus writes

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