#arbitrary abyss

[gen-is-gone]

#megan whines into the empty abyss of cyberspace #relatedly fuck this waste of a country's arbitrary fucking caps on restricted drug manufacture btw

[artbyblastweave]

The process by which Invincible has had to condense and consolidate the plot beats of the original comic, coupled with the opportunity it's granted the writers to tighten up and emphasize its themes on a second pass, has resulted in a newfound appreciation for how unbelievably fucking good Angstrom Levy's whole character concept is. What's that, Mark? Your main emotional crisis this season is your fear of turning out like your father? Here, have an archnemesis who's out to kill you because his memories were inadvertently overwritten with the lived experiences of hundreds of alternate versions of himself whose friends and families were slaughtered in worlds where you did, in fact, turn out exactly like your father. Because it turns out that that is in fact the multiversal norm. That you turn out like your father. And now you're left to wonder what set of arbitrary coinflips pulled you back from that abyss in this dimension, and whether your luck is going to continue to hold into the future.

#invincible #invincible amazon #thoughts #meta #angstrom levy #Mark Grayson #this is present in the text of the comic but much better articulated in the show

[headspace-hotel]

I hope I can express this properly and sensitively, but I think oftentimes people need to have Categories and Identities and to be healthily exploratory and playful and elastic about them, else they can get vulnerable to some negative things, sometimes really awful things

I wish I could remember where I read it, but there was something that wrote about whiteness in America as an abyss.

Whiteness is something that sheltered white Americans' ancestors, and at the same time devoured them. They used to have a distinct medley of heritages: Irish, German, Scottish, Italian. "Whiteness" ate it up, the languages, the cultures. There were privileges if you destroyed it, and punishments if you held onto anything that was "Other." In a white supremacist society, white people wanted to be "white" first before any other possible identity or connection they could have.

Yay! You're white. You're on top. You win...what? Turns out the prize for "winning" is just that you get to perpetrate the violence of the game instead of being on the receiving end of it.

And that's the nasty twist—there is no prize. The deeply embedded vice of "Southern pride" is not just what the Confederate flag stands for, but also why they've got to cling so hard to that symbol of traitors and losers: they need to be on top of something so bad that even a pile of shit will do. My ancestors were ultimately dirt poor, loads of them ending up in prison or breaking their bodies down doing hard labor, but they were white. Their reward, and their pride, was being stepped on by the violence of poverty only, instead of also by the violence of white supremacy.

"White pride" is all about hate because white supremacy didn't give these folks anything to be proud of. It stripped away the culture and heritage their ancestors had in favor of "whiteness." All those jokes about how white people have no culture, well, it's true isn't it? This shit is how we ended up a primarily monolingual nation. And what looks like happened is that white Americans wound up just...scavenging most of their culture from those they oppressed. Food, music, all of that stuff. Our white ancestors didn't GIVE us anything that was their own to start with.

And this is something that really strikes me about the white supremacist and fascist movements nowadays: the starvation and hollowness behind them. These folks are empty inside. They were given nothing by white supremacy except a very vague sense that they deserve something, and they see people of all different cultures celebrating and flourishing in their unique heritages and identities, and they feel like...they've been cheated.

Equality is so threatening when you're in this situation because it feels like you've got less than everyone else at the end of the day. Not just because of comparison to previous privileges, but because your whole identity was "person that gets to step on everybody else" and your whole inheritance was "shit stolen from everybody else" and in a world where all is set right, you have no identity and nothing. You are nothing.

Anyway I was looking just now at a blog that seemed really white-supremacist-leaning and it was 99% about like, Norse and Proto-Indo-European paganism and "traditionalism" and that's what got me thinking about this again.

This person had apparently done DNA tests on themselves or something, and were really fixated on figuring out their Norse and Germanic ancestors and separating out their genetic and racial identity at a level of precision that seems really pointless that far back in time. And honestly all the paganism stuff seemed like totally arbitrary speculation as well.

And how to become satisfied as a person like this? I am just as much Germanic or Norse as they are, but I don't believe that distant ancestors determine who you are to such an extent that I have some sort of innate cultural tie to Vikings or Visigoths or what have you. I know what percentage Celtic or Anglo Saxon or Norse I am—zero. I learned about those things in books the exact same way I learned about all the cultures and past kingdoms of the world that I presumably don't have ancestors from.

I feel like the experience of being a baby ally and obsessing about apologizing for being white is the same kind of thing in another direction, or another outcome of the same process. Some people seem to get really twisted up for a time over how to stop being guilty about being white.

It's part of the same thing as this guy who is trying to genetically identify his ancestors from like 3,000 years ago. It's the emptiness and meaninglessness of "white" identity apart from white supremacy.

I talk about deradicalization sometimes and I've had the notion a few times that fascism appeals to people who are hollow and starving in terms of identity, and if it wasn't for the sense of emptiness and hunger, they would be less easily radicalized. But it's also a little bit awkward to talk about the deeply unsatisfying nature of white supremacy, because...well, that is pretty low on the list of things bad about white supremacy.

I think this concept is worth talking about in general, though: People want to feel like they come from or are part of something meaningful. They are drawn toward Identities and Categories and Belonging to groups. This is something I think is commonly true about humans, I think it is normal and not a bad thing, and I think we could stand to be a little more upfront about its reality.

I think this means that wanting, and seeking, a sense of cultural identity as a white person (particularly an American) needs to have some kind of non-horrible outlet for it. Because right now, it's nothing but a way to get radicalized, and the dominant other option people take (becoming the Guilty White Person) is liked by no one and helps nothing.

And maybe it doesn't need to have anything to do with race or culture or your ancestors or any of these things that can lead a person down such terrible paths. Maybe more of us should be furries!

As just another thing to consider, I'm reading the book Ecology of a Cracker Childhood and the author of the book uses the word "cracker" not like, with the gravity of reclaiming a "slur" or something like that, but seemingly because that is just the word she most strongly identifies with, the word that best articulates who "her people" are. This feels very solid and levelheaded to me, something that comes from someone with a good sense of themselves.

Personally I've thought a long time that more people should reclaim "redneck." Not in the sense of reclaiming a slur exactly, but in the sense of putting it in neutral usage among the folks it always referred to, instead of letting it increasingly be associated with any Southerner (regardless of working class background) that is the sort to wave a Confederate flag around. The very idea of gatekeeping "redneck" away from racists is just absolutely hilarious to me, I won't lie.

#random #identity #whiteness #i doubt anyone asked for an essay from a white southerner about race #but this is just what im thinking about tonight

[tossawary]

I do like the headcanon that it was Shen Yuan's teaching and tips that inadvertently helped Luo Binghe get through the Endless Abyss faster. Accidentally fucking himself over in a way because he cares for Luo Binghe too much is just sooooo him.

I do think there are other elements that may have helped Luo Binghe through the Endless Abyss faster. When I was making that post on a way that the heavenly demon seals might work, based on the implications in the quotes I was taking down, I formed the headcanon that the Black Moon Rhinoceros-Python in PIDW may have only partially broken the seal on Luo Binghe's demon side, potentially denying him full access to his powers and causing him pain and damage, until he could reach the Xin Mo sword and use its dimension-slicing powers to remove the last remnants of the seal. Whereas in SVSSS, Mobei-Jun, with his own special Endless-Abyss-summoning abilities, apparently ripped the seals off of Luo Binghe immediately and potentially more cleanly.

(Arguably, a sudden removal could be an even worse shock, causing a clash between spiritual systems, and causing even more pain and damage until the Xin Mo sword could be used to soothe the effects. You can come up with fun consequences either way, PIDW or SVSSS, to get the angsty headcanons that you want to explore!)

Anyway, I was thinking about the idea that... maybe SVSSS Luo Binghe making it through the Endless Abyss faster doesn't necessarily mean he's more powerful...?

Like, if we're imagining that Shen Yuan's teachings allowed SVSSS Luo Binghe to perform something like a speedrun to the Xin Mo sword (which is extremely funny to contemplate), then through sheer experience (a couple more years to cultivate/develop in the hellscape grinding level), it's not unreasonable to imagine that PIDW Luo Binghe exiting the Endless Abyss may have been significantly more powerful or at least significantly more dangerous than SVSSS Luo Binghe exiting the Endless Abyss.

(Although, even if both Binghes were the same power level, based on personality differences and goals, then Mobei-Jun's first encounter with SVSSS Binghe would be extremely different to his first encounter with PIDW Binghe regardless.)

I am currently enjoying the idea of SVSSS Luo Binghe almost immediately encountering Mobei-Jun upon exiting the Endless Abyss, having a rematch of their battle at the Immortal Alliance Conference, and then Luo Binghe losing that fight.

OP power levels are so arbitrary. I don't think it's unreasonable that even pre-ascension Mobei-Jun could (after getting pretty beat up himself, maybe) kick a young, undeveloped heavenly demon's ass. Just because Binghe has the Xin Mo sword doesn't necessarily mean that he knows how to use it. Mobei-Jun is at least 20 years older than Binghe, with potentially a great deal more training and battle experience in the Demon Realm, and depending on how you imagine his abyss and ice powers, he's potentially capable of some extremely dangerous and dirty tricks to preserve his own life.

So, like, let's say that Mobei-Jun manages to pull ahead in this fight, disarms Luo Binghe, and then throws the Xin Mo sword through a portal back into the Endless Abyss because he has no interest in keeping such a cursed thing for himself. He could just kill the seething half-demon on the ground in front of him with three broken limbs, before the heavenly demon heals up and tries to kill him again, but Shang Qinghua (who has been here THE WHOLE TIME) (who has been having a VERY BAD TIME trying desperately to stay out of the line of fire) (who didn't want to be in the Demon Realm in the first place when he's still trying to keep his cover, but he needed something for the Sun-Moon Dew Mushroom and Mobei-Jun to help him get it) Shang Qinghua says that Mobei-Jun can't just kill this boy for some reason. Holy shit, do not kill him! DO NOT! (It might break the fucking world, shit, what the fuck, what is happening...!)

And listening to Shang Qinghua has saved Mobei-Jun's skin on a number of occasions, so that's it! Apparently, he can't just kill this boy. Admittedly, he is mildly impressed by the boy's tenacity, but, like, the boy is obviously suffering poor effects from the sword's curse, may or may not be possessed by the Elder Dream Demon, and desperately wants to kill him. He's a fixer-upper, for sure.

So, like... now what?

#tossawary svsss #mobei jun #luo binghe #shang qinghua #pidw luo binghe #fic ideas #spoilers

[mosquito-queen]

“you have a freckle here,” kate’s mouth ghosts a soft spot along yelena’s spine, “did you know that?”

no.

something drops in yelena’s stomach, imitating the adrenaline from a free fall. she focuses on the hot breath warming her skin. squeezes her eyes shut. tries to count to some arbitrary number until she doesn’t feel the need to crawl out of her skin.

“and here.” this time kate presses her mouth into the curve of her back. and yelena lets out a breath she didn’t mean to be holding.

it comes out shaky. catches like spines in the back of her throat. she coughs at the dryness.

lying here in the summer night heat, in kate’s mess of a room, in kate’s bed that smells too much like her, tangled in kate’s blanket, kate’s hands skating down her arm, kate’s breath hot on her shoulder now. kate. kate. kate knowing her.

it’s too intimate. too vulnerable.

she doesn’t want anyone outside of herself to be aware of her. she’s suppose to be a shadow. a bad omen. the boogeyman. the last thing seen before the eternity of death.

whatever is the opposite of kate bishop tracing the constellations on her back. she is an abyss. not something to stargaze.

but kate is leaving a messy trail across her shoulder, “no freckles here, though.” she’s humming, soft, so very fucking soft.

yelena feels herself stiffening, her mind racing, the panic rising with the taste of bile. she wants to scour her skin of kate bishop. no. she wants kate bishop to remove any trace of her. because what is she but a ghost? a resurrected memory. nothing nothing nothing. no one ever stays.

no one -

there is a small squeeze just above her elbow, a tugging, a worry. draws her slightly out of the fog settling inbetween her eyes. she pulls away on instinct and kate releases. gives it a second. because yelena always comes back.

and she does. rolls over with a sigh, rubs the side of her face into the pillow and looks at kate. no, looks is too soft. she’s staring, searching for something that neither of them can show in this singular moment.

“hey,” kate brings her hand up, wants to touch and feel and ground herself; she wants to hold and never let go because she’s terrified of yelena disappearing (again and again and again; she always comes back, but god, what kate would give for her to never leave in the first place); yelena hasn’t flinched away so kate places her hand soft on the side of her face, strokes her thumb over her jaw, “don’t go where i can’t follow.”

something sparks in those lonely eyes, something brims, and pushes yelena over the edge. another shaky breath. she moves closer, her forehead bumping against kate’s, until they’re sharing the same breath, “i- i am… scared that there isn’t place you will not attempt to cross,” her voice is a whisper, “and what if you can’t get out?”

“then don’t go there.”

“cheeky.”

and their skin is sticking together, yelena’s eyelashes fluttering butterfly kisses against kate as she can’t help but adjust herself closer, and kate is pressing her mouth soft, so fucking soft, against the top of yelena’s head. and they don’t talk about the blip, or the red room, or natasha, or the way the world is a spitfire of mean that tends to take yelena away from herself. that she never had the choice to leave out of her own right. and now that she can, she’s barely ever here in this room, in this bed, in this embrace. if she can leave first then nothing can take kate. it’s yelena’s choice.

they don’t talk about it being the wrong choice.

not yet. not right now.

not when yelena is asking kate to hold her, not when she’s wishing, not when she’s dreaming about something that doesn’t end in destruction. not when she’s thinking that maybe this time she’ll stay. if it only means kate won’t follow her into the dark.

so when kate says in that small, nervous voice, “will you be here in the morning?”

yelena surprises them both: “yes.”

#bishova #kate x yelena #bishlova #kate bishop #yelena belova

[arpmemething2]

Batman the Animated Series sentence starters

Send one for my muse’s reaction.  Feel free to change pronouns as needed.

"All right, scum bucket, it's you, me, and thirty stories. You're gonna tell me exactly what I want to know."

"That's one way to remove a splinter."

"I have this natural immunity against poisons, toxins, the pain and suffering of others. Go figure."

"I failed you. I wish there were another way for me to say it. I cannot. I can only beg your forgiveness, and pray you hear me somehow, someplace... someplace where a warm hand waits for mine."

"Last time we met, you tried to throw me off a building."

"If you think I've been bad news before..."

"Old and infirm as you are, I'd trade a thousand of my frozen years for your worst day."

"What kind of a saboteur uses a six-thousand dollar Metronex to set a time bomb?"

"I never counted on being happy."

"A strong mind can fuel a frail body."

"I need a new car."

"There's no way you could have escaped from that explosion! How did you get out?"

"I'm gettin' too old for this."

"I suppose what they say is true: society is to blame. High society."

"Succumb to the fear!"

"Gee, it's amazing the things you find in people's glove compartments."

"Children and guns do not mix. Ever."

"I'm having a BAD DAY! I'm sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over or blow me up!"

"They're not stupid, and it's your party."

"Aren't they just the cutest family you've ever seen?"

"It's midnight darling, time to unmask."

"It's gonna be one of those nights."

"When you look too long into the abyss, the abyss looks back through you."

"If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?"

"You've got to admit there's something between us."

"There's always time to heal."

"I didn't realize you'd taken up listening to rock and roll."

"Choosing a weekend date?"

"I don't believe in fate."

"An entire city screaming in fear. I wonder if we'll be able to hear it."

"Some thought I'd gone mad. Others thought I always had been. And so they put me where they thought I belonged."

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no tales."

"This city would fall apart without you!"

"I love that trick but I can never make it work."

"Taking up video games, are we?"

"I hate it when he does that."

"You are strong... but not strong enough!"

"They don't make straight jackets like they used to. I should know."

"He's not samurai. He's NINJA. They're spies and assassins. Their only code is to get the job done."

"A pixel is worth a thousand words."

"I am vengeance! I am the night!!"

"And who says opera has to be boring?"

"He always knew how to make an exit."

"Hey! Do I hit your kids? Oh, actually I do..."

"Now boys, didn't your mommies teach you that's not the way to get a lady's attention?"

"Not the robot theory again."

"Freeze, maggots! You're all under arrest!"

"You said you'd never let me go home!"

"What was she before she went bonkers?"

"This used to be a beautiful street. Good people lived here once."

"'Tis better to have loved and lost, and made a small profit, than never to have loved at all!"

"Chance is everything. Whether you're born or not, whether you live or die, whether you're good or bad. It's all arbitrary."

"But you've forgotten the first rule of comedy: if you have to explain the joke... THEN IT ISN'T FUNNY!"

"I told you not to speak!"

"Coming through! Hot stuff!"

"The snow is beautiful, don't you think? Clean, uncompromising..."

"When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping."

"What a pleasant surprise. Though I should warn you - breaking and entering is against the law."

"This could cause a stampede to pork."

"You really know how to put the fun in funeral."

"You ought to put your toys away."

"Would not, could not... would not, could not... oh, could not join the dance."

"Home. I never thought that could sound so good."

"Then I'll see you in your nightmares!"

"As the Bard said, "the fault lies not in our stars, but in ourselves.""

"You know what I'd have given for a death scene like this. Too bad I won't get to read the notices."

"He's a little protective of all this. I think he likes bats better than people."

"All your power and money has bought you an empire of misery."

"Don't try this at home kids!"

"I feel ill."

"Well, that was fun! Now, who's for Chinese?"

"You're about to fall out of orbit."

"Why can't he ever stay dead?"

"They can bury me in the ground, as deep as they like. But I'll grow back. We always grow back. Don't we, baby?"

"All men have something to hide. The brighter the picture, the darker the negative."

"You thought I was just another bubble-headed blond bimbo! Well, the joke's on you, 'cause I'm not even a real blonde."

"When the wage slaves start acting like they own the place, it's time to pull the plug."

"I've been known to be foolish, but ain't nobody calls me a liar and goes to bed happy."

"Since you don't like my side-splitters, how 'bout a skull-splitter?"

"This is kidnapping, mister! Last time I checked, it was highly illegal!"

[dsknsk]

I feel like the very concept of E.G.O Corrosion isn't talked enough about (maybe due to their hair nearly always remaining) but just stop and realize how creepy it is.

So, picture the following.

You are going into battle, together with your allies. Both you and them are armed and skilled, even if you don't always know what you will be facing. For emergency cases, your superior has given you something called E.G.O. And to gain it, you had to come into contact with...something. Something clearly not human. Something that you don't fully understand, but you know that it behaves with a totally different logic and morality than what you consider familiar. They call it an 'Abnormality', after all.

But somehow, you resonated with it. It was like something from deep inside of you accepted it. Like you felt what it felt. Maybe it was its struggles that particularly moved you. Or just everything it stood for.

You don't know. Either way, it resulted in you being able to synchronize with it, just for a moment, transforming you to draw out its powers to fight with. It's like a short while that you cooporate, it agreeing with you just for a moment.

And yes, it talks to you.

Usually, it's in the background and you can easily drown it out with your own thoughts. And you only talk back when you're using E.G.O. But it's there. You feel a bit mentally drained after using E.G.O too, so you prefer not to use it too often.

At first, the fight goes just about okay. You start to think that you'll get this cleared together anytime soon. Your allies are fighting next to you, and everytime they happen to win a clash, your mind brightens up a little, boosting your own confidence in turn.

But then.

One of your allies fails a clash, and their punishment is harsh. The enemy doesn't seem to stop their assault on them, staggering them and beating them into a pulp. And then, you've lost them.

You know that in the end, you'll all be brought back, but it nonetheless takes a toll on you. Your mind blurs, and you find yourself losing your focus much more often. At the very least, you see that your allies aren't doing so well, either.

It doesn't take long before things go from bad to worse, and your mind can't take it anymore. The voice of the Abnormality you resonated with rings in your head still, but now, you can't bring yourself to suppress it anymore. Your mind is too weary to do such a thing.

So you allow for it to swallow you whole.

Your consciousness falls into a dark abyss, your body warping as the Abnormality takes over, speaking through your mouth, with your voice. You've lost all common sense and couldn't care less for arbitrary things like 'ally' or 'enemy'. Why do they matter, anyway? You can't bring yourself to think about it.

So you lash out. You let it lead for you, letting it run wild with free reign. Your body is changed, cruelly contorted into...something that they stare at in horror. The cries and desperate shouts of those around you don't reach you anymore. It's all clouded over, until...

You're back.

Still in a daze but also not, you feel that you can think for yourself again. You're not doing great, but you're not going off the deep end like just then either. You now know what you just did - the looks on your allies' faces tell you enough. And even now the voice is back to being just slight background noise, your acts just then will always feel like it was on some level, your own.

There's no time to think about that, though. For the battle hasn't yet ended.

#limbus company #yes i think abnos talk to the wielders of their ego #weve read it in kalis book in ruina #and in the same game the abno associated text appears above the nugget head when you choose them for an abno page

[yandere-daydreams]

(This ask might have spoilers)

Childe, Diluc (and I believe Kaeya) DO have canon ages. Crepus died on Diluc’s 18th birthday (and Kaeya is supposed to be the same age) then left mondstat for 4 years before he came back. (He returned only after varka left and his expedition ((6 months)) has not yet ended in game but started before the traveler arrived)

Childe fell into the abyss at 14, joined the fatui sometime after that, became the youngest harbinger at 18. I don’t remember where I saw it but I believe he’s held that title for about 4 years now (it might be in his character story or voice overs)

i'm willing to believe that you're probably right and acknowledge that i am not the kind of person who's dug through enough lore not to take your word for it, but TO ME diluc will always be a childless dilf in his mid-forties who still hasn't grown out of his goth phase and kaeya is simultaneously the same age but also 35 and struggling to accept that his liver just doesn't work like it used to. childe is definitely 22 tho. that fits inside of the completely arbitrary parameters i've established.

#personal #anon ask

[arcane-abomination]

I recommend reading my blog on Void Magick before this one. As it explains the basics of Void that will not be covered here. This may cause some readers to be a little lost.

Leviathan’s Guidance

This information on the void was presented to me when I descended into a deep gnosis to make contact with lord Leviathan. He taught me the construction of the void and helped me to understand its makeup a little better. This seemed to be the missing piece I’ve heard many people talk about when traversing the void. And while it still holds truth that the void’s appearance is reflected in the individuals own perspective, it’s still important to understand the general structure of this vastly mysterious space.

I have taken the liberty to attribute my own terminology to each part that was shown to me in an attempt to bring further understanding and much easier categorization to the plains themselves, but you’re free to disregard these terms if they don’t suit you. In all there are 3, categorized by the upper, middle and lower spaces represented by the colors White, Grey, and Black. Now, please take note that these colors are rather arbitrary in the long run as each level presents itself uniquely to the individual. These are simply the product of my own journey, what appeared to me and thus how I label and associate the structure of the void that I experienced.

The Atherial Plain

We begin in the upper level I call the Atherial plain. Aptly named because it’s associated with the color white. While in this plain it appeared to me as though I was walking in the sky. It was bright, with clouds beneath me and around me. And all manner of things hung in the air, moving and shining without constitution or purpose. At least none that I could see. Stars, planets, comets, orbs, and a multitude of other items and creatures to unique to accurately convey in words, shimmering and shifting endlessly. There was no rest here, no silence. There was noise, endless whispers in the wind, music in the distance, and the random bustle of the many object’s collisions with one another. It was beautiful but intense. An energy compelling me to take action, not to wait or calculate. Just simply do without thought or meaning. This is the realm of everything and all things. Of motion, sound & fullness.

The Abyssal Plain

Or next stop is the lowest level, I call the Abyssal plain. You descend downwards into this place, into the vastness of an empty space. The association here is the color black, and all manner of silence, quiet contemplation, and letting go completely hang in the air. Energy here compells you to empt yourself of all things, and simply wait. All around me was blackness, a deep black that went beyond the understanding of simple darkness. Beneath my feet was an ink-colored ocean. Still, and calm, but full of power and strength laying in wait. It was from this ocean that lord Leviathan arose and greeted me, teaching me of the void’s structure. You see, like most people, it was this realm I came to first, like most people do. In fact it was the only real I had ever come to, until my work with Leviathan began.

It seems most of us who work with the void descend down into the abyss and the reason for this is simple. As mortal beings our subconscious has been taught that when we go up we come down. Gravity is always pulling at us. So, when we enter into the void, we can unconsciously descend, especially when we are overwhelmed with the intensity the void can bring. Once inside that comfortable place of familiarity it can be hard to ascend, especially since naturally speaking, falling down is easier than climbing up.

All in all, the energy of this realm beckoned me to listen, to wait, and patiently calculate my next move. It’s a plain completely opposite of its upper Aetherial counterpart. A realm of Stillness, Silence, and emptiness.

The Echo Plain

This was the final plain I visited, named the Echo plain, represented as the color Grey. It’s a special plain, a space full of liminal energy from the overlapping of the upper and lower plains. It was the most intense of the three, resembling a foggy wasteland with the faint light of the Atherial floating high above and the deep darkness of the abyss far below. The ground was as reflective as a mirror yet as clear as a window, that rippled like water wherever I took step. It was a confusing place, a space at which energy contradicted itself. It wanted me in motion and stillness, silent and loud, empty and full all at once. I felt like I was being pulled apart and smooshed together at the same time. It was confusing and overwhelming, but then…in a single moment, all the pieces fell into place.

Before me stood a group of creatures. Both beautiful and hideous all at once. I understood almost immediately what they were. Epithets…epithets of myself. Bits and pieces of who I was represented before me in kind. Some smiled warmly, some grimaced, and others showed no emotions at all. We did not speak to one another…we didn’t need to. But it was from that brief acknowledgment that I understood. This was the realm of reflection. A space where the conscious and subconscious became one, echos of one being existing in symbolic detachment from itself. None of us looked the same and yet we were. All knowing and understanding yet complete strangers to each other.

This is the space of contemplation and action. A realm in which one could truly reach into themselves and strengthen, build, heal, and empower in every way imaginable. A space not many seemed to know existed. Ascending and descending past it in their journeys through the void. It’s a testament to our need to learn quickly, and our unfocused and often misplaced goals. Sometimes we need to stop and look inward, to truly meet ourselves head on.

In Conclusion

The void is a wonderfully powerful and mysterious place. How these realms look to you and what you feel will ultimately be tied to your own perspective. How one sees the void isn’t always how another does. The lower realm may appear white to some instead of black. What makes it the abyss is not its color but it’s emptiness. How one acknowledges and uses that emptiness is always going to be unique to them.

#paganism #witchcraft #pagans of tumblr #chaos magician #chaos magick #eldritch magic #witches of tumblr #void magic #void magick #the void screams back #void state #screaming into the void #leviathan #lord leviathan

[ineffectualdemon]

Its interesting to me that the villian in SVSSS isn't a person

Like sure a lot of characters do fucked up shit or are scummy

Shen Qingqiu (original goods)

The old palace master

Tianlang-Jun

Even Luo Binghe play the part of the antagonist at some point

Even Shen Qingqiu (transmigrator edition) plays that role sometimes (the abyss)

But in reality there is only one real antagonist through out the book:

It's the System

The system fucking terrorises Shen Qingqiu from the moment he transmigrates.

It forces him to still be mean to Luo Binghe in order to not go OOC despite the fact that it must know everyone immediately realised something weird was up with him and put it down to memory loss

It forces him to shove Binghe into the abyss

the scenarios pushers and dialogue options that come without enough information attached

The arbitrary points given and taken away

The punishments

Like everything really bad happens because of the system

And that's not even getting into the fact that it repeatedly offered the jade token as an option to Shen Qingqiu when he wouldn't have actually been able to use it

The system wants him to fill loopholes but also punishes his actions

So the antagonist of SVSSS is an amorphous being that can only be perceived by the main character and who ultimately gets what it wanted

The System wanted the story to change and it did. The System I feel wanted to be a dick to Shen Qingqiu about it at the same time and it got that

The antagonist won

And it's so unusual that the antagonist winning directly led to the main character getting a happily ever after

Idk I just find that super interesting

#this also works with my theory that the system was created by sometbing mixing a bit of airplane and his laptop as he died #because to their OCs the author is always the real antagonist #svsss #the system #svsss meta #shen qingqiu #airplane shooting towards the sky #shang qinghua

[narwhalandchill]

a bit more serious/negative note on childes characterization and fandom perception, saw a post where the tone upset me quite a bit

i did do a whole vent/rant/cathartic 2.4k words of writeup on this yesterday which like did help clear my thoughts a lot but in hindsight is way too long to just release by itself so i suppose ill just summarize my thinking now

so i would really appreciate it if a certain subset of childe fans reading his character a specific way (the trauma, identity crisis, dark abyss experiences, etc. - you know the one) could stop acting as if its this like. superior canon proven hoyo intended most real and intellectual way to look at his character and interpret his narrative. as opposed to just one reading of the canon material among others. and im sure most people are civil but ive seen this tone enough to just need to get this off my chest rn.

like im not "missing" something or being "tricked" (what?) by childe or the narrative. its not some naive ignorance about this reading being a thing and the ways people argue for it. ive read his lore. p much memorized it rly. and i simply did not find the arguments that compelling or feel that inserting this additional layer of subjective interpretation atop my understanding of the canon text did much to enhance childes narrative potential or characterization for me.

simply put. applying this super strict irl psychology logic (bc yes a real 14 yo going thru some irl version of ajax' backstory would get severe psychological disturbances as p much given. i know what the DSM-V is) to fantasy game characters isnt how i enjoy engaging with childe or any character really.

genshin is a fantasy game and fantasy as a genre has always readily sidestepped things like realistic psychological consequences of various heavy experiences in favor of building a compelling narrative whenever necessary. i dont find arguments relating to irl psychology particularly relevant at all on the subject really. if you enjoy this approach, go on, have fun! but please understand that its an interpretation that people can disagree without being "wrong" or failing some arbitrary reading comprehension test.

like the dismissive tone i see from people who simply cannot comprehend that like no, this take isnt some universal truth of hoyos that every person will glean from reading up on childes lore and appearances if theyre big brain and intellectual enough is just... really fucking rude? and alienating.

im not going to go on a like whole ramble on all the things that i personally see very much as hinting towards childes characterization going quite a different direction than this popular heavy self-doubt, psychological angle would suggest. its my interpretation after all, and could be proven wrong the way any interpretation can. but for now ive read his lore for years and looked into every single tidbit that involves him and so far hoyos writing of him hasnt given me any convinving case for changing my view drastically anytime soon. and id just like to be allowed to exist in this fandom space without being randomly jumpscared by posts alleging im reducing his character to this or that just bc i see his greatest narrative potential elsewhere.

theres enough insane shit and incredibly interesting lore relating to his overall role in the story and the cosmic scale of teyvat as a whole to be invested in already. like taking childes character as depicted to us and how in-game content characterizes him at a relative face value as opposed to seeking an implied internal struggle of sth hidden and repressed is me simply finding that take the most unique, fascinating, horrifying, compelling and exciting way to see him instead. thats what i love about him and his character. like im sorry, in my eyes the dark past corrupting innocence and trauma angle has just been done to death already in media. childe can have something actually different and breaking those tropes is what makes him stand out for me!

anyway. this whole situation is not sth i wanna start flaming ppl for or make into some drama, i try my best to stay on my lane and let ppl live even if i disagree w these sorta takes on childe. and i just wish for that grace to be extended towards myself too.

#like this attitude literally drove me off genshin fandom and childe content one time already im just tired #im sorry this got so negative but man. #and like do not fucking make this into a debate on whose interpretation wins im talking about basic respect. i WILL block you #rambles #genshin #childeposting #long post

[mkcannothelpyou]

interlusio (Abyssal Hunters)

AK/Kinktober 2023, Day 11: “Symbiote”

It is not that Gladiia has never conceived of it.

Landwalkers by Oripathy are blighted; she by blood is bound. A welt developed there upon her side; now pushed under, it remains lesser than a welt, suppressed by liefsome technological advancements. Her blood itself, now bound in return.

As her Hunters envelop her, as they close upon her naked neck, she recalls with great distaste a dream.

Her blood became flesh. Gladiia lived a hollow body and naught flowed through her, her knee cold against the floor in an empty court.

On her shone a spotlight. The comedy was her. The scene was established and faded. She could only kneel before it, and it writhed before her.

It writhed at her throat and disgusted her. It writhed at her jaw and disgusted her. It writhed at her nostrils and disgusted her. It writhed at her eyes.

It writhed at her ears and revulsed her. It writhed at her ramus and revulsed her. It writhed at her nape and revulsed her. It writhed at her epidermis, cervicalia, thoracicae, lumbaria, each and every of the foramina through which her nerves punctured the sacrum in her loins.

It writhed at her breast and sickened her. It writhed at her sternum and sickened her. It writhed at her interior chest and sickened her. It writhed at her aorta, through her ventricle, through her atrium, vile flesh slipping counter about her heart.

It writhed into her pulmonaries and filled her. It writhed into her air sacs and filled her. It writhed into her lobes and filled her. It writhed into her bronchi, upwards through her trachea, upwards through her larynx, upwards through her oral and nasal cavities, and out through her entrances.

It writhed into her oesophagus and sealed her. It writhed into her stomach and sealed her. It writhed into her small intestine and sealed and sealed and sealed her. It writhed into her ascending, then her transverse, then her descending, then her sigmoid, then shot down with great satisfied ferocity as though it could not fill her any further and plunged through her exit and sealed her.

Blood became flesh. Flesh became occupant. Occupant became one. She was bloodless. She was her occupant. She was replete.

Her chambers hosted flesh. Her arteries hosted flesh. Her veins hosted flesh. She was twined into a new state of lifeform, carbon in sublime configuration latent with eternal reconfiguration, unbeating and unabating.

It had left only one intactness in her. There was the one place Gla-dia had effected no change.

Broodmother.

"Captain? You're not all there," the voice of Shark chides, cooing at Gladiia's ear.

Ah. It is her Hunters' warmths, Skadi, Laurentina, Andreana, that caress sharingly, lovingly over her body as she reclines here. She soaks in the sensation of care, of bodily instincts strung down from higher, infinitely more arbitrary, complex, human sets of directives. Of selves that love each other in selfish ways.

She has conceived of this, entertained the possibility. But she has never, admittedly, entertained believing it would come. She is so, so very lucky, and it makes her mind quiver that she might be feeling this luckiness too.

"Shark," Gladiia snaps.

"Yes?" she responds, pulling away from her ear, listening.

"I trust you remember what 'fingers' means."

And Shark sing-songs her way to between Gladiia's legs, and her five digits press together to make her hand one sleek thickness, and it presses into Gladiia and lights up her cunt and her brain with another feeling, the pleasure of her subordinate's fingers exploring and caressing and widening her wet folds and the two that flank her playing at her clit and stroking her thighs and devoting themselves to her together as intimately as they can, and Gladiia closes her eyes in satisfaction, content to be awash in this dream she so very fortunately lives.

#BDSMKinktober #arknights

[secosmolhadoseafins]

IS IT YOUR REPUTATION THAT'S BOTHERING YOU? BUT LOOK AT HOW SOON WE'RE ALL FORGOTTEN. THE ABYSS OF ENDLESS TIME THAT SWALLOWS IT ALL. THE EMPTINESS OF ALL THOSE APPLAUDING HANDS. THE PEOPLE WHO PRAISE US — HOW CAPRICIOUS THEY ARE, HOW ARBITRARY.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (4.3)

#Marcus Aurelius #Meditations (4.3)

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

What is Charles’s Job?

[ID: a screenshot of a Tumblr tag. It reads, “#also im so sorry this is a pet peeve of mine when people talk about it: theologians do NOT follow blind faith.” End ID.]

I saw this tag on my most recent post, and it is correct! Theologians study religions and learn about their tenets, much like a scientist learns about the natural world. But Charles is NOT a theologian. The Mudstone Abyss transcripts specifically call him a “theologist.” The two words are technically synonyms, so it could be the case that Charles does the same job a theologian does. The only difference is the suffix. 

The suffix -ian means “belonging or relating to”, “adhering to or following” or “having a certain profession.” All of these definitions separate the person from their work. A librarian is of one library, a Christian is a follower of their religion.  The suffix modifies nouns and adjectives. Basically, a noun is a thing, while an adjective describes that thing. It’s a little less tangible, you could say. 

But the suffix -ist means “a person who holds certain principles or doctrines.” In this way, it seems a lot more personal. More of the self. A scientist holds a belief in their doctrine of... well, science. And Charles is the opposite of Carlos, meaning he is the opposite of a scientist. He is a theologist. 

SO what is Charles’s job? Is it his job to study and document religions? Is it his job to work within his specific religion? We know he’s a theocrat, so he’s clearly not interested in examining the fallibility of religion. Is he interested in controlling people through religion, the way that the University of What It Is controls people through science? Was it a totally arbitrary decision to refer to him as “Charles the Theologist” instead of “Charles the Theologian?” I have no idea. But now I’m thinking about it. 

#charles the theologist #desert bluffs #welcome to desert bluffs

[to-be-spared]

Winter flowers

written for the prompt: can i try + love

pairing: vegas/pete

notes: title from (not really an exact or correct translation) (and song i listened to on repeat while writing this) this song

(very quick thanks to @minorfamilysupremacy who read this beforehand to make sure it was somewhat coherent)

There is a language that sounds like tenderness, with touches for words and fingertips for letters and breaths for spaces.

Its syntax is identical to that of a language that sounds like an abyss.

Sometimes Vegas can’t tell the difference. Sometimes Pete brushes his knuckles against Vegas’s cheek and it feels like a backhand to his lip. Sometimes Vegas traces arbitrary patterns on Pete’s back and he can’t be sure whether he’s using his finger or a knife. Sometimes they breathe, harsh and quick and rushed between kisses, like the kiss is vital and the oxygen is disposable, and Vegas can only hear the precipice of pain underneath it.

Pete is fluent in the intensity of both languages. He can smile at Vegas, quiet and private and lovely, while his shirt is covered in blood and his fingers are still wrapped around a knife. He can use one arm to push Macau behind him to make himself a shield and the other as support for a gun he will not stop firing until everything around them is still and terrible.

Pete can trace the shape of Vegas’s lips with the tip of his nose for the sake of it, for the relief of being able to do it. He smiles while he does it, biting down on his lower lip. Vegas offers him his body to be brought back to life with pointless touches – and he wants to learn too.

“Let me try,” Vegas says, breathless with life, “Can I try?”

Pete smiles as he lets himself fall on the bed, body stretched out like an offering, and Vegas follows him like it’s meant for him.

He practises. Words – left on Pete’s skin by the space between Vegas’s parted lips – and letters – traced by Vegas’s knees against Pete’s thighs – and spaces – created by the pacing, the pauses, the absence of fear.

And tonight Vegas can tell the difference between the two languages, can speak clearly – I love you, which doesn’t sound like I’ll bury you.

And he can hear the answer clearly – I love you. But because Pete can switch effortlessly between the two, it also sounds like go ahead and bury me. I wouldn’t mind.

#kpweek2022 #kinnporsche #vegaspete #vegaspete fanfiction #robi writes stuff #kinnporsche fanfiction

[neurodivergantizzetwitch]

intro post :3

hiii! im [insert name here]: a stereotypical AuDHD trans girl who still hasn't settled on a name yet-- my life isnt... going well rn, but tumblr makes it a bit more bearable and every little bit helps.

im a trans fem, more specifically i like the term demigirl- which feels like it fits me. im also ace(ish), by which i mean im ace but pretty sex favorable- just don't experience sexual attraction. im also very gay and have the best partner in the whole entire universe (they said they were gonna join tumblr soon- so ill at them here once she does.)

oh yeah and my brain is funky. im a peer reviewed (and officially dxed, but im an advocate of self diagnosis) AuDHDer- which informs basically everything i do. i also have a bunch of the mental illness stuff, and have struggled w it a lot. idrk or care what the exact diagnosis is, spend enough time around insane ppl and you learn a lot of the specific labels are pretty arbitrary and a lot of symptoms are shared- i just describe myself as fucked in the head or legitimately insane

also im never consistent w tags- sorry. maybe one day ill try to be but uh... yeah not today. i do tag for potentially triggering content tho- and try my best to be consistent w it, so if you're sensitive to the following and want to follow me for some weird reason id reccomend blocking them:

#cw sex mention, #cw: substance abuse, #cw: abuse #cw: child abuse, #cw: gore, #cw: sh, #cw: si, #cw: disordered eating, #cw: bigotry, #cw: disturbing content,

id also say in accordance w the previous thing i sometimes say things about my life that are "dark" in a way that can cross a line, i don't mean to do this- and i want to respect everyone's boundaries- but accidentally sharing super dark shit is smth i struggle w.

im a committed anarchist, and i will unabashedly post in accordance w those views. i haven't been able to help people as much as id like to bc of the whole being a minor in a fucked up situation with no money energy or time thing, but im trying to do more. If anyone reading this has suggestions- lmk.

i also like a lot of shit. like A LOT of shit- and i get REALLY obsessed w it too, so it is not out of character for me to start posting a bunch about smth i had not known existed until i got obsessed (as mentioned, AuDHDer). what ill post about is just kinda based on what im feeling that day and my interests, but heres some of my favorite things that im enamored w in no particular order:

games:

mtg

minecraft

hermitcraft (which yes is minecraft and no isnt a game but shut up)

hollow knight / skilkskong 🤡

celeste

metroid

nitw

botw

hades

books

cosmere

the locked tomb

percy jackson

the sandman

six of crows

the hunger games

lotr

spec fic, especially non-traditional spec-fic

shows/movies

spiderman across the spiderverse

made in abyss

hazbin hotel

hunter x hunter

the owl house

Pan's Labyrinth (& other Guillermo movies)

miyazaki movies

wes anderson movies

animated movies & shows

cinematic/classic movies (not neccessarily old just like the literary fiction genre of movies)

weird/offbeat movies and shows

music

coheed and cambria

mcr

jhariah

girl in red

will wood

pinkshift

jack off jill

paramore

mother mother

the cure

chloe moriando

bauhaus

cardiacs

dead kennedys

lena raine

siouxsie & the banshees

milk in the microwave

mitski

penelope scott

sungazer

45 grave

other interests/hobbies n shit

drawing

d&d

writing

painting

guitar

bass

drums

singing

music production

game design

coding

animation

character design

video production

poetry

theater (yes im a fucking theater kid did you even have to ask that)

musicals

even though im solidly gen z, i havent really grown up on the internet the same way. some weird combination of my parents' disapproval of it, social anxiety, autism, and not being allowed to use it for years means that ive had this fear of posting stuff on the internet. for so many people like me the internet has been a place to escape and be themself, to me it's more often than not just a reflection of a reality that seems just as scary and ostracizing.

the thing is... i dont have a lot of friends. i dont have a large community really. and i think though there are some ways in which my aversion to social interactions including those on the internet has been helpful, there are other ways it's really isolated me- both from my peers and a broader community of people.

so im trying to put myself out there a little more. this stupidly long intro post is i think just a way for me to commit to that for myself. ive been so scared of doing it all my life, right now i think i just need some sort of outlet to be myself. who knows? maybe i'll even meet some new friends.

#transfem #autistic community #ace #leftist #intro post #mental health #lesbian #mtg #nerdy girls