#are saying the wildest shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tennessoui · 1 year

Note

Prompt ask! 😍

"I need you, though"

guess who went to the zoo today i went to the zoo today so this is the premise of my zookeeper au in ficlet form

(1.6k) (warning: himbo obi-wan)

Obi-Wan Kenobi is leaning against the post of the goat pin, watching him.

Anakin doesn’t quite know what to do about that, and he decides to table the issue until he has a moment to shoo the man away.

What he can’t figure out is why Obi-Wan Kenobi is here. They’ve never talked. Until this very moment, he hadn’t realized Obi-Wan Kenobi even knew who he was, but when he turns his head slightly to the side to peek over at him, it’s definitely him that he’s looking at.

Of course he knows who Obi-Wan Kenobi is though. He’s one of the best zookeepers in the Coruscant Zoo—and probably the most recognizable. After all, he’s the head of the team that works with the big cats, and everyone comes to the zoo to see the lions and tigers be fed and sleep. And whatever else the lions and tigers do.

It probably helps that the guy feeding them and playing with them is undeniably also probably handsomest man in all of Coruscant.

Maybe not, Anakin doesn’t know.

What Anakin does know is that it’s very hard to look in Obi-Wan’s direction without imagining beard burn on his thighs, a fact of life that’s thus far not mattered much.

But now he’s surrounded by little children, exhausted moms, and goats, sheep, rabbits, and ponies. Arousal is not one of the feelings he should be having at this moment.

He throws the fresh hay down by the stable and wipes the sweat off his forehead. He needs to get Obi-Wan Kenobi to leave because he probably has—like, an actual job to do. He’s wearing his zookeeping jumpsuit, which means he probably should be on the other side of the zoo, prodding sleeping lions or petting tigers.

He’s probably scaring the bunnies, smelling all like big cat and predator and sandalwood cologne with just a hint of spice—

Look, it’s normal that Anakin knows what Obi-Wan Kenobi smells like. They’ve passed each other in the hall before, at work events. He’s pretty sure Obi-Wan Kenobi has come out of the bathroom right before Anakin went in a few times too, so it’s not like it’s abnormal to know how the guy smells.

And the most important thing is he can’t be smelling like that around Anakin’s babies, because they’re probably terrified and they have to put up with enough with all the snot-nosed brats that come in and try to pull their tails or ears.

On his way over to Obi-Wan Kenobi, he sees a little girl in a princess dress doing just that with Cinny-Minny Bun Bun, which is a crime too grievous to go unpunished, so he redirects his body immediately to snatch the poor bunny away from the girl’s grubby little fingers. “You’ll hurt her doing that,” Anakin chides in a perfectly polite sort of voice, cuddling the bunny to his chest. Cinny is quivering. “What if someone came up and pulled on your ears? How would you like that?”

The little girl looks at him for two seconds before promptly bursting into tears. Internally, Anakin rolls his eyes. Kids cry about everything, but they especially don’t like being told that they can’t torture small animals.

Psychopaths, all of them.

He keeps Cinny against his chest as he turns away from the kid and finishes his trek over to Obi-Wan, who is giving him a very unimpressed raised eyebrow.

“You can’t be here, you’re scaring the animals with your—big cat scent,” he says once they’re face to face, separated by the posts of the fence around the petting zoo.

“You’re scaring the children,” Obi-Wan Kenobi points out, which may be the first words he’s ever said to him directly.

Anakin scowls and adjusts his hold on Cinny-Minny. “Children are the worst.”

Now Obi-Wan is smiling slightly, which is a really good look for him. “Your job hinges upon being able to work with animals and children, and—and, Mr. Skywalker, that was a very disappointing display I just witnessed. I understand thata you’re still grieving the unexpected loss of your wife, but you have to keep your personal life from affecting your work, or we’ll be forced to terminate your contract with Coruscant Zoo. I’ll be making a note of this incident in your file for your performance review at the end of the month.”

This is all said very sternly and with a self-assured yet disapproving tone.

But Anakin thinks he’d probably notice if he had a wife and also if she died tragically. He blinks at Obi-Wan and wonders if the man is having a stroke. He’s also pretty sure Obi-Wan can’t actually fire him.

He could probably sic the big cats on him though, which is less than optimal.

“Uh,” Anakin settles on saying.

Obi-Wan’s eyes dart away from his face and then back to him before he breaks out into a grin. “Sorry, the mother of the child you traumatized was coming over looking rather unhappy. I thought if I told you off for your outlandish and boarish behavior, she wouldn’t feel the need to. And she’s turned back now, so. You’re welcome.”

Anakin blinks. “Me and my dead wife thank you,” he finally says. “You need to go though. They can probably smell Split Pea all over you.”

“I don’t actually roll around with the lion as much as you may think I do,” Obi-Wan says, and both of his eyebrows are raised.

“Oh, of course. That’s just the tigers.”

“Chowder and Gumbo enjoy my company, but for the most part I do stay out of all of my enclosures. They’re big cats, not exactly petting zoo material.”

“Which is why you need to leave,” Anakin says again, in case Obi-Wan didn’t hear that part. “You’re scaring Cinny-Minny.”

“Cinny-Minny.”

“Cinnamon Minerva Bun Bun.”

Now it’s Obi-Wan’s turn to blink. “Ah. Of course.”

“All your animals are named after soups,” Anakin says defensively. “Don’t throw stones.”

Obi-Wan looks amused, which is also a very good look on him, the fucker. “I didn’t say anything,” he points out.

Anakin scowls and clutches Cinny close. He’s ninety percent sure she’s fallen asleep.

“You need to leave,” he reiterates. “I need you though,” Obi-Wan says, and then looks slightly horrified. “Your hands. No, sorry. I mean—” it’s the first time this entire conversation that Obi-Wan Kenobi has been flustered, and Anakin would be enjoying it a lot more if he could think past all the mental images of what Obi-Wan could use his hands for.

“That,” Obi-Wan finally spits out, looking mortified as he rubs a hand over his face and uses his other one to gesture at—

Anakin blinks down at Cinny. “My bunny?”

Does Obi-Wan think the petting zoo animals are like class pets that the employees can go home with? How did he get such an erroneous conception and also why is Anakin sort of jealous of a rabbit right now?

“Yes,” Obi-Wan says. “Well, no.”

“Thanks for clearing that one up,” Anakin says gamely. “Want to try again?”

Obi-Wan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, like Anakin is the one being difficult here. “I…am in need of your expertise.”

“My expertise. In…bunnies?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan snaps. Anakin blinks at him. “I—my friend is out of town for a month, and he asked me to pet sit for him. And I think I’m killing the rabbit.”

This is pretty alarming actually.

“What?”

“It’s not eating anything and it just—sits in its hutch. I haven’t seen it eat any of the food I’ve left out, and it’s like. Shaking?” Obi-Wan crosses his arms. “I’m worried I’ve given it a terrible case of seasonal depression, honestly, but my friend’s daughter will literally never forgive me if I kill her rabbit.”

Anakin thinks he probably agrees with the friend’s daughter, and something like that may flash across his face because it’s Obi-Wan’s turn to scowl.

“I’ve tried everything that works for my cats,” he says. “Nothing. I’m running out of ideas, Anakin.”

This is the first time Obi-Wan’s said his name, and Anakin finds himself half-distracted by how much he enjoys the way it sounds in his voice. But more importantly: “Wait, sorry, did you—did you, what, give the bunny extra bloody meat? Put the food on a stick and wriggle it around to encourage its predator instincts to come out and play?”

Obi-Wan’s silent for a moment too long.

“Oh my god,” Anakin says before bursting into laughter so fierce that he has to shove Cinny into Obi-Wan’s hands just to clutch his own stomach.

Obi-Wan holds the bunny like he’s holding a lit stick of dynamite, and it only makes Anakin laugh harder. This is a man who routinely walks into small spaces already inhabited by clawed and fanged predators and scratches them behind the ears, but the fluffy bunny in his hands looks as if it may break him.

“Alright, thank you,” Obi-Wan says, sounding more than a little put-out and ticked off. “Alright.”

Anakin’s laughter finally peters out, and he takes Cinny Minny back from Obi-Wan before he can give the rabbit PTSD or anything. “Okay,” he hears himself say, which is weird because he hasn’t thought at all about the actual request, unable to think past the mental image of Obi-Wan trying to find a bunny the way he feeds his lions. “Yeah, okay. Do you need just like—advice or. Pet websites? A blog forum?” “Come over,” Obi-Wan demands. “I learn best through hands-on demonstration.”

Anakin doesn’t say any of the five things that come to mind because they’re all a bit sleazy and he’s better than that. “Okay,” he hears himself say again. “Yeah, okay.”

“Excellent,” Obi-Wan smiles at him before reaching out and using two fingers to gently pet the space between Cinny’s ears.

It’s probably the most attractive thing Anakin’s seen in the last month.

He doesn’t want to think about what that says about him.

#asks #obikin #zookeeper au #prompt fill #this was fun but also for some reason it took me like 4 hours rip my writing brain #i had PLANS for writing today ffs!!!#i'm posting now later than i wanted but i'll probably reblog tomorrow at a better time #so no fun tags on this guy for now #but also thnak oyu for the song recs everyone!!!!!!!!#i am going to make a playlist of them all :D #yall are beautiful <3 #oh!! it's my friend amys bday and shes going to the zoo tomorrow so this silly shit is dedicated to her!!!#zoos are fun!!!#peoplewatching at zoos is even better!!#kids just say the wildest things

127 notes · View notes