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#are we all forgetting that Mel was raised with the idea of death being half cruel necessity but also as a blood sport?
laniidae-passerine · 2 years
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okay everyone in this show is having a terrible time but I’m not over the whole Mel watched a girl get decapitated thing? like she gets lumped in with Piltover upper class or viewed as a callous manipulator but frankly that’s some Zaun shit. that’s the kind of thing that only a child born into violence and crime typically ever witnesses but nobody seems to have any sympathy for Mel???? for all her finery and class, if you threw that girl into Zaun and made her survive by herself, of all the Piltover characters she is the most likely to survive
#AHE FUCKING WATCHED A GIRL DIE????? BRUTALLY?????#lived and breathed war as a child? felt hot blood on her skin and slept to the lullabies of screams#the daughter of a warlord who can probably weild a weapon that’s just as sharp as her tongue with ease#like I feel crazy is nobody else getting this??? Mel could be a warlord. Mel could be a murderer#if she had just tipped a little on the balance of morality she’d have dressed herself in furs and speared Silco in the chest by episode 8#yes everyone is suffering and yes a lot of the ladies went through shit and can fight#are we all forgetting that Mel was raised with the idea of death being half cruel necessity but also as a blood sport?#that to kill and conquer is simply a matter of existence and not even a choice of morals?#she could be so fucking dangerous and she chooses not to be but god. if she fell from her family graces hard enough to enter severe poverty?#she’d probably have become an ekko because she’s kindhearted and cares and loves deeply which is why I adore her Mel is <3333#but if her heart was broken enough… slaughter. brutal bloody slaughter. and zaun fucking wept#SHES SO FUCKING INSANELY OVERLOOKED TO ME LIKE??? she know how to kill. she could slaughter that council no problem I believe that I do#mel medarda#arcane#decapitated. a girl of a similar age decapitated in front of her. like a fucking warning ‘see what I do to my enemies’#and like a present ‘one day you’ll get to hold the axe’#she walked on fields that would grow such beautiful flowers next spring for the bodies of the thousands her mother massacred would feed them#Mel sweetie. see a therapist????? see a doctor???? why is everyone around her like ‘oh councillor Medarda you clever rich pretty girl’#she could take your fucking head off at a mile away. she’s a bred killer with a peacekeeper’s heart#Viktor villain arc is all very good but he’s just an antihero giving people metal legs and trying to fuck up Jayce when he turns#if Mel actually lost it… unless she loses it with Viktor (hello Arxane writers I am free to help you and also bribe you hmu)#she would raze whole swathes of Runeterra down for a laugh#but Mel would never though because her heart is kind and her soul is loving and she is an angel <3 Mel love squad she tries so hard#doing her absolute best out here and even when given every option keeps trying to choose peace. but her potential to be evil/terrifying…#why is nobody talking about this she could crush some of your favs like she’s playing bowling#the ones that are stronger she’d just do research on to mentally fuck em up in battle#Mel’s a triple threat she’s likeable she’s clever and she’s trained in combat or at least understands it deeply. my girl is an icon#how are y’all sleeping on her????? all the Mel love what a goddamn legend (oh I HOPE. put her in the game do it now)
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abbysfrenchbraid · 3 years
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hi! i love all of your writing, especially your abby fanfics. i know you’re in the middle of your eivor series right now, so pls disregard if you don’t feel like writing this request or don’t want to write for abby, but i was wondering if you could maybe write a hurt/comfort type imagine where abby either comforts the reader when they’re sad or after they have a nightmare. i get really frequent nightmares and love to read fanfics like this but totally understand if you’re not into the idea. all the love and i hope you’re doing well; merry christmas if you celebrate!
so this is half a year late, but I finally have a little more time to go through my requests so here it is! this is also the first time I've actively avoided gendering the reader as I've gotten a few requests for a nonbinary or genderfluid reader. This is not a cop-out on that, I definitely want to write an explicitly nb reader but I figured this would make the reading experience better for quite a few people!
Summary: The reader has recently lost a family member and stranded with the WLF. They struggle with frequent panic attacks and nightmares. Abby notices and tries to take care of them.
CW for loss of a family member (sibling), death and grief, heavy trauma, panic attacks, anxiety, nightmares, and struggling to breathe. The nightmares are also fairly violent and creepy so please watch out for yourselves and only read this if you're in a good state of mind <3
I've Got You
The truck rattled as Leah drove it up the road to the WLF stadium. It had been a particularly rough day on patrol. You and the other wolf had run into a group of freshly infected that seemed to have been three families once. The children had been the worst. The youngest had probably been about ten years old before she had turned, her eyes bright blue and her blonde curls matted with dried blood. You had taken care of them all, of course you had. But it had been horrible. You folded your hands in your lap to keep them from shaking.
You had joined the WLF a few months ago after losing your team and your little sister in a clicker-infested cellar you had set up camp in. It had been so fucking stupid, so careless. But everyone had been tired, you hadn’t seen any infected in days, and so only one of you had kept watch. He barely had time to scream before the clicker had ripped out his throat. It had been chaos, madness, everyone scrambling to escape into the network of damp corridors and storage rooms, more and more clickers being drawn to you by the noise.
Leah raised her hand at the armed guards at the gate and they opened for your truck. The sun was setting behind you and most people were inside the stadium now, eating or spending time with friends. Both of you were quiet. Leah’s legs were covered in slowly darkening blood and the smell was nauseating. The tall wolf pulled the truck into its designated spot and took a deep breath.
“Y/N?” You looked up at her. The circles under her eyes could compete with yours, but her face was still as kind as ever.
“Yeah?”
“You take care of yourself today. Take a long shower, get something to eat. I’ll let Martha know to give you a double portion for dinner.”
You smiled faintly at her. This was how it was here. All the wolves had seen terrible things and probably done even worse. They all chose to let it out in training and then leave it behind them. No sense in holding on. You nodded.
“Thanks, Lee. See you in the gym tomorrow.”
The brunette grinned and patted your thigh.
“6 am sharp!” She jumped out of the car and gave back the keys at the checkpoint, then she vanished inside the stadium.
You stayed in your seat. Your fingers had cramped up and you were scared to unfold them, scared you would never be able to stop them from shaking again.
Sierra had held your hand all the way, not letting go as you dragged her through the darkness, fought off four infected, stumbled up stairs you had not come down on, and found yourself in a ravaged theater. You had run all night and only stopped when you were unable to go a single step further. When you had found a small pawnshop that you could lock up safely, you had made a bed of your jacket and a moth-eaten blanket from the theater. Sierra had started to cry. You would never forget the way dread had started to creep into your limbs, seeping into your skin and stretching dark tendrils toward your throat. You had rolled up Sierra’s sleeve and there it was. A relatively small mark, just the puncture wounds from two teeth turned into mean scratches as Sierra had pulled her arm from the jaws of a clicker and kept on running. But it had already begun to fester, the edges of the wound an angry red contrasting the white blisters forming around the site. It felt like the ground had been pulled from below your feet. You fell and fell, unable to speak, to do anything, just staring at the thing that meant the end of the world. The end of your baby sister.
A shout caught your attention - another car had returned to the stadium and was pulling into a spot a few paces away. It was Manny and Abby, everyone’s favorite duo. The attractive joker and the stoic warrior. They were among Leah’s best friends and she had introduced them to you a while ago, all of them welcoming you warmly. It had been strange, being part of a group again, a team. Your heart was still too sore.
So you had quietly pulled yourself out of most of the group evenings, the film nights and game nights and arm wrestling tournaments and what else there was to do. Manny had tried his luck flirting with you a few times and one time you had even joined him for a dance, but after realizing he wouldn’t land with you he had respectfully backed off and now treated you more like a little sister. Mel and Owen had been nice, too, both very secluded when they turned up together, but Owen was funny and enthusiastic and always yelled your name across the cafeteria or the training course when he saw you. He was one of the few people who could make you laugh no matter how hard you tried not to.
Nora was a whirlwind, the smartest person you had ever known and unfaltering no matter what the universe threw at her feet. She liked poetry and hard rock music, big men and even bigger women. You had often wondered whether she and Abby had ever hooked up. But you weren’t sure of anything concerning Abby. Always the stony face, the impenetrable wall, the arms-length smile and polite nod in the hallway. It could be infuriating at times. Especially because despite it all, against all your better judgment, you could feel yourself growing more and more interested in her, constantly looking for her in a crowd and sneaking side glances to see if she was listening to you or laughing at the same things.
The car doors banged and the sound echoed through the small space. Manny was laughing about something Abby had said and walked with a bounce in his step as he approached the counter to hand back his keys. Abby looked like she always did, khaki cargo pants and a black cutoff, her green backpack slung over one muscular shoulder. Some strands of hair had escaped her braid and curled up at the back of her neck, slightly damp from her sweat in the hot summer air. Trying to calm down and distract yourself, you let your gaze wander up her strong build, freckled biceps flexing as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. And then she looked straight at you. You didn’t move, stayed frozen as you had for the last few minutes, wishing you were invisible.
Your face felt hot and suddenly there were tears blurring your vision - what was happening?! Your knees started shaking as well, bouncing uncontrollably as your nails dug into the backs of your hands. Your throat was closing up and your bottom lip was quivering. All you saw were specks of grey and green, all you felt was your body resisting every command and rebelling against you, trying to hold you in place and suffocate you silently.
Suddenly the door opened beside you and a soft, deep voice said your name. You tried to blink the tears away but your vision wouldn’t clear up, panic blinding you further. You began shaking your head as your chest convulsed in a desperate attempt to draw breath.
“Fuck, Y/N, okay.” Abby’s voice was determined and suddenly her hands were on your wrists. Her skin was warm and dry, her grip firm. She softly shook your clasped hands and somehow moved so her face was in front of yours, a mess of green and brown and there, soft pink where her lips moved, speaking quietly and telling you to breathe with her. One hand stayed on your wrist and her thumb massaged the cramped up muscle there, digging painfully into your flesh but pulling you back to her slowly. One hand came up closer and a calloused thumb brushed the tears from your cheek before her hand landed on your shoulder, fingers pressing into your upper back.
“Hey, look at me, look at me, Y/N, you’re okay, I’m here. Can you try to breathe in with me on three? Just stop fighting for a moment, count with me and then we’ll breathe in together. Okay? One.”
You tried to sit up straighter and stop the erratic twitching of your chest, still choking on your breath as you waited for her commando.
“Two. Three.”
Her hand pressed between your shoulders from behind and suddenly you could breathe again, a loud gasp that turned into quiet sobs as you fought to release the air from your lungs before breathing in again.
“There we go, you’re doing so good,” Abby’s hand was on your cheek again, “so good, Y/N, breathe with me, that’s right.”
Your vision slowly returned to you now, though it was still distorted by  tears. Abby had half-climbed into the truck, one foot between yours and one dangling out of the open door, her weight held up only by her right leg as she pressed her back against the dashboard. A wet laugh escaped you. Abby shot you a confused look, paired with the hint of a relieved smile.
“What?”
“You’re gonna get a cramp as well,” you rasped, “if you keep that up.”
You slid further to the inside of the broad seat, making room for Abby next to you. She grinned and sat down, one hand still on your wrist. Her eyes went down to your trembling hands, your knuckles still white from your iron grip.
“Okay, let’s take care of your hands, hm?”
Her fingers wandered softly over yours, then she rested one hand over your tangled fingers and pushed her other thumb between your palms, gently loosening your hold. She pulled back each finger slowly, starting with your thumbs and stroking each one as they relaxed. Finally, your shaking hands lay freely on your thighs.
“You’re doing so well, Y/N, don’t worry.” She took one of your hands in her lap and started massaging the inside of your palm. “Wanna tell me what got you there?”
You sighed, breath still shaky with tears.
“Um.. We ran into infected today. Runners. Families, it seemed.”
Abby sucked in a breath and gave you back your hand before taking the other and starting the same gentle procedure.
“Those are the hardest. Kids?”
You nodded and Abby made a soft noise. You took another rattling breath.
“I… I lost my little sister. Back when… before I came to you.”
Her head shot up and she stared at you, shock and sympathy playing over her features.
“Fuck, Y/N, you never said…”
“I know.” You lowered your head.
When you had stumbled out of the woods around the WLF stadium and begged them to let you in, they had stripped you and searched you before bringing you to their leader. After hours of questioning to make sure you weren’t a spy for any other group, he knew about your team and everything you had done in the last three years, but you hadn’t mentioned Sierra once. It wouldn’t change anything anyway. They had brought you to Nora who had patched you up, examined you, and fed you before showing you to your new room. It was a small closet on the base level of the stadium, with only a tiny window letting in some light. You were thankful for a roof over your head and the armed posts surrounding the stadium.
“I didn’t want to talk about her. I didn’t lie to Isaac or betray you. It wasn't anyone's business.” You gave Abby a fierce look. Nothing would change your mind about this. She just nodded, her eyes wide. You sighed, brushing your hands against each other.
“She was bitten. I see her every time I close my eyes. It wasn’t fair.” You dropped your hands into your lap. “I just don’t… I can’t -”
Abby’s hand was on yours again, her fingers sliding between yours.
“Hey. I won’t tell anyone. But I’m here, okay? If you want to talk.”
You scoffed.
“No one ever talks here. You’re all made of stone.”
Abby contemplated this for a few seconds, then she squeezed your hand.
“My dad was murdered a few years ago. Almost all of our families are dead.” Now it was your turn to be shocked. Fuck. You had been so insensitive. “By us, I mean Owen, Nora, Jordan, and me. Owen lost his parents to infected and his brothers to the scars just last year.”
Abby leaned back and stared out of the windshield, the garage now dark except for a few small lamps at the exits.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry. Of course, I’m in no place to tell you how to deal with it.”
“No, it’s fine. You’re right, you know. We don’t talk about those things.” She looked at you, her gaze so intense you almost pulled back. “Would you like to?”
You forced yourself to hold her gaze.
“I think I would. Now that it’s all… further away.”
Abby nodded, squeezing your hand again.
“Then we’ll talk. You can tell me all about your sister. And… I haven’t talked about my dad in a long time. I think I’d like to tell you about him, too. He was great.”
A small smile played around her lips and you felt a rush of gratitude for this wonderful woman. You could practically see the memories playing through her head behind those green eyes. She blinked, looking back at you.
“Wanna get something to eat? You must be starving. I know I am.”
“Sure.” You shared another smile and exited the car together, fingers still intertwined as you crossed the lot and Abby held the door open for you.
Dinner was already over, but Leah had kept her word and the elder woman at the counter gave you both gigantic bowls of beef stew with thick, coarse bread. You told Abby about your patrol that day and she hummed sympathetically. She knew what it felt like to deal with infected children. After a while, the door to the cafeteria flew open and Manny came in, sleek black hair still wet from a shower. He grinned brightly as he made his way over to you and sat next to you on the metal bench.
“You coming along tonight?” he asked you, drumming his fingers on the table. You raised your eyebrows.
“What’s happening tonight?”
He tutted at Abby and gave her a theatrical frown.
“You didn’t invite Y/N? It’s Mel’s birthday! Owen got his hands on some prime hooch. You celebrating with us?”
You smiled at your plate. The last thing you needed was to get wasted and completely lose any shred of sanity you had left.
“Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll join you. I still haven’t showered and I had a terrible day. I’m just gonna read a bit and pass out, I think.” You gave him an apologetic shrug.
“Oh, come on, Y/N. Read and pass out? It’s a special occasion! You sure?”
“Yeah, but really, thank you for inviting me. Maybe next time.”
He sighed heavily, then he clapped his hand on the table and stood up.
“Abby, you need to get moving, girl. We’re meeting in 20 and you stink.”
Abby just raised her eyebrows and shook her head, finishing her stew. Manny's laughter echoed through the empty room as he left.
“Do I really smell that bad?” There was a twinkle in her eye, a conspiratorial smile on her lips. You smiled back.
“Not at all. He probably smelled me.” You grabbed her empty bowl and placed it in yours. “Go have fun, I’ll clean this up. See you at training.”
Abby cocked her head to the side, seemingly not sure what to do. You gave her another encouraging smile.
“Really, I’m fine. Thank you for taking care of me, I owe you. Go celebrate!”
The tall blonde stood up slowly. She still seemed hesitant.
“I’ll come check on you later if that’s okay. And you can always come over and talk to me if something’s wrong, alright?”
Your chest felt tight all of a sudden, but not in the way it had earlier. It was the feeling of reaching for something knowing you’d never have it, of wanting something so bad and only being able to admire it from a distance. It felt like being homesick. You thought of Sierra again and how she had been your home, the only anchor in your life. Fuck, not now.
You shook your head as if to get rid of your thoughts and gave Abby a brave smile.
“Okay. But I’ll be fine. Promise.”
“Okay. See you later, then.”
“See you.”
Abby gave you a last look over her shoulder before exiting the cafeteria and you made your way over to the kitchen. The cooks had already left and a lanky red-haired boy was the only one still there, washing dishes and listening to music on an mp3 player. The metallic sound in his headphones echoed through the peacefully quiet kitchen. He almost jumped two feet into the air when you approached from the side, bowls in your hand.
“Fuck, you scared the shit out of me! Jesus Christ.” He pressed a wet hand to his chest, the suds leaving a dark print on his shirt.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how not to scare you, music and all. Sorry.” Both of you had to laugh and he held his dripping hands out for your dirty bowls.
“Don’t worry, I just wasn’t expecting anyone this late. You just come back from a mission?”
“Just a patrol run.”
You leaned against the counter and watched him clean the dishes.
“Anything exciting happen?” His eyes were bright and excited. He was even younger than he had looked at first, he couldn’t be older than 15. “My brother is on patrols too. Maybe you know him, his name is Danny.”
You crossed your arms and tried to remember the face that matched that name. Danny had been on patrol with Owen for a while when you had first arrived, but now he was stationed on some outpost and you hadn’t seen him for a long time.
“Yeah, I think I do. He’s not here at the moment, right?”
“He’s at the Serevena Hotel. I may be able to visit him there soon, depending on how my training goes.”
You raised your eyebrows.
“Training to be a soldier?”
“Of course.” He stood up straight. “I want to do my part, protect our people. Fight the scars.”
You didn’t really know how to respond to that. Even though you were thankful the WLF had taken you in and even though you had also participated in rigorous training from the first day on, soon being cleared for missions, you didn’t really have the same loyalty and faith for the organization. The seraphites were your enemies now, of course, but they were just people. You all were. Sometimes you wondered how it could have come to this - so few people left on this earth and here you were, slaughtering each other.
“I hope you can visit your brother soon.” You let your arms fall to the side and turned to leave. “Thanks for the dishes.”
“No problem,” he mumbled, putting his headphones back in.
You were in no rush to get to your room and so you took a few detours, passing the gym which was filled with quite a lot of people getting their training in after work. You looked into empty classrooms, trying to decipher what was written on the board. Would Sierra have studied here? Sat in the front, eager to learn the things you hadn’t been able to teach her? What if you had come here earlier, before it all happened? Could they have protected her better than you had? She would probably be walking next to you now, telling you about her day.
When you finally arrived at your room, you just quickly grabbed a towel, a clean shirt, and some shorts and headed for the showers. The hot water seemed to help somewhat. You wondered what Abby was up to right now. Probably getting drunk and having fun. Was she the type of person who danced? You had never seen her dance before. Maybe Nora would persuade her. There it was again, that heavy, pulling feeling. You turned the water off, got dressed, and went straight to bed. Enough heartache for one day.
-
You woke up confused, not knowing where you were at first. It was pitch black and there was some kind of noise outside. You reached around you and finally found the flashlight next to your pillow, turning it on and trying to wipe the sleep from your eyes. What was going on?
It had to be after midnight. The lights in the stadium were only on from 5.30 am to 10 pm in order to save power. You untangled yourself from your sheets and got on your feet, swaying a little. There it was again, that strange scratching noise accompanied by a quiet mumbling sound. It wasn’t directly at your door but seemed to come from further down the corridor. There were a few other people living down here in storerooms and sectioned hallways.
Yawning, you walked to the door and opened it ever so slightly, pressing the flashlight to your thigh in order to keep the light down at first. You couldn’t see anything, so you waved the flashlight around the corridor. Your stomach dropped.
At the far end of the hallway, a small figure stood in front of one of the doors, trying to open it to no avail. Small hands scratched at the wood, quiet brabbling reached your ears. This was wrong. Very wrong. The figure hadn’t noticed the light yet. It went on to the next door, trying the door handle and whining in frustration when it didn’t open.
Why didn’t the people inside wake up from the noise? You stood frozen as the figure tried the next door. It was a child, dressed in dotted pyjamas. Its blonde hair was shoulder length and tangled in knots. You slowly pushed your door open wider in order to step out into the corridor. Suddenly, the hinges squeaked and the sound echoed through the hallway.
The child slowly turned toward you. Blood was dripping from its mouth, its eyes were cold. It took a step toward you. You looked down and realized you were holding a gun. Oh. Right. Infected. You were supposed to shoot them.
As the kid made another strange brabbling sound, more blood ran down the front of the cotton pyjama shirt. You raised the flashlight with shaky fingers and aimed it right at the child's face.
Your blood froze in your veins. No. This couldn’t be. You had taken care of her, you had made sure she wouldn’t… wouldn’t turn into one of these… No, you had given her a peaceful ending.
“Sierra.” Your voice was raspy, quiet with terror. “Sierra, what are you doing here, baby?”
She growled. A horribly wrong sound, coming from someone so small and so lovely. Only she wasn’t lovely anymore. She was sick. Infected.
“Sierra!” You spoke louder now, your voice pleading. “Baby, please don’t do that. It’s me, see?” You raised the flashlight to light your own face for a moment. When you put it back on her, she had stopped walking. Her face was a mask of ice-cold fury. When she spoke, her voice rattled like nails in a metal box, rough like chalk on board.
“Y/N… Why?
You sank to your knees.
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what to do. I’m so sorry Siri, I was so helpless. I didn’t know, I didn’t…”
“You… killed… me.”
She was getting dangerously close now and all of a sudden you could smell her, too. Foul, dead, vile. The smell of sickness and decay. You raised the gun, a war raging between your head and your heart.
“Sierra, stop. Stop.” Tears were streaming down your face. “Please stop, Siri. Don’t come any closer. Stop, stop! Please stop!”
Your little baby sister was so close that you could have reached out a hand and brushed through her hair. You stood up and took a step back.
“I’m gonna have to shoot you if you don’t step back. You’re infected, Siri. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, but you can’t, please Sierra. Don’t, please don’t…”
She hissed at you and lurched forward. A shot rang through the air and the girl fell to the floor right before you, her tiny body at your feet, blood slowly pooling around her head. You dropped the gun and it clattered on the concrete floor. You clapped your hands to your mouth and screamed into your palms, crying out again and again, trying to gasp for air. It felt like your heart was being torn in two.
Suddenly there was a hand on your shoulder. You whirled around, but there was only darkness. You let yourself fall to the floor and kept weeping into your hands. Someone gripped your wrists and shook them slightly. You opened your eyes.
Abby was sitting on the side of your bed, her face right above yours and full of worry. You shook your head, frantically looking around your room for any kind of danger. The room was almost dark, light just seeping through the crack under the door. It was still early in the night.
“Y/N? Hey, hey. You’re okay.” Abby slowly let go of your wrists. “You had a nightmare. You’re okay now, I’m here.”
You were still too terrified to speak, so you just scooted further to the side and grabbed Abby’s hand, giving her a pleading look. She understood immediately, kicking off her shoes and climbing into bed next to you, holding out her arm for you to crawl into. You pressed yourself to her side and rested your head on her chest, feeling yourself tremble in her arms. She just held you for a while, letting you listen to her heartbeat until your own body began to calm down.
“Hi,” you whispered into the dim room. Abby stroked your hair while she held you tightly.
“Hey there,” she mumbled back. “Feeling better?”
“Not really.” You looked up at her. She smelled faintly of alcohol and something sweet. “How was your party?”
The corner of her mouth twitched.
“It was absolute chaos. I had to escape from there before it could consume me. And I also had someone to check on.” She squeezed your shoulder. You cringed at the thought of her finding you like this, writhing and talking in your sleep, crying out or even fighting her without knowing who was in front of you. You had always had horrible nightmares and Sierra had taken the brunt of them, waking you countless nights and trying to stay brave when you yelled at her or shoved her away in the first moments of consciousness, not yet fully back in the real world. Now that she was gone, they were a hundred times worse. You pressed your forehead to Abby’s shoulder.
“Did I scream?”
“Not really. I just knocked a few times and then I heard you talking, and you sounded so panicked that I thought I should make sure… I’m sorry I just came in like that.”
You shook your head.
“No, don’t. Thank you for waking me. It was… God, I hate this.”
Abby’s fingers combed through your hair, massaging your scalp. It was heavenly.
“Does this happen a lot?”
You snorted involuntarily.
“Every night. Several times. I never sleep through and I never sleep enough.” You wiped a hand over your face. “Sorry, I know I’m not the only one and it could be worse. It’s just… hard.”
“Excuse me?” Abby’s tone made you look up at her. “You’re telling me you have several panic attacks in your sleep every night but it’s fine because others have nightmares, too?”
You frowned. Panic attacks? You’d never thought of it that way.
“Y/N, you’re allowed to complain. To me especially. Remember, we wanted to talk about our problems? Be open about all this?”
She was right. You pressed yourself closer to her.
“I guess, yeah. Thank you for… for being here.”
“Wanna tell me about your nightmare?”
You held onto Abby’s shirt, clenching the fabric in your fist as if she might be ripped from you at any moment.
“I don’t know… I mean, why not. Well…” How were you even supposed to explain all this? How would you ever talk about your sister without freaking out again?
Abby pressed a kiss to the top of your head and you felt the tension in your stomach dissolve. You took a deep breath.
“I can never tell I’m dreaming. This time I thought I heard something in the corridor and I went to see what it was. A little girl was scratching on doors, trying to get in. She looked like the… like one of the infected we ran into today. But I made a noise and when she turned around she was... She was -” You gasped for air, trying to keep your calm. Abby hummed softly, stroking your back and giving you time to think.
“She had the face of my sister. Sierra.” You hadn’t said her name out loud in so long, only in the nightmares. Maybe it was time to rid her name of that terror, that fear, and grant it the love and warmth it deserved. “Sierra was my little sister. We ran with a group the last few years, stayed with them after our mom died. But she was bitten and I had to… I had to let her go.” You swallowed hard. Abby’s thumb drew circles on your back.
“So in the dream… the girl turned around and she was her . And I didn’t know what to do. I begged her to stop, to not come any closer because she was infected, she was bleeding, and -” You drew in another breath and buried your face in Abby’s chest. “She asked me why I’d done it, why I had… and she kept coming and then she attacked me and I - I had to, I had to shoot her.”
Hot tears were burning in your eyes and your throat was impossibly tight again. Abby gently placed a hand on your cheek and turned your face up toward her.
“I’m not gonna tell you it was just a dream because I know it's more complicated than that. I get them, too, sometimes. But what I can tell you is that I’m here, that you’re safe now, that your sister is in a better place and that one day you will be able to speak about her without feeling like you’re falling apart.”
“You think so?”
“I’m sure of it. And now you're with me. We can heal together. I’m here, I’ll always be here for you, okay?”
You raised your head from her chest and turned a little in order to get face to face with her.
“Abby?”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you doing this? Why now? I didn’t even think you liked me. You don’t have to take care of me.”
Abby’s features softened and she huffed out a silent laugh.
“I don’t know. I really… You were right when you said we keep everything to ourselves. But some of us do it more than others. And I guess I’m the worst when it comes to showing what I want.”
The sentence hung in the air for a moment. Abby took a deep breath.
“I like you, I really do. I just thought you needed more time. I know what it’s like to suffer and to feel like you can’t breathe. I wanted to give you space. But then I saw you in the car and I immediately knew what was happening. And I finally realized that I wouldn’t make things better by staying away.”
She held your gaze and you felt something shift between you. Her hand on your back came to a halt. You smiled softly.
“I always thought you didn’t find me interesting enough to talk to me. I was so jealous of the others for being this close to you and for making you laugh. I wanted that, too.”
“You’re the most interesting person that’s ever walked into this stadium,” Abby said softly. “God, I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to feel left out.”
You rested your head back on her shoulder.
“You made it up to me already. Really, you saved me today. Twice.”
Abby chuckled.
“Just wait until I have my next breakdown and then you can return the favor. Shouldn’t be long, they get to me every few days.”
You wrapped your arms around her torso.
“Well, then you’ll just have to stay close by.”
She hesitated, holding her breath for a second. You waited.
“Do you want me to stay? Tonight?”
You smiled to yourself.
“Would you?”
“Of course.”
You kept talking for a while. Abby told you about the party and about the cook Nora was currently hooking up with, and you told her about the boy in the kitchen. She recalled training with Danny when she first joined the WLF, laughing about how he had boasted that he wouldn’t lose to a girl and how she had him on the ground in a headlock in about two seconds.
At some point you must have fallen asleep, because the next thing you knew you were in the truck again, sitting in the passenger seat as the car flew through Seattle at top speed. You looked over and in the driver's seat there was the red-haired boy from the kitchen. His face was determined, a hard mask of concentration. He was panting hard, driving as fast as he could. Arrows were flying around you, soaring through the broken windows of the car and missing you by mere inches. A horse was whinnying. Scars. You immediately pulled out your gun and started shooting at everything that moved outside, hitting at least three people and a horse.
“Sorry,” you whispered as you reloaded. Animals weren’t fair.
You looked up and suddenly there was someone standing in the middle of the street. A small girl, brown-haired and in a red dress. Her back was to you. You screamed at the driver, but it was too late. The truck hit the child and it was thrown against the windshield, making a horrible noise as it cracked the glass and rolled over the roof to the back of the car where it fell to the ground. The truck came to a shrieking halt and you jumped out, gun drawn. The scars had vanished. You and the redhead ran back to where the girl was laying in a heap on the street, so small and fragile. Blood was running through the cracks in the pavement.
You turned the girl on her back and froze when you saw her face.
“Sierra! No, no, no, oh god no, what have we done - Sierra, Sierra, baby, look at me!”
“Y/N!” You heard your name but Sierra’s lips weren’t moving. “Y/N!” You whipped your head around and woke up.
It was dark and Abby had an arm wrapped around you, the other was holding your cheek. You swallowed and struggled for air.
“I’ve got you, hey, just breathe for me, I’ve got you.” Abby’s voice was sleepy and rough, something you'd have never thought you’d have the privilege of hearing. It calmed you down instantly. You dug your fingers into her arm, strong muscle flexing beneath your touch.
“Shhh, that’s right, just hold on. You’re okay.” You melted into her arms, hands and legs still shaking. She made a quiet humming noise in the back of her throat and pressed another kiss to your scalp. “I’m here. I’ll take care of you. I’m here.”
“You’re here,” you whispered and she hummed again in response. You rested your head against her chest and listened to her breaths as they slowly became more regular, chest steadily moving against you. Her heartbeat thumped softly in your ear. Cocooned in the wolf’s arms and serenaded by the quiet symphony of her sleeping body, you finally drifted off to sleep again.
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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years
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Written In The Stars CXXXIX (Harry Potter xF!Oc)
A/N: I’m scared to see how you guys will react to this one, hope you at least find it enjoyable despite my very self-indulgent plots -Danny 
P.S. Huge s/o to @bwbatta​ bc I decided to update my fic and now I have pretty dividers in all my books! Most of the ones I ended up using are her work so go check it out :)
Words: 4,641
Series’ Masterlist
Book V // Next Chapter
Listen to: ‘Need Your Love’ -by Joshua Wicker
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Chapter One: Dumbledore's Mission.
"A galleon says Erick will crash the car —"
"Shut up!"
"Don't make him nervous," Emily scolded Harry. "If you continue this I won't teach you how to drive!"
"We don't need to learn," Mel snorted. "We'll apparate everywhere..."
"I thought you hated it," Her mother raised a brow.
"Yeah, but she's lazy," Harry smirked.
"Why is Harry here? He's not allowed to leave the house, is he?" Mel frowned.
"He's not allowed to be alone outside, there's a difference. We're babysitting two infants, unfortunately..." Erick taunted.
"What's the matter, Flint? You have stage-fright?" Harry replied.
"Oh please, he feeds on attention! Like a dementor but in a more annoying way..."
"Enough!" Emily looked over her seat. "Is that the kind of things you want to teach your brother?"
"I doubt he'll remember any of this!"
"We know he can do it, Em, we're just teasing," Harry said blithely.
"Yeah, he's the only adult here apart from you, mum. It's kind of his obligation to be good at driving."
The baby let out a squeal of agreement, he was three weeks old but had a good set of lungs that he was happy to use at any given time, especially while everyone was sleeping.
Harry leaned and checked that the baby's blankets. Mel beamed at the sight, the boy had pretty much adopted the boy as his own brother, which she thought made a lot of sense, not only because it was Sirius' son, but because he'd been part of her family for so long that anything else would've been silly.
They were well aware that bringing little Regulus to their driving lessons was a bit risky, but Emily wasn't as keen to leave Mel and Harry alone in the house as she used to, so she put a few safety spells on the chair once the baby was seated while Harry and Mel sat on both sides of it.
Erick turned out to be a good driver, but he still had a bit of trouble understanding how cars worked.
"I have to be pulling and pushing stuff all the time!" He complained as he activated the windshield on accident for the third time. "Why can't I just turn the key and press the pedal?"
"Cars don't work like that," Emily said patiently. "It's complicated, but you're good!"
"He's only gone up and down the street for half an hour, Leggie fell asleep already," The girl huffed.
Emily looked over the seat once again, she was frowning. "Erick, switch seats with Mel."
"You're joking... right?"
"Erick," The woman repeated.
"On it," He said happily. "C'mon Mel, are you scared?"
Ten minutes later, Erick was in the backseat and she was tightly holding onto the wheel.
"I'm doing it!" She said. "Is not that hard, is it?"
"A slug could move faster," Harry was looking at the roof of the car and dying of heat. "I thought you were going to be more... the reckless type of driver."
"Me too..." Erick agreed lazily, he was playing with one of Reggie's feet.
"I'm not going faster, my brother's in the car!" Mel scoffed.
"We're not asking you to! Just enough so we can feel like we're actually moving!"
"Bringing you three was a bad idea," Emily said over the boys' laughter.
"Fine!" Mel pressed down the pedal, the car immediately gaining speed. "I'm was just being careful!"
"Which makes me proud," Emily softly patted her shoulder. "It feels like it was yesterday when you were running around Remus' house in nothing but a diaper and now you're driving!"
"The other night I ran into her wearing no pants, so she's hasn't changed really," Erick murmured nonchalantly. "I stepped on Grey's tail thanks to that... maybe that's why he hates me so much."
"What?" Harry's head snapped to the side so fast he hurt himself.
"I forgot you live here now! Sometimes I sleep like that, s'not a crime!" She looked at Harry through the rearview mirror. "I've been an only child for sixteen years, sometimes I forget there are more than two people in my house..."
"I'm surprised her scream didn't wake up Leon," Erick sniggered.
"He's a heavy sleeper like his dad," Emily responded distractedly.
The conversation died instantly. It wasn't the woman's intention, of course, but it'd been only a few weeks since Sirius' passing, sometimes they would forget for a moment, just a brief second, then one of them would talk about Sirius and everything would start again...
It was painful, and it was weird. Mel had never endured something like this with anyone except Harry. Having a larger group of people sharing the same pain was strangely comforting.
Mel cleared her throat. "It's Harry's turn..."
"I'm okay," He said quickly. "I can learn another day..."
"Glasses, you and I have a tradition of experiencing things at the same time," The girl stopped the car and turned to look at him. "You're not going to ruin our streak. Besides, I need to know if I'm better than you."
Harry stared at her in amusement, then he looked at Erick.
"Is it fun, having her bossing you around all day?"
"I boss her around too," Erick smirked.
"They take turns," Her mother sighed.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Harry gave the woman a look of sympathy as he stepped out of the car.
"There are worse things than being stuck with two pushy teenagers..."
"Hey!"
"Sorry," Emily smirked. "A pushy teenager and a pushy adult."
"If it annoys you that much I'll move out," Mel offered humorously. "What d'you say, Prince? Should we try our luck outside our comfort zone?"
"You wouldn't last a day," Erick taunted.
"Fiddlesticks," Mel muttered, to which Harry laughed.
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It was around three in the morning when someone knocked on her door. She'd been awake for a while now, so she stood up and opened it.
"Hi," She rubbed her eyes. "What's up?"
"Can't sleep," Erick mumbled. "Care if I stay a moment?"
"Go ahead..."
She went back to bed, Erick sat at the edge and stared at her for a moment. Grey let out a sleepy growl, curling further away from his reach. Erick pulled out his pocket watch, now hanging from a chain he'd found in Regulus Black's room back in Grimmauld Place. The reason why he'd taken it was unknown to Mel.
"What's up?" She mumbled, suppressing a yawn.
"I'm thinking."
"About?"
"How lucky I am."
Mel let out a puff of air without replying. He would do this often, say he was lucky to be there, that she'd saved his life... She just wanted him to shut up.
"I really don't want to punch you, Prince, I'd ruin your pretty nose."
He smiled, unbothered.
"You know, a few years ago you would've been pleased to hear me say that, you ungrateful git."
"Yeah well, a few years ago my biggest dream was to become a princess," She joked. "So you see my priorities were a bit messed up..."
"You'd make a cute princess."
"C'mon —"
"I mean it."
"Erick," Mel said in a tone of warning. "Stop."
He'd been acting like that for a whole week: flirting when no one was around, complimenting her... Mel had closed up so tightly around herself that she was barely capable of saying I love you to her mum. Erick had lived deprived of affection his whole life and was just getting out of that environment. At what point had she become the cold, distant one, and he the ray of sunshine?
She knew right away what he was trying to do, but she was so numb... Mel cared about him, but she was not there yet.
Erick leaned on the wall and tilted his head a bit so he could look at her.
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" She replied. "It's not your fault... I just — I need time."
He nodded shortly.
"We can talk later?"
He was wonderful, but she was in the middle of all that was wrong in their world, right next to Harry and the lifeline that she still hadn't decided whether she wanted to keep or not.
"We should go to bed," She murmured, still unable to make any real decisions for herself.
"Yeah," He stood up, carefully putting the blankets back in place and dropping them all over Grey on purpose. He put the watch back in his pocket as well. "Sweet dreams, Mely."
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The Ministry of Magic
PROTECTING YOUR HOME AND FAMILY AGAINST DARK FORCES
The Wizarding community is currently under threat from an organization calling itself the Death Eaters. Observing the following simple security guidelines will help protect you, your family, and your home from attack.
"I have a better way to protect our house," Erick groaned, he was gently rubbing his temples. "Let Leon cry the whole night and not even Voldemort will try to enter... I myself am starting to consider living on the street just to get away from the noise."
"S'not that bad," She answered, the dark circles under her eyes giving her away. "It's hard to get used to being a human, you know?"
"Look at this," Emily unfolded the newspaper. "'Scrimgeour succeeds Fudge' — Well, haven't met him yet but I hope he's got a bit of brain, Tonks told me a few months back that he's certainly a bit brisker..."
The doorbell rang and Mel left to open the door.
The routine at that point was established even if it had been only two weeks since their arrival; Erick got used to life at Privet Drive quite easily, he spent two whole days examining every corner of the kitchen, and when Mel showed him what a movie was, he wasted a whole day in the drawing-room watching the movie adaptations of the books she'd lent to him.
Harry would go daily to check on"Reg". Once he'd stayed the night but refused to sleep in Mel's room, not that she'd tried to convince him otherwise.
"Goodmorning," She opened the door without paying attention, "you're a bit late for breakfast but I'll let it pass as soon as you —"
She stopped talking at the sight of her great-uncle, Dumbledore smiled at her and walked in.
"I can't stay for breakfast, but I dare say I regret it deeply."
"Professor... I — Is everything okay?"
"Certainly."
"To what do we owe the pleasure?"
Mel turned to see her mother standing near the stairs, gazing at Dumbledore coldly.
"Emily," Dumbledore said. "Good morning... I'm here to speak with Mr Flint."
"Is he in trouble?"
"Quite the contrary, I believe he's never been better."
"Professor," Erick's posture changed when he walked into the room, suddenly he looked more like a young man and less like a boy. "What can I do for you?"
"I have a mission for you... Mel as well, but only if she wishes to go."
"She's not of age," The woman replied quickly.
Mel was ready to accept whatever it was he wanted her to do, she needed to feel like she was doing something. Although she wasn't exactly happy to see him so soon after the end of their last term.
"As I said, only if she wishes to come. I assure you she'd be safe."
The girl looked at her mother and then at the men standing in front of her.
"Can I hear what this is about first?"
Emily crossed her arms without uttering a word, her uncle signalled towards the couch.
"A word, then?"
Erick nodded, making a beeline to the closest armchair. Emily turned to leave, but Dumbledore spoke again.
"You can stay."
The woman shared a look with her daughter, Mel couldn't hide her eagerness to hear what the old man had to say.
"I won't sit there and watch history repeat itself," Emily sighed.
The woman left before Mel could say anything. She would talk to her later, but first, she needed to talk to Dumbledore.
"I beg you not to interrupt me while I speak."
Both pupils silently agreed to his petition.
"Now, I find myself in need of a new Professor, but the man I'd been contemplating for the job has been on the run for almost a year — He's not guilty of any crimes," He added, noticing the way their faces grew worried. "He's just afraid like everyone else... I need you to track him down and point me to where he is so I can have a word with him."
"I'll do it," Erick responded instantly.
"Alone?" Mel frowned.
Dumbledore stared at her for a second too long.
"If I remember correctly today is your sixteenth birthday, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"Mr Flint turned seventeen in January — You may know that's considered to be the start of our adulthood."
"Yes."
"Erick is allowed to do magic outside school... But you still have a year left."
"I don't see  —"
"You have Matthew's spirit when it comes to saving a friend, Mel. When you were eleven you left this house with Hagrid so you could look for Harry yourself... The time has come for me to finally be honest with you."
"What do you mean 'finally'?" The words were burning a hole in her brain. "You mean all the things you told me when I was in your office last month... that wasn't it?"
Erick stared at them with polite interest, even though she knew he was dying to ask. Mel hadn't told him a thing about that night out of respect for Harry's privacy.
"That was all I had to tell you regarding the Harry," Dumbledore replied. "There are plenty of things I haven't said, and I wish to talk about them with you."
"And if I agree to go with Erick on this mission... you'll tell me?" Mel raised a brow.
"I'll tell you whether you help me with this or not, but I believe there's nothing else I can teach you, Mel. All that's left for you is to start putting your knowledge to use; I recommend you to go on this mission."
"What about my animagus lessons?"
"Ah, yes," Dumbledore smiled. "I'll help you with that, but that'll be it. You've concluded your lessons with the highest marks, dear girl."
She would've been elated hadn't been because of the strange way her uncle was acting.
"Aren't you happy?" Erick nudged her arm gently. "You've worked hard for years, you should be proud!"
"I am proud," Mel replied shortly. "And I'd love to help, but I can't leave my family, it's not safe."
"They'd go to the burrow if you leave."
"What about Harry?"
"He'll go to the burrow too, but I have a few matters to attend with his family first."
"If Mel wants to stay that's alright, I can go on my own —"
"You can't."
Erick looked at her irritated.
"It's not like you can do magic outside school."
"It takes more than magic to survive out there — You don't know how to blend in with the muggles, do you?"
"You can discuss this throughout the day," Dumbledore grabbed a letter from his pocket. "In this, you'll find all about Horace Slughorn's last known whereabouts and a picture so you can identify him. If you do, don't approach, he'll know you're following him. As soon as you find him come back to Privet Drive and write to me."
"This is all just in case we decide to go, right?"
"I'm going," Erick scowled at her.
"We'll talk about this after dinner," She glared back.
Dumbledore stood up and they followed, Emily was at the entrance ready to let him out.
"I'll wait for your response, then," Her uncle stared at her for a moment. "You and Harry..."
"We haven't decided," She was quick to reply. "We need time."
"Very well."
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"You're quiet."
"I have a lot to think about."
Her day had been slightly ruined by her great-uncle's visit. Although Lupin had been there for a couple of hours and stayed for dinner. Mel and Erick talked about the mission and she'd promised to tell Harry after the party was over, which was now.
The Slytherin was upstairs taking a shower and Emily was putting Reggie to bed. Mel and Harry were sitting on the grass, watching the stars above them. She'd fallen into contemplative silence, pondering what to do. She could go chase some stranger for Dumbledore's benefit, or she could stay and look after her family.
"This would be much easier if my mum had asked me to stay!" She pouted.
"I reckon she knows that," Harry responded, throwing small rocks over the fence.
"Won't you?"
"Hmm?"
"You won't ask me to stay?"
Harry stared at her.
"No."
He didn't explain his reasons, but he didn't need to. Mel had made up her mind even if she didn't want to admit it. That was exactly why she was so upset, she wanted to look after her family, but her responsibilities were keeping her apart. Three years of hard work had led to this, and although Mel was a big sister now, winning the war was more important than changing diapers.
Her mother was a whole different problem too. Around them she was always cheery, but Mel was sure she'd heard her cry when none of the boys was around to hear.
She believed it was about Sirius, but it could also be about her and Harry, that she was scared for them. Mel didn't have the heart to lie if her mother were to ask about the prophecy. It was, as they had agreed without even having to speak about it, too much weight to put on their loved one's shoulders. The idea of Emily, the closest thing to a mother Harry ever had, finding out there was a big chance one of them would die after having lost Sirius in such a brutal way...
"I don't think I'll be able to look at Dumbledore in the eye if I come back empty-handed..."
"You're one of the best witches I know," Harry shrugged. "You'll be fine, just try not to murder Flint while you're away."
"He's less annoying now," She grinned. "Ever since he left his parents' house, dunno, he's improved. Although I might murder him if he doesn't stop —"
She was going to say 'flirting', but for some reason, she didn't feel ready to talk about that with Harry. She wasn't ready for anything and yet the world was forcing her to keep moving, it was exhausting.
Mel got up and offered her hand to her friend.
"Do you remember when you were just Harry and I was just Mel, and we were the odd kids at school?" She fixed her gaze on her bedroom window. "Wish we could go back to that."
"When I didn't know I was a wizard?"
"Things were easier back then, don't you think?"
"Maybe," He retorted. "But they were never entirely good."
In Harry, Mel found another reason to stay.
They could have the summer to talk about the things they needed to. She would stare at his aged features and compare them to the ones of that young boy she used to call her best friend...
Their bond still had thousands of cracks that had to be fixed, Mel was having a hard time letting him in again and they needed to be okay in order to know if they wanted to keep the lifeline or not. It wasn't that she didn't want to like him, she wanted the comfort he used to provide, the warmth and security of having someone who understood.
He knew it, and he was trying his best to not mess it up, but Mel didn't want to love him again, cutting the lifeline was the best way to assure that... It was easier said than done, though.
Harry was confused. Sometimes it felt like nothing would ever happen, then an overwhelming affection would crush his chest whenever Mel laughed or touched him. He didn't want to put a name to it, he was terrified of saying it, even to himself. All he knew was that the connection was a way to make sure Mel would be safe, and he didn't want to give that up.
"I should go."
"Yeah..."
"Happy birthday," He said. "I have to be honest and tell you that your present was meant to be sent last Christmas, but..."
"I didn't give you a present either, it's okay... I'm a bit angry though, that was a missed opportunity, I could've won."
Harry laughed.
"You'll have a new chance this year, but I doubt you'll be able to beat me — I've already gotten yours..."
"It's July!"
"I know," His smile vanished suddenly, then he added. "Be careful out there, please."
"Erick'll make sure I don't do anything stupid," Mel smiled. "He's so obsessed with protecting me — as if he didn't know I can do it alone just fine!"
"Yeah, but now's different."
"Different how?"
"We need you alive," He told her. "You want to live long enough to become Headmistress, right?"
Mel froze, not knowing what to answer.
"What?" Harry tilted his head.
"I lied," She blurted out. "I never wanted to be Headmistress — I saw you that night, in the mirror... I saw..."
"What?" He asked again, this time softer.
"You kissed me. A real kiss... like the type we used to gawk at as children."
Harry cleared his throat. "Oh."
A tense silence surrounded them. The variations of colour in his eyes were remarkably easy to notice from where she was standing. She was tilting her head up now, perhaps they were too close.
"Be careful."
"You told me that already," Mel whispered, unable to look away. "Anything else you'd like to say?"
"Yes," He paused, his eyes took a quick glance to her lips. "But if I say it you'll get mad."
Harry kissed her, Mel responded by pulling him down.
It was hard to tell whether she was euphoric or scared, perhaps both, or perhaps neither. As soon as it happened Harry jumped away, and she was dropped back into reality.
"I can't do it — We haven't talked about  the lifeline — We won't make the right choice if we let our feelings —"
"You're right! Yes!" Mel said, acting just as agitated. "It's a terrible idea — I like you, but—"
"—it's confusing," He said anxiously. "Do you have feelings for me?"
"Do you have feelings for me?" Mel asked in a high-pitched voice.
"No!" He responded, but his voice trembled with a lack of confidence. "I care about you a lot —"
"— I care for you too —"
"— But just —"
"— as friends!"
They stared at each other with the same frightened expression.
"I'm sorry if I made things uncomfortable," He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I... I don't want to lose you."
"We need to spend some time apart," She nodded, avoiding his eyes. "We can ignore this happened, right?"
"Absolutely," He agreed. "You're spending the summer at the burrow?"
"My mum and my brother will be there, so I kind of have to... is that okay?"
"It's okay," Harry looked around. "We... we should go."
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"Did you ever regret falling for my dad?" Mel asked randomly. "I mean, you ever wonder how things would've turned out if you'd stayed as friends?"
Emily stopped folding her clothes.
"Something nagging that head of yours?"
"I think relationships are a waste of time. They all break and you always end up hurting..."
"What makes you think such nonsense?" Emily raised a brow, leaning back on the couch. "Who are you and what did you do to my daughter?"
"You don't think that way?" She asked doubtfully.
"Because I lost my partners that means I have to be bitter?"
"I didn't mean it like that," Mel replied quickly. "But... yeah."
Emily remained silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts.
"Solitude can do weird things to your heart, love. It can pull you towards bad or good places... People that make you feel a little less lonesome, someone who understands you. You should hold onto that for as long as you can, no matter how scary it is. You never know what wonderful things may bring you..."
"Sirius said something similar a year ago," Mel said quietly. "Something about finding my equal, that the earth's full of options and stuff..."
"I won't force you to find a partner if that's not what you want, but you're young and the world is big, you can't turn your back on every opportunity."
"It's not like I have lots of prospects right now..." She huffed.
"You don't need lots, just the right one."
Mel hesitated for a moment, then added:
"I know you used to have a crush on James Potter."
Emily looked up from the laundry again, she raised a brow. "Oh?"
"I know it was a long time ago," She shifted in her place awkwardly. "But do you ever wonder what would've happened if you two..?"
The woman sighed.
"Only once."
"When?"
"When I found out Voldemort was after his son," She folded the last shirt and handed it to Mel. "I asked myself if I had made the right choice by giving him up... When I look at you I know it was the right thing to do. What happened to James and Lily... it was horrible, but it wasn't my fault. I was happy with your father; maybe Matthew wasn't my first love, but when it comes to this, your first love rarely is the one that lasts."
"Mel?" Erick walked into the room. "If we're planning to drive around all day tomorrow, you should sleep," He nodded shortly at both of them and left the room, her mother chuckled.
"You know, Erick reminds me of your father... I know Sirius said he was like his brother, but Regulus made all the wrong choices... Erick's done all this for himself, to be better. Just like Matty."
Mel's gaze lingered on the doorway long after Erick had left.
"Thank you, for letting me go," She sighed, looking back at the woman. "I don't love following Dumbledore's orders but I... I want to make this world a better place."
"Love," Emily cupped her face adoringly. "I know why you're doing this. Just how I knew why you flew that car to save Harry, and why you went to the Ministry... but you're my daughter, and it's my job to worry about you anyway."
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Erick and Mel took three changes of clothing and put them in the trunk, Emily gave them muggle money. Mel had a fake driver's license as well as Erick, and they would take turns driving. Harry was nowhere to be seen, but it was expected since it was five in the morning. She hadn't mentioned the kiss to either her mother or Erick, she was determined to keep it that way, much like the whole lifeline stuff and the prophecy.
'Just pile more secrets on top, why don't you,' She thought bitterly as she walked out of the house.
Emily hugged both and let them kiss Reggie goodbye, Mel promised they would see each other soon, and Erick vowed he'd make sure Mel would be safe (she snorted loudly at this). Once inside the car, her friend took a deep breath.
"Ready?"
"This isn't our first adventure, Prince."
"This one's the first we do with permission."
"You're an adult, you don't need anyone's approval."
"You know what I mean," He rolled his eyes.
"Sorry. I get defensive when I'm —"
"I know," He sighed. "I talk too much when I'm worried."
"I know," She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'm ready... We'll be okay."
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