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#arete rants

Dear Thorkis, 

your whole take that Loki being adopted justifies incest both disgusts and upsets me. Please learn to view things outside of a romantic lens and appreciate relationships that aren’t romantic. 

Sincerely,

someone who is adopted

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People don’t want children, people want someone who is completely dependent on them for every little thing and then is expected to worship the ground they walk when they provide their basic necessities.

People want control and to feel good about themselves, they want to feel part of the club where they can complain about the same people they claim to love.

People don’t want children, people want an accessory they can tote around to show off what a good person they are, or how rich they are or how they’ve accomplished something in life.

People don’t want children, people want power and acceptance and much of that is gained via having children, which people seem to forget are also human beings.

(This is talking specifically about white middle class people, I can’t speak for any other groups)

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I know we talk about how cis men need to respect and not shame people who have periods and need to educate themselves, etc. and that is really important, but I think it’s also important to discuss women’s roles in upholding this stigma, specifically regarding mothers with their daughters.

I got my first period at 11 and I was a bit unsure of course, but I was never embarrassed or ashamed about it. Even with the “hush hush” attitude general society has, I didn’t understand it and never picked it up from that, I learned it from my mother.

I remeber being in a public bathroom and going to pull a pad out of my bag (not even to just carry in my hand, I was gonna shove it up my sleeve) and my mother grabbed my wrist and snatched the bag off me, acting like I was about to pull out a severed limb. That’s not an exaggeration, she was genuinely horrified (and then wouldn’t believe me when I told her I wasn’t just gonna pull it out, but that’s a whole other thing).

And a lot of people I know are the same. They picked up their shame and embarrassment regarding completely natural bodily functions from their own mothers, the people who should be able to empathise with them most.

On top of this, I think women also encourage cis men to ignore and remain uneducated on this stuff. There have been plenty of times my father has tried to comfort me when I’ve had cramps and my mother has given him a look to discourage it. Granted some of those times I didn’t say anything to my dad, but that was because I was in pain, not because I was embarrassed.

The only person who has ever used my period to invalidate what I’m feeling is my mother. Whenever I do anything she doesn’t like, if I’m “moody,” or whatever, her first and tbh only question about how I’m feeling is “are you having/near your period?” I have been around cis guys who’ve been more sympathetic about PMS symptoms.

And besides, periods don’t magically create negative feelings, at least not in my experience. Rather it just makes it harder to bottle those feelings up, or it exacerbates them.

TL;DR - cis men need to be educated properly on periods, but quite frankly so do A LOT of women, and pretending otherwise is extremely ignorant

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