#aro exclusion

[tikycuki]

the way I explain that aros/aces aren't straight.

You can only be straight/hetero if you experience attraction (sexual/romantic) to the opposite gender. If you experience attraction to anyone else that does not fit that description, you are lgbt. this means aros/aces and all on those spectrums are not straight. because they don't feel attraction to the opposite gender.

of course, this doesn't mean you can't be hetero/ace or aro/hetero. you can still be one aspec identity and be hetero, it doesn't make you any less lgbtq!

(sorry if I explained weirdly)

#aro exclusion #ace exclusion #aromantic #aro pride #aro #arospec #aroace #i am aroace #oriented aroace #aspec #asexual #ace pride #ace #acespec #ace culture #ace spec #aro culture #aro spec

[corelliaxdreaming]

Character, literally: I’m not really into the whole romantic relationship thing.

Post after post: Cool, asexual rep!

It’s times like this it really does feel like aromantic representation will never get anywhere because even when it’s explicitly there, people ignore and erase it.

#also l to the people assuming aroace when character said nothing about sex #kids did in use that right? #arophobia #aro exclusion #aro erasure #aspec salt

[purple-mothman-majesty]

none of the arguments you listed are the ones we actually make. the argument is cis straight people aren’t queer. cis straight aces aren’t queer. lgbt aces are.

it’s not aphobic because aces aren’t being excluded—cis straight people are being excluded.

This isn't really a question, but I'm going to answer because someone may find it helpful.

The examples I listed are often used, (especially the oppression one) but the argument Anon mentioned is probably the most common one. I didn't include it though because I wanted to keep things lighthearted, pointing out the ironic, self-contradictory arguments. Whereas Anon's argument isn't as comical. But now that we're here, we might as well talk about it...

°✧*Rant time°✧*。

Heteromantic aces are not straight. Straight means you are heteromantic and heterosexual.

The fact that they can be romantically attracted to someone not of their gender doesn't cancel out their asexuality or make them suddenly relate to straight people's experience. They still experience sexuality differently than straight people. It doesn't they are safe from aphobia just because they're heteromantic. They still need a safe place away from the people who want to "fix" us. Believe it or not, the straights™ hate cishet aces too. Because they're still ace. they're still queer.

If someone is bi they aren't suddenly straight just because they experience heterosexuality along side homosexuality. Cis gay allos are cis & allo like straight people but that doesn't make them straight because they're gay. Similarly, cishet aces are cis & hetero like cis straight people, but they're not straight because they're ace. It's okay to have a couple of things in common with straight people, you're still queer.

What a lot of people don't realize (probably due to lack of representation) is that being ace or aro is its own unique experience even if you are hetero as well. Especially in the sex-obsessed, amatonormative world we live in.

Sometimes other queer people only focus on the hetero aspect of it, ignoring the fact that asexuality and aromantism are inherently queer on their own. Allos seem to separate it in their minds and think about it like this: "Look! That person is a

H E T E R O M A N T I C asexual. "

As if the asexuality doesn't completely change the way they experience the hetero attraction anyway. Their asexuality isn't just about what they don't feel, it's also about the way it effects what they do feel. Being ace is so much more nuanced than just "people who feel little to no sexual attraction." I can't explain all of it but, another thing about being aspec is, it feels like you're looking at life through a completely different lense. and understandably, if you aren't aspec and don't know much about aspecs' experiences, how are you supposed to know that? (Not that ignorance excuses aphobia)

Most hetero aces say that before they knew what asexuality was, they always had thoughts like, *"I'm really bad at being straight, I must be doing it wrong." Or *"I must be broken, I can't relate to straight people or gay people." Or *they just think they're bi until they figure it out ages later. And if they were straight they wouldn't even have to explain their sexuality to straight people in the first place. I imagine hearing someone call them straight must be baffling. Like, you've got to be kidding me!

*sidenote: straight people don't have those thoughts

I've even seen many gay and mspec aces and aros say that the aspec side of their identity makes them feel more queer and that it affects more things for them than their homo or mspec identity. Of course not all of them feel that way but it just goes to show you that even gay aspecs can tell you that being aro or ace is inherently queer.

Lastly aspecs have been part of the lgbtqia+ community since the beginning, even before the words asexual and aromantic existed. People can argue all they want but it doesn't change anything. You don't get to choose what other people identify as or whether they are in the community or not, that's up to each individual. They're here, they're queer let's give them a cheer! 🎉 🏳️‍🌈 👏👏👏

If you read this far, have some cake:

🍰 🍰 🍰

#lgbtqia+ #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #asexual #asexuality #ace #aromantic #aro #aromanticism #ace exclusion #aro exclusion #ace inclusion #aro inclusion #aphobia #lgbtqi #ace discourse #aro discourse #stop ace discourse #stop aro discourse #exclusionists #exclus #replies #my shenanigans

[an-incoherent-mess]

#pride month #lgbtqia #lgbtq christian #lgbt pride #queer pride #pansexual #aromantic #non-binary asexual #bisexual #high school #(im the pansexual) #pan exclusion #ace exclusion #nb exclusion #aro exclusion

[hopefullystillliving]

The A does not fucking stand for ally

I am asexual and aromantic and proud of it, and I am just as much a part of the community, just as queer, as any of my trans, gay, and mspec siblings.

Vent below (:

I realize that I'm sometimes a little optimistic, but I did really think that this wasn't an issue anymore, except for those terminally online exclusionists and the well-meaning but uninformed.

I did not expect it to be an issue at a college event's queer resource center table.

They had some buttons and stickers that I was pawing through. I didn't really expect my sunset aroace flag, since but I'm aware it's not terribly well known, but had hope for an ace and an aro button. Maybe with cute puns.

I found one generic ace sticker- a little heart, on a roll with several other flags. Including polysexual, omnisexual, pan, and bi. Amongst the buttons were many more obscure flags, like polyamorous, genderfluid, and agender.

And honestly even thought it bites, I usually get it! I'm used to it, you have to pick and choose your flags, right? Asexual isn't in the big 4 and aromantic is even less well known.

But to include polysexual and omnisexual alongside bi and pan, to include agender but not asexual or aromantic???

And I'm genuinely ecstatic they got recognition to be clear! I was very glad to see the polyam button especially, since I've never seen the flag in person before! But including so many more obscure identities and microlables when the term asexual has been around since the infancy of Pride, and aromantic is literally almost as old as me, give or take a year??

But what was worse to me was that they had a little calendar of events- I can't even remember the specific one, something like a discussion group?- but whatever it was, was titled LGBTQ & A.

As in: and allies. It just-

I get not wanting to use the extended acronym, it's bulky and hard to be inclusive even when you use the plus, and that's why I use queer. But then to say A is for ally?

I admit I feel kinda petty about being so hurt. But I have a right to my anger and frustration and sadness when the community I stand with that is supposed to stand by me just. Doesn't. Doesn't even acknowledge that yes love is love but some people don't and we're with them too!

I'm almost completely unable to interact with the community irl. To have this be one of my first, indirect as it was, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't think that this was an accurate picture of the center, and I have hope that it's better than it presented itself here.

The A is for asexual and aromantic (and agender too, if they want to use it). Not allies. I didn't think that visibility was too much to ask.

#vent #im leaving reblogs on for now bc maybe this will help someone who feels similar #but if anyone clowns im blocking without mercy the aro wrath is strong in me today do not try it #aromantic #asexual #queer #queer pride #queer wrath #aroace #aspec #anti exclusionist #ace exclusion #aro exclusion

[my-brain-is-hatching]

Being a minority doesn't make you incapable of being a bigot.

#terf #radfem #fuck terfs #fuck radfems #ace exclusion #aro exclusion #lgbt discourse #lgbt exclusionist

[auntbibby]

everyone keeps complainin about ace & aro ppl bein excluded from the lgbtq2sia+ spectrum and im like….

“?????”

is it really that honorable an achievement to be part of the queer person acronym??? whos gatekeeping the ace & aro ppl from this??? theyre just non-sex-likers and non-cuddle-likers, theyre not scary beasts!!!

i mean, i barely understand the difference between “grey” and “demi” but i dont see a reason to villify ace & aro ppl.

maybe i just dont understand what’s at stake cuz im a disabled transbian who’s never had a partner

#ace #asexual #aro #aromantic #gray asexual #gray ace #gray aro #gray aromantic #demi ace #demisexual #demi aromantic #aro exclusion #ace exclusion #allosexuality #allosexual #allosexism #i dont get it #lgbtq+ #lgbtq #lgbtq2s+ #lgbtq2s #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+

[luaminesce]

It's nearly 2024; can we not do ace discourse this year.

#as a lesbian #if you come after my ace/aro friends I will personally gouge your eyes out #asexual #aromantic #ace exclusion #anti exclusionist #exclusionists can fuck off

[bogkeep]

romance does not have a monopoly on love, you know this, that's step one. step two is that romance does not have a monopoly on yearning, on heartbreak. it's easy to think yourself immune, that you've been dealt a hand that'll let you dodge those arrows, but do you know how many ways there are to break a heart? how many ways there are to fall, even if not in love? your heart is just as strong as anyone's, so be kind to it.

#aro tag #idk sometimes i see posts like 'im aro so i will never experience all these shitty things associated with relationships!' #im sorry but i have news for you. not even bad news just news #there is no experience exclusive to romantic relationships out there

[theartofangirling]

aces and aros should be allowed to talk about our experiences without having it make them understandable or palatable to allos. we should be able to make stupid in-jokes that are incomprehensible to others. we should be able to be ambiguous or annoying or silly or confusing about our identities without having to explain ourselves

#just some thoughts pls feel free to ignore me #just thinking about the leftover marks of 2015-2017 ''ace discourse'' and exclusion and how it's impacted the ace community #-\_(ツ)_/- #asexuality #aromantic #aro ace #mp

[aspecpolls]

#aro #aromantic #arospec #aspec #anonymous #polls #i accidentally missed the “aro spaces often cater exclusively to western experiences” option on that last poll! #unsure if i should delete the previous one so for now i've remade it and turned off reblogs on the incorrect version #i'll wait to hear if the submitter is okay with the first being taken down #very sorry for the mistake!

[corelliaxdreaming]

Asswipes are still doing that thing where they respond to posts explicitly about aces AND AROS being excluded from the community with “yeah, aces are family!”

#Aro exclusion #Aspec salt

[softichill]

One of the funniest justifications I've heard for thinking people are in a relationship is "They hold hands" Like. Okay??? I hold hands with my friends all the time. Why is handholding suddenly an exclusively romantic thing

#Cricket chirping #Aromantic #aro #(Not an aspec exclusive experience btw you don't have to be aro to be bothered by this shit) #I get that handholding with someone you're attracted to can be nice or whatever #But that doesn't make the act of handholding itself a romantic thing

[soulrph]

what is force-shipping? (a PSA!)

what force-shipping IS:

guilting a partner into agreeing to a ship after initially declining the offer.

sending romantic or otherwise inappropriate (inappropriate because THEY SAID NO TO THE SHIP) memes despite them saying no.

writing a romantic or shippy starter/reply to a thread after they said no to the ship.

(listen this list will not end, let me finish this up with a very firm final remark:)

NOT RESPECTING YOUR PARTNER SAYING NO TO YOUR SHIP REQUEST.

what force-shipping is NOT:

asking your writing partners if they'd like to plot a romantic ship with you.

listen. forcing a ship is a conscious effort. if you're not able to respect your writing partners' decisions and choices when it comes to literal role play, then you need to step back and re-evaluate until you're able to do so.

BUT. you are NEVER forcing a ship simply by asking someone if they'd be interesting in shipping with you. it might be scary to ask. but once you respect their rules and boundaries, you're fine! there's never any harm in asking! just make sure you respect and honour their response, regardless of whether they say "yes", "no", or "maybe once we test their chemistry".

#psa. #ooc. #( naturally if your muse is gay or ace/aro or demi ) #( there will be limitations ) #( same applies for exclusively shipped blogs ) #( but once you respect the rules and boundaries they display ) #( you're FINE! )

[oc-factoids]

Tag the OC that’s allo-ace

Tag the OC that’s aro-allo

#as an allo-ace myself #lowkey sick of the very little rep we get being almost exclusively aro-ace #like don’t get me wrong aroace people absolutely deserve more rep!! #but when it’s the only rep we get it makes it seem like people who are one or the other HAVE to be both #does that make sense? #idk it’s almost midnight and I’m rambling oldie #shut up Allison #character prompt #character tag #oc inspiration #oc inspo #oc prompt #oc tag #oc questions #orginal character tag #original character

[thereallyreallylatebird]

Psst...aroaces

You're amazing and a vital part of the aro community

Also your flag is really pretty

-Your friendly neighborhood aroallo

#realized I almost exclusively talk about aromanticism in the context of aroallo people #which makes sense since i'm aroallo #but I also want to show some appreciation for my aroace peers! #a large chunk of the reason I figured out i was aromantic was by listening to aroace people talk about their experiences #it did take me a while bc i didn't fully internalize i could be aro without being ace #but i got there in the end! #and aroaces like Jaiden animations and randoms on tumblr discussing aromanticisim helped so much #so thank you! #aroace #aroallo #aromantic #thereallyreallylatebird #aro positivity #positivity