#aro is a little more difficult | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ltleflrt · 26 days

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Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol

So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.

So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.

Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.

I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.

In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.

(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)

I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.

Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.

This post is for them.

Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."

Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.

Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.

Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.

And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.

AND:

This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.

You're valid. You're one of us too.

And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)

#ltleramblings #queer stuff #seriously the fandom fights are so exhausting #thank goodness for the block button #asexuality

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onesidedradiostatic · 2 months

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aromantic alastor headcanons for aro-week (with some ace in there as well, because I think for alastor those things are so entwined, it's hard to separate them):

tried going out with girls a couple of times when he was alive, to make his mother happy, but always found a way to extricate himself from the attachment. this ties into his learning how to have complete control over any situation he's in

I wonder as well about whether or not he "passed" as white, or whether his community knew that he was creole, and how that affected his dating opportunities, and his paranoia, his need to be in control, basically his constant hyper-vigilance

got a lot of fanmail for his radio host work, women (and men, but more furtively) loooved his voice. this was acceptable, because (apart from some of the weirder ones) he could use this as a metric for how accepted he was in society, as well as how well he was passing -- both in terms of race and orientation, but also youknow, as someone who is definitely not clockable as a serial killer

although of course we know he also enjoyed company. he'd go out drinking and dancing a lot. was mimzy a bit in love with him? I just like the idea that people kept being incredibly taken with his charm and his politeness and his poise, because he does have all those traits. whether he notices...? (no). I mention this point not so much as headcanon, I just like that alastor as aroace and repulsed on both of those points, was never a shut-in about it. he's always been very lively (ha) and outgoing, and clearly likes being in the company of others... but maybe that last point has gotten to be a little difficult during his time in hell, due to having to be so careful about showing any kind of emotional "weakness." speaking of...

post-death became a more extreme version of himself -- that is, a man on a mission to be in control and create emotional distance between himself and others through the power of voice, rather than having to faff about pretending emotional connections where there were none. very suited for hell because of his precarious political lived reality whilst alive, and because hell is built on who has power and who doesn't. these are rituals he understands better than the strange romantic ones during life

the smile as mask and unhealthy coping mechanism -- wonder if when he was alive people swooned over his having a lovely smile (as well as its being useful to placate and to disorient people who had more violent intentions, and in both cases potentially to lure in victims). so the smile likewise became the most extreme version of itself. the smile in essence as the signifier of someone who doesn't fit into any boxes and needs to hide that fact, both by being mixed race and aroace, but then the smile itself becomes something that effectively owns him, because he literally cannot let it drop, ever (honestly if alastor ever stops smiling, it'll be the biggest gasp moment on this show)

all that being said, surprising connections do occur: rosie, I think, sees through him from the beginning, and she's so disarming (ha, disarming... cannibal joke) that she never feels like a threat + they're both cannibals, so there's a relaxed kinship there and maybe she reminds him of the parts of home he (secretly) misses a bit

I wonder how rosie figured out that alastor wasn't into dating. I think at first she might have thought he was gay, but then quite quickly seen that that's not it, he doesn't even like men much, and she feels like she's been around the block enough to piece together peoples' natures from one of a million other people she's known, so way before she knows the terminology, she knows, and crucially, she never judges or tries to force the point

I wonder how vox and alastor met -- whether vox was able to gain power on his own and this attracted alastor's attention, or if alastor saw something of himself (that turned out to be surface level) in vox, that is, they both wear smiles as masks, they're both presenters, their mediums may be different, but their aims feel similar. perhaps alastor was comfortable enough in hell at this point -- probably in a way he never was whilst alive -- that he was feeling magnanimous towards what must have felt a bit like an upstart. and most importantly, the constraints of alloromantic ideas are a comfortable 20 years in the past by now, alastor can barely remember that this was ever anything that was expected of him, or that others' could possibly feel about him

cue vox falling head over heels, the way people so often did while he was alive, and he... does not notice at all (barely a headcanon). I kind of feel like I don't have much to say on these two, because this blog is already a treasure trove of vox and alastor hcs!

I think rosie is the only one who knows alastor is aroace, although... maybe husk? not in so many words, but he knows alastor isn't interested in those things. nifty Does Not Notice Nor Care (in a good way). charlie i will forever think will at some point do a deep-dive on modern queer lingo and get everyone flags (this is practically word of god canon considering that older piece of art you shared). vox definitely doesn't know. val....... sort of kinda knows but in an evil way. vaggie does not care, but she'd be chill about it. mimzy... I don't think knows, mainly because she never cared to think about his behaviours, as someone who's quite self-centered on what alastor is to her. jeez, who am i missing... angel, does not know, head empty

speaking of angel, I think if he ever found out, especially with where he's at in his journey rn, would be very unhappy in some way about having stepped over his boundaries so often so casually at the beginning. dunno how he'd act about it, but i like the idea of vigilantly (and crudely, and bluntly) supportive angel if they ever manage to get alastor out on the town. more on the ace side of things but i can see him going: "do not try to fuck this guy! this guy is unfuckable!"

(i like hypersexual and deeply romantic angel + sex and romance repulsed alastor as unlikely friendship in my head. opposites finding common ground type stuff is always good)

at the end of the day, alastor living and dying in an amatonormative world and having to orient himself within that by building walls that persist/worsen after his death because of the culture of hell being predicated on who controls whom, veeeeery slowly discovering that he can be vulnerable on his own terms without people demanding things from him that he cannot give (smthinsmthin the hotel gang as the opposite of vox in that sense -- not only that sense, but also that)

also something about imagining his mother hoping he'd find a nice girl and settle down (in the way parents often do, because that's the metric of happiness right.....) and how he never could give her what she wanted, and maybe feels some very locked away guilt about that, which he thinks he'll never be able to deal with because his mother is in heaven, but perhaps in this story she'll get to see what he's built with the people at the hotel and that's really all she wanted for him in the end

OH MY GOD ANON THIS IS ALL SO GOOD?? THANK YOU SO MUCH HAHAHA. happy aro week everyone!! (x2)

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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 4 months

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Birthday Girl

Meian Shugo x Fem! reader (she/her)

Warnings: swearing, tiny “fight” scene, provocative dancing, kissing, Atsumu being bullied (?), suggestive themes, drinking

WC: 4.6k ~

AN: I’ve had this one in the drafts for a while and idk friends, it’s not that good 😅

“So what time are you guys heading to the club for YN’s birthday tomorrow?” Hinata asked his teammates as they pulled on their training gear and prepared for practice. Meian, listening from the other side of the lockers, was pulling on his shirt as the four youngest members of the Jackals talk about your birthday party plans.

“Well I told YN I’d pick her up so probably around 9,” Sakusa answered. A twinge of jealousy struck Meian as he slammed his locker door a little too hard, prompting Thomas and Inunaki to look over at him. Why did Sakusa have the privilege of picking you up for your special night? What made him so special?

He growled, walking past his teammates, going to the open office. Grabbing some paperwork, he began looking it over while his ears continued to tune into the conversation happening just outside.

“I booked the table starting at 8:30. I figured we could go and decorate before she got there,” Atsumu mentioned to the group as they all shook their heads in agreement.

“Ohh what did you get her? I was planning on going with Akaashi tonight to grab her gift,” Bokuto inquired as Atsumu smirked, shutting his locker and looking at his teammates.

“Like I’d tell any of you,” Sakusa huffed as Hinata and Bokuto narrowed their eyes in his direction. Atsumu just chuckled, shaking his head as Sakusa turned to his direction, “ok so tell us, what are you getting YN?”

“I’m gifting YN my assistance in bagging her a man,” Atsumu declared as Hinata, Sakusa and Bokuto looked at him in surprise, right before the burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

“Oh my god Sumu you’re joking right?” Hinata chuckled as Thomas and Inunaki rounded the corner to join their juniors.

“You can’t even bag yourself a steady date Sumu why the hell would you pass that curse to YN?” Sakusa laughed as Atsumu narrowed his eyes, hands going to his hips.

Meian tried to focus on the paper in front of him, the list of new training techniques given to him by the coach to try but Atsumu’s declaration of his gift made it extremely difficult to do anything else. He heard Inunaki and Thomas laugh at their setter.

“Atsumu, I doubt YN needs your help in that way. She’s fucking gorgeous!” Inunaki chimed in as the paper in Meian’s hand began to crinkle as his grip tightened.

“Yeah, she probably gets laid more than any of us do!” Thomas joked as the guys all hummed in agreement.

The pencil in Meian’s hand snapped as he continued to listen to his teammates talk about you.

“Well apparently, she’s been having a dry spell for a few months. She’s caught up on some fucker or something, so I figured what better way to help her than to get her laid!” Atsumu shouted, his hands going out as he declared his resolution.

Listening to Atsumu talk about your intimate life irritated the 6’6” captain. Meian tried his best to hide his attraction to you, for years he’d managed to keep things extremely professional despite his desire for more. He watched his teammates hang all over you while he did his best to maintain order. He wanted you to feel comfortable and safe in your job and he knew exactly how stressful it could be running the lives of an entire professional men’s volleyball team.

However, it became more and more difficult the closer you and him became. On bus rides, you’d always ask to sit next to him which at first, he happily obliged. Then you’d ask for your hotel room to be next to his, just in case you needed help with organizing team activities. Soon you’d be arriving early for practice, bringing him coffee and just talking before everyone else arrived. You’d stand right next to him during team meetings and huddles, your eyes locking with him as he looked around at his teammates right before a game.

Those eyes were the same ones he pictured as he fantasized about his made-up relationship with you. He pictured waking up next to you, kissing your cheeks as he tried to drag you out of bed for morning practice. He dreamed about cooking dinner with you and relaxing in your arms after a hard day at the gym. He wanted nothing more than for those dreams to become reality.

“Yo cap, are you good?” Barnes interrupted, sticking his head into the office as Meian snapped from his thoughts, the broken end of his pencil falling to the ground as his eyes shot to Barnes.

“Yeah- yeah, come on- oh and grab Sumu, I feel like I need to hit something.”

Barnes cocked his eyebrows in response, “you do mean volleyballs right?”

Meian ignored him, making his way straight for the open gym.

He fixed his navy button down, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows and undoing the top few buttons of his shirt. He normally didn’t dress like this, opting for shorts and sweats most days but he had to admit he cleaned up pretty well.

Turning to his nightstand, he grabbed the little velvet black box that contained your birthday gift. Opening if, he observed the simple yet classy diamond necklace that he’d purchased. He’d overheard you talking about accessories onetime with one of the guys. He was looking for suggestions to get his girlfriend and you had made a comment about how a lot of women love simple, yet elegant gifts. You had also told him to make sure that he did a good and thorough job of picking it out because his girlfriend would appreciate the effort.

Meian had taken your advice to heart when going to the jewelry store. He’d done some research online, finding the perfect necklace that would suit you. He wanted you to not only be able to wear it for special occasions but daily if you so desired.

Smiling at it, he closed the box and put it in a gift bag of your favorite color. He grabbed the card, a simple one with a blank inside so he could write his own message.

He contemplated what to say and exactly how to say it. He wasn’t always the best with words, usually being blunt and loud so the guys on the team could understand him, but you weren’t just a member of the team, you were someone special.

Dear YN,

I’m not great at these things and I think you know that better than anyone. However, for you, I’m going to try my best. I hope that all your birthday wishes come true and just know, you are incredibly special to me.

Happy Birthday

Shugo

Putting the card in the bag, he applied a few sprays of his favorite cologne and made sure his hair was in perfect order. As he grabbed his watch, it began to light up, signaling he had a call. He reached for his phone, accepting the call while he finished fashioning the straps.

“Sakusa what’s wrong?” He answered as the sound of Sakusa on speakerphone chimed thought.

“Fucking Sumu forgot to get YN’s cake so I have to go and get it! Apparently the bakery is about to close and Bokuto will have a crap attack if the cake he ordered isn’t there. I’ll be able to get to the club but I’d be late with Yn. Do you think you could pick her up? I told her I’d be at her place by 8:30ish and I don’t think I’ll have time to get the cake and make it to the other side of town by then.”

Meian looked at his watch, noting it was nearly 8:15, “yeah I can swing by and get her. You just take care of the cake, so Bokuto doesn’t go into emo mode at the club.”

Sakusa laughed, thanking his captain before hanging up. Meian sighed, running his hands thought his hair as he reached for his phone to text you. Sure he had wanted to be the one to take you to your birthday party but now that the opportunity was here, it made him more than a little nervous.

Meian: Hey YN, Sakusa got caught up and can’t come get ya so I’m gonna swing by your place in about 10 minutes. Is that ok?

He waited only a few seconds before his phone buzzed.

You: OMG YAY!!! That’s just fine Shugo! I’m so excited to ride with you! Just buzz my flat and I’ll let you in when you get here!

Meian smiled at your excitement, happy you were pleased he was coming to pick you up. He picked up his keys, grabbing his wallet and making his way to his car.

Once parked, he quickly threw the empty bottles of water and electrolytes in the back seat silently cursing himself for falling behind on his usual cleaning schedule. Once his car was in more presentable shape, he buzzed the bell to your apartment as the door instantly clicked open.

“Come on up Shugo!” You shouted through the speaker as he pulled the door open and headed upstairs. You lived on the third floor, but he figured taking the stairs would give him time to calm his nerves a little more. You’d hung out on numerous occasions outside of work so this wasn’t something new, but this was the first time he was actually picking you up for an activity. He only knew of your apartment because he had to pleasure of escorting you home a few times before.

He arrived at your door, a cute sign greeting guests that he thought perfectly described you as a person hanging from your door. He smiled, rapping on the door as you quickly pulled it open, the door chain jamming.

“Shit hold on!” You swore as Meian chuckled as you closed the door unlatched the chain and swinging it open once more. You stood there, a huge smile on your beautiful face and Meian slowly took you in.

Your hair was done perfectly your makeup flawless. You wore wearing perhaps the sexiest dress he’d ever seen, black satin with a low-cut neckline and petite straps that covered your mostly exposed shoulders. The dress was tight and short, stopping several inches above your knee, just above your mid thigh. You had black high heels on, with delicate bracelets around your wrists. You looked absolutely perfect.

“Wow,” he breathed out, “you look spectacular Yn.” You looked more that spectacular, you look darn right phenomenal.

A light pink blush formed on your face as you smiled at him, moving out of the way and allowing him to enter.

“Thanks, Shugo, you look incredible! I bet all the girls will be all over you tonight,” you chime in as a twinge hit Meian. He smiled and nodded, trying his best to ignore the comment, before stepping into your apartment.

“Are you ready?” He asked as you turned to grab your keys and purse. His eyes widened as he took in the entirety of your exposed back, your dress landing on your lower back. Your skin looked incredible even beneath the crappy lighting that was your apartment.

“Yep but I couldn’t find a necklace that went with this dress. Do you think it looks ok without one? I didn’t have anything that was simple.”

Meian looked at you as you stood in front of him looking absolutely perfect. Your body looked incredible, and your breast were pushed up magnificently as you waited for his response. Suddenly, it hit him, this was his chance.

“Well actually, here,” he remarked, handing you the small bag he’d gotten you for your birthday.

“Shugo you didn’t have to do this!” You exclaimed, grabbing the bag and opening it. Meian chuckled at your enthusiasm, clearly excited for the gift.

You pulled out the card, opening and reading it. Your eyes soften as your hand went over your chest and you smiled, “Shugo, you’re going to make me cry and I can’t cry, or my makeup will run!” Meian chuckle chuckled as you put the card down, going to him and reaching in for a hug. Your hands went around his neck as his hands gently slipped to your waist, holding you tight against him. You felt perfect in his arms, molding beautifully into his body.

You pulled back as he smiled down at you and nodded to the bag, “ok now open your actual present.”

You giggled as you pulled the box out, opening it, your mouth fell slack as your eyes widened with shock.

“Shugo oh my god, it’s gorgeous!” You exclaimed, stunned at the beauty of the necklace, “holy crap, this must have cost so much money! You didn’t have to do this!”

He approached you, taking it from your hand as you swing around. He gently pulled your hair to the side as you took it from him, lifting it up as he draped the necklace around you before fastening it in the back.

You turned to face the mirror, Shugo standing behind you as he watched your expression light up.

“I wanted you to have something special because of how amazing you are,” he whispered into your ear as you felt a shiver run down your exposed back. He was so incredibly close, and your body couldn’t help but react.

Suddenly the moment was broken, Meian’s phone blaring as a call came flooding in. He grabbed it from his pants, looking at the caller id and rolling his eyes. You giggled, knowing exactly who was calling.

“Sumu what!?” Meian shouted as you checked your makeup and grabbed your purse.

“Are you coming? All the guest are here and we are waiting for our birthday girl!” Sumu yelled, Meian pulling the phone away from his ear as you shook at your head at all the nonsense.

“She’s MY birthday girl,” Meian repeated in his head before answering Sumu with a resounding, “yeah leaving now. Be there in 10.”

Meian escorted you down to his car, opening the door before taking your hand and helping you in. He then quickly made his way around to the drivers seat before taking off.

After a few moments of silence, Meian decides to break the silence.

“So are ya excited for your party Yn?” He questioned as you shrugged.

“Yeah sort of,” you responded as Meian looked over at you in confusion, “oh don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful the guys are doing this but I’m definitely not use to being the center of attention. Heck I usually leave that up to you guys.”

Meian understood what you meant. Being in the lime light was difficult at times and their lives were practically all public knowledge.

“Well just know you deserve this and so much more Yn. You are an amazing person and such a great manager,” he remarked as he pulled up to the valet at the club your party was being held at.

Escorting you in, Meian couldn’t help but fantasize about how amazing you looked on his arm and how he wouldn’t mind this being an everyday thing. His fantasies were broken however by the loud sounds of at least a dozen men shouting.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY YN!” The crowd yells as you and Meian enter the cup area. The entire back of the club was decorated in balloons and streamers of your favorite colors, beautiful arrangements of a flowers splayed everywhere with a giant, three tier’s cake with your age right in the center.

Meian was pretty impressed that idiots managed to pull of such an elaborate setup. As you began to hug everyone, Meian wandered over to Inunaki.

“Damn this is a pretty rich set up, Bokuto and Atsumu did this?”Meian questioned as Inunaki laughed, shaking his head back and forth.

“Oh god no, Sakusa and I hired a company to do this. Atsumu just showed up to ‘supervise’ and Sakusa told Bokuto he could bring one balloon. It’s hidden behind all the other ones.”

Inunaki pointed out a colorful and big balloon with a cat on it that said, ‘Here’s to a PURRFECT Birthday!’

Meian laughed before his eyes shifted over to you. He watched as everyone continued to hug you and wish you happy birthday. He noticed Kageyama and Hoshiumi as well as the other Adlers joining in. His confusion grew as he looked around seeing the entire Adlers team around your birthday table.

Just as his brain processed the fact that their rivals were here, his arch nemisis, Fukuro Hirugami, showed up next to you, giving you a huge hug and lifting you straight off the ground.

“Ahh Fukuro!” You screamed, clung onto his neck as your dress began to slowly ride up. Meian’s blood pressure began to rise, anger filling him as Hirugami set you down and you pulled your dress back down.

“What in the hell are the Adlers doing here?” Meian growled at Inunaki as he shrugged, not knowing how to answer it.

“I have no clue dude. Atsumu or Hinata must have invited them. You know how much they love Yn. Why is there a problem?” Inunaki watched as his captains face grew red with frustration.

Meian was annoyed that the Adlers had turned up, knowing exactly how the team and especially Hirugami felt about you. He wasn’t shy about bringing up his attraction to you during their practice matches, making it blatantly obvious that he was staring at your ass on multiple occasions.

Meian had never wanted to punch someone in the face more than he did at this very moment. Hirugami’s eyes were glued to you in that dress, not that he could really blame the man, but damn did he have to make it so fucking obvious?

“Well let get this party started! Time to get our birthday girl smashed!” Atsumu shouted, pulling you towards the table filled with drinks and shots.

You sat down next to Atsumu, your eyes trailing to Meian as you motioned for him to come and sit next to you. He quickly obliged, moving past everyone before knocking shoulders with Hirugami on his way to your side. Their eyes met, Hirugami smirking at him as he turned to look in your direction. It was a silent challenge but one Meian would not back down from.

A few shots later and you were feeling a good buzz. Meian wasn’t complaining one bit, your body pressed against his as you talked and joked with your friends.

“Alright Yn, you owe me a dance let’s go!” Hinata shouted, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the dance floor. Bokuto and Hoshiumi followed as Meian watched you having fun. He loved the way your eyes lit up and how spectacular you looked dancing. God, could you move your body flowing so effortlessly and perfectly in tune with the music.

“So, tell me, is Yn still single?” Hirugami asked, sliding up next to Meian, his expression narrowing in on his arch-nemesis.

Meian’s blood boiled at the thought of you anywhere near Hirugami. “She’s not a fuck toy Hirugami, stay away from her!”

Hirugami laughed, shaking his head before responding, “nah dude, I was gonna ask her to dinner. She’s fucking hot man, I’m surprised one of you haven’t bagged her already.”

His anger only grew as he watched Hirugami turn to face you, his eyes watching your body move as if it wasn’t a privilege.

Meian stood up, looking down at Hirugami, “stay the fuck away from her.” He began to walk away as Hirugami watched him, his smirked widening.

Meian went to the bar, grabbing a shot and pouring it back. He had to cool down, he couldn’t let Hirugami’s stupid tricks get to him. There was no way he’d not know Meian liked you by the way he acted.

“If you plan to turn into a raging alcoholic, could you maybe give me a heads up so I can deal with coach?” A voice chuckled as Meian turned to see Barnes walking towards him.

“Don’t think you have to worry about that,” Meian answered, turning around to see his friend and teammate approaching.

“You know, I’m pretty sure everyone except Yn knows you like her. Why don’t you just tell her and put yourself out of this misery,” Barnes suggested, leaning against the bar.

“Is it really that obvious?” Meian asked as Barnes turned to him and smiled.

“So obvious man.”

Meian turned back to the dance floor, eyes locking on you, only this time, you weren’t alone.

Hirugami was right behind you, his hands on your hips as you swayed to the music. He watched, anger boiling over as Hirugami pulled you closer to him, your hips and ass grinding against him as he stuck his head down, to rest next to your ear.

“Shugo you ok-” Barnes asked as Meian took off from his station at the bar, headed straight for you and Hirugami.

“Shit Inunaki!” Barnes shouted and pointed as the Libero’s eyes followed the line of sight to see their captain practically running towards you and Hirugami.

“Damn it! Bokuto, Thomas!” He shouted, the two men near him spotting Inunaki running towards Meian.

“Oh fuck,” Thomas yelled, quickly racing towards the dance floor.

Meian grabbed your arm, pulling you toward him as you jolted, falling into his chest.

“Shugo what’s wrong?” You asked, his hand going to your waist as he glared at Hirugami who now had a sly smirk on his face.

“I told you to stay the fuck away from her,” Meian growled, pulling you behind his back as you watched the two men go toe to toe.

“Didn’t know you laid a claim on her Meian, you really shouldn’t let her out of your sights,” Hirugami smiled smugly as Meian got into his face.

You stood behind Meian, scared of what was about to happen. You looked around, seeing Inunaki, Barnes, Bokuto and Thomas headed towards you as well as Heiwajima, Romero and Sokolov from the Adlers.

“Captain back down,” Barnes insisted as Inunaki pulled you away from the confrontation. The last thing he wanted was for you to get hurt.

“Yeah Meian, back down,” Hirugami spat out as Meian growled and shoved the captain of the Adlers. Your hands flew to your face as you watched Hirugami, fall back a few feet.

“Hey knock it off!” Romero shouted, Hirugami going back into Meian’s face, the two going nose to nose. You stood there, in shock at what you were witnessing. You couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Shugo, Fukuro stop it!” You shouted but neither of them heard you, their egos both too loud to hear anything but their own minds. Atsumu, Hoshiumi, Ushijima and Hinata had joined the group now while Kageyama came to stand by you and Inunaki.

“Come on your guys!” Someone shouted as Meian and Hirugami continued their stare off, suddenly Hirugami shoved Meian who stumbled back a few feet as a small squeak sounded torn from your lips as you mindlessly began to make your way towards the men.

“YN not! Don’t go over there, you’ll get hurt!” Inunaki grabbed your wrist, swinging you around as you screamed.

“Someone has to stop them!”

Like an Angel from above, Sakusa made his way through the crowd, getting in between Hirugami and Meian as the other men began to approach as well.

“Alright knock it the fuck off! Jesus Christ this is YN’s birthday and you guys are ruining it!”

Meian snapped to Sakusa, his mind clearing as his thoughts drifted from rage to concern. He turned his head to find you, standing by Inunaki and Kageyama and looking extremely scared.

“Fuck!” Meian shouted before turning and leaving out of the club. You tore yourself for Inunaki, running after him as fast as your heeled feet would carry you.

“Shugo wait!” You shouted, running after him as he plowed through the crowd. Once outside he kept walking as the sound of your heels hitting pavement followed him.

Meian was so incredibly angry with himself for ruining your party and your birthday. He’d let his anger get the better of him and done something he never wanted to do, scare you.

He stopped, turning around to respond to you, “look Yn I’m sor-”

Suddenly you fling yourself at him, his eyes widening as your arms went behind his neck and his hands went around your waist. You slammed your lips against his, his eyes wider than before as he slowly melted into the kiss, your arms grasping him tightly as he pulled you close to him.

“YN, what-?”

“Shugo god you are such an idiot!”

Meian looked at you, confused as to what was happening. He had just ruined your birthday party but yet, you didn’t look upset or heartbroken. In fact, you were smiling up at him.

“Don’t you see, it’s always been you Shugo. I’ve been dropping hints that I’ve been interested in you for months now and well, you never reciprocated.”

Meian studied your face, looking for any sort of deception or falsehood in your statement. There was just no way any of this was happening right now.

“YN be serious for a minute please. There is no way you could possibly like me.”

You sighed, before pulling out your phone and tapping away. Meian was even more confused as you turned your phone around to show him the messages that had taken place between you and the team.

You: ugh I don’t think I can take this anymore!! He’s so incredibly hot 🥵

Sakusa: Yn keep your thirsting to a minimum please, it’s gross

Barnes: Jesus Yn just confess to the man already!

You: I can’t 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Inunaki: why not? You two hang out all the time and act like your dating so just make it official already

Atsumu: I know what’s holding you back YN

You: you do sumu 🤨

Atsumu: yep, it’s your crush on me

Sakusa: oh my god

Bokuto: Meian and YN sitting in a tree…

Hinata: K I S S I N G 😘

You: I regret ever telling you all anything

Thomas: probably would have been easier to just confess right 😂

Meian read the texts over and over, looking for something, anything that would prove you were lying but there was nothing. You weren’t lying and you did like him.

“Well shit,” he chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head as you blushed.

“I know there was probably better ways to tell you Shugo but well-”

Before you could finish, his lips were on yours again, pulling you in closer as the kiss deepened. His tongue met yours, battling for dominance as he quickly took over. The kiss was incredible and everything felt perfect.

He broke the kiss, a huge smile cresting his face as he looked down at you, matching expression staring back at him.

Meanwhile…

“See my master plan to find YN a man worked,” Sumu exclaimed as MSBY all stared, unimpressed at Atsumu’s declaration.

“Sumu you’ve spent the entire night flirting with girls, what help did you give Yn?” Hinata questioned, a look of confusion growing on the red heads face.

“Yeah you weren’t even here when we broke up the fight between the captains,” Shion returned as Atsumu waved him off.

“That was the whole plan guys! I trusted in you guys and let nature take it course,” Atsumu proudly declared as everyone stood up and walked away from the table leaving Atsumu all alone.

“It’s fine,” he declared, “y’all can thank me later.”

#meian shugo #meian x reader #meian x female reader #reader insert #haikyuu!!#meian shugo x reader #MSBY Meian #x female reader #x fem!reader #x female y/n #Meian Shugo timeskip #Meian timeskip #Meian MSBY

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chrollohearttags · 10 months

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four letter word • reiner braun

romance didn’t come easy and learning was even harder but he’d do everything he could to make sure you felt loved.

no hardcore warnings, mainly fluff and a little angst (.1 second sex mention). Self indulgent because my lil aro ass is feeling dysphoric and moody tonight 🥺

“Whaddaya think, sugar? You like it?”

“It’s beautiful…”

you were speechless, at a loss for words for a better lack of terms. Tonight was like any other that you had shared with your partner of six months and some change, Reiner. Seated on the tailgate of his pickup, gazing at the stars above as he cradled you close with his arm and jacket draped across your shoulders. Out in the miles of fields and grassland that he and his hands tended to on the daily. For this particular occasion, your anniversary, he had littered the greenery with your favorite flowers and surrounded them with lights that spelled out three words ‘I love you.’ A very sentimental and shocking gesture to say the least. Not one person in your lifetime had ever even thought to do such a thing. On top of the amazing dinner at one of your favorite places and the countless other gifts. You were thankful…beyond blessed to have someone like him in your life.

“Well I wanted to do somethin’ special for ya’..”

“Special is understatement, pumpkin. I think you’ve outdone yourself..thank you..”

however, as the words left your mouth, Reiner couldn’t help but to note the faintest glimmer of gloom in your eyes. Underneath the pale moonlight, he’d gently reach for your chin and tip your face up towards his. You looked beautiful; a vision of pure perfection to him but even so, underneath your makeup and beaming smile, he could tell that something was amiss. So he decided to test his looking theory and utter the phrase he had been waiting to say all night:

“Of course, poundcake. I’d do anything to see ya’ smile. I love you, (y/n).”

it was then, whilst holding your face, he’d feel you tense up within in his grasp and the visible reaction spread across your face. You always did it..hesitated when he confessed his admiration for you. It wasn’t for a lack of feeling the same. You cared deeply for him..more so than any man who’d ever come into your life. But no matter how many times he told you, how many touches he bared and the kisses he gave you, you still found it difficult to mimic the words back. This was something he knew when he met you. That dating, relationships…it was all a challenge for you. He hadn’t had many partners in his own life either so he understood but it didn’t make it easier to quell his overly affectionate urges. Even so, he wanted to make you happy and he’d be as patient as possible to ensure you were comfortable. But you still felt bad! You felt as if you’d failed him as a partner. You were trying your hardest to but it felt like the words just caught in the back of your throat each time.

“..you did it again.”

“What?”

to which he’d only respond with a rather stern and somber look and you couldn’t take it. You’d begin to tear up a little before bursting into laughter. Which confused him all the same! “God, I suck. Don’t I?” “Of course not, baby! Why would you say that?!”

you knew he was trying to see the best in the situation as he’d always done but you couldn’t forgive yourself for nearly ruining this entire night. Not when he put so much thought into it. Not when he spent every single day living only to treat you like the queen you were! But just as you’d begin to cry, he’d gently brush a thumb over your cheek and continue to reassure you as he had done time and again before. “(Y/N). I know this is all new to ya’ and it’s hard. I know you’re trying your best and that ya’ care for me too. I feel it every single day..in the things you do for me. The food you make me on my lunch break, the little gifts ya’ buy me..and especially that thing you do with your tongue and the whipped cream—“ earning him a playful slap to the shoulder. “My point is, just because you don’t express it in the way everybody else does, doesn’t mean you don’t care. And it damn sure doesn’t mean that I love you any less. I couldn’t stop doing that if I tried.”

and if you weren’t already an emotional wreck prior, you were done for now! Wiping away those few strays, you’d begin to cheer up, feeling relief that he didn’t resent you for your romantic displays or lack thereof..no matter what, he wasn’t going anywhere! Not for now and not for a million lifetimes. You guys were in it for the long haul..reaching over, he’d pull you into a big embrace and eventually, a passionate kiss, leaving you with a peck to your forehead. “I love you, Rei..so much.” And he’d never let you forget that he felt the same! Now that that was all settled, he just had one more pressing matter to address:

“Now…speaking of that whipped cream—“ asking with his face tip downward as he eyed you and you’d merely shake your head and laugh.

“Hold on, papa. We just had dinner. Gonna have to wait a lil’ bit for dessert now.”

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jabbage · 3 months

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You're right, being allo is exhausting. And sometimes I think other allos lash out at ace and aro people because it feels so unfair that other people could be happy without a romantic partner and/or having sex. Because being single is honestly miserable and sometimes I find myself quietly resenting people who don't have an emptiness from that so I can imagine people who are less self aware and more willing to take their problems out on others turn that into aphobia instead of doing some soul searching to understand why they're upset.

I'm afraid I don't specifically know what this is in response to, which makes it a little difficult to know what you want from me. I've had this blog over a decade and I've never been good at tagging. I might have joked about allosexuality seeming exhausting - I think whenever you come across someone who structures a lot of their life around something which has no or little part in your life, it seems 'exhausting'

But here are my thoughts to what you've written.

I think that people who feel the way you describe fundamentally misunderstand what asexuality and aromanticism are.

They're not a magical inoculation against the effects of allo and amatonormativity.

Being ace or aro definitely does not mean that you innately feel happy and content without a romantic or sexual partner.

We live in a world which ties emotional vulnerability, sexual pleasure, financial stability, security in old age, social success and many, many other things to sexual and romantic connections. I can assure you that it can feel very, very empty and very very lonely to live in a world where everything from your education, the media you consume, the legal and social structures around you, are telling you that the bonds you have with others will never be as important as those which are romantic or sexual, and where a very common and frighteningly accepted response to your sexuality is that you have something deeply wrong or missing on a fundamental level. That is exhausting, and lonely, and scary.

For what it's worth I don't actually think my asexuality is the thing which makes me content with being single. I think it's just been the catalyst for figuring out a happy shape for my life which doesn't require a romantic relationship, because I HAD to.

Perhaps for you, you feel that emptiness, but you think perhaps one day you'll find a relationship which will solve it.

If I felt that way, I would potentially feel empty forever. I had to, very slowly, and with luck and privilege playing important roles, create a life for myself where I don't feel an empty space without a romantic or sexual partner. And I'm still scared, because it is scary when you're living in a way that society is not kind to, socially, financially, legally, etc. I'm happy now, perhaps I won't be one day. I don't know.

But I think everybody deserves to feel secure and loved and fearless and free and successful without requiring romance or sex in their lives - even if they do participate in those things, even if those things are very important to them, even if they want them very much.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, and I wish you lots of happiness in your future <3

#asexual #asexuality #aromantic #aspec

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goaroweek · 2 months

Text

Allo/aro discussion of relationship fanfics

Velocity by cyankelpie

“Sorry. I should’ve checked with you first.” Crowley swallowed. “Won’t happen again. We’ll go as slow as you like.” Another sick thud landed in Aziraphale’s stomach “I-I appreciate that,” he said carefully. “But I’m afraid it isn’t an issue of speed, Crowley. It’s…direction.” (Aziraphale had known for a long time that Crowley loved him. He just never realized Crowley loved him like that.)

no truer love by rattatatosk

“I just... worry, that's all. That I'm... not enough. That this--” he waves a hand between the two of them-- “isn't enough. That you might want more, and I--” he grimaces. “I can't give it.” Aziraphale can only stare at him blankly, hopelessly lost. “More?” he blurts, "What do you mean, more?" Crowley flaps his free hand irritably. “You know. More. Long-walks-on-the-beach more. Candlelit dinners more. Down-on-one-knee-with-a-ring-and-a-box more. You know. Romance.” (Crowley is anxious that he can't offer Aziraphale what he needs; Aziraphale reassures him that he's already got more than he could ever ask for.)

Everybody Loves A Little Different by teatales

Armagedidn't helps Aziraphale come to a realisation. Crowley does his best to be brave. AKA Aromantic!Crowley because obviously.

A Difficult Conversation by MerenwenNolat

Things are going swimmingly post-armageddon't. Crowley doesn't want to cock it up.

#good omens #go aro week #aro week #fanfiction #aziraphale #crowley #aromantic

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monarch-of-jack · 2 months

Text

I might be the only one here. But the reason I feel conflicted when I see people shipping and sexualizing Aspec characters, is because I don't trust most of you to be respectful about it. Not to mention some of you straight up arent.

Yes, Aspecs are an incredibly diverse group of people. I KNOW. I've been in their circles for well over 10 years. But do you all really care about that?

If you don't, then you're really just using it as an excuse to ignore their identities.

Let me make it very clear that I support exploring ALL the nuanced ways that someone can be Aspec. We are so much more varied than just sex-repulsed Aces and romance-repulsed Aros. (Though those are still valid experiences, don't shit on them!)

There are Allosexual Aromantics. There are Alloromantic Asexuals. Aspecs in Queerplatonic Relationships. Grey-Aspecs, Demi-Aspecs, Oriented AroAces, Cupio-, Flux-, Lith-, Fray-, Recipro- Aego-, and a million other types of Aspecs. It's a huge spectrum.

And orientation doesn't equal action. There are sex/romance favorable Aspecs. There are kinky & kink favorable Aspecs. Aces that have and have had sex for whatever reason. Aros that are and have been in romantic relationships for whatever reason. Maybe they felt pressured. Maybe they were experimenting. Maybe they were still finding themselves. Maybe they were forced. Maybe they do it for their partner. Maybe they do it for money or their image. Maybe they just like it despite lacking attraction. Aspecs are people. They are all different and all equally valid in how they live their lives.

A character being Aspec literally just means they're lacking attraction in one way or another. So there's still endless possibilities in creating canon and fanon for them.

But are most of you really shipping characters like Alastor, Peridot, Jughead and co. as Aspecs, or are you looking for excuses to disregard their identity?

Have you actually educated yourself about their identities so you can portrait them accurately and respectfully? Are you infantilizing and patronizing them or make them act stupid? Do you make them pitiful, antisocial, or 'difficult to deal with'? Are you arguing with Aspec people when they point out something is problematic? Are you accepting input from Aspec people? Do you explain that you're shipping/sexualizing that Aspec character because of your specific headcanon or AU? Do you get angry if you have to clarify that after the fact? If you as an Allo, ship or sexualize Aspec characters, do you really do it with them still being Aspec?

The thing is, you can. But a lot of you don't. And that's why Aspec people react defensifely.

We have little to no representation in the media as it is. And yet you're annoyed when we ask you not to diminish or erase their identities.

I want to see Aspecs in all kinds of situations and with all sorts of preferences. But way too many of you are ready to shit on Aspec identities to get your fanon out.

I could go on for days about this. But the fact that some of you will get angy that I even made this post is exactly what I'm talking about.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #asexual #aromantic #aroace #aspec #jughead #riverdale #peridot #steven universe #demisexual #greysexual #demiromantic #greyromantic #aspec community #aspec pride

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the-dawn-star · 3 months

Note

Hello, hello!! may i request for a poly!volturi kings x professional magician!reader except reader uses her magic shows and tricks to distract her audience while she secretly steals all their money and stuff? very much a big bad reader hahaha! can be platonic or not, it's fine.

A/N: Hey, I don't know how well I filled this but I hopw you still enjoy it. The first part is more of first meeting and back story and then the second part has more general headcanons.

-S

+300ish words.

One of the main sources of income in Voltera is tourism. Tourists all over the world come to the town to see all the historical sights and beautiful architecture.

So, just like any other tourist destination there were people wanting to profit off of the rich tourists. And you were one of those.

You had one of your performances on a lovely breezy evening. Sun had gone down which means it was a perfect time for your show.

A good group of tourists were standing around your little stage while you did your tricks. They were fairly simple, but the tourists liked them enough.

Your main trick was a bit more difficult. Stealing some tourist's expensive looking watch and wallet from their back pockets didn’t need much work to be honest.

You hid the watch and wallet in the inside pocket of your jacket quickly before shutting your show down and leaving as quickly as possible.

You ran to a small alley to get away from the touristy areas of the town only to stop when you saw four people at the end of the alley chilling, talking quietly in italian.

The moon was the only source of light, and it illuminated the people beautifully. Three men and one young-ish looking girl.

You turned around wanting to give the people some privacy. But you were stopped by the words of one of the men.

“Your performance was lovely, almost just as lovely as you are stealing from the pestering tourist.” You turned around to see the people with their attention now on you with all of their eyes glowing red.

~~~

The kings are actually not bothered by your tricks and you stealing. I mean it doesn’t hurt them and pickpockets exist even if you don’t do it.

They also see it as a bit of a hobby.

They like to see you practicing your tricks and performances even if they can notice when you are trying to steal one of Aro’s ancient pocket watches.

You stealing from people and doing magic in general doesn’t cause a lot of problems etc.

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musings-of-a-rose · 1 year

Note

Here is my Benny idea. He gets worried his baby work nights. Reason why he takes her to and from work. Go out to their favorite hangout for a late dinner. Then spoil her as soon they get home.

Take Care of You

Pairing: Benny Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 1100+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: Thank you for being so patient while I wrote this!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

I never understood why Benny insisted on taking me to and from work. I thought his concerns about me working night shifts were silly and there really was no need to make such a fuss.

Until that lady was mugged, barely making it out with her life.

Benny never did the “I told you so bit”, only relived I had the night off that day. If he wasn’t insistent before he is now, arranging his own schedule so he can bring me to work and drop me off.

One night, he notices the extra exhaustion in my eyes, my shoulders slumping from a particularly difficult shift, and he quietly steers his jeep to one of our favorite late-night diners.

“I figured you could use a burger and fries. Maybe a milkshake?” His blue eyes are full of concern as they scan my face.

“I fucking love you, Benny.”

He chuckles. “I love you too, sweetheart. Come on.”

He escorts me inside and orders 2 giant bacon cheeseburgers with a large basket of fries, getting me my favorite milkshake. He listens to me vent about my day, nodding and making helpful comments when I manage to pause my rant.

Once we get home, I kick off my shoes, groaning at the instant relief I feel. Benny comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head.

“Why don’t I fill you a bath?”

I groan again at the thought of submerging my body into a hot tub.

He chuckles. “I take that as a yes.”

He kisses me again and heads down the hall to the bathroom, the sound of water filling the tub floating down the hall a minute later. I follow him, watching as he tests the water, adding a homemade bath bomb to it and giggling when the water turns a fun color. When the bath is full, he turns to me, gently helping me out of my work clothes, his fingers brushing lightly against my skin leaving goosebumps in their wake. His lips brush against the spot where my neck meets my shoulder and I shiver, letting out a quiet moan. He holds out his hand and helps me in the tub, making sure I settle down into it, my entire body submerged, head resting on the little neck pillow he’d insisted on buying.

He grabs my loofah and soap, eyebrows raised in question at me, a silent ask if I want him to wash me. The warm bath water is seeping into me, making me feel lazy. I nod, leaning my head back a little further on the bath pillow. Benny lathers up my loofah and takes my hand, giving the back of it a little kiss before he starts to gently scrub my hand and up my arm, repeating the motion on my other side. He scoots back reaching down into the water to pull up my foot, gently setting it down on the side of the tub. He grips my foot, fingers applying some semi firm pressure as he massages the stress away. I can’t help the moans that escape me, missing the way Benny squirms where he sits.

“Oh God Benny! That feels so good.”

He hums to himself and I crack and eye open to see a smile on his face, eyes focused half on my foot and half on my boobs as they poke out of the water. He repeats his massaging on my other foot, earning himself more praise as he works the knots out. He picks up my loofah, lathering it up and starts to gently scrub at my foot, moving slowly up and around my leg. He gets to the spot where my thighs meets my hips and pauses, glancing up at me before he slides the loofah over my cunt, putting slightly more pressure as he gently moves in circles. I moan, my hips moving up to meet the pressure, but the loofah is in the way of what I really want to feel. Reaching out, I still his wrist, an apology forming on Benny’s lips as I pull the loofah from his grip, setting it off ot the side. I take his hand and place it back on me, returning my arms to their original place of leisure.

Benny understands what I’m asking for and immediately starts to slide a finger through my folds, softly rubbing circles into my clit as he does so. I groan, trying to shift my hips a little closer, but then he pushes 2 fingers into me and I sigh, his name on my lips as he curls his long fingers, seeking out that spot that makes my toes curl. He finds it fast, tapping lazily on the spot while still rubbing circles into my clit. The warmth of my impending release spreads through me rapidly, my head pushing into the pillow as my legs tremble, a soft cry of pleasure escaping me as Benny pushes me over the edge, still gently caressing those spots he knows will make me feel good.

Once I’m down, Benny removes his hand, moving to grab the loofah and lather it up, washing my other leg, pausing to massage my foot there too. A soft smile plays on his lips as he keeps glancing up at me, his smile growing wider as he watches my heavy breathing. He takes his time, washing the rest of me and giving me one of the best scalp massages I’ve ever had. When he’s done, he empties the bath, helping me to stand and get out of the tub, which I’m thankful for because my legs are made of jelly at this point.

He helps me into some pajamas, chuckling darkly when the towels brushes across my oversensative core and I twitch. I slide into bed, Benny pulling the covers up my body, leaning over to kiss the top of my head before he turns, starting to walk away.

“Wait - where are you going?” I ask, my hand reaching out for him.

“You want me with you, sweetheart?”

I nod. “I need…”

Benny smiles. “Do you need some buddles?” (Benny Cuddles)

I chuckle at his made up name. “Yes please.”

Benny slides into bed, pulling me to him, practically purring as I burrow into his chest, inhaling the scent of him. Immediately I feel the last bit of stress melt away, and before I know it, I’m asleep.

Benny pets my hair, somehow managing to lean over and kiss the top of my head, speaking into my ear how much he loves me.

—----

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed @ladykatakuri @marrianena @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @ichigodjarin @justreblogginfics

#benny miller #ben miller #benny miller x reader #benny miller x you #benny miller x f!reader #triple frontier #garrett hedlund #benjamin miller #benjamin benny miller #garrett hedlund x reader #garrett hedlund x you #garrett hedlund characters #garrett hedlund character fanfic #garrett hedlund character ff #garrett hedlund character fanfiction

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that-foul-legacy-lover · 11 months

Text

Brightest Star

Synopsis: In a world eager to give and receive love, you fail to meet expectations. Foul Legacy shows you that you’re perfect the way you are.

Foul Legacy Childe x Reader Pronouns: Gender Neutral (no pronouns mentioned) Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Happy ending Warnings: Mentions of vomiting, nervousness, death, self-loathing, reader has a difficult time romantically loving other people, reader has difficulty accepting love from others, reader feels like they are “broken” because of this

Note: I realize that the contents of this fic might come off as very insensitive to people who are part of the aro/ace community- this is not my intention. This fic is partially based off my personal struggles with the concept of loving, dating, etc, and is not meant to invalidate anyone’s identity. Please proceed with caution if you think this fic might be upsetting to read for you.

~ * ~ You’re not an ideal lover. Oh, how you wish you could be, as the concept of being held in a special someone’s arms fills your chest with warmth; sweet little daydreams imagined in your head. You see couples on the streets- partners, friends, newlyweds- all celebrating the different types of love they have for each other, and in your eyes, it’s beautiful. A wonderful occasion, worthy of the highest praise, and you clap and cheer and wish you could find someone to love on your own. But wishes rarely come true, and your desire to adore and be adored entirely is overshadowed by the stone-cold truth of impossibility. For you have never loved, and don’t know if you ever will love. Surrounded by all walks of life in Liyue Harbor, you drifted through existence alone, putting on a polite smile of false security. To satisfy your thirst for understanding, you would observe the people of the city, taking note of each and every laugh, argument, and rejection that passed by your eyes, and more and more your curiosity grew. Love is multifaceted, and it both soothes and burns the souls of mortals and gods alike, a flickering candle and a roaring flame all at once. Ah, how you sometimes wish to have it in your hands. By the time you were grown, you had made relative peace with life, content to watch and celebrate others loving and being loved if you could not have it for yourself. It was an excellent type of joy- happiness, to you, has many forms- to see your dearest friends so elated, their cheeks warm with both embarrassment and delight. Perhaps in those years you had mastered a type of love, platonic love, and you cherished and protected it as your most precious treasure. But still, sometimes it hurts. No matter how many times you reassure yourself that you don’t mind, it always feels like something is wrong with you, thinking about romance and fantasy. Because no matter how much you yearn for it, you just don’t seem to be capable of loving a partner- even less so being loved back. It’s lonely in the Harbor, and you are the star of its melancholy, hiding your worthlessness behind your malfunctioning heart. It was sheer coincidence- or perhaps fate- that your paths intercepted, the thread of your life crossing and looping around his as you look up one day, out on your daily walk, and catch the cold azure eyes of a stranger. But those eyes simply curl upwards as the copper-haired man dressed in gray waves to you, the garb of the Fatui outshone by the beaming smile on his face. The Eleventh Harbinger, the Lord Tartaglia. Something sparks in your heart like fireworks and you stumble, disoriented. It fades to background noise as he rushes over to help you to your feet, but it’s still there, you can feel it just out of reach, and it makes your cheeks grow warm in confusion. Is this what dying feels like? There are butterflies only you can see, brushing their wings against your cheeks and making your stomach twist and turn. But Tartaglia laughs kindly, giving your grasped hand a firm shake, and suddenly you find yourselves acquainted. For Tartaglia- or Childe, as he goes by in Liyue- acquaintances are little more than friends who’ve barely met. Somehow he keeps finding you at corners, shops, even when you’re simply eating alone, sauntering over to sit down beside you and talk your ear off. All the while you’re silent, conflicting emotions of nervousness and delight and trepidation and perplexity whirling around until you’re a mess, a muddled disaster who only wants to scoot closer and lay your head on Childe’s shoulder, if only you were brave enough. Is this what love is? That’s impossible. You’re supposed to be broken, condemned to a life of loneliness. Or are you just breaking more? It only gets worse when Childe shows you Foul Legacy, his monstrous half originating from deep beneath the world, from a vast Abyssal ocean of stars. He’s a creature of destruction and decay- yet you’ve never met anyone sweeter, Foul Legacy sweeping you off your feet and holding you to his chest upon first sight, happy trilling noises slipping from his fanged maw as he hugs you and purrs. You didn’t even know Abyssal monsters could purr. Or maybe they can’t, and Foul Legacy is the exception. Either way, Childe bashfully admits that Legacy shows what he truly feels, rather than hiding them under a cover of charming grins, and soon all your outings end with an armored moth-beast snuggling against you while rumbling in delight. Foul Legacy likes you, Childe says- he likes you more than anything. Then, as always, the Harbinger trails off and averts his eyes, and the flame in your chest glows warmly when you see the blush dusting his cheeks before you grow nauseous with nerves for the umpteenth time this month. It’s a vicious cycle of nausea-happiness-fear-delight whenever you’re with Childe, human or Foul Legacy, the excitement of loving balanced by the terror of a new, raw emotion, an emotion you had convinced yourself that you’d never feel. Your friends, so experienced and knowing, catch on immediately, crowding around you and asking who the lucky person is, what’s their name, what do they look like, are they kind, are they flirty, who, what, when, where- You feel like vomiting, and stumble over your words. They can never know he’s a Harbinger, for his safety and theirs, and you retreat to a quiet space once they leave, head fuzzy and blank. You love him, don’t you? Were you deluding yourself into thinking you were broken? But that’s worse, isn’t it, if you do truly love him. Because you can never love him enough, not as much as he deserves. How does one “show love”? Nothing makes sense to you. Slowly you realize that it can only end in heartbreak, and you curl in on yourself and scream in agony. It’s raining the next time you’re supposed to spend the day with Childe, so Foul Legacy arrives instead, shaking water from his glittering wings and kneeling to your height so you can dry his ginger hair with a towel. It’s soft and thick, and you decide to forgo the towel in favor of brushing Legacy’s hair with your fingers, his blissful purrs coaxing a bubbling laugh from your throat. Then doubts trickle in, filling your mind like thick, murky water, and the laugh fades into silence, your gentle pats slowing to a stop. Foul Legacy whines and nudges your hand, your fingers trembling as your lungs constrict and your blood turns to ice; a sculpture that could shatter at any moment. “Childe- Legacy- I-” You don’t get any further before tears start running down your face. Large claws move to gently clasp your hands, and with a simple touch you break and begin to sob. You want to love him. You desperately want to reciprocate his affection, to give him the same easy, constant adoration he gives you. But something is just wrong with you. Everyone you know can love so easily, but you, you! You’re stuck, not knowing if what you feel is truly love or if you’re just fooling yourself because you want to have what everyone else has. You don’t want to be lonely, no matter how much you say it’s alright. But you don’t know if you can love either, because you’re broken and always have been. And if this dancing fire inside your heart is indeed love, you don’t know if you can love him enough, as Childe deserves so much more than you. You don’t know anything. Finally your endless, rambling sentences trail into nothingness, and you’re left with tear tracks on your cheeks, gazing shamefully at the floor. For once, Foul Legacy is silent, and you burn with self-loathing, hating that someone as broken as you has to stand in front of him, who’s perfect in every way to you. Something swipes underneath your eyes, making you blink and glance up at Legacy, gently brushing your tears away with his thumbs. He tenderly croons to you, the softest sound you’ve ever heard him make, and gingerly picks you up to place you on his lap. Exhausted from crying, you lean against his chest, the thumping rhythm of his strong, loving heart filling your mind as he curls his talons over your hands once again, leaning closer to press his forehead against the top of your head. Not broken. It feels like you’re speaking to both Foul Legacy and Childe, even if Legacy can’t talk in the way that you do. Not broken. Rumbles begin filtering from the Abyssal monster’s chest as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close enough to kiss. Not broken. Because you never were broken, not now, not ever. Love is fickle, temperamental- it comes and goes at its own pace, hopping from whichever person it wants to another and never staying in one spot. Some love everyone, the entire world is their friend, and no one is an enemy. Some don’t love at all, fulfilled without needing romantic relationships. Some love themselves, and inspire others to be kinder to their body and mind, as mortals only have one life. And some are like you, unable to see themselves loving or being loved, only to find that their harshest critic is from within. Not broken. You’re not broken, because both loving and not loving are perfectly reasonable ways of existing. Childe will not ask you to love him- he wants the emotions to be yours, not something you feel obligated to do in order to be “normal”- he’ll never stop loving you either way, even if you don’t feel the same. You’re crying again, overwhelmed by everything and nothing, but the fiery feeling in your chest swirls and bursts into something steady and beautiful, like firelight on a dark evening, and you give Foul Legacy a watery, grateful smile. Ah, you said it at last- those meaningful words. I love you.

#genshin x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #gi ajax #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #genshin tartagalia #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #foul legacy x reader #sfw #genshin sfw #genshin hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #tartagalia x reader #alright listen i don't have an excuse for this #i was inspired and had my own experiences and BOOM suddenly this fic exists #is it long winded and rambly? yes #does it not make a lick of sense? also yes #but it still hit close to home for me #i kinda have this ongoing realization that i really can't see myself loving anyone irl #and if i do i don't know how i'd deal with it because i'm already exhausted #how am i going to fit a romantic relationship in life #and it made me feel weird about myself. like something is Wrong with me because all my friends can do it but i can't #and the weird thing is!! i love fictional characters just fine!! but when it comes to irl i just cannot see myself doing it!! what the heck!#so yeah this is a combo of that and my anxiety whenever change happens because i need things to be calm in order to stay calm

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kimi240302 · 1 year

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Power over me

A/N: As always, a little reminder that English is not my native language and I use an app so that my stories end up being in English.

Summary: Demetri and Y/N two strangers with a connection

Demetri Volturi x female!reader

Words: 2.6k

Main Post / Twilight Masterlist

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„ Everthing I hold dear resides in

those eyes

You´ve got that power over me“

- Dermot Kennedy

Demetri Volturi was a stranger not only to Bella and but also to her younger sister, Y/N. However, when she followed her sister to Italy, everything changed for the youngest Swan. She was to learn not only how unimportant the young girl was to her own sister and the Cullens, but also that fate had bound her to a vampire.

" Alice?" With a trembling voice, Y/N turned to the vampiress. She grabbed Y/N's hand and squeezed it gently. " You have to promise me something Y/N." Questioningly, the younger looked at Alice. " Keep your eyes on the ground and no matter what don't look up." Hesitantly, the young Swan nodded as she promptly kept her gaze on the ground.

Footsteps coming towards them made Y/N stand a bit more behind Alice. What the latter observed with a satisfied smile. " Aro wants to see you." The deep voice of the man who had spoken caused electric shocks to pass over Y/N's skin, but she did not look up from the ground. Alice pulled her a little more behind her and seemed almost to want to hide Y/N . " Bella and Y/N go…" Edward was interrupted. " He wants to see all of you."

Since discussing seemed to be without prospect after the appearance of a third person , the small group set off for their destination.

Y/N kept her gaze stubbornly fixed on the ground, even if it was increasingly difficult for her. The young girl felt the increasingly intense gaze that seemed to focus only on her as they all stood in a much too small elevator. Since Alice was busy with Bella and no longer paying attention to Y/N, she broke her promise and looked up. Cautiously, she turned around and looked directly into a pair of red eyes. Y/N's breathing quickened, as did her pulse, and even if she wanted to, she couldn't take her eyes off the pair of eyes.

The sound of the elevator door opening made her flinch, but Y/N could not move. The blond-haired vampire took a step towards the younger Swan, carefully placed his hands on her hips and gently but firmly pushed her body forward.

When Alice turned around and tried to grab Y/N's hand again, she could only watch helplessly as Demetri pulled the young girl between himself and Felix.

Once in the throne room, several events happened that Y/N understood but didn't care about. After all, her sister and Edward had once again managed to upset everyone around them, so nothing new.

The only thing that Y/N did not understand was that Demetri, as he had quietly introduced himself to her, did not even leave her side. He still stood in front of her and blocked every view of the Cullens, almost as if they were the danger of all here in the room.

Aro stood in front of his throne, hands in front of his face and smirked. "What are we going to do with you two little humans?" Aro looked closely at Y/N , who moved closer to Demetri without really noticing. Her fingers clawed into the back fabric of his top , while Y/N tried to hide completely behind him . Without being able to explain it , he gave her the feeling of safety and security , something she had not felt for a long time . Smiling, Demetri looked down at her over his shoulder.

"Bella will not betray us, she belongs to me. But Y/N has no reason to keep our secret. If one of them has to die , it's her!" Edward spoke with such seriousness that Y/N flinched. She let go of Demetri, almost as if she had burned herself and wanted to leave him, but he already turned around and pulled her into his arms. His lips hovered just in front of her ear. " No one here will harm you. Not as long as I'm here." The blond haired vampire detached himself from her a bit so she could see the sincerity in his eyes. They both looked at each other for a few seconds until Y/N relaxed into his grip, leaning even a little more against him.

" Our love Y/N has more value living in the eyes of the Volturi than you and your human ever will!" Marcus turned to Edward, bored. Confused, Aro spun to face his brother. " She is Demetri's mate." With a cry of excitement, Aro stood before the two. " Not every vampire finds that one person. You are lucky young friend!" Gently Demetri smiled and looked down at Y/N , who looked frightened at Aro.

As Y/N processed Marcus , as well as Aro's words , she realized something . Her life, that she had sincerely loved, would change immediately and even if she enjoyed Demetri's closeness, it also made her very afraid. Because at the end of the day he was a vampire and she was just a human. What she would not want to change so quickly.

Aro grabbed her hand and looked at her with pity. "Marcus is right, my dear, as is Demetri. No harm will come to you here, every single Volturi would see to that. You are part of our family now, young Swan."

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Y/N was right, her life changed drastically. Although she was able to return to Forks, it was no longer the same. The Cullens treated her like the plague and wouldn't let her near them. Y/N was kept out of everything and labeled as the enemy. Bella quickly followed along. She moved in with the Cullens so she didn't have to be around Y/N. Even though she had to come home every now and then because of Charlie.

Even though the young girl was supposed to be sad, she liked the new freedom. No vampire dramas and especially , no Jacob Edward drama in sight. Y/N could fully concentrate on her future. Which, however, became Demetri's doom. Since Y/N was no longer near the vampire and had time to think about everything , she came to the decision that she did not want to have a vampire mate. The young girl wanted a normal life, a husband who didn't suck off the neighbors when they parked wrong or were too noisy, and children. She wanted to grow old and gray, sit in the garden and watch her grandchildren play. She couldn't do that with Demetri, even though that fact seemed to bother her the most.

What Y/N did not expect, however, were dreams of a shared future with the vampire and a constant present feeling that a part of her was missing. Demetri took after several weeks everything that had to do with Y/N's mind. What drove the young girl slowly to madness. But what she did not know it would be him in whose arms she fell when she needed it the most.

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" It's an army of newborns Bella. They want you and will stop at nothing. I can't protect you and the Volturi won't intervene willingly unless we force them." Y/N was just walking past her sister's room and paused at the voices. Bella and Edward were here today , since Charlie had complained and ordered Bella to come home.

" And how are we going to force them?" " We take Y/N , she is the mate of Demteri . He won't be able to do otherwise than protect her and you heard Aro himself, no other of the Volturi would ever let anything happen to her." Y/N held her breath and waited for her sister's answer. " And how are we going to do that?" The younger girl's heart broke when Bella seemed genuinely interested in her boyfriend's proposal. " We'll use her as leverage. Y/N will be present on the day of the battle and so they can't help but help us."

Y/N was fascinated by how far Bella would go to betray her own blood to save herself and the Cullens' butts. Without thinking twice, Y/N went into her room, locked it and disappeared through the window. She couldn't take the main entrance because her father was downstairs and Edward as well as Bella would notice that Y/N was trying to leave.

Tears ran down the young girl's face as she ran through the forest without a real destination. She just wanted to get away, no matter where. Y/N lost her sense of time, yet she felt her lungs begin to burn, her body tremble, and her skin seemed to tear at her uncovered feet.

Just when she thought she would just collapse in the middle of the forest and stay lying there, she slammed into something, or rather someone. "What in the world?" Y/N looked up and didn't know exactly whether to laugh or cry. She had run into Felix Volturi who was looking down at her in confusion as she had fallen on the forest floor because of him. Y/N looked behind him and noticed three more pairs of red eyes trying to understand what was happening. When her eyes fell on Demetri , Y/N straightened up and literally ran into the blond haired man's arms. " What happened to you?" Demetri protectively put his arms around her upper body and noticed how much she was shaking. Y/N couldn't get a word out, she just started crying and clinging to him.

Demetri looked to Felix for help, but Felix just shrugged his shoulders. To everyone's surprise, it was Jane who spoke. "We'll find a place to stay first, so we can find out where the smell of blood on your mate is coming from." Alec took a step towards Demetri , unfastened his jacket and put it over Y/N shoulders. " We don't want our human to freeze to death!" Thankfully, the blond-haired vampire looked at both of them and lifted Y/N into his arms.

" What exactly happened Y/N?" Jane looked at her questioningly while Demetri tended to the skin on her feet and legs. " I am not quite sure. Since it came out that I am Demetri's mate the Cullens and Bella have left me out of everything and ignored me. However , earlier I overheard a conversation…" Y/N hissed out as Demetri pulled a thorn out of her leg. " Sorry," Demteri muttered, looking apologetically at Y/N. She nodded and turned back to Jane and Alec, Felix was going to get her something to eat and something new to wear. "They said they were going to put me in front of a newborn army so you guys would intervene to protect me." Alec raised an eyebrow. " And what did your sister say about that?" " She just asked how they were going to do it." Y/N looked down at her lap. Demetri stopped what he was doing and looked up at Y/N startled. " She must have said something against it, right?" Y/N shook her head sadly. " She hates me and doesn't see me as a sister anymore." Felix who had just come into the room and heard what Y/N had said laughed happily and put the food , as well as the new clothes down in front of Y/N. " Remember Aro's words Y/N , we are your family now. You don't need Bella and the Cullens anymore." With tears in her eyes , she smiled at the tall vampire. " How about you take Y/N to Volterra , while we take care of the rest here in Forks." Jane turned to Demetri. He nodded his thanks to her and helped Y/N sit up. " Then I guess we'll see you again in Volterra , little human." Felix waved a hand through her hair and disappeared.

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"I must confess that you confuse me Y/N." Demetri sat on the edge of Y/N's bed and looked closely at his mate. They had arrived in Volterra a few hours ago and after everyone had been happy to welcome a new family member, Y/N had been given one of the most beautiful rooms she had ever seen. It was in the hallway from the rest of the High Guards because everyone was worried that something would happen to her.

Confused, Y/N looked at Demetri and clutched the towel even tighter to her body. She had just stepped out of the shower. Her hair was damp and stuck to her skin , while scattered drops of water still flowed down her body. " Why am I confusing you?" Her voice was a whisper. Unsure , she stopped at the now closed bathroom door . Demetri stood up and moved to stand directly in front of her. " You've ignored me for the past few months, wanted nothing to do with me, and yet I seem to be the only one you feel safe with." The blond-haired man encircled a wet strand with his fingers and tugged on it lightly. " Do you know what kind of self-control I had to muster not to just kidnap you and make you mine?" Demetri looked her straight in the eye. Y/N's breath and heart stopped. His eyes seemed to have almost turned black. " Demetri…" Y/N wanted to say something , but her opposite bent down to her neck. His lips settled over her pulse point. Staying a few inches above her skin , he paused and whispered , " I spent every free second imagining what it would be like to have you by my side." His lips now rested completely on her skin. Surprised, a moan escaped Y/N. Immediately she felt the vampire's grin against her skin. His hands settled over the towel on her waist and began to slowly run them up and down. " You don't know what a craving I have to feel your skin under my hands. Your lips on mine." Y/N leaned towards her mate slightly. But Demetri pushed her back against the door behind Y/N. Confused, she looked at him. Her grip on her towel tightened as she did so.

"You have no idea what torture it was not to be near you Y/N. You don't even have a clue what you're doing to me just with your presence at this moment." He looked deep into her eyes and Y/N realized Demetri wanted to answer. " I was scared. I didn't know about the whole vampire existence until Edward was gone and Bella needed someone to talk to. Not a few months later, I'm told my fate is tied to a vampire. I had plans, plans that didn't include an immortal life." Demetri let go of Y/N and stepped away from her. He nodded, "I understand. Do you want to go back …" Immediately Y/N shook her head and took the step Demetri had taken back towards him. " Let me finish talking Demetri!" Surprised, he looked at her and nodded again. "You said that I would have no idea how much it tortured you not to have been near me? I know it, because I felt it right away, even if I didn't want it to be true." Demetri looked down at his mate searchingly. As he was about to open his mouth to say something, Y/N interrupted him.

Y/N let go of her towel, which nevertheless remained around her body since it was clamped between her and Demetri, put her hands left and right on his cheeks and pulled him down to kiss him.

Surprised by her actions, Demetri froze for a few seconds. But that changed again quickly. He wrapped his arms around her waist, loosened the towel and pulled her even closer. Y/N's arms moved from his face around his neck. Demetri lifted her a little so that she put her legs around his waist. He walked her to her bed and laid her on it.

When the two of them broke away , as Y/N needed air , Demetri put his forehead against hers , he had laid himself over her and supported his weight with his forearms on either side of Y/N's face . " If we don't stop now , there will be no going back . You will stay here, by my side. You will be completely mine. No way out , no escape!" They both looked into each other's eyes , as Y/N leaned towards him , and their lips reunited . " I am already yours Demetri."

#demetri x reader #demetri volturi #demetri volturi x reader #demetri volturi imagine #felix volturi #jane volturi #aro volturi #marcus volturi #caius volturi #twilight #twilight x reader #twilight fanfiction #twilight imagine #volturi x reader #volturi imagine #volturi coven #the volturi #volturi guard #volturi kings

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wordsintimeandspace · 1 year

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Aro TMA Fic Rec List

Happy Aro Week! Since people seemed to enjoy my ace TMA fic rec list, I’m back for another round with aro recs! All of these are rated G or T. Labeling the pairings in these fics was sometimes a bit difficult, so just a note that I use the slash also for queerplatonic relationships. And, as usual, feel free to add your own recs to this post!

💚🤍🖤

Love, Or Whatever You Call It by @morning-softness (Jon/Martin, rated T, 20k words. First part of a series!)

don’t say you love me by @bluejayblueskies (Jon/Georgie, rated T, 3800 words)

something about us by @dathen (Jon&Gerry, Jon/Gerry/Martin, rated T, 2300 words)

Three Little Words by @thekisforkeats (Sasha/Tim, Sasha&Jon, rated T, 4200 words)

More than Enough by @voiceless-terror (Jon/Martin/Sasha/Tim, rated T, 3200 words)

Deep Magic by @dathen (Jon/Martin, rated T, 800 words)

in the reciprocal by @bluejayblueskies (Jon/Martin, rated T, 8300 words)

There's a hole in my soul (I can't fill it) by who_needs_words (Jon/Gerry, rated T, 2000 words)

ludus by @bluejayblueskies (Jon/Gerry, rated T, 2000 words)

i love him, i love him not by hisimisms (Jon/Tim, Tim&Sasha, rated G, 1400 words)

something in common by @annabelle--cane (Jon&Sasha, rated G, 1400 words)

and now all fear gives way by @backofthebookshelf (Jon/Martin, rated T, 2500 words)

Ordinary Love by @dathen (Jon&Daisy, rated T, 1400 words)

Pour out the gasoline by @qpenguin98 (Jon/Martin, rated T, 2800 words)

philia by @bluejayblueskies (Sasha&Tim, rated T, 2500 words)

we'll be the proud remainers by spacepirate (Jon/Martin, rated G, 1000 words)

#the magnus archives #tma fic #fic rec #fic rec list #aromantic #aro week

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 9 months

Note

What would happen if the Cullens were trapped in the town of Silent Hill?

If you're unaware, Silent Hill is a tourist town with a dark secret. It has the power to "call" those with darkness in their hearts or unresolved trauma and trap them in a nightmarish Other World. This Other World is a reflection of a person's mind plastered over the town, populated with monsters derived from a person's fears, vices and personal demons.

The only way to escape the Other World is to go on a journey the town creates for you to confront and come to terms with your past.

I'm just thinking, with all the baggage the Cullens have, Silent Hill would have a field day with them. Especially Bella and Edward.

So, who do you think would escape from Silent Hill? My money's on Carlisle and Rosalie, personally. Renesmee, Esme, Jasper and Alice I'm not so sure about. It could go either way. Bella and Edward though? Yeah, probably not.

Emmett, by far being the most grounded and, for lack of a better term, sanest Cullen probably wouldn't be drawn into the Other World. He's just stuck in a tourist town with a panicking Jacob wondering where the hell everyone is.

Interesting question, I haven't played the games nor seen the movie adaptations but I know there's a Pyramid Head.

But I can work with this premise. Alright, let's bullet point the Cullens. Who escapes from Silent Hill?

Alice

Alice has no memories of Mary Alice Brandon's traumatic past. It doesn't even seem to be repressed so much as a product of electroshock therapy in the 1920's. Alice also has very little angst about the fact that she's missing her memories and most of her problems are due to Edward's nonsense and are more or less easily solved if she works around him and the Volturi.

What I'm getting at is that Alice is never called.

She's also stuck with Emmett in this dumb tourist town wondering why they decided to vacation in Virginia.

Bella

Bella has no idea what the fuck is happening. The thing about Bella is she takes things at such face, literal, value that she would just think this is a town of monsters that has absolutely nothing to do with her. Even when it becomes increasingly obvious this is a metaphor for the choices she made, her own insecurities, and her own fears.

Bella tries to get out and gets increasingly frustrated when no solution presents itself.

She doesn't escape because she doesn't want to confront herself.

Carlisle

Ooh baby, yep, Carlisle's going. Canonically he seems to have unresolved issues with his late father, his witch burning past, the fact that he gave into loneliness and turned the others into vampires (especially when he learns that not all desired to become one and may rather have died) not to mention the whole Twilight saga which destroys his friendship with Aro and gives him increasing existential dread.

I imagine Carlisle has a horrible time in a town full of everything on fire.

However, as you note, I imagine he gets out. Carlisle in canon (for all we don't see much of him) does seem to have done a good job coming to terms with his own history and who he is. He confronts difficult things such as whether or not he should have turned the others and does vocally wonder about them to Bella. He notes that he went through great introspection over whether being a vampire made him evil and Edward notes he has great distress over what he did as a human to people who turned out to be innocent after all.

Carlisle would realize what this place is and that he has to go on this journey to confront the worst part of himself.

(True to hilarious Twilight fashion, I imagine he'd get out of this personal journey hellscape and find himself with his oblivious family who have no idea anything happened to him at all.)

Edward

Oh yes, Edward was made for this place. The thing is I think Edward would catch on very fast to what this is, that this is a place of his own personal demons (ah, hello Pyramid Head) but he wouldn't want to admit it or confront it. He would rail against it, he knows what he is and he knows he wants to do anything but confront or accept it. He saw the demon already when he nearly ate Bella in Biology, he has no desire to do so again.

I imagine as he continues to resist more terrible things happen (I am sure a copy of Bella gets eaten somewhere in here) and Edward chooses to embrace madness or the illusion rather than get through and let the monster consume him (as that's what he'd fear the answer is).

Edward doesn't get out.

Emmett

Yup, never goes.

He has no idea what's happening and where everyone went. He figures they'll show up eventually (hoping the Volturi didn't get them or something.)

Esme

Esme... you know, I think she might. Esme would find herself in a very lonely and unpleasant place, it'd take her a while, but I imagine she'd eventually realize this all has to do with her and that she never truly confronted the past or herself. She gave up on life and then immediately was handed everything she'd ever wanted and so had never had to face that.

Esme leaves and has to become a person again.

Jasper

"Ah, hello darkness, my old friend" Jasper immediately recognizes what this is and what's happening to him. Doesn't matter that it's a surreal nightmarefest, all of it's just somehow so very familiar.

I give Jasper a 50/50 chance. The thing is, Alice threw him a lifeline before and he's still clinging to it with all his might. He was never really saved from who and what he was, he just hopes desperately that Alice and the Cullens will keep him afloat.

This journey would have to show him that that isn't enough and he would have to realize as much and realize that Alice can't save him if he doesn't do his own part as well.

(Which of course, would be terrifying to him, because if Alice can't save him then Jasper sure as hell can't save himself).

Renesmee

What you get is essentially a surreal version of Bleach on the Brain by @therealvinelle.

Renesmee at first is very confused and terrified by all of this. She's separated from her family, this place is filled with strange monsters reminiscent of the Volturi, but slowly Renesmee realizes that these are her fears and insecurities, that she doesn't love Jacob and is terrified of him, and her family are strangers to her and she's not sure any of them love her.

I like to believe Renesmee would get out but it would mean letting go of the illusion of her family, the belief that she must matter to them, and learning to confront the possibility that none of them might care at all.

Rosalie

Yup, she's going there, and like Jasper she immediately realizes what this is for all she's horrified by it. I imagine Rosalie's in a state of panicked terror as she was supposed to be done with this: she'd gotten her revenge, murdered all of them, had put it out of her mind as fast as she could.

Rosalie would really struggle but I imagine eventually pull through. She'd have to recognize that Emmett can't fix everything, that there were some things she never let go, that she's still searching for affection and love she's not sure she'll ever receive (from Edward as well as Alice).

However, Rosalie's a very strong person emotionally who did face something like this once before and pulled through. She wants to get better, to be a better person, so I think she'd make it through.

TL;DR

Edward and Bella are the only one's I'd say definite no towards.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #the cullens #bella swan #alice cullen #edward cullen #carlisle cullen #emmett cullen #esme cullen #rosalie hale #jasper whitlock #renesmee cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

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