i love straight people because i’ll be doubting my sexuality then talk to straight people for 2 seconds and get struck by a bolt of queerness so strong it powers me for the rest of the semester. god bless
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i am so tired of people using the SAM (split attraction model) as a scapegoat for like... idk. internalized homophobia/biphobia/etc. or an “unhealthy view of sexuality” maybe i’m the one out of the loop but... just don’t fucking use it then? the SAM was created by ace & aro ppl to describe their experiences, it wasn’t intended as a model for EVERYONE to use. if you don’t want to view your sexuality that way, that’s totally okay! i don’t either! so just... don’t fucking use it then.
i have no idea where this idea that the SAM was created or intended to be used by everyone came from, probably some discourse that i wasn’t here to witness, but... that’s not why it was created, that wasn’t its intended purpose, and if people DO use the SAM b/c of internalized homophobia/biphobia/etc., A) that’s not the fault of the SAM, that’s an individual who has shit to work through which is OKAY because we ALL have shit to work thru regarding our sexuality and identity, and B) trying to trash the SAM just because some people are Supposedly using it that way despite how integral it is to how other people navigate and explain their experiences just feels like diet exclusionist rhetoric.
i used to use the SAM, but i don’t anymore, because:
A) my aroness is very important to me and i prioritize making that known (mainly as a way of self-defense so i dont get exclusionists in my circle of trusted friends and mutuals) over my sexuality.
B) by identifying as an aromantic gay or an aromantic bisexual person i was worried people would prioritize my sexuality over my aromanticism because it’s a “valid” lgbtqia+ identity
C) my aromanticism is closely connected to how i navigate my sexuality and i didn’t want to separate the two.
but just because the SAM did not work for me, that doesn’t mean i want NOBODY to use the SAM! if anything, using the SAM was an important step in my self-discovery to figure myself out. and i doubt my experience is unique. the SAM is a tool, it’s not some required form we’re making you fill out. it’s a tool that’s at your disposal if you’d like to use it, but you do not have to.
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i was talking about QPRs the other day and my (allo) friend was like “oh QPRs are so good 🥺” and it was uncomfortable, but i didn’t really get Why
and then i realised it’s just like. idk imagine if i said that about romantic relationships you know? some (well-intentioned) people think that QPRs are somehow more pure or less complicated or whatever than other relationships. they can be abusive or toxic just like anything can but people don’t seem to get that
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I want to go on a date but I don't want to Date? and there's no way to ask for that is there
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I HAVE MADE 3 PPL QUESTION THEIR IDENTITIES TODAY WITH THE AROPOSTING
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yes i say and do conventionally ‘’romantic’’ things for me and for my friends. what about it?
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wow bro ur alloromantic? bro.. bro that's kinda cringe....
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Romance is a pigeon and I am a wall coated with cement and plate glass
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Riddle me this:
Two posts are published at the same time from the same blog, a few day apart. They are exactly the same except one is ace-focussed and one is aro-focused. One has nine times more notes, which one is it any why?
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hi!!! im lune or knight. im a 16 almost 17 year old enby (possibly genderfluid) kiddo! i am polysexual (nblm / nblnb) and nebularomantic! i am actuallydissocative, actuallypsychotic and actuallyschizo (? is that what they say???) And due to this i have a lot of identity issues, including me telling the difference between kinds of love
thanks / inspired by @cisphobicagenda and @quiet-times i have been able to make this account! they're both amazing accounts and i have heavy respect for the both of them :D i have been questioning using it for a while but i finally have realized it's something i shouldn't be embarssed of!
shout outs r cool but plz don't feel obligated! This account is dedicated to sole positivity (: i will delete any and all anon hate i will get and i will also do stim/mood boards, edits and any other stuff that comes up along the road!!!! please know you're not alone in this world and you're always loved in one way or another ❤️
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aroposting time but I’m just so... bro... how come romo ppl writing romo can be so.... bad at it.... like I *know* why but also... can you think for two seconds about the rx youre writing can you spend any amt of effort on plotting the trajectory of your rx
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maybe you found love in a hopeless place. i was chillin
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i think my aroness is the queerest thing about me and when i say that i don’t mean all aros are more queer than every other identity. i don’t mean that there is a “most queer” identity in the communtiy. i just literally think that what makes me queer is me being aro. yes im trans. yes im bi. but those don’t have the same impact on who i am as a person than being aro does. accepting that im aro has been like taking a sledgehammer to my life and my relationships and i mean that in a good way. so if i get defensive about it, i’m sorry, but it’s so important to me. it’s so so important to me.
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ugh i get that it’s like, funny or whatever, but one of my least favourite tropes is when someone is explaining how they feel about somebody and their friends say “oh you’re in love. don’t even try to deny it we know best you’re definitely in love” and the friends, obviously, end up being right.
like. okay. the amount of shitty things in here...
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i saw damien/@the-moon-pal aroposting about bing and illinois and lost my mind. they’re best friends now and they flirt with each other all the time but illinois is significantly better at it.
the flirting is emojis bc i was trying to think of how flirty conversations go and i failed go figure
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back on my aroposting and living for it 💚
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im gonna be honest. the way yall immediately link domesticity to romance/kids is the nuclear family propaganda jumping the fuck out.
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man. i try not to get too upset when i see a blog that i liked is either neutral on ace/aro inclusionism vs. exclusionism debate or they’re on the exclusionist side because i get it’s not a big deal to a lot of people, and i know outside of twitter and tumblr this conversation is (so i’ve heard) not very common in lgbtqia+ spaces and “oh well joel haven’t you said that you don’t even wanna be in the community anyway?” yeah, i don’t! but that rhetoric just kinda... really damaged me as an aro person, and i know other acespec and arospec people have had similar experiences, and a lot of arospec and acespec ppl DO want to be included in the community, + i think they have every right to be.
idk. makes me sad and angry, and i always feel a little foolish when i talk about it. it’s just... one of those things, i guess
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