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#arospec
dumbassdemisexual · a day ago
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Platonic partners are real partners
Platonic partners are real partners
Platonic partners are real partners
✨Platonic partners are real partners✨
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dreamy-aro · 21 hours ago
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We sure live in a heartless world, seeing how my small act of kindness was misconstrued as interest. - Hong Dusik (Hometown Cha Cha Cha)
I've recently watched this k-drama and even though the genre is romance and it was just for a brief moment, I appreciated hearing the character say these words. It's really stuck with me because it's true; in our world, almost every positive feeling or gesture is immediately seen as romantic. If you are kind to someone, you're flirting. If you think about someone often, you have a crush on that person. If you cuddle with someone, you want a romantic relationship with them. If you're smiling at someone's messages, people ask you if that's your boyfriend/girlfriend.
You can't escape. It's hardly possible to interact with people at all without others or even those people themselves assuming these things. And the saddest thing about it is not even that many don't understand that not everything is intended to be romantic. It's the fact that according to that logic, kindness and happiness in this world would seem almost unattainable, not only if there was no romance in it, but love in general. Love is not the only real reason to be genuinely kind and considerate of someone.
This is why they might find it wrong or unusual when some people want to have sex but don't want to commit romantically, when some people don't have feelings for someone but want to be in a romantic relationship with them or when people make friends even though they don't love them. According to them, you are selfish, shallow, inconsiderate, heartless and only taking advantage of these people because you don't love them romantically or platonically. It doesn't even cross their minds that you can still be kind and treat people with care and respect without any romantic/platonic feelings that would need to be returned. Kindness doesn't exist only for people who love to earn love back. Not loving does not automatically make someone a bad person and I don't understand how people even manage to come to that conclusion.
Being kind to someone is something that shouldn't even be constantly questioned, it's entirely possible to be kind to someone just because you want to be kind or simply because you care for someone's well-being. It shouldn't become something reserved only for showing love and interest.
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betchiwilleatyou · 2 days ago
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being greyromantic is so boring lol bc like i know i Can be romantically attracted to people but i just Never Am and there is no-one to occupy my mind but fictional characters
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lazykiy · 15 hours ago
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as an aroace (sex and romance neutral) I still have moments where my body start to go physically hot or act all nervous around someone (that for me) is aesthetically attractive. 
Like it not that I want to date you or have sex with you, it that just “how can a god/goddess be talking to a messy bastard like me.” 
and when I look at them, just wanna stare at them like looking at an art or a statue. just “how come someone be this attractive!”
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greyromantic culture is not really understanding romance but still doing a little mental clap whenever your friends say they love their s/o because you're happy that they're happy even if you don't fully understand what they're feeling
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questioning aspec culture is wondering if just don't get crushes very often or if you are actually arospec (bonus; aspec culture is having to convince yourself you like someone because of fomo)
<3
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many-gay-magpies · 22 hours ago
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attraction is fun because i do not sincerely want to date anyone but i also look at all of my friends like i am slightly in love with them
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arosuggestions · 4 months ago
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We’re not “just friends,” we’re friends. 
Stop defining friendship as less than romance. Stop defining romance as better than friendship. 
Friendship is enough, friendship is beautiful and fulfilling and good. Friendship isn’t less than. No type of relationship is better than another. 
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twotrenchcoatsinaguy · a month ago
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ppl will say "demisexual and demiromantic apply to literally everyone why is it a label" and then play smash or pass, see people on the street and comment to their friends how attractive they are, meet someone at a bar and ask them on a date, start talking to someone in the hopes that it will end up sexual/romantic one day
like bro. an actual lack of attraction until a serious connection has formed is not the same thing as wanting to get to know someone before you have sex or date them.
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justlgbtthings · a month ago
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gay shit ive done that i thought was 100% straight before i realized: a biography
tried to explain to my straight friends that girls are just objectively more attractive than guys. like objectively.
and being convinced that they were lying to me when they disagreed and said they were attracted to men
didn’t understand why breakups were such a big deal. “if he doesn’t give you enough attention just leave him.” “well at least now you have more time for yourself!” “well you still have me :)”
avoided watching lingerie or swimsuit commercials and had my eyes glued to the floor in locker rooms because obviously i’m not gay. like look at how not gay i am
“yeah sometimes i want people to look at me and wonder wtf i am”
got happy chemicals when people thought i was with my female friend
thought that bi girls and lesbians were the coolest fuckin people ever
female characters who didn’t want a relationship with a man and had their own independent storylines were my favorites
stopped watching shows if the characters randomly got paired up in het relationships
got super excited “for no reason” whenever i read a book with gay rep
“i want to look goth and lethal and have a sword but i also want to be a fairy and look like the embodiment of a claire’s store”
“i wish i was a boy because girls are so pretty and i don’t want to have to be with a boy”
never wanted to get married or have kids
felt super uncomfortable whenever a man would show any interest in me
“obviously ⏳ is more attractive than🚪”
but all sizes and shapes of girls are cute
sweaters, flannels, boots and beanies are not seasonal, they are year-long clothing items for all weather. even if it’s 108 degrees and humid
handpicked boys to have a crush on
“these are the men i’m attracted to” (insert queer-coded fictional character with feminine characteristics)
“who do you have a crush on?” “no one” “aw are you embarrassed to tell us?” 😐
any man who has ever been nice to me i must have a crush on now. that’s the rules.
i think i like him but i have to convince myself really hard that i do and the second he reciprocates fondness i no longer like him. i’m probably just picky
“he’s sweet, he’s funny, his face is symmetrical, and he’s smart but not in a show-off way… why don’t i like him?”
“look at all these other girls being boy-crazy. SOO GLAD i’m not like that :P”
other gays/queer people feel free to add on (although this is primarily for sapphics (and aspecs))
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dreamy-aro · 16 hours ago
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With each passing day, I'm becoming more and more content and grateful to have found out about my aromanticism. It's been almost a year and I have never in my life taken that much time to discover something so important about myself and be so confident about it... it's such a breath of fresh air and one of the best things that potentially wouldn't have happened to me if it weren't for encountering the world of other aspecs. Since then, it's become my comfort place. The only place where I am accepted and understood for who I truly am. The place where I know no one is waiting for me to become something I'm not, where my experience is fully respected and not just brushed off as usual. Where my feelings, choices and lifestyle simply can't be wrong and are presented in such a great and positive light.
It's only thanks to aspecs that I opened my eyes and finally saw myself for who I really am instead of stupidly expecting to eventually fit in the mould that was never made for me in the first place. Everyone's words here always have such a huge impact on me and they are never even exactly intended to be directed towards me. Someone could simply just vent or say something completely random and I already feel understood just by reading something like that. It's really fascinating how much more connected we feel to each other than to people around us when we're literally a bunch of strangers on the internet, that will always blow my mind. But anyway I wholeheartedly appreciate every stranger reading this, you're valid and I am always thankful for each of you <3
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justanaroacedisgrace · 8 months ago
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I know a lot of people (including myself) have said this already, but it's okay if you stop identifying as something. Even if, in retrospect, you're not sure that label ever fit you. It doesn't mean you should never have identified that way or that you hurt the [x] community. Identities are confusing! I know I say that a lot but it's true! Identities are complicated and confusing and it's okay if you thought you were one thing and later found out you weren't!
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papier-ciseaux · 9 months ago
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This week is Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week ! Or aro week for short
If you didn’t know, I’m aroace ✨
If you have any questions, I’ll gladly answer them !
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aromantic-aurea · 20 hours ago
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What’s going on in the aromantic community this month?
[Image description: A photo of a wrinkled aromantic flag. Overlaid on the image are the words "AUREA- What's Going On: December 2021"]
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asexualfitzroy · 11 months ago
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The aromantic agenda is a good one.
Go and think about what kinds of relationships you want. Don't think about labels like romantic or platonic or sexual, think purely about what relationships would make you happiest.
When I realized I was aromantic, I was asked things like "Would you still date? Would you have a QPR? Will you ever kiss?"
But the aromantic community didn't ask that. Instead, they focused on "What do you want in a world where anything is possible?"
And I realized I want to be alone, surrounded by friends and family I love who are close enough, I can bring them fresh baked scones when I overbake.
They asked me "What do you want?" and the question was so broad, I could weigh labels in my hand like queerplatonic partner and nonpartnering and significant other. I could look at these and shrug and say, "What I want is to not worry about questions I don't care about." I could shelve these indefinitely. Maybe even forever. And just enjoy being myself.
The aromantic community celebrates exploration. Tells people asking if they are aromantic, "This is a personal decision. Your personal decision. If this label helps you, take it. If this community helps you, stay as long as you need. You don't have to be labelled anything, aromantic or otherwise, unless it would bring you comfort. You don't have to be anything you aren't."
It's a good community with good philosophies born from a unique experience, not rooted in missing out, but in being forced to consider what you want when you don't want what's expected.
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arospecvibes · 3 months ago
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y’all do understand that dismantling amatonormativity and arophobia isn’t just... “haha you’re valid”, right
it’s young aromantics not being told by their peers that they’re weird because they don’t have a crush, and them not intentionally avoiding making friends in fear of being excluded from conversations
it’s aromantics being able to see themselves in mainstream media in many diverse ways, and alloromantics respecting canon aromantic identities instead of crying over “shipping”, and aromanticism finally being included in queer discussions, sex ed, etc.
it’s romance repulsed kids and teens not (sometimes traumatically) forcing themselves to like something they never want because they’ve been taught, intentionally or not, that if they don’t have romance, they will live a miserable life
it’s aromantics being able to come out and people actually understanding what it means and not asking invasive questions they wouldn’t ask an allocishet person or even other queers
it’s non-partnering aromantics not having severe anxiety about their future financial states because they fear that they will not be able to pay their bills without a married partner’s money to help out
it’s allosexual aromantics being able to come out and not fear sexual harassment, rape, assault, etc. because others take their orientation as “asking for it” or as automatic consent to sexual acts
it’s religious aromantics not feeling like they’ve failed their religion by not wanting a traditional idea of marriage, sex, romance, etc. as their religion may present it, and them not being rejected by their family and peers as a result
it’s aromantics, especially women, being able to reject romantic advances or break up with someone without fear of being seen as an inherently bad person/villain or being harassed/assaulted/insulted because people can’t take no for an answer
it’s loveless aromantics not being shunned and left out of conversations regarding love, and aplatonic aromantics not being antagonized for not feeling affection for friends, and aromantics not always feeling like they have to prove themselves to alloromantics somehow
it’s lovequeer and queerplatonic/alterous aromantics not being told that their love or relationships are queerbaiting, giving off mixed signals, or that it’s never strong enough or can never be life-changing the way romance can
it’s so much more than just “aromantics are valid uwu”, the same way that dismantling other anti-queerness is so much more than “gays and trans are valid uwu”.
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guiltyidealist · 6 months ago
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Transhets, acehets, and arohets are lovely and valuable members of the queer community
Edit: don’t tag my fucking post as “q-slur”. I am not a fucking slur! If you have to tag it do “q-word” or something that doesn’t imply that I should be censored
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