omg apparently I was getting dirty looks last weekend? I was walking around a small town in Ontario eating a rum & raisin icecream, and when my friend told afterward I was like “wait why 😭😭😭”, but then she reminded me that I’m 6’2 with a Mohawk and that I’d said in too loud a voice “I just think it’s really progressive how he fucked that old man”, so now I’m like yeah that’s reasonable, I apologize.
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The LAYERS needed in a modern/human Dreamling au. Some level of Endless family dysfunction, obviously. Hob's family can be be dead or not, it's all good. Are they old enough to have individually gained the awareness they are off-puttingly intense and should hide it a bit at first, or still in that "no, why would I need to Elsa this" stage?
Option A is both of them trying to play it cool, like "don't scare him off" except they so badly want to go from zero to sixty.
(Death and Desire have ruthlessly drilled Dream with flashcards about how to react appropriately in situations.
Desire: it's your one-month anniversary, what do you do?
Dream: [hesitantly] NOT propose?
Desire and Death, conferring, because that's technically correct but the delivery was suspect.
Death, encouragingly: Good start. And?
Dream: a nice dinner and maybe a walk?
Desire: well done!
Death: and for a three-month anniversary?
Dream: give them a key to my flat.
Desire: [airhorn] NO. RED CARD.)
Option B makes them the classic anecdotal "my grandparents got engaged within seven days of meeting each other and still are happy together".
(Death, rubbing her temples: so you met this guy--
Dream: Hob
Death: -- Hob, and within 1 day you gave notice to the Registrar's Office and figured out the best day to get married. And Hob agreed to this?
Dream: NO.
Death: oh thank go-
Dream: Hob SUGGESTED this.
Death: . . .
Dream: are you going to be a witness or not?
Death, 29 days later in the Registrar's Office, to Hob's witness: Is he sane?
Johanna Constantine, drinking heavily from a large flask: unfortunately yes, by all legal definitions.
Death: fuck
Johanna: [passing the flask over] if your brother's even a tenth as intense as Hob, they'll be fine. Probably.
Death, brightening: Is Hob that bad?
Johanna: You know how sometimes you meet somebody and think "oof, they're a bit much, best give them a wide berth"?
Death: yeah.
Johanna: Hob's like a camouflaged hole in the ground of muchness. Except he's done the hole up all nice and he knows that sometimes you just want to be left alone in the hole to sulk and rattle the spikes for a bit, and occasionally get a F&M hamper tossed in.
Death: [hmmmmmmm'ing approvingly]
Johanna, morose: the bastard.
In the background, Hob and Dream are pressing their foreheads together and basking in each other's presence)
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Preorder will go live on my kofi at 1:00 PM EST on April 6th!
Shipping is 6 USD for United States, 20 USD for Worldwide. Shipping is possible to any country covered by USPS. If your country has any specific shipping stipulations that you know of, when it comes time for the preorder you'll have my email to contact me about any of those extra concerns!
There will be 100 made; manufacturing is currently underway for the lil guys. I'll be sure to update my kofi with further info about the process as it goes along!
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begging new users to put something on their blog to indicate they are a real human person
There seems to be another wave of bots because my follower count is doing some funky things, but I can't actually tell because a lot of apparently new followers have been totally blank aside from following the same circle of blogs
And if your blog looks like that you look like a bot! I and many other older users report+block those!
So change your blog title, add an avatar/icon/pfp/whatever--anything to indicate you have a personality :'D
I want people to enjoy my work, but I want to make sure it's people, y'know?
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