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#arrghh someone do it for me
lotusmi · 1 year
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the mike wazowski VOID STATE challenge
yes the challenge is called mike wazowski, dont judge mike (and dont judge me too lmao
complain and blame method 😫😫😪
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I know I know, I said we are in "void detox 🍵era" in this blog... But I got an idea of a new challenge that you all may like so I am breaking the rules here 😎
mike hottie wazowski is this gentleman and i named the challenge after him since its a hot challenge just like him get it?
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💬"Ok, ok Lotus,... What is this stupid challenge about?"
Oh yea, the challenge... yes yes.
So! The challenge is to complain and blame! I dare you to complain about your void journey! Can you complain all day and enter the complainer state? I bet you do! 🤭
As we know, our states are reflected. What we do within ourselves is manifested in our world.
Bloggers say "enter the state of the person that always enter the void☝️👩‍🏫"
But some of you don't feel like you can do it, right? Yes, I know. You try and then give up. "How you I believe, how would i do thhaaat?? 😪😭😭" then you complain again and again.
Are you the "I TRIEEED EVWRYTHING I NEED TO EMTERR HEESLP MEE 😭😭😭" person? YOUR PROBLEMS END HERE muahahha!! 😼
You are now my actor/actress 😼 your paper is to be someone who always enter the void so easily that it ANNOYS YOU🙄🙄. Like?? You cannot even sleep without entering ughhh 😑
You will take this as a fun challenge! Can you have fun doing this? I know you can! Just take it easy and be the most annoyed and worried person in earth!
There are a lot of people here who is worried and obsessed about the void. You are already in this state and can't see motivation to leave it? Just change the focus of it! Now you are obsessed to know WHY you ALWAYS WAKE UP/TAP IN THE VOID.
HEHHEHEH WHAT A PLOT TWIST, NO? 😌😏
Here is how you will do: you will act as if you were entering in the void literally always and you are sooo annoyedd 😒😒😒😒 I'll give you an exemple of how your self talk should be like:
"Awww I just woke up 🛌 and I entered in void agaaain arrghh 😒😒😒 bro?? Whhyy I keep entering in this mf everytime I sleep? 🙄🙄 like how can I stop myself of ENTERING ALWAAAYSS?? I TRIED EVERYTHING AND I KEEP ENTERING in the VOID😭😭😭😪 How can i even live this day knowing if I fall asleep or when night comes I will be there 🙄 AGAIN??? 😫 omg i amm sooo mad that I enter in void like instantly I cannot even close my eyes cuz BOOM 😭😤😤 and to know that I am forced to enter today agaiinnn?? 🙄😭😭😭😭. LIKE WHY THIS IS HAPPENING TO MEEEE?? 😟😟Oohh not its getting time to sleep and i'll enteeer the voidd agaaainn 🙄🙄"
+You can also imagine you telling a friend how you always enter the void to the point it is annoying you.
+You can have fun, make it natural and be creative! Roll your eyes 🙄, act as if! Act like a movie actress, take a breath 😤 and say "uuhh omg why i keep enteriinnnn duh 😒"
KEEP LIVING IN 4D AND IN THE CHARACTHER NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!! If you left the state just go back to your self talks about "ughh i keep entering" again! 💗
The focus here is to change your assumptions and take it easy, you ignore 3d and keep telling yourself the new story 💗
Don't think in terms of "when will I enter?" But "I know I will enter since i always do, it is done".
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How long should I do the challenge?
That's up to you! You can pick a date, enter today, enter in 3 days, do along @uniquelymeandmyworld2 challenge or whatever you feel like!
That is it 😌 have fun babygirls 💗😘
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buwheal · 4 months
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heyy!!!!
i just wanted to say i LOVE YOUR ART STYLE SO MUCH AND THE WAY YOU DRAW SPAMTON IS LIKE… REALLY NEAT??? I WANNA EAT IT DUDE 😭 idk, i just think you’re rad.
also can you teach me how to draw a circle? :^)
Awwwh tysm!!!! I LOVE hearing this it makes me so happy and giddy and kicking my feet in the air!!!! Especially from someone who i think is really cool!! arrghh!!! Wanting to eat my art is one of the best things to hear from a mutual, lol.
and as for your last question, you start with a triangle, and then add a square, and then you do little domes on each flat surface, and then the bunny goes through the rabbit hole and then you PULL!!!!! and taadaahhhh!! Your very own.. uhm... hmm... I dont know what that is but the bow looks nice at least.
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ga-yuu · 2 years
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Sutokuin/Akihito Main Story Chapter 3
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Chapter 2
----Part 1----
Akihito: "Sueharu has a point."
Yoshino: "Hm?"
He scooped up my chin with his beautiful fingertips.....
Akihito: "Your heart is so sweet. It could certainly attract some pesky bugs."
Akihito: "You need to be more careful not to be devoured by them."
Our gazes intertwined at a distance where our breath almost touched and my heart thumped.
----Options----
What do you mean?
Do you want to devour me?(+4/+4)
The nectar could be poisonous
---------------
Yoshino: "Does Akihito-san want to devour me...?"
Akihito: "I'm trying to be a patient, but seems like you don't want me to."
Yoshino: "W-Wrong."
The ends of Akihito-san's lips arc at the sight of my impatience.
(He teased me again!)
I gently moved away from Akihito-san and pretended not to notice the heat on my cheeks.
Akihito: "Once again, let me ask you to treat the little bird."
Akihito: "I'll even pay for the medication and your fees by all means."
Akihito-san is even graceful in the way he bows his head.
Yoshino: "I will gladly accept your allowance!"
Yoshino: "I'll make the necessary medicines once I get home."
Yoshino: "So can I get the location of where you're staying?"
Akihito: "I don't mind, but how about we meet at your place?"
Yoshino: "No no....Right now, I'm being taken care of at a certain mansion for various reasons."
Akihito: "Various reasons? Alright then, I won't ask any more questions.....at least for now."
(I can't even mention the Shogunate, but what makes me feel like I'm being seen through....)
After asking for the location and time, we parted ways.
(Let's buy the ingredients for the medicine first and then go back home)
Yoshino: "Oh, by the way, I wonder what happened to those men who fell?"
(Akihito-san does not seem like the kind of person who would harm anyone)
(Enigmatic and a bit mean, but probably a kind person)
(I have to visit the drapers again tomorrow and ask how the men are. I hope they're awake)
...................
----Later that day. In a dark alley that Yoshino doesn't know...
Man 1: "Damn it! How did this happen...?"
Man 2: "Just shut up and run!"
The men who fell in front of Akihito and Yoshino were running frantically.
It was as if they were trying to escape something----
???: "Stop."
Man 3: "Kuu!"
Suddenly, the men's bodies stiffen and their legs are sewn to the ground.
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Akihito: "Good evening, assassins. Happy to see you all awake and healthy."
It's a complete change from when he was talking to Yoshino....
The ruler's demeanor exudes from his entire body in a grim way.
Man 4: "Nn...."
There was another shadow beside Akihito as he approached with ease.
Yasuchika: ".........."
There is no ever-present smile on Yasuchika's face as he stops quietly to protect Akihito.
Akihito: "They look so energetic after a long nap."
Akihito: "But, I'm not in for exhausting jobs like chasing you down. So make it easy for me, will you?"
----Part 2----
Akihito: "They look so energetic after a long nap."
Akihito: "But, I'm not in for exhausting jobs like chasing you down. So make it easy for me, will you?"
Man 5: "You monster! What is this...this power?"
One of the men spits out, unable to escape and soaked in cold sweat all over his body.
Akihito "How pitiful. Didn't your employers tell you about my powers?"
Akihito: "Or maybe you just thought it was an exaggerated metaphor?"
Akihito: "Well, that's understandable. It's hard to believe that someone could really manipulate curses in such a pictorial way."
Yasuchika gently pulled Akihito's sleeve as he laughed in the night wind.
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Yasuchika: "Let me take care of the rest, Akihito-sama."
Akihito: "But, Yasuchika..."
Yasuchika: "I want to."
When Yasuchika waved his hand on the ground, the soil under the men's feet groaned eerily.
Man 1: "ARRGHH!"
Black tendrils that split the soil and grew up entwined around the men's ankles and dragged their bodies down.
Man 2: "N-No...please...please spare our lives."
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Yasuchika: "But you guys didn't even hesitate to take Akihito-sama's life."
Yasuchika: "It's pretty pathetic to try to kill someone and then beg for your life when it's your turn, isn't it?"
Akihito: "Yasuchika..."
A freezing cold air is wafting from Yasuchika's fingertips and from his whole body.
Akihito: "You always get angry for me."
Yasuchika: "----Of course. I don't have anything else to cherish but you."
Akihito quietly lowered his eyes to the words without any hesitation at all.
So even Yasuchika does not know whether it was melancholy or guilt that was in his eyes.
Yasuchika: "Kill you or keep you alive. It won't matter because I'll get the information from you either way."
Man 3: "We'll speak! So please-----"
Yasuchika: "Don't get me wrong, okay? You're not in a position to make me an exchange."
Yasuchika: "All you can do is just be obedient. Unless you want me to...
The men groaned as the tangled vines squeezed them stronger.
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Yasuchika: "I'll show you hell. Because I'm dying to do that."
.............
Akihito: "Thank you for your help, Yasuchika."
Yasuchika: "No need to."
They left the alleyway where they had interrogated the men and walked together.
Yasuchika: "Are you sure you don't want to kill them?"
Akihito: "They are not worth it to be killed by your hands."
Akihito: "We have threatened them so much that they won't turn up again. As for the employer, we'll continue to let him swim."
Yasuchika: "If you say so."
Akihito: "You look disgruntled."
-----Part 3-----
Akihito: "You look disgruntled."
As if amused, Akihito looks into Yasuchika's face.
Yasuchika: "In the first place...it was too dangerous for Akihito-sama to make such a spectacular stand in Kamakura during the daytime."
Yasuchika: "You told me you would handle the assassins discreetly and stealthily."
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Akihito: "But Yoshino happened to pass by and I thought it was a revelation."
Akihito: "I got up close and personal with her, and it gave me the desire to get to know her."
Akihito: "That's why I only put them to sleep..."
Akihito: "I knew that after they woke up and fled the drapery shop, Yasuchika would keep an eye on them."
Yasuchika: "I was on the edge of my seat watching from the shadows."
Akihito: "Sorry sorry. But thanks to you, I got to know a lot more about her."
Yasuchika: "Do you like the fox princess more? I am a little surprised because we have been together longer than that."
Akihito: "That's true."
After a pause, Akihito answers.
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Akihito: "She is many times prettier than I'd imagined. Besides..."
Yasuchika: "Besides?"
Akihito: "I don't know why when I talk to her....sometimes I feel just a little bit saved."
Yasuchika: "..........."
Yasuchika's eyes widened in surprise.
Yasuchika: "Akihito-sama...is being saved...?"
Akihito: "----Looks like I said something weird again, forget it."
With a rare wry smile, Akihito waves his hand in the air.
Yasuchika: "...No, I get it."
Akihito: "....Even so, I've been unusually lucky today."
Akihito: "When I was playing with Yoshino, I didn't expect to run into an even bigger prey."
Yasuchika: "It is true that Akihito-sama infiltrated Kamakura for the purpose of making contact with Kichiji Kaneuri...."
Yasuchika: "So it's thanks to Yoshino-san who was already acquainted with the black marketer, isn't it?"
Yasuchika: "It's like the Tamamo-chi thing, it's like a strong pull or something...."
Yasuchika cocked his head.
Akihito: "She's meant to be a fox after all."
Unexpectedly, Akihito had no way of knowing that his assessment was the same as that given by the Shogunate's officials.
........................
The next day----
Yoshino: "So the only recent injury you've had is a bruise from training.....Is there anything else about your physical condition that concerns you?"
Soldier 1: "No! I feel perfectly healthy!"
Soldier 2: "Yoshino-san, I get sick to my stomach sometimes..."
Yoshino: "Please tell me more about your symptoms so that I can give you the right medicine."
I attended to the soldiers, who were waiting in a line, one by one.
(I am glad that Yoritomo-sama allowed me to work as a pharmacist in the Shogunate)
(In the afternoon, I'll stop at Akihito-san's inn and the draper shop, so let's work hard in the meantime!)
Yoshino: "Next..."
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Tamamo: "Me."
-----Part 4-----
Yoshino: "Next..."
Tamamo: "Me."
Tamamo: "The area around my heart feels warm every time when I see you working so healthily. I must be sick. Please look after me, doctor?"
Yoshino: "Ah! Tamamo, why are you standing in the line?"
Morinaga: "That's right. Demons don't need medical care, do they?"
Shigehira: "Why is the guy, who never catches a cold, standing in the line too?"
(Morinaga-san and Shigehira-san are also standing in the line!)
When I looked behind them, I saw two more familiar faces waving at me.
The soldiers had long since noticed and left after greeting their Lords.
Morinaga: "I thought if I could get some wound medicines in advance for my men. I'm having a training session with them in the afternoon!"
Yoshino: "That's so kind of you, Morinaga-san! I'll make sure to send them soon."
Morinaga: "Mm. I'll make sure nothing goes to waste."
(Hm?)
Shigehira: "You smiling demon...."
(Morinaga-san is soft-spoken, but he can be scary sometimes)
Yoshino: "So umm, why is Shigehira-san here? Are you sick?"
Shigehira: *blushes*
(What's wrong? Maybe)
Yoshino: "If it's something you don't feel comfortable saying in front of everyone, we can go to another room."
Shigehira: "....build up..."
Yoshino: "Excuse me?"
Shigehira: "I want to build up muscles okay.....tell me how to do it!"
Shigehira: "I asked Morinaga-san about it and he said I should seek the knowledge of a pharmacist who knows the human body inside out...."
Yoshino: "I-I see."
Yoshino: "But, why do you want to build up your muscles?"
Shigehira: "Don't you think you should look ripped if you're a samurai?"
(Shigehira-san looks so determined)
Tamamo: "No. From my aesthetic point of view, it's undesirable for Shigehira to have any more muscles than he has now."
Tamamo: "Yoshino, don't give him your consultation."
Yoshino: "Eeehh."
Shigehira: "Why the hell not!? I have my own problems okay?"
Tamamo: "It is the duty of those born beautiful to please the eyes of those around them. You can learn from me."
Shigehira: "No thanks...!"
Kagetoki: "What's all this fuss about?"
Yoshino: "Ah, Kagetoki-san."
(Also...)
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Yoritomo: "You look good, Yoshino."
Yoshino: "You too, Yoritomo-sama."
Morinaga: "Is Yoritomo-sama also waiting for consultation from our pharmacist?"
Yoritomo: "I followed Kagetoki because I thought I would find something interesting."
Shigehira: "Then, does that mean, Kagetoki-san is sick?"
Morinaga and Tamamo: "Surprising?"
Kagetoki: "Did I disappoint you?"
Morinaga-san and Tamamo spoke in perfect unison, and Kagetoki-san loosely lifted the edges of his lips.
(His power is so amazing!)
But without pursuing them further as they looked away, Kagetoki-san turned to me.
Kagetoki: "I came to deliver this book she asked for it."
-----Part 5-----
Kagetoki: "I came to deliver this book she asked for it."
Yoshino: "You searched for it? Thank you very much!"
Tamamo: "What book?"
Yoshino: "It's about the origins of the Shogunate."
Shigehira: "...Why?"
Yoshino: "If I am to be a member of the Shogunate until the end of the Great war..."
Yoshino: "I thought I'd like to know a little bit about what this place is like and what we're trying to achieve."
Shigehira: "....."
Tamamo: "Goodness gracious. Aren't you being too accommodating when you're the one involved?"
Yoritomo: "You're the reason, why she got involved."
Yoshino: "I can't deny that I got involved, but now that I've taken on the job, I want to do it right."
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Yoshino: "I hope I can gradually build up myself to do whatever I can do, rather than just vaguely trying to do my best....."
Kagetoki: "Is your work as a pharmacist part of that?"
Yoshino: "Yes."
(Akihito-san's affirmation of me gave me courage)
The words that Akihito-san said to me when I wished to save a little bird are on my mind.
----FLASHBACK----
Akihito: “You had a firm will. That is to be prized above money and means.”
Akihito: “I have the utmost respect and appreciation for that strength.”
-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----
Yoritomo: "You've become so bold, Yoshino."
Yoshino: "Thank you, but....! Does that mean you all thought I am a dense person?"
Shigehira: "Yes."
(What an immediate answer!)
Kagetoki: "They say children grow up so fast."
Yoshino: "I'm already an ADULT!"
I pass over their protests as best I can, and they all stare at me seriously.
(What? What's wrong?)
Morinaga: "Hmm...maybe someone's influence?"
Shigehira: "Influence?"
Yoshino: "Yeah, there is someone I met by chance...."
Tamamo: "Do you like him?"
Shigehira: *blushes for no reason*
Yoshino: "No no not at all!"
Yoritomo: "Ohh? Then bring him here once you both fall in love."
Yoritomo: "We all like to see what kind of person he is."
Morinaga: "Good idea. First I'll make him go under a physical fitness test, and then..."
Kagetoki: "We'll tie him up and interrogate him. If he's weird, then leave him to me."
Yoshino: "Please be gentle! I mean, I'm not in love with him!"
Tamamo: "No one knows what lies ahead...nor do we demons..."
His golden eyes narrowed and smiled mysteriously.
(Don't make me feel conscious about him....)
...................
That afternoon----
Yoshino: "May I come in, Akihito-san?"
Akihito: "Yes, please."
Chapter 4
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art-the-f-up · 3 years
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I cannot english but i believe i’ve got the right spirit.
Married LadyNoir AU Part 3 i guess also this is so mushy wtf but i needed to let you all know im alive so i took this out of my secret self indulgence folder and now im posting this and running away 🤡
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gemstone-roses · 3 years
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Little moments
Bucky x Sarah, Sam x Reader.
partly inspired by @luciilferss bucky pretends to be a sea monster idea, thanks for encouraging me to write this😙x. Dividers by@whimsicalrogers 💕
Summary: bucky pretents to be a sea monster, Sam teaches you how to swim. Fluff, mentions of drowning (brief).
Tags: @whoreforsamwilson @samwilsons-pillowpecs
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The sun pierces through the curtains, it's early, and it's too bright and it's the kind of sunshine you know will bring a gorgeous day.
Sarah wakes slowly, rolling over to cuddle, but finds an empty side instead. She can hear muffled voices from downstairs, the smell of something cooking wafts through the air.
She finds bucky plating up pancakes and bacon, nothing but a pair of shorts on and he looks divine.
"I made you breakfast" he smiles and it's a goofy smile, putting the plate down he Wraps his arms around her.
"Mm thankyou baby" she smiles, their foreheads touching, it's a little moment, Sarah likes the little moments with bucky, the little kisses, when he comes up behind her and snakes his arms around her waist,the moments where they lay in bed, reading, separate books, but together.
"were finished", the boys spoke at the same time "can we go now?" they say exitidly.
Bucky grins at the two boys, aj and cass were so excited, their swimming stuff already packed.
"Okay then, boys, you have everything?"
"yeah we do!"
Bucky swings a bag pack over his shoulder.
"You boys, have fun, and behave!" Sarah kisses them on the forehead
"Okay mum we will" they smile cheekily
"that goes for you too James" she leans in to kiss him
"of course" he winks, shouting I love you as he heads out the door.
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"last one in the water smells" aj shouts as him and his brother race to get in first.
Bucky chuckles at the boys, leaving the bags on the boat.
The boys are splashing each other, each splash getting bigger and bigger, they don't notice bucky sneak up behind them.
"do you know what the great famed buckmonster does to people who splash?" he growls, grabbing hold of cass, chuckling as the boy kicks his legs lightly to get away.
"what about you aj? What do you think the buckmonster does? Does he.. Tickle..?" Cass giggles as bucky tickles him,
"or does he....
Bucky lifts up cass over his head, before throwing him lightly into the water.
"my turn my turn!!" aj shouts swimming over to him
"again again!!" Cass pleads, both boys surrounding bucky in the water.
Bucky chuckles before doing the same to aj.
"are you boys having fun down there?"
"UNCLE SAM!!!" the boys cheer
"get in with us and bucky!! "
"yeah Sam, I need an extra sea monster to help me out!" bucky shouts up.
"Okay, I'm coming" Sam strips off his shirt
"You too auntie y/n" Cass shouts.
"You know what, I'm gonna stay up here with your mum, she needs some help with the boat" you smile.
"No I don't, you heard the boys, go on y/n" Sarah chuckles
"No really, I'm okay up here"
"Come on honey, I promise not to splash you" Sam winks
Sam notices your look of apprehension, he swims over to the side of the boat.
"what's wrong honey?" he questions softly.
"I can't swim" you whisper, avoiding his gaze.
"Okay, that's okay, I'll help you" Sam smiles up at you.
"um I don't think-
"You trust him y/n? Sarah interrupts
"with my life"
"then go on" she smiles, squeezing your shoulder in encouragement
Sam meets you at the edge of the water, he looks glorious, water dripping down his toned body.
He Wraps his arms around your waist.
"Come on, we're just gonna walk into the water okay, don't worry it's not deep, you can touch the floor" he smiles.
You wince as the cold water hits your toes.
You make it up to waist height before you stop.
Sam shows you some techniques on how to swim and stay afloat, he makes it seem easy.
"Sam I can't"
His arm is still around your waist
He spins you round to face him
"It's okay, I'm not gonna let you drown honey, I'm here"
You glance over to aj, cass and bucky, smiling as they continue to splash each other and shriek with laughter. The boys have floats and bucky is up to his chest in water.
"It's, it's not that far out" you say shakily
"You wanna go join them?"
"yeah, just-just don't let go okay?"
"I would never" he kisses you.
Sam guides you over to them, keeping a tight grip, telling you how good you were doing.
The water levels rising now, you can still touch the floor and it's not that deep, but your still slightly terrified.
"your doing so well honey" Sam whisperes in your ear.
Your almost there, you see cass swim over to bucky, wrapping his arms around buckys neck and whispering something.
They turn to you, cass clinging tightly to buckys neck, bucky has his float in one hand, the other holding the boy.
"auntie y/n, you can use my float for a bit if you like!! I don't mind, bucky can be my float for a bit" he giggles cheekily.
"Oh is that right" bucky laughs
"Thankyou cass" you say, clutching the float for dear life.
"Sam, you can, I think I'm good now" you smile at him
"are you sure?"
"yeah"
"Okay well I'll stay close honey, don't worry" he comforts
Your beginning to get the hang of it, even splashing Sam a couple of times, you turn round to give Sarah a wave, she waves back before suddenly stopping. You furrow your brows, confused.
"ARRGHH" someone yells behind you, jumping on your back
You scream as the boy giggles, you let go of the float, scrambling to keep yourself afloat, Sarah's doubled over laughing on the boat, buckys trying to hide his giggle and Sam's shocked face turns to amusement
"aj!" you whine
You grab the float to give to the boy so he can let go of you
"You did it!" he says proudly
"I did what?"
"your not holding onto anything!!" he says gleefully
"I-oh!"
"SAM!! SAM I DID IT!!" you yell
Sam cheers, raising his arms in the air, you hear Sarah whooping from the boat, shouting good job at her son.
"but, you know what aj?, now that I can swim?"
"what?"
"you've got, hmm, one, two, and THREE, seamonsters now" you smile, before he tries to swim away, yelling gleefully.
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The sun is setting, the boys are leaning against the side of the boat fast asleep, their leaning against each other, your sat in a circle, on crates, Sarah leans her head on buckys chest, humming in delight as the evening breeze blows over.
Sam's got his arm around your shoulder, beer hanging between his fingers.
You lean your head on his shoulder, sighing in content.
"I love this" Sarah says
"These little moments, sitting here, watching the sun, its like the world is still, these little moments, with my family, is everything". She continues.
Sarah raises her beer, prompting bucky and you and Sam to do the same.
"To family" she says
"to family" you all chorus. Clinking your beers together.
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musette22 · 3 years
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sooooo...it's been confirmed seb's in LA, and a certain someone who we haven't seen for a while (sans the pre-recorded QnA from yesterday) may/should, too, be in LA
headcannon: they're both holed out in the same place and having a long-overdue reunion ☺️
It’s been confirmed Seb is in LA? How do we know? Aaahhh this makes me so happy though, just the idea that they’re in the same city... and not long after we know for a fact they texted (”Love you”)... 🥺 oh man, my fic brain is working overtime right now arrghh, I love it!! Thanks for letting me know 😘
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fishcage · 3 years
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ARRGHH i need to start. Running if i am doing winter track this year. I’m going to my friends house Sunday so we can fuck around and throw his javelin he got on eBay for funsies and kayak and such but liek. I need to start a new workout regimen cause i cant use my school’s weight room rn…
My brother said he wants to start running and i said “yeah ill do that with u if u want” because i tend to need a friend or someone else to commit to something w/ me if i commit to something other than lifting lol. And esp. since i wanna start like actually weight lifting this winter for training with real 45+ lb weights i need to get my stuff 2gether lol.
I think i’m gonna start smaller with focus on my traps, deltoids and biceps along with ofc leg work (i have really strong legs from genetics and skiing so I usually dont need too many leg days) and then i’ll prolly start running some more cause i need to get conditioned for sprinting (and maybe even throwing events other than jav)
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chiaki-translation · 4 years
Text
TWILIGHT GUNMAN: Event Translation Ch1-5
Something happened, I think I have to take a short break from translating for a while, but I finished the whole event story for this one... Epilogue might need to wait a bit though... I hope that I can get back soon. I think it’s not a good idea to put everything in 1 post so I divide it into 2 for now, will be uploading the other half as soon as I’m done with proofreading.
TWILIGHT GUNMAN Ch1-5 / / Ch6-10 / / Epilogue
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Disclaimer:
A3! is owned by Liber Entertainment
Translator’s Note: Location Bus refers to the bus they use to go to the shooting location.
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Amabi Student A:
Ha~, today’s lecture’s so tiring…
Amabi Student B:
Should we get lunch in the meantime?
Amabi Student A:
Right. Banri, you’re coming too right.
Banri:
Yeah
Professor:
Settsu, can I have a bit of your time?
Banri:
Me?
Professor:
Sorry, but come with me for a bit.
Amabi Student A:
What what? Banri did you do anything?
Amabi Student B:
As expected of our course’s proud yankee.
Banri:
I’m not a yankee.
Anyway, I didn’t know anything too.
(…But, seriously, what is it about?)
<Shifts to Dorm>
Director:
I’m home.
Citron:
Bang! Dayo!
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Director:
!?
Citron:
Oh, Director, it’s no good, you have to fall down properly!
Your reaction’s weak~
A person from Kansai should have been beaten with one shot you know…
Tsuzuru:
No, if you’re that abrupt of course you won’t be able to react properly.
Director:
Eh, umm, what do you mean?
Tsuzuru:
Citron-san seems to be getting into those Western Movies nowadays.
Previously, he was into Shinsengumi, and he even said he’s going to reform the government’s order…
Kazunari:
And after that, he was into role-playing Onmyouji right!
Director:
I see… That’s why the pistol huh.
Citron:
The game that I played with Itaru was so interesting!
Ha! Bang bang!
Tsumugi:
Ugh…!
Da, damn it…
Citron:
Bang!
Kazunari:
Ugh, you got me~!
Citron:
It’s no use hiding in the kitchen!
Bang bang bang!
Omi:
Arrghh!
Da, damn it…!
Citron:
Bang!
Tsuzuru:
I’m already tired of that.
Citron:
Oh, Tsuzuru you’re spoiling the mood~
Tsuzuru:
How many times have I played along with you since yesterday!
Director:
(Ahaha, everyone seems to be playing along with Citron-kun’s Western role-play…)
Citron:
It’s decided, I will be the lead in a Western setting for the next performance!
Tsuzuru, let’s start biting now!
Tsuzuru:
Don’t be impossible!
Anyway, it’s not biting, it’s writing right.
Banri:
Everyone’s lively as usual.
Director:
Banri-kun, welcome back.
Citron:
Banri, welcome back!
Ha! Bang bang!
Banri:
Ah? What’s that?
Citron:
You’ll know just by looking! It’s a gunman.
I’m playing as a Western gunman!
Banri:
Gunman? What a coincidence.
Director:
? What do you mean?
<End of Chapter 1>
Banri:
Anyway, I was thinking of telling this to Director-chan first, but—
A professor from my university was asking if members from MANKAI company theatre troupe want to appear in a movie as extras.
The recruitment of the movie extra seems to focus on Amabi’s student, but they need more people…
They also seem to want people with non-student feels, I heard that from a professor who knows that I belong to a theatre troupe.
Omi:
I see.
Banri:
It seems that the popularity of that Onmyouji performance from that time plays a part within the school too.
The shooting will include staying overnight, other than the general offer, there’s a special compensation too and my university load will be reduced.
Kazunari:
I might have seen that recruitment too!
It’s the title that they’ve been broadcasting on that big cinema complex right.
Director:
That sounds interesting!
I’ve thought so during the Onmyouji performance too, but we don’t really have the chance to touch any normal movies, so it might be a good opportunity.
Tsumugi:
If the cost is covered by them, it seems that we would be able to get approval from Sakyo-san too.
Tsuzuru:
You’re right.
Banri:
Then, I’ll tell that to the professor.
Citron:
Of course, I want to perform the gunman role~!
Bang! Bang!
Tsumugi:
In the meantime, Citron-kun’s participation has been decided I guess.
Banri:
…I guess.
<Time Skip>
Banri:
Thanks for the meal.
Omi:
Yeah.
Banri, you’re going off already?
Banri:
Yeah, I have first period today.
Honestly, I don’t feel like it, but…
Kazunari:
Ah, Settzer wait a bit!
I also have the first period, let’s go together!
Banri:
Yeah.
Kazunari:
Then, we’re going off!
Omi:
Yeah, be careful.
<Shifts to Road>
Kazunari:
Such a good weather today~
I’ve only gotten until third period today, I guess I’ll drop by somewhere on the way back after class later!
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Banri:
Seriously… I’m packed until fifth period today.
Kazunari:
Ah, is your second period today perhaps a lecture by Professor Suzucchi?
Banri:
Yeah.
Kazunari:
Professor Suzucchi sometimes gives you a report assignment.
I recommend you to choose the materials that you can find the related data from the books in the library!
Banri:
He-, really.
Kazunari:
I will recommend you some books that I have read later!
Banri:
Thank you. If it’s Kazunari’s recommendation, it cannot go wrong.
Kazunari:
Anyway, about the movie’s extra!
It looks super fun~!
Banri:
I guess. It might become something interesting on top of saving my honour.
Kazunari:
Right!
That will be another vibe point for you!
<End of Chapter 2>
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Director:
Then, we will participate as the movie extra with these members this time.
Sakuya:
Pleased to work with you!
Citron:
Fighting!
Tsumugi:
I’m glad that Citron-kun can participate without any problem.
Banri:
They seem to need a foreigner extra this time.
But rather than the gunman role, it seems that they want him to appear as the native people instead.
Kazunari:
Really!?
Tsumugi:
Even though he wanted the gunman role so much…
Citron:
I have no problem with it! I’m now in the middle of studying the role of the natives!
Awowowowwowo~!
Yuki:
You sure change your mind fast.
Director:
Yuki-kun won’t be extra, you’ll participate as the costume personnel right.
Yuki:
Yeah. I was contacted again by Kazunari’s acquaintance from Amabi University.
He was asking if I want to come and help with the costume arrangement.
It’s like a substitute for a part time job and it seems that I can pile up more experience.
Kazunari:
To participate as movie extra with these members, it’s so lit!
Everyone, let’s do our best!
Sakuya:
Yes!
Tsumugi:
Yeah, I’m really looking forward to it.
Banri:
Then, I’ll inform the professor about the member line up.
Director:
I’ll leave it to you!
<Shifts to University>
Kazunari:
Then, my classroom’s on the second floor! See you later!
Settzer too, good luck on your lesson~
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Banri:
Yeah, see you later.
Alright then…
Amabi Student A:
Oh, it’s Banri. Morning-.
Banri:
Morning.
Amabi Student A:
I think we’re together for the first period.
…Ah, anyway, have you heard?
Banri:
Hah? What is it.
Amabi Student A:
There’s going to be a change in the production work in Amabi, that Western movie.
The supporting role’s actor has dropped out for various reasons I heard.
<Shifts to Dorm>
Kazunari:
--Yeah yeah.
Ahaha, right~!
Yeah, then I’ll call you again some other time!
Later~
Alright, let’s go back to the room and…
Eh?
(There’s someone in the balcony?
I wonder who. Aririn’s tea session?
Maybe I should go and join~!)
<Shifts to Balcony>
Sakyo:
…Ah, right.
Banri:
I see.
Kazunari:
Eh!? It’s such a rare pair here!?
Good work today~!
Hey hey, what are you guys talking about?
Banri:
Nah… It’s nothing.
I have to get back to my room soon.
Then, later.
Kazunari:
…Eh, did I disturb anything perhaps?
Sakyo:
…Nah, it’s nothing particular.
I’m going back too.
It’s getting colder outside, you should get back to your room soon.
Kazunari:
Ah, yeah…
<End of Chapter 3>
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Citron:
Location bus is so exciting!
I somehow managed to get snacks under 300yen!
Sakuya, I’ll give this to you.
Sakuya:
Woah, Citron-san, thank you so much!
Director:
No no, it’s 300yen, but it’s not like we’re on a trip or anything.
Tsumugi:
But as I thought, I’m feeling excited just by heading to the shooting location using this kind of bus.
Yuki:
Well, it’s not like I don’t understand their feeling.
Banri:
Kazunari:
Settzer~
Banri:
Hmm?
Kazunari:
Alright, here! It’s the new stock of snacks I found in the convenience store!
I’ll give one to Settzer too!
Banri:
Oh, thank you.
Kazunari:
Hey hey, Setzzer, about yesterday--
Citron:
I’ll give a banana to Banri!
Let’s add banana on our snack break!?
Banri:
No, I told you this is not a trip!
Citron:
Don’t be reserved, I received those from the aunties in the shopping district!
There’s a lot~!
Banri:
How much do you even get.
There are too many bananas here.
Extra A:
Ahaha, you’re such a good friend!
Extra B:
But Citron-san, you seriously have such a deep character~
Extra C:
Too interesting! It seems that even the journey will be fun.
Director:
(Citron-kun has become really popular among the extras it seems.)
Banri:
My bad, did you say anything just now?
Kazunari:
…Uh, it’s nothing!
<Shifts to Location>
Tsumugi:
Amazing… It really feels like I’m lost in the Western World.
Kazunari:
Seriously, it’s so lit~!
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Staff A:
Camera’s over here!
Staff B:
Please check the lighting!
Banri:
It seems like they’re not settling down.
Sakuya:
Seems bad…
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Director:
Ah, everyone’s finished changing it seems!
They really fit you well!
Tsumugi:
Thank you so much.
Staff C:
Oh~! You over there, your image fits the role so well!
Staff D:
Amazing! It’s perfect!
Citron:
It’s not bad!
Awowowo~
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Kazunari:
Settzer’s gunman’s super cool too!
Banri:
Oh, thank you.
Kazunari too, it looks pretty great on you.
Kazunari;
Seriously!? Thanks~
Tsumugi:
Eh, Yuki-chan will participate too?
Sakuya:
Is it a bar’s waitress costume?
I can really feel the atmosphere!
Yuki:
I heard that they don’t have enough people.
Well, I look cute like this, so I think it’s fine.
Staff A:
Everyone playing extra, you’ll be waiting for your turn so please go to the location bus at once!
Citron:
Understand~
Director:
Then, let’s go.
Yuki:
Yeah.
Sakuya:
I’m really looking forward to the shooting, I’m a bit nervous though…!
Banri:
It’s about time huh…
Sakuya:
? Banri-kun, what happened?
Banri:
My bad, Sakuya, I’ll be away for a while.
Sakuya:
Ah, Banri-kun…!
<End of Chapter 4>
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Kazunari:
But Ronron’s costume, the quality’s really high!?
Yuki:
They were particular about the fabrics too, but I might like this kind of access actually.
Director:
The feather decoration has a really beautiful colour too.
Citron:
It fits perfectly with my oriental feels!
I like it!
Kazunari:
Eh? By the way where’s Settzer?
I don’t see him anywhere…
Sakuya:
About that, he went away somewhere earlier…
Citron:
He’s running away by himself!?
That’s not fair!
Sakuya:
Umm, I think that’s not the situation…
Tsumugi:
Well well, maybe he has something else to do.
Kazunari:
Right! If it’s Settzer, it should be fine!
Director:
You’re right.
Kazunari:
<Shifts to Bar>
Staff:
Good work everyone!
We managed to end today’s shooting without any problem.
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We have prepared the food as well, please enjoy yourself!
Let’s stay in the costume as it is, we’ll still be using it from tomorrow onwards, so it’s a good chance to build your role, we seek your cooperation for that matter!
Extra A:
Ahaha, well, it’s true that the shop’s atmosphere feels very Western, it might end up becoming a good role study it seems.
Yuki:
It’s fine, but don’t you dare dirty the costume now.
Sakuya:
I, I’ll be careful!
Citron:
Without further ado, let’s eat!
Kazunari:
Woah! This meat’s super delish~!
Furthermore, your eyes are wild! Let’s take some pictures for Insta!
Director:
Even the food feels so Western!
The potato is delicious too.
Citron:
It’s delicious~! I want to dance a happy dance!
Awowowowo!
Sakuya:
The Western vibes are getting higher and higher!
Tsumugi:
By the way, there’s the lead actor too, but I’m glad that the movie’s by Director Uesugi, the aura’s really different…
Yuki:
I think that I’ve heard the story from him, if I’m not wrong, our useless actor has starred in that director’s work too.
Kazunari:
Seriously!? So lit!
Sakuya:
As expected of Tenma-kun…!
Banri:
Good work.
Director:
Ah, Banri-kun! You’re late.
Yuki:
Anyway, where did you go.
Citron:
Alright, Banri, did you run away to get signatures from the actors!?
Banri:
I wasn’t doing that obviously.
The theatrical and dance department from Amabi University was summoned to a different place.
I was just shooting in another location.
Yuki:
Then, isn’t it fine if you just explain from the beginning.
Sakuya:
Woah, what kind of scene was it?
Banri:
…Well, that, just look forward to it.
Yuki:
What’s that, don’t act like you’re so important.
Kazunari:
<End of Chapter 5>
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Text
Save it for  a Rainy Day (pt. 1)
So I guess I may as well talk about what happened since I’m doing fuckall else. 
Last night I was a couple blocks away from the HBC when it just starts POURING. Like no warning. Just DOWNPOUR. 
Well it’s more than an hour walk home from the cafe even without torrential downpours. So I actually did something logical for once and hoofed it back to Lan Zhan’s. I was just going to wait out the storm or call a cab or something. Didn’t want to bother him too much.
I walked the few blocks back but by then I was just soaked through. Every bit of me. 
Why do you feel so much more WET when you’re wearing clothes in the water than you do naked? Like how is that a thing?
Oh it was miserable
And worse it was COLD. Ugh.
He slopped up to Lan Zhan’s apartment and knocked. Yes I know he gave me a key but it’s not my place. I don’t want to just barge in when he was most likely settling in for the night. 
He looked both surprised and alarmed to see me, but I think the alarm might actually have just been because I was so WET and not because it was me. Which is a relief.
I said “Hi” awkwardly and he quickly ushered me inside to drip in his entry way. 
He immediately went off to get me some towels because he is the nicest person in the world. I tried to apologize for disturbing him but he wouldn’t hear of it. 
“I’m glad you came back. I was actually about to come looking for you.”
I took a proper look at him now that my sodden hair was pulled away from my eyes and saw that he actually did look ready to go out. He had some waterproof looking shoes and jacket on. 
Was he really that worried about a little bit of rain?
Of course he is. See above: Nicest person in the world.
“Oh. Um… Thanks. You didn’t have to go through that trouble though. I would have been fine regardless,” I say despite the fact that the rain was alarming enough to make me turn around and seek shelter. I don’t think he bought it because he gave me one of his /looks/. 
I laughed awkwardly, still dripping. “Ahem.. ah.. Anyway… Um.” 
Very eloquent, Wei Wuxian. Smooth as butter. I coughed again. 
“Sorry for turning up like this anyway. Do you mind if I wait out the rain here? Or no wait I can just call an Uber or something. That’ll be fine. I won’t bother you too long.”
The look came back. The look that tells me I’m being utterly ridiculous. 
He seemed to hesitate, but then reached out to take my hand to pull me further inside. I yelped a bit in protest- I didn’t want to drip on everything! - but he ignored me. 
“ I do not think that the weather will let up any time soon. You can stay here tonight,” he said, his voice holding none of the hesitation his hand had shown earlier. 
We stopped outside of the bathroom where he requested that I wait a moment. He disappeared into his room for a moment and came back holding the same black robe from the spa day (do not say date. It was not a spa date. It was just a day. Between friends. Uuuugh why is this so hard???). 
“Leave your clothes outside the door and I will wash them while you take a shower,” he said. He gave me no room to argue as he all but pushed me into the bathroom. 
That was the point where I posted yesterday. Just sitting there trying to collect my wits about me. 
I will say, as strange as it is being naked in someone else’s home, I was glad for the shower. I was still so cold and the shower helped a lot. 
I kinda wished the robe was a bit longer when I wrapped myself up in it after I got out. Beyond the fact that my ankles were a bit cold (the bunny slippers that were provided helped a lot), I was just very aware that I was actually like
Naked naked this time. 
(My underwear had been soaked through so they were with the rest of my clothes. )
Eventually (after posting again) I finally got out of the shower to seek out my savior. 
I found him in the kitchen making me dinner
Because of course I did. 
There was a mug of hot chocolate on the counter already waiting for me. I stared at the steam for a moment before I came back to reality and announced myself. Lan Zhan looked up at me with a soft look that is his version of a light smile. 
“You haven’t eaten yet?” I asked. It was late for him to be cooking now. I know he usually eats right away after work.
“Mn,” he confirmed with a soft hum. “I was worried.”
“Oh Lan Zhan,” I sighed as I tried to ignore how that made my heart flip. “You worry about the silliest things. “
He looked sideways at me for a moment before he responded. “Yes Wei Ying is silly sometimes, but well worth worrying about.”
ARRGHH
WHO SAYS THAT
WHO FUCKING SAYS THAT???????
;ALSDJF;ALSKDJFAL;F
HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT TOO THAT DICK
A;LSFJK;DKLFJA;SKLFL
Ugh. 
Well after recovering from that mortal wound I glowered at him while he pretended not to notice me glowering at him. 
As he continued to feign ignorance I decided to move closer until my head was basically resting on his arm.
He looked at me with that even stare of his and asked me what I was doing. 
“Causing problems on purpose,” I answered. “What are you cooking?”
“Dinner”
Oh I’ve been a bad influence on this man. 
This time I got to give HIM a look which made him huff out the impression of a laugh before he answered properly. “I have congee cooking in the pressure cooker,” he explained. “I am making chicken for you to go with it.”
As if to emphasize his point, he reached for more chili to put in the pan with the chicken, causing a delicious aroma to float into the room. 
“Ooh! I can’t wait!” I said. And, deciding it was better not to lean on someone who is dealing with hot things, I moved away to let him cook in peace.
The rest of the evening wasn’t too terribly eventful. We ate dinner together (Delicious) and finished just in time for my clothes to be dry. 
He gave me some pajamas to change in to now that I had clean, dry (warrmmmm) underwear, and we settled in to watch movies for the night. 
In all honesty… I’ve been exhausted lately. Must be stress. Pretending you’re not in love with someone who means the whole world to you is just so draining! Fuck. 
So
I started to drift off. 
I didn’t manage to drift off entirely though. I was still cold. Didn’t want to complain. 
Maybe Lan Zhan could sense it though? Because he shifted me around after a while so that I was leaning against him. 
My feet were still cold but he was so warrmmmmm. 
He slid his arm around me and started playing with my hair. Did he know I was awake? Did he think I was sleeping? Did he even realize he was doing it? Did he care it was still damp from the shower?
I very nearly fell asleep for real then. I was just so comfortable. And I missed him holding me like this. So much. I decided to be greedy and just enjoy it. 
Does that make me a bad person? 
Probably. 
The movie we’d been watching ended finally and I was about to reveal myself as being secretly awake when he shifted. And. He kissed my forehead. 
It was the lightest brush of lips against my skin but I can still feel it there. Just as I can with all the innocent kisses I’ve managed to collect. I can still feel them all. 
And then
Without so much as a grunt of effort,
He just hoisted me up into his arms and carried me to the guest room. 
Damn them muscles.
He set me down and tucked me in so carefully. But when he turned to leave
Ugh.
I don’t know. 
I must have been more asleep than I thought and the part of my brain that lets me NOT BE A GOBLIN must have been shut down. 
I just whined and made grabby hands at him. I didn’t want him to go
So I just made like a toddler and made actual grabby hands at him. 
Fuck
I’m so lame.
Ah. well it worked I suppose. He hesitated for a second,then climbed into bed with me. I remember feeling his arms slide around me and I snuggled in, greedy for my stolen moments. 
I shouldn’t have done that. But I did. 
I’m so selfish. 
I remember him mumbling good night before I fell asleep properly. 
Ugh. Sleep. 
I’m sleepy. I think I’m going to nap and type up the rest later.
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starrose17 · 3 years
Note
Well, my message backfired 😬 Sorry:( FYI We say “expiration” date & that we’ll “call” someone.
I think a lot of fanfic is based on SciFi/Fantasy media. Star Trek is known to be one of first inspiration for fanfic. Well, American society is not very fond of these genres. I remember a Buffy actor saying that at home no one knows who she is but in England it’s like she’s a Beatle. My point is I have read A LOT of fanfic & so much is written by someone from Europe/Canada & I think most readers are like me & are just used to it & don’t care. We’re just so happy others out there love the same stuff we do & it’s comforting that just because a show ends the stories goes on.
lol Yeah sorry about that.  Arrghh, you’re right, i know you’re right, I just...eurgh, just gotta stop over thinking.
Oh man I do remember though something that made laugh so hard at the time the first time i heard it, an episode of The Simpsons where Marge refers to Bart and Lisa’s “fanny packs”, dear god i literally almost bust a gut laughing going WTF DID SHE JUST CALL THEM?! XD Ahh, will always wonder how that word got lost in translation across the pond.
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Note
Daily-Connie: 51
51. Have you ever been on a plane?
I actually have not! I'd like to at least try, though. Seems spooky.
52. Have you ever kissed a picture?
...Yes.
53. Have you ever slept in until 3:00p?
Oh, definitely. My sleep schedule goes down the drain in uncertain times. Like this one, actually!
54. Have you ever loved someone, or miss someone right now?
I "loved" one person, then I loved another. I don't miss them.
55. Have you ever cloudgazed?
Yes, occasionally! I don't often have the time, though
56. Have you ever made a snow angel?
Yeah, but it's been a long while. I don't really get to play like I used to,
57. Have you ever played dress-up?
I used to, a long, long time ago!
58. Ever cheated in a game?
Can't name specifics but yes, probably
59. Have you ever been lonely?
I have, even if I've been talking to a lot of people at that time. You need not just interactions, but connections. I'm trying to be better at that.
60. Have you fallen asleep at work/school?
I really, REALLY try not to. But I've noticed that whenever I find myself bobbing my head, it's in the classes I found the least engaging, like math or physics. A similar thing happened at my last [and first, actually] job—I would be all over the place, getting my own tasks done and then spending the rest of the time going around helping others, I was always on my feet, but then I got switched around to ONLY working in the rehab gym and not being able to be anywhere else and I'd run out of tasks in there very quickly and because I didn't have anything to do, I started falling asleep again! I circumvented it by just flat-out leaving earlier [since I had been going above my hours the entire time anyway]
61. Have you ever been to a club?
Nope!
62. Have you felt an earthquake?
I haven't FELT one, but maybe there's been a couple weak ones before? I don't remember...
63. Have you touched a snake?
I do remember this actually, once in summer camp, there was a butter python or something like that, they were very chungy
64. Have you ever ran a red light?
I don't drive. I would have been trying to get my permit this year, but...
65 + 66. Have you been suspended, or had detention?
Not once! I'm a good noodle, I swear.
67. Have you been a car accident?
A VERY minor one. We were like, what, 10 MPH in the snow? But even that was enough to dent a door and misalign the front axle so that, several times during the rest of that five-hour trip from upstate, the car would randomly swerve and threaten to throw us into a bridge guard, off a snowy hill, etc. Sort of a tense ride.
68. Have you ever hated the way you look?
Yes. It's hard. I've really been trying to branch out with my outfits and ignore my own doubts, but sometimes I look in the mirror after a day of thinking I had looked good and it all just collapses
69. Have you witnessed a crime?
Again, not PERSONALLY, but this does sort of tie back to question 50.
70. [OMITTED]
71. Have you ever been lost?
Physically? Yes, I can hardly tell left from right sometimes. Emotionally? ...Also yes.
72. Have you been to the opposite side of the country?
Nope. Farthest I've been is Illinois to the west, and South Carolina to the, well, south
73. Have you ever felt like dying?
...I'm not gonna lie to you on this one. Yes. I had never gone as far as to plan anything, but I definitely had passive thoughts about it. Those days are past me, though, and hopefully they stay that way. There are people around you who are willing to help, and although they can't magically fix everything, they can make your darkest days just a little brighter.
Although I'm lucky to have sat and waited until that rut finally passed and I've been doing much better for about a year now, I really regret not having told people with the urgency it needed. I didn't realize just how miserable a place my mind had been until those thoughts slowly disappeared, and for the first time I realized just how wonderfully empty my mind was without them. So please, reach out to people whenever you're in need. You won't be a bother, I promise. We'll do the hardest part with you.
74. Have you cried yourself to sleep?
On a less heavy but similar caliber, yes, and too many times to count. It really doesn't need to be this way though. Not saying "arrghh bark bark bark don't ever cry," but if you recognize you're in a bad spot, talk to someone! Maybe you'll still end up crying yourself to sleep, that's fine! But you don't have to be alone while you do it.
75. Have you sang karaoke?
On a GENUINELY lighter note, yes!! The first time I sang in public was at Anime NYC this past November. On Sunday, I met another Steven. We decided to party up and find all the other Stevens, which then turned to rounding up SU cosplayers in general, and gosh they were SUCH a fun and loving group to be around. All of them came from different places, had their own experiences and ways around the world, yet were able to perfectly understand and show compassion for all these strangers they just met. I'd never felt so at home with people I'd just met.
During the last hour or so of the convention, everyone got together and did group karaoke in the outer hall! I was hesitant to join in, but soon enough I felt safe around them to let my own voice be heard and join in—I even took Steven's short spotlight during True Kinda Love. Golly, I wish I could meet them all again...!!
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A Brief Manic Street Preachers Album Guide
by someone who somehow has every single record they’ve ever put out and only regrets it sometimes. Usually in the middle of the night.
Generation Terrorists (1992).  WE ARE THE CLASH EXCEPT WE WEAR EYELINER AND CARE ABOUT POLITICS AND SOCIAL JUSTICE.
Gold Against the Soul (1993). Brief cock rock phase. We kinda want to be Guns ‘n’ Roses, except sexier.
The Holy Bible (1994). Society is corrupt, everything is terrible, we hate relationships, and we want to kill everyone. Challenge to make singable melody out of list of tyrannical leaders’ names? ACCEPTED.
Everything Must Go (1996). LET’S FORGET ALL THAT AND DO SOME STADIUM ROCK ABOUT BOOZE
This is My Truth Tell Me Yours (1998). Shakespearean tragedy featuring harmonicas and slide guitar. Also known as “Nicky is sad and misses Richey, Part 1″.
Know Your Enemy (2001). Hey guys, sorry for selling out like that. Here, have something so bizarre and hardcore that we had record it in another country. Arrghh. Grrrrr. Demos. Record scratches. Hrrghh. 
Forever Delayed (2002). We’re being lazy so here’s a pointless best-of compilation with some pop singles about God
Lipstick Traces (2003). It’s a cool, edgy album of bsides! ... except it fucking lacks both “Too Cold Here” AND “Love Torn Us Under”, which makes it ENTIRELY IRRELEVANT (”Judge Yr’self” almost makes up for it, though. Almost. ALMOST)
Lifeblood (2004). More Shakespearean stuff, even poppier this time. Man, we love harmonicas. Otherwise known as “Nicky Is sad and misses Richey, Part 2″.
Send Away the Tigers (2007). Wish we were young again, let’s sing about revolution and shit and actually put guitar solos back into our songs
Journal for Plague Lovers (2009). All those skeletons in Richey’s closet? HERE YOU GO! Sex and guilt and self-mutilation! And... great pop melodies. Thanks, James.
National Treasures (2011). Another best of. Don’t worry, you don’t have to buy this, we’re under contract to put shit out, sorry
Postcards from a Young Man (2012). This is secretly the best album we’ve put out in 15 years but nobody’s going to care because there’s no scandal to go with it. Mother fucker.
Rewind the Film (2013). Tragedy, guest singers, and old people playing chess. AKA “Nicky is sad and misses Richey, Part 3″.   
Futurology (2014). Yeah so, this is the album we really meant to release but somehow REWIND THE FILM happened instead — sorry about that
Resistance is Futile (2018). Man, we’re old. Fancy a pint and a bath with epsom salts?
Fun tumblr challenge: reblog and tag your fave.
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emmalovesu · 4 years
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Angelito: Not a Typical Love Story
By Emma Angela Cayton of Grade 11 HUMSS 1
Angel/Angelito Gustavo was a really dedicated person. He can do anything just for the sake of love. He always thinks what he can give rather than what he could probably receive because that's how he conceptualize love.
First POV
I was busy scrolling through my feed. People nowadays spend so much time ranting about their pain. Well in some point it's good that there's something/someone you can rely on. I was too drowned with my thoughts when my phone rang. 'Hel-' the caller did not even let me speak a word
'Baklaaaaa! Where are youu?! Time is running yorrr! The wedding was about to start-'I didn't let him finish his unending speech and hang up the phone. Ghaaad~ I was really nervous that time.
'This is it' I uttered and sighed
I drove myself to the beach where the wedding was held. Everyone was there including my closest friends, cousins and relatives.
'Baklaa! You're 5 mins late! It's your wedding day how could you be late?' Carla shouted
'You're being hysterical Carl' I replied while looking directly into his eyes
'Arghh!' He uttered in annoyance
A gist of flashback
Troy and I were dating for about 4 years now.
It was already late and for the nth time that I called him, he finally answered.
'Babe? Why did you not answer my calls? ' I asked him.
'I'm really busy today babe. I will be home soon I promise.' He reassured
'I love you ' He added
'Ok, I love you too' I replied and hang up
Then suddenly I heard a knock on our door.
'Gosh~ Who is this creep who would dare to knock on my door at 1 am' I uttered in annoyance
'Surprise!'- Troy
'Oh my God babe! You freaked me out!' I glared at him
'Haha I'm sorry babe it's just- haha' And there he was laughing with a hand full of red roses
'You know what if you're not my boyfriend I would probably sent you in a mental facility' I said while crossing my arms
'I love you babe and happy 4th anniversary' he said while hugging me. His warm hug did not just bring warmth unto my body but it brings strange chills into my spine. I just love him unconditionally and I knew he also felt the same way.
2 weeks later
I received a call from my mom.
'Anak, we need to talk' I was confused because mom never talked to me in a really serious tone.
'ok mom what is it? ' I asked.
'Meet me at our house at 7 pm' then she hung up. Attitude ma? Just kidding. After that call I was so frustrated that I didn't even managed to pay attention to my clients at all.
After an hour.
This curiosity had been killing me for awhile, finally I will be able to know what news could it be. I drove myself to our house. Mom, dad and Troy was there. OMG! Is this a proposal?
'Good evening ma, pa, babe' I smiled. Can I ask for a glass of water? Troy was holding a small box. Obviously it was a ring and that was for meeeee. I'M GETTING MARRIED!
'Anak, Troy needs to tell you something' Mom broke the silence.
Back to the reality.
I almost cried- wait I literally just cried a few seconds ago when I saw her walking in the aisle. She looks stunning in her wedding dress.
'I was so lucky to have you Gwen' I uttered spontaneously
'I'm proud of you son. Finally you have found someone who will treat you the way you should be treated and not a milking cow.' dad said.
She was not just my moon and stars. She's my whole damn sky.
You might be wandering what the heck is happening right? Yes I was with Troy and I almost thought that were really getting married but fortunately not. This angel came and get rid of my femininity.
Another flashback
'What is it Troy? ' I smiled. I almost fainted when he show me the ring- wait it was not the ring that he gave me but an envelope. Pranks haha.
'Troy stop pulling out pranks I know you-' I stopped when I finally saw what the envelope has. Pregnancy test.
'Troy? You're pregnant? How?! ' I freaked out but wait How could it be-
'Ofcourse not! ' he yelled at me
'Stop pretending that everything was fine Angelito! You know we have a problem but you never fixed it. You just keep on shrugging it off until I just realized... Maybe it would be better to end everything about US' he explained
'So did that give you all the rights to cheat? Did you even remember how you tend to control everything that I do? You always tell me stop working because of your jealousy. How ironic seeing a cheater scared to be cheated.' I sobbed.
'No I did not cheat! You already knew that you can never give me what I want!' He shouted
'But.... I-I already gave you everything I can. '
Mom hugged me and Troy left. Ever since that day I never saw him again.
'Ma, d-do y-you know anything about this? ' I asked between my sobs
'I'm sorry anak but your sister, Vivian is pregnant' and that's it. Vivian my own sister betrayed me. I never see this coming. Ever since I always look up unto her. She's my role model yet here she was pregnant with my boyfriend. She always tell me that nothing would tear us apart even guys. Ironic right?
Months passed.
I was still at the midst of hell, after that news I never talked to anyone especially Vivian.
'Hey Angel!' an unknown voice woke me up
'Jusko Guinevere! Can you please leave me alone! You're creeping me out!' I shouted
May I rephrase what I just said earlier except with this creep who keeps on sticking herself unto me.
'Yeah whatever your saying man oy. You should thank me, you know~ I just made you breakfast. Actually it's already 1 pm but whatever' she said
Attitude sis? Gosh this girl had been annoying me for months. She's actually one of my friends back then but I don't actually know why is she acting this way.
'You know what Gwen.' I glared at her and stood right next to her
'Why are you making my life as miserable as hell?! ' I yelled at her
'Then why are you blaming me for all the mistakes you've made Angelito?!' she replied
Arrghh! If this human being is not a girl I would probably punch her to death.
'I was here when you need someone to rely on-'
'I never asked anyone to be here with me!'I interrupted her
'Maybe you don't need me at all but' I saw tears rolling down her cheeks. It ached my heart seeing her like that but I just can't stand letting her stay with me.
'Angelito I-I.... need....you' She barely said between her sobs and that's it she left.
Later that day
'Angelito I-I.... need....you'
'EWWWWW! ' OMG I can't believe it! All this time, I didn't even noticed- ewwww! Thinking about her disgust me in every way. So that's it I was left alone. But I think it would be better. I would rather spend my whole life alone, than with someone I love- wait what? Arrghhhh.
A few weeks later
Living my life without her was miser- no what I mean was heaven. I just can't stand being with my first love. Yeah she's my first love but I never had the chance to tell her because she's too perfect for me and later on I just realized that I'm also a lady.
'Baklaaaaa! ' someone yelled at my door
'Stop banging the door you creep! ' I yelled then I found Carla or let me say Carl at my doorstep
'Why the hell are you here? ' I asked
'Baklaaaa, Gwen was in the hospital' he replied
'So what?!'
As if I cared right? I really felt violated for what she did. I mean I'm not that guy just like before who adores her. She was with me and here I am thinking that she was just a caring friend but- Arghhh nevermind!
'Gosh, She needs you bakla but I think you're not the right person she needed. I didn't even know you at all. You just.... changed. BTW in case you would change your mind just call me later' and he left
Ok whatever I...
A few inches later
I just found myself sitting beside her. Yeah whatever I never said I wouldn't come right? Or did I? Argh whatever. I just simply miss her. Gwen and I are really good friends back then. And maybe I was already falling for her, again?
'W-why are y-you here? ' she asked
'We're still friends right, and I just want to-'
*tsup*
OMG! SHE J-JUST K-K-KISSED ME! Arrghh disgusting!
Back to the reality.
So that's it I was here marrying the woman of my dreams. 'Someone needs to have a bad relationship once or twice in his/her life to be thankful for a good one.' Once in my life, I found Troy who was with me at my best. But here I am marrying the woman who loved me at my worst. I once thought that love could mean give until you have nothing left but Gwen made me realize that you should never rip yourself into pieces just to keep others whole.
Yes love can never be defined until you found someone whom you will find the real meaning of it.
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wykart · 5 years
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Does it Matter (It’s Klaus)
Part 2 of Fifty-one years (and one day) later (read on ao3)
Summary: The truth comes out, and Klaus must come to grips with the fact that his entire life of happiness with Dave was taken away by his own brother.
Chapter 9: Like you loved me (chpt. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8)
5 hours,
Now this was high. Everything he’d experienced before, the pills and the drink and the smokes, all knitted into a veil that he pulled over his eyes to obscure the world – this world. His world.
He was floating feet off the ground, arms outstretched, feeling the power of the spirits that walked beside him flow through every tendon. The screams of the living and the dead alike rang in the sky like music. Ben was beside him, finally letting his power take him over – without risk of death this time – and he was free. The monster had a mind of its own, coiling around debris, people, anything it could find. It fed off chaos, just like Klaus did, otherworldly screams muffled from the other side of the portal, beasts struggling through. Every casualty joined his ranks, rising in their fear, confusion, and anguish. Everyone of them only added to the noise, and every one of them took a little piece of him away.
4 hours,
It was far easier to find Klaus this time. They’d eaten some breakfast back at the academy, blissfully unaware of just how far the situation would escalate. Mom had been delighted at the chance to make them blueberry pancakes, and bacon and eggs, all arranged into an inappropriate number of smiley faces for the sombre occasion. The next few hours were relatively uneventful as well. They went back to Vanya’s apartment, just in case he’d returned there in the morning, but no luck. They checked his on-again off-off-again rehab centre, and the local police station (during which the wanted Diego stayed in the car), but still no luck. Luther suggested checking the veteran bar again, even though they’d checked there the previous night – much to the distaste of the owner. The suggestion coincided with a report crackling over Diego’s police attuned radio – some sort of freak accident/potential homicide in that very bar.
As they drove towards the establishment, however, it became clear that the attack had spread beyond the bar.
“Is that –“ Allison muttered.
“Klaus.” Luther finished. He was there, hovering in mid air, arms outstretched and leading a parade of shambling corpses. He radiated blue light, coursing from him in pulses that pushed through the air. There it was again, that feeling from back at the apartment, only so much stronger this time. Sound pressed against their eardrums, forcing the blood to their head and their hands to shake. The three of them staggered out of the car, Luther with his arm around Allison, helping her stand. The buildings alongside the macabre procession were ruined; windows smashed in, brick blown apart, cars crushed and abandoned at the roadside. The living ran and dodged between the rows of dead, or clawed across the rubble-strewn ground, moments away from joining them. Klaus seemed oblivious – in fact, Diego noticed he was wearing headphones and doing a sort of awkward mid–air dance.
“Five was right,” Diego shouted over the noise, “this is fucking apocalyptic!”
“What do we do?” Asked Allison, staggering up beside him.
“We have to try and talk to him, he’ll listen to us, we’re family.” Luther didn’t seem so sure of himself, so much for inspiring leadership.
“Is that…” Allison pointed, seeming to have lost the ability to speak. Sure enough, all three of them turned to see a giant glowing tentacle smash into the side of a building, tearing down half the second floor and pulling it to the ground.
“Ben,” Diego and Luther muttered, watching as their brother, a ghostly spectre, came into view from the other side of the street. His mouth was contorted in pain as the monstrous entities extended from his torso, flailing in the air.
Clearly, someone had tried to stop the procession, as Diego spotted many uniformed officers crushed and splayed on the ground, or else marching along with the others. Diego wondered how many of them he knew.
“Come on!” He yelled, “we have to do something.” The other two nodded, and together, they faced the oncoming hoard with heads held high, approaching their brother as if they’d caught him raiding the liquor cabinet at home rather than raising an army of the dead.
“Hey, Klaus!” Diego yelled, trying to keep his voice level. Klaus whirled around, taking one of the buds out of his ears. He waved excitedly. Diego waved back, nervous, looking sideways at Allison and Luther for support.
Klaus lowered himself so he was floating just a few inches off the ground. The dead continued to wreak havoc, but stopped their advancement up the street. “Oh, hiya Diego,” Klaus grinned, “did you know I can float now?” He did a little twirl in mid-air for emphasis.
“Uhhh, yeah that’s great buddy, why don’t you come on down and we can talk.” He was putting on his police officer voice, diplomatic, stoic, and just a little intimidating.
“Do you want a peanut?” Klaus asked, waving a packet in the air, “they’re salted.”
“I’m alright, thanks,” he tried not to look at the spectres either side of his brother, and the way they were staring at him like they were ready to tear him limb from limb. He took a few cautious steps closer, with the other two following close behind.
“It’s not just floating that’s new I see,” he said, indicating the destruction surrounding them.
“Oh, you noticed,” he sniggered.
“What are you planning on doing with your… friends.”
“Well, funny you should ask, I was just on my way back to the academy to see you guys!” He giggled, waving at Allison, who gave a nervous half-smile back.
“Well, why don’t you stop all this and just come back with us, I think we’ve all got a lot to talk about, and to… apologise for.”
“That’s okay Diego, I didn’t want to talk to you anyway,” his expression darkened suddenly, and he’s eyes gleamed blue, “I just wanna talk to Five.”
“Talk… okay, well, Five thinks you might be out to kill him.”
“Oh, well, I’m out to kill everyone, so tell him he’s nothing special,” he smirked.
“Klaus, you can’t just go around killing people!” Luther yelled. Diego glared at him as if to say I got this, asshole.
“Why not, they like it better,” he whined, “and you will too, I mean look at Ben, he’s having a blast!” He turned and gave Ben a double thumbs up, though he didn’t seem to notice, eyes still glazed over, tentacles tearing through the rubble.
Luther, Diego, and Allison shared a worried look, the two of them nodded at Allison, who raised her voice at Klaus. “I heard a r–“
“Ugh, Allison,” he groaned, as her eyes rolled up into whites and her knees buckled underneath her, “please, for once, just shut up.” Allison cowered on the ground, hands clasping at her ears and shuddering.
Luther bent down by her side. “Allison,” he whispered, urgently, “Allison are you alright.” She didn’t seem to be able to hear him, she looked as if she was about to faint.
Diego took another step towards Klaus, covertly unsheathing one of his knives. He didn’t know what exactly he was hoping to do with it – maybe a good cut would snap Klaus out of this madness. It whistled towards his abdomen, but stopped in mid-air just before it reached his exposed midriff.
“Diego,” Klaus tutted, “bad idea.” The knife spun around in the air and came hurtling back towards him, but he ducked out of the way. Luther stood up, holding the unconscious Allison in his arms, face twisted in anger.
“Get her back to the car!” Diego yelled, at which Luther didn’t have time to argue. He hoisted her up and ran for it. Diego turned back to Klaus, taking a few more cautious steps towards him. “Klaus! Just stop this, I don’t want to fight you, just come back the academy with us, please.”
“She’s angry with you, you know,” he teased, folding his arms.
“What?” He snapped.
“She’s all like arrghh!” He laughed, putting on an animated angry expression. “Why didn’t you pick up the phone, Diego!” A wave of grief came over him, he felt his muscles go slack, his feet rooted to the ground. How did he know? He hadn’t – no, it was impossible. “Seriously bro, the one time she actually wanted to talk to you and you weren’t there.”
“You’d b–better stop talking right now,” he muttered, cold.
“Did you know it’s really Five’s fault she’s dead?” He said, still not listening to him. “Those freaks were only in town because they wanted Five, I mean, they used to be work buddies, and they killed her!”
“Shut up!”
“Just a little something we have in common,” he grinned.
Diego felt tears stinging his eyes, he blinked them away, even as he heard her voice in his head. Why weren’t you there? He saw her face in the dark behind his eyes, rotting flesh, pale eyes, anger. Eudora.
He staggered backwards, and he could hear Klaus laughing. Around him, the dead got to work again, marching onwards, converging on him. Diego scrambled to his feet and ran, the voices still taunting him as if they were his very thoughts. Luther was running up to meet him from the car.
“Go!” He yelled, “go back now, we need to get back to the academy!”
“We can’t just leave him like this,” Luther argued, “he’s tearing the city apart!”
“Yes, we can. Five was right,” he said, regretting every word. He grabbed Luther by the shoulder and attempting to steer him away. “We need to stop him, however we can.”
As they turned to run, Klaus caught sight of the look in their eyes. There was no pity anymore, not a trace of it. Now their eyes were full of fear. It felt so much better.
2 hours,
“I can walk, Luther, okay,” Allison’s voice sounded from outside. Vanya stopped playing and rested her violin down on the seat, rushing out to see if they were okay. Coming out to the entrance hall, she saw Luther with an arm draped around Allison, who was trying to shrug him off, though she did seem a little shaky. Diego was uncharacteristically silent, standing rooted to the spot with a dark expression.
“Guys,” she said, feeling useless, “you’re back.” She looked around hopefully but, of course, Klaus wasn’t with them. “No luck with Klaus then,” she added.
Diego sprang into action, putting on his usual scowl. “Where’s Five,” he muttered, barging past her.
“I – I think he’s still upstairs with Pogo,” she said, knowing he wasn’t really listening. Luther and Allison followed Diego up the stairs, passing Vanya as if she were invisible. It was okay, she was used to it. She followed them up as well, wondering if they’d try and stop her from joining them. She felt like a kid again, left out, practically under house arrest. All these years… and nothing had changed.  
“Shit,” Diego gasped as he pushed open the office door. It creaked as it swung aside to reveal a dismal scene. They didn’t know what they’d expected, leaving Five alone in their dad’s office all day. Maybe something a little better than this. Papers were strewn all over the floor and pinned up haphazardly on the walls, along with a tapestry of equations and notes scrawled in chalk. Five himself was laying face down on their father’s desk, arm dangling over the edge towards his weird half-mannequin propped up against the wood. A litter of empty bottles lay on the floor, as did their father’s journal. If only Reginald could see his precious office now.
“Is he drunk?” Allison asked, stepping gingerly over the piles of papers on the ground.
“I’d say that’s a pretty safe bet,” Diego muttered, striding over to the desk. He prodded Five hard in the back, and he reacted strikingly fast. He gripped Diego’s arm with surprising strength, even as his eyelids fluttered open and he forced out a yawn.
“Five, what do you think you’re doing?” Luther grunted, doing his best to imitate their father’s sharp, cold tone.
“I’m working,” Five murmured, voice groggy as he struggled to a sitting position.
“Oh really? Because you,” Diego snatched his arm out of Five’s back and nudged him, making Five winced, “you look like shit.”
“I can’t believe this,” Allison sighed, sifting through a pile of notes. They were scrawled over in black ink in such detail that the original contents of the papers were illegible. “please tell me you have something.” She was getting desperate, they all were.
“So, I see you’re all alive,” Five drawled, now sitting, legs swinging over the side of the desk. His hair stuck up at odd angles and there were dark circles under his eyes. Somehow, he looked even worse than when they’d left him on the hospital bed this morning. “I’ll admit, I didn’t expect that.”
“Okay,” Diego sighed, barging past them and slumping back in the over-sized office chair. “I admit it, you were right.”
“Just be thankful you aren’t dead,” Five muttered, snatching the notes that Allison was holding and pressing the paper up to his eyes intently. “Actually,” he said, not taking his eyes off the page, “right about which part?”
“Well, Klaus can’t be reasoned with, and he seemed pretty intent on killing everyone too,” Luther grumbled. He looked like he was going to be sick, and it was true – none of them could really believe it.
“And how much have things progressed,” Five asked, though he didn’t really seem to be listening.
“Well let’s see,” Allison said, mockingly, “he’s floating down the street with an army of the dead and he’s tearing the city apart, I’d say they’ve progressed pretty far.” It was rare for Allison to lose her tempter. Her legs still quivered underneath her, and she was shaken by the whole ordeal.
“Shit,” Vanya muttered, “he really is going to cause the apocalypse.” A horrible part of her felt relieved that it wasn’t her, that they’d been wrong about her.
“No, it still doesn’t make sense,” Five muttered, flicking through the nonsensical pages in front of him.
“Okay,” Diego snapped as he snatched the pages from his hands and forced Five to look him in the eyes. Five scowled. “You’re the one who’s not making sense, can you help him or not?”
“As I’m sure you’ve discovered for yourself, this isn’t about helping him,” he sighed, defeated, “not anymore.”
“So what are you saying,” asked Luther, “it’s too late?”
Five looked lost, sitting there dishevelled on the desk, looking between each of them. He shook his head, training his eyes on his shoes as they swung absent-mindedly beneath him. “I don’t know,” he said in a small voice, lip quivering just minutely enough that the others didn’t notice. “I think so.”
“But there has to be some other–“
“I’ve looked, okay,” he snapped, “I’ve tried, but there’s nothing. I don’t think dad ever realised how powerful Klaus was, I don’t think he ever really cared. Klaus was a lost cause to him, there’s preliminary research up until Klaus was about twelve, but then it just stops, no more progress.” He pressed his palms to his eyes, wiping away the sweat pooling on his forehead. “If I just had more time, maybe I could crack it. I mean, alternate dimensions, this is my bread and fucking butter, but this is, I mean, we’re talking about the dead!” He slumped over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “We’re all fucked,” he finished, barely over a whisper.
Luther, Diego, and Allison exchanged a worried glance. “So what you’re saying is you have nothing,” Allison sighed.
“So we have to stop him, right? Whatever means necessary,” Luther asked, dejected.
“Which would be all well and good if we had the means. Pogo was saying something about Klaus ‘going over the edge’ he’s like a medium between life and death, and if we could just bring him back over, just for a moment, then he might be… well, we could kill him.”
“But we won’t, right?” Allison asked. To no response she cried, more urgently, “right?”
“This is the fate of the world, Allison,” Luther grumbled.
“Don’t give me that crap!”
“Well it doesn’t matter either way,” Five snarked, “because I have no idea how to do that.” The room was left in pensive silence, of which Vanya took advantage.
“Guys, I, err, I really have to get going,” she broached.
“What for?” Five asked, still staring up at the ceiling, still not listening.
“My concert's in a couple of hours, I’m already late, actually, but I wanted to stay as long as I could and make sure everyone got back safe.”
“Klaus is tearing the city apart you can’t just go play in a concert,” said Diego, rolling his eyes. He didn’t think she was capable of understanding the danger, typical Vanya, she never understood anything.
“He’s right, Vanya, you’re staying here,” Five agreed. She supposed he was right, but couldn’t help but feel as if her siblings were stealing this moment away from her. She’d thought that maybe this would finally be her chance to be in the limelight, then Klaus had decided to end the world. No, that wasn’t fair… she knew how it felt, for that power to take you over, even if she’d only experienced it for a brief moment.
“What are we going to do?” Allison asked, more to herself than any of the others. “There has to be some sort of limit to what he can do, right? Do you really think he could keep this up across the whole world?”
“He keeps bringing forth spirits, which strengthens his connection to them, which brings forth more spirits” Five mused “– bit of a destructive spiral really, something I’m sure Klaus knows a thing or two about.”
“Does he even know what he’s doing?” Luther asked sombre.
“He sure seemed to,” Diego shrugged, “he was still himself, it was freaky.”
“What did he say to you?” Asked Five, “any sort of plan?”
“Well yeah,” Diego said, “he said he wanted to kill everyone, and he’s coming here to the academy, that’s the gist of it anyway.”
“Okay, so it’s decided, you all go someplace safe. He’s coming here, but I’m the one he wants. Once he has me maybe he’ll –“
“Woah, woah,” Allison exclaimed, “that’s so not happening.”
“I mean I don’t see why not,” Diego shrugged, “Five is the one that started this mess.”
“He’s our brother, we’re not just going to let Klaus kill him!” Luther snapped.
Suddenly the room was alive with the sound of their voices, bickering and pointing fingers with animated expressions. Vanya was still standing in the doorway. They kept on arguing. They all kept talking and didn’t even notice her, they never really did.
“Can you please just let me talk to him,” she said, hoping that one of them would care, or at least hear her. She was used to being shoved to the side, and now, when she was supposedly the most powerful of them all, it was still happening. She wasn’t their pitifully ordinary, meek little sister anymore, it was worse, because they were scared, treating her like a fragile little thing – especially Five.
She sighed, drawing back into herself, stepping away from the crowd and towards the door. She wondered if any of them would actually notice if she left. There was faint knock that sounded from downstairs – the front door. The others didn’t noticed. She listened closer, and there is was again, a knock that stood out against the timbre of their arguing voices. “I’ll just get that,” she mumbled, too quiet for them to hear. She stepped out of the office.
Walking down the stairwell, a muffled voice sounded from the other side of the doors to the academy. “Hey, guys?” It was Klaus. He sounded like himself, voice small and lost, calling out to them. According to the others, he was tearing buildings apart, so clearly a door couldn’t stop him.
“Klaus?” She called, cautious, as she walked down the stairs. This was the perfect opportunity to talk to him, actually talk. She knew she could get through to him, so much of what they’d suffered through was the same. Upstairs, the others were plotting ways to kill him, but what if it had been her? If she was the one causing all this instead, like Five had said, would they have found it so easy to kill her too?
1 hour
“Knock knock,” Klaus cooed, from the other side of the door. He still sounded so… normal. Nevertheless, she was wary as she approached the him.
“Hey there, Klaus,” she said, opening the door for him. It was an unnecessary courtesy, if Five was to be believed, but she did it all the same. It seemed ludicrous, her casual tone – trying to act so calm as her heart beat double in her chest. It felt so strange, was she actually scared of him? She pulled the door open to find him standing there – rooted to the spot, not hovering like a maniac as the others had recounted. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, seeming sheepish and restless. He earphones spilled out of his shirt collar, a tattered military vest pulled over the top. So it was true, he really had traveled back in time. She gave him a welcoming smile.
“Hey sis,” he smirked. This time when he spoke, his voice was layered, ringing true with a thousand others. They made her ears sting. He dashed past her, letting the door shut behind him. Wandering out into the centre of the entrance hall, he stuck his hands in the pockets of his vest, rocking backwards on his heels. She noticed a faint blue glow emanating from them.
“I have to try, okay! I can’t just stand by and let this – wait,” Five’s eyes darted around the room, “where’s Vanya?” As soon as the words left his mouth, the door of the office swung shut, and the locks clicked. “Shit,” he hissed, “Luther, do you think you could… Luther?” Large hands clamped down on Five’s shoulders and, before he could jump away, he felt that wave of nausea overcome him again, voices muttering like static in the back of his mind, chest tight, that feeling like he was falling.
“Luther, what the fuck!” Diego spat, shoving into Luther as he tried to hold the struggling Five in place. He might as well have shoved against a tree, and when Luther threw a punch back, Diego slammed against the wall with a deafening crack.
Five threw himself against the door, much to the protest of his recovering body. Luther grabbed him again and held him in place. Five knew if he turned he’d see blue eyes staring back. “Get him off me!” He cried, but as he craned his neck around he saw Allison standing there, bodies stiff and muscles shaking, eyes filled with that blue light. Klaus was holding them all at once, stopping them from intervening – but with what?
Five kicked against Luther’s grip, trying to bite at his arms through the thick material of his trench coat. “Vanya!” He screamed, over and over, but she couldn’t hear. “Vanya, come back, please come back!”
“What’re you up to?” She asked, still going for the casual approach. She felt pathetic, in a way the almost made her laugh at the absurdity of it all.
“Oh, nothing much,” he grinned, “I just came to pay the old family a visit.” Vanya forced a smile back, giggling nervously. Klaus’ expression darkened, and she felt his eyes on her, staring right through. “Where’s Five?” He asked, feigning innocence. His playful tone sent a cold shiver through her. It was they same tone he used when he’d use when they were kids, cracking jokes to take the edge off their cold, secluded childhood. “I need to talk to him.”
Vanya backed away. “H-he’s not here right now.”
“Aww, come on Van, I know you’re lying,” he teased, pouting comically, “if you’d just tell me you could save yourself a whole lotta trouble,” he smirked, almost sweetly.
“Listen, I–I know what you did to him, you hurt him Klaus-“
He cut her off. She could barely stand she was shaking so much. Was it really all nerves – or was it him? “Well, do you know what he did?” His voice was sharp, cutting through the eerie texture, the stolen voices, the whispers that followed every world. It was his own voice, Klaus, breaking through the din, cracked with emotion. Of course she knew, and she didn’t know what to say. He noticed her pointed silence, and broke a smile. “Oh Vanya, I know this is hard for you. You and Five were always so close, you’ve spent over sixteen years missing him and now he’s finally back – but you’re blind,” he drawled, mouth drawn tight into a hard line. “You can’t see what he’s become, none of you can. He might look like the same little innocent, insufferable kid, but he’s not. Our brother died when he ran away that day, he’s a cold-blooded killer, and he doesn’t care about us – care about you – at all.”
“Is that what you tell yourself, that he’s not our brother.” She spoke up, mustering all her courage. “Is that how you’re bringing yourself to hurt him?” He was silent for a moment, and the way he was looking down at his bare feet on the marble floors, he almost looked remorseful. “Look, I understand how you’re feeling right now,” she ventured, “I know it’s gonna sound crazy, but I have power too, so much, in fact, that Dad gave me those pills to get rid of them. It’s scary when you…” she cast her mind back to that night in the parking lot, the way it had surged out of her, the fear in the men’s eyes as they’d been thrown back to their deaths. “when you feel that power inside you, when you can’t hold it back.” He looked at her, looked like he might actually be listening. “I’m just trying to say that… you don’t have to do this. We can help each other.”
He gave her a sad half-smile. “You can’t help me.”
“No, Klaus,” she said, moving towards him, eyes full of sympathy. Klaus say differently. He saw pity. He didn’t want their fucking pity. “I understand.” But she didn’t.
There was a dangerous glint in his eyes, a hint of the blue fire that her brother had warned her about. He took a step towards her, focusing on her. Voices were whispering, coming from inside her head. She blinked, reaching her hands up to her ears in confusion. Klaus smiled. “But you can still feel it, can’t you? Someone waiting inside, waiting to come out. All she needs is a little music.”
“Klaus,” she spluttered, as the whispers turned to screams. He clasped her head, tears brimming in her eyes. “Please don’t, please don’t” she murmured, but he just kept on smiling.
“You’re just like me Vanya,” he put a hand on her shoulder, and the noise was magnified tenfold. “You use those pills to keep it all pushed down, because it scares you, what you can do, but you don’t have to be scared anymore.” She felt something stirring, as her ears throbbed and thrummed. There were faces behind her eyes, but she could barely make out the words they were screaming, there were too many. “Dad tried to keep us shut away, tried to use us, but we’re capable of so much more.”
“Please stop…”
“And Ben,”
“Please, please…”
“He was too, and it killed him, it tore him apart. We were meant for more than this, Vanya,” he pressed his forehead to her own, and the sound felt like a knife cutting through her head. It was drowning her, but she didn’t feel that spark, that rising power. Her medication was keeping it down, despite the overwhelming noise, it wasn’t enough. Klaus shuddered, tears spilling over. “It’s not working,” he mumbled, bringing his hand off her shoulder, fingers quivering. “All that power, it’s trapped.” It was as if he grieved for it. Vanya collapsed to the floor, head in her hands, his hold over her finally relinquished. “You don’t understand,” he hissed, “I need it, I need it!” He cried, reaching up his trembling fingers to the sides of his skull, clawing at his hair, pressing his eyes shut. He looked like he used to on those nights when the ghosts were at their worst – curled up against the wall, muttering to himself, lost to reality. “Come on Vanya,” he sobbed, “help me, help me…”
“No, Klaus,” she wiped away blood from her nose, scrambling to her feet. “You need help! You’re right, Ben had power, just like us, and it killed him. It’s killing you now, it’s destroying everything, can’t you see that!”
“I thought you would understand, Vanya, this power… I can’t stop it, I can’t.” He panted, stumbling forwards. “No, no I need to do it, they need me to do it.”
“What if he could see you now – Ben,” she cried. They’d always been so close, Ben by his side, comforting him. “What do you think he’d say, seeing you like this?”
It was back, that faint bluish glow, his eyes glazed with death. “Funny you should ask about him, little sister,” he grinned. She stepped back as he rose from the ground. He hovered a few inches above it, curls twisting in still air.
Her voice trembled as she spoke, such a trivial thing, but it came out almost automatically. “We’re the same age.”
“Oh Vanya,” he pouted, shaking his head “you’re all little to me.” His eyes flared bright blue, and Vanya watched as a figure solidified beside him – from a blueish glow to flesh and dark fabric. He was there, as if he’d never left, as if he’d grown up with them all this time. Ben.
He ran towards her, grabbing her by the shoulders, urgency sown into his face, the face she’d been missing for thirteen years, her closest friend. “Vanya!” He cried, “Run, you have to run, okay?”
She barely registered what he was saying, just stared with wide eyes. “B–Ben.” She stuttered, voice quivering.
He shook her, “Please! Just go, he’s going to make me –“ He stopped short, spine wrenched straight, neck pulled up. He let go of Vanya and she stumbled backwards to the foot of the stairs. Light pulsed in his eyes, taking over.
All the while, he struggled, screaming. “Klaus! Klaus you can’t, please don’t make me, don’t make me…” his voice trailed off and his face went slack. The blue fire that was left behind couldn’t see, it didn’t care.
“I’m sorry,” Klaus shuddered, he was puzzling something over, battling with himself behind those dead eyes. “I need you to help me, but it’s gonna be okay,” he nodded, trying to convince himself, “it’s all gonna be okay.” He clasped his eyes shut and tensed his arms, the faint blue glow that swam around his hands strengthened to spotlights, and Ben arched back, opening his jacket, opening the portal.
Vanya realised too late what he was doing, mostly because it was so difficult to believe. The tentacles surged out, a roar sounding from somewhere beyond this world, deafening. He turned clumsily and clambered up the stairs, but in moments one of them swept her legs out from under her, and she fell hard against the floor. Her head throbbed and her vision blurred and one of them wrapped around her stomach, hoisting her up. Another slung itself around her neck, squeezing. She was only suspended there for a moment, just long enough to see him standing there, Klaus. Tears were streaming down his cheeks.
“K–Klaus,” she choked, as the tentacle tightened around her windpipe, winding back, tensing. It twisted suddenly, pulling her head around in a swift motion. Her neck snapped. She only felt it for a second, the bone popping out against the skin of her neck, and the stain of mottled blue on her retinas as she looked down into those terrible eyes.
Ben watched from behind dead eyes, and when Klaus relinquished his control, he ran to her side. “Vanya, oh god, oh god,” he sobbed, kneeling down beside her. “Vanya I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he scooped her up in his arms. She was so small, already growing so cold.
“Don’t be sad, Ben,” Klaus said from behind him, putting on a cheerful tone. “She’s just like you now, she can help us.” Klaus reached out to touch his brother’s shoulder, but Ben shrugged away, body wracked with sobs. He couldn’t get the words out, he could only hold her. He was scared, of Klaus, of himself, of what he would make him do to the others. Klaus stepped back, hurt. “Let’s go,” he muttered, and, with a jerk of his hand, Ben stood up, fading back into that blue light, falling in line.
Another figure stepped out of the air, eyes resting on her crumpled form at the foot of the stairs only for a moment. Ben stood at Klaus’ side and Vanya at the other, made of that same light. Her eyes were white, radiating power, her face contorted in anger.
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caroline18mars · 5 years
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A Man On Fire - Chapter 28
The party seemed to go on forever and the alcohol was flowing abundantly, but Harper was ready to call it a day, not even the dancefloor could lure her back, and if she had to do one more round of shots with the crew she was gonna throw up. “And where do you think you're going?” Jared's sweaty arms folded around her waist, that dancefloor was on fire and so was he, he was still on his post-concert high, the lights were dancing around him, the music was still as loud as on stage and he simply didn't want to come down. “Back to the hotel, I'm tired” she turned in his arms, zipping up her handbag, “oh..ok, I'll come with you” he seemed genuinely dissapointed, “no, it's alright, I'm gonna get a cab, you stay here and keep on dancing, you're better at that than I thought, you've got some amazing moves going on there, floppy hair” she smiled her goodnight kiss against his lips. “You absolutely sure?” such a nice change from all the other women, no nagging, no arguments, no trying to convince him to come along, just a warm smile and a fiery kiss and a lot of trust, how did he deserve such a woman?. “Positive! I just need to go lie down and I'll be right as rain, I was thinking to go check out a museum tomorrow morning, so maybe it's best if I stay in my own room so I don't wake you”, what? No!. “Oh no you don't! I want you in my bed when I get back, we'll make it a morning, breakfast, museum, coffee..hot, rampant sex” he wiggled his eyebrows in a silly attempt to make her laugh. Mission accomplished “oohhhh, sold! Now go have some more fun and I'll go rub some ointment on my butt, knowing you, I'll need it” she giggled “because apart from your hair, there's nothing floppy about you” another kiss, a lick of her tongue against his and off she went, her thick, long pony tail dancing on her back to the rhythm of the music. 
Ooohhh cold, she quickly pulled up the cap of her hoodie, cabs at this time of night? Ughh, see that was one reason why she missed New York, everything was available almost 24/7, wolf whistles from a bunch of guys hanging around doing some dope on the corner of the street, ok ignore them, it's gonna be ok, why do guys want to scare the living daylights out of girls that way?. “Harper? Wait up” a familiar voice made her turn around, “Sean..” oh please no more arguments, no more bitching, “heading back to the hotel?” he came running up to her, “yeah, I was just looking for a cab, is it urgent?” she folded her arms over her chest, strange how defensive she acted around him these days, when they had been so close. “I've got a car parked around the corner, I can take you if you want” Sean took a deep breath, wait, was he as nervous and uncomfortable as she was? “Ok..yeah sure” whatever, it was better than a cab right now. “This is me” he held open the passenger's door for her “just like the old days in NY” he let her get in and then quickly circled the car to get behind the wheel and steered the car into the night. “I was kinda hoping we could talk..” even in the dark she could see the nervousness on his face, “I don't know, Sean, I don't want any more trouble with Shayla, is this a trap or something? I mean, has she put you up to this so she can blame me for everything that is obviously wrong in her life and needs a scapegoat for?” Harper sighed as she looked out the side window. “No..this is only my idea..Shayla's got nothing to do with this..I don't even think she knows I left, I told her I was going to a pub with the boys, I don't think she heard me as she was too busy winding some guy around her little finger at that party” wait, and he didn't sound dissapointed or hurt by that at all?. “Ahh, I see, lying and mistrust, the most wonderful qualities of a healthy and loving relationship” Harper sarcastically hissed, thank god she and Jared didn't have to do that.
”Can I come up?” Ugh that hopeful glint in his eye, what the hell was wrong with you, Sean? “you've been waiting to talk to me all this ride down here? You're putting me in a bit of a pickle, Sean, I mean I'm not in the mood for a drink, my back is killing me and I was kinda hoping on a bit of lay down” she was torn, but he had time and opportunity enough to talk to her. “Oh ok..” no, not the puppy eyes, no, come on, don't do this, don't look genuinely sad, arrghh, dammit!, “Ok then,fine, you can come up to my room, but 10 minutes alright?” she opened the door and ran up the hotel steps while Sean handed his keys to the valet. “You wanted to talk, so talk” Harper closed the door behind Sean on his way inside her room, they had been friends for so long and yet this time it just didn’t feel ok to let him in or even be around him, not after the ‘barge-right-into-my-bathroom-while-I’m-naked-and-you-know-it’ incident. But he had been her friend, you know? and friends..well you simply did everything to help them out, especially when they were at their lowest, like he somehow seemed to be right now, just don’t make me regret this, Sean, please?!. Sean sat down on the couch and fidgeted with the on-off button of the lamp on the dresser next to it “Alright..well..I don’t know, I guess it’s kinda difficult when you put me on the spot like that” he nervously grinned at her, oh god come on Sean, say what you have to say, she’ll understand, she always does. “Out with it, Sean, I’m tired, or was this just another one of your excuses to just bug me? as far as I can remember I’ve never put you on the spot, unlike you remember? just don’t tell me this is one of your devious plans and Shayla is gonna come knocking again and this whole good Samaritan act is gonna blow up in my face?” Harper took off her hoodie, feeling his eyes on that piece of naked stomach that was revealed, she quickly pulled down her T-shirt she wore underneath the hoodie, bad frikkin idea, Coco, bad idea!. 
“What? No! no of course not!” he turned bright red as his eyes caught hers “look Harper, I..” he swallowed hard and broke eyecontact “I don’t want us to fight anymore, I hate the way things are going between us lately, I mean, ever since you and Jared..”. What? Whooaaaa “Hold it right there, Sean, don’t make this about Jared, alright? he’s got nothing to do with all that has happened, we fell in love, alright?” she cut him right off, don’t you fucking dare to give someone completely innocent the blame for all you and Cruella have done, “I’m not, what I’m trying to say, badly, is that we’ve been fighting ever since you and Jared became an item..that’s all..and..I..I..” he stopped abruptly and closed his eyes, biting his lip ever so nervously. “I think you’ve got your timeframe wrong, sweetheart, the real issue started when you snuck up on me in the bathroom, remember? that was way before Jared and I became an item, and for the record, it was Shayla who went absolutely nuts and accused me, while we both know I did nothing to provoke anyone, so before you go accusing anyone, get your facts straight” don’t get angry Coco, don’t let him get to you, is there actually a reason why he is still here?. Sean seemed to crumble there and then, he leaned forward and covered his face with his hands, wait..was he..? no, don’t cry, come on, no..she stood there all helpless, not knowing what to do all of a sudden, she sat down next to him, she couldn’t stand tears, she wanted to give in to the urge of throwing her arms around him, but she decided not to. “Hey..what’s wrong?” ok he was crying and she had never seen him cry before so she put her hand on his back and slowly caressed it “Sean, come on, I’m not psychic, so I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong?” don’t forget his foul play, Coco, oh fuck that, he was genuinely hurting. “You wanna know what’s wrong with me?” he suddenly put his hands down again and let his watery eyes connect with hers, “well yes, I do, I mean we’ve been friends for such a long time and it pains me to see you this way” she ruffled her hand through his hair in some silly attempt to comfort him, “ok, I’ll tell you what’s wrong! I’m in love” he broke the eyecontact once again and wrung his hands. “Duh, of course you are, you’re in love with Shayla, that’s a good thing, right?” she rolled her eyes at him, no that wasn’t a good thing, how he could fall for such a conniving brat was beyond her, but hey it was his life, and it was none of her business. “No, that’s not a good thing, it’s not good at all, it’s beyond fucked up” he sighed like he was about to lose his patience with her, “fucked up? Wait, have you? did you..don’t tell me you have fallen in love with someone else?” oh for crying out loud, Sean, get yourself into trouble much?. 
He bit his lip and nodded “yeah..I have”, oh no don’t tell me this, tell Shayla, I so do not want to get in the middle of this, but he broke her naïve bubble immediately “I’m in love..with you, Harper..”, HUH? What did you just say? No, this wasn’t happening, he did not just say what he said. “I fell in love with you the first time I came knocking on your door when you first moved into the building in NY, I tried to play it cool with you all this time, I really did, but I can’t keep the truth from you any longer, seeing you with Jared..it’s just..I” he paused when she shot up from the couch like she had been stung by a bee “This isn’t happening, this isn’t fuckin’ happening” where were those hidden cameras? Because she sure felt like this was all one big, very bad joke. “You’re probably drunk or high, I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re gonna regret this in the morning, Sean, and I want you to leave right now, if this is another one of your sick jokes, then I don’t want to hear about it..” she kept shaking her head at him, and stepped away from the couch. “It’s not a joke, Harper, believe me, I fell in love with you, it’s not like I planned it or anything..I mean, you and I, we were thick as thieves, the reason I actually left NY and you behind was to put some distance between you and my feelings for you, unrequited love is a real bitch, Harper..and I thought I was being smart throwing myself in a relationship with the first girl that came along just to forget about you, but I was being a total dumbass because I don’t feel anything for Shayla..I never did, I just thought that if I kept telling myself that I was in love with her then it was gonna make me forget about you, but I was lying to myself and her all along..and then you showed up here and disappeared and came back..in a relationship with Jared all of a sudden..you’re nothing but a casual fuck to him, why can’t you see that? I just don’t want to see you hurt, Harper, you’ve gotta believe me” he got up too and stepped up to her “Harper, please..say something” he touched her upper arm. “Don’t touch me” she jumped back, “what do you expect me to say, Sean? I’m in love with Jared, very much so in fact, and he is in love with me..” tears of frustration were bubbling up in her eyes now as well, don’t..don’t give him the goddamn satisfaction “you keep going on and on about how I’m just a casual fuck to him, well you know what? it’s none of your business, Sean, if he’s only in this for sex then so be it, but I’m not gonna anticipate on the worst case scenario any longer, I won’t, I won’t throw away the little I have with him because you tell me so or you don’t like it, you don’t even have that right! no..no way, I’m not in love with you, Sean”
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