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#artemis fowl

Fowl fam, send your Holly energy my way please. I’ve had my sixty seconds of crying (rather more, to be honest), I’ve had my little breakdown, now I gotta pull myself together and get on with things.

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I didn't do anything!!!
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À droit, À gauche - Chapter 1 - mentosmorii - Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer [Archive of Our Own]
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M̷̦͙̘̒ͅę̶͔̤̘̑̽̎͝m̵͓̞̀ȩ̴̥̞͐͂̍n̵̗̱̞͒̃ţ̴̧̥̩̀̽o̴̢͉̾̊ ̴͙͖͎̀͌͘M̴̯̣̀́̂͝ͅo̵̽͜r̷̖͖͎͊̂͜͝i̶̢̞̦̒͜i̸̡̮̳̜͝

Get out of my head.

Here, have a Angst™ Artemis and Orion

(Yo! I’m also @coffeefartsyeah. If you noticed why did I have new blog, the explanation can be seen here.)

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Oh I love this ask. (Apologies for how long it took to answer- it’s been a busy day!)

So, to start- as you can probably tell from my most recent fic, I imagine Artemis has a… tense relationship with his birthday, due to his parents’ neglect and alcohol consumption. Most likely, by the time he and Alex are close, Artemis is hardly celebrating at all, save for small celebrations with the Butlers- and even then, he likely forces his smile. It’s just a bitter, bitter day for him.

Alex, of course, doesn’t want Artemis to loathe his own birthday, but doesn’t want to force Artemis to relive something painful just for the sake of a fun celebration- so Artemis’s birthday is celebrated simply and quietly. More often than not, a simple evening at home with some nice food (I like to think Alex can cook well when he wants to), something fun to watch, the two just enjoying being together. Alex isn’t much of a gift giver, but he knows how much Artemis likes jewelry, so he’ll find him something nice- he’s responsible for most of Artemis’s jewelry, actually.

As for Alex’s birthday, more often than not, Artemis tries to take Alex somewhere fun- they’ve been to several musicals, various tourist destinations worldwide- on one notable instance, they went to Haven for a production of Artemis Fowl. He just doesn’t really know how not to celebrate big, save for not celebrating at all.

However, unlike Alex, Artemis’s talent lies in gift-giving- or in this case, making gifts. He loves to gift things- after a childhood spent learning the art of taking, Artemis devoted his time to master the art of giving instead. He’s learned some goldsmithing in order to make jewelry, though Alex’s favorite gift by far is a personalized music box, small enough to fit in one hand, that Artemis crafted for him. It plays one of his own compositions- Alex takes it with him sometimes, if he’ll be gone for a while, because it reminds him of Artemis.

(Also, taking this headcanon from @pokegeek151 : Alex does find out about Artemis’s habit of drinking alone on his birthday, and he does his best to put a stop to it, because he knows Artemis deserved better then and he deserves better now.)

Keep reading

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As of this moment, I don’t!

I plan on making one soon, though (if I want to write that Royalty AU fic, I have no other option, tbh). I’m just waiting until I’m a little less busy so I can get it organized nicely.

That’s really sweet of you, though- I really love what you wrote! Your writing is so nice!

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This is about as obscure as it gets, but I still find it hilarious that all four of Artemis’s first year teachers almost instantly knew that this kid was beyond their teaching and were just like, “yeah you can go to the library during class”, or “I see no problem with him trying to create a time machine during class because, quite frankly, he’ll probably succeed”. I assume this was the only way to avoid Artemis’s wrath- a smart move, tbh.

I’m also very fond of Opal’s two pixie henchmen, the twins. They were pretty funny.

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do y’all know that post that’s like

Child: ‘I’m experiencing Symptoms so I think I have Disorder’

Parent (who experiences those same exact Symptoms and that exact Disorder): ‘no you don’t those are normal things that everyone does’

yeah idk how because my brain is tired but I feel like this could apply to Artemis and Angeline… i might be completely wrong but I’m just. Thinking. (ok I ended up writing a lot more than I thought I was going to)

- Thinking about mental health being an obviously uncomfortable topic in the Fowl family (Angeline sent Artemis to a psychiatrist but I get the vibes that she thought that would make his mental health someone else’s responsibility),

- and how if a parent isn’t willing to talk about their own experience with mental illness their kid is probably gonna feel like they’re all alone in their struggle and like something’s wrong with them for having that struggle in the first place,

- and how Angeline is self-aware enough to earn a phd in psychology explicitly because of her episode in book 1

- and how Artemis was probably genetically predisposed to experiencing mental illness like the atlantis complex, and even if he isn’t,

- if Angeline had taken some time to talk to him about her mental health problems and expressed regret that she hadn’t sought more robust psychiatric treatment, he might have been more open to seeking treatment for himself before his symptoms got worse

Yeah idk I might be completely wrong but I just. Have a lot of thoughts about Angeline Fowl. And wow this really was just a stream of consciousness, and didn’t actually connect to the first bit, but uh. Feel free to add on if you want lol

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hi fowldom. I considered putting this guy on the main post I made a week ago, you know, the one about ocs, but then again, I think this funky little guy deserves to be in the main tag. Cool and fun info about him is under the cut.

Keep reading

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Okay so- as far as I’m aware, there are not many, and I’ve only read three so far (all fantastic)- I’ll list the three I’ve read, just in case you haven’t read them:

Dead Man’s Party by @thealphaaxolotl : This is the one that got me hooked on Alexmis and frankly, I regret nothing. Strong plot, love the action, and I love the quiet moments of calm the two share between points of chaos.

Bridges by @a-c-u-l-o-s : A fantastic fic in every regard, I love Alex and Artemis’s banter. Alex slowly trying to chip away at Artemis’s cold demeanor is equal parts hilarious and admirable. A great read that I can’t wait to finish.

London’s Burning by @mentosmorii : Charming and fun- this one made me smile. Who doesn’t love a good art heist?

I am also aware of another fic by @mentosmorii called I have loved the stars too fondly , though I haven’t read this one yet- I’ll link it anyways, as anything by Zoe is bound to be good.

As for myself, I haven’t written any fic for them- yet. I want to, and I plan to very soon, if I can come up with some ideas.

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@fowlblue This is your fault (based on this)

(Read it on AO3!)

Artemis did not have a good track record when it came to birthdays. His parents had always cared more about them than he did, and the combination of time skipping, cloning, and the monotony of encroaching adulthood made keeping track of his birthdays a tedious process. He had a tradition to uphold, though, which was how he ended up sprawled in an armchair in his flat, just over halfway through a bottle of expensive red wine as the clock inched towards four in the morning on September 1st. 

Keep reading

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I used a fashionable grandma for Artemis’s pose. I think it fits. But I may have strayed to newsie.

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I’m not sure- I haven’t heard of that series before. My experience with the horror genre is pretty limited, I’m afraid.

A crossover between AF and any survival horror game would be pretty interesting, though!

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<div> —  The Opal Deception, Eoin Colfer </div><span>I didn’t trust Fowl when he was alive, and I definitely don’t trust him now that he’s dead.</span>
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Could you please not Artemis this into a worse situation than it already is?
Hold on, did you just use my name as a verb?
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My ridiculous fandoms:

I know, multifandom much?!

I have a LOT, although I will post mostly AoS shit. Up to know I’ve put them all up in my bio, but I’ve decided only to do the top, say, three, otherwise it just gets too long. However, I’m putting it all here, so that anyone, if they feel so inclined, can see what shit I’m interested in. 

I will also be putting a bunch of my favourite quotes from the shows there, because I’m a total nerd xD. 

  • Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
  1. ”With great responsibility comes…a ton of weird shit you are not prepared to deal with.”
  2. “The steps you take don’t have to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction.”
  3. “Sometimes, making a difference means being different.”
  • Simon Snow series
  1. “You were the sun, and I was crashing into you.”
  2. “Sharing a room with the person you want most is like sharing a room with an open fire.
    He’s constantly drawing you in. And you’re constantly stepping too close. And you know it’s not good–that there is no good–that there’s absolutely nothing that can ever come of it.
    But you do it anyway.
    And then…
    Well. Then you burn.”
  3. “I’d cross every line for him. I’m in love with him. And he likes this better than fighting.”
  • Avatar the Last Airbender
  1. “Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not.”
  2. “My first girlfriend turned into the moon.” “That’s rough buddy.”
  3. “Why am I so bad at being good?”
  • Harry Potter
  1. “It’s leviOsa, not levioSA!” 
  2. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”
  3. “Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.”

  • The Queen’s Gambit
  1. “I Would Say It Is Much Easier To Play Chess Without The Burden Of An Adam’s Apple.”
  2. “I’m Not Your Guardian Angel. I’m Not Here To Save You. Hell, I Can Barely Save Me.”
  3. “Again?”
  • Once Upon A Time
  1. “That’s How You Know You’ve Really Got A Home. ‘Cause When You Leave It …There’s This Feeling You Can’t Shake. You Just Miss It.”
  2. “Sometimes The Best Teacup Is Chipped.”
  3. “All Magic Comes With A Price.”
  • The Good Place
  1. “I’m just not a ‘new experience’ kind of guy. My comfort zone is basically like, that chair, and honestly? The arms are a little sharp.” 
  2. “What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters is, if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday. You asked me where my hope comes from? That’s my answer.”
  3. “We do nothing. We hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.”
  • Community
  1. “We’ll definitely be back next year. If not, it’ll be because an asteroid has destroyed all human civilization. And that’s canon.”
  3. “Our Captain was killed on duty tonight. Leaves behind two kids and a pregnant wife. So you’re missing a Batman DVD?”
  • Zoey’s Extraoridnary Playlist
  1. “Who wants some freshly delivered, slightly cold, mediocre pizza?” 
  2. “Songs are all just an expression of our deepest wants and desires… Joy, pain, heartbreak, yearning, forgiveness, revenge. Good music can make you feel things you can’t express in words.”
  3. “I just found out a guy I like is engaged, and I am either going totally nuts, or I suddenly can hear people’s innermost thoughts as big musical numbers.”
  • The Old Gaurd
  1. “Depends on the century.”
  2. “You’re an incurable romantic…”
  • Merlin (BBC)
  1. “Merlin should take some of the credit, turns out he’s not always entirely stupid.” 
  2. “Are you saying I’m fat?” -Arthur | “No, I’m saying the belt is one hole shy away from perfection.”
  • Artemis Fowl
  1. “I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.” 
  2. “We lost the crickets,” she said. “Even you can’t make that sound tough.”
  3. “I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”

  • How To Train Your Dragon
  1. “ Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile!”
  2. “You just gestured to all of me.”
  3. “Toothless, what are you doing? We need her to LIKE us!”
  • The Dragon Prince
  1. “I’m just a kid. I haven’t fought in any battles. I haven’t read many books of wisdom. I haven’t gone through the things that made my father the king he was. So I’ve decided that I don’t have to be the king my father was. My father made choices to keep fighting battles that started hundreds of years before he was born. To punish enemies for crimes their parents committed! I don’t want to be that kind of king.” 
  2. “The dragon prince is alive! And he’s really cute, by the way.”
  3. “What? WHAAAAAAAT!”
  • The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
  1. “Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”  
  2. “A towel, [The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”
  3. “For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”
  4. “The Answer to the Great Question… Of Life, the Universe and Everything… Is… Forty-two,’ said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.”
  5. “Ford… you’re turning into a penguin. Stop it.”

sorry for the five I couldn’t choose only 3

But there you have it, my insane, ridiculous, way-too-many fandoms. For anyone who cares. 

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