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#arthur pendragon fanfic
locke-writes · 1 year
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Drifting Through the Doubt
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Author: locke-writes
Title: Drifting Through the Doubt
Request: Song Fic using Are You With Me by Nilu for Arthur Pendragon (BBC Merlin) For: Anon
Rating: T
Word Count: 1,803
Tag List: @randomfandomimagine​ / @multifandomfix​ / @retvenkos​ / @dreamlandcreations​ / ask to be added
The nights seemed longer to Arthur since his father had died. Funeral preparations led way to coronation preparations with no break in between. There was barely any time to mourn let alone time to process the fact that he was to be the new king of Camelot. Some nights he would sit alone in bed half longing for sleep and half longing to be anyone else. Life may not be easier if he wasn't royalty but perhaps it might be simpler.
He wondered if the decisions in his life had been the right ones. He wondered if the people he has trusted throughout his right were the right people to confide in. He questioned everything, there had been expectations put on him from a young age and he knew there would be expectations put on him from the people of Camelot. He only hoped that he could lead the kingdom into a new age rather than thrust it back into the dark.
There was no one he could speak to on these issues, not really. He knew what Merlin would say, knew it would probably be some form of reassurance. While he was aware it would be a gesture of kindness and none of the words from Merlin would be lies, it still would not be the sort of truth that he was seeking. Not the words that he might be desperate to hear and yet fear to be told.
Arthur had made mistakes in his life, he recognized them for what they were when they occurred. Still he had not truly learned how to atone for mistakes which could easily be remedied, or maybe not easily but remedied all the same. He kept trying to convince himself that he had made the correct decision, that he hadn't made a mistake distancing himself from you. Distancing himself from one of the few people who knew him as he truly was.
He had loved you, still loved you. He just didn't want you to be swept up in the sea of grief and fear that had surrounded him as of late. It wasn't easy to push you away, it pained him but he fought the pain by convincing himself that you would be better off. You weren't royalty, you had no title to speak of and yet he loved you, something that was considered forbidden by his father, even more by all the court. Back then he didn't care, hadn't thought of his future as king.
And wasn't that all that mattered, the way that he was seen? His perception as king could lead to the growth of the kingdom, to alliances or to wars all the same. What kind of a person would he be if he put you in that situation? Yet night after night you were the one person that made it into his thoughts the most. Arthur wondered if he could live with the regret, if one day he would look back on the moments he was living through and feel no remorse, nothing of pain. Sorrow would be wiped away, he had to believe that. Didn't he?
Sleep seemed to consistently evade him. Merlin noticed, Gaius noticed, all the knights noticed. No one knew what to say, no one truly knew the cause although many suspected. Sorrow seemed to follow both you and Arthur although only Arthur's could be associated with the death of his father.
It was not unusual to see you in the company of Arthur, what became unusual was to see the two of you apart. To see the looks given in longing that seemed to be missed by one or the other. But there wasn't reason enough to get involved, not reason enough to make comments because assumptions weren't the same as fact.
Nightmares seemed to fill Arthur's sleep. He hadn't been sleeping well in the first place, stilled filled with fear over what was to come, any faults he might make in the weeks after the coronation. There wasn't much time left before then, wasn't much time before the fate of the kingdom was fully within his hands, where the advisors would keep from the decisions unless he questioned them.
Foolishness had been something his father accused of him as a child, he wondered if truly he had been foolish or innocent. He wondered now if his decision to pull away from you was foolish or was it a rational idea. All that he knew was that in the moment with the fear and the nightmares, you were the one person he wished to speak to, the one person that he knew might listen and understand. Still, forgiveness for what he had done was not to be easily given, this he knew. He also knew that perhaps it was not right for him to seek you out, to lay the burden of his life at your feet.
He stayed there, staring at the ceiling willing himself to fall back to sleep, hoping that the dreams to come would be peaceful and not terror filled.
Night after night Arthur experienced the nightmares. There was no rest to be had, the coronation was only four days away and he wasn't certain of the last time he had truly slept. While he knew it was potentially dangerous, he slipped out of bed, dressed himself for the first time since Merlin had become his servant, and slipped outside of the castle walls.
You were preparing for the coronation, nights spent working at your kitchen table working long into the night, sometimes even into the early morning. While most certainly would not be wearing armor to the coronation, the knights had a duty to which meant mending any and all pieces that had been damaged not just in battles but even in the midst of sparring. While there were days that you would have spent hours mending armor, you were never one to stay up until the dawn to finish your work, knowing that rest was what kept you from making mistakes and knowing that the cost of replenishing candles was often too much when you needed food and clothing for yourself.
Still, the coronation changed everything, made work pile up. Orders for new pieces of armor rose almost as fast as orders for repairs. Night after night you'd sit staring at the smaller pieces that you could bring from the armory without difficulty. Night after night you meant to keep your focus on work rather than drift off to sleep.
Arthur was unsure where he was going or what he was doing, wandering around outside of the castle. He traveled to the marketplace, passing stalls that would not be open until the morning, passing houses that had covered windows, informing him that the people of Camelot were in their beds performing that sweet task of sleep that he was desperate for.
A shadow passed your window, stopping for a moment. There had been no trouble in Camelot for some time and while you knew you might be walking into danger you wondered who would be at your door at this time of night. Gripping the mallet you had been using to smooth out dents in armor you opened your door only to be met with the sight of Arthur walking past. You called out to him.
Arthur had noticed the light coming from your home, but in his half asleep and worry riddled state hadn't identified it as your home until you had opened it. He turned to rush off before you recognized him but heard his name before any chance at an escape could be made. He paused, trying to determine if he really should turn, if there was anything that you would want to hear from him after all that he'd put you through. But then he knew at least he owed you an explanation. He turned to towards you and all he could see was the worry that had come over you. He followed you inside and sat at the only other chair around the table.
You hadn't quite known what to say to break the silence so you asked the only question you could.
"Why are you out of the castle, Arthur?"
He sat silent for a moment before deciding on the honest answer, "I haven't slept in days, not like I should be. There's nightmares, there's fear."
"And what does the future king have to be afraid of?" You questioned, although you knew the answer.
"All the decisions, the fate of Camelot, it all weighs on me now. I have no one to come and fix my mistakes, I could be a horrible king or I could be a great king there's nothing that tells me if what I choose is right. I'm afraid that my father's faults will become my own. I'm afraid I've already made terrible decisions, I'm afraid that pushing you away was a mistake and I'm afraid that even the truth won't bring you back to me, won't give me any semblance of forgiveness."
"The wars of our fathers aren't ours to fight Arthur. Your father's faults are not your own. True you have a difficult road ahead of you because your choices will be your own, the advisors you have are only there for that singular reason, they are not their to given the final decision. You may fail, you may succeed, however I know that I, your knights, and your friends all know that you will be a great king. As for forgiveness…I don't think I understand enough to give it"
Arthur nodded, "I had this belief that it wouldn't be right to put you at my side. Not to have you rule beside me, at least not yet, I don't even know if that is something of interest. I don't really know anything I suppose. I just thought I would save you from getting hurt, from the stares and the people saying that station matters over heart. I thought I was protecting you although I know that you don't need it. I thought I made the right decision, instead I think I've just been a fool."
"You've always been a fool Arthur, a fool who should learn that the ideas of one person do not dictate the ideas of a whole kingdom. Your father may have believed that another royal was your only option but if you had a chance to speak with your villagers perhaps they might prove differently. Fear makes us act in foolish ways, forgiveness has been given to you Arthur, but take it in stride because I may not offer it again."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Know that I am here for you, know that fear does not control us Arthur. You will be a great king, I have no doubt."
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xawkward-ariesx · 1 year
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All Evidence Suggests - One:
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Prompt: 'Can u write about arthur finding about merlin's magic sooner, like in the 2nd season?'
Set after episode 7 ‘The Witchfinder’
Summary:
Upon accidently discovering his manservant's magic Arthur is left with an impossible decision to make about the fate of his friend.
Read here on AO3. Or on ff.net
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thenerdyindividual · 2 years
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Chapters: 6/13 Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Gwaine/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) Characters: Gwaine (Merlin), Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin), Uther Pendragon (Merlin), Aredian (Merlin) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Action/Adventure, Exile, Running Away, Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Gwaine (Merlin), Smart Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Episode: s02e06 Beauty and the Beast, Curses, Spells & Enchantments, Escape, Falling In Love, On the Run, Tenderness, Campfires, Teamwork, Protective Merlin (Merlin), Flirting, POV Merlin (Merlin), POV Gwaine (Merlin), Good Morgana (Merlin) Summary:
Uther is enchanted by a troll, we know how that story goes. But what happens when he never cries tears of true remorse? What happens when the troll dies before Gaius and Merlin break the enchantment?
With Uther on he warpath, it falls to Arthur to try to protect the people of Camelot from Uther’s paranoia and ever increasing greed. But when Uther not only revokes Arthur’s title, but disowns him, the danger Arthur is in increases. In a bid for his life, he flees Camelot.
It doesn’t stop there. Now the famed Witch Hunter Aredian is on his trail, and it’s up to Merlin and a charming scoundrel in a tavern to get word to Arthur in time to save him from Aredian.
(Updates Fridays)
For @anarchycox
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dryadalisliv · 4 months
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I think it would be insanely funny if after Arthur’s death everyone returns back in time to the place they were the day Merlin arrived in Camelot. But like, everyone thinks they are the only ones who has returned. We see it all from Merlin’s pov, who’s traumatised and wondering why the fuck Arthur is so much sweeter to him this time around and keeps saying ‘thank you’. He wonders why Lancelot shows up earlier, why all of a sudden Gwaine is there three years too early, saying he got hurt in a tavern bawl and needs a physician. He wonders why Leon keeps pretending like he didn’t just accidentally see Merlin do magic. Why Gwen keeps giving him these knowing looks. And why Morgana doesn’t seem as afraid as she used to when she was figuring out that she had magic. Everyone is trying their best to change history for the better, thinking they are alone with this duty... and then one day when uther is dead and they are sitting around the round table, merlin steps forward and is like: ‘I need to confess that I have magic, but also that I have returned from the future.’ And everyone just whips around and is like ‘YOU TOO??!’ And then they realise that they’ve all returned and wasted their time thinking they were alone.
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pendragonsclotpole · 3 months
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question for my fellow merthur compatriots, i recently started reading a merlin canon fix-it where merlin’s modern name was emrys hunithson, and like i love that name, touching, meaningful. but that and another post on this website has me thinking about the lovely alternatives merlin might use as his name in a modern world.
like yeah, he could go by merlin emrys, merlin hunithson, emrys hunithson
but imagine if he took up the last name pendragon.
1500 years pass and merlin’s traveling the world as merlin pendragon, as emrys pendragon or better yet
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ambrose pendragon.
merlin signs all his contracts and credit card receipts with the name a. pendragon.
arthur and the rest of the roundtable + gwen + morgana return but can’t find merlin. WHY?
because they’re looking for the wrong name.
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Unrealistic that all these magic reveal merthur au’s out there have Merlin remembering enough of his life to be able to recap the entirety of the show to Arthur without leaving anything out all in one go.
magic reveal fanfic’s:
Merlin: my magic’s for you arthur. Its only for you. *proceeds to give chronological order of events starting at ep1 all the way up to the reveal*
10x funnier and more likely:
Merlin: *months or years after the reveal* so anyway, there I was, tied to a tree, and a serkhet stings me, right?
Arthur: *spluttering* I’m sorry what
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drainsdorm · 4 months
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arthur is a simple man. all he asks is for is that him and merlin have at least 3 square inches of skin contact at all times and if that is not possible then merlin must be at least within a radius of his arm’s length, ready to initiate skin contact at any given moment, and if that is not possible then merlin must at least be within his line of sight so that at any given moment, he can approach him for that minimum 3 square inches of skin contact. couldn’t ask for a more simple man.
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ink-through-her-veins · 4 months
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“Do you have to touch everyone?” Arthur asks, eyes narrowing on where Gwaine’s hand now rests upon Merlin’s bowed head.
“He’s been gone,” Gwaine says. “It’s nice to see him.”
Arthur scoffs. “He was collecting firewood!”
Merlin, unperturbed by Gwaine’s ruffling of his already messy hair, has already begun looking through the pile of wood at his feet for small twigs to add to the kindling.
“You’re just emotionally stunted,” Merlin quips, striking the flint and deftly starting the dry leaves alight.
“I am not!” Arthur protests.
But he flushes when Merlin’s fingers brush against his palm as he hands him his dinner. And he can’t quite understand the strange fluttering in his chest when Merlin smiles at him.
“I think I’m sick,” he tells Gaius when he returns to Camelot, and goes on to describe the strange clenching in his belly, stuttering of his heart, and heating of his face.
Merlin has the gall to laugh. Gaius raises an eyebrow.
“I’ll handle this,” Merlin tells Gaius.
Gaius shrugs and walks out of the chambers muttering under his breath.
Arthur sputters. “I am king. He can’t just walk out when I am unwell. What is the meaning of this?”
Merlin’s face is inches from Arthur’s, and all of his symptoms are flaring up, and he’s short of air. Merlin’s lips press against his in a soft chaste kiss. Oh. Oh that’s… Arthur grabs at the back of Merlin’s head, and kisses back.
When they part, Merlin whispers, “Better?”
“Cured.”
Merlin rolls his eyes. “Emotionally stunted, prat.”
“Merlin!”
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justaz · 5 days
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omg omg omg
arthur gives merlin his mothers sigil thinking that hes going to die and wants to finally tell merlin how he feels and what better way of conveying the intensity of his emotions and how serious he is other than marriage? merlin accepts the sigil which means theyre married!! yay!! only. they both survive and arthur QUICKLY realizes that merlin has no idea the significance of the sigil. he has no idea theyre married. and arthur has no idea how to tell him bc then hell have to explain WHY he gave him the sigil aka WHY HE PROPOSED and now that hes not staring death in the face. he just. cant.
blah blah blah time skip to happy ending
the druids invite arthur and merlin to a celebration of the unification of emrys and the once and future king and the fruition of their destinies. merlin and arthur are excited bc finally peace is here and magic is returning and this can be the next big show of trust and reconciliation between camelot and the druids and so theyre there in the druid camp having fun when theyre approached and asked to participate in the ceremony. theres a huge buzzing crowd watching as the elder druid ties their hands together and goes on and on about the magnificence of two men standing before them and their great destinies and how the two sides of the same coin are joined finally as the prophecy said all those years ago. merlin doesnt realize it was a handfasting ceremony until hes talking to a few of the druids later on
anyway. merthur accidental wedding(s). now they both know theyre married but they dont know the other knows theyre married bc different ceremonies and traditions and all that. arthur is all awkward about it bc hes emotionally constipated. merlin is convincing himself he doesnt have to bring it up to arthur bc its not like the DRUID marriage ceremony is legally binding in camelot. they didnt sign any papers or anything. theyre not really married in camelot so arthur doesnt have to know. and then merlin can selfishly keep this truth close to his heart. even if its not reciprocated.
married life shenanigans ensue. merlin and arthur both have to physically stop themselves from calling the other their husband. jealous spats when out in the tavern or when visiting royals/nobles stop on by. leon knows all and is this close to snapping. extra protective idiots. and idk someone catches merlin holding the sigil and explains the significance of it or a druid asks arthur where his husband emrys is and my boy is STRESSED about being caught but then the druid brings up the handfasting ceremony. stupid idiot x stupid idiot.
you see my vision, right?
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merlinlikethebird · 23 days
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I'm very happy to have worked with @excited-insomniac on So Familiar A Gleam for the @bbcmerlin-reversebang!!! It was so much fun, I hope you all go check out the fic!! Thank you to the mods for running things, and for @feuxxfor helping me with art beta!
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whydon-twego · 9 months
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"You have Arthur's complete trust" Merlin laughs when Gwen tells him this and asks her what she is talking about.
Gwen looks at him strangely, as if she thinks Merlin is joking but then she sees Merlin's expression and can't hide her surprise.
"Merlin, you do realise that you're the person Arthur trusts most in the world, right?" Merlin chuckles again but this time it is with a sense of guilt and annoyance that won't let him alone.
"I don't think so."
Gwen, who until then had been mending one of Morgana's dresses, puts down her needle and thread and looks at him seriously, Merlin doesn't think he has ever seen her like that.
"You two fooling around and teasing each other is fine, Merlin, but you can't really think Arthur doesn't trust you. You can come and go from his rooms as you please, whether he's there or not, you have the keys to his room, and you're the only person who has them, and the whole castle knows perfectly well that Arthur has priceless things in there. I know you shave him every morning and believe me, that is not the job of a manservant,"
"But he is the one who-"


"That's right, Merlin. He's the one who."
Gwen seems genuinely annoyed that Merlin doesn't grasp how much Arthur trusts him, and Merlin finds himself having a chasm in his chest because he doesn't want to think about it. He doesn't want to think about Arthur's trust in him, he doesn't want to think that Arthur thinks Merlin is a person worthy of his trust, because Arthur is the most noble and sincere person in the world and Merlin is hiding most of his life from him.
"I have to go, Gwen."
Merlin leaves everything where he is and does not even turn around when Gwen (probably guilt-ridden from that lecture) calls him back.
Merlin hides in the first crevice he finds and struggles to breathe.
He struggles to breathe because Arthur trusts him and he knows it, but he tries to think about it as little as possible. He tries to live life day by day and not think about tomorrow and how long it is that he is lying to him. He tries not to have a heart attack every time Arthur looks at him and smiles or pats him on the back saying "good job!" or when Arthur is the first to worry about him when they are attacked by bandits.
Merlin tries not to think about Arthur's scream when they were separated on a mission and Merlin had to drop rocks to protect him. He tries not to think about the time he had to steal the keys from Arthur's room and Arthur, finding him in the room early in the morning, didn't bat an eyelid at the excuse of the woodworms because Arthur trusts him and simply told him to leave.
Merlin is a horrible person who does not deserve this kind of trust, not when he is lying to the most important person in his life.
"Breathe."
Merlin, caught in the middle of a panic attack he didn't even realise was happening, jerks at the voice and Arthur's hand resting on his shoulder.
"Breathe, Merlin, come on, in and out, calmly, follow me" Arthur takes deep breaths and Merlin tries to keep up with him but Arthur's mere presence makes the situation worse and Merlin finds himself with tears in his eyes as Arthur looks at him more and more worried.
"Gwen!" shouts Arthur then and Gwen is at his side within moments "Go get Gaius, I can't move Merlin from here in this condition."
Gwen looks at Merlin and she's so worried and feeling so guilty that Merlin wants to say something to her but is already so much if he can breathe.
Gwen leaves and Arthur and Merlin are alone and Arthur strokes his back trying to calm him down and Merlin bursts into tears. 
Arthur lays a hand on his shoulder and settles him on top of him, not holding him too tightly for fear of Merlin's breathing getting worse.
"I was looking all over for you, you know? I thought you'd be at the tavern or having fun somewhere and instead, I find you here doing the doppol-head."
Merlin laughs between sighs and sobs and Arthur continues.
"You have a myriad of tasks to do. My armour is completely ruined, I have no idea where my sword is and you were supposed to revise my speech for this afternoon but apparently, you had better things to do."
Merlin's breathing calmed and he was finally able to concentrate better, noticing that the king was sitting on the dirt floor next to him and practically rocking him.
"Arthur…"
Arthur turns his head slightly but they still can't make eye contact.
"I have magic."
Arthur stiffens and Merlin already feels lost without his king by his side even though he is still physically there.
"Alright," Arthur murmurs and Merlin gets up to look at him because there is no way he is hearing correctly. Arthur turns to look at him and his expression isn't the happiest but Merlin can't blame him "we've been through a lot worse, haven't we?"
And etiquette be damned, what is right or not right to do at court, Merlin throws himself onto his king and holds him as if he never wants to let him go again, holds him trying to tell him everything he is unable to say right now in words.
Arthur holds him just as tightly and Merlin finally knows that everything will be all right.
And that is how Gwen and Gaius find them, embraced tightly in the middle of a corridor in Camelot.
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heyitskai2 · 8 months
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hold on babe, i just uploaded my completed 48k enemies to lovers merthur fanfic to ao3 and im reading the comments
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regulusrules · 10 months
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So merlin is trending, huh? Here are 5 fics you should read about those immortal idiots
1. and it will set you free series by @andiwriteordie. Arguably my favourite fix-it from so, so long. The way the author introspected about their entire lifetime was unbelievably powerful. And the way they gave Arthur agency to have had a say in the whole "destiny" debacle from the very beginning.. oh my. So creative and so incredibly loving. Honestly, all of this author's works are works of art and it's a crime against the fandom how very underrated they are.
2. Smile and Pretend by Fulgance. Yes fine I know I can't keep on recommending this author's Beauty in the Ashes of Our Lives every time I get the chance. But really, this one was just as amazing. My soft heart flutters for any and all Arthur-Finds-Out fics. Especially those where he lets Merlin come to him with it instead. aaaah. This fic is definitely one of the top tiers of the category.
3. To you I swear my solemn oaths by @regulusrules. Again, yes I know I should stop flouncing around My heart is readily yours every time I get the chance. It's my hyperfixation on fics that hyperfixate over Arthur, forgive me. TYISMSO was my first ever fic in the fandom, and I always look back at it with pride of how much faith I tried to breathe between them. They were in love, your honour. God I love those two idiots so much.
4. Fathom Me Out by @supercalvin. I don't know about you, but to me this is a requirement for our fandom. If you haven't read this fic, you haven't read anything. It is absolute brilliance— in writing, in the plot, in their characterization.. absolutely everything.
5. Still I Surface in Morning Light by @queerofthedagger. Scar reveal, but make it so good that you never stop thinking about it. I can hands-down say it's one of the best scar reveal fics I've read in this fandom. It's so intricately written and their conversations are otherworldly. The despair and love you see here.. a masterpiece.
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dryadalisliv · 1 year
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I don’t think that we, as a society, talk enough about Uther cc’ing someone on the email
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I started watching Merlin under the assumption that I’d get some fun history nerd moments and that Merthur was just another fannon mlm ship with little canonical basis but HOLY SHIT I’ve literally seen cannon straight couples with less sexual tension than whatever the fuck those two had going on.
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princess-of-morkva · 27 days
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Arthur: Gaius, i think I'm scared of him.
Gaius: you're not scared of him, sire.
Gaius: you're attracted to him.
(about Merlin)
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