Jacques: I invented a new word.
Watts: What is it?
Headcanon: Watts’ mustache is fake.
join me in horny jail bruv😔
It doesn’t matter if Jacques is currently cut off from his bank accounts. Jacques probably doesn’t even have cash on him.
But the promise of Money is enough to sway the hearts of men. And Jacques can promise a lot of money.
Besides, with the shady stuff Jacques does, unregistered bank accounts is probably the least of what he has open to him.
And if the promise doesn’t work, his outfit probably costs more than a month’s salary for a guard.
As for Watts, you hit it right on the money. He has no hacking power without a computer.
How long do you think it would take him to find a computer in feckin’ Atlas?
I give it five minutes. Tops. Hell, if they have to assault a guard on the way out, that’s an immediate computer get: the guard might have scrolls, and their helmets likely have screens on the inside (because they certainly don’t have eyeholes).
Now, I’m not actually saying they will aid in the escape. Honestly, I doubt an escape will even happen. But they do have skills that would be conducive to an escape.
If only Robyn and Qrow would be willing to let them escape. Because while I doubt they approve of the brutality we see the guards inflicting on Watts in the trailer, they’re also very aware that those two men are dangerous and likely to cause even more havoc if they’re let out. There’s a definitely moral choice there.
Team Jailbreak currently consists of:
- A Literal Shapeshifter who can alter Probability
- An Incredibly Popular Politician Who May Have Experience Working Against Law Enforcement
- A Man Capable Of Hacking All The Systems
- Moneybags McBribery
The only reason why they’re not gonna escape in five minutes is that Qrow and Robyn are the only two with a good working relationship:
- Qrow hates the SDC.
- Qrow really doesn’t want to work alongside a villain right now
- Robyn hates Jacques’ guts
- Robyn hates Watts’ guts
- Jacques likely takes issue with Watts setting him up to take a fall
- Jacques hates Robyn’s guts
- Jacques is such an asshole he’ll find something he hates about Qrow, probably.
Watts is probably okay with working with everyone else, but nobody likes him.
Hazel: *watching Ruby* Is… everything okay?
Ruby: *sighing* I’m just jealous that Cinder and Merc and Em are all having fun and I’m… stuck here…
Hazel: You have a lot you need to learn-
Ruby: But they’re going out to explore! Why cant I go with them?
Hazel: Its… not that simple. You see, there’s a few things that we’re doing that you… shouldn’t be involved in. At least, not yet.
Ruby: *going back to her books* Fine…
Hazel: *pulling out a picture and sighing* You remind me a lot of my sister.
Ruby: *looking up* You have a sister?
Hazel: I could teach you a few things about fighting.
Ruby: You can fight?
Hazel: *nodding* How’s your hand to hand combat?
Watts: *frowning* What were you both thinking?!
Ruby: *wincing as she got bandaged up* Professor Rainhart was teaching me- Ouch!
Watts: *applying a splint to Ruby’s broken leg* We’re all lucky you werent hurt any more than this.
Hazel: I wanted to make sure she could handle herself.
Watts: And breaking her leg was the best way to do that?
Ruby: *looking away* That was an accident…
Watts: *groaning* Let’s make sure Salem doesnt hear about this…
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I DO NOT CONDONE THE USE OF ANY ILLICIT, RECREATIONAL SUBSTANCE FOR THOSE UNDERAGED! REMEMBER, KIDS: WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS!
Jaune: Swear to the Brothers; first thing Friday morning, they’re doing a full sweep. (Pulls out a joint and lights it, Smokes it and blows up) Cleaned out my bags last night, and found about a pound of Vacuan Hash stuffed in the bottom. Must have got it from Sun.
Nora: But it’s just a pot test, right?
Jaune: No, Nora. ALL drugs.
Nora: Shit. (Pulls out a bag of sparkly pancake flour, Pours onto the table) I call it fun-cake. (Buries her head and inhales)
Jaune: How about you, woman with one arm; you on the wrong side of the law?
Yang: (Dancing wildly in a rave, Covered head to toe in fluorescent body paint)
Jaune: Well, then we’re all fucked, huh?
Watts: (Practically slithers in) Talking about the drug test, huh?
Watts: What if I told you I had something that could beat any drug test in the world?
Jaune: Depends, are you telling us that?
Watts: I call them, “Watts Up!”, a coffee that is consumed, digested, and eradicates any and all traces of any illicit substance. (All clamor for it) UP-UP-UP! I litera- figuratively scoured the globe for these beans, at no small expense for myself.
Nora: (Groans) How much?
Watts: A hundred Lien for each scoop. (Everyone complains) Or you could try your luck in the job market. (Everyone reaches for their wallets) Nonsequential bills, please.
Yang: Ugh! This smells like ass!
Jaune: Well, maybe it’s not as bad as it smells? (They all drink, Everyone spits) ARGH! IT’S AS BAD AS IT SMELLS!
Nora: I feel like there’s a joke there, but I can’t see it!
Yang: Urp! No, but I can taste it!
Jaune: (Covers his mouth) Excuse me!
Nora: (Violently vomiting into the toilet) OH MY GOD! I’M GONNA DIE IN A TOILET STALL! JUST LIKE THE TEA LEAVES SAID!
Jaune: Fucking Watts! Mustached cuck-lord…
Yang: Well, we don’t know if he actu-
Jaune: (Screams) WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
Yang: (Turns into AFO from MHA)
I’m your friend, Jaune. Jaune?
Jaune: (Melts into a yellow puddle)
YOU’RE NOT MY FRIEND, YOU’RE A SUPERVILLAIN!
Nora: (Naked and Screaming, Squatting on the toilet and surrounded by acid)
HOW ARE YOU BOTH STILL ALIVE?! THE FLOOR IS ACID! THE FLOOR! IS! ACIIIIIIIID!
Watts: (Speaking into a tape recorder) Clinical trial thirty-eight: Subjects responses are exceeding expectations.
Yang: (Backing away) JAUNE, YOU’RE MELTING! YOU’RE MELTING!
Nora: (Rocking herself on the toilet) BECAUSE THE FLOOR IS ACIIIIIIIID!
Jaune: (Tearing at the toilet bowl, Rips it out) MUST! GO! BEYOOOOOOOND!
Watts: That reminds me; call Tyrian.
We didn’t see it coming, but it hit us hard and the hits just keep coming. Meanwhile 2021 is nearby wondering if it’s gonna get beaten down the same way.
Watts: just waiting for that moment a friend tells me devastating news and i accidentally double tap their forehead to sad react
yes i recycle jokes
👀 👀 👀
- The birb twins had all types of interactions with WTCH
A young girl entered the camp one day. She had long black hair she pushed back and let flow in the wind. Her yellow eyes were sharp, staring into the souls of each person she passed by.
“Hello,” she said once she approached Qrow and Raven. She grinned at them.
Qrow could feel a sinster, evil energy coming from her. How could something so small have so much hate and greed stored in it?
Raven squinted at her. Her eyebrows furrowed, and she narrowed her eyes at her. She looked to the three men Salem had sent earlier before the girl’s arrival.
“Who’s this?” she asked. It came off as more of a demand to know who she was.
The doctor— Watts, they had learned his surname was— rolled his eyes. He gestured to her and replied, “The most annoying brat to exist.”
Cinder shrieked, “Hey!”
“How old is it?” Qrow asked. He looked her up and down. There was a combination of confusion, curiosity, and disgust in his face.
“Five?” Tyrian guessed. He smiled, peering down at Cinder who had growled at him.
“I’m eight!” she corrected, her fists balled up and her eyes furious.
“Eight?” Raven whispered in disbelief. She looked to Qrow. She repeated, even quieter, “Eight.”
Hazel interrupted, “We have work to do.” His voice was calm, and yet so intimidating.
Qrow nodded, “Right.”
- Qrow and Tyrian have a… complicated relationship.
- They used to go on assignments together. It took awhile for Qrow to get used to the Faunus, eventually he did.
This time Tyrian was blabbering on and on about this little florist in his town he knew. Qrow stood next to him, his chin resting in his hand. He had been able to tune it all out.
“—and then I killed her!” Tyrian said with glee.
“Good for you,” Qrow deadpanned after he acknowledged Tyrian was done with his story.
Tyrian shifted his body so he was facing Qrow. The older teen refused to look back at him. He could feel his cold stare.
That day had been hot as hell. Qrow was sweating buckets, but the sweat rolling down his forehead had went cold. He gulped when Tyrian got closer to his face.
Tyrian’s lips brushed against Qrow’s ear. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?”
Qrow jumped back. He barked, “Don’t you ever do that again.”
He ignored Qrow. “What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing. Can we get back to watching the target?” Qrow turned away from Tyrian and looked back at the person they were keeping an eye on; Fria.
She had pale skin Qrow imagined to be ice cold— which he now realizes is an accidental pun. Her blue eyes were icy— ha— and her short hair was almost completely white. She was in her late forties.
“She’s an old lady, she’s slow,” Tyrian said. “We can keep up with her. Now, what’s on your mind?”
“She’s the Winter fucking Maiden.”
Tyrian kept smiling at him. Qrow knew he wouldn’t leave him alone, no matter what he said.
“A boy,” Qrow answered.
“Ohhh,” Tyrian grinned.
Qrow groaned, “Shut up.”
“Tell me more,” Tyrian said as if he was a teenage girl obsessed with drama.
“He’s…” Qrow began to answer. He pondered for a moment to form his words. “He’s smart. Way too smart for his age. Too damn nice. Pretty. An annoying smile I can’t stop thinking about. Soft eyes. Messy hair— I swear, he doesn’t know how to brush that shit.” He laughed, then smiled to himself.
Tyrian leaned forward, now invested in what Qrow had to say. “You love him,” he realized.
Qrow’s red eyes went wide. “No, that’s— that’s insane.” He tried to control his reaction, turning away and trying to block out Ozpin’s cute face out of his mind.
“You do,” the scorpion said. “It’s obvious.”
Qrow looked at the younger boy. He stared at him, a mixture between frustration and something that screamed “Holy shit, he might be right.”
He took a deep breath. “Just… don’t tell anyone.”
“Your secret is safe with me!” Tyrian told him. He mimicked zipping his mouth shut.
Qrow rolled his eyes.
- Another one of Salem’s minions was Leo Lionheart. Qrow didn’t know he was working with her. He couldn’t say he was entirely surprised when he found out in V5, but he didn’t expect it.
- He always suspected there was another mole. If Salem used to have Qrow and Raven, why not someone else? Ever since the Twins betrayed her, Qrow suspected someone else might be put into Ozpin’s life. He didn’t think this person was already in his life.
- He blames himself for not realizing it sooner. A rat should be able to sniff out another rat pretty easily, right?
- Qrow felt so quilty about working for Salem that he decided he’d dedicate the rest of his life to Ozpin. He’d make sure he ate, slept peacefully, stayed alive. He went on every mission, determined to help Oz in every way he could. He would do anything for him.
- Ozpin had noticed that Salem stopped attacking him and his group for a while. It was shortly after she realized she had been betrayed.
- He, oblivious to Qrow and Raven’s former allegiance, wondered why this was. He couldn’t figure it out. Every time he brought it up with Qrow, he’d try to change the topic or give a bullshit answer.
Ozpin and Qrow laid in the headmaster’s king sized bed. Qrow had an arm wrapped around his shoulders while Oz had both arms around his waist.
“I just don’t understand why she’s lying low now,” muttered Ozpin into Qrow’s shirt.
“Maybe she gave up?” Qrow suggested. He forced out a laugh.
Oz frowned. “We both know she didn’t. She’s likely planning for something, but what?”
Qrow wish he knew. Salem didn’t share important details with him or Raven, so he couldn’t provide any answers. Even if he did have answers, he’d have to find a way to explain why he knew Salem’s plan and was only now telling him. It was an impossible situation.
He sighed and gave Oz a kiss on the forehead. “We’ll figure it out,” he told him in a whisper.
Still going to hold out for Tyrian breaking Watts out of prison-
-and it being the most dramatic and gay thing you’ve ever seen from the two of them
Fake Name: Mauve, Josh
So I did a animatic of Nuts and Volts but felt kinda bad it was so quick to hardly see anything so I drew and colored more of Tyrian as Solider Josh Mauve.
And a little theory I have…
This was Tyrian hurting Watts while in disguise making his acting look real as possible.
“Sorry Watts. I have to make it look real.” - Tyrian