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[versadies]

CHAPTER SIX || HAPPINESS

SYPNOSIS (of chapter). in which there’s no happiness in both sides.

SYPNOSIS (of series). breaking up with your first love was heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as getting invited to his wedding after years of not seeing him. that is, until things seem to be easier when you encounter a certain guest, who could end up being more than just a blooming friend to you.

CHARACTERS. kamisato ayato, diluc ragnvindr (w/ gn!reader)

CONTENT. angst/no-comfort, modern!au, ooc ayato (?), mentions of breakup, no tw as far as ik of

PENPALS. @scaraslover @dawgimsohot @kazu-topia @aqualesha @mrkamisato @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @ladycoleigh @034ven @dear-dairiess @luv3rxcha @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @nejibot @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @estelwrld @reinvqx @chihawari @moonlightaangel @lonelysimpfor2dmen @sniffoat @mxsomn @jiminscarmex @alice0blog @ylimeprive @irethepotatosblog @irethepotato @elychee @rion-s @denkineptune @franini @sophisticatedleslie @thedivinepriestess @smashsubs @httpmitsuya @cottonkendi @uchihaeirin @abvolat @kokushiboswife @kyomihann @prplbunny @crowleysthings @axeybelle09 @chimsblogg @ys14a @leaunce @q-zrs @phoenixdrake88-blog @giyusimpsassemble @saving-for-xiao @jean-kirstiens-wife @strawberryuns @selfinsertintrovert @sachispet (VISIT THIS POST IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE TAGGED)

WORD COUNT. 6.4k words

SPECIAL NOTE. i apologize for not posting any chapters for the past two weeks ( > — < ) !! i wasn’t able to work on chapter 6 thanks to school and other personal things. hopefully next week will be kinder and let me do what i want 💀💀

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Ayato is always prepared. 

For all his life, he was prepared to become the best of the best, to ensure that his  family’s business is as prosperous as always, and to face many obstacles and those who dare to threaten the Yashiro Company. 

For all his life, he never wished that his life would go different, that his life had never revolved around handling the Yashiro Company and could’ve lived freely. He never expected anything from school, the one thing that at least made him feel like he’s normal like his peers, and only thought the only important thing is the future that awaits. 

You weren’t someone he considered important back then. 

He’s heard of your name before, from Thoma’s lips as he happily chats away with the blue-haired man, from some student council officers who wondered if you’d be free to hang out with them, and from certain events in school that involved you in it. 

You weren’t someone important, until you did. 

Ayato always visits Komore Cafe whenever he can or when he needs something refreshing after a tiring day. However, the particular reason why he visited is because of Thoma’s absence. For the past weeks, the blonde-haired man has been spacing out often, causing Ayato to grow concerned for his dear friend. He thought it was because of how his family’s business started to blossom more than ever and was just exhausted from working, but when the blue-haired man visited, he later found out from Thoma’s mother that Thoma had recently gone home late.

Thoma never goes home late, as far as he knew at least.

It took perhaps thirty minutes after Ayato sat on his seat when his best friend arrived, but to his surprise, Thoma brought company.

The moment you entered inside the cafe, he felt like the world had grown brighter.

You brought his attention, strangely more than how most people that Thoma’s with. He wasn’t sure if it’s the way the sunlight made you exceptionally breathtaking, the way you lightly laughed at Thoma’s clumsiness and stumbled words (a side that Ayato never saw from his best friend), or the way you feel like you’re going to be more than just someone who has the same friend as he. 

Whatever it is that made Ayato interested, he just knew he wanted you in his life, be it as a friend or–

No, that won’t happen. 

But then it did. 

One simple conversation and Ayato was curious. Two more conversations and Ayao wanted more. More conversations and Ayato is hooked. 

Whenever he’s with you, it feels like he’s a whole different person. Instead of the disciplined and refined Kamisato Ayato, he’s just the mischievous and sickeningly sweet Ayato. Whenever he’s with you, it felt like you could see through him and read him like an open book, not because you’re a great observant person, but because he allowed you to – even if he sometimes didn’t mean to. 

Whenever he’s with you, he falls even more in love. 

He never planned for this to happen. 

Romance was something he had never considered in his life, knowing that one day he’ll be in an arranged marriage should his father accept such an offer. However, now that he has you, he thought his father wouldn’t make him pursue arranged marriage – besides, his family loved you, how could there possibly be a chance he would be separated from the person he holds dear to his heart? 

Yet here he is, getting ready for a wedding with the person who isn’t you. 

The biggest regret of Ayato’s life was the inability to fight hard enough for you, choosing to follow his family instead of following the desires of his heart. The world went back to being bland, monotone even. How did he manage to live through his past without you? How can he go back to being the disciplined and refined Kamisato Ayato without the side that was often brought out because of you? 

He wanted to cast his heart aside, but seeing your devastating face every single day in college was enough for him to be reminded that his heart still and always will be longing for you. 

There was not a day where he wondered what could’ve been if he had decided to let the name and reputation of the Kamisato family go tarnished and chose to be with you, what could’ve been if he had ignored his blooming feelings for you back then and not be your boyfriend in the first place, or what could’ve been if fate was not so cruel to him. 

Perhaps he should’ve ignored his feelings, then none of this would have happened. 

If he ignored it, he wouldn’t have broken up with you and become cold towards you, ignored you for the rest of the days in college, spend sleepless nights in devastation and regret, made you despise him for the words he lied about, nor would he become a desperate soul longing for a forgiveness he can’t reach. 

One of the things he didn’t exactly plan is inviting you to his wedding.

It was one thought at first, what if he’d invite you to the wedding and apologize? But then again, it would cause quite a ruckus if anyone, especially the Hiiragi family,  found out about his first love visiting the wedding. 

That one thought turned to countless thoughts. 

There’s nothing Ayato wants more than to have you as his lover. He’s no cruel man, he would never lash out the despair he holds on someone like Chisato – who’s only dragged to this as well and had no part in starting this marriage arrangement – but there were times when he wished he didn’t want to see her. What’s the point of waking up if you’re not the one who he sees? 

He then decided no, he won’t invite you to the wedding. You most likely have moved on, maybe even met someone new, and maybe that someone is…

Foolish, Ayato thought to himself. You have no right to be jealous. Not when they’re no longer yours. 

It took one conversation occurred between him and Thoma, who’s chosen as his best man for the wedding, that made the CEO think otherwise. 

“Why don’t we invite Ei, Miko, and ( Name )? I think it would be a great reunion with our friends if they came.” Thoma brought up as he checks the guest list for Ayato.

The blue-haired man instantly looks at the blonde-haired man when he mentions your name. “Oh?” 

He nods. “I’m sure they’ll accept it, especially since ( Name ) haven’t seen the others for so long, and besides, maybe you might… make up with them?” 

Ayato chuckles, now understanding Thoma’s motives. “Ah, so you’re just here to suggest ( Name ), huh?” 

The blonde-haired man’s cheeks turns red in embarrassment – or is it from thinking about you? “P-Partially.. I just think it’s best if you and ( Name ) finally settle things between you properly. They deserve to know–”

“Then it’s settled.” 

“Huh?” 

Ayato’s lips twitch upward. “I just needed someone to suggest the same thing as I, so let’s add them on the list, make sure that no one slips a single word about the… past relationship.” 

Thoma’s eyes slightly widened, not expecting the man to easily accept the suggestion. “You.. You have my word. I’ll add them to the guest list and add three more invitations.” 

The CEO hums in response, looking down to continue his work. “You’re dismissed then if that’s all.” 

Thoma bows and walks out from the office, his mind has nothing but the thought of the way his boss, his best friend for so many years, looks exceptionally bright for the first time since forever.

Another thing he didn’t plan was to be speechless when he first sees you. 

He still remembers your conversation about how you wanted your wedding to be in Mondstadt like it was yesterday. 

To you, marriage was something you fantasized whenever the both of you talked about your shared future. To him, marriage was something he wanted whenever the both of you talked about your shared future. 

“Ooh, perhaps we should pick Mondstadt as our location! Won’t it be sweet if you and I get married in Mondstadt? I hear they have romantic sceneries that are a wonderful sight.” You said, and Ayato watches you scrolling down your phone with a smile on his face. You look so cute when you’re so focused and fixated on your phone, he just can’t help but decide to hold you close to him!

He lets out a chuckle, the color pink dusted his cheeks from how close the both of you are. “Whatever makes you happy, love. It’d be great if the cathedral is available by the time we’re ready. I hear that it can make the wedding altar sceneric with how the sun reflects through the windows.” He spoke up, imagining the way the sunlight would shine on you, causing you to look more radiant than ever. 

He could sense your smile. “It seems I’m not the only one who has researched.” You teased, and he couldn’t help but place his lips on your temple. 

“Of course. You’re not the only one who’s looking forward to our future together.” He retorts, holding you closer as he relishes your presence with a happy sigh. “Nevertheless, even if things do not go our way, I’m sure we’ll be prepared for everything.”

But I wasn’t prepared for these circumstances. He thought at the back of his mind as he and Chisato continued to greet their guests.. How silly of me to even think I would be able to be with the person I want… His eyes darken slightly, the polite smile on his face was on the verge of disappearing. 

Just as you said, the hotel was truly a magnificent place to stay in – the pictures you showed him didn’t give the hotel justice, in fact. If only you were here as his spouse instead, then perhaps the place would be vibrant–

The bored look on his face instantly disappears when his eyes land on familiar ones. 

Not too far away from where he is stood the person who he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, looking as breathtaking as always as you continue to be unaware of his staring. You look happier than before when you were heartbroken from his breakup with you, and although you look older now, you're still the same person he fell in love with. 

It felt like he was back to being the mischievous and sickeningly sweet student whose heart was taken by someone who loved him back. 

Reality suddenly washes over him when you noticed him staring at you, his heart ached at the way your smile wasn’t seen on your features – you looked hesitant, as if you’re meeting the infamous CEO of the Yashiro business and not the man you once loved. 

It felt like you now see him as a stranger. 

“Dear?” Chisato calls. 

He immediately looks away from your direction to look at his future bride, and he realizes that the guests he has been greeting have now left. “Are you alright, Ayato?” Chisato asks with a worried look on her face.

The blue-haired man smiles reassuringly. “I’m alright, I just spotted a long time old friend. Shall we get going and greet them?” 

Chisato looks at where Ayato was staring, her eyes brightens at the sight of you. “Oh, it’s ( Name )! We should get going then, I’m sure you have a lot to talk about with them.” 

Without hesitation, the couple went towards you, and Ayato sees the way your lips went upwards when you started talking to your plus one – who seems to look familiar for some reasons he couldn’t point out.

By the time he stands completely near to you, he instantly calls your name – something that he hasn’t spoken for such a long time. 

“( Name ).” 

You slowly turned around, causing him to see you clearly now that he’s closer to you. “It’s… been a while.” He spoke, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I’m glad you took the time to come here, I hope your trip to Mondstadt was alright.”

He didn’t mean to be so formal, but he knows people are watching. 

“It’s been a while as well, Kamisato.” You replied, not noticing how hurt flashes through his eyes from how you called him by his surname as you look at Chisato, who gave you a polite smile. “You must be the lucky bride, I’m–” 

“( Name ), right?” The woman interrupts, and despite being so close to you, Ayato felt so distant. “I’ve heard so much about you! Ayato here told me how you two were best friends for such a long time! I’m honored to meet you, I’m Hiiragi Chisato.” 

He wanted more than just best friends. 

Ayato sees the way you looked confused despite your attempts to hide it. Even after years of not seeing you, you’re still so easy to read like a book – or his favorite book, rather. 

You then spoke. “Yes. I’m honored to meet you as well, Miss Chisato. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay here – Mondstadt’s a beautiful place for a wedding.” 

A wedding that should’ve been yours and I, Ayato thought solemnly as Chisato giggled. “Oh I know. Ayato couldn’t stop telling me about how he had always wanted to get married in Mondstadt,” She suddenly wraps her arms around his, and he feels the urge to disappear from the look on your face. He felt so suffocated. “And how could I say no to this man? I’m glad I didn’t, the hotel surely made me amazed.” She adds.

The look you have on your face instantly washes away, letting out a light laugh. “Ah I see. Oh, I forgot to mention!” He watched as you gestured to the man standing beside you.  “This is my plus one, Zhongli. He’s my close friend and neighbor in Liyue.” You explained as Zhongli lightly bows at the couple, and Ayato couldn’t help but have his suspicions grow now that the man is closer. Where have I seen this man before? He wonders.

“Pleased to meet you both. I’d like to send my congratulations on your wedding.” Zhongli spoke smoothly. 

Ayato dares not to show his suspicion, humming in acknowledgement. “You have our gratitude, Mr. Zhongli. Though, I can’t help but point out how you look… familiar. Have we perhaps met before?” 

He pays no mind to the way you raised an eyebrow at his words as Zhongli clears his throat with a polite smile. “Ah well, I don’t think I recall. You must’ve mistaken me for another.” The brown-haired man spoke. 

Liar, Ayato thought, but before he could persist, he was instantly interrupted by Chisato, who got excited at the sight of other familiar faces nearby. 

“Oh Ayato, look! Your parents have arrived at last, we should greet them!” She said excitedly, not noticing the way her future husband’s breath hitches. “Excuse me for a moment. I hope you guys will enjoy your stay!”

“Likewise, Miss Chisato. We’ll be going to our room then.” You said with a smile, and Ayato could tell it was tense – probably due to the worries of getting possibly called out by them that you’re his ex. 

He couldn’t help but wonder what could’ve been if you were the one who’s getting married to him.

“...I’ll be going now as well,” The blue haired man spoke, his polite smile threatening to falter as thoughts of you plague his mind like always. “It’s nice seeing you again… ( Name).” 

Without another word, he left to follow Chisato, leaving you and your plus one alone together.

He wasn’t sure if there would ever be the day when you’d call him by his name from now on.

For the next few days, Ayato’s encounters with you are far from pleasant. They’re more-so tense, as if you two are strangers who are forced to get along with one another, as if you two are people with no chemistry. 

It hurts, but this is on him. 

He wanted to talk to you right away and come clean, but with the tasks he had to do for the wedding, it seems he won’t be able to talk to you any time soon much to his dismay. 

By the time he did have the time to come up to your room one afternoon, he felt hesitant. 

It took him perhaps 30 minutes as he stands in front of your hotel room, reciting the words in his head that will soon escape from his lips once he sees your face. It honestly made him remember the old days when he used to stand in front of your class trying to find the right words to use to invite you out for lunch with him – that’s how much you affect the so-called perfect Kamisato heir, leaving him at a loss for words at your waking moment. 

When he gains the courage to ring the doorbell, the person who opens the door is not the one he’s looking for.

“...Good afternoon, Mister Kamisato.” Zhongli greeted, and Ayato felt disappointed that it wasn’t you who he saw. “May I help you?” 

Ayato smiles politely. Oh well, you’re probably doing something in the room. “...Is ( Name ) here?” He asks. 

His heart sank when Zhongli shook his head in response. “Unfortunately not. They’re outside hanging out with Miss Miko and Miss Shogun.” 

They must’ve explored around the city after their lunch, Ayato assumes, regaining his facade once more when he realizes that his smile slightly dropped. “Oh.. I see.. I was hoping I was going to talk to them about something..” Ayato supposes he can talk to you another time. 

As if reading his mind, Zhongli then spoke. “You can visit again tomorrow. From what I remember, ( Name ) won’t be having any plans in mind on that day.” 

The blue haired man nods slowly. “I understand, thank you for telling me.” 

Despite planning on walking away, Ayato’s feet are glued to the floor, debating whether or not he should continue talking to your dear friend. 

“If… I may be bold to ask, what’s your relationship with ( Name )?” He asks. 

Zhongli tilts his head. Although you have already spoken about him being your close friend, Ayato couldn’t help but feel the urge to ask about his relationship with you – mainly because of how the other man seems to be more than what meets the eye. “...( Name ) and I are neighbors. We’ve been friends ever since they traveled to Liyue.”

“I see,” Ayato murmured, shoulders slowly relaxed when he thought of how you became friends with someone as soon as you arrived in Liyue. “...I take it that they’re doing well in Liyue?” 

“Why don’t you ask ( Name ) that when you try to talk to them tomorrow?” Zhongli retorts. “I’m sure they’re willing to tell you. That is.. If you have good intentions when you come up to them.” 

Ayato felt surprised. How bold, he thought. It’s reasonable though, especially when he had hurt you enough. “You’re a good friend, Mister Zhongli. Rest assured that I don’t have any ill intentions towards ( Name ).” Nor do I intend to, he thought. “I shall not waste your time any longer, thank you for providing some answers for me. I just want to..” He hesitates for a moment. “...know how they’ve been.” 

“It’s no problem, Mr. Kamisato.” Zhongli nods. “Have a good day.”

The next day, Ayato had plenty of encounters with you. 

However, said encounters didn’t involve him talking to you. Not when he often sees the infamous Diluc Ragnvindr with you. 

How on earth did you two know each other? He questioned. It isn’t out of jealousy, of course, but out of curiosity. Seeing how awkward the both of you look with one another, it seems that you have only known each other recently. 

He always sees the both of you by the dining room of the hotel, the convenience store where he saw you snatch the last grape juice away in front of the tycoon while he was waiting for his boba to be served, the gym,

And by the lobby, where everything just went wrong.

Ayato managed to see you walking towards the elevator alone, and he was debating on whether or not right now is the best time to talk to you. 

When he notices you catching him staring, he doesn't feel any shame or embarrassment, just agonized when he sees the way your face drops and looks away from his direction. 

He then decides to walk towards you, thinking that if he won’t confront you now, then when? 

But today was not his day, it seems. 

As you try to walk away, you accidentally bump into someone, causing Ayato to instantly rush over and hold you back from falling to the floor, your back facing him. He ignores how the person that bumped into you walked away, too distracted from the fact that he has you in his hold. 

How long has it been since he held you?

“...Mr. Kamisato.” You spoke, and without hesitation you took a few steps away from him with a small frown, something he didn’t fail to notice. 

He dares not to look hurt. “..Are you alright?” He asks, glancing behind him to try and look for the person who bumped into you, only to be dismayed when he sees no one among the crowd. How dare they bump into you and not apologize? 

“It’s a good thing I managed to catch up, it’d be a shame if my guest became injured during such a special occasion–”

“Thank you,” You interrupted, and he quickly shut his mouth. It’s as clear as the day that you’re uninterested to talk, but he couldn’t find himself to leave you again. “I apologize for disturbing you with my recklessness, I’ll be going no–”

He stops you just as you try to take another step to walk away. “Do you mind if…” He hesitates. “If you and I could talk for a while?” 

You turned around to look at him. “..Talk about.. What?”

Ayato felt a bit taken back. Of course you wouldn’t assume he’s going to talk about the past, not when he had avoided it back then. “About… us back then. I would like to apologize for what I did to you.” He explains slowly. He’s here to apologize, not to tell you how much he misses you. 

Even when forgiveness is out of his reach, he still wants you to know that he regrets it and would never forget it. 

“...Why now…?” You spoke. 

His eyes widened. “...Pardon?”

You move your hand away from his grip right away, and his heart sank. He remembers how much he suffers in silence back then in college, how much he wanted nothing more but to run to your arms every time you tried to come up to him, how much he always wanted you to be the one who has his ring and no one else, how much he want to see you again even when he could’ve go to Liyue with the snap of his fingers, and to remove the pained look that your eyes hold that he caused.

Why did it have to be like this?

It was evident that he has to face the fact that he still refuses to move on.

“Did… Did you expect me to easily forgive you, Mr. Kamisato?” You spoke shakily, your eyes refusing to meet his. His face drops from your explanation, leaving him speechless. 

However, before he could try to reply, someone suddenly interrupts the conversation.

“Ayato, my son!” 

Ayato shuts up when he hears his father’s voice, the words that were stuck in his throat disappear at once. Why did he have to appear now?

As Mr. Kamisato chats with you, the thoughts that ran through Ayato’s head was nothing but how much he wants to take you somewhere private as he watches the way you look even more overwhelmed.

He isn’t sure which one he despises, the way he holds a little despise towards his own parents or the way he knows that you’ll start avoiding him more now that you know his intentions – as if this is his punishment for avoiding you for so long during college.

Either way, he knows he doesn’t deserve you. 

The rest of the conversation you have with his father was all a blur, it only stopped when he realizes you’re trying to stop the conversation with his father. 

“Indeed they did, I should uhm.. I should get along now, I forgot that I have an appointment that’s due.” You spoke, not noticing how Ayato sees the way your hands started to get fidgety. 

He’ll help you, his apology can wait. 

Before his father could say a word, Ayato finally talked. “I can escort you if you’d like. I’m on my way towards the elevator as well.” 

“Ah, let’s not bother Mx. ( Last Name ), son.” Mr. Kamisato spoke immediately, eyeing at your direction with a concerned look. “I’m sure Mx. ( Last Name ) can go to where they need to be without you. We wouldn’t want people to misunderstand the situation if they ever see you two together, right?” 

Ayato shoots his father a frown. Of course his father prioritizes reputation, but why can’t he just realize that you’d rather be somewhere else than here?

Before the CEO could protest, he realizes someone is now standing behind you. 

“...Mx. ( Last Name ).” 

His eyes widen when he hears a familiar voice. 

“...Mr. Ragnvindr.” You breathe out, turning around to see the red-haired man. Ayato couldn’t help but wonder about Diluc's motives – it’s unusual for the aloof tycoon like this – especially with the way he looks at you differently. 

“Oh? It seems you know Mx. ( Last Name ), Mr. Ragnvindr.” Ayato’s father spoke up, his shoulders relaxed. “How unexpected, if I may be so bold to comment.”

Diluc hums in response. “Indeed we have. We actually just met a few days ago outside the hotel. We’re planning on visiting the.. Restaurant upstairs to get to know each other more.” 

Ayato’s eyes slightly widens – Wait, are they– 

The red-haired man clears his throat immediately. “As friends, of course.”

The CEO looks in your direction to see if you’re uncomfortable with Diluc’s presence, only to see you laugh lightly.  “Uhm, yes.. I was actually going upstairs to meet up with Mr; Ragnvindr there! B-But it seems I must’ve taken quite a while from how.. I was carried away with the conversation I had with you guys.” You explained. From the way you talked, it’s no lie that you’re definitely making it up, and you now have someone who can take you to your room.

As long as you’re alright, then who is he to try and ruin your chance?

A stiff smile grew on his face. “I see.. I shouldn’t take your time too long then,” He then gives Diluc an acknowledged nod. “I hope you have fun. Shall we take our leave now, father?”

Ayato’s father nodded right away. “Of course. I had a pleasant time with you, Mx. ( Last Name ).” 

You nodded in response with a small smile. “I had a… pleasant time as well, Mr. Kamisato, as well as Mr. Ayato Kamisato.” 

Without another word, the four of you went away to the opposite directions. 

As soon as Ayato and his father went to a less crowded area, he felt his father’s eyes bore on him with a warning look on his face.

“Be careful next time, Ayato.” He whispers, eyeing around the room cautiously. “If one of them finds out about ( Last Name ), who knows what they’ll do. So if you’re trying to talk to them, find a better way and a private place.”

The light in Ayato’s eyes dims, remembering the reason why all of this is happening in the first place. “...I apologize, father.” 

His father lets out a sigh, looking at where you had left with Diluc. “It’s… alright. Just make sure to be more careful – for both their sake and our family’s.” 

With his father’s words taken to heart, Ayato indeed found a way to talk to you in private.

Today is September 27, the day before the joint bachelor and bachelorette party, and the groom decides to use the opportunity to talk to you while everyone else is scrambling to prepare for the upcoming event.

Just like before, there were multiple times when he encountered you. 

He meets you in the morning whereas he spots you taking a stroll in the hotel’s garden area peacefully. His stomach flips at the sound of your light laughter from something your friend is saying, whose smile is as wide as yours.

He feels grateful that you have someone like Zhongli to hang out with, but he still felt a bit suspicious of the man. 

Not wanting to ruin your peaceful time, he decided to just try and talk to you when he meets you again next time. 

Said next time happened in the buffet room. While Ayato was eating lunch with Thoma, he noticed you walking by with your meal. He was about to excuse himself and try to come up to you until his best man started bringing up questions regarding the party tomorrow while not noticing your presence, leaving the groom no choice but to keep his excuse silent and answer all of the blonde-haired man’s questions. 

When Ayato finished answering, he tried to excuse himself again, only this time he stopped when he saw you talking to some of your friends with a huge smile on your face, something he never sees when you talk to him this week, as you take a bite of your favorite food (that was somehow available in the buffet)

Nevertheless, he feels happy to see that you still like to eat your favorite food, but he wanted Itto, who’s with you by the table, to stop snatching some of your food away to eat it.

Not wanting to ruin your conversation with your old friends, he decided to try and talk to you when he meets you again next time.  

The next time he sees you, the both of you are in a cafe called Cat’s Tail. While he’s sitting by the corner of the cafe alone, he notices you entering the cafe alone, making a beeline towards the cash register to get your order.

He observes you without you noticing his presence. He thought to himself that if you end up staying in the cafe, he’ll try to come up to you and sit across from you to come clean.

Much to his relief, you went towards one of the tables and sat there. 

He feels a bit nostalgic that the table you went to is similar to your favorite spot back in Komore’s Cafe from Inazuma, he could still remember back when he always sat across from you as you try to study for upcoming quizzes and exams. For the past years since you had left, he simply stays by your favorite spot every time he visits the cafe, hoping that one day if faith isn’t cruel, he gets to see you instead of an empty chair in front of him. 

Before Ayato could stand up to come up to you, he stops himself when he sees an employee walking towards him with his order. He’s grateful that his name wasn’t called, given that it’d make you become aware that he’s in the same room as you. 

Reluctantly, he decided to not go to you just yet, not wanting to be seen as rude to the server who’s completely oblivious.

By the time the server was finished and took her leave, Ayato instantly looks at where you are, only to see you walking out from the cafe with your order in hand. 

Not wanting to ruin your small break, he decides to try and talk to you when he meets you again next time. 

The next time he meets you, it’s now in the elevator. 

He was on his way up to your hotel room when you suddenly entered the floor, all the words he had in his mind went on the verge to disappear – this time, he made sure not to forget. 

This time, Ayato made sure to no longer push this aside for “next time” and finally talk to you.

Meanwhile, your mind goes blank as soon as you realize who was in front of you, not expecting Ayato out of all people to be in the same elevator as you. 

There’s no going back now, you thought to yourself before awkwardly entering the platform, and the blue-haired man took a few steps on the side to give you space.

If there was another person in the same elevator as the both of you, then the tense atmosphere would surely be as clear as glass. 

“...I apologize if our encounter last time made you uncomfortable, ( Name ).” He broke the silence a few seconds after the elevator closed. “I only wanted to discuss important matters with you, but… it seems that I should have known my boundaries and try harder in taking my father away before he could bother you more.” 

You slightly get tense as your mind calculates your response, refusing to look at your ex. “...It’s alright.. I’m guessing you still want to talk about us back then..?”

Ayato nods slowly, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I do.” 

He sees the way your shoulders slumps, and he immediately wants to take his word back. “But seeing how I’m too late for that, it’s understandable if you don’t want to.” 

You became quiet for a few seconds. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous– did he take it too far? Did he do it at a bad time? Would you hear him out?

“This is… late.” You comment carefully. “I don’t know what even made you think today out of all the years you could’ve talked to me is the best time to do it, but if it helps you with your wedding, then do as you please. Just don’t assume I’d forgive you now..” 

He hesitated for a moment and let out a light sigh. 

“What Chisato and I have is… an arranged marriage.” What she and I have is nothing compared to what you and I had, he thought. 

.

.

.

You stayed silent after that. Even when you had a few seconds before a “ding!” is heard, even when the elevator opens and displays the number of your floor, even when Ayato stares at you with a desperate look on his face – wanting you to at least give a reaction instead of this – you didn’t say anything no matter what. 

It was only when you turned around to face him after walking out from the elevator, and he couldn’t recognize you with that look on your face, not when he hasn’t seen it for so long since college.

“I don’t want your apology.” You said, your voice grew soft. “Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever done… and I want to move on now.” Pain flashes through your eyes as Ayato’s heart shatters at this moment, the elevator suddenly starts closing.

You suddenly stopped it from closing, wanting to say more as the elevator reopens itself. “That woman you’re getting married to loves you – she looks at you the way I do and I’m sure you will be happier with her than with me.” 

He opens his mouth, only for you to silent him by shaking your head in dismay. “Whether or not you disagree with me, it doesn’t matter. It’s too late for you and I to even consider going back to the way we used to be, so you might as well just try to be happier in your wedding instead.” 

You noticed how the elevator starts closing, causing you to take it as your cue to leave. “Be happy, Kamisato Ayato. That’s the only thing I ask from you.” 

Just like that, the elevator was close shut, leaving the CEO alone with his thoughts and shattered heart filled with regret. 

The look on your face that will haunt his mind from now on has reminded him of a certain incident before, specifically the day that made you finally come to terms and stop talking to your ex. 

“This is different,” He interrupts. “You are different.” 

You scoffed. “What does she have that I don’t? Is it the money? Her reputation? Her company?!” 

He stays silent for a moment, and despite being with him for so many years, his expression right now is something you have never seen before. 

“My love.” 

Those words are enough to make your eyes widen as your breath hitches.

“...What do you mean?” You breathe out, watching as something flashes through his eyes when he realizes what he said. It must’ve been a regret for confessing what he said. 

“Unlike you,” He hesitates for a moment before letting out a sigh of defeat, “she has my love.” 

It took a few minutes for you to process what he had just said, when it did, you felt like the whole world – your own world –  was crashing down around you. 

That was all a lie, ( Name ). Ayato thought, his head hung low as the elevator started moving towards his floor. You’re different from her or anyone else. You have my love.

He suddenly clutches to his chest, the aching in his heart was something he knew he will have to get used to. And it seems it’ll be like this forever.

Ayato is always prepared. 

But the two things he didn’t prepare for was you coming to his life

and letting you go.

As the elevator closed shut, you felt like your knees became jelly, overwhelmed by your discovery as you tried to hold it all together. 

You knew you should’ve stayed in Liyue. 

You stayed there for what felt like an hour, when in reality you’re just there for a few minutes, staring down at the elevator in helplessness. 

For some odd reason, you feel like a burden – big or small, it doesn't matter anymore – has been lifted off from your shoulders. Could this be because you now know what you wished to know for so long? Or the fact that you now know that Ayato isn’t who you thought he was and is on the same page as you all along?

Whatever it may be, you could only wish that he will be a happy man,

Because if his marriage goes downhill, then all the pain and heartbreak you went through would’ve been a waste. 

PREVIOUS || NEXT

#ayato x reader #ayato x gn reader #kamisato ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x gn reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact x reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin impact x gn reader #ayato x gn!reader #genshin ayato x gn reader #diluc x reader #diluc x gn reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc ragnvindr x gn reader #genshin x reader series #genshin x gn reader series #genshin angst #genshin angst series #genshin modern au #diluc x gender neutral reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #ayato x gender neutral reader #ayato x reader angst #diluc x reader angst #genshin x reader angst

[remembertheplunge]

so funny that i saw your post about the importance and beauty of the written letter last night, as i just had the opportunity to write my own for the first time im forever! my close friend moved to pittsburgh from philly and asked if i wanted to be penpals, and when i received her first letter a few days ago it was so exciting i sat right down and wrote a response right after reading it. the joy that kind of connection brings (especially to someone i can no longer see regularly) cant be understated. my hand was cramping by the end haha but it was awesome! i love your blog, i dont personally have many gay peers and especially not people older than me. getting such an intimate look at your life, our similarities and differences, and the perspective you now have on your past is incredibly touching. thank you for being here!

Thank you for your kind words about my blog. My journal entries have sort of been letters to myself. They were unsent letters until about a year ago when my blog was born. It's great to hear from you that they connect you with the gay community a bit more. And that they give you some perspective on your own life via my insights on my own.

I love your story about writing the letter to your friend who had moved away. Writing is cathartic when the pen crosses the page. You have to think about how you are going to compose it. You are basically doing a journal entry that you are going to publish to one person. It shows that person how much you care.

#journal #journaling #writing #letter writing #blogging #gay #journal entry as unsent letter #letter as journal entry posted to one person #3/28/2024

[invui]

welcome to my writing blog!

yo! this is my humble abode in tumblr! in this blog you will be seeing fics and headcannons for different fandoms, i might also be posting tips in different areas where im experienced in. there will be posts about my shenanigans so please don’t mind it unless if you find any interest in the fandom!

fandoms that my blog will be focusing on

genshin impact, nijisanji en, your turn to die, sk8 the infinity, devil butler with black cat, ensemble stars

tags that i will be using

#🧺—[yin combust arc] - the writer’s shenanigans

#🍅—[kazu’s writings] - written works made by me

#🍋—[shin’s answers] - my answers to my inbox questions

#🥐—[doodleyoodie] - art and edits

#🥖—[yin’s oc] - ocs created by yours truly

#🍒—[shin’s interests] - my interests and the first tag of sia

#🍇—[yin’s immersion] - the 2nd tag of self indulgence area/sia

prompts

alphabet prompt list

question starters

masterlist and rules

important announcements

devil butler with black cat

nijisanji en

self indulgence area / sia

queue for upcoming works

are you serious? - ammon lead x reader/hs au (oneshot)

aknk modern au - second floor (headcannons & opinions)

sweet surprise - alban x reader (oneshot)

don’t tell anyone about this - boschi arenas x reader (oneshot)

being penpals with luxiem and noctyx! (series)

sorrowful bliss - haures clifford x reader/vamp au (full oneshot ver.)

note: some of these are yet to be written and not final

list of anons

yamino anon

#akuneko #devil butler with black cat #あくねこ #nijisanji #nijisanji en #luxiem #luxiem x reader #noctyx #noctyx x reader #sk8 the infinity #sk8

[movietonight]

3 questions for the AMA game:

First episode you remember watching and why?

Top Klinger outfits?

Picture a stereotypical teen girl movie where she has a poster of a band member in her room. You have to have a poster of a M*A*S*H character in your room, who do you pick?

(Love your blog btw! My first episode I watched was one with Klinger in a baseball uniform that we inexpicably watched in a high school history class, but the one I first watched with family was "quo vadis captain chandler?" :D )

Thank you!!

1) I'm pretty sure I started with either the pilot or gfa (my blog archive is a little vague on that) but I think I started watching the show because it was recommended to me by an online penpal as a really iconic TV American show and I decided to just give it a go and looked it up (completely unaware there were reruns on TV until months after)

2) Wait I think I still have a picture of my favourite

10/10 would wear that. Shout out also to the Scarlett O'Hara dress and that one really really pink outfit.

3) Hawkeye my best friend Hawkeye (it's important that the picture of him looks as haunted, traumatised and or dishevelled as possible)

#mash #Asks

[havenkiosk]

8 days — Hello, introvert speaking...

Some people have friends that stick with them from school. Some have cousins they are close to. Some have siblings who never fall out of their life's boundaries even if there are ups and downs in their relationship. Some have colleagues that are like family. Some or all of these in their everyday lives... People find their tribe.

I miss having my handful of loved ones (peers) geographically close to me, and more in my daily (or at least weekly) life. I've tried in my own small ways to re-ignite old friendships and to make new ones, but most people already have their seemingly ringfenced tribes.

In the late 90s and early 2000s, virtual friends (penpals, blogs) were a great support system and a couple of them became very important in-person connections too. A part of me still romanticises that time and craves connections via that realm. 

I'm aware I might need different tribes for different needs. Feeling tentative, though, as I gather the impetus to dive into this more actively in the in-person realm.

#40daysto40 #friendships #connections

[iread-studies]

98/100 dop

11.09.2022 || Today I sold my high school ancient greek dictionary!!! Finally!!! I've been wanting to get rid of it for years!!! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest and I smile every time I look at its empty spot in the library.

I also made some progress in creating the listings for my secondhand clothes :) All around a day dedicated to getting rid of my old stuff, haha.

But now I need to get down to business and do other important stuff before the weekend is over and my 925 life starts anew:

Weave in ends to the bookmark for my friend

Take a picture of said bookmark for Ravelry

Write a post for my travel blog, Special Edition

Study German. Mainly, study flashcards, watch 1 Sissi Folge, write 1 email to prospective German penpals in German

Finish writing the descriptions of the clothes that I want to sell

Find a way to wash my slippers because I usually buy a new pair every year but A that's wasteful and B I love these ones and will wear them to my grave

Not on this order particularly. I can't think of anything else so I'd better get going!

AH. Figure out what I'll do once the 100 dop challenge is over.

#minimalism #decluttering #100 dop #100 days of productivity #100 days of journaling #studyblr #knitting #langblr

[bertbetripping]

Korea 2022 - Prep ‘n stuff

Tomorrow is the day! On the 10th of September me and Sadea will fly to Korea for 3 weeks! On here I will share some ways we have planned our trip, encouraged by friends and colleagues who said this might be helpful to them and others. Sadea might also blog over here; sadeainkorea.blogspot.com and I too had a blog in 2012 in Dutch; meneerbert.waarbenjij.nu In 2012 we both visited South Korea together with our friend Samantha. We had several penpals from South Korea at that point, so we planned to meet them that summer. We were also big fans of Korean pop. Initially we had planned to see the television music shows, but in the end we decide against it and instead focus on enjoying Seoul, Daegu and Busan. Now 10 years later we are visiting South Korea again. We are planning a daring trip, visiting 8-10 cities in 3 weeks’ time. So we made a schedule and everything, which we hope will work for us and I’ll record here on my blog what the actual experience was. Cause, you know, we’re by no means experts.

Planning For this trip we first planned the cities we’re visiting. We checked the public transport for them and drew it out on a map and created a spread sheet with a rough estimate of when we want to go where. As well as marking things as a ‘stay’ or a ‘day trip’. As you can tell, Jeju did not make it onto our schedule this time. We planned some less traveled places for tourism, such as Jeonju, Gwangju, Mokpo, Yeosu, Jinju and Pohang. The map is made in google’s MyMaps, it is available here. 

Above is the schedule in which we eventually added the time of all the hotel check-ins and check-outs. The days of the week and dates and the map overview. Before that we obvious had to find our hotels. For this we both made lists of hotels we liked on booking.com, agoda.com, some discount website that was available via Thuisbezorgd. We saw we had discount at booking.com via our creditcards as well! Then we met and decided on all the hotels and booked them.

Unlike 2012 we booked mostly hotels this time around. Sometimes separate rooms, but mostly rooms with twin beds. Sadea added which had breakfast inclused and which didn’t. All the costs are totalled at the bottom of the spreadsheet and we settled the differences that we paid.  On the same page we made an estimate of most other costs we might make. Busses, train, sights, attractions and food.

You can browse the spreadsheet and all its tabs over here. Planning like this is not for everyone and its not needed, but it gived me peace of mind I’ve everything planned out. The first tab the spreadsheet opens on is emergency info, which is also for family so they know what time we are at which place. 

Important on that page is that we’re gathered the addresses in Korean so that when we need help finding our accomodation, people have an easier time understanding the adresses.  It also has a packing list, a food list and a places to visit list. The latter I used very little, because I like to mark things on Google Maps. Only to find out that we cant use Google Maps because it doesnt provide directions in Korea. So I’ve transferred most of my marked locations to Naver Maps.

My most favorite thing about naver maps is that it has streetview that’s 100x better than 

I’ve gone though some travel guides and blogs and marked the things I like on the map. For some cities I’m reading this blog called Colonial Korea and it’s been an eye-opener. I hope it will give me more appreciation for cities people have been saying are not worth our time. So far we’re just looking forward to all the food haha. Tomorrow is our flight.  Like sadea would say ‘awwww yeaaaaaa’.

[levi-supreme]

Who are your favorite mutuals? And why?

Hi anon!!!! I'm so sorry for getting to this so late!!!!

Before I start I just want to make a disclaimer that I love all my friends, whether or not you follow me only on my main/this blog, or both. I love all of you equally and I apologise if you aren't mentioned here ;~~~~;

Also, I have some friends who only follow me on my main blog so I will not mention them in this post to be fair.

And lastly, I prefer using the word 'friend' over 'mutual'. I consider us as friends even though we aren't 'mutuals' <3

In no particular order of preference (long post ahead):

Anon/Honesty Hour

1. Fern @levi-lover

Fern's my twinnie and they're the reason why I started this writing blog. We used to share thirsts and headcanons of Levi privately and Fern actually encouraged me to start posting my own writings, and here I am!! Levi-supreme wouldn't exist without them and I am so so happy to have known my amazing twinnie. From an internet friend to irl penpals that exchanges parcels, I love Fern so damn much and I hope I'll have the chance to meet them someday.

2. Maple @thehouseofmaple

Maple's one of the first few friends I've known from tumblr and I love her. We've been through a dark time together and I am glad I was there for her during one of her toughest times. She always poisons me with a lot of Erwin and Mike thirsts (see my Thirsty Thursday master list XD) and the things that she requests from me are all top quality thoughts. We share a common love for the Rengoku men (and also Giyuu HAHA) and I love my onee-san so much.

3. Joey @axoxtxhxh

Joey is honestly one of the biggest gifts I have from joining tumblr. We share a common love for The Veterans and we have so many common interests and preferences. Joey's an incredible writer and I love all of her works. She also gives me great advice with regard to writing and also in life. Joey is the older sister I never had and I love and look up to her so much. Her dedication and passion for writing motivate me to be organised and to be better as well. Joey is also the only person I will gladly call Mrs Zacharias.

4. Mia @ack3rlady

Mia is also another precious jewel I treasure close to my heart. We are so similar in many ways and somehow we always have this unspoken and unexplainable chemistry between us. We share the same love for The Veterans as well, and she's the one and only Mrs Smith I will ever acknowledge. I poisoned Mia with the concept of self-shipping and now she fuels me to write potentially embarrassing and self-indulgent self-ship writings. I love her and I will never ever cease the self-shipping fun with her. We are the Smiths vs Ackermans.

4. Tsuki @hashaneeee

Tsuki is the yin to my yang, and my source of Levi poison. She's an amazing artist and an even greater friend. She listens to my thirsts over Levi every single day and she returns the favour by poisoning me back. She also gets my undying thirst for Eren and embraces my inner Eren hoe. Tsuki is incredibly patient and draws my commissions with so much love. I love and appreciate her for being such an important friend.

5. Suz @ackerpotato and Michi @peachysimp

My two darling younger sisters deserve a huge shoutout from me!! The story of how we became friends is nothing short of an unplanned and unexplainable coincidence. The three of us are of the same ethnicity and speak the same language. We even have the same experiences growing up even though I'm halfway across the globe from them. Suz gets my love for durian and Michi and I have mirroring dimples. I love them like they indeed are my younger sisters.

6. Sorcha @deludedimagines

I've admired Sorcha's writings and her blog for a long time but I was too shy to approach and talk to her. Somehow a miracle happened and we became friends and started talking to each other. Sorcha is an angel and one of the kindest and sweetest people I ever had the fortune of meeting. I am so incredibly honoured to have a friend like her and I treasure this friendship so much.

7. Anlian @anlian-aishang

Like Sorcha, I've been a silent reader of Anlian's work for a long time as well. And by a twist of fate, we became friends too. I had such a major 'senpai noticed me!!!!!' phase when we started talking to each other and even till today, I am still in awe that I can call such a talented person my friend. Anlian is amazing and dedicated in everything she does and how I wish I had a tenth of her talent in writing.

8. Hera @katsuhera

I love Hera and she's my beloved younger sister as well. She's such an incredible writer and I love all her works, including those that are not written for SNK and Genshin Impact. I squeal all the time I see Hera calling me 'unnie' and how I wish I had a dongsaeng like her too. Hera shares my thirst for the men of Genshin Impact and I love her so freaking much. I am manifesting for Childe to materialise and hit her up in the club.

9. Jo @wortverlust

Jo is godsent. Her artwork is god tier amazing and she is so friendly and sweet. She embraces all of my embarrassing and horny tag screaming on my reblogs of her amazing work. Another person who made me channel the 'senpai noticed me!!!!!!' vibes when we became friends. I love Jo and everything that she does, and I am so thankful to have such a talented and amazing friend.

10. Kat @ryukatters

Kat is a sweetheart. She's the first person I ever commissioned a drawing for and the art she drew was fantastic, it left me screaming and crying. I love Kat's artwork and her writing. Kat's writings satisfy my inner Eren hoe all the damn time and I love her so much. I'm stealing her away from Eren and we'll live out our cottagecore life eating bibimbap and listening to BTS and SHINee.

Also a shoutout to some of you whom I haven't been talking much, I'm sorry and I will drop by all of your inboxes soon!!!!!! <3 @alert-arlert @starstruckkittensweets @peace-for-levi @lacheri @astridthevalkyrie @cherrykamado and a lot more whom I'm too shy to mention (>//<) xoxo to all of you!!!!

#anon.asks #rei.answers #cw: long post #verbal diarrhoea strikes i'm sorry

[waywardnerd67]

Fan Mail

Summary: Jensen has been penpals with a fan for his entire career. Now he wants to meet her to tell her his true feelings for her. He is in for a great surprise to find out who she truly is. Characters: Jensen Ackles, Reader Pairing: Jensen x Reader Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1706 Prompt: “A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.” -- Winston Churchill A/N: @spnfanficpond​ Unfic Challenge

(Y/N), I’m sitting in my trailer after wrapping for the last time on Supernatural and I really wish you were here with me. You’ve been my constant companion, my friend throughout all my career and it’s hard to believe we have never met. I want to fix that. I would like to invite you to the Supernatural wrap party in Vancouver. You don’t have to worry about any of the expenses because I will cover them for you. All you have to worry about is bringing you amazing, beautiful self here. I know it’s not a lot of notice which is why I am overnighting this letter to you. Below is my number, just send me a text with your answer. I really want to meet you, (Y/N). It would mean the world to me. Talk to you soon. -J

She reread the letter a few times leaning against the counter. (Y/N) quickly folded the letter and slipped it into her back pocket when the trailer door swung open. The deep, infectious laugh of Jared Padalecki filled the air bringing an instant smile to her face.

“(Y/N)! My favorite person in the whole world!” Jared wrapped his long arms around her and hugged her tight.

She started laughing as he let go of her and flopped down into a chair, “Jared I don’t know if anyone has told you but we wrapped a week ago. You’re supposed to be packing your apartment up to move back home. What are you doing in my chair?”

“My apartment is done and Jensen is sulking around his. I need some sunshine in my life and figured you might need some help packing up the trailer.” His hazel eyes looked around the trailer fondly staring at the wall of photos featuring different looks throughout the years.

(Y/N) smiled softly, “Well I could definitely use your height to get some of the boxes down from our overhead storage.,” she pointed up as he smiled back at her.

After a few hours, (Y/N) and Jared had the whole make-up trailer packed up. An overwhelming sadness tightened around her chest knowing this would be the last time she would ever be inside the trailer of her favorite show. As she turned to look to Jared, she watched in horror as his eyes were skimming a familiar piece of paper. She quickly slid her hand into her back pocket confirming he was indeed reading Jensen’s letter to her.

“Jared…” she said as he looked up at her with his mouth gaping open.

“You’re her! I knew it! I told Jensen it was you. What are the chances that two girls in his life would have the same name. I can’t believe it.” His excitement only made her panic more.

She stepped towards him with her shaking hand reaching for the letter, “Please Jared… just give me the letter.”

He held the letter above his head where she could not reach it, “You’re gonna tell him, right? (Y/N), tell me you’re going to tell him.”

She shook her head, “I-I can’t…”

“(Y/N), you have to tell him. He is moping around his apartment because the wrap party is tomorrow night and hasn’t heard from you. I’ve never seen him like this.” The concern in Jared’s voice made her heart flutter slightly.

He handed her the note and pulled her into a hug, “Between you and me, I think you’re exactly what he needs in his life right now.”

Jared kissed her temple and walked out the trailer door. (Y/N) let out a breath burning within her chest before slumping into one of the chairs and allowing the tears she held to flow freely. After a few minutes, she gathered her things and made her way out to her car. Looking back at the trailer one last time, (Y/N) drove to her apartment downtown. As soon as she was home, she went into her closet pulling out the small chest that held hundreds of letters from Jensen.

She never thought writing a fan letter would put her life on the course it was currently traveling. It started when she tore her ACL at eighteen and ended up watching Days of our Lives as she healed. Instantly, she fell for the blond hair Eric Brady and found that all the actors had a PO Box they received fan letters from. Taking a chance, she wrote Jensen a letter and from there they struck up a friendship. She followed his entire career and he followed her throughout college then theatrical make-up school. When she landed a job on Supernatural, she came face to face with the man who held her heart. Though, he never knew she was the (Y/N) he would write too. Her mail was forwarded from her home in L.A. to Vancouver making Jensen none the wiser that she was his penpal.

(Y/N), Wouldn’t it be amazing if you got a job on Supernatural. I know it would be a long shot, but then we could see each other all the time. It would be nice to have someone other than Jared to hang out with up here. 9 months out of the year with him gets old. I could even take you for a ride in Baby just don’t judge her on how she sounds because it’s not as cool as it is on tv. How did apartment hunting in LA go? Looking forward to your next letter. -J

(Y/N) sat on her bed with the chest open and added Jensen’s latest letter to it. She grabbed her phone pulling up her text thread with Jensen and sent him a message before losing her nerve.

“Hey Jensen, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out and have dinner at my place? Something I need to talk to you about.”

His reply was immediate, “Be there in 30.”

(Y/N) ordered from their favorite Mexican place that would cater on set and anxiously paced around until there was a knock on her door. As she opened it, Jensen was standing next to a delivery man chuckling. He quickly pulled out his wallet and paid for the meal before she could say anything.

Stepping aside, he walked inside looking around her living room. (Y/N) grabbed the bag with their food and made her way towards the kitchen, “Make yourself at home. Would you like a beer?”

“Sure. Thanks for inviting me over. I was looking for an excuse not to pack up my apartment.” Jensen’s deep voice sent goosebumps all over her body.

She took a deep breath before grabbing two beers, a couple of plates and their food. They sat in her living room eating and reminiscing about their time on Supernatural. Conversation between them was natural and easy flowing like water. Once they were done eating and both of them were onto their second beer a comfortable silence fell between them.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Jensen leaned back into her couch and placed his feet up on her coffee table.

(Y/N) swallowed the large lump in her throat before pulling out the chest that contained the truth she had been withholding from him. Sitting at the other end of the couch she placed it between them, “This.”

Jensen sat up looking curiously at her before he opened the lid. He pulled out a letter and once he found what it contained his olive eyes snapped up at her, “You?”

She nodded silently. Watching him ruffle through every letter he had ever sent her was terrifying and liberating. He put out the most recent letter and began chuckling, “I guess you’re already going to the wrap party.”

“Jensen, I know you’re probably mad that I never said anything. I just didn’t know how to approach the subject. I love receiving your letters and didn’t want that to change. With the show ending and knowing you all these years, it wouldn’t be right for you not to know. I’m sorry.” She was rambling until he reached out and grabbed her hand squeezing it.

He set the chest with the letters on the table and moved closer to her, “I told Jared today that if I didn’t hear from my penpal that I was finally going to have the balls to ask you out.”

“And now…” she asked looking up just in time to see Jensen leaning in and pressing his lips against hers.

“Now, we hang out and do some more of this,” he kissed once again, “and we take it day by day.”

“I like the sounds of that.” (Y/N) snuggled into his side as she turned on the tv trying to find something for them to watch.

After a little while Jensen asked, “If you were going to write me another letter, what quote would you have put at the end?”

(Y/N) laughed getting up and grabbing her 1001 Random Quotes book. She had taken to ending her letters with random quotes that she picked by simply randomly opening to a page and blindly pointing at a quote. She did exactly that then started laughing as she read it.

“A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. -- Winston Churchill” She looked up to see Jensen smiling, “I guess that explains me in a nutshell.”

Jensen slipped his arm around her shoulders pulling out his phone bringing up his camera, “As my biggest fan I think we need to document this important moment,” he snapped a few pictures of them together.

Suddenly, his phone began chiming rapidly with texts while Jensen started laughing, “Well I now owe Jared twenty bucks since he was right all along that you were my fan penpal.”

“I know he found out earlier today. Honestly, who would believe a story that a fan would be penpals with her favorite actor.” She chuckled as he lifted her chin to have their eyes meet.

“You’ve always been more than just a fan to me, (Y/N).” He leaned in kissing before they snuggled with one another on her couch to continue watching a movie.

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

My Nerd Herd: @waywardbaby​ @ladywinchester1967​ @akshi8278​ @ericaprice2008​ @deans-baby-momma​ @spnbaby-67​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @carryonmywaywardcaptain​ @-lovepeacenhope-​ @destiel745​ @carribear31​ @srsllydunnodoncare​ @whimsicalrobots​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @starstruckzonkoperatorbat​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @bella-ca​ @drakelover78​ @imascio08​ @pisces-cutie​ @dwgrl1903-blog​ @mannls​ @the-salty-asian​ @winchesterprincessbride​ @xostephanie​ @superromijn​ @witch-of-letters​ @time-travel-bouqet​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @myinconnelly1​ @sister-winchesters99​ @thekatherinewinchester​ @maddiepants​ @tumbler-tidbits​ @sandlee44​ @destielhoneybee​ @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @thefaithfulwriter​ @stoneyggirl​ @supernaturalginger​ @emoryhemsworth​ @wednesdayismyfunday​ @team-free-will-you-idjiot​ @atc74​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @casseythebee​

#unfic challenge #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles rpf #jensen ackles fluff

[scarletravenswood]

Different Ways to Celebrate Samhain || Wiccan vs Celtic

There are many ways to celebrate Samhain and today I’d like to share the similarities & differences between Wiccan celebrations of Samhain and the historic way it would be celebrated among the ancient Celtic Pagans. 

Both Wiccans and Celtic Pagans view Samhain as a day to connect with the dead.  Some of the ways Wiccans honor those that have passed on is by placing pictures of their deceased family members or ancestors on their altar.  Also, Some wiccans also participate in a “dumb supper,” the word dumb meaning silent, not stupid.  The “dumb supper” is really just a silent meal where you have a place setting with food for the deceased at your table. The Celtic Pagans did something similar though they provided offerings for both the Aos Sí and the deceased.  Aos Sí is an Irish term for the supernatural beings in Irish & Scottish mythology.  These supernatural beings are akin to the Fae that appear in Folklore.  As Samhain was considered a liminal time where these supernatural beings could enter our world, it was really important to the Celtic Pagans that they provide offerings as a way to placate them.  They did this by leaving offerings of food and drink outside their home.  As for the souls of the deceased, they would place a plate for them at their table just as modern wiccans do.  However, it was definitely not a quiet feast.  In fact the Celtic Pagans had multiple loud and rambunctious feats for Samhain.   While most Wiccans tend to celebrate Samhain on October 31st, Celtic Pagans celebrated Samhain for about a week.  They would begin 3 days before Samhain and end 3 days after.  These were big gatherings as this time traditionally marked the end of the season for trade and warfare and it was a time to gather the whole tribe together.  We see evidence of this in early Irish literature as these big Samhain gatherings were often used as the setting for the stories. During these big gatherings, there was lots of feasting, drinking, and contests. One of the most popular contests involved horse racing.  In a previous video about Lughnasadh traditions, I mentioned how athletic events & competition were key aspects of the celebration so it’s interesting to see that that’s true for Samhain as well.  To me this emphasis on sport, competition and physical fitness is one of the bigger differences you’ll find between Wiccan and historic Celtic Pagan celebrations.  

Many Wiccans tend to celebrate Samhain either alone or with a small coven, but for the Celtic Pagans this holiday was really about celebrating together as a large community.  Probably the most important feature of a Celtic Pagan Samhain is a community bonfire and while some wiccans may do a bonfire for Samhain, it’s definitely not a common feature I've seen in most modern Wiccan Samhain celebrations. Bonfires were an essential part of Celtic Pagan Samhain celebrations.  Usually these fires were lit by the Druids and then sacrifices for the Gods were thrown into the fire.  Also, all other fires in the community would be extinguished and then re-lit from this sacred community fire. Sometimes, two bonfires would be lit next to each other and then the people, and potentially also their livestock, would walk between the two fires as part of a cleansing ritual. One of the popular Samhain activities for both Wiccans and Celtic Pagans is divination.  Usually wiccans do divination on Samhain with a scrying mirror, tarot cards, or maybe runes.  The Celtic Pagans also did divination, though it mostly centered around the bonfire.  There’s a spooky Celtic tradition where people would gather a stone and place their stone in a ring around a bonfire. Then everyone would run and dance around the bonfire and the next morning they would check the stones.  If a stone was missing or moved it was said that that person would die in the upcoming year.  Apples and hazelnuts were also traditionally used for divination games on Samhain though mostly these divination methods were done by girls hoping to learn who their future spouse would be. There are many more both Wiccan and Celtic Pagan traditions for Samhain and I definitely encourage you to do some more research so you can decide which traditions would best fit within your own Samhain celebration.  With this post, I’m not trying to say that one system, Wiccan or Celtic Pagan is better than the other.  Though I wanted to share with you these ancient Celtic Pagan traditions because books and information on them is often much harder to find than information on Wiccan celebrations. There are tons of books and blog posts out there that provide spells, rituals, and crafts on how to celebrate a Wiccan Samhain.  In fact, I’ve personally made a lot of videos about how to celebrate a Wiccan Samhain already.  The trickier question for me is how can we celebrate a Samhain in a way that’s more attuned to how the Celtic Pagans celebrated it.  It’s kind of a difficult situation because most Celtic Pagan celebrations were about coming together as a community.  The more I’ve learned about historic Pagan traditions the more I’ve realized how important it is to build a strong community not just online but in person as well.  Definitely not this year but maybe in the years to come I really hope to be able to host a traditional Celtic Pagan Samhain celebration.  This would be an event where we could all come together for a weekend, have a big nighttime Samhain bonfire and enjoy feasting, drinking, and spending time together.   And speaking of building community, one of the new things I’ll be doing is sending out hand written letters to some of my Patrons for each sabbat.  I know it’s kind of old school, but I think it would be really fun to become penpals with some of you guys. So, if you’re interested in becoming Penpals with me, you can join my Patreon here.  Thanks so much for reading this post.  It’s been so wonderful to see our community grow so quickly!

#samhain #wicca #wiccan #pagan #paganism #witchblr #halloween #celtic #celtic mythology #celtic paganism #baby witch #occult #Wheel of the Year

[versadies]

INTERLUDE || NO BODY NO CRIME

SYPNOSIS (of chapter). in which he wanted it to be you and no one else.

SYPNOSIS (of series). breaking up with your first love was heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as getting invited to his wedding after years of not seeing him. that is, until things seem to be easier when you encounter a certain guest, who could end up being more than just a blooming friend to you.

CHARACTERS. kamisato ayato, diluc ragnvindr, thoma ( w/ gn!reader )

CONTENT. fluff/angst/comfort, modern!au, ooc (?), mentions of breakups, unrequited love

PENPALS. @scaraslover @dawgimsohot @kazu-topia @aqualesha @mrkamisato @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @coleluuviida @034ven @dear-dairiess @luv3rxcha @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @nejibot @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @estelwrld @reinvqx @chihawari @moonlightaangel @lonelysimpfor2dmen @sniffoat @mxsomn @jiminscarmex @alice0blog @ylimeprive @irethepotatosblog @irethepotato @elychee @rion-s @denkineptune @franini @sophisticatedleslie @thedivinepriestess @smashsubs @httpmitsuya @cottonkendi @uchihaeirin @abvolat @kokushiboswife @kyomihann @prplbunny @crowleysthings @axeybelle09 @chimsblogg @ys14a @leaunce @q-zrs @phoenixdrake88-blog @giyusimpsassemble @saving-for-xiao @jean-kirstiens-wife @strawberryuns @selfinsertintrovert @sachispet (come visit this post if you'd like to be tagged !)

WORD COUNT. 6.8k words

SPECIAL NOTE. we finally arrived at a special chapter of this series ! take note that this is a bit considered as a side-story since this is an interlude, however it is an important chapter as well so enjoy <3 !

LINKS. EVERMORE MASTERLIST \ MAIN MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS || NEXT

For the longest time, Thoma had always seen you as someone he wants to spend his future with. 

As a foreigner who came to Inazuma, it was clear to Thoma that his classmates don’t like him because of how he’s different from the rest. Unfortunately, he slowly became a victim for bullies, who often bully him for not only not belonging to Inazuma, but also how he doesn’t have a father, who he couldn’t find when he and his mother traveled to Inazuma. 

He felt scared, disappointed even. He misses his home so much, he wished his father didn’t have to disappear so suddenly, and he wished the kids at his age would’ve been nicer. If it weren’t for Ayato, his first ever friend, he would’ve felt so terribly lonely. 

Of course, Ayato could’ve prevented the bullying with just a small chat with the bullies thanks to his background and family name, but Thoma was too kind-hearted and didn’t want to burden his best friend with such matters. 

And then, you came to his life. 

He’s heard of your name before thanks to his mother, who once mentioned how she knew a person who also studies in the same school as him and frequently visits her shop at lunch as well as how their mother is a close friend of hers. He didn’t think much of it since you’re not his classmate.

When he met you however, he fell for you hard. 

He met you one day when he was on his way towards the school gate, only to be blocked by his bullies once again. 

However, for the first time since he came here, someone stood up for Thoma. 

“Hey! Leave him alone, you trolls!” His eyes widened when he saw someone standing in front of him with their back facing him as though they were on defense. What are they doing? He thought in confusion. 

One of the bullies didn’t seem to feel threatened by you. “Or what? You don’t even have the guts to– OW!” 

He gasps when he sees you grabbing a small pebble from the ground nearby and doesn't hesitate to throw it at one of the bullies, causing the bully to let out a yelp when the pebble manages to hit them by the head. 

“What the hell?! Are you trying to kill us?” 

“Killing’s a strong word,” You said with a huff before grabbing another pebble. “But I will do it again if I see you bullying him next time!” 

“Are you alright?” You ask, turning around to see the blonde-haired man as the bullies ran off in embarrassment and in fear. 

Wow. 

He could feel his breath hitch when he saw you, staring at you in awe. “I-I’m alright,” He immediately replied in embarrassment, looking away from you when he realized he'd been staring. “Thank you for uh.. For uh…” 

You paid no mind to how he didn’t finish his sentence, letting out a small laugh. “It’s no problem! You’re…. Thoma right?”  

The child was even more surprised, not expecting you to know his name. “U-Uhm, yea! How do you know my name?” 

“Your mom. Your family owns Komore Cafe, right?” You asked, eyes brightening.

He nodded, eyes brightening from you mentioning his mother’s cafe. “Oh uh.. Yeah! Are you a regular customer there?” 

You nodded eagerly. “Yes, I’m obsessed with your drinks! Are you on your way there?” 

“Yeah, actually. I just finished cleaning my classroom so–”

“Great, mind if we go there together?” 

Thoma almost chokes on his words, his heart instantly races from your request. “Sorry, what did you say?” He asks, unsure if he heard you right.

“Is it okay if you and I walk there together?” You repeated. “I-It’s fine if you don’t want to! I was thinking it’d be great if we go to the same bus together, at least I have a buddy to come with since I was used to going to your cafe with one of my friends.” 

Usually, Thoma preferred to walk towards the cafe on his own, but he found himself agreeing to your request, excusing it as a way for him to pay you back for saving him. “Sure, I don’t mind! I’m sure my mom would be delighted to hear that I got to see one of her regular customers and had someone who defended me from those bullies.” 

You smile widely, immediately standing beside him. “Alright then, lead the way, Thoma!”

At that moment, Thoma finally found something, or someone rather, to think about in his own little world.

From then on, you and Thoma started going to the Komore Cafe together whenever you can. 

Your conversations were surprisingly not that awkward despite Thoma being so flustered from his feelings towards you at first. He supposes it’s because of how you weren’t bothered with his flusteredness, which he’s glad of. For someone who’s supposedly great at socializing with anyone, he sure wouldn’t seem like one if people knew how he acted around you at first. 

Not to mention the bus rides – oh the bus rides – his moments with you are always precious there. Besides the games you two played while waiting for the bus to stop by the cafe along with the conversations you had, there was especially one time when you fell asleep on his shoulder from exhaustion in your p.e. class. He wasn’t sure how long he was able to hold in the urge to scream until he was finally in his room alone. 

When it comes to visiting Komore Cafe, you always go to one certain seat you’d sit in. Much to his delight, you’d also invite him to sit and chat with you about anything that comes to your mind. It’s those moments when he wished it could last forever. 

In a blink of an eye, a few years had passed and the two of you became best friends in high school. 

By the time Thoma was in high school, he started to help out more in the cafe as people eventually got used to the foreigner. To your delight, he even became more sociable with others! You felt like a proud mother whenever you’d see your schoolmates interacting with him happily.  

You also order the same thing everyday to the point where Thoma can make your order in auto-pilot. If you feel like it, you’d even sometimes order other things, which is none other than his favorite order. If only you knew how it sets his heart ablaze the moment you told him you’d like to try it. 

Sometimes, you’d even try to help in serving drinks in the cafe, to which Thoma insists you don’t need to do that until his mother told him you’ve helped her handle the cafe often whenever he’s busy with school activities that made him stay. Ah, it made him have all the more reasons to love you than he should. 

By the time you and Thoma became second-year students, everything changed. 

As much as Thoma didn’t want to admit, he was so sure Ayato was catching on to his secretive feelings. It honestly felt like the man could read him like an open book.  

No amount of words could tell how shocked Thoma was when he encountered Ayato in the cafe, the blonde-haired man was staring at his dear friend like a deer caught in headlights as you stood beside him in confusion from why he stopped his tracks. 

He thought this was it, this is when Ayato will tease me 24/7!

However, the dreadful moment Thoma has been waiting for did not come. Even when he introduced you to Ayato, even when he left you two off to chat so he could prepare his and your drinks, and even when you left early to do your homework in your home. It honestly made Thoma feel nervous the entire day. Just what is on Ayato’s mind? He wonders to himself as he continues to serve his customers in the cafe, eyeing towards the blue-haired man’s direction suspiciously. 

It wasn’t until Thoma took a break and sat across to his best friend, who continued to drink his boba silently. 

“...That person…” Ayato spoke up, staring at where you left.

The blonde-haired man chuckles nervously, dreading the teases. “You mean ( Name )? What about them?” 

He finally looks at Thoma with an expression he had never seen before. “I… I’d like to get to know them more.” 

Oh. 

Oh. 

Thoma felt like time froze when he realized what was going on. 

As someone who was in love for so long, Thoma knew what love looks like. 

And it was all over Ayato's face.

At first, the blonde haired man thought nothing of it, telling himself that maybe he was just overthinking things. He’s sure Ayato is just interested in getting to know someone as interesting as you since he never heard of you around the school, in a way that one would become interested to have the other as their friend.

Then the blue-haired man started asking about you a lot whenever the two of them are in class. Be it your favorite hobbies, favorite subject, what club you’re in, and so on and so forth to the point where Thoma couldn’t deny the fact that Ayato is absolutely whipped for you. 

He wasn’t sure if the same goes to you. 

Unlike Thoma, Ayato doesn’t need to use the public bus since he has a driver who can come and pick him up to take him home. So when you and Thoma encountered the blue haired man by the school gate despite the fact that he should’ve been home an hour ago, it was safe to say the blonde-haired man was surprised. 

“Oh, are you two on your way to the cafe?” Ayato asks with a smile on his face.

“Yep, are you going there too?” You responded, not noticing the hesitant look on Thoma’s face. 

The blue-haired man nodded in response. “Yes, actually–”

“Great! Why not come with us? Me and Thoma are on our way to the bus stop.” You invited with a smile, your offer got both Thoma and Ayato look at you in surprise. Did you really  just invite Kamisato Ayato to go ride a public bus?

However, before Thoma could tell you that Ayato has to do something else, the blue-haired man chuckles in amusement and beats him to it. “I suppose it won’t hurt to try. You may lead the way.” 

As you eagerly agreed and walked towards the school gate with Ayato following, Thoma stood there, wondering what on earth just happened.

Ayato, who never takes detours and always urgently go to the car that’ll take him home just to study and deal matters with his family’s business, not to mention he only goes to places with said car, and only visits the cafe when he actually had time, accepted to go with you despite knowing that he has an exam to study tomorrow with Thoma – who he clearly remembers how Ayato wasn’t planning on going to the cafe to study with him this week – and even agreed with going there by bus?

The blonde-haired looks down at his bag, the bag that holds a note that he was planning to put inside your locker, for you to know the time and place for him to confess his undying feelings for you. 

Thoma gulps a lump in his throat and slowly starts catching up with you and Ayato, forming a stiff smile on his face. Perhaps it’s for the best if I keep this to myself, he thought to himself. If no one knows, it didn’t happen. 

“What took you so long, Thoma?” You ask with a worried look on your face once you see your best friend standing behind you as the three of you now wait for the bus to arrive. “Did you forget something again in the classroom?” 

He lets out a small laugh in response, ignoring the way Ayato looks at you with different eyes. “Yeah, sorry about that.” 

“It’s alright, you made me worry for a second.” You comment, your worries fade away. “Me and Ayato were talking about drinks that he should try in your cafe – I can’t believe he’s missing out your favorite one!” 

The blue-haired man chuckles in response. “With how you explained it so enthusiastically, who am I to say no and not try it out?” 

Suddenly, it all felt like Thoma is watching a romance movie, his eyes darting between you and then at Ayato as his stiff smile threatens to fall apart when he sees the way you start to become shy with his best friend.

He supposes he should be grateful for not putting the note in your locker and not getting rejected. 

For the rest of the school year, it was clear to Thoma that you could never be with someone like him, not when you have someone like Ayato, who Thoma knows would be the better option. Ayato’s rich, powerful, dedicated, and could make you gush than anyone you ever fallen for – unlike Thoma, who’s just… himself. 

So he stands by and watches you and Ayato become together, as though he’s just a background character in a romance movie with you two being the main characters. 

Thoma even helped Ayato out in many ways he can to make him have progress with being connected with you more. Whether it’d be him backing out from your table with an excuse of working  so it would just be you and Ayato, him lying that he doesn’t know a certain topic that he obviously knows just so Ayato could help you study himself during study sessions, and even help his best friend plan his promposal to you– all those moments in which Thoma tells himself that this is his way of repaying Ayato for being his dearest friend since childhood. 

It hurts when you and Ayato officially become a couple. 

It hurts to go to his bed, no longer giggling or flustered from his shared moments with you as he stares at the ceiling with an empty look on his face. It hurts to work in his beloved cafe, trying to ignore how you and Ayato love each other as some of his customers would gush about how you two look like the perfect couple. It hurts to walk around the school campus as he hears whispers and hushed voices in both envy and admiration about how you and Ayato are such high school sweethearts.

He was glad that he never told anyone about his closed feelings towards you, the pity people would give could make the feeling worse than now. If no one knows, then nothing happened.

As years go by, so did the pain. 

Although Thoma had long accepted the fact that he’ll never get to be with you by the end of senior year, the pain didn’t go away that fast. How could one give up their feelings that they’ve felt for so many years just like that?

He couldn’t, and he hated himself for that. 

He watched as your relationship with Ayato grew throughout high school and college – it was evident that the two of you would never break up at all from how much the both of you love each other, and he envied it. Yet he didn’t do anything with his envy and heartbreak, he only continued to pursue in supporting your relationship. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters to Thoma. 

When it comes to you and Ayato fighting, you’d often come to Thoma for advice. He could’ve declined it, but he didn’t. He listened to you and comforted you in every way he could. He knows Ayato just as much as he knows you, so it wasn’t difficult to reassure you that yes, everything will be okay in the end. 

So when he watched Ayato leaving you one day with you sitting on your favorite spot of the cafe dumbfounded, he knew everything was not okay. 

When he saw you following Ayato and left your things, he felt worried. Did something bad happen between you and Ayato that made him leave?

Thoma continued to wait for what felt like an hour, when in reality it was only a few minutes before he saw you coming back. 

His heart broke at the sight of the empty look on your face.

From spending so much time with you, Thoma knew you were holding your tears in. You’re someone who never wanted to cry in public, and you’d probably even won’t tell anybody about it in fear of being a burden to them. 

But you’re never a burden to him.

He decided to slowly come up to you, watching you pack your stuff in a quick manner, as though you wanted to get out as soon as you can. Suddenly, you accidentally made one of your books fall, and he noticed how you flinched from the loud sound. 

The blonde-haired man quickly looked around, and to his relief, none of the customers were bothered by the sudden sound. 

Before you could try to get it, Thoma beat you to it and grabbed it for you.  

“Here you go, ( Name ).” The blonde-haired man said with a sweet smile.

“...Thanks, Thoma.” You spoke in a soft tone, and it hurts Thoma to hear how devastated it sounded. What on earth did Ayato do to you?

Just when he was about to ask if you needed anything, you shut your bag when you shoved the book inside and turned around towards the exit. “See you next time, Thoma.” 

Understanding that you needed space, he nodded slowly. “See.. you next time, ( Name ).” He said, watching you walk towards the door and leave the cafe.

As soon as you left and disappeared from his view, Thoma’s smile dropped. 

If only he knew at that moment how this would be the last time he’d see you. 

It didn’t take long before he quickly noticed how you and Ayato no longer meet each other the next day. It’s sometimes like this if your fights with Ayato were serious and led you to avoid the man, but this was different. 

It was as though the two of you had finally broken up. 

His concern further increases when he sees how you started to avoid people – specifically those who are also close friends with Ayato – as well as how you’re now found alone in school or with Ei and Miko if they aren’t busy from tasks as the student council officers. Although you still looked okay to others, Thoma knew you weren’t.

Despite the fact that you never talked to him since the incident, he didn’t come up to you either, thinking that it’s best that you need some space. The moment you call him, you can guarantee that he’ll instantly try to do everything he can to get to where you are. 

As for Ayato, he acts as if you never existed, acting the same as always. Whenever Thoma tries to bring you up in his conversations, the blue-haired man instantly changes topic with an unexplainable look on his face. He isn’t sure if Ayato’s truly alright, but the blue-haired man has always lied that he’s okay whenever the blonde-haired man asks.

For the first time since elementary school, Thoma felt helpless.

He felt sick to his stomach whenever you and Ayato’s mutual friends expressed their concerns about the two of you since none of you had any longer met up with them in the cafeteria. He’s just as concerned as they are, but he couldn’t do anything about it. 

It wasn’t until a few weeks had passed since his interaction with you in the cafe when Ei and Miko – the two people Thoma’s not the closest to – came up to him while he was on cleaning duty in class when he finally got the chance to talk to you. 

“They’re not doing good..” Ei spoke softly, frowning at the thought of you. “Miko and I did everything we could to comfort them for the past weeks, but ( Name ) wants to talk to you.” 

His eyes widened. 

The pink-haired woman then added, “I know you haven’t talked to them for the past few weeks – but we can tell that they need you now. They kept asking us how you were and if you’re still safe from being bullied whenever we visited them.” 

Thoma couldn’t help but feel touched. Even when you’re at your lowest, you still wonder about his well-being. 

Ei gestures to the man to come with them towards your dorm. “I’ll ask someone to handle the classroom. We need you to go to them now.” 

The student council president didn’t have to say it to him twice.

Thoma did everything he could to come to where you are as fast as his feet can take him, the only thing that runs in his mind is regret that he didn’t come to you sooner and ask if you’re alright. You must’ve thought he was avoiding you too. 

How could I be so stupid? He thought to himself, running faster when he’s closer to your dorm. 

By the time he arrived, it felt like he wasn’t in your dorm at all.

There was no liveliness that helped him feel welcomed, no music that you often listen to playing in the speaker, nor is there any furniture that isn’t dusty from being used.

He slowly took quiet steps towards your bedroom, taking note of how some pictures that had you and Ayato were missing as well as a few items that belonged to Ayato’s. 

He tried not to crumble when he saw you in your bedroom, staring at the window with eyes that no longer sparks life. It’s almost like Thoma’s just staring at an empty shell of what you used to be. 

When you noticed someone’s presence, you slowly turned away from the window to look at Thoma’s direction, only to lightly gasp when you found out who it was. He didn’t fail to notice how your eyes were swollen.

“...Hey ( Name ),” He spoke softly with a sad smile. “How have you been?” 

The both of you fell silent, and you continued to stare at him in shock.

A few seconds was all you needed before you felt your tears forming again, your shoulders began to shake. 

“He… He said he doesn’t love me anymore…” You sobbed, lifting your hands up to cover your face from your best friend, whose heart shattered at the sight of you. “He broke up with me and left me! A-And he keeps on ignoring me whenever I try to talk to him and I… I thought you didn’t want to hang out with me anymore and I don’t know how to face everyone else when Ayato and I are–” 

You gasped once more when you felt his arms wrapped around you into a comforting hug. “I would never want to stop hanging out with you, ( Name ). You won’t lose me.” He said in a reassuring tone, rubbing your back. “It must’ve been rough for you to go through so much, I’m sorry for not coming up to you sooner.” 

You slowly hug him back and close your eyes, sniffing as tears continue to come out. “I missed you, Thoma. I want to go to the cafe everyday like before but.. But I’m scared that I… I might see him again and breakdown and look like a fool in your cafe and–” 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, don’t worry,” He spoke softly, “I can visit here everyday with your favorites. I’ll make sure you won’t see him if that’s what you want. Plus, the cafe’s trying out delivery now and I can just deliver it to you.” 

He feels your shoulders relaxing in response. “...Thank you, Thoma.” You whispered, still hugging him with no intentions of letting go just yet. 

“Anything for you, ( Name ).” He mumbles, closing his eyes. At this moment, all of his loyalty towards Ayato was forgotten, the only thing he prioritizes the most right now is to make sure you’re happy. 

“Anything for you.” 

It was a long journey, Thoma admits. He couldn’t blame you for having a hard time moving on since you were with Ayato for so many years and because you still don’t know the proper explanation as to why he broke up with you in the first place. 

Nevertheless, he was proud that you can face Ayato without crying anymore, and fully supported your decision in avoiding Ayato instead of continuing to try and talk to him. 

When Thoma saw Ayato entering the cafe, he was ecstatic – only for his face to drop when he saw a woman hugging his arm with a loving smile. 

It wasn’t until he overhears the conversation when Ayato asks the woman out on a date when he felt upset – rightfully so. How could he move on so fast and even find love with someone else? He was disappointed, really. 

Fortunately, you didn’t go back to square one when Ayato announced his official relationship with Chisato. However, that didn’t mean you weren’t hurt from the news. 

Thoma, alongside your dear friends who immediately visited you after finding out what happened, made sure to always be there by your side when you needed it. He respects everyone with how dedicated they are in cheering you up – especially Ei and Miko, who was by your side from the very beginning. 

He watched the way the two women insulted Ayato for breaking your heart whilst soothing you with words, bringing you light novels that Miko got her hands on from her family’s business as well as foods that Ei bought on her way to your place, and so much more.

Thoma was relieved that there’s people out there who are by your side just as much as he is with you.

He still continued to hang out with Ayato of course– however, it felt as though the tension between them was a bit stiff since the incident.

Thoma was glad Ayato’s current girlfriend, Hiiragi Chisato, wasn’t someone that’s malicious and greedy. Not when she was kind, considerate, and hardworking just as much as Ayato. She’s definitely someone Ayato’s parents would be glad to have as their daughter-in-law with how successful and wealthy her family is, unlike you – who unfortunately got disapproved by Ayato’s parents as soon as they found out that you weren’t particularly as wealthy as they are and don’t have a successful family business when Ayato told them after your first visit. 

Though, it’s safe to say that he felt bad whenever he and the others – Yoimiya, Itto, Sara, Kokomi, Gorou, and even Ayaka –  avoid the topic whenever Chisato mentions you. It’s clear that they didn’t want her to know about you, knowing that she would want to try and meet you unaware about your past relationship with Ayato. She’s in a completely different department in the university, so it’s no surprise that she doesn’t know you are Ayato’s past lover.

Even when you’re trying to move on, you still miss and love Ayato. Thoma could understand, since he has been through it when he found out that you love Ayato back, so he always reassures you that you shouldn’t stress that you’re taking too long to move on. 

It wasn’t until something happened in the after-finals party.

Thoma didn’t know what happened, but he did see you following Ayato outside and walked back in an hour later with an angry look on your face. 

“Are you alright, ( Name )?” Thoma asks as you stand beside him by the kitchen with your eyes narrowed.

“I’m done with him.” You mumbled, glaring at where Thoma assumes Ayato is in. “I’m sick and tired of him.”

The blonde-haired was surprised, but then he grabs an alcoholic bottle before pouring it on a new cup, handing it over to you as an offer. “Care to drink with me and tell me about it then?” 

Without hesitation, you grabbed the cup he poured and took a quick sip, unbothered by the burning sensation in your throat. “Gladly.” 

Just as you said so, you stopped crying for Ayato ever since that night. 

No one besides Thoma knew what happened between you and your ex in the party, but none dared to question it – even Miko herself. Nevertheless, what matters is that you’re moving on from Ayato, and they’re proud of you for that. 

However, there was still one thing Thoma wondered.

His best friend’s side. 

It just didn’t make sense, if he had to be honest. Why would Ayato, who’s always dedicated and committed to you and your relationship, suddenly fall out of love? 

Ayaka wondered the same thing when Thoma reached out to her about Ayato, saying how her brother went home one night acting strange and out of his mind, only for him to reassure her that he’s alright and acted normal the next day, pretending that nothing happened. 

Now that he thinks about it, how long has his dear friend continued to be like this?

Ever since you and Ayato separated, the blue-haired man grew busier, more silent, and more distant from everyone. It concerned Thoma, but what can he do when the blue-haired man always reassures him that he’s alright?

The same could go for everyone else – the ones who are friends with both you and Ayato – they’re deeply worried for Ayato just as much as they’re worried for you back when they didn’t know what was going on. 

By the time Ayato started dating Chisato, Thoma didn’t bother asking anymore, thinking that he definitely fell out of love with you since he fell in love with someone so quickly.

You started to visit the cafe as soon as your last year of college began, with you ordering new things while playing with Taroumaru, who’s now grown up into a strong puppy who now entertains customers as they await for someone to serve their orders, and enjoyed your time in the place despite it being the place where your heart got broken by Ayato.

Sometimes you’d go alone, and Thoma would keep you company whenever the cafe was quiet, either by studying with you or just chatting with you – just like good times. Sometimes you’d go with someone else, be it a groupmate for a project, your friend, or even your pet so that they can play with Taroumaru. He adored that you still go to your favorite spot.

Then time flew by, with everyone getting jobs after graduating, with Ayato finally getting assigned as the CEO of his family’s business, with the cafe growing famous in Inazuma thanks to social media, 

And with him still in love with you.

He honestly forgot about his feelings when he was by your side comforting you from your heartbreak. He only remembered as soon as Ayaka asked him if he had fallen in love with someone after gushing about the person she had a crush on one day while they were preparing for Ayato’s birthday.

Yes, he’s still in love, but he wouldn’t tell Ayaka that. 

If no one knows, it didn't happen. 

As for you, you found a job. Apparently someone reached out to you about a job that’s under the business that Ei’s family works in, so you’re ecstatic that you’re going to see Ei – who’s more than happy that you’re going to work for her. Thoma was glad that you found a good job that you love, so he was happy for you. 

However, there was something about the job that conflicted you.

“Though… I’m sad,” You said with a sigh, your wide smile turned into a sad one as you looked down at your drink that Thoma prepared for you. “I… I’ll have to go to Liyue in two weeks later to start my job.” 

The blonde-haired man froze, eyes slightly widening. Liyue was far from Inazuma, and it’s obvious that you’re trying to say that you’ll have to stay in the prosperous country for your job. 

“...Oh,” He spoke. “...Did you accept the job?” 

You shrugged. “I’m still thinking. I don’t want to leave this place – let alone leave you and the others. But then again, everything reminded me of him, and this job is my shot in–”

“Then do it.”

You stumbled on your words, looking up at the blonde-haired man in shock. “Wh-What?”

Thoma shoots you an encouraging look. “You should go for it if you want it. Don’t worry about me and the others, we can still be in touch even when you’re away.” 

You blinked a few times. “Should I..?” 

He nodded eagerly. “Follow what your heart wants. You still have Ei and Miko in there, and I’m sure you’d make friends with people who are just as good as everyone here.” He then places his hand on yours in a reassuring grip, something that became a habit of his as a way to comfort you back then. “You’ll never lose me. Call me whenever you’re free to chat, alright? We’re best friends, after all.”

You put your other hand on top of his as well, your smile no longer sad. “..Yeah, you’re right… Thanks, Thoma.”

A few days after that, you finally decided to accept the job, much to Thoma’s delight. He knew you needed to go away and get a fresh start, and your job is worth accepting for. 

He soon helped you pack your things, whilst playing games and watching movies together afterwards. Those nights are when Thoma dreams that it’s just him helping you move into his place, causing him to sleep with a happy heart at the thought. 

The day before you left, everyone decided to hang out in the cafe for your farewell party, giving you gifts to bring with you as well as speeches – with Itto beatboxing for you causing you to laugh – even Ayaka came by and gave you a gift, wishing you well and happy future. 

It’s safe to say that the party was the reason why your worries about leaving your friends ended, you couldn’t help but tear up with how much everyone was proud and happy for your new job.

Thoma was happy that he’s the one who’ll take you to the airport, wanting to be the last person to give you a farewell before you officially leave the country and live in Liyue. 

“I guess this is it.” You said as you stood by the terminal gate that’ll take you to your plane. “I’ll miss you and your cafe, Thoma. Please tell your mom that I’ll miss her too.” 

Thoma nodded. “Of course. You better call me when you arrive at your apartment!”

“Only if you include Taroumaru in your video call!” You teased, the both of you laughing. 

You then pulled him in for a hug. “I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to chat with you often since Miko and Ei told me working under the Tenryou business will make me a busy person, but I’ll make sure to chat whenever I can.”

“It’s fine, ( Name ).” He reassures you, hugging you back with a soft sigh. “I’ll miss you as well.” 

 “I hope you’ll find someone that will make you happy, Thoma.” You spoke softly. 

“Why would I when I found you?” The blonde-haired man wanted to punch himself for spilling those words from his mouth, until you giggled in response.

“That’s not what I meant Thoma,” You clarified, thinking that he didn’t understand your words. “I meant I hope you’ll be able to find someone who you’ll fall in love with and date. I’m sure you’ll make them as happy as how you made me happy.” 

He stays silent, watching you let go of him and take your luggage from him. “I gotta go now, see you next time, Thoma.” 

Thoma then waves, still frozen from what you said.

There’s no one who I love but you.

– 

“So, they left huh?” Ayato asks, sipping his boba as Thoma sits across from his best friend with a shocked look on his face. 

The blonde-haired man was entering the cafe from the airport when he immediately spotted his best friend inside the establishment for the first time since his visit with Chisato. 

The blonde-haired gulps the lump in his throat, smiling stiffly. “Yeah…” 

Ayato smiles at that response, and he looks as if he’s relieved. “I’m glad… They deserve to go there, that job will make them happier than I can.” 

Thoma then realized what Ayato was doing. He’s finally opening up to the blonde-haired man about you. 

“I do apologize for… being distant.” He spoke. “I know you must be disappointed in me for what I did with ( Name ). I’m disappointed in myself as well.” 

The blonde-haired man frowns, not speaking up as he listens to what the man has to say intently. 

“I never told… anyone about this, so you’re the first one.” Ayato confesses. “Yes, I had to push them away. I know they would fight for our relationship, and I love them for that, but I cannot let them do it.”

“Did you… really fall out of love with them?” Thoma wonders, his heart ponders in suspension. 

The man pauses, and smiles in sadness. “I did not.” 

He gasps in response. “Then.. Then why? Why did you do it?” 

The two of them fell silent for at least a minute until Ayato gave in.

“...The thing I have between me and Chisato,”

He hesitates for a moment. “What we have is simply an arranged marriage.” 

Thoma’s heart dropped. 

Ayato looks out at one of the windows with a longing gaze. “I.. I couldn’t afford to let my sister go in an arranged marriage, I knew it would happen to her. So I decided to take one for her when Chisato’s father offered my parents an arranged marriage.” He explains. “I knew that ( Name ) would be disappointed in me and would try to make me stop it, so I.. I did what I had to do.” 

He then looks back at Thoma. “It’s better this way, don’t you think?” 

“Even if they hate you now?” Thoma asks. 

Ayato nodded. “..I don’t mind. I just want them to be happier now, and that is enough for me. We both know I don’t deserve their love,” He then chuckles to himself, as if disappointed. “I even pushed their relationship with me aside for the sake of my family.” 

Thoma didn’t reply to that, mentally agreeing that Ayato’s right. “What about Chisato?”

The blue-haired man sighs. “She’s aware of this being an arranged marriage. But she isn’t aware that I still long for someone else.” He inhales sharply. “Her father forced me to make sure to charm her before proposing to her so that she’d be more than willing to be in this arranged marriage, so I can’t do anything about it with the fact that she’s in love with me.”

Ayato then notices the familiar sight of his driver coming out from the car outside the cafe, gesturing Ayato to the time. 

“.. I’ll apologize to ( Name ) someday. Then maybe we can be friends again – even if that will take years or even if they potentially won’t allow us to.” He then stands up, grabbing his cloak and his drink. “Thank you for taking care of ( Name ), Thoma. Never speak of this conversation with anyone, alright?”

If no one knows, it didn’t happen. 

As Ayato leaves the cafe after giving both Thoma and his mother farewell, Thoma finds himself sitting in your favorite spot, only this time, he was alone.

–

You couldn’t help but feel amazed by Liyue’s airport as you head over towards the exit, looking around the place as if you’re in a whole new world–

You suddenly bumped into someone, muttering out an apology in embarrassment. Great, first day and you aren’t paying attention to your surroundings!

You paused when you realized the stranger, who also muttered an apology and left, dropped a pocket watch on the ground.

Quickly grabbing the pocket watch, you instantly rush over to the stranger who’s walking side by side with another man, memorizing what words to say in your head. 

“Sir!” You called, and the stranger turned around in confusion. 

“You dropped this,” You said, showing him the pocket watch. “Sorry again for bumping into you, by the way.” 

The man’s eyes slightly widen, slowly grabbing the watch from you. “Thank you.” 

You nodded with a smile. “It’s no problem.” 

Without another word, you immediately ran off from the two men, not realizing how a few people, particularly the paparazzi, were staring at you with wide eyes. 

“My, I’m surprised they didn’t know about us two, Diluc.” Kaeya spoke in amusement, watching you go away. “You’re lucky they gave you that pocket watch. I’m not sure what would happen to you if you lost your father's watch after he just died.”

Diluc, the man you came up to, glared at Kaeya. “Watch your mouth before I make sure you’re not going to my private plane on our way back to Mondstadt.” 

The other laughed. “I’m rich too, Diluc.”

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin x reader #genshin series #genshin x reader series #genshin angst #genshin fanfic #thoma x reader #diluc x reader #diluc x gn reader #genshin angst series #genshin x gn reader #genshin impact x gn reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #thoma x gn reader #genshin scenarios #genshin ayato x reader #ayato x gn reader #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x gn reader #diluc ragnvindr x gn reader #genshin ayato x gn reader #genshin imagines #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x gender neutral reader #thoma angst #ayato angst #genshin fic #genshin impact imagines

[penpalkingdom]

Hello lovely residents of the kingdom!

Last year around August, I released “Penpal Kingdom: An Official Guide”, to help you navigate all things Penpal Kingdom. Now, a year later, I am uploading this updated version, with all the handy links in one place!

I hope this makes your stay just that much more pleasant and easy, and I’d be delighted if you could have a read through it, should you ever have any questions.

So, without further ado, I am MOST proud to present: the Official Penpal Kingdom Guide, 2nd Edition!

Penpal Things

A Guide to Penpals | written by @letterhaveit

Things to put in Penpal Letters | written by @snaily-mail

Confidence to post | written by @penpalkingdom​

Ad / submission tips + advice | ask answered by @penpalkingdom​

Safety

Tips for spotting suspicious persons | written by @penpalkingdom

Penpal Kingdom Specifics

Welcome

About the admin

How to submit an ad

Testimonials

Ask me anything

Penpal Kingdom’s Mission

Milestones

1500 followers | August 4, 2020

1300 followers | May 4, 2020

1200 followers | March 3, 2020

800 followers | August 24, 2019

700 followers | June 26, 2019 

400 followers | February 25, 2019

200 followers | December 21, 2019

Messages from the Admin

Encouragement (+1500 followers) | August 4, 2020

Positivity (+1300 followers) | May 4, 2020

Some Appreciation | February 7, 2020

Happy New Year |  January 8, 2020

My heartfelt thanks | June 14, 2019

Happy Easter | April 21, 2019

Happy V Day | February 15, 2019

Happy New Year | January 1, 2019

Merry Christmas | 25 December, 2018

Blessed | 28 November, 2018

Happy Thanksgiving | November 23, 2018

Welcome | October 8, 2018

Extra | Admin faves

Current fav art post  | posted by @calliophies​

The main reason I made it is so that all the important / crucial information is within easy reach. I hope it serves you well. If you have any tips on what I can improve, or any suggestions on guides or things you’d like to see included in the guide, please send me a message on here! Would love to hear your input / feedback.

I’m truly so super grateful to be running this page. To all of you that actively use my blog to either 1) place an ad to find penpals 2) read ads to find penpals, I thank you so kindly. Without all of you on here, this wouldn’t be a success. I appreciate every single one of you, and the privilege I get of helping you all find friends.

I promise, my solemn promise as your king and ruler, to continue my mission of helping you all find penpals, friends, and confidantes.

My heartfelt and joyful thanks to you all, for helping this Kingdom thrive. Couldn’t do it without you.

- The King of Penpal Kingdom | August 16, 2020

#penpal #penpalkingdom #penpals #snailmail #letters #postcards #online friends #online pals #officialguide #penpalkingdomofficialguide #ppkguide

[snailymailybaby]

My Take on Snail Mail Etiquette

As anyone who follows this blog has picked up on, I am a very uninvolved blogger who infrequently makes large aesthetic queues and posts their own mail art before logging off and reappearing whenever I have more mail to post. I am going to borrow from the blogging style of my other blog and go ahead and write a bit of a thought piece. The inspiration from this is the most recent in a string of unfortunate experiences while penpaling but it’s not a unique situation or the only one I’m pulling from.

Penpaling Etiquette Penpaling is an extremely old practice and as such there is a certain decorum I believe many people associate with it. Of course, as it’s a practice that’s endured despite changes in technology that means it’s also a practice that’s adapted. Our use of Tumblr to find penpals is a great example of positive adaptations to an antiquated art. Where change can exist simultaneously with stagnation in any practice that naturally creates divisions among the practitioners. I, for one, consider myself to be part of what I consider the Old School way of penpaling and my thoughts on etiquette will be reflective to that style of penships. Though I think much of the etiquette I believe in is universal to all types of penpalers. 

Seeking Out Penships Penpaling is undeniably an intimate thing by the nature of it being centered around building a relationship with another person. Even with all the art on our envelopes, on our letters, or even sent with our letters; at the end of day we’re seeking out a connection with the person we’re writing to.  Keeping that in mind, there is a right way to seek out penships and there is a wrong way. For me, the right way is to approach the person you’re seeking to write the way you’d look to make a friend back in grade school: introduce yourself, include a little info about yourself, and politely ask if the person is accepting new penpals. I always feel that can be done in any order, but for me a red flag has always been people who without divulging anything about them or inquiring anything about me ask to be my penpal. Or worse yet, tell me they want to be my penpal. I read a certain entitlement into people who do not ask.  I’ll admit sometimes I’m imperfect in my responses to people looking, I’ll forget to give them my spiel because I’ve assumed they’ve read it somewhere and that’s why they’ve contacted me. People are imperfect and as the person seeking out new penpals or accepting new penpals it’s important to give as much grace as possible. So long as people are communicating with sincere interest little flaws in forgetting usual etiquette can and should be forgiven. Age Appropriate Penships In any practice that is welcoming to all ages it’s important to set up and maintain appropriate age boundaries. This is simple in penpaling, do not write to anyone under the age of 18 if you are a legal adult. If you are a minor, do not seek out or accept penpals over the age of 18. Minor to legal adult correspondence has an extreme imbalance in the power dynamic. Often adults who will seek out minors to write to are doing so because they’re seeking to manipulate the minor. Minors who are accepting of adult penpals are unwittingly engaging in penships that can have undue influence on them .  Even within the 18+ sticking to themselves age rule there can be age gaps between penpals that aren’t in the best interest of the younger party. An 18 year old writing to a 40 year old could be subjected to the same predatory penship as a 13 year old trying to write a 20 year old. There’s also a non-predatory reason why age gaps for adult penships don’t work. Quite simply, a 20 year old and a 25 year old are often at drastically different points in their life and that can make it hard to find common ground.  With the 17 and below age rule, again it’s imperfect and there can still be inappropriate age gaps. A 12 year old and a 17 year old shouldn’t be writing to one another for the same reasons that them hanging out in person or even dating would be problematic.  A good rule of thumb for minors: Keep it within a 2 year age gap.  A good rule of thumb for adults 18-22: Keep it within a 3 year age gap. A good rule of thumb for adults 23-30: Keep it within a 5 year age gap.  For adults these are what I’ve discovered to be “easy” to connect over age gaps, but obviously it’s up to the individual’s discretion as to what is a compatible.  Disclosing Mental Health I mention this only because I’ve come across it, so what’s the “right move” in disclosing mental health struggles you may have?  If it’s something that changes the way you socialize or requires you take extra precautions in who you socialize with/how you socialize (i.e. needing to share triggers) then it’s certainly worth including in your bio when reaching out to penpals.  Otherwise, just be wary of oversharing. If you have something you’d like to be upfront with because you feel it’s a deeply ingrained part of what makes you “you” it’s definitely fine to share that! Just remember that while the goal of penships is relationship building, from the start people are still strangers. Sharing the traumatic depths of your struggles extremely early in a penship can be overwhelming for your penpal. It also can cross into territory of unintentional emotional manipulation and cause a penpal who otherwise finds themselves incompatible to feel compelled to keep writing you because they fear for your well-being.  Remember, mental health is personal! That’s doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it (I talk to plenty of penpals about mental health!) but just remember it’s not something strangers have earned the right to know about you!  Respecting Boundaries When establishing a penship it’s important to create and respect boundaries. Some such boundaries that people have revolve around who they are comfortable writing too. Personally, I do not write to men.It’s a preference built off bad experiences with a few people who aren’t reflective of the whole--- but to look out for me I choose not write men. Should you seek out a penship and learn you fall into some demographic the person chooses not to write to, simply accept that respectfully and move on. In my situation, I have had people argue with me about my choice not to write them because they’re men. This will not endear the person to you and cause them to change their mind. People have reasons for restricting who them write to.  Aside from who people are willing to write to, another common boundary is in regards to communication outside of letters. Personally, as someone who belongs to the Old School style of penpaling I do not want to receive messages on social media outside of initial agreements to write one another. For me and others like me, much of the allure of penpaling comes from distance from my “real life”. Communicating solely through letters gives me material for my letters (I am a diary-style writer) and frankly gives me the space to connect with person’s true personality versus being biased by a social media presence. Be clear with the people you’re seeking a penship with whether or not you’re open to developing a friendship over social media as well or if you prefer not to.  Again, personally I prefer only receiving initial informational exchanges, updates on addresses, check-ins if it’s been a while since one of us has sent mail, or an occasional birthday/holiday message. For extremely longtime penpals I make exceptions.  Social media is another boundary. Unless someone invites you to add them on social media, please do not do this. Yes, you have the name of the person off their address and can technically “easily” discover their social media but that person is trusting in you to respect their privacy. If you want to share your social media that’s wonderful! Just recognize that your penpal may not want to and will not want their privacy invaded.  Patience Above all in penpaling you need to be patient.Postal services aren’t perfect whether it’s sending mail on the national or international level. Generally they’re reliable and predictable, but sometimes things go awry. Personally, nothing bothers me more than someone who sends daily or near daily messages inquiring after the arrival of their letter. While it generally can take 3-5 days for mail to travel in the US (where I am) this isn’t exact.  If you’re concerned your penpal hasn’t gotten your mail, it’s appropriate to ask them if it’s arrived and if it has not then ask that they update you when it has (assuming you’re concerned it’s lost). Do not message daily or multiple times in a week. If your penpal doesn’t get back to you within 2 weeks of your initial message, it’s fair game to message them once more in order to determine the likelihood the mail has been lost. Often people forget to update one another in the Old School community of penpals--- just by nature of being a little bit of penpaling Luddites. Another reason patience is absolutely necessary in this practice has to do with the rate of letter writing. Penpaling can be a time intensive process that take creative and emotional currency to partake in. As a result, many people do not write a response immediately upon receiving mail. Life and stress often get in the way of penaling. Or even when we have ample time, for those of us who are diary-style writers sometimes we feel there’s not enough going on with us to warrant writing a letter. If you feel you really cannot wait indefinitely for mail then that’s something that needs to be disclosed when you begin penships. There are people who can commit to consistent writing schedules and those that cannot.  Ultimately with penpaling, just remember that there’s another person who is sending and receiving mail. It’s not you and a robot. It’s living, breathing person who should be treated with the respect that they deserve.

#Penpaling #penpals #penpal community #snailmail #snail mail #snailmail communuity

[gonepostage]

My lovely oddballs, are you looking for a penpal?

I see a lot of people wanting to write more letters in the weird world we’re all living in right now. I support this fully.

If you’re looking for a penpal, be smart, be diligent, be brave. There are many websites and blogs for finding penpals, but they’re not all created equal, and not all penpals are looking for the same thing. 

Some places like penpalworld.com, interpals.com or penpalsnow.com are about culture and language exchange. Postcrossing.com is a great place if you love postcards, but don’t necessarily care about building a penpal relationship. Swapbot.com is similar, and great for people looking for stuff.  I recommend tumblr or other social media if you want to reach out to artists or creatives.  Search for specific penpal blogs for stationary and ephemera addicts. A great one that comes to mind is The League of Extraordinary Penpals at extraordinarypenpals.com, but there are so many, including ones here on tumblr. There are more resources than you think, just search, search, search.

Depending on where you look, keep in mind that you might get emails from strange people, scam artists, people who make you uncomfortable... like I said, be smart, be diligent, be brave.

This leads to my most important recommendation: SENDSOMETHING.NET

It’s a lovely little community of creators, writers, artists, collectors and oddballs. They’re my kind of weirdos, who love to collect strange articles of paper, send you handcrafted art and make letter writing a cathartic, artistic endeavor. It’s a secret little pocket of the internet that I’ve found entirely wholesome and inspiring. Do explore. And of course, be smart, be diligent, be brave.

#penpal #letter writing #penfriend #write more letters #snail mail #mail art #mailbox #artists #creators #writers #collectors #ephemera #be smart #be diligent #be brave #snail mail revolution #postcard #postal #postage #stamps #usps #culture #language #collage #collage art #paper craft #handmade #upcycled

[astroyongie]

Hey 🌙✨

Hello everyone, I’m writing this after much thought. Everyone knows I’m against negativity however there have been some current things that have happened that are troubling me and so I’ve decided to speak about it so we can avoid such situations in the future and hopefully keeping on spreading positivity and love

First thing of, I want to remind everyone that I’m just a Fan like you. I hold this blog and write because I enjoy doing so, and like every other blog it’s based on entrainment

Remember that I’ve a personal life as well, I can’t be posting 24/24h. I try to do my best but please stop sending me asks hurrying me, it causes more anxiety than anything else

Also I’ll kindly ask for whoever is sending hateful asks in my inbox to stop. I won’t answer them, in fact they are immediately deleted. Despite not letting such thing hurt me, remember I’m still a human

Please stop coming for me every time you aren’t satisfied with a ship I made (remember you are the one asking for it) or for a mtl, reaction. They are based in MY opinion that doesn’t mean they are true or whatever and I shouldn’t be justifying myself on why I pick this particular member or other.

English isn’t my first language. Please be mindful even if I know I can be clumsy with my words and I apologise for whomever I’ve made uncomfortable for it

I take my readings/tarot very seriously as well. You have the right not too, of course we all have our believes and so it gives you no right to be mean. Be mindful and respectful

Readings aren’t always positive. There’s some that are negative and predicte bad things so keep that in mind when requesting, and don’t come at me once again when it isn’t your taste. I’ve no power on what comes out. You asked a reading, I do it. I can’t control the outcome.

And of course some readings can be mistaken I’ve already spoke about the importance of being physically close to someone during readings. Online ones can’t be as accurate as physical ones

Also speaking on readings, remember a lot of people ask money for them. I don’t, I do them freely letting people tip only if they want, so please stop sending negative asks in my inbox about this topic as well. I’ve never asked money and neither will I, Tarot isn’t a thing you should be taking money from l. (Plus I was even thinking about penpalling however tipped me with penpal and NCT goodies just to let them know how thankful I was. )

Remember if you don’t like my content just stop following me !

And finally THANK YOU to everyone who sends positive comebacks and asks. They warm my heart and I wish everyone nothing but happiness and peace 💓

Anyway that’s it, I’m really sorry for all of this. I just needed to make this point clears so thank you everyone

[thepenpalhub]

[Queennie's Looking For Penpals (Either in Snail Mail, Email or Both!)]

Hello, this is Queennie from my deactivated Tumblr account @/heart-bleeding-autism-angel (and also from my deactivated sideblog @autism-angels-reading-corner). (Both of my main and side blog are deactivated last January 1, 2021 at midnight, Philippines Time.)

I may not be returned nor signing up to Tumblr again (Please respect my decisions, okay?) because I don't want to hear another negativity again, especially when when the year 2021 is officially started already but I am still continue to looking for penpals.

Without further ado, here's get to know more about me:

Name: Queennie

Country: Philippines

Important Notes: I was born Autistic/with Autism/Special Needs when I was one year and a half old.

Age: 20

Birthday: July 20 (Born 2000)

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Favorite Colors: Pink, Purple and Pastel Colors

Favorite Designs: Polka Dots, Stars and Night Sky with City Lights, Hearts, Strawberries, Butterflies, Hello Kitty, Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse, Roses, Bunnies Favorite Animals: Dogs, Cats, Bunnies and Butterflies

Likes: Kpop (I started to love Kpop last 2009 and my current favorites are EXO, NCT, SuperM, VIXX, Super Junior + disbanded groups like 2NE1 and B.A.P), Books, RWBY (A web animation series from Rooster Teeth), Anime (Mostly Love Live! School Idol Project/Sunshine!! (and other Love Live! Series), Pokemon, Naruto + Other favorites that are too many to mention), Cartoons (SpongeBob SquarePants, Oggy and the Cockroaches, etc.), Animation/Musical and Comedy Movies, Cooking and Baking videos, Korean Hip-Hop (I mostly love Nafla, BLOO, Loopy and JUSTHIS + all artists of GROOVL1N), Games like SuperStar SMTOWN, Pokemon Cafe Mix, and rhythm games like Cytus/Cytus II, Deemo, VOEZ and Love Live! School Idol Festival, and I secretly like Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Dislikes: News because it's affecting my mental health and emotional health, politics, hearing something that made me upset and triggering like protests, terrorism, death mentions including suicide, Horror and gore movies, people who are so being dirty to me like sending nude pictures/porn pictures (Examples: Boobs, vagina, penis) on both email and snail mail and those people who not talking about my favorite things and just changing the topic about something that made me real uncomfortable non stop until I fed up.

What I am looking for Penpals who are:

Ages: 20-25 years old ONLY!

Country: Doesn't matter what country you are  but mostly I prefer who is from USA and Philippines. Still, it doesn't matter where are you from as long as you are 100% active and being nice to me since I am with Autism.

Genders: Mostly Females

Where you can contact me?

By email at [email protected] and/or by Kakao Talk (My Kakao Talk ID is AutismAngel110) so I can send you my address privately. (I know but I prefer they will send me a penpal letter first and then I will reply to them after the penpal letter has arrived.)

For the penpals who want me to do snail mail, you can send me anything like printed pictures and postcards and/or photocards, washi tapes, stickers, bookmarks (sometimes magnetic bookmarks) and greeting cards if a special occasion comes soon

Also, if we slowly became SPECIAL PENPALS, I will send you a Amazon Wishlist. You can surprise me just about anything whether it's normal, or my birthday or any kind of special occasions like Christmas, Valentine's, Halloween, Etc. PLEASE ALSO TAKE NOTE THAT THIS IS 100% OPTIONAL but it will be nice if they will gift me anything IF WE BECOME SPECIAL PENPALS. If you are out of your budget, please skip. I promise, no pressure for you.

Take a look of my Amazon Wishlist here: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2B73O0A0228Q5?ref_=wl_share

That's everything I had. I hope you will be interested to be my penpal as much as I do. Thank you so much.

Much love,

Queennie

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