#as if theyre gonna be hurt by idk direct sunlight or something

[literallyaflame]

hey my recent post got kinda out of hand so i deleted it, it’s my bad for not being more clear on what exactly i was saying. i’ve been working with cats my whole life, rest assured my pets are neither a threat to themselves nor their surroundings

#seriously i didnt mean you should let ur cats be outside totally unsupervised #we have a nice yard with no critters #in twenty years we’ve never had a bird death or a cat get sick #i think a dog got bit by a snake once but that was a big dog and we were literally there she was on a walk #for reference the reason i posted in the first place was cause someone said catios werent good enough which was so odd to me #catios being like a screened in porch for cats #as if theyre gonna be hurt by idk direct sunlight or something

[darktyrannomon]

highlights of the week:

literally screaming in my car that i cant do this anymore, hyperventilating and literal choking

same day yanking open the cutlery draw and staring at the knives for about 10 mins trying to either bring myself to take one of the blunt monstrosities to my wrists or bring myself to shut the drawer and walk away but was locked in indecision

still not sure if that decision was the right one

crippling debt, still not sure if esa is approved

in the middle of fourth point and first point: very not subtly breaking down in front of a receptionist and complete stranger at docs. as i turn to run out the door stranger touches my shoulder and asks if there’s anything she can do. i visibly flinch back from the contact and stammer that i just need to go home

nearly crash the car on way back home 3 times

go to point one

the car i think has something wrong with the coolant its overheating really quickly in this heat which it didnt do last summer and im convinced its just the water/coolant thats the issue but i dont /actually/ know how to deal with that and my parents are on holiday

i came in from awful day friday ten mins before my brother, his two under 5 kids, and randomly his starving friend he needs to feed (? apparently he collapsed at work so sam gave him microwave dinners and has been takin him to the supermarket or st) come through the door, nearly let the dog out, get in my space. STOP IN THE DOORWAY WHEN THERES NO ROOM FOR ME AND MY ARMFUL OF STUFF TO GO THROUGH so i have to go MOVE MOVE GOGOGO whilst having a panic attack i sobbed for like 30 mins and didnt eat that day until 9pm

keep overheating

people keep telling me to do one thing then saying they cant do the thing that needs to be done in return

serious neglect issues idk man

pretty sure the best thing to do is to drop all contact with everyone

people tell me to get council flat if i want my own space

but you cant guarantee what you get with council flat and could end up next to MORE FUCKING KIDS

my youngest niece is an Actual Brat she just screams and cries like someone’s shot her but shes just doing it??? for the hell of it???

i did laundry

dog dragged my round the streets on his walk the second day into my parents holiday to the point i actually started sobbing on the streets cause my busted shoulder/neck hurt so fucking bad

my neighbour came round telling my brother to move his van cause its up on the verge and unsafe you cant see the street and im like ok ill tell him??? he’s all puffed up ready for an argument but when i relay to my brother he’s like??? i havent had a van in months since my new job lol so he tells neighbour who looks like he’s gonna lay into him and neighbour visibly deflates and apologises profusely lol

my phone was due an upgrade (hello new sony xperia xa)

severe neglect/balance issues im trying severely to outdo by thinking logically about them but i think that makes it worse cause i get why shit is this way but i still feel upset and put down and frustrated and angry by it

i took the dog on two v long off lead walks he had a good time but i think i got sunstroke which isnt like odd at all cause i can get it in 14c weather let alone 20c in direct sunlight (i unloaded the laundry str8 after i had to press my face against all my wet tshirts to try and cool down but it still didnt work rip

ive ordered two cute phone cases cause the last time i had a phone case was for my nokia 3310 cause i have to get the mediocre pay bracket with the obscure phones so i can never find cases and theyre due within the next month or so and literally waiting for these im ashamed to admit is all that is keeping me alive rn lol

starting little witch academia (i love chariot tbh)

#breathes