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waitingforsecretsouls · 11 months

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Catching up on Tower of God, and all these theories about how obviously Zahard is the one who did something to Traumerei’s memories and that’s the only reason he could possibly be loyal to him, and as soon as Bam or Gustang or whatever gives him back his memories he’s immediately gonna turn on Zahard are reeeaally weird to me, and diminishing to both Zahard and Traumerei as characters.

Everything we’be been shown about Traumerei so far paints him as a huge cunt, by choice, who gets off on the suffering of others (which is why he’s a favourite, of course <3 ). When he’s not napping or dead inside he’s short-tempered, capricious and cruel. A feature not a bug, if you will. While it’s true that we haven’t been shown the origin of his memory-and-emotion-discarding habit we have been shown occasions where he proactively chooses that course of action by himself-in the Yasratcha flashback, where he returned from the Nest to feed some more to Leviathan before dealing with Nen Nen and Wang Wang, and sometime after the incident, if you go by his distorted recollection of the event to Yasratcha. We know from Leviathan that Traumerei is the one who created him and kept feeding ‘filthy’ memories and emotions to him, in quite the amount from what it sounds like. These memories, going by what we know so far, would contain Traumerei at his worst, such as his punishment of Wang Wang, Nen Nen and Yasratcha for example, and likely be coloured by resentment and hatred rather than regret and sorrow (something soldified by Leviathans demeanour, imo) (meaning the current Traumerei is the ‘sanitized’ version).

That aside, how exactly would Zahard have found a way to force Traumerei to cut unwanted memories and emotions out of himself in a way that seems distinctly Traumerei (involving the creation of a Shinheu)? This is not the Hidden Floor, where they were simple data to manipulate and erase (without ill effects to their real/outside selves)! Why would Traumerei have kept up that coping mechanism over the millenia, if it was something forced upon him by Zahard? Why exactly would Zahard himself inquire after Traumerei’s memories, if a key piece of Traumerei’s loyalty to him was their erasure? Zahard himself is the one who brings them up in the first place! What seems like a realtively recent problem to boot, and in a way that seems more eager that he remember and out of worry for an old friend and comrade (’By the way, what kind of nightmares have you been having lately? Do you still not remember?’), (at the end of their strategy meeting, after the ‘business talk’ is already finished) than as some sort of insidious check-up to make sure that he doesn’t remember something from tens of thousands of years ago. It honestly feels like people projecting their dislike of Zahard onto Traumerei, when everything we’ve ever heard about him and are ever shown about him shows him as an ‘enthusiastic’ follower of Zahard and having an absolutely insane treshold of what counts as genuine loyalty. Heck, going by everything about him, it’s more likely that even if he had harboured resentment against Zahard, he would erase it himself to uphold the standard of loyalty he preaches!

In fact, I’d go so far as to say, in view of the Yasratcha flashback and obvious mirroring between him and Traumerei, that it’s far likelier that Traumerei came up with some weird revenge scheme as punishment for ‘abandoning’ him rather than simply being yoinked along by Zahard in something, and that, if he erased his memories because he found them unpleasant to deal with, it was not due to guilt or sorrow but anger and resentment (as we eg. see him exhibit in the flashback upon returning from a trip to the Nest, where he clearly has some leftover frustration).

A lot of fanon seems to view Traumerei as former emotionally softie of the group, who was a poor little meow-meow before he experienced a deep betrayal that emotionally hardened him. While I’m ready to concurr with the latter (and the general fact that the Great Warriors devolved into worse personalities with time) I’d like to point to the examples of what Traumerei perceives as ’betrayals’ in the story, and whether they seem reasonable and justified to feel betrayed by in the first place, or deserving of ‘punishment’, and then reflect upon the likelihood of Traumereis formative betrayal (assuming there is one, definitive one, or that it even involves the Great Warriors) being a cut and dry affair.

As for painting Zahard as the instigator of his unpleasant personality, it reflects an unwillingness to let people other than him be fucked up even though we already know plenty of other family leaders who are, as well as lack of consideration that Zahard might care about some people, like his oldest comrades, and they care about him in turn. Zahard confiding in Traumerei with regards to his views and plans in the first place, Traumerei going above and beyond his assignment to try to turn Bam against Gustang if he proves useful, for example. ‘But the order concering the Poe Bideau family!’- Gustang is the one who stirs the pot in the first place, the one who stole an item whose sole purpose is to defeat Zahard, the one who basically declared if not war certainly conflict, and let it be known that it’s not like Zahard put out a hit on Gustang (which would arguable be pointless, but we do know people as powerful as Eurasia Enne Zahard are capable of getting imprisoned) but merely his family, Gustang’s major instrument for affecting the politics of the Tower.

As of now it seems far more plausible to me for whatever leftover memories that are haunting Traumerei as nightmares to be something done by him instead of to him.

I think that it’s been set up that Traumerei is gonna remember something at the least, and likely something big (maybe eventually prodded by Bam, whom Leviathan told of at least some memories fed to him), but when he does it’s not gonna lead to a sudden heel-turn and alliance, problem solved, but instead a Traumerei actually out for blood, instead of bored and dead inside (anyone remember Bam’s refusal to let Leviathan go free bc ‘if I let it out [...] I’d be committing a sin against the world’ (TOG #531)? That Shinheu formed out of all of Traumerei’s most negative memories and emotions he discarded? That would presumably bubble back up inside Traumerei himself when he remembers?)

To close with a Maschenny quote that summarizes my hopes for Traumerei:

“Has it really disappeared now? That rage of yours? [...] Even if you say that rage has hardened and sunk in your mind, I don’t understand how it could just fly away in the wind like that. It gets more intense and clings to you even more firmly as time passes and you recall those memories. That’s the kind of emotion that rage is. And as long as that rage lives-war can break out at any time.”

-Khun Maschenny Zahard, Tower of God #390

#Tower of God #Lo Po Bia Traumerei #my pet theory that I know is highly unlikely to be canon is that -assuming there was a formative betrayal and it involved the Great Warrior #is that Traumerei was the one who instigated some sort of messed up retaliation or whatever in some form #(forced V to kill himself?)#if we take leviathans demeanour as a genuine representation of Traumerei emotions (excepting eg the resentment of serving as smg to dump hi #negative emotions into)#there is some resentment against Zahard (unless the king he's talking about is Traumerei as his creator)#so what if...the person Traumerei felt betrayed by was Zahard? Maybe for proposing to Arlene even after their huge disagreement..?#So he did something to mess things up even further so V and Arlene really 'betrayed' Zahard (trying to steal the key..?)#(mirroring how Yasratcha framed Wang Wang as a traitor to Traumerei)#(so he'd have no choice but to disregard him either way and come with Yasratcha)#(which I realize is not an exact copy but slightly inverted in the scenario I'm proposing)#boom #Zahard feels betrayed by them for real and retaliates and no more talk of reconciliation #yes Traum talks about dominating those who betray him into forcefully staying by his side but consider:#his 'domination' is literally manipulation?#Emotionally as we see with Wang Wang and Nen Nen even if he seemingly had no set goal #manipulating others be it by controlling their bodies eg Yasratcha or their choices and actions #ngl part of me just wants him to be the toxic gay best friend à la Yasratcha sooo bad #if you want wholesome stuff there's Bam and Khun and whatnot the Great Warriors are for toxicity ONLY #also do not care about leviathan as Bams xth absorbed power show me those memories or perish!

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tmae3114 · 7 months

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every so often I come across a piece of fiction where Character A expresses to Character B that Character B does not truly love them, because if you really loved me, you would have abandoned that belief you have, broken that rule you have, given up this way of life you've valued since before I ever came into it, I'm not even saying you have to do it always but you should do it for me, I should be the exception, and if you won't then you don't love me, you never have!

and I find myself thinking wow, how cruel is that, to declare that you must be the singularly most important thing in someone's life at all times, that they must be willing to abandon everything they believe in for your wants or their love isn't real, how cruel to say they must abandon a part of themselves for your satisfaction, to declare that the way they do love you is so insufficient as to be unrecognisable because it isn't exactly what you want

and then I go to engage with the fandom and everybody thinks Character A is unquestionably correct in all ways and Character B is a terrible person

and I just

hm.

#me #I'm like 'I'd like to see some discussion about how cruel this is to Character B!'#'this is an interesting story about boundaries and things you cannot give!'#and then everybody else is like 'wow Character B should have abandoned everything they believe in!'#'Their way of life should be meaningless in the face of Real Expressions Of Love!'#and I'm just left. staring.#it's tiring #sometimes I even find media where two characters are mature about having incompatible beliefs and ways of life #and have had healthy discussions about it and come to an agreement they are both content with even if they have some wistful thoughts #AND THEN THE FANDOM ADDS THIS DYNAMIC ON TOP OF IT IN ALL THE FANWORKS #I'm just. tired atm I think. of this specific thing #tired of the unspoken background radiation assumption that a Way Of Life cannot possibly be the most important thing to you #That that being the case is some sort of betrayal #it hits some personal buttons quite hard I think #and I keep running into it

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m1d-45 · 1 year

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mans ruthless and only gets the way his master taught him how to be, just with a tad more shame and guilt

(what I mean by that it's that it's a emotional and social reset)

elaborate please

uh thoughts to put on paper- phone. screen. text? uh

yk how once we talked about how albedo would react if his master suddenly came back? how he'd be like "it's not my personal business to know what she has been doing, she was gone and now she's back that's all I need to know" when rhinedottir abandoned him

he responded devoid of emotion towards the subject like all his experience in learning and expressing feelings and his own thoughts stopped and he began at square one, with his master and him as a puppet (robot- synthetic being? but that's beside the point)

so then I thought about what you wrote with him and how he reacted in klee told him about the creator and he knew he was your creation not his master's bc you gave hwe the idea and he was yours

basically I feel that if he killed you and found out you where the creator he'd kinda. just. stop. he'd reset, for lack of a better word. he wasn't good enough to be yours (infact he killed you-) so how could he be good enough as himself? since him wasn't working out maybe he just needed to be what he'd always been. a tool.

- 🍄 (I send this bc this anon must know my thoughts but this was takes directly off my dms and I wrote all of this at 12:14. I colored it bc it seems fun- hi midas you're blue and the creator too)

context these are copy pasted dms between me and mushroom, regarding squid anon and i’s talks abt albedo! talk below the readmore.

oh, kaeya and klee are mentioned to not be on reader’s typical team(or at least not the one they use for commissions, if you use a separate team for those), and neither is albedo, who also isn’t on your main fighting team! or maybe he is and you moved him off because Memories. no other vessels specified, though.

god mushroom i am. we r holding hands rn im-

for context mushroom and i had a chat about how if rhinedottir ever returned he wouldn’t really see a problem with it, as mushroom said just a “she’s back now and that’s what matters, who am i to question her?” kinda deal. the paragraph with klee refers to the second part of abiogenesis wherein (again as mushroom said) albedo realizes that he doesn’t long to rhinedottir, and that he is your creation in actuality.

putting these two ideas together we get pain the concept of a mental reset. it’s as if he’s shot back years in the past, when rhine first abandoned him. except this time it’s worse, it’s so much worse, because he was the one that told you to go- he killed you. he ruined not only his own chance at being redeemed (he always knew he was a monster a threat a danger, khemia runs in his blood- an art born of hubris makes his synthesis hubristic as well, and here he is, icarus) but the entire worlds. who knows when—if?—you’ll return, after all? it took you eons before, when you had a godly body and almost of your powers. but now, now your body is human, now you’re weakened and he just ruined it. will you even heal by the time the heat death of the world comes for them? he doesn’t know. does he want to?

mushroom really put it brilliantly- “he wasn’t good enough to be yours, so how could he be good enough as himself?” and “he responded devoid of emotion towards the subject, like all his experience in learning and expressing feelings and his own thoughts stopped and he began at square one, with his master and him as a puppet.” like im on the floor head in hands mushroom take my blog

albedo 100% has this idea of his ‘utility’ being tied to his worth—have i mentioned my utter and absolute hatred for rhinedottir yet?—so this- like this fucks him up bad man. like for the first week he’s sitting in his lab, trying to work but unable to move, his mind running a mile a minute as his body just.. sits there. sucrose tries to get him to eat, klee tries to drag him for a walk, but he’s hollow.

rhinedottir only came back because he studied alchemy, because he followed her final wish, because he was trying and by some miracle his work was adequate. but you? how could he ever measure up to you? how could he fulfill a request you never posed? how could he live up to your death?

zoom out a bit. the world of teyvat is… stable, somehow, despite the death of its god having taken place on its soil. his machines still report steady ley lines, lisa doesn’t sense any change in elemental activity, and the winds in mondstat are as easy as ever.

why? simple: you still have genshin downloaded.

after your horrific hyper-realistic dream—it has to be a dream, dreams can be realistic right? it had to be, it had to be-—you had kept away from the game for a bit, but you never had the heart to fully delete it. after all… it’s still a fun game. still a wholehearted hobby of yours. still something you enjoy.

still something you love, even as your chest aches with a phantom pain.

after a week, you can think about dragonspine without feeling icy winds bite into your skin, you can remember mondstat with a fond smile instead of a quivering shake. and despite it all… you miss it.

who are you to dislike a game because of your mind, right? and besides, it’s been a week- you need the primos from your commissions at least, right?

and so, after just over a year, the creator’s presence returns to teyvat.

it’s felt as a ripple over the entire earth, the soil itself blooming new flowers as your vessels flicker to where you left them last. your game doesn’t show these, of course, and your vessels don’t notice, too caught up in a confused sort of excitement. the traveller is surprised a god could be so benevolent, and paimon is flying in circles with glee.

teyvat is… exactly as you remember, really. you pick sweetflowers and mint on your way to your commissions—all surprisingly easy, the enemies dissipating quicker than they normally would, but you shrug it off as just your time away. distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that, right?

squirrels and foxes run alongside your character, strangely, and you use your omni—ubiquity nets to copy a few for your teapot. there seems to be so much more detail- birds chirp, your graphics are unusually good, everything is running at a smooth 60 frames…

maybe you missed it more than you thought.

after some consideration, you decide to go to mondstat to collect your rewards. it’s unsettling, being inside a city you remember, but it’s easy enough to shake off. blanche talks about liyue being the largest commercial port. sara calls the day’s recommendation—the steak, as it is every day. marjorie stands outside her shop, and katheryne is at her kiosk.

all is as it should be.

zoom back in again. albedo is dragged from the knight’s headquarters by kaeya and klee, and he raises a hand to shield himself from the light reflecting off the stone. everything’s so… bright. the world seems unusually lively, yet the city is oddly quieter than normal.

“how about we take albedo fish-blasting, huh klee?”

“ooh! can we really?”

albedo is pulled into mondstat’s courtyard, and a minor smile flickers across his face at his sister’s enthusiasm. she pulls him past the fountain, past good hunter, past where the wind comes glory-

his feet freeze to the floor.

there, at the adventurer’s guild kiosk. there, the bright blond hair of the traveller, there, the smile from katheryne as she thanks them- thanks you for completing your commissions.

the traveller had been doing them on their own while you were gone, diligently handing the otherworldly gems off to paimon to give to you. but now… now he can see the bag disappear in golden sparks, going straight to you.

you were back.

another zoom out. you walk away from the kiosk, up towards the alchemy table—unaware of how closely your vessel brushes to albedo, of how tightly kaeya clutches klee’s hand, keeping her still. you go, and he sees you stop at the- at the alchemy table?

timaeus gives him a look from across the courtyard. he can’t bring himself to return it, watching your vessel until they vanish again.

if it weren’t for the hushed call of his name from kaeya, he’d think it never happened at all.

you’d only condensed one batch of resin, so you could use the rest on weeklies. after a cursory glance over your team—you missed this, you missed them—you decide which ones to go and fight, quickly falling back into your groove.

the bosses deal like half their typical damage, provided they even attack at all. really, you’d almost consider rebooting the game if you weren’t done with such easy kills. childe skips his usual taunts—you chalk it up to a glitch—and so does andrius, and the key line blossoms give you the exact drops you want.

resin spent, commissions done, and too drained for exploring, you decide to simply walk around. your memory of mondstat is sharper now, and you barely look at the minimap as you simply walk around. it’s different than in your dreams, and yet so similar.

with a quick stop at a statue of the seven to heal your team of any lost hp, you log out. you could have sworn you heard something whispered in the song of the main menu, but you shrug it off.

you suppose it’s gamer brain.

another zoom in. i swear i’m almost done.

albedo’s in a bit of a daze as he walks, only klee’s hand keeping him from running into rocks.

you.. had returned. to mondstat. and didn’t… you didn’t hate it? the traveller seemed upset when they’d looked over- but that was expected, and their emotions weren’t necessarily yours. but you, you had willingly chosen to collect your rewards there.

when they arrive at starfell valley, klee doesn’t even seem happy to launch her bombs into the water. she simply sits at the edge of the lake, watching the fish swim below.

kaeya sits with her, and albedo is on her other side, but looking at the statue of the seven. when you show up, he almost thinks it’s his imagination, until klee gasps and kaeya’s hand moves to keep her sitting on the bank of the lake.

the statue shimmers as it heals the small scrapes on your team, though you disappear again just as quickly as you appeared.

he stares at where you were, stunned again that he’d be able to feel your aura wash over him for the second time that day. as the golden dust of your teleportation falls to the ground, his empty mind fills with two words, a bud of hope beginning to bloom in his chalk heart.

‘thank you.’

#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#🍄 anon #i think i’ll put #🦑 anon #because you deserve to be mentioned in this #idk if my anons scroll through their tags or if this is just some Useless Thing I Do #but. you’re here :)#also HELLO MUSHROOM!!! HI :DD #ALSO. FUCK RHINEDOTTIR.#also also! im blue!!!! :D #also also ALSO not meant to be kaebedo i just thing kaeya would understand the sort of betrayal feeling albedo is experiencing #i understand if you see it like that but not my intention!#also also also also this is shit and i’m sorry but it’s 12:12 so can you hold it against me

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whumble-beeee · 8 months

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Whumptember 2023, Day Three

“This can’t be it”

Betrayal | Left to die | Running away

@whumptember

The Bee's Whumptember Masterlist

CW: Fear of heights, fear of death, character repeatedly called “kid” even though they’re an adult, knives, begging, li’l bit of blood

~2460 words

(Good lord this got long, I just couldn’t stop writing it. I may have to continue this at some point, because its just so aaaaa)

Part 2 HERE!

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Whumpee’s head spun as he gazed down at the ground, a dizzying twelve story drop into the the unforgiving alleyway below. Then at Sibling's smiling form balanced on the building ledge across the gap. They were practically flailing at him with encouragement. Whumpee pulled back a small step. “I’m not so sure about this anymore, Sibling…”

Sibling immediately deflated, not unlike an inflatable tube man when he when it’s blower was turned off. They raised their eyebrow at Whumpee, a slight grin tugging at the edges of their mouth.

“What, ya scared?”

“I’m serious, Sibling!” Whumpee pouted, before accidentally looking down into the large crevasse separating them from their beloved sibling again. Had it gotten higher in the last five seconds? “I don't wanna– I can’t– I– I–”

“-- hey, hey, Whumpee?” Sibling called out to him, their voice smooth as butter. “Don’t look down, look at me.” Something in Sibling's voice gifted Whumpee the strength to tear his eyes away from the dizzying height.

“You could jump farther distances in your sleep. I’ve seen it.” Sibling joked, a playful smile the only thing betraying their otherwise stoic demeanor. “You’re one hell of a sleepwalker. You can do this, kid. I wouldn’ta brought you up here if you couldn’t, I wouldn’t fuck with you like that. You can do it, I promise.”

“I can do it, I can do it…”

Before he even realized it, Whumpee was flying through the air, relishing the wind rustling through his hair and clothes, feeling the rush of adrenaline propelling him forward, knowing there wasnothing between him and the pavement below other than his simple act of propulsion. His leap of faith. He even enjoyed the painful pressure and force of the landing spider webbing throughout his body as he rolled forward and almost crashed into Sibling.

Whumpee didn't even try to stand up out of the roll, splaying out over the rough concrete and giggling profusely as the adrenaline gave way to a new sense of euphoria. The air was so much crisper up here, the wind stronger, the stakes higher! No wonder Sibling was constantly scaling the rooftops instead of helping at home, this was better than anything you could find with your feet on the ground.

Whumpee jumped up and started bouncing around just like his older sibling. “I did it! I did It! It was so AWESOME, it was amazing, I FLEW!”

The look of pride Sibling gave Whumpee could have satiated him for days. It was all he ever could have asked for. “You did amazing, kid, really. And the best part? You getta keep doing it too.”

Whumpee leaned over himself, panting. “Yeah… But also…” He grabbed Sibling by the shoulder and shot them a look of mock condescension, as if he pitied his sibling for being dumb enough to even consider such an outrageous untruth. “I’m not a kid.”

Sibling sized their brother up playfully. “Oh yeah, you’re a real Mr. Adult-man huh? Mr. Nineteen-year-old, Mr. take-on-the-gangs-and-save-the-girl mwah mwah mwah…” Sibling pitched their voice higher and gushier as they pantomimed their hands into two figures kissing, becoming increasingly more aggressive until their hands were just flapping and smushing against the other.

Whumpee clasped their hands around Sibling’s to stop the egregious display. “Stop, you look stupid.” he smiled.

“Mr. Big BOI,” Sibling continued, “Mr. MAN, BIG MAN BOY who can take anyone on in a fight!” Sibling pounced on Whumpee and wrenched him into a loose headlock, noogeying him as Whumpee shrieked and laughe, trying to escape his sibling’s considerate iron grip.

“STOP STOP STOP AUGH SIBLING–!”

“Aw, come on, Sibling, it’s inconsiderate not to stop if someone asks you to stop.”

Everything froze at the sudden intrusion of this new voice. Sibling dropped Whumpee, and Whumpee’s face almost smacked on the ground from the short fall.

“Then again,” The voice continued with a drawl. “We’re not the most considerate bunch, are we?”

“Whumper…”

Whumpee tentatively raised his head up to figure what the hell was going. He almost wished he didn’t. Four people effectively cornered them, backing them up against the rooftop ledge, and more importantly, the deadly drop into the alleyway below. Sibling stood above him, jaw clenched and hands contorted into tight fists, eyeing the person who must have been named Whumper. The perpetrators all looked at them smugly, though one did raise an eyebrow at Whumpee when he caught their eye.

“Whumper?... Who’s Whumper? Who are these people?” Whumpee looked up questioningly to Sibling, before addressing the group directly. “ What do you want?”

Whumper’s eyes lit up with an amused twinkle as they eyed Whumpee up and down, an almost friendly smile gracing their lips. “Grab the kid.”

Two of the goons were upon Whumpee before he could even think to fight back, grabbing at his clothes and pushing down on his shoulders. Sibling yelled desperately at them to “STOP!” as the third one grabbed them by the arms and held them back. One of them kicked Whumpee hard in the back of the legs, and down he went, bare knees slamming into and scraping against the unforgiving rooftop. Whumpee cried out.

“WHUMPER!” Sibling screamed, struggling fruitlessly again the arms holding them in place. “Leave him alone, he’s got nothin’ to do with you!”

Whumper ignored Sibling, instead crouching down in front of Whumpee and tilting their head compassionately. “Sibling, you never told me you had a kid.” They reached out to fiddle with the drawstrings on Whumpee’s hoodie. “You didn’t tell him about me?”

“I keep work and personal life separate.” Sibling spat. “And he’s not my kid. Let him go!”

“Sibling, help!” Whumpee cried. He couldn’t take it. He trembled under the tight grips clamping down onto his shoulders. He tried to stand up, to fight back in some way, but the hands held him down, forcing his arms back to his sides whenever he tried to raise them. His breathing became increasingly fast and shallow. “Don’t let them hurt me!”

“Hey, don’t look at them,” Whumper said as they tied Whumpee's hoodie strings into a bow. “They don’t exist right now. Eyes on me.” They brought their hand up to Whumpee’s jaw to guide their gaze to them, but Whumpeejerked violently away from the touch before being forcibly righted again by the goons. Whumper sighed and pulled a switchblade out of their jacket. They opened the blade with a flourish and nestled right under Whumpee’s Adam’s apple, earning a squeak from Whumpee. The entire world went silent. Nothing existed except Whumper and the switchblade.

“What’s your name?” Whumper whispered, voice smooth as velvet.

“W-W-Whumpee. I’m Whumpee.” he stuttered, voice barely audible. He could feel the knife moving against his throat as he spoke, the uneven pressure biting into his skin, daring him to try something.

“That’s your sibling over there, then? You’re their brother?” Whumpee nodded quickly to both questions.

“And you don’t know who I am?”

Whumpee shook their head fervently. Whumper smiled at him, then tussled his hair like Sibling would. “Then I’ll give you a pass for talking to me like that. But only because you’re so cute, and I’m feeling generous today.” Whumper pulled at the end of one of Whumpees hoodie strings, untying the bow. “And only if you promise to never speak so disrespectfully to me again. You promise?”

Whumpee pursed his lips and nodded, eyes squeezed shut so tight that he wasn’t sure he’d ever see light again.

“Come again? I couldn’t hear you.”

“Yes, yes, okay!” Whumpee finally squeaked out.

The blade against his throat pressed in deeper, stinging, and Whumpee let out an accidental whine. “Yes, what?”

“Yes, uh yes… Sir! Yes, sir! Er ah, yes, ma’am? Uh, Captain?!” Whumpee despaired. He was gonna have his throat slit because they couldn’t figure out the right honorific.

Except Whumpee didn’t feel the sharp point of the knife cutting through his windpipe anymore. Instead, an amused laugh escape the throat of Whumper above him. “Damn, kid, I kinda like that. ‘Captain!’ I should use that.” Whumpee felt a pat on the head and, mercifully, the sharp pressure leaving his throat. “Good boy.”

And suddenly the entire world was back again. All the senses assaulted Whumpee, the bright light of the sun and the honking cars and bustle of the streets and the thin crimson streaks now painting his hands after he grasped at his neck and Sibling staring daggers at Whumper and the hands still clamping down on his shoulder and the tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. Whumpee couldn’t have been happier for it. He was alive!

“Now, Sibling,” Whumper started as they stood up. “Back to the business at hand–”

“I don’t have the damn money, Whumper. Let Whumpee go, your business is with me.”

Whumper narrowed their eyes at Sibling, then they shook their head with a tsk. “Didn’t you hear the conversation Whumpee and I just had, Sibling?”

A SNAP rang through the air and Whumper jabbed their thumb toward the edge of the building behind them.

Whumpee was suddenly hoisted up by their arms and being dragged toward the edge, and when he realized what was happening, he screamed. He kicked out and punched and did everything he could to squirm away and fight the two goons forcing him toward the eternal abyss. It didn’t help. They shoved Whumpee up onto the lip of the building as one fisted his sweatshirt and strong-armed him out past the ledge, far enough that Whumpee lost his balance and started to fall backward. The only thing between him and the twelve-story drop, the nauseatingly hard concrete below and Whumpee becoming a fine red mist upon it was the hand twisted into his sweatshirt, and he clawed onto that arm for dear life, barely managing to keep his feet planted on the lip of the building. He didn’t care about trying to look tough in front of Sibling or even the gang members anymore.

“SIBLING, SIBLING HELP, PLEASE, HELP SIBLING I DON’T WANNA DIE PLEASE DON’T LET THEM KILL ME SIBLING PLEASE HELP ME THIS CAN’T BE IT PLEASE!!” He screeched.

Though the adrenaline and tears and bodies blocking his view, Whumpee could vaguely see Sibling yelling at Whumper, arguing with them, gesturing downward and toward themself and Whumpee and Whumper and the goons. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, he was too busy screaming and begging for his life.

Then Sibling ran. Not to attack Whumper, or the goons, not to save Whumpee. No, they ran away. They were running away. Whumpee barely even had time to register it before Sibling was out of sight, jumping over the seams of buildings with the person who had been holding him quickly chasing after them, away from their own brother and the people who were about to kill him. Whumpee shocked into silence, still dangling by the arm of the single goon twelve stories above the unforgiving blacktop. The squeaked, “Sibling?...”

“Get him down.” came the almost irritated voice of Whumper.

The goons unceremoniously pulled Whumpee back over the edge and dumped him onto the sweet sweet ground. Whumpee could have kissed it if he weren’t so shell-shocked. He couldn’t breath, and still he was breathing so hard his lungs were about to burst. Tears smeared his vision, soaking into the concrete floor. He wanted Sibling. He wanted them so bad. Where was Sibling?

Whumper stared at the spot where Sibling had disappeared, then turned their sights to Whumpee. “Wow, your sibling really just took off without you, huh?”

“I-I– they–…” Whumpee gasped. He felt so small.

“I mean, we could’ve killed you so easily just then, and they just up and left. Cared so much about their own ass they gave up yours to save it, I guess.”

“No, they– they–... Sibling…” What? They’d come back for him? They’d save him? They hadn’t just left him to die? Abandoned him, betrayed him, left him to the whims of a person who had almost killed him twice since he met them five minutes ago?

The goon who had held Whumpee out now fidgeted above him. “Well, what now?”

“The plan hasn’t changed,” Whumper stated. “We wait for Goon to catch Sibling and then they pay up or I’ll make them regret ever being born.”

“Alright, what about this one?” The goon nudged Whumpee disdainfully with their foot. “He’s not part of the plan.”

“We could still throw him off the roof.” the other chimed in helpfully.

“NONONO!” Whumpee’s voice cracked, hoarse from all the screaming. “Please, please no– Jus-just let me go, I didn’t d-do anything, I can’t, I can’t–”

“I’m sorry.” Whumper interrupted forcefully, stepping up to Whumpee and looking down upon him as if he were a used piece of chewing gum sticking to their dress shoe. “But I just can’t seem to recall permitting you to speak. Let alone beg.” They pulled out the switchblade and started playing with it, folding it in and out, in and out. “Do you?”

Whumpee’s gaze fixated on the knife. He scooted backward until he was pressing himself up against the lip of the roof again, fully aware that there was nowhere to go but down. He pulled his knees up to his chest. “N-no, s-sir… Captain. I’m sorry.”

“Good.” Whumper flipped the knife around so they were holding it by the blade and swung it downward, bapping Whumpee on the forehead with the handle. “Glad we’re on the same page.”

The goons snickered. “Quick learner, this one.” Whumper ran their hands through Whumpee’s hair. “Good thing too, they’re gonna have to be now that their precious Sibling left them with us for awhile.”

Whumpee’s head shot up. He almost spoke again to question what Whumper meant, before the glint of the knife reminded him of the lesson from just moments before. So he just pulled his legs closer into himself and looked away. Whumper really seemed to be enjoying the show, smiling quaintly at the ball of Whumpee. “You got something to say, kid?”

Was he allowed to not speak? Probably not. “What… does that mean…”

“Right… you probably didn’t know,” Whumper scoffed. “Your sibling owes us a lot of money. Hush money, protection money, doesn’t really concern you, I’m sure. All you need to know is that Sibling is a piece of shit who refuses to pay us back. So the way I see it, you, my lovely boy,” Whumper gestured at him lazily with the switchblade. “Are collateral.”

Collateral? How could a person be collateral?

“What that means for you, basically,” Whumper continued as if reading Whumpee’s thoughts. They slid the flat of the blade under his chin and tilted his head up so they could look him in the eyes, so they could see the understanding in them and the blood drain from his face. “Until Sibling either pays up or we finally kill them…

“We own you.”

#whumptember2023 #whump #whump writing #whumper #kidnapping whump #kidnapping #whumpee #whumptember day 3 #day three: this cant be it #day three: betrayal #day three: left to die #sort of lol #day three: running away #this took me literally all day to write #i was so engrossed #im so proud of it too like i did a really good job with the one #minimal editing bc i have to cut myself off at some point tho #sorry if the pronouns get mixed up at some point lol

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fragmentedblade · 7 months

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No but even beyond the heathcliffean air of his story as a kid, Nelly scene and revenge fantasies included, and even beyond the identification of the self with the craft, the entire concept of Yingxing is so good.

The glimpse we get of the relationship he has with his master has so much potential. What it says about him, what it says about everyone around them, what it says about the kid.

The fact that already as a child Yingxing was vindictive, as he will be as Blade.

His self-consciousness about being a short life species, and how he is right to be self-conscious about it. How in such a short time, being so young, he's had to deal with enormous tragedy, so that he can even as a kid look the truth in the eye and admit it. Admit that he has to work harder, longer, more obsessively, and that still nonetheless there's little chance to get ever at the level of the long life species that look down on him and take him for granted. How he is able to overcome it.

It's incredible also in the context of Dan Feng. How both struggle with their identities and how they get new ones, but in totally opposite ways. Dan Feng is weighted down by what he is and what he can do, and wants to escape that fate, and dreams of a new life in which he can be something else; and Dan Heng is born. Yingxing takes pride in that which he can do, something he wasn't born into, something he had to work very hard to achieve, and that was the path to overcome the prejudices and undermining gazes he had to bear as a short life species. He crafts his place into the Xianzhou society and becomes the legendary Furnace Master. Even on a more personal level, one could argue this is his way of maneuvering his life, of expressing himself, this is how he deals with things; like his relationship with Jing Yuan having a turning point after giving him his weapon, or how he crafted that jade flask. And then he loses his ability to create and loses himself; he becomes Blade.

The fact that even as an adult, as an exceedingly arrogant craftsman, something of the shy self-conscious kid remains is both endearing and heartbreaking as well. In some ways we still see that in Blade.

We also see echoes of that personality in Mr. Xiao, who worked under him. And that alongside his craftsmanship, his ability to fix and create auromatons even though they are vanishing in the civilian landscape, live on through Mr. Xiao. And die alongside him, for Mr. Xiao too has become but a relic of another time.

The way the other stories of craftsmen enhance facets of Yingxing's is so good too. Mainly in the story of Master Ryan and Chengjie, with the insight we get of the struggles of short life species in the Xianzhou, especially those dedicated to a craft, and how hard it is for them to reach positions of prestige. It also poses the question of how we can transcend time, if it's possible at all, and how the sharing of knowledge, the passing down of skills, the shared loved, is one of the answers. This was all already significant before, but the information gains weight with the existence of Mr. Xiao. I'd argue there's echoes of Yingxing even in Master Gongshu. His love for his automatons, his sincere fondness for them, his pride on his job, his loyalty to his position and duties, the way he is both hard and stern as well as loving with his apprentices, and how he talks about short life species.

On a sort of ontological way, it's very interesting to see how Yingxing goes from craftsman to tool or weapon, from creator to creation, from subject to object. The potential in the context of Abundance/Destruction is also extremely intriguing, I think. He who created is unmade by a curse of Abundance. He who forged weapons now follows that path of destruction. There's so much going on with Yingxing conceptually around the cycles of death and rebirth, destruction and creation; it's so fitting that now Blade is stuck in such a cycle in the most literal way.

And it's so fitting too that, in all this context, given Yingxing's entire story, Blade's entire being, that which he made unmade him. That which he created and gave him so much pride was the weapon that killed him. And now he wields it himself, his tool of revenge while he follows the path to eternal and irrevocable death.

#Yingxing #Blade #I talk too much #Fragments and scraps #sort of. I think I'll delete that tag when I save these ideas somewhere else #These are only some of the things I can't stop thinking about #Among other things I wondered what it must have been for Mr. Xiao to see his master's face everywhere around the Luofu #Fu Xuan makes a comment about not believing the short life species are necessarily less knowledgeable and that also said a lot I think #Due both to how she worded and the context. How it seemed to be another sign of her superior wisdom that she realises this #but how it's still an extended pov along the Xianzhou #The idea of being/becoming/losing oneself through and/or because of one's own skills and abilities is also applicable to Jing Yuan #I don't know. There's really so much to think about and dissect. It's so juicy #For real Yingxing is so good as a character. I didn't expect something so good and so well crafted #(and so in tune with all my favourite characteristics and stories. I've not talked #about the Orphic elements and the suicidal tendencies here‚ or the play on betrayals‚ but goodness)#I really wasn't expecting something as good and with so much potential (I am so afraid of them ruining the writing)#The way the worldbuilding and the little glimpses at everyday life of NPCs enhance every concept forming the character is amazing #I truly can't stop thinking of Yingxing/Blade in every facet he has. The very way we are told things is telling #I always say form is substance‚ and I mean it. Yingxing's and Blade's story is such a clear case of this #The fragmentary condition of the storytelling as well as the different levels of trust one can give to every fragment works magnificently #with Blade as a mara-struck person dealing with memory loss and the loss of the self #It also works well with Dan Heng and Jingliu going through something similar‚ with Jing Yuan being manipulative and deceptive and silent‚#with Baiheng being dead. Ironically in my opinion it also works very well with how it seems to be hinted that both Dan Heng #and Blade may recall more than they let on or admit. I'm talking a lot and I should stop already but yes. I can't stop thinking about him #He's skyrocketed to the higher positions in the list of my all-time favourite characters in no time at all #Or at least his potential has. Goodness‚ I hope they don't ruin him...#Ugh I've talked way too much. I'm going to have to move the tags

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